Book transforming-Conflict-FINAL-Jul-18

Transforming
Conflict Tools for Building Respect

in our Diverse World
A Curriculum Developed by the Tanenbaum Center for Interreligious Understanding for Grades Six – Twelve
A curriculum by the Tanenbaum Center for Interreligious Understanding
Published in 2023 by
Tanenbaum Center for Interreligious Understanding
200 Broadway
3rd Floor
New York, NY 10038
www.tanenbaum.org
Copyright © 2023 by the Tanenbaum Center for Interreligious Understanding
Printed in the United States of America.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reprinted, reproduced, or utilized in any form or by
any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including
photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, without permission
in writing from the publisher.
For more information, contact Tanenbaum’s Education program:

education@tanenbaum.org
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Table of Contents
Page
Acknowledgements 4
An Open Letter to Educators and Community Members 5
About This Curriculum 6
Tanenbaum’s Seven Principles for Inclusive Education 8
Checklist for Inclusive Lessons 9
Tanenbaum’s Six Behavioral Learning Outcomes 10
Tanenbaum’s Peacemakers in Action 12
How to Use This Curriculum 13
Conflict Versus Bullying 16
Unit I: Building Community in Our Classroom 17
Lessons:
1. Anchor: Our Classroom is a Caring Community 19
2. Create: Agreements of Respect for Our Classroom 21
3. Connect: Tools for Building Respect from Diverse Religions 23
4. Explore: Showing Empathy 27
5. Apply: Valuing Diverse Identities 29
Spotlight: Tanenbaum Peacemakers in Action Osnat Aram-Daphna and Najeeba Sirhan 33
Unit II: Understanding Conflict 36
Lessons:
1. Anchor: Five Styles of Responding to Conflict 38
2. Create: Conflict Webs 42
3. Connect: Identifying Types of Conflict 44
4. Explore: Correcting Perceptual Errors 50
5. Apply: Getting into a Productive Mindset 55
Spotlight: Tanenbaum Peacemaker in Action Rev. Jacky Frits Manuputty 59
Unit III: Transforming Conflict with Self-Understanding 62
Lessons:
1. Anchor: How Culture Shapes Conflict 64
2. Create: Where I Come From 67
3. Connect: Recognizing and Channeling Anger 71
4. Explore: Reappraising Conflict Situations 76
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5. Apply: Using Focused Breathing to Decrease Stress 79
Spotlight: Tanenbaum Peacemaker in Action Dishani Jayaweera 82
Unit IV: Transforming Conflict with Constructive Communication 85
Lessons:
1. Anchor: Learning Where Other People Come From 87
2. Create: “I” Statements 92
3. Connect: How We Speak 97
4. Explore: Understanding Body Language and Personal Space 103
5. Apply: Word Choice and Conflict 109
Spotlight: Tanenbaum Peacemaker in Action Bishop Ntambo Nkulu Ntanda 113
Unit V: Transforming Conflicts Together 116
Lessons:
1. Anchor: Reframing and Collaborating in Conflict 118
2. Create: Understanding Positions and Needs 123
3. Connect: Opening, Informing, and Uniting Behaviors 128
4. Explore: Lowering Barriers to Communication 133
5. Apply: Collaborative Negotiation 140
Spotlight: Tanenbaum Peacemaker in Action Friar Ivo Markovic 151
Appendix A: Promoting Social and Emotional Learning 155
Appendix B: Common Core ELA-Literacy Standards 161
Appendix C: National Social Studies Themes 162
Appendix D: Seven Principles for Inclusive Education 164

• Teaching All Students
• Exploring Multiple Identities
• Preventing Prejudice
• Promoting Social Justice
• Choosing Appropriate Materials
• Teaching and Learning About Cultures and Religions
• Adapting and Integrating Lessons Appropriately
Appendix E: Books that Promote Social and Emotional Growth: Grades 6-12 175
Appendix F: Key Terms Used in the Curriculum 179
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Acknowledgements
Transforming Conflict: Tools for Building Respect in Our Diverse World is the product
of many collaborators. The Tanenbaum Center for Interreligious Understanding published its first
curriculum on conflict, entitled COEXIST, in 2007. COEXIST was a collaborative project between
Tanenbaum’s Education and Peacebuilding programs.
The idea to update the COEXIST curriculum came from an internal Board task force that convened
in 2016 to review and evaluate Tanenbaum’s Education program. The task force’s
recommendations to emphasize the impact of program resources on student behavior, and to
make materials more user-friendly to educators who must balance diversity education with fulfilling
national learning standards, were adopted by Tanenbaum’s Board of Directors in 2018. The task
force’s recommendations formed the foundation of our revisions.
Connie Cuttle called upon her vast subject-matter expertise to reframe the curriculum’s learning
objectives and scope and sequence. Based on conversations between Connie Cuttle, Senior
Education Program Associate Daniel del Nido, Tanenbaum CEO Rev. Mark Fowler, and Manager of
Programs Rabbi Melinda Zalma, it was agreed that COEXIST should not be updated but rewritten
as a new curriculum to reflect advances in the field of conflict transformation. Connie Cuttle created
new lessons that are the foundation of Transforming Conflict. Kim Keiserman shared
implementation insight and wrote additional lessons, including some updated lessons from the
original COEXIST curriculum.
Daniel del Nido and Wendy Miller Gamer, along with Education Volunteers Hope Stratman and
Dolores Troy-Quinn, collaborated to curate feedback from diverse stakeholders and edited the
full curriculum. Peacebuilding Assistant Director Janie Dumbleton and Senior Peacemakers in
Action Network Coordinator Élie Khoury provided specific suggestions on adapting the
Peacemaker in Action profiles for classroom learning. Tanenbaum’s National Education Advisory
Board, a group of K-12 educators with more than 150 years of classroom teaching and education
leadership experience between them, shared invaluable feedback on the curriculum during the
2022-2023 school year. The collaborative negotiation role-play in Unit V, Lesson 5 is adapted
from a lesson created in cooperation with faculty and staff at Trevor Day School including Koreé
Hood, Debra Alleyne-James, and Joseph Ulitto.
Financial support for Transforming Conflict came from the Nissan Foundation, the Wayfarer
Foundation, the Pine Tree Foundation of New York, the Sy Syms Foundation, and the Munshi
Bishan Singh Kochhar Foundation. We thank all of these organizations for their generosity, without
which this curriculum would not have been possible.
This curriculum also reflects the hard work, dedication, and courage of the Peacemakers in
Tanenbaum’s Peacemakers in Action Network. Transforming Conflict: Tools for Building
Respect in Our Diverse World is dedicated to this group of extraordinary individuals.
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An Open Letter to Educators and Community Members
One of the Tanenbaum Center for Interreligious Understanding’s foundational beliefs is that
diversity is not abstract or distant, but present in our own communities: our schools, homes,
workplaces, and health care institutions. And with advances in communication technology, the rise
of the internet and social media, and the ever-increasing ease of travel, each of us is closer than
ever to the diverse world that we share. The challenge of addressing diversity, equity, and inclusion
in all the ways they impact our lives has never been more urgent.
When we engage with people with diverse identities and backgrounds, there is always the
possibility of conflict. We can see this essential human reality when we look back through history
at moments of encounter between different peoples. We can see it in current events, where
xenophobia, racism, and religious prejudice remain stubborn realities. We can see it in our own
lives, when miscommunication, distrust, or bias bring conflict into an ordinary encounter.
It is a mistake, however, to believe that conflict is always destructive. The reality of conflict is
complex. Though it can harm relationships and increase tensions, conflict can also be an
opportunity for learning and growth. Conflicts allow people to better understand each other
and the world they live in. They can even light a spark that ignites a movement for justice.
Transforming Conflict: Tools for Building Respect in Our Diverse World recognizes the
complex ways we experience and engage with conflict. Designed for students in Grades 6-12, this
curriculum teaches that we can view conflict not as something to fear or avoid, but as a situation
that can be transformed with respect for difference.
Tanenbaum’s mission is to promote justice and build respect for religious difference. Our
programmatic work transforms individuals and institutions to reduce religious prejudice, hatred,
and violence. In our Education program, this means helping students learn behaviors of respect
for diversity, including religious diversity. Teaching constructive responses to conflict is a key
component of our mission. Understanding how our unique identities impact conflict situations, and
learning to honor those identities, allow us to transform conflicts into opportunities for personal and
communal growth.
Transforming Conflict allows students to practice building respect for difference in their school
communities. Its interactive lessons give students experience creating caring, respectful spaces in
which all people feel safe. Activities to connect lessons to English Language Arts, History, and
Social Studies content provide opportunities for students to take informed action in the classroom
that connects their own life experiences to real-world issues. And the stories of Tanenbaum’s
Peacemakers in Action, a unique feature of Transforming Conflict, will inspire students to
imagine ways they can use what they learn in this curriculum to promote justice and build respect
for religious difference in their own communities.
Differences between individuals and communities will never, and should never, be completely
overcome. Conflict will always be with us. Transforming Conflict teaches tomorrow’s leaders to
learn from conflict so that they see people who differ from them not as enemies, but as partners
with unique perspectives on our diverse world.
Rev. Mark E. Fowler

CEO, Tanenbaum Center for Interreligious Understanding
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About This Curriculum
Conflict is a normal part of our experience as humans living in a diverse world. Transforming
Conflict gives students an opportunity to practice approaching conflict, not as a struggle to be
won or lost, but as a problem to be solved through cooperation and mutual respect. In doing so,
it teaches students social and emotional skills that are vital to flourish in today’s diverse world.
Specifically, this curriculum fosters social and emotional growth through lessons that encourage
students to:
• Recognize that conflict is a normal part of living in a diverse world.

• Understand factors that shape conflict.
• Practice skills of self-understanding, respectful communication, and empathetic concern
for others.
• Apply acquired skills to transform conflicts.
• Learn about role models among Tanenbaum Peacemakers in Action who are engaged in
transforming conflicts around the globe.
• Explore how to actualize conflict transformation skills in everyday life.
Transforming Conflict is unique in the landscape of curricula addressing conflict in that it

incorporates the stories of Tanenbaum Peacemakers in Action. Tanenbaum’s Peacemakers are
individuals from around the world, representing a rich variety of languages, ethnicities, and
religions, who build peace in active conflict and post-conflict zones. Each unit of this curriculum
includes opportunities to connect student learning to our Peacemakers’ conflict transformation
work via written case studies, discussion questions, and opportunities for taking informed action.
This curriculum’s Tanenbaum’s Peacemakers in Action section (p. 12) contains additional
information about the Peacemakers represented in this curriculum and how to incorporate their
stories into students’ learning experiences.
This curriculum's learning objectives extend Tanenbaum’s Six Behavioral Learning Outcomes to the
area of conflict transformation. These Six Outcomes identify areas of respectful conduct that
teachers can build and observe in their students. Achieving these Six Outcomes is the goal of all of
Tanenbaum’s resources for educators, and we believe that they will also serve as effective tools for
conflict transformation. Please see the Six Behavioral Learning Outcomes section of this
curriculum (p. 10) for full descriptions of each outcome.
The pedagogical approach Transforming Conflict takes to teaching conflict transformation is

grounded in Tanenbaum’s internationally recognized Seven Principles for Inclusive Education. A
valuable resource for any classroom or lesson plan, the Seven Principles identify practical strat-
egies for building behaviors of respect in students. They are the indispensable complement to
Tanenbaum’s Six Behavioral Learning Outcomes. This curriculum helps educators implement the
Seven Principles in their classrooms to build caring and respectful spaces where students feel safe
addressing difficult issues. We encourage educators to familiarize themselves with the Seven
Principles for Inclusive Education section of this curriculum (p. 8) before implementing our
lessons on conflict transformation.
We at Tanenbaum’s Education program are especially proud of how Transforming Conflict

engages multiple modalities to achieve its learning objectives. The lessons in this curriculum
employ visual, auditory, reading and writing, and kinesthetic activities to reach all learners. We
encourage educators to adapt lessons to meet the needs of their unique classrooms. More
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information on how to adapt lessons, including for students with diverse learning needs, can be
found in the “Teaching All Students” section of Appendix D: Seven Principles for Inclusive
Education (p. 163).
The lessons in this curriculum engage students in active participation. Many lessons ask students
to act out and analyze conflict scenarios with their classmates. These scenarios are designed to
provide students with opportunities to practice key conflict transformation skills. Educators may
find that their students respond better to different scenarios, or to scenarios that the students
devise themselves. The scenarios included in this curriculum are intended as suggestions for
educators that can be changed as needed.
We recognize the challenges educators face integrating social and emotional learning into their
existing curricular obligations. We have designed Transforming Conflict to be a curriculum that
can be integrated into English Language Arts, History, and Social Studies instruction. Historical and
current events present numerous opportunities for exploring conflicts, as do works of literature.
Many of the lessons in this curriculum contain links to English Language Arts, History, and Social
Studies content. Educators should feel free to connect material in Transforming Conflict to their
own curricular content and adjust lessons accordingly. For suggestions on subject-matter
integration, please see the section: How to Use This Curriculum (p. 13).
The skills taught in this curriculum are presented sequentially. Practicing skills in Unit I, for example,
will support learning experiences in Unit II, and so on. This curriculum is also designed for
maximum flexibility in meeting the pacing and scheduling needs of educators in diverse learning
environments. The How to Use This Curriculum (p. 13) section of Transforming Conflict
shares instructions on how to provide customizable learning experiences depending on an
educator’s needs.
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Tanenbaum’s Seven Principles for Inclusive Education
Tanenbaum is committed to developing educational programs based upon pedagogical principles
and practices that are essential to preparing all students to become responsible global citizens. As
you use this curriculum, you are partnering with Tanenbaum to implement our Seven Principles for
Inclusive Education.
1. Teaching all Students

• When educators teach the same material in different ways, lessons are more interesting
and tangible to a greater number of students.
2. Exploring Multiple Identities

• Students whose identities are affirmed feel proud of themselves and excited by the
world around them, becoming compassionate and understanding people.
3. Preventing Prejudice
• When educators proactively model how to debunk preconceived stereotypes, students
see each other with curiosity and respect.
4. Promoting Social Justice

• Students know what’s fair but may not know what is equitable. Educators should
explore issues of social justice, equity, and access with students.
5. Choosing Appropriate Materials

• Inclusive classrooms use books and materials that reflect accurate images of diverse
peoples and challenge stereotypes.
6. Teaching and Learning about Cultures and Religions

• Educators can build curiosity and expand students’ horizons by teaching about diverse
traditions and allowing students to learn from their peers.
7. Adapting and Integrating Lessons Appropriately

• Educators should be flexible when using any curricula. Many of the most teachable
moments are unplanned and unscripted.
Please see Appendix D (p. 163) for a full explanation of each of these seven principles
and guidance on implementation.
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Checklist for Inclusive Lessons
The lessons in Transforming Conflict are designed to be inclusive and meet the learning needs
of all students. We also intend our lessons to be adaptable to the needs of your unique student
population. This checklist can help guide your modifications to ensure that they are inclusive.
The lesson or activity:

□ Actively engages students in using higher-order thinking skills.
□ Accommodates a variety of learning styles.
□ Fosters students’ social and emotional growth and provides students with opportunities to
practice social and emotional learning core competencies.
□ Can be modified for students with diverse learning needs.
□ Includes partner work or teamwork.
□ Encourages students to make personal connections to the lesson’s content.
□ Uses non-stereotypical images and materials.
□ Tells the stories of people who represent diversity in terms of culture, race, religion, color,
socio-economic status, gender, gender identity, gender expression, ability, nationality,
ethnicity, sexual orientation, and language.
□ Helps students recognize stereotypes and encourages them to counter stereotypes in a

thoughtful way.
□ Helps students become curious and more knowledgeable about similarities and differences
between diverse cultural, religious, ethnic, and racial groups.
□ Helps students become curious and more knowledgeable about similarities and differences
within cultural, religious, ethnic, and racial groups.
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Tanenbaum’s Six Behavioral Learning Outcomes
Students will be able to:
1. Explain that diversity (including religious diversity) is a commonplace feature of

communities, both large and small, throughout their society.
• Students recognize the religious and cultural diversity within their own community
and appreciate the contributions different religious and non-religious groups have
made to it as a foundation for respecting all forms of diversity.
• Students can explain that socially just communities acknowledge, respect, and
value the ways people are different. This includes religious difference.
2. Share self-knowledge about their personal beliefs.

• Students are able to recognize their own patterns of thought, see how their life
experiences contribute to their thinking, and critically examine their own prejudices
and beliefs.
• Students are able to link their feelings, values, and ideas.
• Students gain the ability to question the hidden assumptions behind their
worldviews and find areas where they can learn from others.
3. Demonstrate skills of active listening, respectful questioning, and showing concern for
the feelings of others.
• Students practice active listening and paraphrase what they have heard to clarify
that they understand what speakers said and intended.
• Students learn to raise questions with respect.
• Students actively participate in classroom activities.
• Students use these life skills, which are essential for social awareness and
responsible decision-making in a diverse society.
4. Examine and discuss differences among people with open-minded respect and regard
for the dignity of others.
• Students learn from each other when they recognize and value their peers’ strengths
and the importance of understanding each other’s points of view. As students
channel their innate curiosity into respectful questioning about the thoughts,
feelings, and experiences of others, they learn to value their classmates’ identities.
• Practicing respectful curiosity and open-mindedness allows students to examine
and discuss each other’s beliefs and life experiences within a social justice
framework and build an inclusive community that recognizes the dignity of all.
5. Take the perspective of others as they examine identity from multiple points of view,
recognizing and challenging harmful stereotypes and unjust norms, recognizing others’
strengths, and developing positive relationships.
• It is important for students to be able to recognize points of view that embody
stereotypes or are prejudicial to others.
• Students should know how and why stereotypes develop.
• With practice, students demonstrate they are willing and able to challenge or
debunk religious stereotypes and prejudicial assumptions when they hear them.
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6. Demonstrate empathy and compassion for others with different religious and non-
religious beliefs and recognize that religious differences are commonplace in their own
families, neighborhoods, classrooms, schools, and extended communities.
• Each individual has multiple social identities such as gender, race, ethnicity, national
origin, and socio-economic status. Each of us also has a religious or non-religious
identity. When students understand the complexity of each other’s life experience
and community histories, they learn to step into each other’s shoes and examine
issues from multiple perspectives.
• Students learn to examine their prejudices and biases and challenge their reactions
of confusion or aversion when they encounter unfamiliar identities and ways of life.
Instead, they seek to understand the reasons people think and act the way they do.
• Students recognize that difference is not something to be feared, avoided, or
abolished. They learn to value and appreciate the wealth of diversity we all bring to
the world.

These six outcomes are derived from Wiggins & McTighe (2005), Understanding by Design, 2nd edition. They have
been adapted to apply to the subject of student learning about diversity in general and religious differences in
particular.
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Tanenbaum’s Peacemakers in Action
In every conflict, you can find people driven by their religious beliefs and ready to risk their lives to
build peace. Tanenbaum seeks these heroes out, names them Peacemakers in Action, and invites
them to join our Peacemakers in Action Network.
Tanenbaum identified its first Peacemaker in 1998. Today, the Peacemakers in Action Network has
grown to 32 individuals representing six continents and a variety of religious backgrounds. We
support our Peacemakers by convening regular calls and retreats for knowledge-sharing and
capacity building, as well as by sponsoring on-the-ground peacebuilding interventions where
Peacemakers collaborate to further each other’s efforts. Each Peacemaker has a unique story and
approach to creating a more just and peaceful world. We are excited to share their stories with
students and educators in Transforming Conflict.
Each unit of Transforming Conflict concludes with a “Spotlight,” in which students will meet one
of Tanenbaum’s Peacemakers. We have chosen Peacemakers whose stories highlight real-world
applications of skills students learn in each unit. The short biographies, engagement opportunities,
and options for taking informed action contained in each spotlight are designed to connect student
learning to mission-driven work taking place across the globe. Students will have opportunities to
reflect on the stories they encounter as individuals and as emerging global citizens. This curriculum
includes Spotlights on the following Peacemakers:
• Unit I: Osnat Aram-Daphna and Najeeba Sirhan (p. 33)

• Unit II: Rev. Jacky Frits Manuputty (p. 59)
• Unit III: Dishani Jayaweera (p. 82)
• Unit IV: Bishop Ntambo Nkulu Ntanda (p. 112)
• Unit V: Friar Ivo Markovic (p. 150)
We welcome educators and students to meet Tanenbaum’s Peacemakers in Action as a way to

connect the daily experiences of student learning to the essential work of conflict transformation in
our diverse world. If you would like to learn more about Tanenbaum’s Peacemakers, please contact
us at education@tanenbaum.org.
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How to Use This Curriculum
The goal of Transforming Conflict is for students to be capable of understanding conflicts and
engaging with them constructively. Accordingly, this curriculum is structured to build student skills
over the course of a semester or a year. We recognize, however, that individual educators have
different scheduling and pacing needs. We have therefore designed this curriculum to allow for
flexibility in its delivery.
This section will provide practical advice on how to use Transforming Conflict to best meet the
needs of your classroom and to deliver an enriching experience to students.
I. Curriculum Scope
This curriculum builds understanding and skills of conflict transformation. The table below presents
the essential skills addressed in each unit, along with each unit’s thematic focus:
Unit Number and Name Unit Theme Essential Skills

Unit I: Building Community in Developing norms for a • Setting norms
Our Classroom respectful classroom • Building consensus
community • Showing empathy
• Respecting diversity
Unit II: Understanding Conflict Identifying types of conflict; • Identifying conflicts
distinguishing styles of • Constructive responses to
transforming conflicts conflict
• Respecting cultural
differences
• Correcting biases
Unit III: Transforming Conflict Understanding one’s own • Expressing core values
with Self-Understanding beliefs, values, and emotions • Channeling anger
constructively
• Calming stress
• Reappraising assumptions
Unit IV: Transforming Conflict Exploring strategies for • Active listening
with Constructive respectful communication • Choosing constructive
Communication language
• Respecting body language
and personal space
• Understanding paraverbal
communication
Unit V: Transforming Conflicts Practicing conflict • Reframing conflicts
Together transformation • Lowering barriers to
constructive
communication
• Identifying positions and
needs
• Collaborative negotiation
Each unit of Transforming Conflict is preceded by a “Unit Introduction” page that provides
additional information on the themes and skills that unit addresses. It also contains information on
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the national learning standards with which the lessons of each unit are aligned. These standards
include:
• Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning (CASEL) Core Competencies
• Common Core English Language Arts (ELA) & Literacy standards
• National Council for the Social Studies (NCSS) Social Studies themes
Educators may refer to Appendix A (p. 154) to learn more about CASEL Core Competencies,
Appendix B (p. 160) for more information on Common Core ELA-Literacy standards, and
Appendix C (p. 161) for additional material on NCSS Social Studies themes.
II. Lesson Sequence
To facilitate adaptation of this curriculum to educators’ pacing and scheduling needs, we have
designed the units of Transforming Conflict to be delivered in multiple ways.
Teachers who wish to deliver the entire content of a unit can follow the sequential order of lessons
as they are presented in this curriculum. We have chosen the sequence of lessons within a unit to
allow classes to explore that unit’s theme in depth and build the skills addressed in that unit in a
scaffolded manner.
Delivering the full suite of lessons in each unit will maximize opportunities for student learning and
allow students to develop their conflict transformation skills to the fullest extent.
It is important to note, however, that while following the sequence of lessons in a unit affords
maximum opportunities for scaffolding, every lesson in this curriculum stands on its own. No lesson
in this curriculum requires an educator to have taught another lesson for that lesson to function as
intended. Lesson instructions include recommendations on how to effectively pair lessons and use
material from different lessons to enhance student learning.
Blue text boxes contain tips and strategies for extracting maximum impact from lessons.
III. Anchor Lessons
The sequentially first lesson in each unit is called an “Anchor Lesson” and is listed in bold
typeface in this curriculum’s Table of Contents. Anchor lessons introduce each unit’s theme
and provide a basic experience working on that unit’s essential skills.
By teaching these five anchor lessons, an educator can provide students with a comprehensive
introduction to the theory and practice of transforming conflicts in everyday, interpersonal settings.
We welcome educators to teach these five Anchor Lessons as a stand-alone module on conflict
transformation.
The five Anchor Lessons in this curriculum are:
• Unit One: Our Classroom is a Caring Community

• Unit Two: Five Styles of Responding to Conflict
• Unit Three: How Culture Shapes Conflict
• Unit Four: Learning Where Other People Come From
• Unit Five: Reframing and Collaborating in Conflict
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IV. Lesson Tags
Along with structuring lessons within units sequentially, we have also provided “tags” that
indicate how additional lessons within a unit relate to that unit’s Anchor Lesson. A teacher
delivering Transforming Conflict’s Anchor Lessons as a stand-alone module may choose to
deliver additional lessons within a unit to give their students additional support with specific skills or
content areas. We have included these tags to facilitate planning on how to target this curriculum’s
content to your students’ unique needs. Transforming Conflict contains the following tags
for lessons:
• Create: a lesson in which students create a written, oral, or artistic product that actualizes
the skills they learn.
• Connect: a lesson that links curricular content and skill-building to real-world issues,
particularly to issues related to religious difference.
• Explore: a lesson that provides opportunities for students to deepen their understanding of
concepts and skills addressed in Anchor Lessons.
• Apply: a lesson that gives students hands-on experience enacting the skills they learn.
• Spotlight: a profile of one of Tanenbaum’s Peacemakers in Action with recommended
discussion questions and activities to connect skills to real-world situations.
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Conflict Versus Bullying
Conflict is a normal part of social life. It arises because each of us is a unique individual interacting
with other unique individuals. As a result, we can expect situations to arise in which we do not see
“eye to eye” with one another. We often find ourselves looking at a situation from a perspective
different from someone else’s or find ourselves disagreeing with someone about mutual concerns,
or how a problem should be handled. Conflict transformation is predicated on disputants having
different, but valid, perspectives.
It is important for educators to distinguish between conflicts that students can engage with
constructively and bullying that requires professional intervention.
The skills this curriculum teaches are intended for application in situations of
conflict only and should not be used when responding to incidents of bullying.
If you suspect that a student is experiencing bullying, it is essential to seek
professional support.
According to the American Psychological Association, bullying is “a form of aggressive behavior in

which someone intentionally and repeatedly causes another person injury or discomfort. Bullying
can take the form of physical contact, words, or more subtle actions.”
Bullying is behavior intended to cause either emotional, social, or physical harm, or some
combination of the three. Bullying is aggressive behavior by one individual or group that is
intentionally directed at another person or group. It is:
• Deliberate and unprovoked.
• Unwanted and negative.
• A pattern of behavior usually repeated over time (especially in the case of children, if there is
no adult intervention).
• Based on a power differential between the person who is doing the bullying and the
targeted person.
Bullying behavior always involves an imbalance of power. The person engaging in the bullying
behavior may be:
• Physically larger.
• Physically stronger.
• Older.
• Have greater social status or social power than the person being targeted.
Bullying behavior can take many forms:

• Verbal harassment refers to derogatorily teasing, taunting, or insulting someone, either
verbally or in writing.
• Social harassment is humiliating or isolating a person through rejection or exclusion.
• Physical harassment involves the threat or act of physical injury or physical contact. It
also includes taking or damaging a person’s belongings.
• Cyberbullying involves use of the internet, cell phones, email, social media, blogs, chat
rooms, and/or gaming systems to engage in verbal, social, or physical harassment.
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Unit I: Building Community in Our Classroom
17
Unit I: Building Community in Our Classroom lays a foundation of respect that is essential to
building community within the classroom. This unit teaches interpersonal skills that are appropriate
for any classroom and can be delivered as a standalone community-building exercise. It also
introduces a core principle of this curriculum, that using tools of respectful communication can
help transform a conflict situation into an opportunity for growth.
The Anchor lesson engages students in exploring what a community is and how care and respect
can be built into communities. Students will have the opportunity to brainstorm ways to make the
classroom into a caring and respectful community. This unit’s Create lesson teaches that by
agreeing on shared norms for interpersonal conduct, difficult situations that may arise in the
classroom can be approached in a constructive way. The Connect lesson allows students to
compare and contrast the shared norms they developed with teachings on interpersonal respect
drawn from diverse religious traditions. In the Explore lesson, students reflect on the concept of
empathy to further their growth as community builders. Finally, the Apply lesson asks students to
consider why differences between individuals and groups should be valued and respected.
This unit concludes with a spotlight on Tanenbaum Peacemakers in Action Osnat Aram-Daphna
and Najeeba Sirhan. Sharing Osnat and Najeeba’s story will give your students the opportunity to
see how two educators transformed tensions and mistrust to build community between their
schools. Students will be challenged to connect the skills and lessons of Osnat and Najeeba’s
story to their own lives.
CASEL Core Competencies:

• Relationship skills • Self-management
• Responsible decision-making • Social awareness
• Self-awareness
NCSS Social Studies Themes:

• Culture • Individual development and identity
• Individuals, groups, and institutions • Global connections
• Civic ideals and practices
Common Core ELA-Literacy Standards:

• Speaking and listening • Writing
Unit I Lessons
1. Anchor: Our Classroom is a Caring Community
2. Create: Agreements of Respect for Our Classroom
3. Connect: Tools for Building Respect in World Religions
4. Explore: Showing Empathy
5. Apply: Valuing Diverse Identities
Spotlight: Tanenbaum Peacemakers in Action Osnat Aram-Daphna and Najeeba Sirhan
18
Unit I, Lesson 1, Anchor: Our Classroom is a Caring Community
Essential Question: How do different communities demonstrate caring in similar ways?
Objectives - Students will:

• Learn four different ways people form communities.
• Recognize that all communities demonstrate caring behaviors in similar ways.
Supplies:
• Chart paper
• Markers
• Tape
Preparation:
• Plan to divide the class into at least four groups, assigning one or two groups to each of the
four types of community described below.
• Display the following text for students:
“Community is:
• A group living in one place.
• A group united by common interests.
• A group with common values and/or responsibilities.
• A group that feels a connection.”
Time: 50 minutes
Opening:
Note to the teacher: Record responses to the question below in a central location so students
can reference their ideas throughout the lesson.
Say: We are going to focus on making our class a caring community and understanding why a
caring community is important. To begin, let’s brainstorm responses to these two questions:
• What does the word “community” make us think of?
• What comes to mind when we think about the word “caring?”
Say: That was some great collective thinking. Now, let’s make it more personal. Take the next few
minutes to journal about what being in a caring community means to you personally. If you would
like, you can write about a community that you belong to. If it is helpful, look back at our
brainstormed lists to support your thinking.
Main Activity:
Divide the class into at least four groups. Distribute chart paper and markers to each student group.
Ask students to brainstorm and list examples of ways they have observed, encountered, or are
personally involved with different communities aligned with the type of community assigned to their
group. Then, ask a student from each group to read their group’s responses to the class. After all
groups present their lists ask the class if there are additional ideas to add to any of the lists.
Say: I can see across your lists that communities are not necessarily exclusive to one category or
another. A community can be a group living in one place, a group united by common interests, a
19
group with common values and/or responsibilities, or a group that feels a connection. Any given
community can fit into one, two, three, or all four of these categories.
Ask: Was it difficult to brainstorm examples for any of these different types of communities? Why?
Ask: Was it easy to brainstorm examples for any of these different types of communities? Why?
Say: Now each group should brainstorm and list examples of ways the different communities on
their list might demonstrate that they are a caring community. Give each group a chance to read
their list of behaviors to the class.
Ask groups to circle each behavior example on their own charts when they hear another group read
the same (or very similar) behavior out loud.
Ask: What are some similar ways that these different communities might demonstrate they are a
caring community?
Say: What I can see across your lists is that all communities, regardless of what type of community
they are, often express that they are a caring community in similar ways. Sometimes we are told we
are part of a community. At different times throughout our lives, we get to decide for ourselves how
we come together as a community. No matter what stage of your life, or what parameters you use to
describe a community, you have shown in your brainstorming that groups living in one place, groups
united by common interests, groups with common values and/or responsibilities, and groups that
feel a connection, all can express care in similar ways.
Note to the teacher: When both brainstorming steps are complete, have each group post their
chart on a classroom wall or collect charts in a central location.
Closing:
Ask: Why would we benefit by creating a caring community in our classroom? What are some of the
things we can do to build and support caring in our classroom community?
Taking Informed Action:
1. What will you write with just six words? Look at these sample Six-Word Memoirs. Consider
them as inspiration for writing your own original six-word reflection or explanation about a
community that you care about:
• “We're a small but heartfelt community.” (Raven_OKeefe for Six-Word Memoirs)
• “My team, My school, My community.” (camblessoup Six-Word Memoirs)
• “Diversity is part of our community.” (piano Six-Word Memoirs)
20
Unit I, Lesson 2, Create: Agreements of Respect for Our Classroom
Essential Question: How do we show respect in our classroom community?

