CHARACTERS

12th Night

Orsino- A duke, loves Olivia

Viola- Girl pretending to be a boy named Cesario

Sebastian- Viola’s twin brother (they look alike)

Lady Olivia- Loves Cesario (that’s Viola, Confused yet?)

Sir Toby Belch- Uncle to Olivia

Maria- Olivia’s Lady in waiting

Malvolio- Olivia’s servant

Fabian- Olivia’s servant

Antonio- Sebastian’s Friend

Valentine- Orsino’s servant

Curio- Orsino’s other servant

Sea Captain- a sea captain

Priest- Marries people in record breaking time

Policeman 1 & 2- Catches the bad guys

Servant- One line only, make it big!

Narrators- In charge of clarification, some are smart and some not so much
Narration 1: No he isn’t

Three narrator are waiting for something to start 2: He’s from Swindon!

Orsino: If music be the food of love, play on…………… 3: (slightly hurt) Same thing!

1,2 and 3 look at him blank, pause and then go back to what they are doing Orsino: Actually I am speaking in English, I am performing from the works of our
greatest ever writer
Orsino: (louder) If music be the food of love, play on ……..
1: Justin Bieber?
1: Is he talking to us?
2: Simon Cowell?
2: Dunno
3: JK Rowling?
3: Ignore him, maybe he will go away
Orsino: Actually it’s William Shakespeare
They go back to what they are doing
1: Who?
Orsino: One face, one voice, one habit!!!
Orsino: Oh come on, you can’t be that silly!
1: What language is he talking?
2: pointing at 1 She is
2: It ain’t English
1: Hey!
3: Nah he don’t talk proper like what we do
Orsino: William Shakespeare is this country’s most famous playwright and during
Orsino: Excuse me I am trying to perform
his life he wrote 37 plays
1: Mocking him Oh are you don’t! 2 and 3 giggle and take the mickey as well
3: Blimey
2: Who you performing for?
Orsino: And he invented words and phrases we use every day
Orsino: Pointing to the audience Well all of them of course
2: Such as?
1,2,3: Oooooh! Alright!
Orsino: As luck would have it… in know a few, ha…um…. All’s well that ends well,
1: So what is it that you’re performing then? good riddance, in a pickle, love is blind…

2: Is it French? 3: So why are you here then?

3: Nah sounded more like Swahili or something, are they Swahili? My uncles from Orsino: Well we have been asked to perform some Shakespeare for these lovely
Swahili people
1: That can’t be (find out a teachers name) he/she isn’t lovely With her, twin Sebastian
They got shipwrecked right!
2: Ssssshhhhh they are right there!
Then there’s Duke Orsino
3: So what Shakespeare you doing
Who loves, Olivia
Orsino: Twelfth night! But she doesn’t want him
Yeah she thinks he is bizarre!
1: I’ve heard of that
Shakespeare cool, real trendy
Orsino: Really, what do you know? Sit back
2: Is it the one with the twins? Oh yeah, yeah,yeah

3: And the shipwreck? 12th Night

Will-iam Shake-peare
Orsino: Yes that’s right, but let’s not talk too much about it or you will spoil the 12th Night
story Wrote this script
12th Night
1: So what happens? Make sure your listening
12th
2: Yeah I’m excited, I want to know what happens
It will go quick
1: Let’s sneak backstage and watch from there, enjoy the show guys and we will 12th Night
see you soon……… Hope your ready
12th Night
Song Just sit back
This is the start of 12th Night, 12th Night
This is the start of 12th Night, Have a good time yeah cause here’s where it’s at!
This is the start of 12th Night,
(12th Night 12th Night) Shakespeare cool, real trendy
This is the start of 12th Night, Sit back
12th Night Oh yeah, yeah,yeah
This is the start,start,start, start, start of 12th Night
12th Night This is the start of 12th Night,
12th Night This is the start of 12th Night,
12th Night This is the start of 12th Night,
(12th Night 12th Night)
We’ve got, Ce-sa-ri-o This is the start of 12th Night,
Who is, Viola
 12th Night Captain- Yes but he is in love with the fair Olivia
This is the start,start,start, start, start of 12th Night
Of 12th Night Viola- Hey! I’m going to disguise myself like a man and serve this duke, he’ll like
(can we get on with the story now?) me because I’m a really good singer ‘I came in like a wrecking ball, mumble
12th Night mumble’

Sailors- Groan

Captain- Whoa whoa whoa whoa! Stop! Do me a favour, don’t sing… just stick to
Act 1 scene 1
the disguise thing, trust me.
Viola- What a terrible shipwreck!!!

