RULES OF THE ROAD

We have said that home is what the English have instead of social skills; now we'll see how they
cope when they venture outside their castles.
PUBLIC TRANSPORT RULES.
The Denial Rule
. The main coping mechanism of the English on public transport is denial: they avoid
acknowledging that they are among a scary crowd of strangers by pretending that they don't exist
and by believing to be invisible. They avoid talking to strangers, or even make eye contact with
them, and at the same time, they avoid drawing attention to themselves. It is common for English
commuters to make their train journeys with the same group of people for many years without
exchanging a word. According to the majority of English people, even a brief nod would be too
intimate between two commuters who see each other every day, because once you start greeting
people like that, you could end up actually talking to them, and if you do it once, you are expected
to do it everyday. This, according to the people interviewed, would become awkward and
embarrassing. There are some exceptions to the denial rule, in which you are
allowed to break the rule and acknowledge the existence of other passengers:
1) The Politeness Exception
→ you are allowed to break the Denial Rule when not speaking would
be more rude that invading privacy by speaking (for example, when you bump into someone and
have to apologise, or you have to ask if the seat next to them is free). However, it's important to
note that these politenesses are not regarded as icebreakers, so, after making your necessary
apology or request, you have to go back to the denial state.
2) The Information Exception → you can break the denial rule to ask for vital information (for
example, to ask if it's the right train or platform). The responses to such questions are often
humorous (for example, “I hope so!”), so, even if the same principle applies as with the politeness
exception, which is returning to the denial state, the more humorous responses may indicate a
greater willingness to exchange at least a few words.
3) The Moan Exception → another situation in which you can break the denial rule is when
something goes wrong: an announcement that the train will be delayed or cancelled, or the
train/tube stopping in the middle of nowhere for no reason, or a long wait for the bus. On these
occasions, passengers suddenly become aware of each other's existence: people make eye contact,
sigh noisily, roll their eyes and raise their eyebrows, and sometimes make weary comments about
the state of the railway system. Such problems seem to have an instant bonding effect on English
passengers, clearly based on the “us and them” principle. The English can't resist the opportunity
to moan: the moaning is pointless, because they will stoically accept that nothing will be done tofix
the situation, but it's also an effective activity since it works as a facilitator of social
interaction. Again, this exception is not a true breach of the rule but a temporary suspension:
commuters know that they can share a moan without having to talk to those people again the next
morning.
4) The MobilePhone Ostrich Exception → we have said that if you're English, and you're using
public transport, you pretend that other people don't exist, but you also pretend that you don't exist
either. In other words, you mustn't draw attention to yourself. However, when it comes to the
mobile phone, this rule is not that effective: just as the ostrich with its head in the sand believes
that it is invisible, the English passenger on a mobile phone imagines that they are invisible and
noone can hear them. As a result, they will talk about domestic or business affairs in loud tones.
The other passengers will usually feel irritated, roll their eyes, sigh and shake their heads, but they
won't complain directly to the offender. This is typically English:they channel their anger into
clever jokes and ritual moans, but fail to address the real source of the problem.
COURTESY RULES

NegativePoliteness Rules
. The author says that many foreign visitors often complain about English
reserve and praise English courtesy; then she points out that these two features are, in her opinion,
two sides of the same coin. In fact, English reserve is a form of courtesy, which can be classified as
'negative politeness': English people judge others by themselves: they assume that everyone share
their obsessive need for privacy, so they mind their own business and ignore other people.
Therefore, what looks like unfriendliness is really a kind of consideration.
The ReflexApology Rule
The reflexapology is a striking example of English courtesy. It means that
English people tend to apologize when someone else bumps into them, even if it's clearly not their
fault. The author came to this conclusion after a series of experiments in which she spent afternoons
in crowded public places bumping into people to see if they would say 'sorry'. After examining the
result, she also looked for a reason, but she concluded that this kind of apology is just a reflex, an
automatic response, not a considered admission of guilt. In fact, she says, the English use the word
sorry as a prefix to almost any request or question, so it's an allpurpose word.
Rule of Ps and Qs
. The word you are most likely to hear on public transport , apart from 'sorry', are
'Please' and 'Thank You'. The majority of English passengers use these words when buying their
ticket, and many of them also thank the bus driver again when they get off at their stop. However,
there is nothing warm or friendly about English Ps and Qs: they are just another manifestation of
the “politeegalitarianism”, reflecting English squeamishness about money and status differences.
They like to pretend that those people are doing them a favour, rather than performing a service for
financial reward.
Taxi Exceptions to the Denial Rule
. Taxi drivers are generally courteous towards their customers, and
often positively friendly, to the extent of breaking the denial rules of privacy and reserve. For
example, many taxi drivers hold endless monologues on everything from the problem of the
Government or the England football coach to the latest celebrity gossip scandal. Many passengers
feel embarrassed about it, but they prefer to make a national joke out of it rather that confronting
them directly. There's another type of chatty driver, who tries to have a friendly conversation with
his passengers, for example asking about their destination and the purpose of the journey, and
sometimes more personal questions. Again, many English people find this intrusive, but they are all
too polite or too embarrassed to say it.

QUEUING RULES.

The Indirectness Rule

. We have already said that queuing is one of England's most popular pastimes. English expect each
other to observe the rules of queuing, feel highly offended when these rules are violated but don't
have the confidence to express their annoyance in a straightforward manner. Paradoxically, it is only
in England, where queuejumping is regarded as deeply immoral, that the queuejumper is likely to
get away with the offence. Queuing is so important to English people that they will notice even
when someone is considering jumping a queue. They start glancing at you sideways with suspicious
eyes and move a bit closer to the person in front of them, sometimes putting a hand on a hip.
The author calls this series of gestures the Paranoid Pantomime and says that is usually takes place
only when there is some ambiguity in the structure of the queue, for example when it's not certain
where the queue starts or ends.