• Learn about different ways to demonstrate respectful behavior.
• Connect behaviors of respect to norms that can help support a community.
• Create shared expectations (norms) for demonstrating respect in the classroom.
Supplies:
• Chart paper
• Markers
• Tape
• Internet access
Preparation:
• Display the following definitions for students:
“Norm: an accepted standard or a way of behaving or doing things that most people
agree with.”
“Respect: recognizing the value of another person and treating them accordingly.”
• Display the word “respect” like this:
“R _____________________
E _____________________
S _____________________
P _____________________
E _____________________
C _____________________
T _____________________”
Time: 50 minutes
Opening:
Play “One Day” a music video from Lifevest inside.
Ask: What kinds of behaviors do you see in the video? What is it that makes these behaviors acts of
respect?
Main Activity:
Explain that the class is going to establish a set of norms for behavior using the word “respect” as a
guide. Ask one student to take notes that can then be turned into a document representing class
norms for respect and shared with the entire class.
Ask students to brainstorm words beginning with the letter “R” that communicate how they want
to interact with one another in the class. Continue the process with the letters “E,” “S,” and so on
through the entire word, recording responses next to each letter. Conclude brainstorming and
recording with an opportunity for students to ask questions about any of the words.
Choose one word from each letter. Ask students to think of one or more specific ways that these
words can be actualized in the classroom. (For example, the word “shares” representing the letter
21
“S” can be actualized as: “When someone shares a response to a question, listen to what they
are saying.”)
Ask: How do you think our community will benefit by meeting community expectations that
demonstrate respect?
Ask: What can we do to hold each other accountable for maintaining these behavior norms?
Ask the student taking notes to read the list of ways to demonstrate respect. Explain that this list
will be shared with the class to help the community remember and actualize each of these
behaviors that demonstrate respect.
Closing:
Say: Let’s read through these reflections on the word respect from different religious traditions.
As we read each one, listen for commonalities and differences.
Ask: Is there one teaching that stands out to you as interesting or meaningful? Why?
1. Read this New York Times article Teaching Respect to the Faithful. Respond to the
following questions:
• What questions do you have about what you just read?
• What are some potential risks to the way a community functions when individuals
do not demonstrate respect for community expectations or norms?
2. What will you write in six words? Look at these sample Six-Word Memoirs. Consider them
as inspiration for writing your own original six-word story, reflection, or explanation of what
respect means to you:
• “Stay cool being Appropriate, Respectful, Responsible.” (Darve123 for Six-Word
Memoirs)
• “Funny, sports, home, comfortable, loud, respectful.” (jekn for Six-Word Memoirs)
• “Seek respect, not attention, it’ll last.” (Conred for Six-Word Memoirs)
22
Unit I, Lesson 3, Connect: Tools for Building Respect from Diverse Religions
Essential Question: What can different religions teach us about interpersonal respect?

• Learn about different teachings on showing respect from diverse religions.
• Recognize how showing respect can support positive interactions between individuals
and groups.
• Connect behaviors demonstrating respect to opportunities to build respect between
diverse individuals and groups.
Supplies:
• Copies of Handout 1: Teachings of Respect in Diverse Religions
• Scissors
• Tape
• Plain paper for draft versions of public service announcement (PSA) posters
Preparation:
• Make enough copies of Handout 1 for each student to receive one strip of paper with a
teaching, plus one additional set of 12 strips to be taped to a wall.
• Post one set of strips with teachings on interpersonal respect from diverse religions on
walls around the room.
• Place the other set of strips face down on a table.
Time: 50 minutes
Opening:
Invite students to walk around the room and view the different teachings on interpersonal respect
from diverse religions that have been taped on the walls.
Main Activity:
Ask: What kinds of behaviors do you think we would find in a place where people practice respect
for each other?
Distribute one strip of paper to each student. After students have had a chance to read their
teaching, ask if there are words or phrases they do not understand or would like to learn more
about.
Ask different students to read their teaching to the class until all 12 have been shared.
Ask: Why do you think people from these different religions thought it was important to have
teachings on showing respect?
Ask: What are some similarities or difference in the messages we have just heard?
Ask: How many of you have heard of the “Golden Rule?” Why do you think these statements are
sometimes called Golden Rule teachings?
23
Say: Another way to explore this concept of respect is through a variation of the Golden Rule called
the “Platinum Rule,” which is sometimes described like this: “Treat others as they would want to
be treated.”
Ask: How might following the Platinum Rule show interpersonal respect in a different way from
Golden Rule teachings?
Closing:
Instruct students to work in pairs to make a script for a short video or poster for a school-wide PSA
encouraging peers and teachers to interact with respect for each other.
1. Choose one religion from the teachings on interpersonal respect from world religions.
Research ways that this teaching is expressed in that religion.
2. Choose one religion from the teachings on interpersonal respect from world religions.
Research ways that this teaching has been expressed at different times throughout history.
3. Think of an example from literature where a character does or does not act according to the
universal messages conveyed across all the different teachings on interpersonal respect.
Explain your choice and what you notice about this character’s interactions with others.
24
Unit 1, Lesson 3, Handout #1: Teachings of Respect in Diverse Religions
Note to the teacher: Cut along dotted lines.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Baha’i
“And if thine eyes be turned towards justice, choose thou for thy
neighbor that which thou choosest for thyself.”
Epistle to the Son of the Wolf, 30
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Buddhism
“Hurt not others in ways you yourself would find hurtful.”
Udana-Varga, 5:18
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Christianity
“In everything do to others as you would have them do to you;
for this is the law and the prophets.”
Matthew 7:12
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Confucianism
“Do not unto others what you do not want them to do to you.”
Analects 15:13
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hinduism
“This is the sum of duty: do naught unto others which would
cause you pain if done to you.”
The Mahabharata, 5:1517
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Islam
“Not one of you is a believer until he loves for his brother what he
loves for himself.”
Fortieth Hadith of an-Nawawi, 13
25
Jainism
“A man should wander about treating all creatures as he himself
would be treated.
Surtrakritanga, 1:11:33
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Judaism
“What is hateful to you, do not do to your neighbor: that is the
whole of the Torah; all the rest of it is commentary.”
Talmud, Shabbat, 31a
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Native American
“Respect for all life is the foundation.”
The Great Law of Peace
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sikhism
“Don’t create enmity (hostility, bad feelings) with anyone as God
is within everyone.”
Guru Granth Sahib, p. 259
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Taoism
“Regard your neighbor’s gain as your own gain and your
neighbor’s loss as your own loss.”
T’ai Shang Kan Ying P’ien
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Zoroastrianism
“That nature (character) alone is good which refrains from doing
unto another whatsoever is not good for itself.”
Dadistan-I-Dinik, 94:5
26
Unit I, Lesson 4, Explore: Showing Empathy
Essential Question: How does showing empathy help us communicate respect?

• Learn how to define empathy.
• Recognize the importance of being able to show empathy.
• Connect the definition of empathy with actions or behaviors that demonstrate empathy.
Supplies:
• Chart paper
• Tape
• Internet access
Preparation:
• Display the following definition to students:

“Empathy: The ability to recognize and understand another person's feelings, even if we
have not experienced the same situation.”
• Display the following quotes to students:
• "If you can learn a simple trick, Scout, you'll get along a lot better with all kinds of
folks. You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point
of view..." – To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee
• I think we all have empathy. We may not have enough courage to display it. – Maya
Angelou
Time: 45 minutes
Opening:
Show students the video EMPATHY demonstrated in INSIDE OUT. an exploration of what empathy
means from Michael D. Nelson, CMHC, creator of PLAY THERAPY.
Ask: What do you think Dr. Nelson means when he says: “Rarely can a response make something
better. What makes something better is connection.”?
Main Activity:
Review the definition of empathy with students. Ask: What behaviors do we use to show empathy?
Record student responses.
Ask: Based on this definition and your ideas about behaviors that demonstrate empathy, how do
you think we can learn how to show empathy?
Display the two quotes listed under Preparation. Say: Let’s look at some quotes about empathy.
What can these quotes teach us?
Say: One way I began to recognize what empathy is was when I learned we use empathy to
understand fictional characters. How many of you have recognized, understood, or shared
experiences or emotions of a character in a story?
27
Ask: What are examples of a character from a book or show that you have empathized with?
Ask: What information do writers share with us about characters so that we can connect in a way
that helps us empathize?
Ask: Why is it sometimes difficult to empathize with another person?
Say: Share with a partner at least one time you used empathy to let another person know that you
cared about them.
Closing:
Ask: How do you think showing empathy can help us relate to other people?
1. Watch “Empathy” a short video from Sesame Street in Communities. Take turns explaining
to a partner how each of you would want to teach about the concept of empathy to
someone who has had different life experiences from you. (For example, because they are
older or younger than you are.)
• How would you demonstrate ways to show empathy?
• How would your approach be different from the way we learned about empathy in
class?
28
Unit I, Lesson 5, Apply: Valuing Diverse Identities
Essential Question: Why is it important to value each other’s unique identities?

• Learn that our characteristics help inform our identities.
• Explain how a person’s identities can contribute to how they see the world.
• Recognize that differences among people are normal and worthy of respect.
Supplies:
• Scissors
• Copies of Handout 1: Forms of Identity
• Blue, green, and black markers
• Blank 11x14 inch paper
• Three index cards for each student
• Internet access
Preparation:
• Have enough copies of Handout 1 for six groups of students to receive one strip of paper
with a discussion question.
• Display the following definition of “identity” for students:
“We use the word Identity to define characteristics important to who we are as individual
people and as members of groups. Identity is also used to describe how people may
perceive or label each other.”
Time: 60 minutes
Opening:
Review the displayed definition of identity.
Ask: Are there are any parts of this definition that stand out as interesting or important to question
and discuss?
Main Activity:
Divide students into five groups. Distribute one strip of paper from Handout 1 to each group.
Instruct groups to discuss their prompt, with each student sharing their personal answer to the
question, why their response is important to them, and how their answer helps them see the world.
Then, groups should discuss why it is valuable that so many of their identities are different from
each other’s.
When group discussions have concluded, ask each group to read their question and share some of
their responses so that everyone hears all five questions and a variety of answers.
List multiple examples of identities. Begin with some, or all, of these the suggestions:
• Ethnicity
• Gender
• Generation (“Gen Z” & “Gen Alpha”)
29
• Religious or Non-Religious Beliefs
• Socioeconomic Status
Read the list aloud to the class.
Say: This is a list of some identities that some people use to describe themselves or other people.
Some of the identities on the list may not apply to some of us personally; others might be central to
how we see ourselves. Ask students to continue to add to the list with other identities they are
aware of. Record student responses.
Ask: Which of these identities are visible? On the list use a blue marker to put a check next to the
identities students identify as sometimes or always visible.
Ask: Why is it important for us to recognize that some of our identities are visible?
Ask: Which identities on the list can be hidden, or are not obviously visible in an everyday
interaction? Use a black marker to check those that can be hidden or are not necessarily
easily identifiable.
Ask: Why is it important to recognize that some of our identities are not visible?
Ask: Can you think of an example of why a person would hide, or obscure, an aspect of
their identity?
Ask: What identities can be chosen, or changed, or change over time? Use a green marker to check
identities students say can change.
Ask: In what situations or settings might an identity change? What kind of impact do you think it has
on a person to know that parts of how they may identify themselves are changeable?
Say: Next, we are going to identify five different identities you would use to describe yourself. On
the large paper each of you have, please represent these five identities with either a quick drawing
or a word or two.
Say: Now, cover up one identity with one of your three index cards. Imagine that you have to hide or
deny that identity; you can no longer publicly acknowledge it as part of who you are or how you see
the world.
Ask: What was it like to cover one of your identities? Who found it easy? Who found it difficult to
choose one, or to make a choice to cover it at all?
Say: Now cover a second identity. Do not uncover the first identity you choose. Now you have
hidden two important parts of who you are.
Ask: Was deciding which identity to hide this time different than the first time? How did it make
you feel?
Ask: Should we keep going? Why is it difficult to cover up pieces of your identity like this?
30
Say: Suppose some of us could hold onto the five characteristics we chose, but some of us were
told we must change or hide some of the ways we identify ourselves. How do you think it would
affect us as a group of people who see and interact with each other every day?
Closing:
Show “Take a Seat, Make a Friend”, a short video from SoulPancake. Then ask students to get in
pairs and talk about identities each of them has. Once one common identity is discovered, partners
should share one story about this common identity with each other. Ask partners to share their
experience with the class.
Ask: How can we use our understanding of each other’s identities, both those that are shared
and those that are individual and unique, to strengthen our classroom as a community that
demonstrates respect?
1. Write an essay in which you explore how you see something from a specific historical
event, or era, compared to how someone of a different identity might see this issue.
2. Consider how two characters in a work of literature, or in a movie, have viewed the same
situation differently based on their different identities. Write a new scene from the point of
view of a character whose perspective might be largely shaped by their identity.
31
Unit I, Lesson 5, Handout #1: Forms of Identity
Note to the teacher: Cut along dotted lines.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
What is one tradition that is important to you or your family? Why
is it important? How does the tradition influence the way you see
the world?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Where were your parents, grandparents, or great grandparents
born? Where do some of these family members live now? Is the
idea of “where your family comes from” an important part of your
identity? How does your family’s origin influence the way you see
the world?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
What are some of your favorite foods? Why do you like them? Is
it important to you to be able to choose the food you eat? How
do your favorite foods influence the way you see the world?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
What is some of your favorite music? Why are certain artists and
their music important to you? Is it important to you to be able to
choose the kinds of music you listen to? How does your favorite
music influence the way you see the world?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Do you have a hobby? What is it? For how long, and why, has it
been an important thing that you make time to do? How does
your hobby influence the way you see the world?
32
Spotlight: Tanenbaum Peacemakers in Action Osnat Aram-Daphna and
Najeeba Sirhan
The Galilee, a region in northern Israel, is home to people of many faith traditions. In 2002, tensions
between the Jewish town of Karmiel and the neighboring Arab town of Majd al-Krum deepened. In
response, Osnat Aram-Daphna, principal of the Kalanit school in Karmiel, and Najeeba Sirhan,
principal of Al Salaam school in Majd al-Krum, decided to use their leadership positions to reach
out to each other. They participated in a regional program that focused on creating partnerships
between Arab and Jewish educators.
Osnat and Najeeba approached many educators, trying to persuade them to get involved.
Eventually, they each identified 10 teachers willing to begin a process of reconciliation between
these two small towns. The group of 20 educators met regularly and, after a year of meetings, had
established a network of mutual understanding and trust.
Osnat and Najeeba considered how to expand the reconciliation and collaboration process beyond
these educators to transform patterns of prejudice and intolerance on a larger scale in their two
communities. When parents resisted recruitment efforts, Osnat and Najeeba shifted their strategy
and attempted to organize a day trip for students of the two schools to meet each other. However,
many parents refused to allow their children to travel to the other town. Osnat and Najeeba
adjusted their approach again, this time organizing a day of joint activities at a “neutral” location,
an educational farm that both schools had previously visited.
The activities were successful, and students from the two schools began communicating as
email pen pals. Osnat and Najeeba then organized a marketplace event at Al Salaam school
where different market stands sold traditional food and crafts made by students. About 1,200
parents attended to support the students, thereby establishing contact between parents of
both communities.
The partnership between the two schools and their surrounding communities blossomed. Students,
teachers, and parents from both schools studied Judaism as well as Islam; encounters such as
religious holiday celebrations and visits to places of worship became integrated into the curricula
of both schools. To this day, students have the opportunity to participate in Arabic and Hebrew
language exchanges, and the two schools have a joint choir and soccer team. Inspired by
Osnat and Najeeba’s example, many parents have developed their own initiatives as well.
Because of the transformative power of education and intentional partnership, residents of Karmiel
and Majd al-Krum are able to interact as neighbors. Though Osnat passed away from cancer in
August 2008, Najeeba continues the work that they started together.
33
Map from “Maps of Israel,” World Atlas, https://www.worldatlas.com/maps/israel
34
Discussion and Reflection Questions:
1. In what ways did Osnat and Najeeba build community between the two schools?
2. Explore Shared Visions across religious traditions on interacting with respect. How might
similarities in Jewish and Muslim traditions be unifying for the students at the Kalanit and
Al Salaam schools?
3. How could skills like empathy, community building, and valuing diverse identities be used
to help continue Osnat and Najeeba’s work at the Kalanit and Al Salaam schools?
4. Using examples from local, national, or global current events, how do you think the
community building activities Osnat and Najeeba initiated could be applied to other
diverse communities in conflict?
5. What could you learn about yourself, or new friends, if your school joined a different school
for extracurricular activities like soccer or choir?
1. Learn more about Osnat and Najeeba:

• Read Osnat’s memorial page on the Tanenbaum website.
• Watch a video exploring Osnat and Najeeba’s work.
• Listen to a song of peace performed by English, Hebrew, and Arabic speakers
in Israel.
• Explore the website of the Interfaith Encounter Association, the organization
through which Osnat and Najeeba began their partnership.
2. One way that Osnat and Najeeba transformed their communities was through cultural
sharing – for example by bringing families together for a marketplace which sold traditional
food and crafts made by students. Ask students to attend a cultural fair or event in the local
community and share their thoughts in a short presentation.
3. Students at Kalanit school and Al Salaam school became pen pals. Initiate a pen pal project
between students in your class and students in a school with a different student
population.
35
Unit II: Understanding Conflict
36
Unit Two: Understanding Conflict introduces students to different types of conflicts and ways
to respond to them. The goal of this unit is to teach students that conflict is a normal part of life,
and that by understanding the factors that cause and complicate conflicts, they can develop
strategies for engaging with conflicts in a constructive manner.
This unit’s Anchor lesson introduces five styles of responding to conflicts. By analyzing and
differentiating these styles, students will learn not only that they can respond to conflict in different
ways according to the needs of the situation, but also what behaviors they can adopt to respond to
conflicts in particular ways. In the Create lesson, students will distinguish between types of
conflicts ranging from interpersonal to international and design webs expressing what conflict
means to them. The Connect lesson will allow students to distinguish between types of conflicts
ranging from interpersonal to international. And in this unit’s Explore and Apply lessons, students
consider how perceptual differences and perceptual biases impact conflict situations.
This unit spotlights Tanenbaum Peacemaker in Action Rev. Jacklevyn “Jacky” Frits Manuputty. Rev.
Jacky transformed a complex conflict in Indonesia that was rooted in religious and cultural
identities by addressing the mindsets and perceptions of each side. This spotlight challenges
students to connect the skills and lessons of Rev. Jacky’s story to their own lives.

• Self-awareness
NCSS Social Studies Themes:

• Culture • Civic ideals and practices
• Individuals, groups, and institutions • Individual development and identity
• Global connections
Common Core ELA-Literacy Standards:

• Speaking and listening • Writing
• Reading
Lessons:
1. Anchor: Five Styles of Responding to Conflict
2. Create: Conflict Webs
3. Connect: Identifying Types of Conflict
4. Explore: Correcting Perceptual Errors
5. Apply: Getting into the Right Mindset
Spotlight: Tanenbaum Peacemaker in Action Rev. Jacky Frits Manuputty
37
Unit II, Lesson 1, Anchor: Five Styles of Responding to Conflict
Essential Question: How can understanding different conflict styles help us engage with
conflict?

• Learn that there are different styles of responding to conflict.
• Connect conflict styles to the emotions and outcomes they elicit.
• Identify accommodation, avoidance, competition, compromise, and collaboration as styles
of responding to conflict.
• Explain which conflict styles should be used or avoided in different situations.
Supplies:
• Copies of Handout 1: Five Styles of Responding to Conflict
• Copies of Handout 2: Deciding Which Conflict Style to Use
Preparation:
• Have enough copies of Handouts 1 and 2 for every student to receive one copy of each.
Time: 45 minutes
Opening:
Ask: How do you typically act when you are in conflict with another person? Collect responses.
Say: Today we are going look at five styles someone might use to respond to conflict. As I introduce
each style, and ask follow-up questions, I would like you all to write down additional words and
ideas you associate with each style on Handout 1.
Read the following descriptions to the class:
1. Accommodation aims to meet the needs of the person you’re in conflict with, even if that
means ignoring your own needs. Suppose I accommodate someone when we disagree:
• How do you think it will make me feel during the conflict? What about over time?
• What circumstances might make me decide to use accommodation?
• When might I decide to use this style to reach a long-term solution to a conflict?
• When might I decide to use accommodation to reach a short-term solution?
2. Avoidance is taking action to withdraw from a conflict. Suppose when another person and I
get into a conflict I avoid them either physically or emotionally:
• What circumstances might make me decide to use avoidance?
• When might I decide to use avoidance to reach a long-term solution to a conflict?
• When might I decide to use avoidance to reach a short-term solution?
3. Competition is a style where someone aims to win the conflict. Suppose I and the person
I’m in conflict with are trying to win against each other:
• What circumstances might make me decide to use competition?
• When might I decide to use competition to reach a long-term solution to a conflict?
• When might I decide to use competition to reach a short-term solution?
38
4. Compromise aims to have all involved get a portion of what they want or need. Suppose I
try to find a compromise every time I encounter a conflict:
• What circumstances might make me decide to use compromise?
• When might I decide to use compromise to reach a long-term solution to a conflict?
• When might I decide to use compromise to reach a short-term solution?
5. Collaboration aims to acknowledge what all parties want and need in partnership. Suppose
working out a conflict is shaped by this goal:
• What circumstances might make me decide to use collaboration?
• When might I decide to use collaboration to reach a long-term solution to a
conflict?
• When might I decide to use collaboration to reach a short-term solution?
Main Activity:
Say: There is always more than one way to respond to a conflict. With a partner you are going to
read the different conflict scenarios on Handout 2. Together, you and your partner will decide on
two ways you might potentially engage in each conflict, as well as at least one way you should
probably avoid. Then, identify which conflict styles match with that way of approaching the conflict.
When everyone has had enough time to read and discuss each scenario, we will spend a few
minutes sharing our suggestions to see the similar or different conflict engagement styles that
different people might choose.
Closing:
Have your students take a Conflict Styles Assessment survey to learn more about their personal
“go to” styles of responding to conflict. This tool, from the United States Institute of Peace, is a
fascinating way to highlight how their thinking might lead them to intuitively respond to conflict.
For each of the 30 prompts in the survey, students will be asked to choose either statement “A” or
statement “B”. Tell students that if neither of the statements matches what they would do, they
should select the one that is the closest. There are no right or wrong answers to this survey, just
insight on how we think when approaching conflict.
1. Using video messages, posters, or other communication tools effective for school-wide
messaging, create a campaign encouraging students to learn the names of different
conflict engagement styles and why any of them might be used in different situations
or for different reasons.
39
Unit II, Lesson 1, Handout #1: Five Styles of Responding to Conflict
Name: __________________ Date: ____________
1. Accommodation: Modify, Give-in, Yield...

_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
2. Avoidance: Ignore, Postpone, Walk Away...

_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
3. Competition: Rivalry, Contest, Win or Lose...

_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
4. Compromise: Settle, Meet Partway...

_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
5. Collaboration: Acting Together, Solution Seeking, Agreement...

_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
40
Unit II, Lesson 1, Handout #2: Deciding Which Conflict Style to Use
• Accommodation aims to meet the other party’s needs, even if your own are unmet.
• Avoidance is taking action to withdraw from a conflict.
• Competition is a style that aims to get to a “winner.”
• Compromise aims to have all involved get a portion of what they want or need.
• Collaboration aims to acknowledge what all parties want and need in partnership.
1. You and your brother have weekend jobs. Recently he has gotten extra hours, and he’d like
to get more. Both of you have big papers due at the beginning of next week. You want to
get yours done ASAP so you can enjoy the weekend. Your brother wants to get his done
because he wants to work extra hours. Your brother suggests you take care of his chores
with the dog so that he can get his assignment out of the way. He says it seems fine for
you to help him out because you don’t work as many hours as he does. You feel really
disappointed with him because he does not see that his reason for wanting to avoid his
chores is just as valid as yours. Feelings between you and your brother are tense.
• Which way(s) of responding to the conflict might you choose? Why?

• Which would you not want to use? Why?
2. A group of students use a particular area of the schoolyard each lunchtime. Recently, a
group has been showing up at the same time and trying to use the same area for a softball
game. The students who have used the space to eat and socialize feel they are being
pushed out by this new group. The students who want to play softball feel they have a right
to use the area that best suits the game they want to play. Feelings between the two groups
are tense.

3. A high school football coach started praying with his players before and after games.
At most games he would “take a knee” at midfield and say a prayer with his players
surrounding him. This activity prompted the administrators to order the coach to stop
praying with students. The school and district leadership took the position that while they
would accommodate private religious expression, they could not legally allow a teacher to
pray in the public way that the coach was as it could be seen as the school's endorsement
of religion. The coach did not stop, and the district placed him on paid leave, citing his
failure to abide by the district's policy against encouraging or discouraging student religious
expression. Parents, students, and community members are divided between those who
support the coach’s religious expression, and those who think that what he was doing
doesn’t belong in schools.

Note to the teacher: For further reading on this scenario for an advanced class, show students
this article from the New York Times on the Supreme Court case Kennedy v. Bremerton.
41
Unit II, Lesson 2, Create: Conflict Webs
Essential Question: Conflict is not always bad. Why?

• Learn that both positive and negative outcomes can emerge from a conflict experience.
• Create a “Conflict Web” showing that conflict can create both positive and negative
experiences.
Supplies:
• One sheet of blank paper per group
• One red marker per group
• One green marker per group
• Internet access
Preparation:
• Create a sample Conflict Web to display.
• Divide the class into appropriately sized groups.
Time: 45 minutes
Opening:
Say: By a show of hands, how many of you think that conflict is generally bad?
Ask: Has anyone here ever experienced a conflict and thought that it was a positive experience
overall?
Main Activity:
Say: We are going to brainstorm words (including emotions, ideas, and questions) that come to
mind when thinking about conflict. To help us share and reflect on our ideas, we will create conflict
webs like this one I created earlier. Show students your example Conflict Web.
Say: One person in each group should begin by writing the word “conflict” at the center of your
paper. Each group member should then take turns adding words to paper around the word
“conflict” until members agree the group has no more words to add.
Note to the teacher: While most groups will gravitate towards negative associations with conflict,
this is an appropriate time to elevate a learning objective that conflict, as a normal part of living in
a diverse world, can encompass both negative and positive attributes. While negative outcomes
might be identified more easily, it is important to understand both types of experiences because
we can use this understanding to transform the experience of a conflict into a learning opportunity.
If all the responses on a group’s web are negative, encourage them to expand their responses.
Consider using the “10 Benefits of Conflict” list presented in this lesson’s Taking Informed
Action activity as suggestions.
When the webs are complete, ask each group to identify the words they consider negative and
connect those responses to the word “Conflict” in the center with a red marker. Next, have them
connect words they consider positive with a green marker. Ask student groups to discuss whether
42
the words on their web indicate that they see conflict as more often negative or more often positive
and why they might view conflict positively or negatively.
Closing:
Ask: Has this activity expanded or changed your thinking about conflict being good or bad in
any way?
1. The 10 Benefits of Conflict, a short article on Entrepreneur.com, describes the different

benefits of conflict. Read the article and then use the list below as a starting point to
describe why conflict can be helpful in a classroom, in sports, or in a community:
1. Opens our eyes to new ideas 6. Leads to solutions

2. Gives us an opportunity to verbalize 7. Lets us practice communication skills
our needs 8. Helps us to set limits
3. Teaches us flexibility 9. Helps us control emotions
4. Teaches us to listen 10. Allows us to differentiate ourselves
5. Teaches us patterns of behavior from others
43
Unit II, Lesson 3, Connect: Identifying Types of Conflict
Essential Question: Why is knowing about different types of conflict important?

