1

To my parents, Mr and Mrs Romanus Uzoma Nwaozor, I owe the

woman I have become to you.

To great women whose works, brains and minds have influenced

me; Vivian Uzoma, Chinwe Jaja, Ini Akpan, Ijeoma Osadebe,
Eketi Edima and many others too numerous to mention. Thank
you for sharing your knowledge.

This book is for those who want to be emotionally intelligent in

their dealings with other. Commitment is key to excellence, be
committed to this journey.

2
 AUTHOR’S INFORMATION

IFEOMA UZOMA IS A TEACHER-TRAINER, EDUPRENEUR, A SUCCESS AND CAREER COACH,

AND FINALLY A LECTURER. SHE IS THE LEAD CONSULTANT OF UNIQUE CONSULTS, WHICH
OFFERS SERVICES SUCH AS BUSINESS AND ACADEMIC RESEARCH (FEASIBILITY STUDIES,
PROPOSALS, BUSINESS PLANS, BID, BILL OF QUANTITY, ACADEMIC RESEARCH ETC), DATA
ANALYSIS (SPSS, GIS, EPI INFO), GRANTSMANSHIP, EDITORIAL SERVICES AND GENERAL
CONSULTANCY. AS AN EDUPRENEUR, SHE PARTNERS WITH ORGANIZATIONS, SCHOOLS AND
CHURCHES TO TRAIN PEOPLE, AND ALSO DEVELOPS EDUCATIONAL AND TRAINING
MATERIALS (EBOOKS, CDS, MANUALS, WORKBOOKS, STUDY GUIDES ETC) FOR PEOPLE. THIS
BOOK IS ONE IN HER ENTREPRENEURSHIP SERIES, OTHERS INCLUDE; STOP GIVING EXCUSES
AND AUGUST ENTREPRENEUR. SHE CAN BE REACHED ON THE FOLLOWING:
twitter-@IfeomaUzoma, whatsapp: 08061689668; Email-
www.facebook.com/uniqueconsults
uzomaifeoma20@gmail.com, Ifeoma blogs on www.Ifybeke.wordpress.com

3
January, 2018.

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE HAS BEEN TOTALLY MISUNDERSTOOD BY A LOT OF PEOPLE TO

MEAN FINANCIAL INTELLIGENCE OR BUSINESS SENSE.

WHAT THEN IS EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE?

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE DOES NOT MEAN MERELY “BEING NICE”. AT STRATEGIC

MOMENTS, IT MAY DEMAND NOT “BEING NICE” BUT RATHER BLUNTLY CONFRONTING
SOMEONE WITH AN UNCOMFORTABLE BUT CONSEQUENTIAL TRUTH THEY HAVE BEEN
AVOIDING (HAVE A GLORIOUS YEAR AND STRIVE TO BE EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT).

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (DAY 1 AND 2)

MASTER BODY LANGUAGES (1)

BODY LANGUAGES PROVIDE A GREAT MASS OF INFORMATION ABOUT PEOPLE, THEIR

THOUGHTS AND ATTITUDES. WATCH FOR THIS CUES:

1. CROSSED ARMS AND LEGS SIGNAL RESISTANCE TO YOUR IDEAS. THEY SUGGEST
PHYSICAL BARRIERS.

2. REAL SMILE CRINKLES THE EYES. THE MOUTH CAN LIE BUT THE EYES CANT. REAL
SMILES REACH THE EYES.

3. WHEN SOMEONE COPIES YOUR BODY LANGUAGE, IT’S A GOOD THING. IT SHOWS A
BOND WITH THE OTHER PERSON AND THAT THE PERSON IS RECEPTIVE TO YOUR
MESSAGE.

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (DAY 3)

4
MASTER BODY LANGUAGES (2)

4. POSTURE TELLS THE STORY. MAINTAINING GOOD POSTURE COMMANDS RESPECT

AND PROMOTES ENGAGEMENT WHETHER YOU ARE A LEADER OR NOT.

5. EYES THAT LIE – IF YOU ARE TALKING TO SOMEONE WHOSE STARE ISS MAKING YOU
SQUIRM, ESPECIALLY IF THEY ARE VERY STILL AND UNBLINKING – SOMETHING IS UP
AND THEY MIGHT BE LYING TO YOU.

6. RAISED EYE BROW SIGNAL DISCOMFORT (SURPRISE, WORRY, CONTEPT OR FEAR).

WHEN YOU ARE HAVING A RELAXED CONVERSATION, IT IS HARD TO RAISE YOUR
EYEBROW.