Sailor- That was awful!!! Is everyone ok?

Act 1 scene 2
Viola- Oh my poor-
Orsino if music be the food of love play on
Sailors- Groan
Curio- What would make you feel better my lord Orsino?
Viola- Oh my poor-
Orsino- the most beautiful lady in the land, Oh, Olivia! Why won’t you notice me?
Sailors- Groan Why?! How now, what news from her?

Viola- Oh my poor- Valentine- Sorry! Olivia’s brother just died, and she’s so upset that she has
decided to hide away and cry for the next seven years.
Sailors- Groan
Orsino- Seven years? Are you sure you don’t mean seven days or maybe even
Viola- WILL YOU BE QUIET!!! seven months?
Sailor- Sorry!

Viola- Oh my poor twin brother Sebastian may have drowned, Captain, do you Song
think there’s any chance he made it?
Orsino
Captain- Could be Viola, let’s stay optimistic
I love her!
Viola- Where are we?
Valentine
Captain- This is Illyria my Lady, ruled by the noble Duke Orsino.
No
Viola- I remember hearing he was single… and cute!
Orsino
 I really, really, really, really love her! 5 That wasn’t a sneeze, it’s the name of the island…and viola thinks her
brother is drowned
Valentine
4 Ahhhh that’s so sad
No
5 O.k.
Orsino
4 Her brothers gone, this is too much, poor Viola bursts into tears….
I really, really, really, really, really, really, really love her! Honest I do!
5 So Viola think the best way to survive in this enemy land is to dress like a
Valentine
man call herself Cesario and get a job as a servant for the duke Orsino!!!
No Now Orsino is love sick for the beautiful countess Olivia.

Orsino- please! Olivia Pings out

Valentine 4 Olivia doesn’t want to deal with any men since she is mourning for her
brother who recently died
No
5 What? Really? This is too much, it’s almost as if her situation parallels
Orsino Viola. Sobs
Please! 4 Yes… well… you couldn’t write it could you
Valentine

No. no, no, no, no ,no! Act 1 scene 3

Valentine- Nope! Seven years! Toby- Maria, what is with my niece Olivia? She is taking this ‘mourning’ thing
waaaaaay too seriously! Being so sad all the time is not good for your health
Orsiino- Seriously! Wow! You have to admire that kind of dedication! I think I
burp
love her even more!
Maria- Gross, stop belching Sir Toby Belch

Andrew- He can’t help it if that’s his name, Sir Toby Belch!