• Learn about six different types of conflict: Interpersonal, Family, Community,
Intercommunity, National, and International.
• Analyze different types of conflict by identifying three W’s: Who the parties are, What the
conflict is about, and Why the parties see things differently.
Supplies:
• Copies of Handout 1: Types of Conflict
• Internet access
Preparation:
• Plan to divide the class into six groups.
• Make enough copies of Handout 1 that each student can have one.
• Display the following text to students:
“Types of Conflict:
• Interpersonal conflict = Two or more individuals
• Family conflict = Two or more members of a family
• Intracommunity conflict = Two or more groups from within one community
• Intercommunity conflict = Two or more communities
• National conflict = Two or more groups within a nation
• International conflict = Two or more nations”
• Display the following text to students:
“Constructive responses to conflict
• Show respect towards yourself.
• Show respect towards other parties involved.
Destructive responses to conflict
• Show disrespect towards yourself.
• Show disrespect towards other parties involved.”
Time: 50 minutes
Opening:
Note to the teacher: Invite building administrators or other school professionals to be in the room
for this lesson’s opening to demonstrate that different people in diverse roles and different lived
experiences all have personal experience with conflict. Encourage 100% of the class to reply to
the first question in the lesson affirmatively. Explain that the take-away of this activity is that
conflict is a normal part of life. Therefore, if you are a human, you have experienced or observed
conflict.
Ask: How many of us have ever been in, or just seen, a conflict occur?
Ask students to spend five minutes with a partner talking about a time each person has personally
observed or been in a conflict. Partners should ask each other the following questions to guide the
conversation:
• Who were the parties?
44
• What was the conflict about?
• Why did the parties see things differently?
• Was there a conclusion, or resolution, to this conflict to share?
Main Activity:
Explain that the class will identify six types of conflict: Interpersonal, Family, Intracommunity,
Intercommunity, National, and International.
Note to the teacher: Show the class Slide 1 to illustrate the different types of conflict.
Ask: Who are the parties involved in a(n):

• Interpersonal conflict? (Answers should include “two or more individuals.”)
• Family Conflict? (Answers should include “two or more members of a family.”)
• Intracommunity Conflict? (Answers should include “two or more groups from within
one community.”)
• Intercommunity Conflict? (Answers should include “two or more communities.”)
• National Conflict? (Answers should include “two or more groups within a nation.”)
• International Conflict? (Answers should include “two or more nations.”)
Divide the class into six groups and distribute Handout 1 to each group. Assign one type of
conflict to each group.
Say: Each group will read a different conflict scenario and analyze it together by identifying who the
parties are, what the conflict is about, and why the parties see things differently. Then groups will
brainstorm ideas for resolving the conflicts.
Ask each group to report to the class:

• What type of conflict did they analyze?
• What were the three W’s? (Who, What, and Why)
• Which styles of conflict response (see Unit II, Lesson 1, p. 38) might make it more likely
for the parties to find opportunities for a constructive (and not destructive) outcome?
Closing:
Say: This video featuring Robin Williams and friends shares an excellent explanation of interpersonal
conflict. Show students the video.
Say: Now we know that conflicts can take many different forms, including conflicts between
individuals (like in this funny clip), conflicts between groups, conflicts over long periods of time, or
conflicts across political and natural borders. Work with a partner or small group to select one type
of conflict and write, or record, an original explanation of that type of conflict. Make sure you include
the following information:
• What type of conflict is it?

• Which styles of conflict response (see Unit II, Lesson 1, p. 38) might make it more likely
for the parties to find opportunities for a constructive (and not destructive) outcome?
45
1. Review the following news articles representing different types of conflict. Meet with a small
group of students who are also reviewing these same articles. Discuss each one, or just a
few. Consider assigning each group member one type of conflict and asking each group
member to look for additional examples of their assigned type of conflict.
• Interpersonal: Dear Life Kit: Can I tell my neighbor to put their yappy dogs inside?
• Family: What Students Are Saying About Family Conflict in Quarantine, Starting
Over and Health Care Heroics
• Intracommunity: Should School Murals That Depict an Ugly History Be Removed?
• Intercommunity: Nigeria’s deadly conflicts over water and grazing pasture are
escalating – here’s why
• National: Public schools in West Virginia may soon be required to display 'In God
We Trust' in a 'conspicuous place'
• International: U.S.-China Relations Keep Getting Worse. Do They Have To?
2. For one week, keep a conflict journal. Each time you have, observe, or read about a conflict,
write about it. Answer these questions in your writing:
• What type of conflict was it?
• Did you experience or observe a conflict that you would have engaged in
differently? How?
46
Unit II, Lesson 3, Slide #1: Types of Conflict
47
Unit II, Lesson 3, Handout #1: Types of Conflict
Name: __________________ Date: ____________
1. Interpersonal Conflict: Fernando and Nat own a successful bakery and have been
arguing about whether to open a second location. Nat feels that opening a second bakery
will allow them to gain financial security. Fernando believes that the best way to achieve
financial security is to focus on making the existing bakery as successful as possible.
They both feel they are wasting a lot of time trying to convince the other.
2. Family Conflict: Nala, 14, and Braxton, 17, live with their mom. The family shares one car:
the kids drive to school together and their mom takes public transportation to work.
Braxton’s final soccer match is tonight, and his mom is planning to watch. Just before they
head out for the match, Nala comes running into the house. Panicked, she explains that her
cat is walking with a limp and that she needs her mom to drive her to the vet. Braxton
reminds Nala that he has to use the car to get to his match, and that he’s sure the cat is
fine. Nala bursts into tears.
3. Intracommunity Conflict: After a historic theater closed, a developer applied for a permit
to convert the building into apartments while promising to preserve some aspects of the
building’s history. Some community members support the application because the new
apartments will help solve a housing shortage. Others oppose it because of the historical
nature of the building and its emotional value to the community. Discussions about the
future of the building have become heated because there is no concrete understanding
about what change will look like and what it will mean for those who value the site as
a landmark.
4. Intercommunity Conflict: The countries of Burkina Faso, Chad, Mali, Mauritania Niger,
and Nigeria are part of the Sahel region in Africa. This natural and political region has
experienced long-running conflicts for water, land, and other resources between Nomadic
herdsmen and settled farmers. In recent decades, the violent clashes between communities
have escalated as drought and environmental degradation have forced the herdsmen to
graze their cattle in areas used for large-scale farming.
5. National Conflict: From the late 1960s through the 1990s, Northern Ireland experienced a
period of violent conflict. Unionists, who were mostly Protestant, wanted Northern Ireland to
remain part of the United Kingdom, while Irish nationalists, who were mostly Catholic,
wanted Northern Ireland to unite with the Republic of Ireland. This conflict led to riots, the
deployment of British troops, and reprisal attacks targeting civilians and the military.
6. International Conflict: Nations sharing religious and cultural histories, as well as political
borders, have a long-standing dispute over territory. Clashes between groups living on
either side of the border threaten a region with forests, endangered plants and animals, and
farmland. Leaders of both nations are eager to transform the conflict and find long-term
resolutions without giving up resources or looking weak.
48
Unit II, Lesson 3, Handout #1: Types of Conflict
Name: __________________ Date: ____________
What is the conflict about?

_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
Who are the parties in this conflict?

_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
Why do the parties see things differently?

_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
What are your ideas for resolving this conflict?

_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
Explain what makes your ideas constructive and not destructive.

_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
49
Unit II, Lesson 4, Apply: Correcting Perceptual Errors
Essential Question: How can perceptual differences, errors, and biases create different sides to
the same story and contribute to conflict?

• Define perceptual differences, errors, and biases.
• Identify common types of perceptual errors or biases.
• Recognize how perceptual differences, errors, and biases create barriers to
communication.
• Understand how perceptual biases can contribute to prejudice and conflict.
• Reflect on ways to overcome perceptual biases.
Supplies:
• Copies of Handout 1: The Maligned Wolf
• Internet access
Preparation:
• Make enough copies of Handout 1 for each student to have one.
Time: 50 minutes
Opening:
Ask: What are perceptual differences?
Note to the teacher: You can use Handout 1: What Do You See? from Unit II, Lesson 5 (p.
55) to supplement this opening question.
After getting student ideas, share the definition of perceptual differences: “Perceptual differences
occur when people are exposed to the same people, places, objects, or experiences, and perceive
them in different ways.” Explain that some perceptual differences are just differences, whereas
others reflect errors.
Ask: What is a perceptual error? After getting student ideas, share the definition of a perceptual
error: “An inaccurate perception of a person, place, object, or experience. Explain that many
perceptual errors are rooted in perceptual biases.” Share the definition of perceptual biases:
“Shortcuts that people take in organizing information and giving it meaning based on pre-existing
beliefs, expectations, or emotions.”
Main Activity:
Share the following five perceptual errors and biases. As you introduce each one, ask students to
think of an example of each.
1. Selective Perception: Paying attention only to the information that confirms or supports
our understanding. (Example: noticing only the positive things about one’s preferred political
candidate and only the negative things about their opponent.)
2. Stereotyping: Assigning characteristics to a person or group based on their identity.
(Example: making assumptions about someone based on their religion.)
50
3. Halo Effect: Generalizing about a variety of characteristics we think a person should, or
must, have based on one characteristic alone. (Example: assuming that someone who is
attractive is also intelligent or kind.)
4. Projection: The tendency to attribute one’s own feelings or characteristics to other people.
Especially when we experience negative feelings, we may project them to other people to
avoid admitting that they are a part of us. (Example: a student who cheats in school and
suspects or accuses others of cheating.)
5. Perceptual Defense: Protecting our confidence in what we believe by ignoring
information that undermines or threatens our belief. (Example: a parent who has a “blind
spot” about their child’s misbehavior.)
Distribute Handout 1 and read the story The Maligned Wolf. Divide the class into pairs, then ask
students to re-read the story with a partner and discuss the questions on the handout together.
After students have completed the assignment, ask for volunteers to share their answers.
Note to the teacher: You can deepen the discussion of perceptual biases by showing scenes from
the film 12 Angry Men. A variety of scenes (15 total) from the movie are available for students to
view in this video: 12 Angry Men.
Explain that the class will continue the discussion of perceptual biases by watching clips from the
American classic film, 12 Angry Men, which is considered one of the greatest courtroom dramas
ever made. The film is set in a New York City courthouse jury room in the 1950s, and it is the story
of twelve white men who must decide the fate of a Puerto Rican teenager charged with murder.
At this point, the prosecutor and the defense attorney have made their closing arguments, and
the case is in the jury’s hands. The clips in this lesson show a series of conflicts the jurors have
with one another as they argue about whether to find the young man guilty or not guilty.
Say: As you watch the scenes, look for examples of perceptual errors or bias.
After watching the scenes, ask: What examples of perceptual biases do you see in these scenes?
In particular, what examples of stereotyping do you see? What examples of projection do you see?
How did perceptual biases contribute to conflicts between the jurors?
Closing:
Ask: How do perceptual errors or biases create different sides to a story—or totally different stories?
How can perceptual biases make it difficult to communicate with others? How can they contribute
to prejudice and conflict? Have you ever looked at a situation in your own life one way, but changed
your mind after you listened to another person’s perspective or side of the story? How do you think
people can overcome perceptual biases?
1. Choose a well-known children’s story, select a scene, and describe the scene from the
point of view of one specific character. Emphasize differences in how the characters see
situations and each other. These classic titles work well, or pick your own!
• Little Miss Muffet from the spider's perspective
• The Three Little Pigs from the wolf's perspective
• The Little Mermaid from Ursula’s perspective
• The Lion King from Scar’s perspective
51
2. Take a look at these images of mushrooms from MY MODERN MET. Pick a few of the
photographs with a partner. Take turns describing what you see. Before moving on to
another photo make sure you and your partner discuss the different ways you each
described the same image.
52
Unit II, Lesson 4, Handout #1: The Maligned Wolf
Name: __________________ Date: ____________
Instructions: Read the story below with a partner and then work together to answer the questions
on the next page.
The Maligned Wolf
The forest was my home. I lived there, and I cared about it. I tried to keep it neat and clean. Then
one sunny day, while I was cleaning up some garbage a camper had left behind, I heard footsteps.
I leaped behind a tree and saw a little girl coming down the trail carrying a basket. I was suspicious
of this little girl right away because she was dressed funny – all in red, and her head covered up as
if she didn't want people to know who she was. Naturally, I stopped to check her out. I asked who
she was, where she was going, where she had come from, and all that.
She gave me a song and dance about going to her grandmother's house with a basket of lunch.
She appeared to be a basically honest person, but she was in my forest... and she certainly looked
suspicious with that strange getup of hers. So, I decided to teach her just how serious it is to
prance through the forest unannounced and dressed funny. I let her go on her way, but I ran ahead
to her grandmother's house. When I saw that nice old woman, I explained my problem, and she
agreed that her granddaughter needed to learn a lesson, all right. The old woman agreed to stay
out of sight until I called her. Actually, she hid under the bed.
When the girl arrived, I invited her into the bedroom where I was in the bed, dressed like the
grandmother. The girl came in all rosy-cheeked and said something nasty about my big ears. I've
been insulted before, so I made the best of it by suggesting that my big ears would help me to hear
better. Now, what I meant was that I liked her and wanted to pay close attention to what she was
saying. But she made another insulting crack about my bulging eyes. Now you can see how I was
beginning to feel about this girl who put on such a nice front but was apparently a very nasty
person. Still, I've made it a policy to turn the other cheek, so I told her that my big eyes helped me
to see her better. Her next insult really got to me. I've got this problem with having big teeth, and
that little girl made an insulting crack about them.
I know that I should have had better control, but I leaped up from that bed and growled that my
teeth would help me to eat her better. Now let's face it – no wolf could ever eat a little girl, everyone
knows that – but that crazy girl started running around the house screaming, with me chasing her to
calm her down. I'd taken off the grandmother's clothes, but that only seemed to make it worse.
All of a sudden, the door came crashing open, and a big lumberjack is standing there with his axe. I
looked at him, and it quickly became clear that I was in trouble. There was an open window behind
me, and I went out. I'd like to say that was the end of it. But that grandmother character never did
tell my side of the story. Before long, the word got around that I was mean, nasty, big, and bad!
Everybody started avoiding me. I don't know about that little girl with the funny red outfit, but I
didn't live happily ever after. (Adapted from: The Maligned Wolf © 1980 Leif Fearn)
53
Name: __________________ Date: ____________
Questions:
1. Identify instances of selective perception, stereotyping, halo effect, projection, or

perceptual defense.
__________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________
2. How did you feel about the wolf in “The Little Red Riding Hood” before reading this story?
What have you learned from this story about the wolf’s perspective?
__________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________
3. How did you feel about Little Red Riding Hood before reading this story? How do you feel
about Little Red Riding Hood now?
__________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________
54
Unit II, Lesson 5, Explore: Getting into a Productive Mindset
Essential Question: How do personal differences like mindset and perception shape how
we engage with conflict?

• Define mindset and explain how it shapes how we engage with conflict.
• Define perception and explain how it shapes how we engage with conflict.
• Recognize how differences in mindset and perception can contribute to conflict.
Supplies:
• Copies of Handout 1: What Do You See?
• Internet access
Preparation:
Time: 50 minutes
Opening:
Display the following statement: “In a conflict, a person’s mindset can be 90 percent of the problem
or 90 percent of the solution.”
Ask: What is mindset? After getting student ideas, display the definition of mindset: “A fixed
attitude, disposition, or mood.” Ask: Keeping this definition in mind, what does this statement
mean? Can you relate to it?
If relevant, refer back to previous lessons about factors that shape conflict and how we approach
it—identity, empathy, and the value we place on diverse identities and perspectives (Unit I,
Lessons 4 and 5, pp. 27, 29). Say: Our approach to conflict is shaped by many personal factors
that may be less obvious and more complicated than the facts of the situation or the party’s
interests. We are going to look at two of these personal factors today – mindset and perception.
Main Activity:
Ask students to think of conflicts they have seen or experienced when someone’s mindset was “90
percent of the problem.” Ask: What words would you use to describe these mindsets? (Answers
might include: confrontational, stubborn, antagonistic, combative, angry, accusatory, prejudiced,
defensive, irritable, obstinate, inflexible, or judgmental.)
Ask students to think of conflicts they have seen or experienced when someone’s mindset was “90
percent of the solution.” Ask: What words would you use to describe these mindsets? Give
students the opportunity to come up with a variety of words, and write them on a white board,
smart board, or chart paper. (Answers might include compromising, collaborative, open, flexible,
empathic, sympathetic, nonjudgmental, or receptive.)
Ask: How do you feel if you are in a conflict with someone whose mindset is “90 percent of the
problem?” How might this affect your response to the situation?
55
Ask: How would you respond differently to someone whose mindset is “90 percent of the solution?”
How does mindset affect your ability to achieve a constructive resolution to a conflict?
Explain that another personal factor that affects the way we approach and engage with conflict
is perception. Ask: What is perception? After getting student ideas, display the definition of
perception: “The unique way individuals view and interpret the world around them, which is
influenced by previous experiences, beliefs, and motivations.” Review the definition with students.
Explain that different people can have different perceptions of the same experience or thing based
on a variety of factors. Distribute Handout 1 and give students three minutes to write a brief
description of each of the images on the handout in the space provided.
When all students have completed the assignment, divide the class into pairs and ask the partners
to share their perceptions with one another. Then give each pair a chance to share their per-
ceptions, and whether their perceptions are the same or different, with the class. For each image,
you can keep track of students’ perceptions on a white board, smart board, or chart paper.
Ask: What can our differing perceptions about these pictures tell us about how perception affects
what we believe we see or know?
Closing:
Ask: What have we learned about the impact of mindset and perception on conflict? How can
differences in mindset and perception make conflict more likely, or make it more difficult to resolve?
Can understanding these differences in mindset and perception help us deal with conflict more
constructively? How?
1. Create a short essay, presentation, or video to illustrate the following concept:
What techniques or skills can you use to maintain a “90 percent of the solution” mindset,
even when you’re dealing with someone with a “90 percent of the problem” mindset?
How can recognizing where the other person is coming from help you keep your cool?
56
Unit II, Lesson 5, Handout #1: What Do You See?
Name: __________________ Date: ____________
What do you see in the images below? Different people can perceive the same picture differently.
Write your answer in the space below each image.
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
57
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
What can our perceptions of these pictures tell us about how perception affects what we believe
we see or know?
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
58
Spotlight: Tanenbaum Peacemaker in Action Reverend Jacklevyn “Jacky”
Frits Manuputty
Between 1999 and 2003, violent conflict between Muslims and Christians in the Maluku Islands of
Indonesia killed 10,000 people and displaced over 500,000. Reverend Jacklevyn “Jacky” Frits
Manuputty responded with peace campaigns and advocacy.
As he facilitated meetings between Muslims and Christians, Rev. Jacky utilized what he called the
“hot porridge method.” He would encourage participants to discuss areas of commonality and build
rapport before discussing differences and other “hot” topics. He analogizes this to someone eating
porridge: start with the cool outer portion before moving to the hotter porridge further inside the
bowl.
Because he communicated with people on all sides of the conflict, he was at times labeled the
“enemy” by Christians and Muslims alike, as well as the Indonesian military and police. He
continued his work despite death threats and the destruction of his home. After much negotiation,
agreement was in sight. In February 2002, Rev. Jacky personally signed the Malino II Peace
Agreement, which ended the violence.
Rev. Jacky was concerned by the lack of local peacebuilding efforts, so he co-founded the Maluku
Interfaith Institution for Humanitarian Action, known by the acronym LAIM. LAIM creates programs
that build the community’s resilience, promotes positive public dialogue, and trains a diverse group
of individuals on how to transform conflict. In LAIM’s “live-in” program, clergy members spend
overnights in each other’s homes in order to build trust and work together to solve social problems
in the country. Rev. Jacky and his colleagues developed a peace curriculum, an interfaith peace
sermon program, and a trauma healing program. Additionally, LAIM supports community
development initiatives and expands the local government’s capacity to build peace.
When violent conflict rose again in 2011, Rev. Jacky formed groups of youth called “Peace
Provocateurs.” These Peace Provocateurs initiated social media and “texting for peace” campaigns
that were widely successful in correcting disinformation, limiting the scope of the conflicts, and
preventing conflicts from spreading.
In addition to his conflict transformation work, Rev. Jacky initiated an environmental campaign
called Save Aru Islands. Using the hashtag #SaveAru, the campaign promoted awareness for the
Aru Islands on social media, which were threatened by a governmental plan to develop the islands
into sugar cane plantations.
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Map from “Maps of Indonesia,” World Atlas, https://www.worldatlas.com/maps/indonesia
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Discussion and Reflection Questions
1. Rev. Jacky utilizes what he calls the “hot porridge” method for peacebuilding. What is an
example of an interpersonal, family, intracommunity, intercommunity, national, or
international conflict that could be effectively approached using the hot porridge method?
2. How do skills like understanding types of conflict, knowing your conflict style, and
recognizing perceptual errors connect to Rev. Jacky’s story? How could these skills be
used in other places across the globe?
3. What type(s) of conflict are exhibited in this case study? Which conflict style(s) did Rev.
Jacky use to transform this conflict?
4. Rev. Jacky worked with youth “Peace Provocateurs” who initiated social media and text
campaigns for peace. What is the role of technology in modern peacebuilding? How have
you seen activism and peacebuilding efforts play out on social platforms?
5. How did religious or cultural identities play a role in this conflict in the Maluku Islands?
How do religious or cultural identities play a role in Rev. Jacky’s peacebuilding work?
Taking Informed Action
1. Learn more about Rev. Jacky:

• Read a Jakarta Post article in which Rev. Jacky speaks about religion and conflict
in the Malukus.
• Watch a video of Rev. Jacky during Peacemakers in Action interventions in the
Philippines and Indonesia.
• Listen to a podcast on Rev. Jacky’s conflict transformation and peacebuilding
work.
• Explore information about Rev. Jacky’s environmental campaign to save
Aru Islands.
2. Identify and interview someone in the local community who has transformed a conflict.
Students could write a paper, give a presentation, or create an art project or podcast
reflecting knowledge or insights gained through their interview experience.
3. An innovative and contemporary strategy Rev. Jacky used was mobilizing Indonesian youth
to build peace in the Peace Provocateur movement. Ask students to identify, research, and
present reflections on young people and organizations such as Greta Thunberg, Malala
Yousafzai, Marley Diaz, the Interfaith Youth Core, UNAOC Young Peacebuilders, or the
Rose Castle Foundation, who are working to build peace or transform conflict.
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Unit III: Transforming Conflict with Self-Understanding
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Unit III: Transforming Conflict with Self-Understanding engages students in learning about
their own backgrounds, core values, and emotional tendencies. Students will learn to recognize
constructive behaviors and avoid destructive behaviors in moments of conflict.
This unit’s Anchor lesson lets students experience how cultural and religious differences impact
conflicts. In the Create lesson, students will map the sources of their identity and reflect on how
their identities shape the beliefs and core values they live by. Students will also have the
opportunity to reflect on how they would react if these values were challenged in a conflict
situation. The Connect lesson provides strategies for students to channel anger into constructive
behaviors. Students work on reframing conflicts in ways that help them channel their emotions
while honoring their core values in the Explore lesson. In this unit’s Apply lesson, students will
learn breathing techniques to help them manage stress reactions.
The unit concludes with a spotlight on Peacemaker in Action Dishani Jayaweera. In post-conflict
Sri Lanka, Dishani transforms conflict using an interpersonal approach rooted in self-understanding
and reappraisal. This spotlight challenges students to connect the skills and lessons of Dishani’s
story to their own lives.
Competencies, Themes, and Standards
CASEL Core Competencies

• Self-awareness
NCSS Themes
• Individual development and identity • Individuals, groups, and institutions
• Global connections
Common Core English Language Arts-Literacy Standards

• Listening and speaking • Writing
Lessons:
1. Anchor: How Culture Shapes Conflict
2. Create: Where I Come From
3. Connect: Recognizing and Channeling Anger
4. Explore: Reappraising Conflict Situations
5. Apply: Using Focused Breathing to Decrease Stress
Spotlight: Tanenbaum Peacemaker in Action Dishani Jayaweera
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Unit III, Lesson 1, Anchor: How Culture Shapes Conflict
Essential Question: Why is it important to understand different cultures and religions?

• Learn how interacting with people with different practices (norms) can lead to different
experiences of the same event.
Supplies:
• Handout 1: Cultural Tea Party Role Cards, cut into strips
• Simple “tea party” drinks and snacks to support a full kinesthetic learning experience
• Internet access
Preparation:
• Cut the Role Cards in Handout 1 into strips, such that one strip can be given to each of
the four groups.
• Reconfigure the classroom as needed creating open space for students to mingle.
Time: 45 minutes
Opening:
Tell students that they have been invited to a party. It’s an important social event where they will
have the opportunity to mingle with people from other cultures. The goal is to engage with many
people from other groups on topics like what they did last summer, what their favorite meal is, or
what their ideal vacation would be. Students can be creative in what they choose to talk about.
Divide students into four groups and give a Cultural Tea Party Role Card from Handout 1 to each
group. Ask one student to read their card to the group very quietly, so as to not share the
information with other groups. Once all groups are ready, instruct students from different groups to
begin talking with each other.
Bring the activity to an end when most or all students have had the opportunity to engage with
members of all the other groups.
Main Activity:
Ask students to describe the feelings they had during their interactions. Students may describe a
range of positive and negative feelings, including feeling surprised, confused, amused, or
offended. List student responses and note any common responses across multiple groups.
Ask for each group to read the instructions on their card to the class.
Ask: Do you feel differently now that you understand each group’s instructions?
Explain that this activity demonstrates how not recognizing differences in norms can complicate our
interactions with one another.
Ask: What is culture? After getting student ideas, share the definition of culture: “The customary
beliefs, norms, and traits of a group.” Review the definition with students.
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Say: When people talk about culture, they often talk about religion.
Ask: What is religion? After getting student ideas, display the definition of religion: “Human beings’
relationship with what they see as holy, sacred, absolute, or spiritual.” Review the definition
with students.
Ask: How is religion related to culture? How can both involve differences in people’s norms?
How do both involve differences in people’s beliefs? How do both involve differences in people’s
practices?
Ask: What are some examples of differences in norms and practices that you experienced in this
activity? How did cultural differences between the groups complicate the interactions?
Ask: How can cultural differences lead to different experiences of the same event or interaction?
Ask: How can different ways of communicating lead to misunderstandings even when there is no
actual disagreement?
Closing:
Say: When we meet people with different cultures or religious experiences, we can make snap
judgments about them without understanding their community norms. An alternative is to show
respectful curiosity about another person's cultural identity, religious identity, or any other identity.
Can you think of ways to communicate respectfully across cultural or religious divides?
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Unit III, Lesson 1, Handout #1: Cultural Tea Party Role Cards
Note to the teacher: Cut along the dotted lines.
The Purple Culture: You are eager to interact with new people and communicate your respect
for them. In your culture, there are several ways you show respect for others:
• You start every conversation by placing your hands together quietly in front of you with your
palms touching.
• You keep one arm’s length distance between you and the person you are talking with,
avoiding physical contact.
• You begin everything you say with the following words “no harm, no harm...”
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Green Culture: You are eager to interact with new people and communicate your respect for
them. In your culture, there are several ways you show respect for others:
• You sit and look down to show that you are listening when someone else is speaking.
• When you are asked a question, you count to five before you respond to make sure the
person has finished their thought.
• You only answer questions, you never initiate conversation to show you care about what the
other person might be wanting to say.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Blue Culture: You are eager to interact with new people and communicate your respect for
them. In your culture, there are several ways you show respect for others:
• You start every conversation by clapping your hands together loudly while extending your
arms in front of you to show that communication can be verbal or physical.
• When speaking to someone, you always stand shoulder to shoulder to show that you are
listening carefully.
• You talk with your eyes looking at your feet to not make anyone else look directly at your
face. You are not more important to look at than anyone else in the room.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Orange Culture: You are eager to interact with new people and communicate your respect
for them. In your culture, there are several ways you show respect for others:
• You always maintain direct eye contact when speaking or listening to show that you are
engaged in the conversation.
• You smile and laugh after every sentence anyone else says to show you have heard them.
• You never allow silence in a conversation to avoid making others uncomfortable.
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Unit III, Lesson 2, Create: Where I Come From
Essential Question: Why does knowing more about who we are help us understand others?

• Identify core personal values.
• Connect ancestry, family, traditions, communities, and life experiences to identity.
• Create “Where I Come From” maps.
• Recognize how they feel when an aspect of their identity or core values is challenged.
Supplies:
• Copies of Handout 1: “Where I Come From” Maps
• Copies of Handout 2: Core Values
• Magazines
• Scissors
• Glue
• Markers and Colored Pencils
• Optional: student-sourced photographs representing ancestry, family, traditions,
communities, or life experiences.
• Internet access
Preparation:
• Make enough copies of Handouts 1 and 2 for each student to have one.
• Create your own “Where I Come From” map to show to students.
Time: 40 minutes for day one, 50 minutes for day two
Opening:
Tell students to think about times in their lives when they have come into conflict with others, giving
them time to think of specific experiences.
Ask: What feelings did you experience?
Invite students to share feelings experienced with the class. Ask a student to record comments that
are shared.
Ask students what these feelings do or don’t have in common. Note that all these emotions can be
intense and personal, and this is especially true when one or more parties feels that the conflict
challenges an aspect of their identity. Explain that today the class is going to look at how identity
shapes perspective. Understanding our identities will make us better able to engage with conflict in
a constructive way.
Main Activity – Day One:
Explain that today, students are going to create maps which will enable them to explore their
identities in more detail. These maps will allow them to show and explain the paths that have led
them to become the person they are today. Distribute Handout 1.
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Note to the teacher: If you have created your own “Where I Come From” Map, show it to the
class as an example, outlining what it shows about you.
Explain that the students will work on their map individually to illustrate the people, places,
experiences, and objects that formed them into the person they are today including their ancestry,
their family, the cultural and religious traditions they follow, the communities they are part of, and
their life experiences. Emphasize that students can show as much or as little about their lives as
they are comfortable doing.
Directions for engagement in this exercise are flexible. The maps can use words, pictures, or a
combination of both. They can include collages, drawings, written messages, photographs, or other
creative forms of expression.
Main Activity – Day Two:
Give students the opportunity to share their maps.
Once students have shared their maps, ask them to hang them up around the classroom, creating a
“Where We Come From” gallery. Invite students to move around the room to see one another’s
maps.
Closing:
Encourage students to reflect on the experience of creating and sharing “Where I Come From”
Map. Ask the following questions:
• What did you learn from your own map?
• What did you learn from other maps?
• How were different students maps alike or different?
Say: Sometimes, experiences stand out to us as important. When ideas drawn from one of our
experiences helps us guide our lives, we call those ideas our “core values.”
Ask: What did you learn about your core values by creating a map? How do your core values
shape choices you make in life? What feelings might you experience if core value of yours
was challenged?
1. Use the 26 core value words representing the alphabet on Handout 2 as inspiration to
think of an additional 26 words (one word for each letter, A-Z) representing ideas you or
others might hold as core values.
Note to the teacher: The website Power Thesaurus, or any other thesaurus of your choice, is a
great tool to share with students for this activity.
2. Visit this website to explore either, or both, of the following two interesting (and free)
resources about core values:
• Personal Values Assessment
• Descriptions of Personal Values
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Unit III, Lesson 2, Handout #1: “Where I Came From” Maps
Name: __________________ Date: ____________
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Unit III, Lesson 2, Handout #2: Core Values
Name: __________________ Date: ____________
Ambition
Beauty
Creativity
Determination
Education
Family
Gratitude
Honesty
Independence
Justice
Kindness
Love
Motivation
Nice
Openness
Peace
Quality
Religion
Success
Tradition
Uniqueness
Vitality
Wealth
Xenia
Yourself
Zealous
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Unit III, Lesson 3, Explore: Recognizing and Channeling Anger
Essential Question: What can we do when we realize we are angry?

