THE MINDFUL LEADER PROGRAM

Facilitator Guide Part 2 - 180° Emotionally Intelligent Leadership

Emotional Intelligence Enhancement Program

Game changing for business. Life changing for people.

ABOUT GENOS
We help professionals improve emotional intelligence in order to enhance their impact, influence, and resilience.
To learn more about our unique approach, and the improvements we are generating in terms of productivity,
profitability, and customer loyalty, visit our website:

www.genosinternational.com

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Copyright © 2018 Genos International Pty Ltd

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FACILITATION GUIDE CONTINUED

Script: Welcome back.

Note: Conduct a short debrief to draw out of the group any of the following:
o How did your mindful moment go?

o What did you do mindfully?

o Who set an intention for their practice?

o What did you notice?
o How difficult was it to complete this routine task mindfully?

o What distractions did you notice?

o How did you bring yourself back to your focused activity?

Script: What most people notice is that it’s no different to bringing your attention to the breath; your
attention will wander back and forth, back and forth.
If you want to learn to place your attention on eating, or anything else, you should use the same
approach we’ve practised; when you notice that you’ve lost attention to your object of focus, then
firmly but gently return your attention back, in this case to your food.
If you’re working on a report and you get distracted by something, then when you notice that you’re
distracted, you gently but firmly return your attention to where you had planned it to be.
It’s always exactly the same process – no matter what you choose to focus upon. This exemplifies
how everything we do in our day can be done mindfully, how life can become mindful practice.
Everything that we do can become a way of developing our mindfulness practices more effectively –
bringing us into the present moment more frequently – so we can enjoy those 47% of moments in
our lives that research tells us are lost to most people through mind wandering.
The more everyday opportunities we find for integrating these practices, the more our brains can
easily sustain this state of presence, and the more it becomes our default to be attentive and
present.

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Script: So, how do you go about developing mindfulness?

Script: Well, it’s not complicated, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy! It takes some practice – you’ve
already had a taste of some of that practice.
Becoming more mindful is just a process of tuning in to listen to and observe what we hear, see and
feel. It’s paying attention, non-judgementally, to what’s going on around us. The implication of that
is that you don’t have to be sitting with eyes closed focused upon your breath to practise being
mindful. You could be simply paying attention, non-judgementally, when you walk, when you drive,
when you talk. You can be mindful when doing pretty much anything – and that’s the whole point.
When you pay attention to your life, even to that 47% of it that the research suggests most people
spend in mind wandering, then you live much more of your life – almost twice as much longer!
When we look at some formal techniques for practising mindfulness, the intent is to train our brains
to develop the default habit of being mindful and attentive in every moment of our lives, with
everything we do.
Think about any time you ask yourself, “Am I being mindful?” You are instantly in the moment –
instantly mindful.
That’s the aspiration. That level of mindfulness is not going to come overnight – that’s why we talk
of developing a “practice”. And, as we have seen from some of the stats already, the more mindful
we become, the more focused and productive we become.

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Script: It’s really like building a muscle. If you wanted to build up your biceps you’d go to the gym
and you would do lots and lots of repetitions of bicep curls. You would select a weight that’s slightly
heavier than what you are comfortable with and you’d do lots of repetitions of these curls.
And, if you use a personal trainer, they would be training you to a point where you can do no more.
They talk about training to “destruction”, to the point where the muscle can do no more, because
they know that it’s at this breaking point that the muscle becomes stronger.
When you sit down to meditate you’re exercising the “muscle of attention”, watching the
breath going in and out – to destruction. Destruction is the point at which you lose attention; and
it’s when you notice that you’ve lost that attention and choose to return the attention to the breath
that the “muscle of attention” grows in strength. As you do more reps over time you’re building your
brain’s ability to pay attention. It’s simply brain training. Meditation and mindfulness is like visiting a
gym for the brain, and neuroscience research shows that the parts of your brain responsible for
attention develop and grow more tissue to make you capable of being even more attentive over
time.

Script: So how do we develop mindfulness? Well there are three ways:

1. The first is through the mind – you’ve already had a taste of that; and we’re going to explore
that further in the program.
2. The second is through the body, and you’ll have noticed that when I got you to bring your
attention to your seat and feet that even that simple practice brought you into the present
moment. Remember that your mind cannot process more than one thing at any time, so when
you are absolutely attentive to your seat or your feet then you’re automatically utterly present
and mindful.
3. The third way to become mindful is through harnessing a combination of the body and the
mind, and that’s what we are going to do on this program to get the best results.
Let’s start with the mind.

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Script: You’ve already done some of this mind training, so now let’s look at what that process looks
like. We will talk more about intention as we move through the program and development. For now,
let’s just agree that we’ll start each meditation session by expressing our intention for that session.
That intention might be as simple as what I show here: to reduce stress, improve focus or increase
attention, for example. Mindfulness is intentional, not accidental, attention.

Note: Click.

Script: You began your practice by focusing on your breath. I instructed you to simply bring your
attention to your breath and, for the first few seconds, you were very likely relaxed – your attention
was calmly focused on the breath. To start there was no real challenge.

Note: Click.

Script: But, after two or three breaths, with your mind being so unaccustomed to focusing on one
thing for so long, it lost focus upon the breath. At some point in time you noticed, “Oh, I’ve been
distracted”, and returned your focus to your breath.

Note: Click.

Script: The instruction was not to get upset, just to restore your focus to the breath without being
self-critical. The point of the practice is not to be completely un-distractible – but to develop the
capability to NOTICE when you’ve been distracted and to remedy it by returning your attention to the
breath.

Note: Click.

Script: And then, as they say on the back of the shampoo bottles, “rinse and repeat”.
The key point to note about this practice is that losing attention is not failure – it is really success;
noticing the distraction is the point of this practice. This is probably the only time in your life where
failure in something you do is a success!

Note: Click.

Script: Just like being in the gym exercising our muscles, this practice builds your attention focus, the
“muscle of your attention” so that it becomes stronger and stronger.
That’s the process of mindful meditation – using the mind to become more mindful.

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Script: We can use the body to slip into a more mindful state – it can be consciously used to “tame”
our emotions. That’s exactly what you did when you used the seat and feet practice: you brought
your attention to your seat and your feet, which employed your body to consciously bring your
attention to the present moment. Now, let’s consider how the body can be used to achieve a similar
end.

Script: The best approach is to use a combination of both the mind and the body.
To learn a little more about how this combined process works, we’re going to do a slightly longer
attention practice exercise – bringing together the blocks we have already discussed, which were:

o seat and feet,

o six breaths,
o and the practice of mindful attention to the breath.
But we’ll also add a new element to the mix – intention – to focus the practice.

Script: Start by sitting in a posture that suggests your intention to remain alert but relaxed
throughout this practice. Sit up straight –not stiffly – but as if your head is being pulled gently upright

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by an invisible cable. Allow your spine to lift and your shoulders to relax. You should be erect but
relaxed. Put your hands wherever they feel comfortable – in your lap or on your thighs, relaxed and
symmetrical. Place your feet flat on the floor, legs uncrossed and relaxed. You may close your eyes
or keep them slightly open, looking downward a few feet in front of you, with a soft focus.

Note: Pause.

Script: Six mindful breaths

Note: Pause.

Script: ‘Seat & Feet’

Note: Pause.

Script: Now connect with your intention for doing this practice. You may want a better way to
handle stress. You may want to be more focused and productive, or a better leader. Or, perhaps you
just want to learn more about meditation practice. Whatever is important for you now, make that
your intention for these next few minutes.

Note: Pause.

Script: Now bring your attention to your breath. You may notice a movement of the abdomen or
chest as you breathe, or at the tip of your nose as the air enters and exits. Wherever the sensation of
breathing is most noticeable for you, simply rest your attention there gently.

Note: Pause.

Script: Breathing in, breathing out.

You can explore just noticing the breath, noticing each inhale and exhale, noticing the sensation of
the breath touching your nostrils. It is slightly warmer with each exhale and cooler with each inhale.
You may explore counting each exhale, from 1 to 10. If you notice your mind wander, come back to
1. Can you be curious and kind with yourself, even as you bring your attention back to your breath?

Note: Pause.

Script: Sometimes this practice results in people becoming excessively engaged with the breath –
and it becomes unnaturally heavy or light. This is NOT a breathing practice – it’s an observation
practice. So, let your breathing do what it wishes – and just NOTICE its passage in and out.

Note: Pause.

Script: If your attention wanders, as soon as you notice, simply return to this awareness of the
breath – gently, kindly – allowing the breath to be a kind of home base, or anchor, for awareness.
Thoughts coming, thoughts going. No need to push away or chase after them. If your attention
wanders, simply return. Right here, right now.

Note: Pause.

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Script: Now, let’s sit quietly for two minutes, making just the right amount of effort to be present, to
notice the body and the breath. Or, just sit here being aware of whatever arises for you.

Note: Pause, two minutes. Ring bell

Script: Gently open your eyes fully, returning your awareness to the room, stretching in any way you
would like.

