JOB SATISFACTION VS JOB SECURITY

Nathalia

In modern society, having a job is a decision between satisfaction or security. The notions
that people do not expect to enjoy their jobs is debatable. This essay is going to explain the
main reason why a job generates satisfaction or security.

Research shows that having a security job can have positive benefits such as maintaining
work-life balance, where workers try to keep their jobs in order to continue with the routine.
Also, it can benefit their financial well-being, reduce the stress of not having enough savings
or debit to continue paying the bills. On the other hand, some people can find this kind of job
quite boring and repetitive, not testing or helping them to improve their skills.

However, having job satisfaction is also as important as having a secure position. Some
employers search for fulfilment through jobs who recognize their efforts and give by
acquiring some skills that can help them to achieve their life goals. In this regard, people are
constantly changing jobs for the purpose of finding the eagerly anticipated satisfaction.

By the way, there are many different components which can affect the satisfaction and
security of a person about their job, such as pay and benefits, career development,
recognition, respect, and engagement. One example of this are all the various types of work
that new societies present such as, freelance, youtubers or tiktokers, which are out of the
conventional and present new ways to earn money in different ways.

In conclusion, it is important to understand that the priorities of the people depend on their
goals and not for everyone is necessary to have a stable job to be fulfilled, some people
prefer to explore different types of jobs and learn as much as is possible in every
experience.

Hi Nathalia,
A good academic essay and you structure your ideas well. Remember, in the IELTS exam it
is important to write your opinion in the introduction (not just telling the reader what you will
do). The question asks you to ‘Discuss’ but a clear position is necessary. Here are a few
suggestions to improve the spelling, vocabulary collocation, and grammar in your report with
explanations and suggestions:

1. "notions that people do not expect to enjoy their jobs is debatable."

- The phrase "notions that people do not expect to enjoy their jobs" is unclear and could be
rephrased for clarity.

Suggestion: "The notion that people may not always expect to enjoy their jobs is
debatable."

2. "debit to continue paying the bills."

- The word "debit" is used incorrectly here. It should be "debt."
 Suggestion: "reduce the stress of not having enough savings or debt to continue paying
the bills."

3. "who recognize their efforts and give by acquiring some skills"

- This phrase is a bit unclear. It could be rephrased for clarity.

Suggestion: "who receive recognition for their efforts and acquire skills that can help
them achieve their life goals."

4. "the eagerly anticipated satisfaction."

- The word "eagerly" is not commonly used in this context. It could be replaced with "long-
awaited."

Suggestion: "for the long-awaited satisfaction."

5. "all the various types of work that new societies present such as, freelance, youtubers or
tiktokers,"
- The word "new" is not necessary in this context, and "youtubers" and "tiktokers" should
be written as "YouTubers" and "TikTokers" with capitalization.

Suggestion: "various types of work that modern societies present, such as freelancing,
YouTubers, or TikTokers,"

6. "not for everyone is necessary to have a stable job to be fulfilled"

- The sentence structure here is a bit confusing. It should be rephrased for clarity.

Suggestion: "Having a stable job is not necessary for everyone to find fulfilment."

Your essay discusses relevant points, but to improve clarity and precision, consider revising
the sentences as suggested above. Additionally, always proofread your work to catch minor
errors and ensure the fluency of your writing.

Here is a band score assessment for your essay based on IELTS Task 2 writing criteria:

1. Task Achievement (Band Score: 7)

- You have addressed the essay prompt, discussing both sides of the argument
(satisfaction vs. security) and providing your opinion.
- Your essay includes a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
- You've provided examples to support your points.

2. Coherence and Cohesion (Band Score: 7)

- You have generally organized your essay well, but there are some minor issues with
sentence structure and transitions.
- The use of transitional phrases and cohesive devices could be improved to enhance the
flow of your essay (“By the way” is informal) although you use many higher level expressions
“In this regard…”
3. Lexical Resource (Band Score: 6)
- Your vocabulary is reasonably varied, but there are some instances where word choices
could be improved for clarity and precision. For example: “not for everyone is necessary”
- For example, "Research shows that having a security job" could be enhanced by saying
"Research indicates that pursuing job security."

4. Grammatical Range and Accuracy (Band Score: 6)

- Your grammar is generally accurate, but there are several grammatical issues in the
essay, including subject-verb agreement and awkward sentence structures.
- For instance, "Some employers search for fulfilment through jobs who recognize their
efforts and give by acquiring some skills" could be revised as "Some individuals seek
fulfilment in jobs where their efforts are recognized, allowing them to acquire valuable skills."

Overall, your essay provides a well-structured response to the task, covering the main points
of the argument. To improve your score, work on enhancing coherence and cohesion by
using more varied transitional language. Additionally, aim for greater lexical precision and
grammatical accuracy to make your ideas clearer and more impactful.