• Learn about anger triggers, anger feelings, and anger expressions.
• Recognize the impact anger has on feelings and behavior.
• Identify constructive and destructive ways to express anger.
• Connect different expressions of anger with strategies for channeling
anger constructively.
Supplies:
• Copies of Handout 1: Quotes About Anger
• Copies of Handout 2: What Makes Me Angry
• Chart paper
• Internet access
Preparation:
• Display the following definitions:
• “Anger Triggers are the things that can make us angry.
• Anger Feelings are the emotional reactions we can have when angry.
• Anger Expressions are behaviors that might express anger.”
• Display the following definitions:
• “Constructive Expression: The behaviors through which we express anger can be
constructive and demonstrate respect for oneself and for others. Constructive
behaviors tend to de-escalate anger and conflict situations.
• Destructive Expression: The behaviors through which we express anger
demonstrate disrespect for oneself and for others. Destructive behaviors tend to
escalate anger and conflict situations.”
Time: 50 minutes
Opening:
Distribute Handouts 1 and 2.
Ask different students to read one quote from Handout 1 to the class. After all quotations have
been read ask students to share with a partner one quote they relate to in some way and why the
quote is meaningful to them.
Say: Like conflict, getting angry is a normal part of life. It is important that each of us learns how to
recognize anger as well as understand how anger affects our thinking and our behavior because
people respond to their own anger and the anger of others in a variety of ways.
Main Activity:
Say: Let’s start by understanding what the different parts of the anger experience are.
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Review “anger triggers,” “anger feelings,” and “anger expressions” definitions.
Instruct students to complete each prompt on Handout 2. After students have had time to
complete the handout, divide the class into small groups. Ask group members to discuss their
responses for each category.
Say: The behaviors through which we express our anger can be constructive – demonstrate respect
for oneself and/or for others – or they can be destructive – demonstrate disrespect for oneself
and/or others. Destructive behaviors tend to escalate anger and conflict situations, while
constructive behaviors tend to de-escalate anger and conflict situations.
Instruct each group to divide their chart paper into two categories: constructive expressions of
anger and destructive expressions of anger. Students should create a list of examples for both
categories by drawing from the expressions they brainstormed in Handout 2 or coming up with
new examples. Have students post their constructive/destructive lists around the room and do a
"gallery walk" to look through other groups’ lists.
When all students have had a chance to look through all the displayed lists, ask them what they
noticed looking at different groups’ lists.
Say: Once we gain awareness of which behaviors are constructive and which are destructive, we
can learn strategies for channeling anger into constructive, rather than destructive, behaviors. What
are some guidelines or strategies you can think of for constructively channeling anger during a
conflict? List student responses.
Note to the teacher: To build on students’ brainstormed guidelines for channeling anger
constructively, review the following list of guidelines with students:
• Give yourself and others involved in a conflict enough physical space.

• Talk in a conversational tone of voice.
• Be patient when anyone else is speaking. Thank all involved for being willing to talk and
to listen.
• Learn to recognize the positive behaviors that work best for you to defuse your anger.
• Transforming anger should never cause harm to a person or an object.
Closing:
Say: Because each of us is unique, we need to find out for ourselves what kinds of situations trigger
anger. Once we have identified how we usually think and behave when angry, we can begin learning
how to channel anger in ways that will put us in control of our reactions and behaviors in ways that
are constructive rather than destructive.
1. Think of a character in a book, movie, or TV show where a character became angry with
another character. Write a brief essay in which you:
• State the name of the book, movie, or TV show and the name of the character they
are writing about.
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• Explain what made the character angry and why they remember the part in the book
or movie or the TV episode so clearly.
• Describe how the character dealt with their anger.
• Share what advice they would have given the character about how to handle anger.
2. Make a playlist of music that might help transform anger when working through a conflict.
Explain why your choices are meaningful to you.
3. For one week, keep an anger journal. Any time you encounter a conflict, or other
experience, that makes you angry, write about it. Any time you observe anger that results
from a conflict between other people, write it down.
Record in your anger journal:

1. What anger triggers did you observe or experience?
2. How did the feeling of anger get expressed?
3. What did you, or the people in the situation you observed, do to channel their anger
in a constructive way?
73
Unit III, Lesson 3, Handout #1: Quotes About Anger
1. We boil at different degrees. Clint Eastwood
2. When angry, count to ten before you speak. If very angry, count to one hundred.
Thomas Jefferson
3. When you hold on to anger and unforgiveness, you can't move forward. Mary J. Blige
4. The Prophet Muhammad mentioned: "The powerful man is not the one who can wrestle, but
the powerful man is the one who can control himself at the time of anger." Quran 2:153
5. The main destroyer of a peaceful mind is anger. Dalai Lama
6. And as soon as he came near the camp... Moses’ anger burned hot, and he threw the
tablets out of his hands and broke them at the foot of the mountain. Exodus 32:19
7. I was very fortunate to play sports. All the anger in me went out. I had to do what I had to
do. If you stay angry all the time, then you really don't have a good life. Willie Mays
8. Generally speaking, if a human never shows anger, then I think something's wrong.
Dalai Lama
9. You will not be punished for your anger; you will be punished by your anger. Buddha
10. In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.
2 Ephesians 4:26
www.brainyquote.com
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Unit III, Lesson 3, Handout #2: What Makes Me Angry
Name: __________________ Date: ____________
If you know what makes you angry, and how it makes you feel or act you can often see an anger-
producing situation coming and take steps to transform anger. We can reflect on how anger shows
up by brainstorming triggers that make us angry, the feelings of anger, and the ways people
express anger through their behavior.
Use the numbered spaces below to write down personal anger triggers, anger feelings and
anger expressions.
Anger Triggers are the things that can make us angry.

1. _______________________________
2. _______________________________
3. _______________________________
4. _______________________________
5. _______________________________
6. _______________________________
7. _______________________________
8. _______________________________
9. _______________________________
10. _______________________________
Anger Feelings are the emotional reactions we can have when angry.
1. _______________________________
2. _______________________________
3. _______________________________
4. _______________________________
5. _______________________________
6. _______________________________
7. _______________________________
8. _______________________________
9. _______________________________
10. _______________________________
Anger Expressions are behaviors that express anger.

1. _______________________________
2. _______________________________
3. _______________________________
4. _______________________________
5. _______________________________
6. _______________________________
7. _______________________________
8. _______________________________
9. _______________________________
10. _______________________________
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Unit III, Lesson 4, Explore: Reappraising Conflict Situations
Essential Question: How can tools like reappraisal increase our capacity to engage in conflict in
productive ways?

• Learn the meaning of reappraisal.
• Recognize how to use reappraisal to de-escalate anger.
• Connect the value of using reappraisal to effectively respond effectively to others.
Supplies:
• Copies of Handout 1: Reappraisal
• Internet access
Preparation:
• Display for students the following definition of reappraisal:
“Reappraisal: to evaluate or assess someone, something, or a situation again in a different
way; the process of examining a situation or activity again in order to make changes to it, or
in order to change your perception of it."
Time: 50 minutes
Opening:
Review the definition of reappraisal. Explain that with reappraisal, a person examines a situation
and rethinks the possible meaning of it. If you have a different way of thinking about a situation
based on reappraising it, the different thoughts you have might generate different emotions.
Main Activity:
Ask: How many of you have seen a TV show or read a book in which there is a misunderstanding
between two characters? What usually creates this kind of misunderstanding? Generate a list
of responses.
Ask: When we watch characters in this kind of situation, what do we wish we could do or say to the
person who misunderstands or assumes?
Ask: How can making assumptions impair our ability to understand other people? Can you think of
examples of people making assumptions based on others’ identities or personal characteristics?
Say: The perceived reason behind a person's words or actions influences the way we understand
the situation. Today we are going to practice the technique of reappraisal so we will know how to
use it.
Ask students to share an example of a time they were initially angry until they found out the reason
the other person said or did the thing that made them angry. List the reasons on the board.
Say: When something a person says or does makes us angry, our anger is often based on what was
done over why it happened. One way to transform anger is to reappraise actions and situations to
see if there is additional context that helps explain why something happened.
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Divide the class into groups. Distribute Handout 1. Assign each group one of the three scenarios
on the handout. Tell each group to read their scenario and work as a team to find and list elements
that could provoke anger. Next, use reappraisal skills to first brainstorm reframing questions and
then brainstorm reasons which could explain the situation(s) from different perspectives of all
involved.
Ask for two volunteers from each group to share with the class their group’s reappraisals.
Closing:
Ask: What are the benefits of using reappraisal as a technique for addressing anger? How might it
help us in conflict situations?
1. Read the New York Times Learning Network article How Well Do Your Parents Deal With
Sibling Conflicts? Then reflect on the following questions shared as part of the article:
• How well do your parents deal with sibling conflicts? What kind of approach or
strategies do they use? Overall, how effective are the interventions? Write about a
recent or memorable experience when a parent intervened in a sibling fight, and
how you felt afterward.
• Ms. Turgeon provides examples of how parents typically approach sibling conflicts.
Which resonated with your own experiences? Which alternative parenting strategies
recommended by the author, such as “narrate like a sportscaster,” would you like to
see your parents try? Why?
• The author writes, “Kids are capable problem solvers, even the youngest ones.
Assume they have good ideas and you’re there for support.” How good are you and
your siblings at resolving conflicts on your own? Do your parents intervene too
much? Too little?
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Unit III, Lesson 4, Handout #1: Reappraisal
Directions: Below are three different situations that could provoke anger. Analyze each to find
the elements that could provoke anger. Next, use your reappraisal skills to brainstorm reframing
questions and reasons that could explain the situation from the different perspectives of
all involved.
1. You’re an editor in your school’s newspaper club. You’ve noticed that one of the writers,
Laney, keeps submitting her articles hours or days after you asked her to. This holds up
your timeline as an editor, giving you less time to edit the articles before they’re submitted
for final review. The first few times you let it slide, but recently it’s really started to annoy
you. You were complaining about it to one of the other editors, Ian. He agreed, but then
hesitated. “I think she’s going through a lot. I heard her mom lost her job. Laney had to get
a part time job to help her family out. Maybe that’s why she’s been late on submissions?”
2. When Cam enters the coffee shop to get a drink, she is surprised to see Julia waiting in line.
Cam and Julia have been friends for the past year, ever since they both made the varsity
volleyball team. They start talking and end up sitting down to have coffee together. Julia
thinks running into each other is funny, and she posts it on her Instagram. About 10 minutes
later, Cam gets a text from Ellie. Ellie has been a good friend of Cam’s since middle school,
and Cam, Julia, and Ellie have all been hanging out lately. Ellie’s text says, “You and Julia
are hanging out without me? Thanks for not inviting me. I guess now that you’re on the
varsity team and have cooler friends, you don’t need me anymore. Have a nice life.” Cam
looks up at Julia, bewildered.
3. Pacing back and forth in front of the movie theater, Sasha looked at her watch for the third
time in the last five minutes. As far as she was concerned, this just proved she couldn’t rely
on Moira for anything. She flopped back against the side of the building. The look on her
face said it all. She’d make sure Moira clearly understood that this insult was the very last
one she would tolerate ever! She had thought Moira was different from all the rest... Well, so
much for that. When Moira got out of the car, Sasha began yelling and screaming at her.
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Unit III, Lesson 5, Apply: Using Focused Breathing to Decrease Stress
Essential Question: How can we use breathing to transform stress reactions?

• Learn about different breathing techniques.
• Identify situations when using a focused breathing technique can help reduce stress.
• Recognize the benefits of practicing a variety of breathing techniques.
Supplies:
• Copies of Handout 1: Focused Breathing Techniques
Preparation:
• Consider inviting your school’s theater teacher to co-teach this lesson.
Time: 40 minutes
Opening:
Note to the teacher: If you taught Unit III, Lesson 3: Recognizing and Transforming
Anger (p. 71), you can link to that lesson in this introduction. Say: When we examined anger,
we learned when we react to someone or to a situation, our reaction is made up of what we
think, what we feel emotionally, and what we experience physically. Encountering stress is
similar, as reactions can be very diverse depending on what we know, what we think, and what
we are experiencing physically.
Ask: What are some things you’ve experienced that have caused you to feel stress?
Say: Sometimes stress presents roadblocks to motivation, with feelings of being “stuck.” Other
times stress can be motivating, like when aiming to meet a deadline or when engaging in an
academic or athletic competition.
Ask: What does it feel like when you are stressed? Do your muscles become tense? Do you sit
straight up in your chair, or do you slump? Are you fidgety or calm? Encourage students to think
beyond common examples like increased heart rate or sweaty palms. Record student answers.
Say: Let’s take a few moments to reflect silently on ways we have personally learned about, or used,
activities to reduce stress in our own lives. You are welcome to jot down notes or just think. Either
way, be prepared to share with a partner one or two ways you know about that are good for
managing stress.
Ask volunteers to share their experiences from their partner sharing session. Encourage students to
reflect on what they learned from their partners and any commonalities or differences they noticed
in the stress reduction techniques they shared.
Main Activity:
Ask: How many of you have heard someone say, “take a deep breath?” to cope with a stressful
moment? Why do you think people give that advice?
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Say: Today we are going to learn about breathing techniques, sometimes called focused breathing,
and learn how to use four different specific techniques as a way to lower stress. It is important to
remember as we explore each technique that individuals may find different breathing techniques
more or less helpful than others.
Read the handout together, pausing to model each style of breathing. Ask a student volunteer to
serve as an educational model by following your step-by-step instructions per the handout so the
class can observe each technique as it is explained and demonstrated. Explain that after reviewing
as a class, students will return to their partner groups to experience teaching and practicing the
specific steps of each technique. Explain that, for each breathing activity, one partner’s role will be
to ensure the other person understands and practices the described steps with comfort. After a few
minutes in each role, partners will switch roles.
Closing:
Ask: How did these breathing exercises make you feel? Which ones might work better in different
conflict situations? Why?
1. Write an advice column for your peers in which you explain why they should learn to use
focused breathing techniques to help decrease stress. Pick one of the techniques described
on the handout and teach the steps in your column.
2. These quotes are samples from the Six-Word Memoirs website. Consider them as inspiration
for writing your own short story or reflection on how you might personally use a focused
breathing technique to bring calm to a moment of stress. What will you write in six words?
• “Adjusting my breathing to the tides…” (ksan for Six Word Memoirs)
• “Breathing in dreams, exhaling the fears” (skateHS5 Six-Word Memoirs)
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Unit III, Lesson 5, Handout #1: Focused Breathing Techniques
Deep Belly Breathing: Deep belly breathing is a simple yet powerful technique. Here is how to
do it:
• Find a comfortable position. Either sitting or standing is fine.
• Place one hand on your belly and the other on your chest.
• Take a slow, deep breath in through your nose, feeling your belly rise as you fill your lungs.
• Exhale slowly through your mouth, feeling your belly lower as you release your breath.
• Repeat this deep belly breathing for several breaths, focusing on the sensation of your
breath and the movement of air in your body.
Mindful Breathing: Mindful breathing involves bringing your full attention, without judgement, to
your breath. Here is how to practice mindful breathing:
• Find a quiet and comfortable space to sit or stand.
• Close your eyes and begin to focus your attention on your breath.
• Observe the natural flow of your breath without trying to change it.
• Notice the sensation of the breath as it enters and leaves your body.
• If your mind starts to wander, gently bring your attention back to your breath.
• Engage in mindful breathing for a few minutes, allowing yourself to become fully present in
observing yourself inhale and exhale.
4-7-8 Breathing: The 4-7-8 breathing technique, popularized by Dr. Andrew Weil, is excellent for
shifting stress reactions towards the calm repetition of counting. Follow these steps:
• Sit comfortably and relax your body.
• Close your eyes and take a deep breath in through your nose as you count to four.
• Hold your breath for a count of seven.
• Exhale slowly through your mouth, making a whooshing sound, as you count to eight.
• Repeat this cycle for four breaths, focusing on the sensation of your breath and the rhythm
of the counts.
Box Breathing: Box breathing is a technique that combines both visualization and breathing using
a specific pattern of inhaling, holding the breath, exhaling, and holding the breath again while
visualizing the sides of a box.
• Find a comfortable, relaxing position and close your eyes.
• Visualize a box with four equal sides. It is important to use visual imagery as it will help you
get into the rhythm of the box breathing technique.
• Inhale through your nose slowly for four counts (each count lasts one second). As you do,
visualize your breath traveling up the left side of the box.
• Your lungs are full of air. Hold your breath for four counts. Visualize your breath moving across
the top of the box during the four counts.
• Exhale through your nose and visualize your breath moving down the right side of the box as
you exhale for four counts
• Hold your breath for four counts after the exhale. Watch your breath travel across the bottom
of the box as you hold your breath for four counts.
• Continue this pattern three to four times.
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Spotlight: Tanenbaum Peacemaker in Action Dishani Jayaweera
From 1983–2009 Sri Lanka experienced a drawn-out civil war, the aftermath of which has continued
to generate conflict between ethnic and religious groups in the country.
A former lawyer from Colombo, Sri Lanka’s capital, Dishani left the legal profession to follow a
deeper calling—to work closely with people throughout Sri Lanka to create a more peaceful and
just society.
Dishani, a Buddhist, founded the Centre for Peacebuilding and Reconciliation (CPBR) in 2003 with
her husband, Dr. Jayantha Seneviratne. CPBR operates on the belief that building peace begins
with individuals. CPBR supports young people and religious leaders, recognizing their influence on
social attitudes and behaviors in Sri Lanka and their ability to bridge religious and ethnic divisions.
CPBR encourages personal transformations that, in turn, empower communities to seek large-scale
change. CPBR engages participants in dialogue, trains participants in conflict analysis and
transformation, and supports clergy in promoting tolerance among their religious communities.
Through these interfaith efforts, CPBR builds understanding among Sinhalese Buddhists, Tamil
Hindus, Muslims, and Tamil and Sinhalese Christians.
The power of CPBR’s work lies in their process. They practice what they preach by decentralizing
decision-making and empowering community members to shape their projects. The CPBR team is
intentionally diverse, and the entire staff and, under Dishani’s guidance, the entire staff works to
develop deep relationships of trust with the participants in their projects, often traveling to
participate in funerals, religious ceremonies, and other events of importance to the communities.
This has created an authentic, large, and dedicated network of local peacebuilders and conflict
transformers. Participants of CPBR often list Dishani’s (and Jayantha’s) personal commitment to
the project and the respect they receive as motivation for their own work.
Dishani continues to develop innovative peacebuilding initiatives throughout Sri Lanka. Lately, she
dreamed up new ways to engage young Sri Lankans through initiatives such as a peer coalition
called Youth for Love and Life and a Voice of Images photography program. Dishani works
personally with young people, focusing on building relationships as well as practicing dialogue,
reflection, and skillsets for transforming conflict.
Dishani believes that anger is a normal part of life which should be identified, accepted, celebrated,
and vulnerably shared. When experiencing anger, Dishani recommends that individuals be
authentic, accept what they’re feeling, consider whether they want to channel anger into conflict
transformation, and then decide on an informed course of action.
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Map from “Maps of Sri Lanka,” World Atlas, https://www.worldatlas.com/maps/sri-lanka
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1. How do the skills we’ve learned in this unit, such as managing anger and reappraisal,
connect to Dishani’s story? How could these skills be used in other places across
the globe?
2. Dishani develops deep relationships with individuals in addition to communities. What value
does the development of individual relationships have in peacebuilding efforts?
3. How do you feel about Dishani’s perspective on anger? How do you think this approach
has impacted her work in conflict transformation?
4. Everyone holds personal beliefs that inform their identity and approaches to life,
and Dishani’s Buddhist faith informs her approach to peacebuilding. How might
personal beliefs - religious or nonreligious - inform the way you think about peace
and conflict transformation?
5. How do religious or cultural identities play a role in this conflict? How do religious or cultural
identities play a role in Dishani’s peacebuilding work?
1. Learn more about Dishani:

• Read a profile of the Center for Peacebuilding and Reconciliation on the Peace
Direct website.
• Watch a short video by the Coexist Foundation on Dishani’s peacebuilding work.
• Listen to a podcast focused on Dishani’s story and peacebuilding work.
• Explore CPBR’s website.
2. One reason Dishani’s work is so powerful is her focus on relationship-building as

foundational for peacebuilding. Ask students to find and analyze case examples (local,
national, or international) that exemplify the importance of relationship-building in conflict
transformation and peace negotiation.
3. Have students interview someone who was recently in a conflict (that they’re willing to talk
about), or both people in the conflict. Students should go through each concept introduced
in Unit III and ask how it played out during the conflict.
4. Dishani initiated a youth program centered around photography. Ask students to create and
share a photo series capturing what peacebuilding looks like in their local community.
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Unit IV: Transforming Conflict with Constructive
Communication
Image by Gradikaa Aggi, Unsplash, https://unsplash.com/photos/q3TryaToFYo
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In Unit IV: Transforming Conflict with Constructive Communication, students will learn
techniques for communication that show respect for others. Though the focus of this unit is on
using respectful communication to de-escalate conflict situations, the skills students learn will help
them strengthen relationships in any social setting.
Unit IV’s Anchor lesson introduces students to active listening. By engaging in this lesson,
students will learn to process, restate, and clarify another person’s perspective. They will also
practice communicating concern for another’s needs. Students will practice communicating their
own needs respectfully through “I” statements in the Create lesson. This unit’s Connect and
Explore lessons help students understand how communicating respectfully requires attention
both to one’s words and to body language and paraverbal cues. The Apply lesson allows students
to practice phrasing and word choice that de-escalates, rather than escalates, conflict situations.
This unit spotlights Tanenbaum’s Peacemaker in Action Bishop Ntambo Nkulu Ntanda. Students
will learn now Bishop Ntambo uses effective communication to mediate between conflicting parties
in the Democratic Republic of Congo. This spotlight challenges students to connect the skills and
lessons of Bishop Ntambo’s story to their own lives.

• Self-awareness
NCSS Themes:
• Individual development and identity • Global connections
• Individuals, groups, and institutions
Common Core English Language Arts-Literacy Standards:

• Speaking and listening
Lessons:
1. Anchor: Learning Where Other People Come From
2. Create: “I” Statements
3. Connect: How We Speak
4. Explore: Understanding Body Language and Personal Space
5. Apply: Word Choice and Conflict
Spotlight: Tanenbaum Peacemaker in Action Bishop Ntambo Nkulu Ntanda
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Unit IV, Lesson 1, Anchor: Learning Where Other People Come From
Essential Question: How does active listening help us understand diverse perspectives?

• Learn the importance of using active listening skills to uncover information about a
conflict.
• Identify another person’s feelings in a conflict using active listening skills.
• Connect the use of validating, encouraging, clarifying, restating, reflecting, and
summarizing skills to the practice of active listening.
Supplies:
• Copies of Handout 1: Instructions and Role-Plays
• Copies of Handout 2: Observer Form
• Internet access
Preparation:
• Make enough copies of Handout 1 for each group of three students to share one.
Time: 50 minutes
Opening:
Ask: How many people think they are good at observing and understanding other people? What do
you do to observe and understand how other people feel? Ask students either to brainstorm as a
class or to work independently to create a list of ideas and then report their thinking to a partner
or the class.
Introduce the term “active listening:” active listening was popularized in a 1957 book of the same
name by authors Carl R. Rogers and Richard Evans Farson. Active listening, according to Rogers
and Farson, is a communication technique that can be used in conflict situations that requires the
listener to re-say or paraphrase what they have heard to confirm what they have heard, as well as
to confirm the understanding of all involved.
Ask for a volunteer to do an active listening exercise with you that actors use to hone their
listening skills.
Stand facing the student volunteer. Tell the student that you are going to have a conversation with
them about your favorite movies. Say: The special part about this conversation is that after you say
something to me, I have to repeat, word for word, what you said before I can answer you. Then
when I answer you, you have to repeat, word for word, what I said before you can say something
to me.
Say: Let’s practice. You say to me, “Hello, how are you?” The student says the sentence. You
should then repeat: Hello, how are you? I’m fine. I want to know what your favorite movie is. Prompt
the student to say, “I’m fine. I want to know what your favorite movie is” before they can give an
answer. Increase the number of words in your sentences until it is hard for the student to remember
the sentence word for word.
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Main Activity:
Ask: When someone speaks to us, what are we usually doing when they are talking that makes it so
hard to repeat, word for word, what the person just said before you respond? (Responses could
include: we think we know what the person is going to say, so we really don’t listen; we start
thinking about what we’re going to say before the person finishes talking.) Be sure to emphasize
with students that, as listeners, most of us are often so focused on what we are going to say next
that we really aren’t listening to what is being said.
Put students in small groups of three students per group, then distribute Handout 1 to each
group. Explain that each student in a group will take on a specific role for three different role-play
scenarios. Each group member will have a turn being either the Active Listener, the Speaker, or
the Observer.
Distribute one copy of Handout 1 and three copies of Handout 2 to each group. Review the
steps of active listening described on Handout 2.
Review the responsibilities of each role, listed at the beginning of Handout 1. After any questions
have been answered, tell the Active Listeners in each group to start the role-play using the opening
sentences they have been given.
Stop the role-play after about five minutes. Tell the Observers they have a short amount of time to
give feedback to the Active Listener.
Ask the Active Listeners: What did you learn about active listening from this role-play?
Ask the Speakers: What specific active listening strategies had the most impact on you?
Ask the Observers: What insights did you get from observing the role-play?
Repeat the process described in the steps above until all three role-plays have been completed and
each student has had the opportunity to be an Active Listener, a Speaker, and an Observer.
Closing:
Ask: What is the most important thing you have learned so far about active listening? What impact
do you think active listening has on transforming a conflict that feels like it’s “high stakes” or
“high pressure?”
Share the December 2022 New York Times article, “Need to Defuse Family Squabbles? Learn From
an F.B.I. Crisis Negotiator.” Review it with students, then ask: What questions do you have? What
information in this article would you like to learn more about?
1. Read this article: “How Would You Rate Your Listening Skills and Those of the People
Around You?” from the New York Times Learning Network. Then, respond to these
questions with a conversation partner:
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• When was the last time you listened to someone - really listened, without thinking
about what you wanted to say next, getting distracted, or jumping in to offer
your opinion?
• When was the last time someone really listened to you - was attentive to what you
were saying, and whose response was so thoughtful that you felt truly understood?
2. What will you write with just six words? Look at these sample statements from Six-Word
Memoirs. Consider them as inspiration for writing your own original six-word reflection
about your experience being an active listener, or being listened to:
• “Active listening harder than most think.” (LotLessMonster for Six-Word Memoirs)
• “Communication is a power everyone has.” (MasonH for Six-Word Memoirs)
• “A fine line between conflicting points.” (spelly78 for Six-Word Memoirs)
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Unit IV, Lesson 1, Handout #1: Instructions and Role-Plays
Name: __________________ Date: ____________
Assign the roles of Speaker, Active Listener, and Observer.
• The Speaker begins by reading the situation.

• The Active Listener listens to the speaker and asks questions that are validating,
encouraging, and clarifying. The Speaker then tries to answer questions based on the
scenario. The Active Listener then restates the situation, reflects on what they have heard,
and summarizes their understanding.
• The Observer listens to see which active listening strategies the Active Listener is using. The
Observer will use Handout 2: Observer Form to record their observations and then share
their feedback. The Observer should give the Active Listener constructive feedback on what
to try next time.
Scenario 1:
You are very upset because your partner on a project has not completed the work they agreed to
do, and you get a joint grade. You really want to get an “A” on the project because you know this
semester’s grades will be the ones that colleges look at. You have offered to help your partner, but
they have said that they genuinely believe that they work best independently, and that they have a
different approach that they think will lead to the best result. Your partner thinks that you should
“just relax,” do your part, and not worry about their part. The project is due next week, and you are
very stressed out.
________________________________________________________________________________
Scenario 2:
Your parents have assigned chores to you and your siblings. As the oldest, one of your jobs is to
make sure your younger siblings are doing their jobs. One of your siblings is supposed to take out
the garbage and leave the bags tied up and the curb. Instead, you’ve had to run to the curb with
the bags when you heard the garbage truck. You don’t have the time to keep doing everything you
need to do plus do your younger siblings’ jobs. This situation is really irritating you, as it is making it
hard to be home on trash day.
________________________________________________________________________________
Scenario 3:
You and your sibling share a bedroom. You keep your side of the room neat and clean, but their
side of the room is a mess. You’re finding their junk on your dresser and their clothes thrown on
your bed. After months of living with this messy behavior, you have had enough: next time, anything
that’s on your side of the room is going in the garbage. You don’t know whether you should tell
your sibling of your decision, or just wait for them to figure it out.
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Unit IV, Lesson 1, Handout #2: Observer Form
Name: __________________ Date: ____________
Activity Purpose Behavior Observer Feedback

• Show appreciation
for willingness to
• To acknowledge the talk.
Validating worthiness of the other
person. • Acknowledge the
value of others’
feelings.
• Do not agree or
• To convey interest. disagree.
Encouraging • To encourage the • Use neutral words.

other person to keep
talking. • Use varying voice
intonations.
• To help you
• Ask non-judgmental
understand what has
questions.
been said.
• Share your
• To get more
Clarifying interpretation of
information.
what they are
saying so they can
• To help the speaker
confirm or correct
see another point of
it.
view.
• To show you are
listening to what is
being said. • Restate basic ideas
Restating
and facts.
• To check your
understanding.
• To show that you
understand how the
person feels. • Reflect the
Reflecting speaker’s basic
• To help the person feelings.
evaluate their own
feelings.
• To review progress.
• To pull together • Restate major ideas

Summarizing important ideas. that have been
expressed,
• To establish a basis including feelings.
for further
discussion.
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Unit IV, Lesson 2, Create: “I” Statements
Essential Question: How can shifting from “you” statements to “I” statements create more
effective communication?