Narration
Toby- that’s right Sir Andrew!
4 What is going on? This story is more complicated than EastEnders…
Maria- Whatever, look you two, why don’t you just get on with your night of
5 So viola and a group of sailors wash up on the shore of Illyria
silliness? I have better things to do!
4 Bless you
Andrew- Since you niece Olivia is being such a grumpy fun sponge I’m off! I’ll ride 6 What! Where is this girl, she must be well fit
home tomorrow!
7 Will you stop it!
Toby- Porquoi my dear knight?
Val Cesario!
Andrew- What do you mean Porquoi?
7 Look there coming now, hide hear…
Toby- Poor-kwah means ‘why’ in French, make me sound smart don’t it?
Valentine- Cesario!
Andrew- I should have paid more attention at school, listened to my teachers,
Viola- Hi coughs Hi (low voice)
treated them with the respect they deserve! Love them, cherished them and
honoured them!!!! Valentine- Listen, the Duke Orsino thinks you’re really cool!
Toby- Alright, we get it! Listen Sir Andrew, Please stay! Olivia could snap out of it Viola- Really! I thank you, here comes the count now.
and who know, she might actually think you’re… cute.
Orsino- Cesario! Go and tell Olivia how much I like her, No! Love her… be not
Andrew- Really? Oh all right, I will stay a month longer, but let’s go dancing! I’m a denied access, stand at her doors and stay there until she talks to you
really good dancer!!!
Viola- Orsino, what happened to seven years?
Narration
Orsino- Seven shmevin, I don’t care! Be clamorous! Be loud! Be rude! Just don’t
6 So who was that geezer with the beard? take no for an answer!
7 That was Toby Belch, Olivia’s uncle Viola- When I see her, what then?
6 And who was that girl? Orsino- Tell her I love her, act like me and say smart things.
7 That’s Maria, Olivia’s servant and Sir Andrew Viola- And you can’t go because?
6 And who’s… Orsino- Because I am a Duke, I don’t do anything for myself! And your sooooo….
Pretty? HANDSOME! Yes, I mean, huh? Just go!
7 Can we just get back to the story?
Viola- Fine, fine, I’ll do my best to woo your Lady, but it’s going to be so hard!
6 Sorry
After these last three weeks of tying his shoes I totally want to marry him myself!
7 Right… So, Sir Andrews in love
Act 1 scene 5
6 Who with?
Malvolio- Lady Olivia! There is at the gate a young gentleman who much desires
7 Olivia to speak with you!
Olivia- Nope!

Malvolio- Seriously!, I told him you were busy ,I told him you were out, I told him Narration
you were tired, I told him you were sick, I told him you were asleep, I told him
6 She was beautiful, I’m going to get her number
you were sick in you sleep the dude is simply not leaving!!!
7 You can’t
Olivia- Fine! Let him approach
6 Why not
Viola- Um, hi, are you Olivia?
7 You can’t, look you slowing up the plot of the whole story
Olivia- Maybe
6 Sorry, it’s a great story though, are all Shakespeare’s plays as good as
Viola- Well I heard Olivia is the most radiant, exquisite and unmatchable beauty
this?
like… EVER
7 Yes, they are, all 37 of them!
Oliva- That would be me.
6 Really… I’m definitely going to have to read more after this! In fact! I’m
Viola- Now we’re getting somewhere, Orsino loves you with all his heart-
going to the library
Olivia- Are you a comedian! She is revealed
7 Not now, we’re kind of in the middle of something
3 narrators come out to frame reveal
6 Right, to the audience, sorry
Olivia- Sparkles?!!?
7 Anyway, let’s see what’s happened to Sebastian.
Viola- Wow! You are pretty.
6 He’s alive, hooray!!!
Olivia- I know
7 Right… come on
Viola- I see what you are! You are too proud

Olivia- Look, I know Orsino is young, noble and rich but I cannot love him.
Act 2 scene 1
Viola- Well I don’t get it but at least I tried! Farewell fair cruelty! Exits
Sebastian- Thanks for saving my life Antonio. Gotta go, see you later!
Viola- Oh my, wow!!! I am so in L-O-V-E with that boy! Malvolio!!
Antonio- Whoa, Sebastian, can I go with you? You’re my new best friend.
Enter Malvolio
Sebastian- Nah, I am really sad that my twin sister Viola drowned some hour
Olivia- Run after that boy and tell him to come back tomorrow. before you found me.
Antonio- That’s awful! You really shouldn’t be on your own, let me be your Andrew- Oh please, what does ‘gabble’ mean anyway?
servant? Please?
Malvolio- To talk and talk on and on… look Toby! Olivia told me that if you don’t
Sebastian- Sure, that sounds cool, come on! start acting like a proper gentleman she is very willing to bid you farewell! Even if
you are her uncle!

Toby- Malvolio? Do you see my face?

