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Phun Things to do at a Mall

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written by
## the Road Warrior ##

...from the library of the Gray Mouser...

Call the Thieves' Guild at (203) 274-1395

Here is a great way to have fun at your local mall. You should read this
manual formally first to fully understand the theories involved before you
attempt to try these at your local mall.

(1) Look for the local Radio Shack or other computer store.
Enter the store - if store clerks are out then you can just sit
right down and use their computers. If the store clerks are
in just sit down at one of their computers anyway and act
stupid... Dont let them think you know too much about computers.
After a boring 5 minute lecture they give you, they'll probably
leave you to the computer by yourself.

Do one of the following: (and leave and dont come back...)

- make the guys screen flash with swears or other vulgarities
- check his personal info that he may have stored on it (it's
better to use a computer that has hard disks, they usually
store all their shit on it...)
- format his disk right there (if he doesn't have a format program
ask him for DOS)
- put a bug in it for later (I did this one recently by placing
a format program in the guys auto-execute file... this means
that when the guy reboots the system, KAPUT! everything's gone!
when I walked past the store again, the computer was shut off
and one of the clerks seemed pretty pissed...)

(2) Bookstores can provide hours of entertainment... here's how:

- If you are not old enough to read adult magazines, place the adult
one inside of another one and then get your jollies off of it...
- If you dont have enough money to buy magazines, do the same trick
when buying one... put the smaller inside of the larger.. (make
sure the smaller isn't too thick)
- If the adult books are near the clerk's table, then I suggest you
reading these:
National Lampoon, Modern Photography, Autobuff, etc...
- Also, go over to the photography section and read the books on
nude photography... these are sometimes better than your average
Playboy/Penthouse/High Society...
- Another thing to do would be to put these adult books in the toddler
section, or the kids 12 & under section... this provides much
entertainment when the kid pulls the book off the shelf and shows
his mother.... (hehehehe)

(3) Lastly, take a trip to a big department store (Sears, etc...)

- If you want credit card numbers, look in the garbage pail for the
carbons... I found a couple there...
- If you want game disks, programs - the little tab that store puts
on the box for their security system is on the outside of the box, so
 just open the box and take what you need...

Tips:
If you dont want to resort all the way to shoplifting, just change the
price tag on an item to whatever you please... Dont worry if they catch you,
they can't do anything to you if you say that that was the way you found it..
(How do you think I got over 40 Dungeons and Dragons books (valued at $400) for
under 75 dollars)
One last thing, if you get pissed at a clerk or store, that's just the way
to stay... take a piss (only do this in the big department stores!) anywhere
you please where you cant be seen (make sure there are no cameras or mirrors)
-Usually best in the clothing sections or changing booths where there is at
least some privacy...

H A V E P H U N A N D D O N ' T G E T C A U G H T ! ! !

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