• Learn what an “I” statement is and how it can be used in conflict transformation.
• Identify actions and emotions connected to using “I” statements.
• Create “I” Statements out of “you” statements.
Supplies:
• Chart paper
• Markers
• Tape
• Copies of Handout 1: Pat’s Statement and Handout 2: Parts of an “I” Statement
• Internet access
Preparation:
• Display each of the following headings for students:
• “’You’ Statements ”
• “Emotional Response to ‘You’ Statements”
• “’I’ Statements”
• Display "Where’s Pat Coming From?" and list the following questions:
• “What does Pat feel?”
• “What does she consider to be the problem?”
• “Why is it a problem to her? (Why does she feel the way she does?)”
• “What will solve the problem? (What does she want from you?)”
• Display the following prompts:
• “I feel __________”
• “When you _________”
• “Because _________”
• “And I want you to __________”
Time: 50 minutes
Opening:
Give each student a copy of Handout 1. Read Pat’s statement aloud to the class:
“You’re bailing on me AGAIN?” Pat yells. “I knew it. I knew you would do this. Tonight is my final
performance, and you’ve been saying for weeks that you would be there, and here you are
cancelling. You’re such a flake – I can never trust you to show up when you say you will. All you do
is go on and on, saying ‘of course I’ll be there, I want to come,’ but then, when the time comes,
you’re never there. Actions speak louder than words, and here you are choosing to ditch me again.
Well, just know from now on I’m not inviting you to anything else so you can’t disappoint me again.
I’ve had it with you.”
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Tell students they have five minutes to respond to the two questions in Handout 1.
Main Activity:
Tell students to look at Pat’s statement and share the words or phrases in the statement that would
make them react emotionally, if they were Pat’s friend and the word or phrase was being said to
them. Chart student responses on the board under “‘You’ Statements.”
Ask: How would these words make you feel? Why? List words and responses under “Emotional
Response to ‘You’ Statements.”
Ask: How do you think a typical teenager would respond to this kind of statement from Pat? Under
“Emotional Response to ‘You’ Statements” on the board, summarize these consequences
of “you” statements.
Say: Think about some “you” statements that have been said to you. Based on your experience,
what other characteristics do “you” statements have?
Say: Let’s look at Pat’s statement as though we are listening to her say it to someone else. Post the
chart paper “Where Pat’s Coming From.” Go through and discuss each question, asking students
to share their thoughts on where Pat is coming from.
Distribute a copy of Handout 2 to each student. Post the chart with the “I” statement format or
write the prompts on the board. Ask a volunteer to use their responses to the four questions about
Pat to fill in the “I” statement on the board.
Say: An “I” statement conveys the same information or message as a “you” statement, with some
very important differences in how the information is framed. Consider the list of characteristics of a
“you” statement. Based on the “I” statements we just created, what are the characteristic of an “I”
statement? Chart student responses on the board under “I” Statements.”
Say: We said that a typical teenager would probably come right back at Pat with their own “you”
statement. What would be a good “I” statement to use instead? Let the class brainstorm some “I”
statement responses to Pat’s original “you” statements.
Closing:
Ask: In a conflict, how does using “I” statements benefit both parties?
1. Using the “I” statements format, rewrite the following statements:
• You treat our group like we’re a joke. You blow off meetings or show up late, and then
the part of the assignment you’re responsible for writing is awful. I guess you just don’t
care about our grade.
• You’re a blabbermouth. Every time I tell you something, you can’t keep your big mouth
shut, so I end up hearing you’ve told other people what I just told you. Sure, I didn’t
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explicitly say, “it’s a secret” - but you can’t respect privacy, so it wouldn’t matter to you
even if I did!
• You’re totally unreliable. You never keep your promise to help with the chores, and I end
up doing everything.
• You’re always late, no matter how many times I ask you to be on time.
• You’re like a two-year-old - you always want your own way, no matter what other
people want.
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Unit IV, Lesson 2, Handout #1: Pat’s Statement
Name: __________________ Date: ____________
Pat is your friend. You call to tell her you aren’t able to go to her last performance of the spring
musical.
“You’re bailing on me AGAIN?” Pat yells. “I knew it. I knew you would do this. Tonight is my final
performance, and you’ve been saying for weeks that you would be there, and here you are
cancelling. You’re such a flake – I can never trust you to show up when you say you will. All you do
is go on and on, saying ‘of course I’ll be there, I want to come,’ but then, when the time comes,
you’re never there. Actions speak louder than words, and here you are choosing to ditch me again.
Well, just know from now on I’m not inviting you to anything else so you can’t disappoint me again.
I’ve had it with you.”
1. Using Pat’s statement above, underline or list all the words or phrases she used that would
make you react emotionally if she said these things to you.
_____________________ _____________________
_____________________ _____________________
_____________________ _____________________
_____________________ _____________________
_____________________ _____________________
_____________________ _____________________
_____________________ _____________________
_____________________ _____________________
2. How do these words or phrases make you feel? (Make a list.)
_____________________ _____________________
_____________________ _____________________
_____________________ _____________________
_____________________ _____________________
_____________________ _____________________
_____________________ _____________________
_____________________ _____________________
_____________________ _____________________
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Unit IV, Lesson 2, Handout #2: Parts of an “I” Statement
Name: __________________ Date: ____________
The “I” statement format is made up of four parts:
I feel ________ (Share how the other person’s behavior makes you feel.)
when you _____________________ (Identify the problematic behavior.)
because ___________________ (Briefly explain what it is about the behavior or its consequences
that you do not like.)
and I want you to (or I would appreciate it if you would) _________ (State the behavior you
are seeking from the other person.)
Using this format, we can transform the following statement…
“You treat our work group like we’re a joke. You either blow off meetings or show up at the last
minute, and then the part of the assignment you’re responsible for writing is awful.”
… into this statement:
“I feel disrespected when you miss or come late to meetings of our work group because you
don’t get the latest changes and how they affect your part of the assignment, and I would
appreciate it if you would show up when you’re supposed to and submit work that shows
you take the assignment seriously.”
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Unit IV, Lesson 3, Explore: Understanding Body Language and Physical Space
Essential Question: How can body language and physical space shape conflict?

• Learn how different kinds of body language can impact conflict.
• Recognize the difference between intimate, personal, and public space.
• Identify how space can either escalate or de-escalate a disagreement.
• Connect their emotional reactions to conflict with physical space and body language.
Supplies:
• Chart paper
• Markers
• Tape
• Copies of Handout 1: Body Language and Handout 2: Body Language Strategies
for Different Conflict Styles
Preparation:
Time: 50 minutes
Note to the teacher: Keep in mind when teaching this lesson how students’ identities may
impact their experience of body language and physical space. For instance, norms surrounding
appropriate gestures, facial expressions, and personal space can differ between cultures. Your
students may have different ideas about body language based on their background, and it is
important to be open to multiple perspectives. It is also important to take into account how
students’ physical ability status may inform their capacity to access activities in this lesson. Be
prepared to modify this lesson to include all of your students.
Opening:
Ask two student volunteers to come up to the front of the room. Quietly, so the class cannot hear
your directions, tell the two volunteers you want them to stand facing one another in a pose, using
their bodies to show that they are angry and do not want to talk to each other. Clarify that they can
only use their bodies to communicate how they feel and must get into position and hold it without
saying a word. Answer any questions the two students may have, then ask the students to pose in
front of the class.
Main Activity:
Ask: How do these two people feel about each other? Since they haven’t said a single word and
haven’t moved, how do you know this is how they feel? Record responses.
Ask: How many of us have had someone say that they're fine, but you can tell from their body
language that they're upset or mad? What nonverbal indicators communicate their emotion?
Record responses.
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Distribute Handout 1. Ask: Which of these non-verbal behaviors makes you react the most?
Record multiple responses. Why do they provoke a strong reaction? What does that tell us about
how some of the behaviors listed can escalate a conflict? Which of the behaviors listed are ones you
would use to de-escalate a conflict? Why? Record responses.
Ask two students to come to the front of the room and instruct them in the following activity. Ask
the first student to stand at the far side of the room, and the other to stand at the opposite wall. Ask
the second student to walk toward the first student. When the first student does not want the
second student to come any closer, the first student should raise their hand and say, “Stop.” Note
the distance between the two students at that point and ask the two students to hold their positions
while other students have a chance to try the exercise. Repeat this exercise with two or three pairs
of student volunteers.
Ask the stationary student in each pair: Why did you say “stop” when you did?
Ask the approaching student in each pair: How did you feel as you approached the other student?
Did you wish the stationary student had said “stop” sooner? Ask any student who answers “Yes” to
this question to step back until they are more comfortable. Make sure the class notices the
variations in comfort zone for each of the pairs.
Tell students the approximate space most people are comfortable with when they say “stop” is
somewhere between 18 inches and 36 inches, which is called personal space. Ask: Who do we
allow into our personal space?
Ask the approaching students to take a small step closer to the stationary students. Ask the class:
If you were the stationary student in each pair, how would you feel now? Ask the stationary
students if that is how they feel, and why.
Write on the board: “Space between one person and another produces an emotional effect.”
Tell the class that we call the area around a person from zero inches to 18 inches intimate
space. Say: Intimate space is reserved for those we feel emotionally close to. Who are some of the
people you might feel comfortable with in intimate space?
Social space is used for those we don’t know as well, and it’s usually about three to 12 feet from
oneself. Which people are you comfortable having in your social space?
How do you feel if you are talking to someone with whom you are comfortable in one space, and
that person moves into another space? Farther away? Closer to you? Give the class an example to
consider, such as being approached by a stranger in a parking lot with no one else around. Elicit
that movement between one zone or another affects an individual’s perception of comfort, security,
and the emotional content of the encounter.
Ask: What other factors may impact someone’s personal space preferences? (Responses could
include: gender, cultural heritage.) If appliable, bring up how the COVID-19 pandemic impacted
physical spaces and the needs for physical distance.
Ask: When people are in a conflict, how do you think their space needs change? Why do you think
that is?
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Distribute Handout 2. Give students an opportunity to brainstorm body language strategies that
each of the conflict styles could use for transforming conflict. Ask them to particularly focus on
strategies for their own conflict style. When students have finished, ask them to share their answers
with the class.
Closing:
Ask: Why is it important for us to examine the impact of space and body language on conflict? How
can this be applied in conflicts and in our everyday life?
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Unit IV, Lesson 3, Handout #1: Body Language
Gestures – Movements of the face, hands, or other parts of the body
• Clenching fists • Thumbs down

• Nodding • Shrugging shoulders
• Shaking head from side to side • Rubbing palms together
• Folding arms in front of the body • Bouncing a foot or leg
• Thumbs up
Posture – How you sit or stand
• Sitting up • Slouching
• Leaning forward • Standing
• Leaning back • Sitting with feet on a desk
Facial Expressions – Conveying emotion from your forehead to your chin
• Frowning • Opening or closing eyes

• Pressing lips closed • Scrunching nose
• Smiling • Raising or lowering eyebrows
Eye Contact – Using eyes to communicate
• Looking at someone’s face/eyes • Rolling eyes

• Avoiding eye contact • Lowering gaze of eyes
• Staring • Raising eyes upward or to the side
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Unit IV, Lesson 3, Handout #2: Body Language Strategies for Different Conflict
Styles
Name: __________________ Date: ____________
Using the different body language expressions in Handout 1, fill in the spaces under each conflict
style with types of body language that might come as an automatic reaction for a specific type of
conflict style. Then, fill in ones we might choose in order to de-escalate or resolve a conflict.
Competition
Automatic Reaction De-escalate or Resolve
Avoidance
Accommodation
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Compromise
Collaboration/Cooperation
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Unit IV, Lesson 4, Explore: How We Speak
Essential Question: How can paraverbal communication shape how we engage with conflict?

• Learn the components of paraverbal communication.
• Recognize how different components of paraverbal communication send us unspoken
messages.
• Identify the impact paraverbal communication can have on communication between two
people who disagree.
• Connect between paraverbal communication, body language, and space.
Supplies:
• Chart paper
• Markers
• Tape
• Copies of Handout 1: Paraverbal Communication and Handout 2: The
Sender’s Role
• Internet access
Preparation:
• Display the following under the title “How Our Feelings and Attitudes are Communicated:”
• 55% comes from body language (especially facial expression).
• 38% comes from paraverbal communication (pitch, tone, volume, pace).
• 7% of any message about our feelings and attitude comes from the words we use.
• Make two copies of the Handout 2, one for the teacher and one for the student who will be
the sender in the exercise.
Time: 45 minutes
Opening:
Share these Audio Exercises for Expressing Emotion from the Social Communication resources of
Truman State University.
Note to the teacher: of the two available exercises, the second one might be the most
appropriate for a classroom. Use whichever works best for your community.
Ask: What are you taking away from this exercise?
Main Activity:
Post the chart titled, “How our Feelings and Attitude are Communicated.” Tell students that these
figures come from studies conducted by the communications expert Albert Mehrabia. They help us
understand what people react to when we communicate with them. Ask students if they are
surprised by these figures. Ask students if they think these figures seem correct, or if they should
be revised.
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Share that today the class will be taking a look at paraverbal communication.
State the definition of paraverbal communication: “Paraverbal communication is the information

listeners get from how a person delivers their message. Types of paraverbal communication include
the pitch of someone's voice, their tone of voice, and their speaking pace.”
Distribute Handout 1 and review the content. Ask if anyone has any questions about volume, tone
of voice, or pace/rate of speed. Respond as needed.
Ask two students to volunteer for a mini role-play and assign them roles of sender and receiver.
Give the sender a copy of Handout 2. Tell the sender to carefully read each description of how
they will send their message. Neither the receiver nor the class should know what the sender’s
directions are.
Ask the receiver and sender to stand facing one another at a comfortable distance.
Tell the class that the exercise will be repeated three times. Ask students to write down the
differences they perceive in each of the three repetitions.
Say: These two students are friends who have agreed to meet for lunch. The receiver did not show
up as agreed. The sender will now tell their friend how they feel.
Tell the sender to give message A. Give the class time to record observations about the emotions
they experience when speakers communicate their messages at different levels of volume, tone,
pitch. Repeat with messages B and C.
After the sender has repeated the message three times, ask: What body language and
paraverbal communication did you see and hear in message A? Chart responses on the
board or on chart paper.
Ask the class: What body language and paraverbal communication did you see and hear in message
B? Ask the receiver: How did message B make you feel? Why? Repeat these two questions for
message C.
Point out that the sender’s behavior in message C was all paraverbal communication.
Ask the sender and receiver to resume their position facing one another. Ask the sender to move
closer to the receiver. Ask the sender to repeat message B at this closer distance.
Ask: What do you think would happen if this is how the sender tells the receiver they are angry with
them? Why?
Closing:
Ask: What have you learned about paraverbal communication that you think will make the most
difference in how you talk during a conflict? Why?
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1. Share with students a literary passage or historical speech where pitch, tone, or volume of a
character’s voice is clearly used to convey an emotion or opinion, or to capture a scene’s
mood. Ask students to explain and analyze what attributes of paraverbal communication
they see or hear. Students can use the scene as an inspiration to write their own narrative or
dialogue using attributes of paraverbal communication to express emotion. Encourage
students to experiment with the same text expressed with different elements of paraverbal
communication.
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Unit IV, Lesson 4, Handout #1: Paraverbal Communication
Pitch
Pitch is the degree of highness or lowness of a sound. It is the key at which your voice is delivered
and moves from low to high based on the degree of tension in the vocal folds of the larynx. When
you feel laid back and relaxed, the muscles in your larynx are relaxed, and your pitch is lower. A
high pitch occurs when the tension in the vocal folds increases.
Different emotions can elicit the same physiological changes in the body, so tension can indicate
both positive and negative emotions. Often, we associate a high pitch with distress or
fear. However, a high pitch can also indicate happiness. Think about how the pitch of a team’s
voices go up when they win, or the high pitch of voices when old friends greet one another after a
long absence.
On the other hand, we usually associate a low pitch with seriousness. We also tend to associate a
low pitch with authority.
When someone speaks, we notice and respond to the pitch of the speaker’s voice. We do this
almost without thinking, whether we are having a conversation or listening to a speech, because it
helps us “read” the speaker’s character, attitude, and feelings. A speaker who wants to keep
someone interested and listening closely varies the pitch they use.
Volume
The degree of loudness or softness of your voice matters. A person should speak loudly enough to
be heard depending on the situation in which they are speaking.
• If a person is talking to a group in a large space, they will need to raise their voice to be
heard.
• When a speaker’s volume is too loud, listeners are often irritated and either tune the
speaker out or leave.
• If a person is in conversation with someone in a quiet setting, their voice will be lowered.
• Someone who wants to share private information may speak very softly or whisper.
Our emotions have an impact on the volume we use. Anger often leads to raised voices. Two
people who are angry may be yelling at each other even though they are only a few feet apart.
Some people use a loud volume to intimidate the person being spoken to. However, happiness and
excitement over something good can also make us raise the volume of our voices.
Tone of Voice
Most of us have, at some point, said to ourselves, “I don’t like the tone they use when they talk to
me.” The words used may have been fine, but the tone of voice changed how we received and
responded to the message, because tone touches us emotionally.
There are different types of tone of voice, some of which are used in different settings and under
different circumstances to communicate effectively with others. Examples of tones of voice that
help us communicate effectively include:
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Formal Optimistic Serious
Informal Motivating Conversational
Humorous Respectful Assertive
There are different types of tone of voice we should try to avoid if we want to build positive
relationships and prevent, or de-escalate, conflict when disagreements arise. Below are some
examples:
Disrespectful Sarcastic Whining

Angry Demeaning Pessimistic
Aggressive/Confrontational Arrogant Malicious
Because tone of voice can trigger an emotional response, it is especially important to recognize that
one’s tone of voice is a powerful conflict escalator or de-escalator, depending on how it is used.
Pace/Speed
How quickly or slowly a person speaks makes a difference. You generally speak at a moderate
speed because you want to be understood. It is often more difficult to understand what someone is
saying when they talk quickly, so a good speaker uses pauses to show that what has just been said
is important and the listener gets time to think. This is especially important when sharing new or
complex information, such as when a student gives a presentation in their class. However, a very
slow pace can sometimes make a listener lose interest or become bored.
Speed affects both tone and emotional content. A slow pace could mean the speaker is feeling sad,
or that they are uncertain about what they want to say. A fast pace could indicate the speaker is
feeling nervous, scared, threatened, or angry, or that they are very excited about something. For
example, people will usually share bad news at a slow pace and good news at a fast pace.
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Unit IV, Lesson 4, Handout #2: Sender Information
Neither the receiver nor the class should know what the sender’s directions are.
A. Face the receiver at a comfortable distance, with your hands at your sides. Say, in a normal
tone of voice and at a normal level of loudness, “I am really angry with you.”
B. Stand in the same position and say, in a normal tone of voice and at a normal level of
loudness, “I am really angry with you.” As you speak, have an angry expression on your
face, stare right at the receiver, and shake your hand in the receiver’s face.
C. Stand in the same position, with your hands at your sides, and say, “I am really angry
with you.” Raise your voice, speak quickly, and change your tone of voice so that it
sounds angry.
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Unit IV, Lesson 5, Apply: Word Choice and Conflict
Essential Question: Why does word choice matter in conflict resolution, and how can we choose
words that are effective, constructive, and respectful?

• Explain how words are tools that can escalate or de-escalate conflict.
• Understand the value of using “I” statements and avoiding leading questions, using
language that focuses on actions rather than characteristics, and being aware of people’s
feelings and reactions.
• Practice choosing language that is constructive and respectful.
Supplies:
• Copies of Handout 1: Choosing Our Words Wisely
Preparation:
Time: 45 minutes
Opening:
Display the following quote: “Words are instruments, they are tools that, in their different ways, are
as effective as any sharp edge or violate chemical. They are, like coins, items of great value, but
they represent a currency that, well spent, returns ever greater riches.” --Tim Radford
Ask: What does it mean to say that words are instruments, tools, or currency? How do words act as
tools in conflict situations? Guide students in understanding that words are tools for communicating
our needs, desires, and feelings when there is a disagreement.
Say: Words are tools for communicating our needs, desires, or feelings, but that doesn’t mean that
they are always used in constructive ways. Ask: How can they be constructive or destructive? Guide
students in understanding that words can escalate or de-escalate conflict.
Ask: What is the difference between words that are constructive and destructive? Students may
point out that constructive words are respectful, non-accusatory, non-confrontational, non-
escalating, clear, and direct.
Main Activity:
Note to the teacher: If applicable, refer back to the discussion of “I” statements from Unit IV,
Lesson 2 (p. 92):
Ask students to remind the class what makes “I” statements more constructive and respectful
than “you” statements. Responses should include that “I “statements:
• Explain the feelings, needs, or wants of the speaker.
• Avoid accusing, threatening, blaming, judging, or criticizing.
• Focus on actions or problems, not the personality or character of the listener.
• Explain the speaker’s point of view instead of telling the listener how to think, how to
feel, or what to do.
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Say: In conflict situations, words matter. Today we are going to practice choosing words that are
constructive tools in conflict transformation.
Distribute Handout 1 and then divide the class into pairs. Ask each pair to complete the handout
together. When the handout is complete, ask the pairs to share their answers with the class. Ask:
Do you notice any similarities and differences in your rephrasing of the “you” statements and the
leading questions? Is it easy to avoid “you” statements? Is it easy to avoid leading questions?
Closing:
Ask students to write a paragraph or journal entry in response to the following question:
Think about a time in your life when someone used “you” statements, leading questions, or other
unconstructive language when speaking to you. How did it make you feel? What do you think they
should have said instead? Would there have been a different outcome if they had used respectful,
constructive words?
1. Even when we are careful to choose our words wisely, we will occasionally say the wrong
thing. Write a three-paragraph essay about a time when you inadvertently hurt or offended
someone with your words. How did the other person respond, and how did you know that
they were hurt or offended? Were you able to use different words to make the person feel
better and de-escalate the conflict? What did you learn from the experience, and what
would you do differently in the future?
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Unit IV, Lesson 5, Handout #1: Choosing Our Words Wisely
Name: __________________ Date: ____________
1. Use “I” Statements. “I” statements are more constructive and respectful than “you”
statements because they:
• Explain the feelings, needs, or wants of the speaker.
• Avoid accusing, threatening, blaming, judging, or criticizing.
• Focus on actions or problems, not the personality or character of the listener.
• Explain the speaker’s point of view instead of telling the listener how to think, how
to feel, or what to do.
Turn the following “you” statements into “I” statements. Be sure your “I” statements
are clear, direct, non-accusatory, and respectful.
a. You didn’t text me like you said you would!
_________________________________________________________________________
b. You never tell me anything about what’s going on at school!
_________________________________________________________________________
c. You’re such a slob. You always leave your stuff everywhere!
_________________________________________________________________________
d. Why did you use that nickname in front of my friends when I told you not to? You never
listen to me!
_________________________________________________________________________
e. You’re always watching football. You care about that game more than you care about me!
_________________________________________________________________________
f. You do nothing to help out around this house. I guess you expect me to clean up after you!
_________________________________________________________________________
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2. Ask Constructive Questions and Avoid Leading Questions. Constructive questions
invite listeners to open up and share their thoughts and feelings, while leading questions
suggest a particular answer, tend to put them on the defensive, and shut down dialogue.
Write an L next to the leading questions below. Under the questions you marked with
an L, write a constructive question or statement in its place. Be sure your re-phrased
question is clear, direct, non-accusatory, and respectful.
___________ a. Have you considered getting a job to pay for your prom tickets?
___________ b. Is there a reason why you never leave early enough for school?
___________c. What are your plans after graduation?
___________d. Couldn’t you just study harder before the next test?
___________e. Don’t you want us to get a good grade on the group project?
___________f. What do you think of the math project we’re working on?
___________g. You realize that it’s really hard to make the varsity team, right?
___________h. How are you training for the 5K?
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Spotlight: Tanenbaum Peacemaker in Action Bishop Ntambo Nkulu Ntanda
In 1996, Bishop Ntambo Nkulu Ntanda became a bishop of the United Methodist Church in the
Katanga province of the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC). He served in the role through the
First and Second Congo Wars, armed conflicts that killed more than 5.4 million people.
As Bishop, he organized care for unhoused children, which reduced recruitment of child soldiers,
and built churches and fishponds. Bishop Ntambo also provided refuge for internally displaced
people (people that are forced to move to another place within the same country), and he identified
clergy and lay leaders to organize relief and support for those in areas of heavy violence.
He obtained food and medical supplies from the United Methodist Committee on Relief and
distributed them to affected communities through his relationships with local Roman Catholic,
Pentecostal, and Muslim leaders. In 1998, he created Kamisamba Farm, an agricultural training
center that develops ways to sustainably feed the displaced.
Religious, governmental, traditional/tribal, and military leaders have all identified Bishop Ntambo as
a spiritual guide, and such relationships with diverse individuals make him an effective mediator. In
2004, the government asked Bishop Ntambo to hold a peace conference with the Mai-Mai (or Mayi-
Mayi) militia in Katanga, a group labeled “evil” by the national army. Bishop Ntambo and his pastors
reduced the “otherness” of the Mai-Mai militia group. At a time when even the governor would not
meet Chinja Chinja, the Mai-Mai leader, Bishop Ntambo invited Chinja Chinja to dinner in his home.
Bishop Ntambo made it clear that the Mai-Mai were “children of the community,” and that they
were, first and foremost, human beings.
Bishop Ntambo called on the government to listen to the grievances of the Mai Mai militia group
and to restore order within the national army, which the Mai-Mai accused of abusing the local
people. The government listened to Bishop Ntambo and held a peace conference. The peace
conference was successful: the Mai Mai militia disbanded, and some members integrated into the
national army. In addition to negotiating, Bishop Ntambo organized a network of individuals with
varying faith backgrounds to promote long-term healing and reconciliation in communities affected
by the conflict.
In 2005, the United Methodist church in Nigeria called upon Bishop Ntambo during a crisis. He
agreed to help. During two years as interim bishop, Ntambo led Nigerian church members to elect
their own permanent bishop. In 2007, Bishop Ntambo was asked to be a senator in the Congolese
Parliament. As a senator, Bishop Ntambo worked to advance new development projects. Now a
retired bishop, he still connects the experiences and concerns of his people to national decision-
making, always seeking better lives for his people.
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Map from “Maps of Democratic Republic of the Congo,” World Atlas,
https://www.worldatlas.com/maps/democratic-republic-of-the-congo
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1. How do the skills we’ve learned about in this unit, such as active listening, using “I”
statements, and choosing words carefully, connect to Bishop Ntambo’s story? How could
these skills be used in other places across the globe?
2. As a mediator between the government and the Mai Mai, Bishop Ntambo had to be careful
about the words he chose and the way he spoke. What kind of language or messaging do
you think he used to bring about peaceful negotiation? What kinds of language or
messaging do you think he avoided?
3. At first, most people in Bishop Ntambo’s community thought of the Mai-Mai as “the other,”
which contributed to the growing conflict. When have you found yourself “othering” certain
people or groups? How can we grapple with another person or group regarding us as “the
other”? How can we break down a sense of “otherness” to explore commonality and
create peace?
identities play a role in Bishop Ntambo’s peacebuilding work?
1. Learn more about Bishop Ntambo:

• Read an article on Bishop Ntambo’s visit to America and reflections on conflict in
the DRC.
• Watch a video of Bishop Ntambo and his wife speaking about peace.
• Listen to, or read, an article about the First and Second Congo Wars.
• Explore a book written about Bishop Ntambo and his peacebuilding efforts.
2. Beyond his conflict mediation skills, Bishop Ntambo sowed peace by bringing basic
necessities to people destitute from the war. Plan a volunteer day for your class at a
local food shelter (or another charitable organization) and connect it back to Bishop
Ntambo’s work.
3. Bishop Ntambo is a religious leader and a political leader. Bring a religious or political
leader to guest speak for the class, or ask students to reach out individually to a religious
or political figure and interview them. Be sure that the individual is asked how they handle
conflict in their role.
4. The Mai Mai was a militia group that was concerned about the behaviors of the national
army. Divide the class into small groups and ask students to research and share examples
of the role of militias and paramilitary groups in other armed conflicts around the world,
such as in Columbia and Uganda.
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Unit V: Transforming Conflicts Together
116
Unit V: Transforming Conflicts Together teaches students collaborative negotiation skills.
These skills help them to respond to and transform conflicts into opportunities for demonstrating
respect. In this unit, students will be able to expand the skills they have built in previous Anchor
lessons and apply them to real-world conflicts. A teacher can also deliver this unit as a standalone
module on collaborative negotiation.
In the Anchor lesson, students practice reframing conflicts as mutual problems to be solved
instead of struggles to be won or lost. Students deepen these skills in the Create lesson by
distinguishing between the positions that parties in a conflict take and the needs underlying those
positions. In the Connect lesson, students will learn specific strategies for keeping all parties in a
dispute open and informed. This unit’s Explore lesson examines barriers to effective
communication and how to lower them. The Apply lesson allows students to practice their
collaborative negotiation skills in real-world conflict situations.
The unit concludes with a spotlight on Peacemaker in Action Friar Ivo Markovic. Friar Ivo lowered
barriers to communication to transform conflict and collaboratively negotiate between opposing
groups after the breakup of Yugoslavia. This spotlight challenges students to connect the skills and
lessons of Friar Ivo’s story to their own lives.
Competencies, Themes, and Standards
CASEL Core Competencies

• Responsible decision making • Social awareness
• Self-awareness
NCSS Themes
• Individuals, groups, and institutions • Global connections
Common Core English Language Arts-Literacy Standards

• Speaking and listening
Lessons:
1. Anchor: Reframing and Collaborating in Conflict
2. Create: Understanding Positions and Needs
3. Connect: Opening, Informing, and Uniting Behaviors
4. Explore: Lowering Barriers to Communication
5. Apply: Collaborative Negotiation
Spotlight: Tanenbaum Peacemaker in Action Friar Ivo Markovic
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Unit V, Lesson 1, Anchor: Reframing and Collaborating in Conflict
Essential Question: How can using communication tools transform conflict?

