Dad, Will You Kill Mr. Bhatti and Go to Jail?

Have you ever been treated unfairly? Have you ever been insulted in public? Can just one
five-minute incident change your life forever?

@Age 10
I come from a family that always laid a huge emphasis on General Reading and Public
Speaking. We had more than 4000 books at home. From a very early age, my parents got
me addicted to reading all kinds of books. Also, when I was in my 5th Std., I got my first
opportunity to speak on stage. It was for the school’s annual day. My parents were really
excited. We (children) had to stage a small play based on a story of human, spirit, and tiger.
I was chosen as the narrator as I had a clear voice. Our Arts (Drawing, Dramatics, and Fine
Arts) teacher Mr. Satinder Bhatti prepared us for 2 weeks.

At about 40, Mr. Bhatti, a tall and slender man, had a perfect dressing style (looked quite
like Navjot Singh Sidhu). He was a perfectionist. He used to lose his temper even while
dealing with ten year old children, who didn’t even know what performing on stage
actually meant. Many students had been a victim of his slapping in the past. He put us
through a grinding two-week practice. He relented only when he was doubly sure that
there would be no mistakes on stage.

Finally the day arrived—the day I won’t forget all my life. We all reached backstage and
were anxiously waiting for our performance. I tried to peek at the audience of more than
500 people from behind the stage. It looked jam-packed with people—parents, teachers,
the school principal, and the chief guest.

If you had been sitting in the audience, you would have witnessed something that you
would have never forgotten all your life. At our turn, the compère announced: “Please
welcome 5th C with their brilliant play.” The audience gave us kids a huge round of
applause. As the narrator, I had to start.

I started: “Good afternoon to all of you.” Just at this very moment, there was a sound of an
electrical fault: I heard a ‘booommm’ sound and saw some sparks on the background wall.
Suddenly my mind was off the script. I blanked out. Completely! The entire auditorium
went “SHHHHHHH!!!” And then the crowd went into a whispering mode.

Mr. Bhatti came up on stage, looked down at me with threatening gestures and blurted:

“SPEAK!!!”
Suddenly he snatched the mike from my hand and told the audience:

“I apologize for this. We will start in just a bit.”

He started shouting:

“SPEAK!!!! What are you waiting for?”

When I couldn’t recollect my lines, he said:

“It is useless to teach you. You can’t remember even four lines. My dog is better than you.
He can learn in one shot.”

Suddenly, in front of 500+ people, he went into an overdrive of abuses in Hindi and Punjabi.
I looked up, staring at him in disbelief.

Again he went:

“Kya, ghoor kya raha hai?” (“What are you staring at?”)

SLAPPPPPPPPPP!!!!

He slapped me, and pushed me so hard that I fell on the other side of the stage.

He picked me up by my collar and slapped me again.

“Never come on stage in your lifetime. Zindagi mein bhool se bhi kabhi apna muh mat
kholna.” (“Even by mistake, don’t open your mouth ever again in your entire lifetime.”)

***

I had failed in my first-ever public appearance—in front of 500+ students, parents,

teachers, and the chief guest. But to me, failure didn’t mean anything. What got to me
was the insult. He had insulted me in front of 500+ people.

I was ANGRY! And I was HURT!

The insult was so intense that all I wanted to do was prove Mr. Bhatti wrong. But
strangely I was torn between two absolutely conflicting emotions: the intense desire to
speak on stage again versus the fear of failing again. From time to time, the desire to
 prove Mr. Bhatti wrong still kept simmering within but the FEAR kept on winning
every single time.

As they say, “everything happens for a reason” and “you can connect the dots only
looking backwards”. Today I feel extremely fortunate to have experienced such an
incident early in life.

Mr. Bhatti left the stage without saying anything. As he left, my father went up to the
principal furiously and shouted:

“Mujhe Bhatti chahiye!!! Abhi!!! Main uska sar fod doonga!!! Bhale hi mujhe jail kyon na ho
jaaye!!!” (“I want Bhatti. Right Now! I will break his head. I don’t care even if I have to go to
jail.”)

The principal went up on stage and apologized for the unfortunate incident. The event was
called off.

******

I ran up to my parents and all I kept on saying was: “I won’t ever come to school. Teachers
are really bad people.”

My exams were approaching. With great reluctance, I wrote the exams. Dad believed that I
needed to divert my attention. After the exams, once summer vacations started, just to
distract me Dad took me to the movies / superstores / libraries etc. He asked me to forget it
all. I would promise: “YES. I won’t ever talk about it.” And after 10 minutes, I would again
ask him innocently: “Dad, will you really kill Mr. Bhatti and go to jail?”

My parents thought that this phase would pass and that I would soon forget all about the
incident. But I was clear: “I won’t go to school, no matter what!”

During the summer vacation, Dad developed in me the habit of Reading to obsessional
levels. Every evening he would tell me the book I was supposed to read the next day, give
me the summary of the book beforehand, and pique my curiosity to the level that I couldn’t
wait to get started with the book.