Script: So much of this program is about noticing what’s going on and how we react to it, that it
makes sense to bring that conscious attention to reviewing these practices as we go through them.
My aim is that you become more accustomed to continually bringing your attention to your body and
your thoughts and your feelings – and to everything that’s going on around you; just noticing what
there is to notice at any moment in time. So tell me: what did you notice about that practice?
Tell me anything you noticed: if you heard a door slamming, if you heard somebody cough, tell me.
Or if you noticed that your attention was running away from the practice, if you felt hot or cold, or if
you became aware of any particular emotions arising in you. What did you notice?

Note: Take a minute or two to draw the group out on everything they noticed.

Script: This is the first full practice where we have used the six breaths technique that we learned
right up at the top of the program, combined with the seat and feet and attention to the breath. This
time, we introduced the concept of an intention to our practice stack. At the beginning of every one
of our attention training and meditation practices in future, I’m going to suggest that you set an
intention. An intention is not like creating a goal – because a goal can be achieved or not achieved.
An intention is really just saying, “I’m going to practise and ideally I would like X to happen – but it’s
not a failure if it doesn’t.”
Suppose you want to relax a little – if you set that as a goal then there are two implications: first,
you’re likely to find yourself striving to successfully relax (whatever that means!), and this simply
distracts from the relaxing nature of the practice. Second, there could be a sense of failure if an
“adequate” level of relaxation is not achieved.

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With an intention, there is no need to strive – you’re merely setting a direction for the practice and
allowing it to unfold as it will, without judging it during or after the practice.
Remember the definition of mindfulness we discussed earlier? It was developing intentional
awareness of what’s going on in the present moment – and non-judgementally.
This is a core practice; it’s tremendously useful for promoting calm and settling your mind. We have
started this practice by sitting quietly, mostly eyes closed – but that’s not entirely necessary. You can
also adapt this core practice so that it can be done when you’re sitting, standing or walking. It can be
done with your eyes open or closed.
This is the first of a series of practices that I’m going to suggest become a core part of your daily life
– and, as we progress through the program, we’ll talk about how you can integrate these practices
into your life.

Script: We’ve already been through this mindful meditation process in practice, and you saw that the
process was one of you simply following your breath and, when you noticed that you’d become
distracted, simply reorienting your attention back to the breath – regaining the intentional attention
focus that is the core of this practice, returning to following your breath. And we saw that the cycle
of attention–distraction–awareness–reorientation of attention repeats over and over again.
We likened it to doing repetitions of physical exercise as you might in a gym – except this time
you’re exercising the “attention muscle” of your brain.

Script: Let’s look at what’s going on in the brain when you’re doing this.

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Script: What you see here, when focused upon your breath, is that part of the prefrontal cortex, the
thinking and reasoning part of your brain, is active – here it’s highlighted in blue. When your
attention is focused like that then you’re very much using the prefrontal cortex and the rest of the
brain is taking a back seat.

Script: Then you become distracted from the breath – that’s when you start what’s called “mind
wandering”. That process lights up a collection of areas that neuroscientists refer to as “the default
network”. Remember the Harvard statistic earlier about people reporting that they spend 47% of
their time in this mind wandering? This is what’s going on in their brains when they’re doing so.
You don’t need to understand what every single part of the brain lit up here is all about – it’s
sufficient to notice that your attention is no longer focused where you wanted it to be. Suddenly,
your energy is also being pulled off to other areas shown here, like the precuneus, the posterior
cingulate cortex, the lateral temporal cortex, the posterior inferior parietal, and so on.

Script: Research suggests that when we are mind wandering we tend to become obsessed with the
past or concerned with the future. So, despite many people’s intuition to believe it might be restful
for the mind, it is very much a counterproductive activity from a peace of mind perspective.

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Script: In the moment that you notice that you’ve been distracted, this default network shuts down.
Part of your brain, called the insula –highlighted here in green – was triggered when I instructed you
in our practice to bring your attention to your seat and feet. The insula is the part of your brain that
is responsible for “interoception”; the ability to be able to observe yourself doing whatever you’re
doing. When the insula lights up, you notice where your attention is currently focused, allowing you
to return it to where you had planned it to be. In the practice I instructed you to simply note that you
had been distracted and then, gently but firmly, and without judgement, to return the focus to the
breath.

Script: And here you see that, as you regain attentional focus, much of the activity is again focused
in the PFC.

Script: And once your attention is fully back on the breath, all but the PFC is largely inactive.

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Script: This slide shows the process that is repeating dozens of times as you practise this focus on
your breath.

Script: So, all of those short-term changes that we made in activating our brain by going through the
process of meditation are all very interesting in and of themselves. But what neuroplasticity shows
us is that the more we exercise that “attention muscle”, the more we change the physical structure
of the brain – much as we change the physical structure of muscles that we exercise.
This slide shows you that there are two areas where research has shown this effect – what
neuroscientists refer to as “Brodmann 9 and 10”; and the insula that we mentioned earlier. Cortical
thickness (the volume/thickness of tissue in these two areas) is shown on the Y axis.
Note the results for the control participants in orange – these were not meditation practitioners; the
results for the meditation practitioners are in blue. First notice that, in general, the meditation
participants have more tissue in those areas. Their practice has grown the volume of that tissue – so
they are going to be more effective at being attentive and being present.
Notice too that, as the population of meditation participants age, they’re losing less of their cortical
thickness in those areas than the control group. We can deduce two things from this:
1. The more you meditate, the more your brain becomes capable of meditating effectively;
focusing and placing attention where you want it.

2. As we age, meditation helps us maintain brain tissue that would otherwise dissipate with age.

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 The science of emotions
In the space below, write down as many Using the feelings words list prompt, write
feelings you can recall experiencing during down as many feelings you can recall
the last 24 hours. experiencing during the last 24 hours.

Total number recalled: Total number recalled:

Total number of productive:

Total number of unproductive:

Game changing for business. Life changing for people. © 2018 Genos International 6

Script: This morning we spoke about self-awareness as the gateway into emotional intelligence. We
also saw that mindfulness is the gateway to self-awareness. So, what is self-awareness? Review
your report for this EI Leadership Competency. You will see that under self-awareness we have seven
behaviours. The core behaviour here, the one that really drives the rest of them, is the extent to
which we are aware of our moods and emotions. People who demonstrate an awareness of their
moods and emotions tend to be better at understanding the impact their behaviour has on others.
This is a critical skill for effective leadership, teamwork and collaboration with others. Let’s explore
self-awareness in more detail through an exercise.

Note: You need the feelings word list for this activity – a copy for each participant.

Script: To help us understand the power of emotional intelligence, I want to start with an activity on
the science of emotions. Turn to your workbooks and you should see a table very similar to the one
up on the slide. In a moment, when I say “go”, I’m going to give you 60 seconds to write down in
the first column of the table as many feelings as you can recall feeling over the last 24 hours.

Note: Check to make sure everyone is ready to participate then say, “go”. Provide them with 60
seconds to do the activity and then say, “stop”.

Script: Count up the number of feelings you were able to recall and write this number down in the
“total number recalled” area (point on slide). The science suggests that we have almost as many
emotions as we do thoughts in a given day. However, we aren’t typically conscious of them. We are
only conscious of the way we feel about 15% of the time. So, we are going to do this exercise again.
But this time we are going to use the “Feelings Word List” in your materials to help us recall
emotions that we may not have been entirely conscious of as they arose.

Note: Hand out the feelings word list to each person, telling people to familiarise themselves with it
as you do.

Script: I’m now handing out a feelings word list that comprises many of the feelings words of the
English language. Familiarise yourself with this list. In a moment I’m going to give you another 60
seconds to try to recall as many feelings you can recall having over the last 24 hours, only this time
you can use this sheet as a prompt to help you recall them. This time, write them down in the right-
hand column of the table.

Note: Check to make sure everyone is ready to participate then say, “go”. Provide them with 60
seconds to do the activity and then say, “stop”.

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Script: Count up the number of feelings you were able to recall this time round and write this
number down in the “total number recalled” area on the right-hand side. Now, I’d like us to reflect
on all the feelings across both lists. Specifically, I’d like you to put a tick next to feelings on your lists
that are positive. Then count these up and give yourself a number for the total number of positive
feelings you recalled. Then repeat this for negative emotions, placing a cross (x) next to all those
emotions that are negative. When you have done that, count up the number of crosses you have and
place this number in the total number of negative emotions recalled.