• Learn the steps in reframing a conflict situation.
• Recognize how reframing can help unite individuals and groups.
Supplies:
• Copies of Handout 1: Reframing a Conflict
• Copies of Handout 2: Ezra and Fran’s Conflict
Preparation:
• Display this poem:
“Jack Sprat
Jack Sprat could eat no fat,
His wife could eat no lean.
And so between them both, you see,
They licked the patter clean.
Jack ate all the lean,
Joan ate all the fat.
The bone they picked it clean,
Then gave it to the cat.”
Time: 45 minutes
Opening:
Ask for a volunteer to stand at the front of the class. Stand on the opposite side of a desk or table
and face the student. Say: This physical distance between us represents what it might feel like
emotionally if ____ (student’s name) and I had a conflict with one another. It looks like we are
physically quite far apart, just as our opinions of the situation are far apart. Reframing is a tool we
can use to decrease this perceptual or emotional difference.
Distribute Handout 1. Ask the class to read and complete the activity described on the handout.
Main Activity:
Ask a student to read the displayed poem “Jack Sprat.”
Ask: What problem do the Sprats have? How do the Sprats solve their problem?
Say: This poem shows an example of reframing a conflict. Explain that the poem is an example of
two people turning difference and disagreement into an opportunity for mutual problem-solving – in
other words, reframing a conflict. Both Jack and Joan got what they wanted by embracing their
understanding of each other’s dietary needs and making the meal work for both of them. They
asked the reframing question: “How can we both enjoy our dinner while making sure that Jack
eats no fat meat and that Joan eats no lean meet?”
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Say: Imagine that you, like one of the Sprats, have a specific food you will not eat. In your case, it is
meat. Family dinners at your grandmother’s house always include meat. She has been telling your
parents that you are overly picky and not grateful for her cooking. She says she is worried that you
are not getting the nutrition you need. For one meal, she prepares meat three different ways and
urges you to try them all and decide which one you like best. Then, she will make that one for you
every week. But she is ignoring that you don’t eat meat. Is she confused that being a vegetarian is
normal? You can sense that your grandmother is upset that you are not eating your food, and you
are hungry after every meal she serves you.
Ask the following questions and record student answers:

• What is your perspective?
• What is your grandmother’s perspective?
• Are there any concerns that you two share?
Say: Let’s work together to reframe this situation into a question that addresses the concerns of
both you and your grandmother.
Display the following format for a reframing question:

“How can we _________________________ while making sure that you _________________________
and I _________________________?”
Instruct students to write reframing questions that include the perspective of both the grandmother
and her grandchild (Examples might include: “How can I explain being a vegetarian while making
sure that my grandmother and I are not upset at each other?” or “How can we have family dinner
while making sure that there is no meat in my food and that I show gratitude for my grandmother’s
cooking?”).
Give students three minutes to write reframing questions. Have students share their answers.
Distribute Handout 2. Tell students to partner with the student next to them. Partners should
decide which one of them will be a character named Ezra and which one will be a character named
Fran. Say: You and your partner are going to use the dialogue on the handout to continue practicing
reframing.
Have students read the dialogue, inform each other of Ezra and Fran’s perspectives, and then
come up with a reframing question. Give students five minutes to complete the exercise.
Record multiple examples of reframing questions from different groups. Ask: How well do you think
these reframing questions addressed both Fran’s and Ezra’s concerns? Why?
Ask: Was the issue between Ezra and Fran more difficult to reframe compared to the one we did
together? Why?
Closing:
Ask two students who are comfortable with improvisation to come to the front of the class and
share what they think happened to resolve the conflict between Ezra and Fran. One student should
play Ezra and the other Fran. Ask them to improvise a conversation using reframing that shows the
class how Ezra and Fran’s problem can be solved.
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Without the rest of the class hearing, tell the volunteers that they should begin their improvised role-
play at least five feet away from each other. They should step closer to each other as they reach a
solution during their conversation.
Once the role-play is concluded, ask the class: Did you notice how [the students’ names] moved
closer to each other as they began to recognize each other’s’ perspectives? Reframing, by
showing us that there is common ground we can work on together, can help bring people in
a conflict together.
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Unit V, Lesson 1, Handout #1: Reframing a Conflict
Name: __________________ Date: ____________
• An issue can be reframed after all involved have informed one another of their concerns.
• To reframe a conflict, we look at the concerns of all involved and then pose a reframing
question that addresses as many as possible.
• This reframing question should lead to both disputants working together to brainstorm
possible solutions.
When a person is in a conflict, they tend to see themself on one side of the issue and the other
person or group on the other side. Use this space to describe in words or an image what conflict
might look like:
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
When an issue is reframed, the positions of the disputants can change. Now, instead of being
divided by the issue(s), the people in conflict are working collaboratively in a way that addresses
diverse needs. Use this space to describe in words or an image what reframing a conflict might
look like:
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
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Unit V, Lesson 1, Handout #2: Ezra and Fran’s Conflict
Name: __________________ Date: ____________
Ezra and Fran are friends who have an odd-job business together: “Your Chore is Our Job!” Their
neighbor hired them to re-organize his attic. One afternoon, Fran is hard at work when she learns
Ezra has a family emergency and can’t work for the rest of the week. She feels that Ezra should
give up a portion of his money to her because she did both their work. Ezra doesn’t agree. He
feels that without his contribution to the project, Fran wouldn’t have been able to complete the
work they started together, and he thinks he shouldn’t be penalized for family circumstances
beyond his control:
Fran: Ezra, we need to talk. I've been thinking about the situation from last week when you couldn't
work. I think you should compensate me for doing your share of the work.
Ezra: Fran, I understand that you had to pick up the slack, but it was an unforeseen circumstance. I
don't think I should be held responsible for something beyond my control.
Fran: But it's not fair that I had to do all the work that was originally assigned to you. I put in extra
hours and had to handle everything on my own. You should take some responsibility for that.
Ezra: Look, I get it. You worked hard, and I appreciate that. But let's look at the bigger picture.
Throughout this entire venture, we've been a team. We've contributed equally up until this point.
Shouldn't that count for something?
Fran: Yes, we've been a team, but when you couldn't fulfill your part, I had to bear the burden
alone. It's only fair that you compensate me for that additional effort.
Ezra: Fran, I value our friendship and our business partnership. But I genuinely believe I shouldn't
be penalized for circumstances beyond my control. It's not about undermining your hard work, but
rather considering the overall fairness.
Fran: I understand your point, Ezra. But I can't help feeling that it's unjust. I took on extra
responsibilities and worked tirelessly. I expected you to do the same.
Ezra: Fran, I never intended to let you down. The family emergency was unexpected, and I
apologize for the inconvenience it caused. But I believe we should focus on moving forward
together rather than dwelling on the past.
Fran: It's not about dwelling on the past, Ezra. It's about acknowledging the effort I put in and
finding a fair solution. We need to address this disagreement and come to a resolution.
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Unit V, Lesson 2, Create: Understanding Positions and Needs
Essential Question: How can understanding the difference between positions and needs help us
de-escalate conflict situations?

• Learn the difference between needs and positions in a conflict.
• Recognize the importance of identifying needs in a conflict.
• Connect the process of shifting communication from positions to needs to de-escalating
a conflict.
Supplies:
• Copies of Handout 1: Positions and Needs
Preparation:
• Display for students Slide 1: Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.
• Display for students:
• “Conflict: A struggle between two or more people who perceive they have
incompatible goals or desires.”
• “Positions: The things we prefer or want to satisfy our needs in a conflict situation.”
• “Needs: The underlying reasons behind our positions. Why we want the things we
want.”
Time: 50 minutes
Opening:
Distribute a copy of Handout 1 and ask a volunteer to read it to the class.
Ask: How many of you have been in a similar situation?
Say: Think of a conflict you’ve read about or experienced recently. What elements of that conflict
are similar to the conflict between Marlena and her mom? What elements are different?
Main Activity:
Display the definition of conflict and read it aloud. Ask: Can we agree that Marlena and her mom are
having a conflict?
Display the definition of positions and read it aloud.
Divide the class into two groups. Ask students in one group to write down what they think
Marlena’s mom’s position is in the conflict. Ask the other group to write down what they think
Marlena’s position is.
Ask for a “Mom” volunteer. Ask that student: What parts in the story indicated her position? Then,
ask if anyone on the “Mom” side has different or additional positions for Mom. Ask students to
explain their thinking.
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Ask for a “Marlena” volunteer. Ask that student: What parts in the story indicated her position? Ask
if anyone on the “Marlena” side has different or additional positions for Marlena. Ask students to
explain their thinking.
Ask the “Moms” how they feel about the “Marlenas” right now. Ask the “Marlenas” how they feel
about the “Moms.” List on the board the feeling words the students use to describe the other side
of this conflict.
Display Slide 1. Explain that psychologist Abraham Maslow proposed that human beings are
motivated by a variety of needs. He organized these needs in a hierarchy of importance, in which
more basic needs must be met before higher needs can be addressed.
Explain that the slide illustrates Maslow’s idea by organizing the levels of needs he proposed into a
pyramid. More basic needs are listed near the bottom of the pyramid, and the more complex or
high-level needs are listed near the top. This order of needs is not rigid: it may be flexible based on
external circumstances or individual differences. Furthermore, most behavior is multi-motivated,
meaning that it is simultaneously determined by more than one basic need.
Say: We can use this model to explore the basic human needs that may underlie positions in
a conflict.
Ask students to share examples for each type of need.
Remind the class that needs are the underlying reasons why we want the things we want. Tell
students to look at Maslow’s Hierarchy and identify either the needs Marlena and her Mom have.
Ask for a “Mom” volunteer to identify one of Mom’s needs. Ask the volunteer: What made you think
she has this need? Ask the “Mom” side if anyone identified another need Mom has. Continue until
all of Mom’s needs are listed and students have shared their reasoning behind the need.
Ask for a “Marlena” volunteer to say one of Marlena’s needs. Repeat the process above for
Marlena’s needs.
Tell the class to think about the needs they have just shared for Mom and Marlena. Ask: What
needs do both of them have in common? List the shared needs.
Say: Remember how each side felt when we were looking at Mom’s and Marlena’s positions. Why
do you think recognizing each other’s needs changes how we experience a conflict situation?
Note to the teacher: You can refer to the discussion of identity Unit I, Lesson 5 (p. 29) to
supplement these questions. Ask: How do Mom & Marlena's identities as a mother, a daughter,
a friend help shape their needs?
Closing:
Ask: How does understand positions and needs help us de-escalate a conflict? Why is that important?
What do you think it enables us to do?
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1. A small group of students should pick one scenario listed below, or make up their own.
Have the group write a three-minute skit based on their scenario where they express the
positions and needs of each party and work out a solution to the conflict.
Each person in the group should have a role in presenting the script, but not all roles
must be speaking parts. Make sure the group assigns roles based on the comfort and
interest of everyone in the group. After the group performs its skit, ask the class the
following questions:
• What communication skills did the group use to help make the conflict about needs
and not just positions?
• What else could the parties involved have tried to reach a different outcome?
• Have you ever been in a similar situation? What did you do?
Then, ask the group that just performed:
• Was there anything hard about using these skills?

• Was there any part of using these skills that felt natural or easy?
• Do you think you understand the idea of positions and needs in a new or better way
than before you did this activity?
Scenarios:
Your friend forgot a book for class and asked to borrow yours. You are fine with sharing it,
but you explain they need to return it ASAP so that you don't get marked down in your
section, which is the very next period. You wait during the passing time between classes,
but your friend is a no-show. You end up getting in trouble for being late and not having
your book.
You come home from school and find your charger missing from your desk. You know your
brother took it because he’s done it before! Later that evening at dinner with your family you
want your brother and your parents to know there is a huge problem.
You want to go to the movies but do not have a ride home. You ask your sister to pick you
and a friend up, and she says she will. When the movie is over, your sister is not there. She
does not return texts, and she finally shows up 30 minutes late when your friend's dad has
just agreed to pick you up. Both your sister and your “emergency ride” show up at the exact
same time.
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Unit V, Lesson 2, Handout #1: Positions and Needs
Name: __________________ Date: ____________
Marlena comes home from school right away on Friday afternoon and immediately starts her
homework. She and her friends have made plans to meet tomorrow afternoon to go to a movie they
all want to see. They also want to go for hamburgers after the movies so they can catch up on life.
Marlena had already finished her homework and set the table when her mother got home from
work. Friday nights, her mother always brings home a pizza and salad. By the time her mother is
ready to eat, Marlena has the salad on the table and the pizza warmed in the oven.
Marlena’s mom thanks her for having dinner ready. As they eat, they share stories about their week
and talk about how they are going to see Marlena’s grandmother for Sunday dinner. Marlena tells
her mom she is going to the movies and out to dinner the next day.
Marlena’s mom put her glass down with a thud. “You’re not going out anywhere tomorrow. I want
you to pick up after yourself. I can’t take it anymore. You’ve got clutter everywhere! You’re going to
spend tomorrow cleaning.”
Marlena jumped up from the table. “I’m not a little kid anymore. I’m a junior in high school. I made
plans. I’m going to the movies with my friends!”
Mom’s Position Marlena’s Position
Mom’s Needs Marlena’s Needs
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Unit V, Lesson 2, Slide #1: Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs
Image from Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs2.svg
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Unit V, Lesson 3, Connect: Uniting, Opening, and Informing Behaviors
Essential Question: What are ways to unite different sides and keep a conversation open and
Informed?

• Learn about informing, opening, and uniting behaviors.
• Explain how opening and informing behaviors help identify the positions and needs held
by disputants in a conflict.
• Describe the ways in which uniting behaviors are used in talking out a conflict.
Supplies:
• Copies of Handout 1: Priscilla’s Problem
• Copies of Handout 2: Uniting, Opening, and Informing Behaviors
Preparation:
• Display the phrase “Parents’ Position.”
• Display the phrase “Priscilla’s Position.”
Time: 50 minutes
Opening:
Distribute Handout 1. Divide students into small groups and ask groups to read the scene.
Main Activity:
Say: Uniting behaviors help build bridges between different parties in a conflict. Using uniting
behaviors can uncover areas of agreement that highlight ways to reach a resolution.
Say: Opening behaviors are active listening skills we use to help others share how they feel.
The purpose of opening behaviors is to make sure all parties understand what they care about
in a conflict.
Say: Informing behavior represents the opportunity to tell others what you want, why you want what
you want, how you feel, and what your needs are. Using informing behaviors often require you to
think about your positions and needs and how you feel before you sit down to talk so that you are
prepared to clearly articulate where you are coming from and why.
Ask: What impact do you think these kinds of communication could have on everyone involved
when trying to work out the conflict?
Say: Suppose someone says, “I really felt disrespected when __________ happened.” You could
respond by saying, “Feeling respect is important to me too. Can you tell me more about why you felt
disrespected?” You are uniting when you share that respect is important to you and using opening
behaviors when you ask the other person to explain what made them feel disrespected.
Explain that a conversation between two people in conflict often takes more than one cycle of
uniting, opening, and informing to clarify the positions and needs of all involved. For example,
person A may go first, and person B may learn about A’s positions and needs and why A wants
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what they want. B might say, “So it sounds like you want ________ because ________ Is that
correct?” If it is correct, then B might start to inform by saying, “I want to be clear about what I
want too. I want ______ because _______.” A then has a chance to use uniting, informing, and
opening behaviors to respond to B. The cycle continues until all parties understand each other’s
positions and needs.
Ask students to turn back to Handout 1.
Ask: If you were Priscilla’s parent, what one sentence might you yell at her when she arrives
home late? What could her parents have said instead? Record responses on the board under
“Parents’ Position.”
Ask: If you were Priscilla, what one sentence might you yell back at your parents? Record
responses on the board under “Priscilla’s Position.”
Distribute Handout 2. Review each behavior with the class.
Say: Today we are going to practice opening and informing behaviors.
Divide the class into groups of three students each. Two students should take on the roles of
Priscilla’s parents, and the third student should take on the role of Priscilla. Tell students to role-
play the conflict using uniting, opening, and informing behaviors to identify the underlying needs of
Priscilla and of her parents.
Ask a volunteer from two or three different groups to report back to class on their role-play.
Ask: “What kinds of opening behaviors did Priscilla use? What opening behaviors did the
parents use?”
Ask: “How did opening behaviors help the parents figure out Priscilla’s underlying needs? What are
her needs? Record responses. Ask: How did opening behaviors help Priscilla find out her parents’
needs? What are her parents’ needs? Record responses.
Ask the students who played a parent role: How did informing behaviors help you in the
conversation with Priscilla?
Ask the students who played the role of Priscilla: How did informing behaviors help you talk to
your parents?
Ask: How do you think it would make Priscilla feel to know that her parents understood her needs?
Why? How do you think it would make other parents in this situation feel if their child understood
their needs? Why?
Ask: How did any of the “Priscillas” or “the parents” use uniting behaviors while you were doing the
role-play? Please be as specific as you can. What impact did it have on your conversation?
Ask: What do you think would happen in real life with this kind of conflict if Priscilla and her parents
stayed totally focused on their positions? Why?
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Closing:
Ask: Why do you think uniting, informing, and opening behaviors are such powerful conflict
resolution tools?
Use Handouts 1 and 2 as resources to help you write one of the following dialogues:
1. Imagine you are Priscilla, and your parents give you the chance to inform them instead of
yelling at you when you get to the door. Write a dialogue in which you use informing to tell
your parents of your experience and reveal your underlying needs.
2. Imagine you are one of Priscilla’s parents. Instead of meeting her at the door as you did in the
story, you are waiting for her in the living room when she comes in. Write a dialogue in which
you create an atmosphere through uniting and opening behavior that will make her want to sit
down with you to talk. Use opening behavior to find out why she is late and what her underlying
needs are.
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Unit V, Lesson 3, Handout #1: Priscilla’s Problem
Instructions: Chose group members to read the parts of Priscilla, her parents, and Leah.
After reading, discuss the questions at the end of the scene.
Priscilla: Mom, Dad, I'm so sorry I'm late. It wasn't my fault this time, I promise.
Mrs. Johnson: Priscilla, we've had enough of your excuses. You've broken our trust again
and again.
Priscilla: I spoke with Tyrone, Leah's older brother, and he agreed to drive me home after rehearsal.
I thought I had everything sorted out.
Mr. Johnson: Tyrone? Are you seriously expecting us to believe that he would get you home
on time?
Priscilla: Yes, Dad. Tyrone is responsible, and he said he’d be waiting for me outside when
rehearsal ended.
Leah: Yeah, Tyrone’s really reliable.
Mrs. Johnson: Well, you are late. You know the consequences.
Priscilla: I don’t know, Mom. He was supposed to pick us up on time. And to make matters worse,
I left my bag with my phone in my locker.
Leah: My phone died during rehearsal. We were completely cut off.
Mr. Johnson: So, let me get this straight. You made arrangements with someone we barely know,
left your phone behind, and ended up stranded without any way to contact us?
Priscilla: I understand how it looks, Dad, but Tyrone has always been reliable. We didn’t anticipate
these unexpected issues.
Mrs. Johnson: Priscilla, we warned you about being late again. We set a rule, and you knowingly
broke it. How can we trust you?
Priscilla: I know I messed up, Mom. But please understand that this time it truly wasn’t my fault.
The car broke down, and I had no way to reach you.
Leah: The tow truck driver helped us as far as he could go, and then we had to take the bus. It was
chaotic, and she couldn’t control any of it.
Mr. Johnson: Priscilla, you’re late once again.
Mrs. Johnson: We’ll address this rule-breaking situation later. Go to your room.
Priscilla: I’m really sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen.
Leah: Priscilla, I hope everything gets better soon. Maybe they’ll understand. I have to get home
now too.
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Unit V, Lesson 3, Handout #2: Uniting, Opening, and Informing Behaviors
Behavior What We Say

UNITING Check to make sure others are comfortable.
We use uniting behaviors to build and Thank others for their willingness to talk.
maintain rapport.
We use uniting behaviors to State common concerns.
emphasize common ground. State common needs as they are discovered.
Review progress.
We use uniting behaviors to think Make sure we are working to address all needs.
about conflict as a mutual problem.
OPENING Actively listen.
We use opening behaviors when we Ask open ended questions.
are gathering information to help us Ask clarifying questions.
identify positions and underlying Restate ideas and facts to check understanding.
needs. Summarize ideas and feelings.
INFORMING Explain what is wanted.
We use informing behaviors to build a Reveal our needs.
cooperative climate and establish Use “I” statements.
trust. Reveal our feelings about the issue.
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Unit V, Lesson 4, Connect: Lowering Barriers to Communication
Essential Question: What can we do to give effective communication its best chance?
Objectives – Students will:

• Learn about six barriers to effective communication.
• Recognize specific ways different barriers impede communication.
• Identify ways to avoid communication barriers.
Supplies:
• Copies of Handout 1: Barriers to Effective Communication
• Copies of Handout 2: Barriers to Effective Communication: Scenarios
• Copies of Handout 3: Lowering Barriers to Effective Communication
• Internet access
Preparation:
• Make enough copies of Handouts 1, 2, and 3 for each student to have one.
Time: 40 minutes
Opening:
Ask: Can anyone think of an example from a book, TV, or movie where two people are talking past
each other and can’t communicate? Record responses.
Main Activity:
Ask: How many of us have been caught in a breakdown in communication that we didn’t see was
happening until we were in the middle of it? Ask for volunteers to briefly describe situations where
communication broke down.
Ask: What caused the communication breakdowns in the examples we just shared?
Distribute Handout 1 and review the five listed types of barriers to communication. Ask students
to work with a partner to add examples to each communication barrier and decide if there are other
ones to add to the list.
Distribute Handouts 2 and 3. Ask members of each group to read either scenario one or scenario
two. Then, ask group members to work together to identify barriers to communication in their
scenario. Create a list of ways that the parties involved in each scenario could lower expressed
barriers to communication.
Closing:
Ask: Which of the barriers to communication seems most difficult to lower? Why? Name a strategy
for lowering barriers to communication that you learned today and think you can use in your
everyday life?
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1. Expressing behaviors of respect in our diverse world means recognizing how effective
communication, and barriers to communication, shape interactions beyond situations of
conflict or misunderstanding. Read this story from NPR’s My Unsung Hero series.
Brainstorm with a partner the communication tools used throughout this story. Then, think
of a time that someone used tools for effective communication that made a difficult,
complicated, or stressful situation better for you.
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Unit V, Lesson 4, Handout #1: Barriers to Effective Communication
Name: __________________ Date: ____________
1. Physical:
Physical barriers can affect both verbal and non-verbal communication. Examples of
physical barriers include not speaking in person (think: Zoom), or not being able to hear or
focus clearly what is being communicated due to environmental/background
interference. What are some other examples?
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
2. Body Language:
Body language is a powerful communicator of what we feel and think, but some body
language can inhibit communication, for example, when one person folds their arms tightly
across their body. What are some other examples of body language that can create barriers
to communication?
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
3. Emotional:
Feelings can shape our ability to think and communicate. A concern about confrontation or
mistrust may make parties limit communication. What are some examples of emotional
barriers to communication?
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
4. Perceptual:
How people perceive, understand, or view the world impacts communication for both
speakers and listeners. Examples include stereotyping and selective perception, both of
which impact how we judge others and the assumptions we make as a result. What are
some other examples?
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
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5. Language:
Language barriers can include not recognizing how words have different meanings to
different people. Use of slang, or “insider” jargon and assuming the other person knows
what you mean is an example of a language barrier. What are some other examples?
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
6. Is there a barrier that should be added to this list? How would you describe this
barrier? Please explain here:
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
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Unit V, Lesson 4, Handout #2: Barriers to Effective Communication: Scenarios
Scenario 1
Marisol: (crosses her arms and avoids eye contact) Amy, I still don’t understand why you’re so
upset about the scene. We need to work together to make it the best it can be.
Amy: (rolls her eyes and leans back in her chair) Marisol, you just don’t get it. You always want to
do things your way and never listen to my ideas.
Marisol: (sighs and looks down) That’s not true, Amy. I’ve always been open to your suggestions.
But this time, I genuinely believe my idea works better for the scene.
Amy: (raises her voice and points a finger at Marisol) You’re not even considering what I have to
say! You always think you’re right!
Marisol: (defensively leans back, mirroring Amy’s body language) I am considering your
perspective, Amy. But you need to understand that I have my reasons for suggesting this
approach.
Amy: (gestures wildly with her hands) You're just trying to control everything, Marisol! I can’t work
like this.
Marisol: (gazes off to the side, frustrated) I don't understand why you're so angry. We're supposed
to be friends, and now we can't even have a civil conversation.
Amy: (snaps her fingers and glares at Marisol) You're not listening! You're just shutting me down!
Marisol: (mumbles to herself and shakes her head) This is impossible. You won't even give me a
chance to explain my point of view.
Annie: (sits between them and tries to mediate) Hey, guys, can we please calm down and try to
understand each other? We're all in this play together.
Marisol: (softens her posture and makes eye contact with Annie) I'll try, but it's hard when Amy
keeps getting in my face and yelling.
Amy: (crosses her arms tightly and leans away from Marisol) I can't help it if I get passionate about
things. But Marisol never really listens to me.
Annie: (tries to create a safe space for open communication) Marisol, maybe try to approach Amy
calmly and let her express herself without interruptions. And Amy, take a moment to listen to
Marisol's perspective too.
Marisol: (nods reluctantly) Okay, I'll give it a shot. But it's going to be tough.
Amy: (uncrosses her arms and takes a deep breath) Fine, I'll try. But Marisol needs to understand
how strongly I feel about this scene.
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Scenario 2
Kevin: Hey Maurice, I wanted to talk about something.
Maurice: Yeah, sure. What's up?
Kevin: Well, remember when we became lab partners in chemistry? I thought we would work
together and do well in the class. But I feel like I've been doing the work on my own.
Maurice: I don't get why you're so stressed about it. I've been busy with other things, but I've done
my part.
Kevin: It's not just about doing your part, Maurice. I expected us to share the workload equally. You
used to be so dedicated to soccer, always showing up and working hard. I thought you'd have the
same commitment to our chemistry class.
Maurice: Soccer is different, Kevin. I have more passion for it. Chemistry is just another subject
to me.
Kevin: But we made a commitment to be lab partners, Maurice. I rely on you to contribute your fair
share. It's frustrating when I have to rewrite most of the reports because they're not up to the
standard required.
Maurice: Look, I'm sorry if I've let you down, but I don't see why it's such a big deal. You're always
so focused on perfection.
Kevin: It's not about perfection, Maurice. It's about putting in the effort and taking our
responsibilities seriously. If we don't work together, we'll both suffer the consequences.
Maurice: You're being too hard on me, Kevin. I can't match your level of dedication. I have other
things going on in my life.
Kevin: I understand that we all have different priorities, but it's frustrating when I feel like I'm
carrying most of the load. I thought I could rely on you, especially since you impressed me so much
with your commitment to soccer.
Maurice: Soccer is my passion, Kevin. I can't give the same level of dedication to every aspect of
my life.
Kevin: I get it, Maurice. We all have different passions. But when we're on the same team, whether
it's soccer or chemistry, we need to support each other and fulfill our responsibilities.
Maurice: I hear you, Kevin, but I can't guarantee that I'll match your expectations.
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Unit V, Lesson 4, Handout #3: Lowering Barriers to Effective Communication
1. Pick a place to talk where noise and distractions will not make it hard to hear or focus on
the conversation.
2. Be aware of your own body language. Remember that your facial expression, your gestures,
and how you hold your body are sending strong messages. Make sure your body language
shows you are focused on the conversation. Remember to maintain eye contact. Sit up
straight. Pay attention to the body language of the person with whom you are speaking so
you can use active listening skills to address non-verbal messages.
3. Be aware of your tone of voice, pitch, and the rate at which you are speaking.
4. Prepare ahead of time for your conversation. Think about whether language barriers could
impact clear communication or whether there are cultural differences you need to take into
consideration.
5. Examine how you feel emotionally about the issue you are talking about. Make sure you
know how you feel and why you feel the way you do. If you think you may not be able to
remain calm when talking about a difficult issue, postpone the conversation to give yourself
time to better manage your emotions.
6. Think through what you are going to discuss and examine your perspective to see if you are
making any perceptual errors. Make an honest assessment of your perceptions. Examine
how open-minded you are about listening to, and considering, another person’s
perspective.
7. After honestly examining your perceptions, consider what the other person may be thinking
and feeling. Try to put yourself in the “other person’s shoes.” Ask yourself if you can have
empathy toward the other person even if you disagree.
8. Take time to consider how you will use uniting behaviors to set a cooperative tone. Think
about how you will use opening behaviors and active listening skills to encourage the other
person to talk.
9. Make sure you have thought through your needs and positions and can clearly explain why
you want what you want. You can only use informing behaviors effectively if you have taken
the time to examine from where you are coming. Be careful not to assume you know what
the other person’s needs and positions are, but take the time to consider what they might
be. Remember, this is what you’re thinking prior to your conversation. It is not what you
know. You will only know what they are thinking when you listen to and talk with the other
person.
10. Communication is a two-way process where information is sent back and forth between
two people. Listen, ask questions, listen to feedback, and paraphrase or reflect on what the
other person says so that you accurately understand one another. Your goal is to reframe
the conflict into a mutual problem to be solved in a way that satisfies everyone involved.
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Unit V, Lesson 5, Apply: Collaborative Negotiation
Essential Question: How can we transform conflict with collaborative negotiation?

