Surely It Was Fate

Surely It Was Fate
Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/49114030.
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: F/F, F/M, M/M
Fandom: 전지적 독자 시점 - 싱숑 | Omniscient Reader - Sing-Shong
Relationship: Kim Dokja/Yoo Joonghyuk, Han Sooyoung/Yoo Sangah, Jung
Heewon/Lee Hyunsung, Kim Dokja & Kim Dokja's Company, Han
Sooyoung & Kim Dokja, Kim Dokja & Yoo Sangah, Kim Dokja & Jung
Heewon, Kim Dokja & Lee Hyunsung, Kim Dokja & Lee Seolhwa, Lee
Seolhwa/Yoo Joonghyuk, Yoo Joonghyuk & Yoo Mia, Kim Dokja & Shin
Yoosung, Kim Dokja & Lee Gilyoung & Shin Yoosung, Demon-like
Judge of Fire | Uriel & Kim Dokja, Kim Dokja & Prisoner of the Golden
Headband | Sun Wukong, Abyssal Black Flame Dragon & Kim Dokja,
Bihyung & Kim Dokja, Lee Jihye & Yoo Joonghyuk, Kim Dokja & Lee
Jihye, Kim Namwoon & Lee Jihye, Father of the Rich Night | Hades &
Kim Dokja & Queen of the Darkest Spring | Persephone
Character: Kim Dokja, Kim Dokja's Company, Yoo Joonghyuk, Yoo Sangah, Han
Sooyoung, Jung Heewon, Lee Hyunsung, Lee Seolhwa, Queen of the
Darkest Spring | Persephone, Father of the Rich Night | Hades,
Demon-like Judge of Fire | Uriel, Prisoner of the Golden Headband |
Sun Wukong, Abyssal Black Flame Dragon, Lee Jihye, Kim Namwoon
Additional Tags: Childhood Friends, Childhood Trauma, no beta we die like kim dokja,
Romance, Author's cluelss about plot, Childhood estranged friends to
friends with benefits with emotions to strangers to friends to lovers,
Friends to Lovers, Fluff and Angst, Kim Dokja Needs a Hug, Kim Dokja
still the self-sacrificial bastard, Mutual Pining, Yoo Joonghyuk is
Whipped, Pro Gamer Yoo Joonghyuk, Pretty Kim Dokja, Kim Dokja is
dealing with a lot of isssues, Miscommunication, Self-Indulgent, Self-
Esteem Issues, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Kim Dokja is Loved,
Kim Dokja has tattoos, Persephone and Hades best parents, Kim Dokja
has original trauma, Kim Dokja was just adopted by Hades and
Persphone when he was sixteen, Hopefully a plot will form by itself, If
you see plotholes no you didn't, might be ooc but who cares, Author is
trying, Idiots in Love, Office Worker Kim Dokja...or is he?, Alternate
Universe - Modern Setting, Implied Sexual Content, Mental Health
Issues, Implied Top Kim Dokja, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Mildly Dubious
Consent, Suicidal Kim Dokja
Language: English
Collections: Anonymous
Stats: Published: 2023-08-04 Updated: 2023-09-03 Words: 275,540 Chapters:
39/?
Surely It Was Fate

by Anonymous
Summary
Yoo Joonghyuk did not believe in fate. It made much more sense to believe in logic,
common sense and coincidences. Things happen because of one's actions, not because some
higher being or the universe had divined it so. It was reasonable, it was true and he would
stick to it. It was not fate that he had met the menace called Han Sooyoung. It was not fate
that Han Sooyoung had sent him a text after months of peace and that Mia happened to read
it and consequently persuadeYoo Joonghyuk to go meet his 'friends. It was not fate that he
knew most of Han Sooyoung's 'friends'. No, it was pretty logical if you thought about it.
The door to the restaurant opened, and a slender man in a black office suit walked it, head
turned, speaking to the pretty brunette that accompanied him, Yoo Joonghyuk's lips pursed.
That man, he was the only one who could make Yoo Joonghyuk doubt his beliefs.
The man scanned the restaurant and spotted the little gremlin he was looking for. Then his
eyes slid to Yoo Joonghyuk and he paused, his previous smile sliding off his face.
Right, Kim Dokja. The only one who made Yoo Joonghyuk believe in fate.
That bastard.
Notes
First fic in the ORV fandom. Clearly, this is going to be very self-indulgent. I've just had
this idea stuck in my head and it won't allow me to live peacefully until I get it out of my
system by writing it. To be honest, I haven't got anything planned, it was just a vague
setting that would not let me rest. There is no plot. Hopefully, I'll figure something out on
the way.
And with that, I hope you enjoy your time reading. I would love it if you left comments and
don't mind if you point out typos or other errors
Chapter 1
Yoo Joonghyuk met Kim Dokja for the first time when he was fifteen. They met on one of the
warmer days of September, at the hospital in Seoul.
Yoo Joonghyuk was feeling annoyed. Staying in the hospital was stifling and a busy hospital gave
none of the peace and quiet that Yoo Joonghyuk liked and preferred. He'd much rather go back
home with his master. He was sure his master would prefer that as well. She might even make him
do some light training with the heavy casts on his left leg. He wouldn't mind as long as he got to
get out of here.
Heaving himself onto the crutch clasped under his arm, and wincing as the injuries along his ribs
screamed, Yoo Joonghyuk reluctantly admitted to himself that perhaps training was stretching it a
bit.
Even so, he could still recover at home! Those doctors were just being excessive. Money-grubbing,
white-coated jerks. They just wanted to make him stay for longer so that they could squeeze
money out of him and his guardian. They had somehow managed to even convince Namgung
Minyoung to let Yoo Joonghyuk stay in this shitty hospital until he was in better shape.
Yoo Joonghyuk limped away from his bed, and down the long corridors, heading outside for some
fresh air. He had barely made it past the paediatric ward when he spotted a little crowd of children.
Children sure make friends easily, he thought dully. Joonghyuk was not an approachable person
and his teachers at school seemed to think he had difficulties connecting with other people. Which
was bullshit, by the way. He just couldn't be bothered to entertain middle-school idiots. He didn't
need 'friends'.
"Is your brain okay?" an eager little kid was asking his friend who was leaning on crutches as
well.
"Hey, how many bones did you break?"
"That nurse Noona said you fell from a skyscraper."
"Can you even use your arms now? I know a girl who can't."
Kids were annoying, Yoo Joonghyuk decided. He didn't have an opinion before, but now he did.
He would not like having to interact with the kids.
The scrawny one leaning on crutches had his head down, not responding at all to the barrage of
curious questions. Yoo Joonghyuk could understand, he wouldn't want to answer them either. And
what kind of questions were they even?
Usually, he wouldn't have said anything and would have walked away. Perhaps it was pity, or
maybe he wanted to flex the superiority he had as the older one. Honestly, he wasn't sure what it
was. But he opened his mouth and snapped, "Hey, scram."
The kids looked up, startled at such a harsh tone. Yoo Joonghyuk's dark glare did not do anything
to raise their confidence either.
"Stop blocking the way and go somewhere else."
With a few scowls and promises to tell the adults, the kids turned tail and ran away. Except for one.
It was probably owing to his crutches that he couldn't follow his friends. With a sigh, the scrawny
child shuffled his footing, adjusted his crutches and moved away from the wall.
"Aren't you leaving?" Yoo Joonghyuk said, his voice a smidge patronizing. This is why he didn't
want friends. What did kids know? They had left their friend at the first sign of adversity.
"Go after your friends instead of blocking the way."
The boy barely tilted his head in Yoo Joonghyuk's direction and then let out a soft sigh. If it were
anyone but Yoo Joonghyuk they would have probably missed the quiet little huff the smaller boy
had given.
"Annoying," he had said in a breeze-like whisper.
Yoo Joonghyuk blinked. Words fell out of his mouth before he knew it, his surprise at being
chided by a ten-year-old did nothing to help him keep his thoughts to himself.
"Oi, what did you say?"
The boy didn't deem his question as needing an answer and slowly walked away.
Yoo Joonghyuk stared after the kid's retreating back. Were all kids assholes these days? He didn't
really interact with younger children so wasn't sure how they acted. He didn't interact with people
his age either, but that was neither here nor there.
His already sour mood falling further, Joonghyuk went back to his trudge to find the nearest exit
and get out onto the huge outdoor area for the patients they had at the hospital.
He was not supposed to meet the boy again, at least, not according to his calculations. The kid
probably hung around the paediatric ward, which was meant for kids who needed adult
supervision.
Or that's where he was supposed to be.
It surprised Yoo Joonghyuk to see the kid wobble towards the bed next to his.
"What are you doing here?" he asked when the boy sat on the hospital bed and put his crutches
away. The boy looked up, surprised, probably not having expected someone to talk to him. After
all, Yoo Joonghyuk had never spoken to him before.
A few seconds of silence passed between them.
"Aren't you going to answer?" Joonghyuk had to press and the boy finally opened his mouth.
"This is my bed," he said, his voice just as quiet as it had been back then. Yoo Joonghyuk almost
missed it again.
The heavy curtains between their two beds were usually drawn shut, hiding each other from view.
It simply happened to be open today and that had led to their interaction.
Now that he thought about it, he had heard the nurses talk in soft, crooning voices to the patient
resting to his right. He believed that it was because the person had a concussion or something or
needed extra attention.
Well, looking at the kid, he probably needed extra attention. He could see the white bandages
peeking through the boy's pale blue and white striped hospital gown.
When Yoo Joonghyuk said nothing more, the boy reached out for the curtains and with trembling
hands attempted to draw them shut.
It was a pitiful sight.
"What are you trying to do?"
Another one of Joonghyuk's questions was ignored. The audacity, honestly!
Clicking his tongue in annoyance, Yoo Joonghyuk grabbed the heavy satin cloth, causing the boy's
hand to slide off it. Joonghyuk yanked it close, hiding the boy from view and that was about it.
That afternoon, Yoo Joonghyuk heard that nice nurse talking to the little boy again.
"Do you want to do something?"
The boy didn't answer, but Joonghyuk supposed he had shaken his head or whispered like before,
because the nurse asked, "Then, do you want to go for a walk?"
No response again.
"Dokja-yah," the nurse said patiently. "You have to try walking now. It will be good for you."
Dokja?
What a strange name.
Yoo Joonghyuk turned his attention back to the phone in his hands and resumed scrolling through
the article he was reading. It was about some online scam. He read these so that he was aware of
all the nonsense that happened on the internet. Joonghyuk was online a lot, and the situation
compelled him to cross paths with different people. The anonymity that the internet provided was
obviously concerning and Yoo Joonghyuk refused to get caught in a stupid scam.
There was some shuffling from the other end and Yoo Joonghyuk stopped reading for a second. It
seemed that 'Dokja' decided to listen to the nurse and stretch his legs.
Whatever, Yoo Joonghyuk didn't care.
A couple of days later, Yoo Joonghyuk decided that Dokja was some kind of trouble magnet. The
kid seemed to drag in all the misfortunes of this world.
It started with the boy almost choking to death on his soup, forcing Yoo Joonghyuk to call the
nurses out of pure concern for the wheezing boy, hidden by the cream curtains to the right.
On an occasion when Yoo Joonghyuk was leaving for some fresh air, he spotted Dokja. The
elevator was full by the time the kid managed to reach it, and instead of waiting like a normal
person, the kid decided to take the stairs. Yoo Joonghyuk huffed out in incredulity. Kids were
stupid. Honestly, the elevator would be back in a few minutes. Stairs were a difficult endeavour,
considering how he had to use two crutches to even walk.
But Dokja braved on, and much to Yoo Joonghyuk's alarm, the boy almost fell down the flight of
stairs. He would have even, if Yoo Joonghyuk hadn't made a grab for him.
Dokja hung limply by his pale hospital garb which was clutched in Yoo Joonghyuk's grasp. His
crutches clattered down the stairs pathetically.
"Do you even use your brain?" Yoo Joonghyuk hissed out. "Can't you wait?"
He put Dokja back onto the ground, being sure to be gentle.
The shorter boy looked up at him for the first time. His dark hair fell over his eyes and Yoo
Joonghyuk could barely see his eyes glittering behind the mop of hair.
Grumbling, Yoo Joonghyuk limped down the stairs himself to fetch Dokja's crutches.
"What kind of dumbass decides to take the stairs?" he chided, handing the walking aids back to the
startled boy.
". . .You just did," Dokja said, this time, his voice louder than Yoo Joonghyuk had ever heard it
before.
"I'm not an idiot like you," Joonghyuk scoffed as Dokja scrambled to hold onto his crutches
properly. "Just wait for the elevator to come back up. Or go to the one on the other side."
"Sorry," Dokja muttered, his voice falling again and Yoo Joonghyuk did not like that. He wanted
to ask him to speak up, but decided instead to say, "Watch where you are going."
Dokja did not be careful next time, the little shit.
Yoo Joonghyuk spotted him near the vending machine, fiddling with the buttons and somehow, the
machine creaked and began falling right onto the little boy. Yoo Joonghyuk would have been a
witness to death if he hadn't managed to yank Dokja back by his collar before the machine crashed
to the floor, alerting almost everyone in the vicinity.
"What the fuck are you doing?" Yoo Joonghyuk growled.
"Sorry," Dokja muttered again, causing Joonghyuk to huff out in exasperation.
Another time, Joonghyuk almost saw the boy shuffle out of the way of a patient in a wheelchair,
almost hitting his head on the wall behind him. Was the kid cursed or something? Or was he just
that careless?
Whatever it was, Yoo Joonghyuk felt it was a hazard to the world to let this kid go about
unsupervised.
"Why are you stalking me?" Dokja asked when Yoo Joonghyuk got out of bed, noticing that the
nurse had come to prod Dokja to take a walk again. Joonghyuk figured out, over the days, that
Dokja was almost all recovered, but he just refused to move out of bed unless someone came and
annoyed him to move.
"Shut up," Yoo Joonghyuk glared at the tiny boy who had stopped before him. "I'm going for a
walk. Why would I stalk you?"
Dokja eyed him suspiciously for a few seconds, before resuming his journey to the elevator that
would take them to the ground floor. Yoo Joonghyuk followed him.
Dokja didn't speak again until they reached the open area, filled with patients in the same pale blue
and white striped hospital gowns.
"You are following me then," he said.
"Are you stupid?" Yoo Joonghyuk scoffed. He was indeed following Dokja, out of sheer concern.
How did Dokja manage to get in trouble every time? And it always happened when Yoo
Joonghyuk was around him. Joonghyuk wondered what sort of accidents the kid would get into
when Joonghyuk wasn't around to save his ass.
The boy sighed and went back to ignoring Yoo Joonghyuk who was still walking a few steps
behind Kim Dokja.
Kim Dokja's usual spot to get some fresh air after the nurses forced him out was an area in the
farthest corner of the area. A bench is hidden out of plain sight by the shadow of the huge
building.
Yoo Joonghyuk felt the inescapable urge to sigh again. This fool.
"You should sit somewhere else," he said.
Kim Dokja seemed to take great offence to this. "I always sit here. You go somewhere else."
Yoo Joonghyuk felt his eyebrow twitch. "Use honorifics, you brat."
"I don't talk respectfully to bullies," Dokja shot back.
Yoo Joonghyuk stared at the boy. Bully?
"What are you saying?" Yoo Joonghyuk almost lost his cool. "You're being bullied? By who?"
Dokja looked at him like he was an idiot and Joonghyuk almost punched a child.
"You, you bastard," Kim Dokja sneered.
Yoo Joonghyuk had been called a lot of things over the years, ranging from 'burden' to 'handsome
loner'. But never a bully. Sure, he'd punched a few annoying fuckers, but he had never bullied
anyone in his entire life.
"The fuck are you saying?" he growled and Kim Dokja flinched, but he stood his ground, fiercely
glaring at Joonghyuk. It wasn't very intimidating. He was a small, scrawny kid on crutches, with a
pale, sickly pallor and hair that desperately needed a trim. Fear was not the emotion he evoked, it
was more pity with a hint of amusement.
"Y-You keep stalking me—"
"I'm not stalking you!"
"You insult me every time I try to eat—"
When did he ever do that?
"You grab my neck and choke me—"
What bullshit was this brat saying?
"You yell at me every time you see me and won't let me use the vending machine at all," Dokja
was still complaining. "Why do you keep following me just to pick on me, you asshole? See, even
now you're trying to kick me out of my spot. Does it make you feel big and strong, picking on
someone?"
"Kim Dokja, do you want to die?" Yoo Joonghyuk snarled.
"Try me, fucker!" the child threatened back.
If he wasn't as tiny, Yoo Joonghyuk would have totally given the kid a punch. He needed his
senses knocked in. Deciding to be reasonable as the older of the two, Yoo Joonghyuk reached his
hand out and flicked Kim Dokja's forehead.
The kid let out a pained gasp, almost toppling backwards and falling. Yoo Joonghyuk grabbed the
front of his shirt and held him in place.
Then it clicked. . .Ah, so that's what he was talking about. It wasn't Yoo Joonghyuk's fault! He had
only one free hand and in the situations he was put in, couldn't afford to be a nice gentleman. He
was trying to save the boy from getting hurt, he didn't expect to be misunderstood.
Closing his eyes and thinking of Murim dumplings to calm down, Yoo Joonghyuk released Dokja.
"Don't talk big if you can't put your mouth where your money is," he said calmly.
"You're wrong," said Kim Dokja.
"What?"
"Put your money where your mouth is, not what you said."
Joonghyuk's ears burned.
"I meant what I said," he said coolly, keeping his composure, as though he hadn't just said
something stupid in front of a ten-year-old.
"Stop pretending to be cool. You look stupid," said Kim Dokja.
"You are a kid, what do you know?"
"More than you apparently."
Kim Dokja, Yoo Joonghyuk realised, was a smartmouthed asshole.
But he was still stupid.
"You thought I was bullying you, fool."
It did not salvage Joonghyuk's dignity as he had hoped.
"Are you as stupid as you are tall?" Kim Dokja said, still glaring up at him. "Because you were."
"I was trying to save you," Yoo Joonghyuk argued back.
"Oh, yeah."
"Oh, yeah, you stupid brat."
Kim Dokja opened his mouth angrily, and then he froze. He seemed to have realised something
because his cheeks tinged pink with embarrassment.
". . .Stop trying to steal my spot," the boy said quietly, refusing to meet Yoo Joonghyuk's eyes, the
previous fire and spite having fizzled away.
"I told you to use honorifics."
"Go sit somewhere else," Kim Dokja said, much more polite this time. "This is my spot, Joonghyuk
hyung."
Yoo Joonghyuk stared down at the boy. It didn't sound too bad. Good.
"How do you know my name?" was what he said instead.
Kim Dokja's eyes flitted to him, incredulous. "It's written on the card on your bed. I'm not stupid."
"Are you sure about that?"
Kim Dokja glared at him, then looked away quickly.
"Sit somewhere else," said Yoo Joonghyuk, deciding to bring back the more important topic.
Seeing Kim Dokja's scandalized expression, he elaborated. "There's no sunlight here."
"I know. It's nice," said Kim Dokja.
"Are you a ghost?" Yoo Joonghyuk countered. "You need sunlight. You look like a corpse."
Kim Dokja murmured something under his breath and this time Joonghyuk did not catch it. But he
supposed it was some snarky reply anyway, so glared at the younger boy until he conceded and
Yoo Joonghyuk had to drag him away for a walk in the sunlight at least, before returning to the
cool spot.
After that day's incident, the spot soon became of their spot. Along with other changes in their
relationship.
Kim Dokja wasn't too bad, and Yoo Joonghyuk didn't mind having a little dongsaeng. It was very
amusing. The curtains that were drawn between their two beds now were always open, pushed to
the side. Meals were eaten together, went for their daily walks together, and spent almost all the
time with each other.
Yoo Joonghyuk learnt more about Kim Dokja. He was a very quiet child generally, even though he
had a very smart mouth that would give Joonghyuk the urge to punt the kid. Dokja, true to his
name, was an ardent reader. Fantasy and science fiction were his favourites, for some reason, he
just loved settings with an apocalypse.
Kim Dokja used to read on his phone with a cracked screen until Yoo Joonghyuk caved in and gave
his phone instead. He had a switch to play his games anyway. He had tried his hand at reading web
novels, curious about the things that snatched away all of Kim Dokja's attention. Half a chapter in,
Yoo Joonghyuk was of the opinion that Kim Dokja wasn't supposed to be reading such books.
They weren't for his age at all!
They got into a scuffle because of that. It wasn't a very serious fight, but Yoo Joonghyuk had very
sternly asked Kim Dokja to stop reading things that weren't for his age. There was way too much
violence and gore and offensive language. How was this thing even published, seriously? He kept
Kim Dokja from reading the next chapter and this pissed Kim Dokja so much that he threatened to
throw Yoo Joonghyuk's switch out of the window.
They had to be stopped by the nurses and forced to make up with each other.
Yoo Joonghyuk was rather mad at Kim Dokja, even planning on giving him the silent treatment
but he changed his mind when the nurse who always spoke nicely to Kim Dokja pulled him aside
with a bright smile.
Instead of getting reprimanded, Yoo Joonghyuk got praised.
"Our Joonghyukkie is doing so well," the nurse had said, ruffling Yoo Joonghyuk's hair.
Joonghyuk almost slapped the hand away, if it was not for the respect he had for health care
providers. And this nurse was actually nice, so he held it in and resorted to scowling.
"Dokja is doing so much better now that you've become friends."
Yoo Joonghyuk felt some of his anger fading. The nurse continued on about how Kim Dokja was
hurting in his heart and how Joonghyuk was helping him with it.
When Yoo Joonghyuk asked Kim Dokja if he had a heart disease, Kim Dokja shook his head and
that's when Joonghyuk realised that the nurse wasn't talking about it in the literal sense. Yeah, and
if Kim Dokja did have heart disease, he would be in a different ward with other patients who had
cardiac troubles.
"Where are your parents?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked one day as they said in their spot, Joonghyuk's
eyes focused on his switch and Kim Dokja reading his novels.
"Not around," Kim Dokja replied. Joonghyuk felt the boy look away from his novel to gauge
Joonghyuk's reaction. Then seemingly satisfied, Kim Dokja returned to his novels.
Yoo Joonghyuk did not pity Kim Dokja for having no parents around. He couldn't care less about
it. The only reason he had asked was because he happened to almost throw punches at a grown
couple. Kim Dokja's aunt and uncle were fucking rude and if murder wasn't a crime with heavy
consequences, Yoo Joonghyuk would have committed homicide right there in the hospital.
He was glad that Kim Dokja hadn't been there to see his outburst. The boy had gone for a check-up
when his relatives came and they did not have anything nice to say.
"What about yours, hyung?"
"Not around either," Joonghyuk said.
"You live with your relatives too?" Kim Dokja asked.
"With my master."
"Master?"
"Mmh."
Kim Dokja seemed to see Yoo Joonghyuk in a whole new light when he told him about his master,
Namgung Minyoung who taught him martial arts and a few other things.
"I can teach you how to fight if you want," Yoo Joonghyuk offered. It sounded like a good idea.
"You could use some exercise."
"With that?" Kim Dokja said, nodding at Joonghyuk's broken limb.
"I can still kick your ass," Yoo Joonghyuk shot back.
"Obviously," Kim Dokja droned. "I can't learn fighting like this anyway."
That was true. Kim Dokja was still too injured to actually train, but Yoo Joonghyuk was just
putting the offer out there.
"Yoo Joonghyuk, you son of a bitch!"
Kim Dokja's yell caught Yoo Joonghyuk's attention.
"What did you just say?" Yoo Joonghyuk said, angered by the disrespect especially since he had no
idea what he had done for Kim Dokja to behave so rudely.
"You lying bastard," Kim Dokja snapped. "Was it fun? Did you enjoy tricking me all this time, you
fucker?"
"What the fuck are you talking about?"
"Hey, use honorifics, asshole."
"What?"
"I'm older than you, you dumb bastard. And you forced me to call you 'hyung' for weeks when you
were the one supposed to call me 'hyung'."
Yoo Joonghyuk stared at the kid, wondering if he had gotten into another accident and hit his head.
Kim Dokja continued swearing at him, sweating informally now, all the previous respectful tone
gone down the drain.
In a lot of confusion, swearing and grumbling, Yoo Joonghyuk discovered that Kim Dokja was
indeed older than him. Honestly, he found it very tough to digest. He was likely to accept the sun
rising in the west more than this.
Kim Dokja was fifteen. A few months older than him too, at that.
"I thought you were ten," the words had left his mouth when he saw Kim Dokja's identification
card.
"Hah!?"
"You're tiny! It's not my fault!" Yoo Joonghyuk defended himself.

"Bullshit!" Kim Dokja snarled. "You're a big idiot, that's what you are!"
The day Kim Dokja met Namgung Minyoung was a very fun day for Yoo Joonghyuk.
"So you're the kid Joonghyuk keeps talking about," his master had said and Kim Dokja was still
gaping at her imposing height.
"What a cute kid," Namgung Minyoung smiled and placed a hand on Kim Dokja's tiny hand,
patting it. Yoo Joonghyuk had to shove his master's hand off Dokja's head before the little boy
actually collapsed under the pressure. His master could be a bit rough, Kim Dokja wouldn't survive
that.
Yoo Joonghyuk thought that Kim Dokja would be awkward in front of his master, all things taken
into account. But the boy's curiosity had won out in the end and he seemed to get along very well
with Namgung Minyoung, even to the point of actually asking questions. Kim Dokja barely did this
to anyone else. He even asked Yoo Joonghyuk things tentatively. Worst of all, he was asking his
master about Yoo Joonghyuk's embarrassing moments.
"Why?" Dokja was saying when Namgung Minyoung told him about how Joonghyuk's senior had
to be left outside and couldn't be brought into the hospital.
"Because she's a dog," Yoo Joonghyuk said exasperatedly.
"Master's your senior," his master chided and Kim Dokja seemed to perk up at that. Yes, just what
he needed. For Kim Dokja to tease him about being a junior to a dog. But he hadn't met Breaking
the Sky Sword Master anyway. What did he know?
"Why're you here anyway?" Yoo Joonghyuk said and his master turned to him.
"To let you know that you have to come home soon," Namgung Minyoung said. "Did you forget
about it now that you've made your first friend?"
"I'm not stupid," Yoo Joonghyuk grumbled. He had forgotten about that fact. Even though he
complained every day about how stifling it was in the ward, how he disliked all the fussing and
how the hospital food was the absolute worst and should be considered a crime, the crucial fact
that he would eventually have to leave the hospital had slipped his mind. And since Kim Dokja
required more treatment than him, Joonghyuk would be the one to leave first.
Kim Dokja sat a bit more stiffly in his bed and the reaction did not miss Yoo Joonghyuk's hawk-
like gaze.
"The doctor said I have to still stay for a few more days," Yoo Joonghyuk said, looking pointedly
at his master, hoping she would get the message. "Check-ups. Did you even talk to the doctors?"
His master's eyebrows twitched a bit, but luckily, she caught on and let out a heavy sigh.
"I know that. I wanted you to know that as well."

Namgung Minyoung left a while later, after pressing a few red hairclips into Kim Dokja's hands.
The boy seemed lost as to what to do with the items.
"You need to get a haircut," Yoo Joonghyuk said to break the stuffy silence. "I can't even see your
face."
"It's not that long," Kim Dokja huffed.
"I can barely see half your face."
"Don't exaggerate. It doesn't even cover one-fourth of my face. Half, my ass."
"Come here," Yoo Joonghyuk said, the same commanding way he always used. Kim Dokja
grumbled. The boy did that often now after he found out that he was actually the older one among
the two. But Yoo Joonghyuk wasn't going to change his way of speaking and refused Kim Dokja's
demands of calling him 'Hyung'. Yoo Joonghyuk would much rather punch himself in the face.
"Kim Dokja," Yoo Joonghyuk said warningly and still grumbling, Kim Dokja shuffled forwards
from where he was seated in his bed. It was still not close enough so Yoo Joonghyuk had to get up
from his own to sit beside Kim Dokja.
"Give that," he said taking the clips from Kim Dokja's hand.
"Is a dog really your senior?" asked Kim Dokja.
You Joonghyuk only frowned and Kim Dokja took this as an answer, snickering.
"Does she fight well? Your senior?"
"Shut up, Kim Dokja."
Yoo Joonghyuk parted the hair that fell onto Kim Dokja's face and brushed them away from his
eyes, parting them exactly in half. Kim Dokja squeezed his eyes shut at the contact.
"What? It's a genuine question."
"I'm sure even she can kick your ass," Yoo Joonghyuk said, snapping a hairclip onto one side.
"How tall is your master?" Kim Dokja continued, deciding not to comment on Yoo Joonghyuk's
declaration. He probably knew it was true as well.
"Not sure," Yoo Joonghyuk replied.
"I think she was taller than two metres," Kim Dokja said in an excited whisper as Yoo Joonghyuk
clicked the other hairclip, effectively pulling away all the hair and preventing them from falling
into Kim Dokja's eyes anymore.
"Which martial arts does she teach?"
"It's called Breaking the Sky Swordsmanship."
Kim Dokja gasped, his eyes snapping open. "You know how to use a sword?!"
Words died down in Yoo Joonghyuk's throat. The reply should have been simple enough, he was
yet to learn how to actually use swords and he doubted that he would ever actually use a real
sword. He also understood why this dazzled Kim Dokja, the protagonists in his web novels were
often swordsmen.
But somewhere along the way, from his brain to his mouth, the words dissolved into something
strange that made his throat dry.
Kim Dokja had eyes that reminded Yoo Joonghyuk of stars with the way they glinted.
"Have you ever held a real sword?" Kim Dokja was saying. "Hmm, I don't think you would have.
Your master wouldn't want you to get hurt."
Yoo Joonghyuk almost let out a snort. His master didn't care about him getting hurt while training.
. .But she still didn't think he ought to hold a real sword anytime soon.
"Breaking the Sky Swordsmanship," Kim Dokja muttered as Yoo Joonghyuk pulled away and
moved back to his bed.
"Why's it called that?" Kim Dokja asked. "Is it to sound cool?"
Yoo Joonghyuk sent him a withering glare, but it had zero effect on Kim Dokja.
"It means to not let even the heavens be above you," Yoo Joonghyuk said to satisfy the other boy's
curiosity. "Break the Sky means to expand, blossom, flood. To not hide yourself."
Kim Dokja's eyes were glinting in what Yoo Joonghyuk could only describe as awe.
Yoo Joonghyuk felt his ears heat up at the gaze directed at him. He had only repeated what his
master had told him before, but Kim Dokja didn't need to know that.
"Joonghyuk-ak," Kim Dokja said slowly. "You sounded totally like a protagonist just now. Super
cool." The boy gave him a weak thumbs up with a wonky grin and Joonghyuk felt the warmth
travel down to his neck.
"Stop saying nonsense," Yoo Joonghyuk said, pretending his neck wasn't burning. "You look
stupid," he decided to redirect his attention instead.
Kim Dokja did look stupid, with his hair parted right down the middle and plastered to the sides of
his forehead, a few strands sticking out here and there due to Yoo Joonghyuk's lack of experience
using hairclips.
Kim Dokja gave a start and grabbed his phone before staring at his reflection on the dark screen.
Then he scowled at Yoo Joonghyuk, swearing and yanking the hairclips off his head as Yoo
Joonghyuk snorted at the idiot.
Their farewell had been abrupt, completely different from Yoo Joonghyuk's expectations.
Joonghyuk had planned a cheerful parting, where he would exchange numbers with Kim Dokja,
promising to keep in touch. kim Dokja would probably cry because he was leaving and Yoo
Joonghyuk would be cool as usual. Maybe, if Kim Dokja wasn't very sad, he was even planning on
joking about how he was actually the 'hyung' here just because he was more mentally mature.
He would never say it out loud, but his master had been right. Kim Dokja was indeed his first-ever
friend.
Well, not exactly a friend. He just felt responsible to take care of that clumsy fool who didn't know
how to take care of himself. And a 'friend' was the easiest label that enabled him to do that. It was
just a matter of convenience, really. (Namgung Minyoung had snorted and hit her smoking pipe on
his head when he explained this to her, but what did she know anyway.)
But the morning when Yoo Joonghyuk went back to the ward he had occupied all this time,
expecting Kim Dokja to be there as usual, the boy was missing.
Kim Dokja didn't have a lot of belongings, just his phone and a tattered little wallet which he
carried everywhere, so Yoo Joonghyuk couldn't tell if he had been moved or if he was just hiding
from the goodbye.
Yoo Joonghyuk tried asking the nurses who knew both him and Kim Dokja and they said
something about the smaller boy having to go for some check-up which would take way too long.
Years later Yoo Joonghyuk would often wonder if he should have not given in to his adolescence-
fueled irritation and impulse and left a few minutes later. If he should have waited for Kim Dokja
to return, no matter how long it took; he didn't have much to do anyway. He couldn't even be sure
if the little note with his contact number scribbled on had ever reached Kim Dokja's hands.
Anything could have happened to that piece of paper, he wouldn't have even the slightest idea.
But Kim Dokja never contacted him after that.

Chapter 2
Chapter Notes
How many chapters will this fic have? No fucking clue.

What about chapter summaries? I am sleep deprived. I'm posting this as I write and
have no clue again, it's a shot in the dark. Please bear with me.
Besides, Simphyuk incoming.
Enjoy.
There's often a point in life where living reaches a certain mundanity. It's natural, it's normal, pretty
much like ageing, where life just reaches its maturity. And from there, it is simply monotonous.
Yoo Joonghyuk found this mundanity pretty early; when his peers seemed to be going through
turbulent times and throes of childhood and adolescence, he had already set into a dull, well-oiled
machine of daily life.
He never knew his parents all that well and over the years whatever he knew faded away because
he never revisited those memories. From his vague memories where he couldn't even remember
the faces of the people who had given birth to him, he remembered the time he willingly went with
his master the best and how there hadn't been any active, desperate search to get him back.
That was good, he told himself. He didn't want to go back there anyway.
One thing the adults emphasised during high school was the future. Yoo Joonghyuk did not
complain like his peers about the struggles of a teenager, being crushed by expectations. He didn't
have a lot of people to 'crush him with expectations'. Namgung Minyoung said she would give him
a job as a cleaner slash instructor at her dojo with a handful of students if he did end up being
horrible at his studies and failed.
Yoo Joonghyuk had a different idea. He wanted to try his hand at gaming. He was pretty talented
at gaming and streaming seemed to make a lot of money and it did sound better, a hundred times
better to do something he liked and earn money instead of slaving away at some stupid
corporation.
Success caught up to Yoo Joonghyuk pretty quickly, much faster than it did to most people and as
his name became recognisable, he often wondered if that starry-eyed boy he had met a few years
back thought of him every now and then like he did as well.
He remember a conversation he had with Kim Dokja during their time at the hospital. Kim Dokja
had said something about him being really good at games and Yoo Joonghyuk disclosed that he
wouldn't mind being a pro-gamer.
"I'm sure you'll be big quick," Kim Dokja had said as though stating a fact. "I'm sure you'll make a
lot of money at a young age too. You're like a protagonist bastard with all the OP talent."
"Can't you talk normally?" Yoo Joonghyuk had said, glaring over the bland, tasteless hospital
lunch they were eating.
"I'll watch your games and support you if you start gaming," Kim Dokja had promised.
Of course, it was years ago and Yoo Joonghyuk knew that not all promises would be kept. Even
so, the confidence with which Kim Dokja had spoken in that day acted as some sort of talisman,
grounding him when got too caught up with all the highs and lows.
Whether the boy watched his streams, or if he hated gamers now because he had left without even
saying goodbye, was none of Yoo Joonghyuk's business anymore. He simply wanted to shine for
the friend he knew, the one that existed in his memories, the one who had grudgingly, with a pale
rouge tinting his cheeks said he might just look a little bit cool while he played games.
Yoo Joonghyuk did not end up having to work at his master's dojo. He was scouted due to his
rising popularity on the internet and signed a contract with a company. Life was suddenly much
more comfortable. He didn't even have to worry about his further studies, he just had to save up
now. He no longer had his parents to rely on. He didn't even know where they were.
Just as he was on the track to making it big, he was met with a huge obstacle, perhaps the biggest
one in his life.
A child left at his door with no explanation at all.
His sister apparently.
Yoo Joonghyuk was eighteen when he decided he was going to raise Yoo Mia.
What did an eighteen-year-old know? What could an eighteen-year-old do? How was he supposed
to raise a baby? And even as doubts ate him up, he refused to abandon Mia. She was his sister, and
he didn't mind having a cute little dongsaeng.
Popular media can't be trusted, that was a fact. It was entertaining, but that's about it. Not
something meant to be taken to heart. They sell adventures, they sell vibrancy to the point that your
own life begins to seem so criminally unfulfilled when compared to what you see. He understood
why Kim Dokja used to engross himself in fantasy novels. Yoo Joonghyuk gave reading a try, but
his life was busy as it was and he barely found time to read, soon putting it away as a failed
endeavour.
At twenty, Yoo Joonghyuk felt there was nothing left to his life except to follow his meticulously
made schedule. Take care of Mia, visit his master every now and then, and fulfil his role as a pro
gamer.
He wouldn't even have thought of going to university if it hadn't been for societal pressures, his
master's insistence and for Mia. Apparently having a degree would help him get very far in life,
even if it was practically a waste. He didn't really see the point in getting very far in life, he doing
fine as he was. But he had to do this for Mia. Having a degree made him look like a responsible
adult in front of the world, and that would help Mia in the future. He wanted to be a good older
brother for Mia and if suffering through a few years at a university, grumbling about the tuition
money he was paying was what it took, then that was that.
At twenty-one, he left his sister in his master's care to leave for college. He was twenty-two when
he decided to move out of the clunky dorms and find a private living space somewhere near
campus.
There were a lot of requirements to look for when buying a place to live, Yoo Joonghyuk learnt.
His master wasn't here to help him out and he did not want to reach out to her for such a silly
reason. If had to end up learning this some time or the other, might as well be now. At least now,
his mistakes wouldn't have heavy consequences. He didn't want to make any mistakes when Mia
was of the age to go to school and they would have to find another place.
He also had to take into account the ambience he needed in what would be his house. Proper
sound-proofing as well, for his streams. A good kitchen would be nice. No leaking plumbing,
creaking floorboards or faulty gas valves. Safety first.
And of course, there was the issue of budget.
The place that was closest to his dream house was an apartment that exceeded his budget slightly.
The agent suggested finding a roommate, students often did that and it worked well apparently.
Yoo Joonghyuk had to finally fold and give rooming with a stranger a go. But he insisted on
interviewing the applicants before finalising on the person who is supposed to share the bills that
pay to hold a roof over his head. It was not something that could be taken light-heartedly.
After rejecting so many people that he had lost count and the agent had lost patience, he was
forced to agree to the one the agent suggested. The agent assured me that this man he was
introducing was just fine, not problematic at all, and even a student at Yoo Joonghyuk's university.
His new roommate was late for their arranged meeting to discuss the details of the contract they
were signing.
The doorbell rang three minutes after their promised time and when Yoo Joonghyuk opened the
door with a disapproving glare he was met with a pale, slender man with a thin face and starry eyes
that reminded him of a sweet memory of his past that he rarely ever visited these days.
The man's lips had parted in surprise as he looked up at Yoo Joonghyuk and Joonghyuk supposed
he was recognised. His face was pretty famous on social media.
"You're late," Yoo Joonghyuk said pointedly.
"Ah," the man spoke, his voice soft. "I got lost trying to find the apartment."
Yoo Joonghyuk was not a man who took lightly to excuses, but supposing that he shouldn't scare
this stranger within the first sixty seconds of meeting, he moved away from the door, inviting him
inside by gesture. The man hovered at the door for a few seconds, before scurrying in after Yoo
Joonghyuk, slowly closing the door behind him.
"You must be Yoo Joonghyuk-ssi," the man was saying behind him as Yoo Joonghyuk lead the
way to the dining table where all the documents he had carefully compiled lay. Of course, he was
Yoo Joonghyuk. Who else was he supposed to be? The meeting had been arranged with Yoo
Joonghyuk. Was such unnecessary talking even required? Why people indulged in this was beyond
him. Why bother when they could get straight to the point and save effort and time?
"I'm Kim Dokja."

Yoo Joonghyuk's train of thought froze.
"A strange name," he said, immediately thinking of the boy from his early teens.
"I've heard that a lot," Kim Dokja said.
Kim Dokja was exactly as Agent Park had described him. A quiet guy, honest, preferred clear
boundaries and had no issues with Yoo Joonghyuk's rules of the house.
"No random house tours or anything," Kim Dokja had said with a small smile when Yoo
Joonghyuk mentioned his rules about keeping quiet while he was streaming and not having people
over without checking with him first.
"I don't do that," Yoo Joonghyuk said shortly.
Kim Dokja's smile widened. "It was a joke, Yoo Joonghyuk-ssi."
"What was so funny about that?" Yoo Joonghyuk deadpanned. Why he was entertaining this man
was beyond him. He just happened to have the same name as his childhood friend and here he was,
forgiving his impudence.
"I'm a fan, pro-gamer Yoo Joonghyuk-ssi," Kim Dokja said taking no offence to Yoo Joonghyuk's
dark scowl.
"So?"
A chuckle left Kim Dokja's lips and when he looked back at Yoo Joonghyuk, there was a
mischievous glint in his eyes, his eyebrows arching up.
"I did tell you that I'd watch your streams."
Yoo Joonghyuk stilled and Kim Dokja continued speaking.
"It's been a while, Joonghyuk-ah. Almost seven years, huh?"
Right. It had been almost seven years and the boy's face had begun fading in his mind. But now
that Kim Dokja sat in front of him, he could see a shadow of the little boy in the man. Only a sliver
though, just his eyes, everything else had changed beyond what Yoo Joonghyuk could have ever
imagined.
What he remembered to be a small face with baby fat clinging onto the cheeks had evened out into
something soft yet sharp. Kim Dokja had grown taller. Not as tall as Yoo Joonghyuk, but it was a
huge difference from their height difference when they were fifteen. Wide, round eyes had
narrowed and sharpened, though they still crinkled at the corners when he smiled. Yoo Joonghyuk
didn't remember the boy smiling often, it used to be a once in a blue moon occurrence, but here he
was; Kim Dokja had been smiling for almost all their conversation. He no longer had that soft,
quiet whisper of a voice. It was a steady, bold, sanguine kind of voice now.
"Kim Dokja?" he breathed out.
"The one and only," said Kim Dokja the corners of his lips rising in a faint smirk. "SNH, we were
in the same ward and hung out for around three months. You thought I was ten first and refused to
be respectful even though I was the older one."
Yoo Joonghyuk wondered why he was saying all this for a few seconds until it clicked that Kim
Dokja was trying to prove his identity.
"I know," Yoo Joonghyuk said. He thought for a second, then added, "I remember."
Kim Dokja seemed to brighten up at that and Yoo Joonghyuk realised that there had been a shadow
of uncertainty on his face until now.
How surprising. How interesting. How lucky that he got to meet a person he never thought he
would ever meet again after seven years.
Yoo Joonghyuk had a lot of questions to ask Kim Dokja, but for now, he had to settle the case of
their apartment.
Kim Dokja was the perfect roommate. He still read avidly and still had shitty skills when it came
to taking care of himself.
When Yoo Joonghyuk found out that Kim Dokja had been munching on convenience store lunches
as full meals, he almost socked the idiot in the face. Yoo Joonghyuk grumbled and decided he was
going to cook for Kim Dokja. It wouldn't take a lot of effort, he just had to make a little extra
portion when he cooked for himself. And Kim Dokja was a light eater, a concerningly light eater.
That seemed to be another habit that he hadn't changed.
"You can cook?" Kim Dokja asked, standing at the end of the counter, watching Yoo Joonghyuk
chop onions.
"It's an essential life skill, Kim Dokja," Yoo Joonghyuk replied. He could have just said a 'yes' and
left it at that, but he felt like reverting to their old habits of playful banters from back when they
were fifteen.
"It's worrying that you cannot cook."
"I can," Kim Dokja said indignantly.
"Instant noodles and microwave rice don't count."
"I know that you jerk."
"Boiled eggs don't count either."
"I'm going to punch you."
Yoo Joonghyuk snorted. "Try it then."
Kim Dokja might not be as scrawny as he used to be all those years ago, but taking on Yoo
Joonghyuk was still going to be a difficult task. Yoo Joonghyuk had a much larger frame than Kim
Dokja and Yoo Joonghyuk had trained in martial arts since he was a child.
Kim Dokja grumbled something about 'cocky protagonist bastards' and Yoo Joonghyuk couldn't
help the ends of his mouth from curling upwards.
When he said Kim Dokja was the perfect roommate, he meant perfect. It was almost crazy how
well they fit together.
Yoo Joonghyuk didn't leave the house often, and due to his work, he was mostly indoors. Kim
Dokja was an introvert as well and understood all of Yoo Joonghyuk's subconscious cues and
would try to make it accommodate both of them while still remaining in their own comfort zones.
Kim Dokja would fill in the parts Yoo Joonghyuk was missing to live properly.
If cooking was Yoo Joonghyuk's duty, grocery shopping was Kim Dokja's. Kim Dokja charted up a
schedule for the two of them to help with the cleaning of their shared living space. He kept his part
of the apartment clean would do his part of the dishes and laundry, never left any unnecessary
lights or electrical appliances on, was silent during Yoo Joonghyuk's streams and didn't bring any
rowdy friends to their place.
He was an even better friend and Yoo Joonghyuk was reminded of why he had taken such a liking
to the boy back then. Kim Dokja was understanding and supportive, but wouldn't hesitate to slam
down if Yoo Joonghyuk crossed a line. Conversation flowed easily with Kim Dokja. Yoo
Joonghyuk didn't even need to participate sometimes, Kim Dokja seemed to know exactly what he
needed at all times. If Kim Dokja was an empath, he was a crazy all-knowing one.
The older man would whip up something simple, like a fruit salad or other finger foods for Yoo
Joonghyuk to eat during his lengthier streaming sessions. Yoo Joonghyuk eventually got used to
Kim Dokja dragging him out of the apartment during the weekends, reminding him to take a
breather when things got busier.
"Yoo Joonghyuk, are you a shut-in? You shouldn't sit inside all the time," Kim Dokja would chide.
"You're the one to talk."
"At least I step outside every day."
"Yeah, because you've got to go to your part-time job. I work from home."
"Just shut up and come with me."
It came as a huge surprise when Kim Dokja offered to help him with his studies and assignments,
especially since Kim Dokja was a Literature major and had nothing to do with Computer Science.
He was even good at it! When Yoo Joonghyuk demanded an explanation, Kim Dokja sheepishly
admitted that he had read through Yoo Joonghyuk's school books because he got bored.
"You have your own books to read for class," Yoo Joonghyuk said, absolutely baffled at the entity
called Kim Dokja. Who even does that?
"Ever heard of procrastination?" Kim Dokja droned. He was hogging Yoo Joonghyuk's gaming
chair when he left for a short bathroom break and was now fiddling with Joonghyuk's work. He
couldn't even get mad because the editing Kim Dokja was doing to the assignment was making it
much better than it had been before.
"This is academic misconduct, you know," Yoo Joonghyuk said, giving up and leaning over Kim
Dokja's shoulder to read the words the shorter male was typing into the document.
"It's not if no one ever finds out," Kim Dokja said blithely. "What the point of me having skills if I
can't help you with it?"
Yoo Joonghyuk would never know how Kim Dokja said such things as though he was talking
about the weather and at the moment, he wasn't in a headspace to analyse the workings of Kim
Dokja's brilliant mind. He just hoped that Kim Dokja hadn't noticed the hitch in his breath.
Kim Dokja sat through Yoo Joonghyuk's rants about Yoo Mia. Joonghyuk knew that when he
started talking about his sister, he wouldn't be able to stop. His master had pointed it out and made
fun of his doting behaviour. But Kim Dokja listened to it all, and even saw all the pictures in Yoo
Joonghyuk's camera roll.
"She looks just like you," Kim Dokja chuckled. "I'm sure she will be just like you when she grows
up."
There was that tone again, one that made Yoo Joonghyuk want to believe Kim Dokja completely.
It was probably the confidence with which he said that.
"Is that an insult?" Yoo Joonghyuk said quickly.
"Don't be ridiculous," Kim Dokja rolled his eyes. "How's that an insult? Mia will probably be like
you, talented, smart and confident."
Here's the thing, Yoo Joonghyuk didn't really think he was any of those things. He wasn't
particularly talented, he just had a knack for a few things. He wasn't exactly smart, his grades were
average. And most of the time these days, he never felt confident. It was just a facade he kept on.
Yoo Joonghyuk glanced at the man sitting next to him on the sofa in their living room and noticed
that Kim Dokja was already looking at him. There were the faintest smiles on his face and Yoo
Joonhyuk felt his ears burn.
"It'd be nice if she knew how to communicate properly unlike her orabeoni, though," Kim Dokja
said cheekily, turning his attention back to Mia's baby photos on Yoo Joonghyuk's phone.
It was due to the maturity of age that he realised it was not just surprise or embarrassment that Yoo
Joonghyuk was feeling at the moment Especially with the way he was suddenly aware of the lack
of distance between the two of them and how he felt his heartbeat stutter.
Grudgingly, Yoo Joonghyuk decided to visit the topic he had long stuffed in the back of his head,
never opening it.
Yoo Joonghyuk wasn't interested in men, as far as he knew. But then again, he barely knew any
good people, let alone good men. It was just Kim Dokja.
Right, it had always been this fool.

In high school when a stupid person was brave enough to try to pester Joonghyuk until he said
something about his preferences, Yoo Joonghyuk had grudgingly looked around only to reach the
conclusion that none of them were as pretty as the boy he had met when he was fifteen.
He should have known then. Damn it.

Then there was the issue of Kim Dokja's preference. It wasn't exactly a conversation he could bring
up out of the blue over dinner. Yoo Joonghyuk's absolute lack of romance in his twenty-two years
of life didn't help either.
Goddamnit.
"Again?" Kim Dokja asked from his spot on the settee where he was curled up, probably reading
something on his phone as usual.
Yoo Joonghyuk closed the door of his room harder than he had wanted to in the rage and
frustration he was feeling.
"You heard that?" he grit out, hoping that Kim Dokja didn't misunderstand and caught onto the
slight undertone of anxiety Yoo Joonghyuk was actually feeling.
"You don't usually shout when speaking on the phone," Kim Dokja said casually, putting his phone
away and patting the empty space beside him on the settee.
Yoo Joonghyuk wasn't in the mood to sit down and ruminate over his misery; he wanted to stab
something instead. So he headed to the kitchen. He might as well find some firm vegetables that he
can cut up as he wished, he could take his frustrations out and be productive by meal-prepping at
the same time.
"Listen to me, Yoo Joonghyuk," Kim Dokja said and Yoo Joonhyuk heard some shuffling back in
the living room, followed by Kim Dokja's soft footsteps nearing him.
Leaning on the counter as Yoo Joonghyuk took out the bag of carrots, Kim Dokja said, "You
should really quit that shitty company of yours."
Kim Dokja was aware of the disagreements between Yoo Joonghyuk and the director of the
company that employed him. It had been going on for a couple of months now and was beginning
to reach a volcanic intensity.
Usually, Kim Dokja would give him space and not push the touchy subject, but for some reason
today he was being extra daft. Didn't he see that Yoo Joonghyuk didn't want to talk about it more
than required?
"You even said that you'd retire early if this keeps up," Kim Dokja braved on. Yoo Joonghyuk
placed the cutting board on the counter and got a few carrots out of the plastic bag they were in,
before moving to the kitchen sink to wash and peel them.
"I really think you should quit if it's stressing you out so much. You shouldn't have to keep
working at a place that gives no regard for your well-being. What's the point if you are not
happy?"
Yoo Joonghyuk could elaborate and even give an hour-long lecture about just how wrong and
naive Kim Dokja's views were. Happiness wasn't the point. It sure sounded nice and philosophical
but was rubbish. Happiness didn't put food on the table, clothes on his back and a roof over his
head. Besides, he also had to provide for Mia.
Mia was growing up fast and the expenditure would increase significantly in the next few years.
Yoo Joonghyuk didn't have the choice to be picky.
"I went through your contract," Kim Dokja was saying, indignant on his behalf. "They're
practically scamming you!"
"Why have you been touching my things?" Yoo Joonghyuk said sharply. "Keep your hands to
yourself, Kim Dokja."
"I was concerned, you idiot sunfish," Kim Dokja huffed. "You think I don't see just how much
sleep you are losing?"
"Stay out of my business. I don't need your concern."
Kim Dokja flinched ever so slightly at Yoo Joonghyuk's cold tone which was accompanied by him
bringing down the knife hard onto the cutting board, neatly splitting the carrot into two.
"I'm trying to help," Kim Dokja sighed. "Let me help you, Joonghyuk-ah."
"What can you even do?" Yoo Joonghyuk said testily. He was still miffed about Kim Dokja poking
his nose into his affairs, but the hint of pleading in his voice compelled Joonghyuk to give in.
Crushes sure were a shit ton of work.
"You quitting is the easiest option," Kim Dokja started.

Yoo Jooonghyuk did not let him continue with that stupid idea, "No."
"Okay," Kim Dokja relented. "I might have another idea. It's a bit of work though."
"No," Yoo Joonghyuk said sternly again. One, he wasn't sure what the fuck Kim Dokja's idea was,
but he did know that the man seemed to attract all sorts of trouble in the world. Two, Kim Dokja
was busy as it is, with his classes, studies, and his part-time job. Taking on more would be tough
for anyone. Yoo Joonghyuk wouldn't be surprised if Kim Dokja ended up collapsing at the end,
trying to do everything.
"You didn't even listen to me!" Kim Dokja cried, glaring at him. Yoo Joonghyuk pretended he
couldn't hear him over the slicing of the carrots.
"I don't need to listen to you to know that it will be a stupid idea," Yoo Joonghyuk grumbled back,
now neatly chopping the carrots into thin, long strips. "Make yourself useful and get me a box for
this instead of blabbing bullshit."
That earned Yoo Joonghyuk a sharp smack on the back of his head. It was surprisingly strong,
nearly knocking his face into the kitchen counter.
Yoo Joonghyuk dropped the knife onto the cutting board, spun around and grabbed Kim Dokja by
his collar, glaring at him. Kim Dokja glared back resolutely.
"Let go, you son of a bitch," Kim Dokja sneered out. Yoo Joonghyuk only clenched his jaw and
gripped tighter at the fabric of the smaller man's shirt.
"I'm telling you that I'll help you," Kim Dokja snapped at him. "Stop acting all haughty and just
accept help when it's given, you bastard. Not everyone's out to get you. At least not me."
"Does anything useful ever come out of your mouth, Kim Dokja?" Yoo Joonghyuk growled. Kim
Dokja always said nonsense that would send his heart into overdrive.
"Listen, man," Kim Dokja said clutching at Yoo Joonghyuk's hand and trying to pry it off his shirt.
"I have an idea. And I'm sure it'll work. Best part is you don't even need to do much. I'll take care
of it."
That was part of the problem, Yoo Joonghyuk thought.
"All you have to do is follow what I say and it'll be our victory."
Something about Kim Dokja considering Yoo Joonghyuk's troubles as 'theirs' made his stomach
lurch. It was practically a couple-thing. Did Kim Dokja have no sense? Did he go around talking
like this to everyone?
"Yoo Joonghyuk," Kim Dokja said softly, relaxing his hand on Yoo Joonghyuk's. "Trust me."
Yoo Joonghyuk suspected the asshole he was holding by the collar knew just how much control he
held over Yoo Joonghyuk and was using it to the fullest. Fucking jerk.
His grip on the shirt relaxed, allowing Kim Dokja to pull away and the man smirked back widely
at him. Yoo Joonghyuk had to hold back the urge to punch it off the man's face. He looked so
much like a scammer at that moment.
Two days later Yoo Joonghyuk wondered if Kim Dokja was actually a professional scammer.
Creating fake accounts, making up stories to stir up Yoo Joonghyuk's fans and lashing out at the
company director, giving Yoo Joonghyuk scripts to follow during his usual streams to gain more
supporters.
"We just need to spin a nice story that'll get everyone's attention," Kim Dokja had said, his eyes
sharp as he worked away on his laptop. He insisted on using his laptop and not Yoo Joonghyuk's
for an extra layer of caution or whatever he was on about.
"Trust me, Joonghyuk-ah, this'll work."
Not that Yoo Joonghyuk did not trust Kim Dokja, he had; but it still came as a shock when
whatever Kim Dokja had done managed to sack the director from the company. Yoo Joonghyuk
had never heard of something like that ever happening. A director being fired over a dispute with a
mere e-sports player? What had Kim Dokja even done?
"I told you, stories have power, Joonghyuk-ah. You just need to know how to use them," Kim
Dokja smiled.
"Should I be worried?" Yoo Joonghyuk said quietly, still reeling from the shock. "First academic
misconduct, now scamming the public. What next? Daylight bank robbery?"
"What are you even saying?" Kim Dokja scoffed. Honestly, Yoo Joonghyuk felt that if Kim Dokja
put his mind to it, he would be successful in robbing a bank.
"We should take the opportunity now to renew your contract," Kim Dokja said seriously, bringing
Joonghyuk out of daydreams about Kim Dokja committing crimes.
"Anything you want to add?"
Of course, Kim Dokja had managed to draft up demands for Yoo Joonghyuk, raising his part of the
pay ratio and asking for much more freedom as a content creator and a 'valuable asset to the
company'. He even gave Yoo Joonghyuk a run-through of what to do during the negotiations.
What did Kim Dokja even do to be so good at negotiations? All he did was read the whole day.
Kim Dokja was different like this when he was in his element. Shrewd, almost devious and
incredibly clever. It was a side Yoo Joonghyuk had never seen before and he would be lying if he
said he did not like this.
The Kim Dokja who liked to curl up on the sofa to read and got excited when he spoke about his
favourite stories was very cute. The Kim Dokja who was sly and astute with incredible insight was
very sexy.
He had fallen off the deep end, hadn't he? Fuck.

Chapter 3
Chapter Summary
SimpHyuk part2
Lezzz go~
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
"How'd it go?" Kim Dokja asked eagerly when Yoo Joonghyuk walked into their apartment in the
afternoon.
"Don't you have class today?" he said, taking his shoes off at the entrance.
"No, so how did it go?" Kim Dokja pressed on.
"You seemed pretty confident in the morning. What happened now?" Yoo Joonghyuk said, just to
see Kim Dokja get frustrated by all the gatekeeping.
"I am still confident," Kim Dokja said stubbornly. "I'm just waiting to hear it from your mouth."
"Did you eat lunch yet?" was what Yoo Joonghyuk said instead and Kim Dokja almost exploded.
Chuckling to himself, Yoo Joonghyuk made his way to his room to deposit his bag. Knowing Kim
Dokja, he wouldn't have had lunch, so they should get to that first.
He was waiting for him, a voice in Yoo Joonghyuk's head said. Kim Dokja was waiting eagerly for
him to return.
Yoo Joonghyuk's life did not lack domesticity. He had lived with his sister for nearly five years,
doing nearly the same things, taking care of the house and being the breadwinner. And even before
that, he just stayed with his master, cleaning the place, learning how to cook, buying groceries,
learning martial arts and studying. It was, in all ways of speaking, a domestic life.
But it was different with Kim Dokja. It felt as though something he didn't even know was missing
had clicked into place. And heavens knew he could get used to this.
"They agreed," Yoo Joonghyuk finally said when he had forced Kim Dokja into a chair at the
dining table and placed a plate of omurice in front of him, before taking his own seat across the
older man.
"Of course they did," Kim Dokja said proudly and Yoo Joonghyuk snorted. Kim Dokja had
probably been antsy all day, waiting for Yoo Joonghyuk to return with good news. Dumbass. If he
was so certain, why even worry?
Lunch was a pleasant event, with Kim Dokja asking Yoo Joonghyuk about his meeting with the
management to negotiate the terms of his new contract and Yoo Joonghyuk answering him
dutifully.
Dishes were Kim Dokja's responsibility that day and so he got to them. As Yoo Joonghyuk slid his
plate into the sink, he wondered if he should just do the dishes that day because he was in a good
mood and maybe force Kim Dokja to rest after all the work he had done for the past few weeks.
Kim Dokja calling his names pulled him out of his musings.
Yoo Joonghyuk tilted his head to the side to show that he was listening. Kim Dokja placed his
hand on his shoulder and wheeled him around to face him. Before Joonghyuk could so much as
raise his eyebrows curiously, Kim Dokja wrapped his arms around Yoo Joonghyuk, pulling him
into a hug.
"Well done, Joonghyuk-ah," he heard, breath fanning his neck and Yoo Joonghyuk took a few
seconds to actually process what was happening.
Kim Dokja was hugging him.
At first, his brain screeched to a halt. And then all at once it jumped to a start, whirring away. Yoo
Joonghyuk didn't consider himself to be an overthinker, he thought just the adequate amount. What
would thinking too much even accomplish? But here he was, literally unable to stop all the
concerns and questions that barged into his mind.
What did this mean? Physical touch between them wasn't weird, per se. They didn't hug normally,
sure; in fact, this was the first time they had touched each other for so long. It was usually done in
playful punches and slaps on the head, shoulders bumping occasionally when they walked past
each other in the tiny kitchen. Or that time when Kim Dokja would look over his shoulder at Yoo
Joonghyuk's computer screen, sometimes resting his chin on his head even, vague high-fives Yoo
Joonghyuk would give with reluctance.
Not a hug though. And certainly not one that lasted for so long.
Only when Kim Dokja had pulled away did Yoo Joonghyuk realise that he had brought his arms
around Kim Dokja to cling onto him. For an embarrassingly long time.
Was he touch-starved? Is that why he acted like that? When was the last time he'd actually been
engaged in a hug, receiving or giving? Of course, he held Mia, but that was different from this.
It was a strange discovery.
Kim Dokja wasn't looking at him and had already pushed him away from the sink to do the dishes.
Did he notice? Did he think that Yoo Joonghyuk was pathetic for almost collapsing because of a
single hug? Did he hear his heartbeat? Yoo Joonghyuk wouldn't be surprised if he actually heard it,
it was beating away like a drum. Did he figure it out?
Oh, fuck. . .Did Kim Dokja find out that Yoo Joonghyuk was crushing bad on him? Did he hate it?
Did he hate Joonghyuk? Was he going to keep his distance now? Was he going to move out? Or
just vanish like last time?
Yoo Joonghyuk continued wallowing in his miserable thoughts for a couple more days until it
became clear that Kim Dokja wasn't leaving anytime soon. In fact, he acted like 'The Hug' had
never happened, like it was just another Tuesday dinner.
Now Yoo Joonghyuk felt like an idiot. Of course, it didn't mean all that much. He was just
overthinking it. It was probably a causal thing for Kim Dokja, like handshakes or shoulder touches.
A sequel to 'The Hug' didn't happen again.
At least not until the end of the year. They were sitting on the settee in the living room, sipping on
cheap beers and talking quietly. Neither of them was the kind to go out to clubs and bars to
celebrate the end of the year, so they sat at home, enjoying each other's company.
Kim Dokja had put his phone away, as in physically put it away; which might as well have been a
miracle. Kim Dokja never left his phone anywhere; it was always in his hands, and charged near
his head while he slept. If he was doing something that required both hands, then it was in his
pocket so that he could pull it out the second he was free to use his hands. He even had portable
chargers in his bag if he ever went out. He was seriously addicted to that thing, it was concerning.
Well, maybe it wasn't as strange as Yoo Joonghyuk leading the conversation. Yoo Joonghyuk
wanted to blame the alcohol he was drinking, and if Kim Dokja asked that would be his answer, but
he knew for a fact that he wasn't drunk yet. Not even tipsy. It was just that Kim Dokja was getting
drunk by the moment, and had fallen eerily quiet so Yoo Joonghyuk felt the need to fill in the
silence.
Kim Dokja had a weird look in his drowsy eyes, and for some reason, it felt ominous. Like silence
would end up swallowing Kim Dokja whole.
Yoo Joonghyuk didn't mind though. Pretty fucking strange, but he did not mind that he was being
made to talk. It was his decision after all. He was even spilling his worries out. He'd never done
that before.
Words fell out of his mouth and Kim Dokja listened. It was nice.
"Do you want me to help you?" Kim Dokja said when Yoo Joonghyuk finished lamenting about
his upcoming exams.
So he was actually listening and comprehending, huh? Kim Dokja's pale face was very flushed so
Yoo Joonghyuk had assumed that he was just hearing some strange buzzing, drunk off his wits.
Kim Dokja's voice was soft now, slow and ever so slightly slurred owing to the alcohol in his
system.
"No," Yoo Joonghyuk shook his head. Kim Dokja had his own things to do. Finals week wasn't
just approaching Yoo Joonghyuk, Kim Dokja had to face the same dreadful incident as well.
"It won't take long," Kim Dokja insisted. "I can help you."
He really didn't need Kim Dokja's help. Yoo Joonghyuk wasn't expecting to get the highest scores
or anything of that sort, but he was sure he wouldn't fail and that was enough. He didn't need much
anyway. He was just saying about how he disliked having to study to reach the 'not fail' mark. Yoo
Joonghyuk was particular about a lot of things when he was playing, but studies, not that much.
"All you have to do is ask, Yoo Joonghyuk," said Kim Dokja looking right into his eyes.
The only light in the house was the one in the living room and Yoo Joonghyuk was suddenly aware
of how tiny their settee actually was. They were practically pressed up against each other. It hadn't
been a problem until now, he hadn't thought about it until now.
But when Kim Dokja spoke like that, he was suddenly very aware of the man. Very aware of
everything he did, every slow breath he drew, every drowsy blink, his hand curled around the cold
can of beer, his fingers running along the side, rubbing the glimmering droplets of condensation on
the metal.
"Ask me and I'll give it to you."
Yoo Joonghyuk chugged the rest of his drink, then snatched another can, popped it open and
emptied it as well.
He was not drunk, and that's why he could keep his mouth shut and all his thoughts to himself. He
dreaded to think what he would have done if he had actually been drunk.
He was not drunk, but he was trying to get drunk. He was not equipped to deal with his sober. Kim
Dokja either knew exactly what he was doing or needed to be strictly supervised because it was not
okay for anybody to go around saying things like that looking so fucking alluring. It was lethal and
a criminal offence and no one could convince Yoo Joonghyuk otherwise.
"Slow down," Kim Dokja chided him. "You're going to get drunk like that."
"That's the point," Yoo Joonghyuk muttered.
A crease appeared on Kim Dokja's forehead and Yoo Joonghyuk supposed he thought that he was
just so worried about his exams that he was drinking himself stupid. Which was a thousand times
better than him finding out Joonghyuk's actual dilemma.
Silence fell and Yoo Joonghyuk opened his mouth again, this time talking about the only thing that
would force him away from any unholy thoughts just by nature. Yoo Mia.
It worked. It always worked.

It was similar to thinking about sad and depressing things to stop himself from laughing or smiling
during his streams at some comment that was actually funny. He had a reputation to maintain.
And right now, he had his dignity to maintain. Because if Kim Dokja says something like that
again, he will fall to his knees and beg.
So Yoo Joonghyuk spoke about Yoo Mia and his worries about being an inadequate brother. Mia
was already turning six and he was away from her for most of the time.
What if she ended up hating him? Just like he had hated his parents who had never been there for
him? What if she left someday like he had left his old house? What if when he returned, she was
indifferent to him?
He was by no means a good brother and just trying was not enough. There were a lot of things he
couldn't have as a child, he didn't want the same thing for Mia. He didn't want her to be an unhappy
child as he had been.
"I only want the best for her," Yoo Joonghyuk was saying, not realising that he had been staring at
a single spot on the floor for a long time now. "And I'm not confident that I can give her that. I'm
not a good role model. What if she ends up like me?"
"What's wrong with you?" said Kim Dokja, bumping shoulder into Yoo Joonghyuk's lightly.
"Just. . .You know how I am. That's what's wrong."
Kim Dokja shuffled around in his seat and his hand went around Yoo Joonghyuk's back, caught his
upper arm and tugged him down. Yoo Joonghyuk leaned into the touch easily. He soon found
himself lying down, his head on Kim Dokja's chest and his arms around Yoo Joonghyuk.
Okay, this was not his fault. He couldn't be held accountable if he seemed clingy and pathetic. He
was severely touch-starved, he would admit it and this was Kim Dokja touching him!
So obviously, naturally, he fucking melted. It was not his fault and this should not be used against
him, alright? He had no control here.
"Yoo Joonghyuk, you are the best brother Mia could ever ask for," said Kim Dokja.
"That's not a very nice thing to say," Yoo Joonghyuk said. If he was the best Yoo Mia could get,
then that was a very bad thing.
"What the fuck is that even supposed to mean?" Kim Dokja said above him.
He was sure that Kim Dokja knew exactly what the fuck he meant.
Kim Dokja took a deep breath, his chest rising and falling.
"Do you mind if I suggest something?" he said.
"Go ahead," Yoo Joonghyuk said. Like hell he would mind. Never once did anything Kim Dokja
says turn out wrong. Of course, they annoyed him sometimes and sounded outright ridiculous, but
it was always right. If anything, he should be begging for Kim Dokja's counsel.
"You should just start living with Mia."
Okay, that was slightly stupid. Maybe the alcohol had impaired Kim Dokja's logical functioning.
"I can't bring her here," Yoo Joonghyuk rolled his eyes. Their apartment was close to the campus,
and there were certain establishments that by nature surrounded a place filled with twenty-
somethings and other adults. He was not bringing Mia anywhere near here. Besides, she has to go
to her kindergarten and which was not near his apartment.
"Don't bring her here," Kim Dokja scoffed incredulously. "I'm saying you should look for another
place, one near Mia's school. With easy travel options."
With Yoo Joonghyuk's recent salary raise, it should be possible in a while, but not right now. It
sounded like a good idea, if he thought about it. If areas near universities have clubs and bars,
areas near kindergartens have supermarkets and children's clothing stores owing to the families
living in the area. So he should have all the necessities nearby.
But even so, moving right now was not an easy decision to make. And he was saying that logically,
not just because he didn't want to lose this apartment. Their current apartment wasn't all that great;
of course, it catered to all his requirements without straining his bank account, it was just that the
fact that he shared this with Kim Dokja made it invaluable.
"I can help you look for a place," Kim Dokja said.
He was doing it again, simply helping Yoo Joonghyuk, every time, without asking for a single
thing in return.
Yoo Joonghyuk adjusted his head so that his ear was above Kim Dokja's heart, hearing the beats
loud and clear. It sounded so lovely. How was everything about this man lovely?
The angels probably lost him one day and he fell to earth. Sucks for the heavens and it's the
greatest blessing for Yoo Joonghyuk. Maybe that's why Kim Dokja was prone to getting into
accidents every now and then. The heavens were probably freaking out and trying to get him back.
"You should prioritize spending time with Mia now," Kim Dokja said and that advice was the
opposite of what Yoo Joonghyuk thought. Yoo Mia was young now, it should be better to be away
now. She would understand his reasons easier if she was a bit older.
"You know, she's already five, she's probably starting to make memories that she'll remember for
her whole life," Kim Dokja said as Yoo Joonghyuk slid his arms under the smaller's man body and
wrapped them around his waist. Kim Dokja was very thin, it was almost alarming. Was it genetics
or something because Yoo Joonghyuk remembered him being just as frail back when they were
fifteen?
Kim Dokja didn't say anything about Yoo Joonghyuk returning the hug, so he assumed it was
okay. Please, let it be okay.
"She needs you. You'll also have to go for military service."
Yoo Joonghyuk groaned. Right, that was there too.
"She'll cry. Mia cries a lot when I leave," Yoo Joonghyuk said, his heart aching when he
remembered Mia's terrible wails the day he left.
"Mia is a smart girl, I'm sure she'll understand," Kim Dokja said reassuringly and Yoo Joonghyuk
couldn't help but want to laugh.
"You've never even met her," he pointed out.
"You've told me enough about her for me to know what she's like," Kim Dokja retorted, a sharp
edge to his voice now. Yoo Joonghyuk winced when he got a couple of strands of his hair pulled as
punishment. He would have snapped back, even threatened Kim Dokja, but he couldn't bring
himself to do that right now. Kim Dokja was quicksand and he was sinking in willingly. He'd get
swallowed whole by the end anyway, might as well enjoy it for as long as possible before going in.
"Mia needs you, You need Mia," Kim Dokja said, now smoothening down the spot he had tugged
at before. "Simplest way to do this is to live together."
Yoo Joonghyuk let out a sigh. "Explain or don't talk at all."
Kim Dokja pulled his hair again and this time Yoo Joonghyuk looked up to glare at him. Bastard.
Why did he have to look so pretty? He couldn't even stay mad at him.
"Here's my reasoning," Kim Dokja said, giving in. Yoo Joonghyuk noticed that Kim Dokja could
never treat him to the 'silent treatment' for long. He would always cave in and honestly, it was cute
how he couldn't stay mad at Joonghyuk. Then again, Yoo Joonghyuk couldn't stay mad at Kim
Dokja for long either. He could be petty, but that's a different matter.
"You should live with Mia now. And then you can get your military service done and out of the
way. When you return, you can go back to living with Mia."
"That's not reasoning, Kim Dokja," Yoo Joonghyuk rolled his eyes. Kim Dokja had a habit of
giving instructions without explaining what they were for. It pissed Yoo Joonghyuk off sometimes
and he would have berated him for it before if he just didn't find it so enthraling to watch.
"Don't speak nonsense and tell me everything. Give me half-baked shit and I will punch you."
"Have some patience, you bastard. I'm getting to it." Kim Dokja grumbled but relented again. "If
she grows older and you just show up out of the blue, she'll treat you strangely. And since it's you
we are talking about, you'll have a mental breakdown, you loser."
Yoo Joonghyuk scowled. Loser? He seriously wanted to punch Kim Dokja.