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (DAY 4)

MASTER BODY LANGUAGES (3)

CONFIDENCE SPEAKS

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 7. EXAGGERATED NODDING SIGNALS ANXIETY ABOUT APPROVAL. WHEN YOU ARRE
HAVING A CONVERSATION AND PEOPLE NOD EXCESSIVELY, IT MEANS THEY ARE
WORRIED ABOUT WHAT YOU THINK OF THEM.

8. A CLENCHED JAW, A TIGHTENED NECK OR A FURROWED BROW SIGNALS STRESS. YOU

MIGHT BE DELVING INTO SOMETHING THEY ARE ANXIOUS ABOUT OR THEIR MINDS
MAY BE ELSE WHERE AND THEY ARE FOCUSING ON WHAT IS STRESSING THEM.

TAKEAWAY: EVEN IF YOU CANT READ PEOPLES THOUGHTS, YOU CAN LEARN A LOT FROM
THEIR BODY LANGUAGE (TRAVIS BRADBERRY).

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (DAY 5)

WHAT MAKES YOU SUCCESSFUL?

SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE

1. ARE LONG TERM THINKERS

2. ARE WELL READ
3. ARE ETERNAL OPTIMISTS
4. HAVE OBSESSION ON CREATING VALUE
5. GET BETTER WITH EVERY PASSING DAY
6. EXHIBIT OPERATIONAL EXCELLENCE
7. PAY ATTENTION TO DETAILS
8. HAVE WIT AND HUMILITY
9. HAVE COURAGE OF CONVICTION TO GO ALL IN
10. HAVE LONG TERM GOALS.

TAKEAWAY: ARE YOU CONVINCED ENOUGH ABOUT YOUR MISSION TO SURVIVE THE WORLD
AND ITS NAYSAYERS?

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EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (DAY 6)

BREAK YOUR BAD HABITS

IN ORDER TO BE MORE PRODUCTIVE, YOU MUST SHED THE FOLLOWING BAD HABITS

1. IMPULSIVELY SURFING THE NET

2. PERFECTIONISM
3. UNNECCESSARY MEETINGS
4. RESPONDING TO EMAILS AS THEY COME
5. PUTTING OFF TOUGH TASKS
6. USING YOUR PHONE, TABLET OR COMPUTER IN BED
7. EATING TOO MUCH SUGAR
8. HITTING THE SNOOZE BUTTON

How long do you want to continue with your bad habits?

TAKEAWAY: “BY CONSTANT SELF DISCIPLINE AND SELF CONTROL, YOU CAN DEVELOP
GREATNESS OF CHARACTER”. – GREENVILLE KLEISER

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EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (DAY 7)

YOU CAN BE YOUR OWN BOSS EVEN AS AN EMPLOYEE

BetheBoss –THE ATTITUDE OF AN ENTREPRENEUR

WHAT DOES IT TAKE?

1. AN ENTREPRENEURIAL MINDSET
2. BEEN A TEAM PLAYER
3. RESEARCH
4. WILLINGNESS TO TRY NEW APPROACHES
5. BEING PASSIONATE ABOUT YOUR MISSION
6. CREATE A COMPELLING VISSION AND FUN CULTURE
7. CLEARLY “DEFINE THE WIN” AND DEVELOP A PLAN TO GET THERE
8. STAY FOCUSED ON THE “WIN”
9. PROTECT YOUR IDEA
10. RECOGNIZE THE RISKS AND CHOOSE A PATH

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TAKEAWAY: AS A PROFFESSIONAL, LEARN TO EMBRACE THE ENTREPRENEURRIAL MINDSET.
BETHEBOSS.

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (DAY 8)

BUILD AN AUDIENCE, NOT A PRODUCT

1. THE ABSOLUTE WAY TO START A BUSINESS IS NOT BY LAUNCHING A PRODUCT, BUT

BY CREATING A SYSTEM TO ATTRACT AND BUILD AUDIENCE (JOE PULIZZI).

2. BYFOCUSING ON BUILDING AN AUDIENCE FIRST AND DEFINING PRODUCTS AND

SERVICES SECOND, AN ENTREPRENUER CAN CHANGE THE RULES OF THE GAME AND
SIGNIFICANTLY INCREASE FINANCIAL AND PERSONAL SUCCESS.

BE EXCEPTIONAL

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EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (DAY 9)

BUILD AN AUDIENCE, NOT A PRODUCT (2)

1. ONCE A LOYAL AUDIENCE IS BUILT, ONE THAT LOVES YOU AND THE INFORMATION
YOU SEND, YOU CAN MOST LIKELY, SELL TO YOUR AUDIENCE ANYTHING YOU WANT.
2. BENEFITS OF THE AUDIENCE FIRST STRATEGY INCLUDE:
• ACCELERATED GROWTH DUE TO PRE-CUSTOMER DATABASE
• NO NEED TO PIVOT LATER
• LESS STARTUP CAPITAL NEEDED
• LOW MARKETING COSTS

YOU WOULD ALWAYS BE DIFFERENT

TAKEAWAY: AN AUDIENCE FIRST APPROACH IS THE ONE METHOD THAT IF EXECUTED

PROPERLY WORKS (JOE PULIZZI).