The science of emotions

Game changing for business. Life changing for people. © 2018 Genos International 7

Script: Neuroscience is the study of the biological mechanisms of the brain. Research has shown that
whenever an event around us occurs (such as the way someone speaks to us in a meeting), the first
thing that happens is our emotional brain, which involves structures such as the amygdala, tags that
event as either a reward or a threat. The tag is an emotion. Reward emotions are typically positive,
and threat emotions are typically negative. This emotion tag is communicated to the thinking brain,
which involves structures such as the prefrontal cortex. The prefrontal cortex, or thinking brain, helps
us determine good from bad, better from best, and it helps us anticipate behaviour and determine
the behavioural response to make to events. As such, the first principle of this program, and indeed
one of the underpinnings of emotional intelligence theory, is that the way you feel influences the
decisions you make and the behaviour you display.
The second interesting finding from research on the neuroscience of emotions is that the emotional
tag or emotional signal sent from the emotional brain interacts in a way with the thinking brain that
can either enhance or impair its functioning. More specifically, this research has shown that positive
emotional tags, such as feeling satisfied, valued or useful, tend to enhance the functioning of our
prefrontal cortex, helping us think more openly, creatively and laterally. As such, when we
experience positive emotions, either consciously or unconsciously, we tend to be more open to new
ideas, we tend to be more engaged and willing to do difficult things and develop new solutions, and
we tend to think more deeply about issues and see more options. Positive emotions also increase
dopamine levels, which are important for interest in things and learning. Conversely, this research
has shown that negative emotional tags, such as feeling concern, worry, frustration or stress, tend to
limit the functioning of our prefrontal cortex, narrowing our thinking and limiting our interpretation
of events. These negative emotions tend to diminish our cognitive resources. As a result, we become
biased in our views, lose our capacity to objectively evaluate situations and conceptualise our best
responses to them. You may have experienced this in a verbal conflict with someone where you felt
threatened and thought about all the best or “smartest” things to say once you’d walked away from
it.
Work by researchers and academics, such as Barbara Fredrickson, have further helped us understand
the way positive emotions enhance the functioning of our prefrontal cortex – this is often called the
“broaden and build” effect.

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 The 24-hour emotions activity
• The number in the first column of the table
represents your level of emotional
awareness over the last 24 hours
• You should now have a ‘negative-positive
ratio’ for the last 24 hours
• This ratio gives you a window into your
decisions, behaviour and performance
over this period

Game changing for business. Life changing for people. © 2018 Genos International 8

Script: I will now debrief the activity we completed earlier where I asked you to recall the emotions
you experienced over the last 24 hours. These insights will help us understand the importance and
application of emotional intelligence in the workplace, and, indeed, the activity we just completed.
We will complete this debrief based on our new level of understanding about the neuroscience of
emotions.

Application discussion
• Capture answers to the reflective
questions in your workbook

• Share with colleagues in your group

• Be prepared to discuss with the group

Game changing for business. Life changing for people. © 2018 Genos International 9

Note: In table groups, ask the participants to consider the following questions:
• What does your list suggest to you about your last 24 hours?

• How conscious or unconscious were you about the way you felt over the last 24 hours?
The two columns of words will give you insights into your level of emotional consciousness over the
last 24 hours – if your list grew, as is typical, it would suggest that you were unconscious to some
degree about the range of emotions you experienced.
• Which emotions were a productive influence, and which were unproductive for you?
Invite the participants to add up their ticks and crosses, noting that in some cases people will have
made emotionally intelligent behavioural choices to unproductive emotions.
Allow 5–10 minutes of table group discussion.
o In part two of this exercise it is common for people to double the number of feeling-based
words recalled – the word list helps us recall the emotions experienced.

o The word list is an emotional vocabulary – building our emotional vocabulary can help us express
our feelings more effectively.
o The word list helps people reflect more deeply about the range of emotions experienced, and
how these emotions influence thinking, decisions and performance.
o There are more “negative” than “positive” feeling-based words on the word list – this could
reflect how our language has evolved around avoidance of threats.
o It is common for people to report that a single unproductive event can shape how they
remember an entire day.

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Conclude the discussion by inviting the group to consider how their team members would have
responded to this exercise.

Script: What do you think would be their typical ratio between productive and unproductive
emotions?

The science of emotions

Emotions influence…

Decisions Behaviour Performance

Game changing for business. Life changing for people. © 2018 Genos International 10

Script: In summary, the science on emotions has found that the influence emotions have on our
decisions, behaviour and performance is both conscious and unconscious, productive and
unproductive. We aren’t conscious of the way we feel about 85% of the time, and, therefore,
developing greater levels of self-awareness is a foundational element of being more emotionally
intelligent.
You’ve just looked at the large number of emotions that pass through you on a daily basis, both
positive and negative, seen and unseen – all having an impact upon the decisions you make and the
behaviour that you deploy. Here are some startling statistics.
There is not a huge amount of really good, solid research on how many thoughts we have in a day.
There is one myth going around the Internet that says that the National Science Foundation in the
United States proved definitively that we have 60,000 thoughts per day.
But these numbers, from Dr Dennis Gersten, were the only statistics that we could find that came
anywhere close to using any sort of scientific rigour in measuring what is the real number of
thoughts that people have in a day.
It came out at about 15,000 thoughts per day, and only about 50% of those are positive. If you do
the maths then that means that you have an average of 7,500 negative thoughts daily, or about five
per minute. And those thoughts are stimuli, just like people speaking to you, or events happening to
you – they also evoke an emotional response. Whether these numbers are accurate or not, even if
the real numbers were just a fraction of these, it’s clear that becoming more aware of our thoughts
is a really critical component of being more emotionally intelligent.

Note: Blank your screen here – do not show slide yet.

Script: Since we started this session, we’ve been focused pretty intensely on more technical
material. There is much research to suggest that, when we’re working or studying intensively,
burnout is a real risk. That same research suggests that taking frequent brief breaks helps to
maintain productivity during such intense periods of concentration. For example, users of something
called the Pomodoro Technique make a point of focusing in intensive 25-minute bursts, taking a five-
minute break after every such burst. My own variation of this is to take ten minutes after an intense
50 minutes of concentration.
But what attendees of this program tell us is that they don’t feel able to take such five- or ten-
minute breaks – or even be seen to do so. So, we’re going to look at a different strategy to use what
you’ve learned so far to frequently “vent” any stress that might build up during your business day.
We’re going to introduce the “purposeful pause”.

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Script: Please sit as we have done each time we practise – upright but not stiff, feet flat on the
ground, hands in your lap, or somewhere they are comfortable, and unclasped. This time keep your
eyes open – you can divert your attention down to the floor a few feet in front of you, softening the
focus if that helps. Now, bring your attention to your seat and your feet for about 30 seconds.
Now, let’s take the six breaths we practised earlier, being mindful of making them longer on the
out-breath than the in-breath. Slow your breathing gently – not trying too hard, but aiming for as
many of those six breaths where the exhalation is longer than the inhalation.
And that’s it – that’s what we are going to call the “purposeful pause”.
This is a great way to re-establish your presence and focus in about a minute. Try it when you want
to calm yourself before you go onto an important call or a tough meeting, or maybe you’re about to
make a presentation, or even just when you’re feeling a little under pressure.
Every time you finish a task and think, “What am I going to do next?” it is another great time to take
this brief opportunity to restore your presence and attention using this technique – that’s the advice
in one of the books that I’m going to recommend to you at the end of the program. It’s written by a
very amusing guy called Don Harris, who talks about his experience with mindfulness. He talks about
the purposeful pause as being a great way to boost the “muscle of focus”.
This is a way of introducing the benefits of meditation into your day – and it’s only costing you a
minute every so often throughout your day.

Script: Let’s start practising integrating this technique into the remainder of this program. In a
moment, I’m going to hand this bell to one of your tables. And, sometime in the next hour, anyone
on that table can ring that bell – ideally not in the middle of an exercise. When that bell rings I invite
all of you to quietly take a purposeful pause – simply pausing to bring your attention just to your seat
and your feet for about 30 seconds, then take six mindful breaths, then carry on.
I’ll then pass the bell to another table and we’ll get them to do the same thing.

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Script: Let’s start by looking at emotional awareness, because emotional awareness is where
mindfulness is really useful.
In any given situation, particularly tense or challenging situations, where things are more negative
than positive, being able to tune in to all of the emotions in yourself and others, and to recognise
how those emotions are affecting behaviour and decisions, is like adding pixels to the mental picture
you form of the dynamics of any situation. It gives you greater emotional resolution and a deeper
understanding of what’s actually going on. With greater emotional resolution, you have a better
insight into behaviours and decision-making and have the capacity to make better decisions in
fraught situations.
Earlier today we looked at this definition of an emotion. Remember that an emotion is essentially a
physiological sensation that occurs in reaction to some external stimuli. Understanding and
recognising those sensations as they occur, before they have been converted into feelings by our
thinking brain, gives us greater data – greater emotional resolution.
So, let’s look at a practice to develop this capability to become more emotionally aware by building
your ability to drop into your body and recognise the sensations in your body as they occur.
What we’re trying to do is build a capability to notice emotions as they arise in the body, giving you
an opportunity to determine what they’re telling you, so that you can consciously decide how to
react before they have unconsciously influenced your behaviour or decisions.
So let’s get into our accustomed practice position: straighten your spine, but don’t stiffen up. Plant
your feet squarely on the ground, putting your hands wherever they are comfortable. Your posture
should suggest to your brain that you are preparing to be in relaxed and wakeful attention. You may
close your eyes or keep them slightly open, looking downward a few feet in front of you, with a soft
focus.
When you’re ready, work through your six breaths and seat and feet exercises.

