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Learning log domestic violence

We have seen throughout the lesson that the domestic violence (DV) can take different form;
the abuse can be physical, but also psychological, emotional, sexual, or financial. It is
important to realize that it is not a personal problem. It is not a matter of willpower;
everyone could possibly be a victim. Taking that into account, violence against women is a
public health problem and can therefore be prevented.

When talking about number, some 42% of the women in Switzerland have experienced
domestic violence, and 24% of the men. Most of the victims are women (72%), mostly
between the ages of 26 to 45. Finally, the number of feminicides have stayed stable over the
past 25 years in Switzerland, they are still an important part of the total homicides. Most of
them have been perpetrated by the partner or ex-partner of the victim2.

On the website of the Swiss prevention of criminality, domestic violence involves some
characteristics; the violent acts occur mostly at home, there is an emotional bound between
the perpetrator and the victim, it recurrent, linked with domination, power or control and
creates a spiral of violence1.

Working with the police in Switzerland

So, what to do when you experience DV? According to an estimation, only 10% to 20% of the
victims report to the police; a lot of them don’t do it because they say it’s nothing, it’s not
serious enough. But when we go to the police, do they really take us seriously? In fact,
disclosure of your experience put you at risk for experiencing more humiliation at a moment
where you are already vulnerable. To have a listening and comprehensive person is therefore
very important. So, are the police really a safe place to report? Will it put an end to domestic
violence?

Indeed, it can be very frustrating that repeated police interventions didn’t stop the circle of
violence; victims can be discouraged. Even if is still taboo, we have been talking more and
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more about domestic violence and violence against women in general. It is an important
step, given that DV interventions are among the most dangerous job of the Swiss police; they
receive calls every days1. As said in an article about DV training for police officers 3, they must
be able to understand the victim's experience and feelings. Communication skills such as
active listening, respect and empathy are therefore essential. This is why more and more
police officers are undergoing training to intervene domestic violence. Since 2004, repeated
assaults, threats and physical violence has been prosecuted ex officio. But what about so-
called minor psychological violence?

In fact, psychological violence is often not seen and punished by law, given that it is much
harder prove it, just like some forms of physical abuse. However, psychological violence is
often the first step leading to a spiraling of violence if we do nothing to stop it3.

Perpetrators
There are various explanatory theories about the origin of DV. Among the causes, we find
hormones or instincts, personality disorder or trauma, violence as a learned behavior,
striving for control, dominance, and power. These are different perspectives, and we must
work at every level to prevent violence.

The psychoanalytic theory emphasizing the individual personality predisposition can help us
understand why perpetrators commit acts of violence. However, it does not justify the
violence. Indeed, a significative number of the perpetrators have been beaten themselves.,
but some other people who experienced DV decided not to commit those acts because they
saw the consequences of these behaviors. So, what is the triggering event? How to help
them break the circle and take responsibility for their feelings?

Perpetrators and trauma

Violence can be influenced by a variety of factors, and trauma is one of them. Trauma can
contribute to violent behavior in some individuals. Indeed, trauma can lead to emotional and
psychological distress, such as anger, depression, or anxiety. In some cases, individuals may
resort to violence as a maladaptive coping mechanism to deal with these emotions. In a
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more pathological way, PTSD can lead to symptoms like hypervigilance, irritability, and
aggression, which may contribute to violent outbursts.

In fact, trauma is both the experience and the response to the traumatic events. I can’t talk
about trauma without mentioning the work of Peter Levine, the founder of the ‘somatic
experiencing’, that I will develop more in details later. For him, the trauma is not trigger by
the event, but by the inner experience of it. In fact, trauma can result from important
traumatic events like natural disasters, but also from some more seemingly typical events,
that can also occur repeatedly. When the person experiences this threat, the “fight or flight”
system activates. But sometimes, this defensive mechanism cannot unfold completely
because the person is impeded to move, there is no solution to fight or flight. In this case,
the “freeze” mode activates, and the energy deployed to counter the threat stay stuck in the
nervous system. This is also an adaptative process, but when the person is unable to release
this energy afterwards, that provokes the symptoms of trauma or PTSD listed above.6

“When we experience trauma our relationship to the experience fragments. Some parts of
the experience get over-emphasized (like a sound or a smell) and others become under-
emphasized (like bodily sensation during the event)”5.