Act 2 scene 2
Malvolio- What?
Malvolio- Excuse me sir! Wait up!
Toby- Do you see my face?
Viola- Yes?
Malvolio- Of course-
Malvolio- Olivia says you have to come back tomorrow
Toby- Malvolio, do you see my face, does it look bovered?
Viola- I really don’t want to
Malvolio- What, it’s…
Malvolio- You really don’t have a choice! See ya!
Toby- Am I bovered though? Etc...
Viola- Uh-oh, I think Olivia has a crush on me. This is getting confusing so let’s
review, I’m in love with Orsino, he’s in love with Olivia and she’s in love with me! Malvolio- You people are hopeless.
Oh time must untangle this not I! It is too hard a knot for me to untie! That
He leaves
means only time will fix this!
Toby- What a fuddy duddy!
Act 2 scene 3
Maria- Listen guys! I have an evil plan! Let’s play a joke on Malvolio!
Toby- What a great party, let’s stay up the rest of the night and celebrate!
Toby- What wilt thou do?
Andrew- Our live consist of eating and drinking, to be up late is to be up late!
Maria- I will write a romantic love letter form Olivia about how she’s in love with
Maria- It’s three in the morning! If you don’t keep it down Olivia will send
Malvolio! He’ll believe it and when he finds out the truth, he’ll feel really silly!
Malvolio to yell at you!
Andrew- Brilliant! You’re a genius Maria!
Toby and Andrew- Oh no, not Malvolio, I soooo scared…
They exit
Malvolio coughs

Toby and Andrew- Uh-oh, Malvolio!

Narration
Malvolio- I should have known it was you fools making all this racket! Have you
no wit, manners, nor honesty bur to gabble like tinkers at this time of night?
1 Oh no, Malvolio’s in love with Olivia too Orsino- Yes! And give her this jewel.

2 I know Viola- Right! Off I go!

1 And they’re going to trick Malvolio

2 I know Act 2 scene 5

1 Poor Malvolio, that so sad, burst into tears, Toby- Come on! Let’s watch Malvolio’s reaction to the love letter!

2 So, the tension rises along with the confusion… as Cesario returns to
Count Orsino, will she/he… reveal her true feelings? Will they all live
happily after? Will everyone stop falling in love with Olivia? Let us see…
Act 2 scene 4
Orsino- Let me tell you something Cesario, if ever thou shalt love, you will finally
know what it’s like to be me right now. All I can think of is Olivia, Olivia, Olivia,
Olivia! My gut tells me you’ve fallen in love with someone, am I right?
Viola- Well, kind of.
Orsino- That’s great! What kind of girl is she?
Andrew- I wouldn’t miss this for the world!
Maria- Hide! Here comes Malvolio!
Malvolio- I am feeling lucky today. What’s this? Why, it’s a letter from Olivia! I
wonder who it’s for. ‘Jove knows I love’ but who? Sounds very Shakespearian.
Andrew- Can you believe this?
Toby- Shhhhh, this is good stuff!
Malvolio- ‘Malvolio, I don’t care that your my servant. Some are born great,
some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon’em. Please were
those ridiculous yellow stockings that I love! I love you!’ wo-hoo!!! Oh, I am so
happy! She loves me! Oh, to be Count Malvolio!

Viola- She’s… um… like you Toby- Seriously, I could marry Maria for her brilliance!

Orsino- She is not worth thee then, how old is she? Andrew- So could I too!

Viola- About your years my Lord, and size and height and… smell. Toby- So could I three!

Orsion- Right….. ummm…. Too old by heaven! Enough about you let’s talk about Maria- Does it work upon him?
me instead, where were we! Oh yes, Olivia!!! Go and tell her I care only for her!
Toby- Does it work upon him? If you mean how it went, it went amazing! He
Viola- Sorry Orsino, but she really doesn’t love you. I don’t even think she likes believed every word!
you!
Maria- Cool! He’ll come to her in those ugly yellow stockings that she hates and
Orsino- I will make her love me! I know I can. she’ll be totally annoyed by his happiness.

Viola- If you say so. Sir, shall I to this lady, Olivia? Andrew- Let’s go!
 Olivia

Act 3 scene 1 I really, really, really, really love you!