Note: Pause.

Script: Six mindful breaths

Note: Pause.

Script: “Seat & feet”

Note: Pause.

Script: Intention
Now, connect with your intention for this practice: the intention this time is to spend time with each
part of the body in turn, developing awareness of anything going on throughout the body.

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We’re not looking for any special experience or anything unusual to happen – we just want to
observe any sensations that are currently coming and going in our bodies.

Note: Pause.

Script: Notice that your abdomen is rising and falling gently with your breath. Just notice it, don’t
change it. Allow your attention to settle on this gentle rising and falling for a short while.

Note: 30-second pause.

Script: Now, using your attention as if it were a beam of light, let’s start to move that beam of
attention to different parts of our bodies to see what’s going on there. Start by noticing the
sensations in your big toes.
Now, the rest of the toes, the soles of the feet, the heels, the top of the feet. Are there any
sensations there – hot, cold, tingling, numb, tense, relaxed? Just notice whatever is there. Simply be
aware of it – no analysis, simply noticing. If there are no sensations, then simply notice this.
If you encounter any tension or stiffness in that area, just simply let it go, gently allowing that
tension to dissolve. Settle your attention here for a few breaths.
Now, bring the beam of your attention to your ankles. What sensations are there? After a breath or
two, shift the attention to your lower legs.
What sensations are there? Just notice anything there is to notice, and notice, too, if there are no
sensations to notice.
Now, bring your attention to your knees. Don’t think about the knees, don’t visualise them, simply
open your awareness to any sensations there – hot, cold, loose, tight – whatever is there is okay. Just
notice.
Now, bring your attention to your thighs – what sensations are waiting for you there? There may be
sensations of contact between clothes and the skin, sensations of pulsing, tingling, warmth. Notice
any sensations there are to notice. There is no good or bad experience – just notice what’s going on
there.
Now, shift your attention to the hips and pelvis. Notice sensations in the right hip, the left hip and
the pelvis. Relaxing and settling into simple open awareness of whatever’s going on in that region.
Now, scan your awareness to the middle of your back, and up to the upper back and shoulder
blades. Notice if there’s any tension in the shoulders – this is where we often tense up when things
are challenging. If you notice any tension or tightness, simply let it go. Release it. Let it go.
After a few breaths, move your attention to the front of the body, to the lower abdomen, observing
what sensations are waiting for you as your attention moves into this region. Feel the changing
sensations as you breathe.
From time to time you may become restless, or worry you’re doing this wrong, or your mind might
simply get distracted. This is normal. Simply notice those feelings and distractions. Be easy on
yourself; this is not a failure, this is normal.
Acknowledge distractions and notice how they are affecting the body. Then, without judging
yourself, simply bring the attention back to where you had wanted it to be.
So, returning the attention to the abdomen, let’s just breathe for a few breaths, noticing the gentle
rising and falling of the abdomen as you breathe in and out.
Take a deep breath and notice the movement in your chest – and become aware of any sensations
there. Sit with those sensations for a few breaths.
Now, notice the sensations in your hands and arms. Notice that you can reach out your awareness
into each individual finger and notice what’s going on there. Take a few breaths to scan your
attention over the hands and arms – simply notice any sensations that present themselves.

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Now, bring the beam of your attention to your head and face. Start with your jaws and chin, then
your mouth and lips, your nostrils, the surface of your nose, your cheeks, the sides of your face, your
ears, your eyes and eyelids, your eyebrows, your forehead, the sides of your forehead and your
scalp.
Notice the sensations in the various parts of your head and face. For a few breaths, just scan around
your head and face, open to any sensations there are to be noticed. Just be aware of them.
Now, see if you can take a few breaths in and notice the entire body – holding your entire body in
the beam of your attention. The objective is simply to open up your awareness to whatever
sensations are going on in the various parts of your body. Sometimes there will be lots of sensations,
sometimes the body will seem strangely sensation-less and you’ll notice little. Either is okay – just
allow yourself to notice what sensations come and go in your body.
Sit with that for a few breaths.
Finally, release your attention to the breath and sit for a few minutes in awareness that’s open to
anything going on in or around you – there’s no need to maintain awareness of the breath. Allow
your body to relax and your mind to become calm – insofar as this is possible. Just sit quietly, calmly.

Note: 60-second pause.

Script: Okay, so let’s gently return the attention to the breath, take half-a-dozen mindful breaths
and, when the bell rings, gently open your eyes, look around, and we’ll continue.

Note: Do a quick one-minute debrief, taking a few comments in response to “what did you notice?”

Script: So, let’s take a look at the stack for that practice. We started, as always, with some slow
breathing and by bringing attention to the seat and the feet. Then we set an intention. We then
brought our attention to the breath for a few minutes – just to settle our attention; this is a great
way to break distraction, especially if you’re experiencing a little “monkey mind” after a busy day,
for example.
After a time, we then went into the body scan. We systematically moved through the body bringing
attention to different parts of the body, and bringing attention to what sensations were already
there – not straining, simply noticing anything there was to notice and, if there was nothing, then
noticing that too. The idea of this practice is to become accustomed to noticing what’s going on in
your body, knowing that this is where emotions will first show themselves – as physiological
sensations.
This practice makes it more and more normal for you to notice sensations in your body “in real time”
so that, as you’re triggered by what’s going on around you, you will become more aware of your
emotional reactions to those triggers, giving you greater emotional resolution.

Note: Click though bullets.

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Script: But there’s a bonus side effect to the body scan: it’s a fantastic tool for relaxing, for
developing your emotional awareness, and for getting rid of pent-up emotions – that stressed
feeling of, “I’ve got to get this stuff done or…” So, it’s a great way of relaxing and chilling down too.
It also provides a different slant on training your attention. Remember that the body scan works
from a narrow focus of attention, where you were focusing on one or more of your toes, up to the
full focus where you maintained attention upon your entire body. So, you are learning to focus
selectively on both a narrow and a broad basis.
The bottom line is: having greater emotional awareness helps you make better decisions.

Script: As we enter the final part of this program, you can see that we’ve covered quite a lot of
territory – we’ve gone all the way through mindfulness and the neuroscience and benefits of it. We
have looked at depth at self-awareness.
I cannot stress enough that self-awareness is the foundation of emotional intelligence because it
makes everything else possible, particularly from a leadership point of view.
To conclude the program, we are going to look at another critical aspect of leadership, and that is our
ability to self-manage and be resilient.
In particular, we will look at managing ourselves and our emotions, particularly in difficult situations.
This will help us to respond more effectively in challenging situations, and to keep stress under
control (a key skill for all leaders who are under the spotlight).
As a leader, you need to be resilient enough to deal with stress so that any success you enjoy does
not come at the cost of your health, wellbeing or peace of mind.

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Script: In this part of the program I’m going to focus on the amygdala.
Do not try this at home! If you were to stick a pen into your ear, and another one into your eye then
where they intersect would be the amygdala (there are actually two amygdalae – one on each side).
Notice the positioning – it cannot be accidental that these two organs are really close to the two
main sources of stimuli that you get from the outside world – visual and auditory. In coming from the
world around you, stimuli first reach this area of the brain, and then travel onward to the thinking
and analytical part of your brain, the prefrontal cortex or PFC. But there’s a time lag between the
time that the emotional brain is stimulated and the time the PFC becomes aware of the stimulus.
So, even before your prefrontal cortex has an opportunity to analyse the meaning of any such
incoming stimuli, the amygdala can effectively hijack your system to set off the fast-moving series of
electrical and chemical events that make up the fight or flight response, putting your body and mind
on full alert – ready to respond to the perceived threat by either fighting or fleeing.
Now, that was appropriate back in the day when there were life-threatening situations courtesy of
super-predators, like the sabre-toothed tiger, who could give us a run for our money, especially
before we managed to organise into tribes and learned to use weapons effectively for our
protection.
But, unfortunately, our limbic system does not realise that we no longer live in that sort of world,
and what we perceive as threats these days are not generally threats to our life or existence that our
amygdala evolved to deal with. For most of us, the modern world brings fewer threats to our
physical existence and wellbeing than they do to our mental health, our peace of mind and so on.
Note: Recount any story where you received a letter through the post that caused you to experience
a strong emotion upon its receipt. This could have been a letter from the tax office, a speeding fine,
some medical results or the results of an examination. Describe the psychological change you
experienced as you pulled the letter from the envelope and started to read the content.

