Villasmil 3

The Recollection of a Fragmented Relationship

Ryan Villasmil

Department of Writing and Rhetoric

ENC 1101

Professor Angela Orozco

September 24, 2023

 Villasmil 1

The Recollection of Fragmented Relationship

I have always had a difficult relationship with reading and writing since I was little. It

may have been the product of growing up as part of an immigrant family, where English was not

the primary language in the household, or that I never thought of books or literature as something

I’d like growing up. I always found reading and writing to be a chore, or something that just bore

me to death as a child. I was kid, I loved action packed sequences, loud noises, cartoons, action

toys, random wacky music, and you know, the basic boy stuff like sports. So, sitting down to

read to read a tale about a tortoise and a hare racing seems awesome now, but to little ol’ me back

then, it was just plain boring. This caused a major divide in my relationship with reading,

writing, and language, and for the longest time my literacy growth was stunted. By no means

was I dumb, or a kid who didn’t try, but it was just something I struggled with heavily. Then, in

second grade, suddenly my whole world was flipped upside down. My current teacher at the time

noticed that my progress when it came to reading, writing, and language was awfully slow,

painful even I might say. Whether it was because of my immigrant background coming from

Venezuela, or she genuinely wanted to help me, she placed me in the ESOL program. Just like

that, one visit to the office about the ESOL program became a daily routine. Every Tuesday at

10:30 I would get pulled out of class and get taught the bare basics. To be honest, it helped me
 Villasmil

significantly, but not in the way you would think. Yes, it taught me how to read and write more

efficiently, how to read at the level I was supposed to, and basic grammar, all of which are

helpful for the future. But, the most important thing that came out of that situation was a fire that

was lit in me, I never wanted to be in that type of position again.

From that point on, I put my all into reading. Even if I didn’t like the subject nor writing,

I wanted to understand it and be the best I could possibly be at the time. I still remember the

countless AR tests I took because I would read all types of books just to prove to myself that I

could read at the higher levels. I also remember all the new vocabulary words I learned to

develop my speaking and writing. This situation proctored me into understanding reading,

writing, and language at the time. It’s what made me learn it at the time. Looking back at it from

me point of view now, I do feel a bit disrespected in a way, the fact that they pinned the fact that

I wasn’t the best at the basics literacies to me being an immigrant and assuming that “English

wasn’t my first language”. Which way could have been considered a form of linguistic terrorism

which is “when a language or dialect is systemically oppressed, or population is demonized or

seen lesser then” (Anzaldúa, 1989, pp. 38-39). While this isn’t the traditional way we see

linguistic terrorism, seeing it now even though they were trying to help me, they were viewing

me as lesser than due to me background believing he isn’t up to “level” due to his other

language. None of the less I’m still grateful that this situation happened as it lit the fire in me and

gave me the drive to learn how to read, write, and speak as effectively as a 8 year old could at the

time. Even though this may have not been not very impressive, it was still important as I carried

this drive up to now

 Villasmil 1

and I still am looking to prove to myself. As even though I don’t like the subject, I will

understand it no matter what.

Picking up the Pieces

Even with that situation, which I overcame as a child, growing up my relationship with

literacy was still as fragmented as ever. I would understand it perfectly fine, reading and writing

weren’t an issue, but I still viewed them as a hassle, a chore that was in the way of doing what I

really wanted to do. I never had someone or something that was able to bridge the gap between

me and literacy, I never had a literacy sponsor, which is a significant person in your life who has

had a lasting effect on how you interpret literacy, which is how we communicate through certain

texts (Brandt, 1998). This effect can be rather negative or positive, as it can show you new, long-

lasting ways to interpret text, which can help you within your literacy journey. This gap within

me and in literacy further grew within me in eighth grade with my first literacy sponsor. No hard

feelings to her, of course, as she wasn’t a bad teacher by any means, but it was just her teaching

style and the way she viewed literacy that didn’t resonate with me. She would try to push this

view of literacy on us, and being student’s, we would soak up this information unintentionally
 Villasmil

even if we didn’t realize it. Next thing I knew I adopted her habits and views on literacy, which

in my eyes I did not like, causing it to persist in my writing as well as my reading. This adoption

made me literacy very robotic. I would start every paper in the same manner; paragraphs

formatted the same way every time. One evidence, elaboration, one evidence, elaboration. It all

became repetitive, and it made literacy even more boring for me. However, this all changed in

high school. One of the most impactful literacy sponsors I had the privilege to learn from was my

AP Seminar teacher, Dr. Jackson. She was the person who had the most profound impact on my

understanding of literacy. She opened a new world of literacy in my eyes, she showed me that it

all didn't need to be by the

books or a certain way, I could have my own writing styles, my own ideas. It was truly amazing

the way she put it; I became a whole new person. I was able to view one of the things that I hated

the most in a new light, and envision my own writing as something of my very own.

As a freshman in college, I now view literacy as something more than I did before. While it’s

still not my favorite thing to do, I have a sort of appreciation to of literacy, especially when I am

able to use my own thoughts to create a narrative that I want. The stories that I am able to create

are cohesive, detailed, and even me very own. It not the shell of my writing that I had before, but

now my papers have more life in them, more of my personality, while they still have their own

little differences and nuances to create a story different than the last. Though my relationship

with literacy isn’t one which started amazing, as time went on, I have had the privilege to have

the opportunity to experience literacy sponsors along the way who have bettered this

relationship. I may have learned how to read, write, and speak a long time ago, but I truly began

to understand what literacy is at this point in my life. I wholeheartedly believe as more time
 Villasmil 1

continues to go on, I will be able to understand literacy, and be able to read, write, and speak in

my eyes how I want to.

 Villasmil 5

References

Anzaldúa, G. (1989). How to Tame a Wild Tongue. In Borderlands: The New Mestiza – La

Frontera, 53–64. San Francisco: Aunt Lute Book Company.

https://www.everettsd.org/cms/lib07/WA01920133/Centricity/Domain/965/Anzaldua-

Wild-Tongue.pdf

Brandt, D. (1998). Sponsors of literacy. College Composition and Communication, 49(2), 165.

https://doi.org/10.2307/358929