The only reason Kim Dokja was spared from getting beaten down was because he was warm and
Yoo Joonghyuk wanted to enjoy the hug. He did pinch Kim Dokja's waist as revenge though. It
made Kim Dokja hiss out in pain and grab a fistful of Yoo Joonghyuk's hair, yanking it harshly.
"It hurts, you bastard."
"So does my head when you talk nonsense," Yoo Joonghyuk retorted and he wondered if he had
been spending way too much time with Kim Dokja. Was cleverness contagious or something?
Witty comebacks were not his thing. He was more the quiet, brooding glare type. Kim Dokja was
the one who ran his mouth off with quick snap-backs that left people seething because they had
nothing to say against it.
"Continue," Yoo Joonghyuk said, not wanting to squabble to escalate. This situation had a lot of
potential to escalate into a full-blown brawl and he wasn't sure Kim Dokja would survive if he
actually fought him.
Kim Dokja swore violently under his breath but gave up in the end.
He inhaled sharply and began again, "You should stay with her for these two years before we end
college. Make as many good memories as you can before you go for another two years. And when
you come back, she'll be happier. She'll trust you more that way."
"She's growing up fast and you know how teenagers are. Children are vulnerable by nature and the
world is not filled with good people," Kim Dokja said and that caught Yoo Joonghyuk's attention.
That was true. It was something that bothered Yoo Joonghyuk so much.
"You can't just say you'll lock her up in the house and loom around like an overprotective big
brother," Kim Dokja continued, and Yoo Joonghyuk knew for a fact that the older man had felt
him stiffen because Kim Dokja was now slowly running his hand through Joonghyuk's hair, as
though trying to comfort him.
It was very effective.
"Mia will need her freedom. She'll need to learn to be independent. What you need to do is support
her." Kim Dokja took a deep breath. "The world is not nice, Joonghyuk-ah. And if—god forbid—
anything bad happens or she gets in some sort of trouble, she needs to trust you enough to come to
you immediately. Without fearing the consequences, without feeling like she can't ask you for help,
without feeling that she's unloved by her brother when you so clearly do."
Yoo Joonghyuk closed his eyes and held Kim Dokja tighter.
He hadn't thought about that. He was more worried about Mia being lonely and having no friends
like him, he had forgotten to think about other things.
He had forgotten about the way how he had to fend for himself from a young age because he had
no one to go to for help. He never felt like he could ask his parents for anything.
"And maybe you can use those two years in the military to get your mind off gaming. A break
would do you good. . .You did say that it was starting to become a chore. You'll have a new
appreciation for it after you come back," Kim Dokja chuckled. He was trying to joke the heavy
atmosphere off but Yoo Joonghyuk was only vaguely listening. He had more important things to
think about.
Yoo Joonghyuk was lucky. He knew that much. How he had met his master and how she was a
good person and not someone who wanted to exploit a child. How he had gotten a job early on and
managed to gain his independence. His career on the entertainment platform was something
incredible according to normal standards, he was aware of that, and he was also aware of just how
lucky he was to have gotten that. He was also lucky to have met someone like Kim Dokja, a person
who was supportive, kind and helpful.
He couldn't be sure that Yoo Mia would have the same luck. He couldn't just wish upon a star and
hope that fate had someone else in store for Yoo Mia to lean on. She wouldn't stay a child forever,
and he certainly couldn't take care of her forever. He would like to, of course, but logically
speaking it was impossible. What if he were to die tomorrow? What would happen to Mia then?
"Kim Dokja," he called softly, hoping that it would ground him. Kim Dokja hummed back, still
carding his fingers through his hair.
"I'm a bad brother."
"Yeah? And I'm a dokkaebi," Kim Dokja scoffed. "Yoo Joonghyuk, you listen to me now. You're
doing well. You're doing great! You're new to this and you're doing great."
Praise from Kim Dokja didn't feel as great now that he was drowning in his sorrowful thoughts.
Kim Dokja probably knew this because he had experienced it first hand too, just like Yoo
Joonghyuk. It had been obvious during their time at the hospital. They were both lonely boys from
broken homes with no adults to turn to when the need arose.
"You said Mia was left at your door when you were eighteen. You could have just pretended she
didn't exist, you could have given her away."
What would Kim Dokja say if he knew that that was the first thought eighteen-year-old Yoo
Joonghyuk had when he saw his baby sister? To give her away to an orphanage, because he wasn't
ready for the responsibility.
Truth be told, it was just his stubbornness that made him bring the child inside. Not love or
affection, he was just being stubborn when he decided he would raise her and claimed that he
would raise her better than her parents ever could.
"You could have abandoned her, but you didn't. And that's all that matters."
Kim Dokja always knew what to say.
"Everyone makes mistakes. No one is perfect."
"You are." The words were out of his mouth before he knew it and once they were out in the air, he
did nothing to stop it or wave it away. "You are perfect."
Yoo Joonghyuk could count the seconds that passed in silence. Kim Dokja's hand had halted and
he couldn't feel his breathing anymore. Yoo Joonghyuk was glad that he could hear his heartbeat,
at least he was still alive and hadn't just died because of shock.
". . .Is that what you say to yourself in the mirror every morning?" Kim Dokja finally said. His
voice trembled only for a few syllables before they caught their usual mischievous tone.
"To raise confidence or something? Is that the Conquering King's daily pep-talk routine?"
"Shut up," Yoo Joonghyuk said, no heat in his words. He wasn't angry or annoyed after all. Kim
Dokja was just not used to sincere compliments. Just like Yoo Joonghyuk.
Who would have thought? The man who spoke sweet words like it was nothing wasn't used to
receiving them at all.
Yoo Joonghyuk wasn't going to take his words back. He meant what he said and he was never
going to claim that he thought otherwise. Kim Dokja was perfect. It was almost as though God had
picked out all the good things in the world and compiled them into this lovely, brilliant being in his
arms.
And maybe he was just a teeny bit petty. Kim Dokja ought to experience the misery Yoo
Joonghyuk has to go through when he says stuff like this right, left and centre.
Yoo Joonghyuk didn't know when he had fallen asleep that night. But when he woke up, he was
still holding Kim Dokja and Kim Dokja was holding him back, squished up against each other in
the tiny settee, somehow, miraculously not having fallen off at all.
It didn't occur until morning that Kim Dokja might have found it all uncomfortable. Yoo
Joonghyuk dreaded to think about it. What if Kim Dokja actually thought he was pretty disgusting?
He could never figure out what the smaller man was thinking. Kim Dokja was a mystery
sometimes.
What they had been doing last night was clearly not something heterosexual friends who had no
romantic feelings for each other would do.
What did that mean now? Did Kim Dokja reciprocate his feelings, even the slightest bit? Did he
like Joonghyuk as more than a friend?
Or was it just Kim Dokja being nice to a fault like he always was?
Yoo Joonghyuk hadn't been all that drunk last night, but he sure did have a headache to rival any
hangover he'd ever experienced the next morning.
Things were different after that. Not bad, just different.
Yoo Joonghyuk had tentatively, with his heart beating in his throat, taken the initiative and rest his
head on Kim Dokja's shoulder one day when he was doing the dishes. When Kim Dokja did
nothing to shove Yoo Joonghyuk off, he decided to take it a step further and wrapped his arms
around Kim Dokja's waist.
Yoo Joonghyuk's heart had almost lept out of his body with joy when Kim Dokja leaned back into
his touch. He even turned around and returned the hug once he was done with the dishes.
Yoo Joonghyuk still didn't know what the other felt, but as long as Kim Dokja didn't push him
away, he supposed it was fine.
Even now, in the lazy Sunday evening, when Yoo Joonghyuk pulled Kim Dokja into his arms,
Kim Dokja simply stayed. They hadn't moved from Yoo Koonghyuk's gaming chair, Kim Dokja
on his lap and Yoo Joonghyuk resting his head on the older man's shoulder. He had been sitting
like that for a while, just enjoying the warmth and Kim Dokja was using his computer, scrolling
away on some page showing property listings. Yoo Joonghyuk had stopped reading it within the
first ten minutes and left it all to Kim Dokja.
There were having a cuddling session and it did strange things to Yoo Joonghyuk's stomach. At
first he thought he was just getting sick, then he realised it was the phenomenon called
'butterflies'. It took some getting used to and now he had even come to like the little lurch his
stomach did when Kim Dokja smiled faintly at him.
"I know this Gong Pildu," Kim Dokja was saying as they discussed the new place they were
looking at so that they could bring Yoo Mia to live with them.
Yoo Joonghyuk had practically threatened Kim Dokja to move along with him. Kim Dokja was of
the opinion that Mia would mind his presence somehow and that he wouldn't want to intrude on
their family time. Yoo Joonghyuk had replied to that with "Kim Dokja, don't be a fool".
A couple of minutes later, Kim Dokja tapped his hand, asking him to let go. Yoo Joonghyuk did so
reluctantly. Everytime Kim Dokja wasn't in his arms, Yoo Joonghyuk would end up regretting and
overthinking everything he had done. The anxiety stemmed from the fact that Yoo Joonghyuk
could never figure out what Kim Dokja was thinking. He, in the least, had some sort of input when
they were in physical contact and Yoo Joonghyuk was craving to understand the man as much as
he could.
He wondered if he'd end up being obsessed with Kim Dokja one day, but that was for then. Right
now, he would be satisfied with what he was getting.
His eyes followed Kim Dokja as he moved. Kim Dokja stood up, stretched, pulled his phone out
from his pocket and moved away from Yoo Joonghyuk. The older man picked up the metal
waterbottle resting in the corner of Yoo Joonghyuk's table, gave it a little shake, confirmed it was
empty and then left the room, bottle in hand.
He returned a few minutes later, typing something in his phone. Eyes still on his phone, he handed
the waterbottle to Yoo Joonghyuk and said, "You should drink. Don't want you dying of
dehydration."
Yoo Joonghyuk rolled his eyes but accepted the bottle anyway, feeling giddy on the inside.
"What are you doing?" he said, unscrewing the cap and bringing the metal rim to his mouth; the
little nozzle it had did nothing to quench his thirst he wasn't aware he was feeling. The bottle had
been an sponsored thing anyway, he didn't prefer the design but the money he received by jus
lifting it up a few times during a stream was good.
"Hmm," Kim Dokja's fingers flew over his screen again. "I'm just looking."
"Are you tying out a comment again? On those novels of yours?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked. Yoo
Joonghyuk wasn't the type to leave comments ever, even with his private accounts, but Kim Dokja
would religiously leave heartfelt comments every time. It was to show the creator appreciation, he
had said.
"Are you texting?" Yoo Joonghyuk said, surprised when he figured that Kim Dokja was waiting
for a few seconds before typing back every now and then. Kim Dokja didn't have a lot of people to
text, at least, not as far as Yoo Joonghyuk knew.
In the crudest way possible, both of them were loners. They didn't have friends in their department
or university; just each other.
"My boss," Kim Dokja said simply and continued texting away.
"Who texts their boss so much?" It was a genuine question.
"I do when I have to ask for a leave," Kim Dokja said dryly.
"What do you need a leave for?"
Kim Dokja looked up. "What do you mean what do I need a leave for?" he said, incredulous.
"What do you think?"
Yoo Joonghyuk scowled. Really! "I didn't ask you to come with me. I can handle it myself."
"Sure you can," Kim Dokja drawled, eyes dropping back onto his phone.
"I can handle it myself," Yoo Joonghyuk pressed. "I've done it before, I've done it myself all these
years. I don't need your presence, Kim Dokja."
"Did you not listen to me when I was talking?" Kim Dokja said, sliding his hand over the
powerbutton on the side of his phone, shutting it off and sliding it back into his pocket.
"I know Gong Pildu. He's a bit of a scammer, but you can get your way around him," Kim Dokja
said snatching Yoo Joonghyuk's bottle out of his hands and then picked up the cap Yoo Joonghyuk
had abandoned on the desk, screwed it back up tight.
Kim Dokja put the bottle where it sat before he took it and then sat right back down on Yoo
Joonghyuk's thigh and went back to working on his computer.
Any complaints Yoo Joonghyuk might have had died away and he brought his arms back in an
embrace around the smaller man.
Fuck it all. If Kim Dokja wanted to come along, all the better for Yoo Joonghyuk. He should
introduce him to Mia, now that he thought about it. It would be nice for them to meet each other a
few times before they start living together.
Chapter End Notes
I was trying to bring in 0th round and Demon King of Salvation dynamic into this. But
then I realised I needed some angst somewhere soon, so here I am thinking of how I
should squish all of the YJHs into one. Like how am I supposed to give this normal
dude regression depression?
I did not think this through. Haaaah...
Chapter 4
Chapter Summary
Yoo Joonghyuk is whipped, Joongdok co-parenting Mia.
Chapter Notes
Kim Dokja pestered Yoo Joonghyuk until he gave in and announced that he was taking a few
weeks off and won't be streaming during this time. He ignored whatever fuss came in and refused
to look at whatever his 'fans' and social media were saying about his uncharacteristic break.
It was summer break and Yoo Joonghyuk should use it to spend time with his sister, was Kim
Dokja's reasoning. Tell her about the moving thing, and get the new house ready in the meantime
and all.
Yoo Joonghyuk raised the issue of him not getting paid during these 'few weeks', but Kim Dokja
laughed it away.
"Didn't you read your contract after we upgraded it?" he had said.
Yoo Joonghyuk had to go through it again. He had been pretty confident before, that he knew
everything there was to know about workplace ethics and fair pay and all that. Clearly, he had
underestimated just how much of a scammer Kim Dokja could be.
Since when was paid leave a thing for a streamer? He got paid for the content he created, and it
only made sense that he wouldn't get a lot of money if he were to not make his videos or stream.
Why was the company paying him now? Compensation for mental distress and emotional damages
caused? What the fuck? Did he really get all that much money?
Yoo Joonghyuk even had to cross-check his bank account just to make sure. . .He did.
Why had this slipped his notice?
Right, because he had let Kim Dokja take the lead on this one.
It wasn't a bad thing, per se. God, it was incredible, truthfully. But he would have liked to be a bit
more involved. Kim Dokja could have discussed this with him beforehand.
Even though he wanted to, he didn't bring up the topic.
"You're not coming?" Yoo Joonghyuk said, shocked, one night before he was leaving for his
master's place to stay with Mia. He had made all his plans believing that Kim Dokja was coming
along with him.
"I will be there for a few days," Kim Dokja said casually. "Like a promised. I just can't stay for the
whole time."
"But you're still not coming tomorrow," Yoo Joonghyuk said darkly.
"No, not tomorrow," Kim Dokja flashed an apologetic smile. "Something came up."
"You know I would never bail on you right?" Kim Dokja added, trying to reassure Yoo Joonghyuk
again. "I've got a few important things to do."
Yoo Joonghyuk glared at the bastard sitting across him at the dining table. Kim Dokja was lucky
Yoo Joonghyuk would leave the next morning, or he was going to be subjected to torture using
tomatoes for at least a month.
Kim Dokja luckily kept his promise and was there the day he said he would be. Yoo Joonghyuk
wasn't really sure what he would do had Kim Dokja broken his promise.
Yoo Joonghyuk had told Mia a lot about Kim Dokja, and when she asked him to show this oppa's
picture, Yoo Joonghyuk realise he didn't have a single photograph of Kim Dokja on his phone and
it pissed him off to no bounds. Kim Dokja could get Yoo Joonghyuk's picture from anywhere on
the internet, but Yoo Joonghyuk couldn't do the same.
"Kim Dokja, do you have any pictures?" Yoo Joonghyuk said as Kim Dokja admired Namgung
Minyoung's wonderful place. The architecture was not the same as the modern ones, but it did give
the martial arts school vibe. There were even swords hanging on the wall and Kim Dokja stared at
it for an awfully long time.
"Pictures of what?" Kim Dokja inquired.
"You."
Kim Dokja thought for a second, then said, "I do have my passport photo if that's what you're
asking. Why? Did they want it for the lease thing or something? I didn't think Gong Pildu would
have done that.
The interaction with Gong Pildu was another chance for Conman Kim Dokja to shine. He didn't
speak up this time, instead, he hid behind Yoo Joonghyuk like a quiet, nervous man, but all the
while was whispering and giving Yoo Joonghyuk hints on how to go about the whole thing.
At first, Gong Pildu got mad, really pissed, then he cooled down and got all sentimental and
finally, he got scammed into giving into Kim Dokja's absurd terms. Yoo Joonghyuk was pretty
sure Kim Dokja had worked at least once in his life as a professional scammer. It simply wasn't
possible otherwise, alright?
"I don't have any photos of you," Yoo Joonghyuk stressed when Kim Dokja stood still, staring at
an old framed photograph on the low mantlepiece.
"I don't have any photos of me either," Kim Dokja chuckled it away, still focusing on the picture
more. Curious as to what it was that could steal Kim Dokja's attention ( apart from his novels), Yoo
Joonghyuk moved to look.
It was a photograph he had seen for a long time. His master and her ex-lover. Yoo Joonghyuk had
only asked her about the tiny man with turquoise hair once, and his master had gone on a hysteric
rant that lasted hours. He never asked after that.
But seeing that she still had this photo out on display like this should mean something. He wasn't
going to ask about it though.
"Oh, it's the cute kid," Namgung Minyoung had said when they had lunch together. Yoo Mia was
clinging onto Yoo Joonghyuk, using him as her shield as she looked around him at the pale man
who sat next to Yoo Joonghyuk.
Kim Dokja smiled at her indulgingly every time she peeked at him and Mia would quickly hide
away behind Yoo Joonghyuk again.
"Now you're a cute man, huh!" his master was laughing and teasing Kim Dokja.
She quickly changed lanes though, much to Yoo Joonghyuk's displeasure.
"This big man here," she said, a hint of sarcasm lining her words as she nodded at Yoo Joonghyuk.
"Moped around for years after he left the hospital because he couldn't get in contact with you."
There was absolutely no reason to tell Kim Dokja about that!
Yoo Joonghyuk had learnt this tactic from Kim Dokja himself. If the conversation was going to be
awkward anyway, it was better that the other person would be the one to get uncomfortable.
"You still have that picture of your ex-lover out," Yoo Joonghyuk said scathingly over his rice.
"How many years has it been already?"
Kim Dokja looked very surprised at the revelation and he whipped his head to look at Namgung
Minyoung's reaction, and it seemed that it was enough to confirm Yoo Joonghyuk's words.
Yoo Joonghyuk was pretty sure he was going to get his ass handed to him. Perhaps he had also
learnt recklessness from Kim Dokja.
Luckily, Kim Dokja jumped in to save the day, though he did notice the amused look he had given
Yoo Joonghyuk. Joonghyuk felt his ears burn red as they often did in Kim Dokja's presence. Kim
Dokja seemed to think it was due to repressed anger for some reason and Yoo Joonghyuk didn't
know if he should be glad about it or not.
"Was that Kyrgios Rodgraim in the photo?"
Yoo Joonghyuk wanted to go outside, dig a hole and bury himself in it. The way Kim Dokja had
pronounced the foreign name, the change in his accent just for those two words did something to
his heart and all the blood went straight south.
He was having lunch, for fuck's sake! He was sitting with Mia, his master, and Master(the dog).
The midday sun was blaring down at the earth outside. This was not the kind of thought he ought to
be having.
"You know him," Namgung Minyoung said, interested and Kim Dokja nodded, while Yoo
Joonghyuk thought of the world wars, dying people and starving children.
"How do you know him?"
"Is there anyone who hasn't heard of the White Storm of Paradox?" Kim Dokja said lightheartedly.
"I just happened to meet him a couple of years ago."
Kim Dokja's excuse didn't seem to work on Namgung Minyoung. It was that, or she wasn't
satisfied with the answer she had received. Yoo Joonghyuk would have warned Kim Dokja not to
push it further and incur his master's wrath, but he was curious too.
"Happened to meet him, you say," his master said slowly, and all of a sudden the chopsticks in her
hand looked very dangerous. "The White Purity that I know of would not act like that. Did he
reveal his old name to you?"
"You can find anything on the internet these days," Kim Dokja lied. Yoo Joonghyuk knew for a
fact that he had lied and by the looks of it, so did his master.
"What are you to him?" Namgung Minyoung demanded. Everyone stopped eating, eyes on the
conversation (hopefully it would continue remaining one) happening at the table.
"Is this his taste now? Has he taken an interest in young boys? Isn't he old enough to be your
father?"
Kim Dokja nearly spat out whatever was in his mouth. Yoo Joonghyuk swallowed and the food
went down the wrong pipe and it was his coughing that brought everyone's attention away from
this White Storm guy.
Yoo Joonghyuk didn't know a lot about Kyrgios Rodgraim. He did hear about him from his
master, but that was filled with complaints about the guy's bad personality and insecurity about his
small stature. And that apparently they, that guy and his master, were disciples of the same master
or something.
Right, how did Kim Dokja know that man anyway? Just happened to meet him? What was he not
saying?
"I don't remember him being particularly rich, so he can't be that. . .what do you kids call it these
days? Ah, a sugar daddy."
"What? No!" Kim Dokja cried, alarmed.
"Isn't he really old though? And shorter. . .How is he managing being smaller? I think you're taller
than him though. How does he treat you?"
"He is a good person," Kim Dokja said and Yoo Joonghyuk thought he was being too arbitrary.
Just tell the truth. Was this Kyrgios guy really Kim Dokja's sugar daddy or something? How did
that even work? When had they met and for how long had they been together?
Kim Dokja glanced at Yoo Joonghyuk for help but upon seeing Yoo Joonghyuk's fierce glare, he
seemed to wilt.
"He is very strict, yells at me often and calls me stupid, but he cares in his own way."
No, no, that is being abusive. Yoo Joonghyuk wanted to grab Kim Dokja by his shoulders and
shake some sense into him.
"So he does like you then," Namgung Minyoung said with finality and Yoo Joonghyuk wished
someone would just strike him dead right there. The man he liked was in a relationship with his
master's ex, whom she couldn't seem to get over.
"Not—Not like that!" Kim Dokja cried, waving his hands around wildly and shaking his head.
"He's my master and I'm his disciple."
Yoo Joonghyuk was abruptly pulled out of his miserable thoughts of how Kim Dokja was going to
get kicked out of his master's place the second lunch was done and how they were going to be
estranged again.
If this news was supposed to relax Namgung Minyoung, it didn't. She only seemed more eager to
wring out more information from Kim Dokja.
"That man? A disciple?" she said, almost astonished.
"Ah, yes," Kim Dokja nodded slowly. "I sort of annoyed him into accepting me as his disciple."
"How long have you been his disciple?"
"A few years now."
The flow of the conversation had suddenly switched. Yoo Joonghyuk was glad to know that Kim
Dokja wasn't in a relationship with anyone. Thank fuck.
"A few years, you say. So you were lying when you said you happened to meet him."
"No, not really. I did happen to meet him when I went to Japan a few years back."
"He's in Japan now? Has he left that old island of his?" Namgung Minyoung said curiously.
"Yes, an acquaintance of mine called him out for a while and I happened to get the chance to meet
him then."
"Someone has the power to convince that stubborn guy. . .It has been really long, huh?"
"Asuka Ren-ssi is special like that," Kim Dokja smiled and Yoo Joonghyuk stiffened again.
Every time Kim Dokja dropped a name, Yoo Joonghyuk was immediately taken by a dread that
this person would be someone special to Kim Dokja. Who was this Asuka Ren now, damn it!
"Who is Asuka Ren?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked, trying hard not to sound jealous.
"She's a Japanese comic artist," Kim Dokja replied easily. "She makes really good art and I've read
a few of her works."
Of course, a storyteller would be the one to capture Kim Dokja's attention.
"You dated her?"
Kim Dokja looked at him like he had just stated that the earth was flat.
"Acquaintance, dumdum. I just said so," Kim Dokja snapped. Yoo Joonghyuk hummed in
response, secretly very glad.
Kim Dokja adjusted to their little . . .family? For Yoo Joonghyuk this was the closest thing to a
family he had, so he called it that in his head.
His master had taken a liking to Kim Dokja and wouldn't miss a single opportunity to tease Yoo
Joonghyuk about it. Obviously, she had noticed his crush; of course, she had, it was the size of the
fucking sun.
Namgung Minyoung also seemed to entertain the idea of making Yoo Joonghyuk and Kim Dokja
spar, which both of them slinked away from. She was on about something along the lines of
wanting to see if her disciple was stronger than the White Storm's.
Kim Dokja said he wasn't really into fighting and just wanted to learn it for self-defence. Yoo
Joonghyuk was hesitant to spar with Kim Dokja, what if he accidentally hurt him? He couldn't live
with himself if he did that. Besides, Kim Dokja was a frail man, he wasn't even sure what this
White Storm had taught Kim Dokja.
Moving on to the considerably more normal people of the family, Breaking the Sky Sword Master
and Kim Dokja formed a strange friendship. Yoo Joonghyuk had often spotted Kim Dokja sitting
down with the dog, staring out into the empty training ground, and just talking like he would have
done to a normal human being. Having a full-blown conversation, answering and asking questions,
nodding occasionally, sometimes even chuckling. . .Like he could actually understand the dog.
Yoo Joonghyuk wondered if it was an intrinsic trait that Kim Dokja had, the ability to charm
anyone he came across. He had managed to get his master and Master to like him in a matter of
hours. From what Namgung Minyoung had told Yoo Joonghyuk about Kyrgios Rodgraim, he was
a man who hadn't taken in a disciple for years and didn't like people. So if he had taught Kim
Dokja in person, it meant that he had taken a great liking to Dokja.
Even Mia! He had managed to get Mia to like him and run around with him on the training
grounds within minutes. Mia was a cautious child, very reserved. Yoo Joonghyuk had only ever
seen her speaking like that to him and his master (Mia called her grandmother).
But here she was talking animatedly to Kim Dokja.
"In—Ven—To—Ry," Kim Dokja said slowly, letting Yoo Mia imitate the shape of his mouth and
then learn the new word herself. Yoo Mia was only five; she would argue that she was older
because her birthday was soon, but it still didn't change the fact that she didn't know a lot of big
words, especially something like 'inventory' and that too in English.
Yoo Joonghyuk knew what 'inventory' meant, but that was because of the game interface he was so
used to.
"Kim Dokja, stop teaching Mia weird things," he called, sitting down on the veranda, carefully
watching the interaction between his sister and Kim Dokja.
Kim Dokja only waved a dismissive hand at him and proceeded to explain to Mia what the purpose
of the gift he had brought was.
At first glance, it looked like a bright red rose with golden glitter on the edge of the petals. But
when the strap around the bottom was loosened, you could pull out the fabric inside until you got a
huge bag. When the use of the bag was done, all the cloth could be scrunched up and stuffed back
into the rose, which while using the bag, hung as a cute decoration on the side. It was a pretty bag
and Yoo Joonghyuk approved of it, with butterflies fluttering around the red rose and it was
machine washable so Mia wouldn't have to worry about getting it dirty at all.
Mia loved the little gift.
Kim Dokja for some reason saw it fit to name it 'Inventory'. Of all the things he could have called
it; he could have called it a fairy bag, a flower pouch, anything, really! But an Inventory was what
he went with.
Mia seemed to like it, so Yoo Joonghyuk couldn't really complain about it.
"You can put everything you want in that," Kim Dokja told Mia, now plopping down onto the
training ground, not minding that his pants would probably get dirty. "It'll just hold it all and you
only have to carry the inventory."
Mia had found out that if she held the bag up in the air, it would puff up like the balloons she had
seen on television. And she also figured out that if Kim Dokja, who was taller were to hold it up, it
would grow larger and she had made the man run around for her entertainment while Yoo
Joonghyuk was clearing up the kitchen after lunch.
"Really?" Mia said, sounding slightly sceptical as she waved the red bag around. She debated with
herself for a while about going to prove her oppa's friend's claim about the bag or to make him run
around so she could see the balloon again.
Finally, she trotted off to her room to see if the bag could actually hold everything.
Once Mia vanished into the house, Kim Dokja heaved himself up from the floor and made his way
to where Yoo Joonghyuk was sitting, having a very amused look on his face.
"Smug jerk," Kim Dokja muttered, collapsing onto the spot beside Yoo Joonghyuk. "She's really
energetic, your sister. . .Haaah, I'm dying."
"Didn't you train your basic stamina with your master?" Yoo Joonghyuk said, curious.
"Don't remind me," Kim Dokja muttered, shuddering in fear at the old memories Yoo Joonghyuk
had reminded him of. "He made me wear those metal weighted training bands all the time while
doing everything," Kim Dokja rubbed his wrists and pointed his ankles to further emphasise the
point.
"He'd make me repeat the basic stab a million times. Can you believe it? One million times!"
"Yes," Yoo Joonghyuk said simply, raising his brow. "That's the basics."
Kim Dokja turned to him, scandalized. "Whatever, you OP son of a blueberry," he grumbled.
"What?" Yoo Joonghyuk snorted.
"What?" Kim Dokja scowled at him. "Mia is here. And kids learn things fast, so I'm keeping my
language in check."
"Is that why you called me a dumdum?" Yoo Joonghyuk remembered the strange term Kim Dokja
had called him over lunch.
"You're being a little fudge cake and I'm going to punch you," Kim Dokja said, miffed at Yoo
Joonghyuk's mocking tone.
Yoo Joonghyuk had just opened his mouth to tease Dokja some more when Mia screamed from
inside.
"OPPA!"
Yoo Joonghyuk jumped to his feet and thundered into the house in a panic, Kim Dokja scrambling
to his feet and following close behind.
They found Yoo Mia in her room, smiling from ear to ear, eyes alight with glee.
"It really fits!" she giggled. "It all fits!
Mia had stuffed all the dresses she liked and her few school books, the toys she liked, and a box of
candy she had, into the bag. She was very excited that the bag really could hold everything she
wanted.
"I even put grandma's knife in it!" she said pulling out the dagger Namgung Minyoung kept around
the house, just in case.
"Mia," Yoo Joonghyuk said sternly, now that he was certain his sister wasn't in danger. "Don't play
with sharp things."
Mia pouted and slipped it back into her bag. Yoo Joonghyuk caught it before it fell into the clutter
and took it away, much to Mia's dismay.
"But oppa!" Mia cried, tears welling up in her eyes.
"No," Yoo Joonghyuk stood his ground, though he wanted nothing more than to just tell Mia that
she could have everything she wanted. He hated seeing her cry, but this was for her own good.
"Oppa, please!"
"No."
A soft exhale behind Yoo Joonghyuk reminded him of Kim Dokja's presence. Great, now he was
going to show off his shitty parenting skills and ruin whatever dignity his image had in Kim
Dokja's eyes now.
"Mia-yah," Kim Dokja said softly, getting both siblings' attention.
"Can you lift the bag up though?" Kim Dokja said, placing a hand on his chin and tilting his head
to the side, as though in deep thought.
Mia, with tears in her eyes, frowned. A frown that looked so like Yoo Joonghyuk's and Yoo
Joonghyuk saw the corners of Kim Dokja's mouth twitch upwards for a second before he fixed it
into the sombre, thoughtful look it was before.
Mia, still frowning, got to her feet, grasped the handles of the bag and pulled it up. It stretched, but
she wasn't able to lift it, naturally. It was way too heavy for a five-year-old to carry.
Mia's exasperation grew and Yoo Joonghyuk mentally prepared himself to console a bawling Mia.
Mia was inconsolable if she ever started crying and it took her hours to stop.
The tears in her eyes threatened to fall and Kim Dokja hurried forward.
"Hmm," he said slowly, clearly, sounding thoughtful. "I thought this would happen."
"Wh—What?" Mia sniffed.
"It's because your stats are too low," Kim Dokja said matter of factly.
Yoo Joonghyuk stared at the scene before him.
What? Stats? What the fuck was Kim Dokja saying?
"Stats?" Mia said, clearly puzzled.
"Mhmm," Kim Dokja nodded. "Since it's a magic bag, you need super strength to lift it, no? You
need to get more points and your stats will go up. And then, you can lift it easily."
"Like your oppa can." He caught Yoo Joonghyuk's wrist and pulled him forward, nodding at the
bag.
Yoo Joonghyuk held back his sigh, bent down, grabbed the bag and pulled it up with ease. Mia
gasped, impressed.
"He can even hold it above his head," Kim Dokja egged Mia on and under Mia's shining gaze, Yoo
Joonghyuk had no choice but to entertain her.
Mia almost screamed for joy.
"Oppa, oppa, can you hold it higher?"
Yoo Joonghyuk complied, very aware of Kim Dokja's smug, vexing eyes on him. That bastard was
enjoying this, wasn't he?
Yoo Joonghyuk felt the dagger being pulled out of his hand and his eyes flashed in the direction.
Kim Dokja slid the weapon out of his grasp, hid it in his pocket and flashed him a little smile. Out
of sight, out of mind, huh?
"Do you want to know how to get more stats?" Kim Dokja asked Mia, and Mia had forgotten all
about the stupid dagger she thought was really cool.
"You have to eat healthy food, exercise, go to bed on time and do good things," Kim Dokja said.
Unlike any easily fooled five-year-old, Yoo Mia was smart and hence when she heard Kim Dokja's
reasoning, her look of excitement fell.
"You're lying," she accused.
"I'm not," Kim Dokja said without missing a beat. "You will become stronger if you do that."
Yoo Joonghyuk wasn't sure if he should consider that a lie or not. Technically, Mia would become
'strong'. And Kim Dokja was just trying to impart good manners by making it into a silly game or
something. . .Though, he was tricking his sister. . .
"Stop lying."
"I'm not!" Kim Dokja laughed. "You can try it if you want. Try and see. When you eat healthy
food, your HP stat will go up. And when you exercise your strength stat goes up—" He was even
moving his hands along with his narration.
Was he seriously doing this? Should he make fun of Kim Dokja later for this? Thank him? What
was he supposed to do about this?
"—But you also need rest. Rest helps reset your stats so that the next day, you have full health
bars."
What the fuck was he telling to a child?
"And when you do good things, you get special points."
"You are not lying?" Mia asked again. Kim Dokja shook his head and said, "I'll show you", before
pulling out his phone and going through it.
Then he dropped to the floor, crossed his legs and beckoned Mia to come and watch whatever he
was showing on his phone. Yoo Joonghyuk put the bag down and moved to see what it was all
about as well.
It was one of his old stream videos.
"It's Oppa!" Mia said happily.
"Yeah, he shows other people how to raise levels," Kim Dokja provided. "But in games, so that
other people understand easily."
Yoo Joonghyuk was glad it wasn't one of his usual games, those had too much violence in them. In
the video, he was doing something mundane like picking special fruits and collecting wood.
"See that thing," Kim Dokja was pointing to the health bar on the top of the screen. "That's
HP...See! It's going down. So now he's resting."
Five minutes later, Mia was sitting on Kim Dokja's lap, holding Kim Dokja's phone in her tiny
hands and asking questions every now and then, cheering for her Oppa in the phone whenever the
screen showed fireworks indicating a victory or a completed task.
Yoo Joonghyuk had been pulled down to the floor beside them as well.
He had never shown Mia his streams. She just knew that her brother works for a game company
and goes to college. But seeing her so happy over something so stupid made him feel like it was all
worth it. It wasn't even his best gameplay. It was an old video with a shitty quality and he was
playing a lousy game lousily. But seeing Mia's reactions suddenly made that game one of his
favourites.
He had assumed that Kim Dokja was saying some bullshit from the novels he read, only now did
he understand he was trying to give Mia something to relate to with her brother. And something for
her brother to relate to her.
Kim Dokja was doing this because of one stupid statement Yoo Joonghyuk had told him weeks
ago, while tipsy. His one simple, silly worry that Mia might think gamers were stupid and find
what her brother does for a living embarrassing. It was just a stupid thought that came up from
having read one too many hate comments, that's all.
Yoo Joonghyuk wasn't even planning on visiting that worry ever.
Kim Dokja was explaining the game mechanics to Mia in the simplest way possible. Yoo
Joonghyuk would never have been able to explain all that to her. He was never good with words,
and talking to children was still difficult for him.
Kim Dokja was doing the tough part for him, setting the path, so that he could pick it up where he
had left without worry.
Yoo Joonghyuk jumped slightly when Kim Dokja nudged his side.
The smaller man raised his eyebrows questioningly, silently asking if Yoo Joonghyuk was okay.
And Yoo Joonghyuk could have just cried at that moment.
He pressed his lips together, forcing his mouth to remain shut and looked away from Kim Dokja.
Looking at him now would make Joonghyuk lose control over himself and blurt out the words that
were crowding on the tip of his tongue.
Crush, he had called it. Well, that was clearly not it. At least, not anymore.
He was falling in love with Kim Dokja and he didn't know what he would do without him in his
life.
Four days in and Yoo Mia was crying out excitedly, "Oppa! Oppa!", but she wasn't running to Yoo
Joonghyuk. She only wanted Dokja Oppa now, who would show her more of her brother's videos
and talk to her about her older brother.
His master's place didn't have a computer and their phones were the only entertainment Mia had,
apart from the television. But the television did not show her brother, so she liked the phones
better.
Their frequent cuddle session has evolved into a snuggle fest with Mia on the big divan Namgung
Minyoung had near a nice balcony in the house. Sometimes even Master would join them. They
had even dragged a little tea table out to put glasses of water and plates of snacks on. Kim Dokja's
portable chargers came in very handy and Yoo Mia loved the idea of having a charger that you
could carry around.
Mia was even initiating conversations with Yoo Joonghyuk a lot more. It was something that
happened because of Kim Dokja saying, "Why don't you ask your brother what he thinks?" every
now and then and Mia fell into the habit.
On humid evenings when it rained out of the blue, Kim Dokja would hand Yoo Joonghyuk one of
Mia's story books, ask him to tuck Mia into bed and read the story to her. Yoo Joonghyuk had
never done that before, but he tried under Kim Dokja's insistence.
Mia loved it and even started coming to him with a book, asking him to read it to her.
It felt like they were a normal family now, as though the strained relationship, all the anxiety and
hesitation had never existed in the first place.
"Oppa, oppa, can we buy the firecrackers? The one that goes boom into big flowers?" Mia asked
eagerly, clutching onto his pants.
"They are dangerous," Yoo Joonghyuk told her.
Yoo Mia opened her mouth to say something for a second, but then closed it and ran out of the
kitchen. Yoo Joonghyuk let out a sigh. He knew exactly what she was doing.
A few moments later, she came with Kim Dokja in tow, clutching his hand with two of her little
ones and pulling him to convince her brother.
"Dokja oppa! Tell him, tell oppa," Mia insisted and Kim Dokja, that coward, just fucking gave in.
"It should be fine, Joonghyuk-ah," said Kim Dokja, smiling with a slightly apologetic look in his
eyes. "As long as we are careful—" He looked down at Mia. "You'll be careful, no?" he asked her
and Mia nodded determinedly.
"I'll be suuuper careful, Oppa!" she said.
"And we will be watching her too," Kim Dokja continued. "She'll be fine. Let's get them, yeah?"
Yoo Joonghyuk glared at Kim Dokja.
Yoo Mia didn't stop her chant of "please, please, please, Oppa, please" until Yoo Joonghyuk finally
gave in and said they could go out in the afternoon to get the firecrackers she wanted.
At this, she cheered, jumped into the air, and gave Joonghyuk a hug around his legs and then one to
Kim Dokja before running out of the kitchen to tell Master and Grandma.
Kim Dokja tried slipping away too, but Yoo Joonghyuk's grip on his shoulder kept him from
leaving anywhere.
"She wants to light it herself," Yoo Joonghyuk said through gritted teeth. "It's dangerous. She's a
child. What were you thinking instead of asking her to drop it?"
"Mia is like you," Kim Dokja sighed, ceasing his efforts to writhe out of Yoo Joonghyuk's grasp.
"She's not going to give up until you give her what she wants."
"Which is not a good habit. Stop encouraging her!"
Kim Dokja sighed, rolled back his shoulders and broke free of Yoo Joonghyuk's hold.
"Listen, trust me on this one, okay?" Kim Dokja said. Yoo Joonghyuk could have just punched
him, because no matter how fucking ridiculous the idea sounded, the second Kim Dokja says
'Trust me', he would have given up any real struggle and trusted him blindly.
"It's better to let her play under adult supervision anyway," Kim Dokja was saying, as always
oblivious to Yoo Joonghyuk's struggles. "What if she ends up playing with fire unsupervised
because she thinks the adults will never allow her to?"
"Mia is a smart child," Yoo Joonghyuk said incessantly. He already knew he had lost this bout.
These were just his last, dying efforts.
"She's also very curious," Kim Dokja pointed out. "And very brave."
"You let her run around," Yoo Joonghyuk huffed. "And she's picking up all bad habits. She's
sticking to the phone like you. And she's being reckless."
"Hey, we regulate her phone time, it's fine," Kim Dokja said with an appeasing shrug. "And she's
not being reckless. She's curious like children usually are."
Yoo Joonghyuk rolled his eyes.
"Besides, what is bravery but noble recklessness?"
"I will punch you," Yoo Joonghyuk threatened and Kim Dokja laughed, probably knowing that
Yoo Joonghyuk wouldn't actually be able to hurt him.
"It'll be fine, Joonghyuk-ah," Kim Dokja repeated. "It's better to teach her how to do it right,
instead of her learning it by getting hurt."
Kim Dokja was a fucking bastard who was always right. As much as this peeved Yoo Joonghyuk,
he was glad that Kim Dokja was always right.
"Marry me," Yoo Joonghyuk said, the tension in his shoulders leaving him.
Kim Dokja froze.
"Marry me and take care of Mia with me."
Kim Dokja laughed an awkward laugh and Yoo Joonghyuk let him get away with it. After all, it
had been his fault. He had said something like that out of the blue, he can't expect Kim Dokja to
think he was serious.
Yoo Joonghyuk hadn't meant to say it out loud the first time, it had just spilt out of his mouth
before he knew it.
"What nonsense are you saying, Yoo Joonghyuk?" Kim Dokja was still laughing, a vague air of
nervousness hanging around.
Yoo Joonghyuk let out a loud sigh.
"You clearly know better than me. I can't raise her properly," he said, hoping that it would help
salvage the crack he had just created in their friendship. "Just stay with us and help me."
For some reason, this startled Kim Dokja much more than Yoo Joonghyuk's marriage proposal.
It wasn't until that evening when Mia was giggling over the sparklers she was holding at arm's
length, that it came to him. Yoo Joonghyuk was gripping Mia's hand gently and moved the sparkler
in circles in the air, the golden afterimage lingering and entertaining Mia.
"Draw a heart next," Kim Dokja said eagerly from the side where he was taking pictures of the
siblings on his phone.
It was the first time Yoo Joonghyuk had asked him for something. He usually just grunted, rolled
his eyes or sighed in admission and let Kim Dokja take the wheel. But this time, Yoo Joonghyuk
had actually, verbally asked Kim Dokja for help.
It didn't seem strange to him by any means, but he supposed it was indeed strange for Kim Dokja.
No wonder Kim Dokja was startled.
Chapter End Notes
I was supposed to make them kiss in this chapter, but that plan went off the rails. So
maybe the next one...
Chapter 5
Chapter Notes
I attempted smut, turned out horrible, I almost had a breakdown and finally decided to
use the good old 'fade to black'.
Nice. On to reading, then.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Moving was difficult. Yoo Joonghyuk had not taken into account all the things they had to keep in
mind when living with a child. It wasn't as bad as having to baby-proof the whole place, but there
were still a lot of things that children could hurt themselves on.
When Yoo Joonghyuk found the third wobbly doorknob and the second flickering light bulb, he
flipped his shit and had to be sent out by Kim Dokja before he called up that asshole called Gong
Pildu who had sold them this shitty, hazardous place.
Kim Dokja, it turned out, didn't know a lot about the hazards Yoo Joonghyuk was talking about
and had to look it up on the internet and do a little research of his own until he got the basic idea.
Yoo Joonghyuk had done all of this ages ago, so he was aware of all the things a parent was
supposed to know.
Moving sure was a lot of work. It was not just bringing in their things. It also included arranging all
of it, cleaning the dirty corners and top drawers everybody liked to ignore, fixing all the broken
bulbs and equipment, finding out if any of the wiring is faulty and bringing in an electrician to fix
it.
Kim Dokja insisted on setting up a smoke alarm and Yoo Joonghyuk's only concern had been the
fact that they would be exceeding their set budget for one. Kim Dokja was of the opinion that it
was fine to spend a bit on something as important as safety, and he also offered to pay for it. Yoo
Joonghyuk shot him down, of course, they would get it together.
The flat was so much fancier than their old apartment and so much larger.
"Do you think we got ahead of ourselves?" Yoo Joonghyuk had asked Kim Dokja when he put
down the last cardboard box full of his kitchen equipment and stared at the empty living room.
Their tiny settee seemed so small in front of this.
Kim Dokja didn't reply immediately. Instead, he took his phone, called Namgung Minyoung and
got on a video call with Mia.
"Mia-yah, want to see a tour of your new house?" Kim Dokja said brightly once the greetings and
pleasantries were exchanged.
As Kim Dokja moved around the flat, showing Mia all the rooms and talking about the pretty
butterfly-patterned nightlamp Mia had chosen a while back. Yoo Joonghyuk could hear Mia's
excited chatter and happy squeals and he got the answer Kim Dokja wanted to give him.
This was fine. This was perfectly fine.

"Just a year and half left, Joonghyuk-ah," Kim Dokja said, groaning and dropping onto the new
sofa set in the living room.
Yoo Joonghyuk remembered Kim Dokja asking him something about getting a new sofa and
showing him a catalogue he said he had nicked from somewhere. Yoo Joonghyuk had entertained
Kim Dokja and picked one he thought was really nice and was sure was pretty expensive.
And here it was, a day later, sitting in their living room, their old settee gone. The only attachment
Yoo Joonghyuk had for that settee was that it used to be their cuddle spot, so he wasn't particularly
mad at the upgrade.
But where had it come from?
"What did you do?" Yoo Joonghyuk glared at Kim Dokja who was grinning innocently, which
meant he was anything but.
"Don't worry about it," Kim Dokja said dismissively. "I know a person who said they'd do me a
favour."
Yoo Joonghyuk narrowed his eyes.
"Are you lying?" he said.
"Nope," Kim Dokja said without hesitation. "I really did know a person who helped me out with
getting this thing."
Yoo Joonghyuk realised that there were a lot of things he didn't know about Kim Dokja. He knew
nothing about Kim Dokja's life during those seven years they were apart. Kim Dokja knew most of
Yoo Joonghyuk's story.
"This person is a friend?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked.
"Not really," said Kim Dokja bouncing a little and testing the soft, smooth sofa. "Like they're not
really a friend, but not just an acquaintance either, you know?"
Yoo Joonghyuk in fact, didn't know, but he decided to believe Kim Dokja. As far as he was aware,
Kim Dokja didn't engage in any criminal activities. He might be a bit of a con man, but nothing on
the professional scale. He just happened to have an incredible talent for tricking people.
"What's for lunch? Do you want me to get anything from the store?" Kim Dokja said, draping
himself like a cat across the length of the black sofa.
"Murim dumplings," Yoo Joonghyuk said and Kim Dokja perked up. Kim Dokja had almost cried
when he tasted Murim Dumplings with chicken broth for the first time last summer and crowned it
as his favourite food ever.
"Is it a moving-in celebration?" he said. "No," Yoo Joonghyuk replied. They would have a moving-
in party only once Mia was settled in as well.
It would take a few more weeks for the place to be completely ready and then they would bring
Mia in. They still had to set up the soundproofing in Yoo Joonghyuk's room; he didn't want his
streams to be disturbing or disturbed, and he didn't want to stifle Mia either. Yoo Joonghyuk didn't
want Mia to be exposed to all the dust and noise of the whole thing.
Kim Dokja had laughed and told him that he was being like an 'overprotective mother'. Yoo
Joonghyuk had asked him to shut the fuck up and eat his food or he'd shove the spoon up his nose.
Kim Dokja always loved throwing around words that gave Yoo Joonghyuk some ideas.
While it sort of irked Yoo Joonghyuk that he was being forced to take the 'mother's' role in this
nonsense, he felt it sort of implied that Kim Dokja would be the father figure. In all ways of
speaking, Kim Dokja did match up with the media portrayal of a good father.
And that would mean that they were like a married couple.
. . .Right, his impromptu proposal.
Neither one of them had brought it up and pretended like it didn't happen.
Kim Dokja seemed to think that Yoo Joonghyuk was just sincerely worried about Mia. Of course,
he was worried that he wouldn't be enough to take care of Mia, but it wasn't just that. Yoo
Joonghyuk couldn't really bring himself to say that to Kim Dokja's face.
Sometimes a little doubt would creep up in his mind. Did Kim Dokja like men? Or was he straight?
Then he would console himself saying, no, there was no way that man was straight. No straight
man would be so comfortable with the way Yoo Joonghyuk behaved around him, touching him as
much as possible, hugging him every chance he got, and it wasn't a few seconds hug either, it was
the clingy kind of hug that lasted way too long.
Whatever Kim Dokja was, it didn't seem like he was straight. Then came the issue of what if Kim
Dokja wasn't interested in anyone at all. What was he to do then? Well, Yoo Joonghyuk felt it
should be fine. He just wanted Kim Dokja to stay with him, lover or whatever label he preferred
was fine.
Honestly, there were so many things he wanted to ask Kim Dokja about, but he couldn't bring
himself to. Kim Dokja didn't seem like he would answer either. There was just some strange sort of
distance between them and this distance would widen greatly every time Yoo Joonghyuk even
attempted to find out more about him, so he stopped.
He would wait, until Kim Dokja felt comfortable with him, just like how he was comfortable with
Kim Dokja.
They were drinking again, just a little celebration for the adults on having finished the whole
'moving in' process. Though the television had been set up, they didn't find anything interesting to
watch on it, so they resorted to watching movies on Kim Dokja's laptop.
It was a rom-com that had come out a while back and had been a hit. Since both Kim Dokja and
Yoo Joonghyuk weren't people who cared for movies, they were way too late and were following
the trails the bandwagon had left behind.
He didn't watch all of the movie; he had been sneaking glances at Kim Dokja throughout the hour-
and-a-half movie. He did have a rough idea of the plot.
"You don't like it?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked, wondering why Kim Dokja had such a bland reaction to
what the internet had claimed was the 'most heart-fluttering confession'.
Yoo Joonghyuk didn't listen to it all that properly. It was something along the lines of fighting
against the world for love or whatever. The way it was put into very poetic words did sound nice,
but nothing compared to Kim Dokja asking him what the point of having skills was if he couldn't
help him with it.
It made Yoo Joonghyuk feel seen. Really seen, all vulnerable and useless and still considering his
shoddy story worth witnessing and giving him a hand should he ever need it.
"It's fine," Kim Dokja shrugged. "I don't really care for romcoms."
Noted.
The movie ended and Kim Dokja didn't look like he had enjoyed it all that much. Yoo Joonghyuk
had seen him much more excited when he was reading his novels. . .Then again, the novels Kim
Dokja read had a very different plot and setting compared to the movie they had just watched.
"Was the plot not good?" Yoo Joonghyuk said, wanting to know what Kim Dokja was saying.
"It was fine," Kim Dokja said again. "I just thought the romance was a bit. . .immature."
It was a good thing that Kim Dokja didn't comment on a lot of places, except his favourite web
novel platform. He would have gotten absolutely crushed by all the hate for saying something like
that.
"This was a box office hit, you know," Yoo Joonghyuk pointed at the ending credits that were
rolling silently on the laptop screen.
"The story was fine. Clichés do well when it comes to selling, but the story was a bit weak," Kim
Dokja said blinking slowly and putting his can of beer down onto the floor.
"I thought it was fine," Yoo Joonghyuk found the need to comment for some reason.
"Really? That's great."
Something about the way Kim Dokja said that rubbed Yoo Joonghyuk the wrong way. He had
sounded like he was mocking him.
"It's not my fault you don't have a single romantic bone in you," Yoo Joonghyuk scoffed. "I doubt
you'd like romance when your own life is like that."
For some reason, Kim Dokja chuckled.

"Is that right?" he flashed him a wonky grin. "Maybe you are right, Joonghyuk-ah. Romance is not
my thing."
Yoo Joonghyuk felt he had taken it a bit too far and decided to keep shut for a while. Usually, Kim
Dokja would have let the silence stew, but today he spoke up.
"Do you really think that was a good story?" he asked. The video had stopped completely now and
the laptop screen showed the replay button standing out bright on the dark background.
"Weren't they just immature and selfish in the end?"
"Kim Dokja, don't go around saying this to others," Yoo Joonghyuk said, concerned. "You'll get
beat up."
Kim Dokja rolled his eyes and slumped back on the sofa and closed his eyes. "I didn't really like it,
to be honest."
Yoo Joonghyuk thought the movie was good, he liked it too, in fact. It was a story about this CEO
who gets into an accident and gets saved by the female lead and the male lead goes on a search for
his saviour so that he can pay them back. He doesn't hear anything of his saviour and finally gives
up his search and years later, the female lead comes to work as an intern at the male lead's
company. Cue a meet-cute scene, romance, confessions, accepting the confession and all that. The
main obstacle was the technical 'class difference' between the two and how the people in the
female lead's family were wary of the male lead, and how the people in the male lead's family were
trying to break the two lovers apart.
"It was a good story about beating all odds and loving winning against hate and all that," Yoo
Joonghyuk said, feeling like he had to defend his tastes.
"Is that what it was?" Kim Dokja said and to Yoo Joonghyuk's wonderment, Kim Dokja sounded
genuinely curious.
"What else did you think it was about?" Yoo Joonghyuk deadpanned.
Kim Dokja shrugged. "You know, some Romeo Juliet immaturity thing."
"How was that immature?"
"How was it not?" Kim Dokja rebutted. "The guy, he's supposed to be running a multi-million
company, yes? And his idea of courting was giving the girl, an inter, a position that people much
more qualified than her would kill for? He's not running some street-side fast-food truck.
Thousands of employees' lives depend on this company and it prospering. So just putting this new
intern as his Vice-president because he thinks she's 'smart' and a 'genius' or whatever is bullshit."
"It's just a story," Yoo Joonghyuk said pointedly.
"Yeah, a pretty mediocre story," Kim Dokja huffed. "No, the audacity! I completely sympathise
with the dude's grandfather."
"You mean the villain?"
"You mean one of the only reasonable people in the story?" Kim Dokja snapped back imitating
Yoo Joonghyuk's sarcastic tone. And then he proceeded to tell how the stupid male lead was
putting the whole company, its reputation and more at a giant risk by playing hooky with his lover
instead of working. How the female lead wasn't going to end up happy in the long run even though
she had gotten married to the love of her life, because apparently, love was not everlasting and her
family life would be shit because almost everyone in her family hates her, and oh, the arguments
and disagreements that would ensue. Not to mention her reputation at the company, it was basically
nepotism. Imagine hearing shitty rumours about you every day at work and no matter what high
position you sit in, the words would always gnaw at her bones and so much more.
All of it made sense, really. It did. But it was just a stupid story.
Yoo Joonghyuk sighed quietly. Only Kim Dokja would get so invested in something like this. The
reader sure took his stories seriously.
"Put something else," Yoo Joonghyuk said, getting to his feet and dragging himself to get the other
case of beers from the fridge. Yoo Joonghyuk didn't drink often, but he supposed that he had a
considerable good tolerance. . .as long as he didn't chug alcohol like crazy, of course.
Kim Dokja, he wasn't sure, to be honest. . .He just knew that Kim Dokja didn't like drinking and he
got red very fast, even if all he had were a few sips. Yoo Joonghyuk had never seen Kim Dokja
chug his drink, he was very diligent about that and his drinking habits were impeccable. Kim
Dokja always drank very little, so he wasn't sure how bad his tolerance was.
Even that evening, Yoo Joonghyuk was the one who drank the most. He was still fine though, he
just felt a bit sluggish.
"Are you going to drink all of that?" Kim Dokja asked when he returned with the case.
"It's just six cans," Yoo Joonghyuk shrugged. "We can't keep it around when Mia comes."
"Drink tomorrow."
"Can't. I have an assignment to submit."
Kim Dokja sighed and stretched his hand out. "Alright, bring it on."
"Don't drink more than you can handle," Yoo Joonghyuk advised. "I'm not taking care of you if
you get shitfaced."
"I know what I'm doing," Kim Dokja muttered taking the cold can of beer Yoo Joonghyuk was
holding. "You're the one drinking like there's no tomorrow anyway."
"I'm doing no such thing, you bastard," Yoo Joonghyuk grumbled plopping back down onto the
seat he had left a few moments ago.
"No fried chicken?"
"We finished it all."
Kim Dokja groaned. "Let's get more next time."
"I'll make it next time," Yoo Joonghyuk said, liking the idea of a next time. "I think I've got it."
Kim Dokja's face brightened immediately. "Everything you make is fucking delicious, Joonghyuk-
ah. It tastes like true happiness."
Yoo Joonghyuk almost snorted, but managed to keep a straight face and stared at the drink that
fizzed and bubbled as he popped the can open. He handed it to Kim Dokja and took the one he had
been holding instead for himself.
"Thanks, Joonghyuk-ah," Kim Dokja said with a little smile and took a sip.
"What did you pick?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked, having his drink in his hand, scooting closer to Kim
Dokja on the sofa and putting his free hand around the other man's waist. Kim Dokja said nothing
about it, so Yoo Joonghyuk leaned into Kim Dokja's warm body a little.
"Horror? Really?" he said incredulously, seeing Kim Dokja's selection.
"It was right there," Kim Dokja explained. "And we haven't watched it. It's been so long since I've
actually watched Horror. What about you?"
Yoo Joonghyuk hummed in response. The last time he had watched anything horror related was
when had to play a game with a horror setting in it.
"Typical setting," Kim Dokja muttered when the story began with a family moving into a big, new
house that they had gotten for cheap.
"Should we worry about this place being haunted?" Yoo Joonghyuk muttered and Kim Dokja
laughed.
"Nah, this place is fine," he joked. "Let's get an exorcist if you're scared."
"Shut up."
"Wah, our Joonghyukkie's scared of ghosts."
"Shut up or I'll hit you, Kim Dokja."
"Try me," Kim Dokja said, grinning smugly at him and it took all of Yoo Joonghyuk's remaining
self-control to not actually punch the man in the face.
"Just watch the fucking movie," he growled instead.
Yoo Joonghyuk found the horror movie pretty dull. It wasn't particularly scary, it was just the
jumpscares. The makeup work and the props were top---class though.
Kim Dokja seemed to enjoy it though. He didn't look scared in the least by all the blood and
disfigured spirits. He was more interested in the storyline, which had way too many flashback
scenes than Yoo Joonghyuk would have enjoyed.
"Amazing," Kim Dokja had muttered when the ending was explained. "Who would have thought?"
"Really? This was great?" Yoo Joonghyuk said incredulously as the video showed bloopers of the
cast during the shooting of the movie.
"No, it was fine," Kim Dokja said. "I liked the ending."
The end was something Yoo Joonghyuk thought was stupid. The reason why the ghost was
haunting the house wasn't because it had always been existing in the new house, but because it had
latched onto the youngest child years ago and came along with the family to the new place. And
apparently, the new place had some connection to the ghost and strengthened its powers so it was
out for revenge on the person who had killed it—drumroll—the ancestor of the family that had just
moved in.
The plot made sense with all the flashbacks and leaving the watcher in a confused mess of
mysteries, but still, it was just as bad as the romcom, in any case. The ending line was something
about how no one could escape fate or some bullshit.
This time, Kim Dokja asked the first question.
"Do you believe in fate, Yoo Joonghyuk?"
"Dunno," Yoo Joonghyuk felt his words slurring together. He blinked and looked around. Ah, he'd
drunk more than he had expected too. Kim Dokja was playing with the empty cans, making a very
wobbly tower of two beer cans balance on his thigh. It didn't help that he was blinking slowly and
couldn't see clearly to place the third can upon the glorious tower.
"You?"
"Hmm, a little," Kim Dokja said. The third can touched the top of the second one and Kim Dokja
slowly let go of his hand before the whole lot collapsed. Without a complaint, without even a
single noise of dissatisfaction, he collected the cans and went back to building his tower.
"Why?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked. He took his hand away from Kim Dokja's waist and used it instead
to hold the first can in place. When Kim Dokja placed the second can, Yoo Joonghyuk took a huge
swig and emptied the last drops of alcohol he had been holding all this time. He dropped the empty
can into his lap and used his now free hand to hold the second can steady as well.
"It just seems to make sense, you know?" Kim Dokja said. The third can was held tightly in Kim
Dokja's right hand on the tower, and for the first time, even a fourth can joined the tower.
What were they even doing? This was so stupid. Even so, Yoo Joonghyuk couldn't bring himself to
remove his hands. If he did, the tower they had made would collapse and he didn't want that. It was
a silly tower, it was a stupid tower of empty beer cans being held up by two drunk men. It was a
tower so unsteady that it fall if they so much as twitched their hands. And yet they were holding it
in place for some bizarre reason.
"How else can you explain it?" Kim Dokja said, getting his attention away from the cans that were
no longer cold. "There are billions of people in the world. There are thousands and thousands just
in this country and yet we get to meet the people we meet."
"We meet people because we exist, Kim Dokja. What are you saying?" Yoo Joonghyuk said letting
out a deep breath. "You aren't going to meet the President of the United States because you don't
live there. Logically speaking, will you ever have a chance? When you live in South Korea?"
"That's the point," said Kim Dokja. "We exist here, in his place, at this time and all the people exist
in the same place as us, around us. What else is it but fate?"
Yoo Joonghyuk wanted to raise his eyebrows and quip back with something sardonic, but he didn't
have any energy to debate with Kim Dokja about such a ridiculous idea, so he just closed his eyes
in exasperation.
"To exist in the same time as you...It's got to be fate."
There he goes again, the silver-tongued bastard.
Fine, he'd entertain the idea. Their meeting was fate, now what?
Kim Dokja didn't elaborate any further even though Yoo Joonghyuk wanted him to, desperately
now. He couldn't get the idea out of his head anymore.
Fate. . .They were like this because of fate. . .Sounded nice. That out of all the hundred patients at
the hospital, Yoo Joonghyuk got a bed right next to Kim Dokja. That seven years later out of the
blue, his new roommate was Kim Dokja.
"Do you like it?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked hesitantly. "Fate?"
"Eh," Kim Dokja shrugged. He removed the topmost can and put it down, then the third can was
removed as well. Kim Dokja emptied his hands and shook them slightly.
"Fate is pretty ambiguous, no? It can be good or bad and doesn't really give us too much of a
choice," he said.
Why was he being so contradictory?
"I suppose it's our actions that influence fate anyway," Kim Dokja sighed, now staring at the two
cans Yoo Joonghyuk was still holding up for some reason.
"Is that so?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked.
"It is so," Kim Dokja nodded. He touched Yoo Joonghyuk's hands and pried the cans off his grip
and put them down along with the rest of the clutter.
Yoo Joonghyuk felt pretty miffed about how all their effort with the stupid tower had just been
thrown away like that by Kim Dokja in a few seconds. Was it because he had tried helping him?
Kim Dokja kept trying to build it over and over again before, so he was just bored now that he got
it done with?
God, he was seriously drunk, wasn't he?
"You're a fucking bastard, Kim Dokja," Yoo Joonghyuk growled.
"Hah? What did I even do?" Kim Dokja protested against the unjust claim.
"I ought to punch you in the face. . .infuriating bastard. Who said you could touch my tower?"
"What tower?"
"The can tower, you son of a bitch."
"Why is it yours, you jerk?"
"I laid the foundation. It's mine," Yoo Joonghyuk said resolutely. This was an entirely pointless
argument, a surprisingly reasonable part of his brain said. It was pretty helpful, but unfortunately, it
got drowned out by all the other drunken chatter in his head.
"Bullshit," Kim Dokja sneered, slapping his thigh. "Then it's mine. It was built right here, on my
thigh."
"Your thigh, my foot," Yoo Joonghyuk said testily. He grabbed the thigh Kim Dokja had hit, his
other hand curling around Kim Dokja's upper arm. With a harsh tug, Kim Dokja was under him,
pressed to the sofa.
"Give it to me then," Yoo Joonghyuk demanded.

"How much will you give?" Kim Dokja shot back.
"How much do you want?"
"All the money in the world, you bastard."
"That's too much," Yoo Joonghyuk shook the hair out of his eyes so that he could see Kim Dokja
better.
"Are you saying I'm not that valuable?" Kim Dokja huffed.
"It's like ten centimetres of skin, so clearly not," Yoo Joonghyuk countered.
"Is that how land works, you halfwit? Do you just take the first layer of soil when you buy land?
Everything in the ten centimetres is being bought."
"Not everything. Everything means you'll have to drill a hole through the earth to the opposite end.
That's everything. That's not how land works, you halfwit."
What the fuck were they doing? No, no. What the actual fuck were they doing? This was going
nowhere. What sort of drunken squabble was this? Was it because they had stopped halfway? They
didn't drink in moderation where they would be in full control of their senses by the end of it, nor
did they get absolutely wasted. They'd reached some strange middle ground and were now being
fucking weird.
"Will you give it to me or not?" Yoo Joonghyuk snapped.
"Why do you want it?" Kim Dokja asked.
"I just do. Give it to me."
Kim Dokja scowled at him for a few more minutes before he relaxed his expression and let out a
heavy sigh.
"Fine," he relented. "But only because it's you. I'll give it because you asked."
Yoo Joonghyuk blinked.
"You should have asked nicely though," Kim Dokja chided. "Where are your manners? Why're you
being a rude brat? Is this what you're going to teach your sister?"
Kim Dokja had noticed. Yoo Joonghyuk could tell, that sly bastard had noticed the whole switch in
the mood. . .No, maybe it was that way from the start and he was just trying to joke and wiggle his
way out of this again.
Right. . .His actions decided his fate anyway.
It wasn't liquid courage, it was more of an inhibition blocker. Yoo Joonghyuk thought about
kissing Kim Dokja a shit ton of times, but usually, the lack of intoxicating substances in his system
helped him hold himself together. Now that that was gone, nothing held him back.
Yoo Joonghyuk didn't feel like the alcohol was giving him any 'courage'. Honestly speaking, he
was being a reckless coward.
If it goes well, hallelujah. If it sours, he'll say that he was drunk. He felt that the second he
admitted that it was a purposeful action on his part, Kim Dokja would leave.
"Kiss me," he said. Kim Dokja stared up at him blankly for a few seconds, before his eyes
widened.
"What?"
"Kiss me."
"Why?" Kim Dokja's voice cracked ever so slightly and if Yoo Joonghyuk wasn't used to his
mannerisms, it might have missed it.
"I want it. So will you give it to me?"
Kim Dokja looked away from his face, frowning slightly, as though he was thinking about it like it
was some deal at the supermarket. God, he was just so fucking annoying.
With a soft huff, Kim Dokja turned to look him in the eyes again, lifting his hands and holding Yoo
Joonghyuk's shoulders gently. "Some Conquering King you are," he muttered scathingly.
Yoo Joonghyuk did not wait to ask what the fuck Kim Dokja meant by that. He didn't even want to
know what it meant, the only thing he cared about was that it was assent.
They collided and Yoo Joonghyuk was pretty sure that he was the one who nearly knocked their
teeth off with the mere force in which he had kissed Kim Dokja.
Yoo Joonghyuk had never kissed anyone in his life, his knowledge came from the movies and
other video material he had come across. He wasn't all too sure about the other man until he felt
Kim Dokja's cold, trembling lips trying to kiss him back.
Yeah, what did it matter? Shitty movies, a shoddy can tower, a sloppy kiss, what did all of it
matter? As long as it was with Kim Dokja, it was fine. They can learn together. Discuss stories,
build up and break down towers, anything, as long as they were together. Because, as Kim Dokja
had said, the fact that they existed here, at this moment, at this place, together was fate.
Kim Dokja's grip on his arms tightened and Yoo Joonghyuk felt himself being pushed up. He
paused for a second, but when Kim Dokja didn't break the kiss, he almost collapsed right there.
Kim Dokja was just looking for the perfect vantage point. He found it a few moments later on Yoo
Joonghyuk's lap.
Yoo Joonghyuk was someone who would walk out in the streets in the midday summer sun
wearing all black. He could train for hours in the heat and never before had he felt so hot. It was
like his insides were burning up and he simply couldn't find it in himself to dislike it.
Kim Dokja's hand slid down his back, in almost a reassuring manner sending his stomach into
performing hysteric somersaults. Yoo Joonghyuk's own hands found themselves around Kim
Dokja's waist and in his hair. When their teeth clashed for a second time, Yoo Joonghyuk forced
himself to relax.
His eyes were closed. When did he do that? Was Kim Dokja's eyes closed as well? Was he feeling
the same way Yoo Joonghyuk was feeling? He sort of wanted to see Kim Dokja. He wanted to see
how he was reacting, but he just couldn't bring his eyes to open.
Come on! All these years of training and he couldn't even gather the energy to open his eyes
because of one kiss.
But it was not just one kiss. It was a kiss with Kim Dokja.
Kim Dokja's hand had travelled up his back and was now resting on the back of his neck, fingers
softly stroking his nape. Yoo Joonghyuk had been expecting to take Kim Dokja's lips against his
when they parted for a second, just like they had been doing. . .Honestly, he should have expected
it. When hadn't Kim Dokja broken his expectations?
Yoo Joonghyuk's fingers dug into Kim Dokja's waist when he felt a hot tongue lick into his mouth,
coaxing him to open his mouth further. Was it even possible for a tongue to be so hot? And how
the fuck did Kim Dokja know how to do that? Do novels actually teach all of this? Should he try
his hand at reading again?
Weird was one way to describe it. Heavenly was another, and Yoo Joonghyuk was leaning more
toward the latter. God, he was done for, wasn't he?
He felt Kim Dokja's tongue lick the roof of his mouth and when their tongues slid against each
other, he felt shivers run down his spine, his stomach lurching.
It took him a while to figure out that his hands were trembling and in an effort to stop it, he pulled
Kim Dokja closer, his grip stiffening. Kim Dokja hummed into his mouth and Yoo Joonghyuk's
mind went blank for a few seconds.
He was sure he was dissolving, and he may or may not have let out a soft moan. He really wasn't
sure and if he were to ever disintegrate, he felt this would be the best time to do so.
Kim Dokja pulled away and the cold air that had replaced the warmth that went missing wasn't
very welcome. Yoo Joonghyuk forced his eyes open with difficulty. He had to wait for his vision to
adjust to the light so that he could see Kim Dokja clearly, but he didn't need to see anything to
know that Kim Dokja was planning on leaving.
Where did that bastard think he was going?
Yoo Joonghyuk's hand in Kim Dokja's hair pulled the other down into another kiss. Yoo
Joonghyuk had some idea now, he could imitate that, no biggie. Take that, Kim Dokja, you prick.
The burn was still there, but this time it felt as though both of them were burning. Everywhere Kim
Dokja's hands touched seared and the number of times his mind had refused to cooperate when
Kim Dokja panted or let out a quiet noise was lost on him.
Thinking wasn't going to help him much anyway. Half the time he wasn't sure what he was doing,
he was fading away into the heat and left it all up to the will of the universe and Kim Dokja.
They pulled away and their heavy breathing filled the silent room.
Were kisses always supposed to be this draining? Yoo Joonghyuk had to struggle to catch his
breath and it did not help that Kim Dokja had decided that he would rest his forehead against Yoo
Joonghyuk's.
It hit him, that the difficulty in breathing was because he had been too tense and was holding his
breath.
Their breathing evened out, and Yoo Joonghyuk leant towards Kim Dokja, their cheeks touching
each other.
"Joonghyuk-ah?" Kim Dokja called, his voice slightly hoarse and Yoo Joonghyuk close his eyes,
letting out a soft hum. He didn't know what to say at the moment, nor did he seem physically able
to say anything.
His throat was aching and dry for some reason and he could literally smell the warmth radiating
off Kim Dokja. The thudding of their hearts was heard loud and clear, Yoo Joonghyuk was sure
both of them could hear it.
He tilted his head, placing kisses on Kim Dokja's cheeks until he reached his lips and caught them
between his own in a slow kiss. He removed the hand on Kim Dokja's head and dragged it down to
his face to caress his cheeks and jaw just for a second, before continuing to the pale neck, down his
clothed chest and finally resting on his waist.
He pulled Kim Dokja closer on his lap, desperate to feel him. Kim Dokja had the air of
disappearing into the haze again and Yoo Joonghyuk was desperate to have his presence close.
Kim Dokja flinched and made a noise in his throat that stopped halfway and came out as a soft
exhale. Yoo Joonghyuk understood what it was, he had felt it too, making him want to jump out of
his own skin.
No wonder his clothes were feeling all uncomfortable. Why the fuck wasn't his brain working at
all, damn it?
"Yoo Joonghyuk," Kim Dokja's voice said near his ear. Yoo Joonghyuk couldn't bring himself to
respond this time. His pants felt torturously tight. Holding Kim Dokja in place was either the best
or the worst idea he has ever had.
Yoo Joonghyuk shuddered when Kim Dokja grabbed his face with a hand and pressed his lips
against his. Yoo Joonghyuk responded eagerly. Yoo Joonghyuk felt Kim Dokja's hand leave his
face and move downwards to his hands. Long fingers brushed against his knuckles before sliding
under his hand and onto his palm, before holding his hand.
Kim Dokja broke the kiss again and before Yoo Joonghyuk had realised, he had freed himself from
Yoo Joonghyuk's grasp.
"Joonghyuk-ah," Kim Dokja said, running a hand through his hair. "I'm not going to clean the sofa.
It's new, if you ruin it I'm kicking you out."
"What?" The word had fallen out of his mouth half dazed, half incredulous.
"Come on," Kim Dokja said, reaching out a hand which Yoo Joonghyuk took immediately. He got
pulled to his feet and as they stumbled away from the sofa, he vaguely felt like he had kicked a few
things around on the floor, but he couldn't be bothered to look or care at the moment.
Kim Dokja was holding his hand and leading him to his bedroom. . .Ah, no, Kim Dokja's bedroom.
"Hey, your room's shit," Yoo Joonghyuk slurred, tugging at Kim Dokja's hand. "Mine's got
soundproofing."
Yoo Joonghyuk heard Kim Dokja mutter something along the lines of "Troublesome guy. . .Lucky
he's cute."
Yoo Joonghyuk? Cute? The last time he had been cute was probably when he was three, but if Kim
Dokja called him cute, he was taking it. He would be the cutest of cute. He was anything Kim
Dokja wanted him to be.
Though honestly, Yoo Joonghyuk wanted to sweep Kim Dokja off his feet, in a princess carry. He
always thought that would be pretty neat. Well, there's always next time he told himself.
To Yoo Joonghyuk's dull confusion and surprisingly, increasing excitement, he found himself
pushed down on the bed with Kim Dokja crawling up over him.
Okay, in the image in his head, Yoo Joonghyuk had clearly been the one on top. He would seem
like the one on the top, all things considered, and putting him against Kim Dokja.
"You're being a fool," he told Kim Dokja.
"What nonsense are you saying, you sunfish bastard?" Kim Dokja muttered against his lips, and
Yoo Joonghyuk simply allowed himself to get lost in the feeling. He remembered Kim Dokja's
hands being cold at the start of all of this, but now they burnt against his skin. Kim Dokja had long
fingers, Yoo Joonghyuk noticed as they slid under the fabric of his shirt, spreading across his skin,
travelling up his stomach to his chest.
Fuck it. Top, bottom, who cared? Whatever Kim Dokja wants, he was ready to comply.
"Joonghyuk-ah," Kim Dokja's breath ghosted against his neck before he felt a wet tongue paint a
thin coat of sheen on his skin. His hand was still brushing over his skin, making his eyebrows
twitch in anticipation. He really didn't know what to expect from Kim Dokja. Truth be told, he
didn't even know he would get this far.
"Trust me, alright," Kim Dokja said and Yoo Joonghyuk almost groaned.
That bastard. He knew exactly what the fuck he was doing, didn't he?
Yoo Joonghyuk had the urge to throw Kim Dokja off a cliff, then jump off after him. But the
clearly logical part of his brain told him that if he did that, Kim Dokja would stop touching him
and no way in hell did he want that to happen.
Chapter End Notes
Feel free to imagine whatever you want. Did they fuck, did they snuggle, build pillow
forts, did they play patty-cake? Whatever you want them to be doing.
As I said, I tried, okay? It did not work. So I'll go with what I can make work.
Hint anyway, it was Dokhyuk. I want to keep the 0th round and DKOS dynamic for a
chapter or so and then find ways to naturally squeeze in the other rounds into our
normal dude without any regression depression.
Chapter 6
Chapter Notes
Yoo Joonghyuk didn't open his eyes the moment he woke up. He was meditating, hoping that it
would help him make sense of things.
A few minutes later, having reached a lot of conclusions, Yoo Joonghyuk slowly opened his eyes.
If he had been expecting bright sunlight to be pouring into the room and birds chirping, he had
been wrong. The curtains were drawn shut over the windows and the light was turned off.
Yoo Joonghyuk closed his eyes again.
Kim Dokja was a heartless piece of shit.
How dare he leave him alone?
When Yoo Joonghyuk first woke up, he thought all of it had been one freaky dream. Then he came
to terms with reality and had to admit that it really did happen. He wasn't even given time to feel
giddy, because he soon realised that the other side of the bed, where Kim Dokja was supposed to
be, was empty.
Where the fuck was his phone? Yoo Joonghyuk sat up straight, gritting his teeth. His phone, his
phone. . .right, that thing was back in his room. He had plugged it in to charge before they started
the movies and then, well, it lay forgotten as the night progressed.
Honestly, could he be blamed for forgetting about his phone considering all that happened
yesterday?
Yoo Joonghyuk rubbed his eyes and looked around the room. He had never been in Kim Dokja's
room. Of course, he'd seen it and knew the layout, but he had never seen the room Kim Dokja was
living in.
Even back at their old apartment, Yoo Joonghyuk would knock at his door and Kim Dokja would
come out, giving only the smallest of glances into the space Kim Dokja stayed at most of the time.
Yoo Joonghyuk hadn't thought too much of it, until now. Kim Dokja would saunter into his room
at any time. He would even lay himself on Yoo Joonghyuk's bed as he edited his videos, or take his
gaming chair and spin around in it. Yoo Joonghyuk didn't have a problem with that, it was just Kim
Dokja and he was fine with it.
Here he was though...Kim Dokja's room was simple, neat and seemed to hold only the necessary
things. His shoulder bag was put on the chair near the writing desk the room had. There was
nothing on the desk, save for a few folders lined up on top of each other, the dustbin under was
empty, the closet was shut properly, and a pale blue bedsheet and white blankets and pillows. Kim
Dokja didn't have a lot of books even though he read like he needed them to survive. He preferred
the e-version of it anyway; said it was easier to handle than carrying around a physical copy of a
book.
Kim Dokja was a very private person. . .No, that wasn't the word. Kim Dokja hardly ever spoke
about himself. He would technically speak a lot, but he never gave up anything about himself. If
asked, he would skirt around the question and give a vague answer with very little explanation.
Even Yoo Joonghyuk knew very little about the man's life. So every time Kim Dokja accidentally
spilt out a little tidbit about himself, Yoo Joonghyuk would lap it up desperately and keep it in his
heart.
Kim Dokja had been hospitalised for at least a year.

Kim Dokja did not like tomatoes.
Kim Dokja did not prefer oily foods.
Kim Dokja liked his coffee black with little or no sugar.
Kim Dokja almost never let go of his phone.
Kim Dokja worked two part-time jobs.
Kim Dokja was good at studying.
Kim Dokja had gone to Japan a few years back.
Kim Dokja knew some swordsmanship, but rarely ever practised after coming back to Korea.
Kim Dokja said his favourite food was Murim Dumplings and chicken broth. . .What had it been
before? Before he tasted the dish, what was the thing he liked? Yoo Joonghyuk had never asked
and Kim Dokja never found it an important enough detail to share.
Kim Dokja never found things about himself important enough to share. The things Yoo
Joonghyuk found out were either because Yoo Joonghyuk had observed Kim Dokja for so long, or
because Kim Dokja had been put in a tough situation where he was forced to reply.
Is that what he should do then? Should he corner Kim Dokja and not let him go until he tells him
what he truly thinks? Did he regret it? Is that why he ran away?
The house was deafeningly quiet. Yoo Joonghyuk even held his breath, so he could focus on
listening. Kim Dokja was quiet, in almost all aspects of his life. He walked quietly, ate quietly, and
slept quietly. But even so, Yoo Joonghyuk should be able to hear at least something, maybe the
water running in the bathroom, or plates clattering in the kitchen.
There was no one but him in the house, Yoo Joonghyuk concluded finally, taking a breath
painfully.
A part of him wanted to go camp in front of the door in protest until Kim Dokja returned from
wherever the fuck he had gone to. The other part of him won, and Yoo Joonghyuk extracted
himself from under the sheets. He was going to do the same as Kim Dokja did, then. Pretend all
this was just something that he could walk off and be done with.
It irked him to no end that Kim Dokja had still found the time to pick up the clothes that they had
thrown to the floor last night and fold them all up neatly.
When Yoo Joonghyuk left the room, despite what he had told himself, he went to the living room.
Hoping, maybe Kim Dokja was sleeping there instead.
The living room was empty. Too empty, too clean. All the empty cans they had left yesterday were
gone, and so had Kim Dokja's laptop that had been sitting on the coffee table in front of the sofa.
That bastard could even take out the trash, but couldn't leave him a single note or even a text
message?
Doors slammed as Yoo Joonghyuk stomped through the house. He wouldn't have been surprised if
his gums tore with how roughly he was brushing his teeth. Yoo Joonghyuk was rightfully angry.
No, he could have at least sent him a text saying he was leaving.
He shook the water off the toothbrush fiercely and when he dropped it into the holder that sat on
the wall, the toothbrush almost bounced back out of it.
Yoo Joonghyuk had just left the bathroom, making his way to his room, seething, when the front
door opened.
"Oh, Joonghyuk-ah?" Kim Dokja said, looking up from the door handle.
"You're up," he said, his surprise now turning into a smile. "You were sleeping well, so I didn't
want to wake you up."
"Where were you?" Yoo Joonghyuk demanded.
Kim Dokja held up a plastic bag in response.
"You drank a lot last night so I got hangover soup from that place you said was fine."
Yoo Joonghyuk felt the anger in his chest stutter.
"It was super busy in the afternoon," Kim Dokja was saying casually as he took his shoes off and
went to the kitchen. Yoo Joonghyuk followed him without thinking.
"Afternoon?"
Kim Dokja nodded at the clock mounted on the kitchen wall. It was way past two in the afternoon.
Did he really sleep that long?
"When did you wake up?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked, watching Kim Dokja take the plastic boxes out
of the bag, followed by two little bottles of hangover cure and putting them on the kitchen counter.
Kim Dokja pushed one bottle towards Yoo Joonghyuk and gestured at him to take it as he opened
his own bottle, before raising it to his lips. Once he was done with it, he screwed the cap shut onto
the empty bottle and chucked it into the trashcan.
"Not sure," he said finally. "I think somewhere around eleven?"
At Yoo Joonghyuk's insistent glare, Kim Dokja, smiling sheepishly, continued his story. "I took a
shower, brushed my teeth. Then I cleaned up the house a bit. You were still sleeping, so I thought
I'd go get you something before you woke up. But that obviously didn't go as planned."
"You looked so relaxed when you were sleeping, it didn't feel right, waking you up," Kim Dokja
went to get their utensils and their plates.
"Ah, I also made rice," he said as an afterthought as he opened the rice cooker. "I wanted to make
something for you, but you know I'm shit at cooking. So I just made rice. . .When did you wake
up? Did you brush yet?"
It was unfair. It was so unfair how Kim Dokja didn't even have to apologize to make all the rage
and indignation feel like it was nothing.
"Go put on a shirt and come eat."
Yoo Joonghyuk did as he was asked, feeling slightly dazed.
It wasn't that Kim Dokja had run away. He was trying to do something nice for Yoo Joonghyuk
instead. He had cleaned up their mess so that Yoo Joonghyuk wouldn't have to worry about it and
went to get them food.
Honestly, Yoo Joonghyuk wouldn't have minded having to worry about cleaning the house; he
would have liked to do it together. And then they could have made food together.
Kim Dokja could be painfully nice sometimes.
When Yoo Joonghyuk returned to the kitchen with a shirt on, Kim Dokja had already transferred
the food he brought into their steel bowls, rice on the side, chopsticks and a spoon resting beside
each bowl.
"Do you have a headache?" he asked when he sensed Yoo Joonghyuk's presence. "I have some
painkillers if you want, but take it after you finish eating. Let me get it for you."
Kim Dokja walked past Yoo Joonghyuk and he could hear the door to Kim Dokja's room open. A
few minutes later, Kim Dokja was back, waving a strip of tablets in front of Yoo Joonghyuk's face
and then putting them down on the kitchen counter.
"Sit down," Kim Dokja said, taking his own seat at the table. Yoo Joonghyuk followed.
Kim Dokja didn't say anything if he felt Yoo Joonghyuk's gaze on him. He continued eating as
though it was just another day and there was nothing to talk about.
Reluctantly, Yoo Joonghyuk turned to his own bowl of spicy soup in front of him. His brain,
however, was scrambling to remember all he could from last night.
He thought he wasn't drunk, he was wrong. He was clearly not in the right state of mind.
He remembered the part where they had gone to Kim Dokja's room. He remembered them
stripping their clothes, hands roaming all over each other, moaning into kisses and groaning at the
electrifying touches.
Then what?
Right, Kim Dokja was surprisingly knowledgeable about the whole thing. Yoo Joonghyuk could
put on all sorts of disgruntled airs, but truthfully, he was actually glad that Kim Dokja had been the
one taking the role because Yoo Joonghyuk had no clue about what he was supposed to do. . .
.Well, now he did. Last night he was clueless, just an idiot who happened to get too excited.
He remembered Kim Dokja saying something that made him want to punch him. He even tried, but
it didn't work out very well with the situation at hand. He remembered Kim Dokja laughing at him
and saying something else that made him want to bury himself into the pillows and die. What was
it though?
Rack his brains as he might, all of it was a blur, with just a few broken pieces here and there.
Yoo Joonghyuk wanted to know how Kim Dokja seemed experienced. Did he have a boyfriend
before? And why did he have condoms with him in his room? Weren't both of them supposed to be
virgin shut-ins? At least, that's what Yoo Joonghyuk had assumed. Neither of them was very
sexually active, both busy with their own things, and didn't go clubbing or on dates. . .Hang on, he
couldn't be sure about Kim Dokja. Yoo Joonghyuk didn't know every single thing Kim Dokja did.
He wisely didn't ask Kim Dokja. That was a Pandora's box he wasn't ready to open yet.
There was something that had caught his attention last night. He didn't remember what it was now,
just that he had felt strongly about it.
It wasn't strange for them to eat in silence. Yoo Joonghyuk felt compelled to fill it though, he
wanted to force Kim Dokja to talk, but he couldn't bring himself to start a conversation. All the
words that came up to his throat simmered there for a while, then broke apart and fell back into the
pit of his stomach.
"Kim Dokja," he finally croaked out and said man looked up, a spoonful of rice hovering right
before his mouth.
"What?" he said, putting the spoon down.
"What are you?"
Okay, that came out wrong. But truth be told, Yoo Joonghyuk wasn't sure if he could do better than
that. He just had to know. Was he scoping out his competition? Was he anxiously looking for a
sign of confirmation from Kim Dokja that last night wasn't just some drunken mess and he would
actually have Yoo Joonghyuk? Maybe, maybe.
Yoo Joonghyuk had a lot of things he wanted to know, but couldn't bring himself to ask out of
worry that it would chase Kim Dokja away somehow.
"Hungry," Kim Dokja deadpanned. "You?"
Yoo Joonghyuk couldn't even feel indignant.
"Same," he muttered and went back to eating. "It's average."
Kim Dokja sighed. "I bought it from that Aunty Song's place though," he said. "You said it was
fine."
"I said their fried rice was fine," Yoo Joonghyuk had to remind him. "I've never had their hangover
soup."
"Is it bad?" Kim Dokja said, now worried.
"Average," Yoo Joonghyuk repeated. "I could make better."
Yoo Joonghyuk said the twitch of Kim Dokja's lips, the way his eyebrows arched upwards and
before the words were out, he knew that Kim Dokja was going to tease him.
"I'm sure you could," Kim Dokja said. "But would you be able to though?"
Yoo Joonghyuk put his spoon down into the bowl of soup, and exhaled sharply.
"Kim Dokja, come here,"
". . .Why?" Kim Dokja said tentatively, retreating in his chair.
"I'm going to hit you."
"Ehh, come on, Joonghyuk-ah. It was just a joke."
"I'll also hit you as a joke. Come here."
In the end, Yoo Joonghyuk relented by giving Kim Dokja a flick on his forehead, the older man
clutching his forehead and groaning in exaggerated pain.
Yoo Joonghyuk asked Kim Dokja to leave the dishes for him to do since Kim Dokja had already
done so much. There wasn't a lot to wash anyway, just the utensils they used to have their lunch.
Kim Dokja gave in and went to put their clothes in the washing machine instead. Yoo Joonghyuk
wondered if they would be washing their clothes together now. They used the washing machine
and drier separately; one person would put their stuff first and wash, and then the next person's
items go in. Now they also had to add Mia's clothes to the mix. It would just be much more
practical to put everything in together.
"Kim Dokja," Yoo Joonghyuk called, putting the last clean bowl upside down for the water to
drain off it. "Put my clothes in too."
"Okay," Kim Dokja answered immediately.
It was probably the super causal tone Kim Dokja had used, as though they had always been doing
this and he had no reason to be nervous, unlike Yoo Joonghyuk that forced Yoo Joonghyuk to open
his mouth again.
"I'm topping next time," he called through the house.
A few seconds of silence, then Kim Dokja's laughs met his ears.
"Whatever you want, Joonghyuk-ah," Kim Dokja called brightly and Yoo Joonghyuk felt his
whole face heat up. He was glad Kim Dokja wasn't in the kitchen at the moment to see his
embarrassment.
Kim Dokja laughed louder, as though he could see Yoo Joonghyuk's predicament like he was some
omniscient being, always watching Yoo Joonghyuk.
That fucking bastard.
Yoo Joonghyuk turned into a mega loser when he was in love, he realised. He felt it would be fine,
totally fine if Kim Dokja were the one to see him at all his moments, good, bad and worst. His best
moments were obviously with Kim Dokja, so he would naturally be there then.
With Kim Dokja under him on his bed, Yoo Joonghyuk wondered why he looked so calm and
collected. If he thought about it, he was sure he didn't look so relaxed when he was in Kim Dokja's
place. Would Kim Dokja's composure ever waver?
God, how did they ever make such an irresistible man?
"You—You have. . ." Yoo Joonghyuk's throat felt so dry. Kim Dokja smiled and leaned up to trail
kisses down Yoo Joonghyuk's neck making him shudder.
"Tattoos," Yoo Joonghyuk finally finished when he found his voice.
His breath had hitched when they finally got rid of Kim Dokja's shirt and Yoo Joonghyuk was
reminded of just what it was that had made his brain short-circuit the previous night.
Kim Dokja always wore full sleeves, even in summer. Yoo Joonghyuk had just dismissed it as a
fashion preference. He also preferred wearing black most of the time.
But tattoos. . .What he had in his memory were just blurring lines, but now he was seeing the art
that wound up Kim Dokja's pale forearms. Black ink in the shapes of thorny vines with sharp,
small leaves and flowers crowding in his inner forearms and spreading out. How had he never
noticed the dark rings around his wrist?
"You have more," Yoo Joonghyuk remembered. "On your back."
"Good boy," Kim Dokja crooned and Yoo Joonghyuk scowled. He was not going to get swayed by
Kim Dokja's words, not today. There was nothing he could do to stop his stomach from clenching
and his ears from turning red.
"Shut up," Yoo Joonghyuk growled, his fingers coming to wrap around Kim Dokja's neck and the
man only smirked back at him. The smirk was clearly infuriating, but for some darned reason, it
was so enticing.
When he pressed harder at his throat, Kim Dokja closed his eyes slowly and gave a soft groan. Yoo
Joonghyuk was one single nudge away from losing his mind. And this was all Kim Dokja's fault,
that bastard.
Swearing under his breath, Yoo Joonghyuk kissed Kim Dokja hard, relishing the touch when Kim
Dokja brought his arms around his neck, fingers latching onto his hair.
"And your thighs," Yoo Joonghyuk breathed against Kim Dokja's mouth. Kim Dokja hummed in
agreement.
Pulling Kim Dokja up to his chest, he ran his hands down the man's back. It wasn't smooth as it
should have been. Yoo Joonghyuk didn't have tattoos, he didn't know what they were supposed to
feel like. But he knew scars, he had a couple of them on his arms, on his leg, caused by accidents
and other injuries from his younger years.
"Turn around," he said. He wanted to confirm if what he remembered was actually what it was.
Kim Dokja's eyes trembled for a moment before he shuffled to sit up and turn his back for Yoo
Joonghyuk to admire.
He remembered right.
A pair of folded black wings came from his shoulder blades, covering his back, looking as though
he could just spread them and fly off into the night. Each dark feather was painstakingly drawn,
down to the last detail, etched into his skin and covered the scattered scars that Yoo Joonghyuk
felt. Joonghyuk swallowed the lump in his throat. He couldn't see the scars like this, but when he
traced his fingers over the ink that would never erase, he could feel them.
"Are tattoos painful?" he found himself asking.
"Not really," Kim Dokja said. "At least, I didn't think so...Some places are more sensitive than
others, so there's that. And they do use a numbing spray."
Yoo Joonghyuk felt like he was committing some kind of sin by touching Kim Dokja's scars with
his hands. His hands were rough; he used to have callouses caused by holding a wooden sword
years ago but he hadn't held one in so long, the only hardened skin made due to the constant
jamming over keyboards and computer mouse.
Tracing Kim Dokja's old wounds that streaked in every random direction like shooting stars felt
damning. Like he didn't deserve to do that.
He hoped his lips would be more worthy. Kim Dokja shivered when he kissed his back, an arm
around his waist, hand resting on his stomach, holding him against Yoo Joonghyuk.
"When did you get it?" he asked, aware that his voice was hoarse.
"Hmm. . .A few years ago," Kim Dokja said softly. "At eighteen."
"Why?"
Kim Dokja took a while to answer this question. "Remember when I was at the hospital," he said at
last. "I'd fallen from a height."
Yoo Joonghyuk hummed, asking him to continue.
"I hit my back on a rough surface and it turned out like this. . .So, I thought I'd just do something to
cover it up."
Yoo Joonghyuk ran his hand along Kim Dokja's hand, catching his wrist and travelling upwards,
feeling the skin there.
"This?" he muttered on Kim Dokja's back. Kim Dokja trembled in his hold.
"Nineteen," Kim Dokja replied. "Both hands."
There were scars there as well.
"Why?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked again.
". . .I didn't have the best childhood," Kim Dokja managed to say and Yoo Joonghyuk understood.
"Thighs?" he chose to say instead, his hands now moving to grip Kim Dokja's thigh which was still
covered with the soft fabric of his dark pants.
"Twenty-one."
"Why?"
Kim Dokja didn't reply, but Yoo Joonghyuk found an answer in his silence. Yoo Joonghyuk knew
just how neglect could mess up a child, he was also aware that abuse was just as bad. This was
probably Kim Dokja's way of moving on, just like how Yoo Joonghyuk had taken to holding a
wooden sword and swinging it around, Kim Dokja found it by engraving art into his skin.
And Yoo Joonghyuk thought it was beautiful.
He opened his eyes, resting his head on Kim Dokja's shoulder. He didn't know what those flowers
that grew on his arms were. He noticed a few small roses, but the others were lost to him.
He wanted to know what they were and why Kim Dokja chose those in particular.
"You didn't get any at twenty?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked, half curious, half amused.
"I did," Kim Dokja said.
"Where?"
"Behind my ear."
That got Yoo Joonghyuk's attention. Kim Dokja reached his hand out to push his hair away and
show the thin black lines. He wouldn't have noticed it if Kim Dokja hadn't pointed it out to him.
"It's a mix of a bident and a sickle," Kim Dokja said, a little chuckle leaving his mouth. "Not a
pitchfork or something. Hades' weapon. If you didn't know, Hades, the Greek god of the
Underworld, from Greek Mythology—"
"I know who Hades is," Yoo Joonghyuk cut Kim Dokja off. He didn't like that he had abandoned
the trembling voice that felt too real and was back to being his usual annoying self.
"How? Saw it in some game?" Kim Dokja joked and Yoo Joonghyuk bit his shoulder.
"Shut up," Yoo Joonghyuk grumbled, opening his mouth and licking along the slanted line of the
sickle. Kim Dokja gasped and almost jumped out of his grasp, but Yoo Joonghyuk held him closer.
"Do you have more?" he asked.
"My ankle," Kim Dokja told him. Yoo Joonghyuk immediately went to tug the pants up. Dark lines
wound around his ankle like snakes, Yoo Joonghyuk could see a lightning bolt, something that
looked like a pomegranate leaking juice onto a helmet.
"Are you big on Greek Mythology?" Yoo Joonghyuk said when the helmet felt vaguely familiar.
"I guess you could say that," Kim Dokja said. "I do like stories."
Yoo Joonghyuk's heart skipped a beat when he realised that the list of things he knew about Kim
Dokja was growing.
Kim Dokja had tattoos, he seemed to be getting them every year since he turned eighteen.
Kim Dokja likes stories and especially Greek mythology.
"Did you get any last year?"
"What do you think?" Kim Dokja teased. It seemed that he'd gotten his usual mischievous nature
back. Yoo Joonghyuk would complain about it, but the knowledge that the night was long was
enough to keep him patient.
Kim Dokja was covered with beautiful drawings and for the first time Yoo Joonghyuk wanted to
be a tattoo artist, even though his art skills were average at best.
Well, Kim Dokja liked having tattoos, he wouldn't mind he Yoo Joonghyuk left his own pieces on
his skin, would he? He might not be the best artist there, but at least it would be marks he left.
He closed his lips around a spot on Kim Dokja's neck and tasted the skin in his mouth, before
sucking it. He could feel Kim Dokja's pulse and every breath he took, almost in sync with
Joonghyuk's own. He brought his hand to pull down Kim Dokja's pants.
"Won't you tell me, hyung?" Yoo Joonghyuk left a kiss on the blooming red spot on Kim Dokja's
pale skin. He could physically feel Kim Dokja caving in and couldn't stop a smirk from forming on
his face.
"Hmm? Dokja hyung?"
Kim Dokja sucked in a shaky breath and then said, "I didn't feel like getting one recently."
"What if you do later? Where will you get it next?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked.
"Where do you want me to get it?" Kim Dokja said leaning back and pressing his back against Yoo
Joonghyuk's chest as Yoo Joonghyuk's hand massaged his soft thighs, drawing over the old scars
on his skin.
"Get it here," Yoo Joonghyuk said, bringing the hand that had been on Kim Dokja's stomach down
to grab his hips. Yoo Joonghyuk put some pressure on his thumb and watched Kim Dokja's skin
sink under his finger. Kim Dokja bruised easily, Yoo Joonghyuk noticed as he dragged his dragged
his thumb along the smaller man's hips, to his faint V-line.
"What do you want me to get?" Kim Dokja asked.
So there were meanings behind the tattoos, Yoo Joonghyuk noted. He would ask about them some
other time. Right now, he had other things to deal with.
"Anything you want," he said sincerely. "I will love anything you want."
He was a hundred per cent certain that he heard Kim Dokja choke a sob when he said that, though
when he looked, Kim Dokja hadn't been crying nor did he look distressed in the slightest.
Their relationship had changed, it clearly had. Yet Kim Dokja acted as though everything was fine.
It was because Yoo Joonghyuk was both petty and afraid that he did the same. If this was going to
be the new normal for Kim Dokja, Yoo Joonghyuk would pretend like it was the same for him
because he didn't want to worry Kim Dokja.
They didn't talk about it any more than they spoke about doing the laundry; just a small discussion
about who was going to put the clothes in, if they had enough detergent and if anyone had moved it
into the drier. Just a casual topic that didn't need much thinking work to do.
Kim Dokja could be a little mean like that.
Mia loved her new house. There weren't a lot of places to run around like Grandma's place, but
there were a lot of things to jump on. She especially liked Dokja Oppa's bed which was super
bouncy and she liked jumping on it every chance she got.
Kim Dokja would let her. Mia somehow was in Kim Dokja's room more than Yoo Joonghyuk
himself had been.
"I think Mia will steal my room if I just fix a TV there," Kim Dokja joked, dicing the onions as
Yoo Joonghyuk had asked him to.
It was their final year and life only got busier. Kim Dokja was still debating on whether he should
go for another degree or look for a permanent job. Yoo Joonghyuk was in the midst of choosing
members for his team for a competition. Taking care of Mia was easier now that Kim Dokja was
there to fill in Yoo Joonghyuk's mistakes.
"Did you find any good players?" Kim Dokja said, sweeping the onions to a side of the cutting
board with the knife.
Yoo Joonghyuk frowned slightly.
"Sort of," he answered and he even though he wasn't looking at Kim Dokja, he could feel that Kim
Dokja was giving him his full attention and if that didn't make his heart swell like a balloon.
"I found two," Yoo Joonghyuk continued. "Lee Hyunsung, he's our age, college."
"Same college as ours?" Kim Dokja asked and Yoo Joonghyuk shook his head.
"I know him from high school," said Yoo Joonghyuk. "He learns quickly."
"Highschool?"
"Hmm. . .I didn't talk to him much, but we were in the same basketball team."
"You played basketball?"
"A little."
"Were you any good?"
"What do you think?"
"I'm sure you were incredible, it's you we are talking about after all."
Yoo Joonghyuk pretended as though he didn't feel like he was floating.
"What about the other one?" Kim Dokja asked, picking up the topic they had left behind.
Yoo Joonghyuk's frown grew.
"A fourteen-year-old," Yoo Joonghyuk grit out and Kim Dokja raised his eyebrows, surprised.
"Not even of age? Is that allowed? I thought—"
"The company is fine with it," Yoo Joonghyuk said, almost exasperated.
"Is he any good?" Kim Dokja asked.
"Not bad," was Yoo Joonghyuk's answer. That was the problem. Kim Namwoon wasn't too bad, he
just had a weird personality.
"Then what's wrong?" Kim Dokja said.
"He's an edgelord," Yoo Joonghyuk said dully.
Kim Dokja was silent for a few seconds, shocked that those words had come out of Yoo
Joonghyuk's mouth, then he said, "You're not joking?"
"Kim Namwoon's as chuuni as they come. And he's always trying to pick fights with me, to see
who is stronger and who will fall to damnation or some nonsense."
"Oh, wow," Yoo Joonghyuk could hear the amusement in Kim Dokja's voice. He drowned it out
by picking up the cutting board with onions and dumping the contents onto the pan, loud sizzles
filling the kitchen as the onions met hot oil.
"Kim Namwoon is an idiot and Lee Hyunsung is foolish," Yoo Joonghyuk complained. Kim Dokja
wouldn't understand just what he was dealing with.
Kim Dokja reached out his hand and placed it on Yoo Joonghyuk's head, patting him slowly. Yoo
Joonghyuk leaned into the touch.
"You're doing great, Hyuk-ah."
Yoo Joonghyuk left the stove and pulled Kim Dokja into an embrace, sinking into the older man.
"I don't like it," Yoo Joonghyuk admitted. "It's too troublesome."
"You're worried for them, aren't you?" Kim Dokja said softly, his fingers running through Yoo
Joonghyuk's hair in a comforting manner. Kim Dokja reached his free hand to put the stove on sim
and then brought it around Yoo Joonghyuk, patting his back twice.
"This Hyunsung person seems too innocent and Namwoon's too young. Easy targets for the
company to exploit, no?"
Yoo Joonghyuk did not respond. He didn't have to.
"You're a great leader. It'll be fine, trust in yourself. . .It'll all turn out fine, I'm sure. You said
they're not too bad, which means you already tolerate them. They can't be bad people."
"I didn't say they were bad people," Yoo Joonghyuk pointed out. "I said they were troublesome."
Kim Dokja chuckled quietly.
"I'm telling you, it'll be fine," he repeated.
"He's fourteen," the words fell out of Yoo Joonghyuk's mouth. "He goes around disrespecting
everyone. He hasn't got a clue how this industry works. And Lee Hyunsung, that idiot, he'll listen
to anything that's said, has no ideas of his own. I don't know what I'm supposed to do with them."
"I think you should get to know them," Kim Dokja advised. "Do you want me to make a call and
talk to them for you?"
The worst part was that Yoo Joonghyuk actually considered taking up Kim Dokja's offer. It would
make things so much easier if Kim Dokja just sat down and spoke to them about why this national
competition was important and why the lighthearted way in which they were going about it wasn't
going to work out.
"It's fine, hyung," Yoo Joonghyuk mumbled, burying his face further into Kim Dokja's neck. He
used that term only when he was feeling particularly vulnerable.
His ears still burned when he called Kim Dokja 'hyung'. Why was beyond him. He had done many
more embarrassing things with Kim Dokja and said so many embarrassing things, but it was calling
Kim Dokja 'hyung' that would get him all shy and blushing.
But Kim Dokja seemed to like this. So he didn't complain too much about it. Kim Dokja also
pampered him a lot more whenever he called him 'hyung' so it wasn't such a bad deal in the end.
"Joonghyuk-ah, do you want me to take care of this?" Kim Dokja asked again. "It won't take long."
"What will you even do?" Yoo Joonghyuk said, pulling away at the smell of burning onions and
reluctantly giving his attention to the stove.
"You'll see," Kim Dokja said and Yoo Joonghyuk could hear the smirk in his voice.
"Are you going to make scam contracts again?" Yoo Joonghyuk sighed.
"They're not scam contracts," Kim Dokja cried indignantly. "But yeah, I was thinking I'd talk to
them about it properly."
"Talk to me," Yoo Joonghyuk said, the wooden spatula stirring the browning onions in the pan.
"Teach me what to do and I'll tell them."
". . .Okay. If that's what you want, Joonghyuk-ah."
Yoo Joonghyuk felt Kim Dokja patting his arm again. Then he said, "Anything else I can help you
with now?"
"Wake Mia up," Yoo Joonghyuk said. "She seems to have fallen asleep again. It isn't her nap time
yet."
"Got it, captain," Kim Dokja sang as he marched out of the kitchen, into the quiet house to wake up
Mia who had probably gotten tired after jumping around so much and fallen asleep on Kim Dokja's
bed.
Chapter End Notes
It's practically a filler chapter.