Script: We get triggered many times daily in our business lives. We can be triggered by an
unexpected call from a client or the boss (“Oh no, what now…?”), by an email announcing a new
competitor is starting a drive in your territory, by an email that comes from the boss that says “come
to my office”, by a client asking a doubting question about the deal you felt was pretty much done

21
and dusted. All utterly different and much less-lethal situations, but all tapping into the same ancient
response.
And the problem with this for us as modern Homo Sapiens is that these reactions, which were
designed to keep us alive by narrowing our focus to a single threat, dramatically reduce our ability to
see solutions when we’re threatened in these everyday situations. Just when we’d want our minds
to be as open as possible to consider all possible ways out of situations like these, the automatic
fight or flight response makes that impossible.
To ensure we have as clear an appreciation as possible of a perceived threat, both our vision and
hearing become highly focused. So, just when it’d be useful to have input from others around us, we
raise a sort of mental drawbridge that isolates us and our thinking. First responders like police and
firefighters are trained to become aware of this sort of visual and auditory exclusion. In the absence
of such training, our entire focus can end up solely upon the initial emotion/feeling we feel when
triggered, whether that’s anger, fear, panic etc. – and not on all the possible ways we might have of
dealing with the situation.
Remember neuroplasticity? The real problem begins when you get into a period where you’re
triggered eight or ten times a week (or a day!). Your amygdala starts to see this as a default setting
– resulting in what some call a “reviving amygdala”; one that’s always just on the edge of triggering.
It’s just like a car whose engine is being revved continually. If you start a car, don’t put it in gear but
continually press the accelerator; if you “rev” it continually like our friend here, then the car goes
nowhere. But it still burns a lot of fuel, still puts wear and tear on the engine – creating a lot of noise
and exhaust pollution as it does nothing useful. See the similarity?
And when we get over-stressed by too many triggers over a period of time, our amygdala develops
hair-trigger sensitivity; it starts revving. This process is costly on our systems – driving our stress
resistance down because our body can only deal with so many incidents where it’s flooded with
adrenaline and the stress hormone cortisol, driving our heartrates sky high and switching off key
internal processes like digestion. And the chemical cocktail released into our bloodstreams can still
be triggering our bodies many hours after a perceived threat (often described by people as a
residual jitteriness or low-level anxiety).
Left unattended, the ultimate result is what’s often referred to in executive management circles as
“executive burnout”.
What we’re going to look at now is self-management.
We’ll look into how we can plan to manage ourselves so that we do not become burnt out by stress
in environments where we can fully expect we’re going to be triggered continually.

Note: Provide a definition of self-management.

Script: Turn to your results for self-management. Notice again that, like all of the other skills we’ve
reviewed in your report so far, there are seven items here. I think that the core one that you need to
be aware of, the one that all of those other items really hinge upon, is your ability to manage your
emotions effectively in difficult situations. So, let’s look at that.

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Script: To do that it’s helpful to recap on how the brain responds to triggers – expanding a little bit
on what we saw in the video earlier.
Whatever the threat, the first place it lights up is in the emotional brain, finding its way to the
amygdala via the thalamus and, if the amygdala perceives a threat, then it kicks off that whole
process of fight or flight.
At the same time as the amygdala starts to do its thing, the emotional brain sends a signal up to the
prefrontal cortex, the thinking part of the brain: “Hey, I see a snake hanging from the branch ahead.
What do you think? I’ve started the fight or flight response.” For snake, substitute email, phone call,
bank statement, etc.
That signal takes a finite amount of time to get to the prefrontal cortex. Once there, the PFC does a
logical analysis of what’s going on, and either sends the signal back down saying, “Yeah, this looks
dangerous – get us out of here, pronto!” or, “Cool it, that’s obviously nothing but a coil of vine –
cancel that fight or flight command,” sending a signal to down-regulate the response.
At the core of formulating a strategy for self-regulation is the recognition that there is some finite
amount of time between the emotional brain receiving trigger stimuli from the outside world and
responding on autopilot, and the prefrontal cortex receiving information about the same stimuli and
doing a more rational analysis of the perceived threat.
What we want to do is learn how we can manage this process so that the emotional brain doesn’t
have us running down the road of stress before the logical brain kicks in and says that there is
actually no need to be stressed.
This is important: self-regulation is NOT about avoiding painful emotions. Painful or fiery emotions
are sometimes appropriate. If you lose somebody dear to you then it’s appropriate that it should feel
painful. If somebody does something that’s absolutely against all laws of justice, well then it’s
appropriate that you should feel angry. Avoiding those natural emotions is not helpful, and neither is
denying or suppressing them. Swallowing negative emotions and pretending they don’t exist just
doesn’t do anything useful. Research shows that successful leaders tend to be very emotionally
responsive. What we want to achieve is appropriate emotional responsiveness that is under our
control.
In this section we’ll look at practices that help us deal with emotions skilfully.
There is a book that summarises absolutely perfectly what it is to manage that process. Psychologist
Viktor Frankl was a survivor of the death camps in Germany during World War II. In his book he talks
about his experience there; he talks about the people who survived that experience. What he
observed is that the people who survived that experience were the people who felt the emotional
pain that such an experience would rightfully produce in anyone, but who chose the way that they
were going to respond to it. He puts it perfectly: “…between stimulus and response there is a space,
and in that space lays our freedom and our power to choose our response…”
It’s not what happens to us that’s important but how we respond to it.
So, everyday stimuli come along and the majority of us in this world are just set to react
automatically. What we want to do instead is to create a strategy where the stimulus triggers our

23
awareness so that we can choose what we do intentionally and then respond, under control, instead
of reacting out of control. That is the very essence of dealing with stress – what psychologists call
“resilience”.

Script: There are lots of really technical descriptions and definitions of resilience – Genos describes
resilience as the following:
Resilience is defined as an individual’s ability to adapt to stress and adversity. Your level of resilience
is defined as your capacity to bounce back from a negative experience to your normal state of
functioning. Resilience is not a trait or ability you either have or don’t have. Although levels of
resilience differ from person to person, everyone is resilient and can improve their level of resilience.
Resilience is typically enhanced by systematically engaging in activities or techniques that help
facilitate good physical and mental health. Highly resilient people do experience negative emotions
and thoughts and aren’t always optimistic. They are, however, able to effectively balance negative
emotions with positive ones, and make effective responses to emotions.

Note: Facilitate a group discussion about this definition.

Suggested opening question – “What stands out for you from this definition?”

Script: If we can slow things down so that we use the PFC more effectively in trigger situations, then
we go from the reactive and unfocused approach typified by amygdala-driven behaviours, to the
more solid and productive behaviours typified by the influence of the prefrontal cortex, allowing us
to generate more ideas for usefully dealing with challenging situations, and cultivating a sense that
anything is possible.
I dare say we’d all agree with this, but when you’ve been triggered, when you’re undergoing an
amygdala hijack, it can be difficult to remember these wise words.
That’s why we need to have a formal way of dealing with triggers; a response that we can put into
practice when we become aware of being triggered.

Script: With a single additional step, the purposeful pause we’ve been using hourly since the
program started is an ideal way of dealing with triggers as they occur in the moment – when you

24
find yourself suddenly becoming angry, anxious or fearful as a result of some stimulus from
someone or something around you.
Because we have a longer practice coming up in a few minutes, one which spills into this area much
more, we won’t stop to practise this formally. But let me invite you, as I walk through this slide, to
gently bring your attention to your seat and feet, and start to take six deep, relaxing breaths. Notice
that you can do this even as you engage with me walking you through the points on the slide.
Notice if this starts to settle you a little more than you were a moment ago.

Note: Click.

Script: The key objective is to slow things down and create some time for the PFC to catch up and
take control.

Note: Click.

Script: Creating that gap that Frankl spoke about that exists between stimulus and response.

Note: Click.

Script: And allowing you to respond under control, rather than react automatically (and out of
control).

Note: Click.

Script: And the critical additional step that makes your purposeful pause useful in these trigger
situations is the development of the habit of breaking the cycle as soon as you realise you’ve been
triggered – simply stopping things to take time to take some breaths. This is often referred to as “the
sacred pause” because even a second or two’s pause can help put a really different perspective on a
fraught situation (allowing the PFC to enter the game). So, the first step in dealing with triggers is to
consciously stop yourself from dealing with them reactively – just to pause momentarily.
By the way, being human, you will sometimes find that you are deeply into reacting before you
even remember that you were supposed to pause – this is okay. Even remembering after the fact is
okay. In time you’ll establish the habit of making this conscious pause any time you’re triggered – it
takes practice!
And once you’ve paused, what then? Then it’s a purposeful pause – the same one you’ve used
throughout the program to this point.

Note: Click.

Script: Take the six breaths (focusing upon making the out-breath longer than the in-breath).

Note: Click.

Script: And bring attention to your seat and feet.

Note: Click.

Script: The minute or so it takes to do this is all your PFC needs to become involved in helping you
respond more appropriately to the challenge of the moment.

25
Script: Let’s take a moment to understand an additional medical benefit of taking those six breaths
that are at the heart of the practice we’ve just looked at.

Note: Click.

Script: Earlier we looked at the mechanism of the fight or flight response and saw the many effects
it has on our systems when it is triggered. This response is governed by our sympathetic nervous
system and, when initiated, it triggers all of the effects shown on the right of this slide. So, the
amygdala is like an on-switch for activating this entire process.
Happily, there is an off-switch: the parasympathetic nervous system, and it is triggered by something
called the vagus nerve.

Note: Click.

