Introduction

Have you been fighting with your partner over trivial matters lately? Do you just feel like venting it all
out, without any care about their feelings? Do you feel stuck in negative thought patterns, escaping
which feels impossible? Are you anxious, stressed, and insecure about your future together? Are you
losing sleep over it?

Overthinking can do that!

It can kill happiness, butcher a relationship’s tranquility, and make you question your self-worth. It can
consume your soul completely, leaving you feeling pitiful, insecure, and clingy. Some days you feel like
arguing over a minute’s delay with your partner. Their explanations as to what caused the delay don’t
persuade you. Same happens when they take a phone call after work hours or have to be somewhere
work-related. You find it hard to believe and constantly feel like you are being lied to.

Let’s not forget the fights you have in the car after you head home from a social event over why a friend
or acquaintance was being too friendly. You compare yourself with anyone and everyone that crosses
the street because you just can’t help it. You question why your partner seems distant without
acknowledging that they might need some personal space from time to time.

You feel wronged, detached from your partner emotionally, and struggle communicating your needs and
desires assertively. On days, you feel like this won’t work between you two because there is so much
that remains unsaid and unheard. Communication challenges are a given with overthinking and
relationship anxiety.

Our mind is a powerful tool. It has the ability to create thoughts from scratch and make them believable.
I like to call it an untamed factory of thoughts. It’s so fascinating to note how you can imagine and
visualize something so easily by just creating a mental image of it. But as easy as it is to cultivate
beautiful images, it is equally easy to foster negativity.

Think of it as a snowball effect. One thought breeds another and then another until you have something
called a fact. When many coinciding thoughts take form, you create a fact. You start believing it because
of all the data you have gathered.

But how does this all come down to one culprit?

To understand, let’s delve into what overthinking is and how it happens. In its literal term, overthinking
refers to thinking about something too much. You keep analyzing one thing over and over again, until it
becomes harmful. No matter how much you try, you can’t seem to turn the meter off. Thoughts keep
pouring one after another until you become paralyzed to take action or make a decision. This is never
good as it leaves you incapacitated.

Overthinking is a mental disorder, and rightly called one. The episodes are unpleasant and
incontrollable. These episodes most commonly occur when you are trying to fall asleep or focus on
something imperative. These may also occur when you consciously try to ‘not think’ like during a
meditation session where the goal is to calm your mind and declutter. When these episodes happen, it is
challenging to break free and move past them. The consequences are as expected: decision-making
inability, anger, frustration, and procrastination.

How do I know all this? Because believe it or not, I was a serial overthinker. I still have those episodes
where no matter how many sheep I count before sleep, I just can’t fall asleep. And the worst part, those
thoughts aren’t even relevant or important. For example, just yesterday, I couldn’t stop thinking about
the way I dressed during college. What good would it do now to think about how poorly I dressed, right?
Just for some information, I was a rebel. I liked to dress all black, chains, and all. Every picture taken
during that time is a memory I no longer want to remember.

But coming back to my original point, I didn’t need to think about it. What good would it do now? I can’t
go back and change time. What should matter was how I excelled through college and graduated with a
stellar CGPA. That’s a thought I would prefer thinking about.

But overthinking doesn’t work that way, does it? That’s way it’s bad for you. You think about things you
have no control over or aren’t important. You waste valuable time and energy.

The constant internal chatter in my brain let me overthink and believe thoughts that weren’t true and
this habit carried well into my relationships as well. Every time my partner would request some space, I
would convince myself that they no longer loved me or needed me. That led to avoiding them, not
communicating effectively, becoming more guarded, and losing trust.

When it comes to relationships, overthinking can easily turn a healthy and promising relationship into a
toxic one. You make mountains out of molehills. Things as small as forgetting to kiss your partner before
heading for work, can trigger it. A text left on seen is another classic example. You wonder why your
partner isn’t responding back despite reading your text and before you know it, that wondering turns
into worrying.

Overthinking happens when there are gaps in information or context. In this fast-moving world, we want
to be informed every minute. That’s how we stay grounded and connected. When there are gaps, the
mind fills in. It makes guesses, interprets, read between the lines, and contemplate clues.

Why was my husband not his usual chatty today during dinner?

Why did her “love you too” didn’t sound sincere?

Why was his response to “hoe was your day?” only “fine”?

As a result, we overanalyze, create problems when there aren’t any, argue, assume the worst, avoid
difficult conversations, and compare our relationship with others.

Uncertainty compels us to create our own stories. We give ourselves explanations we formed in our
head just a minute ago. They aren’t bad but the problem is that they aren’t always right either.
So what can be done? How can you avoid the unavoidable? How can you make relationships less toxic,
more harmonious, and sustainable? How can you find lasting happiness and fulfillment in your
relationship without an analysis paralysis of every little detail and be in control at all times?

More to come with a roadmap on how to manage it, why this book has all the answers, why it is what
the reader should be reading along with the author’s bio.

The reader's secret desire is to find lasting happiness and fulfillment in their relationship. They crave a
deep emotional connection and a sense of security with their partner.

1. Achieve a calm and clear mindset, free from overthinking’s grip with techniques and strategies
to gain clarity, reduce overthinking, and achieve a sense of calm within their relationships.

2. Learn to express thoughts and feelings openly without fear of overanalysis.

3. Gain insights into personal triggers, fostering self-awareness and growth.

4. Strengthen emotional bonds, creating a more fulfilling and secure relationship.

5. Understand the role your mind plays when you feel the world is spinning out of control.

6. Learn how to focus on the positive aspects of the relationship.

The book's USP (unique selling point): With a unique blend of mindfulness techniques, journaling
sections, psychological insights, relatable anecdotes, and actionable steps, this book equips you with a
holistic approach to conquer overthinking, build stronger connections, and foster a profound sense of
self-worth.

● How overthinking affects relationships

https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-psychology-of-relationships/202303/how-
worrying-and-overthinking-can-ruin-your
https://hackspirit.com/mistakes-overthinkers-make-relationships/
https://thriveworks.com/help-with/relationships/how-to-stop-overthinking-in-a-relationship/
● Present the benefits of reading this book: List the shortcuts they will get
See the ‘Why should your target audience read this book? What will they gain from it?’ section
mentioned above to elaborate on it.

Outline the end result the reader will get from reading this book (paint a vivid picture of a better
life). Use the Future Outcome section mentioned above.

● Explain why the author is an authority and the right person to guide them, (only if applicable).
See Author’s Bio.

● Talk about how difficult it was to achieve the promised end result before people had the ‘new’
information the author is going to reveal

● Make the reader feel “this is the right book for me.”