And I did say Kim Dokja has tattoos. Was misunderstandings in the tags? Don't
remember, anyway, here you go.
I should be able to get the angst in soon.
Chapter 7
Chapter Notes
After the first time they had slept together, Kim Dokja kept getting him things. It started with little
things like food, a new lunch box set, and some silly cooking gadget, and from there it started
getting progressively more expensive. Gaming equipment, watches, wallets, clothes, et cetera.
On his birthday, Kim Dokja gave Yoo Joonghyuk a black coat. It was the best coat he had ever set
his eyes on, but there were a few issues with it.
One, where would he even wear it? He hardly ever had a reason to dress formally.
Two, why the fuck was it so expensive?
Yoo Joonghyuk looked up the price on the internet and had to rub his eyes to make sure he was
reading all the digits right. It was a branded one that normal people like him would have to go to
the moon and back to be able to even touch.
What the fuck? That coat was now sitting on his bed. Shouldn't he put it behind a glass case or
something?
Yoo Joonghyuk was planning on never touching it and keeping it safe until Kim Dokja revealed
that he had a matching coat in white colour. And the idea of couple outfits broke Yoo Joonghyuk's
mind.
Yoo Joonghyuk had seen this white coat of Kim Dokja's. He wore it very rarely, sometimes,
rushing out of the house saying he was late for some important interview or something.
When Kim Dokja also bought these pretty dresses and accessories for Mia, Yoo Joonghyuk figured
it was best to stop this now.
Since when did Yoo Joonghyuk become a sugar baby? Is that what he was now? And how was
Kim Dokja even getting his hands on such things? Was he actually doing illegal things? He
wouldn't put it past Kim Dokja, seriously.
"Should I kick you out?" said Yoo Joonghyuk and Kim Dokja and Mia looked up from the phone
they were squinting at. Kim Dokja was watching a how-to video about making pretty hairstyles
because Mia's hair was growing longer and she didn't want to cut it.
"What are you talking about?" Kim Dokja said and Mia deciding that this was going to be another
boring adults' conversation went back to watching the lady in the video.
"Did you actually rob a bank?" Yoo Joonghyuk said irritably. "Or did you steal these?"
"Hah?!" Kim Dokja scoffed, offended at the accusation. "I bought it with my hard-earned money,
you brat."
When Yoo Joonghyuk continued staring at him unimpressed, Kim Dokja said, "Did you really
think I earn that little? How do you think I pay for this place?"
"We pay for it together," Yoo Joonghyuk reminded him.
"Do I look like someone who would work minimum-wage jobs?" Kim Dokja rolled his eyes.
"Yes," Yoo Joonghyuk lied. Of course, Kim Dokja didn't seem like he would settle for anything
less than what he deserved. "You work at a coffee shop."
"You haven't even been to my store," Kim Dokja snapped.
"Oppa has a coffee shop?" Mia said, interrupting the conversation and bringing both adults'
attention to her.
"Do you have cakes?"
"We do," Kim Dokja told her. "You know what, you both should come there one day."
Mia cheered brightly and told her oppas all about the sweets she liked to eat.
If Yoo Mia knew how to use Kim Dokja to get her brother to agree to let her do as she wants, Kim
Dokja knew how to use Mia to get Yoo Joonghyuk to do what he wanted. Those two had formed
an alliance against Yoo Joonghyuk. Sometimes he felt if he didn't cook them food, he would have
no authority in the family.
Yoo Joonghyuk had never visited Kim Dokja's workplace. He wondered why he had never done
that before. Kim Dokja had been to his company office a couple of times, he even knew a few of
the workers there. He had even been dubbed Yoo Joonghyuk's manager by some.
Kim Dokja worked at a busy coffee shop settled right in the rich part of the city. Yoo Joonghyuk
had heard the name many times on the internet. Famous influencers would vlog themselves going
to the shop and getting their ridiculously pricey items. Yoo Joonghyuk never had a reason to go
anywhere near the coffee shop though and so he never bothered about it, until now.
It was in the afternoon when Yoo Joonghyuk went to the city, holding Mia's hand in his, listening
and nodding along to Mia's chatter about what her teacher had told her about her colouring which
was so great that they put it up on the board and how she was now going to join an art competition.
Yoo Joonghyuk couldn't help but smile. Kim Dokja was the one who had taught Mia the tricks she
was talking about. Yoo Joonghyuk didn't know much about art, you just had to drag the pencil
across the paper to colour, didn't you?
When Yoo Mia had been doing her kindergarten homework of joining the dots and colouring, Kim
Dokja taught her a few tricks on how to colour nicely.
Yoo Joonghyuk wondered if he had to invest in a car. It would be better and more comfortable for
all of them. He should think about that. Kim Dokja would probably have some idea about that too.
There was a long crowd waiting outside the cafe that was apparently a tourist attraction.
"We have to wait, Oppa?" Mia said, shrinking back and clutching tighter onto Yoo Joonghyuk's
hand at the sheer number of people; there were teenagers, giggling excitedly, a few had cameras
out, and a few well-dressed old ladies and middle-aged gentlemen, even foreign tourists waiting to
get in.
When Kim Dokja said that his coffee shop did reservations, this was not what he had expected.
Yoo Joonghyuk fished his phone out of his pocket, feeling criminally underdressed. He was just
wearing his usual black turtleneck with a leather jacket that Kim Dokja got him some time ago, a
pair of black jeans, and black sneakers. Mia was dressed much more vibrantly and he felt she
would fit into the crowd easily.
He found Kim Dokja's number in his contact list and pressed on the call button. The phone rang for
barely five seconds before Kim Dokja picked up.
"You're here?" he heard Kim Dokja's voice.
"Are you busy?" Yoo Joonghyuk said and Mia looked up at him. "Is that Dokja Oppa?" she asked
and he nodded. Mia pulled her hand from Yoo Joonghyuk's grasp and clung onto his arm, tugging
and looking hopefully at the phone pressed to his ear. She seemed to want to take the phone away
from her brother and complain to Dokja Oppa about how there were too many people. She had to
give up sullenly and let her brother talk because she couldn't get the phone, her brother was just too
tall.
"If you're here, just walk in," Kim Dokja said.
"Are you stupid?" Yoo Joonghyuk snapped. How was he just supposed to cut the line and walk in?
Did he think he was as shameless as Kim Dokja?
"They'll ask you for your name at the entrance and just give your name," Kim Dokja assured him.
"I already took out a reservation for you."
"Son of a b...blueberry," Yoo Joonghyuk said through gritted teeth. Of course, Kim Dokja had
made preparations beforehand. Why couldn't he just have told him then? Yoo Joonghyuk would
have made the reservations himself!
Mia giggled as Kim Dokja chuckled on the other end of the phone.
Yoo Mia had figured out that 'son of a blueberry' or 'little fudge cake' were usually scoldings and
she went around using them when she got particularly annoyed.
When Yoo Joonghyuk first heard her frown at the broken nib of her pencil and darkly mutter, "Son
of a blueberry", he nearly had a heart attack.
Then he felt relieved that Kim Dokja had implemented this policy of using substitute words,
because Yoo Joonghyuk would just throw himself off a cliff if he got a call from Yoo Mia's
kindergarten teacher saying that she had called someone a "son of a bitch".
"See you!" Kim Dokja said brightly and ended the call. Yoo Joonghyuk removed the phone from
his ear and slipped it back into his pocket with a huff.
"I wanted to talk to Dokja Oppa," Mia whined. "Where's Oppa?"
"He's inside," Joonghyuk said, holding his hand out for Mia to take. She did so reluctantly, eyeing
the pocket his phone had vanished into.
"Oppa's inside? He's making cakes?" She asked as Yoo Joonghyuk marched across the street and
right up to the glass door with golden embossments on the handles. What sort of cafe had three
floors? There were three steps that needed to be climbed to reach the doors and they even had
banisters.
How uselessly flashy.
Mia seemed to like it though.
"Maybe," Joonghyuk answered his sister.
"Can we go in?" Mia said, looking at the crowd and watching them near the door. She moved
closer to her brother.
"Kim Dokja said we can."
Mia visibly relaxed. The corners of Yoo Joonghyuk's lips twitched. Kim Dokja had been right. Yoo
Mia was just like him in some ways. The reassurance Dokja's name brought the siblings was
immense.
Yoo Joonghyuk wondered what would happen if Kim Dokja had been pulling a prank and would
laugh at them when they fumbled at the door.
Then he realised that Kim Dokja would never do that. He might like to make fun of him and tease
him at home, but he wouldn't do anything to put his reputation in jeopardy or break Mia's trust.
As Kim Dokja had said, there was someone wearing a uniform waiting at the door. When Yoo
Joonghyuk approached him, the man looked slightly intimidated, but braved on and asked, "Do
you have a reservation, sir?"
"Yes!" Mia cried happily, peeking standing on her tippy toes to see inside the cafe through the
glass.
The man smiled at Mia and Yoo Joonghyuk's glare hardened.
"Name, please," he said, fixing his expression quickly and looking up at Yoo Joonghyuk.
"Yoo Joonghyuk."
A quick scan at the list and the man's smile morphed into a very professional one and held a hand
out, showing them to the door. "This way, sir, miss."
Yoo Joonghyuk took one last glance at the big fancy nameplate that hung above the establishment,
reading 'ELYSIUM' in pretty cursive English. Yoo Joonghyuk had looked up the place on the
internet the night before.
He had known that Kim Dokja was working at a cafe, but he didn't know that he was working at
this particular place. Elysium was practically a brand in itself, there were many branches of the
famous coffeehouse. It might as well have been a luxury brand.
He was going to throttle Kim Dokja if he didn't give him a discount.
Mia tugged at his arm and Yoo Joonghyuk looked down at her as they walked into the cafe.
Mia waved her hand, asking him to bend down and Yoo Joonghyuk did so without questioning.
"It's like a castle," Mia whispered excitedly in his ear and Yoo Joonghyuk smiled softly.
"It is," he said, picking her up.
Inside, once they had stepped over the threshold, warmth enveloped them. Light soothing music
was playing in the background and yet another person asked for Yoo Joonghyuk's name.
Finding the table number reserved under his name, the person said, "This way, please". Yoo
Joonghyuk saw another uniformed person take the place of the one who was showing them their
way.
They were led into a large elevator that made no sound as it moved up the floors. Mia looked at the
large mirror behind her, resting her head on her brother's shoulder and fiddling with the yellow
flower hair clip that sat on her hair.
They got off the elevator on the third floor. Then they walked along a long marbled corridor, Yoo
Mia looking curiously at the already occupied tables and booths.
The long walk was not doing anything to quell Yoo Joonghyuk's anxiety. If he thought the people
outside were well-dressed, he was clearly wrong. It seemed like only important meetings happened
in this place. Even the first floor hadn't been like this. The music was still there, but there was a
quiet, solicitous whisper that filled this floor.
Where the fuck had Kim Dokja brought him to, goddamnit?!
Yoo Joonghyuk really was underdressed for this place. Among the expensive-looking business
suits, is a man with a casual jacket and jeans. How ridiculous is that? Even the employees'
uniforms looked like tailored suits. He could see Kim Dokja's smirk in his head already. That
fucker.
"The roof is pretty, Oppa," Mia's voice brought him back to earth. Yoo Joonghyuk followed his
sister's gaze and looked at the high-set ceiling. It was an artwork in itself.
Yoo Joonghyuk nodded, and then he remembered that he was supposed to teach Mia the correct
words for things. Usually, Kim Dokja did this, but now he wasn't here so Yoo Joonghyuk had to do
it.
"Ceiling," he told her. "It's called a ceiling."
"Ceiling?" Mia repeated and Joonghyuk nodded again.
Mia was still looking at him expectantly and Joonghyuk figured out what she was waiting for.
Damn that sly bastard he was so in love with. The fucking asshole.
Kim Dokja would have gone on to explain the difference between a roof and a ceiling and would
have proceeded to talk about the ceiling and its speciality while using his phone to aid his
explanations.
It was fascinating to be on the listening end, of course. Kim Dokja used very simple and
understandable language, spoke clearly and slowly and let Mia ask him questions, and he would
answer no matter how silly they sounded.
"A ceiling is like this," Yoo Joonghyuk attempted, nodding at the ceiling overhead. "A roof is like
the one on houses."
"The one with the black and blue boxes?" Mia asked and it took Yoo Joonghyuk a few seconds to
realise that she was talking about the water tanks she had seen.
Yoo Joonghyuk could have just nodded, but he didn't want to give her the wrong information, so he
said, "Those are rooftops."
Mia's expectant gaze was on him again and Yoo Joonghyuk had to hold in a pained sigh.
"Rooftops are the flat ones on tall apartment buildings," he tried. "Roofs are the ones you have in
the house drawing in your book."
"Can a house have both?" Mia asked.
Yoo Joonghyuk was no quitter, but this might just be the hardest game he had ever played.
Sensing her brother's distress, Mia patted Yoo Joonghyuk's shoulder with her little hands. Yoo
Joonghyuk couldn't help but notice just how similar it was to what Kim Dokja usually did. Two
pats, a pause, then another pat, this time the hand lingering for a while, before leaving his skin.
Mia had probably seen Kim Dokja doing this often and learned it.
"It's okay if you don't know Oppa," Mia said. "It's not a bad thing."
"I don't know," Yoo Joonghyuk admitted and Mia seemed satisfied.
"Well done, Oppa," Mia said, now patting his head and Yoo Joonghyuk let out a heavy exhale.
"It's a good thing that you know what you don't know," Mia said, a hint of pride in her tone. "Now
you can ask Dokja Oppa and he'll tell you."
She bent her head down, and whispered as though she was revealing a great secret, "Most people
don't know what they don't know and they never learn."
Yoo Joonghyuk thought hard about where he had heard this conversation before, and then he
remembered. Kim Dokja had told Mia this.
One evening when Mia was weeping because she just couldn't figure out how to do subtraction,
kept getting all the answers wrong but wouldn't ask anyone for help, Kim Dokja had consoled her
by saying similar words.
Yoo Joonghyuk was preparing himself to console Mia by picking her up, patting her back and
assuring her that it was all fine, but Kim Dokja managed to handle it better within minutes, just by
talking and giving Mia a few head pats.
Then he called Yoo Joonghyuk over and the three of them did kindergarten-level subtraction
together, Kim Dokja even spun a game out of it and made Mia and Joonghyuk 'win' the game by
'losing' himself. At least Mia was happy and an expert in subtraction by the end of it.
Yoo Joonghyuk was seriously considering asking Kim Dokja to write a parenting book or
something, he would make a lot of money.
The employee leading them to their table finally arrived at the place and picked out the plank
reading 'RESERVED' in English and holding it behind their back.
"Have a nice time, sir, miss. I will let Manager Kim know that you are here."
Yoo Joonghyuk frowned. He pulled out a seat and set Mia down on it, before pushing it back
towards the table.
Manager Kim?
"Oppa, are you angry?" Mia asked seeing her brother's expression as he sat down on the chair
beside her.
The round table had three chairs placed around it and was situated near a large, clear glass window
that let them see the dazzling fountain in the little garden below, surrounded by flowers and neatly
trimmed bushes.
"It's so pretty, Oppa! Look at that. Don't be angry."
Yoo Joonghyuk would have said that he wasn't angry, but that would be a lie. Kim Dokja had a lot
to explain.
Mia hopped out of her chair a few seconds later and went to press her hands against the glass and
look out into the garden.
"Oppa, butterflies!" she said excitedly, bouncing slightly on her feet. "So many butterflies and
birds!"
If Mia hadn't been enjoying herself, he would have punched Kim Dokja through the stupid window
when he decided to show up.
It took a few minutes for Kim Dokja to finally arrive.
Yoo Joonghyuk had looked up when he heard hasty footsteps coming at them and his mouth
almost fell open.
. . .Okay, maybe this was a good thing. Yoo Joonghyuk had a sudden appreciation for the
establishment. The person who designed the uniforms was on to something.
Kim Dokja was wearing a suit Yoo Joonghyuk had never seen before. A black blazer, and under
that, he wore a black vest that buttoned up around his waist perfectly over a white shirt, with
matching trousers. The outfit was complete with a tie and a golden nametag pinned to his chest.
"You're here," Kim Dokja said brightly. His neck was steadily turning red, which meant that he
noticed Yoo Joonghyuk checking him out. Yoo Joonghyuk had to bite down the smirk that
threatened to break out on his face.
"Dokja Oppa!" Mia cried happily, detaching herself from the window and running to the man who
had just arrived. She skid to a halt a few steps before the man and her mouth fell open.
". . .You look weird, Oppa," she muttered and Yoo Joonghyuk noticed Kim Dokja's face twitch
ever so slightly. It made him want to laugh.
"Weird? How so?" Kim Dokja asked. "Is it ugly?"
Mia shook her head. "It's weird," she shrugged.
"That's because I don't dress like this often," Kim Dokja said, almost defensive. He raised a hand
and pressed his hair down to his forehead, as though that was somehow going to help him hide.
Yoo Joonghyuk didn't like that.
"Kim Dokja, sit down," Yoo Joonghyuk said and Kim Dokja picked up Mia, deposited her onto the
chair she had been sitting on before and then took the last empty seat. He dropped the two dark
leather-bound books onto the table and pulled his chair forward.
"Menu," he said.
"Oppa, oppa," Mia called. Joonghyuk turned to her, but she was looking at Kim Dokja, pointing at
the garden below. "Can we go there?"
"If your oppa says okay," Kim Dokja said and Mia turned to Joonghyuk with her puppy eyes.
"After we order something," he said picking up a menu and Mia cheered.
"Oppa, oppa," she called again, and it was still Kim Dokja she was calling this time. "Did you
know they called me 'miss'?"
"Did they now?" Kim Dokja said, a soft smile spreading across his face. It was a smile Yoo
Joonghyuk loved seeing. Kim Dokja's forehead would smoothen out, the corners of his eyes
crinkling ever so slightly, the smile reaching his eyes first, before his lips curled up both sides.
"Mmhmm," Mia said, kicking her legs pleasantly in her seat. "They were really nice."
"Of course, they have to be," Kim Dokja said, picking up the second menu from the table. He got
up from his seat and walked around the table to Mia. Then he fixed his suit, straightened his back
and held the menu out elegantly.
"Your menu, little lady," he said, bowing a little and Mia giggled. Then she played along, sitting
properly in her chair, her legs no longer moving as she took the menu with one hand.
"Thank you," she said, lowering her voice a little, making both Kim Dokja and Yoo Joonghyuk
hide their smiles. Mia was just so adorable when she tried imitating her brother.
The menu was a bit too heavy for her to hold with a single hand and Yoo Joonghyuk had to catch it
before it slipped.
Kim Dokja went back to his seat and rested his hand on the table. "Mia-yah, you can read the menu
with your oppa," Kim Dokja said, causing Mia to prop the menu on the lap and open it.
She tried reading the best she could, but it was no easy task. The menu was in complete English
and Mia hadn't started learning English yet. So she turned to her brother for help.
Joonghyuk helped her the best he could, but when she spotted him struggling with a few words, she
instinctively looked at Kim Dokja for help.
Hearing Kim Dokja read out loud shouldn't have to be as taxing as it was, seriously. But it made
Yoo Joonghyuk both curious and aroused at how Kim Dokja didn't have the usual Korean lilt when
he pronounced the foreign words, sounding like a native speaker instead.
Yoo Joonghyuk vowed to look up English classes online to brush up on his skills. His foreign
language skills were limited to the stuff taught in school.
"You are getting us a discount," he told Kim Dokja. The items listed on the menu had no prices
mentioned.
"Okay," Kim Dokja chuckled.
If Mia hadn't been frowning at the English squiggles on the menu, she would have asked what a
discount was and Yoo Joonghyuk was all up for seeing Kim Dokja put on the spot as well. How do
you explain the workings of discounts to a six-year-old?
"Where's your menu?" he asked.
"Don't need one," Kim Dokja waved it away. "I work here."
That reminded him—"Manager Kim?" Yoo Joonghyuk hissed looking up to stare at the golden
badge stuck to Kim Dokja's blazer. It read, in English again, 'D. KIM'. A bit pretentious, really.
Why wasn't there a single sign in Korean in this entire establishment?
How was Kim Dokja even a manager? Since when did they promote part-time workers to a
manager position? And did an establishment like this one even hire part-time workers?
"Did I never tell you?" Kim Dokja said, tilting his head to the side curiously.
"No," Yoo Joonghyuk glared at him. He wanted to point it out to Kim Dokja that he never told him
anything until Yoo Joonghyuk forced it out of him. But he didn't, that was a topic that could and
would escalate to a petty argument and he didn't want to do that in front of Mia.
In Yoo Joonghyuk's head, they were already like Mia's parents. They even acted like it. It would be
pretty funny if Yoo Joonghyuk and Mia showed up at Kim Dokja's workplace with packed lunch in
the afternoon.
"Eh, sorry, Joonghyuk-ah," Kim Dokja was saying. "I think it slipped my mind. It never seemed
important."
How did something like this slip anyone's mind? How was this not important?
Yoo Joonghyuk kept his silence because of Mia. He turned his gaze to the menu in his hands.
"Is it weird that I'm the manager?" Kim Dokja asked.
"No," Yoo Joonghyuk said truthfully. Knowing Kim Dokja's personality, of course, he would be in
a position with some sort of power.
"You know English," Yoo Joonghyuk changed the subject, hoping to appease his frustration by
finding something else about Kim Dokja. He could feel Kim Dokja's eyes on his as he read through
the menu.
Kim Dokja gave a little nod and a light hum.
"Didn't you learn in school?" he said jokingly. "Or did our Joonghyuk-ie slack off instead of
studying?"
Yoo Joonghyuk only glared at him and if Mia hadn't been there at them moment, he would have
threatened to punch Kim Dokja.
"Do you also know Japanese?" Yoo Joonghyuk chose to say instead. Kim Dokja nodded again.
"I picked it up while I was in Japan. . .Master—Kyrgios knows Korean though."
Picked it up while in Japan? Were languages that easy to learn?
"Are you some kind of genius?" Yoo Joonghyuk said before he could stop himself, and Kim
Dokja's light laughter filled the air.
"Nope," he said, his eyes shining. "I stayed in Japan for around three years. I used to be terrible at it
when I first arrived there."
"You lived in Japan for three years?" Yoo Joonghyuk said. This was new information.
"Yeah."
"Why?"
"Eh, just like that," Kim Dokja shrugged. "I got bored of this place so I hopped countries."
"Stop saying nonsense," Yoo Joonghyuk scoffed. "You'll get thrashed when you go to the
military."
Kim Dokja grinned at him.

"Did you pick something?" Kim Dokja asked him. "Or do you want me to recommend something?"
Yoo Joonghyuk did have a few options in mind, but he decided to take a risk and said,
"Recommend."
Kim Dokja's smile widened and he reached for a button under the table and pressed it. Of course,
there was a button to call the staff.
"Don't you have to work?" Yoo Joonghyuk said, feeling slightly annoyed.
"Do you know what breaks are?" Kim Dokja drawled, leaning back in his seat.
When the staff arrived a couple of moments after they had called for them, the woman bowed
towards Kim Dokja who tilted his head respectfully.
Yoo Joonghyuk noticed the difference in the uniforms now. Kim Dokja had a blazer and a tie, that
the other waiting staff didn't have. . .He wondered how Kim Dokja would look in a bow tie though.
Kim Dokja opened his mouth and ordered a whole bunch of stuff. Yoo Joonghyuk could feel his
hands itch with the urge to punch the little grin off Kim Dokja's face. Was this because he had
asked for a discount?
When the lady left, with their orders taken down on a digital tablet, Yoo Joonghyuk growled, "Kim
Dokja."
The bastard smiled at him. "What?"
"Dokja oppa," Mia said before Yoo Joonghyuk could say anything, accidentally saving Kim Dokja
from Yoo Joonghyuk's scoldings.
"Do you always wear that when you are here?" she asked.
"Yes, it is my uniform, so I have to," Kim Dokja told her. "It's like your school uniform. To let
everyone know that you are going to school."
Mia nodded, understanding. She closed the menu like her brother had and reached out to put it on
the table, on top of the menu Yoo Joonghyuk had slapped onto the table a few seconds prior.
"Why didn't you tell me to dress appropriately?" Yoo Joonghyuk said, remembering just another
issue he had with this whole situation.
"What do you mean?" Kim Dokja asked. "You look fine to me."
"We are dressed casually," Yoo Joonghyuk hissed at the stupid man and the bastard had the
audacity to say, "So?"
"Kim Dokja, are you an idiot?" Yoo Joonghyuk said, gritting his teeth.
"You look fine," Kim Dokja said quickly before Yoo Joonghyuk actually cursed at him. "I didn't
think it would matter, what you wore,"
"You've got this confident air around you," he said waving his fingers slightly, making small
circles in Yoo Joonghyuk's direction. "Like what you wear wouldn't do anything to damage your
image."
"You look cool no matter what you wear, you protagonist sunfish," Kim Dokja even gave him a
thumbs up.
Kim Dokja, that fucking asshole.
Yoo Joonghyuk felt his ears turn red and the heat travelling down to his neck. If Mia weren't here,
he would have dragged Kim Dokja off to the men's washroom and kissed him stupid.
But since he couldn't do that here, he would wait until he got home.
Mia's eyes almost popped out of her head when they pushed a large cart laden with four different
types of desserts, and three wonderfully decorated drinks. The waitress placed them on their table
neatly, bowed and then left.
"Dokja oppa, you are the best!" Mia cheered and Joonghyuk felt slightly betrayed.
Kim Dokja laughed and said, "You should tell that to your brother, he's the one paying". So Mia
turned to her brother and gave him the widest smile she could muster and said, "Oppa, I love you
sooo much! You're the bestest!"
If Yoo Joonghyuk was mad about Kim Dokja having tricked him into spending at least two
months' worth of his salary on one single afternoon outing, it melted away when he saw Mia's
expression.
Right, what was the point of making money if he couldn't use it to make the people he loved
happy?
"It's an iced caramel macchiato," Kim Dokja told him.
"I can see that," Yoo Joonghyuk responded.
"That's a strawberry smoothie," Kim Dokja turned to Mia. Mia stared at the tall glass in front of
her. She could see the pink and white drink through the glass, a huge swirl of whipped cream on
top, adorned with sliced strawberries and two strawberry wafers sticking out of it beside the straw.
"Of course, they have fancy names on the menu," Kim Dokja said dismissively. "But it's just the
plain old stuff, really."
Yoo Joonghyuk decided not to focus on the irksome things in life and look at better things. Like his
sister, for example. Mia was frowning at her drink.
Mia contemplated for a good two minutes before she decided to pull out a wafer and munch on it
first. Then she took hold of the glass with her hands and guided the white straw to her mouth.
Yoo Joonghyuk glanced at Kim Dokja who was having his usual iced americano, watching Yoo
Mia with a pleasant expression on his face.
The coffee honestly tasted like the ones at any other cafe. . .Okay, maybe it was slightly better. Not
worth all the hype or the price though.
Mia seemed to think the place was the epitome of happiness. The way she had giggled when she
found that there were little strawberry cubes at the bottom of her glass and excited told her oppas
about it, and how she seemed to love that Kim Dokja had ordered four different types of desserts
just for her.
"You're spoiling her," Yoo Joonghyuk had chided when Kim Dokja told Mia that she could do
whatever she wanted as long as her brother approved of it. That ended with Mia going to see the
butterflies in the garden downstairs.
"It's not spoiling if you do it once in a while," Kim Dokja retorted, he always had something to say.
"It's giving a little treat."
"Seriously, Kim Dokja," Yoo Joonghyuk sighed. "Marry me. . .I really need you to do this."
"It's really not that difficult, Joonghyuk-ah," Kim Dokja said watching Mia along with Joonghyuk.
Yoo Joonghyuk didn't think Kim Dokja understood just how sincere he had been just then. He
didn't push it.
"Kim Dokja, go with me to the movies," Yoo Joonghyuk said. He was asking him out on a date, he
hoped Kim Dokja would catch on. No, he was sure the man would. Kim Dokja always seemed to
understand him.
"Okay," Kim Dokja said. "Is there a movie you want to watch?"
"Not yet," Yoo Joonghyuk answered. "I'll look it up after getting home. When will you be back?"
"Usual time, after my shift is done."
"No overtime?"
"Nope."
"You won't get in trouble for all of this?"
Kim Dokja shook his head with a smile. "No, this is fine."
When the time to pay came and Yoo Joonghyuk moved to get his wallet, Kim Dokja stopped him.
"It's on the house," he said and Yoo Joonghyuk really, really wanted to punch the stupid grin of his
stupid face.
"What's on the house mean?" Mia said curiously.
"Mia, wait for a minute," Yoo Joonghyuk said sharply and Mia looked up at him in surprise. Her
brother didn't speak to her like that often.
"I have to talk to Kim Dokja."
Mia stayed quiet with an obedient nod.
"Kim Dokja—"
"It's really fine, Joonghyuk-ah," Kim Dokja said hastily. "It's seriously on the house."
The waitress who was waiting on the side nodded along, perhaps noticing Yoo Joonghyuk's rising
indignation, turning into anger.
"Courtesy of Mr Kim," the lady said and when Yoo Joonghyuk's glare turned to her, she seemed to
wither a little.
"Yoo Joonghyuk, it's fine," Kim Dokja continued. "I won't get in trouble or anything, so don't
worry. It was always supposed to be on the house. I should have told you before, I didn't mean to
cause a misunderstanding."
Yoo Joonghyuk didn't want to make a scene in public, especially when he was with Mia so he
clenched his jaw and shot Kim Dokja a glare. He was going to hear about it at home.
"You will always be welcome here, Mr Yoo, Miss Yoo," the waitress said as they were leaving and
Yoo Joonghyuk glared at Kim Dokja who was accompanying them again.
Logically speaking, there was no reason for Yoo Joonghyuk to feel as angry as he did. Mia had a
good time, he had a good time, the desserts could be considered passable even, and he got off
without having to empty his wallet.
But for some reason, he felt insulted.
He wasn't some sort of charity case. He made a good sum from all the streaming and gaming he
did. He could have paid and walked out of there proudly.
He knew Kim Dokja hadn't meant any harm, but it was annoying. Kim Dokja was always giving
him things. He was thankful for the gifts Kim Dokja bought, clearly with him in mind, but he was
not a fucking sugar baby!
Kim Dokja never let Yoo Joonghyuk do anything for him and was always only giving him things,
doing him favours. And when Yoo Joonghyuk tried doing something for him, he would brush it
away like it was nothing.
Yoo Joonghyuk hated how no matter how hard he thought, there wasn't a lot he could do for Kim
Dokja even if he wanted to.
Yoo Joonghyuk didn't want to argue, he really didn't. He didn't want to fight Kim Dokja. And as
much as his master's idea of sparring with Kim Dokja sounded appealing at the moment, he
decided it was best to cool his mind down and force Kim Dokja to sit down and talk to him. That
man was always running his mouth anyway, he could spare an hour or so to talk to Yoo Joonghyuk
about this. Yoo Joonghyuk would make sure he did.
For the first time in a couple of years, Yoo Joonghyuk went out for an evening run. He had been
busy with Mia, work and college that exercise took a backseat.
He was so out of shape, damn it.
Chapter End Notes

Now, I know I said angst.
But I got some cake and I decided to give some more domestic moments, sweet
memories, a few misunderstandings sprinkled here and there.
It's all firewood to throw into the angst flames later. So it's all good.
Chapter 8
Chapter Notes
Double update ma dudes

If you've opened this chapter, you might want to check if you've missed the previous
one
More fluff (sort of)...Fillers are all I can produce after eating cake. I decided I wanted a
birthday scene and so you have this
Am I being hasty? Is the pacing shit? Probably. I'm just writing whatever comes to
mind, as it comes to mind.
Kim Dokja had been practically wrestled into submission once Mia was put to bed.
"We have to talk," Yoo Joonghyuk spat.
"Is this about earlier?" Kim Dokja said anxiously. He reached out and cupped Yoo Joonghyuk's
cheek, an intimate action he didn't initiate unless they were in bed.
They were not in bed at the moment but were sitting on the sofa in the living room. Kim Dokja was
trying to distract him and that was not happening.
"I do not like this, Kim Dokja," Yoo Joonghyuk said seriously, glowering at Kim Dokja. "I don't
like what you do."
"I'm sorry, Joonghyuk-ah," Kim Dokja said, scooting closer, their knees knocking together. "I
really didn't mean to make you mad. I arranged everything the second I asked you to come to the
store."
"Who asked you to spend so much on me?" Yoo Joonghyuk snapped, a muscle jumping in his jaw.
Kim Dokja ran a soothing hand over his cheek.
"I just wanted to, Joonghyuk-ah," Kim Dokja said. "Besides, it wasn't as much as you think."
"Did you get it cut out of your salary?"
"Not really," Kim Dokja shook his head. "I sort of know the owner of the place and they said it
was fine."
"How many people do you know?" Yoo Joonghyuk had to force his voice to be quiet. He did not
want to wake Mia up to this. "Just how many people do you know? You seem to know everyone."
Kim Dokja crawled onto his lap and pressed his forehead against Yoo Joonghyuk's.
"I just. . .I just talk to people and they introduce me to people they know," Kim Dokja said
cautiously. "And. . .I just. . .I don't know, I just talk to them for a while and get to know them."
"That's how I got the job there, at Elysium. A part-time librarian doesn't bring a lot of money, so I
tried to get a better job that wouldn't affect my studies. And luckily, I happened to know this
man...he's a bit weird but nice and he said I could try at the store."
Yoo Joonghyuk closed his eyes.
He listened to Kim Dokja's story and though he usually trusted Kim Dokja blindly, for the first
time, he wondered if he was just lying through his teeth.
"He turned out to be pretty high up and a huge shareholder of the company and they thought I was
someone great, so they just let me do whatever I want," Kim Dokja said. "I didn't try to correct the
misunderstanding, that's all. . .You know, my usual scamming."
Kim Dokja's despairing attempt to joke it off and appease Yoo Joonghyuk's ire made Yoo
Joonghyuk give in.
"I'm sorry, Joonghyuk-ah. I didn't mean to make you angry," Kim Dokja said, kissing him lightly
on the lips. "Sorry, hmm?"
When Yoo Joonghyuk finally brought his arms around Kim Dokja in an embrace, Kim Dokja
whispered to his mouth, "I'll do anything you want, Yoo Joonghyuk."
Kim Dokja might as well be a devil incarnate. He seemed to have inherited the sly tongue of Satan
that coaxed Eve into breaking God's rule. Kim Dokja could tell him anything, even the most
upsetting thing and he would do it for him.
"Room," Yoo Joonghyuk managed to say between the sweet kisses Kim Dokja left on his lips. No
way they were doing this in a place Mia stayed in most of the time.
Kim Dokja stood up and easily pulled Yoo Joonghyuk to his feet, then dragged him to his room,
making sure to switch off the lights in the living room on their way out.
"Mia's birthday is coming, do you want me to get something from work?" Kim Dokja asked at two
in the morning. Yoo Joonghyuk hummed his agreement and buried his face in Kim Dokja's chest,
tightening his grip around the older man's waist. He just loved how nice it felt to hold Kim Dokja.
"Strawberry or chocolate?"
"She likes strawberry better," Yoo Joonghyuk mumbled.
"Should I get a big one? You know, a tiered cake?"
"Are you stupid?" Yoo Joonghyuk scoffed lightly. "It's just three people eating it. Get a normal-
sized cake."
"She can take it to school if she wants, share it with her friends," Kim Dokja said.
"They have different groups," Yoo Joonghyuk told him. "They'd get into fights. She's eating cake
at home only. . .She might have to get candy for her classmates though."
"Are you going to buy it with her?"
"Mmh."
"What about decorations?"
"On the cake?"
"Yeah."
"Normal."
"What's that supposed to mean? It's the trend these days to print cartoon characters onto cakes, you
know."
"Does your coffeehouse make those?"
". . .No."
"Then why the fuck're you mentioning that?"
"I was putting forward all options."
"All options my foot. . .Go to sleep, Kim Dokja."
He felt Kim Dokja's head bend down and rest on his, the steady rise and fall of his chest as he
breathed, the tender stroking of fingers on the back of his neck. Yoo Joonghyuk felt he wouldn't
mind it if this moment stretched out for eternity like this.
A giddy sort of excitement was bubbling in his chest, in stark contrast to the sleep in his eyes and
the exhaustion of his body.
It was pillow talk. They were basically having a pillow talk.
Now was really a perfect moment for a confession. Of course, he wanted it to be on a nice date, but
sincerity was better with these things. The perfect moment had just presented itself, he would be an
idiot to not take it.
It felt like those clichéd movies where one character fumbles around trying to propose and finally,
they end up proposing in a ridiculous, completely unexpected, rather un-romantic moment and the
one who receives the confession simply blooms into a huge smile or yells back, either way saying
yes.
"Mia sure is growing up fast, no?" Kim Dokja spoke.
Of course, this jerk would manage to disturb a perfectly nice moment. Now the chance was gone,
you bastard!
"You are going to enlist after this year, right?"
"That's the plan," Yoo Joonghyuk said. ". . .Two years," he muttered to himself.
Two years without Mia and Dokja.
It was going to be torture.
"The company wants me to push it back," Yoo Joonghyuk told Kim Dokja.
"Don't do that," Kim Dokja advised. "Mia is growing up fast. It's easier to handle kindergartners.
You should be there with her when it starts getting tougher."
"You'll be there too," said Yoo Joonghyuk and he felt Kim Dokja flinch slightly.
"I'll leave Mia in your care when I go," Joonghyuk said when Kim Dokja remained silent.
"If...if you'd trust me with that, I'll do my best," Kim Dokja said and Yoo Joonghyuk didn't miss
the quiver in his voice.
"Kim Dokja, I'll trust you with my life," Yoo Joonghyuk told him. "My life is yours to take."
". . .What would I do with your life?" Kim Dokja said trying to sound nonchalant and failing. "I
just want you to be happy, Joonghyuk-ah."
Happiness, was that it?
A little over half a year, Yoo Joonghyuk had thought that the happiness everyone spoke of would
never be his and he would just have to get used to the little crumbs of satisfaction and contentment
he got occasionally.
Then Kim Dokja walked into his life, a few minutes late and everything changed.
"I am happy," Yoo Joonghyuk stated.
"That's a relief," Kim Dokja breathed out.
Kim Dokja was late for Yoo Mia's birthday celebration. The house was all decorated, the cake
from Kim Dokja's work place had been delivered a few hours ago and was brought out now,
candles standing upright and unlit, and the siblings sitting on the sofa, waiting for Kim Dokja to
come home.
"Call oppa, no?" Yoo Mia told her brother, sulking on the sofa, her pout hadn't left her face in
almost half an hour.
"He says he's getting a gift," Yoo Joonghyuk said holding out his phone so that his sister could
read Kim Dokja's text.
"You said he already bought my gift," Mia said accusingly.
"He did," Yoo Joonghyuk replied without hesitation, ratting out Kim Dokja's idea for a surprise.
"He wrapped it up and hid it in his room, saying it's a surprise."
Mia frowned.
"Since Dokja Oppa is late he can't scold me if I take the gift now," she said hopping off the sofa.
"He never scolds you," Yoo Joonghyuk told her, typing a text to Kim Dokja, telling him about
Mia's plan. He was being a snitch on both sides.
Mia paused on her journey to Kim Dokja's room, and spun around, her pretty pink and blue dress
fluttering around her. Then she placed her face between her open hands.
"Dokja Oppa likes me more because Mia is very cute like a pretty flower," she said tilting her head
to the side and smiling widely.
In his astonishment, a laugh escaped Yoo Joonghyuk's mouth. Yes, yes, Mia was very cute indeed.
Giggling, Mia ran off to Kim Dokja's room to fetch her gift.
"Where did you learn that?" Joonghyuk called after her.
"TV," the girl sang. Then in a much more business-like tone asked, "Where does Dokja Oppa hide
things?"
"In his closet," Yoo Joonghyuk answered and a few seconds later Mia's happy "Found it!" was
heard throughout the house.
Yoo Joonghyuk couldn't wait for Kim Dokja to come home and tell him what Mia had done. It was
a shame he couldn't record it.
When Kim Dokja wasn't home after ten more minutes, Yoo Mia snatched her brother's phone from
his hand and called Kim Dokja herself.
Before Kim Dokja could even say hello, Mia spoke.
"Kim Dokja, you are very late," she said, using the stern tone Joonghyuk usually used when he was
mad at Kim Dokja.
"Ah, Mia-yah, I'm sorry!" Kim Dokja said frantically on the other side. "I got stuck in the traffic.
I'm right there. I'll be there soon."
"How soon?"
"Very soon."
"How much is very soon?"
". . .Uh...five minutes."
"Five minutes only, okay, Oppa? If you are any late you are getting kicked out."
Yoo Joonghyuk was smiling throughout this whole conversation.
"Kick—Kicked out?"
"Yeah, Oppa can sleep outside if you don't come home in five minutes," Mia scolded. "Dokja
Oppa, I'm going to really hate you if you don't come home in five minutes okay."
"One minute is already done," Yoo Joonghyuk told Mia, adding fuel to the fire.
"Yoo Joonghyuk!" Kim Dokja cried in exasperation.
"Yeah, one minute is done," Mia snapped at Kim Dokja through the phone.
"Mia, Mia-yah, let's make a deal, okay?" Kim Dokja said quickly.
"No."
Yoo Mia really did learn a lot from Yoo Joonghyuk. He wasn't sure if she had even understood
what Kim Dokja had said or if she had just shot down whatever he was saying without a second
thought just the way Yoo Joonghyuk did whenever he was annoyed.
"Listen, Mia. On my way back, I'll get you that Berry Berry Strawberry Swirl ice cream," Kim
Dokja negotiated.
Mia faltered.
Yoo Joonghyuk knew by experience that it was Kim Dokja's victory from this moment onwards.
"The big one? In the box?" Mia asked slowly. "The one we saw before?"
"Yeah, that one," Kim Dokja said.
"I want two boxes," Mia declared.
Yoo Joonghyuk tapped her sister on her shoulder and shook his head when he got her attention.
Two boxes were way too much, and he had seen those boxes they were advertising. It was the size
of two normal ice cream tubs itself.
"Eh, two is too much, Mia-yah," Kim Dokja said reasonably. "And your brother will be mad."
Mia pouted.
"I'll get you choco bars instead, okay?" Kim Dokja said, as though sensing Mia's distress. "Three of
them. All for you."
Mia jumped the offer.
"Okay!"
Every time they bought choco bars, they bought them in threes, one for each of them. It must sound
exciting for Mia to have all three of them to herself. But it didn't mean it was healthy.
"Kim Dokja, no," Yoo Joonghyuk said.
"But oppa!" Mia whined and as usual, Kim Dokja took her side.
"Come on, Joonghyuk-ah," Kim Dokja said using his stupid con man voice. "She won't eat it all at
once, now, will you, Mia?"
"I won't."
"See? Mia is a smart girl, she knows what she has to do."
"I do!" Mia nodded along. "I'll only have two and keep the last one for tomorrow."
"No, eat tomorrow. You have cake today," her brother told her and would take no protests on this.
"Only one then," Mia said. Yoo Joonghyuk didn't budge.
"Half?" she pleaded.
When her brother's stern look didn't falter like it usually did, she turned to cry to Kim Dokja.
"Dokja Oppa, come home fast. Oppa is being so mean to me," she wailed. "Come home and talk to
Oppa."
"Mia, it doesn't matter if Kim Dokja comes home or not," Joonghyuk said, slightly irked that her
sister thought he was going to be so easy and that he would just let Kim Dokja tell him what to do
every time. This was a very bad habit to cultivate, he had to nip it in the bud.
"You have cake today and ice cream, so no more sweets."
Water pooled in Mia's eyes, a tactic she had taken up recently when she found that both Yoo
Joonghyuk and Kim Dokja were weak to her tears.
Luckily, Kim Dokja wasn't there to see sad puppy Mia and could still keep his composure, unlike
Yoo Joonghyuk who panicked.
"Mia-yah, you should listen to your brother," Kim Dokja said. "No, no, listen to me," he said
before Mia could complain.
"When I come home, we'll cut the cake and give you a biiig piece," he said. "And then we'll have
dinner Joonghyuk cooked, then we'll open your presents. Then we'll eat Berry Berry Strawberry
Swirl. You can have a biiig bowl."
"By then don't you think you'll be full?"
"I want to eat choco bars," Mia said weakly, her determination fading at the thought of so much
tasty food.
"You can eat them," Kim Dokja assured her. "They are all yours. You can eat one tomorrow, then
one the next day, and one the day after. Now you have choco bars for three days!"
"That's not how it works, Oppa!" Mia said indignantly. "I want three now. I know I can eat one a
day. I still have only three, Oppa."
"You are not eating three choco bars in a day," Yoo Joonghyuk warned. He would not relent next
time, even if she came with tears in her eyes. Three choco bars in a day was a big fat no.
"Ah, ah, you two," Kim Dokja said before the siblings got into another argument. "I'm walking into
the shop now. For the ice cream."
"For Berry Berry Strawberry Swirl?" Yoo Mia said.
"Yep, that one. I'll buy it fast and come home okay? Twenty minutes. Twenty minutes only, okay,
Mia?"
"What about my choco bars?"
"I'll get that too."
"Twenty minutes only, okay, Oppa?" Mia said. "Any more than twenty and you're kicked out."
"Got it! Bye, Mia-yah...You too, Joonghyuk-ah. I'll see you two at home."
Kim Dokja cut the call and Mia returned the phone to her brother. Then she folded her arms and
huffed out, displeased.
She kept an eye on the clock throughout the twenty minutes, asking her brother how much time
had passed since she didn't know how to read time yet.
Yoo Joonghyuk spent the twenty minutes thinking about how once he was back from military
service he was going to ask Kim Dokja to marry him. He would make sure that the older man knew
he was being serious this time. He'd buy a ring, get down on one knee and all that. They could go
abroad and get married and come back, who was going to say anything to that?
They only had to ask Mia about it and Mia liked Dokja as well, it would be fine.
Nineteen minutes and twenty-three seconds in, Kim Dokja rang the doorbell and was gasping,
trying to catch his breath when Yoo Joonghyuk opened the door. At the nineteen minutes fifty two
seconds mark, Kim Dokja was inside the house, lugging a lot of things in with him.
"You are spoiling Mia," Yoo Joonghyuk frowned at the gigantic gift-wrapped box Kim Dokja had
placed down by the wall.
"It's her birthday," Kim Dokja said, waving it away. "I'll do this for your birthday too, okay?"
"If you're late for my birthday, I'll kill you, Kim Dokja," Yoo Joonghyuk said as Kim Dokja
ignored him and rushed to greet Mia.
"Mia, I'm here. Before twenty minutes," he was saying happily, holding out the bag with the ice
cream tub which Mia took greedily.
"Choco bars?" she demanded.
"In there," Kim Dokja said, collapsing on the sofa. ". . .I see you took my surprise gift out."
"It's not my fault, Oppa was late first," Mia said, confirming the number of choco bars in the bag
and nodding her approval.
"Well, luckily," Kim Dokja said pulling out another little box from his pockets, wrapped in a
sparkling green wrapper and holding it out in front of Mia. "I have another one for you."
Mia's eyes widened.
"Two gifts?" she said.
"Three gifts!" Dokja said and Mia squealed.
"THREE?!"
"Four in total, if you add your brother's also," Kim Dokja told her and Yoo Mia was jumping in
euphoria.
Yoo Joonghyuk rolled his eyes, and picked up the surprisingly heavy gift Kim Dokja had left near
the door. It was thin, but wide and long, like a television set. He did not get Yoo Mia a TV for her
room.
Kim Dokja was getting a punch in his stomach and getting kicked out for the night if he actually
brought a fucking TV set for Mia. She was already getting addicted to phones because of how Kim
Dokja was, and she said she really wanted a computer because her brother had one. If Kim Dokja
thought a TV was the solution to this, he was so fucking wrong. One TV in the house was enough.
Joonghyuk brought the gift to the living room to put it next to the other presents, making sure to
scowl at Kim Dokja and announce his displeasure at his actions.
When Mia saw the large gift she gasped so loudly that it scared the two men for a second.
"It's so big!" she said, her eyes wide as saucers.
"That's from me and your brother," Kim Dokja said and Yoo Joonghyuk flinched.
Kim Dokja had a habit of doing this shit all the time. That was another bad habit to be fixed. Kim
Dokja was really going to have a talk with him once Mia went to sleep.
They lit the candles, and sang the birthday song, clapping along, Kim Dokja was surprisingly on
key, and Yoo Joonghyuk alarmingly off, so by the second stanza, he let Kim Dokja do the singing
bit and resorted to speaking the birthday song out instead.
"We need a hat next time," Kim Dokja whispered in Yoo Joonghyuk's ear as Mia smiled widely,
making a wish before blowing out her candles. Yoo Joonghyuk nodded.
Yoo Joonghyuk helped Mia cut the cake with the plastic knife, while Kim Dokja took a video to
send to Namgung Minyoung later on.
"You have to feed it to her," Kim Dokja told Yoo Joonghyuk. When Yoo Joonghyuk looked
confused, he gave out further instructions. "Break off a little piece and feed it to Mia."
Yoo Joonghyuk did as he was told.
They had celebrated Mia's birthday before, just the two of them, but Yoo Joonghyuk wasn't aware
of this custom. He would just clap along to the birthday song that he played on his phone while
Mia blew out the single candle on the cake he had bought. Then he would cut a slice, serve it onto
a plate and give it to Mia. He didn't like the cake a lot either, so he would just save it in the fridge
and Mia would have dessert for a while.
No one had really celebrated Yoo Joonghyuk's birthday much for him to actually know how this
went. He just applied the little knowledge he had gathered from popular media. If it wasn't for his
official documents and his master reminding him, he would have forgotten that such a thing even
existed.
He was learning a lot of things now. Kim Dokja had insisted on either a candle shaped in the
number six, or six individual candles. He told that they sold ones that erupted in sparkles when lit,
then died down before you could blow them out. Yoo Joonghyuk shut down that idea as soon as it
fell out of Dokja's mouth. That was a fire hazard, it was, and he wouldn't relent no matter how
much Kim Dokja insisted it would be safe.
So they got six normal candles and lit them all on the cake.
"Now Mia-yah, won't you feed your brother too?" Kim Dokja said. Mia nodded eagerly and
imitated what her brother had done. She had to stretch her hand out and even stand on tippytoes to
barely reach Yoo Joonghyuk's chest. So Yoo Joonghyuk knelt down to her level and accepted the
cake she fed him.
It was still passable. Better than the ones he had had before, for sure. But still not stellar.
He hadn't really given baking a hand, but he ought to try it when he got some time. It should be like
cooking, no?
"Go," Yoo Joonghyuk told her sister, nodding at Kim Dokja's direction.
Kim Dokja let out a little surprised noise when Mia took a little piece of cake and walked around
the table to feed Kim Dokja, who had hastily stopped recording and put the phone down.
"I'll come there," he said, hurrying towards them.
"I'll feed you first," he said, gently pushing down Mia's outstretched hand.
"Why?" she frowned.
"Because it's your birthday, you get to have cake first," Kim Dokja explained. Mia accepted this
reasoning and ate the little piece of cake Kim Dokja fed her. Then she held up her hand again for
Kim Dokja to eat.
Kim Dokja patted her head with his clean hand wishing her a sweet, "Happy Birthday, Mia-yah. I
hope you can be happy for a long, long time."
"Eat it, oppa," Mia whined, shaking her hand at Kim Dokja's face. Kim Dokja chuckled and
listened to her.
"Thank you," he said, tapping his finger on her nose. Mia groaned when she felt the cool, wet
cream touch her nose.
"Opppaaa, why?" she cried, quickly wiping the cream away as Kim Dokja laughed.
"Oppa, let's kick Dokja oppa out," Yoo Mia told her brother and Yoo Joonghyuk felt that when the
biggest gift was unwrapped and it ended up being a TV as he believed it to be, Kim Dokja was
going to sleep outside for the night.
"Did you know that cream can make your skin soft?" Kim Dokja said.
"Stop speaking nonsense, Dokja Oppa," Mia snapped at him, going to wash her hands in the
bathroom.
"Look what you're teaching your sister," Dokja said, watching her little back walk away from them
still standing around the coffee table in front of the sofa.
"You're the one to talk," Yoo Joonghyuk spoke without missing a beat. Then he had to leave to
help Mia open the bathroom door because someone just had to put cream on her.
"I want to put cream on Dokja Oppa's face too," Yoo Mia was saying when the returned. Kim
Dokja had already moved the cake away to the dining table in the kitchen and taken the plates out.
"Don't waste food," Yoo Joonghyuk told his sister.

"But Dokja Oppa did it," Mia grumbled.
"And that's why he is getting little cake as punishment," Joonghyuk assured her. Justice will be
served in this household, however, skewed it might be if they actually thought about it.
As they sat at the table, eating cake, Mia talked happily about what her classmates said when she
distributed chocolates in class that morning. Try as hard as he might, but Yoo Joonghyuk couldn't
remember a single birthday of Mia's where he had sat along with her and eaten cake.
He would be in the kitchen with her, sure, and he would also make sure that she finished her slice
of cake while he finished the dishes and other chores.
He wouldn't have done it today either if Kim Dokja hadn't forced him to do so.
He didn't remember Mia ever talking so much either. She was just as taciturn as her brother, but
now she seemed a bit more like a child her age. She was still quiet and indifferent around her peers,
but at least at home, she grinned brightly and behaved like any happy child would have.
Kim Dokja was listening actively to Yoo Mia's rants, asking her questions, nodding along and even
giving excellent reactions, encouraging her to continue speaking.
Maybe some deity had seen Yoo Joonghyuk being miserable all his life and had seen his troubles
so they sent this precious person his way. Maybe some god had seen Yoo Joonghyuk's fate, felt
pity and made this perfect being just for him, for him to find when the time was right and finally
feel like he was actually living.
Dinner, upon both Mia's and Dokja's insistence, was eaten on the sofa. They sat together, Mia in
the middle, balancing their plates on their knees, watching some kids' programme that Mia liked to
watch on the TV.
Then came the part Mia was most excited about. Presents.
She opened Joonghyuk's present first. It was the dollhouse set she had seen on TV a while back,
complete with a door that moved, a Barbie and a car for Barbie.
Kim Dokja's not-so-much-of-surprise-anymore present was a pair of cutesy rollerblades.
"What?" Kim Dokja had said when Yoo Joonghyuk glared at him. "They said six-year-olds can
skate. Besides, Mia said she wanted to learn."
Joonghyuk turned to Mia, who shrugged her shoulders and said, "I don't remember."
The excitement in her eyes when she saw the skates didn't miss Yoo Joonghyuk's notice. Nor did
the way how she avoided answering properly.
The little box Kim Dokja got her had a pretty bracelet with butterfly charms hanging between the
bright, colourful beads and Mia asked her brother to help her put it on immediately.
Finally, they moved on to the thing Yoo Joonghyuk had been glaring at all this time.
When Mia peeled off the shiny green gift wrap and a dull, brown cardboard met their eyes, Yoo
Joonghyuk readied himself for a fight. Kyrgios Rodgraim can eat shit, he was going to thrash his
disciple and honour Namgung Minyoung's name if it ends up being a motherfucking TV.
Luckily it was not, and no blood was shed.

It was instead a large, landscape frame with dark wooden borders. They placed it precariously on
the coffee table in the living room. There was a white film covering the gap space in the middle
and Yoo Joonghyuk didn't realise that it was filled until Kim Dokja peeled the film away.
It was a photograph of Mia and Joonghyuk playing with sparklers in the evening. Kim Dokja had
taken the photo himself, last summer at Namgung Minyoung's place. Yoo Joonghyuk hadn't
realised that it had come out so nicely.
"Wah, it's Oppa and me," Mia exclaimed. "Can I touch it?"
"You can touch, it's fine," Kim Dokja told her. "Don't scratch though."
"Is this why you were late?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked, ignoring his heart that was thudding against
his ribs.
"Yeah, the order got delayed a bit. It was supposed to be delivered to the cafe, you see," Kim
Dokja said as Mia touched the photograph, then looked at her fingers to see if any paint got on her
hands. When she confirmed that it was fine, she pressed her palm gently against the picture.
"So I went to pick it up myself," Kim Dokja continued. "And then I got caught up in the traffic.
You know the rest."
"You're doing it again," Yoo Joonghyuk told him. "You should have discussed it with me first."
"I just wanted to give you guys a surprise," Kim Dokja said innocently and he had the nerve to give
Yoo Joonghyuk that sweet smile of his to make it so that he couldn't even argue back.
"We should put it up on the wall soon," Kim Dokja said loudly to the room. "Where do you think
is a good place, Mia?"
Mia pointed to the empty space on the wall behind their heads.
"Are we allowed to drill holes in the wall?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked.
"I didn't read anything saying we couldn't when we signed the contract," Kim Dokja shrugged and
that was that.
Mia finally got her gigantic bowl of ice cream, an amount Joonghyuk clearly disapproved of but
had to admit defeat and agree that they could let loose a bit for Mia's birthday. He did make sure
that she drank a glass of warm water, and brushed her teeth properly before he took her to bed.
Kim Dokja was done cleaning the kitchen halfway when Yoo Joonghyuk returned.
"Kim Dokja, room," was all he said, before he left. Luckily, Kim Dokja was right at his heels.
"Is something wrong?" Kim Dokja asked when they entered Yoo Joonghyuk's room. It would seem
that something was wrong with the way Yoo Joonghyuk was acting. Kim Dokja fidgeted
awkwardly for a few seconds before gathering Yoo Joonghyuk against him in a gentle embrace.
It took a while for Yoo Joonghyuk to find his voice. "Why?"
"Why what?"
". . .The photo."
"Ah, that," Kim Dokja said. "You like taking pictures of Mia, but you don't have any framed so I
thought I'd get a frame for her birthday and you could pick out a photo together. I was looking for
nice frames at the store and then I saw these big ones hanging around and I thought why not? Go
big or go home."
Kim Dokja spoke so blithely that it hurt Yoo Joonghyuk to listen. Did he not understand just how
much it meant to him?
"I remembered I had a nice picture of you two and then I got it fixed," Kim Dokja finished his
story. "I think it turned out fine. It was fine, wasn't it?"
What ever reason was he asking Yoo Joonghyuk's approval for? Of course, it was fine. It was
more than fine.
"You should really keep more pictures of her around, you know," Kim Dokja was saying. "You
have a whole extra hard drive with just Mia's photos and videos over the years."
Yoo Joonghyuk finally collapsed into Kim Dokja's arms.
"Mia said it was the best birthday ever," he said. "She's had six birthdays so far. This was the best
one."
Kim Dokja laughed, it was not mocking. It was sweet.
"She was a child then," he told him reasonably. "She probably doesn't even remember. She'll say
it's the best birthday next year as well. Don't worry."
"I'm not worrying," Yoo Joonghyuk shook his head. "I'm thanking you."
"What's there to thank me?" Kim Dokja said, still lighthearted. "What are friends for?"
Everything shattered.
Yoo Joonghyuk pulled away and took Kim Dokja's hands in his. He brought his head down and
kissed his pale fingers, then his palms. He kissed his knuckles, the veins that ran on the back of his
hand. He was aware that his lips were trembling when he kissed Kim Dokja's wrists.
His heart was aching. Not metaphorically, it was physically hurting. He wondered if it was a heart
attack, and then he decided that he wouldn't mind if he died right now. In fact, he would even
welcome it.
Kim Dokja was a man of many talents. For all the captivating, almost magical words that he said,
it only made sense that Kim Dokja's lips would be able to spill out the most mercilessly cruel
things.
"Joonghyuk-ah?" Kim Dokja's voice was laced with concern. It felt like a knife to his chest.
"Joonghyuk-ah, what are you doing?"
What was it? What about this was awful? Why couldn't he understand? Why didn't his feelings
reach him? He seemed to know everything else, so why not this?
"Yoo Joonghyuk!"
Kim Dokja pulled his hands away from his grasp and Yoo Joonghyuk couldn't bring himself to
look up at Kim Dokja's face so he kept his head bowed.
He felt Kim Dokja's hands clamp over his cheeks and force his head up.
"Joonghyuk-ah, what. . .What's wrong?" Kim Dokja asked.
Kim Dokja's lips smashed against his and Yoo Joonghyuk did not put up even the faintest
resistance.
"Joonghyuk-ah, please, tell me," Kim Dokja kept whispering against his lips. "Tell me what's
wrong."
What was wrong was how Yoo Joonghyuk, despite being larger and taller than Kim Dokja felt so,
so tiny in Kim Dokja's hands. As though if Kim Dokja so much as put the slightest pressure, he
would be crushed completely.
"Yoo Joonghyuk, I'll listen," Kim Dokja said, his hands cradling his face now. Yoo Joonghyuk
sank into the touch. "I'll listen to you. I won't say anything."
"Kim Dokja," Yoo Joonghyuk felt as though every cell in his body shook with the effort it took to
simply utter that name.
"Dokja," he croaked out.
"What is it? I'm listening, tell me," Kim Dokja was saying and Yoo Joonghyuk heard him loud and
clear. He just couldn't bring himself to speak. "Joonghyuk-ah, I can be of help."
Kim Dokja's thumb was brushing the soft skin under his eye, his other hand pushing the hair out of
his face. His hands were so warm at the moment.
"Dokja—I—"
"It'll all be fine, Joonghyuk-ah," Kim Dokja said. Though he sounded reassuring, Yoo Joonghyuk
could hear the shake in his voice. Yoo Joonghyuk's behaviour alarmed Kim Dokja.
"Dokja, please," Yoo Joonghyuk gasped into his mouth. "Please. . .I—I just—Dokja, do you
understand?"
"I get it, Yoo Joonghuk," Kim Dokja told him. "Don't worry. You should have more confidence in
yourself. You are such a wonderful brother to Mia. And you were learning, you were young too. It
takes time to learn things like these."
Yoo Joonghyuk's hands that had found themselves on Kim Dokja's hands as he touched his face,
slid down limply and fell to his wrists.
Kim Dokja would never understand, Yoo Joonghyuk realised. Kim Dokja might be able to do
anything, might be able to vanish Yoo Joonghyuk's worries with just smiles, might be able to create
miracles, but he would never understand just what Yoo Joonghyuk was feeling.
"Joonghyuk-ah, it's really not that difficult," Kim Dokja was saying, kissing his forehead. The
place where his lips had touched burned painfully.
"To be honest, I'm not all that confident either," Kim Dokja told him. "I just think about what I
would have liked to hear as a kid, what I would have felt like a kid. And—And, Joonghyuk-ah,
you're a quick learner. You'll figure it out. You're doing so wonderfully, Joonghyuk-ah. You don't
need me, you can do it all by yourself."
". . .really?" Yoo Joonghyuk whispered.
"Really," Kim Dokja nodded. "Trust me."
Yoo Joonghyuk didn't want to trust Kim Dokja this time. He didn't want to believe that he didn't
need Kim Dokja because he knew that he would not be fine without him. He would not survive
without Kim Dokja, Kim Dokja was essential for him to live.
Chapter End Notes
*McDonald's theme*
Bada ba ba baa I'm lovin' it~
Chapter 9
Yoo Joonghyuk woke up when it was still dark outside to Kim Dokja trying to leave.
"Stay," he struggled to say, trying to blink the sleep away from his eyes.
"Can't," Kim Dokja said sliding off the bed. He looked around for a few seconds before finding his
shirt and slipping it on. "I didn't finish cleaning the kitchen yesterday. I don't want to imagine
what'll happen if we start getting cockroaches here."
"And I have to clean up the place, we didn't pick up any of the wrappers and streamers yesterday
night."
"Do it later," Yoo Joonghyuk said, attempting to sit up. He gave up halfway and sank back into the
mattress.
"No can do, Joonghyuk-ah. You can sleep for a bit longer," he heard the soothing voice belonging
to the man he loved say. "I'll wake you up. You have class today, remember? And we have to drop
Mia as well."
"Gifts are mine and burdens are ours, hyung?" Yoo Joonghyuk mumbled, rolling over on his side
to look better at Kim Dokja who was hopping into his pants.
"What are you saying?" Kim Dokja said, confused.
"Fucking bastard."
Kim Dokja looked at him, surprised. "Okay," he said, offended. "That was uncalled for. What did I
even do?"
"You're a stupid bastard," Yoo Joonghyuk told him. "And I'm going to beat the shit out of you."
"Are you sleep-talking, Joonghyuk-ah?" Kim Dokja said, now laughing a little and if Yoo
Joonghyuk wasn't feeling so lethargic, he would have grabbed Kim Dokja by the collar and
threatened him in the least.
"Rest, Yoo Joonghyuk. I'll wake you up when it's time."
Yoo Joonghyuk couldn't sleep properly after that. He kept drifting in and out of dreamland and
when he was finally shaken awake by Kim Dokja at half past five in the morning, he was not
pleased.
Yoo Joonghyuk only reluctantly heaved himself to his feet and trudged out of the room. He had
been so out of it that Kim Dokja had to remind him to at least put on some clothes before marching
out.
By the time he stood under the shower, cold water beating down his anguishes, Yoo Joonghyuk
had already sighed loudly six times.
Whoever said that saying had been right; don't make promises when happy, don't say things when
angry, don't make decisions when sad.
He had been in a miserable mood last night. He was sulking, Yoo Joonghyuk knew that and he
would admit it. He felt he deserved to sulk a bit.
He had been kicked into the friend zone by the man he was irrevocably in love with, then
proceeded to sleep with said man, hoping that he could somehow get the feelings fucked out of
him, but clearly, that didn't work. Of course, it wouldn't work. Why would it?
Every harsh grip against his flesh was rewarded with the softest of kisses and Yoo Joonghyuk only
fell deeper.
He had to mentally prepare himself before he faced Kim Dokja again, fully in his right mind.
He found Kim Dokja in the kitchen, leaning against the counter and drinking a glass of water. He
had already finished cleaning up the house as he had promised.
They looked at each other for a few seconds, before Yoo Joonghyuk turned away and busied
himself with taking the ingredients for that day's breakfast and lunch from the refrigerator.
"Joonghyuk-ah," Kim Dokja said making Yoo Joonghyuk inhale sharply. "Are you feeling
alright?"
Yoo Joonghyuk gave a little nod, but for some reason, this seemed to make Kim Dokja more
worried.
As he cooked the food, Yoo Joonghyuk could feel Kim Dokja's anxious gaze flit to him every now
and then. Kim Dokja said he would wake Mia up and asked Yoo Joonghyuk to rest instead. Kim
Dokja didn't let him iron Mia's uniform as he usually did and took up that responsibility himself.
"Why's Oppa sad?" Yoo Joonghyuk heard Mia ask Kim Dokja in the living room at seven thirty in
the morning. Yoo Joonghyuk flinched slightly. So he had been that obvious.
Kim Dokja who was tying Mia's hair into one long ponytail on the back of her head with a pretty
ribbon said, "He's not sad, he's tired. Your Oppa had so much fun yesterday and he stayed up all
night talking about it. So he's a little sleepy."
"Oppa, you should sleep on time," Mia called loudly, berating Yoo Joonghyuk for his poor life
choices.
Technically, it was true that he did not get a goodnight's sleep. But neither had Kim Dokja. . .Of
course, he seemed fine. He was not the one suffering heartbreak.
No, it was fine, Yoo Joonghyuk told himself.
It was fine. It would be fine. At least now he knew where he stood. Now he knew what Kim Dokja
thought about their relationship, so he had some clue where to start from.
This would work out just fine.
Kim Dokja told Mia that Yoo Joonghyuk had an important morning class to go to and so he would
be the one to drop Mia at school today. Mia didn't have a problem with that, but she did wish her
brother the best of luck for his 'important class'.
With the house empty, Yoo Joonghyuk sank into the nearest chair in the kitchen and let out an
exhausted groan. He put his head on the table and closed his eyes.
When he opened his eyes it was Kim Dokja looking at him with worry.
"Are you sure you're fine?" he asked when Yoo Joonghyuk sat up. He'd fallen asleep on the table.
Yoo Joonghyuk buried his face in his hands with a soft groan. "Just sleepy," he muttered in an
attempt to get Kim Dokja to stop worrying. He had a horrible headache which just wouldn't go.
"Did you eat yet?" Kim Dokja asked, Yoo Jonghyuk shook his head and lowered his hands. Kim
Dokja got to work immediately, ladling out a portion of the food Yoo Joonghyuk had made and left
on the stove into plates.
"You have a headache, don't you?" Kim Dokja said, moving to place the dishes on the table in front
of Yoo Joonghyuk. He held out a pair of steel chopsticks for Yoo Joonghyuk to take. "Eat and you
can take a painkiller."
Kim Dokja stayed watching as Yoo Joonghyuk slowly picked up his chopsticks. Only when he
made sure that Yoo Joonghyuk would be fine did he go over to pack up all the leftovers and do the
dishes.
"You—Here?" Yoo Joonghyuk managed to say groggily.
"No classes today, I'm free the whole day," Kim Dokja said, understanding him anyway. "I still
have work in the evening though, library."
Kim Dokja put the Tupperware containers in the refrigerator, closed the door and turned around to
look at him.
"I can pick up Mia after school today—"
"It's fine," Yoo Joonghyuk cut him off. Kim Dokja, in true Kim Dokja fashion, trekked on,
undeterred.
"I don't think you'll be penalised for missing one class. Stay at home today," he said.
"I'm fine."
Kim Dokja sighed and walked over to Yoo Joonghyuk. He placed his hands on Yoo Joonghyuk's
face and tilted it up to look at him.
"Joonghyuk-ah, listen to me," Kim Dokja said. "Finish eating, take a pill and go to bed. You didn't
get proper sleep last night."
"Is that my fault?" Yoo Joonghyuk glared up at Kim Dokja resolutely. The man didn't even blush
or seem embarrassed. Instead, he looked exasperated.
"That's not what I am talking about," Kim Dokja said, almost sternly. "You were tossing and
turning in your sleep. You don't usually do that."
Was he? Well, he wasn't going to get incredible sleep after what happened yesterday.
Kim Dokja pushed Yoo Joonghyuk's hair up and placed a hand on his forehead. "You don't seem to
have a fever," he muttered, his other hand on his own forehead to compare temperatures.
Kim Dokja dropped the hand from his head and brought it back to cup Yoo Joonghyuk's cheek.
Yoo Joonghyuk closed his eyes, thinking about just how unfair it was for Kim Dokja to be so
warm.
Kim Dokja's thumb ghosted over the sensitive skin under his eyes.
"Your eyes are a bit swollen," he observed.
"I'll kill you, Kim Dokja," Yoo Joonghyuk snarled. As if this man wasn't the one who made him
cry last night. Honestly, Yoo Joonghyuk wouldn't complain. It was a win-win situation really. He
even got to cry his feelings out without giving anything away.
Yoo Joonghyuk's lip trembled when Kim Dokja pressed soft kisses over his eyelids, then on the top
of his head.
"Whatever is worrying you, you can always come to me," Kim Dokja told him. "You just have to
talk to me."
Says the one who refuses to talk about himself.
"I'm here for you, Joonghyuk-ah."
Fucking bastard.
He had to take a deep breath to calm himself down.
Kim Dokja let go of his face and Yoo Joonghyuk felt him walk away.
Where was he going now? Yoo Joonghyuk opened his eyes and turned to the entranceway into the
kitchen, waiting for Kim Dokja to appear again. Luckily, he was back soon, with a white box in his
hand. When he reached closer, Yoo Joonghyuk saw that it was a first-aid kit.
Kim Dokja dragged a chair and sat down next to him, propping the kit onto the table. Yoo
Joonghyuk stared at the white for a long time. Did they own a first-aid kit in the house?
Every time someone got hurt, be it Kim Dokja's paper cut, Yoo Joonghyuk accidentally straining
his muscles after sitting in an awkward position for a long stream or Mia scraping her knees, Kim
Dokja was always the one with the supplies.
Yoo Joonghyuk made a mental note to get a first-aid box for the house.
"Take your shirt off," Yoo Joonghyuk said, having remembered something.
"Weren't you sleepy just a few minutes ago?" Kim Dokja joked and Yoo Joonghyuk glared at him.
Kim Dokja smiled back at him.
"Take it off or I'll stab you," Yoo Joonghyuk grabbed his chopsticks, lifting them threateningly.
"Alright, alright," Kim Dokja laughed, raising his hands in surrender. He pulled his shirt over his
head and draped it around his tattooed forearm.
"Turn around," Yoo Joonghyuk demanded and he saw Kim Dokja's expression fall for a
millisecond. He'd caught on to what Yoo Joonghyuk was on about.
"Joonghyuk-ah, I'm fine," Kim Dokja said moving to put his shirt back on. Yoo Joonghyuk had to
grab it and chuck it onto the floor.
"Turn around," he growled and grudgingly, Kim Dokja shuffled around in his chair.
Yoo Joonghyuk felt his stomach sink when he saw the red gashes his nails had made streaking
down Kim Dokja's back, ruining the beautiful artwork. Teeth indents blemished the smooth,
porcelain skin of his shoulders and neck. Yoo Joonghyuk did often leave lovebites on Kim Dokja's
neck and chest, but they had never been this horrid shade of purple.
It must have hurt.
It felt like he had defiled something holy.
"Yoo Joonghyuk," Kim Dokja's firm voice said, still turned around. "You didn't hurt me. Stop
making that expression."
"You can't even see me," Yoo Joonghyuk said. What kind of expression was he making?
"I don't need to," Kim Dokja said confidently. "I know."
Of course, he did. Kim Dokja always knew.
But he just didn't understand, did he?
He didn't mind leaving marks on Kim Dokja's body especially while they were making love, he
even thought that Kim Dokja's pale skin made the perfect canvas.
It's just that whatever he had done yesterday felt sinful. He had taken out all of his frustrations of
not being able to get what he wanted on Kim Dokja who was innocent. Yoo Joonghyuk
remembered all of last night, he remembered exactly what he felt and what he had been thinking.
He was pretty sure he was somewhat touched in the head for having felt glad that he could at least
hurt Kim Dokja physically like this, just like he had hurt him.
Kim Dokja had given a sigh and turned around to face Yoo Joonghyuk with a patronizing look on
his face.
"See?" he said. He grabbed Yoo Joonghyuk's face and left a chaste kiss on his lips.
"Seriously, Joonghyuk-ah, I'm fine. Don't worry about useless things," he said, pressing his
forehead against Yoo Joonghyuk's. He closed his eyes again, not wanting to see Kim Dokja's eyes
at the moment. He could feel Kim Dokja shuffling around, probably picking up his shirt and
putting it on.
When he managed to open his eyes, he was proved right. Kim Dokja had put his shirt back on and
snapped the first-aid box open. Then he grabbed Yoo Joonghyuk's left hand.
Only when Kim Dokja started rubbing ointment onto the tips of his fingers did Yoo Joonghyuk
realise that he had managed to burn himself. When? Yoo Joonghyuk didn't notice that he'd hurt
himself.
He was so out of it this morning, no wonder Kim Dokja asked him to just stay at home.
Yoo Joonghyuk decided to think about something else and looked into the open box. It held way
too many items, more than a usual first-aid box would have.
"What's this for?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked, picking up a bottle of pills.