Each day, I would read the book that Dad had asked me to, and, when he would arrive in
the evening, he would give me more wisdom about the same book. He would fill in all the
learning gaps and suggest the next book. The entire summer vacation was spent like this.
One thing that no other person could have taught me: the ability to connect the dots. I
will give you one example to explain how he gave me this ability. Initially just to divert my
attention, Dad took me to some movies, superstores, and libraries. During one such visit to
a Superstore, he picked up a Nestlé chocolate and this is how the conversation went:

Dad: “What is this?”

Me: “A chocolate.”
Dad: “Tell me more.”
Me: “Nestlé is quite yummy. My favorite.”
Dad: “MORE!”
Me: “I don’t know.”
Dad: “Read the wrapper fully. What do you find?”
Me: ……
Dad: “I asked you something.”
Me: ……
Dad: “Which country is it from?”
Me: “I am not sure.”
Dad: “It is given on the wrapper?”
Me: “Oh yes! Switzerland.”
Dad: “What do you know about Switzerland?”
Me: “Ya! You told me that Silsila (the movie that we had watched a few days ago) was shot
there.”
Dad: “What else do you know about it?”
Me: “NOTHING!”
Dad: “Where is Switzerland?”
Me: “I don’t know.”
Dad: “It is in Western Europe.”
Me: “OK!”
Dad: “I expect a question.”
Me: “What question?”
Dad: “I said, ‘Western Europe.’”
Me: “So?”
Dad: “If I say ‘Western Europe’, how is it possible that the question ‘Western!? So there must
be something called Eastern Europe, otherwise why give it the name ‘Western’? not come to
your mind? Where is your focus?”
Me: “I never thought of it.”
Dad: “There is a big division in the world these days because of this. You have to know this.”
Me: “OK!”
Dad: “This is not a physical division but an ideological division. The world is ideologically
divided into two parts.”
Me: “What is ideological?”
Dad: “Based on belief, thought, idea. Not based on borders. The world calls it the Cold War.”
Me: “So who are the two sides here?”

After this, Dad gave me the most fascinating account of the entire ‘World History’ of the
last 70 years (from 1914 to 1984), WW-I, WW-II, The League Of Nations, The Treaty of
Versailles, Hitler’s rise to power, The Bipolar World, The Division of Germany, The Berlin
Wall, The Cold War, The Formation of UN, Communism, Capitalism, The Russian
Revolution, The Formation of China & Taiwan, The Formation of Israel, Arab-Israeli
conflict, the Iron Curtain, The Suez Crisis, The Hungarian Revolution, the Cuban Missile
Crisis, the Afghanistan Crisis, the Arms Race, The Yom-Kippur War, The Oil Shocks of 1973
and 1979, OPEC and its role … PLUS … at least a hundred more such stories.

Can any teacher in the world connect a Nestlé wrapper to such a fascinating account of
World History?

On another day, he picked up a Coca Cola bottle (it used to be an imported product then),
he asked me similar questions.

Dad: “What is this?”

Me: “Coca Cola! Should I read the bottle fully?”
Dad: “Ya!”
Me: “Atlanta, GA. What’s GA?”
Dad: “It is Georgia.”
Me: “Oh! The country near Russia you told me about?”
Dad: “No! This Georgia is different.”
Me: “You mean there are two Georgias?”
Dad: “YES! This one is in the US.”
Me: “How can two places have the same name? If I say, I am going to Georgia, how will you
know which one?”
Dad: (big grin on his face) “You have a lot to learn. OK! What else do you know about Coca
Cola?”
Me: “It is good but thoda teekha hota hai.”
Dad: “I mean The Coca Cola Company.”
Me: “I wonder what they put in this drink.”
Dad: “It is the biggest brand in the world.”
Me: “What is a brand?”
Dad: “OK! If I ask you about butter, what comes to your mind?”
Me: “Amul.”
Dad: “Exactly! So Amul is a brand. It is a big brand because it comes to your mind first when
you think of butter.”
Me: “So, ‘brand’ means ‘famous’?”
Dad: Not exactly! But, in a way, you can say so.”
Me: “So Coca Cola is so famous?”
Dad: “Yes! It is sold in more than 100 countries around the world, and the symbol of ‘Coca
Cola’ is the most recognized word in the English Language. Even when Russia and America
are enemies, Coca Cola is sold inside the Russian Parliament. That’s why the Coca Cola logo
is considered the symbol of the victory of capitalism around the world.”
Me: “REALLY! How did it become so big?”
Dad: “The power of Positioning.”
Me: “Means!”

Then Dad gave me the entire history of Coca Cola’s success. How a small pharmaceutical
brand (started in 1886) that used to contain cocaine earlier went on to become a massive
brand fascinated me no end. He told three things that amuse me even till date:

1. The fact that the design of the Coca Cola bottle was inspired by a woman’s skirt (the
‘hobble-skirt’ design)
2. The fact that there is nothing secret about the Coke formula but the company has
always publicized it as such. It says that Coca Cola has a secret magic formula that is
hidden in two parts of Trust Bank’s locker in the US. The two top executives of the
company know only half the formula each. That’s why they don’t travel together on
the same plane (this is a myth created by the company); if the plane were to crash,
the formula would die with them.
3. The fact about how Coca Cola was made the official free drink of all American
soldiers during the Second World War, an action that resulted in making the
company truly global. It had to open bottling plants wherever American army went,
especially all over Europe, automatically making the brand truly global. He also told
me about how American soldiers (who were the winners of the war) got a celebrity
status in the US in the 1940s. Since the soldiers drank Coke (because they had been
addicted to this “free” drink) and the people in the US wanted to emulate their war
heroes, they also started drinking Coca Cola as a symbol of victory. This is how
sugared water was positioned to become the number one brand in the world.

