I was in a relationship for about 2 and a half years.

We never really fought, but I never felt he was serious

or dedicated. I broke up with him once for a lack of dedication (felt like I was putting in 80% while he put
in 20%), got together again, then broke up again.

I refuse to start a relationship with him again unless he shows he has changed (doubtful) but once again,
me being very lonely, I have flirted with him and remained more close than ex's should.
But I want to date. In fact I have a first date soon so have avoided my ex a bit and not talked to him as
much. But I still feel trapped! He is too close, as in if he knew I had a date he would probably be pretty
upset even though he knows we are not in an official relationship.
I have known him so long so it’s so hard to just cut this out, but I don’t know what to do. Friend wise, he
is great but the fact I have been in a previous relationship with him and get lonely, I am scared I will just
keep going back to him for comfort. And if I told him to stop talking to me, I think he would be pretty
hurt...
Would love some advice!

I have been seeing this amazing man. He is one of the best men I've ever dated. For the two months we
have been seeing each other, his intentions always seemed clear to me and I never pressured him or
forced anything out of him. We've met each other's families and he invites me out with his friends
constantly. Honestly everything seems to be going very well.

My only problem is that he hasn't officially asked me to be his girlfriend, so I don't know what to say to
people when I introduce him. I'm scared to ask him why because like I said, I don't want to pressure
him or risk scaring him off. At the same time, I'm feeling insecure. I've had trust issues in the past and
while I don't think he is anything like my previous boyfriends, I have a difficult time seeing past my
dwelling because I keep getting let down.
So do you think things are on the right track? That maybe this is just all in my head? If so, how have
you gotten over you relationship insecurities? I need a little perspective I think. I don't want to be
freaked out for no reason, but I really like this guy and I want things to work out. Thank you.

I'm in love with my ex. We talk several times a week, hook up regularly and have done for more than a
year- basically since we broke up. He's cold and distant and at times when we meet up I feel unwanted and
like i've become a "friends-with-benefits" situation, but when I confront him and tell him we could just
stop seeing each other he becomes indignant and hurt. His parents still think we're together and he takes
me along to family events and we hang out with his friends regularly.

I cannot stress how much I love him despite the heartbreak, confusion etc.. He's a straighforward guy,
gives me straight answers, admits when he's slept with other women, says honestly he doesn't love me
anymore. But we can't seem to break free of each other. When we are together we have a great time, fancy
dinners, cinema trips, sailing etc

My family and friends are very against me seeing him and it's causing a huge rift.
How do I stop this and either break free or turn it into a relationship again? I'm not going to lie- I do want
to get back with him despite everything

iSLCollective.com
 My boyfriend of 3.5 years left me in March this year saying that he no longer loved me as we argued
too much and didn't get on. I was devastated as he was stepdad to my 5 year old child as well as my
partner. He wouldn't even consider a break or a few months apart. He just wanted out completely.

Just 2 weeks later and he's in another relationship with this girl who has 5 children by different men
and has been rumoured to use hard drugs. All I keep hearing is how happy they are together. But his
close friends have told me that he has changed and is not in his right mind at the moment.
I’ve seen them together with her brood of kids in the park the other day and it killed me seeing him act
like a father to her kids but not even give a thought to the child he brought up as his own! My daughter
didn't understand why we couldn't go over and speak to him. I went home that day and cried my heart
out.
It's been 4 months since we split up and I'm still as devastated as the day we split up. What hurts most
is the way he has just moved on so quickly. Shortly before we split we talked about marriage. And now
I have nothing. I just don't know what to do. I am completely and utterly broken. I'm 29 and he is 28

I met this girl through mutual friends. I was attracted to her straight away and it felt like she was interested
in me too, there was definitely a spark between us.

However... right from the start she said she had a boyfriend so I kept a fair distance.
A few days ago, she said that some friends had blown her off to go to the cinema and did I want to go
instead. I said yes, trying not to think too much of it.
At the cinema, I got carried away and basically lent in to kiss her and she kissed me back. I thought that
meant that she must have broken up with her boyfriend, but she's still with him!
I feel like such a complete idiot. I thought that maybe it was one of those expired relationships where
you're just together for the sake of it, but he called her while we were together so there's obviously still
something left.
It's such a cliché, she says she isn't happy etc. etc. but... she's still with this guy so what does it matter?
I've not felt this way about a girl in a really long time and now I don't know what to do.
It would be hard to cut her off because I'd still have to see her if I want to stay friends with my friends!
And part of me doesn't want to cut her off, I really like her.
Do I have any chance of actually being with her, or do I just have to accept I'll be the 'other guy' if
anything?

I’ve been with my boyfriend for six months but i don’t think our relationship is going anywhere and there are
various issues. He is very clingy, tells me he loves me all the time and texts me 24/7, which being an independent
person feels very suffocating. He also has a habit of making me feel bad about myself. I don't know how to break
up with him because he thinks he is perfect, as he’s very arrogant, and he doesn't think there is anything wrong
with the way the relationship is going. He has also told me that he would never break up with me unless i
cheated on him, which makes me feel burdened with the task of ending our relationship when there are obvious
problems with his behaviour. He has minor obsessive behaviour and can be manipulative, i know as soon as i
break up with him he'll beg for another chance and make me feel sorry for him. My friends really dislike him and
keep telling me that i should break up with him. I don't want to sound horrible but im just not attracted to him
anymore and when we spend time together i find myself getting bored. I know its not fair on both of us if i keep
feeling this way and don't end the relationship, i just don't know how to tell him that its over as i know he'll take
it badly.

iSLCollective.com
 I was in a very similar equally as toxic relationship and I left it as long as I could dreading their reaction… It's not
going to happen for you, so the sooner you deal with it, the sooner you can both move on and heal and grow
from the experience.

And as for cutting her off, you can still hang with friends and around her, but you NEED to step back
from anything further. But I'd cut ALL texting/phone calls and just be polite if she is around, not engage
in any one-on-one activities.
Don't be a douche.

This leads me to believe that he'd wanted "out" for a long time and just now finally came to the breaking point and
left. It also makes me think that he was already talking to this lady and was interested (or messing around with her)
for awhile…. I hope that you'll be able to find something positive to fill the void of time you'd normally spend with
him. what about friends you need to catch up with?

It's not that the two of you can't break from each other, it's that you can't break free of him; he knows that and so he's
willing to string you along for as long as you're willing to let him, which would appear to be indefinitely.

In his mind you are dating he just doesn't realise that he has to make it " official" because he is a man, he doesn't
realise that you want to hear the actual words. When it comes to relationships and matters of the heart men
perfer to communicate through actions rather than words and don't hold the same importance to labels that we
women do so they don't realize we like to hear them. A couple of well-placed hints should do the trick.

My suggestion is, if you truly want to start dating others and moving on from him, then go ahead. Don't sit there and
think up scenarios and over think about how he will react to this and that. Doesn't mean you have to tell him
everything, you don't owe it to him to report to him who you go out with. However, be sure that you are going out to
meet people because you truly want to and can put in 100%... don't do this because you want to get your ex's
attention and are fishing for a response from him.

iSLCollective.com