"My insomnia," Kim Dokja responded, glancing at the bottle for a second before going back to
treating Yoo Joonghyuk's hand.
Yoo Joonghyuk frowned and put it back, before picking up a similar bottle, attempting to read the
name stamped across the plastic. He didn't know Kim Dokja suffered from insomnia.
"This one?"
"...Migraines," Kim Dokja said after taking a look.
"You have migraines?" Yoo Joonghyuk said, looking up sharply.
"It's not that severe," Kim Dokja said dismissively.
"You have pills for it," Yoo Joonghyuk snapped. The audacity he had to tell him it 'wasn't severe'
when he literally had prescribed medication for it.
"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked. "And don't you dare say it wasn't important or you forgot to
mention it somehow," Yoo Joonghyuk threatened.
Kim Dokja closed his mouth, then opened it again, "But I really did forget to mention it," he
sighed. "It just didn't come up in a conversation."
"We've known each other for almost two years and it didn't come up in a conversation is your
excuse?"
"Hey, it's not that bad, really," Kim Dokja said defensively. "I don't need it all the time. Only when
it gets really bad. . . I haven't had to take any in a while now."
Yoo Joonghyuk narrowed his eyes. "You aren't lying, are you?"
"I'm being serious, you bastard. Why would I lie about something like this?" Kim Dokja huffed,
having finished applying the ointment and closing the tube, before lightly throwing it back into the
open box.
"I used to need it often before, but it's better now. It's been better for almost a year now, actually."
Kim Dokja didn't look like he was lying, and Yoo Joonghyuk wasn't certain that he could trust his
judgement entirely.
"Tell me next time," he said instead and Kim Dokja smiled widely. It should have been reassuring,
but for some reason, it seemed slightly ominous.
Kim Dokja took the plastic bottle from Yoo Joonghyuk's hand and put it back where it belonged
before closing the box shut and fastening the lock on it.
Kim Dokja made to get up, but Yoo Joonghyuk grabbed him before he could.
He took a deep breath and arranged his thoughts.
It was fine. This would be fine. He just had to proceed from here.
Wooing Kim Dokja, how hard could it be? He wasn't called the Conquering King for nothing.
Abandoning his half-done breakfast, Yoo Joonghyuk pushed his chair back and pulled Kim Dokja
down onto his lap. Kim Dokja settled in without resisting. His hand came to card through his hair
and Yoo Joonghyuk had to remind himself that he had a goal.
"Kim Dokja," he called and Kim Dokja hummed to show that he was listening.
"Look at me."
Kim Dokja pulled away an inch and looked down at Yoo Joonghyuk as asked.
"Kim Dokja," Yoo Joonghyuk said, wondering how the fuck Kim Dokja usually did this. How did
that man go around saying things like this without getting flustered in the slightest? Yoo
Joonghyuk could feel his face burning and his throat closing up as he spoke.
"Yeah, what's it?" Kim Dokja said and there was the slightest hint of amusement in his face,
wondering what could have left Yoo Joonghyuk struggling to find the words.
They were so close, didn't he feel just how fast Yoo Joonghyuk's heart was beating?
"Dokja," Yoo Joonghyuk managed to get out, looking straight into Kim Dokja's eyes. Kim Dokja
had the clearest eyes he had ever seen, even in the deep brown darkness, they seemed to shine like
stars of the galaxy.
"Dokja-yah," he croaked out, attempting to imitate the way Kim Dokja usually said things. "I'd do
anything for you."
Kim Dokja froze.
The faint smile he had on his face vanished in an instant.
Yoo Joonghyuk counted seven seconds before Kim Dokja let out the breath he was holding and
looked away from Yoo Joonghyuk, saying, "You don't have to do anything."
"I want to," Yoo Joonghyuk had the answer ready. He moved his hand and turned Kim Dokja's
face so that he had no choice but to look at him.
"But you don't have to, Yoo Joonghyuk," Kim Dokja said and Yoo Joonghyuk thought he heard
Kim Dokja's voice tremble.
"Kim Dokja," Yoo Joonghyuk said firmly. "But I would."
Kim Dokja's eyes shook and they glazed over for a second, before the man moved out of Yoo
Joonghyuk's grasp. Kim Dokja swept the first-aid kit off the table and walked away.
"You don't have to do anything for me, Joonghyuk-ah," Kim Dokja was saying as he left the room.
"Don't bother yourself worrying about useless things, okay?"
Yoo Joonghyuk had never seen Kim Dokja leave faster. Kim Dokja was running away.
Yoo Joonghyuk let out a heavy sigh once he heard the door to Kim Dokja's room close.
It's fine, he told himself. He'd move from here. One step at a time.
Kim Dokja didn't show himself until it was time to leave for work. He left without saying anything
but a quick goodbye. Yoo Joonghyuk let him. Maybe he needed some time to process the whole
thing too.
Kim Dokja seemed to think that they were just friends with benefits. Yoo Joonghyuk's heartfelt
words probably shocked him.
When Kim Dokja finally returned a lot later than he was usually home, making both Mia and Yoo
Joonghyuk mad at him, he chuckled and said that he had to go to get them a few things.
He got Mia a cake from his fancy workplace as an apology, and Yoo Joonghyuk got the
ingredients he had been wanting to buy. Kim Dokja also got a power drill and some nails, to fix up
the framed photograph he said.
Yoo Joonghyuk grudgingly forgave him.
"You could have told me," Yoo Joonghyuk grumbled throughout dinner. "One text would have
taken less than five seconds."
"I didn't think it would matter, Joonghyuk-ah," Kim Dokja said with an apologetic smile. Yoo
Joonghyuk didn't think he was being sincere. "I'm sorry."
Mia refused to go to sleep because she wanted to see her Oppas put up the big picture finally up on
the wall. It had been sitting on the coffee table and everyone had to be very careful around it until it
went up.
Yoo Joonghyuk thought it was ridiculous to do anything this late in the evening, it would disturb
others. Kim Dokja told him it was fine, and since all of them would be busy the next day, it was
better to get it done with soon.
So they sat around on the floor, Kim Dokja's phone held out, watching how-to videos of people
drilling holes in wood and wall.
"Why is he talking so much?" Mia lamented, frowning at the man in the video, chattering away
about some nonsense. "Oppa doesn't talk much in his videos."
Kim Dokja chuckled lightly and ruffled her hair. "We need to listen though. I've never done this
before...Have you, Joonghyuk-ah?"
Mia turned to her brother. Yoo Joonghyuk shook his head, and said, "No."
Kim Dokja watched at least ten more videos, the videos now in English and other foreign
languages, skipping through most of them and just watching the important bits. Yoo Mia was
sitting in her brother's lap, her eyes starting to droop, fighting to stay awake.
"Dokja oppa, how much longer?" Mia said when she yawned and her brother asked her to go to bed
now.
"Let's get to it then," Kim Dokja said, shutting his phone off and getting to his feet. The siblings
followed.
"How hard could it be?" Kim Dokja said with a wonky grin and Yoo Joonghyuk felt it was going
to be very hard.
They didn't get to the actual part of drilling a hole until ten o'clock, because Kim Dokja decided to
entertain Mia with the power drill. Yoo Joonghyuk had no idea why Mia seemed to like the power
drill more than her dolls. Perhaps it was the novelty of a thing looking like the water guns she'd
seen, but with a thin stick that spun around at high speed, creating a loud buzzing noise.
When Yoo Joonghyuk finally snapped and scolded the two of them for making so much fuss in the
middle of the night and get to work, they finally got to taking the measurements.
Mia wanted the picture on the wall in the living room, a spot where she could see it from the
kitchen across.
Yoo Joonghyuk had to hold the frame up as Kim Dokja, standing on a stool marked the spots on
the wall with a pencil.
"Mia-yah, draw around that corner," Kim Dokja said, and Mia, standing up on a chair of her own,
dutifully traced the bottom right-hand corner of the frame with her pencil.
"Darker," Kim Dokja said and Mia pressed the pencil to the wall harder.
"Now the other side," Kim Dokja said and Mia sat down on the chair, slid off it and dragged it
around Yoo Joonghyuk, finally placing it on the other side and climbing up.
Yoo Joonghyuk hoped no one would complain about them making so much noise and disturbing
everyone's sleep. Kim Dokja kept saying it was fine, but Kim Dokja could be an idiot sometimes.
"Your oppa is so strong, no?" Kim Dokja said when they were finally done with marking around
the place, just because he wanted to make sure that the frame would be completely straight.
Yoo Joonghyuk was still holding up the frame when Mia and Dokja stepped back, all the way to
the kitchen to check if it was indeed straight.
"Yep, yep," Mia chirped. "Oppa is the strongest."
Kim Dokja held his hands out, making the photo frame sign with his hands, and closing one eye.
Mia imitated him, trying to close one eye, but failing and ending up squinting instead.
Yoo Joonghyuk turned back to the frame he was holding up, smiling a little. Whatever. As long as
they were happy, nothing mattered.
At long last, they got to the drilling bit. Yoo Joonghyuk somehow found the drill in his hands. He
panicked, he hadn't paid as much attention to the videos as Kim Dokja had done. He was under the
impression that Kim Dokja would be the one doing this.
"We should call a professional," Yoo Joonghyuk said and by the smirk on Kim Dokja's face, he
had caught Yoo Joonghyuk red-handed.
"I'll tell you what to do," Kim Dokja reassured him. "Just follow my instructions and it'll be fine."
Okay, that he can do.
Drilling was actually easier than Yoo Joonghyuk had expected it to be. Just a few holes in the
cement, he started at the point where Kim Dokja asked him to, stopped when he said stop and that
was it.
After that, Yoo Joonghyuk was tasked with holding up the frame again, while Kim Dokja put in
the nails. Mia tried to help, and Kim Dokja praised her so much for just holding a corner of the
frame that it left her spirits soaring through the roof. By the end of it, Mia was under the
impression that she had done it all.
Once they were done, Kim Dokja forced them to stand in front of the frame so that he could take a
picture to commemorate the event.
"What about you?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked when Kim Dokja switched on all the lights for better
lighting.
"Who'll take the pic then?" Kim Dokja said holding up the phone.
"Turn the camera around," Yoo Joonghyuk deadpanned, picking up Mia. Mia clung to him
immediately.
"We're both terrible at taking selcas and you know it," Kim Dokja said and Yoo Joonghyuk had to
admit he had a point. Neither of them knew how to take selfies properly.
"Bright smiles, you two," Kim Dokja said holding his phone up.
Mia smiled widely, even forcing her brother to hold up a V with his fingers like her, and a picture
was taken of them standing beside the frame they had managed to put up, all tired and exhausted
late in the evening, clutter and evidence of their efforts around their feet.
A smile came to Yoo Joonghyuk easily as he watched Kim Dokja grinning behind his phone.
There was no flash, no shutter sound from Kim Dokja's phone. It was just one picture, which Kim
Dokja sent to Yoo Joonghyuk immediately and Yoo Joonghyuk saved it as his home screen
wallpaper just as quickly. He would transfer the picture to his computer as well and change the
desktop wallpaper as well.
Mia threw a tantrum, saying she wanted to stay up. Yoo Joonghyuk thwarted that idea immediately
and since he was already holding her, he took her to her room easily. Mia tried wiggling out of his
grasp but failed.
"Dokja oppa!" she cried. "Tell oppa no?"
"You have school tomorrow," Yoo Joonghyuk told her as Kim Dokja chuckled lightly in the
background. "It's late."
"I don't want to go to school," Mia wailed.
She must have been tired because she fell asleep within minutes of her head hitting the pillow and
Yoo Joonghyuk went to assist Kim Dokja with the cleaning.
The tools were put away when he entered the living room and Kim Dokja was holding a broom,
sweeping in the crumbled remains of their wall from the floor.
"If Gong Pildu breaks in and demands money, I'll punch you," Yoo Joonghyuk said, taking the
feather duster from the chair it was sitting on. He never knew why they made these things in such
vibrant colours.
"It's our house, he can't do anything," Kim Dokja assured him as Yoo Joonghyuk wiped down the
walls for any remaining dust and Kim Dokja swept that away into the dustpan as well.
The trash was taken out, the stool and chairs were put back in their original spots, and the drill
found a place in the storage cupboard and they were done within minutes of comfortable silence.
"When do you plan on enlisting?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked out of the blue.
Kim Dokja looked up. "Maybe after you return," he shrugged. Yoo Joonghyuk nodded. They
couldn't go together, after all, someone had to look after Mia.
"I'll miss Mia's graduation to primary school," he muttered under his breath. Kim Dokja hugged
him like he always did when Yoo Joonghyuk was bothered by something.
"Well, I suppose you could stay for that," Kim Dokja said, patting his head when Yoo Joonghyuk
brought his arms around the smaller man and buried his face in the crook of his neck.
"Take more pics and send them to me," Yoo Joonghyuk breathed onto Kim Dokja's skin.
"Okay," Kim Dokja said without hesitation.
"You take good pictures," Yoo Joonghyuk admitted.
"I'll email Mia's photos to you then," Kim Dokja said and Yoo Joonghyuk could hear the smile in
his voice. "Then you can brag about it to your military friends."
Yoo Joonghyuk was going to do nothing of that sort. He didn't have any friends. . .Kim Dokja used
to be a friend, but not anymore. Kim Dokja didn't seem to know that though.
Yoo Joonghyuk pulled away and took Kim Dokja's lips between his. Was anyone supposed to taste
so sweet? Kim Dokja tasted faintly of peppermint.
Kim Dokja liked to brush his teeth after meals, Yoo Joonghyuk added to his list.
"Mia will be fine, Joonghyuk-ah," Kim Dokja said when they broke the kiss. "Really, try to worry
less, yeah? I'm doing this because I want to. You don't have to do anything for me because of that."
Yoo Joonghyuk needed a few seconds to understand what Kim Dokja was trying to say. Then it
came to him and his mood soured.
Kim Dokja thought that what he had said earlier that day was because he was trying to thank him
for helping him out with Mia.
"If I'm thankful for something I'll say thank you," Yoo Joonghyuk said sharply. "I meant what I
said."
Kim Dokja chuckled. "You've got this tsundere emo thing going on though."
Yoo Joonghyuk kissed him harder. Dumb bastard.
Kim Dokja was a dense idiot, Yoo Joonghyuk concluded.
He took Kim Dokja out on dates, and the man seemed to think they were all outings with Mia. Of
course, it made sense why he would think that though. They were all busy on weekdays and on
weekends they couldn't just leave Mia alone. The second Yoo Joonghyuk mentioned a nice place
he had found on the internet, Kim Dokja would bring up Mia.
Yoo Joonghyuk couldn't get mad about it though. He didn't think he would ever find another
person who would be so willing and happy to accommodate him and his sister, that too as first
thought. To Kim Dokja, Mia wasn't something that came as an afterthought and Yoo Joonghyuk
didn't know how the hell he'd gotten so lucky to have met someone like Kim Dokja.
However, it was annoying when they went out together. In his eyes, they were like a married
couple taking their kid out. Others didn't see it like that though.
Yoo Joonghyuk found he could now sympathise with the foreign jokes about people calling
women in a romantic relationship 'girl pals' and the jokes about how history called queer couples
'bestest friends'.
Whenever they went grocery shopping together with Mia, the people they happened to know
simply because they ran into each other often would coo at how cute Mia was and how Joonghyuk
was a good brother and Dokja was a good friend for helping out.
Please! They were practically family at this point. Did no one see just how smitten Yoo Joonghyuk
was with this god-like being that had blessed his life? Did people not see just how brilliant Kim
Dokja was?
. . .Suppose it was good that they didn't notice it or they'd probably try to have Kim Dokja for
themselves and Yoo Joonghyuk's life was busy enough as it is to fight losers for Kim Dokja's
hand.
Kim Dokja could be more infuriating than strangers sometimes.
During the rare moments that they ran into each other on campus and had enough time to spend
with each other, if they ran into Kim Dokja's few acquaintances slash classmates, or Yoo
Joonghyuk's fans, Kim Dokja would say that they were either 'roommates' or 'friends'. He even
called him "Joonghyuk-ssi" in public.
When he found out in one such confrontation that Kim Dokja had been on a group blind date some
time back, Yoo Joonghyuk felt his patience crack.
"Blind date?" he demanded.
"Yeah," Kim Dokja said casually. "My friend forced me to go. It was fun, got to meet new people."
Two things! Kim Dokja had friends? He never mentioned anything of that sort to Yoo Joonghyuk.
Yoo Joonghyuk was under the impression that Kim Dokja was just as much of a loner as him. And
two, Kim Dokja did not like meeting new people. He always found social interactions draining and
had a fake smile on his face, Yoo Joonghyuk knew that. But he had fun during this blind date
thing?
"So you have someone now?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked.
"No," Kim Dokja shook his head. "They were nice, but didn't really feel like I'd enjoy being in a
romantic relationship with them."
Yoo Joonghyuk's heart calmed a bit. He still had a chance then.
"Do you plan to date anyone?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked.
"Not really," Kim Dokja revealed. "I never thought I'd do well with romance."
What the fuck was this guy saying? Kim Dokja could get anyone he wants easily with that pretty
face of his and his charming personality, the second he smiled and opened his mouth it was game
over for the person on the other side. Yoo Joonghyuk knew this from experience.
Great. Another thing to plague his mind with.
Is that really what Kim Dokja thought? Did Kim Dokja even see things they did as romantic?
Getting answers out of that man was harder than prying two tiny Lego blocks stuck together by
super glue.
Chapter 10
Chapter Notes
I was in a good mood, so I decided to spread by joy by making you guys suffer. If you
like angst, enjoy!
Yoo Joonghyuk drafted a game plan, all the while feeling like things would have gone much easier
if Kim Dokja had helped him. That man was crazy good with strategies. It didn't mean that Yoo
Joonghyuk was bad at it.
And besides, it wasn't like he could let Kim Dokja in on Operation: Woo Kim Dokja, now could
he?
Operation: Woo Kim Dokja was not going as well as he would have liked it to.
After intense internet research that had left Yoo Joonghyuk concluding that all the people on the
internet claiming to be romance experts were just idiots who didn't know jackshit, Yoo Joonghyuk
compiled a list of things to test out first.
He had to find out Kim Dokja's love language first so that the man would at least start seeing the
things they did as romantic.
Acts of service went wrong. Yoo Joonghyuk tried cooking delicious food for Kim Dokja, but since
he had already been doing this for so long it had zero effect.
Quality time was a bust again. Technically, they had a wonderful time, spending time together, all
three of them, but the issue was Kim Dokja did not see this as romantic. Sure they slept together
very often, but again, in Kim Dokja's head, this was not an act of love.
Words of affirmation was a disaster better left untouched. Yoo Joonghyuk made an attempt, he
really did, but it was very awkward. It wasn't something he was used to and Kim Dokja simply
stared at him like he had sprouted three extra heads or ran away whenever he tried something like
that.
Physical touch was the next on the list.
Physical touch between them wasn't something uncommon. They had done everything under the
sun already, so Yoo Joonghyuk didn't have a lot of hope on that one. He was just testing things
anyway.
Kim Dokja was standing near the kitchen sink, his lips turned downwards, displeased as he stared
at the ruined plastic container in his hands, dripping wet with the water he had just shown it under.
"I know, I know," he grumbled when he felt Yoo Joonghyuk move closer. "It said it was
microwaveable...this is ridiculous. Now it's ruined."
Of course, it was ruined. When Yoo Joonghyuk wanted to reheat food, take leftover rice for
example, he would put them in the microwave for four minutes and it would come out nice and
hot.
Kim Dokja had tried the same thing, but he made a stupid mistake. He took just the little rice he
wanted and put it in the microwave for four minutes like Yoo Joonghyuk always did. The container
and the rice inside were just subjected to three minutes of unnecessary extra heat, no wonder it had
melted. The only reason it was not a disgusting glob now was because the container was originally
microwaveable.
Yoo Joonghyuk was reminded of just how much in love he was with this idiot man because he
found this endearing for some gosh darned reason.
"Kim Dokja," Yoo Joonghyuk said, moving to stand directly behind Kim Dokja.
"I know," Kim Dokja sighed. "I'm sorry. I'll get a new one tomorrow."
Yoo Joonghyuk couldn't have cared less about the container. Even if his mind hadn't been thinking
about his current test, he would have still found it just as adorable and even a little bit funny, the
way how Kim Dokja had returned to see his rice ruined and flailed around in disappointment.
Yoo Joonghyuk brought his hands around Kim Dokja's waist and held him close, expecting Kim
Dokja to lean into him as he always did.
When Kim Dokja jumped, and shoved Yoo Joonghyuk off him with such force that he almost got
knocked down to the floor, Yoo Joonghyuk gasped out loud.
"What the heck, dude?" Kim Dokja cried, stepping away from Yoo Joonghyuk who was stunned.
"Don't touch me like that, bro!"
What the fuck?
"Oppa, don't fight loudly," Yoo Mia said waspishly from the dining table she was sitting at,
working away with a frown at the book in front of her. "I'm doing my homework."
"Sorry, Mia-yah," Kim Dokja said, pretending not to notice Yoo Joonghyuk's glare asking for an
explanation. "Your oppa just scared me."
"Kim Dokja," Yoo Joonghyuk said, trying very, very hard to restrain his fury. "Room. Now."
"Don't beat each other up," Mia told them as Yoo Joonghyuk stomped out of the room, Kim Dokja
at his heels.
"What the fuck was that?" Yoo Joonghyuk hissed once he was inside the room and the door was
closed so that Mia wouldn't hear them fighting.
"That's what I have to ask you," Kim Dokja said, turning around only after he made sure he locked
the door. "What the fuck was that?"
"Bro?" Yoo Joonghyuk spat. "Bro?!"
"I panicked," Kim Dokja cried indignantly.
"Panicked?"
"Yeah, panicked. Obviously," Kim Dokja said as though this explained everything and Yoo
Joonghyuk was doing everything he could to stop himself from punching Kim Dokja in the gut.
"Seriously, what was that?" Kim Dokja said, reaching out to take Yoo Joonghyuk's hand in his. Oh,
so now it was suddenly okay to touch. "What do you even think you were doing?"
What did he think he was doing? Yoo Joonghyuk was really going to hit this bastard now. He
shoved Kim Dokja into the door behind him and crashed his lips on his mouth, kissing him hard.
It pissed Yoo Joonghyuk off so much when Kim Dokja kissed him back and even put his arms
around him.
Who was the one who had just yelled at him to not touch him like that?
"So now this is okay?" Yoo Joonghyuk snarled.
"Yeah," said Kim Dokja and Yoo Joonghyuk bit Kim Dokja's bottom lip instead of knocking him
out with a punch.
"What is it?"
"You told me not to touch you," Yoo Joonghyuk pushed Kim Dokja away from him, just to be
petty. He felt glad when he saw a shadow of hurt pass through Kim Dokja's face.
"Mia was right there," Kim Dokja said, a hint of annoyance in his voice now. "She could have
seen."
Yoo Joonghyuk forced himself to take a few steps away from Kim Dokja before he actually
strangled this bastard.
"I was hugging you," Yoo Joonghyuk heard his voice rise in volume. "It was a hug. We weren't
doing anything indecent."
"I know that. But Mia shouldn't know," Kim Dokja told him sternly like it was the most obvious
thing ever.
"You decide to be homophobic now?" Yoo Joonghyuk said incredulously, raising his eyebrows.
Kim Dokja hit him on the head for that.
"Are you stupid?" the shorter man snapped. "I'm worried about Mia."
"What about Mia now?" Yoo Joonghyuk rolled his eyes.
"People are curious, Joonghyuk-ah," Kim Dokja said after taking a deep breath, choosing his
words properly.
"Mia might not see anything wrong with this but it doesn't have to be the same for everyone. When
people make friends, especially kids, they tell each other things. And kindergarteners go home to
their parents and probably talk about what happened in school, their friends and all that."
"What are you trying to say?" Yoo Joonghyuk snapped, getting irritated. He got the gist of what
Kim Dokja was trying to say and it made him seethe.
"Mia was complaining just a few days back about how her friends were making fun of her not
having parents," Kim Dokja said tentatively. When Yoo Joonghyuk bristled anyway, he put a hand
on his shoulder and held him in place.
"I know," Kim Dokja said firmly. "I know. I feel the same. She might have acted annoyed and
tough, but she was sad. We both know it. We've both been in Mia's place too, and we both hate that
it's happened to her."
The look on Kim Dokja's face softened.
"Breathe, Joonghyuk-ah," he said, rubbing circles on Yoo Joonghyuk's back.
"Kids are like that sometimes, so unintentionally cruel," Kim Dokja pulled his head onto his
shoulder, his thin hand wrapping around Yoo Joonghyuk. "Parents are even worse, sometimes.
They think they are protecting their children. . .Mia is a smart child, she'll notice it quickly if we
make it too obvious."
Kim Dokja hesitated for a second, swallowed, then opened his mouth again, "It might be fine and
acceptable amongst people our age, but not everyone sees it that way, you know? I just don't want
Mia to get hurt by something like this."
Yoo Joonghyuk hated, absolutely despised just how right Kim Dokja was.
He didn't want Mia to get hurt either.
"Mia is a smart girl," Yoo Joonghyuk managed to say. "She'll not hate us for this."
"I know she won't," Kim Dokja told him.
"She won't mind," Yoo Joonghyuk thought he was being a bit too desperate now. He had just
realised something that seemed to tear at his chest.
"It's not about her minding anything, Yoo Joonghyuk," Kim Dokja said. "It might be fine. She
might understand it later on, but it won't do any good to be ostracised by everyone now as a child.
For whatever reason, for whatever stupid fucking reason. She will still be getting hurt, and neither
of us wants that to happen."
Yoo Joonghyuk wished the world to go to hell at the moment so he didn't have to feel this way.
Kim Dokja, he realised, never showed affection in public.
In the privacy of their house, when he was sure not a single person was watching them, he would
hold Yoo Joonghyuk back and indulge him. But in front of others, he would stand a considerable
distance away from Yoo Joonghyuk.
Even in front of Mia, he wouldn't so much as hug Yoo Joonghyuk. They used to snuggle up
together before, but Kim Dokja adamantly refused. Even if he joined them, Mia would be between
the two.
People thought they were friends because Kim Dokja behaved that way. He would always stand a
considerable distance away, and didn't do anything to show that they would be more than anything
friends.
Of course, that's because he didn't think they were more than friends. He didn't think Yoo
Joonghyuk was in love with him.
"But we. . .Kim Dokja, I—" Yoo Joonghyuk started but Kim Dokja spoke over him.
"It's fine, Yoo Joonghyuk. Besides," Kim Dokja said and Yoo Joonghyuk could feel that this would
be the final nail driven into his heart before he heard it.
"It's not like we are dating or anything, right?"

Right. Kim Dokja was right as always.
They weren't dating. It wasn't something official.
Yet, Yoo Joonghyuk thought determinedly as they left the room and went back to the kitchen. He
wasn't going to be discouraged, he wouldn't give up.
Yoo Joonghyuk was planning on making it soon though. He wanted to arrange a nice date for Kim
Dokja, not just going on outings with Mia, but something special, with just the two of them. And he
would ask Kim Dokja to be his boyfriend.
He would do that soon. Once his life got a little less busy and he managed to get Kim Dokja to look
at him differently.
"Did you make up?" Yoo Mia looked up from her homework when she saw them.
"Yeah," Kim Dokja said. "Your oppa was mad that I ruined his box. I didn't know he liked pink so
much."
"I like pink," Mia said dimly, stifling a yawn. She was getting sleepy after forcing herself to do her
homework like a good girl. "I want to sleep," she muttered, yawning again.
"Finish your homework," Yoo Joonghyuk told her.
"I don't want to read the story," Mia complained. "It's boring."
"It's good practice," Kim Dokja said, walking over to see what the story Mia was supposed to read
was. It was just a little paragraph about a boy going to play in the rain.
"It's boring," Mia insisted. "I hate homework."
Mia complained and grumbled all throughout her reading practice. She even snapped at Kim Dokja
who suggested that she read out loud to learn better.
"You learn better if you want to, Oppa, I don't," she said angrily, frowning a lot like how Yoo
Joonghyuk would have.
"Were you like this when you were at school too?" Kim Dokja asked, turning to face Yoo
Joonghyuk. "What were your grades like? Top scores always or class delinquent?"
"Don't go around saying nonsense, Dokja" Yoo Joonghyuk said with a sigh. For some reason, Kim
Dokja looked away from him.
Kim Dokja was home way less after that. His excuse was that he had a lot of projects and papers to
do since it was his final year, and then that he was busy at work. Yoo Joonghyuk thought he was
taking up more shifts for some reason because he only returned late at night.
"You don't have to wait up for me," Kim Dokja had said laughing.
The days on which Kim Dokja left without breakfast kept increasing and he told Yoo Joonghyuk to
not worry about that. "I've just got a lot to do. Can't stay," is what he said as he rushed out of the
house without so much as looking at Yoo Joonghyuk.
Something was wrong. Kim Dokja was rarely at home and even if he was, he would be shut in his
room. Yoo Joonghyuk had to put in a lot more effort to coax Kim Dokja to come to his room as
they used to do before. He didn't even join his streams anymore, forget commenting.
They were drifting apart. Yoo Joonghyuk didn't know what to do. He was used to people leaving,
he didn't know how to make someone stay.
Was it something he did? Did he say something? Did he take it too far? One too many threats?
Was he unreliable somehow? Did he become too burdensome? Too clingy? Too pathetic? What
was it? What mistake did he make?
Or was it that Kim Dokja found someone now? And he was just spending time with that person
now?
Yoo Joonghyuk held out for a long time. He held out until anxiety and desperation ate away at him
and his patience crumbled.
And that's what brought them to this situation.
Kim Dokja had a free schedule, Yoo Joonghyuk had one lecture in the afternoon and Mia was at
school. Kim Dokja was eating a late breakfast after Yoo Joonghyuk had forced him to eat.
"Did I do something?" Yoo Joonghyuk finally asked, leaning across the kitchen counter behind
Kim Dokja, crossing his arms and staring down at the man who was chewing on an eggroll.
"What are you talking about?" Kim Dokja said, paying more attention to his food.
"You're being weird," Yoo Joonghyuk said. "Mia is starting to worry. What are you doing?"
"What would I be doing?" Kim Dokja said waving it away as an unnecessary concern.
"I did something, didn't I?" Yoo Joonghyuk said. Kim Dokja didn't even turn in his direction.
"Did you find someone?" Yoo Joonghyuk couldn't shake the doubt away from his mind.
"What?"
"Lover," he said. "Girlfriend? Boyfriend? Is that what this is?"
"What? No!" Kim Dokja cried frantically, turning around to finally look at him. "What made you
think that?"
"What do think?" Yoo Joonghyuk snapped back. "You don't come home anymore."
"What? Where do you think I sleep then?" Kim Dokja laughed.
"It's not a laughing matter, you bastard," Yoo Joonghyuk said through gritted teeth. "If you're
cheating, just tell me instead of going around feeling guilty."
"I am not in a relationship," Kim Dokja said firmly, putting his chopsticks down. "I am literally
just busy."
"Busy running away from me?"

"I'm not running away!"
"Don't lie."
"I'm not lying," Kim Dokja protested, now getting to his feet.
"Joonghyuk-ah," Kim Dokja said, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I'm not lying. It's just been
busy, with everything. Everything's fine, trust me, okay?"
"No."
Yoo Joonghyuk's answer seemed to confuse Kim Dokja for some reason so he elaborated.
"I don't trust you, Kim Dokja."
Kim Dokja stared at him for a while, before he grinned, a fake grin Yoo Joonghyuk wanted to
punch off his face.
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry," Kim Dokja said with a little laugh, raising his hands in surrender. "But
everything's really fine. I mean, sure, everything's busy, but that's just it."
"Sit," Yoo Joonghyuk said. Kim Dokja raised his eyebrows.
"We need to talk," Yoo Joonghyuk said, taking a deep breath. "Sit down, Kim Dokja."
Kim Dokja's expression morphed into that of exasperation. Then he sighed, placed his hands on his
hips, shuffled his feet around, sighed again, threw his hands into the air and went to drag the chair
he had been sitting on.
He turned the chair around so that it was facing Yoo Joonghyuk. He sat down and leaned back as
though the situation didn't affect him at all.
"Alright," he said, crossing his feet. "What do you want to ask?"
Yoo Joonghyuk wanted to talk to Kim Dokja, and even though it was a hard decision for him to
make, he wanted to do it. He felt it was the only way he would get Kim Dokja to talk to him as
well. He had wanted to corner the slippery bastard, force him to tell him everything.
But now that he was sitting in front of him, looking up at him without a single shadow of worry in
his eyes, Yoo Joonghyuk felt like he was making a mistake.
"Did I do something?" he asked, his voice coming out much weaker than he had wanted it to.
"I already told you, no," Kim Dokja said. "Joonghyuk-ah, is the stress getting to you? Maybe take a
break again. It is your final year, your fans will understand."
"Don't change the subject."
"I'm not?" Kim Dokja said, giving him a confused smile. "What—"
"Kim Dokja, I'm warning you," Yoo Joonghyuk said through gritted teeth. "You—I want to talk
about us."
"Us? What about us?"
Kim Dokja's nonchalance was painful.

". . .What are we?" Yoo Joonghyuk felt like the breath he took in didn't reach his lungs.
"We—What?" Kim Dokja stumbled over his words, taken aback. "We're. . .Well, we are friends, of
course."
Yoo Joonghyuk's frown grew more pronounced. "Friends don't sleep with each other, Kim Dokja."
Kim Dokja didn't have a really clever answer to give him this time.
"You have to come clear, right now."
"Yoo Joonghyuk, I'm not following," Kim Dokja lied, the fucking bastard.
"Stop lying."
"I'm not—"
"Don't!" Yoo Joonghyuk yelled. "Lie to me. Do not look me in the eye and tell me you don't get it.
I'm trying. I'm trying here, don't you dare. . ."
Yoo Joonghyuk trailed away. 'Don't you dare' what? Don't dare try to escape again? Don't dare
make him beg? Just what did he want to say? Yoo Joonghyuk himself had no clue.
A few seconds of silence passed between them.
"You know, don't you?" Yoo Joonghyuk found it in himself to say.
Kim Dokja didn't say anything, but Yoo Joonghyuk knew he had heard the ache in his voice as
well. He knew that Kim Dokja knew just how betrayed he was feeling.
"You know how I feel about you," Yoo Joonghyuk felt like dying.
He saw how Kim Dokja's eyes had widened just a fraction, how his lips had twitched and the little
flinch he had given. And he realised, Kim Dokja was a cruel bastard.
"You've always known, haven't you?"
Kim Dokja who had always seemed like an indecipherable mystery was so easy to read at that
moment. Maybe it was because Yoo Joonghyuk was really looking at him now.
The clock on the kitchen wall ticked away as it had always done. It had never sounded so loud
before. Time was passing, it seemed to be saying. The silence was proof that Kim Dokja wasn't
saying anything.
Yoo Joonghyuk's eyes never left him.
He would wait for Kim Dokja to speak. He didn't think he could speak coherently about how he
was feeling after all.
Kim Dokja parted his pursed lips and exhaled. It was a soft sound, but with the silence, it seemed
incredibly loud.
Yoo Joonghyuk hated how he could bare his soul out and Kim Dokja wouldn't pay it any more
attention than a stray puddle of water on the floor.
"Yoo Joonghyuk," Kim Dokja said, and everything about the tone he used made Yoo Joonghyuk
furious.
Kim Dokja sounded a bit patronizing like he was talking to a kid.
"Joonghyuk-ah, relax and listen to me, okay?" he was saying. "I think you're mistaken somehow."
"I'm not!" Yoo Joonghyuk said, pushing himself off the kitchen counter and taking a step towards
Kim Dokja. He was going to haul the man up by his neck and demand an explanation if that's what
it took.
"Listen to me," Kim Dokja said. "I know it's hard. I know that it's tough, raising Mia by yourself
—"
"This is not about Mia!" Yoo Joonghyuk roared. "Stop bringing my sister into this—Mia is not an
excuse you can use. Stop bringing her up every time you want to escape!"
"I am not making excuses. I'm trying to explain things to you," Kim Dokja said patiently and Yoo
Joonghyuk felt something in him just snap.
Why was Kim Dokja so calm? Why didn't it matter to him like it mattered to Yoo Joonghyuk?
How could he just go around pretending all this time? How could he ask him what was wrong so
lovingly when he knew exactly what made Yoo Joonghyuk fall apart? How could he have just
watched him run around trying to win his affection? How could he have looked him in the eye and
uttered those hurtful words over and over again knowing just how it hurt him?
Did it not matter to him? Was it just another 'scam' of his? Did Yoo Joonghyuk mean nothing to
him?
"You could have just told me," Yoo Joonghyuk spoke over whatever nonsense Kim Dokja was
trying to say. "You could have told me and I wouldn't have—I would have. . .I would have tried to
stop."
"You better come clean about this," Yoo Joonghyuk could try as much as he wanted to sound
angry, but really, he was just begging. "I'm trying. I'm trying really hard. And you said you'd help. .
.So help me here, Kim Dokja."
Kim Dokja closed his eyes, his tongue coming out to lick his lips before he started speaking again.
"Yoo Joonghyuk, you're not listening to me."
"I'm listening! I'm always listening," Yoo Joonghyuk could hear his voice rising. He didn't want it
to. He wanted to keep his composure just like Kim Dokja. He wanted to speak calmly. He wished
he knew how to speak like Kim Dokja. He wished he knew how to use words the way Kim Dokja
did.
He wished he could hurt Kim Dokja just the way he had hurt him. Just to make him understand
how it felt.
Just to make him understand what Yoo Joonghyuk was feeling. At least once. At least so that he
would take pity on him and show him some mercy.
Why couldn't they be like normal people? Why couldn't they scream and yell at each other, five
feet apart? Yoo Joonghyuk wished they'd been fighting instead. He was just desperately pleading
and Kim Dokja probably thought it was ridiculous.
He hated how no matter how hard he tried, he could never win when it came to Kim Dokja. He
hated how the closer he tried to get, the farther Kim Dokja slipped away.
"Why don't you listen to me this once? I like you," Yoo Joonghyuk snapped. "Kim Dokja, I'm in
love with you."
"No, you're not."
If Kim Dokja had physically punched him, it would have hurt less.
"You don't know that,"
"You're just confusing things, Joonghyuk-ah," Kim Dokja said in the tone he used while explaining
things to Mia and Yoo Joonghyuk felt like crying.
Before he knew it, Kim Dokja's shirt was in his fist and Kim Dokja was yanked to his feet, their
noses almost touching. Yoo Joonghyuk could feel his hands trembling, he hoped Kim Dokja would
notice it too.
"Joonghyuk-ah, life's been stressful for you," Kim Dokja was saying. "I think you're mistaking
some stability in life for love."
"You don't know anything about me, Kim Dokja," Yoo Joonghyuk's grip tightened around the
fabric, closing a little bit on Kim Dokja's neck. "I'm in love with you. I have been in love with you
for so long. Even before Mia came into our lives. Do you understand?"
Kim Dokja smiled a very sorrowful smile.
"Yoo Joonghyuk, you—"
Yoo Joonghyuk didn't want to know. He didn't want to hear what rubbish Kim Dokja was going to
say next to try and convince him. Did he think that Yoo Joonghyuk didn't even know his own
feelings?
Yoo Joonghyuk kissed him in his hopelessness.
Whenever Yoo Joonghyuk got a bit too close, and told things he didn't want to listen to, Kim Dokja
would kiss him and distract him. He hoped he could do the same and shut him up before Kim
Dokja could say more hurtful things.
"Yoo Joonghyuk—" Kim Dokja started. Yoo Joonghyuk stuck his tongue in his mouth,
swallowing whatever Kim Dokja was trying to say.
"Joonghyuk-ah," Kim Dokja managed to pull away so Yoo Joonghyuk let go of his collar to use
both his hands and trap Kim Dokja against him. Yoo Joonghyuk could hear loud heartbeats. He
wasn't sure whose it was, it was probably his; he wished it was Kim Dokja's.
"Please," he whispered. "Dokja, please. . .I love you. It's fine if you don't feel the same, but please.
. ."
What use were pretences in front of a man who could read him so easily? If he felt like begging, he
should. At least his misery would shake Kim Dokja's composure. At least the shock would crack
his wall and Yoo Joonghyuk would be able to get in and show him just how he felt.
"You don't have to like me back," Yoo Joonghyuk said. "You don't have to do anything but stay.
Please, don't leave me."
He could feel Kim Dokja trembling against him.
"I'm fine with it. You just have to know that I love you," Yoo Joonghyuk deepened their kiss.
He was fine with it, Yoo Joonghyuk told himself.
He really was fine with giving Kim Dokja all the time he needed. He could make him fall in love
with him slowly.
He was fine with hiding themselves away if that's what Kim Dokja wanted.
They had responsibilities, and Yoo Joonghyuk understood that. He had a sister to take care of, and
he was technically a public figure. Scandals could ruin lives, he knew that. He would be fine with
it. He would be fine with just pretending they were friends.
He would be fine with anything as long as Kim Dokja loved him back, even just a little bit.
Kim Dokja managed to push him away and Yoo Joonghyuk stumbled a little.
"Yoo Joonghyuk, are you even hearing yourself?" Kim Dokja said, trying to catch his breath.
"I am," Yoo Joonghyuk said, for the first time, as calm as Kim Dokja had been. "Are you?"
Yoo Joonghyuk reached out to take Kim Dokja's hand in his, and to his despair, Kim Dokja pulled
it away before he could touch him.
"This is going nowhere," he said, moving his hands slightly behind his back. "We should. . .take a
break, think about things properly."
"Kim Dokja, I told you, I've thought about this. Properly," Yoo Joonghyuk insisted. "Why won't
you trust me on this?"
"This is not about trust," Kim Dokja was stepping away. "This. . .Joonghyuk, this is—It won't
work. Whatever you are saying, it won't work."
"You don't know that," Yoo Joonghyuk protested. "You've never tried!"
"You are making a mistake," Kim Dokja said.
How heartless could a person be? His eyes were looking at him with what Yoo Joonghyuk could
only describe as melancholy, but the words he said were knives that knew no mercy right to his
heart.
"Just tell me you don't feel the same," Yoo Joonghyuk pleaded. "I told you, it'll be fine. Just tell me
what you think of me and I'll tell you what I think of you and we can work it from there."
Yoo Joonghyuk's words kept catching in his throat. He was trying to speak like Kim Dokja; slowly,
clearly, explaining. Yoo Joonghyuk wasn't good with words, so he tried imitating the only person
he knew who was.
"Joonghyuk-ah, we just won't—We won't work," Kim Dokja said, running a hand through his hair
in frustration. He wasn't looking at Yoo Joonghyuk.
"You don't know th—"
"I know that!" Kim Dokja yelled. Yoo Joonghyuk had never heard Kim Dokja raise his voice like
that so he froze.
"I know that. You are the one who doesn't know," Kim Dokja said. "You don't understand."
They were fighting normally like how Yoo Joonghyuk had wished. He didn't like it anymore.
"Then explain, I'll listen," Yoo Joonghyuk choked out.
He wondered what kind of expression he was making for Kim Dokja to look so shattered.
"Talk to me, please," Yoo Joonghyuk was ready to get on his knees if that's what it took.
"It's just," Kim Dokja started and Yoo Joonghyuk's face lit up hopefully. Kim Dokja's lips trembled
and Yoo Joonghyuk thought he saw tears in his starry eyes. They were glittering more than usual.
"It's just wrong," Kim Dokja stated. Yoo Joonghyuk's face fell.
Ah, Kim Dokja was crying.
"Wh-what's that supposed to mean?" Yoo Joonghyuk stuttered. "What are you trying to say?!"
"It's wrong, that's it!" Kim Dokja yelled back. "It is just wrong."
"Is it because we're both men?"
A flash of what Yoo Joonghyuk thought looked like disgust flitted in Kim Dokja's eyes. Right, Kim
Dokja wasn't such a person. Yoo Joonghyuk had fucked up. He'd accused the man of infidelity a
few moments ago and now this.
"Sorry," he said quickly. "Kim Dokja, I didn't mean that."
"I know," Kim Dokja said. "And you should know that— that this is just wrong."
Kim Dokja opened his mouth and took a deep breath. "Yoo Joonghyuk, we should—should take
some time—We should stop here."
Kim Dokja was trying to leave.
No, he couldn't have that.
What could he do to make Kim Dokja stay? How could he make Kim Dokja stay? What could he
do to make Kim Dokja pity him and find it in his heart to at least try and understand him?
Crying came very easily to him, especially when he'd been feeling like doing so for so long.
"Kim Dokja, please. . .Don't leave."
Kim Dokja let out a kind of wrangled noise and almost jumped.
"Dokja-yah?"
Kim Dokja stood rooted to his spot. And when he turned his face away, refusing to look at Yoo
Joonghyuk, his heart felt like it was being ripped apart.
Yoo Joonghyuk felt his eyes burning and more hot tears running down his face.
"Kim Dokja? Look at me, hyung. Please!"

Why wasn't he looking at him? Yoo Joonghyuk was crying, so why wasn't Kim Dokja holding him
close to his chest like he always did? Why wasn't he wiping his tears away and kissing his eyes?
Where's the 'It'll be fine Joonghyuk-ah'? Why isn't he saying anything? Why won't he call him?
Why won't he do anything?
Yoo Joonghyuk wanted to run to Kim Dokja. They weren't standing all that far away. They were
still in the kitchen, not even the table was between them. But his legs just wouldn't move.
"Let's," Kim Dokja started slowly and Yoo Joonghyuk choked back the pleading words he was
going to repeat.
"We should. . ." Kim Dokja wiped his face, and straightened his back, but still didn't look Yoo
Joonghyuk in the face. "We should—Let's talk later."
"Later?" Yoo Joonghyuk gasped.
"Later," Kim Dokja nodded. He was looking in Yoo Joonghyuk's direction, but he wasn't looking
at Yoo Joonghyuk.
"Later when, hyung?"
"I don't know," Kim Dokja said. He was properly walking away now.
"Later when!?" Yoo Joonghyuk cried after him.
"I don't know!" Kim Dokja screamed back. "Just—Later."
And Kim Dokja left Yoo Joonghyuk standing there in the kitchen.
Yoo Joonghyuk gathered his wits about some twenty minutes later and with shaking feet sat down
on a chair and waited.
Later. . .Kim Dokja was just processing stuff. He was too, so they'd speak about this later.
Kim Dokja left the house a few hours later in the late afternoon. He didn't glance at the kitchen as
he walked by, nor did he pay attention to the scraping of the chair when Yoo Joonghyuk jumped to
his feet.
Kim Dokja was back sooner than Yoo Joonghyuk had expected and in his hurry to get out of his
chair and ask Kim Dokja if it was 'later' yet, he managed to stub his toe hard on the table.
"You're not coming inside?" Mia's voice said and Yoo Joonghyuk felt himself freeze.
"Ah, okay," Mia said. "Bye-bye, Oppa."
The door closed and Yoo Joonghyuk wished he would stop existing at this moment.
He had forgotten about Mia.
Just how much of a shitty brother was he? How could he have forgotten to pick up Mia? And Kim
Dokja had to go bring her back.
Mia almost screamed in shock when she saw her brother, standing in an awkward position in the
kitchen, tears spilling from his eyes. Mia had never seen her brother cry before, so she cried along
with him.
Yoo Joonghyuk heard her say something about Dokja Oppa telling her that her brother was sick.
"Don't be hurt, Oppa," she was crying. "Dokja Oppa said if you sleep your fever will go away. So,
don't cry Oppa."
How he managed it was beyond him, but Yoo Joonghyuk pulled himself together for Mia. He told
her that he was just hurt because he hurt his toe. And Mia scolded him for scaring her like that, he
accepted the berating wholeheartedly.
He cooked dinner for three as usual and if he ended up cutting his finger accidentally and burning
himself, he didn't pay it any mind.
He put Mia to bed at the usual time, and went to bed as he usually did. Sleep didn't visit him at all.
Yoo Joonghyuk didn't remember the last time he had cried. He supposed it was probably when he
was a child, and he didn't remember much from his childhood anyway.
He hadn't cried when he figured his parents had never wanted him. He didn't cry when he got hurt
all those times while training. He didn't cry when he got into a car accident and had to be rushed to
the hospital. He didn't cry when a baby was thrown at him to be taken care of. He didn't cry when
he found out he had been tricked into working for a shady company.
And after all that, here he was now.
Yoo Joonghyuk wept silently into his pillow hoping to undo the whole day.
He left the door to his room slightly ajar so that he could hear when Kim Dokja returned.
Kim Dokja didn't return that night.
Yoo Joonghyuk didn't see Kim Dokja for another day and on the second day, he found out that Kim
Dokja had moved out.
He didn't even know all that until Mia looked at him weirdly for asking where Kim Dokja was.
"Oppa left for military service though?" Mia had said. "Did you forget? Dokja Oppa said he told
you?.... Oppa, are you even sleeping properly?"
That was a lie. Kim Dokja couldn't have left. It was still their final year and Kim Dokja was a
scholarship student. He was probably still at university, just staying somewhere else.
Yoo Joonghyuk hadn't visited Kim Dokja's room arbitrarily before. He had stayed respectfully out,
getting in only when Kim Dokja invited him.
He tore through the house and slammed the door open. The room was empty as it was the first day
they had brought in the boxes with their belongings. Kim Dokja was never a person who had too
many belongings.
The closet was empty, the bedside chest of drawers was cleared out, nothing remained on the desk
in his room, and the bathroom was missing Kim Dokja's set of utilities. He had left everything else
there and taken only the necessities.
With trembling hands, Yoo Joonghyuk took his phone out of his pocket and called Kim Dokja.
Kim Dokja always had his phone on him, and if Yoo Joonghyuk kept trying, he was bound to pick
up at least once.
Yoo Joonghyuk desperately lost count of how many missed calls he had sent Kim Dokja. Their
chat page was just a long, long band of Yoo Joonghyuk's one-sided texts begging Kim Dokja to
answer him, begging for forgiveness, begging him to come back. Kim Dokja didn't even see the
messages.
Mia seemed to be missing Kim Dokja because she was sullen too.
"You'll leave too, no, Oppa?" she said one morning as Yoo Joonghyuk was dropping her at her
kindergarten.
Yoo Mia had been very silent for the past few days. She must have noticed her brother's distress
and was trying to be there for him, but there was only so much she could do. She couldn't bring
Dokja Oppa back, even if her brother missed him more than anyone.
"Dok—That other oppa told me about it," Mia had stopped mentioning Kim Dokja's name when
she saw the way Yoo Joonghyuk was reacting to it.
"Oppa said that you all boys have to fight for the country and so they have to go get special
training for two years," Mia said. "Oppa'll do well because Oppa is already so strong! I'm worried
about. . .the other oppa. He's not as strong as Oppa."
So Kim Dokja had gotten rid of the tough part for him already. Yoo Joonghyuk wouldn't have
known how to tell Mia about him having to go leave.
"I'll be staying with grandma, no?"
Kim Dokja had gotten that part down as well.
Bastard. That cruel, cruel bastard.
Yoo Joonghyuk roamed the campus, loitering around the Literature department, hoping to be able
to talk to Kim Dokja. If he couldn't reach him by phone, he'd drag him out in person.
When he didn't even so much as get a glimpse of Kim Dokja, he asked around and found out that
Kim Dokja had been attending all the lectures and that he had been seen hanging out with his
friend as usual.
Yoo Joonghyuk knew he should have left right then and there, instead he, like a fucking idiot, he
listened to Kim Dokja's classmates saying that he should be at the right-wing cafeteria now and
went there.
The Computer Science department and the Literature department were at two different ends of the
campus, so there was no way Yoo Joonghyuk would run into Kim Dokja by coincidence. Yoo
Joonghyuk had never even been to the right-wing cafeteria.
They were right though. Kim Dokja was right fucking there where they said he'd be.
Yoo Joonghyuk found the rat in minutes after trying his darndest for weeks.
He would recognise Kim Dokja anywhere, even if it was just his back that he could see clearly.
Kim Dokja was sitting beside a girl, and though his eyes were on the phone in his hand, he was
talking to her and Yoo Joonghyuk knew he was paying her his full attention.
Yoo Joonghyuk felt fury rise up in his heart, making his chest feel as though it was on fire. His
head felt clearer, though the ache that had remained from the day Kim Dokja had left was still
there.
So that was it. That really was it.
Kim Dokja had his phone, he was using it. He was just ignoring Yoo Joonghyuk. He was doing
just fine when Yoo Joonghyuk couldn't even eat properly, he hadn't had a good night's sleep in
days.
The dark-haired woman sitting beside Kim Dokja strung her hand around his neck and pulled him
down into her grasp and if he could, Yoo Joonghyuk could have just burst into tears right there.
He understood why characters in those movies would sink to the floor and sob when they saw their
lovers with someone else, and just how strong they would have to be to walk in the other direction.
Kim Dokja didn't try to pull away from the woman's touch. He even looked slightly exasperated, a
fond look in his eyes.
Yoo Joonghyuk turned around and walked away even though he wanted nothing more than to go
up to Kim Dokja, grab him by the neck and shake him for answers.
It was a wise decision, really. Because if Yoo Joonghyuk stood in front of Kim Dokja and he said
"Joonghyuk-ah", he would crumble to the floor and beg Kim Dokja to stay with him.
Yoo Joonghyuk didn't see Kim Dokja again after that. He never heard about that man, not even
Mia mentioned him anymore. Very rarely did she bring him up and even then she called him 'the
other oppa'.
The later never came and Kim Dokja never responded to any messages Yoo Joonghyuk sent, so he
simply stopped and that was it.
There hadn't been any goodbyes. No explanations, no closure, no nothing.
Yoo Joonghyuk got his degree, Mia was there to congratulate him. Even his master came out to the
city to wish him. It wasn't how he had imagined it would be like a few months back.
A few months back, in his mind, Kim Dokja would have been there with him, grinning widely at
the camera, a hand around his neck, Yoo Joonhgyuk's hand on his waist, both of them holding their
degrees, stepping together towards the next step in life.
It was the perfect clichéd movie-like ending.
But reality wasn't like a movie, now was it?
Chapter End Notes
I feel like I've overused a ton of words, but who cares. Could have been more angsty,
but oh well.
I started writing and suddenly I saw a Yandere YJH forming and I was like what? That
was not in my plan, so I made him cry.
I can't wait to write KDJ's POV. If it crushes everyone, then it'll be a job well done.
Chapter 11
Chapter Notes
Double update besties

Wanna check if you missed the previous one. Just a signpost.
On to reading!
Time passed, seasons changed, years went by and Yoo Joonghyuk moved on. It was difficult but
he managed it.
Yoo Mia stayed with Namgung Minyoung when Yoo Joonghyuk went to complete his mandatory
military service after Mia left elementary school and started primary school.
When he returned, Mia was there to greet him.
His master told him that she hadn't seen that girl so happy since he'd left.
Yoo Joonghyuk had some issues with his company and almost quit, but he held on, thinking of
Mia. He took up the advertisement offers he had been refusing all this time and his face was
literally on posters now. At least Mia seemed to think it was pretty cool.
There was a bit of an issue when Lee Hyungsung quit the team, but that got solved surprisingly
quickly when Hyungsung who had originally planned on serving in the army decided to return.
At twenty-five, Yoo Joonghyuk hit his prime. His name was known internationally, now called the
Supreme King.
He even took in a disciple, something he never thought he'd do. Lee Jihye had come off a bit too
strong, but having dealt with Kim Namwoon for so long, it was easy. And fourteen-year-old Lee
Jihye grew on him, she also had an interest in swordsmanship. When she found out that Kim
Namwoon had joined their gaming team when he was fourteen, after hacking and bluffing his way
through, she said she would try out as well.
Surprisingly, she got in and she had even beaten Namwoon's previous record.
Yoo Joonghyuk was paying for a uselessly big flat now and decided to move elsewhere.
Somewhere that was closer to Mia's new school than his old university.
They stayed at the place for a bit over a year or so and Yoo Joonghyuk managed to find a place a
few months before he turned twenty-six.
Honestly, it would have been just fine to keep living there, but Yoo Joonghyuk had too many
memories that he wanted to forget there so he made the decision to move.
Mia wanted to bring the huge picture on the wall along because she absolutely loved it and Yoo
Joonghyuk couldn't say no to his sister. It was the reason he had kept it all this time. He had
wanted nothing more than to rip it off the walls and mutilate it until even the scraps wouldn't
remind him of anything, but Mia loved it so it stayed. He even got a protective glass fitted over it
just so that he wouldn't give in to his urges and accidentally ruin it one day.
Mia said she wanted to fix it together like last time and that the two of them would manage it
because she was a big girl now and was turning nine soon, they didn't need Oppa's friend
anymore.
Yoo Joonghyuk couldn't bring himself to do that, so he hired someone to put it up. Mia was a bit
disappointed, but when Joonghyuk got it done while she was in school and told her it was a
surprise, she let it slide.
Yoo Joonghyuk had been preparing Yoo Mia's ninth birthday cake. He didn't like the cakes the
stores made anymore, they were simply not delicious so he learnt baking like he had wanted to all
those years back and as he had expected, he was good at it.
"Oppa," Mia called, sitting at the dining table doing her homework.
"What was that oppa's name?" she asked. "You know, the friend you used to have."
Yoo Joonghyuk almost dropped the bowl of cream he had just whipped up. Yoo Joonghyuk didn't
have a lot of friends and there was only one person that Mia would refer to as such.
"Ah, I have to write about my favourite childhood memory and I wanted to write about when he
put up the photo together," Mia gave him some context.
"And?" Yoo Joonghyuk prompted, turning around to face his sister.
"And," Mia said, her eyes still on her book, pencil tapping away on her cheek as she thought about
what to write. "I was writing about it. Do you remember that Oppa's name? He was your friend, I
think."
"Roommate," Yoo Joonghyuk corrected her.
"Oh no," Mia cried, aghast. "I have to change it now. How do you write roommate, Oppa?"
". . .Just write friend, it's okay," Yoo Joonghyuk said, swallowing the lump in his throat.
Mia squinted at her book, hesitated a bit, then gave in and let 'friend' be.
"Do you remember his name?" she asked.
When he didn't answer she supposed he had forgotten it too and said, "It's fine, Oppa. I'll just write
friend and leave it. No one knows anyway."
It had been almost four years and Mia had forgotten about Kim Dokja.
Yoo Joonghyuk put down the bowl he was holding and wiped his hands on the apron he was
wearing.
It made sense that Mia would have forgotten about that man. She had been very young when she
met him and they had hardly known each other for a year. Hell, even Yoo Joonghyuk had known
him for a couple of years.
Mia had probably seen the picture of the two of them standing before the frame at their old house,
the one that used to be Yoo Joonghyuk's wallpaper for so long, and made up her own
understanding about all of it. The man who took the photograph was nothing but her oppa's friend
in her mind.
No one was there to remind Mia of that man when Joonghyuk had left for military service. And
naturally, the man became a faded memory.
Yoo Joonghyuk himself didn't remember what he had looked like. He knew he was thin, a little
shorter than Yoo Joonghyuk. He remembered he had dark hair that would fall to his eyes every
time he read something on his beloved smartphone. He knew he had eyes that sparkled and a smile
that made Yoo Joonghyuk feel strange.
He remembered all about Kim Dokja, or rather everything Kim Dokja meant to him and made him
feel. But if he closed his eyes and tried to bring a picture to mind, he would just have this unclear,
ghostly image of the one he had loved so deeply.
An ache he hadn't felt in years took over him.
Yoo Mia had forgotten him so easily. A man who had practically raised her, a man who had loved
her so much.
And Yoo Joonghyuk felt just the slightest bit jealous. Why couldn't he do the same? Why couldn't
he forget him just as easily?
It had taken him more than a year to simply stop moping around because of Kim Dokja. Grinding
away in the army had dulled it away for him.
Yoo Joonghyuk didn't try to remind Mia. He was scared of what would happen to the fragile peace
he had maintained so far.
Kim Dokja had never left his mind in all those years.
Yoo Joonghyuk had matured a lot more, he had changed, and he understood so much now. And
maybe it was because of that, his first love would pop in and out of his mind every now and then.
It did not help that Kim Dokja had left his marks everywhere in his life.
Kim Dokja loved tattoos. He loved permanent marks, an ink that would never fade and he made
sure to leave his unerasable traces everywhere. Yoo Joonghyuk resented it a bit because they
weren't stains, no, they were beautiful marks that he couldn't help but be glad for.
Yoo Joonghyuk remembered all those years ago, when he struggled to communicate with Mia and
when Mia would hesitate to ask him for anything. Mia was no longer like that, she always searched
for him first.
A habit he knew Kim Dokja had instilled in her. He had watched the man do it.
It was easier to talk to Mia now. She no longer thought her brother's taciturn nature was something
meant to harm. That man had taught her what Joonghyuk's actions and words truly meant.
Whenever they went on an outing, brother and sister together, if Mia spotted a place she liked, she
would run to it and call, "Oppa, take a pretty photo of me!".
She wouldn't have done that when she was younger.
Yoo Joonghyuk liked taking Mia's photographs but had never been sure how to take them. It was
easier when she was a baby, but then it became awkward when she grew up. If they ever went out,
and there were families taking excited photographs, Yoo Joonghyuk would tentatively ask if she
wanted to get a picture taken and Mia would silently agree to it.
Then that man came along. He would excitedly point at a place and ask Mia to go stand there, then
give the phone to Yoo Joonghyuk and call to Mia, "Your Oppa is going to take a pretty photo,
okay?". Mia would nod and smile for the camera. That man would coax her to pose and she would.
Slowly, Mia started asking for her photographs to be taken.
The way Yoo Mia ate certain foods. She wasn't as picky as that man had been when it came to
tomatoes, but she did have a little dislike towards that certain ingredient.
When Yoo Joonghyuk noticed that he was still using very little tomatoes, he decided to change his
force of habit. Mia noticed it, and she told him that she liked the dish better when he used fewer
tomatoes.
Mia still coloured the way he had taught her. She would take a black colour pencil, draw around
the outlines and then colour starting from the border and moving in.
If she came across something she didn't understand, she would ask Yoo Joonghyuk or go look it up
on his phone, because it was something she didn't know and she wanted to know.
Whenever she wanted Joonghyuk to do something that she knew he would refuse, she would take
up the negotiation tactic and start with, "Oppa, listen," and attempt to convince him by giving valid
points.
That man had used tattoos to cover up his old scars and maybe that's the reason why Yoo
Joonghyuk kept associating these things with tattoos. They were simply beautiful things covering
up old wounds that were patching up steadily.
The huge picture on the wall. Joonghyuk had often seen Mia smile at it, she still put it somewhere
she could see every time she walked around the house.
The pain had dulled over the years. Now Yoo Joonghyuk would only feel his heart give a dull
thump and then fall back to normal when he looked at it.
To Mia, it was a happy memory.
It was a happy memory for him too, it was just a little blemished now. When Mia looked at the
picture, she remembered having fun with her brother one night. When Joonghyuk looked at the
picture, he remembered the big frame that man had brought into the house out of the blue and how
the man had been smiling behind the phone he was holding.
First loves were never going to work.
Yoo Joonghyuk had been too immature back then. They wouldn't have worked. . .That man was a
bit too clever for his own good. He really did have incredible foresight.
Even if they had somehow gotten together, it would have ended up in ruins. Perhaps even in worse
situations than it had now.
Yoo Joonghyuk saw Kim Dokja as someone akin to a celestial being. He would have fallen at his
feet, offered everything he had and worshipped the man. In his eyes, Kim Dokja was this perfect
creature who could never do anything wrong, would erase all his worries with just a touch and was
made just for him. Yoo Joonghyuk who had never been understood in his life obviously felt
different when someone like Kim Dokja barged into his life. Kim Dokja must have had his own
troubles, but that thought hadn't crossed Yoo Joonghyuk's mind back then.
Kim Dokja was also way too closed off, even more than Yoo Joonghyuk. He never consulted Yoo
Joonghyuk about the things he was going to do, even if they were huge decisions that would affect
both their lives. Kim Dokja hadn't really respected Yoo Joonghyuk's privacy if he thought about it.
He was rather suspicious, all things considered. And he was also a bit of a control freak when it
came to certain things.
Yoo Joonghyuk had been so madly in love that he hadn't noticed all the red flags. His only problem
back then was that he couldn't do anything for Kim Dokja and that Kim Dokja wouldn't tell him
anything. Not to mention that Kim Dokja had been under the impression that theirs was a give-and-
take relationship with no feelings attached and when Yoo Joonghyuk eventually got attached, he
dipped. Yoo Joonghyuk had been partly at fault too. He had started the whole thing because he had
romantic feelings for the other man, and when he thought that Kim Dokja didn't really think of
them as romantic, he let it be instead of talking it out because he wanted to keep Kim Dokja little
while longer, which ever way it was that he had him.
Even thinking about it made his head hurt. It was going to be such a shitty relationship.
He had been so fucking stupid back then. All the decisions he made just because Kim Dokja had
asked him to do so. Sure, they had helped him. But if it had been done with bad intentions, Yoo
Joonghyuk would have been so fucked.
If tomorrow, all the money vanished from his bank account, he would blame Kim Dokja and his
stupid idiot self from back then who would genuflect and do anything Kim Dokja had asked of
him.
Who was to know if Kim Dokja had somehow gotten his details? Not Yoo Joonghyuk, because he
was dumb to notice it then.
Goddamnit, it made him so mad, just thinking about it.
Kim Dokja had been both right and wrong. The reason why Yoo Joonghyuk had fallen in love with
him in the first place was because of the stability he had brought to his life. That man fixed his
troubles easily and kept whispering saccharine words to Joonghyuk. Yoo Joonghyuk had never had
someone in his life who would have supported him and encouraged him that way. It was new, it
was addicting and he fell for it.
Kim Dokja was wrong because Yoo Joonghyuk hadn't been mistaken. He really had been in love
with him.
Well, it was in the past anyway.
Mia got hurt while playing one day and he had to take her to the hospital. They said it was just a
sprain and everything would be fine. After the consultation and as they were heading out, Mia said
she wanted to go to the toilet. She insisted that she would be fine alone, but Yoo Joonghyuk went
along and waited outside the ladies' bathrooms.
It must have looked very suspicious, sure. A hulking man clad in all black, wearing a face mask,
leaning against the wall, glaring at the entrance to the ladies'.
So Yoo Joonghyuk took his mask off and pocketed it.
Mia took a lot longer than he had expected her to. Did something happen to her? Should he just
barge in and check in on her? She was hurt already as it is.
Yoo Joonghyuk decided to do the next best thing so that he wouldn't have the security called on
him and dragged away to the police station, absolutely ruining his professional life.
He asked the next lady who had walked out of the bathrooms if she had seen a girl with dark hair in
two pigtails, a yellow shirt and blue shorts. Luckily, the lady said she would look for her and went
back in.
A few moments later she returned with Yoo Mia behind her.
"Oppa, I was fine," Mia berated him. "I won't fall in or anything."
"You were taking too long," Yoo Joonghyuk said, really glad that Mia was fine.
Then he turned to the woman who had helped him and thanked her with a bow.
Only when she was leaving did he notice that she was wearing a white doctor's coat. He had been
so preoccupied with Mia that he hadn't noticed it. . .He should have addressed her as 'Dr' instead.
He had just called her 'Miss'.
He met the woman again when he went for Mia's next consultation. Mia was still in the doctor's
office, getting her plasters removed and she had asked him to go get her something from the
vending machine.
Usually, Yoo Joonghyuk wouldn't have agreed to get vending machine food, but he supposed he
could indulge her this once because she was injured.
He saw the woman standing before the vending machine, getting a can of green tea. A part of him
wanted to pretend he didn't recognise her, but the more reasonable part of his brain told him to
thank her for helping him last time.
The doctor noticed him before he could so much as open his mouth.
Her face lit up in recognition and she bowed her head in his direction. Yoo Joonghyuk returned the
action respectfully. If he had been a little earlier, he would have been able to buy her something
from the vending machine and be done with paying back his debt. Now he'd lost his chance, she
had already got herself something.
"Are you here to get something?" she said gesturing at the vending machine behind her and Yoo
Joonghyuk nodded.
"Ah, please, go ahead," the doctor said moving out of the way and Yoo Joonghyuk decided to get
it done with quickly.
As he stood in front of the vending machine, he remembered a vague memory of a little boy who
almost got crushed under one, but he quickly shoved it to the back of his mind.
"You're Yoo Joonghyuk-ssi, right?" the doctor said, almost startling him. He hadn't been expecting
her to talk.
"That's right," Yoo Joonghyuk said. Well, he supposed his face was a bit more recognisable now
and he wasn't wearing his mask either. Not to mention his signature black.
"Ah, I was right," the doctor said brightly. "I did think I had recognised you last time."
Then she said something very unexpected. "I'm not sure if you remember, but we went to the same
high school."
What?
Great, he didn't remember a lot about high school, let alone his classmates.
"You wouldn't know me," the doctor said. "We didn't really have many chances to meet. I was two
years below you, you see. But you were pretty popular back then, Joonghyuk-ssi. I still remember
you because you get brought up in our old alumni gatherings."
Yoo Joonghyuk hadn't gone to any such meetings. He really didn't care for his highschool mates.
"I'm Lee Seolhwa," the doctor said extending her hand for Yoo Joonghyuk to take and he did so
and shook it. He noticed that she was really pretty. Long white hair tied in a neat ponytail, deep red
lips pulled in a gentle smile.
"Have you been to any recent gatherings, Joonghyuk-ssi? I think there was one recently," she said.
"No," Yoo Joonghyuk told her.
"Me either," said Lee Seolhwa. "I used to be very excited to go to them a few years back, but it's all
gone now."
They spoke a bit more about their old high school and a few incidents Lee Seolhwa remembered.
Yoo Joonghyuk had only a handful of vivid memories of high school, but he could tell they had
gone to the same place.
"Do you still keep in touch with any of your old classmates?" she asked once she was done telling
him about a few old friends she had. Yoo Joonghyuk had stayed because he owed Lee Seolhwa
one, and it was a pleasant experience to have someone come up to talk to him because of a different
reason than the one that they were a fan.
"Lee Hyungsung," Yoo Joonghyuk answered. "He is in my team."
"Ah, that's good," Lee Seolhwa said politely and Yoo Joonghyuk realized she didn't really know
who he was. So he thought of someone else that she might know.
A person came to mind. A person who had been his junior by two years, the same as Lee
Seolhwa.
But that person was the devil incarnate. If Satan decided to put all his mischief and malice into a
single being and set it free on earth, it would be that little gremlin.
Yoo Joonghyuk had first met her in his third year when the girl with dark hair that framed her face
came up to him and demanded him to stick with her because he was popular and then promote her
web novels on his streams.
Try as hard as he might, Yoo Joonghyuk was never able to get rid of the pest. Not even after all
these years.
He would have mentioned her name if he hadn't been genuinely worried that he might somehow
summon the thing here.
She had been a bit more bearable back then when they were in high school. Sure, she had been
annoying and kept asking him stupid things every now and then, but it was still alright. A few
years ago, however, she started actively annoying him, and even thinking about her gave him a
headache. It was like she hated him for no reason.
. . .Okay, maybe not no reason. That woman was someone who seemed to stick to him like some
sort of weird curse. She had also enrolled in the same university as him and during his final year,
she had come up to him and tried to get to meet a friend of hers who was apparently an avid fan of
Yoo Joonghyuk's.
"I am not interested in a loser who has nothing better to sit at home all day and watch videos," Yoo
Joonghyuk had snapped back at her and he remembered just how she had scowled back at him for
insulting her friend.
Alright, he saw where things could have gone wrong.
But it wasn't entirely his fault! He was still recovering from the aftershock of the whole incident
with Kim Dokja, vowing that he would never love like that again and there was this annoying thing
trying to set him up with some rando. It pissed Yoo Joonghyuk off.
"Han Sooyoung," he said slowly, wondering if the woman would actually pop up into existence
now. "Do you know her? She was in the same year as you."
". . .I think I remember someone with that name," Lee Seolhwa said, thinking.
"She used to write web novels, very annoying," Yoo Joonghyuk provided. "Short," he added as an
afterthought. If Han Sooyoung materialized now brandishing a machete, Yoo Joonhyuk wouldn't
be surprised.
"Ah, was she someone special?"
Yoo Joonghyuk was appalled.
"We had a fight that almost got us suspended," he clarified. Lee Seolhwa raised her eyebrows.
"I punched her and she threw a book at me," he said and Lee Seolhwa clapped her hands together,
recollecting the incident. It had been big back then after all.
Han Sooyoung had come up to him one day, simply annoying the shit out of him and asking him
about his type. Hoping that she would leave, Yoo Joonghyuk said that no one at school was pretty
enough.
Han Sooyoung had cackled like a deranged witch and said that he was probably gay and so didn't
see any girls as pretty.
Yoo Joonghyuk, being a teenager who was still struggling with things such as sexuality and
feelings, got ticked off, because he had been thinking of a boy when he said that.
So he decked Han Sooyoung in the face. She went flying and everyone in the corridor screamed.
The girl had jumped to her feet within seconds, grabbed a heavy hardback book out of nowhere and
threw it at him with all her strength; the book catching him right in the face, knocking him to the
floor.
The teachers had come running, they were taken to the infirmary and then to the principal to get a
talking to. Both of them had stood in the office, hands behind their back, Han Sooyoung sporting a
swollen cheek and Yoo Joonghyuk having a split lip that refused to stop bleeding.
"I don't mind," Han Sooyoung had said loudly in front of the principal. "He's a real one for that. I
can take on his ass any day."
"You wish, midget," Yoo Joonghyuk hissed back and someone had to physically hold Han
Sooyoung back before she launched herself on him.
"I hope the twink of your dreams ditches your loser ass," Han Sooyoung roared back and now Yoo
Joonghyuk had to be restrained.
It was a very big incident in their school. And one of the things he had never forgotten about his
teenage years.
Was that why Han Sooyoung somehow stuck like a leech to him? They were not friends and Yoo
Joonghyuk knew that all Han Sooyoung wanted from him was to use him. And she bothered her
probably because she disliked him so much.
"Oh, I remember her now," Lee Seolhwa's pleasant voice said. "Han Sooyoung. That was her
name, huh? You said she is a web novelist?"
More like a loser who wrote trash, but he didn't say that to Lee Seolhwa.
Yoo Joonghyuk had never actually read Han Sooyoung's works, but he automatically recorded
them as trash in his head because the author was a certain pest. They said you have to separate the
art from the artist, but honestly, that was bullshit and Yoo Joonghyuk wouldn't read Han
Sooyoung's writing even if he had a gun pointed at his head.
When he went back to Mia, she was very annoyed. Her brother had taken very long to return, so
Yoo Joonghyuk told her about his meeting with Lee Seolhwa.
Mia perked up when he told her that it was the woman who had helped her a while back.
"The pretty Unnie?" she asked and Yoo Joonghyuk nodded.
Mia gasped and clamped her hands to her mouth. "Oppa, do you like her?"
Yoo Joonghyuk felt he should have something else other than "She was fine," because Mia kept
bothering him about it during the whole drive back home. Something about how he was getting too
old and had to marry, because apparently her class teacher was getting married soon and she was
younger than Yoo Joonghyuk.
Yoo Joonghyuk checked his messages once he was back home and to his horror, he saw a few
messages from an unknown number.
See! It was a valid fear. How the fuck did she keep getting to him even after he'd blocked her so
many times. He had even reported Han Sooyoung to the police once, but they said they couldn't
take any charges up against her because she hadn't done anything that could be considered
'criminal' and she also seemed to have some pretty good connections high up.
'Hey, Supreme Loser

I woke up today feeling annoyed
Like u shat on my shoe.
Were u talking smack about me behind my back?
Say it to my face u coward.
Blocking my number like a little bitch.
Grow some balls, pussy'
Yoo Joonghyuk wanted to type a scathing reply back, but that would be rising to the bait and he
was not that stupid.
Han Sooyoung seemed to have noticed that he had read his messages because she sent him some
obscene emojis and Yoo Joonghyuk proceeded to block her yet again.
This was why he refused to mention that witch's name. She had some weird sixth sense and would
always drive him up the wall like this. If she had been in front of him right now, he would have
punched her in the face again.
Yoo Mia kept coming up with silly excuses all week, saying that she needed to go to the hospital.
Yoo Joonghyuk told her to drop it and said she would only get to go to the hospital when it was
time for her final check up and that was the end of it.
"Oppa, listen, I'm trying to help you," Mia said, but Yoo Joonghyuk refused to listen.
"No."
"Oh, come on!! Oppa, you're going to end up lonely for the rest of your life."
"I won't. . .I have you," Yoo Joonghyuk said and Mia gave up her attempts to frighten Yoo
Joonghyuk into it.
Under Mia's insistence, Yoo Joonghyuk asked for Dr Lee Seolhwa at the reception and when she
came down half an hour later, Yoo Joonghyuk asked her for a meal so that he could thank her for
her help last time.
Mia was giggling the whole time.
Lee Seolhwa was the one who asked him on a date first and surprised, Yoo Joonghyuk said yes.
One date turned into two, to five and soon they made it official.
Mia was over the moon.
It was a steady relationship without a lot of roadblocks. Yoo Joonghyuk was pretty nervous
considering this was technically his first relationship. So he put in some effort and pushed all
plaguing thoughts about his past. It might be hard to forget everything to remind him of it, but his
first love was something he wasn't planning on ever bringing up.
The first time Seolhwa came over to his house, she, like all the other visitors Yoo Joonghyuk had
had was impressed by the framed photograph right in the living room.
"You look really happy, Joonghyuk-ssi," Lee Seolhwa said after staring at it for a long time. "I've
never seen you smile like that."
"Is that so?" Yoo Joonghyuk said, looking resolutely at little Mia's face. He had always refused to
look at his own visage in the image because he knew he had been smiling. He also knew that the
fond smile was something directed at the person who had been holding the camera and he refused
to think of that person.
"Oppa doesn't smile often," Mia told Seolhwa. "But you can see it in his eyes, really."
Yoo Joonghyuk pretended he didn't hear anything at all.
"You've been here before, Mia-yah?" Lee Seolhwa asked when they walked into the Elysium
coffeehouse.
"Mmhmm," Mia nodded excitedly. "Oppa's brought me here a few times."
Yoo Joonghyuk had gone from getting a favour from a 'friend' of his being able to reserve a table
for himself over the years.
Their tables were on the second floor this time and Yoo Joonghyuk found out that the third floor
was something that was only reserved for VIPs. He refused to think any further about that.
"There's a pretty garden on the other side," Mia was telling Seolhwa as they had their teacakes.
Yoo Joonghyuk still thought it was just above average and not worth the price, but as long as Mia
liked it.
"The one we saw on our way up?" Seolhwa asked. Mia said she wanted to take the stairs and so
they climbed up two floors.
Mia nodded before going to take a sip from her chocolate milkshake.
"They've got butterflies there," Mia said, taking her lips off the straw. "Oppa's got photos on his
computer."
"You have to show them to me when we get home then," Lee Seolhwa smiled and Mia nodded
happily.
"Did you come along with someone?" Lee Seolhwa asked when they were sitting in front of Yoo
Joonghyuk's personal computer, Mia clicking through the pictures.
"Oppa had a roommate who came along with us," Mia said.
"Joonghyuk-ssi looks so young here," Seolhwa giggled at the photograph of Yoo Joonghyuk
holding Mia up so that she could touch a pretty flower that matched her hairclip on a tree.
"The garden wasn't out of bounds back then, I guess."
"You can't go there anymore?" Mia said, upset at the news.
"I don't think so. I saw a sign when we were going up."
Yoo Joonghyuk stared at a spot on the wall and said nothing.
Yoo Joonghyuk finally gave up when he was having a movie night with Seolhwa.
It was a romcom where the characters were predominantly all doctors. Yoo Joonghyuk stopped
following the plot half an hour into the movie. The whole thing just seemed pointless. For
whatever reason were they running around in circles about this one particular patient was lost on
him.
Seolhwa seemed to notice this because she had laughed and told him that he was funny.
Yoo Joonghyuk had no fucking clue how he was funny. He would admit, he had no humour sense.
Seolhwa was probably just too nice to tell him that he was being an idiot.
"I've heard of that name," Yoo Joonghyuk said, attempting to put in some effort as well. He wanted
to let Seolhwa know that he really appreciated her and though he was a generally silent person, it
didn't mean he was being indifferent.
"It's for migraines, isn't it?"
"Hmm, I guess it could help with migraines," Seolhwa said referring back to the name of a
medication they had said in the movie. "It's an antidepressant. Sometimes, helping with sleeping
and headaches is a side effect of that."
"Did you know someone who took it?" Seolhwa asked when Yoo Joonghyuk's frown grew. "Did
they tell you it was for migraines?"
"Yes," Yoo Joonghyuk admitted.
"It can be hard sometimes," Seolhwa said understandingly. "It's not something easy to talk about it.
It's not my field, but I've heard of many patients who refuse to get see a professional because of all
the stigma surrounding mental health issues."
Yoo Joonghyuk hummed to show he was listening.
He hesitated, then decided to ask anyway. "Do you think you could get them by knowing the right
people and talking your way?" he said.
Seolhwa looked amused.
"If by knowing the right people you mean licenced psychiatrists and talking to them enough to get
a prescription, then yes," she said. "I'm not really sure, but I think that's given for PTSD."
"Post Traumatic Stress Disorder," she explained.
Seolhwa never shied away from asking questions and waiting until she got the exact answer. He
supposed it was something that came with her profession.
"Was that person someone important to you?" she asked.
Yoo Joonghyuk decided not to lie so he nodded.
"And they never told you?"
He shook his head. Seolhwa placed her hand on his trying to comfort him.
Yoo Joonghyuk realised he had lost.
He had etched one too many memories of a certain bastard in his mind and they were not going
anywhere anytime soon. The best chance he had was to acknowledge them and move on.
Nothing from the past mattered anymore. It was all painful memories anyway. All he could do it
learn from his old mistakes.
He held Seolhwa's hand back and she leaned into his shoulder. They continued watching the movie
and sat there on the sofa even long after the movie was done.
Seolhwa started talking first and Yoo Joonghyuk was thankful for that. They had somehow jumped
from topic to topic and were now talking about first loves.
"Is this your way of telling me I'm stupid?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked, jokingly, when Seolhwa
finished telling him about her first boyfriend, a high school classmate who was always top of the
grade.
"Geez, why is that the conclusion you reached?" Seolhwa chided.
Yoo Joonghyuk understood why she was saying this. It must have taken a toll on her to have
started the conversation, she must have thought a lot about it. Yoo Joonghyuk wouldn't even have
tried. They were trying to talk about a topic that was bound to be sensitive; about their pasts, their
old memories which were bound to have caused them hurt.
"Did you have a first love?" she asked.
"Yes," Yoo Joonghyuk replied.
"What was she like?"
Yoo Joonghyuk decided this was the best time to break it to her. He felt she deserved to know.
"He was... weird."
Seolhwa was silent for a few seconds and then asked, "So you are bisexual?"
"Yes," Yoo Joonghyuk said. "I apologize. I should have told you before."
"No, no, it's fine," Seolhwa said waving his apology away. "There is no need for you to apologize.
I'm glad you told me."
"So," she said. "Tell me, what was he like?"

"Weird," Yoo Joonghyuk repeated. "Smiled a lot. Lied a lot. Always got in trouble."
"Oh, interesting. . .When did you meet?"
Yoo Joonghyuk wondered why Seolhwa found his story interesting, especially when he wasn't a
good storyteller.
"I was fifteen," he said.
"Oh my!" Seolhwa seemed very excited. "So young. Where did you meet? Middle school?"
"Hospital," Yoo Joonghyuk told her. "We had our beds next to each other. . .It seems that hospitals
are lucky places for me."
Seolhwa laughed and Yoo Joonghyuk smiled slightly. He liked her laughs.
"Remember when I punched Han Sooyoung?" he said, uncharacteristic of him, but he wanted to
hear Lee Seolhwa's laugh again. She nodded, sitting up a bit straighter, anticipating the direction of
the tale. It wasn't very interesting per se, but Yoo Joonghyuk would try to deliver to her
expectations.
"It was because of that," Yoo Joonghyuk said. "I wasn't really sure that I liked him back then. And
Han Sooyoung figured it out, so I punched her."
Lee Seolhwa's eyebrows shot up and she had to bite her lip in order to stop herself from smiling
and letting Yoo Joonghyuk continue.
"She threw a book at me. It nearly broke my teeth and I had to put a bandaid on my face for a
whole month."
"How did she know?"
"I think she guessed," Yoo Joonghyuk guessed.
"Was he at our school?"
"No. . . I don't know which school he went to."
"You never asked?"
"No."
"Did you confess?" Seolhwa asked. "Did you ever get together?"
Yoo Joonghyuk shook his head.
"I confessed, he rejected," he said.
"Oh, wow. You didn't even ask him about his school but confessed. You used to be very brave, I
see."
Yoo Joonghyuk would tell her the whole story some other time. There was a lot to unpack there. It
could be summarized easily if he thought about it.
They met again as adults, became friends and had a bit of a complicated relationship before he
confessed and got rejected.
It might be easy to put into words in his head, but when he had to get them out of his mouth, he
struggled.
Maybe it was because of all the other emotional baggage that would have to be brought up if he
mentioned this. He would have to talk about how he lacked warmth in his childhood and how he
had been lonely his entire adolescence. And about how that man's kindness had seemed like
salvation to him and how he got attached easily.
That was a story for another time.
Lee Seolhwa's parents didn't really like him all that much. They didn't think pro-gamer was much
of a career, especially since their daughter was a doctor. Though they said that they were
impressed by Yoo Joonghyuk's sense of responsibility and commitment to family values since he
had been taking care of his sister all on his own, Yoo Joonghyuk didn't feel it was very sincere.
And Yoo Mia had also caused trouble at Seolhwa's parents' place. She didn't keep her promise of
acting like a sweet summer child once the oldies insulted her brother. She said this right there, in
the Lee household, in front of everyone.
Yoo Mia never held anything back, she said what she thought. She knew moderation, of course.
She also had a budding anger issue recently. Yoo Joonghyuk could manage it; others, not so much.
Thankfully, Lee Seolhwa was more than understanding and their relationship saw no strain.
Though Yoo Joonghyuk never met her parents again; he wasn't particularly upset by that, he hadn't
liked them much. He didn't think they would want to meet him either.
They broke up after going strong for a bit over a year and half.
They had just gotten busy and drifted apart. After four days of radio silence from both sides, Lee
Seolhwa suggested that they break it off.
Yoo Joonghyuk agreed.
It had been an amicable split. Both seemed sorry that they had to end like this.
Mia cried. She had really liked Lee Seolhwa and Yoo Joonghyuk felt slightly bitter.
. . .Ah, that's why it was better to break up. He was still not free from the ghosts of his past and that
wasn't fair for Seolhwa.
He wasn't planning on asking her to reconsider or stay anyway.
Yoo Joonghyuk had accepted long ago that no one would stay in his life for any longer than they
needed to. People weren't meant to stay, they would all eventually leave.
Mia went to sleep crying.
Yoo Joonghyuk sat up and after a long while, had a drink.
He was feeling really bitter today.
As he sipped the red wine from the glass in his hand, he thought of cold, bitter beers.
He thought back to Mia sobbing and asking Seolhwa to not go. Why had she been crying? Even
Joonghyuk hadn't felt that bad, instead, he felt like he deserved that.
Why hadn't she cried when Kim Dokja had left? Why didn't Mia show this much sorrow when Kim
Dokja, a man who had helped raise her, left? Maybe if she had cried, he would have reconsidered.
No, Yoo Joonghyuk wasn't expecting to guilt-trip Kim Dokja into staying or anything.
He just wanted closure. The whole incident had left a great impact on him.
On cold nights he would think he saw a ghost of someone lying next to him, saying 'Joonghyuk-
ah'.
But that was what made him realise that it was fake. Kim Dokja had never stayed, he had always
left as soon as he could. And no matter what he had tried, he didn't stay.
He'd thought about that day countless times in his head and he suspected that over the years the
memory might have gotten a bit skewed. He had wished countless times that he could just rewind
time, go back to when that day had started and he would have done so many things differently. So
many things he could have said, so many things he could have done.
Sometimes he felt his ability to love someone had died away when Kim Dokja abandoned him like
that.
He had loved that man with all he had, with all he didn't know he had, but he could just walk away.
Yoo Joonghyuk learnt that your sincerity didn't always reach the other person. He learnt that some
people no matter how much he tried and how much he gave, just couldn't take.
He realised that Kim Dokja probably had issues of his own, he knew that. Anti-depressants, PTSD,
a sad childhood, the things he said. He seemed to have a desperate need to be useful. Yoo
Joonghyuk hadn't realised it back then, probably because he was more focused on himself than
Kim Dokja, but the words Kim Dokja tended to be very self-depreciative. Anything that related to
him was considered useless. When he panicked, he would say that he could fix things, that he
could make things alright.
He had just broken up with Lee Seolhwa, what the fuck was he doing?
Blaming Kim Dokja for his incompetence wasn't going to do anything.
So he drank a bit more.
He didn't want to be completely out of his mind, Mia would still wake up in the morning and she
would probably be tired after all the crying she had done the previous day. He drank slowly.
The reason why Mia hadn't cried hit him out of the blue.
Kim Dokja had probably sat her down and explained it to her. He had probably told her something,
mostly likely nicely crafted lies, and consoled her. Maybe Mia had cried in front of him before and
maybe he had comforted her and reassured her that everything would be fine.
He replayed that scene in his head again.
Kim Dokja had been crying, he recollected.
What was he mourning? A friend lost? Was it the pressure of being forced to speak?
Yoo Joonghyuk felt utterly ridiculous because of that tiny part in his heart that went, it was
because, maybe, just maybe, Kim Dokja had loved him back as well. And he couldn't tell him
because of whatever reason.
The end line was still the same though, Yoo Joonghyuk told himself sternly.
Kim Dokja could never love Yoo Joonghyuk as Yoo Joonghyuk loved Kim Dokja. And there was
never scope for it to be anything else.
Twenty-seven and he was still moping about someone who wasn't even his lover.
It shouldn't have been that complicated. When you love someone, you tell them and move on with
whatever result you get. Why did it end up like that?
Maybe it was because Kim Dokja had said 'later'. Maybe a part of him was still waiting for 'later'.
Yoo Joonghyuk had lived off of crumbs of affection all his life, it might as well have been a sin to
have tried to keep everything for himself when he saw a meal. That's what he used to think for a
while.
What he wanted, what he needed, Yoo Joonghyuk realised was closure. Crudely put, he just
wanted to know that it wasn't his fault that it had gone to ruins. That it wasn't because he got too
greedy and couldn't be satisfied with what he had. That it wasn't because he was somehow not
enough and that his love was somehow dirty.
In other words, he wanted it to be Kim Dokja's fault. He wanted to shift the blame completely onto
him so that he could feel liberated.
And that made him feel shittier because Yoo Joonghyuk would much rather be the sinner than see
Kim Dokja hurt. It was the absolute worst that it was his own traitorous mind that wished he could
hurt Kim Dokja simply because he had been hurt by him.
Just how pathetic was he?
Maybe it was he had drunk one too many glasses of wine, because Yoo Joonghyuk took his phone
out and did something he had never done.
He had lost all of Kim Dokja's contacts years ago. He had unfollowed him on all the social media
platforms and now he had forgotten his handles. So he went to the trusty search engine.
He really was drunk, Yoo Joonghyuk told himself when he typed Kim Dokja's name into the usual
Naver search engine. Results showed up immediately.
Yoo Joonghyuk blinked. He had been expecting his Instagram profile or Twitter account, not
whatever this was.
Feeling a little more awake, Yoo Joonghyuk forced himself to think logically. Of course, he
wouldn't find any social media accounts easily. Kim Dokja didn't name his accounts 'Kim Dokja',
now did he?
Whatever all these articles about 'Kim Dokja' was something else.
The articles spoke about a boy who had been the victim of domestic abuse by his father. The story
was one that blew up the nation apparently, Yoo Joonghyuk had no idea.
Not that he would have, he was just as old as Kim Dokja then.
This Kim Dokja was just a child.
Yoo Joonghyuk scanned the article, simply to get the gist, so he could figure out at least a bit more
about the enigma called Kim Dokja.
Abusive household, a drunkard husband. The wife snapped and killed her husband in front of her
son. She went to prison, a few years later published a book from there that was an instant hit.
A book talking about the horrors that the family had faced.
Reporters had swarmed the young boy who had been left to fend for himself and Yoo Joonghyuk
stared at the old photograph of a tiny Kim Dokja, reminding him awfully of the fifteen-year-old he
had seen all those years ago.
Kim Dokja didn't have any pictures of himself, Yoo Joonghyuk remembered.
Children were cruel, Kim Dokja would say. They pick on the smallest of things and the way he had
been so protective of Mia. Things Kim Dokja had done started making sense to him.
Yoo Joonghyuk took a deep breath. He closed all the tabs open on his phone and switched the
device off.
He shouldn't have done that. He had made a mistake.
That story was not his to forcibly find out.
And even though he wanted to know more, he wouldn't act upon his curiosity. That was Kim
Dokja's story to tell and if Kim Dokja didn't tell him, he didn't have the right to find out.
That conclusion brought Yoo Joonghyuk some sort of peace.
He could sit there and analyse Kim Dokja for hours but it wouldn't make a lot of difference.
He had decided to present his heart to Kim Dokja, and that was his decision. Kim Dokja had
decided to keep his heart safe with himself, and that was his. Yoo Joonghyuk had no right to
demand and explanation, just as much as Kim Dokja didn't have one to ask him.
What had happened had happened and it had passed.
He had gotten hurt but that was perhaps just a reminder that he was still alive. And the fact that he
was still alive was proof that he could survive even what seemed to be the greatest sorrows of life.
Simple, really.
Chapter End Notes
Well, hope you enjoyed that.