Dad used to tell me dozens of such stories every day.

*************
Once July approached, my parents raised the issue of school again. And I threw the same
lines: “No school! No teachers! “Even if you kill me, I won’t go to school.”

My parents took me to an educational counselor. He said: “Don’t force him. The wound is
quite fresh in in his mind. Let him take his own sweet time. For the time being, enroll him in
a school where attendance is not compulsory. Take it slow. In six months, he should be
fine.”

Finally, my parents enrolled me in a school that didn’t bother about attendance. This step
was met with the most vehement opposition from all our relatives, neighbors, society,
community, parents’ colleagues, extended family—everyone. I remember my Dad’s elder
brother (my Tau-Ji) coming to our place and shouting:

“Prakash (Dad’s name), tu paagal to nahi ho gaya hai? Ladke ne bola ki voh school nahi
jaayegaa aur toone maan liya? Arre, jab bada hokar iske saare dost aage nikal jaayenge aur
yeh peechhe reh jaayega, tab tujhe samajh mein aayega. Isko kaun naukri dega? Arre,
bachchon ko to teachers maarte hi rehte hain. Is chakkar mein koi school jaana thodi chhod
deta hai? Aise bhavnaon mein beh kar kaam mat lo. Zindagi bhar pachhtaoge tum log.”

[“Prakash, have you gone mad? The boy said that he wouldn’t go to the school and
you agreed? You will understand when, upon growing up, he will lag behind all his
friends. Who will give him a job? Anyway, it is not unusual for kids to be beaten and
bullied by their teachers. Does one leave school for that reason? Don’t act so
emotionally. All of you will repent for a lifetime.”]

My family heard the same lines from hundreds of people.

Dad’s standard response was: “He is still going to school. Just that there is no compulsory
attendance. I can teach him. Krishna (my mother) can teach him. We will get a tutor at
home. Anyway, after six months, he will start going to the school again. Where is the
problem?”

Dad was a forward-thinking person. He didn’t believe that conventional education (school,
college, job etc.) was the only route to success in life. He believed in the power of
knowledge and skills, not necessarily degrees. One day, during a discussion, he showed me
two quotes from Vivekananda:
 “Take up one idea. Make that one idea your life—think of it, dream of it, and live that
idea. Let the brain, muscles, nerves, and every part of your body be full of that idea
and just leave every other idea alone. Consult your heart, not others, and then follow
its dictates. Let it be so great, so strong, that there may be nothing else left in the
mind; no place for anything else, no time for anything else. Whenever we attain a
higher vision, the lower vision disappears of itself. This is the way to success.”

This quote sums up passion, focus, perseverance, excellence, vision, mission,

purpose, and boldness.

“Each great work has to pass through three stages—ridicule, opposition, and then
acceptance. Those who think ahead of their time are sure to be misunderstood. Have
you got the will to surmount mountain-high obstructions? If the whole world stands
against you—sword in hand—would you still dare to do what you think is right?”

This quote sums up REBELLION and fearlessness—the readiness to change the

world.

As an example for the second quote, he told me the story of Raja Ram Mohan Roy. He asked
me: “When that man (more than 150 years ago) could stand against the entire world for
championing causes as rebellious as abolition of the Sati system, idol worship, child
marriage, caste-system etc., why can’t you do exactly what your heart says is correct?”

Nothing could have been more coincidental. Earlier in the same year, Apple had unveiled its
most historic campaign: the Macintosh. Dad showed me a recent issue of The Economist
with the cover having pictures of Bill Gates and Steve Jobs. It read: “Will dropouts rule this
world?”

He told me their stories in detail. Finally I was convinced that formal education had nothing
to do with high-stakes success in life. Dad gave me a success formula to evaluate whatever I
was to do in life later:
Passion: Are you insanely passionate about your work? Are you able to transmit your
passion and positive energy to others?

Impact: Are you impacting people, lives, careers, businesses etc. in a big way? Are you
creating immense value for other people? Are you impacting lives, careers, businesses,
relationships directly?

Excellence: Are you the “best-in-their-world” at what you do?

Money: Do you make satisfactory money?

AND, finally, do you exist at the intersection of all the four circles? The answer is a
thumping ‘NO’ for almost all of us. Imagine what the world could be if the answer to all the
questions above could be a huge ‘YES!’

****

All this while, a personal tutor taught me all the school subjects at home. Apparently, I
topped the school in the annual exam of 6th Std. My parents didn’t insist that I should
attend school or that I should change my school.