• Learn the ten-step collaborative negotiation process.
• Identify key conflict resolution skills used in the collaborative negotiation process.
• Reflect on the importance of self-awareness in a collaborative negotiation.
Supplies:
• Copies of Handout 1: The Collaborative Negotiation Process
• Copies of Handout 2: Collaborative Negotiation Role-Play Instructions
• Copies of Handout 3: Breaking Down a Conflict
• Copies of Handout 4: Observer Feedback Form
• Internet access
Preparation:
• Make enough copies of Handouts 1, 3, and 4 for each student to have one.
• Make enough copies of Handout 2 for each group to have one.
• Display the following on the board:
• “You want your parents to allow you to go out with your friend on a weekend
evening. Weekend evenings have always been family time, though.
• You think you and your friend need to study together for an exam. It will help both of
you. Your friend wants to hang out with their dog and frisbee on the lawn instead.”
Time: 50 minutes
Note to the teacher: Depending on how long the negotiation process takes, this lesson may
require two class sessions to complete.
Opening:
Distribute and review Handout 1.
Review the ten steps of collaborative negotiation as a class.
Ask for a volunteer to read one of the situations and share the steps they would take to make their
request. Ask another how they would add or modify the steps the first student listed. Generate a list
of steps that reflect:
• Setting the stage
• Justifying
• Presenting reasons
• Establishing goals
Ask the whole class: What other steps haven’t been mentioned yet that we should list as important?
Record responses.
Ask: Based on what you’ve learned about conflict, why do you think the first step is using a uniting
behavior? Why do you think we need to repeat steps two through six?
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Main Activity:
Tell the class that they are going to prepare for, and conduct, a collaborative negotiation as a class.
Divide the class into three groups.
Distribute Handout 2. Review the instructions with the class.
Tell students that they will be given time to prepare for the collaborative negotiation with their
group. Each group should discuss how to express their viewpoint during the negotiation, and how
they can acknowledge and show respect for the viewpoints of the other groups as well.
Distribute Handout 3. Tell students to use this sheet to prepare for the negotiation in their groups.
Instruct students to work together to identify their own group’s positions and needs. Then, they
should discuss what possible needs might underlie the other groups’ positions, and brainstorm
ways to show respect for those needs.
Give students at least 20 minutes to prepare for the negotiation.
At the end of preparation time, ask each group to select two students to represent them in the
negotiation. From the remaining students, select one to serve as the town’s mayor. Say to the
mayor: You are going to lead this collaborative negotiation. It is your job to ensure that each group
follows and abides by the steps in the collaborative negotiation process.
Note to the teacher: You may decide to choose one student to serve as mayor before breaking
the class into groups to provide more preparation time.
Instruct the representatives from each group that they must use the steps in a collaborative
negotiation to develop a solution to their common problem that all groups can agree to. Instruct the
rest of the class to watch the negotiation closely to see how representatives follow the steps of a
collaborative negotiation.
Once the representatives have agreed on a plan, allow them to write it on the board and present it
to the entire class. Thank the representatives and the mayor for their work.
Bring the class back together as a whole. Say: let’s spend some time reflecting on your experiences
in the role-plays.
Ask: What did you enjoy about the process? What were some hard parts of working out a
disagreement by negotiating.
Distribute and review Handout 4. Instruct the class to fill out the form with their reflections on the
process.
Closing:
Read this New York Times article “Learn to Argue Productively.” Buster Benson is quoted in the
article as a subject-area expert. In his book Why Are We Yelling: The Art of Productive
Disagreement, Benson advocates keeping focus on these important perspectives:
141
• Arguments aren’t only about being right. They’re an opportunity to use tools and skills to
understand parts of our diverse world from different perspective.
• Arguments don’t have to be heated, explosive moments.
• Everyone, if willing, can learn from one another.
Ask: What questions do you have for Buster Benson after reading the article?
Ask: What are the most important, or interesting, things you have learned so far about
collaborative negotiation?
Ask: What impact does collaborative negotiation have on transforming a conflict?
1. Research the Good Friday Agreement that largely ended the Troubles in Northern Ireland.
Write about what the Accords did and did not accomplish and why they are considered a
successful example of conflict transformation through collaborative negotiation.
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Unit V, Lesson 5, Handout #1: The Collaborative Negotiation Process
When using the collaborative negotiation process, take the time to:
• Identify the needs, positions and feelings the conflict has elicited in you.
• Make sure you are ready and willing to listen and empathize, even though times you might
not agree.
• Find out if all involved parties are willing to talk directly. If not, suggest using a neutral third-
party mediator to help advance the process.
Part One: Conducting the Collaborative Negotiation
1. Start with uniting behaviors to create a positive communications climate for the negotiation.
If possible, identify common concerns and or common experiences.
2. Use active listening skills including restatement and paraphrasing to elevate comfortable
communication.
3. Use opening behaviors to paraphrase/articulate the need(s) you have heard expressed.
4. Use informing behaviors and “I” statements to share needs without blaming others.
5. Ask clarifying questions to make sure all involved understand all positions.
6. If necessary, restate your position to make sure the other party understands.
Repeat steps two through six until all are satisfied that their needs and positions are represented in
the discussion.
Part Two: Transforming the Conflict into a Mutual Problem to be Solved
7. Once positions and needs of all involved have been articulated, continue using uniting
behaviors to identify areas of mutual concern or agreement. This is when reframing a
conflict into a mutual problem to resolve with collaboration happens.
8. Use uniting behaviors to brainstorm alternative solutions together.
9. Once alternatives have been suggested, work together to choose the alternative (or
combination of alternatives) that work best for all involved.
10. Summarize the solution/s agreed upon.
Note: Some people like to write down the areas of mutual concern and the alternative solutions
they brainstorm in steps seven through ten to help them focus and remember. Likewise, some
people find it important to write down the summary of their resolution.
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Unit V, Lesson 5, Handout #2: Collaborative Negotiation Role-Play Instructions
The mayor of a town has decided to create a new town square. The goal for the new town square is
to represent the values of all the people who live in the town. The town government has begun to
hold public meetings to decide on what the new town square should represent. Three factions have
developed among the citizens of the town:
• One faction believes that the square should be a space of worship for the deities of the
people in the town.
• A second group believes that the square should become a space for public performances
like theater shows, music performances, athletic competitions, public readings, and so on.
• A third group believes that the square should be preserved as green space to respect
nature.
Arguments between the three groups began during meetings, and the townspeople have only
become more divided as the process has gone on. People are putting up lawn signs, wearing pins
and badges to express their loyalties, and are now starting to treat people from the other factions
uncivilly. The mayor is worried that this disagreement has gotten out of hand and wants to prevent
the situation from becoming dangerous.
The mayor has convened a meeting of the three factions within the town and asked each faction to
send representatives to express their views. Each group wants their view to be represented and
disagrees with the other factions.
You have been selected to serve as one of the representatives for the town meeting. You have the
task of developing a solution for the town’s problem that represents the interests of your own group
while acknowledging the needs of the other factions.
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Group Perspectives
Note to the teacher: Distribute one copy of the following instructions to the appropriate group.
Do not let other groups see the perspectives of the competing groups until the collaborative
negotiation process begins.
Group 1 Perspective: Space of Worship
• Religious people in the town want to bring in statues, paintings, and other icons of their
divinities and to be allowed to worship in public.
• They argue that they should have the right to express their religious identities openly, and
not only in houses of worship.
• They want the town to acknowledge its historic traditions, along with the holidays and
beliefs of its religious peoples.
• They worry that without this public expression of the town’s religious identities, those
identities will lose their relevance to public life.
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Group 2 Perspective: Public Performance Space
• Secular individuals in the town feel that they would like a space to express their cultures
and identities.
• They believe that it is important that all cultural life in the town should be represented, not
just culture grounded in religion.
• They worry that their own unique identities are being pushed to the side in favor of the
town’s religious majorities.
• They believe that the town government should be impartial towards the groups that are
represented in the public square and not favor any particular identity or group.
• They argue that creating this space would be good for local business and would attract
tourists as well.
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Group 3 Perspective: Green Space
• Conservationists in the town would like to establish the square as a greenspace that would
be healthier for their children and the environment.
• Currently, there are no dedicated parks or fields that attract wildlife.
• They would also prefer a dedicated space for community gardens to grow produce such as
fruits and vegetables.
• There are few trees in the town because of ongoing development.
• It would also be less expensive to manage for the townspeople to manage.
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Unit V, Lesson 5, Handout #3: Breaking Down a Conflict
Name: __________________ Date: ____________
Your group name: __________________________
1. Our position is:
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
2. Our underlying needs are:
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Group #2 name: __________________________
1. Their position is:
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
2. Their underlying needs might be:
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
3. What we can do to show respect for their needs:
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Group #3 name: __________________________
1. Their position is:
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
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2. Their underlying needs might be:
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
3. What we can do to show respect for their needs:
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
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Unit V, Lesson 6, Handout #4: Observer Feedback Form
Name: __________________ Date: ____________
Behavior Examples in Today’s Role-Play

Inform
• Giving reasons, justifying
• Sharing positions and needs
• Sharing feelings
Open
• Using active listening
• Asking non-judgmental questions
about the other’s needs, positions,
and feelings
• Paraphrasing, restating
• Summarizing
Unite
• Building rapport
• Establishing common ground
• Reframing
How well do you think the collaborative negotiation progress addressed each party’s needs?
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
Where did you observe instances of reframing the conflict as a problem to be solved together?
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
How do you think the parties could improve their collaborative negotiating?
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
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Spotlight: Tanenbaum Peacemaker in Action Friar Ivo Markovic
Friar Ivo Markovic is Catholic Franciscan who emerged as a force for reconciliation in the midst of
the Bosnian war, a violent conflict that followed the break-up of Yugoslavia in 1992. A Bosnian
Croat, Friar Ivo worked without concern for his own life, always ready to confront the hypocrisy
within his own community.
By the time a peace agreement ended the conflict in 1995, nearly 96,000 people had been killed,
1.29 million people were displaced, and six new, independent states had been formed. Friar Ivo
worked to stop the violence by reaching out across religious and ethnic lines to Croats (generally
Catholics), Serbs (generally Orthodox Christians), and Bosniaks (generally Muslims). These efforts
often put his life at risk. Friar Ivo built bridges between these opposing groups by emphasizing the
commonalities in their religious traditions. Once, in the middle of battle, Friar Ivo insisted upon
going into a Bosniak Muslim village by crossing the Croat forces’ line of fire. Threatened with being
shot if he went any further, he nonetheless continued to speak to the imam (Muslim religious leader)
on the other side. Eventually, they negotiated a meeting between the local commanders, who
agreed to stop the fighting.
During the Bosnian war, Friar Ivo assumed various roles. Sometimes he was an advocate,
encouraging people to ask local politicians not to inflame the conflict. At other times he was an
educator, using writing to advocate for peace and to alert the outside world of the plight in their
region. Often, he served as a mediator who brought together conflicting groups.
Friar Ivo continues his interfaith work today as head of Pontanima, a multi-ethnic and interfaith
choir, in Bosnia’s capital city of Sarajevo. This choir includes 60 members of various religious
traditions, and it truly represents the diverse religious communities within Bosnia and Herzegovina.
The choir performs concerts—and shares its message of interreligious understanding—around
the world.
Still passionate about interfaith relations, Friar Ivo works behind the scenes to build positive
interfaith relationships in his post-conflict society. Recognizing the importance of community
healing, Friar Ivo organizes seminars and lectures that promote peace and empower students to
develop creative projects to improve their communities. He continues to write and lecture against
the misuse of religion to promote violence.
151
Map from “Maps of Bosnia and Herzegovina,” World Atlas,
https://www.worldatlas.com/maps/bosnia-and-herzegovina
152
1. Friar Ivo helped people of different religious and ethnic groups earn about each other, form
connections, and negotiate their differences. How do you think his efforts helped multiple
groups reframe the conflict? (Elicit that his work allowed people from opposing groups to
recognize their commonalities, which helped them see the conflict as a mutual problem to
be solved and work for peace.)
2. How do the skills we’ve learned in this unit, such as reframing, collaborative negotiation,
and recognizing barriers to effective communication, connect to Friar Ivo’s story? How
could these skills be used in other places across the globe?
3. Much of Friar Ivo’s work was focused on maintaining and advancing peace in a post-
conflict zone. Why should we continuously work for conflict transformation and peace even
after armed conflict ends?
identities play a role in Friar Ivo’s peacebuilding work?
5. How did Friar Ivo’s conflict transformation skills make his region a better place? How can
you use his example to make the world a better place in your own way?
1. Learn more about Friar Ivo:

• Read an in-depth feature of Friar Ivo’s life by Beyond Intractability.
• Watch a video featuring Friar Ivo discussing his work for peace.
• Listen to an audio clip discussing Friar Ivo’s work with his multi faith choir.
• Explore more information about the Bosnian War.
2. The sectarian conflict that Friar Ivo faced came about after the break-up of Yugoslavia in
1992. Put the class in small groups and ask them to research other examples of conflicts
leading up to or following changes in land borders, and what efforts for conflict
transformation or peace have been attempted in those regions.
3. One way that Friar Ivo promotes interfaith relations is through a multi-ethnic, interfaith choir.
Partnering with a music teacher, teach about songs from different religious or ethnic
traditions, then listen to or perform the songs as a class.
4. Ask students to write a short story and/or create a visual image from Friar Ivo’s perspective
as he risked his life to speak with the Imam in the Bosniak Muslim village. Students should
explore his emotions and motivation—why would he risk his life? What was he thinking
during this event?
153
Appendices
154
Appendix A: Promoting Social and Emotional Growth
A fundamental component of Transforming Conflict is engaging children in activities that help
build their mastery of the five SEL core competencies identified by the Collaborative for Academic,
Social, and Emotional Learning (CASEL). These five competencies, described below, are: self-
awareness, self-management, social awareness, relationship skills, and responsible decision-
making.
Each lesson addresses one

or more of these essential life
skills that reinforce and/or
are closely related to one or
more Social Studies and/or
ELA standards. Promoting
students’ social and
emotional growth fosters
their ability to be pro-social
members of their school
community, and of their
larger community at home
and in their neighborhood.
From the CASEL

website: Social and
emotional learning (SEL) is
an integral part of education
and human development.
SEL is the process through
which all young people and
adults acquire and apply the
knowledge, skills, and
attitudes to develop healthy
identities, manage emotions
and achieve personal and collective goals, feel and show empathy for others, establish and
maintain supportive relationships, and make responsible and caring decisions.
SEL advances educational equity and excellence through authentic school-family-community

partnerships to establish learning environments and experiences that feature trusting and
collaborative relationships, rigorous and meaningful curriculum and instruction, and ongoing
evaluation. SEL can help address various forms or inequity and empower young people and adults
to co-create thriving schools and contribute to safe, healthy, and just communities.
The CASEL 5 addresses five broad and interrelated areas of competence and highlights illustrative
examples for each: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, relationship skills, and
responsible decision making. The CASEL 5 can be taught and applied at various developmental
stages from childhood to adulthood and across diverse cultural contexts.
155
SEL Core Competencies
1. Self-awareness: The abilities to understand one’s own emotions, thoughts, and
values, and how they influence behavior across contexts. This includes capacities to
recognize one’s strengths and limitations with a well-grounded sense of confidence and purpose.
Such as:
• Integrating personal and social identities
• Identifying personal, cultural and linguistic assets
• Identifying one’s emotions
• Demonstrating honesty and integrity
• Linking feelings, values and thoughts
• Examining prejudices and biases
• Experiencing self-efficacy
• Having a growth mindset
Equity Connections (from the CASEL District Resource Center, SEL AS A LEVER FOR EQUITY-
EQUITY CONNECTIONS TO SEL COMPENTENCES)
Self-awareness is foundational for equity. It involves understanding your emotions, personal

identity, goals, and values. This includes accurately assessing your strengths and limitations, having
positive mindsets, possessing a well-grounded sense of self-efficacy, and optimism.
Developing self-awareness with an equity lens can help students and adults:
• Understand the links between personal and sociocultural identities that are defined by cultural
and/or family values, ethnicity, race, socioeconomic status, gender, and other factors.
• Examine what it means to belong to a group or community, including how ethnicity and race
impacts one’s sense of self and beliefs. (A healthy sense of ethnic-racial identity is important
for psychological, academic, and social well-being.)
• Recognize biases and understand how thoughts, feelings, and actions are interconnected.
• Ground oneself in, and affirm, one’s cultural heritage(s) or communities (especially important for
students of color), reduce psychological distress and risky behaviors, protect against the
negative health impacts of racial discrimination, and promote a range of positive social and
emotional outcomes, including school engagement and prosocial behaviors.
2. Self-management: The abilities to manage one’s emotions, thoughts, and

behaviors effectively in different situations, and to achieve goals and aspirations. This
includes the capacity to delay gratification, manage stress, and feel motivation and agency to
accomplish personal and collective goals.
156
Such as:
• Managing one’s emotions
• Identifying and using stress management strategies
• Exhibiting self-discipline and self-motivation
• Setting personal and collective goals
• Using planning and organizational skills
• Showing the courage to take initiative
• Demonstrating personal and collective agency
Equity Connections
Self-management includes regulating your emotions, stress management, self-control, self-

motivation, and setting and achieving goals.
It’s important to examine an individual’s self-management in relationship to a larger context.

Schools, like most other U.S. social institutions, can often prioritize middle-class American cultural
values, norms, and practices. For students, such as low-income or immigrant youth, who
experience a cultural mismatch between school and home life, this can often lead to a type of
stress associated with health and behavioral problems. Additionally, experiences
of discrimination and microaggressions can also lead to negative social and emotional
outcomes and behaviors.
When leveraged to promote equity, self-management can help students and adults:
• Cope with the stress of adapting to school culture.
• Cope with discrimination and prejudice.
• Develop a sense of agency, identify societal challenges, and pursue individual and collective
solutions.
3. Social Awareness: The ability to understand the perspectives of, and empathize
with, others, including those from diverse backgrounds, cultures, and contexts.
This includes the capacities to feel compassion for others, understand broader historical and social
norms for behavior in different settings, and recognize family, school, and community resources
and supports.
Such as:
• Taking others’ perspectives
• Recognizing strengths in others
• Demonstrating empathy and compassion
• Showing concern for the feelings of others
• Understanding and expressing gratitude
• Identifying diverse social norms, including unjust ones
• Recognizing situational demands and opportunities
• Understanding the influences of organizations and systems on behavior
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Equity Connections
Social awareness involves the ability to take the perspective of those with the same and with
different backgrounds and cultures, and to empathize and feel compassion.
Fostering social-awareness through an equity lens can help adults and students to:
• Understand social norms for behavior in diverse settings.
• Recognize family, school, and community resources and supports.
• Recognize and examine potentially competing cultural and race-related messages
and expectations.
• Explore the importance of different types of diversity in classrooms, school, and
community settings.
• Recognize cultural demands and opportunities across different settings.
• Recognize issues of race and class across different settings.
• Assess power dynamics and how these dynamics can disadvantage others.
• Envision ways to co-create safe and constructive learning environments.
4. Relationship Skills: The abilities to establish and maintain healthy and supportive
relationships and to effectively navigate settings with diverse individuals and groups.
This includes the capacities to communicate clearly, listen actively, cooperate, work collaboratively
to problem-solve and negotiate conflict constructively, navigate settings with differing social and
cultural demands and opportunities, provide leadership, and seek or offer help when needed.
Such as:
• Communicating effectively
• Developing positive relationships
• Demonstrating cultural competency
• Practicing teamwork and collaborative problem-solving
• Resolving conflicts constructively
• Resisting negative social pressure
• Showing leadership in groups
• Seeking or offering support and help when needed
• Standing up for the rights of others
Equity Connections
Relationship skills involve building relationships with diverse individuals and groups, communicating
clearly, working cooperatively, resolving conflicts, and seeking help.
When cultivated with an equity lens, relationship skills can help students and adults:
• Develop cultural competency skills, which includes building relationships with those from
different backgrounds in a way that values their culture and history.
• Learn about and navigate cultural differences (for example, by “code-switching”).
• Collaboratively problem-solve across differences in race, culture, gender, and social roles.
158
5. Responsible Decision-making: The ability to make caring and constructive choices
about personal behavior and social interactions across diverse situations. This
includes the capacities to consider ethical standards and safety concerns, and to evaluate the
benefits and consequences of various actions for personal, social, and collective well-being.
Such as:
• Demonstrating curiosity and open-mindedness
• Learning how to make a reasoned judgment after analyzing information, data, and facts
• Identifying solutions for personal and social problems
• Anticipating and evaluating the consequences of one’s actions
• Reflecting on one’s role to promote personal, family, and community well-being
• Evaluating personal, interpersonal, community, and institutional impacts
Equity Connections
Responsible decision-making refers to considering the well-being of self and others; recognizing
one’s responsibility to behave ethically; basing decisions on safety, social, and ethical
considerations; evaluating realistic consequences of various actions; and making constructive, safe
choices for self, relationships, and school.
By fostering equity through SEL, developing responsible decision-making skills can position adults
and students to:
• Engage in initiatives and co-create solutions that are inclusive, equitable, and mutually
supportive.
• Develop an understanding of systemic or structural explanations for different treatment and
outcomes.
• Assess the impact of personal beliefs and biases.
• Reflect on how actions taken by individuals, groups and institutions impact equity.
• Make caring, constructive choices about personal behavior and social interactions across
diverse settings.
Read more about how SEL competencies can support equity in Equity & Social and Emotional
Learning: A Cultural Analysis.
Social emotional skills are important for one’s life. College websites list these as the kind of
characteristics sought in incoming students, and they are often included in the job skills employers
seek in applicants. Some of these characteristics and skills include:
• Communication skills (listening, verbal, and written) – The ability to communicate effectively,
whether face-to-face or through various media, is critical to success in school at all levels and
in one’s career.
159
• Multicultural awareness and sensitivity – Our communities, our schools, and our work
experiences in the 21st century bring us into contact with diverse people and cultures with
whom we live, learn, and work. Social awareness, sensitivity, and relationship skills that
enable us to recognize and respect different world views and make us open to the ideas
and perspectives of others are strengths that colleges and employers look for and value
in applicants.
• Self-awareness – Regardless of one’s age, the more self-awareness people have about their
abilities, strengths, achievements, challenges, weaknesses, values and goals, the more a
person is able to grow and learn. Regardless of who we are, where we live, or what we want to
achieve, life-long learning enables a person to meet current and future circumstances and to
fulfill new roles.
• Teamwork – Closely aligned to social awareness and relationship skills is the ability to work well
with others to achieve a common goal, whether on a school or professional project. The ability
to build trusting bonds with one’s peers and those in leadership positions is essential for
personal and professional success.
160
Appendix B: Common Core ELA-Literacy Standards
From the Introduction to the English Language Arts Standards:
“The English Language Arts Standards lay out a vision of what it means to be a literate person in the
twenty-first century. Indeed, the skills and understandings students are expected to demonstrate
have wide applicability outside the classroom or workplace. Students who meet the Standards
readily undertake the close, attentive reading that is at the heart of understanding and enjoying
complex works of literature. They habitually perform the critical reading necessary to pick carefully
through the staggering amount of information available today in print and digitally. They actively seek
the wide, deep, and thoughtful engagement with high-quality literary and informational texts that
builds knowledge, enlarges experience, and broadens worldviews. They reflexively demonstrate the
cogent reasoning and use of evidence that is essential to both private deliberation and responsible
citizenship in a democratic republic. In short, students who meet the Standards develop the skills in
reading, writing, speaking, and listening that are the foundation for any creative and purposeful
expression in language.”
Transforming Conflict addresses multiple ELA skills – for example, reading, writing, speaking
and listening – in each lesson. The lessons support age-appropriate development in each of these
areas to promote students’ progress toward mastery and their graduation from high school well-
prepared for post-secondary education and/or the world of work.
The curriculum is focused on developing students’ age-appropriate ability to:

• Engage in active listening.
• Read and think critically.
• Use evidence to develop ideas.
• Articulate their ideas clearly verbally and in writing.
• Develop a broad worldview.
Teachers are encouraged to extend lessons to include additional reading, writing, and speaking and
listening assignments to reinforce ELA skills as needed by their students. Detailed information on
Common Core English Language Arts and Literacy standards can be found at the Common Core
State Standards Initiative website.
161
Appendix C: National Social Studies Themes
National Curriculum Standards for Social Studies
From the Introduction to the National Curriculum Standards for Social Studies:
“The aim of social studies is the promotion of civic competence—the knowledge, intellectual
processes, and democratic dispositions required of students to be active and engaged participants
in public life….
The civic mission of social studies demands the inclusion of all students—addressing cultural,
linguistic, and learning diversity that includes similarities and differences based on race, ethnicity,
language, religion, gender, sexual orientation, exceptional learning needs, and other educationally
and personally significant characteristics of learners. Diversity among learners embodies the
democratic goal of embracing pluralism to make social studies classrooms laboratories
of democracy….
The civic mission of social studies requires more than the acquisition of content. Since social
studies has as its primary goal the development of a democratic citizenry, the experiences students
have in their social studies classrooms should enable learners to engage in civic discourse and
problem-solving, and to take informed civic action.”
Lessons in Transforming Conflict reinforce the acquisition of knowledge and skills related to
five of the ten thematic social studies strands set forth in National Curriculum Standards for
Social Studies. Each unit will indicate the thematic strands that lessons within the unit address.
These strands include:
Culture: The study of culture examines the socially transmitted beliefs, values, institutions,
behaviors, traditions, and way of life of a group of people; it also encompasses other cultural
attributes and products, such as language, literature, music, arts and artifacts, and foods. Students
come to understand that human cultures exhibit both similarities and differences, and they learn to
see themselves both as individuals and as members of a particular culture that shares similarities
with other cultural groups, but is also distinctive. They also come to understand that cultures
change over time. In a multicultural, democratic society and globally connected world, students
need to understand the multiple perspectives that derive from different cultural vantage points.
Individual Development and Identity: Personal identity is shaped by an individual’s culture,

by groups, by institutional influences, and by lived experiences shared with people inside and
outside the individual’s own culture throughout her or his development. Given the nature of
individual development in a social and cultural context, students need to be aware of the processes
of learning, growth, and interaction at every level of their own school experiences. The examination
of various forms of human behavior enhances an understanding of the relationships between social
norms and emerging personal identities, the social processes that influence identity formation, and
the ethical principles underlying individual action. The study of individual development and identity
will help students to describe factors important to the development of personal identity. They will
explore the influence of peoples, places, and environments on personal development. Students
will hone personal skills such as demonstrating self-direction when working towards and accomp-
lishing personal goals, and make an effort to understand others and their beliefs, feelings,
and convictions.
162
Individuals, Groups, and Institutions: Institutions are the formal and informal political,
economic, and social organizations that help us carry out, organize, and manage our daily
affairs. Schools, religious institutions, families, government agencies, and the courts all play an
integral role in our lives. They are organizational embodiments of the core social values of those
who comprise them, and they play a variety of important roles in socializing individuals and meeting
their needs, as well as in the promotion of societal continuity, the mediation of conflict, and the
consideration of public issues.
Civic Ideals and Practices: The civic ideals and practices of a society shape the life experience
of the individuals living in that society. Students need to become aware of the basic freedoms and
rights afforded to them as citizens in a democracy and the responsibilities that come with those
freedoms and rights. Understanding how to apply civic ideals and practices as individuals is a
fundamental outcome for students to learn how their actions apply to working toward the common
good. It is equally important for students to identify instances when there is a gap between the
ideals of a society and the policies or practices in place, including efforts by individuals or groups to
close those gaps.
Global Connections: Global connections have intensified and accelerated the changes faced at
the local, national, and international levels. The effects are evident in rapidly changing social,
economic, and political institutions and systems. World trade has expanded and technology has
removed or lowered many barriers, bringing far-flung cultures, institutions, and systems together.
Connections among nations and regions of the world provide opportunities as well as uncertainties.
The realities of global interdependence require deeper understanding of the increasing and diverse
global connections among world societies and regions.
163
Appendix D: Seven Principles for Inclusive Education
I. Teaching all Students

• Use different approaches to teaching the same materials to accommodate all styles
of learning.
II. Exploring Multiple Identities

• Everyone is unique and encompasses multiple identity characteristics. Affirm
and encourage students’ complex identities so that they feel understood, valued,
and included.
III. Preventing Prejudice

• Promote respect for diversity to foster a safe and supportive learning environment for
all children.
• Help children build empathy and understanding for those whose personal identity,
culture, ideas, or beliefs are different from theirs.
IV. Promoting Social Justice

• Ensure equity to foster resilience and enable all children to thrive.
• Help children learn how to be allies instead of bystanders.
V. Choosing Appropriate Materials

• Use materials that are culturally responsive, age appropriate, and customized to meet
the needs of one’s students and to challenge harmful stereotypes.
VI. Teaching and Learning about Cultures and Religions

• Help children value and respect the different identities, cultures, and religious beliefs of
adults and peers in their school and in their wider community by demonstrating
meaningful cultural competence.
VII. Adapting and Integrating Lessons Appropriately

• Engage children in active learning that infuses social emotional learning into all lessons;
the essential life skills social and emotional learning teaches are as fundamental as
academic achievement in graduating students prepared for college and beyond.
• Help children make meaningful connections between what they learn in the classroom
and the real world.
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References for Seven Principles for Inclusive Education
Andersen, M. L. (1999). The Fiction of “Diversity without Oppression”: Race, Ethnicity, Identity, and
Power. In Critical Ethnicity: Countering the Waves of Identity Politics, ed. Robert Tai and Mary
Kenyatta. Boulder, CO: Rowman and Littlefield.
Banks, J.A. (2004). Teaching for Social Justice, Diversity, and Citizenship in a Global World. The
Educational Forum, (68).
Banks, J.A. & Banks, C.A.M. (1995). Handbook of Research on Multicultural Education. Macmillan
Publications; Prentice Hall International. New York; London.
Banks, J.A. & Banks, C.A. M (1995). Equity Pedagogy: An Essential Component of Multicultural
Education. Theory into Practice, (34) 3.
Cameron, M.A. & McManus, J. (2001). Addressing Challenges to Implementing Multicultural

Education: A multidisciplinary paradigm. Presented at the 16th Annual National Conference of the
National Multicultural Institute, Washington, D.C.
Derman-Sparks, Louise & The A.B.C. Taskforce. (1989). Anti-Bias Curriculum: Tools for Empowering
Young Student. National Association for the Education of Young Student. Washington, D.C.
Jackson, R. (2004). Rethinking Religious Education and Plurality: Issues in Diversity and Pedagogy.
Routledge, New York, NY.
Miller, R.B., Patton, L. L., & Webb, S. H. (1994). Rhetoric, Pedagogy, and the Study of Religion.
Journal of the American Academy of Religion, 62 (3). pp. 819-850.
Pelo, Ann & Davidson, Fran. (2000). That’s Not Fair! An Educator’s Guide to Activism with Young
Student. Redleaf Press. St. Paul.
Streib, Heinz. Inter-Religious Negotiations: Case Studies on Students’ Perception of and Dealing
with Religious Diversity. in: Hans-Guenter Heimbrock, Christoph.
Scheilke &Peter Schreiner (eds.): Towards Religious Competence. Münster: Lit Verlag, 129-149.
Suzuki, B.H. (1984). Curriculum Transformation for Multicultural Education. Education and Urban
Society, (16) 3. pp. 294-322.
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1. Teaching All Students
Students learn in different ways. For example, some students learn best when introduced to
information visually, while others learn best through hearing information. Using several different
approaches to the same material within the same lesson or activity, such as working individually,
in pairs, triads or small groups, or engaging in large group learning or activity-based projects,
makes a lesson content more accessible to a greater number of students.
• Expect students’ backgrounds and abilities to be different. Help students reflect

on, and value, their own individuality and that of their peers to cultivate a sense of
belonging for all students in your learning community.
• Consider multiple ways to teach a lesson. There are many ways to uncover student
knowledge and expand new ideas. For example, teach a new concept by having students
create a web on newsprint to represent the concept (visual), or give a brief lecture about the
concept (auditory), or have students act out the concept using various clues (kinesthetic).
Doing a group brainstorm on chart paper to garner students’ prior knowledge or reading a
story aloud that illustrates the concept are among many other instructional strategies that
can be used to increase learning outcomes for diverse learners.
• Listen carefully to student questions and comments. Learning is a dialogue

between students and teachers, with both asking questions and seeking answers from each
other. Draw upon the prior knowledge and life experience that students bring to the
classroom. Integrate their comments and questions authentically into discussion.
Encourage students to ask for more information, or to seek clarification.
• Ask other teachers how they have taught or would teach a lesson. Try out new
approaches, even if you may not have used that strategy before. Share with your
colleagues a lesson that you created and ask for constructive feedback on how well you
have addressed multiple learning styles. Ask if they have any other ideas or suggestions. Be
willing to do the same for colleagues. Learn from one another.
The instructional practices, executive function supports, and environmental considerations shared
below by subject-area experts from Tanenbaum’s National Education Advisory Board can guide
teachers towards the goal of teaching all students.
Instructional Practices
• Pre-planning can help a student be prepared as a lesson begins.

• Individualized directions allow students to clarify and re-check immediate and next steps.
• Graphic organizers can help students organize and define tasks or themes.
• Flexible expectations support students who benefit from additional time, or ways, to
process concepts and produce content.
• Differentiated lessons to support varied learning styles.
a. Content: Provide texts at varied reading levels
b. Process: Provide appropriate resources for visual, word, auditory, and kinesthetic
learners
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c. Product: Write prose or poetry, perform a public service announcement for the
school, design a game, draw a picture, or make a video.
Executive Function Supports
• Co-create direction and/or expectation goals for all appropriate content.