Chapter 12
Chapter Notes
Yoo Joonghyuk's biggest joy when he was twenty-eight was cooking and listening to Mia talk
about school.
He had made all of Mia's favourite dishes the day she mentioned a classmate's name.
Mia, like her brother, didn't have any friends for a long time. Even though this pained him, Yoo
Joonghyuk decided the best thing he could do was be a supportive brother and be there for Mia.
Mia had been talking to him about her day while he set up their dinner as usual. She said she'd
already finished all her homework during lunch at school. Yoo Joonghyuk wondered if she was
lying, but the siblings rarely ever lied to each other. Honesty was an important virtue in their
household. And Mia didn't look like she had been lying.
She told him about how she and Shin Yoosung finished their work. Shin Yoosung was very good
at Enviromental Science apparently and she seemed to have some strange rivalry with this other
boy in their class called Lee Gilyoung.
"It's funny because they go home together," Mia smiled. "They even live together, they are like
siblings but fight like cats and dogs."
Then she paused and muttered. "If they heard me say that, they'll both make that into another
fight."
Mia had never mentioned another classmate by their name. She had always said she didn't like
anyone at school, or that they were all just annoying. They were all referred to in common nouns.
But this was the first time she was talking about not one, but two people so earnestly. Mia had
made her first friends and Yoo Joonghyuk was over the moon. Best day of the year for sure. He
might as well mark it on the calendar.
"Why?" he asked, so he could hear more about his sister's friends.
"Shin Yoosung really likes animals, you see," Mia told him. "Lee Gilyoung doesn't. He likes bugs
and insects more. So they end up fighting all the time over it."
"Ah, one day, Shin Yoosung took a stray dog home, it was injured. So Lee Gilyoung said he didn't
want to lose and found this big praying mantis and took it home. It was like this big."
She moved her hands around to show him just how big the insect was.
Yoo Joonghyuk supposed their parents must be very supportive. Mia had never asked him to get
her a pet. He wondered if she was holding back because she didn't want to trouble her brother.
"I think they still have it," Mia said. "I'll ask them tomorrow."
"They are siblings?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked, noting that they had different last names. It was
probably something complicated. Their parents could have gotten remarried, with one child on
each side, hence the different last names. It would also explain the strange friction they had
between the two of them.
"Sort of," Mia said. "But they're not related by blood. Shin Yoosung's parents are horrible so Lee
Gilyoung's ahjussi takes care of her."
What?
And Mia went on to vent out her frustrations about Shin Yoosung's family life.
By the end of it, Mia was almost crying because she just felt so bad for her friend.
Yoo Joonghyuk saw how those three might have become friends. They all had something in
common, a lack of parents in their life. It must have been like a breath of fresh air for Mia, to meet
someone like her. Someone who would understand her and not judge, but support her.
"We can. . ." Yoo Joonghyuk started, not really sure what he was trying to say. "We can help."
Shin Yoosung's story reminded him a bit of them, him and Mia. Shin Yoosung had been neglected
by her parents, to the point that they forgot to give her lunch for school, forgot about parent-teacher
meetings, and even happened to forget that she would come home in the afternoon and left the
house locked and the poor girl had to stay outside in the cold till the next morning.
"I'll ask," Mia said. "I don't mind. I like Yoosung. We can be sisters. . .You don't mind, do you,
Oppa?"
Yoo Joonghyuk shook his head. He wanted to help the child as well.
The next day, as promised, Yoo Mia asked her friend and came back with a reply.
"She said no," Mia told him.
"I can talk to her," Yoo Joonghyuk offered help.
"I told her that, but she still said no," Mia sighed, leaning against the window of the car and
looking outside on their way home from her school. "I don't know why she likes that ahjussi, he
looks gloomy always."
"Her father?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked, a flame of rage jumping up in him.
"Like her father," Mia said. "Ahjussi found Yoosung one day and took her home."
Yoo Joonghyuk almost crashed the car.
Of course, Mia was a child, she was only eleven. She didn't know just how dangerous the whole
deal was.
"He's a bit weird. That ahjussi likes to collect kids," she said, sounding slightly amused. She
sounded like she had taken a liking to this ahjussi.
Oh, fuck, it was a paedophile. Collecting kids? He had gotten Yoosung and if he remembered right
from their previous conversations, Lee Gilyoung was already pulled in and next was Mia!
"I am talking to your teacher tomorrow," Yoo Joonghyuk declared, glaring at the road, his grip on
the steering wheel tight.
"What? Why?" Mia said, confused.
Yoo Joonghyuk was absolutely appalled by Mia's teacher. When he asked her about the suspicious
man who had been taking care of Shin Yoosung and Lee Gilyoung, she simply smiled and told him
that he was a good man.
Usually, Yoo Joonghyuk would have calmed down and trusted her judgement, but right now the
woman had bright red cheeks as she was talking about this 'guardian' who had been nice enough to
pick up kids who had nowhere to go to and care for them.
Right, so there was a very strong possibility that this ahjussi was just a fucking psychopath and had
managed to trick this poor teacher as well. God damn it. He wasn't going to leave the children's fate
to this incompetent teacher. So he went to the principal.
Yoo Joonghyuk got a similar answer there and he was ready to punch somebody.
So Yoo Joonghyuk demanded his contact information. He was aware that he might just be
misunderstanding something, but as a guardian, he still had the right to know. He would talk to the
man in question himself.
The answer he got was, "Sorry, sir, but we can not give out contact information without the other
party's consent".
Yoo Joonghyuk understood that he really did. He, as someone who had enough experience with the
public and fame, knew just how dangerous that could be. But really! What about the children?!
He decided to scope out the situation first, and so he decided to invite Mia's friends home so that he
could use this as an excuse to talk to them and find out more.
When their school ended in the afternoon, Yoo Joonghyuk parked his car and went to fetch Mia
and her friends.
He found his sister waiting outside the school grounds, playing with her bag as two other kids her
age were talking to a short man in a dark brown suit who kept fidgeting nervously.
"Is Ahjussi busy?" the girl with light hair that fell to her shoulders was saying to the man.
"Yes, it seems so," the man said, speaking rather respectfully to the children.
Hmph, so that scumbag wasn't here, was he? Was he afraid that Yoo Joonghyuk would catch him
red-handed and bust all his plans?
"Oppa!" Mia's voice brought him to earth. Mia had spotted him and waved him over eagerly.
Yoo Joonghyuk knew he was an imposing figure but no one had yet reacted like the man in the suit
had. He had given a loud squeak, jumped, and then looked away, very embarrassed.
"I am Yoo Joonghyuk," Yoo Joonghyuk said. "You are Shin Yoosung and Lee Gilyoung's
guardian?"
"Mia-yah, your Oppa really is cool," Yoo Joonghyuk heard Shin Yoosung whisper to Mia.
"Of course, he is," Mia whispered back. "I told you."
"Hyung's better," the boy with dark brown hair and a snapback hat, Lee Gilyoung, he presumed,
muttered.
"Obviously," Shin Yoosung rolled her eyes.
"No, he's not," Mia snapped back at the exact time.
Yoo Joonghyuk was still staring down at the man who had now pulled out his phone with a
muttered, "Excuse me".
"Ahjussi," Shin Yoosung said and Yoo Joonghyuk looked at her. "He's just nervous. Give him
some time, please."
"It's his first time," Lee Gilyoung said, glancing pitifully at the man with them.
"He is not your guardian?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked and all three children shook their heads.
"Ahjussi is busy today," Shin Yoosung said, she seemed a little disappointed.
"Hyung's got important things to do," Lee Gilyoung shrugged.
"He really wanted to come, though," Shin Yoosung added. "He doesn't do this usually. He comes to
get us by himself."
"Have you seen this man?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked his sister since this 'ahjussi' guy seemed rather
elusive. Mia nodded positively.
Alright. . .Alright. He would observe for longer.
The man in the brown suit was now on a phone call, speaking frantically.
"Ah—this—No, Bihyung Sunbae-nim!—I've never done this. . . Ah, okay, okay. . .Yes."
So this man was a bastard who bullied his work juniors by sending them on personal errands. That
said a lot of things about him.
Yoo Joonghyuk didn't have a lot of expectations when he came, but he was open to being
pleasantly surprised. This was just disappointing. He had to see if the children were fairing well. If
they weren't, he was calling the police.
The man finally turned to Yoo Joonghyuk and gave him a curt bow.
"Yoo Joonghyuk-ssi," he said slowly attempting to sound professional, but he'd already failed that
bit by his previous behaviour. "I have informed my senior about the kids and I will come to pick
them up later in the evening."
Yoo Joonghyuk narrowed his eyes.
"You have to introduce yourself first," Lee Gilyoung sighed, rolling his eyes in exasperation.
"Ah!" the man jumped. "I'm extremely sorry!" he said bowing deeply. "I am new to this. My
apologies, Yoo Joonghyuk-ssi. I'm Youngki."
The man struggled with his inner coat pockets and finally retrieved a wallet, from which he pulled
out a card and stretched it to Yoo Joonghyuk with both hands.
Yoo Joonghyuk took it and scanned it. Star Stream, low-grade employee, Youngki. . . Star Stream.
Everybody had heard of Star Stream.
It can be deduced that this Ahjussi guy worked for Star Stream, somewhere above a low-grade
employee. It still didn't explain why he didn't so much as talk to Yoo Joonghyuk over the phone.
How busy was this man that he was just okay with giving away the children to some random
stranger? What an irresponsible son of a bitch.
"Mia already gave him the address," Shin Yoosung told Yoo Joonghyuk and he decided that he
needed to have a talk with Mia about giving out personal information to strangers.
The man, Youngki called someone again, and by the looks of it, he got scolded for disturbing a
busy man. Yoo Joonghyuk's already horrible opinion of this man was falling further down rapidly.
"...I just—I am sorry!—Ah, yes, the kids are with Yoo Joonghyuk-ssi. Yes, I told him. . ."
The man extracted the phone from his ear, put a hand over it to cover it and asked Yoo Joonghyuk,
"When should I come to pick up the kids?"
"Seven o'clock," Yoo Joonghyuk said. Mia groaned.
"Seven o'clock," Youngki repeated back to the man on the phone. "Yes, Sunbae-nim. Got it. Please
tell Mr Kim not to worry. . .Ah, sorry. Yes."
Yoo Joonghyuk felt bad for this poor employee. Star Stream was sure a shitty place to work for. If
it weren't for the company's widespread reach throughout the world, it wouldn't have the reputation
it did now and no one would even work there. Sure it made a lot of money, and sure it was a
popular choice for people to work for, but it treated its employees like shit.
Finally, the kids piled into Yoo Joonghyuk's car, all three of them sitting in the backseat as he
drove them home, grumbling in his head about this guardian of theirs. 'Bihyung' or something was
it? He hadn't even sent someone responsible to hand the kids over? It could have been anyone
impersonating Yoo Joonghyuk and kidnapping the kids and this man would be none the wiser.
And do people just send kids over to a stranger's house without even knowing them?
The kids went over a quick introduction in the car and thanked him for inviting them to dinner.
Mia asked him if they could stay over for the night and Yoo Joonghyuk said they would arrange it
some other time.
"Why? It's not like your ahjussi is going to be back home anyway," Mia said when Shin Yoosung
agreed that they had to return home in the evening.
"Ahjussi'll be worried," Shin Yoosung was such a sweet child.
"So will Donghoon hyung," Lee Gilyoung said. "He gets nervous when the house is empty for a
long time."
"Han Donghoon is another kid that ahjussi collected," Mia said for Yoo Joonghyuk's convenience.
"Ah," she said suddenly. "Did you know, my Oppa thinks that squid Ahjussi's trying to trick you so
that he can do bad things to you later?"
Mia. . .Why would she say it like that? Then again, Yoo Joonghyuk couldn't blame her. At least,
the main question had been asked.
The two kids set up an uproar. Yoo Joonghyuk had not expected that.
"What? No!" Shin Yoosung cried. "Ahjussi is not like that!"
"Hah?! What did you say, you sooty bastard?!" Lee Gilyoung bellowed. A very visceral reaction.
"Say that again! How dare you?"
Yoo Joonghyuk sure got a lot of hate, sure a lot of people had derogatory comments to say to him,
but this was the first time he had been called a bastard by a literal eleven-year-old.
The shock was still sinking in when Mia screamed, "Hey, you take that back! Don't talk to my oppa
like that!"
"What? He insulted Hyung first," Lee Gilyoung fired back. "Would you keep quiet if someone said
your oppa was a bad person?"
Mia didn't have anything to say to that. "Still," she managed to fire back, her voice dropping
slightly. "Oppa was only worried for you. Say sorry."
"Yeah, Lee Gilyoung, you better say sorry," Shin Yoosung said sharply. "Have some manners.
Ahjussi will be so disappointed if he finds out that you act like this in public."
"No, he won't," Lee Gilyoung said with the confidence of thousand-year-old mountains. "Hyung'll
understand. Besides, he'll like me better because I defended his honour."
Yoo Joonghyuk wondered if that irresponsible man knew just how much these kids were ready to
fight for him. Either, Yoo Joonghyuk had been wrong, or that bastard had brainwashed these kids
completely. It could be a very bad case of Stockholm syndrome.
"While you," Lee Gilyoung said with venom in his voice. "Took the side of this sooty bastard who
insulted Hyung without even knowing him."
Through the reflection in the rearview mirror, Yoo Joonghyuk could see that this had hurt Shin
Yoosung.
"I dare you to say that again, bug boy," Shin Yoosung snarled, her previous polite demeanour
breaking down. "I'll rip you apart. Get here."
"Try me, you dirty mutt!" Lee Gilyoung yelled back.
And now he understood what Mia had meant by these two fighting a lot. He had been expecting
shoves and pinches, petty arguments and crying. Not whatever this was. The kids were threatening
to maim each other while physically readying themselves for a fight in the back of the car.
Yoo Joonghyuk thought they would have done that, if Mia hadn't been sitting between them,
thankfully making a little space between the two feral children.
To Joonghyuk's increasing worries, Mia looked very entertained by this fight than anything.
Oh, god. . .Was it a good thing? He was happy that Mia had made good friends, but he didn't want
them to be bad influences on her.
Lee Gilyoung certainly hated him now. He only reluctantly admitted that Yoo Joonghyuk's food
might be somewhat passable and that it made it a bit shitty because a sooty bastard made it. Mia
almost snapped back, but Shin Yoosung got there faster and slapped Gilyoung on the back of his
head.
"Stop lying you, filthy insect," Shin Yoosung snarled. "Stop lying through your teeth. You are
making Ahjussi look bad."
Yoo Joonghyuk wondered if eleven-year-olds normally spoke like that. Mia didn't speak like that.
The two of them started punching and kicking at each other at the table, which soon escalated into
pinching and scratching.
Mia had been a reasonably well-behaved child. He did not know how to handle this.
"Ahjussi will be mad if he sees you two hurt each other," Mia said calmly and the two kids froze.
They separated and went back to eating as though nothing had happened.
Wow. . .Is that all it took?
Shin Yoosung even asked Yoo Joonghyuk if he had some medicine for the bruises they had caused
each other because apparently, their Ahjussi got really sad when they hurt each other like that and
ended up with bruises and wounds.
He was also apparently abroad for the week and they didn't want him to see their injuries when he
returned.
"Ahjussi is very busy at work," Yoosung said. "His company is buying another company I think."
"It's a merger," Lee Gilyoung provided grudgingly.
"You don't even know what a merger is."
"And you do?"
"At least I don't pretend to know more than I actually do."
Yoo Joonghyuk had mastered the art of drowning out unnecessary background noise, allowing him
to focus on his mind a long time ago.
Speaking of mergers, Yoo Joonghyuk's gaming company was going through a merger as well. It
wasn't an easy time, a behemoth of a foreign corporation had been sweeping up the South Korean
game companies for whatever reason and finally theirs fell under their radar and was going under a
new head. They called it a merger to appease the government and the public, but it was basically a
takeover.
Sometimes Yoo Joonghyuk regretted taking the offer a couple of years back to be one of the
executive shareholders. He hated all those shitty emails he kept getting. And the other executives
didn't like him anyway, since he wasn't from a business background and was literally just a pro
gamer who made it big. He had thought it would just be a good investment for the future when he
eventually retires from the e-gaming scene. It wasn't like he had a lot to fall back on anyway.
Shin Yoosung told him about how she met the Ahjussi to quell Yoo Joonghyuk's worries. She
seemed disappointed in Yoo Joonghyuk at his assumption but wasn't as hostile as Lee Gilyoung.
She was very calm and reasonable about it, unlike Lee Gilyoung who was ready to take on Yoo
Joonghyuk in an actual fight.
Shin Yoosung's was a sad story.
Her parents had been the absolute worst and if Ahjussi hadn't found her, she would have died of
malnutrition and hypothermia. Ahjussi took her in, but then her parents came back, looking for
her.
"They were just trying to get money," Shin Yoosung said, sounding rather disgusted by her own
parents. "At first, Ahjussi said okay and gave them a lot of money. But they kept coming back."
"Donghoon Hyung managed to get some dirt on them. He's good with computers," Gilyoung said.
"Don't interrupt my story," Shin Yoosung hissed at him. Then she cleared her throat and continued
with her tale.
Anyway, finally, her Ahjussi took the incident to court and fought for her custody. It was still not
made official because of a lot of complications, but she was waiting for the day her Ahjussi would
finally adopt her.
"Then I and Biyoo would become real sisters," she said brightly.
"Biyoo is Ahjussi's daughter," Mia told him. "She's tiny. Only three years old."
"Hyung's had her since she was a baby and she's officially adopted," Gilyoung said.
Just how many kids did this man have? It made sense, why Mia had said this man liked to 'collect'
kids. Did he just go around, looking for helpless kids and take them in or something?
Lee Gilyoung, Shin Yoosung, a Han Donghoon and finally a Biyoo.
Shin Yoosung asked Gilyoung to share his story as well, so that Mia's Oppa wouldn't
misunderstand Ahjussi and Gilyoung could finally prove the Sooty Bastard wrong and defend his
Hyung's honor.
Gilyoung's story was no better. He lived with his mother, she was incredibly abusive until she got
passed away one day, and his Hyung who had been there to see this whole thing took him in and
took care of everything.
Did people just happen to run into abandoned children from broken families every now and then or
something?
Then Yoo Joonghyuk supposed people get lucky. Just like how he had gotten lucky and Namgung
Minyoung found him and took him in.
"Namwoon Hyung stays over too," Gilyoung was saying and Yoo Joonghyuk broke out of his
reverie.
"It's our Namwoon, Oppa," Mia said.
"Kim Namwoon?" Yoo Joonghyuk said, surprised. "Your guardian knows Kim Namwoon?"
"Yeah, he technically lives with us," Gilyoung said, still glaring at Yoo Joonghyuk. "He thinks you
are impressive. I'm going to tell him you're not that great."
Yoo Joonghyuk couldn't have cared less about that. Why hadn't he ever known that Kim Namwoon
knew this ahjussi?
The next time he met with his team, Yoo Joonghyuk brought the topic up.
"Our Yoosung-ie?" Namwoon had said. "Yeah, I know her. What about that kid?"
"Do you know a Lee Gilyoung? And Han Donghoon," Yoo Joonghyuk said.
"Yeah, what about those kids, captain?" Kim Namwoon asked, looking up from the monitor. Kim
Namwoon, nineteen, still as chuuni as the day Yoo Joonghyuk had met him, now having bleached
his hair white, the bandages around his arms still present, swirled around in his chair to stare at
Yoo Joonghyuk.
Yoo Joonghyuk thought he looked strangely concerned. So he did care about the kids.
"This guardian, you know him?" Yoo Joonghyuk said.
"Oh, that guy? Yeah," Namwoon said turning back to his monitor. "Don't worry about him. He's a
bit weird, but he's fine."
"He's acting all tsundere, Master," Lee Jihye called from the other side of the room where she was
tapping away at the keyboard killing monsters in the game she was playing.
"He actually thinks that gloomy Ahjussi's pretty cool."
"No, I don't!" Namwoon snapped back. "He's just stupid. I think he's entertaining."
"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Jihye said smirking condescendingly.
"You know him as well?" Yoo Joonghyuk questioned.
"Oh, yeah, I've been to his place a few times," Lee Jihye admitted. "Kim Namwoon was talking
about him so much that I got curious."
Yoo Joonghyuk decided he should pay more attention to the idle chatter his teammates made. He
was the captain of the team and he didn't even know that everyone seemed to know this suspicious
guy.
"He is not a bad man, Joonghyuk-ssi," Even Lee Hyunsung said.
"You too?"
"Ah, yes, we met a while back when I was in the Military," Hyunsung said sheepishly. "He was the
one who convinced me to take up gaming again. He's a good man."
Yoo Joonghyuk might have doubted the kids' opinions about this man. Even Kim Namwoon and
Lee Jihye, though older than the kids, were still teenagers and could be tricked.
But he trusted Lee Hyunsung's opinion.
Lee Hyunsung might be a little too innocent and naive, but he was instinctively a good judge of
character. If he said the man was fine, then he probably was.
And his team spoke about this 'man' they all seemed to know and like.
Lee Jihye was right, Kim Namwoon did think this guy was cool, even if he called him Subway
Grasshopper Hyung.
It was mostly because of the way they had met for the first time, in the subway. They had been
riding in the same cabin and a man with a knife stepped in, threatening everyone, even killing a
woman in cold blood.
So this man grabbed a box of insects from a child sitting nearby and knocked the criminal out by
throwing the box at him.
Namwoon grumbled a lot about how his chance to shine was gone and all, but they could all see
the admiration in his eyes.
"He's got like gigantic eyebags," Lee Jihye said. "Workaholic if I've ever seen one."
"He's just a very hard-working man," Hyunsung tried salvaging it, but couldn't. "But I do wish he
would rest sometimes."
"Master, did you know Mia calls him Squid Ahjussi?" Lee Jihye said brightly. "You should see his
face every time she calls him that. He thinks she's calling him ugly."
Mia had never mentioned anything about this man's appearance, so curious, Yoo Joonghyuk asked,
"Is he ugly?"
"Not really," Lee Jihye said. "He'd even look nice if he put in some effort. But every time I see him
he's just sleep deprived."
Then she paused and looked up at Yoo Joonghyuk sharply. Yoo Joonghyuk didn't want to know
what that glint in her eyes meant.
"Why is he called a squid then?" Yoo Joonghyuk decided to say instead.
The two teenagers told a story about how the kids had brought a very huge squid plushie to
surprise the man with and he'd gotten scared when he saw the thing. And Mia started calling him
'Scared-of-squids-ahjussi'. It shortened over time and became Squid ahjussi.
"He wasn't really scared," Lee Hyunsung chuckled. "He was entertaining the kids. He's just like
that."
"Yeah, he cares way too much, doesn't he?" Lee Jihye admitted. She seemed attached to this man
too. "You should hear Heewon Unnie talk about him."
So even Lee Hyunsung's girlfriend knew this man. Jung Heewon, a woman Yoo Joonghyuk only
knew by name was related to two members of his team. She taught Jihye kendo and was
Hyunsung's girlfriend.
Suspicion turned into interest very quickly.
Yoo Joonghyuk didn't know a lot about this man. Everyone seemed to say the same thing. Nice,
works a lot and helps strangers out.
He thought he would like to meet this man at least once. See what all the fuss was himself. He'd
probably be able to meet him when a parent-teacher meeting comes up at the kids' school. He was
bound to come there since he was their guardian, wasn't he?
Mia, Yoosung and Gilyoung became thick friends, to the point that they were very familiar with
each other's houses.
Though it was very strange that Yoo Joonghyuk always seemed to miss this elusive guardian of
theirs. When Yoo Joonghyuk tried to meet him when he went to pick up his sister, either the other
two would have already left a few moments earlier, or someone else would have come to pick them
up because the man was busy.
He had only managed to find out this man's name after a whole year. Some Kim.
The utter ridiculousness of the whole situation was very vexing, but there wasn't a lot Yoo
Joonghyuk could do about it.
Yoosung would come with pretty hairstyles that her Ahjussi had done for her. Gilyoung would
have sketchbooks in his bag with drawings of insects that he had done with his Hyung.
Yoosung and Gilyoung seemed to see the man as some brilliant star in the sky. And he didn't seem
all that bad either.
And Yoo Joonghyuk thought maybe he had judged the guy a bit too soon. He still didn't have a lot
to go by, but he would have liked to. This Kim seemed particularly interesting.
"Oppa," Mia called one evening when Yoo Joonghyuk had just gotten out of the bath, drying his
hair.
"Someone sent you a text," she said and Yoo Joonghyuk went to where she was lounging in the
living room.
Yoo Joonghyuk didn't think Mia was old enough to own her own phone yet, but since she didn't
want to be left out when her friends already had their own smartphones, Yoo Joonghyuk allowed
her to use his phone sometimes.
Mr Kim liked contacting his kids and them having their phones made things easier. Yoo
Joonghyuk supposed it made sense since he seemed to be abroad or working most of the time.
"Who is it?" he asked.
"Han Sooyoung," Mia read out and Yoo Joonghyuk closed his eyes wearily.
Of course. He did think the day had been going particularly well.
Over the years, Han Sooyoung had mellowed out just as he had, sure. But it still didn't stop her
from being annoying. She often messaged him; luckily her texts were more useful now and didn't
hold pointless curses and bullshit.
Yoo Joonghyuk leaned down to read the texts on the screen of the phone Mia was holding out.
They read it together. Yoo Joonghyuk didn't have a lot to hide from Mia, and it seemed that Mia
had already read the messages, seeing how the texts were sent more than ten minutes ago and were
all marked as seen.
Han Sooyoung was asking him to join a celebration party. She had apparently hit the jackpot with
some old web novel of hers which was now getting an anime adaptation and she was gathering up
all the people she knew and having dinner at a barbeque restaurant.
"Tell her I said no," Yoo Joonghyuk entrusted the task to his sister. She had been holding the
phone anyway. She did as asked and Han Sooyoung replied almost instantly.
'Don't be a killjoy'
"What's a killjoy?" Mia asked and Yoo Joonghyuk shrugged, he wasn't in the mood to explain. Mia
could find it on the internet herself anyway.
'It's not a lot of people

And you know most of them anyway
Lee Hyunsung and Jung Heewon will be there
And a few others
Just come and meet everyone
Are you still being a loser
Planning on staying lonely for the rest of your life
LOL'
Yoo Joonghyuk ignored it. He had been subjected to worse messages through the years, this wasn't
even enough to make him blink.
Yoo Mia didn't seem to think so though.
Mia kept bringing the get-together up at every chance she got, trying to convince Yoo Joonghyuk
to go at least once. She was really worried her brother would be all lonely.
His excuse of "I have you" seemed to have lost its previous charm.
Finally, Yoo Joonghyuk caved and decided he would go to the stupid meeting. And apparently, he
knew everyone there already.
When he texted his confirmation to Han Sooyoung, she seemed very pleased and added him to a
group chat with a lot of people. And he did seem to know most of these people, Lee Hyunsung,
Jung Heewon, Han Sooyoung, Lee Jihye, Kim Namwoon and even Lee Seolhwa.
Yoo Joonghyuk had kept in contact with Lee Seolhwa over the years. It was always good to have a
doctor to consult just in case Mia got sick.
He didn't bother reading the texts that were rolling in furiously. The four active members, Jung
Heewon, Lee Jihye, Han Sooyoung and Kim Namwoon were discussing the group chat's name and
kept changing it every two seconds, unable to reach an agreement. Yoo Joonghyuk was thankful
for the ones that kept silent and didn't bother him with this bullshit.
On the evening of the gathering, when he got ready to leave, Mia asked him if he wasn't going to
dress up a bit. He had been planning on wearing his usual all-black outfit.
Mia said he ought to change it a bit, so he decided he would put on a t-shirt instead of a turtleneck.
It was still black and Mia looked slightly disappointed but sent him off with a sigh.
She said she was going to play games with Shin Yoosung and Lee Gilyoung online. She hadn't
gotten to see her friends as much as she used to for the past few days because Mr Kim was back
and a little less busy and the kids were spending more time with him instead.
Apparently, Mr Kim was going out for the night for something and the three kids planned to play
online games together. Yoo Joonghyuk agreed to it. It wasn't a daily thing, and tomorrow was a
Sunday anyway. It wouldn't matter if Mia went to bed a little later than usual.
Han Sooyoung had picked a restaurant at some famous, bustling place to arrange the gathering. Of
course, that pretentious witch would do that.
Yoo Joonghyuk was already regretting his decision to say yes as he walked through the doors of
the restaurant.
Finding the rowdy party wasn't hard at all. He heard Han Sooyoung's raucous laugh and another
woman snapping at her. He saw Lee Hyunsung trying to calm them both down and failing. Even
Lee Seolhwa was there, just watching all the chaos.
"Oh, here's our Supreme Loser," Han Sooyoung said brightly when Yoo Joonghyuk approached
the table at the farthest end of the restaurant. The woman with long, dark hair snorted and Lee
Seolhwa looked rather amused.
Yoo Joonghyuk ignored Han Sooyoung pointedly and greeted the others instead.
"Hey, you bastard, you're here to congratulate me," Han Sooyoung scoffed, nibbling on some
appetizers that were sitting on the table. "You didn't bring anything? Stingy jerk."
"Were we supposed to bring something?" Lee Hyunsung cried, horrified because he hadn't thought
about that.
"We aren't getting this bitch anything, Hyunsung," the woman said and Yoo Joonghyuk supposed
this was Jung Heewon, judging by the way Hyunsung was sitting so close to her.
Yoo Joonghyuk took a seat at the end so that he could leave easily whenever he wanted.
"Why is that rat late?" Han Sooyoung was grumbling as Yoo Joonghyuk fixed his gaze on the
closed restaurant entrance he could see from where he sat.
"Try calling him, I'm hungry," Jung Heewon said and Yoo Joonghyuk understood that these people
were already quite familiar with each other. Except for Lee Seolhwa, she seemed new to the group.
"He said he's bringing a plus one, didn't he?" Jung Heewon said, sounding slightly excited.
"It's just going to be Yoo Sangah," Han Sooyoung scoffed. "Who else do you think he'll be
bringing?"
"True," Jung Heewon gave in and Han Sooyoung called the 'rat' she was waiting for.
"We are just waiting for two more people, Joonghyuk-ssi," Lee Hyunsung told him kindly as Han
Sooyoung pressed her phone to her ear.
"Honestly, what's the point if Kim Dokja isn't coming?" Jung Heewon grumbled. "I only came for
him."
Yoo Joonghyuk wondered why Hyunsung seemed to be fine with his girlfriend openly admitting
that she had come here only to meet a man. In fact, even he seemed eager to meet this man.
"To be honest, me as well," Lee Seolhwa said. That was a surprise.
"You know him?" Han Sooyoung said surprised, her phone detaching an inch from her ear.
"I met Dokja-ssi a while back," Lee Seolhwa said. "He helped me out when I got into a car crash."
"Oh, my, were you hurt?" Jung Heewon said, sitting up straighter in her seat.
"Ah, no, no, I was fine," Lee Seolhwa reassured them. "Some man had just rear-ended my car and
he got very threatening. Then Dokja-ssi stepped in and helped me settle it."
"I owe him one," Lee Seolhwa said with an apologetic smile. "I still feel bad because he almost got
hurt."
Jung Heewon scoffed, Han Sooyoung rolled her eyes and Lee Hyunsung let out a soft sigh.
"Of course, he got hurt," Jung Heewon said, Yoo Joonghyuk thought she looked a bit angry.
"How do you know Kim Dokja-ssi?" Lee Seolhwa asked and before anyone could answer her, Han
Sooyoung's call went through and she started scolding the person on the other end.
"Kim Dokja, you little rat bastard," Han Sooyoung snapped. "Are you even coming or are you still
holed up somewhere?"
"Dokja-ssi, you are going to shrivel up if you stay at home all the time," Jung Heewon called
loudly and there was the faint sound of a man laughing from the phone.
"How much longer?" Han Sooyoung asked. The man said something. "I'll gatekeep my next
chapter if you are late, I swear . . .Yeah, alright. Laters."
She hung up the phone and answered the people who were eagerly waiting to ask her when this
Kim Dokja person was finally arriving.
"He says he's stuck at the subway," Han Sooyoung told them. "The train stopped or something, so
they're running late. He says they'll be here soon."
"Good," Jung Heewon said savagely. "He's getting a talking to. That guy thinks he can just shut
everyone off for days and then pretend everything is alright."
"Why? Did he ghost you again?" Han Sooyoung said, smirking.
"You know how Dokja-ssi is," Hyunsung said kindly. "He just needs time sometimes."
"He can at least give a heads up before he vanishes," Jung Heewon said furiously. Then her
expression softened. "You might not know, Seolhwa-ssi, but there is a reason why we call him a rat
sometimes."
"Kim Dokja-ssi didn't seem like that when I met him," Seolhwa divulged. "He seemed very
cheerful and nice."
"Are we talking about the same guy?" Han Sooyoung snorted. "Hey, the dude's like thin, pale,
looks like a corpse. Has eyebags the size of the continent of Asia?"
"Narrow shoulders," Lee Hyunsung contributed. "I was always worried when Dokja-ssi held up a
gun."
"He might look frail but he can beat the shit out of people, don't worry," Jung Heewon patted her
boyfriend's arm.
"This guy?" Han Sooyoung said holding out her phone across the table to show a picture on the
screen.
"Yes," Seolhwa nodded eagerly. "That is the Kim Dokja-ssi I know."
"Cheerful, huh?" Han Sooyoung breathed through her nose, before pulling the phone back and
sitting down properly in her seat.
"Think again, Seolhwa-ssi," Jung Heewon sighed. "Did he ever contact you after you exchanged
contacts...You did exchange contacts, didn't you?"
Realization dawned on Seolhwa's face. "Oh, yes, we did that," she said slowly. "I said I would treat
him to a meal for helping me out, but he always brushed it away."
"Typical," Han Sooyoung drawled.
"He did the same to me," Jung Heewon said and by the sounds of it, Yoo Joonghyuk would have
thought this Kim Dokja had somehow scammed these people and not helped them out.
"I'm going to stick to that bastard like glue and drag him out if that's what it takes," Jung Heewon
said resolutely.
"I'll probably help you with it," Han Sooyoung agreed, propping up her elbow on the table and
resting her chin on her palm.
Jung Heewon spoke about how Kim Dokja had once rescued her from getting almost raped in some
dark alley by some scumbags who had drugged her drink. He had then taken her to the hospital and
made sure she was in contact with her family before he left and even helped her get revenge on
those evil motherfuckers.
Jung Heewon met Lee Hyunsung through this Kim Dokja.
Yoo Joonghyuk listened vaguely to the stories, sending a few texts checking up on Mia in between.
Han Sooyoung had ordered more appetizers when Mia finally scolded him for texting her and
asked him to go make some friends.
Yoo Joonghyuk switched his phone off and put it back in his pocket, then he crossed his arms.
It had been a while since he'd heard that name. Kim Dokja.
Years back, he would have reacted very badly to just hearing the name. It gradually reduced to a
little flinch, then to a frown and finally, now what he felt was complete indifference.
It had been a long time after all. It had been almost six years now and Yoo Joonghyuk had moved
on completely. He no longer felt his heart ache when he heard or thought about the man who had
been his first love.
Han Sooyoung was telling her story of having met Kim Dokja now. She said they'd met when they
were young on the internet and argued a lot until they eventually became friends. Han Sooyoung
even boasted the position of Kim Dokja's best friend.
Yoo Joonghyuk thought it was ridiculous how both Hyunsung and Heewon seemed to find this
news disappointing, like they had lost some kind of honourable chance to be this Kim Dokja's
closest friend.
Kim Dokja seemed a more common name than he'd thought.
After all, what were the chances that the Kim Dokja these people were talking about was the same
one he used to know?
Lee Hyunsung was talking about how he'd felt like he was talking to a close friend he had known
for a long time when he met Kim Dokja. Jung Heewon joked that perhaps they were actually
friends in another life. Hyunsung seemed to like that idea.
"It's fate," Han Sooyoung said and Lee Seolhwa giggled.
Yoo Joonghyuk thought it was a load of bull, but kept it to himself.
Yoo Joonghyuk did not believe in fate. He had once, when he was very naive, but he stopped it a
long time ago, simply because common sense was more of a reasonable explanation.
It just made much more sense to believe in logic, common sense and coincidences.
Things happened because of one's actions, not because some higher being or the universe had
divined it so. But he didn't think any of these people here would agree with his views on the
matter.
Lee Hyunsung said he had met the man during his time in the military. The man had probably been
understanding and talked to him, and so he became closer to him.
Jung Heewon was helped by this Kim Dokja, and she get closer to him due to her gratitude. So had
Lee Seolhwa in a similar manner.
Han Sooyoung seemed to know him through shared interests.
What was fate about it?
His belief was reasonable, it was true and he would stick to it.
It was not fate that he had met the menace called Han Sooyoung, they had known each other since
his last year of high school and university. Han Sooyoung had taken the initiative to annoy him out
of spite all these years and so she was still able to contact him after so long.
It was a conscious decision to give his phone to Mia, and the result was obvious when she forced
him to attend this meet-up.
It was only natural that all of Han Sooyoung's 'friends' knew each other. Pretty logical. People don't
meet a lot of people out of their proximity often, so naturally their social circles would overlap.
Yoo Joonghyuk's social circle was pretty small and Han Sooyoung, even though she liked to boast
and pretend she was better than everyone else, she didn't keep people she didn't like close to her.
"He says he's here," Han Sooyoung said, reading a text on her phone. Then she got up and turned
around to look at the door. Yoo Joonghyuk followed her gaze.
The glass door to the restaurant opened and the sounds of the rushing traffic entered their ears. A
pretty brunette walked in and smiled at the man accompanying her, who had been holding the door
open for her. The man let go of the door when he stepped in and the sounds from the outside were
shut out again.
The slender man in a black office suit had his head turned, talking to the woman beside him.
Yoo Joonghyuk's lips pursed. . .No way.
Then the man turned around and Yoo Joonghyuk froze.
He scanned the restaurant, quickly spotting Han Sooyoung who was waving at him. He smiled,
eyes turning into crescents fondly when he saw the others.
Then his eyes slid to Yoo Joonghyuk and he paused, his previous smile sliding off his face.
Wide, starry eyes met his and Yoo Joonghyuk felt all the air in his lungs get knocked out in an
instant.
Words that he had heard fall out of that man's lips a long, long time ago came to his mind
immediately.
They existed in this place, at this time, along with the people around them. What else was it but
fate?
This man, he was the only one who could make Yoo Joonghyuk doubt his beliefs.
'To exist at the same time as you, it's got to be fate'
Right.
Kim Dokja. The only one who could make Yoo Joonghyuk believe in something as stupid as fate.
That bastard.
Chapter End Notes
Hehheheh~
Chapter 13
Chapter Notes
The last 12 chapters were all in YJH's POV.

This one's a mixed POV one.
It should be pretty obvious so I won't mark it or anything. It's going to be
understandable, so chill
Happy reading.
Han Sooyoung had written a web novel ages ago, when she was a teenager. It gained traction in her
early twenties and it soon became a book with physical copies sold. It immediately became a best
seller and now, it was getting an animated adaptation.
The money she got from all this made her grin for days on end.
Kim Dokja was the first person she told and of course, he deserved to know. He had sat and edited
the whole book for her.
Han Sooyoung hadn't allowed the publishing company she was affiliated with to change any of the
editing that Kim Dokja had done. The book was published exactly as it went on the internet.
Han Sooyoung didn't trust her story to anyone but her characters and she knew no one could love
her characters as much as Kim Dokja did.
There was some trouble with the publication company because of that, so she bribed Kim Dokja
with something and got him to buy the company. So all was solved.
It was a big thing, her action-fantasy novel getting made into an anime. She thought she would
organize a small drinking party with her close associates.
Then her genius brain came up with a brilliant idea.
Jung Heewon had texted her to see if she had checked up on Kim Dokja recently. Han Sooyoung
sent her a snarky text back. If there was anyone in this world who wouldn't forget to check up on
Kim Dokja, it would be her.
Kim Dokja seemed to be falling into one of his slumps again, where he would just withdraw from
the world and work away as though it was the only thing he could do.
He did this often, sometimes he would read, and other times he worked. It became alarming when
it was neither of these and he stayed doing nothing at all; that meant danger.
She needed an excuse to drag Kim Dokja out of his new workplace; he was doing some bullshit
again. She had a good reason now.
Another thing she knew about Kim Dokja was that he has been hopelessly in love with a certain
Pro-gamer called Yoo Joonghyuk.
Yoo Joonghyuk was an asshole and Han Sooyoung did not want Kim Dokja around that bastard at
all.
But Kim Dokja had been hung up on him for ages. He never dated anyone even if she forced him
to go on blind dates. He didn't show interest in anyone even though Han Sooyoung had dragged
him to all the bars across town.
Kim Dokja didn't like drinking, but at least she would be able to get some sort of idea of the idiot's
preferences, which had been her reasoning to do so. . .Sure, Kim Dokja said he didn't have a
preference, but Han Sooyoung knew for a fact that he had a thing for men.
It was a bit of a bust, to be honest.
He'd been hit on by both men and women, but Kim Dokja was either oblivious as fuck or rejected
them straight out.
The only reaction he had shown was to a dancer wearing a Chinese dress with garters.
Han Sooyoung thought 'Eureka', but that hardly lasted a moment because Kim Dokja had the same
reaction to any person wearing a Chinese dress with garters and she realised it was a dress thing.
She was trying to find out his type, not his kinks, goddamnit!
She left that there. It wasn't fruitless though. She had discovered something incredible about herself
back there, so it was a win in some senses.
Han Sooyoung knew Yoo Joonghyuk, as in she knew him personally. They were more like
enemies, really, but what mattered is that she had his contact number and knew about his personal
life a lot more than most people.
She could have set him up with Kim Dokja, at least it would show Kim Dokja just how much of an
idiot he was being by crushing on that bastard.
She had even attempted this back when they were at university together. But Yoo Joonghyuk had
called Kim Dokja a loser and Han Sooyoung lost it.
Yeah, Kim Dokja was a loser, but only she had the right to call him that! Kim Dokja was a
wonderful man and Yoo Joonghyuk was losing a great opportunity by rejecting her offer.
Kim Dokja had a truckload of trauma, so much that it made her wonder what sort of tragic story
protagonist he was supposed to be.
And the poor guy, as if he hadn't had enough, had sort of given up on love after a big incident back
when they were in college. There was only one person, other than Yoo Joonghyuk that Kim Dokja
had been in love with. Han Sooyoung wasn't sure if his obsession with Supreme King, Yoo
Joonghyuk had started after his heartbreak or if it had been there before.
Bottom line was, Kim Dokja needed to see just how shitty Yoo Joonghyuk was, to either think it
was his type and give him a chance or give up on him and try to do something better with life.
That brought Han Sooyoung to the next step in her brilliant plan. She would convince Yoo
Joonghyuk to come to her congratulatory party . . .Ah, they'll have to go outside for that then. Oh,
well, who cared?
She set to work. She called all the people she knew, their little group, all somehow revolving
around Kim Dokja. . .And she called Lee Seolhwa as a joke.
She knew that Lee Seolhwa was Yoo Joonghyuk's ex-girlfriend. She just wanted to see the
dumbass squirm awkwardly around his ex.
The only reason she had gotten Lee Seolhwa's contact number was that she had searched for the
woman to give information to Kim Dokja. Then she found out that they had gone to the same high
school, and oh, look, a conversation starter!
D-day, Han Sooyoung was very giddy. Would Kim Dokja jump to his feet and ask for Yoo
Joonghyuk's autograph the second he saw him? Or would he blush and stutter and make a fool out
of himself?
She had been hoping that as an appetizer, she could see Yoo Joonghyuk being uncomfortable, but
sadly he seemed to be on good terms with Lee Seolhwa. Shame.
Well, she still had the main course.
Kim Dokja came along with Yoo Sangah. Expected.
He saw Yoo Joonghyuk and froze. Han Sooyoung smirked.
But her smirk soon slid off her face because this was a very strange reaction from Kim Dokja. He
looked horrified.
Oh, shit, did she trigger a panic attack or something? Was Yoo Joonghyuk glaring at Kim Dokja,
scaring the shit out of him or something?
She whipped her head around to snap at Yoo Joonghyuk to drop it and her mouth fell open when
she saw Yoo Joonghyuk's reaction.
Excuse me, what?
She seemed to be missing something big here.
Kim Dokja looked like might just start crying and Yoo Joonghyuk stared at the man as though an
alien had just walked in.
. . .Hey. . .When were they going to break the eye contact? What's this? What's this massive cringe
vibe these two idiots were creating right now, in front of her chicken?!
"Oi, Kim Dokja," she snapped and Kim Dokja turned to look at her with a little jump. "Aren't you
going to sit?"
Everyone but Yoo Joonghyuk moved around, Kim Dokja and Yoo Sangah shuffled into the space
the others made for them. Han Sooyoung went to drag a separate chair so that she could sit at one
end of the table.
"Since I'm the king today," she said, her canines showing as she grinned.
Kim Dokja was sandwiched between Jung Heewon and Yoo Sangah. Lee Hyunsung sat opposite
Jung Heewon on the other side of the table, next to Lee Seolhwa, and beside her was Yoo
Joonghyuk.
"Alright," Han Sooyoung said clapping her hands before everyone could bombard Kim Dokja with
questions. "You can all present your gifts now."
They stared at her blankly, then Jung Heewon moved first. She got to her feet and leant over the
table towards Han Sooyoung's direction. She clasped her hands together and extended them in front
of Han Sooyoung.
"Your majesty," she said bowing a little. She wrung her hands, rubbing her fingers and palms and
then snapped up her middle fingers. "Fuck you."
And she sat down.
Sniggers broke at the table and Han Sooyoung threw a toothpick at Jung Heewon who was
thanking everyone for the applause for her brilliant performance.
Han Sooyoung looked like she was seething, but Lee Seolhwa noticed that she wasn't really angry
even though this was a situation that would usually make people angry.
"Kim Dokja," Han Sooyoung said and everyone turned to look at the man in question. "What did
you get me?"
Kim Dokja smiled genially, it somehow felt cheeky. "Check your messages," he said simply.
"I've been checking my messages all this time," Han Sooyoung grumbled, but took her phone out
anyway and unlocked it, swiping through her texts. "There's nothi . . ."
Han Sooyoung trailed away, her eyes widening. She seemed stunned for a few seconds before her
lips stretched across her face, making her look much more like a cat than she usually did.
"Yooo, Kim Dokja, no takebacks, okay?" she said, her eyes shining at whatever she was seeing on
the screen.
"What is it?" Yoo Sangah, the only person Lee Seolhwa didn't know in the group asked and Han
Sooyoung titled the screen for the brunette to see.
Surprise flashed across her face before it fell.
"Dokja-ssi," Yoo Sangah said in exasperation looking at the man beside her. "Why again? It's the
third one now."
Kim Dokja gave her an apologetic smile. "I got her only one, Sangah-ssi."
"I'm keeping this baby," Han Sooyoung was giggling to herself.
"I expect something back in return, Han Sooyoung," Kim Dokja reminded her and Han Sooyoung
sneered at him.
"I'm writing a shitty story for you, take it or leave it," Han Sooyoung said waspishly.
"I'll key your baby then," Kim Dokja said without missing a beat and Han Sooyoung looked
scandalized.
"You bastard," she gasped out loud. "You wouldn't."
Kim Dokja's smile looked pretty ominous and Han Sooyoung seemed to grudgingly agree that
she'd write him a stupid chapter or something along the lines.
"Hey, show it here," Jung Heewon demanded and leaned over to yank Han Sooyoung's phone out
of her hands, but Han Sooyoung was faster and tugged her phone backwards.
"Fuck you too, bitch," Han Sooyoung hissed.
Though they used pretty vulgar language, Lee Seolhwa couldn't notice any malice in them. In fact,
the chaotic atmosphere around them was very comforting somehow, it gave a strange sense of
security for some reason.
"Dokja-ssi, what did you get her?" Jung Heewon turned to ask Kim Dokja again.
"Ah, just. . .well," he unlocked the phone he had been holding, opened something and passed it to
Jung Heewon who looked very annoyed.
"You keep doing this and that's why her ego's through the fucking roof," Jung Heewon scolded.
"She's shit at driving and crashes as soon as she's out on the road."
"You won't complain when I gift you one, will you?" Kim Dokja chuckled.
"I don't want a stupid car!" Jung Heewon scoffed. "Get me a nice sword."
"If that's what you want, Heewon-ssi," Kim Dokja said and he got hit by Jung Heewon for that.
"How many times do we have to tell you?" Jung Heewon scolded, slapping his back. "Why do you
keep giving people things? You shouldn't do that!"
"No, no, keep doing that," Han Sooyoung interjected. "Keep giving me stuff."
"You shut up, you money-grubbing gremlin," Jung Heewon shot back.
"At least I make money," Han Sooyoung scoffed.
Lee Seolhwa was having some trouble processing this. Did Kim Dokja-ssi just get Han Sooyoung a
whole car as a gift for her novel getting animated?
She looked at the man sitting opposite her. He was dressed like every other office worker on the
streets, but he was actually rich? Kim Dokja-ssi seemed to be the kind of person who didn't like to
flaunt his wealth in public, but was fine with using it for his friends, Lee Seolhwa noted.
It sort of made sense now, why this group was soothing. None of them were using each other, nor
did they hold hatred or envy the others. Jung Heewon's reaction seemed to make sense now. They
were like a little family of misfits that had come together.
Okay, breathe, Yoo Joonghyuk told himself.

He had moved on. He had moved on ages ago. He shouldn't be panicking.
No, he was not panicking. He was just surprised. He hadn't been expecting their Kim Dokja to be
his Kim Dokja—Not his his, but his in the sense that he used to know him.
Yoo Joonghyuk was steeling himself. So this was how people felt when they saw their exes after
years. Though they weren't anything official, Kim Dokja, in a sense was Yoo Joonghyuk's ex.
He let out a sigh, so controlled that it might have just been another breath.
He had moved on. Yes. Kim Dokja didn't matter anymore. He didn't feel anything for him now.
He moved his eyes from the restaurant door he was staring at and looked at Kim Dokja who was
on the other side of the table.
He was clutching his back in pain where Jung Heewon had hit him a few seconds ago for doing
something. Yoo Joonghyuk wasn't exactly sure what it had been, he wasn't listening.
He was busy having an existential crisis.
He focused his gaze on Kim Dokja.
He looked thinner now. His hair needed a haircut, falling to his eyes. He was still pale, not the
healthy kind though. A sickly kind and Han Sooyoung's description of him didn't seem like an
exaggeration anymore. He did have eyebags.
Grudgingly Yoo Joonghyuk admitted that even after all this, it didn't make Kim Dokja look any
less beautiful. He just looked like those no-make-up photographs of tired idols sleeping on flights.
So what? It didn't matter if Kim Dokja looked attractive or anything. Lee Seolhwa was also
incredibly good looking and she was his actual ex. He didn't feel anything about it. He didn't feel
anything for Kim Dokja now.
Yes, that was true. Yoo Joonghyuk could look at him without feeling anything. . .Okay, maybe not
anything. He did feel bitter.
He was feeling very petty. He thought he had matured and gotten over such silly feelings, but it
seemed that he wanted to get his petty revenge.
He was watching Kim Dokja, waiting for him to say something so that he could start a fight with
him.
A part of his brain said that he was being incredibly childish for a twenty-nine-year-old man. The
other part said, fuck that, Kim Dokja needs to get punched and if Yoo Joonghyuk couldn't do it
physically, he'd find some other way to do it.
The food they ordered came to their table very quickly and Yoo Joonghyuk was still waiting for
Kim Dokja to acknowledge the elephant in the room. . .the elephant, according to Yoo Joonghyuk,
that is.
Lee Seolhwa was talking animatedly to Kim Dokja.
"Dokja-ssi, I am very upset," she was saying tartly. "I just wanted to thank you. Is it so hard to let
me do that?"
"Ah, Seolhwa-ssi, there is no need for that," Kim Dokja chuckled sheepishly. "I just did what
anyone else would have done."
"Out of everyone watching on that afternoon, you were the only one who helped, Dokja-ssi,"
Seolhwa deadpanned.
"Just say you're welcome when someone says thank you," Jung Heewon snorted. "And if someone
says they'll treat you say 'Ah, then I'll enjoy my meal'."
"Dumbass," Han Sooyoung provided unhelpfully.
Kim Dokja seemed to still have the habit of helping others indiscriminately. And after all the
stories Yoo Joonghyuk had just heard from the others wondered if he something was wrong with
Kim Dokja. Are people normally like that?
To be honest, Yoo Joonghyuk couldn't tell what was happening. It was a gathering to congratulate
Han Sooyoung on her novel getting an animated adaptation, so why was everyone crowding
around Kim Dokja?
Okay, so he could understand, having heard all their experiences why they considered Kim Dokja
more important than Han Sooyoung, but wasn't this just a bit too much?
"Dokja-ssi, aren't you going to eat?" the woman next to Kim Dokja said.
"Kim Dokja-ssi, is there anything you can't eat? Any allergies?" Lee Seolhwa asked.
"Ah, your glass is empty," Lee Hyunsung said and filled Kim Dokja's glass.
"Dokja-ssi, if I hear that you're cooping up in your house I'll come and kick your door down if I
have to," Jung Heewon was saying.
"Kim Dokja, did you even go to sleep last night?" Han Sooyoung chided. "I see you online at three
in the morning, and you're still there when I check it at three in the afternoon."
Kim Dokja answered and reassured all the questions without getting annoyed in the least.
"Joonghyuk-ssi."
Yoo Joonghyuk turned to look at Lee Seolhwa sharply. He hadn't been expecting anyone to talk to
him. He didn't have a lot of expectations for Han Sooyoung and he supposed they would be
ignoring him for the rest of the time.
"Since you don't eat anything made by others," she said, handing him a pair of tongs.
"Thank you," Yoo Joonghyuk muttered, reminding himself that he shouldn't make it too obvious.
He thought he felt someone's eyes on him, but when he looked up from the tongs in his hands,
everyone was still focused on Kim Dokja.
His eyes fell on the woman sitting beside Kim Dokja. The one he had walked in with. Wasn't she
sitting a bit too close to him?
Yoo Joonghyuk wasn't particularly jealous. He just wanted his somewhat-ex to be unhappy. His
being in a happy relationship soured his mood.
Introductions started across the table. Most people knew each other and it was just Lee Seolhwa
and Yoo Joonghyuk who had to introduce themselves. . .And that woman.
"I've heard a lot about you, Yoo Joonghyuk-ssi," the woman said.
Yoo Sangah, he knew her name now.
She was Kim Dokja's coworker and they occasionally take the subway together. Han Sooyoung
had apparently tasked Kim Dokja to bring a plus one with him and he brought Yoo Sangah.
Kim Dokja still spoke a lot, Yoo Joonghyuk noticed. He looked slightly overwhelmed by all the
attention, though.
He could just tell them to stop if he disliked it. Damn bastard.
Yoo Joonghyuk focused on grilling the meat for himself. The others were grown adults, they could
feed themselves. Maybe he would give a few pieces to Lee Seolhwa because she had passed him
the tongs earlier.
The drinks were ordered.
Yoo Sangah said she was a heavy drinker and offered to drink for Kim Dokja if it got too difficult
for him. Kim Dokja refused and said he wasn't planning on drinking anyway.
Is this how people flirted these days? It was disgusting to watch.
Han Sooyoung kept cackling every now and then. They weren't really sure if it was because of the
soju, or if she was crazy. Yoo Joonghyuk would vote for the latter option.
Twenty minutes passed and Kim Dokja pretended he was part of the restaurant's decor. It was
pissing Yoo Joonghyuk off.
He was creating all sorts of situations in his head where Kim Dokja would start with, "It's been a
while, Joonghyuk-ah" and acknowledge their past. Or maybe he would say, "Long time no see,
Yoo Joonghyuk-ssi" and pretend he was nothing more than a roommate.
Yoo Joonghyuk hadn't felt this pathetic in a long while.
Life was going well. Life was going very well for him actually. So why did it have to happen now?
Why ruin his peaceful life now?
They were talking about Kim Dokja's work life now.
"How much longer?" Jung Heewon asked.
"Four months or so," Kim Dokja said casually.
"I suppose you can afford to be carefree," Jung Heewon finally sighed. Lee Hyunsung seemed to
admire this confident side of Kim Dokja.
"If you don't mind me asking, do you have any plans after your contract period ends, Kim Dokja-
ssi?" Lee Seolhwa asked, slightly worried because Kim Dokja had just announced that he would be
jobless in four months.
"Don't worry about this idiot," Han Sooyoung told the doctor. "He'll manage easily."
"He's got a side stream of income," Jung Heewon said because Han Sooyoung wouldn't have
explained. "He's an editor."
Yoo Joonghyuk learnt that conditioned responses can't be removed even after years. The second he
heard that Kim Dokja was an editor, he instantly updated it to the old list in his head.
"An editor?"
"Yeah, that bastard's the one who edited my novel. The one that's getting the anime. You didn't
think I wouldn't invite my own editor to my party, did you?"
"You don't pay me though?"
"I pay you with stories. You live on stories."
Kim Dokja laughed, "I guess I do."
The conversation dulled for hardly three minutes before Jung Heewon started.
"Hey, I've been meaning to ask you this for a while now," she said. "Why're you glaring at Dokja-
ssi?"
Yoo Joonghyuk realised that he was the one being subjected to the question. Jung Heewon had
tilted her body slightly towards Kim Dokja, as though protecting him.
Protecting him from what? Yoo Joonghyuk?

Ha! Yoo Joonghyuk was the one who needed protection from the demon called Kim Dokja.
Kim Dokja had flinched slightly when Jung Heewon asked the question and this action was not
missed by the woman. Han Sooyoung sighed heavily as a fire burned behind Jung Heewon's eyes.
Kim Dokja, that bastard. . .He was planning on giving him the silent treatment, huh? He was
planning on acting like Yoo Joonghyuk didn't exist and even though Yoo Joonghyuk would have
liked to pick a fight with him, he was going to let it slide.
He wouldn't meet Kim Dokja ever again after this night.
He hated the bitter taste in his mouth when he realised that. He ignored it.
He wouldn't go to any of the things Han Sooyoung called him to ever again. He would leave that
stupid group chat. He would even cut off everyone who tried to force him to meet Kim Dokja
again.
Fuck this.
Kim Dokja better take responsibility.
"Kim Dokja," Yoo Joonghyuk called and Kim Dokja looked up sharply, like he was a child being
scolded. When his eyes met his, Yoo Joonghyuk felt his heartbeat stutter and he hated himself for
that.
"Explain," he said shortly and left it at that.
Now, let's see what Kim Dokja does in this situation.
"You two—Did you know each other before this?" Lee Seolhwa said and Kim Dokja's eyes moved
away from him onto her.
Yoo Joonghyuk was watching all of Kim Dokja's reactions. He seemed very different from how he
had been back then. . .He was still the sly bastard. He just seemed to have softened up a bit.
Or maybe Yoo Joonghyuk had just become sharper.
Kim Dokja glanced between Lee Seolhwa and him and then he smiled.
A fake smile, Yoo Joonghyuk recognised easily.
"We used to know each other when we were at college," Kim Dokja said. "We were actually
roommates for a while."
Yoo Joonghyuk tuned out whatever the others were saying.
It could be summarized so easily. They used to be roommates for a while. It was technically true.
He couldn't bring himself to say anything.
"You knew this loser?" Han Sooyoung said jerking a thumb at Yoo Joonghyuk's direction. "When
we were at uni?"
Yoo Joonghyuk wondered what would happen if he just declared 'We used to fuck' to the table. But
that would ruin his reputation, so he would keep quiet.
"A bit," Kim Dokja's voice said when Yoo Joonghyuk returned to grilling the meat.
"Why are you two acting like this then?" Jung Heewon asked.
"Haha, about that. I think we had a bit of a disagreement and sort of fought?" Kim Dokja said, as
though he was uncertain of the whole thing himself.
He was lying, and Yoo Joonghyuk caught it. Kim Dokja had a certain demeanour when he lied to
reassure someone.
"Wow, how many years ago was that? Are you still fighting? Did you do something bad, Dokja-
ssi?" Jung Heewon teased. "Do you owe him money or something?"
"Why do you think that?" Kim Dokja said, sounding slightly offended. "I don't think we're still
fighting. It is just a bit awkward."
Yoo Joonghyuk piled the cooked meat onto Lee Seolhwa's plate just to distract himself. His hands
were itching to grab Kim Dokja by the collar and shake him until he admitted all his faults right
there.
He made it sound so easy.
To reduce all his feelings to just 'a bit awkward'. Yeah, only Kim Dokja could do that. To reduce
all that he had felt to 'a misunderstanding'. . . He was going off track again.
Han Sooyoung understood Kim Dokja the best. She knew it, Kim Dokja knew it, and every person
they were acquainted with knew it.
So when she looked at Kim Dokja's strange behaviour, she felt a strange tingle in her mind, the
kind she had when she figured out a particularly annoying pothole in her story.
Yoo Joonghyuk was also acting very weird. That loser was socially inept, yeah, but he wasn't this
bad.
Then she heard Kim Dokja's explanation. . .Roommates? Kim Dokja had only ever had one
roommate back during college.
All the bits and pieces of the story came together in Han Sooyoung's head and it clicked.
No way.
No fucking way.
Kim Dokja had come to her one night, requesting her to let him stay just the night and that he didn't
have anywhere else to go at the moment. So Han Sooyoung let him.
Kim Dokja had been in the worst shape she'd ever seen him. The man had actually been crying.
Even thinking about that night made Han Sooyoung feel uncomfortable.
When he finally calmed down two days later, he let her in on what had happened. Kim Dokja's
roommate, the one he was friends with benefits had confessed and Kim Dokja who had always
been in love with the man ran.
At that time Han Sooyoung didn't really understand, but a few years later she figured it out
somewhat.
Kim Dokja had a habit of watching all of Supreme King's videos. He would drop everything if he
could and watch the pro gamer's live streams. He didn't look at the man behind the screen with the
admiration normal people had when they looked at celebrities, Han Sooyoung noticed. It was a
very miserably fond look.
Han Sooyoung had always assumed it was some weird way of Kim Dokja coping.
Yoo Joonghyuk used to be Kim Dokja's roommate.
A lot of things made sense now.
Oh, fuck.
No, no, she could still salvage this. As long as Kim Dokja didn't piss Yoo Joonghyuk off, and as
long as Yoo Joonghyuk didn't make Kim Dokja lose control, it would be fine.
What the fuck? Suddenly she found she knew a lot of things about Yoo Joonghyuk she would
rather not know.
The image of Yoo Joonghyuk she had in her mind suddenly collided with Kim Dokja's pitiful
roommate. And it felt very wrong.
It felt like her characters were suddenly acting very OOC.
She remembered trying to get Yoo Joonghyuk to meet up with Kim Dokja a while after the whole
roommate fiasco. She didn't know if she should be thankful that Yoo Joonghyuk hadn't agreed to
her proposition.
Of course, she hadn't told him that it was Kim Dokja she was talking about it. She didn't even
know that they knew each other until a few minutes ago.
She remembered herself yelling at Yoo Joonghyuk, "Whatever you say, you fucking asshole.
You're missing out on a great opportunity. You'll regret this for the rest of your life, I'll tell you that
much."
Did she somehow curse the man?
Han Sooyoung was worried. She didn't know how Kim Dokja would react. He was way too good
at hiding what he was feeling and bottling it all up until it exploded disastrously one day.
She had to do something.
"Okay, cool, great," Han Sooyoung said loudly. "You guys are ruining the vibe here. Can you
not?"
She let out a dramatic groan.
"Kim Dokja show me a picture of the little furball and I'll forgive you," she said.
Kim Dokja immediately relaxed at the mention of Biyoo.
"I would like to see too, Dokja-ssi," Lee Hyunsung said. Well done, man!
"I haven't seen her in a while, after all."
"It feels like your soul's cleansed whenever you look at that angel," Jung Heewon agreed.
"It really does," Kim Dokja said smiling and taking his phone out.
"Who are you talking about?" Lee Seolhwa asked. . .She should not have invited Lee Seolhwa. She
was cool and all, but this was not the ideal situation.
And did Yoo Joonghyuk still have feelings for her? Why was he giving her food? There was like a
mountain of meat on her plate now. Hey, there are others here!
"Ah, my daughter," Kim Dokja said brightly holding up his phone so that everyone could see four-
year-old Biyoo in a furry white onesie with a little yellow horn sticking out from the top of the
hood.
Everyone cooed loudly.
Han Sooyoung would have too if she hadn't seen Yoo Joonghyuk's reaction to Kim Dokja's grand
reveal.
Oh. . .OH!
"Oh, my fucking god," Han Sooyoung groaned, burying her face in her hands.
No fucking way.
There's no way Yoo Joonghyuk was still hung up on Kim Dokja. No, just no way. Especially
knowing that guy's personality. . .Did he just fall for Kim Dokja all over again right now or
something?
God, stop looking like a kicked puppy you dumb loser!
Han Sooyoung wanted to go back in time and kick her younger self who thought this was a good
idea. This had ruined her entire dinner.
These two sons of bitches!
"Just looking at her is instant therapy," Jung Heewon said grinning.
"Sometimes I look at her pictures when it gets too stressful at the office," Yoo Sangah said
seriously.
"I should do that too sometimes," Lee Hyunsung noted it down.
"Seolhwa-ssi, you're in the group chat no?" Jung Heewon said. "I'll send some of the photos I have
right now."
"Yes, please," Lee Seolhwa said brightly. "How old is she, Dokja-ssi?"
"She is turning four this year," Kim Dokja answered. "This is an older video I still like to watch."
"I know this one," Lee Hyunsung said brightly.
"Oh, my, she is just so adorable," Lee Seolhwa said when Kim Dokja played a video of Biyoo
flailing her hands at Kim Dokja and going "Ah-baaat!"
Everyone was smiling from ear to ear.
Except for Yoo Joonghyuk.
Han Sooyoung pitied the guy, but Kim Dokja mattered more to her. Yoo Joonghyuk took a back
seat in her list of priorities. She looked away from Yoo Joonghyuk, feeling slightly guilty and
hoping that Biyoo's holy adorableness would make her feel better.
"She looks a lot like you, Dokja-ssi," Lee Seolhwa said.
"She does, doesn't she?" Kim Dokja was grinning. The most genuine smile he had seen on Kim
Dokja's face. Yoo Joonghyuk felt a little part of his heart crumble away to dust.
"I was surprised too!"
The child on the phone Kim Dokja was showing everyone had smooth dark hair and round starry
eyes like Kim Dokja.
Of course, Kim Dokja had moved on easily. So he was living happily with a wife and child all this
time.
"Did you expect her to look like her mother?" Lee Seolhwa said and everyone stilled, their smiles
twitching.
"I'm sorry," Seolhwa said quickly noticing the change. "I didn't know it was a painful memory."
Yoo Joonghyuk thought he would feel nothing but hatred and maybe a few residual feelings of
self-pity. But when he heard that, he felt a part of him feel pain for Kim Dokja. It must have been
tough.
Then Kim Dokja laughed, surprising both Lee Seolhwa and Yoo Joonghyuk.
"She does look like her mother though," Kim Dokja said. "It's a long story. But she's not exactly my
biological daughter."
He swiped through a few photos on his phone before showing a picture of the baby version of his
daughter being held by a man with white hair, dark skin and deep red eyes.
"This is her biological father," Kim Dokja told Seolhwa. "On the official records, I might have
adopted her, but I've raised her since she was a baby and consider her my own."
"Is that your partner, Dokja-ssi?"
"Oh, no, we're more or less, how do I put it, something like friends?"
There was a loud clatter that startled everyone. They turned around to find the source of the noise
to see the tongs' having slipped from Yoo Joonghyuk's grasp and fallen onto the hot grill before
bouncing off it and colliding with a little bowl of sauce and knocking it over.
Han Sooyoung closed her eyes and let out a sigh.
Well fucking done, Kim Dokja!
The dumbass, honestly! Why would he say that?
Yoo Joonghyuk stared at the dark brown soy sauce spreading across the table before it was hidden
from his view by Yoo Sangah who put a couple of paper napkins on it to stop it from spilling off
the table and ruining anyone's clothes.
Then a laugh left his mouth before he had quite comprehended it.
How funny! Kim Dokja had literally adopted another man's child and he had labelled their
relationship as that of 'something like friends'. What about things like that being 'wrong', hmm?
Where did that reasoning go now?
God, Yoo Joonghyuk had so many unresolved issues.
"What?" Kim Dokja bristled.
Yoo Joonghyuk had never heard him use such a cold tone.
It would have bothered him, but now that he had admitted that he didn't really know much about
Kim Dokja, it didn't hurt him as much as it would have.
"You have commitment issues," Yoo Joonghyuk told him, looking him straight in the eye.
Kim Dokja flinched. Then he grit his teeth, no longer smiling. "You don't know anything, Yoo
Joonghyuk."
"And?" Yoo Joonghyuk challenged.
"Oi, you two," Han Sooyoung said wearily. "Can you stop being drama queens and talk this shit
out?"
"There's nothing to talk about."

"Not required."
"Bullshit!" Han Sooyoung snapped.
This was not a situation to have at a restaurant, really. The ones who were out of the loop were
anxiously looking at the three of them, glancing from one person to the other. They seemed to have
concluded that there was some history that only those three knew because they had been at
university together.
"Han Sooyoung," Yoo Sangah started tentatively.
"I know, I know," Han Sooyoung snapped. "You two," she glared at Yoo Joonghyuk and Kim
Dokja. "You two stubborn bastards with shitty communication skills, stop dragging everyone into
your mess. Sit down, discuss it and get it done with."
"Han Sooyoung, don't butt into this," Kim Dokja said, annoyed.
"If there is anyone in this world who gets to butt into your stuff, it's me!" Han Sooyoung spat. "I
am not going to watch you do something stupid just because of this. I won't do it again."
Kim Dokja's frown softened.
"Explain things properly, you little shit," Han Sooyoung scoffed, picking up a napkin from the pile,
and throwing it at Kim Dokja. It barely reached him and fluttered down to the table.
Kim Dokja glanced at Yoo Joonghyuk hopefully, but all his hopes were tattered when he saw Yoo
Joonghyuk's glare.
"You told her?" he growled.
"I didn't!" Kim Dokja said defensively.
"Do I look like an idiot to you two?" Han Sooyoung yelled. "How long do you think I've known
you two, huh?"
"Are you two living in two different realities?" she scolded. "This is why you keep messing things
up. I get what happened back then, but really? You two are grown adults, can't you act like it?"
"Han Sooyoung," Jung Heewon said, worried since Yoo Joonghyuk like he was going to stab Kim
Dokja with the pair of chopsticks that were sitting very close to where his hand was on the table.
"No, no, I'm going to kill these two sons of bitches or kill myself," Han Sooyoung huffed, taking
her phone out and tapping away angrily on it. "Motherfuckers. Swear to god, exist just to piss me
off. If I could donate common sense, I would."
Kim Dokja's phone vibrated and he looked down to see a text from Han Sooyoung. He looked
terrified for one fleeting second before the look was gone from his eyes.
"This is unnecessary," Kim Dokja said exasperatedly.
"You don't get to decide that," Han Sooyoung started heatedly. She could feel her eye twitch in
annoyance.
"Han Sooyoung, stay out of this," Yoo Joonghyuk said, glaring at the short woman.
"Oh, you shut up, you lousy bastard."
It had now turned into a three-way fight.

Yoo Sangah had expected this. Han Sooyoung might go around blaming the two men for not
communicating properly, but she often did the same and missed this all the time.
Yoo Joonghyuk got to his feet abruptly. He pulled his wallet out of his jeans pocket and slammed a
handful of bills onto the table. Then without a single word of goodbye, he turned and marched out
of the restaurant.
Chapter End Notes
Some things might have come off as confusing, don't worry. Just take it at face value.
Should be explained when I write KDJ's POV
Chapter 14
Chapter Notes
KDJ's side of the story lezzz goooo

I didn't mean to write 12chapters with YJH POV
And I'm not going to write 12 for KDJ. That's too much for me nope nope
I'll just do my best to make a compelling story
And oh, oh!

Trigger Warning!!
Kim Dokja's past incoming boiii
You know what that means
Groggy. He felt groggy.
He was feeling something else too. . .A lot of things, but at the same time, nothing at all.
No, it was more accurate to say that he couldn't distinguish what he was feeling. He was aware that
he was feeling something, but a strange numbness was taking over his mind.
The ceiling. . .The ceiling's white.
Eyelids fell shut easily. He had no energy to keep them open, nor was there anything interesting to
see.
The next time he woke up, he was a bit more aware of his surroundings.
Heaven?
It wasn't.
Of course, it wasn't. Of course, he hadn't died.
If he had, he would have certainly gone to hell.
Kim Dokja tried for days, begged for anyone to answer his pleas. He just wanted to die. That's all
he wanted. He knew he wasn't going to get anything else, he wasn't asking for it either. It was only
the gift of eternal peace. A cursed child was not necessary for the world anyway, so why couldn't
they just let him die? Why was he still alive?
When he wanted to live, everyone told him he should die.

And now when he no longer wished to live, he wasn't allowed to die?
The world just wanted him to be miserable, is that it?
Of course, that was it. He was a cursed child for a reason. He wouldn't be cursed if he could end it
so easily, now, would he? Misery incarnate, Kim Dokja. Eternally lonely, Kim Dokja. Misfortune's
beloved, Kim Dokja.
The doctors told him he was lucky. They said if he had hit the ground at an angle just a bit
different, he would have fallen on his neck and snapped it in two, killing him instantly.
Shame, he wished it would have happened.
They seemed to think he was a silly teenager who couldn't handle the dumb setbacks of life. They
thought it was pretty stupid that he tried to kill himself.
He thought it was pretty stupid for them to save him.
Why did they save people who tried to kill themselves anyway? No one was interested in saving
anyone when they were going through all the misery. But when they wanted to end it all, everyone
was out to rescue them. How ridiculous is that?
His aunt and uncle screamed at him once he was fully conscious and aware of his surroundings.
They said the same words in the same tone they always used. The same old reproachfulness and
verbal abuse, the same old looks for pity from the people who looked at him.
They moved him to some other ward. He suspected the doctors and nurses were pretty disturbed by
just how uncouth his relatives were being.
He couldn't bring himself to feel sorry or shame.
If in their anger, they strangled him to death, then it would be the best ending he could get. He
would die and they would get arrested. And at least now they won't be able to spit at his mother's
name. Would they write a book about their misery too? . . .They probably couldn't, they were too
dumb to even form proper thoughts. What could they write when they couldn't even tell the victim
apart from the assailant?
Not when they knew what their brother was doing to his wife and child.
Not when they blamed his mother for trying to protect them.
Not when they stole the money his mother made by spilling out her most hurtful memories onto
paper.
Not when he struggled to live, to simply breathe every day.
What could they even do when they were this stupid?
Maybe he was the one at fault. Maybe he was so unlucky that people lost their ability to think
properly when he was around them.
His mother could have left him, really, if he thought about it. She stayed, like an idiot and suffered
for that.
His relatives could have been understanding, but maybe something about him brought out rage
instead.
His classmates could have been kinder as they were to each other, but maybe something about him
told them that he didn't deserve kindness.
His teachers could have tried to stop things from happening; they usually broke apart fights, all
except when he got thrashed, maybe he was just made to be hated.
His relatives had refused to pay his hospital bills, so Kim Dokja lay in the bed he was given
thinking about what would happen in the future.
What would happen? The second he could get out of this bed, he would finish the task. He would
be smarter this time, more thorough, there will be no chance of another failed attempt.
He tried fiddling with the IV tube attached to his hand. A nurse caught him.
He got put in a wheelchair and sent to a room with an old man behind a table and he would try to
make Kim Dokja talk. A psychiatrist, Kim Dokja figured it out pretty quickly. They were trying to
stop him from killing himself.
Kim Dokja didn't say anything during these sessions, and they were soon stopped. He thought it
was great.
They could talk all they want, say they understood, say there were adults who only wanted to help
him. But really? Kim Dokja knew better. He knew better than to trust anyone, especially adults
who only cared about themselves.
He didn't have to go to school. That was nice.
His body was in pain, and though he would have liked it to stop, if this pain was what kept him
from going out into the world that was hell, then he'd bear it without showing the slightest bit of
discomfort.
In a way, this was probably the best blessing he would ever have in his life.
Maybe he would never get better and he could sit here until he rotted away. It wasn't like he wasn't
going to rot outside.
What would he do anyway? There was nothing for him to do there.
The world wouldn't even grant him one wish. He wasn't asking for anything arbitrarily! He said he
would live with the pain for the rest of his life, so why did he have to heal?
He was now forced to take walks. Two crutches shoved under his arms, sweaty fingers gripping
onto the synthetic cover to hoist himself, then drop a step farther. He wished that one of his legs
hadn't healed. At least then he wouldn't have to do this.
At first, he was accompanied by someone, but then when they seemed to think that he was fit to do
this on his own, they let him.
He had to cross the paediatric ward to get to where he wanted to go. He didn't like that place a lot.
There were too many children there, and too many loving parents.
Kim Dokja felt envy. Then he squashed that feeling down. He should not feel that way. He had no
right to hate someone else for being normal.
Children were curious little things. And loving parents didn't stop them even if they said the most
stabbing things ever.
He kept getting cornered every time, and that was the other reason he hated the paediatric ward.
He thought he could recognise the kids' faces now. He was barely listening to what they were
saying. The words entered his ear, stayed in his brain for a few seconds, and then crumbled away
because it was useless.
"Hey."
That was a voice he couldn't recognise. He hadn't heard it before. Not that it mattered of course,
but that information was at least novel compared to whatever these kids were saying.
"Scram."
He wished he could, really.
"Stop blocking the way and go somewhere else."
The kids protested a bit, stomped their feet, whined and cried and ran away. The peace that
followed was very gratifying. Kim Dokja was really thankful for whoever it was that scolded the
kids, even if it was for a stupid reason as blocking the way when there was a lot of place left
empty.
Kim Dokja moved away from the wall he had leaned back on a few minutes ago, giving into his
fate when the kids cornered him.
"Aren't you leaving?"
Yes, yes, he was. He just needed a few minutes. Couldn't this guy see his state? He's bound to take
some time.
"Go after your friends instead of blocking the way."
Will he ever stop talking? He sounded like a teenager, no wonder he was being a rude asshole.
"This is so annoying," he sighed. He didn't think he would have to face assholes in the hospital.
He'd had enough of them at school.
It seemed the other boy heard him, because he bellowed, "Oi, what did you say?"
Kim Dokja wasn't going to answer such a stupid question.
And what could this kid do anyway? Beat him up? Sure, then he would have to stay at the hospital
for longer and his relatives would probably make this guy's parents pay for the whole treatment.
What if he ended up killing him? Now, wouldn't that be wonderful!
Kim Dokja heard the same voice again when he just trying to go to bed.
"What are you doing here?"
What did it look like he was doing?
"Aren't you going to answer?"
The boy, he was a lot taller than Kim Dokja. A lot bigger too. He was glaring down at Kim Dokja
so fiercely that it wouldn't be surprising if he just burst into flames right now.
Fear sent a shudder up his spine and Kim Dokja wanted to curl up into a ball. Beatings hurt less
that way.
Then he steeled himself. If he dies, then he dies. That was about it. He wouldn't mind it anyway.
"This is my bed," he told the guy and sat down. He reached out to draw the curtains shut between
them so that they wouldn't have to see each other for any longer than necessary.
"What are you doing?" the boy sounded condescending. Then he yanked the curtain, making Kim
Dokja's hand fall painfully onto his leg and pulled it close.
What a fucking bastard!
Kim Dokja thought his name should have meant Unlucky instead. There was a bully at the hospital
and Kim Dokja seemed to be the target again.
This guy was a lot more physical than the taunting people did with words and he seemed to pay no
mind that Kim Dokja was injured. Well, since when did bullies care for that anyway?
The boy had his own broken leg to worry about but, no, he still found time to pick on Kim Dokja as
much as he could.
One time he was eating lunch peacefully when he felt the guy glaring at him. He was always
glaring at him, and if looks could kill (Kim Dokja wished they could) he would be dead a hundred
times over.
The guy suddenly stood up from his seat making Kim Dokja flinch, coughing slightly when the
rice he was eating went down the wrong pipe. Then he felt a sharp slap on his back. The pain
nearly blinded him for a second and a choked cry was all he could let out.
And the asshole had the audacity to call the nurses to check up on Kim Dokja because he was hurt.
He was the one who did that!
The bastard, Kim Dokja found out his bully's name, Yoo Joonghyuk, never fucking left his side.
He was always there.
Kim Dokja hated it. God, couldn't he have peace just for once in his life?
The nurse noticed his withdrawal, the same one who reminded him to take a walk and exercise his
limbs every day. She proposed that he just walk her to the elevator today if he didn't feel like going
out. Kim Dokja knew she wouldn't relent until he actually followed her words, so nodded and went
after her.
He saw the woman off and began heading back to his bed. The nurse had probably expected him to
go out, but he wasn't going to do that. Outside there were too many people who wanted to ask him
things.
Kim Dokja limped his way back when the white flight of stairs caught his eye.
White was the colour often used to refer to the heavens. Though these stairs were going
downwards, they could take him up if he did it right. And even if it went wrong, he could stay here
longer. He had nothing to lose anyway.
He had figured it out when he had jumped the first time. When he climbed onto the windowsill and
turned his back to the outdoors, so that he would be able to look at the sky while falling, he had
wondered if it would feel like flying.
They described it as such in a few stories. When death would bring liberation, when they jumped,
for a moment they would feel like flying.
He had jumped, looking for that feeling, but it never came. All he felt was that he was falling. As
the sky grew farther, it hit him. It was obvious, really.
You can't fly without wings. It's not flying unless you are going against gravity. If gravity pulls
you, then it shall always be just falling.
Falling came much easier than flying anyway.
Kim Dokja took the stairs. He was ready for the pain of rolling down the stairs, it wasn't like he
hadn't experienced that before. He knew how it would stab him all around his body until he
reached the end and slammed into the wall there because there was nothing he could do to stop the
inertia. Things are not all that scary once you had some experience with it.
Two steps in, he loosened the grip on his crutches and purposefully missed a step going down,
expecting to feel the familiar feeling of gravity pulling him into its painful embrace.
Something thin caught at his throat, punching the air out of his lungs. His feet had left the ground,
that was for sure. He had felt the pull of gravity, the sinking in his stomach, but he didn't hit the
floor.
He was hanging in mid-air and for a second, he felt like he was flying.
Then his feet found solid ground, back at the top of the stairs, on the corridor leading to his ward.
"Do you even use your brain?" he heard his bully's voice.
So it was this asshole. Of course, it was. Ruining Kim Dokja's life as usual. The universe had to
give the task to someone, now, didn't it? And in the hospital it was Yoo Joonghyuk's
responsibility; Mission: Don't Let Kim Dokja Be Happy.
Yoo Joonghyuk grabbed the back of his hospital gown again and pulled him backwards. Then he
limped down the stairs, picked up Kim Dokja's broken crutches and walked back up.
In the back of his mind, Kim Dokja thought that Yoo Joonghyuk was incredibly good at balancing
himself. How was he walking at a normal speed on stairs with his injury?
His crutches were shoved back into his hands and Yoo Joonghyuk spat, "What kind of dumbass
decides to take the stairs?"
". . .You just did."
What kind of hypocrisy is this? He literally just did!
Yoo Joonghyuk proceeded to call him an idiot and threatened him some more before glaring at
Kim Dokja all the while as he was leaving.
Yoo Joonghyuk was thwarting all of Kim Dokja's attempts to create a situation where he could
either grievously injure himself and fall into a coma, or better yet, die.
The hospital had a wobbly vending machine, when you pushed the button at an end hard, the other
end would creak and the machine would lean forward. If he just kept hitting at that one side, it
would crush him under it and well done!
Kim Dokja's plan worked very well. It wasn't that hard if common sense was applied. He closed
his eyes, waiting for the impact, for the glass to hit him, shatter and pierce his skin.
It wouldn't last very long. He would be conscious for a while and feel the pain during that time,
yes, but the end result would make it all worth it. He'd been conscious for a long time after he'd hit
the ground before.
Truth be told, he would have liked the last moments before his death to be pain-free. But it would
seem that he wasn't allowed that privilege.
The glass never hit him and the only pain he had felt was in his upper arm.
A loud crash resounded along the corridor and once the sound of shattering glass silenced itself, he
heard a familiar sharp voice.
"What the fuck are you doing?"
An apology fell out of his mouth before he even knew it.
Yoo Joonghyuk followed him a lot more after that. Like actively following him.
He would get out of his bed when Kim Dokja did, he would literally trail behind Kim Dokja
spitting venomous words and tugging at him randomly. It hurt, Yoo Joonghyuk always pulled and
pushed him around and it was very painful.
Kim Dokja had enough. There really was only so much he could take.
All he wanted was to die, so why the fuck was he having to live with this?
Why wouldn't this fucking psychopath leave him alone?!
"Why are you stalking me?"

"Shut up. I'm going for a walk. Why would I stalk you?"
That was his excuse all the time, and everyone seemed to believe him. What about Kim Dokja's
suffering? Why did no one ever see that he was actually the victim here?!
"You should sit somewhere else."
Now he was even stealing the best spot that Kim Dokja had found! He refused to give this up.
"I always sit here. You go somewhere else."
"Use honorifics, you brat."
He wasn't being very respectful either, was he? The fucking asshole.
"I don't talk respectfully to bullies," Dokja said mustering as much grace as he could.
"What are you saying? You're being bullied? By who?"
They always did this. It is never bullying, it's just kids playing. What kind of kids play by beating
up someone else until blood spilt?
"You, you bastard."
"The fuck are you saying?"
Yoo Joonghyuk's glare was truly frightening and when he towered over him, Kim Dokja
instinctively felt fear and his body recalled past experiences and would start trembling.
God, he hated this guy. Fuck Yoo Joonghyuk.
"Y-You keep stalking me—"
"I'm not stalking you!"
Lying bitch.
"You insult me every time I try to eat. You grab my neck and choke me."
Try to deny these accusations, asshole. He had done everything and if he had the audacity to look
Kim Dokja in the eye and say he hadn't, Kim Dokja would make sure to kill himself before this
guy.
Let him be traumatised for the rest of his life. Bastard.
"You yell at me every time you see me and won't let me use the vending machine at all. Why do
you keep following me just to pick on me, you asshole? See, even now you're trying to kick me out
of my spot. Does it make you feel big and strong, picking on someone?"
"Kim Dokja, do you want to die?"
Yeah, what about it? Do it then.
"Try me, fucker!" Kim Dokja didn't remember him ever being so rude to anyone else. It felt
strangely liberating.
Yoo Joonghyuk clenched his fist and Kim Dokja had to force himself to stop his hands from
raising to cover his head by instinct. He wouldn't cower now. He'd had enough. Fuck it all.
But all he received was a flick on the forehead.
It really hurt though. What kind of inhuman strength did this asshole have?
Yoo Joonghyuk then grabbed his shirt and pulled him forward. So he was going to get hit now,
that was just warm-up, huh?
Kim Dokja clenched his teeth. Let him beat him up, let him do that. At least at the end, Kim Dokja
could spit out a 'fuck you' at him.
Surprisingly, however, he let go of Kim Dokja and with confidence declared, "Don't talk big if you
can't put your mouth where your money is."
With the dark shadows that fell on his face, and the fierce glare that Yoo Joonghyuk had, for a
second Kim Dokja almost took his words at face value.
Then he realised that something was wrong. That wasn't how the saying went. What the fuck was
that even supposed to mean?
"You're wrong," he told him blankly. What sort of idiot got that wrong?
"What?"
"Put your money where your mouth is, not what you said."
"I meant what I said," Yoo Joonghyuk stood his ground, but Kim Dokja had seen his ears turning
red.
"Stop pretending to be cool. You look stupid," said Kim Dokja.
"You are a kid, what do you know?"
"More than you apparently."
Anger flashed in Yoo Joonghyuk's eyes.
"You thought I was bullying you, fool," he sneered.
How cringey could a person actually be?
"Are you as stupid as you are tall? Because you were."
"I was trying to save you."
"Oh, yeah?"
"Oh, yeah, you stupid brat."
Kim Dokja opened his mouth angrily, a scathing response on his tongue. He could recount all the
incidents if he wanted, what excuse would Yoo Joonghyuk give him then, huh? Save him, his ass!
. . .Hang on.
Kim Dokja looked at it from Yoo Joonghyuk's perspective for once. . .Ah. . .So that was this guy
trying to help him? He was doing all this because he was worried?
What the actual fuck?
No. No way. It was probably just another excuse. People lied and gave excuses when they were
caught anyway.
". . .Stop trying to steal my spot," Kim Dokja sighed. Whatever. He could argue for eternity with
this bastard and he'd probably give thousands of excuses to make him look like the nobler person.
"I told you to use honorifics."
Fine. Fine, you bastard.
"Go sit somewhere else," Kim Dokja said politely. "This is my spot, Joonghyuk Hyung."
Yoo Joonghyuk seemed to like that. It was a natural reaction anyway, people liked to feel superior.
Yoo Joonghyuk's glare was back again. What now?
"How do you know my name?"
Bullies weren't very smart, were they?
"It's written on the card on your bed," he told the other boy. "I'm not stupid."
"Are you sure about that?"
Was he really asking him that? This idiot who couldn't even tell the saying right and then pretended
like he had done it on purpose?
"Sit somewhere else. There's no sunlight here," Yoo Joonghyuk said.
That's the point, idiot.
"I know. It's nice."
"Are you a ghost? You need sunlight. You look like a corpse."
"Wish I was actually a corpse," Kim Dokja muttered, but he let Yoo Joonghyuk drag him out into
the sunlight anyway.
Kim Dokja soon realised that Yoo Joonghyuk was just very awkward with things. He was
reminded of those archetypes, the tsundere characters who did something nice then pretended they
didn't do it because they were trying to be nice or anything.
No fucking way! Did tsunderes actually exist in real life?
What a wacko. . .
Yoo Joonghyuk seemed to take on that nurse's role and would drag Kim Dokja out for a walk in the
bright sunlight before going to their nice spot. . .The bastard stole Kim Dokja's spot and made it
'theirs'.
He didn't find it in himself to be truly mad.
Kim Dokja started reading again after so long. He hadn't felt like doing anything, even reading.
But when Yoo Joonghyuk sat on his phone, it felt a bit awkward so he decided he might as well
catch up on all the stories he had abandoned.
When Yoo Joonghyuk suddenly snatched his phone away from his hand and gave him a flick on
his forehead, Kim Dokja was ready to throw hands. The fucker had cut him off at the good part!
Then the boy stuffed his own phone into his hand.
"How the fuck do you read with this?" Yoo Joonghyuk glared at the broken screen of Kim Dokja's
phone. "Just use that. You'll ruin your eyes."
Kim Dokja stared at him.
". . .can-can I do that?"
"Don't make me say it twice, fool."
Yoo Joonghyuk's phone was an old model, Kim Dokja noted, but it still worked fine and it seemed
he took care of the thing, much more than Kim Dokja took care of his own phone at least.
Kim Dokja held the phone carefully in his hands.
"I'm going to log into the web novel platforms on your phone, okay?" he said.
"Do whatever you want," Yoo Joonghyuk scoffed before leaning back on his pillows propped
against his back on the bed and starting a game on his gaming switch.
Seriously, what a weirdo. Who just gives their phone to another person like that? What if Kim
Dokja did something bad with it? Joonghyuk Hyung was a bit of a silly guy, wasn't he?
Yoo Joonghyuk was really weird, but Kim Dokja liked this weird hyung of his.
A few weeks ago he would have laughed until he cried if someone told him that he would find a
reason to live, but here he was.
To be honest, living still didn't seem all that appealing. But at least every time he saw a window, he
didn't feel like throwing himself out of it.
Not that Yoo Joonghyuk would let him anyway.
Yoo Joonghyuk was a very caring guy, who didn't know how to show it properly and still tried in
his own clumsy way.
Yoo Joonghyuk hit his head one day and Kim Dokja turned to him with a glare, but he faltered
when he saw the look on Yoo Joonghyuk's face. It didn't look like he'd meant to hurt him.
Was he trying to pat his head? And he just didn't know how to?
"Hurts, hyung," Kim Dokja muttered.
Yoo Joonghyuk didn't stop hitting his head, but it certainly got gentler. . .Ah, so that's what it was.
When they were sitting together on the bench outside, Yoo Joonghyuk would move closer if he felt
Kim Dokja looking at him and would let him watch him playing.
"If you want anything, just say it," Yoo Joonghyuk would huff.
He was like the older brother character; got super worried at little things, annoyed him for no
reason but was still there for him, and added that to Yoo Joonghyuk's personal brand of tsundere.
When Kim Dokja found out the big secret Yoo Joonghyuk was keeping from him, he found he was
angry. And sort of liked it.
"Did you not know?" the nurse was giggling. "Joonghyuk turned fifteen only a few months ago."
That asshole!
Kim Dokja was very indignant, for a very stupid reason. He could have just left it at that, it wasn't
such a life-changing issue. But this was the first time he had felt mad for something so normal.
He wasn't angry about something like reporters flooding his door, following him on the way to
school. He wasn't angry about teachers ignoring him at school. He wasn't angry about his
classmates reading out from the book his mother had written. He wasn't angry about the bullies at
his school who made sure to make his life miserable. He wasn't angry about how her relatives took
all the money his mother had made by writing her book and still insulted her at every chance they
got.
He was angry at something so, so silly. Something so normal.
Yoo Joonghyuk tricked him and made him call him 'hyung'. So what? It was the first, truly
harmless prank anyone's ever played on him. It seemed a tad bit funny in his own mind if he
thought about it.
But he was still a bit pissed.
"Yoo Joonghyuk, you son of a bitch!"
"What did you just say?" Yoo Joonghyuk snapped his head up from his game to glare at Kim
Dokja.
"You lying bastard! Was it fun? Did you enjoy tricking me all this time, you fucker?"
"What the fuck are you talking about?"
"Hey, use honorifics, asshole."
"What?"
"I'm older than you, you dumb bastard. And you forced me to call you 'hyung' for weeks
when you were the one supposed to call me 'hyung'."
Kim Dokja did wonder sometimes why he didn't feel like killing himself often these days. Was it
because he was reading again? Was it because Yoo Joonghyuk was always watching him like a
hawk? The answer came to him now.
Yoo Joonghyuk made him feel normal.
Made him feel like he was just any other fifteen-year-old messing about.
"I thought you were ten," Yoo Joonghyuk said, staring blankly at Kim Dokja's identification card.
His eyes were wide and he looked like he had forgotten to close his mouth. He honestly looked like
an idiot.
Kim Dokja felt himself wanting to smile.
"Hah!?" he scoffed.
"You're tiny! It's not my fault!" Yoo Joonghyuk said in his defence.
"Bullshit! You're a big idiot, that's what you are!"
So Kim Dokja smiled.
Yoo Joonghyuk was like a protagonist sometimes. He spoke in sharp, curt sentences, and carried
himself with complete confidence. The air of a protagonist just followed the guy somehow. He sort
of looked the part too.
He was a bit dumb, but that didn't do anything to lower his appeal, Kim Dokja felt. It made him
that much more likeable.
Yoo Joonghyuk wasn't exactly pretty, no, his face had a much sharper look to it. He wasn't
handsome either, it was something softer. His face was just very pleasing to look at.
"Are you excited to go to high school?" Kim Dokja asked him while they were sitting at their bench
outside.
"What's there to be excited about?" Yoo Joonghyuk's focus was still on his game, his fingers flying
over the buttons rapidly. Seeing him play was a wonderful sight. Kim Dokja was sure he would
never be able to do that.
When Yoo Joonghyuk focused on things, his dark eyes would narrow and Kim Dokja almost felt
like he could see the glint, like in those web novel covers with the protagonist standing in a cool
pose.
Victory flashed on the screen and Yoo Joonghyuk smirked.
He sure had arrogance as well. Good for him.