Script: The vagus nerve can trigger the process that completely switches off all of the effects of the
fight or flight response – restoring your system to the conditions on the left of this diagram.
As you breathe in, your heart rate naturally rises and, as you breathe out, it naturally falls. So, all you
need to do to trigger the vagus nerve to start this process is take a series of slow breaths – as we
have been doing every time we take a purposeful pause – with the out-breath ideally twice as long
as the in-breath. But perfection is not required: ANY slow breathing kicks off this process, sending
the signal to your nervous system that the threat has passed.
So, while the fight or flight response is all about survival, the so-called “rest and digest” response
triggered by the vagus nerve is all about cultivating wellbeing – thriving.

This final stack is great for maintaining your resilience in everyday interactions – for dealing with
triggers that come from external sources, such as an unpleasant confrontation with a co-worker, a
negative email, a perceived insult or put-down from a colleague or loved one, even someone cutting
you off in traffic! In those situations, bringing the sacred pause together with the purposeful pause is
a really effective strategy.
But an important dimension of building your resilience is learning to manage difficult emotions that
don’t even necessarily involve other people, or obvious external stimuli. The biggest threat to our
resilience is very often “an inside job”, coming from nothing more than runaway thoughts that can
beset us in difficult times, when our guard is down.
Feelings of anxiety or depression, fear or simply just being down, can come seemingly out of
nowhere and start a spiral of negative thinking that drags our mood down, making it hard to cope.
These sorts of difficult emotions are utterly normal – especially for those in high-pressure positions –
and they only become an issue if they are not managed effectively. To maintain a high level of
resilience it is critical to deal effectively with the difficult emotions that come from runaway
thoughts.

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At the core of many difficult emotions is a fear of failure in the broadest sense: fear that a project
won’t work out; fear that we’ll set goals and not achieve them; fear that a worsening economy could
affect our security; fear for our children’s futures; fear that a loved one won’t care for us as much as
we care for them. Fear can come in many forms, and it is utterly normal. Fear is a survival
mechanism designed to prompt us to consider whether we need to take action to prevent an
undesirable outcome. It only becomes a problem when it takes over completely, making it
impossible to see as clearly as we need to in challenging or busy times. And fear of failure of one
sort or another is a constant – in good times helping us to make the moves that get us our best
possible results, and in bad times crippling us and keeping us from taking the actions that would
otherwise get us a desirable outcome, thereby removing the cause of the fear. It pervades us at a
personal level, and even at an organisational level.
Let me ask for a show of hands: have you ever noticed your mood turn dramatically from a
reasonably settled or positive frame of mind into a negative or anxious frame of mind? What
happens? Often the stimulus is a single negative thought. That thought arises and you are probably
partly conscious of the impact of that thought in your gut – an empty or sinking feeling. The thought
becomes an emotion.
By the way, knowing what you now know about the connection between gut feelings, emotions and
thoughts, it shouldn’t surprise you to learn that, while this initial thought could be a useful warning
of the need to take some action to avoid an undesirable outcome, it could also have arisen simply
because you’re feeling a little tired, because your blood sugar has dropped and you need to eat, or
because someone said something to make you doubt yourself or become momentarily anxious.
Whatever starts the process, the thinking brain, being an analytic engine, goes through the rolodex
of your mind looking for an answer to the question: “What are all the possible reasons I might be
feeling this way?” And, of course, it’ll find plenty! The more reasons you identify to feel fearful, the
more thoughts it produces, and the more thoughts it produces, the deeper this emotional response
becomes.
If it is allowed to continue like this then the spiral sees you following thought with thought, emotion
with emotion, and things spiral out of control –the mood settles into something that can affect you
for the rest of that day – maybe even many more days beyond.
To manage such spirals, we’re going to use an approach called “stopping and dropping”.
In our previous practices we have gently but firmly returned our attention to the breath when we
notice it has been distracted by thoughts, sounds or emotions. Now, we’re going to explore a
different technique – for those occasions when we find our attention drawn repeatedly to particularly
painful thoughts or difficult emotions.
This time, instead of returning the mind from difficult thoughts or emotions, we’ll simply stop and
notice those thoughts by dropping into our bodies to see where they are showing up in the body – as
physical sensations. We’ll gently explore whether there is any tightness or contraction, any heat or
coldness, any sensation at all that is arising with these difficult thoughts and emotions.
These sensations may at first elude you – they can be subtle, or at other times very obvious.
When you’ve identified such sensations, it can help to imagine that your in-breath is going into this
area, and your out-breath is coming out of this area – I’ll talk you through this technique in the
practice.
We’re not going to try to change anything. We’re not on a mission to fix anything, but simply to
observe, with curiosity and without judgement, without diving in to too much thinking about the
difficult emotions we focus upon in this practice; just observing the sensations.
If there’s nothing particularly troubling on your mind right now then please take a moment to bring
to mind some recent time when you experienced difficult thoughts or emotions. Please don’t pick on
anything that is too traumatic – rather something that is troubling you or something that has
troubled you, but that you’re comfortable exploring again for a few minutes. Please don’t bring
anything to mind that would evoke emotions that you’d find difficult to deal with here in the room.

27
Maybe you’ve been worrying about something, or perhaps you said something you wish you hadn’t.
Perhaps someone said something that upset you.
Take a moment or two to think of something suitable.

Script: Start by sitting in a posture that suggests your intention to remain alert but relaxed
throughout this practice. Sit up straight –not stiffly – but as if your head is being pulled gently upright
by an invisible cable. Allow your spine to lift and your shoulders to relax. You should be upright but
relaxed.
Put your hands wherever they feel comfortable – in your lap or on your thighs.
Place your feet flat on the floor, legs uncrossed and relaxed.
You may close your eyes or keep them slightly open, looking downward a few feet in front of you,
with a soft focus.

Note: Pause.

Script: Six mindful breaths

Note: Pause.

Script: “Seat & feet”

Note: Pause.

Script: Now, connect with your intention for doing this practice. The intention of this practice is to
learn how to sit with difficult emotions, exploring them and finding a way to be with them that is
more comfortable for you.

Note: Pause.

Script: Begin by taking a long breath in, and a long breath out. Now, direct your attention to your
breath.
Notice the in-breath, notice the out-breath.
When thoughts, sensations or sounds arise, simply return your focused attention to the breath.

Note: Pause for 60 seconds.

Script: Breathing in, breathing out.

Note: Pause for 30 seconds.

28
Script: Now, scan your attention up and down your body, paying attention to any areas where there
are noticeable sensations. When you come across a sensation, simply stay with it for a moment or
two, gently exploring how it shows up in your body. Label them simply; for example, “hot”, “cold”
“tingling”, “tight”, “loose”, “sharp”, etc. All the time, simply notice these sensations – don’t try to
change them, other than perhaps consciously letting go of any tightness or tension you notice in
those regions. Just notice them – are they hot, cold, tight, loose, tingling, vibrating? Just notice.

Note: Pause for 2 minutes.

Script: Now, allow yourself to become aware of any sounds in your immediate environment,
allowing your attention to go to whichever of those call to you most strongly. All the time simply
noticing them but not becoming lost in them, or having thoughts about them. Simply observe with
curiosity and awareness.
Thoughts may also call to your attention – allow yourself to notice such thoughts and, again, to
explore them with curiosity, but without getting lost in them.
Simply allow your attention to go where it is drawn – but all the time remaining present to what is
in the field of your awareness.

Note: Pause for 2-3 minutes.

Script: Now, I invite you to recall to mind the incident we spoke about where you have recently
dealt with difficult thoughts or emotions. Bring that incident into the laboratory of your mind to
investigate it a little. Allow yourself to go back to that time, experiencing the incident again, as if it
is being replayed with you in it.
As you do so, simply drop the beam of your attention to wherever you most noticeably experience
any physical sensations that come along with the thoughts or emotions that arise.
See if you are able to move closer to whatever feelings arise in your body. Tune in to these physical
sensations, intentionally directing the focus of your attention to the region of the body where these
sensations are strongest, breathing into that part of the body on the in-breath and breathing out
from it on the out-breath.
Explore the sensations, simply noticing how they might come and go, ebb and flow, as you re-
experience the incident. Try not to engage with the incident itself, but rather confine your attention
to the comings and goings of the emotions and their associated sensations.
Remember, we’re not trying to fix anything; just to observe what’s going on in the body – bringing
some curiosity to them.

Note: Pause.

Script: If you find yourself becoming a little upset then remind yourself that this is okay – it is normal
to sometimes experience emotions that are not pleasant. It’s normal, and nothing to run from.
Simply devote your entire attention to the sensations – watching them as they come and go, as
dispassionately as you might watch clouds moving across a clear sky, and feeling no need to do
anything other than note their presence and nature.

Note: Pause.

Script: You may find yourself resisting these feelings – it’s normal not to want to experience them.
You may wish to reassure yourself that it’s okay not to want to experience unpleasant emotions, at
the same time noting that they are really just simple physical sensations that will come and go
anyway.