Enter Viola Viola

Toby- Hello there! My niece Olivia would like to talk to you. No

Viola- Well, that’s why I’m here! I want to talk to her too! Olivia

Toby- Great! Taste your legs sir. Put them to motion. I really, really, really, really, really, really, really love you! Honest I do!

Viola- Taste your legs? Viola

Toby- Yeah. You know! Hurry up. Don’t you speak Shakespeare? No

Enter Olivia and Maria Olivia

Viola- Hi Olivia, can I speak to you… in private? please!

Olivia- Of course…. Coughs… coughs louder… GET OUT! Viola

Toby- Oh, me, right… sorry! No

They exit Olivia

Olivia- What is your name anyway? Please!

Viola- Cesario, but I’m here to talk about… Viola

Olivia- I know, I know… Orsino! Yuck! I beg you never speak again of him! Let’s No. no, no, no, no ,no!
talk about me instead… I love you!
Viola- I pity you
Song
Olivia- I guess that’s better than nothing. This is a bit embarrassing… OK, you can
Olivia leave now!!!

I love you! Viola- Great, bye

Viola Olivia- No wait, Stay!

No Viola- Go! Stay! What’s wrong with this Lady?

Olivia- Could you just try and love me? A little nit? Please? My bottom lip still quivers

Viola- I swear I will never love you! EVER! See ya later!

Sir Andrew
Olivia- Ohhhhh Without her
and loves sweet exchanges
Olivia
The trees are bare she doesn’t care
I’m on my own we might as well be strangers
why isn’t he beside me?
All alone Cesario
and still, I am in mourning
Without him I love him
and his arms around me and every day I'm yearning
All this time
Orsino should I stop pretending?
I don’t know what to say to make her want to Olivia
come and find me Without him
the thought is so concerning
I am sad, my bottom lip it quivers His face so full of happiness
cried so much, my tears are now a river That I will never know
In her dark dress, as beautiful as starlight
Orsino
I look at her and all I see is her and me forever
I love her
Cesario

And I think, would he really mind? Sir Andrew

if I was just myself and talk to him? I love her
and I see that he so just love blind
Still I pray, there's a way for us Cessario and Olivia
Sir Andrew I love him

I love her All 4

But when I try to talk to her So why am I alone????
She is gone

Orsino
Act 3 scene 2
Andrew- Olivia is never going to notice me! I’m leaving town.
Toby- Wait, maybe she’s trying to… um…. Make you jealous!
Fabian-That’s it! She wants you to be brave! To win her over, oh brave Sir
Andrew!
Toby- You know what would really impress her? A duel! You should challenge
Cesario!
Fabian- Sir Toby is right. There’s no way but this sir Andrew! You’ve got to fight
for her!
Andrew- I’ll do it! Ill challenge Cesario to a duel right now!
Maria- Hey! Come quick! Malvolio is wearing his hideous yellow stockings and
smiling so much1 I know my Lady will strike him!
Toby- Sweet, more entertainment! Come on!
Act 3 scene 3
Sebastian- Thank for coming with me Antonio, you’re a great friend!
Antonio- No problem! Listen, want to find a hotel? In the south suburbs, we can
stay at the elephant hotel.
Sebastian- The Elephant? But I didn’t bring my trunk! Get it? Elephant? Trunk?
Antonio- That was really bad!
Sebastian- It wasn’t that bad, anyway, let’s go and see the sights first! I’ve never
been to Illyria.
Antonio- Sorry my friend. During the war I stole a lot of their money. So if the
wrong people see me here, I could be in a lot of trouble.
Sebastian- Do not then walk to open.
Antonio- I’ll be careful. But here’s some money, go and have fun.
Sebastian- Ok, thanks Antonio. See you later at the Elephant!
Act 3 scene 4
Olivia- Hey, where’s Malvolio? He is sad and civil, just what I need right now to
take my mind off Cesario.
Maria- He’s coming, but in a very strange manner. He is sure possessed.
Olivia- What’s wrong with him?
Maria- I think he’s gone crazy! Here he comes.
Malvolio- Sweet lady ho ho!
Olivia- Why are you smiling? I want you to be sad.
Malvolio- I’m following your letter, see? I’m seizing the day Olivia! Carpe Diem!
Olivia- You’re right Maria, he obviously gone insane.
Servant- Lady Olivia, the young gentleman Cesario came back and he’s waiting
for you! What it’s my only line!
Olivia- Tell him I’ll be right there. Have my uncle Toby watch over Malvolio until
he feels better. I hope he’s not crazy forever!
Malvolio- She must love me! She’s having her uncle take care of me! This is so
great!
Enter Toby
Toby- How is it with you Malvolio?
Maria- Sir Toby, yours supposed to take care of him! Olivia said so.
Toby- We need to be careful with him! I hear he gone nuts, he might be Fabian- Seriously dude, the knight that wants to fight you is the most skilful,
dangerous! bloody and fatal opposite that you could have possibly found in any part of Illyria,
do you want me to go with you?
Malvolio- I don’t have time for this, I’m leaving!
Viola- Yes, thank you, I hate fighting!
Malvolio exits
Viola and Fabian exit, Andrew Enters
Toby- Why we shall make him mad indeed!
Toby- You better prepare yourself, they say he’s the best in this kingdom.
Maria- He house will be the quieter
Andrew- Uh-oh, I’ll not meddle with him!
Andrew enters
Toby- You can’t get out of it now, here they come!
Toby- Speaking of crazy people!
Fabian- Lets do this!!!
Andrew- Here’s the challenge! Read it!!!
They fight
Toby- ‘Cesario, I don’t know you, but I really don’t like you and I think we should
duel! Sincerely, sir Andrew’ Antonio- Put up your sword!

