Some dude from yt:

Dickson
2 hours ago
These are some possible red flags I've noticed in certain women for a while now. If
you're looking for a good partner for a stable, healthy relationship filled with
peace of mind or just curious, this could be worth a read:

1. Long nails

2. Fake hair (~long, bright colored)

3. Makeup (mostly heavy makeup)

4. Provocative clothing

5. Big earrings

6. Very active on social media (attention seeking content; thirst trap antics,
etc.)

7. Questionable.. questions (e.g. "Babe, would you date me if I were a worm", "babe
do you think I'm pretty"..)

8. Tattoos/piercings (especially in weird places)

9. Most/all of her friends are male.

10. Promiscuous or Using se>< as a proxy for feeling loved and adored (this can be
especially true for people who struggle with attachment issues/daddy issues)

11. S.I.G.N language (Shaming, Insult, Guilting & Never being wrong)

12. Herd mentality/No sign of individualism (follows beauty standards, fashion

trends, body ideals, bad friends or other trends without questioning or reflecting
on their reason[s] for doing so) [often correlates with No. 2, 3 & 4]

13. Spoilt brat-like/elitist behaviour (e.g. people who refer to themselves as "bad
b*tches", claim to have "very high standards" or are "high maintenance" ) [often
correlates with No. 1, 2, 3, 4 & 5]

14. Materialistic [often correlates with No. 12 & 13]

15. Their actions don't follow their words (cognitive dissonance)

16. No sense of boundaries

17. Uses past events or personal information you gave when you 'opened up' to them,
as ammunition against you during fights or quarrels.

18. Clingy, jealous or possessive (e.g. not being allowed to have any female
friends)

19. Frequent quarrels over trivial things--it seems some people think toxicity
makes relationships more 'fun or exciting' (or even straight up admit they enjoy
toxicity in relationships)
20. Habit of lying (shouldn't be ignored [along with No. 7, 14 & 16] as it could
escalate over time [snowball effect] )

21. Has a tiny, little girl/baby-like voice (possibly due to trauma or abuse at a
young age [Reference: Dr. Drew Pinsky - Loveline] )

22. Expects you to 'mind-read' their thoughts and/or 'hints'-- "Some women
absolutely do this. In fact, some believe that men should be able to read their
minds and then use the fact that men can't read their minds as an excuse to accuse
the men of not loving them enough.

Not very many women do this, however. If you are in a relationship with a woman who
does this, and you don't like it, break it off. Be sure, however, that you are not
contributing to her bad behavior by attempting to anticipate her needs and doing
things for her to prove your love. In other words, don't attempt to appear as if
you can read her mind." - Alison Bennett (Quora; Do women expect men to be mind-
readers?)

*Their mentality of dependence and expectations is so high they use emotions to

smoke screen this shameful behaviour. [Shouldn't be ignored. Could correlate with
No. 19]

23. Sh*t Tests-- "used to 'determine your frame.' Frame is a concept which
essentially means 'composure and self-control.� (shouldn't be ignored; usually
continues indefinitely, may escalate over time [Often correlates with No. 11, 16 &
19. Possibly with No. 7 & 17] )

24. Ultimatums (could correlate with No. 13, 16 & 18)

25. Can't/doesn't take 'No' for an answer (Strongly correlates with No. 16,
possibly with No. 11 & 18 [Shouldn't be ignored; possible sign of an abusive
person, may lead to tantrums, physical assault or other 'crazy' behaviours] )

26. Comes from a broken/toxic/abusive home and/or lacks (proper) parental

figure(s). (Often correlates with No. 4, 6, 8, 10, 16, 19, 20 [compulsive or
pathological lying] & 21)

27. They're often passive aggressive (Could correlate with No. 22. Possibly with
No. 7, 11, 19 & 25)

28. Bisexual ("They have a propensity to get bored with whichever gender they're
dating and move on to the next.", "People with loose sexual boundaries like
bisexuality, polyamory & pansexuality- sexualities where they can't really declare
a major or stick to a specific type tend to be trauma survivors*." [*May correlate
with No. 26] )