"Do you like games?"
"Mhm."
"That's good."
Yoo Joonghyuk sat silently for a while. Then he took a glance at Kim Dokja, looking a bit nervous
like he didn't know what to do with the silence. Kim Dokja wanted to tell him that he didn't have to
do anything, but he let him figure that out for himself.
"You like reading," was what Yoo Joonghyuk came up with after some time had passed.
"Mhm," Kim Dokja replied like Yoo Joonghyuk had.
"Is that what your name means?"
"I like to think so," Kim Dokja said. The other meaning would make him the 'highly respected only
son'. He was an only child, but he wasn't highly respected. Besides, he liked being a reader. It
wasn't that bad. Better than 'only child' anyway.
". . .Is that why you like reading? Because you are a reader?" Yoo Joonghyuk said.
"I don't know," Kim Dokja replied honestly. "I read because I want to. . .It's not much, I know.
Sorry."
"You," Yoo Joonghyuk said sharply. "You have a bad habit of apologizing when it's not necessary
and not apologizing when it is. Don't ruin the word's meaning."
"I'm not ruining anything, you jerk," Kim Dokja huffed. "And what would you know about words
anyway? Do you even read?"
"Do you want to get hit?"
"Does anyone want to get hit? And if you want to hit someone, hit yourself!"
Yoo Joonghyuk put his switch down on the bench beside him and flexed his arms. Kim Dokja
thought it would be best to run but given his condition, it wasn't an easy task.
He got caught by Yoo Joonghyuk in a headlock, but he found it wasn't painful.
Kim Dokja had been put in this position so many times and he couldn't help but wait for the pull at
his neck muscles.
It never came.
He knew Yoo Joonghyuk was stronger than that, he was just holding back so that he wouldn't hurt
Kim Dokja.
Something in his chest seemed to swell.
Yoo Joonghyuk's grip loosened and he let Kim Dokja relax, back pressed against his side. The
wounds on Kim Dokja's back stung slightly at the pressure, but he ignored it. He wanted to stay in
this warmth just a bit longer.
"Gamer? You want to do that?" Kim Dokja asked over lunch.
That switched Yoo Joonghyuk's attention from the hospital food he just wouldn't stop complaining
about. Kim Dokja didn't really know what he was on about when he spoke about that. He thought
the food was fine. Maybe it was because he wasn't exactly eating delicious foods on a normal
basis. He was getting three meals a day, what was there to complain about?
. . .Ah, the hospital bill later would be the thing to complain about.
He didn't want to think about it, so he looked at Yoo Joonghyuk's face.
"I'm saving up for a PC," Yoo Joonghyuk said. "I should be able to get one soon."
"You can just go to the PC Room though?"
"Are you stupid?" Yoo Joonghyuk rolled his eyes. Kim Dokja had learnt that when he spoke like
this, he didn't really mean it.
"You can't stream in PC rooms."
"You're going to stream?"
"Mhm."
"Why?"
"It pays."
Kim Dokja wasn't someone who would keep pestering people to answer his questions, but he felt
that Yoo Joonghyuk would answer him if he asked.
"In this world, if you want to live, you need money," Yoo Joonghyuk said. Kim Dokja knew that,
he knew that very well, but he didn't tell Yoo Joonghyuk that. He just wanted to know why the guy
always spoke like this. It was very interesting.
"I do not want to depend on anyone else for my needs."
"Why not any other normal jobs, you know?" Kim Dokja said.
"I don't want to," Yoo Joonghyuk said. He brought up a hand and ran his fingers through his hair,
pushing it up and away from his eyes. When he removed his hand, his wavy hair fell onto his
forehead as though it had been perfectly styled by a professional. And then he went back to eating.
"What's the point in doing something if it doesn't make you happy?"
Why did this bastard have to look so uselessly cool while doing something so stupid as glaring at a
spoonful of rice?
"You know being happy gets tougher the more you age," Kim Dokja said, turning back to his own
lunch.
"Is that any reason to stop trying?"

Kim Dokja sighed.
"I wonder what I'll do though," he muttered. "Maybe work at the office like everyone else."
"Editor."
"Huh?"
"You like reading," Yoo Joonghyuk reasoned. "You'll do better as an editor."
Kim Dokja stared at him. . .He had never thought about that. He did like reading, so it did seem
like the next best option. It was surprising that Yoo Joonghyuk was the one who was telling him
this.
"Editors, you know those people who edit books before they get published," Yoo Joonghyuk said
and Kim Dokja heard the playful tone he was using. Yoo Joonghyuk was making a joke, a rare
occurrence.
"They edit real books. You wouldn't know, you don't read real books, do you?"
"Hey, web novels are books too!" Kim Dokja said indignantly. "Don't you know that web novels
get physically published too? You wouldn't know, you don't read at all, do you?"
Yoo Joonghyuk glared at him and Kim Dokja smiled back.
He was expecting Yoo Joonghyuk to say something harsh again, but the boy just scoffed and
stuffed some rice into his mouth. Then he pulled a face, disgusted.
Yoo Joonghyuk could be a bit cute sometimes.
"I'm sure you'll be big quick," Kim Dokja said, trying to appease him. "I'm sure you'll make a lot of
money at a young age too. You're like a protagonist bastard with all the OP talent."
He really meant that.
"Can't you talk normally?" Yoo Joonghyuk said, annoyed.
"I'll watch your games and support you if you start gaming," Kim Dokja said instead.
He meant that too.
"Yoo Joonghyuk," Kim Dokja leaned in and whispered in Yoo Joonghyuk's ear.
Kim Dokja was oddly excited about just doing this one action. He had mentally prepared himself in
his head for at least five minutes before he actually looked up from his phone and moved closer to
Yoo Joonghyuk.
Kim Dokja had seen friends whispering to each other all the time. He just never had a friend to do
that with. He considered Yoo Joonghyuk his friend, so this was okay, right?
Luckily, Yoo Joonghyuk didn't push him away or look at him in disgust. He just tilted his head
down, towards Kim Dokja and hummed, eyes still on the game he was playing.
Emboldened, Kim Dokja moved closer until they were pressed against each other. Yoo Joonghyuk
moved his hand back so that he could both accommodate Kim Dokja and play comfortably.
"Did you notice?" Kim Dokja lowered his voice and breathed into Yoo Joonghyuk's ear. "There's a
strange man looking at us. He's been standing there for like ten minutes already."
"Where?" Yoo Joonghyuk muttered back.
Kim Dokja wanted to speak like in those mystery, action novels. Say something like 'three o'clock'
and get the message across. But he didn't think Yoo Joonghyuk would get that.
"If you look up straight, and then look to your right a bit," Kim Dokja told him, under the pretence
that he was watching Yoo Joonghyuk's game. "You know, that water fountain? There."
Kim Dokja was expecting Yoo Joonghyuk to be discrete, considering how he had taken Kim Dokja
seriously and played along.
But Yoo Joonghyuk looked up sharply and glared in the direction Kim Dokja had mentioned. He
glared at the foreign man and the man stared back, frozen in spot.
"What the fuck? Why would you do that?" Kim Dokja said through gritted teeth, barely moving
his mouth, as he stared at Yoo Joonghyuk in alarm. What was the whole point of him whispering if
the bastard was acting like this? He might as well have announced it using a megaphone.
"What a fucking creep," Yoo Joonghyuk spat in the man's direction. "Ignore him," he told Kim
Dokja and gently put a protective arm around his shoulder. Kim Dokja held the other side of the
switch so that it wouldn't fall, just in case.
Yoo Joonghyuk continued playing his game, but Kim Dokja noticed that he wasn't doing as well as
he would usually have done and he would keep glancing up every two seconds.
Ah, so he was worried about the suspicious man in all black hovering near the water fountain.
They were sitting in a secluded place, even if it was broad daylight and the man wasn't behaving in
a way that would give him an advantage.
Some very nervous five minutes later, when Kim Dokja snuck a glance at the man, he seemed to be
accompanied by a very beautiful woman. She was a foreigner too.
"Yoo Joonghyuk," Kim Dokja called immediately. "Look."
"What?"
"I think he was waiting for his. . .girlfriend?" Kim Dokja said uncertainly. The woman fell into the
man's arms and smiled up at him.
"She's very beautiful, no?" Kim Dokja whispered to Yoo Joonghyuk. "Now that I think about it,
that man's really handsome."
"Kim Dokja, stop saying nonsense," Yoo Joonghyuk sneered. "And pay attention to the game."
"I'm not the one playing," Kim Dokja scoffed. "Why do I have to pay attention?"
Yoo Joonghyuk glared harder at the game.

"Do tourists usually come to hospitals?" Kim Dokja said, ignoring him. He took another glance and
this time, the couple was looking right back at him.
The woman smiled widely and waved at him.
Kim Dokja wondered if he should wave back, then decided to give a respectful bow instead. He
should show a good example of Korean manners to the tourists.
"Kim Dokja," Yoo Joonghyuk snapped at him and tugged him closer by his shoulder. "Stop doing
nonsense."
"What am I even doing?" Kim Dokja huffed, punching Yoo Joonghyuk in the arm lightly.
The couple went away a few seconds later, but they stayed like that. Kim Dokja didn't mind. In
fact, he was very happy. He had seen friends walk around, arms over each other's shoulders, just
chatting away or doing nothing at all.
It was like he finally had a friend.
It sank in and Kim Dokja felt like he was floating.
He had a friend!
Yoo Joonghyuk had to leave.
Kim Dokja had always known that the boy would leave, but just not so soon. Time had never gone
by faster in his life.
Yoo Joonghyuk seemed to notice his distress and told him that they could always contact each
other, and it wasn't like he was leaving the country.
It was as though a bucket of ice-cold water had been thrown over his head.
Kim Dokja had deluded himself into this happy fantasy of their lives where they would be fifteen
forever, friends and happy. He had thought that he would tag along on adventures with Yoo
Joonghyuk, like one of those side character best friends all those protagonists had.
But reality wasn't like that.
When they stepped out of this little bubble they had made, where there was nothing to protect
them, everything would come crashing down.
Outside, in the real world, Kim Dokja was the son of a murderer.
In the hospital, things were fine, but once he goes outside, Yoo Joonghyuk would find out who he
was.
Kim Dokja couldn't tell what Yoo Joonghyuk's reaction to finding out about Kim Dokja would be.
He could imagine scenarios in his head though.
Maybe Yoo Joonghyuk would be absolutely disgusted and ask Kim Dokja to stop contacting him
immediately. Maybe he would make fun of Kim Dokja along with his other, better friends. Maybe
he would give interviews to reporters talking about how annoying he found Kim Dokja.
. . .Or maybe, knowing Yoo Joonghyuk, he would give the world a middle finger and still continue
being Kim Dokja's friend.
Yeah, he was the type to do that, wasn't he? He wouldn't be Yoo Joonghyuk if he didn't act like a
protagonist every second he breathed.
Then another damning truth chimed in his head.
It would be a problem if Yoo Joonghyuk still remained his friend.
Yoo Joonghyuk wanted to become a pro gamer. He wanted to be a gamer who streamed and made
a lot of money. Information spreads quickly on the internet, and if anyone finds out that he was
friends with the son of a murderer, it could ruin Yoo Joonghyuk's entire life.
Kim Dokja couldn't do that to him.
But how could he convince Yoo Joonghyuk? He couldn't. Yoo Joonghyuk was stubborn as a bull. .
.He had to make Yoo Joonghyuk hate him. He could say some very mean things and make him
hate him.
Then arose another issue. Kim Dokja knew how words could hurt people. He knew the power that
words held, he knew how the right ones could plant hope while the harsher ones could plague
minds.
He did not want to hurt Yoo Joonghyuk with words he didn't even mean. He couldn't do that to his
friend.
Ah! There was a simple solution to all this.
Kim Dokja just needed to have no way of ever contacting Yoo Joonghyuk.
Yoo Joonghyuk would probably forget about him soon and he would be safe and happy.
Kim Dokja didn't have a lot to give, so that was the only thing he could give his first-ever friend.
Kim Dokja stayed away for the entire evening, scared that stubborn Yoo Joonghyuk would still be
around and make Kim Dokja lose all his willpower. A nurse had found him hiding in the corner
and asked him to go back to his bed since it was late and hesitantly, Kim Dokja went back.
Yoo Joonghyuk wasn't there when he got there. The bed next to him was all cleared out. He did
find a little piece of paper with a phone number scrawled on it in a rather hasty and untidy
handwriting.
Kim Dokja was no stranger to sadness. He was used to goodbyes too. He felt like he could cry, but
tears didn't spill from his eyes.
He really was sad, but he felt like it was a job well done. He wanted Yoo Joonghyuk's story to have
a happy ending and that would never work if Kim Dokja was in it.
He wanted to save the number to his phone but decided not to, lest he give into temptation. Instead,
he memorized the number, pocketed the note and stared at the ceiling for the rest of the night.
Chapter 15
Chapter Notes
TW: Self-harm
Have a lovely time, thank you
Kim Dokja had never been in such a situation.
A couple of days after Yoo Joonghuk left the hospital, Kim Dokja was told that they were moving
his ward. The doctors who spoke to him looked very happy for some reason.
Kim Dokja supposed he was going to be sent back to his relatives' house or something, but he
found himself in a wheelchair being wheeled up to the top floor of the hospital.
Why was he in a wheelchair when he could walk? They'd all made him walk all this time so he
could get better. What was this for?
He shouldn't have stayed up reading that mystery novel last night. It was a nice story, all things
considered, but it just involved a whole village worshipping a demon and bringing it sacrifices
every once in a while.
That would be such an interesting way to go, Kim Dokja thought. It would probably be the most
magical thing to happen to him, getting sacrificed by a bunch of crazy health professionals.
Kim Dokja was ever so slightly disappointed when he didn't meet a demon or monster, but was
instead moved to a very big room with a fancy bed that could be moved up and down using a
remote control. There was a huge television mounted on the wall opposite the bed. The humidifier
was humming quietly from the table beside the bed. A bowl of fruits sat on a coffee table in front
of a leather couch. Two armchairs with fluffy pillows took up the unnecessary empty space of the
large room. There were flowers by the large windows, the blinds were pulled up, and pretty beige
and brown curtains were drawn to the side and tied up nicely.
. . .What the actual fuck was he doing here?
Kim Dokja was still processing when he was changed into a much more comfortable hospital
gown, tucked into bed and given smiles by everyone in the room.
Finally, the door opened and this time an old man in a suit walked in. So, he was not a doctor.
Noted. What could he have possibly done to get visited by someone who was not bound by the
rules and terms of their employment in this healthcare system?
The old man didn't seem to be the final boss, because he held the door open and bowed a little,
welcoming someone else into the room as well.
Kim Dokja's lips parted a little when he saw the couple from a while ago enter the room. He
wouldn't forget foreigners like them, especially when they stood out so much.
The woman walked in first, a dazzling smile, and eyes that shone like gold. Her dark green dress
accentuated by a golden belt at her waist swept the floor as she moved closer to Kim Dokja's bed.
She gestured at the armchairs and gave a little flick. The people waiting in the back of the room
scrambled to push the armchairs closer to the bed.
"Leave," the man who had come in with the woman said and Kim Dokja felt an unnatural chill set
in just by hearing his voice. The man had long dark hair, very much in contrast to his companion.
He was clad in a dull black that reminded Kim Dokja of grim reapers. A shadowy face and eyes
that were cold as ice.
The old man spoke up and Kim Dokja had to remind himself that he had existed too. These two
foreigners just took all his attention the second they entered.
The others left the room in a hurry.
The old man told the couple something in English, Kim Dokja only understood a few simple words
like 'sit' and 'please'.
The couple moved and took the armchairs. The armchairs were very fancy, but Kim Dokja
marvelled at how they could make something like that look like thrones just by gracing the objects
with their presence.
"Dokja-yah," the old man said finally, in an oily tone that made Kim Dokja reel back by instinct.
The man got glared at by the couple for that.
"My apologies," the old man said. "Kim Dokja-ssi."
Kim Dokja wasn't used to being referred to so formally either, so he frowned and the old man got
glared at again.
The old man cleared his throat awkwardly and then started by introducing himself as the director
of this hospital and told him that these two very special people wanted to meet him.
Kim Dokja thought something was up with his life. First Yoo Joonghyuk, then this couple. What
was going on? Was he going to die soon or something?
"It's nice to meet you, Kim Dokja," the woman said. "You can call me Persephone,"
Persephone? Wow, what a dazzling name. The maximum foreign names he had read in novels
were something along the same lines of Alex, Max, Richard, Elizabeth, Rose, Lily, Johnson and
stuff like that.
The woman, Persephone was still smiling at him.
"My husband," she said placing a hand on the shoulder of the man sitting next to her. The man
took her hand and held it in his, making the look in her eyes soften.
"Hades," the man said in the same chilling voice.
"Hello," Kim Dokja said finally, hearing his voice crack. He bowed his head politely, "My name is
Kim Dokja. It's nice to meet you as well."
The hospital's director started speaking again.
By the end of his explanation, Kim Dokja reached one conclusion. This whole situation was
absurd.
This couple were some big shots who were visiting South Korea for something and they had to
visit the hospital for some reason. And then they spotted him one day and now have decided that
they would like to adopt him.
"Umm, are you—are you sure it's me they are talking about?" he told the director, and he
translated it for the couple.
Ah, so they didn't know Korean very well.
The woman nodded once she had heard the director and said, in Korean. "Yes."
It was a very polite yes and it made Kim Dokja feel a bit weird, being spoken to like that. He was
more used to the casual version.
"No, there was another boy with me that day," Kim Dokja told the director, a bit frantically, he
realised. "Yoo Joonghyuk. I think they might mean him. I have his contact number if you want."
Honestly, it just made sense that they would be looking for Yoo Joonghyuk. He also knew that
Yoo Joonghyuk's parents were not around. This could help him. . .Though Yoo Joonghyuk didn't
seem like the kind to just go with them. He would much rather stay with his master.
The woman shook her head when she heard what the director spoke to her. The man, Hades,
inhaled sharply and Kim Dokja realised his gaze had never left Kim Dokja's face. He felt himself
shiver slightly.
This immediately sent Persephone into a panic and she said something in English making the
director dart to the side of the room where the thermostat was fixed on the wall and increased the
temperature.
Kim Dokja took a deep breath and said, "Director, can you tell them that I already have a mother?"
The message was passed and Persephone smiled at him, a sad smile, then she said, "I shall talk to
your mother."
She sort of had Korean down, sure, but needed some more practice with it. Kim Dokja didn't find it
funny though. It felt strangely warm that this person was putting in so much effort just so that she
could talk to him herself. She could have always asked the director to translate. It would have been
so much easier.
"I'm not ten," he said, remembering what Yoo Joonghyuk had said back then. "I'm actually fifteen."
The director and Persephone chuckled quietly.
"I know," Persephone said.
"They have already checked your records," the director spoke to him, still being rather formal.
Kim Dokja spent the next fifteen minutes trying his best to convince the couple that they could
have so many other options, better options. He even told them about his mother's book and what he
was.
Persephone's eyes filled with tears when she heard the translation. Kim Dokja thought the director
had added a few more words than what he had actually said. Hades' gaze shook for a second, but it
was back to normal soon.
Persephone got up from her seat and pointed at the bed. "Sit? Can I?"
Kim Dokja nodded immediately. "Please, no need to ask," he squeaked out.
Persephone sat down at the edge of his bed and held both her hands out, palms up.
They sat there, very awkwardly. Kim Dokja stared at her hands, then up at her, wondering what she
wanted.
Then Persephone smiled and took one of his hands in hers and covered it with her other hand. It
was warm, Kim Dokja noted.
"My story," Persephone started slowly. 'Story' was said in English, but Kim Dokja had been online
enough to know what it meant. The rest of her sentence was grammatically incorrect with Korean
and a mix of a few English words.
But Kim Dokja managed to piece it together. He thought it translated to, "My story, will you allow
me to share it with you?"
The director translated it as "Would you like to hear my story" and Kim Dokja felt slightly miffed.
It felt as though the weight behind Persephone's exact words had diminished with that translation,
even though it served its purpose.
Kim Dokja nodded.
They needed a lot of translation for this part.
Kim Dokja looked between Hades and Persephone as the director told him their story.
The couple had been unable to conceive a child for a long time. Recently, while they were in South
Korea for some other purpose, they found out that Persephone was with child and they rushed to
the hospital. That's when they saw Kim Dokja and thought it would be lovely to have a child like
that.
Kim Dokja wasn't sure if this was actually a part of the story or if the director was just trying to get
him to agree to go with the couple.
They must be paying the hospital a lot, especially since they said they would pay for all his
hospital bills, and the rest of the treatment, including the room he was in at the moment.
A week ago or so, the couple found out that Persephone had suffered a miscarriage again. This was
her fourth one and Kim Dokja wondered how the couple weren't crying when they were retelling
their story to him.
Well, he wouldn't be crying when he told others that his father had been a drunkard who made his
and his mother's life a living hell and his mother killed him one day and was now in prison.
"They remembered you," the director was saying. "And just knew that you would be their son."
Was that something that could just be decided like that?
He could be a shitty person for all they knew. They had just seen him for a few seconds before and
that was it. They'd never spoken to him before this, they wouldn't even know about his past
because it was a big issue only in Korea.
He was given some time to think.
Kim Dokja thought they weren't as bad as they could have been, since they could have just adopted
him, no one would actually want to find out if he had agreed to it or anything.
He was made to stay in this fancy room. There was a big change in his treatment, he now had to go
to physiotherapy sessions, and other checkups that lasted for hours. The rest of the time, he could
just sit in the nice room and read.
They got him a replacement for his broken phone and even brought him a laptop, should he need
anything. He said he was fine with just the phone since all he had to do was read.
The couple would spend a lot of time with him. Persephone would sit by his bedside, and cut up
fruits to feed him. Hades wasn't around a lot, and he learnt that they were in the country for some
business deal or something so he had to take care of it. But he would be there every night for sure.
He would just sit on the sofa and work on his laptop, glasses perched on his nose.
It was all very weird. Kim Dokja felt like he couldn't breathe sometimes.
He searched and searched and searched, to find even the slightest hint of malice in their eyes.
Something that told him that they were bad people, that they only wanted to use him.
But search as he might, he never found even a shred of it.
They looked at him the way he had seen other parents look at their children and it made his heart
tremble.
Persephone wasn't very good at Korean, she had an accent, her grammar was all over the place, and
the intonation was out of the window. And even though they used an online translator, that thing
wasn't very reliable either.
The message got across without fail. It was just very strange.
Hades said very little and spoke in one-word statements like, 'eat', 'sleep', 'drink', 'go', 'sit' and so
on. Persephone giggled and told Kim Dokja that it was because he was shy; a piece of information
he didn't know what he was supposed to do with.
Kim Dokja had heard things from the people who came to change his sheets and clean the room.
Some said he was very lucky, and that he was making a mistake by refusing the couple. Kim Dokja
was still hoping that they would leave.
Others said that foreigners often did this, apparently. They would adopt Asian children to parade as
charitable people when in reality they treated the children horribly.
They said Kim Dokja was probably another kid like that.
Honestly, Kim Dokja didn't mind. He didn't think he could be treated any worse than he already
was. Anything would be an improvement.
Somehow Persephone heard of this and her rage knew no bounds. There was a whole lot of
commotion throughout the entire hospital as she unleashed her wrath.
Kim Dokja tried to talk her out of it, but Hades stopped him by shaking his head.
Had anyone ever been so angry in his place? . . .Oh, there was Yoo Joonghyuk. That day when he
had threatened to beat up his useless trash relatives because they had been talking shit about Kim
Dokja. Kim Dokja had felt very touched by that action, no one had ever done that for him before.
He left the hospital once he was healed, at least on the outside. He still had to take a lot of different
treatments and medication, but he didn't have any bandages on or anything. Money sure did a lot of
things, the drastic improvement in his treatment regimen was incredulous.
They got into a car, the three of them, a translator, and a driver. Kim Dokja didn't think he would
have the chance to sit in a better car, like ever. He would have enjoyed it more, but the dread of the
place they were heading to diminished any excitement he might have felt in a normal situation.
The car pulled up in front of the giant gates that lead up to the place his mother was locked up in.
His mother, Lee Sookyung, was a brilliant person.
And Kim Dokja was trembling at the thought of visiting her.
He had visited her before. He had done it for years. She never spoke to him and they only sat in
silence with him struggling to awkwardly fill in the silence, but it was the only time he could see
her, so he took the chance. He never missed a date, even if he felt sick the whole day.
The book had ruined his life. But she had done it to save him. Kim Dokja could take it, she was
staying behind bars for saving him, so he could bear it. . .If only she would speak to him, no at
least look at him as she used to before. . .
It felt insulting to go up to the drab room with the glass partition, with people who said wanted to
become his parents on one side and his own mother on the other.
Hades and Persephone waiting in the back as Kim Dokja spoke to his mother first. His voice was
cracking with every other word he was speaking, his eyes were trembling and his nose was
stinging slightly.
"Mom. . .I got into a little accident a while back," he said. He didn't want to tell her the truth. He
wasn't planning to stick around when he jumped off the ledge. This was something he hadn't
planned or even thought about.
"And I met these people at the hospital," he nodded at the couple standing behind him. "And they
say. . .They say. . ."
He couldn't say those words out so he settled with just, "They have something they want to say to
you."
It was Kim Dokja's turn to stand aside while the adults did the talking.
He was watching his mother's reaction all the time. When she found out that these people wanted to
adopt Kim Dokja, her eyes widened—the most reaction he had seen from her in years.
When her eyes moved to him, Kim Dokja looked up hopefully. He realised that he would be
perfectly alright if she said, "No, he is my son".
Then she looked away.

Kim Dokja waited, there was a lot to talk about and he then found out that their 'translator' was
actually a 'lawyer' and was here to explain everything properly.
When it all ended, with Hades and Persephone promising that they will love Kim Dokja as their
own, Lee Sookyung spoke for the first time in a while.
It had been so long since he had heard her voice. Kim Dokja found himself holding his breath
unconsciously.
"If that's what you want," Lee Sookyung said. "If that's what you think will work for you, do it. It
does not make any difference to me."
Kim Dokja felt it would have been much better to experience falling over and over again from that
classroom window instead of having heard this.
"M-mother?" he croaked out. "Mom, wh—What do you mean by that?"
Lee Sookyung looked at him for a second, then turned away.
It seemed as though all the energy in his body had been sucked away in an instant. He felt numb all
over and couldn't even move a muscle.
The lawyer guy lead him outside, back into the car and told him something before going back in.
Kim Dokja wasn't really sure what had happened, except that his mother hadn't really wanted him
all this time.
It took him around five minutes to realise that he had been crying and that was the reason he was
brought back to the car.
It made sense if he thought about it.
He had ruined her life, hadn't he? Why would she want him? She was probably forced to stay in an
unwanted marriage because she had him and was forced to raise him. Then she couldn't even
escape the scrutiny of the public because she had killed someone in front of a child, and the actual
person who had to be blamed for all of this was barely discussed. Even when she bled her tragedy
onto paper, they took everything that she made because they claimed that he needed financial
assistance.
Kim Dokja was a cursed child who brought only doom to anyone who knew him.
When the adults returned, Persephone looked like she had been crying. She got into the car and
held his face in her hands. Then she kissed the top of his head.
In a trembling voice, in Korean, she said, "Your mother loves you very much."
"It's good news," the lawyer said breaking the atmosphere. "The adoption process should go
smoothly. There is nothing to worry about."
Ah. . .Oh, okay. So that's what it was. . .Persephone was going to be his mother now and she was
probably very happy. . .He'd—He had thought that. . .that. . .
Kim Dokja had been crying all the way back to the hospital. At some point, he fell asleep out of
sheer exhaustion and Persephone let him lay his head on her lap.
The lawyer had been right. The adoption process went very smoothly. His new parents (it all still
felt very weird) said that they didn't want to change his name and that Kim Dokja was perfectly
fine.
Kim Dokja was a bit worried about going to a foreign land, but all those worries were shattered
when they told him that they were staying here. They could attend to their business just fine and
they didn't mind staying in South Korea for him.
On the day of his discharge, he plucked up the courage and asked a nurse who knew how to speak
English so that he could tell them something, and thank them for everything. He got the words and
their pronunciation down, memorized it and practised it out loud.
The nurse told him brightly that he was already like his new mother. Apparently, Persephone had
also dragged the director to the side before coming to see him and asked him to tell her the proper
Korean for her introduction and had practised it for a while before actually coming in.
Kim Dokja vowed to learn English properly so that he could communicate with them. As of now,
he still wasn't sure.
"Thank you for having me," he told the couple, in the English he had learnt. His pronunciation was
all messed up. "I will do my very best to be a son you will be proud of."
He gave them a full ninety-degree bow that made them panic and asked him not to get hurt by
straining himself.
Persephone gathered him up into a hug and even Hades placed his hand on his head, giving him
the softest look he had ever seen on that man's face.
And like that, Kim Dokja had new parents at the age of sixteen.
High school was hell.
He had thought that his life before was shit, but this was just horrible.
He went to a normal high school, like a normal kid even though his parents wanted to send him
somewhere else. Kim Dokja didn't ask for a lot, so when he did request something they let him
have it.
He didn't say anything about him being adopted or his newfound wealth, it wasn't his anyway.
But his story about being a murderer's son was already well known and there was nothing he could
do about it.
His new parents weren't often in the country; they did call him daily, sent him gifts, and try to be
home as much as they could, but running a gigantic company was bound to keep them busy.
Kim Dokja wasn't complaining. His family life was the best he could have ever asked for.
It was just school that was shit.
At first, he gave excuses like he got hurt while playing sports, or that he got into a scuffle with his
friends, or some other excuse.
Kim Dokja knew that if the caretaker found out that he was injured often, he would tell his parents,
so he learnt how to treat and hide the injuries himself.
He wasn't planning on telling anyone. If possible, he never wanted Persephone and Hades to find
out. They were already doing so much for him. They fed him clothed him, gave him a place to live,
and gave him love. They had even sort of moved to live in a foreign country just so he would feel
comfortable.
He couldn't burden them with his own issues and insecurities. Those were his to deal with. He just
wasn't very good at dealing with them.
He wasn't very sure what had brought about the conclusion, but when he picked up the little box
cutter lying on his table among his other stationery. Maybe it was curiosity of some sort, why did
people actually do it? Then he wondered if he actually deserved to attempt something like that,
something he had only ever read about. What set the bar anyway? How much did he have to suffer
to actually deserve the things he was given? Would he feel better if he hurt himself? If he paid with
his pain, would it finally make him feel a little less guilty?
Thoughts muddled up in his head and it made his head hurt terribly until he brought the silver steel
blade to the skin on his forearms and pressed it in. It took him a while to figure out how to slice
properly, but after that, blood flowed freely.
Suddenly he snapped out of it and panicked. He cleaned up the blood as quickly as he could and
patched himself up so that no one could see what he had just done. No one would notice anyway,
he was often covered in bandages.
It became a habit very quickly.
He didn't want it to, but some sick part of his heart felt calm when he sliced open his own skin.
Inner forearms, to out, and then to his thighs. The cuts started getting deeper, the older ones
starting to turn into faint scars that even stood out on his pale skin.
It became his go-to.

Some people drank, some smoked or used drugs.
This was his vice.
It was something he felt very guilty about. It felt like he was committing a horrible sin for which
he will be punished greatly.
Kim Dokja, simply put, wasn't very smart or athletic. He couldn't even stand up for himself. He
trembled when someone mentioned his mother, he cowered when punches and kicks rained down
on him. He wasn't a writer, but with his experience as a reader, he could borrow words and spin an
elaborate heartwrenching essay as to why he was like this. But simply put, he felt like killing
himself every single day.
Someone who was so cowardly like him still had the arrogance to pick up that flimsy steel cutter
and carve up the skin that two wonderful people were doing their best to keep healthy. Why
couldn't he just be satisfied with all that he had? He didn't think he was this greedy. What more
could he possibly want? Why couldn't he just be happy?
And he hated that.
He hated that every evening when his parents would call him, and ask him how his day was, he
would have to lie.
He was such a disappointment. Even after all they were doing for him, he couldn't even want to
live for them.
No wonder his own mother hadn't wanted him.
He wouldn't want him himself.
They caught him because he had gone a bit too far one day.
Kim Dokja had locked himself in the bathroom as usual, for his after-school stress reliever as he
had dubbed it, when he made one cut too much, a bit too close to the vein on his wrist and fell
unconscious.
When he woke up, he found himself in the hospital, bandaged all over his wounds and an IV
attached to his hand.
When he realised this, Kim Dokja wanted to rip the needle out of his hand and stab himself in the
neck with it. He had attempted to do it as well, but the nurses in the room restrained him.
Apparently, the caretaker got worried about Kim Dokja and tried to call him to check on him.
When he didn't respond, he broke down the bathroom door and found Kim Dokja bleeding out onto
the marble floor.
He had fainted out of blood loss and made it just in time to the hospital. The slits on his wrist
would have really killed him, had they been a bit late to get him treated.
He couldn't face Persephone and Hades after that.
They rushed back to South Korea and Kim Dokja simply couldn't bring himself to look them in the
eye after that.
Persephone's sweet words felt like poison and he wanted Hades to stop looking at him like that.
"My sweet child, this mother is so sorry. I never noticed," was what Persephone had sobbed into
his hands, pressed against her lips. He never showed them, of course, they didn't notice. There was
no reason to feel guilty. This was his choice, he had done this to himself so please, please don't
take the blame that was meant for him.
"Rest," Hades told him, a melancholy look in his eyes. "Worry about nothing, and rest. It will be
fine."
He would have much rather they hit him, and called him ungrateful and useless instead of this.
He got wheeled off to psychotherapy and there they found he had way too many issues that he had
actually realised apparently.
Kim Dokja wasn't very cooperative. Not because he didn't want to try, he just couldn't.
On his eighteenth birthday, when he was still sitting in his room, staring blankly at the walls,
Persephone and Hades brought him a cake to his room. It was pre-sliced, he noticed.
They hadn't decorated the house like they had done last year, but Persephone was still smiling
brightly. Kim Dokja saw the sadness behind her smiles though and somehow Hades was much
easier to read now. He really didn't understand them. Why were they still keeping him? Even after
he had caused them all this trouble?
They settled down, put his cake on the little tea table that had been brought into the room weeks
ago and sang the birthday song. . .In Korean.
His adoptive parents had put a lot more effort into learning his native language than he had done to
learn theirs.
With a growing lump in his throat, Kim Dokja watched the flames all around the cake. They had
actually put eighteen candles, he counted.
He wished he could change the storyline somehow. He wished he could suddenly give himself
some incurable disease that was slowly killing him. The reason he had tried to do what he did to
himself didn't seem justified enough. He didn't deserve to want to escape when he was making
others miserable.
He blew out the candles and didn't make a wish. He knew what he would wish for if he tried, and
he couldn't do that to the couple sitting in front of him.
"Adult at last, are you going to drink, our cute son?" Persephone said, patting his cheek gently.
"Better at home than outside," Hades muttered.
"Should we call Dionysus?" Persephone suggested as a joke, Hades stiffened regardless. She
chuckled and turned back to Kim Dokja, "Is there anything you want, Dokja-yah?"
Kim Dokja shook his head.
They ate the cake slowly, Persephone was talking to fill the silence. She spoke about Dionysus
whom she had taken a liking to because people kept thinking he was her illegitimate son. Hades
disliked him, not because of the rumour, but because of the way he behaved.
Persephone said she wanted to take Kim Dokja to their country sometime soon, maybe for the
holidays or something.
Kim Dokja barely managed to swallow three little bites of his cake before he felt his composure
crumble.
He felt like there was gravel scratching his throat when he spoke, but he managed to choke out, his
voice hoarse having not used it very much in the past few days; it sounded jarring to him,
"Wouldn't it be better to throw me out now? Wh-why are you. . .I don't understand. . ."
"Do you—Are you sure you still want me?"
The little paper plate on Persephone's lap with her slice of cake fell to the floor as she jumped to her
feet and wrapped Kim Dokja up in the tightest embrace ever.
"Yes," Persephone said and Kim Dokja felt his shoulder getting damp. "There will never be a time
when we will not want you."
Kim Dokja closed his eyes.
"The first time I saw you," Persephone was saying and Kim Dokja heard every little quiver in her
voice. "I was sure you were a special boy. . .The next time I met you, I felt it in my soul that you
were my son to love and adore."
Hades wasn't a person who cared much for physical touch. The only person he would hug was his
wife. It seemed that the exception extended to his son as well. Kim Dokja didn't remember if he
had felt a father's affection as a child. Hades could come off as cold and indifferent, sure, but at
least that assured that he wouldn't be subjected to burning rage like before.
Hades was cold to the touch, while Persephone was warm, but his arms enclosed them both. Kim
Dokja found his face pressed into the man's chest, a heavy hand on the back of his head.
"You are our son," Persephone said, pushing his hair up and pressing a kiss against his forehead.
"That's all that matters."
"Nothing else will ever matter," Hades finished and Kim Dokja felt the man's chest rumble as he
spoke, making something in his heart snap.
Kim Dokja let out an ugly sob, a sound he didn't know he could make and cried out loud for a long,
long time.
He had a high fever for the next few days.
Once he was completely recovered, he decided to put a little bit more effort into therapy even if it
felt like he couldn't breathe every time he was in that room.
He called them mother and father for the first time (it had always felt awkward doing it so far so he
had never used that term to refer to them). Persephone burst into tears immediately and Kim Dokja
felt like shit. They had been doing so much for him and look at what he had done.
He wasn't miraculously cured as he had hoped, but the pills made it a bit easier. If he noticed that
sharp objects or anything else that he could have used to harm himself were all removed from his
vicinity, then he pretended like he didn't.
Hades and Persephone decided to leave South Korea with Kim Dokja. He could always return to
his homeland, they just thought he would like to have a change of scenery.
They picked Japan because Kim Dokja liked reading the manga they had, and their food habits
would suit his tastes easily. Kim Dokja decided not to tell his adoptive parents about the history
between the countries.
And so off he went, packing to Japan.
Japan sure was a nice place. Much nicer than he had actually expected it to be.
And it was normal. Way too normal that his manga-addled brain took a while to get out of the
fictional world in his head and process how the real world worked.
Home schooling was an option and Kim Dokja realised once more just how privileged he was for
that. Personally, his adoptive parents were fine with him not giving the CSAT, but Kim Dokja was
of the opinion that it was something he couldn't miss out on, it was very important for his future
endeavours, whatever he wanted to do. He didn't think it was that good of an option to switch his
whole education stream now, he was almost done with his schooling anyway. He didn't want to go
through all of that again.
Kim Dokja tried to live better.
He spent afternoons with Persephone, talking about her plants and teaching him how to make tea.
She kept taking him out to eat delicious meals every chance she got. Kim Dokja wasn't eating well
enough in her eyes, just not enough for a growing boy his age.
He stuck around a lot more with Hades now, watching and learning the ropes of the business. Kim
Dokja honestly thought they would keep him away from it, he wasn't particularly smart or
anything. Hades seemed to notice his distress and declared that he was the heir to UW, and he had
been so from the moment he agreed to become their son.
Hades was quiet, but that didn't mean he was indifferent. He noticed even the slightest changes and
Kim Dokja was very surprised to realise that Persephone was right in saying that her husband was
shy.
Kim Dokja worked harder to be deserving of all that he received. He studied hard and asked his
tutors for advice on any extra classes he could take to improve. Kim Dokja wasn't gifted, so he
would have to put in more work in order to reach that standard. He said he would be a son his
parents could be proud of and he wanted to keep that word, even though he hadn't done it so far.
Then he came across something that made him 'happy' for the first time in a while.
He found a web novel, that was getting published daily. What caught his attention was the
protagonist's name. Yoo Joonghyuk. He read it out of curiosity and was soon hooked.
It was an excellent story.
It wasn't a never-seen-before plot, but the way it was written and the characters felt and acted as
though they were really people.
Others didn't seem to like it as much as him because they kept dropping it by the first few chapters.
They claimed the plot was repetitive and the story was going nowhere. Well, yeah, that's the whole
point. The protagonist was a regressor, he was going to live through the same shit over and over
again. And if the readers felt it was tedious, the writer was doing an amazing job.
The story had around a hundred chapters so far and he finished reading all of them within a couple
of days.
Funny thing, the protagonist sort of behaved like how he thought Yoo Joonghyuk would. Except
protagonist Yoo Joonghyuk had severe regression depression, a term he had dubbed for the trauma
the man had.
Kim Dokja hadn't forgotten about Yoo Joonghyuk, no. He was just too preoccupied with his own
head to have tried looking for the boy.
He finally gathered himself and searched the guy's name online. It wasn't exactly easy, and Kim
Dokja didn't know much about the gaming scene or how the streaming system actually worked.
It took him a while to finally find Yoo Joonghyuk.
He wasn't exactly very creative when it came to naming his channel. YJH, really? He was a
streamer who started a couple of years back and had a loyal fanbase that seemed to grow at a slow
but steady pace. Kim Dokja wanted to be one of those people who were there from the start, but
since he couldn't do that, he promised he would stay till the end.
"He seems familiar," Persephone said over teatime when Kim Dokja told her what he had been up
to recently, and showed him a stream of Yoo Joonghyuk's.
"He...um, used to be my friend," Kim Dokja told her. "The one who was there at the hospital with
me."
Persephone hummed lightly for a few seconds, trying to recollect exactly where she had seen the
boy using the hints Kim Dokja had given. Then finally she laughed, "The boy Hades thought was
crushing you?"
"What?"
"Hahaha, that's a really funny story," Persephone said, reminiscing. "Your father thought the boy
was trying to choke you and was worried, he didn't know if he should step in or not."
". . .I can see why he would have thought that," Kim Dokja admitted. "Yoo Joonghyuk wasn't the
best at it, and he always kept glaring. Makes sense."
Persephone's smile widened.
"Aren't you going to contact him?" she said. "I remember you said you had his contact number. It
is the same boy, isn't it?"
Kim Dokja nodded. "I think I might have forgotten his number. . .But it's fine. I'll support him over
comments."
"Why not send him an email?"
"I don't want to bother him. He might not even remember me."
Persephone didn't push it, but watched the rest of the stream with Kim Dokja. He didn't think she
understood what was going on but tried watching it because her son found it interesting for some
reason.
"Do you want to start this streaming as well?" she asked him.
"No, I'm no good at games," Kim Dokja laughed a little. "I'm just watching because of this guy,"
he nodded at his phone where they could see Yoo Joonghyuk's concentrated scowl as he slammed
away at his keyboard, shooting down enemies in the game.
"He's actually good at it," Kim Dokja said, feeling as though he had to defend Yoo Joonghyuk's
honour somehow. "He's winning here," he said, a bit desperate, unsure of how else he should
explain it.
Persephone laughed loudly and pinched his cheeks, saying, "Our son can be so cute sometimes."
Kim Dokja wasn't sure what about him was cute. He was more dull and gloomy if anything. But
then again, Persephone called the big, dark and brooding Hades adorable.
"I found a novel recently," Kim Dokja said, finding a different but similar topic to talk about. "The
protagonist has the same name. Yoo Joonghyuk. And he even acts like the real guy sometimes,
making me think the author actually knows him in person."
"Is it another fantasy novel?"
Kim Dokja nodded. He went on to summarize the basic plot, and then proceeded to talk on and on
about the characters and the writing style.
He didn't know he could talk that much, nor did Persephone if he went by the look on her face. She
looked happy and Kim Dokja knew for a fact that she would go to her husband the first thing and
tell him that Kim Dokja was actually taking interest in something again.
Maybe it was because he looked a bit more alive, that they let him go out alone. He went out for
walks, doing nothing but listening to some music and observing his surroundings.
He had done it often for him to lose the initial anxiety he had.
So, who would have thought he would get ambushed by a group of robbers with knives? He was
even stuck with a Japanese woman who looked just as terrified as him.
Kim Dokja felt he should have exercised more in his life. His stamina and strength were honestly
shit. He wouldn't last a second against a kitten, let alone hulking men brandishing knives.
When he saw a flash and a curtain of azure fly past his face, his first thought was as if he had
somehow transmigrated into some story.
Hey, it was justified. There was this stunningly handsome man, with long flowing turquoise hair
tied into a ponytail he had only seen on the Murim-style novel covers. He was even wearing robes
to match the whole vibe. But nothing could take away from the sword he was holding.
He was holding a fucking sword! An actual, real sword, in real life, slicing up real humans!
Were swordsmen actually common? Did people actually carry around and use real swords these
days?
It was a big bloody mess by the end of it and very surprising that there were no casualties.
The Japanese woman who was with him was thanking the man, whom Kim Dokja now noticed
was surprisingly short. He didn't mention it, short or not, he could still slice him up like sashimi if
he wanted to and so he was going to keep his mouth shut.
Kim Dokja was still learning Japanese, so he could only understand a little of what the woman was
saying, bowing and thanking the swordsman for coming to help her when she called.
Ah, so she had called for this guy. Cool, cool. Nice timing, nice Japanese lady, any later and Kim
Dokja would have died when he was least prepared for it.
Then the woman turned to him, grabbed his hand and shook it vigorously while thanking him. . .?
Why? What did he do?
Apparently, he had pulled her away from danger one time. . .Ah, well, suppose that did happen.
She was standing right next to him and the people were being pretty disgusting. All Kim Dokja had
done was grab her arm and tug her back a bit. . .
The adrenaline rushing through his veins due to the adventurous situation he had found himself in a
few moments ago, Kim Dokja, with all the confidence he could ever muster, requested the stranger
to teach him.
The stranger looked at him like he was an insect and told him to fuck off. . .Well, he said it very
elegantly and using a lot more words, but the meaning was more or less the same.
"I want to learn to protect myself," Kim Dokja tried his hand, using his broken Japanese. "I am
weak in both mind and body, but I want to get stronger. I do not wish to live this way. I request
you, please, teach me."
Looking back, that was a very embarrassing day, one that Kim Dokja would never forget. It even
made him kick his blankets in shame. What the heck was he doing sounding so fucking cringe? It
might be true, but who the fuck talks like that?
It worked anyway, if that counts for anything.
It took two hours for Kyrgios Rodgraim to look him up and down, criticizing just how scrawny he
was until he finally gave in and accepted Kim Dokja as his disciple.
He thought his parents would put up a stronger fight when Kyrgios demanded that Kim Dokja stay
at his 'school' as he learnt. It wasn't exactly a school, it was just his old traditional Japanese-styled
house, but since he had no other disciples other than Kim Dokja, it worked just fine for a school. It
had everything required anyway.
They seemed to trust Kyrgios as much as they trusted their own aides. And since it was the first
time that Kim Dokja had shown interest in some sort of physical activity, and because he looked
way too sickly otherwise, they thought this would be good for him, so they let him.
Was he really that sickly looking?

He thought he passed as average. . .Persephone called him her beautiful boy sometimes, but he
supposed that was just her seeing things through a loving mother's gaze rather than objective truth.
Even Yoo Joonghyuk had called him a ghost. . .
Kim Dokja decided not to think about distressing things. He already had enough issues to deal
with, and he was not looking forward to adding more pills to his list because he started having
issues with how he looked.
Kim Dokja packed his few important things and went off with Kyrgios Rodgraim.
Chapter End Notes
I feel like it was a bit rushed and kinda screwed, but whatever
I'm writing because I want to have fun
Chapter 16
Chapter Notes
Within the first few hours of their new master-disciple relationship, Kyrgios Rodgraim and Kim
Dokja got into an argument. They hadn't even stepped out of the house. Kim Dokja wasn't sure if
the fact that Kyrgios knew Korean properly was a good thing or not, he couldn't blame the
communication gap anymore because there was none.
Kim Dokja had just thought of something important and asked, "Do you have a wifi router at your
house, master? If you don't, we might have to set one up."
"You won't bring such a useless thing, the only purpose it serves is to distract," Kyrgios stated and
Kim Dokja wondered if it was too late to back out now.
"What do you even mean by that?" he cried. "I literally need the internet to survive."
"You do not need it to survive," his master scolded. "Stupid disciple, what you need to survive is
air, water and food."
"Okay, maybe not literally, but I need a proper internet connection," Kim Dokja argued back. "I've
still got my classes to attend."
"What classes?"
"I'm eighteen. I still have my studies left, not to mention my language lessons. They're all done
online."
". . .You are eighteen?"
"Oh, my god. . .I know I look tiny, but I really am eighteen!"
It took a long time to convince Kyrgios to get a damn router set up and get a connection. How did
this old man even survive this long?
His master demanded that he submit to him the list of all the things he needed done, including all
the timings of his classes, what they were and why he had to study them.
Kyrgios wasn't big on the therapy, Kim Dokja figured out soon enough because the man seemed to
think the time spent on that was wasted. He demanded why Kim Dokja needed a quack to tell him
about his own mind.
And Kim Dokja bravely responded that they were trying to keep him from listening to his mind too
much because the last time he listened to it a lot, he ended up trying to kill himself.
Kim Dokja wasn't sure if his master's method would work, but his therapy sessions were cancelled
by half and Kyrgios promised that he would work him to the bone so that he would so exhausted to
even think.
Kim Dokja's teaching began immediately, and it was merciless. The weighted training bands that
were clasped around his wrists and ankles made it super difficult to move, and his master had the
nerve to tell him with a scathing look that those were the lightest ones he had. He felt like he was in
the movie Karate Kid because Kyrgios was adamant about making him do the same basic stab a
fucking million times and then repeat.
Kim Dokja absolutely hated running around the house. There wasn't a lot of place and it was filled
with rocks and other rubbish that just blocked his way. He said that he could take the bus to a field
some distance away and run around the grounds, but that only got his training regime toughened.
"What are you doing?" Kyrgios brought down his fist on Kim Dokja's head, and if Kim Dokja
wasn't used to this, he would have almost bit his tongue off from the force. He had learnt to keep
his teeth clenched and to listen to his master's movements when he was taking his breaks. His
master loved finding him when he was resting and giving him a nice scolding for being lazy.
"Taking a break, master," Kim Dokja said. "I'll get back to training soon."
"And what reason do you have to watch that stupid boy?" Kyrgios snapped.
"Hey, Yoo Joonghyuk's gameplays are a work of art," Kim Dokja grumbled, defending his
favourite gamer. He got a slap on the head for it again.
"Be respectful, you lazy disciple," his master yelled. "You don't need two hands to hold your stupid
phone."
He threw him a set of hand strengtheners. Kim Dokja had seen better ones on the internet, to be
honest. The ones his master had weren't comfortable at all, they were made of wood and iron and
sunk into his palms painfully every time he used them.
Kim Dokja took it in his right hand anyway and gritted his teeth, trying to get it right. Why were
they so hard to move, damn it?
"Your grip strength is barely passable," his master was berating him as usual. "Switch hands every
five minutes. I will know if you forget because you are too busy watching someone sitting at a
computer."
"Yoo Joonghyuk trains," Kim Dokja said, his eyes still watching the teenager on his phone screen.
"He uses swords too."
He wasn't sure his master would believe him, so he went ahead and said, "Have you heard of the
Breaking the Sky Swordsmanship?"
"What?"
Kim Dokja paused the video and looked up in shock. He had never heard his master use such a
tone.
"What did you say?"
He looked angry.
"Breaking the Sky," Kim Dokja said lest he gets beat up for dilly-dallying. "His master's called
Namgung Minyoung, I think. I met her once, incredibly tall."
For one second, Kyrgios Rodgraim's eyes glazed over, the next he was raging again and Kim
Dokja got a few more knocks on his head and some more scolding and an increase in his training.
"And straighten your back before I rip your spinal cord out and fix it myself," was Kyrgios' final
words before he stomped off.
Kim Dokja sighed and went back to Yoo Joonghyuk's live stream. Now he was late, he had missed
the timing.
Kim Dokja had lived his whole life with people kicking him around. He had come to distinguish
true animosity from genuine concern. The people he was closest to all seemed to have issues
expressing their feelings honestly and had their own ways of doing it. There was his father, Hades.
Then his master. . .and well, if he were still with him, Kim Dokja was sure Yoo Joonghyuk would
be the same as well.
Kim Dokja made. . .friends? Well, not exactly friends, but acquaintances. Asuka Ren got his
number from his master (Master has a phone?! He didn't think he knew how to use one because of
his general distrust towards technology) and contacted him, telling him that she wanted to thank
him for what he had done a while back.
He met up with Asuka Ren and her friends who seemed very protective of her. Kim Dokja couldn't
care less if Izumi Hiroki sat a bit too close to Asuka Ren while squinting at him ever since he
mentioned that he was actually eighteen and just a bit smaller than his peers.
He did mind Michio Shoji mispronouncing his name on purpose though. He knew the man could
pronounce it right, he was just messing with him on purpose, all the while looking innocent and
harmless with his big eyes and glasses.
Kim Dokja decided he liked Asuka Ren the best of the trio. She was a few years older than him
and was a comic artist who was only eager to let him read her work when he asked.
The other two mellowed out as time passed as Kim Dokja seemed more interested in Asuka Ren's
story than her. They were pretty nice once they weren't trying to actively piss him off. He still liked
Asuka Ren better though.
"Can you draw, Dogeza?"
Kim Dokja let out a sigh. "I used to when I was a kid, I don't think that counts. I don't think I'll be
any good though."
"You won't know until you try," Izumi Hiroki said munching away on a wafer.
"Your Japanese has improved so much in a few days," Asuka Ren said brightly. "It seems Mr
Kyrgios is teaching you well."
"Ah, I suppose. . .yeah," Kim Dokja said, thinking back to all that he had to go through.
"If he gets angry at you, then it means he likes you," Asuka Ren assured him. Kim Dokja had
pretty much figured that out for himself.
"You seem to have enjoyed yourself, lazy disciple of mine," his master was waiting for him when
he returned in the evening.
"I am not lazy, master," Kim Dokja grumbled taking off his shoes, making sure not to slouch his
shoulders and give Kyrgios an excuse to drag him off outside.
"Where do you think you are going?"
". . .To take a bath?"
"And then go to bed immediately? Not a chance! Eat first."
Kim Dokja was dragged away to have an early dinner because his master caught onto his habits
and wouldn't let him skip his meals, even if he wasn't feeling hungry. It didn't happen often
because he was shit tired from all the training he was forced to do and would scarf down anything
he could get his hands on. But today was technically a cheat day and he had been at a cafe all this
time. He wasn't hungry.
Kim Dokja would hit the hay immediately after taking a hot bath because he was so exhausted, and
now after a couple of months, he became conditioned to getting sleepy after bathing.
On the times he accidentally fell asleep without eating dinner, his master would yell at him the
next day because he wasn't able to bring himself to wake up his disciple who was sleeping
peacefully.
"You still have important tasks to do. Don't you dare sleep until I give you permission."
"Yes, yes, my esteemed master, this disciple shall do as you say," Kim Dokja said dejectedly as he
trudged to his room.
"You and that mouth of yours. You'll end up as minced meat one day," Kyrgios was saying all the
while. Kim Dokja left the door to his room slightly ajar so he could listen to his master speaking.
Sometimes things that his master said would make no sense to him, so he would jot them down
once he was in the privacy of his room and try to figure out what the fuck he meant.
"Just say that you're worried, master," Kim Dokja drawled.
Kim Dokja, after getting a slap on his back because he had tried to sneak into bed, was dragged out
onto the veranda. Kyrgios was watching him closely as he applied the ointment to the scars he had
made on his own body. Kim Dokja forgot to do this sometimes and when his master found out, he
was scolded for days on end.
"You, are you a child? Taking care of your wounds is important," his master was snapping at him.
"What is the point of trying to become stronger when you let your old wounds remind you of your
weakness?"
"Weren't you the one who said I should try harder since I was weak?" Kim Dokja retorted.
"And what's wrong with what I said?"

"Nothing."
"That snarky mouth of yours, learn to keep your tongue in check, stupid disciple."
"How are you calling me stupid and clever in the same sentence? That's like an oxymoron."
Kim Dokja got clocked on the head. It was lighter this time, he winced and groaned anyway.
The sun had set a while ago and the orange sky had turned a deep purple, stars beginning to bloom
across its vast expanse.
"Why do you have that stupid look on your face again?" Kyrgios said as Kim Dokja screwed the
tube of ointment shut.
"Nothing, I was just thinking," Kim Dokja shrugged. He was kept from leaving by his master's
glare.
"And what were you thinking?" Kyrgios demanded.
"Nothing special," Kim Dokja muttered. "I just thought of something when I was with Asuka Ren
and her friends today."
"Is it going to get you killed?"
"No, of course, not!"
"Hmph."
Kim Dokja went to sleep, thinking about something Izumi had said. The man had said it as a
random comment in the passing, but Kim Dokja was thinking about it.
"Do you think it would be alright for me to get tattoos?" he said on his weekend afternoon dates
with his parents.
They had finished having lunch, and were halfway done with dessert when Kim Dokja dropped the
question.
As he had expected, his parents didn't even try to dissuade him. If that's what he wanted, they
always said. Kim Dokja wondered if they'd stop that once he began asking for a lot of things. He
wasn't going to try to find out, he didn't have a lot of things he wanted anyway. They already gave
him all that he needed.
"I want to get these things covered up," he muttered, raising his arms a bit.
The looks on their faces changed.
"No," Hades said immediately.
"It might not be safe," Persephone translated what her husband was trying to say. "You are still
hurt, and it might cause an infection or make it worse. We have to consult a doctor first."
Persephone was right, the doctor did forbid him from doing something so ridiculous when it had
hardly been months since the wounds healed.
So did the tattoo artist his parents found for him. Kim Dokja felt terrible when the burly man gave
him a withering look when he told him about it. He supposed it was pity mixed with exasperation.
"How old are you? Are you of age yet?"
"I am eighteen," Kim Dokja shrugged.
"By which system?" the man said. "I've heard you South Koreans have a different age counting
system."
Ah. . .In that case, he was technically seventeen, internationally.
"I'm still a South Korean citizen," Kim Dokja chose to say instead. The tattoo artist looked like he
might have kicked Kim Dokja out of his workroom if it wasn't for the fact that Persephone and
Hades had paid him a lot. Kim Dokja did hear the man mutter something about "rich kids". He
didn't want to respond to that. The guy was just lucky that Persephone hadn't heard him and was
busy flipping through the book with designs.
"I have something else I would like to start first if that's possible," Kim Dokja said slowly. His
guardians, Hades, Persephone and Kyrgios looked up.
Why were they all even here? He would have been fine on his own. Now it was starting to get
awkward. Persephone and Hades wanted to be there in case the whole process hurt and Kim Dokja
needed moral support. Kyrgios was still a mystery. What exactly did he want to do? Be there in
case his disciple made a stupid choice for a tattoo?
"Are you of age or not is my question?" the tattoo artist sighed.
"I am."
He was not, but objectively speaking, what were they going to do about it? No one was exactly
checking, now were they? And yes, it made sense, the artist could get in trouble, but then again,
who is going to find out...Ah, did this have something to do with his lanky stature? Come on! He
had started to bulk up a bit. This was nonsense.
"Excuse me," he muttered and pulled his shirt over his head.
No one made as much of a fuss as he thought they would. Through the mirror on the opposite end,
he could see Persephone's reflection. Her eyes were wide. Hades didn't show much of a reaction,
but Kim Dokja was used to his little habits now, his grip on his wife's hand had tightened and
Persephone was holding him back.
Kim Dokja didn't go around shirtless often, so it was obvious they wouldn't have seen it. His
master had seen it, of course; not that Kim Dokja preferred training shirtless either. He'd much
rather be completely clothed, but when he fell asleep in the bath one day, his master had to drag
him out before he actually drowned without realising it. That'd be an interesting way to go.
"This was back when we met at the hospital," Kim Dokja told his adoptive parents. "I thought you
might have found out from the hospital. I sort of fell from a height back then."
Kim Dokja thought he saw Hades' eyes shaking, and knew it would be similar for the others so he
looked at the tattoo artist instead.
They had probably figured out what had happened. . .He hoped they wouldn't blame themselves for
whatever he had done now, especially his mother, Persephone. It wasn't that they hadn't noticed or
that they had neglected him somehow. He had been like this from the start.
He had been damaged before they met him.
Kim Dokja sometimes wanted to go back in time, just so that he could stop himself from making
shitty choices. If he was allowed to go back in time, he would stubbornly refuse to agree to get
adopted.
Not because he wasn't grateful, no. He just felt they could do better than him. There was no need to
get tricked into taking home damaged goods, really. And if he was given a chance to stop that, he
would.
"It's been almost three years so it should be fine, right? I think it's all healed."
"We are still running this by your doctor," Persephone said sternly. "Why don't you pick a design
now? We can think about this slowly."
"Do you have a design in mind?" the tattoo artist asked. Kim Dokja looked at him and understood
that the man had probably seen many cases like his, coming to cover up scars and such and would
have pieced together the information he had. He saw pity in those eyes, and though he disliked it,
he knew there wasn't anything he could do about it. So he ignored it.
Kim Dokja shook his head and put his shirt back on. To be honest, he already had something in
mind, but he thought they would like it if he spent some time with them doing something so
mundane. Besides, he might find some better ideas.
He moved towards where his guardians stood and went through the designs with them for the rest
of the afternoon.
"Did you find anything you liked, Dokja-yah?" Persephone asked the switch to Korean taking him
aback slightly. They had been speaking in English so that he could practice his skills.
"I thought the wings were cool," Kim Dokja muttered. That should have sounded teenager-ish
enough, right? Or did he come off as a bit too childish?
Kim Dokja picked wings because of what he remembered thinking as he jumped. He wanted to fly.
Of course, he couldn't actually fly, but he wanted to cover up his mistakes with something that
would highlight something positive instead and ease his guilt. In a way, the scars on his back were
his doing as well.
"The wings were cool," Hades agreed from the front of the car where he was sitting and Kim Dokja
stared at his back. Did he just say that? Cool?. . .Oh, wow.
He pushed himself to speak some more. "I thought they would be meaningful. . .It's sort of
symbolic," he said, switching back to English.
Learning a new language was not easy. Reading and writing came quicker to him than speaking
did. He felt it was a bit embarrassing to attempt speaking, especially with his shitty pronunciation.
He still had trouble getting the intonations right for a few words, especially when there were
different ways people spoke English. . .People spoke all languages differently if he thought about
it. There were a shit ton of dialects in Korea itself.
The doctor gave the green light and Kim Dokja was pleased. Well, it was more of an orange light,
but Kim Dokja considered it an a-okay when compared to the previous time.
His happiness didn't last long though. Last time he had just scanned through the designs to
entertain his parents, this time he was actively looking.
"You don't like any, do you?" the tattoo artist said looking down his nose at Kim Dokja who
flipped the laminated pages.
All the tattoos of wings were either too detailed or looked unnecessarily emboldened. And they
were made for muscular men, Kim Dokja was not muscular. He had even seen a staff back at his
master's place that was thicker than his whole arm.
The ones for people with a slim build like him were the tattoos modelled by women. He would
have been fine with it if it had been good. The designs here were too thin, like line art. They would
look good on unmarred skin, not something like his. It defeated the entire purpose.
The tattoo artist dragged a wheeled chair towards where Kim Dokja was sitting and settled down in
front of him.
Kim Dokja felt this was done just to piss him off, but he kept it in.
Fifteen minutes passed in silence like that, the man frowning at Kim Dokja, Kim Dokja staring
with dead eyes at the designs. Hades had left the room to take a call and Kyrgios was walking
around the store, Persephone was looking at piercings.
"How about piercings?" she asked out of the blue. "I think earrings will look good on you,
sweetheart."
Kim Dokja saw the tattoo artist roll his eyes and he sort of wanted to punch the guy.
"I'll think about it, Mother," Kim Dokja said. Piercings? Why would he look good with earrings
anyway?
Another ten minutes passed, and this time Kim Dokja kept his silence just to piss the tattoo artist
off. And it worked, technically, because the man snapped and slapped a blank paper and pen in
front of Kim Dokja and asked him to draw what he wanted since staring at the same old design
books wasn't going to magically materialise new designs.
Persephone was at his shoulder immediately. "Did you not like any of them? I thought you were
having trouble choosing."
"I liked a few," Kim Dokja admitted. "I just thought they could be modified a bit. . .To suit me
better."
"Get it later," Kyrgios spoke up in a while. Kim Dokja turned around to look at his master who was
staring at a framed poster on the wall, with a man flexing his arm where the image of a sword
sinking into a bleeding heart was shown.
"When you gain some more muscle, get it then."

Will he ever gain some muscle though, was the question? Kim Dokja had accepted his fate with
resignation. Everyone said the same thing. He was probably just going to be like this forever.
"I think I'm fine, master," Kim Dokja said. "It doesn't matter to me."
Kyrgios turned his head to look at Kim Dokja and Kim Dokja did meet his gaze with resolution.
When his master looked away, Kim Dokja thought he looked a little bit pleased.
"You can always add on to it later," the tattoo artist said when Persephone looked like she was
reconsidering it.
"That sounds alright...So here's what the picture in my head looks like, I don't want them on my
arms," Kim Dokja said, pointing to a particular design in the book.
"And I don't want it this dark either."
"What do you mean dark?" the tattoo artist said and Kim Dokja felt he was just picking on him at
this point to be petty. Fine, he could match that.
"I mean dark."
"What?"
"What?" Kim Dokja said nonchalantly.
"Something like this instead," he found an image with more detailed, and delicate feathers than
whatever the dark, macho one was. He didn't think it would go well with him.
"I don't want spread-out wings, maybe like it's closed instead?"
There was a frown on the man's face and Kim Dokja was glad he had spent a lot of time on the
internet last night researching just how wings were supposed to be. For someone who wished to fly
one moment before he jumped, he was greatly uninformed about any kind of wings, natural,
animalistic, or engineered. . .Oh, he did know the fantasy kind though.
That's a bit embarrassing.
He pulled the sheet of paper towards him and picked up the pen.
"Pardon my skills, but I am not very used to drawing," he muttered as the tip of his pen touched the
page.
Kim Dokja thought his impromptu drawing was shit, Persephone's praises would make someone
think that he had just created a work to trump Michelangelo's David.
"I see why you are useless at the sword," Kygrios said loudly. "Your talents lie elsewhere."
"Does this mean I get an extra hour to relax, master?" Kim Dokja asked, not really hoping for
anything.
"It means your training is going to change from tomorrow," Kyrgios glared at him. "I could keep
training you as I do now, but your improvement is subpar. Even a cockroach would do a better job
at learning than you."
"If there were such a cockroach, I would like to have him as my master instead," Kim Dokja said
dully, clicking the pen cap over the pen.
"What?!" Kyrgios snapped.
Persephone was smiling, Kim Dokja thought it was her happy smile, not her scary one.
Kim Dokja got his first tattoo before he left for Greece for the holidays with his adoptive parents.
The tattoo artist seemed slightly taken aback that he hadn't cried or made too much of a fuss. He
said that Kim Dokja probably had high pain tolerance.
It did hurt, especially when the metal tip ran over his healed-up skin tissues, but it wasn't as bad.
He could bear it by gritting his teeth and taking a deep breath. Well, suppose that's what high pain
tolerance means.
Kim Dokja was finally allowed to take off his training bands and it took him a while to get used to
his limbs at a normal weight.
"Master, are you sure you don't want to come to see me off at the airport?" Kim Dokja joked. He
got threatened with hellish training once he returned from his vacation.
Greece was. . .something. The place was nice, it was wonderful, really. It was just a bit outlandish.
Hades and Persephone's actual home might as well have been a whole castle. They had actual
servants and butlers in uniforms, what the hell? Then Kim Dokja realised that they had toned it
down so that he wouldn't get overwhelmed and die of stress or something.
His first week in Greece was great. His parents took him to so many places with stunning views he
wasn't sure he would be able to see anywhere else.
His second week was weirder. He had to meet new people this time. There were apparently way
too many people who wanted to meet him. Only one was allowed though, but that was mostly
because he had snuck in to cause trouble. Persephone was just kind enough to let him stay.
Dionysus was a fucking weirdo, borderline creepy.
"Hello, new brother," the man with long, deep lilac-coloured hair had said, lying on Kim Dokja's
bed, in an open shirt, smirking at him as he got out of a shower.
It took Kim Dokja a few seconds to figure out who the fuck his supposed brother was. He
remembered Persephone's story about some funny guy and how Hades had called him someone
who could never behave himself.
Yeah, Dionysus checked all those boxes.
Kim Dokja was not even going to ask where that wine bottle suddenly appeared from.
"I heard you were old enough," Dionysus said. "Drink with me, newest member of the family. Let's
celebrate."
"A silent one, aren't you?" he said, sitting up on the bed when Kim Dokja didn't answer.
Couldn't this guy have shown himself in the morning, like a normal person? What the fuck, man?
Kim Dokja took his phone from the bedside table where it was charging and unlocked it, looking
casually unbothered. He thought it was best to text Hades and Persephone about this. There was a
suspicious man in his room, well, not all that suspicious, but no one had to know that.
Hades was there faster than the servants. And he was furious.
He almost punted Dionysus out of his property if it weren't for Persephone holding her husband
back. Even she looked a bit displeased by Dionysus' actions.
Once the man was gone from sight, his parents rounded on him and bombarded him with questions
about his wellbeing. Hades even asked if he had to be taken to see a specialist in case the incident
was traumatic somehow.
Traumatic?...No, it was just a bit surprising to find a wacko on his bed when all he wanted to do
was go to sleep.
A few days later he understood why his father might have asked that question. Dionysus was
fucking nuts. Completely off his rocker.
He was fine, he was mentally sound, really. He just didn't give a fuck. Consequences meant
nothing to him and he was just here for fun.
Kim Dokja had no idea why or how his life had come to this. Why were all the foreigners in his
life so strange?
"Do you know what the rest of Olympus thinks?" Dionysus was rambling away, lying across the
chaise near the window in the room Kim Dokja was given at his parents' house for his 'work'.
Honestly, Kim Dokja thought his bedroom was more than enough, it was way too large for him
and made him feel a bit strange. He wasn't used to staying in big rooms. He didn't take up a lot of
space anyway.
He just didn't know how to refuse when Persephone revealed that Hades had worked on making
the perfect office room for Kim Dokja for years.
It was the most beautiful room he had ever stepped foot in, so much so that Kim Dokja thought he
might have just walked into a novel. It reminded him of those ro-fan stories with the Renaissance
settings, except the architecture was more Greek than English Victorian style.
A wide shelf filled with books spanned two whole walls of the huge room. Kim Dokja could just
sit there and look at it forever, it seemed to have all kinds of books, from encyclopedias to fictional
novels and fairytales.
Kim Dokja did not have the heart to tell his parents, who had painstakingly, very obviously
thinking of him, fixed the bookshelves, that he preferred web novels.
He started reading the books his parents had gifted him anyway. It would be a waste to just let
them sit there and collect dust.
"The Underworld's got some issues with Olympus, simply put. It's always been like that."
Kim Dokja didn't even know what UW stood for until he came here.
When he took the initiative to try to get closer to Hades by trying to help him out, he meant help
out as in maybe arrange a few books or sort out papers by date or things like that. He didn't know
Hades would look so happy and declare that he was the heir to their business empire. Kim Dokja
was fucking clueless, he had no talent in such things, honestly.
His lack of knowledge was nothing but shameful. So he was collecting information now. Having
the right information could make or break, it was obvious that it should be his first step.
He could just ask Dionysus to tell him everything instead of struggling to get things done himself,
but he didn't trust Dionysus enough for that. The man could just blurt out nonsense at him just for
shits and giggles.
"Not everyone dislikes UW," Kim Dokja muttered, frowning at the notebook in front of him. He
really didn't appreciate Dionysus coming to bother him every time he was doing something
important. Physics was hard enough as it is, it became even tougher with someone's chatter as
background noise.
Kim Dokja thought he would be getting some special classes to learn the ropes of the business,
instead of the few hours he spent with Hades every week. He was wrong, obviously. He was still a
student and his job was to study. God, he hated studying!
Still, he trudged on, his grades were improving according to his teachers and he wasn't going to let
them drop.
Dionysus was laughing so hard that he almost spilt the red wine from the glass he was holding.
"Careful," Kim Dokja hissed. That chaise was his favourite place to sit in, like ever. He really
loved lying on it, relaxing, reading Ways of Survival or watching Yoo Joonghyuk's videos. If
Dionysus ruined that, he would kick the man out himself.
"You are still a child no matter how you look, huh?" Dionysus was chuckling. He leaned over to
the put his glass on the marble floor, before rolling over in the chaise to look at Kim Dokja.
What was this idiot talking about? Everyone said Kim Dokja looked like a little kid and this guy
was telling the opposite.
"You are adorable, brother. I just want to eat you up."
Kim Dokja pulled a face. "Say that in front of my father, if you dare."
Dionysus laughed some more, his hair flying around as he slapped his knee. What was so hilarious
about this? Seriously, Kim Dokja would lose his brain cells trying to figure this guy out. It was best
not to try at all.
"Let me tell you," Dionysus said once he was done laughing. "There might be people who don't
participate in the usual feuds between the big three, but if push comes to shove, they will never
take the Underworld's side."
"What about you?" Kim Dokja asked, putting his pen down. It was a very pretty pen, and very
expensive as well. Sleek black, with a silver rim and a glinting red jewel on the cap. Kim Dokja
asked if it was an actual ruby as a joke, and Dionysus said that his parents would never give him
something that wasn't a real one. That also meant all the other pens, with different coloured jewels
were all precious stones. Kim Dokja was very careful with those pens after that.
"Me?" Dionysus smiled. "I am never on anyone's side. There is only one thing I want, and that is
—"
"That's alright then," Kim Dokja cut him off. Dionysus raised his eyebrows.
"You are on no side and as long as I give you what you want, it should be enough," Kim Dokja
sighed, going back to his Physics homework.
"You are a strange one," Dionysus commented.
"Yeah, I come under exotic here," Kim Dokja said sardonically.
"Olympus thinks of you as nothing more than a stupid puppet they could use to take control over
UW," Dionysus said, rolling back to stare at the ceiling. He picked up his glass haphazardly and
Kim Dokja watched with a frown, worrying that his chaise would get stained.
"Olympus can go fuck itself," Kim Dokja grumbled. Olympus wasn't helping him with his Physics
homework, was it now? Fuck physics, man. This was bullshit. He'd much rather take Greek lessons
instead of this.
"I like you!" Dionysus said, his mouth pulling in a wide, toothy grin. "Only you could say
something so disrespectful about your family."
"Olympus is not my family."
"But it is your family's family, and that by association, makes it your family."
Kim Dokja knew there was some tension between the UW faction of Olympus, but nothing more
than that. His parents didn't seem very eager to get him in on whatever the issue was anyway. . .He
could try to talk to the butler and his father's aide to see if he could find anything more about this.
Olympus was a big group, with over twelve people who call the shots. The group could be divided
roughly into three factions, the big three, his father and his brothers, Zeus and Poseidon. Bad blood
between brothers created some issues within the group and apparently, everyone knew this.
"Come to me, if you need something brother," Dionysus offered. Kim Dokja wasn't planning on
taking up the offer ever.
"If they could, your parents would just wrap you up in blankets, make it so that you don't even have
to lift your own spoon to your mouth, do everything for you. Keep you safe, away from anyone's
sight so that they couldn't dare hurt you," Dionysus said and Kim Dokja thought he sounded a bit
tired.
"But you won't allow that, will you? You are one of those humans who want everything.
Desperately. I like humans like that."
What the hell's that supposed to mean? If someone said that he could just sit at home and chill, he
would love it. Why use did Kim Dokja have for 'everything'? Peace and quiet were enough. And
for someone to finish his stupid homework.
"You're drunk already?" Kim Dokja said dully. "I thought you boasted a higher tolerance."
"You are cheeky," Dionysus smirked. "Very rude. I like you very much."
Dionysus finally got chased out after Hades came to check on Kim Dokja and saw the man he
disliked occupying the chaise Hades had bought after a lot of thought and was well aware was his
son's favourite spot. Kim Dokja heard Hades say something in Greek, very scathingly, before
kicking Dionysus out.
Kim Dokja didn't know that people actually spoke Greek. In his head, it was an ancient language
that was dying. . .That was Latin, he had to remind himself. He was associating the language with
the mythology and the novels he knew.
Kim Dokja understood what Dionysus had meant when he said that Olympus only saw him as a
useable. It was exhausting meeting his family's family. His parents spotted similar looks of
exhaustion and displeasure as they attended a boring dinner at a long table. Dionysus was still
drinking and dressed the way he usually did, Kim Dokja wondered if the man was ever not
intoxicated.
Going back to Japan after his holidays was like a breath of fresh air. He would much rather deal
with his master and physical exercise than those Olympus bastards.
"You haven't moved a single day, have you?" his master said, glaring at him.
"What are you saying, master?" Kim Dokja lied. "I haven't missed a single day's practice."
His lie got caught and he got the punishment of running laps around the house until Kyrgios told
him to stop, which wasn't until hours after.
"Master, this is not healthy at all," Kim Dokja panted.
"You lying every time you open your mouth is not healthy either, lazy disciple," his master
scolded, sitting and watching Kim Dokja struggle to run. "I'll break your legs if you slow down."
"That's incredibly effective, now isn't it?" the words were out of his mouth before he thought about
it.
"If you can still blab, you can run some more."
Kim Dokja groaned, cursing his own mouth. Why couldn't it just shut up?
Motherfucking CSATs. Kim Dokja was going to stab someone at this rate, preferably himself. He
was flying back to South Korea just to write the test and return. It was bullshit. He could have just
switched to some other country's educational system when he had the chance, but no, he just had to
insist to continue. Of course, it made sense and was a lot easier for him, but the stress of the one
mega-important test looming around the corner was getting to him.
He found out that he didn't know a lot of things when it came to it. He had no clue that his parents
were paying a school to just pretend that Kim Dokja was a student there and going on with life as
though nothing had happened. What? Why did no one tell him?
Well, then he supposed looking back at him from a year back, he wasn't in a state where he would
have cared. He was just bound to feel shittier and that wasn't going to help him in the slightest.
This time his master was there to see him off at the airport. He kept lecturing about expanding the
smallest point or something, Kim Dokja listened to it but it made little to no sense in his head. Kim
Dokja deduced that he was trying to tell him not to worry and stuff along the lines of all the best.
He could have just told that normally.
It was Kim Dokja's first time travelling alone. Persephone wanted to come along, but Kim Dokja
assured her that he would be fine. Even Dionysus offered and Kim Dokja thought Hades was going
to beat the man up for even daring to think about it.
It was a bit funny.
Kim Dokja did invite his master to tag along, but he didn't look very eager to do so. He had a
slightly constipated look on his face whenever Kim Dokja mentioned going to South Korea.
Kim Dokja thought he did fine, but he was terrified to check the results. He didn't have high
expectations so he wouldn't be too disappointed once he got the results.
Once he got back to Japan, he had something to do.
"Nice place you've got. Have you settled here now?" he said walking into the newly improved
tattoo parlour.
"Might as well," the tattoo artist grumbled. They had a strange relationship now, both actively tried
to piss off the other, but Kim Dokja didn't think this guy was too bad.
"Your parents pay very well."
"I know that much," Kim Dokja sighed. It had taken a lot to convince this man to just tell him how
much Hades and Persephone were actually paying him for Kim Dokja's whimsical tattoos.
"You've bulked up since last time," the man noted. "Your master's working you right, I see."
Kyrgios did work Kim Dokja to his bone. And it came as quite a surprise when Kim Dokja shot up
almost twenty centimetres in height. He didn't think he would ever grow that tall. He wasn't the
six-foot standard yet, but compared to whatever he was before, this was a great, great
improvement. He could see some lean, toned muscles if he flexed his arms. It was a fucking dream
come true.
He was still thin though. That didn't seem to change much. His chest might have widened and his
limbs might have grown larger and stopped resembling twigs, but he didn't get all jacked up like
the gym dudes with six-packs.
He had to make do with what he got anyway.
"Let's get these done," Kim Dokja said raising his arms. He was wearing short sleeves for a change
and his scars were out on full display.
"Are they healed yet?" the man said, squinting suspiciously. "Don't you have to check with your
doctor? I'm the one who is going to get fired if your parents find out."
"Do you think my parents would have let me come here if they hadn't done all that?" Kim Dokja
drawled, taking out a folded piece of paper from his jeans pocket and heading towards the counter.
"Who knows? You are a trickster, if I've ever seen one."
Kim Dokja ignored that comment and said, "I've got some ideas."
"Your art has improved," the man said looking over at his drawings.
"I commissioned it," Kim Dokja said without missing a beat.
"Don't lie. No commissioned art will be so shabby."
"Maybe I commissioned a shabby artist. Why are you being so discriminatory?"
"How am I being discriminatory?"
"You are, do you not consider shabby art art? What if the shabbiness is just an art style?"
Kim Dokja could get on anyone's nerves within minutes. When he discovered this talent of his, he
started using it to its fullest. He loved doing that when he had to be dealing with the Olympus
pricks.
Kim Dokja got his arms done, thick lines and dark, thorny yet protective vines that reminded him
of Hades. Flowers with withering leaves, but brilliant petals that reminded him of Persephone. He
wanted to honour them on his arms.
It took a while to get it all done. And it hurt more than it did on his back, he supposed it was
because it hadn't been too long since the wounds had healed.
Or maybe he had gotten used to not being in pain now, that getting hurt affected him a bit more
than it would have in the past. It was a bit strange.
Hmm...His master was going to be pissed. He hadn't told him about his new tattoos. His arms were
going to be sore for a while and that meant no more training bands that could irritate his skin.
Kyrgios was going to find some new way to torture him now and Kim Dokja dreaded to think what
it would be.
Chapter End Notes
I like Kyrgios and Dokja's relationship a lot. Like the dynamic is just so fun. People
don't talk about it enough.
I thought hard about how to compensate for the fourth wall and translation skills. Then
I was like, you know what, plot convenience
That's how polyglot KDJ was born. Problem solved, it also makes him look cool, so
approved.
Chapter 17
Chapter Notes
Whaaat?
Double update?
Yes!
Check if you've read the previous one
Now that he was done with school, Kim Dokja had no idea about what he wanted to do.
He brought up the mandatory military service he would have to do and how he was technically
already conscripted by the government the second he turned of age.
His parents raised hell. There was no way they were going to send their son off to the army, even if
it was only for two years. Who knew what could happen in those two years? Persephone even tried
looking for a way to get him an exemption, but that didn't work out too well.
The next best thing for him to do was go to university. Luckily, he did just fine in his CSATs and
that wouldn't be a huge problem. His parents told him to pick any place he wanted to go to and they
would send him.
His master told him to go back to South Korea.
"You can keep running your whole life," the handsome man had said. "But it will make no
difference if you can't make peace with your origins."
Kim Dokja didn't know why he had to make peace with his origins. The country he had left had
nothing for him but horrible memories of being hated and unwanted. Why did he have to make
peace with that place?
So he stayed with his master in Japan for a while, until his parents called him to Greece. He wasn't
let off though, he was still required to do his training. Just because he wasn't under his master's
scrutiny didn't mean he could slack off.
Kim Dokja really liked Greece, he did. If only he didn't have to meet certain assholes. If he had to
listen to Apollo's bullshit one more time, he would punch the guy in the face. And Zeus could go
fuck himself (shouldn't put it past him though, if he could, he probably would, really).
"They have always been jealous," Dionysus told Kim Dokja as he snuck into Kim Dokja's room
again and was cuddling his pillows. "The Underworld is disconnected from the world when
compared to the other factions, but it is just as powerful. Powerful enough to rival both, if it
wanted."
Kim Dokja, who was used to Dionysus popping up randomly went to sit in the armchair in his
room and pulled out his phone. He had to read the latest chapter Tls123 had updated and he had
also missed Yoo Joonghyuk's stream earlier that day, he wanted to watch the recording.
"They don't understand how the Father of the Rich Night and the Queen of the Darkest Spring
don't want what everyone else wants."
Kim Dokja didn't care about what Olympus wanted. They could want world domination and he
wouldn't give two shits.
"They don't understand how UW has everything they have and can be the way they are."
"Are you insulting us?" Kim Dokja said sharply, looking up from his phone.
"It's the truth, not an insult, brother," Dionysus said, pressing his face into a pillow. "Olympus is
not a place made of love and happiness. Their prosperity comes at a cost. Olympus has always
been jealous of what your parents have."
"And now you are here, a stranger, and yet you receive more love from your parents than anyone
else ever has, even though they are bound by flesh and blood."
"Ask them to go take a few parenting classes," Kim Dokja said, going back to reading Regressor
Yoo Joonghyuk fighting to survive the apocalypse.
Dionysus was telling the truth. Their hatred did seem to stem from envy. But why did Kim Dokja
have to live with this bullshit? It was worrying his parents, and he didn't want that to happen.
After Hades and Persephone's official statement of all of UW's assets going to Kim Dokja was
announced, it kick-started an active hunt where every other damn bastard from Olympus wanted to
get rid of Kim Dokja.
He had seen Hades frown way more than usual at some news his aide brought while they were
having a family teatime. Persephone was spending way more time in her office than with her plants
in the greenhouse. Kim Dokja knew they were worried about him and were doing all this, going
through all this stress just so that no harm would befall him. And that bothered him so much more
than it should.
He realised Dionysus was right. Kim Dokja was one of those kinds of people who would never be
satisfied with what they had.
He could have given in to the polite threats Olympus put forward, asking him to promise that he
would cooperate with them. But that would mean ruining all of his parents' efforts and he couldn't
have that.
Fine, if Olympus continued ruining his parents' peace, he would just have to rip Olympus apart,
make it prettier to look at, pack it up and gift it to his parents.
Dionysus was a fucking madman.
Kim Dokja contacted him first, after having drafted up a nice plan that took a few months and went
to get Dionysus' help. The man had sent him an address and asked him to go there.
He should have suspected something was up when the man who usually turned up in his room at
odd hours invited him out somewhere.
It started out fine, Kim Dokja was taken to a fancy hotel and he thought, oh, maybe Dionysus
wasn't as crazy as he usually behaved and had understood that Kim Dokja had something important
to discuss with him.
He was led to a luxury suite with double doors on the twentieth floor and the steward who had
brought him there left with a bow.
Kim Dokja knocked on the door and waited. He knocked again when he heard no response.
After waiting outside for at least ten minutes, Kim Dokja got impatient and tried his hand at
opening the doors. The door swung open easily.
The sight that met his eyes stunned him to the bone.
That—That asshole! That fucker—Dionysus, that absolute piece of shit had invited him to a
fucking orgy.
Kim Dokja slammed the door shut and backed away immediately. What the fuck had he just
seen?!
He could call his parents right now and say, "Mama, I'm traumatized" and it would be true.
Even as he was processing this fucked up situation, the doors opened at there stood Dionysus,
draped in a green shawl with golden embroidery along the borders. The cloth did nothing to hide
the things that should be hidden, and there was a naked woman hanging onto Dionysus' arm.
Kim Dokja thought he was one second away from crying.
"Why did you leave?" Dionysus asked, as though it wasn't fucking obvious.
"Wh-why do you think?!" Kim Dokja spluttered, his voice rising in pitch because of the absurdity
of the whole situation.
Suddenly his hand was grabbed by another woman who had sauntered to the door and pulled him
in.
"Wha—No! I'm not—!!" Words failed him as he got dragged into the middle of whatever mess this
was.
Kim Dokja could feel the blood rushing to his face. What the actual fuck was this?!
He really was going to cry.
Kim Dokja knew that people his age were more than interested in things like sex and such. He
wasn't. He had responsibilities and couldn't find time to indulge in something that didn't make
sense to him. He wasn't exactly in a very healthy state of mind during his adolescence, when
teenagers were most curious about these things. His depression and suicidal tendencies had not
done anything to spike his sexual drive. He didn't even watch porn.
Sure, he read those explicit stories, but he only liked them if they contributed to the plot or did
something to establish the characters' relationship.
In his panic, he noticed Dionysus getting tangled in a very loud kiss.