I didn’t go to school till my XII; I was still the school topper for all the seven years (VI to
XII).
I loved the fact that I didn’t have to go to school. I had enough time to just dig myself into
books and read for hours on end. Practical success lessons from the most successful people
in the world were handed out to me in the form of absolutely fascinating stories. ON A
PLATTER! And thus started my life’s biggest love-affair—an affair with books—that
continues unabated till date.

BUT, there was a problem. Throughout my school years, I couldn’t talk to anyone. Every
time I tried to talk to people, Mr. Bhatti’s words kept coming back to my mind. “Zindagi
mein bhool se bhi kabhi apna muh mat kholna.” (“Even by mistake, don’t open your mouth
ever again in your entire lifetime.”)

****

At the age of 17, I joined Engineering, the most popular choice of education in Indian
middle-class families. My success in the Engineering Entrance Test gave me a lot of self-
confidence. Gradually I also started communicating really effectively. Though public
speaking still scared me to my bones because of the Bhatti incident, but I got a lot better at
interpersonal (one-to-one) communication. To polish my interpersonal communication
skills even further, I picked up many part-time jobs throughout the four years that I spent
at college. My self-confidence skyrocketed.

I did really well in college, and because of my excellent communication skills, I could clear
the toughest job interview on campus. It felt magical! After all, at the age of 21, I had landed
the most coveted MNC placement on campus. It was the job that most people could only
dream of.

***********
In my final year of Engineering, I wrote the CAT and made it to IIMA. I thought this would
be an end to my roller-coaster life. But it wasn’t to be. Life had extremely exciting plans
in store for me.

In the first week itself, I was disenchanted with everything at IIMA – a place where not an
iota of real entrepreneurship was ever talked about. I wanted to run away.

Something inside me wanted to revolt. People told me that this was the stupidest idea that
they had ever heard in their lives. I persisted amidst the cacophony of dissenting voices
from friends, peers, seniors, faculty, administration—everyone.

I learnt one important lesson that day: The biggest battle in the world is the battle inside
your own mind when you have to take a really BOLD decision.
What catalyzed my decision?

• At IIMA, for one day, you could sit in any of the second-year classroom sessions and
decide your electives in advance. I sat in the ‘Entrepreneurship’ class that was
offered as an elective in the second year. It was ATROCIOUS. Imagine a professor
who had never seen the outside world (had never even worked for a company as an
employee, let alone been an entrepreneur) teaching you the theoretical concepts
about entrepreneurship! Could anything else be a worse learning experience?

• I didn’t like anything—people, peers, faculty—nothing. I hated the idea of grades.

For instance, could the guy who topped the quiz / exam in Economics actually
contribute to the Macroeconomic policy of the country better than the rest of the
class could? I had a day-long discussion with him and he admitted to knowing
nothing about the complexity of national-policy decisions. But he had the biggest tag
to back it: IIMA’s Economics topper.

• What was the point of a tag if it didn’t enable one to sell even a packet of Nirma
better than the guy who had spent some time on the field selling it? If the purpose of
life was to make mindless Spreadsheet(s) or PowerPoint(s), I didn’t want to be a
part of the bandwagon. I wanted to impact people directly.

• The quote: ‘‘Each great work has to pass through three stages—ridicule, opposition,
and then acceptance. Those who think ahead of their time are sure to be
misunderstood. Have you got the will to surmount mountain-high obstructions? If
the whole world stands against you—sword in hand—would you still dare to do
what you think is right?’’

Finally I did the unthinkable. I put up a formal application to leave the school. This was my
moment of decision. I was ecstatic that I could finally take such a bold decision.

I went back to working with the company where I had been placed.

************

The experience that I gained in the part-time jobs during the four years of Engineering
helped me a lot at my work. Because of my very sharp and acute understanding of clients
and their requirements, my managers trusted me blindly and gave me ten times the
opportunities. At the age of 22, I got some of the most coveted roles and responsibilities in
the organization.
Even MBAs from IIMs with 10-15 years of work experience didn’t get to do the work that
my managers trusted me with. In the first two years alone, I got to travel abroad on six
different occasions to interact with the top global clients directly. The exposure I got was
tremendous.

I loved my intellectual growth. Everything seemed to be going really well at work. For
almost nine years, I continued to scale newer and newer rungs on the corporate ladder.
Though I didn’t have a Management Degree, I became the youngest Management
Consultant in the history of the company. I LOVED EVERY BIT OF IT!

And then gradually, I stopped enjoying everything. I realized that I wasn’t learning
anything. I had stopped growing intellectually. The thrill and the challenge of Corporate
Life had suddenly evaporated from my existence. On most mornings, I found it difficult to
even get out of the bed. It was disgusting to be living life from paycheck to paycheck.
Something had to change. FAST!

Around the same time, one of my cousins working with IBM dragged me to a seminar
conducted in the company by an American Success Coach, Author, and Sensational Speaker
called Keith Harrell. He was so good that throughout the presentation I kept on imagining
myself on that stage addressing the audience. It was a profound moment. I felt as if my
entire life’s hidden desire, my entire life’s secret dream had been to be on that stage and
address people.