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (DAY 10)

CHOOSE TO BE THE BOSS WHEREVER YOU WORK (1)

THAT’S RIGHT, EVEN IF YOU HAVE A BOSS, YOU CAN AND SHOULD BE IN CHARGE OF YOUR
CAREER DESTINY. HOW?

1. TAKE OWNERSHIP OF YOUR PERFORMANCE - THE SKILLS, PREPARATION AND

LEADERSHIP THAT GO ALONG WITH IT (BOB NARDELLI).
2. CHALLENGE YOURSELF NOT BECAUSE SOMEONE IS TELLING YOU TO DO SO BUT
BECAUSE YOU WANT TO
3. BE RESPONSIBLE FOR GETTING THE JOB DONE

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CHOOSE TO BE THE LOYAL BOSS EMPLOYEE

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (DAY 11)

CHOOSE TO BE THE BOSS WHEREVER YOU WORK (2)

4. TAKE INITIATIVE TO CONTINUALLY ACQUIRE KNOWLEDGE NEEDED FOR SUCCESS

5. REPLACE THE WORDS “WORK-LIFE BALANCE” WITH THE WORDS “WORK-LIFE
CHOICE”.
6. PREPARE FOR UNCERTAINTY
7. FOCUS IN ON YOUR DIFFERENTIATORS. EVEN YOUR PERSONALITY CAN BE A
DIFFERENTIATOR (WHAT MAKES YOU EXCEPTIONAL?).

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TAKEAWAY: BE WILLING TO PUT IN TIME AND EFFORT IN WHATEVER YOU DO. BE
OUTSTANDING.

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (DAY 12)

COPING WITH “NOT BEING LIKED” BY EVERYONE

LEADERSHIP POSITION COMES WITH ISSUES ESPECIALLY FOR WOMEN, HOW CAN WE COPE?

1. DON’T SHY AWAY FROM LEADERSHIP POSITION (NOBODY LIKES FEMALE BOSSES)
2. GO INTO THE ACTIVE RISK MANAGEMENT MODE (IDENTIFY THE UPSIDE AND THE
DOWNSIDE, THEN WORK TO REDUCE RISK)
3. FORGET ABOUT “US” AND WORK ON “ME”
4. WORK WITH TEAMS THAT BRING OUT THE BEST IN YOU
5. BE HUMILIATION AND FAILURE-AVERSE
6. BE READY TO TAKE TOUGH DECISIONS LIKE BREAKING RELATIONSHIPS
7. BE READY TO BE EXCLUDED FROM ACTIVITIES SO DEVELOP A THICK SHELL.

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TAKEAWAY: LEADERSHIP IS AN OPPORTUNITY TO HELP OTHERS (ESPECIALLY OTHER
WOMEN) REACH THEIR GOALS (SALLIE KRAWCHECK).

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (DAY 13)

BE NICE BUT MASTER CONFLICTS

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FOR A NICE PERSON, CONFLICTS CAN BE A CHALLENGE. HOW YOU HANDLE CONFLICT CAN
MAKE OR MAR YOUR CAREER. HOW CAN WE MASTER CONFLICTS?

1. CONSIDER THE REPERCUSSIONS OF SILENCE

2. SAY “AND” INSTEAD OF “BUT” E.G I SEE YOU WANT YOU WANT TO USE MONEY FOR
MARKETING, AND I THINK WE NEED TO HIRE NEW PEOPLE. THE DIFFERENCE IS
SUBTLE.
3. DON’T SPEAK IN ABSOLUTES (“YOU ALWAYS” OR “YOU NEVER”.) STICK TO THE FACTS
E.G “IT SEEMS THAT YOU DO THIS OFTEN”.
4. ASK GOOD QUESTIONS UNTIL YOU GET TO THE HEART OF THE MATTER. IT HELPS YOU
UNDERSTAND MOTIVE.
5. WHEN YOU CHALLENGE, OFFER SOLUTIONS.
6. USE HYPOTHETICALS.

TAKEAWAY: MASTERING CONFLICT REQUIRE EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE. EMOTIONALLY

INTELLIGENT PEOPLE KNOW HOW TO CRAFT THEIR MESSAGE IN CONFLICTS (TRAVIS
BRADBERRY).