"Dionysus, you jerk," Kim Dokja said, his voice cracking. "Where the fuck did you bring me to?"
Dionysus pulled away from his partner as Kim Dokja struggled to escape from the women who
wanted to 'get to know their lord's new friend'.
"Have you always been this innocent, brother?" Dionysus said, very amused by Kim Dokja's
reaction.
"I'm barely twenty, you asshole!" Kim Dokja roared. "I came here to talk about something
important, not this!"
"What could be more important than this?" Dionysus laughed and Kim Dokja screwed his eyes
shut so that he didn't have to see the lewd display in front of him. He could still hear everything
though.
Kim Dokja felt his knees grow weak. God damn bastard!
"I'm leaving," Kim Dokja announced with as much force as he could. "Contact me if you are
curious. The only reason I came to you first was because you claimed we were friends and I
decided to entertain that thought."
"Wait!" Dionysus cried, surprised. "You consider me a friend?"
"Not any more, you fucker," Kim Dokja hissed, marching out of the room with his legs that felt
like jelly.
Persephone was very concerned when she noticed her son looking pale and horrified when he
returned. She seemed to have gotten some sort of idea when the driver told her that he had gone to
visit Dionysus.
Kim Dokja had nightmares about that day for weeks.
He refused to meet with Dionysus for a long while after that. And every time he showed up, even
respectfully in his office, Kim Dokja called Hades on him.
Finally, Kim Dokja had to give up on his spitefulness and meet up with Dionysus again. This time
it was in a much nicer setting of Kim Dokja's office, with no one else but him and a fully clothed
Dionysus sitting six feet away from him.
"Elysium? You're going to take what's widely known as UW's failed project?" Dionysus said,
interested. "Aren't you still wet behind the ears for that? What? You are barely twenty?"
Kim Dokja glared at him.
"Alright, alright," Dionysus surrendered, smirking. "You want Elysium. Take it if you want. But
why do you think I will help you?"
"Because I can give you what you want," Kim Dokja said simply. He was bluffing, but no one
needed to know.
"I can also get what I want," Dionysus said with a shrug.
"No, you can't."
Silence blared for a few seconds before Dionysus chuckled.
"What could it possibly be? Something I want and not being able to possess?"
"Ecstacy."
Dionysus froze.
"You're going to get into a lot of trouble if people find all the illegal routes you get your stuff from.
I mean, I'm no druggie, so I can't relate to your desperation," Kim Dokja said nonchalantly, his pen
gliding over the paper he was practising writing on.
"Yes, your cult is all about freedom or whatever, but you won't be having freedom for long once
you get caught."
"It's not a secret in Olympus," Dionysus said, slumping back into his chair and adopting his
nonchalant look again.
"Yeah, but it's a huge weakness and everyone knows it," Kim Dokja said. "The only reason they let
you be is because you don't actively try to take over. The second you show even the slightest bit of
ambition they are going to tie you down."
"You told me I'm a person who can never be satiated. You're right. I'm way too greedy. . .You
know that because you are similar, aren't you?"
"I'm not similar to you, Dokja Kim," Dionysus told him, uncharacteristically serious. "I chase just
one thing, and one thing alone."
"If that's what helps you sleep at night," Kim Dokja shrugged. "I'll put it out here, help me get
Elysium and I'll get you a way to legally possess what you want. The research is big on that these
days, did you know?"
"You can't steal a pharma breakthrough from Apollo," Dionysus told him, taking a sip out of his
wine.
"Who is doing that?" Kim Dokja said blithely. "We are going to invest in psychedelics. There are
so many big parties who want to research that, for reasons noble or otherwise."
"And what is it you want in return, then, brother?" Dionysus sighed, pouring himself another glass
of wine.
"Your vineyards and breweries," Kim Dokja said. "Well, not completely ownership. Just to let
Elysium get a kickstart."
"Elysium's a hotel chain," Dionysus reminded him.
"Yes, a very sorry one," Kim Dokja didn't like disrespecting his parents' establishment, but
Olympus has a lot of control over the once-famous chained brand.
Kim Dokja got the idea while he was reading something online about tearooms becoming tourist
attractions in certain cities, and how once upon a time, Elysium boasted that popularity. He just had
to tweak it a bit to restore its old glory.
But he would have to first get it from Olympus, it shouldn't be too hard to wrench a crumbling treat
from their grubby hands. They would probably give it up easily because they believe that Kim
Dokja was attempting to impress his parents, caving under the pressure and impression of others
and biting off more than he could chew.
Dionysus may laze around most of the time, but there was a reason why he was considered as good
as holding a seat up with the others.
"Elysium may have started as UW's, but it belongs to Olympus," Dionysus informed. "Bits of
Elysium have been gifted to Zeus' children."
"It's not going to be that huge shares, is it?" Kim Dokja said dryly. "He has way too many children,
to share it among all of them...do they really have anything worth mentioning?"
"You are being very rude," Dionysus grinned. "Insulting Hera?"
"Since when did facts become insults?" Kim Dokja smiled back. "If someone considers it insulting,
they have some introspection to do about that."
"I like your rudeness," Dionysus said. "And your smile. It's very scary."
Kim Dokja got used to Dionysus' eccentricities. To the point where he could barge in through the
heavy double doors, ignore everything around him and get straight to the point.
Kim Dokja thought that he wasn't giving his mental fortitude enough credit until now.
"Are you done?" Kim Dokja said impatiently, sitting down on a leather loveseat waiting for
Dionysus to finish making out with the woman on his lap, moaning and crying.
"Why must you spoil my fun, friend?" Dionysus said as he pulled away grudgingly. "Why are you
here today?"
"I don't come here until it's an emergency. Time is of the essence." Kim Dokja said waspishly,
waving the folder of papers he had brought along with him. "Now, sign."
"You won't scam me, will you?" Dionysus said as the woman extracted herself from him with a
few whines and let Dionysus do his work.
"I want to be in an amicable relationship with you for as long as possible," Kim Dokja said. "Ours
will be based on trust for a long, long time, I believe."
Dionysus may come off as aloof, but he was quite careful when it came to things like this.
Kim Dokja waited for him to finish reading through the contract he had presented to the man. His
eyes could now flit over the scene unfolding before him in the room without his breathing straining
on the edge of what seemed like a panic attack and him starting to sweat and turn red.
Dionysus' cult members were rather respectful when it came to it. Once they'd figured out that he
was not interested, they would leave him alone and even give him enough space.
If he ordered them to stop after intruding on their space, that would be disrespectful of him. It
wasn't like they were engaging in explicit activities in the middle of the streets. They were doing it
in the privacy of their own area, with each other's consent, enjoying their freedom.
"Are you sure you don't want to indulge yourself today?" Dionysus asked, glancing up from the
papers in his hands with a smirk. "I even have men today, in case you might be into that."
"All I want today is your signature," Kim Dokja said with a sigh. "Make it quick." He took out a
pen from his shirt pocket and held it out for Dionysus to take.
"Does that mean there will be a time when you do need something else?" Dionysus said, taking the
pen and catching it between his teeth to uncap it.
"I will continue needing a lot of things from you, brother," Kim Dokja said, indulging in their little
joke. "But I don't see it being sexual favours anytime soon."
"Why not? I'm sure I could show you a good time," Dionysus signed at the bottom of the papers
required. "I'm open to anything."
"I'm telling my father that you hit on me," Kim Dokja said simply. "If he comes to your residence
with a bazooka, it's not my fault."
Dionysus laughed, but they both knew they wouldn't put it past Hades if Dionysus did try anything
funny.
Elysium's success as a popular, luxury bar gained Kim Dokja the title of Copycat. Apparently, he'd
taken Eden's Paradise concept and copied it. Kim Dokja ignored it. That wasn't his goal anyway.
The bad reputation made Olympus want to detach any attachment with the establishment and it
was completely set loose to UW.
"Congratulations," Dionysus called Kim Dokja, interrupting one of Yoo Joonghyuk's streams,
pissing Kim Dokja off.
"What's in your devious mind now, my friend?"
"Did you really have to call me right now?' Kim Dokja said testily. "I was doing something
important?"
"My, my, who has caught your attention?"
"Are you serious?"
Dionysus laughed.
"Brother, what now?" Dionysus insisted. "You do check the charts, don't you?"
"What charts?"
"You know exactly what I am talking about."
Kim Dokja sighed. When will this end?
"Just go about doing what you usually do and leave this to me," he said sharply. If Yoo Joonghyuk
ends his stream and Kim Dokja doesn't get to see one of the rare moments when he talks, he would
go on a rampage.
"Very cranky today," Dionysus hummed into the phone. "We have a relationship of trust, just
reminding you of that, brother."
"Is that really all you called for?" Kim Dokja said, annoyed.
"No, I was curious, why are your parents antsy?"
"I told them I'm going back to Korea soon."
"You are?!"
Kim Dokja winced at the loud voice and pulled away from the device at his ear.
"When?"
He reluctantly brought the device to his ear again. "Not until this year is done, anyway. You have
nothing to worry about."
"Hmm, I'll take your word for that. . .Are you going for that military thing you Korean men have to
do?"
"No, for uni."
". . .What?"
"University."
"And you decide Korea is the place you want to go to?" Dionysus said. "That's uncharacteristic of
you. Don't you only want the best of the best?... You are more sentimental than I thought."
Kim Dokja usually did try to be the cream of the crop. He felt that nothing less would be deserving
of Hades and Persephone and he had a duty to meet that standard as their son.
But this time, Kim Dokja was trying to figure out a few things. He felt that would help him more at
the moment.
Kim Dokja was just taking his master's advice—going back to Korea, making peace with his
origins. He had matured a bit over time, he understood a lot of things his master used to say better
now. Making peace with his origins didn't mean making peace with the place he despised, but
rather making peace with his mind that was disturbed by the negative emotions.
"You are unpredictable, Dokja," Dionysus said finally.
"Your pronunciation's gotten better," Kim Dokja commented. "Anyway, if you have nothing
important to say, let me go back to my work. I'm hanging up now."
Kim Dokja turned twenty-one, twenty in international age and he was dubbed the Prince of the
Underworld because of his splendid success with Elysium rebranding as a coffeehouse. He was
going to leave UW to his parents, he had no interest in it, to be honest. But he did want to separate
it from Olympus if possible so that they wouldn't have to deal with the aftermath of Olympus
crumbling.
"You want to open branches in Asia?" Dionysus said.
"Well, I am going to be staying in Asia," Kim Dokja said airily as he continued packing his
luggage.
"Whatever you want to do, brother," Dionysus said, fluffing up a pillow and propping it behind his
back. "What are you going to study?"
"Literature."
Dionysus laughed at the answer.
"Not MBA? Everyone's sure you were going to do that!" he exclaimed.
"I don't care for it," Kim Dokja said shortly. He was going to try becoming an Editor. His parents
were fine with it, he was fine with it, there was no issue.
"Do you plan on returning or settling in your country?" Dionysus asked.
"Why? Plan on tagging along?" Kim Dokja asked cheekily.
"No, but I might consider setting up something around you," Dionysus shrugged. "Olympus is
going to spy on you for sure. I might as well have my own input."
"Whatever you want to do, brother," Kim Dokja imitated the other man.
Seoul had both changed and not changed.
The thing he was dreading didn't happen at all. The name Kim Dokja wasn't recognised at all. Of
course, it wasn't. It was nothing but a speck in the vast expanse of the universe, just a little story
among the brilliant masterpiece the world was. But at the same time, it did not mean that he should
give in to the misery, his story, no matter how small, was worth being told.
He now knew what his master was trying to tell him. It took him an embarrassingly long while to
understand that.
The first few days, he had to adjust back to speaking Korean like he used to. He had been using
English and Greek exclusively when he was away so that he could improve his speaking skills and
even when Persephone and Hades spoke in Korean to him, they had the accent. It seemed that he
had caught onto that as well.
It didn't take long though, listening to lectures every day and hearing others speak made it easier
for him to adapt.
University life was strange. He would have a couple of lectures a day, then he would go back to his
dormitory and check if he had anything to do as the heir of UW. And then he just had the rest of
the day for himself.
Of course, if his master found out that he was slacking off, he was so screwed, but this was the first
time he got time to do something other than what he classified as 'work' and rest.
One regret he had was opting for campus accommodation. It sounded pretty exciting and all at
first, but then he experienced it and absolutely despised it. The kitchen was shared among ten
people in the flat and none of the other nine seemed to be keen to even keep their own dishes clean.
No one slept on time and kept making all sorts of messes.
Kim Dokja had a newly founded appreciation for Dionysus, sure he was always drinking or
smoking something, but he was never this level of intoxicated and he never made such messes.
He pulled through for a year and looked for a new apartment immediately.
"I think you should find a roommate," Persephone told him when he called her as per their routine.
"It will make things less lonely."
"I'm fine by myself, I think I will be more comfortable that way," Kim Dokja put forward his
reasoning.
Persephone was adamant. "What if you happen to get sick and there was no one to help you?
Dokja-yah, you are like your father when it comes to things like this. I know you haven't made any
friends so far."
Right on the nose. Kim Dokja had made a grand total of zero friends in a whole year at university.
"If you have a roommate, it will make things easier. It's either that, or we are sending someone to
help you."
Kim Dokja didn't want a babysitter, so a roommate it was.
He found a trusty agent—correction, his parents found him a trusty agent who gave him a list of
places.
Kim Dokja thought it was very funny how he seemed to be running into the name Yoo Joonghyuk
very often. First the gamer, then the protagonist of his favourite novel which was now on an
indefinite hiatus, and now this Yoo Joonghyuk who was looking for a roommate.
Agent Park said that this Yoo Joonghyuk guy was very picky about roommates and that he was
about to kick him out if he didn't give Kim Dokja a green light.
Technically, the apartment Yoo Joonghyuk was looking for was way below the budget Kim Dokja
had put aside for his accommodation, but he decided to give this place a go for the sake of it. He
didn't need a big place anyway, even after all these years, he still found it comfortable in smaller
spaces.
He tried finding the place on the day of the appointment, got lost on the way to the apartment unit
and had to scurry around a bit before he finally found it and rang the doorbell.
The door opened and Kim Dokja's mouth fell open.
No fucking way!
Kim Dokja was more than familiar with Yoo Joonghyuk's face over the years, so he knew for a
fact that this was indeed the Yoo Joonghyuk he knew as a fifteen-year-old, the same gamer Yoo
Joonghyuk whom he was a fan of.
"You're late," Yoo Joonghyuk said.
That's his voice!
Holy shit, it was Yoo Joonghyuk.
"Ah," Kim Dokja's throat felt very dry. "I got lost trying to find the apartment."
Yoo Joonghyuk's camera did the man no favours. He was much more gorgeous in real life. Kim
Dokja wasn't lacking people with amazing visuals in his life, almost everyone he knew was built
like a model, but Yoo Joonghyuk trumped them all.
Yoo Joonghyuk left the door open and marched inside.
It took Kim Dokja a few seconds to realise that he had to walk inside instead of gawking at Yoo
Joonghyuk. Flushing with embarrassment, he hurried in and closed the door behind him.
"You must be Yoo Joonghyuk-ssi," he said, hoping his voice didn't sound weird. "I'm Kim Dokja."
"A strange name," Yoo Joonghyuk replied.
"I've heard that a lot," a smile spread across Kim Dokja's face.
Simply talking with Yoo Joonghyuk, that too about the mutual understanding about living together,
was very exciting. Kim Dokja could feel his pulse jumping nervously every time Yoo Joonghyuk
looked him in the eye.
"I'm a fan, pro-gamer Yoo Joonghyuk-ssi," Kim Dokja said finally. He thought Yoo Joonghyuk
might like to know that he was living with a fan if he finds it uncomfortable, then Kim Dokja
would have to move elsewhere.
"So?"
So curt. He was still the same. Kim Dokja couldn't help but chuckle. He was going to give it a shot
and see if Yoo Joonghyuk remembered him. He didn't expect him to, but if he had even a teeny bit
of recollection...Kim Dokja wanted to know.
"I did tell you that I'd watch your streams," he said. "It's been a while, Joonghyuk-ah. Almost seven
years, huh?"
"Kim Dokja?" Yoo Joonghyuk's voice was soft and Kim Dokja wanted to know if it was okay for
him to be hopeful.
"The one and only," he said faking confidence. Feeling like it wasn't sufficient, he blabbed on,
"SNH, we were in the same ward and hung out for around three months. You thought I was ten
first and refused to be respectful even though I was the older one."
"I know," Yoo Joonghyuk said and Kim Dokja smiled.
"I remember."
His heart skipped a beat.
Yoo Joonghyuk remembered him! He remembered the stupid little child he happened to meet ages
ago. What did he remember Kim Dokja as? Did he know about Kim Dokja's past? What did he
think about it? Would it matter now?
It's been so long, no one even remembers him. So it should be okay to get a bit closer, right?
Yoo Joonghyuk opened his mouth again and continued on about how they were going to make do
if someone was unable to pay their share of the rent on time. Kim Dokja stared at him.
Yoo Joonghyuk was okay with him staying. That's all that mattered.
"Did you find a roommate?" Persephone asked on their call the next day. Kim Dokja was walking
towards his lecture hall, earphones fit in and phone in hand, video calling his mother.
"Yes, it was an excellent idea, Mother," Kim Dokja said brightly.
"Oh?" Persephone said, pleasantly surprised. "You sound happy. Was the person nice?"
"Oh, yeah, he was great," Kim Dokja grinned.
Persephone's expression changed for a millisecond and Kim Dokja thought it looked a little bit
mischievous, but he wasn't really going to think about it. He was moving into his new apartment
later in the afternoon that day and that was all he could think about.
When Yoo Joonghyuk told him that he would punch Kim Dokja the next time he saw him with
those unhealthy convenience store foods and that he would prepare Kim Dokja's meals from now
on, Kim Dokja thought that Yoo Joonghyuk was a bit too cute for his own good.
Yoo Joonghyuk's food tasted wonderful. Kim Dokja had tasted five-star chefs' cooking for almost
five years and he would still pick Yoo Joonghyuk's cooking over it.
That didn't mean that Yoo Joonghyuk's cooking was that great. No, he was still a bit clumsy, he
needed to read cooking recipes and follow along, and was still new to the whole thing, still
learning. But Kim Dokja liked this better.
He offered to buy groceries. Yoo Joonghyuk agreed.
Yoo Joonghyuk wasn't good at taking care of himself at all. He forgot to move around and would
stay hunched over his computer, straining his eyes and back, editing videos for hours on end. Kim
Dokja had noticed this while watching his streams itself, but Yoo Joonghyuk would go long
streams without eating anything or even drinking water.
He would nag Kim Dokja about eating right, but would never do it himself.
He forgot to take a towel into the bathroom and would have to pop his head outside, look if the
coast is clear and with an old shirt wrapped flimsily around his waist, have to run to his room. Kim
Dokja hid whenever this happened because he knew that if Yoo Joonghyuk knew he was there, he
would stay indefinitely in the bathroom, with no towel to dry himself with, just waiting for Kim
Dokja to leave.
He really was a cute bastard.
That's alright. Kim Dokja could just help him out. It was the least he could do after all.
"Yoo Joonghyuk," he would call if he spotted Yoo Joonghyuk's towel outside on a chair he had left
earlier and forgotten about. "I saw your towel outside. Do you need it?"
There would be slight scrambling from within the bathroom and the door would crack open and a
wet hand would slide out. Kim Dokja would place the towel in his hand and it would be pulled
inside so quickly that sometimes his eyes didn't catch it.
Then the softest, clearly embarrassed, "Thanks," would follow it, making Kim Dokja grin.
Kim Dokja wasn't a stickler for rules like eating on the dining table only and such, but he did try to
make it so that the two of them at least had one meal a day where he would talk about his day and
ask how Yoo Joonghyuk's day was.
It took Yoo Joonghyuk a while, but soon he started actively participating in the conversation as
well. It became a habit, to the point that both of them would wait for each other to return home to
have dinner together.
"What are you even writing?" Kim Dokja said, considerably alarmed at the low-quality report Yoo
Joonghyuk was currently producing before his eyes.
Yoo Joonghyuk pretended to know what he was doing and simply sat there, looking cool. . .This
idiot.
"Move over," Kim Dokja said, shoving his shoulder lightly. Yoo Joonghyuk complied and Kim
Dokja pulled up the articles he needed from the internet and got to work.
He had more than enough experience with this kind of stuff, and he remembered content from the
advanced classes he had to take. He lied and told Yoo Joonghyuk that he had gone through his
books when he was bored. He didn't want to go into the details of how he was put in a situation
where he had to be home-schooled and why Kim Dokja had forced himself to learn more than what
was required of him.
Of course, he could lie about that, but he didn't want to do that to his saviour.
If he hadn't met Yoo Joonghyuk, Kim Dokja would have certainly killed himself off when he was
fifteen. And had he done that, he would never have gotten to meet his wonderful parents, his
master and experience all the other beautiful things he had in this life. He would have died, a
miserable, lonely child who still begged for love from someone who didn't even want him.
"This is academic misconduct, you know," Yoo Joonghyuk said bending down to Kim Dokja's
shoulder so that he could read the screen better. Did he need glasses? Maybe he should suggest
going for a check-up sometime.
"It's not if no one ever finds out. What the point of me having skills if I can't help you with it?"
Kim Dokja told him.
Yoo Joonghyuk loved his sister, Yoo Mia the most in this world. And Kim Dokja loved listening
to him speak about his sister.
Yoo Joonghyuk wasn't a person who spoke a lot in general, he could, but he chose not to. But when
it came to Mia, without him knowing, he would slip into long, long rants and Kim Dokja found it
very entertaining to listen to.
Dionysus had called him a while back, telling him that he was falling behind a bit on his work, but
he brushed it away. It was worth spending hours doing nothing and just listening to Yoo
Joonghyuk.
They would understand if they saw the way Yoo Joonghyuk's lips would stay up in a little smile
the whole while, the way his eyes would soften and shine as he spoke about his little sister.
Yoo Joonghyuk looked happy and that made Kim Dokja feel so much better.
Yoo Joonghyuk was working at a shitty, shitty company. There wasn't much Kim Dokja could do
as Kim Dokja. But he could do a few things as the Prince of the Underworld.
But it wasn't easy. He didn't know how the gaming industry worked, so he would have to find out
about that first. He wished he could flex like those crazy, rich male leads in romance web novels,
and just buy a whole company. If only it were that easy.
He did try it though. Turns out buying Yoo Joonghyuk's company was going to be much tougher
than when he had to salvage Elysium. . .Affiliated with Star Stream, he had heard of this before.
Even Olympus couldn't avoid the influence of Star Stream.
Well, that meant another thing on his to-do list.
He could think about it later, getting Yoo Joonghyuk a better job took priority now.
Working didn't seem like a chore when he did it for Yoo Joonghyuk, strangely. He just wanted to
repay the boy who had saved his life, even if he didn't know he had done it.
Kim Dokja was going over to do the dishes the afternoon after their endeavour was concluded as a
success when he saw that Yoo Joonghyuk looked a little strange. He had his lips pressed together,
frowning a little bit more than usual.
Kim Dokja supposed he was worried about all the new changes made. The company's employees
did seem to think that Yoo Joonghyuk was backed by some big shot behind the shadows.
How could he reassure him? Kim Dokja decided to do something that his mother did sometimes,
and pulled Yoo Joonghyuk into a hug, rubbing his back like his mother would have.
Sometimes people didn't need consolation for the past, not reassurance of a future that had not
happened yet, they just needed someone to acknowledge all that they had done now.
"Well done, Joonghyuk-ah," Kim Dokja said softly.
He felt Yoo Joonghyuk relax and his big arms come around his waist. . .His muscles were really
impressive, especially for a person who just sat around at home all day. Kim Dokja really would
never get like that no matter how much he exercised, now, will he? It was a tad bit upsetting.
Kim Dokja pulled away, just in case Yoo Joonghyuk wanted someone to talk to. He was expecting
Yoo Joonghyuk to say something, but the man just stared at him, then looked away, and marched
off. . .That was awkward. Did he not like hugs?
Ah, some people don't like physical contact. And Kim Dokja hadn't even asked if he could touch
him. Damn it! How could he have made such a mistake? Kim Dokja himself was awkward with
hugs for a long while until he got used to it after his mother embraced him enough.
He should've been more careful!
He didn't attempt to hug Yoo Joonghyuk again until many months later, when Yoo Joonghyuk
looked very depressed, slowly sinking away in his thoughts now rapidly turning self-depreciative.
Kim Dokja grabbed his arm and lay down on the creaky settee, dragging Yoo Joonghyuk down
along with him in a tight hug.
Yoo Joonghyuk was an incredible brother and if Kim Dokja had to use the rest of the night to
convince him of that, he would. Yoo Joonghyuk was troubled, and if he could do anything to help
him, Kim Dokja would do them all without a second thought.
Yoo Joonghyuk put his arms around Kim Dokja after a while of talking. That's good, that's good.
Yoo Joonghyuk hadn't pulled away or shoved him off, so it meant that he was fine with this.
Kim Dokja took a while to realise that he was really enjoying running his fingers through Yoo
Joonghyuk's soft hair. He used a shampoo that had a strange smell. It was probably something that
had 'For men' plastered onto it. It wasn't a bad scent, it was just too synthetic. Yoo Joonghyuk was
rather adorable like this.
"Yoo Joonghyuk, you listen to me now. You're doing well. You're doing great! You're new to this
and you're doing great," Kim Dokja said, hoping that his words would be enough to reassure him.
"You said Mia was left at your door when you were eighteen. You could have just pretended she
didn't exist, you could have given her away. You could have abandoned her, but you didn't. And
that's all that matters."
He knew someone who had abandoned him, and he knew someone who had picked him up and
treasured him. He knew just how hard Yoo Joonghyuk was working so that he could be a good
brother to Mia. He was doing an excellent job so far and he needed to know that. And if he had no
one to remind him of that, Kim Dokja would take the role.
"Everyone makes mistakes. No one is perfect," he said, sinking his hand into Yoo Joonghyuk's hair
again and running his hand lightly along his scalp. It was a blend of those strange head pats he
used to give him as a child and the calming touch Kim Dokja had received from his parents.
"You are," Yoo Joonghyuk said out of the blue. Kim Dokja was confused.
"You are perfect."
Kim Dokja was a hundred per cent sure that for a couple of seconds, his heart was stunned to
stillness. He didn't think he took a breath for a while.
He felt his voice shake when he found it in himself to speak again, ". . .Is that what you say to
yourself in the mirror every morning? To raise confidence or something? Is that the Conquering
King's daily pep-talk routine?"
Please, let the joke pass. Please, don't notice that he was panicking.
"Shut up," Yoo Joonghyuk said and Kim Dokja felt he sounded a bit...fond.
Chapter 18
Chapter Notes
Three chapters?!
~le gasp~
Kim Dokja got a call from his father's aide, asking if everything was alright because he was acting
out of it. Busy with college, was what Kim Dokja lied to them.
He just wasn't sure how to work in the house with someone else. He thought it would have been
fine if it were anyone else, but this was Yoo Joonghyuk and he would keep getting distracted by
him, wondering if he was doing fine and his work would be subpar anyway.
Were all Yoo Joonghyuks bound to be sunfishes? Regressor Yoo Joonghyuk was prone to killing
himself and regressing the second his plans started going wrong, like chill man, it's not that bad
just yet. And his gamer Yoo Joonghyuk couldn't take care of himself for shit, and Kim Dokja had
to remind him to drink some water before he literally fainted.
He needed a place where he could go work without worrying about other things.
So he asked Dionysus to 'do him a favour'.
"You own the place," Dionysus said, sounding a tiny bit baffled at Kim Dokja's request. "You can
just walk in and they are required to bow to you."
"That will ruin the whole purpose of going undercover," Kim Dokja rolled his eyes.
"Ah, you want to have some fun, I see," Dionysus chuckled. "Alright, I'll do it. I will recommend
you. . .Are you sure you want to work part-time?"
"I'm still a student," Kim Dokja reminded him.
"Never understood what college does," Dionysus muttered. "It's more skewed than the normal
education system, did you know? It's all just business, money-making factories if you will. . .We
know that first-hand, don't we?"
"Seriously?" Kim Dokja sighed. "I'm not going to feel guilty even if you try that."
"What? You are taking the scholarship someone desperately needs," Dionysus was chuckling.
"Did you smoke something weird today?" Kim Dokja snapped. He never said he was a good
person. He was just trying to prove a point, that he was someone who could achieve something like
that at a prestigious university.
"You've started considering yourself charitable? Since when did you start that thought process?
Your cult's 'freedom' doesn't equate to charity and kindness, you are aware of that as well, aren't
you? Is your cult going under? Is that what brought this about?"
Dionysus sighed heavily from the other end.

"You know no mercy, do you, brother?" Dionysus said, slightly exasperated.
"You started it first, brother," Kim Dokkja shot back. "Just get it done for me soon."
"Yeah, yeah, got it," Dionysus drawled. "Besides, I've been meaning to ask. Did you find
someone?"
"What?"
Kim Dokja could see Dionysus' grin in his mind as the other man spoke.
"Romance. Love, the thing that's always ruined us Olympians—"
"I'm not an Olympian."
"We are technically family, you know."
"I've never cared."
Dionysus laughed. "I know you haven't!" he said brightly. "And I'm glad for you. . .I suppose you
would be blessed in that area unlike the rest of us because you are your parents' son."
"Well, come to me for advice anytime, brother dearest," Dionysus said brightly. "The Prince of
Underworld, finally in love! I really want to know who caught your attention. Your affection isn't
something that's easily won. . .Oh, I need to let the Queen of the Darkest Spring know. Do you
think your father will fly to South Korea with his scythe? He's always done that for me."
"That's because you act like a creep," Kim Dokja huffed. "And stop going around telling people
nonsense. Especially to mother. If she asks me about this, I swear that the stupid gold staff you
hold on that statue your cult has made for you will be disintegrated before you can say 'My
thyrsus'."
"My thyrsus," Dionysus whined mockingly. "So you do know what that's actually called. You
never call it that, I thought you just didn't know what it was."
"You are not a god, Dionysus," Kim Dokja said dryly. "Even if your cult may praise you as one."
"I think as Olympians, we all need to have a god complex," Dionysus said, as though this was
somehow a reasonable argument. "Even if we weren't gods, we could be, compared to the others.
Of course, you are more of a revolutionary, aren't you? And you wonder why Olympus wants to be
rid of you."
"You exhaust me," Kim Dokja let out a heavy sigh.
"Apollo and Hermes exhaust you," Dionysus corrected him. "I merely make you a little tired. It's
different. . .That reminds me, brother, you really are slacking off. Apollo and Hermes are dipping
their fingers into your area. And you know that they have more influence and experience in
research, especially in the medical field. You will lose everything if you are careless."
"I know what I'm doing," Kim Dokja said, confident, even though he didn't feel like it. "Why do
you think I need a place at Elysium?"
"To have some fun? And nice coffee and dessert?"
"To work in peace! So that I can concentrate on my work and finish it right."
"Right," Dionysus drawled. "Of course. . .I haven't got the slightest clue what goes on in your
mind, Dokja. But do as you will."
"I've got a job," Kim Dokja said when Yoo Joonghyuk hugged him from the back as he was
making himself a coffee in the kitchen.
"You already have one," the bigger man said, resting his head on Kim Dokja's shoulder.
"I got another one," Kim Dokja rolled his eyes. "Obviously. It's at a...cafe."
"Why another one?"
"A part-time librarian doesn't make much," Kim Dokja said blandly.
"Makes sense," Yoo Joonghyuk muttered and took a deep breath, before relaxing his shoulders.
Kim Dokja seemed to have understood Yoo Joonghyuk wrong. He thought he wasn't one for
physical affection, and only indulged in that once in a while, like Kim Dokja.
But it seemed like Yoo Joonghyuk just didn't have anyone to give him that reassurance. Kim Dokja
didn't mind standing in that role as well.
To be honest, he liked it too. A tad bit more than he was willing to admit. Yoo Joonghyuk was both
larger and taller than him, the man could cover him whole if he wanted. Yoo Joonghyuk's hugs
were so, so warm. It gave Kim Dokja the feeling of curling up in his bed, a familiar blanket
covering him. It made him feel safe. And he would sink into the touch before he even knew it.
He could feel Yoo Joonghyuk's breathing and his heartbeat against his back, his own breathing
falling in to match that rhythm.
It seemed Mother was right. Cuddling could be a great stress reliever. The longer he stood there
with Yoo Joonghyuk, he felt his headache slowly trickle away into exhaustion that settled heavily
in his bones.
"Why are you having coffee now?" Yoo Joonghyuk spoke.
"I've got work to do," Kim Dokja answered, closing his eyes.
Kim Dokja felt Yoo Joonghyuk open his mouth for a second, and then close it.
"Were you trying to offer help?" he joked. Yoo Joonghyuk grumbled in his ear, clearly
embarrassed, making Kim Dokja laugh. He got pinched in the waist for that. Though it didn't hurt
as much as he thought it would Kim Dokja groaned and pinched Yoo Joonghyuk's arm back.
"This is enough, Joonghyuk-ah," Kim Dokja said softly once they had stopped trying to actively
out-pinch the other. "This more than enough."
"What bullshit are you saying?" Yoo Joonghyuk said incredulously but pulled Kim Dokja closer. It
was a tight hug, not enough to break his bones, but enough for Kim Dokja to feel like he was
crumbling.
"What the fuck do you mean by that?" Yoo Joonghyuk could be very threatening when he wanted
to. Kim Dokja had faced worse, so he had no idea why he was more intimidated by Yoo Joonhyuk
towering over him, and glaring like he wanted him dead when Kim Dokja told him that he wasn't
planning on moving along with Yoo Joonghyuk.
"You have Mia, I don't want to intrude in your family time," Kim Dokja said, leaning backwards a
little.
"Kim Dokja, don't be a fool," Yoo Joonghyuk snarled. "If I have to drag you out myself, then I will
do it. You are coming with me."
He wasn't asking, it was a statement. Kim Dokja was going along with Yoo Joonghyuk and that
was it. Kim Dokja found he didn't mind as much.
But he did mind that he didn't know much about the place he was moving to. He had checked it for
safety and convenience and all that because he had found the place for Yoo Joonghyuk, but if he
was moving there, he needed to be a bit more thorough.
According to Dionysus, Kim Dokja was making a lot of mess in South Korea.
"You want to dabble in real estate now?"
"No, I just want to be a spoiled brat and buy a building. Will that work better?"
"You never do things like that."
"You don't know that. I indulge myself in a few luxuries sometimes."
"Only if you feel they will somehow help your parents later," Dionysus scoffed at Kim Dokja's
attempts to come off as nonchalant. "Do you think they don't know that you are trying to pay them
back?"
Kim Dokja really was trying to pay them back. He even had a little note on his phone listing all the
things his parents had provided him with, calculated the net cost, added with interest and was
planning on returning all that to his parents one by one.
"I can't help you here," Dionysus said sharply. "I have never worked with real estate—"
"You have acres of vineyards across the world."
"—Not the one you are looking for. Especially in South Korea. I know nearly nothing about
Asia...I do know where you get the best grapes, but I don't think that's what you want to know. I
really do not know much about the real estate you are looking to invest in."
"Is that my problem?" Kim Dokja sighed. "And you are the one who called me first. What are
doing? How do you even know that?"
"I have my own sources, brother," Dionysus chuckled.
"You either tell me, or I bring it all down," Kim Dokja threatened. "We work on trust, brother.
Break it and there will be consequences. I believe we both know that."
Dionysus let out a dramatic sigh. "You are so paranoid, brother. And don't worry, I'm not just
keeping an eye on you. I'm watching the Olympus men who are after you. Don't you feel thankful
for me? Here I am, taking care of you without even you needing to ask. What a wonderful friend I
am."
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. . .I'll take your word for it...And don't worry, I know a person who can
help."
"In South Korea?"
"Where else?"
"Boring~I thought you would rope in someone else from Olympus and I'd have company. It would
be fun. We could all play spies and secret agents."
"What are you even saying?"
"Let me have my fun, brother. Let me have my fun."
"As if anything has ever stopped you from having fun," Kim Dokja said incredulously.
"You're not coming?" Yoo Joonghyuk snapped at him when he told him that he could join him
only after a few days at his master's place.
"I will be there for a few days like I promised," Kim Dokja told him. "I just can't stay for the whole
time."
"But you're still not coming tomorrow," Yoo Joonghyuk glared at him.
"No, not tomorrow. Something came up," Kim Dokja shook his head. He had a few things to do,
Yoo Joonghyuk didn't have to worry about that.
"You know I would never bail on you right?" Kim Dokja he said, slightly anxious. He didn't want
Yoo Joonghyuk to misunderstand. "I've got a few important things to do."
Luckily, Yoo Joonghyuk let him off the hook.
If Kim Dokja was startled to know that Namgung Minyoung knew Kyrgios Rodgraim, it was
nothing compared to the shock of finding out that they used to be lovers.
So that's why Master didn't want to come to South Korea even though Kim Dokja had invited him
to tag along.
"He's in Japan now? Has he left that old island of his?" Namgung Minyoung asked.
"Yes, an acquaintance of mine called him out for a while and I happened to get the chance to meet
him then," Kim Dokja said. He wasn't sure if his master would be pleased to know that he had
given away way too much information.
"Someone has the power to convince that stubborn guy. . .It has been really long, huh?"
"Asuka Ren-ssi is special like that," Kim Dokja smiled.
"Who is Asuka Ren?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked.
"She's a Japanese comic artist. She makes really good art and I've read a few of her works," Kim
Dokja said. Did Yoo Joonghyuk read comics? He hadn't seen the guy read anything for
entertainment. Would he like it though? And what genre did Yoo Joonghyuk like anyway, it didn't
matter which media it was from.
Kim Dokja was about to ask him about what he liked to read or watch when Yoo Joonghyuk spoke.
"You dated her?" Yoo Joonghyuk's dark voice caught him off guard.
"Acquaintance, dumdum. I just said so," Kim Dokja said, surprised. What was this guy on about?
He could see Asuka Ren being considered very attractive by general standards, but he never
thought about her that way. He just really liked her art and even though her storytelling was a bit
weak, he enjoyed it.
And. . .Why the fuck did Yoo Joonghyuk sound like that? Like he was angry for some reason? No,
angry wasn't the right word. He sounded more...anxious? No, that wasn't it either.
Jealous?
Kim Dokja stared at the spicy tofu block between his chopsticks. What the fuck?
What did Yoo Joonghyuk have to be jealous about anyway?
There's no way, Kim Dokja told himself as he stuffed the tofu into his mouth. If he felt his heart
stutter for a second, no, he didn't. It was probably because he was shovelling so much spicy food
after his tolerance had been dulled out by eating foreign meals for years.
Mia was the sweetest little thing ever, except she was way too stubborn and had a grip strength that
would he was sure would have his master praising the kid and scolding Kim Dokja.
God, he hadn't exercised in so long. He was so screwed if he were to meet Kyrgios anytime soon.
Kids get enthralled by anything, don't they? He just had to give her his phone and show her some
of Yoo Joonghyuk's streams and she was over the moon with happiness.
Mia was very clever, Kim Dokja noticed with amusement. She seemed to have figured out that Kim
Dokja could give more sound arguments in case she wanted to convince her Oppa to get her
something and so she'd drag Kim Dokja along with her to do just that.
"It's dangerous. She's a child. What were you thinking instead of asking her to drop it?" Yoo
Joonghyuk growled at him, the grip on his shoulder starting to hurt a bit now.
"Mia is like you," Kim Dokja relaxed, hoping it would calm Yoo Joonghyuk as well. "She's not
going to give up until you give her what she wants."
"Which is not a good habit. Stop encouraging her!"
Kim Dokja broke out of Yoo Joonghyuk's grasp and massaged his sore shoulder lightly. Why did
that guy who did nothing but sit at a computer all day have such a strong grip? Was it just
genetics?
"Listen, trust me on this one, okay?" Kim Dokja explained. "It's better to let her play under adult
supervision anyway. What if she ends up playing with fire unsupervised because she thinks the
adults will never allow her to?"
"Mia is a smart child," Yoo Joonghyuk said a bit indignantly.
"She's also very curious," Kim Dokja said pointedly. "And very brave."
"You let her run around," Yoo Joonghyuk said crossly. "And she's picking up all bad habits. She's
sticking to the phone like you. And she's being reckless."
"Hey, we regulate her phone time, it's fine," Kim Dokja grinned. "And she's not being reckless.
She's curious like children usually are."
Yoo Joonghyuk rolled his eyes.
"Besides, what is bravery but noble recklessness?"
"I will punch you," Yoo Joonghyuk threatened and Kim Dokja couldn't help but laugh. If Yoo
Joonghyuk was actually angry, he would have punched him without giving him a heads-up.
"It'll be fine, Joonghyuk-ah," Kim Dokja told him. "It's better to teach her how to do it right,
instead of her learning it by getting hurt."
Kim Dokja wasn't great at parenting by any means, but he had heard a few things from his loving
parents and knew how that would work out. He was just passing on valuable experience and
information to Yoo Joonghyuk.
"Marry me."
Kim Dokja felt himself turn to stone.
"Marry me and take care of Mia with me."
Ah, so that's what it was. He laughed awkwardly.
"What nonsense are you saying, Yoo Joonghyuk?" Kim Dokja waved it away, hoping that he could
just chuckle away the way something in his chest had just creaked.
"You clearly know better than me. I can't raise her properly," Yoo Joonghyuk said with a huge
sigh.
"Just stay with us and help me."
Kim Dokja had just managed to get the marriage proposal out of his 'things to overthink' list when
Yoo Joonghyuk hit him with that.
Yoo Joonghyuk wasn't very good with words, was he?
That's alright. He didn't mind at all. And if Yoo Joonghyuk wanted him to, even though Kim Dokja
lacked the experience, if Yoo Joonghyuk trusted him enough to help him with Mia, he would do
his best to help him out.
Kim Dokja would always do his best to repay Yoo Joonghyuk, for being a saviour, for being a
friend.
Kim Dokja had played maybe once or twice with fireworks when Persephone saw a family do that
by the Han River in a K-drama she was watching to improve her Korean and she thought it was a
great thing to do.
Yoo Joonghyuk had never indulged himself in fireworks.
"You've never?" Kim Dokja said as they browsed the market. "It didn't interest you? Did you think
you could be doing better things in your time? Like fireworks wouldn't make all that much
difference in your life?"
"It's the same for you," Yoo Joonghyuk said. Kim Dokja smiled in response.
It took a while for Yoo Joonghyuk's gaze to move away from him and Kim Dokja prayed that it
wasn't a look of pity.
Mia's laughter filled the night and Kim Dokja had to force Yoo Joonghyuk to help out Mia. For
some reason, that man seemed to think that Kim Dokja would do better at guiding Mia.
"What are you saying?" Kim Dokja scoffed, thrusting a couple of sparklers into Yoo Joonghyuk's
hand. "Mia wants to spend time with her brother."
"You're her oppa as well," Yoo Joonghyuk muttered.
"Are you just nervous about using firecrackers for the first time?" Kim Dokja raised his eyebrows.
Yoo Joonghyuk said nothing and held up the box in which the firecrackers came in, reading the
writing on the back.
Look at this giant idiot. Acting all cool now that he got caught.
"It's not even going to hurt you, you are a big boy," Kim Dokja teased him, unable to keep the
smile off his face. Yoo Joonghyuk glared at him. "It's safe, Joonghyuk-ah. Or it wouldn't have
gotten the approval to go on the market. The government isn't doing that shitty of a job alright, no
matter what the news thinks."
"The news thinks the government's shitty?"
"The news always thinks that," Kim Dokja said, ignoring Yoo Joonghyuk's baffling lack of
knowledge about current events in the country. It wasn't like he had to know though, Kim Dokja
just kept track of things because he had to.
He finally sent Yoo Joonghyuk to light the sparklers with Mia.
"Hold it at arm's length," Kim Dokja told them. Both the siblings did as he told instantly and he
couldn't help but laugh out loud. He heard Namgung Minyoung laugh behind him from the house
as well.
Mia's face was shining with excitement when the sparkler was lit and it started bursting, the sparks
flying off the end like glittering stars. Though Yoo Joonghyuk's face wasn't as expressive as his
sister's, Kim Dokja noticed a similar shine in his eyes.
"Move your hand," Kim Dokja said and Yoo Joonghyuk shot him a concerned look.
"Hey, trust science and move it in circles like this," Kim Dokja moved his own hands to show them
as he pulled his phone out of his pocket with his other hand. He needed to take a picture of this.
Kim Dokja wasn't one for recording or taking photographs. But he thought Yoo Joonghyuk would
like to have some photos of this.
"I'm going to take some pictures now, is that okay?" he asked, just in case. Yoo Joonghyuk seemed
fine with it.
"With Oppa?" Mia asked and when Kim Dokja nodded, she said, "Okay!"
Right, Yoo Joonghyuk had a shit ton of photos of just Mia, but none of them had him in them.
"Move your hand," Kim Dokja insisted and by the look on Yoo Joonghyuk's face, it was Mia who
had moved their hands.
"Oppa, look!" Mia squealed at the bright after-image of a circle hanging in the air as the sparkler
moved.
"Move both hands," Kim Dokja suggested and Yoo Joonghyuk shot him an exasperated glare.
"Both hands, both hands!" Mia chanted happily.
"What? Can't multitask, Joonghyuk-ah?" he goaded him. That got Yoo Joonghyuk's competitive
spirit firing up.
Making circles and other shapes in the air with sparklers shouldn't have been so much fun, but it
was. How was a mystery, considering that Kim Dokja hadn't touched a single firework all night,
but seeing those two have fun made him feel like he was the one doing it.
"Draw a heart next," Kim Dokja laughed.
"Oppa, heart," Mia urged her brother and they made hearts in the air as Kim Dokja snapped
pictures.
"A big heart, Joonghyuk-ah," he teased. "Why's your heart smaller than Mia's?"
Yoo Joonghyuk looked slightly pissed for a second, but then the look melted away.
"Smile at the camera for me, please," Kim Dokja sang, imitating the photographers he had heard
before.
Mia's grin was blinding, it made Kim Dokja smile as well. What caught him off guard wasn't
receiving one of Yoo Joonghyuk's rare genuine smiles, but the way his own stomach had churned.
Did he eat something weird? Too much spicy food?

He did not want to think about that. He'd much rather focus on that smile on Yoo Joonghyuk's
face. If they put up pictures of that smile on the internet, Yoo Joonghyuk could start a cult of his
own. Kim Dokja might even join the fan club himself.
"You are moving?" Persephone said, even Hades looked slightly concerned in the background he
was hanging about. "With your roommate. Because he had a younger sister he wants to take care
of?"
"Will that be alright?" Hades asked, unable to wait for his wife to finish reaching the point he
wanted to be emphasised. "What about your privacy, Dokja? A child around is bound to be..." he
trailed off, unable to find the right words.
"Five-year-olds are very energetic," Persephone said. "And you are bound to be tired to entertain a
child after everything you do. Do you want to look for another place?"
"Mother, I am fine," Kim Dokja assured them. "Mia is energetic, but she isn't tiring. If anything, it
makes me more alert, does that make sense?"
His parents sat quietly for a while. They looked at each other and then turned to Kim Dokja.
"Dokja-yah," Persephone said slowly. "Do you like this roommate of yours?"
"Of course, I like him," Kim Dokja said simply. "I wouldn't be rooming with him if I didn't.
Joonghyuk's a great friend, mother, father. You don't have to worry."
"Joonghyuk?" Hades said and it sounded like he had almost gasped.
". . .As in," Persephone said slowly. "Yoo Joonghyuk? The boy you used to be friends with?"
"The gamer boy you spend unnecessarily on?" Hades interjected.
Kim Dokja flushed in embarrassment. He didn't have to call him out like that! Yeah, so what if he
was a Conquering King fanboy who bought any merch that was released immediately?
Persephone gasped loudly, startling Kim Dokja.
"Mother?" he said, worried.
"I—I see how it is," she said slowly. "No, I understand. . .Our son has grown up," a smile spread
across her face.
"It's all Dionysus's fault," Hades was fuming for some reason. "He's being a bad influence on you,
Dokja. I am going to have a talk with him."
"No, you leave Dionysus, alone, dear," Persephone grabbed her husband's arm and held him in
place before he went off to murder Dionysus. "It's our son's choice. And we will respect it, as we
always have."
Hades grumbled something along the lines of "Not good enough for my son".
Kim Dokja wasn't entirely sure what they were talking about, but he was glad that they were
looking out for him. Dionysus might have to worry though.
Kim Dokja was an overthinker. He knew that. So it was no surprise that he kept replaying this
incident and all the others in his head all night, so much so that he even wondered if he had to take
a sleeping pill.
He didn't like taking sleeping pills, but sometimes it became a necessity. Especially on days he had
a lot of things to be concerned about.
It didn't help that Dionysus called him in the middle of the night and began laughing madly without
even saying "Hello".
"What do you want?" Kim Dokja groaned, annoyed.
"Father of the Rich Night almost flew to Korea," Dionysus was still laughing. "And the Queen is
preparing for a wedding."
"What are you on about?"
"You've found a lover, haven't you?" Dionysus said, either very cheerful or very condescending,
Kim Dokja couldn't put a finger on it.
"I do not have a lover, I am not interested in romance or anything of that sort," Kim Dokja said
firmly. He was really pissed. "What do you want? I need to sleep. I have three lectures tomorrow
and you are ruining my night."
"Come on, brother, don't lie so obviously," Dionysus drawled. "You haven't been acting yourself
for a while now. I think I know why."
Kim Dokja sighed heavily and sat up in his bed.
"Dionysus, I swear, I'll take a flight to Greece and beat you up. What is it?"
"Oh, I just wanted to let you know that this is all very entertaining," Dionysus chuckled. "But,
yeah, keep your guard up, brother. You don't want Olympus to find you have a lover."
"I don't have a lover!"
"Olympus is not above doing things like that," Dionysus ignored his protest. "They've done this
before. Also, depends on how desirable your lover seems, you know. I'd like to see a picture of the
person, but I don't think you'll let me in on that. You're way too paranoid for that."
Kim Dokja was not in a mood to deal with this nonsense, this late at night.
"I do not have a lover," he said slowly. "I have a roommate. Everyone thinks it's something big
because I think the guy's a good person."
"Ooh, that's an honour coming from you," Dionysus said. "Roommate, huh?"
"Do you call all your cult members lovers?" Kim Dokja snapped.
"No, we have an agreement," Dionysus said. "But that's a strange comparison to make, brother. I
thought you didn't have a thing for males. You never showed any reaction to all the hunks I've
shown you before."
"Say that to my father's face if you dare," Kim Dokja said grouchily.
"I thought you were like Artemis...or Athena, but she's being a bit more of a bitch these days,"
Dionysus prattled on, ignoring him again. "Seems you are a little bit different from that since
there's someone now. Hmm, interesting. You know, Olympus has never worried about that kind of
thing. Same-sex might be an issue in your conservative place, but not here."
"I'm hanging up," Kim Dokja deadpanned and cut the call.
He fell back into his bed. He was not equipped for dealing with this.
Why was everyone so eager to pair him up with Yoo Joonghyuk?
It didn't happen just because they were in the same space. Kim Dokja had met many people of both
sexes who stayed around him in hopes of getting into UW, but his parents had never been this
adamant about this nonsense.
Was it because it was Yoo Joonghyuk? Well, yeah, that sort of made sense. Yoo Joonghyuk was a
god compared to all those other people. They wouldn't come close to slapping Yoo Joonghyuk's
face even once in centuries.
It was probably because of the way Kim Dokja acted around him, he reasoned. They didn't know
just how much of an important role Yoo Joonghyuk had played in his life and they were mistaking
his soft attitude for something else.
His phone chimed and he squinted at the bright light. When he read the message he was sent, Kim
Dokja groaned in exasperation. He did not need a how-to-have-fun-and-safe-sex guide from
Dionysus, the fucking asshole.
Kim Dokja did not sleep well that night. In fact, he did not sleep at all. He just stayed in bed,
staring at the dark ceiling overhead until the clock struck five and he heaved himself out of bed.
He started the day off, very pissed, brushing his teeth, taking a shower and going to make himself a
coffee. He did not prefer hot coffee, but he had a throbbing headache and he wanted it gone as soon
as possible.
Yoo Joonghyuk used to boil water on the stove until Kim Dokja got them a kettle. It just made life
so much easier.
He heard soft footfalls as the kettle whirred away and the water in it bubbled. Maybe he should
consider getting a coffee machine.
"Kim Dokja," Yoo Joonghyuk's groggy morning voice sounded behind him and he couldn't help
but smile.
It would seem that he was falling into a routine because Kim Dokja had expected Yoo Joonghyuk
to give him a back hug as usual.
"Why're you awake this early?" Yoo Joonghyuk said, talking slowly.
Kim Dokja stifled a yawn. He reached a hand over his shoulder to ruffle Yoo Joonghyuk's hair.
"Go to bed, Joonghyuk-ah. You can sleep some more," he told him.
Yoo Joonghyuk mumbled something and sank his head into his shoulder, pressing Kim Dokja
tighter against his chest.
"Alright," Kim Dokja chuckled. "Good morning, then, Hyuk-ah,"
Yoo Joonghyuk stiffened and then he pulled away abruptly, before zooming out of the kitchen as
fast as he could.
Well, it was sort of understandable. He was just embarrassed. Kim Dokja would have too, if he had
been caught in such a situation.
Yoo Joonghyuk was awkward throughout the day, but there was no need to be so worried, really.
Kim Dokja understood. He was a healthy young man, morning wood is not uncommon, is it? Did
he really have to avoid him for that?
Was he sexually frustrated or something?
Come to think of it, Yoo Joonghyuk never went out on dates or brought anyone home.
What was this guy even doing? God, this shut-in sunfish.
"Joonghyuk-ah," Kim Dokja said at dinner, making Yoo Joonghyuk who had avoided him the
whole day jump a little.
"Do you have anyone you like?" Kim Dokja asked, curious. "Like as in, you want to date them."
"Why do you need to know?" Yoo Joonghyuk glared at him.
"I'm just curious," Kim Dokja shrugged. "You never go on dates."
"I don't need to," Yoo Joonghyuk said stubbornly. This guy, seriously?
"You don't even go for those department get-togethers," Kim Dokja pointed out. "You don't like
going to bars?"
Yoo Joonghyuk shook his head.
"Me either," Kim Dokja confided. Makes sense.
He knew that people would go to clubs and bars to find someone for the night, or for some sort of
casual hook-up. It just never made sense to him. How could he have sex with someone he didn't
even know? It was an intimate act, so how could he just trust some random person to have him for
a whole night if he didn't trust them or feel anything for them?
Dionysus was beyond confusing because that guy didn't have to feel anything romantic towards the
people he engaged in sexual activities with. Kim Dokja wasn't even going to use the rest of
Olympus to compare, no, not doing that.
"Why are you asking?" Yoo Joonghyuk's voice brought him out of his thoughts.
"Just like that," Kim Dokja said.

Maybe he should try to get Yoo Joonghyuk to go out sometime. Not some crowded bar or
something, a nicer place. He should experience the finer things in life and once Mia starts living
with them, that would get harder.
Was he starting to sound like his parents? A bit, Kim Dokja noted.
But Yoo Joonghyuk was just a bit too much of a social recluse. So much so that it made Kim Dokja
of all people concerned.
Maybe he will go through the stupid guide Dionysus had sent him. Kim Dokja wasn't particularly
informed about this. He really should be, though. Lack of information was more detrimental than
lack of experience.
How would he find out Yoo Joonghyuk's preference though?
Since he had lived in a conservative society, it was only natural that he most likely preferred
women. But then again, that was never a hundred per cent certain. Kim Dokja had lived in South
Korea for eighteen years and he had never batted an eye about who wanted to be with who.
"Yoo Joonghyuk," Kim Dokja asked. "You've ever dated someone?"
"No," Yoo Joonghyuk replied immediately. "Why are you asking?"
"No reason," Kim Dokja said. What was he getting so defensive for? It's not a sin to not date
anyone. Why the inferiority complex about that?
"I haven't dated anyone either," he said, hoping that it would reduce Yoo Joonghyuk's insecurity
about that. Yoo Joonghyuk looked pleased with that so he supposed it was fine now.
He should really think about taking Yoo Joonghyuk out for those blind dates people keep
organizing for their friends. Yoo Joonghyuk didn't really go out and meet people much.
And Kim Dokja would conduct a very thorough vetting process before letting anyone actually date
Yoo Joonghyuk so he wouldn't have to worry about them being after his fame and money, and
actually liked and enjoyed spending time with him.
Chapter 19
Chapter Notes
FOUR CHAPTERS!!
Yeah, I just forgot to post them before so now I'm putting them all up at once.
So, yeah, heads up, if you opened this one first, want to go check and see if you've
read the previous ones
Yoo Joonghyuk liked movies more than Kim Dokja did. Kim Dokja was the kind of person to read
all the reviews to see if spending two hours was worth it and read the plot summary on Wikipedia
if the movie title sounded dubious. He didn't care for spoilers, truth be told.
Yoo Joonghyuk hated spoilers.
Kim Dokja would have used this new information to make fun of Yoo Joonghyuk, but the romantic
comedies that Yoo Joonghyuk liked didn't have a lot of plot twists to write home about.
It was something new he had learnt about Yoo Joonghyuk. He liked romance and family dramas
more than the thrillers that Kim Dokja liked. Kim Dokja paid attention to the rom-com they were
watching for the first time so that he could see what Yoo Joonghyuk liked about it.
Yoo Joonghyuk was not a fan of horror. Noted.
It was just jumpscares, but Kim Dokja had felt the man stiffen and reel back sometimes, and then
he would get upset that he was startled by something like that. That's the whole point, Kim Dokja
wanted to tell him. The whole movie crew worked hard to get even that tiny reaction from their
audience. There was no need to be so upset about it.
Really, he could be a bit too cute sometimes.
Kim Dokja thought the horror movie he had picked was better than Yoo Joonghyuk's romantic
comedy. Though Kim Dokja was usually a fan of psychological thrillers when it came to scaring
the shit out of him, this horror one was pretty neat.
"I liked the ending," he answered Yoo Joonghyuk's question.
The man didn't look like he agreed with Kim Dokja's answer all that much.
Hah, this protagonist jerk! If Yoo Joonghyuk were the protagonist in the movie, what would have
done?... Probably tried to punch the spirit and try to threaten it into non-existence.
"Do you believe in fate, Yoo Joonghyuk?" Kim Dokja asked.
"Dunno," Yoo Joonghyuk shrugged. He had drunk a bit too much today. Was he alright? Maybe
Kim Dokja should go get him some water from the kitchen.
"You?"
"Hmm, a little," Kim Dokja answered. He snapped out of his thoughts when the empty cans he was
playing with clattered to the floor. Ah, he should pick them up. He did not want to clean up that if
it stained.
"Why?" Yoo Joonghyuk said. Kim Dokja stared when the man held the cans in place, playing
along with the stupid game Kim Dokja had absent-mindedly started while he was thinking.
"It just seems to make sense, you know?" Kim Dokja muttered, adding another can on top of Yoo
Joonghyuk's contributing and following his idea of actually holding it in his hand so that it
wouldn't fall so easily just yet.
Would four cans even stay balanced? Especially since their tops weren't all that even.
"How else can you explain it?" Kim Dokja explained. "There are billions of people in the world.
There are thousands and thousands just in this country and yet we get to meet the people we meet."
"We meet people because we exist, Kim Dokja. What are you saying?" Yoo Joonghyuk huffed.
"You aren't going to meet the President of the United States because you don't live there. Logically
speaking, will you ever have a chance? When you live in South Korea?"
"That's the point. We exist here, in his place, at this time and all the people exist in the same place
as us, around us. What else is it but fate?"
Kim Dokja would know all about that. How else would he have normally gotten to meet someone
like Yoo Joonghyuk, his parents, his master and even Dionysus, no matter how annoying he could
be sometimes?
Kim Dokja didn't think he did anything to deserve all this. Maybe it was fate, maybe it was
something he had done in his previous life that had followed on.
"To exist in the same time as you...It's got to be fate."
"Do you like it? Fate?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked him. He sounded a bit confused. What was there to
be confused about though?
"Eh," Kim Dokja let out a sound. He had enough of the cans. They weren't even cold and pleasant
to hold now.
If fate had led him to good people, fate had also shown him misery first. He did not like that. He
did not want to just accept it either. It was a bit contradictory, he knew that, but that was the only
way it made things easier for him to process.
"Fate is pretty ambiguous, no? It can be good or bad and doesn't really give us too much of a
choice," he said. "I suppose it's our actions that influence fate anyway,"
"Is that so?" Yoo Joonghyuk said.
"It is so," Kim Dokja nodded. Why was Yoo Joonghyuk still holding those cans? It should be
uncomfortable, the way he's leaning over and holding his hands in position. He should let go now.
Kim Dokja took the cans away from Yoo Joonghyuk's hands and put them down neatly. He should
clean them early tomorrow morning. He didn't feel like doing it tonight.
"You're a fucking bastard, Kim Dokja," Yoo Joonghyuk snapped suddenly.

What?
"Hah? What did I even do?" Kim Dokja said, startled.
"I ought to punch you in the face. . .infuriating bastard. Who said you could touch my tower?"
"What tower?"
"The can tower, you son of a bitch."
What on earth is he on about. . . The cans? The stupid cans? Seriously?
"Why is it yours, you jerk?"
"I laid the foundation. It's mine," Yoo Joonghyuk growled.
This bastard!
"Bullshit," Kim Dokja said, not wanting to give up. "Then it's mine. It was built right here, on my
thigh."
"Your thigh, my foot," Yoo Joonghyuk huffed.
Kim Dokja felt his breath hitch when Yoo Joonghyuk caught him around his thigh and arm and
pulled him so that he slid down the sofa.
"Give it to me then," Yoo Joonghyuk demanded said and Kim Dokja noticed just how strange their
position was right now.
Goddamnit, Dionysus! Now he couldn't get that shit out of his mind. . .He hadn't been trying to
compare Yoo Joonghyuk to Dionysus' cult members. He was just trying to piss the man off!
"How much will you give?" Kim Dokja said, praying that his mind would stay in the lane.
"How much do you want?"
"All the money in the world, you bastard."
"That's too much."
There was absolutely no reason for this idiot to look so cool for no reason!
"Are you saying I'm not that valuable?" Kim Dokja said.
"It's like ten centimetres of skin, so clearly not," Yoo Joonghyuk retorted.
"Is that how land works, you halfwit? Do you just take the first layer of soil when you buy land?
Everything in the ten centimetres is being bought."
"Not everything. Everything means you'll have to drill a hole through the earth to the opposite end.
That's everything. That's not how land works, you halfwit."
"Will you give it to me or not?" Yoo Joonghyuk demanded.
"Why do you want it?"
"I just do. Give it to me."

Kim Dokja pulled his mind back in from wandering off into forbidden territories. Yoo Joonghyuk
was just making a stupid joke. He was getting ahead for no reason, just because the position
reminded him of a certain intimate scene he had been a witness to before.
"Fine. But only because it's you. I'll give it because you asked," Kim Dokja sighed. "You should
have asked nicely though. Where are your manners? Why're you being a rude brat? Is this what
you're going to teach your sister?"
Did he go too far? Should he not have involved Mia? Yoo Joonghyuk was silent for an unnaturally
long time, just staring at him.
"Kiss me," he said and Kim Dokja almost choked.
What?
"What?"
"Kiss me."
"Why?" The word was out of his mouth before he even knew it.
"I want it. So will you give it to me?"
What the fuck? Kim Dokja was panicking. And he did not want to look into Yoo Joonghyuk's eyes
anymore. He turned his head away. Please, work properly, stupid, useless mind!
Yoo Joonghyuk wanted to kiss him? Why?
Try as he might, Kim Dokja literally couldn't find a reason why Yoo Joonghyuk would want to kiss
him.
Oh! Hang on! There was one if he thought about it.
Maybe he just wanted to give kissing a try. The guy had never gone on a date, and never liked
anyone, he was probably just curious after all the romcom-induced feelings. The man had never
used fireworks until recently and that too he did under Kim Dokja's persistence.
Yeah, objectively speaking, if Kim Dokja had to kiss someone or sleep with someone, it would be
Yoo Joonghyuk. It might be the same for Yoo Joonghyuk as well, and it wasn't like he was going
out anywhere.
He should though, he might be missing out on things by settling for Kim Dokja.
It was a good thing if he thought about it. Kim Dokja was clueless as well. It might be less
embarrassing to have someone he trusted learn this with him. Wasn't a bad deal at all.
He let out a puff of breath and turned to look at Yoo Joonghyuk.
"Some Conquering King you are," he said, placing his hands on Yoo Joonghyuk's shoulders.
Yoo Joonghyuk was such a softie, even more than Kim Dokja had considered him to be. He was
dubbed Conquering King and he looks like a wet puppy when Kim Dokja did not give in
immediately to his request for a kiss. . .Well, it wasn't a request per se. But that's as much of a
request he would ever get out of Yoo Joonghyuk. That guy just did not know how to use words
sometimes, like what's so hard about saying please? Kim Dokja should try to get him to say please
sometime soon. It shouldn't be that difficult if he annoyed him into i—
Something collided with Kim Dokja's mouth, he wouldn't be surprised if his teeth were punched in.
If it weren't for the feeling of something soft on his mouth, Kim Dokja would have thought that
Yoo Joonghyuk had actually punched him.
But no, Yoo Joonghyuk was kissing him instead.
The second he understood this, his body fucking froze.
Oh, shit! Yoo Joonghyuk was kissing him.
How the fuck was Dionysus doing this all the time? How on earth was that dude always so chill
about it? Kim Dokja was going to have a panic attack.
He had to breathe, holy fucking shit! He was kissing him!
How the fuck do you even kiss someone? He found that all the information he got from the books
he had read was absolutely useless now.
The books only described the emotions the character was feeling, and how the partner's lips felt or
tasted. It was just one single line and then fade to black. And what the fuck was 'lips moved in
sync' supposed to mean?! No, no, seriously? What the fuck were tongues supposed to do? And no
one mentioned the teeth!
Kim Dokja decided he had a bone to pick with the writers. What the fuck, dude? He had trusted
them!
No, no, this was fine. He had other material to go by. He had literally seen it in real life, so he
should be able to imitate it, right? Kim Dokja was horrible at picking up things like this, but he
could give it a go.
Kim Dokja pushed Yoo Joonghyuk off him. The woman had been sitting on her partner then, so he
moved to the position he remembered seeing. Huh? This made it easier for him. He hadn't realised
that his back was in an uncomfortable position when he was lying on the sofa.
He felt Yoo Joonghyuk tremble in his arms and he ran his hand along his back, hoping that it
would help him calm down. He was new to this as well. It was fine, he wanted to tell him. They
could just learn together, and it will be fine.
Kissing was strange, Kim Dokja found. It was such a weird feeling. He wasn't as aversive to it as he
had originally thought he would be.
Yoo Joonghyuk's hands slid around his waist and Kim Dokja opened his eyes to watch his
expression. Yoo Joonghyuk was frowning a little, his eyelids twitching. It didn't look like he was
terrible at it. That's a relief.
Kim Dokja closed his eyes again when Yoo Joonghyuk's hand found his hair. He was expecting a
harsh tug, but instead, Yoo Joonghyuk just held his head in place. It was relaxing in a way. Kim
Dokja could have fallen asleep to that feeling, if only it hadn't been for Yoo Joonghyuk's mouth
working heatedly against his.
Slow down, he wanted to tell him. He had to breathe too! Maybe he should open his mouth a bit
more instead of sucking his lips, if that made sense.
Alright, he was going to try something. Please, don't fuck it up.

Kim Dokja felt himself shudder when he pushed his own tongue into Yoo Joonghyuk's mouth. The
grip against his waist tightened and it made his breath catch in his lungs.
Yoo Joonghyuk let out a soft sound and Kim Dokja felt his legs lose all their strength.
He needed to think properly, he really was going to start panicking at this rate.
Kim Dokja pulled away, trying to catch his breath. Hadn't he been breathing all the while? His
heart was hammering away in his chest, and Kim Dokja had felt this before when he was having a
panic attack. . .That might have been an extreme example. It was much more pleasant than a panic
attack, but his heart really was beating very fast. It was making it a bit difficult to breathe
normally.
Yoo Joonghyuk's fingers tangled in his hair and pulled him back, their lips meeting each other
again. Kim Dokja thought he had the upperhand, now he wondered if he had ever had the
upperhand when it came to Yoo Joonghyuk.
Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck!
So this was what everyone was after! God, this could be addicting. He was so screwed now.
Every nerve in his body seemed to be crackling with electricity. The songs were starting to make so
much more sense now. Kim Dokja thought not being able to think properly would make him feel
wretched, but this was incredible. He didn't want to think at all if he could just keep feeling this.
They broke apart sluggishly.
How did it feel stranger when they were not kissing now?! Why did this make no sense at all?
Kim Dokja wasn't really thinking when he pressed his forehead to Yoo Joonghyuk's. He just
wanted to feel close again. He kept his eyes shut close feeling them start to prickle. Kim Dokja
relaxed into Yoo Joonghyuk's hold when his cheek brushed against his.
He really needed to breathe properly. It was probably the lack of oxygen that was making his brain
work like a clunky, rebooting computer.
"Joonghyuk-ah?" Kim Dokja breathed and Yoo Joonghyuk hummed softly to let him know that he
was listening.
Kim Dokja kept his eyes closed all the while as Yoo Joonghyuk left soft, wet kisses on his cheeks
before kissing him again.
It was so hot. Kim Dokja thought he had just broken out into a fever.
When Yoo Joonghyuk's hand stroked his face, cheek, and jaw, Kim Dokja felt like he could just
cry. Yoo Joonghyuk's large hand travelling down his body was so strange.
It was a new feeling, it was something so foreign, so much that it scared him. Even so, he couldn't
find it in himself to ask him to stop.
Yoo Joonghyuk pulled him closer into him and Kim Dokja's eyes snapped open, he had to clamp
his teeth shut before he made an indecent noise.
"Yoo Joonghyuk," Kim Dokja tried warning the other man.
Didn't he feel just how...how. . .Kim Dokja's brain had to search far and wide to find an appropriate
word to describe the feeling. His brain's inability to work at the moment did not help at all. He
knew almost four languages and yet the best word his brain could come up with was electrifying.
He felt that wasn't enough either.
So Kim Dokja stayed like that, and Yoo Joonghyuk held him.
He really was going to cry now.
Kim Dokja took Yoo Joonghyuk's face in his hands and pushed his lips onto his again. Yoo
Joonghyuk kissed him back, hips rolling against his and Kim Dokja could have just broken down
right then and there.
Alright. Fine. It's fine. He saw where this was going.
They both wanted it. It wasn't that something was wrong with him for feeling this was for Yoo
Joonghyuk just because of a kiss...or multiple kisses. Hang on, were they making out? Was that
what it was?
Right, right. Where to go from here? Two options. One, he could say that they had to stop and part
for the day, deal with the aftermath in the morning.
Two, they could keep going on with this, immediate gratification of desire and see where it takes
them, deal with the aftermath in the morning.
Brain, please work, damnit!
Fine, second option. Kim Dokja didn't think he would be able to say no, especially with how Yoo
Joonghyuk was kissing him.
Yeah, he was so fucking screwed. Absolutely fucked.
But what were they supposed to do? Did Yoo Joonghyuk know? Kim Dokja had some vague idea
he could go on about. And what about Yoo Joonghyuk? Would he like that?
Kim Dokja pried himself out of Yoo Joonghyuk's grasp and moved away, breaking their kiss.
"Joonghyuk-ah," Kim Dokja called, stumbling off the sofa and onto his feet. He ran a hand through
his hair, thinking fast.
"I'm not going to clean the sofa. It's new, if you ruin it I'm kicking you out."
"What?" Yoo Joonghyuk breathed.
Okay, he was going on top. Yoo Joonghyuk was clueless as fuck, so the responsibility fell onto
Kim Dokja for the night.
In all means of speaking, like objectively, it made sense that Kim Dokja would bottom. But now
that he'd gotten the idea in his head, it wasn't going out. He'll see how Yoo Joonghyuk reacts to it
and adapt accordingly.
"Come on," Kim Dokja said and held his hand out. Yoo Joonghyuk took it immediately and Kim
Dokja felt like smiling. He pulled Yoo Joonghyuk to his feet and led them to his room.
His room had the things they needed. Kim Dokja mentally thanked Dionysus for his stupid guide
and his past self for deciding to buy things on impulse.
He was of the mind that if he happened to take Yoo Joonghyuk out someday, and Yoo Joonghyuk
actually had no idea and was not prepared at all, he could help him out. He had no idea it would
come in handy like this—but hey, he wasn't complaining!
"Hey, your room's shit," Yoo Joonghyuk mumbled, clinging to Kim Dokja's hand. "Mine's got
soundproofing."
What was wrong with his room? And is that all that mattered? Sound-proofing? How loud did this
guy even think they were going to be?
"Dumbass," Kim Dokja muttered to himself a smile tugging at his lips. "Look at this troublesome
guy. He's lucky he's cute."
Yoo Joonghyuk under him was a wonderful sight. So his brain did have some sort of capacity to
function right.
"You're being a fool," Yoo Joonghyuk said.
He was so unnecessarily cute. He wasn't even glaring at him anymore. And Kim Dokja would have
believed that he was doing something foolish if Yoo Joonghyuk wasn't looking up at him with
wide eyes, swallowing in anticipation.
Just be honest, this idiot.
"What nonsense are you saying, you sunfish bastard?" Kim Dokja kissed him. He moved so that he
could plant his knees properly on the bed. Falling off because he slipped would be the absolute
worst.
Their heartbeats were so loud, Kim Dokja thought it would end up hurting his eardrums. Yoo
Joonghyuk was trembling and he could feel it. He wasn't sure if Yoo Joonghyuk could feel his
hands shaking as well.
Yoo Joonghyuk closed his eyes as Kim Dokja slid his hand under his dark shirt, tugging it up as he
went, stroking his abdomen. Why was this guy so built for a gamer? He really was god's favourite,
huh? Kim Dokja had to thank whatever fate brought them here then.
"Joonghyuk-ah," he said, kissing the tanned neck. Yoo Joonghyuk's neck was much thicker than
his. Of course it was, Yoo Joonghyuk had a bigger build than him. And no matter how much he
tried, Kim Dokja could only bulk up to a certain extent.
"Trust me, alright."
Yoo Joonghyuk made a short noise in his throat. Kim Dokja vowed to learn more about this whole
thing afterwards. He didn't know a lot, and he would hate it if that impeded them somehow.
Kim Dokja moved downwards, pressing his hand onto Yoo Joonghyuk's thigh, steadying his
position. He could feel every little twitch Yoo Joonghyuk gave when he kissed his stomach. He
wanted that shirt gone, it was blocking the view.
"Lift your arms," Kim Dokja said and Yoo Joonghyuk put his arms up immediately allowing Kim
Dokja to yank the fabric off him.
Good. Now it was good.

"Are you going to keep your eyes closed all the time? Why? Want to sleep instead?"
"Shut up," Yoo Joonghyuk spat out through gritted teeth, opening his eyes grudgingly. "Get on
with it, you bastard."
Another day, he would try the other option his mind had suggested. Today, he sufficed with saying,
"Whatever you want, Joonghyuk-ah."
Yoo Joonghyuk bit his lip when Kim Dokja jerked his knee up, pressing down on the bulge in his
pants.
"Don't bite your lips," Kim Dokja said. He caught Yoo Joonghyuk's bottom lip with his thumb and
tugged it out of the grasp of his teeth. His lips felt different on his fingers than on his lips. They
were still soft, but now he could see the glossy rosey sheen their kiss had left on them.
He bent his thumb into Yoo Joonghyuk's mouth, his nail catching the crown of his incisor. His
teeth were pearly white too. He drank coffee too, so why weren't his teeth starting to yellow? Why
was his mouth pretty as well?
"Loosen up," he muttered when Yoo Joonghyuk attempted to clench his teeth. He wanted to see
more, how was he supposed to do that if he closed his mouth?
"Open," Yoo Joonghyuk did as told and Kim Dokja could feel himself smiling widely. He pushed
his thumb further in, his digit sliding over the wet appendage.
"Good," he breathed before he could help himself.
It could easily be a stock photo on the internet. Didn't this guy eat the fried chicken and beer too?
Why was it so pink?
The pink was spreading, gradually turning a darker shade.
Oh. . . Yoo Joonghyuk was blushing.
The most gorgeous shade of scarlet was blooming across his face, from his cheeks to his ears,
down to his neck.
Kim Dokja could feel the blood rushing all over his own face and body. Yoo Joonghyuk was
blushing. It made him blush for some reason.
"You're cute," Kim Dokja said truthfully. "Very pretty." Yoo Joonghyuk flinched and flushed
harder.
Did he like compliments? Kim Dokja could compliment him all night long if that's what it took to
keep that look on his face.
Yoo Joonghyuk was looking away now, flustered. That was cute as well, but he shouldn't tease
him too much. Kim Dokja really would kill himself if this ended in a disaster.
He detached his thumb from his mouth and pushed him further into the mattress with a bruising
kiss, revelling in the soft moans that Yoo Joonghyuk made getting lost in his mouth.
His heart was banging against his ribs, and if he happened to die today, then all was good. Best
way to go ever.
Of course, that would traumatize Yoo Joonghyuk, so he couldn't have that. He could die after all
this was done then. Yeah, he would have zero complaints if that was how things went.
He had complaints. He had a lot of complaints.
Why was he not dead? He had been expecting to be dead. Wasn't that something like the last meal
sort of thing? He was still allowed to be alive after that?
. . .Shit.
Kim Dokja stared at the familiar dark ceiling of his room as he had done so many times before. But
here's the deal, right now, there was someone else on his bed, sleeping right next to him.
He'd slept with Yoo Joonghyuk last night. Correction, a few hours ago.
It was only seven in the morning. Usually, Kim Dokja would have woken up early simply because
he wasn't able to sleep longer. He had probably slept for longer today because he was tired out last
night. Honestly speaking, he hadn't had such wonderful sleep in a long time.
But Yoo Joonghyuk was still lying next to him.
Kim Dokja tentatively rolled over to his side, careful not to wake Yoo Joonghyuk up. He was
sleeping peacefully, that was good.
Yoo Joonghyuk's chest was rising and falling along with his steady breathing. He was bare under
the blanket that covered him, a hand outside, resting on his abdomen. The other hand had been
holding Kim Dokja a while ago until they moved around in their sleep.
Kim Dokja moved his eyes to Yoo Joonghyuk's face instead. He was no longer scowling like he
usually did and Kim Dokja wanted no one to see the serene expression on his face right now. His
dark hair fell over his face, a few strands sticking out here and there. Even his bedhead looked as
good as a styled one. Maybe it was just him.
Kim Dokja moved his hand to gently brush his fingers along his jaw. He could kill a man with that
jawline, really. Makes him wonder, why did Yoo Joonghyuk want to kiss him in the first place?
Seriously, he could have done so much better than just Kim Dokja.
He wasn't exactly complaining. In fact, he was going to add this to the list of blessings in his life.
Yoo Joonghyuk had touched him and allowed him to touch him as well. Maybe he had exhausted
the quota of good luck in his life with this.
He slowly pushed Yoo Joonghyuk's hair out of his eyes. Though he had his eyelids closed, Kim
Dokja could imagine those eyes behind them. They reminded him of the dark obsidian stones his
father had for his cufflinks. Kim Dokja didn't need to think hard to imagine the way they looked
almost golden when caught in the sunlight, just at the right angles.
His thumb was stroking Yoo Joonghyuk's cheek before he knew it. Yoo Joonghyuk frowned for a
second, and Kim Dokja gave a start. Then he relaxed and turned to lie on his side, facing Kim
Dokja and leaning into his touch.
Were people actually supposed to be this beautiful? Yoo Joonghyuk was probably God's magnum
opus.
Kim Dokja jumped when he heard his phone ringing from the floor.
He glanced at Yoo Joonghyuk who was still sleeping and rolled out of bed as quickly as he could
to extract his phone from wherever the fuck it was among the mess on the floor.
He finally found it and took the call. He would have pressed the red button, but it was his mother
calling him and if he didn't pick up, she was going to get really worried.
"Mother," he gasped, looking at Yoo Joonghyuk. He was still asleep, good.
"Dokja-yah, are you alright?" his mother had heard his frantic tone.
"Perfectly fine, mama," Kim Dokja assured her. "I was just...startled."
"Were you asleep?" Persephone said. "This late?"
"Yeah," Kim Dokja croaked out. "We finished setting up the TV late last night and ended up
watching movies for hours."
"Oh, did you have fun?" she asked.
"Yeah, yeah, a lot of fun," Kim Dokja nodded. He would not make the mistake of recollecting
everything that had happened last night when he was on the phone with his mother. He could have
told them that he had slept with his roommate, but that wasn't exactly necessary. They didn't have
to know about his sexual escapades.
"Oh, which movie was it? Something I would have seen?"
"It was a famous one. Korean, I think you might have seen it. Don't remember the name. Some
romantic comedy."
"Just one movie?"
"No, we watched a horror one after that."
"Was it any good?"
"Why? Are you going to force Father to watch it along with you?" Kim Dokja smiled weakly,
sinking properly into the floor, ignoring the way his muscles were screaming.
He really needed to exercise more. There was a reason why his master kept warning him.
"I am not afraid of horror films," Hades' voice said from the background. Of course, they had
called him together. They always did.
"I didn't say you were, father," Kim Dokja chuckled.
Kim Dokja sat in the room, speaking quietly to his parents for a while until they finally bid
goodbye and he looked at the time.
Quarter past ten.
Did he really just stay all this time in bed staring at Yoo Joonghyuk's face?
Kim Dokja got to his feet, sneaking a glance at sleeping Yoo Joonghyuk. . .Sleeping Beauty stood
no fucking chance. And if Yoo Joonghyuk were the sleeping princess in some way and Kim Dokja
had to kiss him to wake him up, it would cause a shit ton of trouble because Kim Dokja could just
spend centuries staring at that peaceful, stunning face.
He fumbled around the room, gathering their clothes. He chucked his into the laundry basket in the
corner of the room and folded up Yoo Joonghyuk's and left it on the edge of the bed. Just in case
he needs something when he wakes up. Kim Dokja's clothes are not going to fit him, really, so
borrowing was out of the question.
Ah, fuck, the living room. It was probably all cluttered now. What about the chicken bones? Were
they at least in the trash?
First, he needed a shower though. With a to-do list forming in his mind, Kim Dokja set to work.
Kim Dokja wasn't terrible at cooking, but if he compared it to Yoo Joonghyuk's it would fall a bit
short. He could cook right now, but he thought he needed to clear his head. The shower and
cleaning hadn't been enough.
He washed the rice, put it in the rice cooker and switched the appliance on. He could order
something online and have it delivered, but he was trying to take a walk and get his thoughts
straight.
. . .Clearly, he was not straight. He would start with that.
The sun was shining brightly up in the sky as he stepped out of the house, hoping that Yoo
Joonghyuk would still continue sleeping. He usually woke up late, since he stayed up late as well,
and he had most of his classes in the afternoon anyway.
Kim Dokja hadn't given two shits about his sexuality in all these years. Yeah, Dionysus liked to
make fun of him for that and kept hinting at trying with males.
He did find people attractive, men or women, but that didn't mean he wanted to sleep with them.
He just found them pleasing to look at. And if he was gay, why didn't he feel like he wanted to
sleep with any other handsome men he knew or met?
He ordered two hangover soups for take-away at the restaurant he remembered Yoo Joonghyuk
telling him was alright one day and waited. He pulled his phone out and looked it up on the
internet.
By the time he got his orders, and put his phone back in, he was left more confused than he had
arrived. He knew a lot more right now, that's for sure, but it didn't mean he understood himself any
better.
What a dilemma to face right after he lost his virginity.
Hang on! What about Yoo Joonghyuk then?

