An introspective solo-rpg

Written and Illustrated by Brian Tyrrell

CONTENTS
2 — 10 11 — 19
How to Play Bonus Playbooks

20
That Which Stares Back
HOW TO PLAY

STOP
Look into a mirror.
Study your features. Think about your
past, where you have been, who you
are now.
Trace the outline of your face. Draw
the features you think are most
important.
For example, your nose, a particular
patch of psoriasis, an earring, your split
ends, a lolling tongue.

2
/

3
HOW TO PLAY

SHIFT
While playing this game, shift your
stance. Look at the outline at a 45°
angle, so that you cannot see your face
reflected in the outline

4
/

5
HOW TO PLAY

REFLECT
Choose prompts from the list below to
reflect on, or make your own. Consider
how your life has changed. For each
prompt considered, add a new feature
or alter an existing one on your outline.
- Who hurt you?
- Why did you do it?
- What makes you sweat?
- How did it go down?
- Who have you hurt?
- When did you last have regrets?
- Why are you wearing that?
- Who do you think you are?
- What last made you cry?
- How do you show your love?
- What next?

6
/

7
HOW TO PLAY

STARE
BACK
When you are ready once again
looking at your outline straight on,
aligning it over your face.
Think about your past, where you have
been, and who you are now.

8
/

9
HOW TO PLAY

MOVE ON
To end the game, slowly inhale for four
counts, and hold your breath for four
counts. Erase the outline as you slowly
exhale for six counts.

10
/

11
PLAYBOOKS

REVERENT
You don’t have to destroy your outline
when you finish playing this game.
Sometimes beauty isn’t fleeting.

12
/

13
15
14
/
PLAYBOOKS
DOPPELGANGER
You can play this game with an image of
someone or something else.
Trace over the image (e.g. with a digital app or
a separate piece of paper), and then remove
the image while you are reflecting.
Replace it when you are ready to end the
game.
PLAYBOOKS

SC
ULP TURE

If you’ve got the skill

/ arm length / a pen
on a stick / a photo
of yourself, you can
play this game by
drawing a full outline
of your body, instead of
focusing on your face.
16
/

17
19
18
/
PLAYBOOKS

V
I S
C E
R
AL
You can create an outline by
writing, instead of drawing.
Start by writing a single sentence
that physically describes yourself.
Add to it as you complete prompts.
You could include adjectives:
- add sentences
- expand metaphors
- change fonts
- modify the spelling or grammar
- or do whatever comes to mind.
When you are ready, read the final
text out loud.
Then tear it up or delete it.
Author Comments.
I’ve been struggling to sleep the last two weeks. The idea for
Stare Back drifted into my head at 1am, and fleshed out the
majority of the text in my Notes app over about half an hour.
The next day I revised my notes (but—surprisingly—most of the
text was coherent), and sat on it. The next day I did all of the
artwork, and was wracked by an onslaught of anxious thoughts:
- is the layout any good?
- should I hand draw the whole thing?
- oh god, I haven’t drawn anything in months, I’m so rusty
- these colours are awful
- everyone will hate this
I really enjoy designing TTRPGs, and this is my first solo-play
game. I mean, I feel so fulfilled when I’m writing, drafting
mechanics, plotting my shows. It’s everything I’ve ever wanted.
Even then, depression can still get the better of me.
I don’t think I consciously designed this as a horror game. When
I tweeted the concept out, everyone seemed to think it was. I
mean, I get it, looking in the mirror this year has been hard., and
it’s not just cause none of us have had hair cuts.
I hope Stare Back can help spark some positive personal
reflections.
I’ve been inspired by a lot of creators throughout 2020, and
I hope to keep growing my indie library in 2021. Shout out to
my editor, Vi, who didn’t work on this but has dramatically
contributed to the eloquence of my TTRPG design this year.
Brian x