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (DAY 14)

CRITICAL THINGS SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE DO

WHEN YOU ARE CLOSE TO SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE, YOU GET RICH INFORMATION FROM THEM
ABOUT WHAT MAKES THEM TICK. THEY INCLUDE:

14
 1. THEY FOCUS ON MINUTES NOT HOURS (KEVIN KRUSE)
2. THEY FOCUS ON ONLY ONE THING “THEIR MOST IMPORTANT TASK”
3. THEY DON’T USE TO-DO LISTS, THEY SCHEDULE EVERYTHING ON THE CALENDAR
4. THEY BEAT PROCASTINATION WITH TIME TRAVEL (THEY TRY TO PREDICT THE
FUTURE)
5. THEY MAKE IT HOME FOR DINNER BECAUSE THERE WILL ALWAYS BE MORE TO DO
(ANDY GROVE). THEY KNOW WHAT THEY VALUE.

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (DAY 15)

CRITICAL THINGS SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE DO (2)

15
 6. THEY USE A NOTEBOOK WHEREVER THEY GO (RICHARD BRANSON)
7. THEY PROCESS EMAILS ONLY A FEW TIMES A DAY
8. THEY AVOID MEETINGS AT ALL COST, UNLESS SOMEONE IS WRITING A CHECK (MARK
CUBAN)
9. THEY SAY “NO” TO ALMOST EVERYTHING. THEY DON’T GIVE OUT THEIR TIME
ANYHOW. (WARREN BUFFET).
10. THEY FOLLOW THE 80/20 RULE (CARRY OUT THE MOST IMPORTANT ACTIVITIES AND
IGNORE THE REST)

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (DAY 16)

CRITICAL THINGS SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE DO (3)

11. THEY DELEGATE ALMOST EVERYTHING.

12. THEY TOUCH THINGS ONLY ONCE. THEY DEAL WITH THINGS RIGHT AWAY.
13. THEY PRACTICE A CONSISTENT MORNING ROUTINE (IT COULD BE PRRAYER,
READING, EXERCISE, LIGHT BREAKFAST, MEDITATION, WRITING ETC)
14. ENERGY IS EVERYTHING. HIGHLY SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE DON’T SKIP MEALS, SLEEP OR
BREAKS. THEY DO ANYTHING TO INCREASE PRODUCTIVITY.

TAKEAWAY: YOU MIGHT NOT BE AN ENTREPRENUER OR A BILLIONAIRE BUT THEIR SECRETS

MIGHT HELP YOU GET MORE DONE IN LESS TIME (KEVIN KRUSE AAND TRAVIS BRADBERRY).

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EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (DAY 17)

CURIOUS THINGS THAT WILL KILL YOUR CAREER

1. OVER-PROMISING AND UNDER-DELIVERING

2. COMPLACENCY
3. FEAR OF CHANGE
4. HAVING AN INFLATABLE EGO
5. LOSING SIGHT OF THE BIG PICTURE
6. NEGATIVITY
7. LOW EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
8. SUCKING UP TO YOUR BOSS
9. PLAYING POLITICS
10. LACK OF AUTHENTICITY

TAKEAWAY: A LOT OF PEOPLE MAKE THE MISTAKE OF THINKING THEY CAN ONLYY DAMAGE
THEIR CAREERS BY MAKING A HUGE MISSTEP, BUT THE REALITY IS THAT IT IS NOT USUALLY
DRAMATIC (BRADBERRY AND GREAVES).

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (DAY 18)

MASTER YOUR EMOTIONAL TERRITORY

HOW CAN I MASTER MY EMOTIONAL TERRITORY?

1. DISCOVER WHAT MAKES YOU ANGRY

2. UNDERSTAND YOUR “HOT BUTTONS

3. UNDERSTAND YOUR EMOTIONAL MAP (HAVE A VISUAL OF YOUR EMOTIONAL

JOURNEY)

4. HAVE AN AWARENESS OF THE FIVE UNIVERSAL EMOTIONS – ANGER, ENJOYMENT,

DISGUST, SADNESS, AND FEAR.

5. DISCOVER WHAT TRIGGERS A GIVEN EMOTION IN YOU

17
TAKEWAY: HOW WELL DO YOU UNDERSTAND YOUR OWN PARTICULAR “HOT BUTTONS” –
SITUATIONS WHICH TRIGGER SPECIFIC FEELINGS? TO BE EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT, WE
NEED TO UNDERSTAND WHAT OUR EMOTIONS LOOK LIKE IN ACTION AND WHAT PROVOKES
EACH FEELING (DANIEL GOLEMAN).

