BC-T321WSB-3

HW4.2

STEP 1: Complete and present your Identity Wheel as a pie chart.

My name is Đoan Thanh. I am an 18 female and entirely Vietnamese. I am currently a freshman. I do not follow
religion on paper, but I believe in astrology and am enthusiastic about psychology. My mother tongue is
Vietnamese, but I am also fluent in English, and I have dabbled in Germany recently. My family's financial
status is stable and comfortable. I am the firstborn in my nuclear family, and I am also an aunt to two nephews
and one niece in my extended family. I love music and anything relating to it so I can sing and dance a little bit.
I am curious about the outside world and willing to try new things.

STEP 2: Think about a communication breakdown you had. Who did it involve (communication partner
aka CP)? What happened? Describe the situation.
The communication partner that I have plenty of communication breakdowns with is my father, unfortunately.
One of the most memorable ones was when I was in middle school. He asked me to go buy some flowers to put
on the altar. I indeed managed to get the kind of flowers that he wanted, but they were not very bloomed. He
criticized me for buying such a bunch of withered flowers, and in response, I tried to explain that it was the
most blooming bouquet in the shop. But to his reaction, he assumed that I had talked back to him, that I was
being disrespectful. He then repeatedly lectured me about how to be well-behaved by keeping silent and
listening to the elders.
STEP 3: Explain your perception of the situation (and further reaction to it) filtered through: aspects of
your Identity Wheel; your self-concept; your values/worldview; your emotional state at that moment;
your physical condition at that moment.
In the lens of a middle-schooled kid, I absolutely did not foresee that my carefree response could result in such
a communication breakdown. I did not know how he could interpret my reply into such a thing. I was
simultaneously confused at how the conversation had escalated into deep tension. In my perception, I purely
explained why I had chosen that bouquet of flowers in that situation.
As a first child, I was raised more strictly than my brother, so I would be used to being told off by my parents.
However, this context took me by surprise because I did not see it coming. Additionally, as a female, I was kind
of sensitive. At that very moment, I was filled with pent-up anger since I believed that I did nothing to deserve
my father’s wrath. After many years of being a Vietnamese, I have known how sacred the altar is to Vietnamese
culture. Therefore, the flowers for the altar need to be fresh, but my child version did not consider that factor.
Moreover, viewing this conversation now from a young adult point, I realize that I need to talk to the elders in a
more formal ways by show more respect in my intonation.

STEP 4: What do you know about the filters above for your CP in that situation? Assume your CP’s
perception based on: aspects of their Identity Wheel; their personality traits; their values/worldview;
their emotional state at that moment; their physical condition at that moment.
My father asked me for a favor in the context, and I did not exceed his expectation. He did not accept how
withered the flowers were, and I was being disrespectful in his perception. He then decided to go off about it
and threw a tantrum.
Due to my father's background, he is the fourth son in a family of eight siblings. He was also strictly disciplined
by my paternal grandfather and would be scorned if he did something wrong. Since this is the parental method
that my father has received, he applied it to me by criticized my action. Back in time when he was born,
showing respect to the elders was crucial and a morally must-do. That is the reason why my father immediately
told me off, although there was only a vivid hint of informality. In addition, he was brought up in a family with
a strong worshipping of the ancestors. My paternal family has a strict and careful list of what to do and not do
when it comes to the altar. Consequently, my father did not accept the withered flowers that I bought.