I was so blown and moved by what Keith said that I approached him and asked for his
advice to improve my life. And he spent more than an hour trying to solve my problem.
Keith’s words hit me like a rock. He had nailed my issue with a laser-sharp precision. I
suddenly knew perfectly well what precisely was wrong with my life.
I touched his hand in gratitude, thanking his profusely. Tears fell down my eyes for the
sheer selfless interest this man took to change my life. What was the need for such a world-
famous successful coach, author, and million-dollar speaker to talk to an ordinary person like
me and help me come out of my misery?

He also gave me the signed copy of his bestselling book “Attitude Is Everything” with the
message, “No matter what happens in life, stay faithful to your dreams.” I kept reading the
message Keith had written in the book.

“No matter what happens in life, stay faithful to your dreams.”

I literally couldn’t sleep for one full week. I kept on asking myself, “What is my dream?” And
the last thirty years of my life seemed like a complete waste.

• Was ‘Engineering’ my dream? NO

• Was my work my dream? NO
• Was foreign travel my dream? NO
• Was earning a lot of money my dream? NO
• Was a lot of social recognition my dream? NO

So what was my dream?

No clue!
BUT, throughout this exercise, I kept on imagining myself on the stage from which Keith
spoke.

Was this my dream?

Restless as I was, I read Keith’s book a couple of times, ordered his DVD products, and
learnt everything very sincerely. I wrote him a mail expressing my gratitude. I also asked if
he could train me to become a Speaker like him. Keith sent a detailed reply saying:

“Sandeep, I must say this is the best decision that you have ever taken in your life. If
you feel I have touched your life in some way, go and touch other people’s lives. People
need motivation, direction, and hope; they also need tools and strategies for their
emotional stability, spiritual well-being, careers, relationships, finances, and health. If
you really want to pay me back for whatever little I have done for you, go and change
other people’s lives. That will be your ultimate gift to me.

“But Sandeep you must also realize that there is a huge difference between wanting
and actually achieving your goals. If you are really serious about becoming an
International Level Speaker, you must be coached by the absolute best in the world. I
am a Speaker but not a Speaking Coach. I don’t train people to become Speakers. The
best Speaking Coach in the world is Patricia Fripp.

“She is the Speaking Coach for US Presidents, Fortune-500 CEOs, and the most
sensational Speakers throughout North America. You must contact her. She is the
absolute best. If you do it alone or get coached by some ordinary coach, the journey
towards your dream will not last long. You will soon give up in frustration. Don’t
compromise on being coached by the absolute best. She can easily shave off at least 10
years from your misery of trial, error and frustration.

I didn’t waste any time. I called Patricia Fripp’s office in the US and took a telephonic
appointment.

“Ms. Fripp, I would like to be coached by you.”

“Are you sure?”
“Yes! I have done my research, AND you are the absolute best.”
“Do you know how much I charge?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“It is a good attitude. That will be $15,000 per day.” (About Rs. 8-10 lakh per day,
depending on the dollar to rupee conversion rate)
“Oh!”
 “What is the matter, Sandeep?”
“It is too expensive, Ma’am.”
“Ya, I was coming to that. It is not just about the money. There is one more
condition. Have you done any Speaking before?”

(I shivered as I remembered the Bhatti incident. All the traumatic memories came back
to me in a flash.)

“No!”
“Well, then I can’t train you. You are not ready yet. You have to send me at least one
video of your live-speaking for me to evaluate whether you are ready or not?”
“But, Ma’am …”
“I am sorry Sandeep. I don’t train absolute beginners.”
“OK Ma’am. Thank you for your time. I will contact you when I am ready.”

I wrote back to Keith and asked for his guidance. But this time, I didn’t receive any reply.
(Later I came to know that Keith had stopped his work because he had been diagnosed with
cancer; he eventually passed away in 2010).

Patricia Fripp’s words (“You are not ready yet.”) kept on ringing in my ears. “What did she
mean by that statement? Why am I not ready yet? What do I need? What is the gap? WHY?
WHY? WHY?”

It took me more than two years to realize why she had said so.

*******

Love and Loss: one of my biggest failures.

I started feeling even more suffocated at work. Eventually I changed my job and joined
another MNC. As part of my work, the company sent me and a colleague of mine Kanika to a
client location in the US. I handled ‘content development’ and she handled ‘pitches and
presentations’. The 9-5 work culture in the US gave us a lot of free time. We stayed in the
same hotel, spent all our working time together, and, as we both were away from home and
quite lonely, we also spent almost all of our free time together. Before we could realize, we
were dating each other.
Kanika was a sensational presenter—extremely rebellious, feisty, and passionate. I truly,
truly admired her. We clicked like a house on fire. Soon it turned into an intense
relationship. We gave our 100% to both our work and our relationship. Our conversations
were always intelligent, funny, and witty. We would sit together and talk in puns for hours;
it was so much fun—so much fun—that the darker sides of our lives never surfaced.

Once she said, “Sandeep, I barely know about your childhood.”

And I told her the story of my failure on stage and the entire trauma that I had undergone
for many years.

And I just happened to say, “You can’t imagine what I went through.”

This line was the turning point.