Maria- Well that should terrify him! He just so happens to be in the other room Toby- Who in the heck are you?
with my Lady Olivia!
Antonio- I’m his friend, I’d do anything for him!
Toby- Great! I’ll deliver your letter, go and wait for him in the garden. As soon as
Toby and Viola- What???
you see him, attack him with your sword brave sir Andrew!
Toby- Well then let’s fight!
Andrew- Got it!
Police- This is the Man, grab him!
Toby- I can’t deliver this letter, its rubbish! I will deliver his challenge by word of
mouth! Police 1- You are under arrest for stealing our money. Let’s go!
Enter Viola Antonio- See I told you they don’t like me! Listen, do you still have that money I
gave you?
Toby- Cesario, there’s a pretty angry knight waiting for you outside, thy assailant
is quick, skilful and deadly and wants to kill you! Viola- What money sir? I have no idea who you are!
Viola- What? Somebodies mad at me? I didn’t do anything! Antonio- Seriously? You’re going to pretend not to know me? This is ridiculous!
You see, I rescued him when he was drowning and have been a really good friend
Toby- Come on, just go out and find him, I’ll let him know you’re coming!
to him.
Policeman- Boo-hoo come on!
4 You’ll be fine as long as you don’t falling love on a Shakespeare play!
Antonio- Thanks a lot, Anyway, Sebastian has found his way to the south suburbs
SEBASTIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 3 To where all the actions happening!
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOON! 4 Exactly, and Sir Andrews found him, and think he’s Cesario
Viola- Wow, he was really upset. He named Sebastian” My brother name! Is he
alive? How cool would that be? 3 Oh no…
She leaves

Toby- I can’t believe Cesario just let his friend be taken away like that! Act 4 scene 1

Andrew- I know! Now I really want to beat him up! Andrew- Ah-ha! I knew I’d find you here! Cesario, put up your sword!

Fabian- well what are we waiting for? Let’s go get him! Sebastian- What? Is everyone in Illyria crazy? I swear I don’t know any of you
people!

Toby and Fabian- Gotcha!

Narration
Sebastian- Let me go! This is so not cooooooooool.
3 That was crazy, why can’t they all just get along? They fight until…

Olivia- Stop this right now! Uncle toby, leave poor Cesario alone and get out of
4 That’s what love can do to you my sight!

Toby- Sorry Olivia.