29. Exhibits 'infantile/neotenic' behaviours when in need of aid (e.g. using a

childlike voice* and speech pattern, acting "cute", naive; sometimes with a
'sensual' undertone - often used to avoid accountability, responsibility or get
their way) [*Not to be confused with No. 21; this one (29) is intentional while No.
21 is 'involuntary'] [Could correlate with No. 10 & 25] )

30. Frequent mood swings-- could be 'preemptively' identified with certain comments
e.g. "Having someone who can handle your mood swings is such a blessing", "Need a
man that can handle me (when I'm mad, act crazy..)" [Correlates with No. 19.
Possibly with No. 13, 17, 18, 22, 23 & 25]

31. Really into astrology (has their personality, behaviours or actions based on
zodiac signs)
32. Being "Free-spirited"; 'Hippie' or 'Gypsy-like'. (Could correlate with No. 8,
10 & 26. Possibly with No. 28)

33. Often/always play the victim-- "When you're so used to playing the victim you
don't realise when you're being the villain." (Often correlates with No. 15, 20 &
29. Possibly with No. 6, 10, 11, 16 & 17)
34. Comments like "A real man would(n't).." (Often used as a shaming tactic** to
get their way or what they want. e.g. "A real man would get his woman a [insert
desirables here]" / "A real man wouldn't let his woman walk around without a
[insert desirables here]"--also referred to as the "No True Scotsman" fallacy
[Strongly correlates with No. 11 & 13] )

B.) "My body my choice" (While true, is often used to justify or rationalise
immoral or ignominious actions, sometimes under the guise of "Body positivity" e.g.
promiscuity, being scantily clad (on social media), etc. [May correlate with No. 4,
6, 8 & 10. Possibly with No. 12] )

C.) "So you're gay"/ "Just say you're gay.." (Often used as a shaming tactic** ,
more often than not, as a "retort" or "parting shot" when faced with criticism or
when their 'advances/overture' gets turned down * i.e. Saying "no" to their
proposal of a date, hookup, etc. [Strongly correlates with No. 11 & No. 25.
Possibly No. 17.] Interestingly, it seems some women use this as an 'insult' in
spite of being supporters of gay rights; may be a hint of No. 15.

* "When a woman is so used to getting her way, especially a beautiful woman.. it is

such a huge blow to her ego and self esteem when a man says no. They refused to
just accept that he just wasn't interested. That would be too painful to accept.
Instead they have to convince themselves that he likes d#ck."

** "Shaming tactics are emotional devices meant to play on a man's insecurities and
shut down debate. They are meant to elicit sympathy for women and to demonize men
who ask hard questions."

35. Habit of gossip or stirring up drama (These two may not be mutually exclusive.
[May correlate to No. 11, 13, 17, 19 & 33] )

36. Very active in the 'clubbing' scene, (wild) late night parties.

37. Only interested in you when they're being 'ignored' (This could be due to
'indecisiveness' or 'attention-seeking*' [The latter could correlate with No. 6, 10
& 13--when they've gotten the attention, interest will likely dissipate] )

* Attention seekers tend to have certain people around them in order to "satiate"
their need for attention--Orbiters; essentially, 'fuel sources' for attention. In a
"non-platonic" setting, the orbiter serves as both a fuel source for 'attention'
and an 'ego boost' upon 'rejection'.

B.) Interested in you when you're preoccupied with a female (Strongly correlates
with No. 12 [Preselection]. Possibly with No. 13 & 18)

38. (Often) accuses you of cheating/ Continually or actively criticizes cheaters

(The former may be a defence mechanism often used by cheating partners; projecting
their feelings of guilt or shame on you. [Oftens correlates with No. 11 & 18.
Possibly with No. 16 & 19]. The latter may be a defence mechanism for "covering
their tracks" or to make themselves feel "better" or look "better" (feel superior)
after infidelity. [May correlate with No. 15]. Both the former and latter may not
be mutually exclusive.)