She started crying: “Sandeep, do you have any idea what I went through in my childhood?”

“What?”

She cried and cried. I couldn’t get a word out of her for six hours. Later she revealed that
when she was 13, she had been sexually abused by some men in her own family.

This is one thing I can’t stand! No matter what!

Such people should be lynched and hanged in public.

The next few weeks were extremely traumatic.

We both had to report at work, but she was in no condition to report to work. The next day,
I pacified her, left her at the hotel, and went to work. When I came back, I found that she
had slit her wrist in three places and had to be hospitalized. For the first time, I saw so
much blood—white bed-sheet completely bloodstained. I reached the hospital and found
that she had gone into acute depression.

You would have heard the doctor say: “Sandeep, this is a vital blow. She ain’t getting fine
soon.”

I was devastated. I really cursed myself for never tapping into her world.

How could I not know about this basic fact about the person I was dating and was so
intimately in love with?
For a few days, I couldn’t sleep even a wink. After a couple of days, when she regained her
senses, she told me that she had always been receiving psychiatric treatment, had had a
history of chronic drug (substance) abuse, and had a very tough relationship with her
family.

I felt truly helpless. Nothing worked for about 20 days. She was under acute depression.

In Kanika’s absence from work, I had to make the final presentation to the client. AND, I
failed monumentally. The company lost the client in that very moment. My presentation
was so bad that the manager of our North America operations insulted me by saying,
“Sandeep, I would have paid you hundred dollars for each word you had not spoken.”

This was my first-ever failure at work in a decade-long career. For 10 years (from 21-30), I
had been an absolute rockstar success at work. But, when I failed, I failed so spectacularly.
And to add fuel to fire, I had failed even more miserably in my personal life just a few days
ago. It was as difficult as juggling chainsaws while walking a tightrope.

Kanika didn’t show any improvement. She would go violent anytime. And her violent
phases were extremely ugly. So much so that she could pick up a knife and kill herself or
anyone in front of her. Traveling back home wasn’t possible in such a state.

I couldn’t sleep much, and on one such sleepless night, as I was flipping TV channels
aimlessly, something caught my attention and totally spellbound me. It was an infomercial
by Tony Robbins (the most successful Speaker in the world). Tony was famous for curing
even the most acute depression in just thirty minutes. This caught my fancy. I thought this
could be the best hope for an otherwise miserable life. He was going to do his next event
“UPW (Unleash the Power Within), Mastery University” in Florida after seven days.

So if you had been with me, you would have been sitting in the front row (reserved for the
victims and their attendants) at the Orange County Convention Center in Florida.

Tony’s Event: It is nothing like you have ever experienced in your life. You come in, and
you find dozens of dancers dancing on the stage, and 5,000 people cheering, whooping and
dancing along with the dancers.

I walk into the room thinking, “Oh NO! I am not doing that kind of stuff. I know I am in the
wrong place. This is not going to work.” Everyone around us was dancing madly. Looking at
all this, Kanika shrank down and went into her shell even further. She kept asking me,
“Why have you got me here?” And I seemed to have no answer.
****

Tony Robbins comes on stage. He is brilliant. He is larger than life—hugely well-built, six
feet seven inches tall, known as the big guy with the bigger teeth, and a supremely
imposing and commanding figure.

Thirty minutes into the session he says: “I am looking for someone who is depressed.”

So I put up Kanika’s hand.

Picture the scene. Five thousand people in the room. Giant screens on either side; dozens of
giant screens all around the hall; cameras on the stage; and we are sitting in the front row.
And as luck would have it, he chose her to cure her depression, one on one. These one-on-
one sessions are called Tony’s “interventions”.

Robbins asks: “OK! So, you are depressed? Hmmm! Tell me about it.”

And I am thinking, “Tony, this is not a very good question.”

I thought: If she starts talking about her depression, she will focus on it, she will
think about her bad past, and she will get more and more depressed. I didn’t know
that Tony uses a strategy called “breaking-the-pattern”. If you have been sad, he
would ask you about the time when you were happy. If you are suffering from a
disease, he would ask the time when you felt the healthiest in your life.

With Tony’s back-and-forth questioning for about ten minutes, I see Kanika going back into
her depressed mood fully. She is rocking backwards and forwards on the chair in the fetal
position, she is crying, and she is becoming more and more withdrawn inside, every single
minute.

I suddenly notice a camera on the stage pointing directly on us, and I realize that the entire
audience can see this whole thing developing. I am looking at the screens and, I am
thinking: “Great Sandeep! You just magnified the problem by getting her here.”
As she is in the middle of this depression, rocking backwards and forwards, Tony says,

“Can I ask you another question?”

“Umm”
“Have you ever had an explosive orgasm?”
And she goes from depressed to “HAAANNN???!!!”

That’s a change of state. She goes from depression to a different state that is not
depression any more.

“No, I am just curious. Have you had an explosive orgasm?”

She says, “I can’t tell you that.”
Tony: “But you just told these 5,000 people about this depressing episode. Why can’t you
tell us about the joyous one?”

FUCK! That’s a good question.

He says, “So, can you do it now?”