3 Really?
Olivia- Those boys are so childish with their fighting, why don’t you come back to
my house for a while?
4 Yes
Sebastian- She called me Cesario too, but she is really fit so I think I’ll go with her!
Madam, I will!
3 In that case I’m never gonna fall in love!
5 Oh no, Olivia thinks that Sebastian is Cesario too, that’s awful Olivia- When you’re ready good father!

6 Actually it’s O.K., this is the first time we see love work Priest- Okay, do you?

5 Although it is a love based on an unstable foundation Sebastian- Yep!

6 Yes but Priest- Do you?

5 That’s going to be an odd conversation Olivia- You betcha!

6 Yes but Priest- Okay then, you’re married!

5 And now they’re getting married

6 Really, now Act 5 scene 4

5 Yes, I think were invited Orsino- Today the day Cesario! Olivia fill finally realise that I’m the man for her!

6 Really, oh dear, yes… Act 4 scene 3 Curio- I’m sure she will Cesario!

5 Sobbing I don’t know what it is, I just love weddings, they get to me Viola- Hey look, there’s the guy who got dragged away by the priest!

6 Anyway, when is all this going to stop, all this love and confusion? Orsino- That face I do remember well. Hey, you stole our money!

5 Oh, looks like now Police- Yeah, he’s a stinky pirate!

Antonio- I am not a pirate and I am not stinky! I’m only here because I rescued
HIM from drowning, and now he’s pretending that he doesn’t even know who I
Act 4 scene 2
am! And he was my best friend!
Sebastian- This is the air, that is the glorious sun! This must be a dream! Wow,
Orsino- When came you to this town?
Olivia loves me! I don’t even care that she keeps calling me Cesario and I met her
this morning! Antonio- Got here this morning!

Olivia- I don’t mean to rush you Cesario but this priest- Orsino- This morning! Then you really have lost your find. Cesario’s been serving
me for three months!
Priest pops up
Enter Olivia
Olivia- Has agreed to marry us… now! What do you say?
Olivia- Orsino, you’re here again! I-DON’T-LIKE-YOU-OK!!!
Sebastian- Sure, why not?
 Song Spoken- Orsino, if you loved me then you’d respect me!

Orsino Orsino

I love you! I respect you

Olivia Olivia

No No

Orsino Orsino

I really, really, really, really love you! I really, really, really, respect you!

Olivia Olivia

No No

Orsino Orsino

I really, really, really, really, really, really, really love you! Honest I do! I really, really, really, really, really, really, respect you! Honest I do!

Olivia Olivia

No No

Orsino Orsino

please! Please!

Olivia Olivia

No No

Orsino Orsino

Please! Please!

Olivia Olivia

No. no, no, no, no ,no! No. no, no, no, no ,no!
 Orsino Viola- What are you talking about? I never hurt you.

Come on! Toby- Are you kidding me? You just bashed him in the head!

All Olivia- Enough! Fool, get him to bed, and let his hurt be looked to. All of you! Go!

No. no, no, no, no ,no! Sebastian- Sorry I’m late dear wife! But I got into this fight with your uncle,
Antonio! Hey buddy! Where on earth have you been?
Orsino- Still so cruel?
Orsino- One face, one voice, one habit and two persons!!!
Olivia- Still so constant Lord.
Late comer enters
Orsino- Fine then, I’m leaving. Come on Cesario.
Orsino What this, late, do you know who I am? This won’t do, we’re doing it
Olivia- Where do you think you’re going Cesario?
again!
Viola- With Orsino! I love him!
7 We can’t do it again, were almost at the end
Orsino- Let’s go Cesario!
Orsino No, this simply isn’t good enough, we starting again
Olivia- Cesario, husband! Stay!
5 We Can’t! (Add teacher name) says we’ve got to keep it under 40
Viola- Husband? minutes

Orsino- Husband? Orsino Well, we’ve got looks at watch 3 minutes, again

Curio- Husband? 1&2 We can’t

Priest- Yes, husband, I married Olivia and Cesario earlier today. Orsino We can and we will, only this time faster!!!!

Andrew, Fabian and Toby enter 1 Well ladies and gentlemen, look like we’re going to do it

Andrew- Ahhh, my head! 2 We present to you, Twelfth Night!!!