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (DAY 19)

GETTING RICH SHOULD NOT BE YOUR ONLY GOAL (1)

IF YOUR ONLY GOALS ARE MONEY-CENTRIC AND FINANCIAL GAIN IS ALL YOU EVER FOCUS
ON SOMEWHERE ALONG THE WAY YOU MAY LOSE YOUR SOUL TO MARKETING THAT IS
EITHER DECEPTIVE OR NOT CONGRUENT WITH YOUR CORE VALUES IN ORDER TO MEET
LOFTY SALES GOALS.

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (DAY 20)

GETTING RICH SHOULD NOT BE YOUR ONLY GOAL (2)

1. SIMPLY MAKING MONEY SHOULD NEVER BE THE EXCLUSIVE GOAL OF ANY BUSINESS.
FOCUSING ON INCREASING REVENUE WITHOUT CONCERN FOR BRAND AND
CORPORATE VISION IS A COMMON MISTAKE BUDDING ENTREPRENEURS END UP
MAKING WHEN THEIR INITIAL SUCCESS ATTRACTS INVESTORS WHO MAY OFFER
ENTICING SUMS OF CASH IN EXCHANGE FOR THEIR SAY IN HOW YOU MARKET YOUR
BUSINESS.

2. AS YOUR BUSINESS GROWS, WITHOUT REMEMBERING YOUR PURPOSE AND

SUPPORTIVE GOALS IS STILL EASY TO BECOME OVERLY EXCITED ABOUT THE MONEY
COMING IN AND HARD TO RESIST THE TEMPTATION TO EXPAND TOO QUICKLY
(WHICH IS A COMMON DETRIMENT TO MANY BUSINESS OWNERS.)

TAKEAWAY: THE SAYING “PRIDE COMES BEFORE A FALL” HOLDS TRUE WHEN IT COMES TO
MAKING BUSINESS DECISIONS – BEING TOO FULL OF YOUR OWN SUCCESSES CAN LEAD YOU
TO A PATH OF TOO RAPID EXPANSION THAT IS NOT SUSTAINABLE IN THE LONG RUN (LAHLE
WOLFE).

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (DAY 21)

WHAT IS YOUR PASSION? (1)

1. THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU LIKE TO DO AND WHAT YOU ARE GOOD AT DOING - NOT
JUST THE POTENTIAL INCOME. WHAT DO YOU HOPE TO GET OUT OF THE BUSINESS
BESIDES INCOME? IF YOU ANSWER, "NOTHING," YOU MAY NOT MAKE IT AS AN
ENTREPRENEUR NO MATTER HOW GOOD YOUR IDEA IS.
2. STARTING, GROWING AND RUNNING A BUSINESS CAN BE A THANKLESS AND
EXHAUSTING PROCESS, BUT IT CAN ALSO BE VERY REWARDING IN MANY WAYS EVEN
IF YOU DON'T MAKE IT RICH OVERNIGHT.
3. SO WHEN THE MONEY IS NOT (YET) POURING IN, WILL YOU GET DISCOURAGED OR
KEEP PRESSING FORWARD? IF YOU ARE PASSIONATE ABOUT MORE THAN SIMPLY
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 MAKING MONEY, YOU ARE MORE LIKELY TO BE WILLING TO CONTINUE MAKING
NECESSARY SACRIFICES UNTIL THE BIG BUCKS DO START ROLLING IN.

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (DAY 22)

WHAT IS YOUR PASSION? (2)

1. SUCCESSFUL ENTREPRENEURS ARE RARELY MOTIVATED SOLELY BY MONEY,

SUCCESSFUL ENTREPRENEURS ACHIEVE WEALTH BECAUSE THEY BELIEVE IN WHAT
THEY ARE DOING AND INJECT PERSONAL CORE VALUES INTO HOW THEY BUILD A
BUSINESS: WEALTH IS THEIR REWARD; NOT THEIR GOD.
2. HAVING A TRUE SENSE OF PRIDE AND BELIEF IN YOUR OWN COMPANY AND
PRODUCTS WILL CONVEY IN EVERYTHING YOU DO. YOUR PASSION AND CONFIDENCE
WILL GET OTHER PEOPLE - CUSTOMERS AND INVESTORS - EXCITED ABOUT THE
BUSINESS AND YOU WILL HAVE AN EASIER TIME ESTABLISHING YOUR BUSINESS'
CREDIBILITY.
3. MOST PEOPLE QUIT THEIR JOBS BECAUSE THEY DON'T LIKE WHAT THEY ARE DOING
AND GO ON TO MORE REWARDING JOBS. IF YOU START A BUSINESS DOING
SOMETHING YOU HATE YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BE ANY HAPPIER ANSWERING
CUSTOMER EMAILS THAN YOU ARE WORKING FOR A NAGGING CORPORATE BOSS
DURING THE DAY.