“What do you mean, can you do it now?”
Well, you did the depression episode now. Can you do the orgasm episode now?”
She says, “I can’t do that.”

Tony turns to the audience to get their social proof. “Ladies and gentlemen, can she do it
now? Yes or No?”

5000 people go, “YAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY”, clapping really hard.

So with all the encouragement from 5000 people, she gets into this Meg Ryan’s orgasm
scene from the movie When Harry Met Sally. Tony is really good at eliciting a state at the
same time. He is matching and mirroring her breathing pattern. He says:

“Go back in your mind. See what you saw. Feel the way you felt. That’s it. Very good!” Feel it
completely. Feel it in every cell of your body.”

It is impossible to believe but the entire orgasmic experience starts to build up inside her.
The crowd is cheering and whooping. As it is building up more and more inside her, she is
getting red in the face. She is making the noises, screaming really hard, moaning and
groaning. She is going mad with excitement. And I saw myself standing in the video on this
giant screen. It felt quite embarrassing. The intervention went on for another 15 minutes. It
was the most unbelievable thing I had ever seen.
In just 30 minutes, tony cured her depression completely and permanently.

***

I remember people coming to Tony’s seminar from the UK, South Africa, Australia, India,
Spain, and almost all other parts of the world. And I went into a self-talk mode.

“Wow man, this is amazing. This is sensational. This is huge. This is incredible. BUT
how come no one knows about it in India? What a shame all these people have to
come all the way to the U.S. to get this! Why isn’t something like this more readily
available everywhere in the world? Why do only a few people get this man’s help
and others are administered drugs by psychiatrists?”

A little voice whispered inside me: “Maybe that’s why you are here. Maybe this is
what YOU are meant to do in India. MAYBE! Maybe this is why Patricia Fripp had
said ‘you aren’t ready yet.’ Maybe life was conspiring to get me to come in contact
with Tony Robbins before I were to become a Speaker myself.”

Have you been to a seminar and thought the same thing? Have you ever wondered what it
feels like being a Speaker? Have you ever thought that you have some knowledge or skills that
you might be able to share with others? I suddenly felt a sense of the most intense drive and a
mission inside me. I wanted to be like Tony Robbins. I wanted to be like that guy on the stage. I
wanted to be out there. I wanted to serve thousands of people.

At the same time, a loud voice screamed inside me: “Who the bloody hell do you
think you are? Be realistic, man! You can’t be like him. Look at him, and look at you.
His teeth are bigger than you. Forget it. Just forget it.”

***

We came back from the event and Kanika started getting back to being normal again. It
seemed that her life was no longer dictated by her past. She seemed to be totally fine. Tony
had definitely changed her life. Finally, in just a few days, I saw my partner springing back
to the feisty Kanika I had known. It was as if every bad experience had been deleted from
her memory. My relationship with the love of my life blossomed again. She didn’t have to
resort to drugs or visit a psychiatrist again. Her relationship with her family also became
totally normal.

We both carried on with our project and had to stay back in the US for another six months.
*****

A few months later, we were supposed to attend Tony’s follow-up event called Date with
Destiny. This time it was in Hilton Head Island in South Carolina. It was a great event. On
the last day of the event, Tony asked us to do an exercise. He asked us to pair up with a
stranger.

The idea was to get together with one complete stranger, sit cross-legged, and look directly
into his or her eyes, and send all your presence, love, warmth, and connection for three
minutes to this person. I tried to find a partner but no one seemed to want to partner with
me. I looked in their direction and I saw people looking away from me.

Everyone except me had a partner. The only person who didn’t have a partner was Tony
Robbins. And Tony always says, “There is no failure, only feedback.” And the feedback I
took from this failure was: “These people aren’t meant to be my partner. I will go and
partner with Tony Robbins himself.” There were at least 20 security guards throughout the
room. Their job is to stop ‘idiots’ like me from approaching Tony directly.

I walked towards the stage. I found one guard talking on his walkie-talkie and a bit
distracted. Since I was the only one moving in the isle waving to Tony, I got his attention,
and I gestured to him. I waved to him hinting: “Would you be my partner?” He remembered
that I was the partner of the person he had helped. To my great surprise, he agreed and
called me up on stage.

In that moment, I got to have 3 minutes of intimacy with Tony Robbins that changed
my life completely.

I felt so much gratitude towards him for bringing my partner back to her feisty self in a
matter of just half an hour. I couldn’t help but think about his skill, his dedication, and his
marketing prowess. His marketing message had the power to get me to fly to that room and
to change my and my partner’s lives.

I thought: “look at the positive impact you can have by being a Speaker. You can change so
many lives. I am also extremely driven to change people’s lives. Even if I can change one
life, it will be worth the effort.” In that moment I felt consumed by a million emotions. I
realized that I wasn’t there just for her but also for myself.

I was crying. Tears welled up in my eyes and somehow my tears connected back to Tony—
and he was crying too!
It was a moment I will never ever forget. Again and again, I felt that I couldn’t have been
with Tony in that room without any larger purpose. There must have been some ‘hidden’
purpose that the Universe had planned. It felt that all of my life’s events had conspired to
bring me in that room.