39. Controlling behaviour ("A controlling person isn't always overtly threatening
or aggressive. Sometimes they are emotionally manipulative and acting out of
insecurity."- Psychology Today [Correlates with No. 18 & 24. Strongly with 16 & 25.
Possibly with No. 11, 17 & 38] )

40. Blame shifting--"People who ruin their lives have a tendency to blame other
people when things go wrong." - Daniel G. Amen, MD.

e.g. "I never thought I�d be the type to cheat, but you made me feel so
unappreciated.", "If you didn't always make me angry then I wouldn't hit you.�,
"You and Dad never modeled a healthy relationship for me. No wonder my marriage
fell apart.�

*As a last resort, usually when they�ve been blatantly caught or called out for
something they know they did wrong, they use a "Stink bomb" (they throw a
completely unfounded, terrible accusation at you e.g. "Well, you abused me.

You hit me

You r#ped me

You cheated on me

You never loved me

You�re mentally ill

You�re stalking me", etc.)

By sucking you into these arguments, they are consuming your energy and watching
you be progressively self-destructive, so they can use your reactions to prove
their own points. (�Wow, look how bitter and angry you are!�) and that�s the whole
point. The blame is now off of them, and now you�re the one in hot water. Now you
readily find yourself fighting to win your case.

J.A.D.E stands for Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain. When it comes to people with
Cluster-B personality disorders (antisocial personality disorder, borderline
personality disorder, histrionic personality disorder and narcissistic personality
disorder), don�t do those things.

You will feel compelled to but don�t. When you try to defend yourself against a
false accusation, you legitimize it by even acknowledging it. The only way to
respond to these tactics is to stand up and walk away. Just walk away. Silently.

[*Source: themindsjournal.com]

(Shouldn't be ignored; possible sign of an abusive person. [Strongly correlates

with No. 11, 17, 19 & 33. Possibly with No. 20 & 26] )

41. Currently or formerly* a se>< worker (Pr#stitutes, stripp#rs**, onlyf#ns

"models/content creators", video vixens**, etc.)--while obvious to many, may be
unobvious/subtle to some; "No one goes into se>< work because they're well
adjusted" in spite of whatever 'rationale' may be used to deem this 'normal',
'healthy', 'empowering' or 'necessary due to circumstances'.

The traumatic and degrading nature of this line of work is (well) known for having
adverse effects on mental, emotional and possibly physical health, leading to a
slew of psychological problems and toxic (destructive) behaviours.

*A myriad of former workers don't discover, acknowledge and correctly fix their
traumas/unresolved issues sustained (before and) after se>< work which damages
their ability to form & maintain healthy relationships, though, the few who do
genuinely work on themselves are not always exempt from certain consequences e.g.
impaired (or lost) ability to 'pair bond'.

"Sex workers are adults who receive money or goods in exchange for consensual
sexual services or erotic performances**, either regularly or occasionally."

** "The profession places a high demand on vixen's accessibility to men which gives
such men an upper hand to manipulate these ladies into various exploits,
notwithstanding the fact that most vixens are willing to be exploited to get more
jobs and more favour." e.g. Amber Rose, Blac Chyna, Karrine 'Superhead' Steffans,
etc.

(Strongly correlates with No. 10. Very often with No. 26. Possibly with No. 6 &
13**)

For those who are perplexed about No. 1-5, google search for images of Saweetie or
blac chyna or sumn idk

These flags could be a result of insecurities, emotional and/or mental immaturity,

childhood emotional neglect, attention/validation seeking, attachment issues, etc.
I think observing people's personalities, character and behaviours rather than
focusing on their 'looks' or 'physical attractiveness' is a good way to overcome
the halo effect.

Also, like attracts like, so make sure to be self-aware and reflect on your
actions/behaviour to grow and mature as a person. And be compassionate to others as
you'd be to yourself.

These are just my observations and opinions.