Toby- Ahhh, my leg!

Fabian- Ahhh, my brain! V- Oh my poor twin brother Sebastian must have died in the shipwreck!

Olivia- Who did this to you? Cap- You should dress as a boy and work for the duke, Orsino!

Andrew- Cesario! We took him for a coward, but he’s the very devil incardinate! V-OK
There he is!
Cap- Wait, you should call yourself Cersario O- Malvolio! Get him back here

V-OK M- OK

SWITCH SWITCH

Ors- Olivia, Olivia, Olivia, Olivia, Why won’t she notice me? S- Thank for saving my life, Bye

Serv- Her brother just died, she’s in morning for seven year! A-Can I go with you?

Ors, Nooooooooooooooooooo S- No

SWITCH A-Please

SA- Olivia doesn’t love me, I’m leaving S- OK

TB- Wait a month, she might snap out of it! SWITCH

SA-OK M- Wait! Olivia want to see you

SWITCH V- I really don’t want to

Ors- Tell Olivia I like her, love her, give her this note (leaves) M- Tough

Viola- But I love you! V- This is getting confusing, I’m in love with Orsino, Orsino’s in love with Olivia
and Olivas in love with me! Oh Time must untangle this!
SWITCH
SA/TB- Laughing as they come on
Mal- There’s a man at the gate, he really really really wants to speak to you
M- Be Quiet!
Olivia- OK
SA- Fuddy duddy
V- Orison loves you
Mar- I got an evil plan, I’ll write a love letter from Malvolio to Olivia!
O- I don’t like him
SA/TB- OK
V- Wow, you are fit, but too proud, bye
SWITCH
O- I really love her
Ors- My gut tells me you’re in love, what she likes?
Everyone- HIM!
V- Like you my Lord, Sniff
Ors- Righhhhht, anyway! Give Olivia this jewel! Fabian- Lets do this!

V- OK SA- Put up your sword

SWITCH Ant- Put down your sword!

Mar- Here’s the letter Police- Get him!

TB- Quick hide F- Thanks a lot, Sebastian!!!

Mal- Oh! A Letter! A letter, form Olivia, she loves me! V- It’s my brother Sebastian, he must be alive!!

TB/F/SA- Laugh off SA- Put up your sword!

SA- You’re a genius Maria Olivia- Stop!!!!! Come back to mine

M- I know! Seb- She called me Cesario, but she’s well fit, I’ll go!

SWITCH Priest- Do you

Olivia- I love you! Olivia- Yep!

V- I don’t love you Priest- Do you

Olivia- Could you try? Seb Yep!

V- No! Priest- You’re married!!

Olivia- Oh, clicks Can you get Malvolio! He is sad and civil SWITCH

M- Malvolio!!!! Ors- Todays the day Cesario, Olivia will realise I’m in love with her!!

Mal- Sweet Lady, Ho Ho V- Look there’s that man!

Olivia- He’s gone mad! Take him away! Police- He’s a stinky Pirate!

SWITCH Fab- No I’m not

SA- I’m gonna challenge Cesario Olivia- Your still here! I DON’T LIKE YOU

TB- OK Ors- Still so cruel!

Oli- Still so constant!

SA/F/TB- Moan

Oli- Who did this to you?

SA- He did!

V- No I didn’t!

Oli- GO AWAY!

Seb- Sorry I’m late dear wife, Antonio, where have you been?

V&S- Handshake

Ors- One Face, one voice, one habit and two persons!!

They all collapse

Antonio- Ummm? If you’re Sebastion, then who is that?

Sebastian- Do I stand there? I never had a brother. I had a sister bit she drowned.

Viola- No she didn’t! It’s me!

Sebastian- Viola! Sister!

Olivia and Orsino- You’re a girl?

Viola- One hundred percent!

Sebastian- See! It all worked out. You fell in love with my sister nut in the end
you got me!

Orsino- It’s ok Cesario, er, I mean, Viola, I think you’re hot! So hot that I want to
marry you!

Viola- YES!

Priest- Let the celebrating begin!!!