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On each in-breath, allow the word “calm” to arise in your mind. On each out-breath, consciously
relax any tension you become aware of anywhere in the body – perhaps noting such tension as
“tension” and letting it go as you say “relax” or “softening” quietly in your mind on the out-breath.
See if you can use each in- and out-breath to bring you closer to sitting calmly and without reaction
to these sensations – simply noting their ebb and flow, staying aware of them coming and going, but
choosing not to engage with them in mind or body.

Note: Pause.

Script: If you become lost in thought, or if you find you’ve tuned out of these sensations and this
incident, then you have a choice: either bring the difficulty back to mind again, or allow your
attention to settle upon the breath – whichever feels right to you now.

Note: Pause for 3-4 minutes.

Script: Now, bring your attention back to settle lightly upon the breath for a minute or two.

Note: Pause for 1-2 minutes.

Script: When I ring the bell, please bring your attention back into the room, seeing whether you can
shift the attention from your breath to the room, all the time remaining attentive and present.

Note: Ring.

Script: Well, how was that; what did you notice?

At the core of this practice is nothing more complex than a simple pattern-interruption approach.
When we notice the spiral pattern starting, we simply bring awareness to the physical sensations
associated with the rising emotions.
There’s no attempt to push the emotions down, or to ignore them – the aim is simply to observe
them playing out physiologically, with curiosity and openness. Just bringing your awareness to, or
acknowledging, an emotion is frequently enough to stop your mind spinning on it and stop the
spiral. Notice that part of this practice was labelling the emotion – putting a name to it. The practice
is designed to create a positive habit of responding to these runaway thoughts by simply bringing
attention to them and labelling them.
In David Rock’s book, Your Brain at Work, he talks about the neuroscientific reasons why simply
labelling emotions in this way deprives them of their ability to dump your mood.
The effect is completely comprehensible: first, by labelling such sensations you move your brain
activity out of the emotional brain and into the more logical cortex; then, by making it a habit to
continually bring attention to the fact that emotions are no more than physiological sensations that
pass through oneself on an ongoing basis, it provides the increasing insight that it is more correct to
think, “I have some anxiety in me”, or, “there is some fear here”, than to think, “I’m anxious” or
“I’m afraid”. This ability to step away from identifying with emotions, and the thoughts they cause
to rise, allows you to simply notice emotions coming and going, to notice that they automatically
create an ongoing stream of thoughts in their wake, without feeling the need to credit those
thoughts with any particular ability to affect your mood or circumstances. The insight or realisation
that “these are just thoughts” is a valuable breakthrough in managing your resilience.
Here’s what that practice looked like – the first four steps were our usual approach to settling into a
session: six breaths, seat and feet, setting an intention for the session, and bringing the attention to
our breath for a few minutes. This settled the runaway mind a little. Building a short body scan on
top of that stack opened up your awareness to what was going on in the body at the outset – how

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these thoughts and emotions were playing out. Finally, we brought attention to the specific
physiological manifestations of those thoughts and emotions – labelling them and simply observing
them with curiosity, not trying to change them at all.
This is an easy practice to understand, but a more difficult one to put into practice in the moment.
When you’re beset by these runaway thoughts, you may find it challenging to trust that if you break
from the cycle long enough to implement the practice it’ll help. It will!
A final point I want to make really clear is that it’s okay to feel down or negative sometimes. That’s
utterly normal. Being upbeat, positive and without anxiety every waking moment is less so! So it’s
not a bad thing that sometimes you don’t feel positive. The reality is there are going to be days
when you feel down and depressed, and there are going to be days when you feel positive and
upbeat. The practice is about learning not to cling too tightly to those positive days, becoming so
attached to those that you can’t function when things are not perfect, and not to be so averse to
feeling down that those days when you do you are crippled. It’s actually okay to feel down
sometimes; it doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong, it’s just a cycle, and we don’t necessarily
have to fix it.
We just want to learn to manage these spirals so that our reaction is appropriate and proportionate,
and we don’t find ourselves too crippled by fear or anxiety that we fail to take the steps that would
have relieved them.

So, when you find yourself under pressure, the essence of self-management is simply stopping and
slowing things down to allow your logical brain to have a say; recognising that emotions, and the
thoughts that cause them to arise, will come and go – and you don’t have to come and go with
them. Emotions are just emotions; thoughts are just thoughts – they only have the weight we choose
to accord to them.
Begin to establish the practice that, when triggered by something or someone external, you deploy
the “sacred pause” and the purposeful pause – giving yourself time to figure out an appropriate
response. And again, that’s not to say that you cut off from your emotions; if the situation demands
that you be angry or fearful then that’s how you should be – but this should be a considered
response, and not an autopilot reaction.
When difficult emotions trigger you, as they do everyone at some time or other, then develop the
practice of taking some time to sit, settle and bring attention to the emotions, noticing where they
manifest in the body, examining them with curiosity, and labelling them (“there’s some anxiety”;
“I’m noticing some fear”). Remind yourself that emotions come and go, they will always generate
thoughts, but that those thoughts have no particular validity in and of themselves.
The practices are very straightforward – but it takes time to make them habitual. Be patient; be kind
to yourself and give yourself time to establish them as your normal way of being. It took you a long
time to establish your current way of dealing with these situations – you won’t undo that in a day.
So that’s the end of the section on self-management.

Script: We’ve come a long way, and we’re ready to start pulling everything together.

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To conclude the program, I encourage you to prepare to have follow-up conversations with your
team members who offered you feedback as part of your Genos EI Assessment. At Genos, we call
these conversations “response sessions” as they’re your opportunity to respond to your feedback.
This a powerful step in signalling your intention to develop your emotionally intelligent leadership.
To commence this process, everyone in this room has been given feedback via their assessment
report and we have a choice as to how to respond to the feedback we have been given.
Let’s go over a set of tips for effectively responding to your feedback. This is an important first step
in developing your emotionally intelligent behaviour, and an activity that can help you clarify and
validate aspects of your feedback and the actions you are planning to take in response.

Note: Go over the “Responding to your Feedback” tips in the workbook (and shown in the back of
the report) and answer any questions that arise.

Note: Highlight that at the back of the participant workbook is a results summary page, and suggest
that this can be used to finalise the action planning.

Script: The following practice activity is an excellent opportunity to apply the mindfulness techniques
that have been explored during the program. By stacking these techniques covered in this program,
we can ready ourselves for the “response session” conversations and, in doing so, help us remain
focused about what we hear.

Script: The stack I’d like you to use for these practice conversations is shown on this slide:
o Six breaths – to settle and prepare for the conversation.

o Seat and feet – to ground yourself in the conversation.

o Set an intent for the conversation; for example, “I want to deepen my understanding about my
results by listening closely to what my team member has to share with me on these topics.”
o Attention to colleague – to maintain focus during the conversation on what is being said.

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The primary purpose of this exercise is to build a deeper understanding about your feedback and to
do this I want you to listen mindfully. Let me tell you what I mean formally by mindful listening. I’m
going to get you to do exactly the preparation you would do if you were going to start meditating;
that is:
o sit comfortably upright,

o work through the seat and feet exercise, and then

o take six breaths.
This time, however, you’re not going to be watching your breath; instead, the object for your focus
will be the person you are talking to. Your partner replaces your breath. It’s the same process: every
time you notice that your attention is wandering away from the person that you’re talking to, I invite
you to notice and gently return it back. It’s exactly the same as if you were watching the breath,
except you’re intentionally placing your attention on the person who’s speaking to you.
As we have practised before, be alert to any loss of focus you experience in this exercise and gently
escort yourself back to the conversation, non-judgementally and purposefully.

Script: For the actual conversations, I’d like you to re-visit your assessment reports and select two
insights – these could be the things you explored earlier in the program using the matrix on this
slide.
You may recall we looked at the things you expected, the things that were unclear and the things
you need more information about. They could also be your strengths – in fact, anything you feel is
important to your leadership and you would like more information about.
You may also want to draw ideas for actions you could take in response to your feedback from your
Development Tips Workbook. This could also constitute a key part of your follow-up conversation.
If you think about your results representing the “what”; what you are currently doing with your EI,
this workbook represents the “how”; the how to improve.

Script: Where possible, buddy-up with someone in the room who is familiar with your workplace
behaviour; these people will be able to offer you the most valuable feedback.

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Note: Allow five minutes for preparation and ten minutes for each conversation. After ten minutes,
swap roles and repeat.
Note: For those unable to pair with someone they know, or if they feel they are not ready to
practise the response conversation, encourage a conversation that takes a planning form. For
instance, in these conversations, participants can ask each other:
o What aspects of your feedback do you plan to explore?

o What development actions are you planning to take?

o Who will you meet?

o What questions will they ask?

Debrief by asking:
o What worked well?
o What was challenging?

o Any additional insights you obtained from this activity about your EI behaviour?
o Any insights about what you will need to be most mindful about when holding one of these
conversations with your manager, a peer or direct reports?
Conclude by asking the group to think about their raters and who they are going to seek feedback
from, when they will meet with them and the things they will be most mindful about in these
conversations.