• Incorporate visual or written reminders of what needs to happen first, next, and last to
complete a task. Additionally, teachers can:
• Present directions for independent work in succinct and small steps.
• Provide visual reminders.
• Support time management by breaking down larger periods of time into more
manageable sections.
• Engage a variety of learning styles with self-monitoring tools including visual timers,
progress bars, and work samples.
• Use technology tools like speech to text to share student learning with a
broad audience.
• Partner work or group work can pose challenges for some students because of social
expectations or pace of work. Cut postcards, or other images, in half, having students work
with the person holding the matching piece.
Environmental Considerations
• Design with intent classroom stimuli like background sounds, lighting, and seating lay-out.
• Share estimated times for task completion.
• Allow fidget toys to help learners maintain focus.
• Introduce subtle non-verbal ways for students requesting help to notify a teacher.
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Building students’ confidence and affirming each child’s identity is an important component of
social and emotional learning. The more students develop a well-grounded sense of confidence
and self-efficacy, the greater the likelihood that they will be able to develop empathy and respect
for other people who are different from them. Below are some ways to affirm each student’s identity
and foster their sense of self-efficacy:
• Create and maintain a respectful environment for all students. Help students
speak and interact respectfully with all their peers and adults in the school. Work with
students so they learn to disagree respectfully. Students should not shy away from
conflicting ideas; instead, help them learn how to use divergent points of view as an
opportunity to deepen their understanding of themselves and others. Cultivate a
classroom community where questions are welcomed and expected.
• Encourage all aspects of each student’s individuality. Let them know it is okay
to be themselves. Create activities that help students talk about and feel pride in
themselves and their unique experiences. Discuss all areas in which a student
may find opportunities for success: academic, artistic, athletic, physical, emotional,
and personal.
• Create and maintain an environment where it is safe to wonder about and

explore one’s self and one’s peers. Help students see that none of us is a “final
product.” As we experience life and learn new things, we are all in a constant state of
developing as individuals, as learners, and as members of our communities.
• Engage students in activities where they can talk about their experiences in
relation to the academic content so that their experiences are a valued part of learning
academic content.
• Help students understand the ways in which their identities and their experiences
may be linked to their ethnicity, race, color, gender, national background, sexual
orientation, or religion.
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Fostering respect for diversity is integral to providing all children with a safe and supportive
learning environment in which to thrive. All of us are influenced by the legacy of institutionalized
inequalities that permeate history and our society as well as the stereotyped ideas and images
we encounter every day. The best way for an educator to prevent pre-conceived beliefs about
different groups of people based on their identities (such as race, religion, color, gender, national
origin, ethnicity, and sexual orientation) from escalating into feelings of prejudice and bias is to
create awareness. This can be done by discussing the stereotypes students encounter in their
daily lives in both large and small groups.
Talking about prejudice, stereotypes, and discriminatory behavior is often challenging because it
can bring up sensitive issues not only for students but for the teacher as well. It is important to
talk about all topics students bring up. If the educator feels uncomfortable speaking about
specific topics, please contact Tanenbaum about ways to address or improve the situation. Below
are some suggestions about how to create a safe space in which to talk about and raise student
awareness of prejudice, stereotypes, and discriminatory behavior and the personal and social
inequality these beliefs and behaviors contribute to.
• Teach explicitly about histories of institutionalized inequality and unfairness.

Guide students in understanding that institutionalized inequality is not everybody’s
fault. However, it is everybody’s responsibility to become aware and do what it is in
their power to do to create a fair and equitable environment in their school and in
their larger community.
• Talk about all of the students’ feelings and attitudes. Do not ignore prejudicial
beliefs or behaviors or feelings. They will not go away on their own. Cultivate a safe and
supportive classroom environment that promotes an atmosphere of trust and caring
among students and staff where each person feels comfortable sharing their feelings,
attitudes, and beliefs.
• Engage students in setting classroom agreements to prevent behaviors that

cause harm to others such as taunting, bullying, or excluding. Work explicitly
with students to be allies, not bystanders by helping them learn how to recognize and
interrupt speech or behavior that is socially, emotionally, or physically painful to a peer.
Help children learn empathy. Be clear with students that you and they will benefit from an
inclusive learning community. Set goals for how students will create a bias and bully free
classroom or learning community.
• Develop dialogue and reflection. Help the students ask themselves:

• Why do I feel this way?
• Where did I learn this belief?
• How can I incorporate and act upon this new information?
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• Don’t be afraid to talk about stereotypes. If you do not feel you have been able to
get a point across, you can always come back to it later or consult with another educator
for assistance.
• Teach students the definition of a stereotype – a generalization about a person

based on the group they belong to. Make sure students understand that a stereotype
ignores a person’s individuality and assumes that all members of a particular group are
the same in one or more ways. Negative stereotyping often leads to avoidance and
conflict. Some stereotypes sound positive, such as “All Asian students are good at math.”
But consider the impact on those Asian students who have difficulty with math and face an
unfair expectation. Be aware of consistent use of a positive or negative words or tone to
refer to a person or group. Give an example of how someone could arrive at a stereotyped
perception:
• Greek people eat a lot of lamb. Nia is Greek so she must like to eat lamb.
• Many great pro-basketball players are African-American. Mike is African-American
so he must be a good basketball player.
Ask students to explain what a person who uses this kind of reasoning is not taking
into consideration.
• Teach students to be alert to “red flags” – key words that can be signals for
stereotyping. Examples include words that are usually used to exaggerate or generalize
such as all, none, every, always, or never as well as words that stir up emotions when
applied to a group or a member of a group like dumb, lazy, cruel, sneaky, or corrupt.
• All women…
• They always…
• My people would never…
• Every one of those people are…
• If a student makes a statement or uses words that are prejudiced or are based
on a stereotype, the teacher should address the situation. Ask students to:
• Think carefully about characteristics you or someone else attribute to a person or
group of people. Ask yourself if a whole group is being judged by what just a few
members do or say.
• Remind yourself that each person is a unique individual who might not share any of
the positive or negative characteristics sometimes attributed to their “group.”
• Ask students how it makes them feel when someone makes a statement about a
group they belong to that “puts down” everyone in the group.
• Help students to identify prejudicial behavior (as opposed to making

generalizations). We all put people, places and things into categories so that we can
contextualize them in relationship to ourselves. But when we place a value on people that is
less than the value we place on ourselves, then we are prone to treat those people as inferior
and in an unfair manner. It is not enough to say that one is not a sexist, or not a racist, for
example. One must be an anti-racist, a person who actively works to stop inequality based
on race.
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Young people are good judges of what is or is not fair. Talk with students about issues of
fairness and justice in terms of equality for all. Here are some ways to promote social justice
in your classroom.
• Make comparisons. Help students compare situations of injustice in their own lives to
larger social issues. For some students, their experiences of injustice are directly linked to
larger social issues, such as access to equitable education, immigration rights, and civic
neglect of urban environments. For other students, these larger social issues will be “new”
ideas with which to grapple. These dialogues help students develop empathy and awareness
of their personal context within the broader community.
• Bring these discussions into all subject areas. Don’t limit your discussions to a day a
week, or a month. Fully integrate a social justice perspective into all content areas on a regular
basis. For example, you can draw attention to a character’s behavior in a book or have students
solve a math problem that compares the resources of one city with another.
• Develop a worldview. Encourage students to widen their vision to include issues

within and outside their immediate communities and explore their relationship to the larger
world. For example, if the air or water in their community is polluted, what are the sources
of pollution?
• Encourage students to develop a sense of civic responsibility. Use academic

learning to encourage students to understand their unique roles in society and the
contributions they can make.
• Provide role models. Teach about young people, adults, and communities that have
created social change.
• Engage in critical thinking. Ask students to explore why they think what they think and
examine where they got their opinions. Have they taken other people’s perspectives into
account? Engage students in activities to gain accurate information or to see other
perspectives.
• Explore power dynamics. Ask students if every voice has been heard in a given
situation. Ask them to explore how they define “power,” who has power, who doesn’t, and
examine access to power. Use their experiences to explore power dynamics. Who has
power on sports teams? In the classroom? In the school? In their community?
• Service learning. Get students involved in addressing social justice issues themselves.
Service opportunities can empower students to address issues of inequity in their own
communities. Help students develop projects that are achievable and relevant. Guide them
in critically examining the misguided assumptions of taking on the role of “rescuer” in
humanitarian aid or “charity work.” Engage the voices and viewpoints of the communities
with which the service learning is taking place.
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It is important to choose books and materials that reflect accurate images of diverse peoples.
Books, magazines, movies, web-based media, and handouts can be guides for behavior and
ideas, but they also have the potential to perpetuate some stereotypes. Read over all materials
you are planning to use with students and decide if they promote a positive and appropriate
image of people and themes. The following are a number of things to keep in mind when
choosing what you present to the students:
• Be diverse. Use multiple pictures, sources, or readings by and about different groups and
people.
• Let groups speak for themselves. Use sources from within the contexts you are
studying. For example: when studying women’s literature, use women authors to describe
situations, not male authors writing about women.
• Use primary sources whenever possible. Secondary sources are best used to
accompany primary sources and not as a substitute for them.
• Experts are everywhere. Go outside the traditional people, organizations, and resources
to find sources that relate to your studies. These will offer a unique perspective that can
round out more traditional sources. Draw from the richness of democratic media such as
YouTube, blogs, and other interactive resources.
• Show past and present images of different groups. Societies and cultures are
constantly changing, and people often appear very different now from how they have
appeared in the past. It is important for students to recognize the ways in which culture and
people change over time. For example, ceremonial dress is for ceremonies. Make sure that
students don’t confuse the actions and dress celebrating a cultural or religious group’s
important day for the daily clothing and actions of the group.
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6. Teaching and Learning about Cultures and Religions
It is important that students learn about other cultures and religions in a positive and comfortable
manner. This includes learning about cultural and religious differences among their peers, as well
as other cultures and religions that are more remote from their experiences. Some ways to do this
are:
• Teach students the value of asking questions. Model ways of asking respectful
questions. Encourage students to think about how to ask respectful questions of each other
and to practice doing so.
• Discuss appropriate ways to ask questions about identity, religion, culture,

and race. Help the students use positive terms to gain information about others.
• Provide anonymous ways for students to ask questions. For instance, provide an
anonymous “question box” in a prominent place in the classroom. When students realize
they can safely ask previously silenced questions, they can become more eager participants
in their learning.
• Emphasize that culture is not a fixed or permanent condition. Society and culture
are constantly changing. Languages, religions, rituals, traditions, and ways of knowing
change over time. People often appear very different now from how they appeared in the
past. It is important for students to recognize the evolving nature of, and the inaccuracies of,
previously assumed images.
• Provide opportunities for students to learn about the ever-changing cultures

of the world. Address this goal through multiple subjects, not just social studies. For
example, an abacus can be a tool to teach both math and the similarities between Chinese,
Japanese, and Russian cultures. Since use of the abacus has changed drastically, these
kinds of examples should be approached within a contemporary framework. Avoid making
sweeping statements about “Chinese, Japanese, and Russian cultures” or other cultural
groups. There is vast diversity within every cultural group. (An interesting graphic example is
to show how the Chinese language is written in various parts of mainland China.) It may be
more helpful for students to grasp the notion of diversity within groups and geographic
regions than to try to oversimplify the experiences of a certain people, nation, or region.
• Help students see a range of nuanced views and make connections within and
between cultures. For example, a generalization such as “Muslim women cover their
hair” does not address the range of beliefs among Muslims about modesty in dress and
what that entails. A more helpful discussion may guide students in seeing connections
between Islam and other religions where people may cover their hair in different situations
due to religious requirements (e.g., Amish, Jewish, Greek Orthodox, Catholic women, Sikh
men and women, etc.) These discussions require constant attention to nuance and
acknowledgement of the spectrum of practices that spring from the range of ways people
interpret their religious teachings and beliefs.
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It is important that educators be flexible in the adaptation of all the lessons in our curriculum as
well as prescribed curriculum in general. Sometimes, the most teachable moments are unplanned
and unscripted. Often pre-designed lessons are a good starting point for dialogues or critical thinking.
• Be mindful of who is in your classroom so that lessons can be culturally-

relevant to all students. When using a lesson that includes representations of a
particular place, first ask students if they have ever been to the place. Students who have
been there, or have family from the location, may be willing to share their experience. Also,
be cognizant that stereotypes or ignorance on the part of students or educators can make
some students hesitant to share their connection or personal stories. Students and
families may feel more trusting to share stories in a classroom that makes distinctions
among the range of perspectives and experiences held by individual families and that
avoids the all-too-common pitfall of assuming that all experiences from a nation or a
continent are similar. Caution should be taken to be certain that a student from a place
under discussion is comfortable sharing. For example, students or family members who
have survived severe conditions and may have entered the United States as refugees may
not have a desire, nor be prepared to “show and tell” about their homeland.
• Proceed with sensitivity, caution, and thoughtfulness in reference to

students’ family histories. Provide meaningful opportunities for students to present
their beliefs and traditions, based on their own readiness and willingness to share them.
Do not assume students have access to family history, or that it is a topic which every
family wants to share. It is especially important to remember that in the case of adoption or
foster care, children may not have access to stories of “where my family is from,” so
caution needs to be taken in how to include stories of questioning. If a child provides
limited family information, accept what is shared. Using shared information about
students’ family histories is an important way to make connections with and among
students and relate new learning to their personal experiences. Themes of family history
and immigration are commonly used to give voice to and value multiple cultural
perspectives; however, when doing so, a social justice perspective points to the need to
include discussions on the forced immigration of enslaved people, the various dire
circumstances faced by refugee people, as well as the forced migration and genocide of
Native Americans.
• Remember race and ethnicity are social constructs. Do not assume that you can
tell where a student is from or how they identify themselves just by their name, clothing, or
one or more physical characteristics.
• Be aware of what is engaging to your students. If you are teaching in a place where
a particular kind of music is the popular music of choice, use an appropriate song of that
genre instead of something that is not as relevant to students.
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Appendix E: Books that Promote Social and Emotional
Growth: Grades 6-12
Note: Book descriptions are adapted from publishers’ websites.
American Born Chinese Gene Luen Yang

A graphic novel, American Born Chinese tells the story of three apparently unrelated characters: Jin
Wang, who moves to a new neighborhood with his family only to discover that he's the only
Chinese-American student at his new school; the powerful Monkey King, subject of one of the
oldest and greatest Chinese fables; and Chin-Kee, a personification of the ultimate negative
Chinese stereotype, who is ruining his cousin Danny's life with his yearly visits. Their lives and
stories come together with an unexpected twist in this action-packed modern fable.
Antigone Sophocles
Powerfully portraying the clash between civic and familial duty—between morality and obedience—
Antigone brings the Oedipus Cycle to a conclusion with the story of the tragic hero's eldest
daughter Antigone, who courts her own death by defying the edict of Thebes's new ruler, her uncle
Kreon, which forbids giving her dishonored brother a proper burial. This is Sophocles, vibrant and
alive, for a new generation.
Counting by 7s Holly Goldberg Sioan

Willow Chance is a twelve-year-old genius, obsessed with nature and diagnosing medical
conditions, who finds it comforting to count by 7s. Suddenly Willow’s world is tragically changed
when her parents both die in a car crash, leaving her alone in a baffling world. The triumph of this
book is that it is not a tragedy. Her journey to find a fascinatingly diverse and fully believable
surrogate family is a joy and a revelation to read.
Emma Jane Austen

The story revolves around a comedy of errors: Emma befriends Harriet Smith, a young woman of
unknown parentage, and attempts to remake her in her own image. Ignoring the gaping difference
in their respective fortunes and stations in life, Emma convinces herself and her friend that Harriet
should look as high as Emma herself might for a husband—and she zeroes in on an ambitious vicar
as the perfect match.
Ender's Game Orson Scott Card

In order to develop a secure defense against a hostile alien race's next attack, government
agencies breed child geniuses and train them as soldiers...Ender's skills make him a leader in
school and respected in the Battle Room, where children play at mock battles in zero gravity. Yet,
growing up in an artificial community of young soldiers, Ender suffers greatly from isolation, rivalry
from his peers, pressure from the adult teachers, and an unsettling fear of the alien invaders. His
psychological battles include loneliness, fear that he is becoming like the cruel brother he
remembers, and fanning the flames of devotion to his beloved sister.
Feathers Jacqueline Woodson

“Hope is the thing with feathers” starts the poem Frannie is reading in school. Frannie hasn’t
thought much about hope. There are so many other things to think about. Each day, her friend
Samantha seems a bit more “holy.” There is a new boy in class everyone is calling the Jesus Boy.
And although the new boy looks like a white kid, he says he’s not white. Frannie starts seeing a lot
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of things in a new light—her brother Sean’s deafness, her mother’s fear, the class bully’s anger, her
best friend’s faith, and her own desire for “the thing with feathers.”
Frankenstein Mary Shelley

A timeless, terrifying tale of one man's obsession to create life—and the monster that became his
legacy.
Free Lunch Rex Ogle

Free Lunch is the story of Rex Ogle’s first semester in sixth grade. Rex and his baby brother often
went hungry, wore secondhand clothes, and were short of school supplies, and Rex was on his
school’s free lunch program. Grounded in the immediacy of physical hunger and the humiliation of
having to announce it every day in the school lunch line, Rex’s is a compelling story.
Hamlet William Shakespeare

Hamlet is Shakespeare’s most popular, and most puzzling, play. It follows the form of a “revenge
tragedy,” in which the hero, Hamlet, seeks vengeance against his father’s murderer, his uncle
Claudius, now the king of Denmark. Much of its fascination, however, lies in its uncertainties.
Macbeth William Shakespeare

In depicting a man who murders to become king, Macbeth teases us with huge questions. Is
Macbeth tempted by fate, or by his or his wife’s ambition? Why does their success turn to ashes?
Like other plays, Macbeth speaks to each generation. Its story was once seen as that of a hero who
commits an evil act and pays an enormous price. Recently, it has been applied to nations that
overreach themselves and to modern alienation. The line is blurred between Macbeth’s evil and his
opponents’ good, and there are new attitudes toward both witchcraft and gender.
Oedipus Rex Sophocles

“Oedipus Rex” also known by its Greek title, “Oedipus Tyrannus” is a powerful Athenian tragedy
written by Sophocles, first produced sometime around 429 BC. The story picks up with Oedipus,
who has become King of Thebes after solving the Riddle of the Sphynx. However, after receiving a
prophecy by the Oracle at Delphi, Oedipus learns he is doomed to suffer the fate of killing his father
and marrying his mother. This story has been in circulation for more than 2,500 years and has truly
withstood the test of time.
Pride and Prejudice Jane Austen

The first sentence of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice is among the most quoted in literature, and
sets up the humorous and ultimately timeless tale of proper English society, unspoken intentions,
and true love acquired.
Romeo and Juliet William Shakespeare

In Romeo and Juliet, Shakespeare creates a violent world in which two young people fall in love. It
is not simply that their families disapprove; the Montagues and the Capulets are engaged in a blood
feud. In this death-filled setting, the movement from love at first sight to the lovers’ final union in
death seems almost inevitable. And yet, this play set in an extraordinary world has become the
quintessential story of young love. In part because of its exquisite language, it is easy to respond as
if it were about all young lovers.
Sense and Sensibility Jane Austen

Love and betrayal are the key themes of the comic satire Sense and Sensibility, a much loved, and
much filmed evocation of romantic anxiety. Mrs. Dashwood and her daughters live on the edge of
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poverty, desperate to marry well, for love at best, for sustenance at least, balancing the need for
common sense against the desires and pressures of frantic emotion.
The Catcher in the Rye J.D. Salinger

The hero-narrator of The Catcher in the Rye is an ancient child of sixteen, a native New Yorker
named Holden Caufield. Through circumstances that tend to preclude adult, secondhand
description, he leaves his prep school in Pennsylvania and goes underground in New York City for
three days.
The Complete Persepolis Marjane Satrapy

A graphic novel, Persepolis is the story of Satrapi’s unforgettable childhood and coming of age
within a large and loving family in Tehran during the Islamic Revolution; of the contradictions
between private life and public life in a country plagued by political upheaval; of her high school
years in Vienna facing the trials of adolescence far from her family; of her homecoming—both sweet
and terrible; and, finally, of her self-imposed exile from her beloved homeland.
The Lines We Cross Randa Abdel-Fattah

Michael likes to hang out with his friends and play with the latest graphic design software. His
parents drag him to rallies held by their anti-immigrant group, which rails against the tide of
refugees flooding the country. And it all makes sense to Michael – until Mina, a beautiful girl from
the other side of the protest lines, shows up at his school... Suddenly, his parents' politics seem
much more complicated. Mina has had a long and dangerous journey fleeing her home in
Afghanistan and now faces a frigid reception at her new prep school. Michael has to decide where
he stands. Mina has to protect herself and her family. Both have to choose what they want their
world to look like.
The Road Cormac McCarthy

A father and his son walk alone through burned America. Nothing moves in the ravaged landscape
save the ash on the wind. It is cold enough to crack stones, and when the snow falls it is gray. The
sky is dark. Their destination is the coast, although they don’t know what, if anything, awaits them
there. They have nothing; just a pistol to defend themselves against the lawless bands that stalk the
road, the clothes they are wearing, a cart of scavenged food—and each other.
The Surprising Power of a Good Dumpling Wai Chim

Anna Chiu has her hands pretty full looking after her brother and sister and helping out at her dad's
restaurant, all while her mum stays in bed. Dad's new delivery boy, Rory, is a welcome distraction
and, even though she knows that things aren't right at home, she's starting to feel like she could
just be a normal teen. But when Mum finally gets out of bed, things go from bad to worse. And as
Mum's condition worsens, Anna and her family question everything they understand about
themselves and each other.
Their Eyes Were Watching God Zora Neale Hurston

One of the most important and enduring books of the twentieth century, Their Eyes Were Watching
God brings to life a Southern love story with the wit and pathos found only in the writing of Zora
Neale Hurston.
Things Fall Apart Chinua Achebe
Things Fall Apart is the first of three novels in Chinua Achebe’s critically acclaimed African Trilogy. It
is a classic narrative about Africa’s cataclysmic encounter with Europe as it establishes a colonial
presence on the continent. Told through the fictional experiences of Okonkwo, a wealthy and
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fearless Igbo warrior of Umuofia in the late 1800s, Things Fall Apart explores one man’s futile
resistance to the devaluing of his Igbo traditions by British political and religious forces and his
despair as his community capitulates to the powerful new order.
Wishtree Katherine Applegate

Trees can't tell jokes, but they can certainly tell stories... Red is the neighborhood "wishtree"—
people write their wishes on pieces of cloth and tie them to Red's branches. You might say Red has
seen it all, until a new family moves in. Not everyone is welcoming, and Red's experience as a
wishtree is more important than ever.
178
Appendix F: Key Terms Used in this Curriculum
Active listening: A communication technique that can be used in Conflict Transformation
(see below) that requires the listener to re-say or paraphrase what they have heard to confirm what
they have heard, as well as to confirm the understanding of all involved.
Collaborative Negotiation: A practice of Conflict Transformation (see below) that aims to

find a solution to a conflict that satisfies both the Positions and the Needs (see below) of all
parties.
Community: A broad term referring to a body of people who live in the same place and who share
a common identity. A community may be united by common interests, common values or
responsibilities, or a feeling of connection between its members.
Conflict: A struggle between people who perceive they have incompatible goals or desires.
Conflict Style: An individual’s preferred method for addressing conflicts. Styles of conflict
transformation include: avoidance, accommodation, compromise, competition, and collaboration.
Conflict Transformation: The theory and practice of addressing conflicts that recognizes that
conflict is a normal part of human experience. The goal of conflict transformation approaches is not
to eliminate conflicts but to turn potentially destructive conflict situations into opportunities for
personal and social growth and for showing respect for diversity.
Culture: The customary beliefs, norms, and traits of a group.
Empathy: The ability to recognize, understand, and share another person’s feelings, even if
someone has not experienced the same situation that has given rise to the other person’s feelings.
Golden Rule: A general rule for behavior stating that a person should treat other people the way
that person would wish to be treated. Different statements of the Golden Rule can be found in
different religious traditions. The Platinum Rule (see below) is a variation on the Golden Rule.
“I” Statement: A communication technique that foregrounds the speaker’s feelings, experiences,
and expectations. “I” statements are contrasted with “You” Statements (see below).
Identity: The set of characteristics that define people as individuals and as members of groups.
The term “identity” can also refer to the ways people affiliate with groups and label aspects of their
experience.
Informing Behaviors: Behaviors that build a cooperative climate and establish trust in a conflict
situation.
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs: A system devised by psychologist Abraham Maslow to identify

and organize the needs that motivate human beings. The hierarchy is presented in the form of a
pyramid in which more basic needs must be met before higher order needs can be addressed.
Mindset: A fixed attitude, disposition, or mood.
179
Needs: The underlying reasons behind our Positions (see below). Why we want the things we
want.
Norm: An accepted standard or a way of behaving or of doing things that most people agree
with.
Opening Behaviors: Behaviors that gather information to help parties in a conflict identify
different parties’ Positions (see below) and Needs (see above).
Paraverbal Communication: The information listeners get from how a person speaks a
message. Types of paraverbal communication include the pitch of someone's voice, their tone of
voice, and their speaking pace.
Perception: The unique way individuals view and interpret the world around them, which is
influenced by previous experiences, beliefs, and motivations.
Perceptual Biases: Shortcuts that people take in organizing information and giving it meaning
based on pre-existing beliefs, expectations, or emotions.
Perceptual Differences: Perceptual differences occur when people are exposed to the same
people, places, objects or experiences and perceive them in different ways.
Perceptual Error: An inaccurate perception of a person, place, object or experience.
Platinum Rule: A general rule for behavior stating that a person should treat other people the way
they wish to be treated. The Platinum Rule differs from the Golden Rule (see above) by focusing
on learning how other people wish to be treated.
Positions: The things parties in a conflict say they prefer or want to satisfy their needs.
Reappraisal: To evaluate or assess someone, something, or a situation again in a different way;

the process of examining a situation or activity again in order to make changes to it, or in order to
change one’s perception of it. With reappraisal a person examines a situation and rethinks the
possible meaning of it. If a person has a different way of thinking about a situation based on
reappraising it, the different thoughts they have might generate different emotions.
Religion: Human beings' relation to what they see as holy, sacred, absolute, or spiritual.
Uniting Behaviors: Behaviors that build and maintain rapport, emphasize common ground, and
help think about conflict as a mutual problem to be solved.
“You” Statement: A communication technique that foregrounds the actions or characteristics of

another person.
180
Tanenbaum’s Transforming Conflict. Experiencing conflict is a natural,
normal, and expected part of our experience as humans living in a diverse world.
Transforming Conflict: Tools for Building Respect in our Diverse World presents a
thematic scope and lesson sequence that teaches respect for difference using tools
for conflict transformation. These tools build social and emotional skills needed by
students growing up in a diverse world. Transforming Conflict’s collaborative and
hands-on instructional practices support engagement with important national and
subject-specific learning standards.
Seven Principles for Inclusive Education

1. Teaching All Students
6. Teaching and Learning About Cultures and Religions
Six Behavorial Learning Outcomes

1. Students understand that there is diversity among people,
including religious diversity.
2. Students share self-knowledge about their personal beliefs.
3. Students demonstrate skills of active listening, respectful

questioning, and showing concern for the feeling of others.
4. Students examine and discuss differences among people with

open minded respect and regard for the dignity of others.
5. Students take the perspective of others as they learn to

recognize and challenge harmful stereotypes.
6. Students demonstrate empathy and compassion for others with

different religious and non-religious beliefs.
For more information, contact Tanenbaum at education@tanenbaum.org or visit www.tanenbaum.org

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Transforming

Conflict Tools for Building Respect

Copyright © 2023 by the Tanenbaum Center for Interreligious Understanding

Printed in the United States of America.

For more information, contact Tanenbaum’s Education program:

An Open Letter to Educators and Community Members 5

About This Curriculum 6

Tanenbaum’s Seven Principles for Inclusive Education 8

Checklist for Inclusive Lessons 9

Tanenbaum’s Six Behavioral Learning Outcomes 10

Tanenbaum’s Peacemakers in Action 12

How to Use This Curriculum 13

Conflict Versus Bullying 16

Unit I: Building Community in Our Classroom 17

Spotlight: Tanenbaum Peacemakers in Action Osnat Aram-Daphna and Najeeba Sirhan 33

Unit II: Understanding Conflict 36

Spotlight: Tanenbaum Peacemaker in Action Rev. Jacky Frits Manuputty 59

Unit III: Transforming Conflict with Self-Understanding 62

Spotlight: Tanenbaum Peacemaker in Action Dishani Jayaweera 82

Unit IV: Transforming Conflict with Constructive Communication 85

Spotlight: Tanenbaum Peacemaker in Action Bishop Ntambo Nkulu Ntanda 113

Unit V: Transforming Conflicts Together 116

Spotlight: Tanenbaum Peacemaker in Action Friar Ivo Markovic 151

Appendix A: Promoting Social and Emotional Learning 155

Appendix B: Common Core ELA-Literacy Standards 161

Appendix C: National Social Studies Themes 162

Appendix D: Seven Principles for Inclusive Education 164

Appendix F: Key Terms Used in the Curriculum 179

Rev. Mark E. Fowler

• Recognize that conflict is a normal part of living in a diverse world.

Transforming Conflict is unique in the landscape of curricula addressing conflict in that it

The pedagogical approach Transforming Conflict takes to teaching conflict transformation is

We at Tanenbaum’s Education program are especially proud of how Transforming Conflict

1. Teaching all Students

2. Exploring Multiple Identities

4. Promoting Social Justice

5. Choosing Appropriate Materials

6. Teaching and Learning about Cultures and Religions

7. Adapting and Integrating Lessons Appropriately

The lesson or activity:

□ Accommodates a variety of learning styles.

□ Can be modified for students with diverse learning needs.

□ Includes partner work or teamwork.

□ Encourages students to make personal connections to the lesson’s content.

□ Uses non-stereotypical images and materials.

□ Helps students recognize stereotypes and encourages them to counter stereotypes in a

1. Explain that diversity (including religious diversity) is a commonplace feature of

2. Share self-knowledge about their personal beliefs.

• Unit I: Osnat Aram-Daphna and Najeeba Sirhan (p. 33)

We welcome educators and students to meet Tanenbaum’s Peacemakers in Action as a way to

Unit Number and Name Unit Theme Essential Skills

II. Lesson Sequence

III. Anchor Lessons

The five Anchor Lessons in this curriculum are:

• Unit One: Our Classroom is a Caring Community

According to the American Psychological Association, bullying is “a form of aggressive behavior in

Bullying behavior can take many forms:

CASEL Core Competencies:

Name: ______ Date:

Name: ______ Date:

Name: ______ Date:

Name: ______ Date:

Name: ______ Date: