1

Josette Rader Heritage Essay

I was adopted by an Irish family when I was 6. I did not know that I was adopted until,

around 4 years later, I saw a family photo and realized I was quite a bit darker in skin tone and

eye color than the entire family. I asked my adoptive father about it and he admitted that he

was not my biological dad. Months after that conversation, interactions with the family started

making more sense. Things like my sister getting more food than me at meals, better quality and

higher quantity of presents at Christmas, why she and my 34 cousins all had birthday parties but

I didn’t. It had never occurred to me that they treated me differently not because I was

possessed by a demon (that is a whole other fun story about my grandmother that doesn’t

really apply here), but because I was a brownish beacon constantly reminding them I was not

part of the family. Later that year I was unadopted, or “rehomed” as it is called now, to an

elderly couple.

In college I managed to track down a copy of my birth certificate with my biological

father’s name on it, and find his work information. I found out through contacting him, and later

confirmed through DNA testing, that I am primarily of Mediterranean and Irish descent.

Ironically, I later got into contact with my sister from my adoptive family who had also done the

DNA test. She gleefully informed me that the family that had been so proud of their Irish

heritage and spurned me for not being part of that heritage, were of primarily German ancestry

and only 3% Irish, where I am 58% Irish with living cousins currently in Dublin, (this according to

my 23andMe DNA profile and my researched family tree).

Today I identify with aspects of my French, Italian and Irish heritage, embracing all three.

My name, Josette, is in recognition of my French heritage. I know from conversations with my

father and his mother, that he was born in the US but his French mother moved back to France
2
Josette Rader Heritage Essay
and his Mediterranean father never left Italy. So neither of those heritages truly emigrated from

their home countries. My father grew up American and lives as part of the Hispanic community

with his Latina wife and my two half-siblings. From the historical podcasts I’ve listened to like

The Dollop episode 546 - The Greek Town Riot and 106 – The Fenian Raids, as well as my general

understanding of racism in America, I imagine my grandfather and grandmother chose not to

immigrate to the US and face living as a seemingly biracial couple.

Since my father’s wife and kids identify primarily as Latinx, they don’t do anything that

speaks to our Italian or French heritage. However, since meeting my brother Maximo when I

was 17 and he was 10, we have bonded over many things, one of which is learning and speaking

Italian and French together. I wanted to learn Spanish as well, since he and his family speak it so

often, but I harbor just a little resentment toward my stepmother who enjoys forgetting to

invite me to important family events like my only brother’s high school and college graduations.

I don’t drink typically celebrate St. Patrick’s day because I am not a huge fan of celebrating the

expulsion of an entire religion from their country, in this case, the Druids. I have noticed my

natural diet tends toward Mediterranean dishes and pastas, so I try to look up recipes and get a

taste of them. My husband and I have agreed to visit Nice, Ireland, Italy and Greece after I finish

school. We hope to do a European tour of the places my family hail from and get a feel for the

cultures rooted there.

Over time people have become more accepting of the Irish, even the Catholic ones,

though I suspect this was more in the face of increasing numbers of darker skinned immigrants

rather than tolerance. Even Italians have seen a change in treatment for the better. I have

noticed, however, a huge difference between how people treat myself and my brother, who
3
Josette Rader Heritage Essay
both currently present white, and my sister and my younger self, who present brown. As a

young teenager, I was regularly called Hispanic slurs by my schoolmates and I noticed as I

entered college and spent less time outdoors, my skin lightened, and my number of white

suitors increased, something my sister has not experienced. My sister, father and stepmother

cannot go to restaurants with myself and my brother without people asking them how we are

related, then disbelieving them when they are told. I acknowledge that it is much easier to

navigate society presenting as white like Max and I do, than it is to live with dark skin as the rest

of our family does.

When I first learned of my heritage, I had a friend who saw my excitement and bought

me a book called How to be Parisian Wherever You Are: Love, Style, and Bad Habits by Anne

Berest, Audrey Diwan, Caroline De Maigret, and Sophie Mas. To this day that book delights me

and I still pick it up from time to time and try to implement aspects of being a Parisienne into

my life. Of course practicing Italian and French make me feel more connected to the cultures. I

hope to learn Irish Celtic as well but it is HARD.