Script: We are now very close to having covered the formal content of the program. We have
covered all that we set out to cover when we started this morning.
But, as important as covering that content is, figuring out what to do from this point – how to take
the practices you’ve learned and integrate them back into your everyday business life – is just as
important.
My experience of doing programs like these over the years is that people go away from them with
the best intentions in the world. They really do plan to make changes in their lives, but somehow life
just gets in the way – and frequently there is no change whatsoever.
So, what we are going to do before you graduate out of the program is to look at how you can
integrate your practices into your life.
We’ve spoken a lot in this program about the importance of acting intentionally – not simply being
pulled along mindlessly by the currents of life. So, if you’re serious about making any changes as a
result of this program, the first logical step is to set a formal intention to do so. Do it right now –
resolve that you will make some changes. Set that firm intent now.
Next, you should consider when you can fit these practices into what I’m sure is already a full day.
Will they fit first thing in the morning just after you get out of bed, before you climb in the shower?
Or, might it suit you better to find a way to take some time just after you arrive at work? This will be
practical for some, not for others.
Perhaps you’d be more comfortable scheduling them in at the end of your day, either before you
leave the office or after you arrive home?
Then, consider how much time you can invest in this right now. Ten minutes a day won’t kill
anyone’s schedule – and it’s enough to make an impact if it’s daily. Anything is better than nothing
and, in general, a small amount frequently has more value than large amounts infrequently.
There is no “one size fits all” time – so suit yourself. My advice, however, is to decide now – you can
change it later. If you leave it until later then experience suggests to me that it’ll never get off the
long finger. Set an intent and make a commitment now.

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Most of us have too much to do and too little time to do it. In the beginning, while the habit is new,
at the first bit of resistance you are going to feel, “I just don’t have time for this” – that’s normal.
Push through.
We’re giving you a booklet that summarises the key practices we introduced in this program, and
will make available audio recordings of each mindful practice covered in this program.

I’d suggest that you take just one of these practices per week for six of the days in that week – just
to explore it. For example, for next week you could use the stack for focusing on your breath: start
with the six slow breaths, settle with seat and feet, and then simply bring your attention to the
breath for ten minutes or so.
Next week you might look at the body scan. Everyone is different, and different practices work in
different ways for people. Find out which feel most useful and comfortable to you. Until you have a
sense of what most suits your particular requirements, you can cycle through them like this, or
simply apply the one that feels most “you”.
What you’ll learn as you build experience with the different practices is that there are times when
one practice is best for you, and other times when another suits you best. Mix and match them to
suit what feels right to you.
The reason we put them together as LEGO bricks was so that you could build your own stack to suit
whatever you need in your life today.
Recognise that a program like this is just an appetiser – it just scratches the surface of the sort of
exploration you can do on this topic. To keep your practice varied and interesting, read books on the
topic, and experiment. Maintain an attitude of “beginner’s mind” – be open to learning more about
yourself and the practices that suit you (before we finish today I’ll suggest some books you can start
with).
But most of all, I suggest you do something, anything, rather than do nothing. If all you feel ready to
really commit to today is introducing a one-minute purposeful pause every hour of your day, then
know that even with this small change you’ll see a benefit.
Do something, do anything to change things. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep
getting what you’re getting!

Note: Optionally, you might want to create a slide that summarises your practice; for example:
This is the stack that I put together to fit my current needs. I always start with six breaths, followed
by the seat and feet – this settles me and starts to break the distraction of the thoughts I’ll have
carried into the practice. I then set an intention, usually a two-fold intention: on one hand I set an
intention for the practice, and then I set an intention for the goals I have for that day and the future
at large. This simply brings my mind back to focusing on what I can do in the present.
I then do a brief body scan and segue into 15 minutes focused upon the breath. This brings me back
to focus upon the coming day.

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Note: I strongly suggest you read the books discussed below so that you are able to answer
questions that arise.

Script: Here are some of the suggestions on further reading.

Daniel Goleman’s books are absolutely the seminal works on emotional intelligence, but while they
are really, really good, and they are loaded with research, they are not the most appealing bedtime
reading.
The ones you’ll find very much easier to read are books like Your Brain at Work by David Rock. Dan
Harris’ 10% Happier is a really humorous and at times irreverent look at the journey of a well-known
news anchor in the United States who had a breakdown on TV and used mindfulness to get his life
back on track.
Search Inside Yourself by Chade-Meng Tan lays out details of the famous Google program, talking
through the content of their two-day mindfulness program for leaders.
The Emotional Life of Your Brain by Sharon Begley and Richard Davidson is really a great read – it
talks about the research on the function of your brain, and the impact mindfulness has upon it. The
language in this book is really accessible.
Finding Peace in a Frantic World is the book that we always recommend to people if they’re looking
for a program to get started on mindfulness. If you want to establish a strong mindfulness practice
without having to think too much about how to do this, then the program in this book is perfect.
Williams and Penman present a program that works over an eight-week period. You read one
chapter a week, and the accompanying CD, or MP4 downloads, which come free with the book, give
you one practice per week for eight weeks. The practices are typically about ten-minutes long and
their recommendation is that you practise each for six of the seven days in the eight weeks of their
program. It’s a really excellent work.
Finally, James Doty’s Into the Magic Shop. Doty is an American neurosurgeon and his book is part-
biography, part-memoir, and very much talks about how to apply mindfulness to your life, along
with details of his own practices (for which he has associated recordings online).
Any of these books are worth reading. If asked about a reading order, I’d suggest: Finding Peace in a
Frantic World, Your Brain at Work, The Emotional Life of Your Brain, Into the Magic Shop, Search
Inside Yourself and 10% Happier.

Script: Here are two more invaluable resources.

This first one is a meditation timer – with several other great features built in. It is available for free
from the Insight Mediation Center in Boston – simply search for “Insight Meditation Timer” in the
equivalent of the App Store for your phone. It has a very flexible timer combined with hundreds of
excellent guided meditations of all kinds. It’s a really useful app because the last thing you need to
be doing when meditating is opening one eye to check the clock!
During the program, we have been practising this idea of the purposeful pause – stopping briefly
when the bell was rung throughout the program. There is an app from The Potential Project, again
free. Its built-in timer is not as good as the Insight app, but it has an excellent feature that allows

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you to set it to ring a random bell throughout your day on whatever frequency you want. This is a
really great way to start bringing yourself into the present more often during your working day.

I invite you to start integrating mindfulness into your life by bringing mindful attention to something
you probably do every morning on autopilot: brushing your teeth.
Here’s how to do it…
First, to stop your “inner voice”, your thinking mind, from running on, start by pausing briefly to take
two or three slow breaths, deliberately opening your awareness to your surroundings. Set an
intention to be mindful through the whole time you’re brushing your teeth. Don’t overthink this;
approach it as if you were someone else watching you brushing your teeth – just observing what’s
going on, without commentary or judgement of what each moment of brushing the teeth is like. The
objective is simply to notice what’s going on throughout the whole process.
This will be no different to your experience when you sat down to meditate this morning – you’ll get
distracted by thoughts. That’s normal! Don’t try to stop the thoughts or force them out, just notice
when you fall into thinking, and then gently return your attention to the task in hand.
Any time you are aware of your thinking then you’re not becoming lost in it. Mindfulness is
becoming aware of your thinking and your thoughts, without becoming lost in them. You’re
observing rather than participating – that’s what mindfulness is all about.
In any moment that you’re aware of your thinking, you are not caught in that thinking, which means
you can be aware of what else is happening while you brush your teeth.
Notice what the brush feels like moving across your teeth and gums; notice the taste of the
toothpaste; notice your hand and arm position as they go about doing a task you’ve done hundreds
of times before. This time, notice it all as it unfolds.
What sounds are there around you? What thoughts are coming and going in your head? Where is
your attention drawn to?
Don’t try too hard – be curious rather than strained.
And every time you find you’ve become distracted, if you suddenly realise that you’ve become lost
in your thinking, then simply mentally note “thinking” and gently return your attention to the task in
hand.
If you are concerned that you won’t remember to do this then, when you get home, create a cue –
put a blank Post-It on the mirror, set up your toiletries in some unusual configuration that will grab
your attention, or put some thumbtacks beside your bed so that you’ll step on them as you rise
(okay, maybe too extreme!) – but do something that will remind you of the task.
Set an intention to do this for the next week or two – so that it becomes habitual.
After doing it for a week or so it’ll become normal. Once it does, then even if you don’t take formal
time to practise, you’ll have created a mindful start to every day – training your attention to remain
in the present moment every morning of your life (integrating your dental hygiene with your mental
hygiene). And all with no extra investment of time – a great return on investment!
At the end of the program I’ll suggest that you add another routine task to your practice every few
weeks – perhaps your showering routine, how you put your makeup on, or how you shave, etc.
After a few months you’ll have a mindfulness practice that is fully integrated into your life – you’ll be
living more intentionally and more mindfully than you ever have before.

Questions

Game changing for business. Life changing for people. © 2018 Genos International 72

Note: Facilitate a Q&A session about the program, and bring the program to a close by thanking the
participants for their contribution to the program.

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