BodyLanguage and Muttering Rules

. If you jump a queue in England, the worst things you will be
subjected to will be raised eyebrows, contemptuous looks, heavy sighs accompanied by tutting and
muttering. In doing so, the queues are hoping that you will feel ashamed and will go to the back of
the queue, without having to draw attention to themselves by addressing you directly. As we can
see, it is probably easier to get away with queue jumping in England than anywhere else, but only if
you are not English. If you're English, you probably won't be able to bear the humiliation of all
those eyebrows and sighs, because you are aware of their meaning.
These responses to the breach of queue rules could be considered as part of a passiveaggressive
behaviour. English people are not very good at saying things as they are, in a direct manner: they
tend to be either aggressive or accept things with passive resignation.

The Fair Play Rule says that if you 'play fair' and acknowledge the rights of those in front of you in
a queue (or give them the benefit of the doubt where there is some ambiguity) they will instantly
stop being paranoid and passiveaggressive and will treat you fairly, or even generously in return.
The Drama of Queuing
. It is important to say that the English obey all these rules about queuing instinctively, without even
thinking about it, and that they are proud of being good at queuing. This may look like a quite
unexciting thing to be proud of, but when you examine English queues, the author says,
you find that each one is a little minidrama, a real story full of intrigue, moral dilemmas, honour
and altruism, alliances, anger and reconciliation.
CAR RULES
before talking about English rules about cars, we have to say that there is universal feature of cars:
cars are part of our personal territory and part of our personal and social identity.
The status indifference rule says that the English like to believe that the social status considerations
do not influence their choice of car. They prefer to believe that they bought a certain car because it
expressed their personality or their image. The truth is that car choice, like almost everything else in
England, is mostly about class. You will discover the social class reasons of a person's car choice by
mentioning the Ford Mondeo: the Mondeo Test is a good indicator of class anxiety; the more
contemptuous one is about Mondeos, the more insecure they are about their own status. A similar
test can be carried out with the. However, class distinctions don't stop with the make of car: your
social status also depends on Mercedes the condition of your car. Dirty cars are usually associated
with both the highest and lowest ends of the social scale, clean cars with the middle ranks. The
same principle applies to the state if the interior of the car. (minor variations: sex differences →
men are more tidier than women).
The Mobile Castle Rule
. We have seen that an Englishman's home is his castle, so when an Englishman uses his car, a part
of his castle goes with him. On public transport people try to pretend that the strangers
don't exist: this becomes even easier in cars, because they are enclosed in a real, solid shield of
metal. Therefore people can pretend not only that they are alone, but also that they are at home. As a
result, like ostriches with their heads in the sand, English people in their cars believe that they are
invisible, and do things that they would normally only do in the privacy of their own homes: you
will see them pick their noses, sing, have rows, kiss, but also make rude gestures and insulting other
drivers. .
RoadRage
Many visitors acknowledge that the English are very courteous drivers. However, British
newspapers often complain about how England is suffering from an epidemic of road rage. The
truth is that humans are aggressively territorial animals and the car is a special kind of territory so
people tend to react aggressively when they perceive their territory is being threatened.
.
Courtesy rules
English people have a good reputation as courteous and sensible drivers; the author says
 that this is just because they have rules and customs that prescribe a certain degree of restraint.
When frustrated or angry, English drivers are inclined to shout insults at each other just like anyone
else, but they tend to do it from behind closed windows.
Fair Play Rules. English driving behaviour can be seen as an extension of the queuing behaviour, in
that the same principles of fairness and good manners apply. Of course there are drivers who try to
'cheat', but the reaction of the other drivers (indignation) will be the same as the ones caused by
queuejumping. As with queuing, the punishment that the offenders will receive will consist of sighs,
muttered insults and filthy looks perhaps with the addition of some obscene gestures from behind
closed windows. However, in the security of their mobile castles, with the ablity to escape quickly
from disapproving looks, the English are less vulnerable and thus more inclined to break the fair
play rules.

Road rules and Englishness.

Denial rule → it provides another example of English social inhibition and embarrassment and
evidence of their obsession with privacy. (the author suggests that the two tendencies are related:
the excessive need for privacy is due to social awkwardness)
Denial rule + Mobile castle rule → confirm the inability of the English to deal with social
interaction: they can only cope through forms of selfdelusion (pretending that other people don't
exist/pretending to be still at home).
Courtesy rules → importance of politeness (England is a predominantly negative politeness
culture); they bring to light the fact that politeness and courtesy have little to do with friendliness or
good nature. Queuing Rules → make us notice that the English seem to be incapable of being frank,
clear or assertive; they are always playing some complex game, and when they're not doing things
backwards they are doing them sideways. The problem is that when they are direct and upfront they
tend to become noisy and aggressive, sometimes even rude. English inhibited politeness and loud
obnoxiousness are two sides of the same coin: both tendencies reflect a fundamental form of social
disease, the inability to engage normally and directly with other human beings.
Many of the rules examined in this chapter highlight the importance of the concept of 'fairness' in
English culture.
The remaining rules of the chapter are concerned with the other English obsession: class. We've
come across an apparently consistent pattern in which the top and the bottom ends of the social
scale have more
in common with each other that with the middle ranks.