And in that moment I made that life-changing decision.

I had to be a Speaker. I had to do it. I had to find a way. There was absolutely no other
option. I had found my life’s mission, my life’s purpose. In that moment, I felt that I was
truly ready. “Are you listening, Ms. Patricia Fripp?”

I have always been indebted to the most impactful person I have ever met in my life: TONY
ROBBINS.

Kanika was also excited about my new decision. She really encouraged me to become a
Speaker. She truly believed that I had the potential to change thousands of lives.

This was February 2006. I made a short visit to India and shared my dream with Dad. He
too was extremely overjoyed. Like Keith Harrell and Kanika, Dad also encouraged me to
help other people, change lives, and make a huge difference.

That very day, I quit my job, and, in the next 12 months, I learnt all the nuances of Public
Speaking on big stages from sixteen best Speakers / Speaking Coaches in the world.

PASSION and focus: the key determinants of your success.

When I decided to master this skill, I bought more than 75 products (DVDs, CDs, Internet
Based Video Products, specialized books and copyrighted workbooks), watched 1000+
hours of videos, and attended 54 different LIVE Seminars / Webinars from dozens and
dozens of International Experts.

And thus started my 180-days of PURE LUST (yes, it was an obsessive involvement) – I
spent close to 16 hours each day watching (or listening to) each of the programs, making
notes, practicing, recording myself, reviewing my tapes, and finessing my skills. I spent
more than 2500 hours trying to master this skill. My madness reached such a level that
even brushing my teeth, bathing, eating, or sleeping seemed like an absolute waste of time.
Call it a dopamine- or an adrenaline rush, or what you will, but a full-blown orgasm
wouldn’t feel even one-tenth as orgasmic. I enjoyed the process so much that, 24*7, I
visualized myself on that stage. The whole world had ceased to matter. I didn’t speak to
virtually anyone for months! I could kill to speak on that stage! I wrote the following words
on the wall beside my bed and read each word aloud every morning, visualizing my
upcoming live-stage performance as I read each word:

• Energized
• Superb
• Gorgeous
• Raring
• Smashing
• Unstoppable
• Turbocharged
• Ecstatic
• Impassioned
• Fabulous
• Ballistic
• Tremendous
• Awesome
• Excellent
• Dynamite
• Magical
• Vibrant
• Exuberant
• Killer
• Incredible
• Phenomenal
• Jazzed
• Stoked
• Laser-like
• Enthralled
• Enraptured
• Compelled
• Driven
• Spectacular
• Extraordinary
• Monumental
• Invincible
• Soaring
• Explosive
• Brilliant
• Booming
• Insanely great
• Over the moon
• Doesn’t get any better
• Cosmically charged
I used to check my phone only once a day for less than 2 minutes (for the rest of the day, I
kept the phone in my car).

I learnt all the nuances of Public Speaking on big stages from sixteen best Professional
Speakers / Professional Speaking Coaches in the world:

1. Patricia Fripp
2. Darren Lacroix
3. Roger Love
4. Les Brown
5. Bo Eason
6. Mark Brown
7. Ed Tate
8. Jim Key
9. Brian Tracy
10. Jim Rohn
11. Craig Valentine
12. Andy Harrington
13. Brendon Burchard
14. T. Harv Eker
15. Bob Proctor
16. Tony Robbins – the man himself

In additional to mastering the Art and Science of Public Speaking, I also learnt the art of
Branding, Positioning, Storytelling, Conversational Hypnosis, Mentalism, NLP, Persuasion,
Seduction, and Influence techniques from the absolute best of the best experts in the world.

I realized that a right coach can compress decades into days. On my own, I wouldn’t have
learnt any of these things in my entire lifetime. For example, in just 3 minutes flat, a Public
Speaking Coach in California corrected what I had done wrongly for 10 full years. Such is
the power of world-class coaches.

Using all these tools, techniques, and strategies, I achieved success beyond my wildest
dreams. Now I was totally convinced that whatever I had learnt would actually work for
others too. I was ready to help other people.

Over the last 12 years (2007 onwards), I have changed more than 2 Lakh lives in my LIVE
seminars and helped many more through my Video products.
I have helped people become:

• Dollar-millionaires (Rs. 6 crores in just one year)

• Startup Entrepreneurs
• Thought Entrepreneurs
• Authors
• Professional Speakers
• Change Agents

I have saved people from / pulled people out of:

• Committing suicide
• Being clinically depressed
• Living an unfulfilled and unfulfilling life
• Being stuck in the wrong job
• Being stuck in bad relationships

Helping others has indeed been a very, very, very fulfilling experience (though not
without some truly unbearable and extremely painful personal loss).

Kanika died in a road accident in 2008.

I always wonder – how elated would Kanika have felt if she had witnessed me truly
changing more than 2 lakh people’s lives directly!

But despite the personal loss, I must say that my mission to serve other people, change
their lives, and make a huge difference has only become stronger and stronger, every single
day.

This is a chain reaction. I am on a mission to change the world. I became a Speaker because
of some great people I came in contact with (Keith Harrell and Tony Robbins). Now I am
helping others transform their lives.