Some ways to intervene them

Although I will develop psychological explanation of the violence linked with trauma, it’s
important to keep in mind that the perpetrator is always responsible of the violence.
Understand why he’s acting like that doesn’t justify these acts. Plus, it is important to note
that not everyone who experiences trauma becomes violent.

Somatic experiencing SE
SE is originally an approach to heal traumas. According to Levine, the person will keep
experiencing the unhealed trauma by “reenacting” it unconsciously. This could be an
explanation for the cycles of violence. In SE, the person is invited to feel the physical
sensations in order to discharge the energy stored in the nervous system 6. “This process
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allows the body and mind to find an integrated pathway towards resolution and a more
complete experience of yourself”5.

Trauma and violence-informed care (TVIC) also recognize the link between trauma and
violence. However, their focus is not about treating trauma, but to “minimize the potential
for harm and re-traumatization, and to enhance safety, control and resilience for all clients
involved with systems or programs”4. In fact, it is not a single model but a framework
incorporating several principles, perspectives, and skills. They can be applied by individuals
and organizations, and in many contexts (medicine, law, education, relationship, etc). They
require fundamental change of the system, a deep understanding trauma and its
consequences and the need for a safe environment.

Perpetrators programs
To put it in practice is always tricky. Indeed, there is a thin line between empathy and taking
the burden of the person. Pus, in therapy, we value understanding and non-judgement. But is
it working well with perpetrators, or will they take advantage of it? Personally, I have the
tendency to assume that people have good intentions. But with perpetrators, we must
assume they don’t have, in order to protect us and the victims.

We know that programs for perpetrator exist, although they don’t work very well in general.
To begin, only the ones who are motivated to change will attend these programs. But
motivation is precisely one of the biggest issues; it leaves behind a significant number of
perpetrators who don’t take responsibility for their acts.

How to bear the shame and guilt that they are feeling, so they don’t put it on others?
Indeed, shame is more an identity issue. It makes the person more eager to deny or hide
their behavior. If assume that it is something related to their identity, there is no possibility to
change. So, the first step would be to understand I am not myself a bad person, but that my
acts are reprehensible, and feel the consequences of them. In that view, it’s important to
differentiate shame and guilt.
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What works better in a program?

It can be a good idea to begin with the model of ENGAGE funnel question. It begins with
general questions like “How are things at home”, to go towards more specific ones like “have
you ever hurt her”. The questions go deeper and deeper into the problem of violence, but
gradually. In addition to that, it is important to induce motivation for change and to refer the
perpetrator to programs or specialized services.

In general, it has been proven effective to focus on certain themes. Talking about insecure
experiences can help men notice their own dependency and insecurity. Find connection to
pasts events can helps to accept and own these painful experiences and emotions as part of
oneself. Talking about emotions, we may direct the person to his physical sensations to feel
how it still affect them now, as seen in the “somatic experiencing”. Finally, we may also work
on empathy by put ourselves in the shoes of the perpetrator, or the victim, to show him how
she can feel. This can be done also by using VR programs to make the experience even more
real.

View of women, role of power and dependency.

We viewed more in details the psychological explanation by talking about trauma. However,
this is not the only factor of violence. Indeed, perpetrator often have a very discursive view
of women. They are seen as provocative, undependable, and mysterious creatures. This
could trigger fear and feeling of abandonment. Some people may want to escape it and will
use violence to suppress the perceived cause of their discomfort. It can be du also to
cognitive bias or societal influences, believing that they cannot stand these negative
emotions and must act in order to suppress them. It is well known; a man must be strong…

A scientific paper by Bornstein (2006) posits that emotional dependency in men contribute
to domestic violence. Emotional dependency is defined as “a need for nurturance,
protection, and support, even in situations in which a person is capable of functioning
autonomously and meeting challenges on his or her own” (Bornstein, 1992, 1993).
Dependent people often feel a deep fear of abandonment and rejection, which goes with
high level of possessiveness and jealousy. These insecurities may lead him to use violence
when they perceive the threat of rejection. In that view, the dependent person may believe
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that he needs his or her partner in order to survive. Paradoxically, this perceived lack of
power may lead to an attempt to regain it by using violence.

