8.26.

23
Dear Ms. Gomez

Hi Monica, my name is Anthony Guzman. I am a student at John Hancock College Prep

but obviously you know that. I first heard of Hancock from my sister, Nancy. She said
that it would be the perfect school for me as it is a college preparatory school and is near
where I live. For some reason, I didn’t even research about this school, I didn’t know
what it looked like, I didn’t know anything about it but for some reason, I just decided
that this was the school that I was going to attend. So I worked for it, I was the
salutatorian of my grade and I got accepted to John Hancock. It's only been a week and I
already love this school, the sense of freedom here is scary but nice. I’m responsible for
my academics, no one’s babysitting me or monitoring me like how it was in middle
school. This is the next step in my life but even though I’m moving up in the world I have
to learn a very important thing, balance. You see, I’m a very active person I can’t just
have a lazy day and be inside all day, I have to do something, most of the time I would go
out and play basketball. I love basketball, I’ve been playing it all my life but it was only
until the summer after 7th grade that I started taking it seriously. I play for hours at a time
alone, working on my shot, on my finishing, and overall my whole game. One of my
goals for freshman year is to make a basketball team(I don’t really care wish) and help
my team win and contribute to my teammates. I’d never been able to play organized
basketball before because my middle school was too small and only very few liked
basketball, however, not enough for a basketball team. The only place where I was able to
play team basketball was at my local park, Vittum Park. I’ve been playing there regularly
for two years now and this is where I spent most of my days. Another place I would go is
to my girlfriend’s house, We’ve been dating for almost 11 months now and she’s one of
the most important people in my life, her family has accepted me into their family. The
unfortunate thing is that she didn’t get accepted into this school, this makes this much
more difficult because couples that don’t go to the same school have a way higher chance
of drifting apart, so this means that I have to put a lot more effort and attention into the
relationship if I want this to work. This all ties back to what I said that I have to learn. I
have to balance so many things in my life, I have to balance basketball, cross country, my
relationships, and my academics. That doesn’t sound like too much but I’m very scared
that having to balance all of this will cause me to be burnt out and that eventually I’m
going to have to choose my priorities. That is the last thing I want so that’s why I have to
learn proper balance. By the end of this freshman year, I’m going to be a completely
different person with new skills, new hobbies, new habits, and new friendships. I will be
shaped and carved into a different person for the better of not only myself but for
everyone important to me. I’m excited to see who I’ll become and where this school will
lead me.

Sincerely,

Anthony G

Feedback: Congratulations on getting Salutatorian in your old school! You have a lot on your
plate but be mindful of yourself! Think about what you need to do - without overloading
yourself. Thank you for writing to me! I learned so much about you! Your letter needs a bit more
proofreading and is barely a page long (change the font to 12). If you'd like to aim for a 100, I
am open to regrading!