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what criterion of the rubric did your revision focus on?

My revision focused on fixing everything that I fell short of on the rubric.

why did you make these changes?

My other essay was rushed and did not meet the criteria. Particularly, I improved clarity

and analysis. There was little to no evidence used to back up my statements and that has now

been fixed. The style and organization as subpar and did not meet the expectations but with my

changes this is far more appropriate.

how has your work improved as a result?

Everything about my work has improved. The prompt is more fully answered, it read’s

better, and it provides sufficient evidence to back up my claims.

Dominic Jones

Professor Henken

ENC 1101

November 4th, 2023

Rhetoric can be formed in a multitude of different ways including, but not limited to,

word choice and punctuation. Rhetorical tools are incredibly powerful to the reader as well as the

writer. It allows the writer to express themselves more effectively and express a specific tone or

emphasis on a piece of information. It also allows the reader to better understand the writer and

the message the author is trying to convey. The use of rhetoric using through punctuation varies

greatly depending on what is being written.

For example, in opinion news articles they are filled with rhetorical uses of punctuation.

opinion commentaries are filled with rhetorical uses of punctuation. From dashes to create

emphasis to colons to create anticipation there is a strong variety in of punctuation and sentence

structures. For instance, the article published on CNN titledthe CNN commentary titled

“Opinion: It’s incredibly obvious what voters want. Republicans – and Democrats – won’t

listen.” talks about the state of the US government and what the people want what the American

people with the 2024 elections coming up. It is well known the CNN favors Ddemocrats over the
Republicans. Just by analyzing the title, the use of the dash to provide emphasis that democrats

including in an article that is negative. Considering CNN’s contents tends to be anti-republican

this is significant. Just by analyzing the title, the use of the Dash to provide emphasis that

Democrats are also a part of the problem, which is significant from a publisher like CNN

because they tend to be anti-Republican. Further in the article more rhetorical punctuation is

used saying “Trump prioritized a conventional Republican economic agenda: tax cuts,

deregulation and repealing Obamacare.” The use of the colon draws attention to the actions that

are apart of the conventional Republican economic agenda. This done again in the article stating,

“Populist voters, Drutman argues, share similar leanings to most populist leaders: They skew

"left" on economic issues and "right" on identity issues.” Again, drawing attention to what makes

populist voters differ from conventional Republican or Democrat.

In contrast, spam emails have little to no rhetorical use of punctuation. The sentences are

bland and are often comprised of periods and commas with the occasional exclamation point. A

overwhelming majority of these types of emails are scams and relying on the uneducated to fall

for these tricks. The lack of rhetorical punctuation can he attributed to a few reasons. One would

be the source of these emails are usually from people whose first language is not English therefor

not educated enough to used rhetoric effectively. Secondly, the text focused on other forms of

rhetoric to grab the reads attention including word choice and visual aids. These emails are short

in content and are very quick reads. People will likely on look at these emails for ten seconds

max. In a spam email that I received it said, “A user just logged into your Facebook account

from a new device IPhone 13 Pro Max. We are sending you this email to verify it’s really you.”

There is not much to look at here. Single independent clause sentences with little to no meaning.

In another spam email I received it says, “You've been selected to receive an exclusive offer!”
Although the exclamation point provides some rhetorical appeal through punctuation, the use of

word choice overshadows the punctuation. The word “exclusive” creates a much greater effect.

For writing that are looked at for very minimal amount of time the authors understand that word

choice is far more powerful. That is not enough time for the reader to think critically about the

punctuation and what the author meant.

As shown, rhetoric can be conveyed in a multitude of ways, but one the most advanced

and effective uses of it is through punctuation. Due to its advanced natural it is not always used.

Opinion commentaries use it frequently compared to something like spam email which are on the

opposite side of the spectrum. Both are effective in the author communicating their message

despite the differences.

Sentence Changes:

Original Sentence: “Opinion: It’s incredibly obvious what voters want. Republicans – and

Democrats – won’t listen.”

Source: CNN article

Sentence without rhetorical appeals: It’s incredibly obvious what voters want. Republicans and

Democrats won’t listen.

With the rhetorical appeal removed the sentence becomes incredibly bland. As the title of article,

it is supposed to gain the readers attention but it does the opposite. The use of punctuation is

what makes the sentence an adequate title.

Original Sentence: “A user just logged into your Facebook account from a new device IPhone 13

Pro Max. We are sending you this email to verify it's really you.”

Source: Spam email I found in my gmail.

Sentence with added rhetoric: “A user just logged into your Facebook account from a new device –

an IPhone 13 Pro Max. We are sending you this email: to verify that it’s really you!”

In the new sentence that has added rhetorical punctuation it has created a greater meaning in the

sentence. The dash emphasis what new device has been logged in with. This helps the reader

know that if they don’t have this device then their account has been infiltrated. This is more

convincing then the sentence with no rhetorical appeal. The addition of the colon and the

exclamation point both add value. The colon adds some anticipation to the sentence and more

anticipation as to the purpose of the email. The exclamation point adds a sense of urgency and

importance to the email that could lead to a poor decision to follow up on the email and get

scammed.