Indeed, violence can be a consequence of an incontrollable negative emotion like anger but
is also experienced by some people as pleasurable. Power and dominance trigger the reward
system and release dopamine. There is often an undeniable link between power and
violence. In fact, perpetrator always choose a weaker victim, a victim they can control. This is
why violence is a public health problem. A state that doesn’t punish these behaviors give the
message that “the strong and powerful always win”7.

Some way to prevent them

To prevent domestic violence, we can act at three different levels. First, primary prevention
provides information to the general, healthy population through school programs or
campaigns prevention. The secondary prevention target people who are at risk, while the
tertiary prevention target people who are experiencing domestic violence.

Among the strategies to prevent domestic violence, we can teach safe and healthy
relationship skills, engage influential adults and pears, create protective environments, or
strengthen economic support for families. The children and teenagers spent most of their
time at school, so it could be effective to make it a safe place. Indeed, it is important to act as
soon as possible against violence and avoid bullying. Research has shown that children
exposed to domestic violence may externalize their emotional problems, showing
hyperactivity, reduced impulse control, temper tantrums, aggression, or bullying. They can
also display a decreased level of social competences and poor conflict resolution skills. If not
treated, these issues will often follow the child until adulthood, in the form of depression,
trauma, low self-esteem, violent behavior or poor parenting practices (Thompson & Trice-
Black, 2012).

This is why the role of teachers is so important; they are in the first line to witness the
consequences of domestic violence. Unfortunately, the teachers are not always trained to
react appropriately. If we take the example of bullying, it can have serious negative
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consequences. In a synthesis of literature by Senden & Galand (2021) reports that in 65,2%
of the cases, the teacher knows about the bullying situation. In only 43% of those cases, the
teacher intervened in a way that improved the situation. In the other cases, it has either
didn’t change the situation, worsen it, or the teacher didn’t intervene at all. This proves the
need to raise the awareness of teachers and to suggest training skills programs that would
help them react adequately.

Prevention system in Switzerland

The DV prevention system of Switzerland is explained on the Swiss website of prevention of
criminality. In 2013, we signed the Istanbul convention to prevent violence against women
and domestic violence. However, there is no national law on domestic violence; it’s regulated
at the level of the state. An important law is the LAVI (loi sur l’aide aux victimes) which is
active since 1993. It guarantees free counselling, medical, social, psychological, and material
assistance to the victims of violence.

When you experience DV, the following procedure is recommended: immediately alert the
police, ask for a medical certificate, and ask for protection measures (obtain removal order,
go to a shelter, etc). Safety is the most important thing when we are dealing on domestic
violence.
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Sources

1. Site de la Prévention Suisse de la Criminalité.

https://www.skppsc.ch/fr/sujets/violence/violence-domestique/.

2. Léa Buchers. La Suisse face aux féminicides. RTS.

https://www.rts.ch/info/suisse/14061588-la-suisse-face-aux-
feminicides.html#chap01.

3. Geneviève Comby. (2022, janvier 24). Les policiers se forment à la violence

domestique. Femina. https://www.femina.ch/societe/actu-societe/les-policiers-se-
forment-a-la-violence-domestique.

4. Trauma and violence-informed approaches to policy and practice. Government of

Canada. https://www.canada.ca/en/public-health/services/publications/health-risks-
safety/trauma-violence-informed-approaches-policy-practice.html#.

5. Levine, P.A. (2019). Réveiller le tigre, guérir le traumatisme. Intereditions.

6. Sandi Syke. Every form of violence is about power. Stand to end rape.
https://standtoendrape.org/every-form-of-violence-is-about-power/#:~:text=This
%20dynamic%20shows%20that%20violence,victim%20or%20rejection%20of
%20advances.

Scientific papers

Bornstein, R. F. (2006). The complex relationship between dependency and domestic

violence : Converging psychological factors and social forces. American Psychologist,

61(6), 595-606. https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.61.6.595

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Senden, M., & Galand, B. (2021). Comment réagir face à une situation de harcèlement à

l’école ? Une synthèse de la littérature. Pratiques Psychologiques, 27(4), 241-259.

https://doi.org/10.1016/j.prps.2020.09.006

Thompson, E. H., & Trice-Black, S. (2012). School-Based Group Interventions for Children

Exposed to Domestic Violence. Journal of Family Violence, 27(3), 233-241.

https://doi.org/10.1007/s10896-012-9416-6