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EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (DAY 23)

WHAT IS YOUR PASSION? (3)

1. BUSINESS OWNERS THAT ARE EXCLUSIVELY MOTIVATED BY MONEY OFTEN HAVE

UNREASONABLE EXPECTATIONS OF GETTING RICH QUICK. WHEN MONETARY GOALS
ARE YOUR ONLY IMPORTANT GOALS, YOU WILL MISS OUT ON THE MANY OTHER
REWARDS OF BEING SELF-EMPLOYED INCLUDING SENSE OF ACCOMPLISHMENT,
PURPOSE, AND THE REWARDS OF KNOWING YOU ARE DOING SOMETHING
WORTHWHILE WITH YOUR LIFE.
2. IF YOUR ONLY GOAL IS TO MAKE AS MUCH MONEY OFF OTHER PEOPLE AS FAST AS
YOU CAN, EVENTUALLY YOU WILL MAKE BUSINESS DECISIONS FOR THE WRONG
REASONS AND ULTIMATELY HURT YOUR REPUTATION AND GROWTH POTENTIAL.
20
 3. IF YOUR MOTIVATION IS TO START A BUSINESS DOING SOMETHING YOU ARE
PASSIONATE ABOUT WITH THE GOAL OF TURNING INTO A FULL-TIME LIVING, YOU
ARE LIKELY TO SUFFER FROM FEWER EMOTIONAL SETBACKS AND ENTREPRENEUR
BURNOUT WHEN YOU FIND OUT IT TAKES TIME TO BUILD INDEPENDENT WEALTH.
YOU WILL BE MORE PATIENT WITH YOURSELF AND YOUR BUSINESS AS IT GROWS,
AND, WILL MAKE BETTER BUSINESS DECISIONS.

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (DAY 24)

DISCOVER YOURSELF (THE JOHARI WINDOW) (1)

THE JOHARI WINDOW IS AN APPROACH TO THE ANALYSIS OF INTERPERSONAL BEHAVIOUR
DEVELOPED BY JOSEPH LUFF AND HARRY INGHAM. THE WINDOW SHOWS THE CHARACTER
OF PEOPLE IN FOUR WINDOWS. DISCOVER WHO YOU ARE FROM THESE;

1. OPEN SELF (SELF AWARENESS): YOU KNOW ABOUT YOURSELF AND ABOUT NO OTHER
PERSON. THERE IS GENERAL OPENNESS AND COMPATIBILITY AND LITTLE REASON TO
21
 BE DEFENSIVE. THIS IS A PART OF YOURSELF YOU ARE READY TO SHARE WITH
OTHERS AND DISCUSS OPENLY (WHAT I/YOU SEE IN ME).

2. HIDDEN SELF (SECRETIVE SELF): YOU UNDERSTAND YOURSELF AND DO NOT KNOW
ABOUT THE OTHER PERSON. YOU HIDE YOUR TRUE FEELINGS OR ATTITUDE AND
REFUSE TO OPEN UP TO OTHER PEOPLE. YOU REMAIN HIDDEN FROM OTHER PEOPLE
BECAUSE OF FEAR OF HOW THE OTHER PERSON MIGHT REACT. THES ARE PARTS OF
URSELVES WE REFUSE TO DISCUSS WITH OTHERS.

(TO BE CONTINUED TOMMORROW)

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (DAY 25)

DISCOVER YOURSELF (THE JOHARI WINDOW) (2)

1. BLIND SELF (NAÏVE SELF: YOU DO NOT KNOW ABOUT YOURSELF BUT YOU
UNDERSTAND OTHER PEOPLE, UNINTENTIONALLY IRRITATING THEM. PEOPLE CAN
TELL YOU THINGS BUT THEY MAY BE FEARFUL OF HURTING YOUR FEELINGS. FOR
EXAMPLE, A PERSON WHO CONSIDERS THEMSELVES AS INTELLIGENT MAY BE
VIEWED AS ARROGANT AND IGNORANT BY OTHERS.

2. UNDISCOVERED SELF (MYSTERIOUS SELF): YOU DO NOT KNOW ABOUT YOURSELF

AND DO NOT KNOW ABOUT OTHERS. IT IS THAT PART WHICH NEITHER WE NOR
OTHERS SEE.

22
 TAKEAWAY: WHO ARE YOU? (JOY .N. UGWU)

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (DAY 26)

WHY DO GOOD PEOPLE UNDER-PERFORM?

GOOD PEOPLE DON’T UNDERPERFORM DUE TO THE WRONG PERSONALITY, THE WRONG
BEHAVIOURS OR SOME QUIXOTIC DEFINITION OF CULTURE FIT OR LACK OF INTELLIGENCE
OR WEAK TEAM OR TECHNICAL SKILLS. THEY UNDERPERFORM FOR ONE OR MORE OF THE
FOLLOWING REASONS:

• THEY’RE NOT MOTIVATED TO DO THE ACTUAL WORK REQUIRED SINCE THE JOB
THEY’RE BEING ASKED TO PERFORM AFTER BEING HIRED WAS ILL-DEFINED BEFORE
THEY WERE HIRED.
• BEING COMPETENT TO DO SOMETHING IS NOT THE SAME AS BEING MOTIVATED TO
DO IT.
• BEING MOTIVATED TO GET A JOB IS NOT THE SAME AS BEING MOTIVATED TO DO THE
JOB.
• THE INTERVIEW FOCUSED ON ASSESSING COMPETENCIES, BEHAVIOURS AND DEPTH
OF SKILLS THAT ONLY WEAKLY MAP TO THE ACTUAL WORK REQUIRED TO BE DONE.
• THE HIRING MANAGER AND CANDIDATE DON’T WORK TOO WELL TOGETHER.

TAKEAWAY: WHILE ACTUAL CULTURAL FIT IS VERY IMPORTANT, FEW MANAGERS OR

RECRUITERS UNDERSTAND WHAT THIS MEANS AND HOW TO MEASURE IT PROPERLY (LOU
ADLER).

23
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (DAY 27)

HOW BEING BUSY MAKES YOU UNPRODUCTIVE (1)

BEING BUSY HAS SOMEHOW BECOME A BADGE OF HONOUR. THE PREVAILING NOTION IS
THAT IF YOU AREN’T SUPER BUSY, YOU AREN’T IMPORTANT OR HARD WORKING. THE TRUTH
IS, BUSYNESS MAKES YOU LESS PRODUCTIVE.

DAVID MEYER FROM THE UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN PUBLISHED A STUDY RECENTLY THAT
SHOWED THAT SWITCHING WHAT YOU’RE DOING MID-TASK INCREASES THE TIME IT TAKES
YOU TO FINISH BOTH TASKS BY 25%. “MULTITASKING IS GOING TO SLOW YOU DOWN,
INCREASING THE CHANCES OF MISTAKES,” MEYER SAID. “DISRUPTIONS AND INTERRUPTIONS
ARE A BAD DEAL FROM THE STANDPOINT OF OUR ABILITY TO PROCESS INFORMATION.”

MICROSOFT DECIDED TO STUDY THIS PHENOMENON IN THEIR WORKERS AND FOUND THAT IT
TOOK PEOPLE AN AVERAGE OF 15 MINUTES TO RETURN TO THEIR IMPORTANT PROJECTS
(SUCH AS WRITING REPORTS OR COMPUTER CODE) EVERY TIME THEY WERE INTERRUPTED
BY E-MAILS, PHONE CALLS, OR OTHER MESSAGES. THEY DIDN’T SPEND THE 15 MINUTES ON
THE INTERRUPTING MESSAGES, EITHER; THE INTERRUPTIONS LED THEM TO STRAY TO OTHER
ACTIVITIES, SUCH AS SURFING THE WEB FOR PLEASURE.

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (DAY 28)

HOW BEING BUSY MAKES YOU UNPRODUCTIVE

BEYOND INTERRUPTIONS, BUSYNESS REDUCES PRODUCTIVITY BECAUSE THERE’S A

BOTTLENECK IN THE BRAIN THAT PREVENTS US FROM CONCENTRATING ON TWO THINGS AT
ONCE. WHEN YOU TRY TO DO TWO THINGS AT ONCE, YOUR BRAIN LACKS THE CAPACITY TO
PERFORM BOTH TASKS SUCCESSFULLY.

WE’RE SO ENAMORED WITH MULTITASKING THAT WE THINK WE’RE GETTING MORE DONE,
EVEN THOUGH OUR BRAINS AREN’T PHYSICALLY CAPABLE OF THIS. REGARDLESS OF WHAT
WE MIGHT THINK, WE ARE MOST PRODUCTIVE WHEN WE MANAGE OUR SCHEDULES ENOUGH

24
TO ENSURE THAT WE CAN FOCUS EFFECTIVELY ON THE TASK AT HAND (TRAVIS
BRADBERRY).

TO BE PRODUCTIVE, FOCUS ON A TASK AT A TIME.

TAKEAWAY: “BEWARE THE BARRENNESS OF A BUSY LIFE.” -SOCRATES

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (DAY 29)

SIMPLE HABITS OF THE RICH AND FAMOUS

NOBODY WANTS TO BE BROKE OR POOR, HOWEVER THERE IS A PRICE TO PAY TO BECOME

AND STAY RICH. LEARN FROM THIS IF YOU HAVE HOPES OF WALKING IN THE SHOES OF THE
RICH AND FAMOUS SOMEDAY.

1. THE RICH ANND FAMOUS HARDLY WATCH TV: EVEN IF THEY DO, IT WOULD BE FOR
AN HOUR AND THEY SPEND IT WATCHING PROGRAMMES ABOUT HOW TO DOUBLE
THEIR MONEY.

2. THEY GO OVER THEIR LIFE GOALS DAILY: IT HELPS THEM KEEP FOCUSED IN THE
LONG-HAUL DESPITE LIFE CHALLENGES.
25
 3. THEY LISTEN TO AUDIOBOOKS: SINCE THEY REALIZE THAT BOOKS ARE FOR PEOPLE
WHO ARE NOT ON THE MOVE. THEY ALSO INVEST IN SELF IMPROVEMENT BOOKS.

4. THEY WORK OUT MORE THAN THE AVERAGE GUY: THEY UNDERSTAND THAT A FIT
BODY AND A FIT MIND LEADS TO A FITTER BANK ACCOUNT.

5. THEY DON’T GET MUCH SLEEP: FOR EXAMPLE, DONALD TRUMP REPORTEDLY SLEEPS
ONLY THREE HOURS A DAY TO STAY AHEAD OF THE PACK.

TAKEAWAY: THE PERKS OF LIVING THE RICH LIFE ARE TOO TEMPTING, BUT THERE ARE
SACRIFICES INVOLVED – ANONYMOUS

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (DAY 30)

HABITS OF HIGHLY EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT PEOPLE

1. PERSONAL COMPETENCE (SELF AWARENESS, SELF MANAGEMENT)

2. SOCIAL COMPETENCE (SOCIAL AWARENESS, RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT)

3. THEY ARE RELENTLESSLY POSITIVE

4. THEY HAVE A ROBUST EMOTIONAL VOCABULARY

5. THEY ARE ASSERTIVE

6. THEY ARE CURIOUS ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE

26
 7. THEY FORGIVE, BUT THEY DON’T FORGET

8. THEY WONT LET ANYONE LIMIT THEIR JOY

9. THEY MAKE THINGS FUN

10. THEY ARE DIFFICULT TO OFFEND

11. THEY QUASH NEGATIVE SELF TALK

AS WE END THIS 30 DAY JOURNEY, I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
INFLUNCES THE WAY WE MANAGE BEHAVIOUR, NAVIGATE SOCIAL COMPLEXITIES, MAKE
PERSONAL DECISIONS AND ACHIEVE POSITIVE RESULTS. AS YOU TRAIN YOUR BRAIN TO
PRACTICE EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE, YOUR BRAIN DEVELOPS A WAY TO MAKE THEM INTO
HABITS AND OLD HABITS DIE OFF. GO AND BE EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT.

BONUS TIP FOR ALL

UNIQUE HABITS OF LIKEABLE PEOPLE

Too many people succumb to the misconception that being likeable is natural, for the lucky,
the good looking, the social and the talented. Key behaviours of emotionally intelligent
people that make them likeable are:

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 1. THEY ARE GENUINE AND COMFORTABLE IN THEIR OWN SKIN.
2. THEY ASK THOUGHTFUL QUESTIONS
3. THEY HAVE OPEN MINDS AND DO NOT PASS JUDGEMENTS.
4. THEY DON’T SEEK ATTENTION
5. THEY ARE CONSISTENT AND RELIABLE (THEIR MOOD DOES NOT AFFECT HOW THEY
TREAT PEOPLE).
6. THEY USE POSITIVE BODY LANGUAGES E.G ENTHUSIASTIC TONES. EYE CONTACT ETC
7. THEY LEAVE A STRONG FIRST IMPRESSION.
8. THEY GREET PEOPLE BY NAME.
9. THEY SMILE
10. THEY KNOW WHO TO TOUCH (AND THEY TOUCH THEM). A SIMPLE TOUCH ON THE
SHOULDER, A HUG, A FRIENDLY HANDSHAKE IS ALL IT TAKES.
11. THEY BALANCE PASSION AND FUN.

TAKEAWAY: LIKEABLE PEOPLE ARE INVALUABLE AND UNIQUE. THEY NETWORK WITH EASE,
PROMOTE HARMONY IN WORKPLACE, BRING OUT THE BEST IN EVERYONE AROUND THEM,
AND GENERALLY SEEM TO HAVE MORE FUN.

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Copyright © 2018 by IFEOMA UZOMA

Cover design, Typesetting & formatting by

Unique Consults,
No 15, Michael
Michael Abraham Street, Uyo, Akwa Ibom Nigeria.
@UniqueConsults, +234 806 1689 668 www.ifybeke.wordpress.com

Edited by Unique Consults

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