Original: Biological determinism suggests that our personalities are solely a result of

our genetic makeup, and people who support this theory believe that our character
traits are fixed and cannot be altered. Although hereditary factors undoubtedly play a
significant role in forming one’s personality, I believe that it is not accurate to say that
they are the sole determinants.
Revised: Biological determinism suggests that our personalities are solely a result of
our genetic makeup, and proponents of this theory believe that our character traits are
fixed and cannot be altered. Although hereditary factors undoubtedly play a significant
role in forming one’s personality, I believe that it is not accurate to say that they are
the sole determinants.

Original: As the saying goes, “an apple never falls far from the tree”, meaning that the
genes we inherit from our parents or other family members hugely define our
personality to a great extent. There are numerous examples or (slip-of) successful
artists whose family members have also possessed exceptional artistic talents that
were passed on. Mozart, one of the greatest compositors of all times, had learned to
play on (no need) the piano from his father, who also was a famous musician at the
time. As history shows, children inherit exceptional math skills, memory, leadership
skills, not necessarily, from their parents or from people of their family tree, which, in
turn, helps children to be proficient in the domains where these extraordinary traits are
praised.

Revised:
As the saying goes, "an apple never falls far from the tree," meaning that the genes we
inherit from our parents or other family members greatly influence our personality to a
considerable extent. There are numerous examples of successful artists whose family
members have also possessed exceptional artistic talents that were passed on. For
instance, Mozart, one of the greatest composers of all time, learned to play the piano
from his father, who was also a famous musician. Historical evidence also indicates
that children inherit exceptional math skills, memory, and leadership skills, not
necessarily only from their parents or direct family members, but also from their
extended family tree, which, in turn, helps them excel in domains where these
extraordinary traits are highly valued.
Original: Nevertheless, the ( no need) genes most of the time contribute to rather a
person’s natural inclination towards a particular behavior or activity rather than
dictating the entire character altogether. That is to say, other factors, such as a
person’s upbringing, do alter a person’s tendency to a certain extent. To illustrate, if
both parents are successful criminals, that has nothing to do with their child becoming
a criminal as well. When raised in a carefree, friendly and enlightening environment,
the same child can direct his/her inborn logic, prudence, and cautiousness, traits that is
(are) common to offenders, to defend people and catch other criminals.
Revised: Nevertheless, genes primarily contribute to a person's natural inclination
towards a specific behavior or activity rather than entirely dictating their character.
That is to say, other factors, such as a person's upbringing, can significantly influence
their tendencies.To illustrate, even if both parents are successful criminals, it does not
guarantee that their child will become a criminal as well. When raised in a caring,
friendly, and nurturing environment, the same child can direct his/her inborn logic,
prudence, and cautiousness, traits that are commonly associated with offenders, to
protect people and help catch other criminals.

Original: In conclusion, even though genetic predispositions play a huge role in

developing our personalities, I disagree with the view that out (slip-our) character
traits are unchangeable. Upbringing, culture, and social influences are among the
many factors that contribute to shaping an individual's personality.

Revised: In conclusion, although genetic predispositions play a significant role in

developing our personalities, I disagree with the view that our character traits are
entirely unchangeable. Upbringing, culture, and social influences are among the many
factors that contribute to shaping an individual's personality.
Original:
Our personalities are predetermined as a result of our genes before we are born
and there is nothing that can be done to change our character traits. To what
extent do you agree?
Biological determinism suggests that our personalities are solely a result of our
genetic makeup, and people who support this theory believe that our character traits
are fixed and cannot be altered. Although hereditary factors undoubtedly play a
significant role in forming one’s personality, I believe that it is not accurate to say that
they are the sole determinants.
As the saying goes, “an apple never falls far from the tree”, meaning that the
genes we inherit from our parents or other family members hugely define our
personality to a great extent. There are numerous examples or (slip-of) successful
artists whose family members have also possessed exceptional artistic talents that
were passed on. Mozart, one of the greatest compositors of all times, had learned to
play on (no need) the piano from his father, who also was a famous musician at the
time. As history shows, children inherit exceptional math skills, memory, leadership
skills, not necessarily, from their parents or from people of their family tree, which, in
turn, helps children to be proficient in the domains where these extraordinary traits are
praised.
Nevertheless, the ( no need) genes most of the time contribute to rather a
person’s natural inclination towards a particular behavior or activity rather than
dictating the entire character altogether. That is to say, other factors, such as a
person’s upbringing, do alter a person’s tendency to a certain extent. To illustrate, if
both parents are successful criminals, that has nothing to do with their child becoming
a criminal as well. When raised in a carefree, friendly and enlightening environment,
the same child can direct his/her inborn logic, prudence, and cautiousness
, traits that is (are) common to offenders, to defend people and catch other criminals.
In conclusion, even though genetic predispositions play a huge role in
developing our personalities, I disagree with the view that out (slip-our) character
traits are unchangeable. Upbringing, culture, and social influences are among the
many factors that contribute to shaping an individual's personality.
(331 words)
Revised:
Our personalities are predetermined as a result of our genes before we are born
and there is nothing that can be done to change our character traits. To what
extent do you agree?
Biological determinism suggests that our personalities are solely a result of our
genetic makeup, and proponents of this theory believe that our character traits are
fixed and cannot be altered. Although hereditary factors undoubtedly play a significant
role in forming one’s personality, I believe that it is not accurate to say that they are
the sole determinants.
As the saying goes, "an apple never falls far from the tree," meaning that the
genes we inherit from our parents or other family members greatly influence our
personality to a considerable extent. There are numerous examples of successful
artists whose family members have also possessed exceptional artistic talents that
were passed on. For instance, Mozart, one of the greatest composers of all time,
learned to play the piano from his father, who was also a famous musician. Historical
evidence also indicates that children inherit exceptional math skills, memory, and
leadership skills, not necessarily only from their parents or direct family members, but
also from their extended family tree, which, in turn, helps them excel in domains
where these extraordinary traits are highly valued.

Nevertheless, genes primarily contribute to a person's natural inclination

towards a specific behavior or activity rather than entirely dictating their character.
That is to say, other factors, such as a person's upbringing, can significantly influence
their tendencies.To illustrate, even if both parents are successful criminals, it does not
guarantee that their child will become a criminal as well. When raised in a caring,
friendly, and nurturing environment, the same child can direct his/her inborn logic,
prudence, and cautiousness, traits that are commonly associated with offenders, to
protect people and help catch other criminals.

In conclusion, although genetic predispositions play a significant role in

developing our personalities, I disagree with the view that our character traits are
entirely unchangeable. Upbringing, culture, and social influences are among the many
factors that contribute to shaping an individual's personality.
(316 words)