Lara Khalil

Multimedia Writing

John J. Johnson, president of Farmer’s Bank in Riverdale, dies at 74

John J. Johnson sadly passed away at age 74 after suffering a heart attack during the first
quarter of Monday night’s Riverdale High School basketball game against Geneva.

Johnson was born and reared in Riverdale, where he had grown up on 1111 Main Street.
He was born to a father who was a longtime minister of the First Presbyterian Church of
Riverdale. Following in his father’s footsteps, Johnson was a committed figure of the community
which is seen through his numerous contributions.

Johnson showcased athleticism during his college years at Riverdale University as an all-
conference basketball performer, leaving a strong legacy behind.

However, he faced challenges during his early stages as he was convicted in 1944 for
draft evasion and served six months in prison.

Johnson returned to education in 1950, and earned a MBA degree from Riverdale
University. Later, he became a member of the Riverdale School Board from 1960 until 1970.

He then became a member of the Riverdale City Council in 1970 until 1978 and during
his last 2 years, he was elected president of the State Bankers’ Association.

Johnson is now survived by his wife, Helen.

The funeral will be held at 11 a.m. Thursday in the McGrew-Jones Funeral Home, 2121
Central Ave. in Riverdale. Burial will be in Evergreen Cemetery. All memorial contributions will
be donated to the local heart association.

Clarification:
My word count is slightly below the asked word count of 250-350 words as the information we
have is limited and I chose to be straight to the point and not add too many “enhancements” or
interpretations to the obituary.

My peer reviews
Lara Khalil
Multimedia Writing

Sara El Kot reviewed by Lara Khalil and Janna Badr

Clarity of writing
i. Not very strong, could use improvement. Doesn’t answer the essential questions
(5Ws). We would recommend adding this information to the lead and separating from
the rest of the info.
ii. Yes. I really liked the language used. Excellent writing.
iii. Yes, it has a story telling flow. The strong language encourages a nice flow to the
story.
iv. Within word count (296 words).

Spelling, Grammar, Punctuation

No mistakes were detected. Well written, clear, no spelling errors.

Headline
Clear and to the point. Gives background on the person while maintaining simplicity.

18/20

-2 pts for the lead not having the essential information.

Janna reviewed by Sara and Lara

Clarity of writing
i. Yes, it answers all of the main questions. 5Ws
ii. Yes, it's captivating and easy to read
iii. Yes, it has a storytelling flow
iv. Within word count

Spelling, Grammar, Punctuation

No mistakes were detected. Well-written, clear, no spelling errors.

Headline
Clear and to the point. Gives background on the person while maintaining simplicity.

19.5/20

-0.5 as she mentions his family along with his wife when it wasn't mentioned in the
information sheet.

_______________

Self assessment
Lara Khalil
Multimedia Writing

Clarity of writing
i. Yes, the lead is strong and addresses the 5 Ws clearly.
ii. The obituary clearly narrates Johnson’s life.
iii. The story flows well and is in chronological order.
iv. My word count is slightly off by 11 words but I have justified it.

Spelling, Grammar, Punctuation

No spelling mistakes or grammatical errors.

Headline
The headline is clear and short.

19.5/20

I believe a 19.5/20 is a fair grade because the obituary includes all the necessary
information and is in clear chronological order. Moreover, it’s straight to the point and is
overall grammatically correct and flows well. The lead is direct and contains the 5 Ws.
However, the word count is slightly below the 250-350 range.