Well, it didn't really matter what he was as long as he didn't regret sleeping with Kim Dokja.
Oh, fuck! Yoo Joonghyuk had been drunk last night, hadn't he? Kim Dokja was in his right mind
completely. Did that mean he took advantage of Yoo Joonghyuk? Should he just show himself to
the police station? Or maybe even let Yoo Joonghyuk kill him?
What would he do if Yoo Joonghyuk said he absolutely hated it and wanted Kim Dokja gone
immediately?
He was a few metres away from their place when he realised this. He stood there for a while,
walking around in circles, debating with himself, wondering if he should just run.
He could always go back to Greece. He'll just stay there for the rest of his life and never show
himself to the world. Should he go get some flowers or something? What flowers did he like? Was
he allergic to pollen? How about a gift? Cufflinks? Father likes cufflinks and tie clips. But Yoo
Joonghyuk didn't wear suits or ties, so not those, then. Did he have suits or ties? Should he get him
a suit?
"Did you fight with your girlfriend?"
Kim Dokja jumped.
"Ah, good afternoon," he bowed respectfully to the old security guard who stood by the gates of
the complex.
"You should go quickly," the guard told him wisely. "You stay out longer, you are only giving
them more time to get angry."
"Shouldn't their anger lessen, though?" Kim Dokja said weakly.
"Eyy, d'you really think that's how it works?" the guard scoffed, waving a hand dismissively. "I've
been married thirty-eight years, believe me, I know."
Kim Dokja took the guard's word for it and went back home even though all he wanted to do was
run the other way until he was thinking right.
He opened the door and as he stepped in, listened carefully for any movement. Please, be asleep.
He would prepare the best breakfast or rather lunch in bed to appease Yoo Joonghyuk. Just let him
be sleeping.
He closed the door quietly and let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.
He hadn't even let go of the door handle he was sliding back into place when he heard footsteps
stomp up to him.
Can't have everything in life, now could they?
"Oh, Joonghyuk-ah?" Kim Dokja said smiling nervously. "You're up."
"You were sleeping well, so I didn't want to wake you up," he tried reasoning. Yoo Joonghyuk
looked really mad.
"Where were you?" Yoo Joonghyuk glared at him. Kim Dokja waved the bag he was holding in
hopes that his mental battle wouldn't be noticeable.
"You drank a lot last night so I got hangover soup from that place you said was fine," he said.
"It was super busy in the afternoon," Kim Dokja took his shoes off and rushed to the kitchen to set
up the plates. He kept his attention on Yoo Joonghyuk he was following him.
"Afternoon?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked and Kim Dokja heard the rage in his voice melt a bit. Oh,
thank heavens for that.
"When did you wake up?"
He gave Yoo Joonghyuk a bottle of hangover cure he had bought from the convenience store near
their place.
"Not sure. I think somewhere around eleven?" Kim Dokja lied. He was not going to tell Yoo
Joonghyuk that he woke up early and spent hours just staring at his face.
Yoo Joonghyuk was still glaring at him, so he kept talking. He explained his activities that
morning as simply as he could.
"Go put on a shirt and come eat," he told Yoo Joonghyuk, who thankfully wasn't looking as angry
anymore.
Yoo Joonghyuk retreated nicely, giving Kim Dokja enough time to set up their table. He made sure
to set it up as nicely as he could and waited for Yoo Joonghyuk to return.
People often have headaches after drinking heavily, don't they? Kim Dokja had drunk like there
was no tomorrow only a couple of times, and that was under the security of his parents' home and
they had made sure to take care of him after that.
"Do you have a headache?" he asked Yoo Joonghyuk. "I have some painkillers if you want, but
take it after you finish eating. Let me get it for you."
"Kim Dokja," Yoo Joonghyuk said finally, after a long while of nothing but silence and their
cutlery clanking against their plates.
"What?" he said, lowering his spoon. This was it. Yoo Joonghyuk could go, "Kim Dokja, you will
die by my hands" and Kim Dokja wouldn't have a complaint at all...That was a bit more Regressor
Yoo Joonghyuk style though.
"What are you?" Yoo Joonghyuk said, jostling him out of his thoughts.
Kim Dokja stared at Yoo Joonghyuk. . .Oh, so he was just as confused as Kim Dokja was. He was
new to this as well. Right, that had slipped his mind.
What could he say to comfort Yoo Joonghyuk? "I don't know either" isn't the most comforting
thing ever, it would make it sound like he was doubting or regretting the night they had spent
together.
And Kim Dokja might be confused, but he had zero regrets about what had happened.
"Hungry," he decided to say. "You?"
The look on Yoo Joonghyuk's face relaxed and Kim Dokja was glad.
"Same," the larger man said. Then he commented on the food. "It's average."
Kim Dokja sighed in relief. "I bought it from that Aunty Song's place though," he said. "You said it
was fine."
"I said their fried rice was fine. I've never had their hangover soup."
"Is it bad?"
"Average. I could make better."
Yoo Joonghyuk did the dishes and Kim Dokja left to put their clothes for washing. He didn't have a
lot so it shouldn't take too long to dry. He wouldn't even have to put them in the dryer, he could just
put them out on the balcony.
"Kim Dokja," Yoo Joonghyuk said from the kitchen. "Put my clothes in too."
"Okay," Kim Dokja called back. He'd just put Yoo Joonghyuk's in first then.
"I'm topping next time," Yoo Joonghyuk declared and Kim Dokja froze on his way to Yoo
Joonghyuk's room.
Then he felt his shoulders sink in relief. He couldn't help but laugh.
So he liked it too. Yoo Joonghyuk didn't hate him anymore. In fact, he was even looking forward
to a next time. Kim Dokja didn't even care if there would be no next time, as long as Yoo
Joonghyuk didn't despise him, it was fine.
"Whatever you want, Joonghyuk-ah," Kim Dokja said happily. He really would do anything Yoo
Joonghyuk wanted.
Mia moved in and everything went smoothly. Kim Dokja's tracker of how many pills he had felt
the need to take had not been filled in for a while. It seemed to worry his personal doctor so he
called him and asked him if everything was alright.
And Kim Dokja told him he was feeling just fine, better even, actually. That made his parents think
that South Korea suited him better and he had to reassure them that he just had excellent company
here.
Chapter End Notes

I was like thiiiis close to writing smut. Thiiiis close, I tell you
I tried, man, I really did
Chapter 20
The background noise was irritating at first, but ignorable if he tried hard enough. Now it was just
reaching the point of granting his ears with intolerable nonsense.
Think of nice things instead, Kim Dokja told himself. He was on his phone, reading his favourite
web novel once again to spend time at this gathering. At this point, he might as well have the
whole story memorized to the point that he could blurt out the words verbatim if he was asked.
A notification slid down to his screen from the top and he couldn't help but smile at it. It was from
Yoo Joonghyuk's contact, but the way the text was written, he could tell it was Mia who sent it,
probably sitting on the sofa on her knees, the phone before her, typing slowly with her little fingers,
until Yoo Joonghyuk came and took the phone away, asking her what she wanted to tell Dokja
Oppa so he could text him faster.
"Kim Dokja Sunbae,"
Kim Dokja looked up.
"Is that your girlfriend?" one of the girls sitting a few seats away from his at the other side of the
table asked. "You're smiling a lot."
Well, no. But he didn't really have to go into the details right now, did he? So he just smiled and
went back to texting. . .Was he really smiling a lot? Is that a bad thing?
"...never seen him smile before."
What was there for him to smile for though? What did these people know? They've never seen him
outside class and other department gatherings he was forced to go to. He smiled plenty, thanks a
lot.
"No way he's got a girlfriend," he heard someone whisper. "He's too gloomy for that."
Oh, wow, okay. They weren't wrong, though. Kim Dokja had never dated anyone in his life. It
doesn't matter, he wasn't looking for anything. He was more than satisfied with his life as it was
right now. . .Gloomy? Did he come off as gloomy? Well, he wasn't one for interacting much with
people anyway.
He texted Mia that he would come home soon, it wasn't like he was doing much at this place
anyway. And that he'd bring fried chicken for her too. Mia asked for chocolates, and a few seconds
later he got a text saying asking him not to get anything unnecessary and that Mia has enough
sweets at home.
Kim Dokja would get her something anyway. And he would get scolded by Yoo Joonghyuk for
that, and he would keep the candies at a place Mia couldn't reach and ration them out every day.
He had even started keeping a count of how many sweets were there because Kim Dokja kept
sneaking a few down to Mia whenever she asked.
Sending a few placating messages to Yoo Joonghyuk, Kim Dokja went back to the web novel he
was reading. He typed out another comment for the author, highlighting a dialogue he hadn't
noticed so far and just how it brought out the depth and feelings the character was going through at
the moment. Rereading could really show him so much more than he would have had he left it
after reading it just once.
Harsh swears met his ears, interrupting his reading. He was forced to look up.
"She's at it again," the girl who had spoken to him before sighed, looking at the little group having
a verbal spat a few feet away. Her friends sighed, "Again," they mumbled.
"She's going to get in serious trouble one day, I'm telling you," the guy sitting beside Kim Dokja
said, swirling his drink in his hand and watching the fight with a dry expression, but his eyes said
otherwise. He looked very interested in the fight.
"She's too disrespectful."
"Shouldn't someone stop her?"
"She really doesn't know how the world works, huh?"
Maybe, Kim Dokja would agree. He didn't know what exactly had riled this girl up so much that
she was literally threatening people twice her size. She looked like an angry cat hissing away at
them.
There was a junior in his department who always seemed to get into trouble. Even at a department
gathering, where they were drinking and playing drinking games, this girl got into a fight with
some of the older guys.
He would have called her a chihuahua, but she looked a bit too much like a cat in his opinion. Dark
hair that fell just below her shoulders, big eyes that slanted slightly upwards, and a beauty mark
under her eye. She would look quite pretty if she didn't have the dark scowl on her face at the
moment.
Kim Dokja, who was rereading Ways of Survival, still waiting for the author to return from their
hiatus, was starting to get annoyed and decided it was time to intervene. He wouldn't have done
that usually, but he did not want to ruin Regressor Yoo Joonghyuk slaughtering Yamato no Orochi
by this drunken squabble.
"Sunbae-nims, don't you think you've had enough to drink?" Kim Dokja said sharply, making
everyone turn to him. He really hated the attention, and he wasn't exactly known for talking a lot.
Oh, how he wished he could be back home helping Mia with her homework and teasing Yoo
Joonghyuk. Ah, that reminded him, he had to get fried chicken for Mia. Yoo Joonghyuk would talk
about how he could make something better again. Sometimes Kim Dokja thought that all his
praises were going to Yoo Joonghyuk's head and inflating his ego.
Not that he minded though, he personally thought that Yoo Joonghyuk could afford to have a
gigantic ego to match his entire vibe. What's wrong with a bit of confidence?
"You're starting to blab nonsense," Kim Dokja said with a heavy sigh.
"What?! Oi, you—What's your name?" the man staggered towards him, enraged, leaving his
original target alone. She didn't look grateful in the least, but Kim Dokja hadn't been expecting
gratitude anyway.
He got up from his seat and said, "We'll get going now. I'll pay our part of the bill in the front.
Have a nice evening."
He caught the girl's eyes and nodded pointedly. She only followed with a scowl.
"What do you think you are doing?" she said as he pulled out his card to pay. "I could have
handled it myself."
"Is that so? I'll leave it to you then," Kim Dokja said dryly. "You can pay your share."
"Hey, don't you know it's rude to take back offers you make?" the girl snapped at him.
"Do you want me to pay for you or not?" Kim Dokja deadpanned.
"Ugh," the girl groaned, as he order three servings of fried chicken to go. Mia was a big eater and
ate a whole adult's portion even though she was only five. It was good though, she was a growing
girl and she looked so cute when she was eating, cheeks puffing up like a squirrel. Both Yoo
Joonghyuk and Kim Dokja liked watching Mia enjoy her food.
"I'll depend on you this once, sunbae," the girl standing next to him said, her tone changing into an
over-sweet one. Right, why would a broke college student refuse this anyway?
"Don't do that again," Kim Dokja grimaced.
"Tch," the girl clicked her tongue, her scowl back on her face. "This is a cliché, you know? The
hero saves the beauty in distress."
"What are you talking about?" Kim Dokja said, punching his pin into the card reader. "I'm no
hero."
The lady behind the counter thanked him for his patronage and Kim Dokja smiled back, returning
the bow, before collecting his bag of chicken, and turning to leave.
"And you're no beauty."
Obviously, he was lying, but she was being too rude anyway. He could hear the junior swearing
wildly behind him. She really needed to watch what she says, she was going to make heaps of
enemies if she goes around like that. Then again, Kim Dokja was the one to say that.
Kim Dokja found out the junior's name was Han Sooyoung, only when they had to go to the
department head's office for misdemeanour.
The creepy seniors had cornered Han Sooyoung for insulting them the other evening, and Kim
Dokja, just his luck, noticed it. And then that had evolved into a full-blown fight.
Surprisingly, Han Sooyoung could kick some ass. She seemed just as surprised at Kim Dokja
being able to beat some bulky seniors up.
His muscles weren't hurting much though, after all the exercise he gave them doing other
activities.
Kim Dokja pulled his pleasant smile and explained to the management just how it was not their
fault at all, and that they were trying to harass Han Sooyoung.
Han Sooyoung was a lot like him, Kim Dokja realised when she went on actually sobbing,
clutching herself and talking about how those scary men had tried to touch her and told her that
they would teach her place by force if they needed to.
"Did they actually do that?" Kim Dokja said, slightly worried as they walked out of the office.
Han Sooyoung dried her tears easily and looked at him incredulously. "Those were cliché lines
copied word for word. Did you believe me? I thought you didn't like clichés."
They became what they could only call friends after that. Han Sooyoung was still in her first year,
while Kim Dokja was in his third, but that didn't stop the girl from coming to annoy the shit out of
him.
And any chance he got to do the same, he took it. It had started out of spite, but it slowly fizzled out
before he knew it.
Han Sooyoung could be brazen and dishonest sometimes, but she was a good friend. Most
importantly, she wrote web novels.
"Which one did you write?" Kim Dokja demanded holding out his phone with the web novel
platform on it for the girl to see. "You said you were famous."
"I lied," Han Sooyoung said simply, pushing the phone away. She looked slightly ashamed for
some reason.
"As if," Kim Dokja continued pestering her. "I swear, I won't be judgy even if you write depraved
porn. I just want to know what you write. Your assignments are excellent, so if you have creative
freedom, shouldn't it be just as great?"
"Hah? What sort of logic is that?" Han Sooyoung scoffed. "What if I tell everyone? I could ruin
your reputation, you know? I can just tell them that their exemplary model Kim Dokja sunbae is a
nerd who reads web novels."
"What's wrong with web novels?" Kim Dokja protested. "No, seriously, what is wrong with them?
Some of the best works I've read are web novels. Have you ever heard of Ways of Survival by
Tls123? It's a fucking masterpiece!"
Han Sooyoung froze.
". . .Hey," she said, very disrespectful, not that she had ever spoken respectfully to him. Kim Dokja
didn't mind anyway. "What's your name? Account name."
"Which platform?" Kim Dokja asked.
"That one," Han Sooyoung said, pointing at his phone. "I write only on that one."
"Ah, it's Kim underscore Reader."
"Are you an idiot? Who gives their real name on the internet?" Han Sooyoung scolded him.
"How's that my real name?"
Han Sooyoung took weeks to crack and finally gave in that the novel she wrote was called SSSSS-
grade Infinite Regressor. Kim Dokja almost considered breaking up their friendship over that.
"You plagiarizing bitch," he had gasped. Even Han Sooyoung gasped because Kim Dokja was
never that rude, but in his eyes plagiarizing his favourite novel was a crime deserving of death.
"You were that shameless piece of shit?"

"Hey, what's wrong with my book?"
"You plagiarized it! Word for word from Ways of Survival!"
"Ways of Survival? You mean that trash? No one even reads it. And the author stopped writing
that shit ages ago!"
"Yeah, because of people like you!" Kim Dokja snarled back. "You've taken all the author's hard
work, ruined it by making it a stupid cliché and now it's lost in a bunch of other third-rate shit."
"Look at you, acting all high and mighty 'Mr I only read unpopular shit because it makes me feel
special'," Han Sooyoung sometimes knew just how to hit right at home.
Sometimes, Kim Dokja felt the only reason he liked the story so much was because he was the
only one reading it. It felt like having a pen pal sometimes, even if the author had stopped
responding to his comments a long time ago.
"What you call third-rate is what everyone wants to read, you bastard," Han Sooyoung spat. "No
one likes whatever garbage you read. I could shit out stories better than that."
"You mean like the stuff you've written?" Kim Dokja's retort was quick.
"It's better than the shit you read," Han Sooyoung wasn't one to lose either.
Needless to say, their relationship changed. Strangely, it wasn't for the worst.
Kim Dokja had thought it would be, but Han Sooyoung kept coming to him to read her new
chapters and asking him to give his opinions on it. At first, Kim Dokja said it was absolute shit and
picked the manuscript apart word by word, letter by letter ruthlessly just to annoy Han Sooyoung.
That somehow led Han Sooyoung to announce a hiatus and tell her fans that she was restarting her
book to make the reading experience better or some nonsense.
Kim Dokja had another person who would text him at odd hours of the night, and if he ignored the
messages, she would call him.
"It's three in the morning," Kim Dokja sighed wearily, getting out of bed so that he wouldn't disturb
Yoo Joonghyuk.
"Hey, I've sent you a new chapter," Han Sooyoung said, clearly sounding deranged due to lack of
sleep. "Read and tell me what you think,"
"Han Sooyoung, it's three in the morning," Kim Dokja repeated, getting his clothes anyway, he
couldn't get out of the room naked and his laptop was in the other room.
"It's four, you blind idiot," Han Sooyoung hissed. "And you're awake anyway. You can't judge
me."
"I am awake because you woke me up," Kim Dokja said sharply.
"Good," Han Sooyoung's savage reply came. "Take it or leave it, bitch. My SSSSS-grade Infinite
Regressor is the closest you're going to get to your trash Regressor crush.
Kim Dokja as always was going to take it, grudgingly albeit. Han Sooyoung, that little bitch, she
knew just how to get Kim Dokja hooked. She was an excellent writer and though it felt like he was
getting physically wounded by reading and editing that trash, it was the closest he was ever going
to get to Ways of Survival. He still read and left comments on Ways of Survival though.
If Tls123 ever comes back, he was going so going to abandon Han Sooyoung. He made sure to tell
her that as well. But she only laughed and said that his Tls123 was a coward who had abandoned
their work because Han Sooyoung's novel was better than they could have ever written.
Kim Dokja threatened to do a sub-par job at editing and Han Sooyoung apologized immediately.
He thought she was so much more complacent when she was sleep deprived. If only she wasn't just
as rude it would have been fine.
"Kim Dokja."
Kim Dokja jumped, phone to his ear, trying to get into his pants with just one hand.
"I'm hanging up," he said quickly, as he heard Han Sooyoung mimicking throwing up on the other
side. He cut the call and put the phone away.
"Where are you going?" Yoo Joonghyuk said, blinking blearily up at him.
"I've got some work to do," Kim Dokja told the younger man. Slipping his pants up was so much
easier now that he had two free hands to use. He went over to Yoo Joonghyuk and brushed his hair
away from his face.
"Go back to bed, Joonghyuk-ah."
"What work do you have this early in the morning?" Yoo Joonghyuk grumbled, closing his eyes
and succumbing to sleep anyway.
"I just have some stuff to go through," Kim Dokja said, still running his fingers through Yoo
Joonghyuk's hair.
Yoo Joonghyuk hummed lightly and soon fell back asleep. For a second, Kim Dokja considered
bringing his laptop here and doing his work beside Yoo Joonghyuk in bed.
He decided against it, no matter how welcoming it sounded. The clacking of the keyboard and the
bright light would probably disturb Yoo Joonghyuk. He needed to sleep properly. Kim Dokja's
insomnia wouldn't have let him sleep for longer anyway, he would have woken up in an hour or so
by habit.
He should make something nice for Yoo Joonghyuk when he wakes up as consolation though. His
coffee-making skills were improving these days, after working at Elysium. He wasn't required to
work though, he just took the role of 'manager', sat in a nice office and finished the actual work he
had to do, occasionally stepping out to check if everything was running smoothly and learning how
to make coffee or bake when he felt like it.
He really should get them a coffee machine, there were so many things he could make once he had
that.
Mia can't have coffee though. He could do something with just milk. . .He should learn how to do
that coffee art thing, and he could make something cutesy on hot chocolate or something to just
blow Mia's mind.
He wondered what Yoo Joonghyuk's reaction would be life when he finally got latte art down and
made something for him.
Even imagining it made him grin like an idiot.

"Hey," Kim Dokja said one day, chilling in their spot in the corner of the library. Han Sooyoung
had bloodshot eyes, sipping from the coffee cup beside her laptop as she stared at it with what
could be only described as hatred.
"Do you think it's normal for a person to get mad at you if you spend money on them?"
Han Sooyoung looked at him incredulously.
"If you have money to throw around, give it to me," she said blandly.
"Why are you so shameless?"
"Does having shame do anything for you in the capitalist society?"
Fair enough. Kim Dokja couldn't say much because he was part of the problem contributing to the
capitalist society that Han Sooyoung was talking about.
"Answer my question though," Kim Dokja urged.
"I need more context, you little shit," Han Sooyoung grumbled, taking another swig of her now
cold coffee.
"Right," Kim Dokja swallowed. It took him a while to explain the situation to her and by the end of
it, Han Sooyoung looked majorly pissed.
"So, you're telling me, you have a roommate, who you are fuck-buddies with—"
"Don't say it like that."
"That's literally what you are doing!—Fine. So you sleep with this guy and you guys live with his
sister and he gets mad when you pay for his and his sister's things?"
"Hmm, you've got the basics down," Kim Dokja nodded reluctantly.
"First of all," Han Sooyoung took a deep breath. "Why the fuck are you telling me this?"
"We're friends, aren't we?" Kim Dokja said, slightly worried.
Han Sooyoung stared at her hands for a while and then, as though she had just heard the worst
news of her life, muttered, "Right, we are friends. . .Why are you my friend? Why don't I have
other friends?"
"Because of your shit personality," Kim Dokja provided.
"Why are you friends with me then?" she sneered.
"Because of your shit personality," Kim Dokja shrugged. "I can trust you, that's all there is to it."
He would kill himself before he reveals that he actually liked Han Soooyoung's writing and he
might be getting just a little attached to the rip-off characters she writes about. He still liked his
regressor more though, just maybe, Yu Jonghyun seemed alright sometimes.
Han Sooyoung scrunched up her nose in disgust, her cheeks tinging a light pink. "God, you are so
cringe. I'll ditch you if you spread your cringe loser vibes around me."
"Yeah, yeah, do whatever, but author-nim, help me out here, yeah?" Kim Dokja said, bringing back
the original topic when he too felt that his declaration was a bit embarrassing.
"Buy me another coffee after this," she said, waving a finger at him.
"I'll get you cake as well if you help me here," Kim Dokja promised.
"Great doing business with you," Han Sooyoung grinned, slamming her laptop shut and getting to
her feet. She left her empty coffee cup on the table and Kim Dokja picked it up to throw it in the
dustbin on their way out of the library.
"Maybe the guy thinks you're hitting on his sister," she said. "And since he hasn't stopped sleeping
with you, he's jealous or mad that you're trying to pull two of them at once."
Kim Dokja stared at her like she was something unpleasant he stepped on. "She's five. I'm getting
normal five-year-old things for a five-year-old."
"Oh, shit," Han Sooyoung gasped. "My bad—You didn't tell me she was a child though!. . .Then
maybe the guy's got an inferiority complex. You know, you keep buying him things—Are they
expensive?"
"Sometimes," Kim Dokja admitted.
"How many times, out of ten?"
"Depends, really. . .um, maybe six?"
Han Sooyoung spun her head around to stare at him. She looked him up and down and then
narrowed her eyes.
"You—Are you rich?" she demanded.
"Moderately," Kim Dokja said.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means I don't have to go to sleep worrying about my living expenses every day."
"Damn must be nice having rich parents, huh?" Han Sooyoung sneered.
"Yep, it's a dream come true," Kim Dokja deadpanned.
"Buy me shit too, then, you bastard," she huffed. "Or do you only buy things for people who you
sleep with?"
"I do buy you things! I buy all your coffee and your lunches and your other cravings!"
"They're my payment, bitch," Han Sooyoung said. She really was shameless.
"I should be getting paid for all the work I'm doing, editing your plagiarized bullshit," Kim Dokja
said, miffed.
"I can always go online and ask for better people, you know," Han Sooyoung said scathingly. "I'm
only coming to you because you'll die if you don't have enough of your regressor crush one day,
you desperate loser."
Kim Dokja could have gone on a long, long rant about how Han Sooyoung was so wrong. But he
had a more important situation at hand, and he really needed help with that.
"I'm getting things for him because I get reminded of him when I see it," Kim Dokja said, hoping
his defence was strong enough. "I'll just be browsing online or looking around a shop and I see
something that reminds me of him and I get it."
Han Sooyoung pulled a disgusted look and shook her head.
"Why are you getting shit for his sister then?"
"He loves his sister," Kim Dokja said. "Getting her things makes both of them happy. And that
makes me happy. I like her too, she's a cute kid. Don't you like making kids happy?"
Han Sooyoung rolled her eyes dramatically. "When I see a kid, my first reaction is to give it a kick.
Don't ask me."
"You're horrible."
"Thanks."
Han Sooyoung let out a sigh, and then slowly said, "By any chance, do you think gift-giving is
your love language?"
"What's that?"
And so Han Sooyoung explained it to him on their way to the cafeteria, where Kim Dokja let her
get whatever she wanted, which was just a coffee and two cakes for herself.
By the end of it, Kim Dokja said, "I am just trying to show my gratitude. Not trying to win his
affections."
Han Sooyoung dropped her fork onto the cheap little styrofoam plate that the university cafeteria
provided and the piece of cake fell off the plate, onto the ground.
"What did you just say?" she breathed.
"I'm not trying to seduce him or anything like you said. I don't think he's interested in dating me."
Han Sooyoung almost screamed. "Are you crazy, you dumb bastard?!"
She swore at him a lot more, angrily shoved in and finished both her cakes, made Kim Dokja get
her two more and when he finally sat down, she had calmed down enough to look him in the eye
and said, "You dumb fucker."
Kim Dokja rolled his eyes in exasperation.
"No, you are sleeping with this dude, and it's been going for a while now and you've been buying
him shit every time you fuck?"
"Not every time," Kim Dokja interjected.
"You shut up and listen," Han Sooyoung glared at him, a second away from stabbing her fork into
his face. She took a deep breath and said, "From what you said, I can tell you this. You like this
guy."
"Of course, I like him. He's my friend."
Han Sooyoung placed her head in her hands and groaned. "I thought you see these kinds of idiots
in cliché plots only. I can't believe this!"
"Kim Dokja," she said sternly. looking up. "Let's take an example. You know that pretty girl—No,
that dude from the Music department. The one who looks like an idol?"
Kim Dokja nodded, wondering where she was going with this.
"If he and you become friends and you sleep together, would you get him gifts?"
"First of all," Kim Dokja started. "I would not want to sleep with him at all. And I'm not getting
him gifts because I'm sleeping with him. I'm getting it because I want to give him something."
"That's what I'm trying to tell you," Han Sooyoung hissed. "You're acting like those cringey
boyfriends who get their girlfriends shit and say 'because it reminded me of you'."
"Nobody says that in real life."
"You fucking did!"
"Not to his face, I didn't."
"If you had, you'd probably have a boyfriend by now," Han Sooyoung grumbled. "I don't
understand how you managed to pull someone even though you are such a cringe-fail loser. I have
no idea what's wrong with your roommate's tastes."
"I don't know either," Kim Dokja sighed. "I've tried to get him to tell me if he likes anyone, but he
keeps saying he doesn't need anyone else."
Han Sooyoung stared at him blankly for a few seconds, before laughing like a madwoman.
"You both are fucking idiots, then!" she cried after she finished laughing.
"That's for you to figure out, man. I don't care anymore."
Or so Han Sooyoung said. She was always trying to find out what happened between Kim Dokja
and Yoo Joonghyuk. She didn't want to hear about their sex lives, but rather what happened
normally. Kim Dokja didn't mind sharing something that was so mundane so he told her.
He didn't know why she was so curious when she only looked pissed off by the end of it.
Something was seriously wrong with her.
"Hey, come with me for a blind date," she said one day. "I said I'll get someone."
"I'm not interested," Kim Dokja said blandly.
"Just come along and sit there, dude," Han Sooyoung tried convincing him. "You just have to talk a
bit. You don't have to even agree to a second date."
Finally, Han Sooyoung only managed to get Kim Dokja to follow her when she promised that she
would him three more chapters with scenes he had mentioned he would've liked to see.
"My story's turning into fanfiction for you," she had lamented, Kim Dokja ignored it as always.
The blind date started out a bit weird, with three men and three women, sitting across a long table
with six chairs at a cafe.
Kim Dokja waited for someone to ask him something and only then did he respond. Until someone
asked him about his roommate.
For some reason, Han Sooyoung looked very pleased when the whole thing was done.
"I don't know how you do it," she was laughing on their way back to campus. "I really don't. How
on earth do you pull bitches when you're such a loser? This world has all kinds of strange people."
"What the fuck are you talking about?" Kim Dokja snapped. He had had an unexpectedly good
time at the blind date and he didn't want Han Sooyoung to ruin it.
"You know that girl, Yerim," she said finally when she was done bad-mouthing 'strange people'.
"She's got a thing for you, I think. She probably thought you talking about things you like is cute or
something. Gap moe, 'cause you don't talk too much."
"Don't lie to me," Kim Dokja rolled his eyes and Han Sooyoung giggled some more.
"You want me to set you up on another date with her?" she asked.
"No, I'm not interested in dating her," Kim Dokja said truthfully. Kang Yerim was nice and all, but
he didn't think he would like to date her.
"You didn't like anyone else either, did you?" Han Sooyoung said smugly. "I know why."
"You do, do you?" Kim Dokja said dryly. Whatever went on in that girl's mind was a mystery to
him sometimes and he had stopped trying to figure it out.
"You want to know something else that I found?" she said.
"What?" he said to entertain her. She would tell him anyway.
"You'd rather date your roommate. You like that guy. Like romantically."
"No, I don't," Kim Dokja said simply and Han Sooyoung looked at him, not playful at all.
"No, seriously," she said. "Think about it. You're in love with the guy."
"I'm really not," Kim Dokja shook his head.

"Hey, are you even thinking about it?" Han Sooyoung shot at him. "You should see your own face
when you talk about this guy. You were literally shining. If shoujo flowers and sparkles popped
up, I wouldn't even be surprised."
"Han Sooyoung, you're speaking nonsense."
"Kim Dokja, your brain is nonsense."
Kim Dokja exhaled softly, wondering if it was worth getting his reputation ruined by kicking Han
Sooyoung in public.
"I could write a stupid romance with all the shit you are doing," she told him. "You—I'm not even
going to try. I'm not equipped to deal with this shit. . .Just go read up some shit on the internet and
come back to me."
Kim Dokja did not go to the internet to read about some nonsense. Whatever Han Sooyoung was
saying was rubbish.
She seemed to know what he was thinking though, because she kept sending him links to romantic
fantasy stories, especially the ones with adventure settings and a decent plot so he couldn't say no
to reading them.
She even gave him particular chapter numbers where the characters would enter an established
relationship for him to focus on.
He wasn't in love with Yoo Joonghyuk though.
What they had was a friendly relationship of mutual trust and understanding. . .And Kim Dokja
might be doing a bit too much to show his gratitude...
Come to think of it, he had stopped doing things for Yoo Joonghyuk because he was thankful for
what he had done as a teen. It had stopped coming to his mind as a reason since a while ago.
Do friends not do that often?
Of course, not. He didn't do the same for Han Sooyoung.
How could he be sure though? He wasn't sharing a living space with Han Sooyoung and he only
met her during the long breaks they had during their lectures, and since they had lectures at
different times, it was usually just lunch breaks and other uncertain times.
He was living with Yoo Joonghyuk, they spent way too much time together. It was bound to be
different.
"You're ditching me because it's your roommate's sister's birthday in a few days and you have to
get something for them?" Han Sooyoung said over the phone, very irritated.
"And you're only friends-with-benefits with this guy?"
"Han Sooyoung, what do you want?" Kim Dokja sighed. "Who asked you to agree to go drinking
anyway?"
"I thought you'd be free, you little shit," Han Sooyoung snapped at him. "I thought you'd be down
to coming along. I heard some hotties were coming and thought if we tried, we could both get
someone."
"I'm not looking for a one-night stand."
"I know that," Han Sooyoung snorted. "You have a fuck-buddy back at home. I was thinking of
something more stable, you idiot. I was thinking of dating."
"You want to date someone already?" Kim Dokja said, slightly surprised. "Weren't you the one
who said twenties are the time for freedom and doing whatever you want?"
"Yeah, and I want to try dating now," Han Sooyoung said. "I might as well get some experience,
you know?"
"Not really," Kim Dokja said.
"You are no fun, dude," Han Sooyoung sighed. "At least get me some birthday cake."
"The birthday's next week. I can buy you some quicker."
Han Sooyoung let out another heavy sigh. "You can be so stupid sometimes, you know that?"
"What?"
"I can't do this today...Send me a picture of what you're getting customer ordered though."
"It's just a photo frame. What do you want a picture of it for?"
"Fine, keep your secrets, you bastard!"
"I can't do this today either, you little bitch," Kim Dokja said, pissed. He had no idea why Han
Sooyoung had woken up today and decided to be a menace.
Yoo Joonghyuk was a worrier, and Kim Dokja knew how it could affect someone, just letting
thoughts stew in their head and eating them up from the inside. So he would try to reassure him
whenever he noticed Yoo Joonghyuk start to wiggle his eyebrows and worry.
"Joonghyuk-ah, you have me, so don't worry," is what he wanted to tell him. But he didn't think
words would be sufficient, so he used his actions to show what he meant.
Yoo Joonghyuk was starting to act very strangely these days.
The words Yoo Joonhgyuk had said kept replaying in his head like a neverending loop.
"Kim Dokja, I'll trust you with my life. My life is yours to take."
What the actual fuck is that supposed to mean?
Kim Dokja was really going to cry.
And he hated Han Sooyoung. She was the cause of this misery of his.
He had a rather embarrassing habit of relating things from real life to scenes he had read in novels.
And now, because of all the third-rate romance bullshit he had been consuming for weeks, he just
couldn't get it out of his head, how what Yoo Joonghyuk had said could line up perfectly with any
of those rofans.
He would go to Han Sooyoung, but not yet. He just knew that she was going to spend at least
fifteen minutes laughing at his expense and he was not in a mental state to face that.
'My life is yours to take.'
What is that supposed to mean?!
He had never wanted answers more desperately until now.
And why the fuck did it sound like a confession. Or worse, a wedding vow.
It was because he was reading too much romance, a reasonable part of his brain said and Kim
Dokja latched onto the explanation because that was the only thing that made sense.
If he looked at it from another setting, it would be similar to a character trusting their companion
with their life in a desolate situation.
Yeah, it probably meant that he trusted him enough to entrust both Mia and his own life into Kim
Dokja's hands.
Honestly, he should be more careful, then. Kim Dokja wasn't all that much. There wasn't a lot he
could do, really.
Yoo Joonghyuk keeps acting strangely. It doesn't stop and Kim Dokja didn't know what to do.
Yoo Joonghyuk was shaking as he held his hands, kissing them. He looked like he was seconds
away from crying and Kim Dokja felt the same.
What was he doing?
It was just Mia's birthday. It was nothing much. . .Did he go too far? Was what he did insulting
somehow? Did he hurt him somehow?
"Joonghyuk-ah, what are you doing?. . .Yoo Joonghyuk!"
Kim Dokja pulled his hands away from Yoo Joonghyuk and grabbed his face, forcing him to look
up at him. Please, don't be crying. He really didn't know what to do if he had somehow hurt this
man.
"Joonghyuk-ah, what. . .What's wrong?" Kim Dokja said, kissing him. He didn't know what else he
could do to stop Yoo Joonghyuk from looking at him like that. Like he had done something
horrible to him.
"Joonghyuk-ah, please, tell me. Tell me what's wrong."
Please, please, be alright. At least tell him what's the matter. Even if it wasn't alright, as long as he
knew, he would be able to do something about it.
"Yoo Joonghyuk, I'll listen. I'll listen to you. I won't say anything."
"Kim Dokja," Yoo Joonghyuk's voice seemed distant somehow. "Dokja."
"What is it? I'm listening, tell me. Joonghyuk-ah, I can be of help."
"Dokja—I—"
"It'll all be fine, Joonghyuk-ah," Kim Dokja whispered. He had never heard Yoo Joonghyuk sound
like that and he did not know where to go from here. He could only come up with a solution if his
brain comprehended the situation. What was he supposed to do with a situation that made no
sense?
"Dokja, please," Yoo Joonghyuk's voice might as well have been a breeze. "Please. . .I—I just—
Dokja, do you understand?"
"I get it, Yoo Joonghuk," Kim Dokja lied. He did not know, and it had never worried him as much
as now. Countless scenarios passed through his head, many having horrible, horrible endings. Did
Yoo Joonhgyuk have some sort of disease or something? Or was it Mia? What was it that he didn't
know?
"Don't worry. You should have more confidence in yourself. You are such a wonderful brother to
Mia. And you were learning, you were young too. It takes time to learn things like these."
"Joonghyuk-ah, it's really not that difficult," Kim Dokja said kissing his forehead. He had to force
himself to think reasonably, to calm down before he actually began panicking.
"To be honest, I'm not all that confident either," Kim Dokja said. "I just think about what I would
have liked to hear as a kid, what I would have felt like a kid."
Vulnerability as he had never put out in words fell from his mouth. Kim Dokja couldn't care less
about it.
"And—And, Joonghyuk-ah, you're a quick learner. You'll figure it out. You're doing so
wonderfully, Joonghyuk-ah. You don't need me, you can do it all by yourself."
Yoo Joonghyuk was strong. He had done great so far, he was incredible for that. Would telling him
that make him stop worrying about whatever this was?
". . .really?" Yoo Joonghyuk whispered.
"Really," Kim Dokja nodded. "Trust me."
Why couldn't he think calmly? For what reason was he getting so scared? The situation might not
even be as bad as he was imagining it to be. All he had to do was calm down.
Yoo Joonghyuk's arms moved from his wrists which he had been holding all this time and pulled
him closer by his hips. Kim Dokja understood the cue and kissed him hard.
Why was he not able to calm down? How bad could the situation possibly be? Talking reason,
there were only a limited amount of things that it could be. The worst results in death somehow.
And if 'dying', how many of those could he not help with?
Was it because he was feeling helpless?

No, he had felt helpless countless times in his life. He hadn't behaved like this then.
Yoo Joonghyuk was on the bed, Kim Dokja over him.
"You never strip first," Yoo Joonghyuk was muttering. What? How was that an issue?
Kim Dokja wasn't really in the mood to prod and poke and tease the reason out of Yoo Joonghyuk.
He pulled his shirt over his head immediately and chucked it to the side, before proceeding to
remove his pants.
"Is this enough?" he said, allowing Yoo Joonghyuk to kiss his neck.
"No," Yoo Joonghyuk said before sinking his teeth into his skin. It hurt, but Kim Dokja didn't
make a sound. He was thinking.
He felt sick somehow. Something in his stomach felt like it had hollowed out.
Yoo Joonghyuk was whispering something that sounded very sweet in his ears. Which was strange,
wasn't he the one who usually did it?
Wait. Was that the reason? He got scared at the prospect of losing Yoo Joonghyuk?
"Are you hurt?" he asked.
Yoo Joonghyuk frowned at him. There was a strange look in his eyes, Kim Dokja searched far and
wide in his head to give it a name but failed.
"Yeah," he said finally.
In a panic, Kim Dokja said, "Do you have to go to the hospital?"
"What the fuck are you saying?" Yoo Joonghyuk scoffed. Kim Dokja stared at him.
"Aren't you sick?"
"Sick of you dawdling," Yoo Joonghyuk said, pushing his hips forward when Kim Dokja stayed
still. "Move already, you bastard."
This jerk!
Here Kim Dokja was, drowning in anxiety because Yoo Joonghyuk was acting like he was going to
die and this idiot—This horny bastard only had one thing on his mind.
"You are not dying, are you?" Kim Dokja asked holding Yoo Joonghyuk down on the bed, making
him squirm a bit. He just wanted to ease his doubt.
"Hyung," Yoo Joonghyuk gasped. "Don't tease me tonight."
Kim Dokja saw the faint smirk on his face. God, this dramatic asshole!
Was he just worried for Mia all this time? Was that what it was? What the fuck was the mental
breakdown all about? This piece of shit!
"And why should I listen to you?"
"Didn't you say you'll give me anything I ask for?"
Yeah, yeah, use his own words against him.
"I don't feel like being nice today. You'll understand no, Hyuk-ah?"
Maybe he should drag Yoo Joonghyuk out for a medical check-up soon, just in case. Take Mia
along as well. Kim Dokja knew he was fine, physically, that is; mentally he was fucked and
everyone sort of knew it.
Seeing Yoo Joonghyuk's state the next day, Kim Dokja felt he had gone a bit too far. He shouldn't
have done that, at least not on a workday.
"You don't seem to have a fever." That was good. Why did he look sick though?
"Your eyes are a bit swollen." Should he get some ice for that? A cold spoon or something?
"I'll kill you, Kim Dokja," Yoo Joonghyuk snapped.
Okay, so he wasn't in that bad of a state.
Relieved, Kim Dokja slowly kissed both his eyelids, then the top of his head to round it off nicely,
smiling a little.
"Whatever is worrying you, you can always come to me," Kim Dokja said. "You just have to talk
to me. I'm here for you, Joonghyuk-ah."
Technically speaking, the list of things Kim Dokja could not take care of was shorter than Yoo
Joonghyuk's.
And this sunfish managed to get himself hurt, Kim Dokja noted. He had to get his medical kit. He
kept it all stocked out of habit, and since it wasn't a bad habit by any means, he didn't scrap it.
When he returned, Yoo Joonghyuk looked in a pissed-off mood again.
"Take your shirt off," Yoo Joonghyuk demanded.
"Weren't you sleepy just a few minutes ago?" Kim Dokja smirked, wondering what's got his
knickers in a twist now.
"Take it off or I'll stab you," Yoo Joonghyuk threatened him with his chopsticks.
Since that was not the way Kim Dokja wanted to go, he laughed and took his shirt off as requested
oh so politely of him.
"Turn around," Yoo Joonghyuk said and it hit him.

"Joonghyuk-ah, I'm fine," Kim Dokja told him even as Yoo Joonghyuk threw his shirt to the
ground and kicked it away.
"Turn around."
He really was fine, though. He had even done basic care to the faint wounds. He'd done worse to
himself really, and he sort of cherished these marks compared to those ugly ones. He wouldn't mind
having these again.
"Yoo Joonghyuk," Kim Dokja said resolutely. "You didn't hurt me. Stop making that expression."
"You can't even see me."
"I don't need to. I know."
Kim Dokja turned around and sighed at Yoo Joonghyuk's expression. He knew it! This sunfish,
seriously.
"See?" He took Yoo Joonghyuk's face and left a peck on his lips. "Seriously, Joonghyuk-ah, I'm
fine. Don't worry about useless things."
Kim Dokja went to look for his shirt and once he found it, put it on. Now to more important
matters, Yoo Joonghyuk had managed to burn himself and he wasn't even doing anything about it.
He could have at least asked Kim Dokja for the ointment, he thought resentfully as he took Yoo
Joonghyuk's hand in his. He was hoping he'd at least done the basic first-aid and put his hand under
running water.
Yoo Joonghyuk didn't say anything and simply stared at him for a while, before looking
elsewhere.
"What's this for?" Kim Dokja looked up when he heard Yoo Joonghyuk speak.
"My insomnia," he answered truthfully.
"This one?"
"...Migraines," Kim Dokja decided to say instead. It would do no good for a worrier like Yoo
Joonghyuk to know about that. He would only let it eat up his peace of mind.
"You have migraines?" Yoo Joonghyuk glared at him.
"It's not that severe," Kim Dokja said. He wasn't lying, technically. He still had headaches, they
were becoming more manageable now for some reason.
"You have pills for it," Yoo Joonghyuk snapped. "Why didn't you tell me? And don't you dare say
it wasn't important or you forgot to mention it somehow,"
"But I really did forget to mention it. It just didn't come up in a conversation."
"We've known each other for almost two years and it didn't come up in a conversation is your
excuse?"
"Hey, it's not that bad, really," Kim Dokja cried. "I don't need it all the time. Only when it gets
really bad. . . I haven't had to take any in a while now."
"You aren't lying, are you?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked suspiciously.
"I'm being serious, you bastard. Why would I lie about something like this?" Kim Dokja scoffed,
packing up the medical kit. "I used to need it often before, but it's better now. It's been better for
almost a year now, actually."
"Tell me next time," Yoo Joonghyuk gave in and Kim Dokja smiled at him. There was no need to
trouble Yoo Joonghyuk with unnecessary things. And truthfully, Kim Dokja didn't think he would
be able to tell Yoo Joonghyuk about it.
Kim Dokja was about to go to put the box back in his room when Yoo Joonghyuk grabbed his
hand and pulled. Kim Dokja slid off his chair and let himself be moved into Yoo Joonghyuk's lap.
He was slightly taken aback by how his own instinct was to pat Yoo Joonghyuk's head and card
his fingers through his hair. Had he been doing this all this time without even thinking?
"Kim Dokja," Yoo Joonghyuk called. "Look at me."
Kim Dokja turned his gaze down to Yoo Joonghyuk.
"Kim Dokja," Yoo Joonghyuk said, sounding hesitant.
"Yeah, what's it?" Kim Dokja nodded. What was he trying to say?
"Dokja," Yoo Joonghyuk was doing what he had done yesterday again. Kim Dokja felt his heart
tremble. It wasn't as bad as he was thinking, was it?
"Dokja-yah," Yoo Joonghyuk said hoarsely. "I'd do anything for you."
What?
All that was going on in his head came to a screeching halt and Kim Dokja had to blunder around in
the darkness in his mind, gathering about his senses.
What?!
Yoo Joonghyuk was looking at him. Kim Dokja still couldn't place a name for that look he had in
his eyes. He would say happy but sad, and that didn't make enough sense.
Kim Dokja let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding and said, "You don't have to do
anything."
"I want to," Yoo Joonghyuk said without missing a beat and held Kim Dokja's face in place.
Sometimes, Kim Dokja felt that Yoo Joonghyuk could just see right into his soul.
"But you don't have to, Yoo Joonghyuk," Kim Dokja heard his own voice crack and wanted to go
hide in a shack somewhere.
"Kim Dokja, but I would."
Ah, so that's what it was. It was as though the missing piece had been filled in and the puzzle in his
head started clicking into place.
He thought of all that Han Sooyoung had said and it made much more sense than it ever had. Even
the reason for his mild panic last night made sense now.
Kim Dokja stumbled out of Yoo Joonghyuk's hold, snatched the medical kit off the table and left
the room as quickly as possible.
"You don't have to do anything for me, Joonghyuk-ah," Kim Dokja remembered to say, just in case
Yoo Joonghyuk started worrying again. "Don't bother yourself worrying about useless things,
okay?"
In the privacy of his own room, Kim Dokja put away the medical kit in the rack in his closet where
it always sat and closed the closet door.
His hand remained on the steel handle and he saw that he wasn't shaking. He thought he would be
at the enlightenment that had just hit him. He was sure that if he ever found out that he was in love,
he would quake and tremble like a leaf.
He had always done that so far. When he realised just how attached he was to the woman who had
given birth to him and abandoned him. When he realised just how much he wanted to make his
parents, the ones who loved him proud of him. When he realised just how much he liked having
little quips with his master over an early dinner, just because Kim Dokja couldn't sleep properly if
he wasn't in bed by a certain time like a child.
It wasn't the same feeling with Yoo Joonghyuk, he was aware of that.
Was it because he was different?
Or was it because he had always just known it and refused to look at it or give it a name?
Kim Dokja knew why he had kept it aside for so long, why he had refused to look at things as they
were. He also knew that if it weren't for Han Sooyoung's incessant ramblings, he would never have
taken the initiative to think about it either.
Kim Dokja wished that 'love' would just remain something fictional, like 'magic' or 'superpowers'
or something. It sure was complicated like those things, so it really wouldn't matter if it was just an
element of fiction.
But it was not. In real life, even though he sort of resented it, love was everywhere. A bit cringey,
even he would admit, but that was the simplest way to put it. It wasn't something that anyone could
escape. Everyone felt the presence of it, be it due to an abundant amount or the damning lack of it.
Everyone felt it somehow.
Love was something difficult, in Kim Dokja's personal opinion.
Because loving someone came with consequences. At least when it came to Kim Dokja's case, it
did and they were often unpleasant.
All the instances that Kim Dokja had been refusing to acknowledge, feigning ignorance and hoping
would stay that way unravelled and he felt exhausted.
Would it have been better if he had just admitted it the second it had started happening? Honestly,
when did even start happening? He wasn't sure, he didn't think it mattered.
He really was in love with Yoo Joonghyuk.
How horrible was that?

Yoo Joonghyuk was supposed to be his escape, his reprieve. How the hell did this happen?
Kim Dokja's love was something cursed, for lack of a better word. People he loved just didn't seem
able to live a life free of misery caused by him. He had seen it time and time again and no matter
how much he tried, it never stopped.
Even worse was that he was the cause of their troubles.
The last thing he wanted to do was put that burden on Yoo Joonghyuk as well.
He just prayed Yoo Joonghyuk wouldn't love him back, at least not in the way that Kim Dokja
loved him.
Chapter 21
"Jesus, I knew something was wrong when you texted me first for a drink, but it's this bad?" Han
Sooyoung said, sitting down on the stool opposite him at the little wobbly plastic table filled with
side dishes and soju bottles waiting to be opened.
Han Sooyoung was frowning as she looked at Kim Dokja, who was staring blankly at the little
glass in his hand.
"You don't even like drinking, what are you doing?" Han Sooyoung said.
"And you hate soju anyway. Really? If you have money, you should have taken me to a nice bar or
something, gotten something expensive and fancy," she tried getting a response out of Kim Dokja
when he resolutely stared at the clear liquid in his shot glass.
"Are you drunk already?" Han Sooyoung said, now starting to get annoyed.
"I didn't drink yet," Kim Dokja finally spoke up.
"Why not?" Han Sooyoung said, slightly relieved that he was at least responding now, even if he
did sound weird.
"I don't really want to," Kim Dokja admitted.
Han Sooyoung let out a weary sigh. "Then why did you order so many bottles? Do you want me to
return them? Or are you trying to get me drunk? You know I have no money you can steal, right?"
She pulled the stool closer to the table with another sigh.
"What's wrong, I'll be your therapist today," she said, taking the bottle Kim Dokja had opened
some time ago while waiting for Han Sooyoung and pouring herself a glass of soju.
"Let's get shitfaced if that's what you want. If we end up in an alleyway somewhere, it's your fault.
And if we find ourselves in some deserted place for days without food or water, you're my
emergency supplies, got it?"
Kim Dokja cracked a smile at that and it calmed Han Sooyoung who was worried about his strange
behaviour.
"What happened?" she asked after throwing back her first glass and shuddering with a wince.
"You were right," Kim Dokja said, taking his own drink and grimacing as his throat burned.
Distilled alcohol wasn't his favourite for a reason. It wasn't all that tasty either. He preferred wine
more, not that he would ever say it out loud within ten miles of Dionysus' presence.
"Tell me something I don't know," Han Sooyoung said, filling both their glasses and slamming the
bottle down in the middle.
"I think we'll have to return a few of these bottles," Kim Dokja muttered. "Or you take them home."
"You take them home," Han Sooyoung frowned.
"There's a five-year-old at my place," Kim Dokja reminded her. "I'll pay for them, so just take it.
Make a secret stash or something."
"Kim Dokja," Han Sooyoung said, her glass a few inches away from her mouth. "What's wrong
with you, seriously?"
"I fucked up and I'm not sure what to do," Kim Dokja confessed finally. "I couldn't really stay in
my house so I came out here. I thought I needed someone to keep me company in case I do
something stupid so I called you."
Han Sooyoung watched him carefully for a few seconds, before putting her glass down instead of
drinking the alcohol in it.
"Tell me before I start getting drunk," she said. "This noona will help you today."
"You're two years younger than me," Kim Dokja reminded her.
"Clearly I'm older than you in mental age," Han Sooyoung said nonchalantly. "Now, what's your
problem? How did you fuck up?"
Kim Dokja took a while to talk again.
"My roommate," he started slowly. "I...I know now. You were right."
Han Sooyoung stared at him for an awfully long time, and then she snatched her glass off the table
and dumped the liquid into her mouth.
"Of course, I was," she said, a smirk playing at her lips. "I can't believe it took you so long to figure
it out. So, did you confess?"
"Are you going to confess?" she asked, slightly incredulous.
Kim Dokja shook his head again.
"Alright," Han Sooyoung sighed. "You didn't tell this guy. You aren't planning on telling this guy.
So what exactly is the problem?"
"The problem is that I made a mistake," said Kim Dokja.
"How's it a mistake?" Han Sooyoung scoffed, motioning at Kim Dokja to take his own shot. "No, I
get it that you didn't want feelings involved and all. But it's happened. Now you either confess or
stop before it gets out of hand, right?"
"Right," Kim Dokja nodded. "I should stop, right?"
"Yeah," Han Sooyoung nodded. "Just go up to the dude and say you want this done with. I'll even
give you a place to stay for a while if things get too awkward."
"You're being weirdly nice," Kim Dokja observed. "Why?"
"Cause you look like shit," Han Sooyoung said honestly. "I literally can't help but get worried. I'll
tease you, I'm not giving up on that, just not today. Later, you'll face hell, Kim Dokja."
"Stop sulking, man," Han Sooyoung said, kicking his shin from under the table. "Do you want me
to tell you something?"
"Not really," Kim Dokja said.

Han Sooyoung opened her mouth anyway. "You should just confess. What's the worst that could
happen?"
Kim Dokja frowned, and drank his alcohol, poured himself another and drank that too.
"Oh, wow," Han Sooyoung breathed, surprised at Kim Dokja's behaviour. "It wasn't that bad of
advice, you jerk. Really, just tell the guy, want to try going out? I have a feeling he'll say okay to
it."
"That's not the issue here," Kim Dokja hissed at her. "I did something I shouldn't have. I fucked up.
I don't want to date him."
"Are you kidding me?" Han Sooyoung deadpanned. "You said you're literally in love with the guy
and now you don't want to date him? What the fuck?"
She waited for a reply and when it didn't come, she said tentatively, "Are you thinking something
like you don't want to ruin your friendship or something? Or how things will go to shit if you break
up in the end and stuff like that?"
Kim Dokja looked very alarmed at that. He hadn't thought of that till now. Now he had a new fear
to deal with.
Han Sooyoung groaned and ran a hand through her hair.
"Hey, Kim Dokja, seriously, what's the problem? I really don't get it," she said. "Are you even
going to explain?"
"I shouldn't have done that," he muttered.
"Yeah, we already established that," Han Sooyoung droned. "Next. What's it?"
"I've gone and ruined it."
"Yes, you have. Next."
"What if he feels the same?"
"That's good news, then."
"It's not," Kim Dokja said seriously, shaking his head.
Han Sooyoung rolled her eyes and waved a hand at Kim Dokja, asking him to fill their glasses
again. Once he had done so, and they had emptied their glasses, she said, "Why not?"
"He should not. It won't end well."
"You can't tell the future, man," Han Sooyoung said. "You might be able to predict the question
paper and all, but you really can't tell when it comes to relationships. And even if you guys do end
in a breakup, you've just got a new experience."
"That's not it," Kim Dokja said. "I'd be glad if we broke up, really."
Han Sooyoung's mouth fell open, baffled.
"What the fuck're you talking about?" she blurted out.

"Feeling...that way for me," Kim Dokja said slowly, his voice quiet and wavering. "It's just
wrong."
"What?"
"No one should do that. I can't give what they want anyway."
Han Sooyoung took a deep breath, closed her eyes and ran her hands over her face. She gave her
cheeks two strong pats and sat straighter in her seat.
"You like this guy, no?" she said, as though she was struggling to remain patient and not snap at
Kim Dokja.
Kim Dokja nodded.
"Like, really, really, like this guy, right?"
Kim Dokja nodded again.
"You are totally, completely in love with this guy, yes?"
"Yes," Kim Dokja breathed, slightly exasperated.
"What I don't understand is why you won't jump at the opportunity if this guy somehow feels even
a little bit like that towards you?" Han Sooyoung said testily. "You're an opportunist, if I've ever
seen one. What's the matter now?"
"I can't do that to him. I don't deserve it," Kim Dokja sighed and filled their glasses as Han
Sooyoung's mouth fell open, in shock and indignation.
"What the actual fuck?"
"I just don't," Kim Dokja muttered. "I can't. . .I'll only bring trouble. I've always done that. Love
—," he winced as though it was a very foul word he was spitting out.
"Feeling like that for me," he changed his wording making Han Sooyoung glare at him. "It is not
good. It really isn't. I know."
"What are you even saying, Kim Dokja?" Han Sooyoung cried, she really wasn't able to understand
just what sort of nonsense this idiot was spewing.
Kim Dokja shook his head and drank.
"Just make sure I don't kill myself or something," he told her. "I just need some time to settle this."
Han Sooyoung would have argued more if it were some other day. Today she settled with just a
"Kim Dokja, you're a fucking idiot."
Kim Dokja smiled bitterly at her and dropped his head again.
"You're back earlier than you said you'd be," Yoo Joonghyuk said, getting up from the sofa when
Kim Dokja entered the dark house.
"Why're the lights off?" he muttered.
"Mia's sleeping. She'll wake up if the lights're on," Yoo Joonghyuk said, watching Kim Dokja kick
his shoes off.
"Are you drunk?" he asked.
"Not really," Kim Dokja shook his head. "I'm fine."
"Really?"
"I can walk straight, tell time, I'm even talking properly," Kim Dokja sighed. "Don't worry."
Yoo Joonghyuk scoffed lightly.
"How did this meeting with your department mates go?"
Kim Dokja hummed softly, trudging towards his room, aware of Yoo Joonghyuk following him.
He switched on the light, letting Yoo Joonghyuk close the door, as he looked in his closet for
clothes.
"Were you walking around looking like that all this time?" Yoo Joonghyuk said, sounding slightly
pissed.
"How do you think I got home?" Kim Dokja pulled out a set of pyjamas from the rack. "And what's
wrong with how I look? I thought I dressed just fine."
"You're a fool, Kim Dokja," Yoo Joonghyuk said, grabbing his waist and spinning him around to
face him.
"What's it?" Kim Dokja said wearily. Yoo Joonghyuk closed the closet door and pushed Kim Dokja
against it, kissing him full on the mouth, swallowing any startled noises that Kim Dokja had made.
"I'm not clean," Kim Dokja gasped out the second he got the chance.
"It hasn't mattered before," Yoo Joonghyuk said, his teeth scraping the skin near his collarbones,
hands unbuttoning the shirt Kim Dokja was wearing.
"Let's go to your room, then," Kim Dokja squeezed his eyes shut.
"Let's do it here," Yoo Joonghyuk said instead, his hands now on Kim Dokja's jeans. Kim Dokja let
him.
"We'll have to be quiet," he muttered, drawing a shuddering breath. Yoo Joonghyuk's lips were on
his again.
He felt like he was committing some sort of crime.
Now that he knew what he felt, it seemed wrong. He was expecting more. When he wrapped his
arms around Yoo Joonghyuk and ran his hands over his body, he was looking for more in that
addictive kiss he was getting lost in.
He was craving after something that wasn't his to have, something he didn't deserve to have.
Kim Dokja had literally committed tax fraud and other activities that might be seen as a crime in
the eyes of the law. But he would have at least tried to plead his innocence if he ever got caught for
that.
If the police were to come busting in right now and said he was committing a crime for kissing
Yoo Joonghyuk, he would agree wholeheartedly and go with them straight to prison.
"You taste like alcohol," Yoo Joonghyuk said when they broke apart for a second for air.
"Is it bad?" Kim Dokja didn't know if he wanted Yoo Joonghyuk to say yes and stop, or go ahead
with it.
"Not at all," Yoo Joonghyuk said and Kim Dokja realised that he was hoping it would be the first
option, actually.
"You always taste good."
Kim Dokja's breath caught in his lungs and his heartbeat stuttered.
"You taste divine," he told Yoo Joonghyuk. When he opened his eyes just a peek, he saw that Yoo
Joonghyuk's face had turned red, flustered at the compliments. He heard them all the time, yet he
reacted that way for some reason. Kim Dokja thought he'd become immune to it after a while, but
it never happened.
"You're beautiful, Joonghyuk-ah," the words were out of his mouth before Kim Dokja even knew
it.
"Do you ever shut up?" Yoo Joonghyuk hissed, and bit down hard on Kim Dokja's lip.
Why that made him smile, Kim Dokja had no idea.
Maybe he felt it was compensating with his pain. He did have that thought process before.
Suppose, it's not gone completely. Would it ever go away completely, he wasn't sure.
He'd figured it out, now he saw things much more clearly. He wished he didn't though.
When Yoo Joonghyuk hugged him one evening, right in front of Mia, Kim Dokja panicked.
Yoo Joonghyuk, as expected, was furious. So Kim Dokja had to give a sound reasoning for his
actions, he had many excuses ready in his hand and he used the one he knew would calm Yoo
Joonghyuk down the fastest.
It was as expected, his rage died down and was replaced by weariness.
"Mia is a smart girl. She'll not hate us for this," Yoo Joonghyuk said.
"I know she won't," Kim Dokja gave a tiny smile.
"She won't mind," Yoo Joonghyuk muttered, his head drooping a bit and Kim Dokja almost
gasped.
. . .oh
Oh, no. . .It can't be. It should not be that.
"But we. . .Kim Dokja, I—" Yoo Joonghyuk was saying, but he cut him off before he could finish
the statement.
"It's fine, Yoo Joonghyuk. Besides," Kim Dokja said quickly. "It's not like we are dating or
anything, right?"
That emotion he wasn't able to name before, he knew what it was now. He'd given it a name in his
own heart and now it was easy to see.
He saw the hurt that passed Yoo Joonghyuk's eyes as he stepped back a bit from Kim Dokja. Kim
Dokja wished to throw himself out of a window. It had just been a test, but now that the result was
obvious he wished he hadn't tried testing it at all.
"Did you make up?" Yoo Mia asked when they were out in the kitchen again.
"Yeah," Kim Dokja said, hoping that he sounded composed, even if he wasn't. "Your oppa was
mad that I ruined his box. I didn't know he liked pink so much."
"I like pink," Mia yawned. "I want to sleep."
"Finish your homework," Yoo Joonghyuk told her.
"I don't want to read the story," Mia complained. "It's boring."
"It's good practice," Kim Dokja said, walking over and reading the story she was reading over her
head.
"It's boring. I hate homework," Mia said stubbornly.
Kim Dokja was thankful for Mia. It made things easier, talking about nonsensical things. When he
asked her to read aloud to practice learning better, Mia snapped at him and asked him to do it
himself if he wanted.
Kim Dokja chuckled lightly, the feeling in his chest lightening.
"Were you like this when you were at school too?" Kim Dokja turned to Yoo Joonghyuk. "What
were your grades like? Top scores always or class delinquent?"
It was out of instinct, it was just habit. He shouldn't have done that. He wished he hadn't.
"Don't go around saying nonsense, Dokja" Yoo Joonghyuk sighed.
And Kim Dokja recognised the look on his face. It made him want to cry.
It was the same expression he had when he had jokingly asked Kim Dokja to marry him. . .So they
hadn't been jokes, huh?
He remembered seeing the same expression when they were making dinner on lazy evenings, or
just sitting on the sofa on weekends doing nothing in particular. He had just thought that Yoo
Joonghyuk was feeling relaxed or something.
The same expression that had been captured in a photograph and framed for everyone to see in the
living room. He had been the one to suggest it too.
Kim Dokja muttered some bullshit excuse about going to the bathroom and rushed straight to his
room, locked the door behind him and sank to the floor.
He was shaking and his vision was blurring.
He had fucked up so badly. He had ruined it all.
He'd. . .He wasn't sure what he had done, but he had somehow manipulated Yoo Joonghyuk into
liking him that way. There was a simpler way to put it, but he didn't dare do that. That would
simply crush him.
He shouldn't have tried to understand, he shouldn't have even done this. Any of this. From the start,
he should not have done any of that.
Fuck! Why did he only realise mistakes after it was too late?
He had conned Yoo Joonghyuk into feeling that way for him by acting all nice and fine and doing
nice things for him. He had pretended to be something he had not and caught Yoo Joonghyuk's
attention in a way he did not want.
Oh, god. Oh, god!
All those moments when he had joked with Yoo Joonghyuk and all those times Yoo Joonghyuk
had looked at him with a dark, gloomy look passed by in his mind. He was leading him on without
even knowing it.
He was hurting him all this time.
If Kim Dokja always hurt the ones he loved, he hurt the ones who loved him more. He knew that.
Kim Dokja was cursed in that matter. Love was not for Kim Dokja, but it came to him anyway and
ended up ruining people around him instead, even when he'd much rather take all the hurt himself.
He had always known that and yet he made such a stupid mistake.
Kim Dokja needed to do something about this.
He could go straight to Yoo Joonghyuk and discuss this.
But Kim Dokja was a coward, so he ran away.
He was a cowardly, greedy piece of shit who couldn't even stop hurting the person he loved
because he wanted more than he already had, because he wanted more than he should get. At this
point, he should just come clean and tell Yoo Joonghyuk, but he couldn't think of what he would
do without him, so he let it stay that way and ran.
Kim Dokja buried himself in work, it was the only thing he could think of to get his mind off
things.
"You madman!" Dionysus was laughing, but Kim Dokja could hear the strain of anxiety in his
voice.
"Vedas is on guard against all of Olympus because of you," Dionysus was saying. "And why are
you provoking Asgard? Olympus may be strong, but it will still sustain damages if those two go
for a fight."
Kim Dokja didn't respond.
"You are taking unnecessary risks, Dokja," Dionysus said, no longer laughing. "I'm sure your
parents have told you this, but they are worried. All of Underworld is worried."
"I'll tell you the same I've told them," Kim Dokja said dryly. "There is no need to worry. I am not
taking unnecessary risks, I've never done that. I'm not an idiot."
"You are acting strange, brother," Dionysus said. "You have to admit that. . .Was it something that
happened in your personal life? You know, that's one of the places Olympians always lose."
"I am not an Olympian," Kim Dokja said, feeling his voice rising and quickly suppressing it.
Dionysus was quiet for a while.
"It seems that something did happen," he said finally. "Prince of the Underworld, don't let your
emotions control your actions. You—"
"I know!" Kim Dokja barked. "I know that. I don't need you to tell me what to do—"
"No, you don't understand," Dionysus snapped back, shutting Kim Dokja up immediately.
Dionysus wasn't one to lose his temper, let alone talk like that.
"You might be thinking that you'll be fine with break dancing on thin ice right now, but if anything
happens to UW, you will be the one responsible."
"Why does it matter to you?" Kim Dokja muttered, feeling offended.
"It matters to me because some of the only people I care about belong to UW," Dionysus said.
Kim Dokja's mouth fell open.
". . .And it's not you," Dionysus said, but the message had reached Kim Dokja just fine. "You fall a
bit lower on the list."
"I am on the list?" Kim Dokja said, mustering a little laugh.
"Way down," Dionysus said, the tension leaving his voice as well.
"Is my mother on the list perchance?" Kim Dokja asked, leaning back in his chair, and looking
around his office at Seoul's Elysium branch.
"Yeah, she takes top spot," Dionysus said and Kim Dokja couldn't help but smile.
"How many people are there on the list?" Kim Dokja said.
"Two," Dionysus admitted.
"What about your wife?"

"She can take care of yourself?"
"You think we can't take care of ourselves?" Kim Dokja said, feeling slightly exasperated.
"I don't really care, brother," Dionysus drawled.
"And what about my father?"
"What about him?"
"Wow! Both my mother and I will be heartbroken should anything happen to my father."
"The Father of the Rich Night hates me with a passion—"
"That's because you go around doing weird shit."
"You still like me, I haven't stopped going around doing weird shit. It's on your father. He's not
getting on my list."
Kim Dokja never thought he would be comforted by Dionysus of all people.
"I'll handle it," he said finally. "I have a plan. Don't worry. I swear, I'll make this right."
"What is your plan though?" Dionysus asked.
"Don't you like fun?" Kim Dokja sighed. "Just sit back and watch, you'll have your fun."
"I'll take your word for it then, brother," Dionysus said airily and Kim Dokja thought he could see
his grin in his mind.
Things were meant to collapse anyway, something built on lies would never last. He had been
hoping they would stay like that for a bit longer. He was aware that it was selfish of him.
He liked coming back home to Yoo Joonghyuk waiting, even if he was a bit grumpy. He had been
hoping that it wouldn't change and then life would slowly drag them away instead of something
sudden and painful.
But he was being selfish. Selfish people get punished, it's one of the basic life lessons they teach
kids through stories. It was something he had always known, yet he went ahead and did this.
"Did I do something?"
Kim Dokja focused on his food, acting as though he didn't see where this was going at all.
"What are you talking about?"
"You're being weird. Mia is starting to worry. What are you doing?" Yoo Joonghyuk said.
"What would I be doing?" Kim Dokja fixed his attention on his plate. Inhale, exhale.
"I did something, didn't I?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked and Kim Dokja frowned, gritting his teeth.
"Did you find someone?" Yoo Joonghyuk bristled.
"What?"
"Lover. Girlfriend? Boyfriend? Is that what this is?"
"What? No!" Kim Dokja cried, turning around frantically. The second it was out of his mouth, he
regretted it. This was a good opportunity he had lost just because he didn't want Yoo Joonghyuk to
misunderstand. He could have said yes and continued on with why they should stop whatever they
were doing.
Goddamnit.
"What made you think that?"
"What do think?" Yoo Joonghyuk snapped. "You don't come home anymore."
"What? Where do you think I sleep then?" Kim Dokja's laugh was the most awkward one he had
ever given.
"It's not a laughing matter, you bastard. If you're cheating, just tell me instead of going around
feeling guilty."
He wasn't that bad! He would never do that, why would he break someone's trust like that?. . .Ah,
but that's what he had done to Yoo Joonghyuk anyway, right?
"I am not in a relationship," Kim Dokja put his chopsticks down. "I am literally just busy."
He had made himself busy. He would continue to be busy for months.
"Busy running away from me?"
Yoo Joonghyuk could be unnaturally sharp sometimes.
"I'm not running away!"
"Don't lie."
"I'm not lying," Kim Dokja jumped to his feet. A bad move, he was bound to lose an argument the
second he got too emotionally invested in it.
"Joonghyuk-ah," Kim Dokja said calming himself down and bringing the situation back into
control. "I'm not lying. It's just been busy, with everything. Everything's fine, trust me, okay?"
"No. I don't trust you, Kim Dokja."
Kim Dokja felt hurt for a second before he realised he wasn't allowed to feel that way.
Good, he thought. Yoo Joonghyuk shouldn't trust him. That would make it easier for both of them.
He smiled.
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry," Kim Dokja laughed and rolled his shoulders back, holding his hands up.
"But everything's really fine. I mean, sure, everything's busy, but that's just it."
"Sit," Yoo Joonghyuk ordered. "We need to talk. . .Sit down, Kim Dokja."
To hide the panic on his face, Kim Dokja put on his most elaborate acting skills on display and
pretended like this was all just one very annoying, exasperating situation that he would be glad to
be done with.
When he sat down on the chair and crossed his feet, he tried imaging that he was looking at anyone
but Yoo Joonghyuk.
"Alright. What do you want to ask?"
"Did I do something?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked softly and Kim Dokja always knew he couldn't really
see Yoo Joonghyuk as anyone else, no matter how hard he tried.
"I already told you, no," Kim Dokja said. If he managed to reassure Yoo Joonghyuk here, he would
buy himself some more time to sort everything out.
"Joonghyuk-ah, is the stress getting to you? Maybe take a break again. It is your final year, your
fans will understand."
God, he was such a piece of shit. He was gaslighting Yoo Joonghyuk. He had been doing it for so
long now, even though he wasn't aware of it. He was ruining Yoo Joonghyuk as he had always
done.
"Don't change the subject."
"I'm not?" Kim Dokja said, tilting his head to the side, attempting to look baffled. "What—"
"Kim Dokja, I'm warning you," Yoo Joonghyuk hissed out. "You—I want to talk about us."
"Us? What about us?"
". . .What are we?"
Right, he couldn't run away forever and it was always going to catch up to him. Today was the day
then.
"We—What?" Kim Dokja didn't know why he was still carrying on with the act. Maybe he was
hoping Yoo Joonghyuk would snap at him and tell him that it was fine if they just stayed friends.
"We're. . .Well, we are friends, of course."
But did he deserve that though? He would just be hurting Yoo Joonghyuk if he let that happen.
Wouldn't that be too selfish of him?
"Friends don't sleep with each other, Kim Dokja. You have to come clear, right now."
"Yoo Joonghyuk, I'm not following," Kim Dokja lied.
"Stop lying."
"I'm not—"
"Don't Lie to me! Do not look me in the eye and tell me you don't get it. I'm trying. I'm trying here,
don't you dare. . ."
Kim Dokja faltered.

This moment was perfect, he could have closed this scene with the best ending he could possibly
come up with. The only issue was that it would have left Yoo Joonghyuk shattered, and so he
fucking faltered.
"You know, don't you?" Yoo Joonghyuk said quietly.
Ah, he got caught.
He was done for.
"You know how I feel about you."
Please, don't look at him that way. He could just start sobbing right now and Kim Dokja wasn't one
for crying at all. Why did he always feel like crying around Yoo Joonghyuk? Was something
wrong with his head or something? Yeah, probably.
"You've always known, haven't you?"
How could he salvage this situation? Come on, he was known as the miracle worker, he had
revived fucking Elysium which had been going under for decades. How could he save this situation
even just a little bit?
Just so that it would make it easier for both of them. They might get hurt a bit, but they would
recover. Think. . .
He could try explaining things to Yoo Joonghyuk. If he spoke calmly, and nicely as he always did,
he could get Yoo Joonghyuk to listen and he would explain.
Feelings don't just develop out of the blue, and that was true for any kind of feeling, positive and
negative. There is always something that sparks that. The reason why Yoo Joonghyuk felt that way
for him, Kim Dokja was aware of it.
He had heard a lot about Yoo Joonghyuk's life from the man himself and he could see why Yoo
Joonghyuk would have been deluded into feeling that way.
This wasn't meant to happen. . .Yes, he knew that. Crying over spilt milk wasn't going to fix
anything. He wasn't supposed to let this happen, but he had and now here they were.
Yoo Joonghyuk was only supposed to be his little safe corner where he could run to when he
needed, a feeling stemmed from the nostalgia of a child who had no one to depend on except a
stranger who only seemed to care for him, a shining beacon of hope, a reason to choose to live
another day.
Yoo Joonghyuk was supposed to be like those superheroes, and he was supposed to be one of the
civilians he rescued, screentime not exceeding more than a few seconds.
He wasn't supposed to fall in love, he wasn't supposed to trick Yoo Joonghyuk into feeling that
way for him either.
But it had happened.
Hopefully, it wasn't too late to fix it somehow now.
Kim Dokja took a deep breath, forcing his brain to calm down.
"Yoo Joonghyuk," Kim Dokja said slowly. "Joonghyuk-ah, relax and listen to me, okay? I think
you're mistaken somehow."
"I'm not!" Yoo Joonghyuk yelled.
"Listen to me," Kim Dokja carried on. "I know it's hard. I know that it's tough, raising Mia by
yourself—"
"This is not about Mia! Stop bringing my sister into this—Mia is not an excuse you can use. Stop
bringing her up every time you want to escape!"
"I am not making excuses. I'm trying to explain things to you," Kim Dokja really could lie easily,
but the words kept catching in his throat.
"You could have just told me," Yoo Joonghyuk said when Kim Dokja opened his mouth to speak
again. "You could have told me and I wouldn't have—I would have. . .I would have tried to stop."
"You better come clean about this. I'm trying. I'm trying really hard. And you said you'd help. . .So
help me here, Kim Dokja."
Kim Dokja heard the tremble in Yoo Joonghyuk's voice, he saw how his glare had softened out of
misery and Kim Dokja was reminded of the woman who he saw sitting behind the prison wall.
Had he made her feel horrible like this as well? Is that why she was only happy to get rid of him?
And would Yoo Joonghyuk want him gone one day too?
Possibly. People don't really want Kim Dokja around. He himself wouldn't want him around.
There wasn't a lot he could give, and one day when he runs out of things to prove his worth, he
would be cast aside and he wouldn't even be mad. There really was no use in keeping something
useless around.
Kim Dokja closed his eyes so that he would stop seeing Yoo Joonghyuk.
"Yoo Joonghyuk, you're not listening to me."
"I'm listening! I'm always listening," Yoo Joonghyuk shouted. "Why don't you listen to me this
once? I like you. Kim Dokja, I'm in love with you."
"No, you're not," Kim Dokja said.
Yoo Joonghyuk was not. At least, it was not real. He had just sort of tricked him into feeling that
way. He would realise it soon enough. Of course, Kim Dokja could let him figure it out for
himself, but that would take too long and it would hurt both of them in the process. He could let
Yoo Joonghyuk figure out that what he was mistaking for 'love' was just a new feeling of security.
Kim Dokja would know.
He knew how easy it was to get attached to people you could depend on. He knew that and went
ahead, acting the way he had, like an idiot without thinking of the consequences at all.
He should explain things to him so that it ends here.
"You don't know that," Yoo Joonghyuk's voice cracked.
"You're just confusing things, Joonghyuk-ah," Kim Dokja said softly.
Kim Dokja saw Yoo Joonghyuk's hand flying towards him and he wouldn't have minded getting
punched. He sort of deserved a punch. But Yoo Joonghyuk only grabbed his collar and pulled him
to his feet.
"Joonghyuk-ah, life's been stressful for you," Kim Dokja forced himself to continue speaking. "I
think you're mistaking some stability in life for love."
"You don't know anything about me, Kim Dokja," Yoo Joonghyuk's fingers graced his neck and he
pulled his face closer. The glare on Yoo Joonghyuk's face was fierce. From this close, Kim Dokja
could see himself reflected in those deep, dark irises that were shaking.
"I'm in love with you. I have been in love with you for so long. Even before Mia came into our
lives. Do you understand?"
Kim Dokja found it in himself to smile.
"Yoo Joonghyuk, you—"
Yoo Joonghyuk's lips crashed onto his and Kim Dokja closed his eyes immediately.
Yoo Joonghyuk's lips moved in a frenzy, it was a very sloppy kiss and Kim Dokja could feel just
how distraught Yoo Joonghyuk was.
He had done this. He had fucked up.
Of course, it was going to hurt him. But better now than later.
Later when Kim Dokja runs out of things to give, he would feel saddened, wondering where the
feeling of the past had gone and feeling hurt and abandoned. Kim Dokja didn't want that for Yoo
Joonghyuk.
"Yoo Joonghyuk—" Kim Dokja tried getting himself out of Yoo Joonghyuk's grasp. Yoo
Joonghyuk only clung on tighter. "Joonghyuk-ah."
"Please. Dokja, please. . .I love you. It's fine if you don't feel the same, but please. . ." Yoo
Joonghyuk whispered. "You don't have to like me back. You don't have to do anything but stay.
Please, don't leave me."
Kim Dokja wasn't made for love, he didn't know what it was with people adoring damaged things
anyway. It just made sense to like perfect, nice things, he was not that.
But the people who had picked him up were compassionate.
He was thankful for that, he truly was.
But he also knew that they couldn't keep junk they had picked up from somewhere for a whole
lifetime. There would come a time when he was finally put aside.
And he didn't want that. Kim Dokja desperately did not want to be left alone and abandoned again.
So he tried hard. He tried with everything he had, even if it wasn't much, he tried with every single
bit of his mind, body and soul. When people interacted, they expected things.
And when people love, they expect a bit more, so he tried hard to give them all that.
When people love, they give a bit more, and that bit more was way more than he deserved. He had
to balance it out before the universe found out he was pulling some shit and decided to punish him
for that.
With Yoo Joonghyuk, none of that had seemed like a chore. . .Until now, that is.
Loving Yoo Joonghyuk had never seemed like a burden, until now.
Kim Dokja found that he would have loved Yoo Joonghyuk silently, without ever telling him if he
was allowed to do that.
"I'm fine with it. You just have to know that I love you," Yoo Joonghyuk's kisses were just as
wonderful as always.
He said he was fine with it.
He shouldn't be though. He really shouldn't. He could do so, so much better than just Kim Dokja.
"Yoo Joonghyuk, are you even hearing yourself?" Kim Dokja finally managed to get away from
Yoo Joonghyuk.
"I am," Yoo Joonghyuk said simply. "Are you?"
When Yoo Joonghyuk reached out, Kim Dokja almost jumped backwards.
"This is going nowhere," he said, hearing himself turning more desperate. "We should. . .take a
break, think about things properly."
"Kim Dokja, I told you, I've thought about this. Properly. Why won't you trust me on this?"
"This is not about trust," Kim Dokja needed to leave. He really needed to leave. "This. .
.Joonghyuk, this is—It won't work. Whatever you are saying, it won't work."
"You don't know that. You've never tried!"
"You are making a mistake."
He had made a mistake, he wouldn't let Yoo Joonghyuk do the same. Maybe he was already a bit
too far gone for that, but still, Kim Dokja had to try.
"Just tell me you don't feel the same," Yoo Joonghyuk sounded like he was begging. "I told you,
it'll be fine. Just tell me what you think of me and I'll tell you what I think of you and we can work
it from there."
That's not the issue. It's not about what they felt, that's not all that matters. Yoo Joonghyuk didn't
know that. He didn't need to know that, he didn't need to go through that.
Sure bad times were just good experiences, but he didn't have to experience bad things.
"Joonghyuk-ah, we just won't—We won't work," Kim Dokja said pointedly looking away from
Yoo Joonghyuk. He really would break down if he saw Yoo Joonghyuk right now.
"You don't know th—"
"I know that!" Kim Dokja lost the composure he was trying to keep. He had probably lost it a
while ago and was just running on an empty tank. "I know that. You are the one who doesn't know.
You don't understand."
"Then explain, I'll listen," Yoo Joonghyuk croaked.
An explanation.
Words failed him. Kim Dokja who could, and had wheedled his way out of many troublesome
situations failed when it came to Yoo Joonghyuk.
Explain. . .How to explain?
How was he supposed to explain just how undeserving he was of Yoo Joonghyuk's love?
How was he supposed to explain to Yoo Joonghyuk that he could do better than Kim Dokja and
that he didn't really need whatever broken, messed-up love Kim Dokja could offer?
Why should Yoo Joonghyuk have to love someone who thought of literally killing himself every
time he ran into adversity? Why should Yoo Joonghyuk have to deal with someone who couldn't
even stay happy for long and literally needed pills so that he wouldn't just die because he was too
sad up in his head? Why should Yoo Joonghyuk struggle to win the love of someone who had
thought that running a blade through himself would make him somehow better?
"Talk to me, please," Yoo Joonghyuk breathed.
"It's just," Kim Dokja couldn't see clearly anymore. He was familiar with the way his throat had
closed up and whatever air he breathed in vanished before it reached his lungs. His nose was
starting to burn and the corners of his eyes prickled with unshed tears.
"It's just wrong," Kim Dokja said and his tears fell.
That was it.
Kim Dokja was simply not what Yoo Joonghyuk deserved.
So it was wrong.
"Wh-what's that supposed to mean? What are you trying to say?!"
"It's wrong, that's it!" Kim Dokja cried. "It is just wrong."
"Is it because we're both men?"
Kim Dokja knew his face had flinched, but he didn't know why it made Yoo Joonghyuk look
scared.
"Sorry. Kim Dokja, I didn't mean that."
"I know," Kim Dokja managed to say, even though his jaw was aching. "And you should know that
— that this is just wrong."
Kim Dokja took a deep breath. "Yoo Joonghyuk, we should—should take some time—We should
stop here."
This much was enough. This much was enough ruin. Tomorrow, he would look for a new place,
pack all his things and leave before he ruined Yoo Joonghyuk any further.
And then Yoo Joonghyuk would find someone else, and Kim Dokja would force himself to feel
happy for him because he didn't deserve to feel bitter after what he had done.
"Kim Dokja, please," Yoo Joonghyuk took a shaky step towards him. "Don't leave."
Whatever sound had left Kim Dokja's mouth sounded so ugly to his own ears.
Yoo Joonghyuk was crying. He had made Yoo Joonghyuk cry, just like how he had broken his
parents' hearts, just how he had troubled his master so much, he had hurt Yoo Joonghyuk as well.
The only person he hoped it would never happen to.
"Dokja-yah? Kim Dokja? Look at me, hyung. Please!"
God, Kim Dokja wished he were dead. He wished he had died when he was fifteen so that he
wouldn't have had to meet Yoo Joonghyuk at all, so that he wouldn't have made a silly mistake
while looking for fun, so that he wouldn't have come to this at all.
"Let's," Kim Dokja couldn't really breathe. He breathed deeply and exhaled it all out when he
uttered a word.
"We should. . ." Kim Dokja rubbed his face hurriedly and looked in Yoo Joonghyuk's direction. He
didn't dare look at him in the eye.
"We should—Let's talk later."
"Later?"
"Later," Kim Dokja was such a fucking coward.
"Later when, hyung?"
"I don't know," Kim Dokja needed some space right now. The kitchen was much too small and his
lungs didn't seem to work as they were supposed to.
"Later when!?" Yoo Joonghyuk yelled and Kim Dokja resolutely didn't turn around.
"I don't know!" Kim Dokja cried, holding back a sob. "Just—Later."
Kim Dokja ran.
Kim Dokja was out in the streets. He stayed in his room for a while, but it had become too stifling
so he left the house. In the house, Yoo Joonghyuk's presence was so imposing, it was crushing.
He tried cleaning his tear-streaked face as much as he could and continued walking. His whole
body was shaking, exhausted. Right, emotional things had always been harder to deal with when
compared to physical exhaustion.
He had a throbbing headache that made it hard to even keep his eyes open. He wanted to run into a
wall, or just split his head open and take out whatever was making his head hurt so much and get
rid of it.
The sun was shining a bit too brightly and it only made his headache worse. He thought he might
be breaking out into a fever. Kim Dokja touched his forehead slowly. He felt like he was burning
up, he couldn't be sure though.
He exhaled sharply and took a deep breath with his mouth, then he continued walking.
A while later, he found he was near Mia's school.
At first, he panicked and turned to run. It was time for Mia's school to end and Yoo Joonghyuk was
usually here to pick her up by now.
But he didn't see Yoo Joonghyuk at all. He waited, but the man never turned up.
He didn't forget, did he? He couldn't possibly have put Kim Dokja over Mia!
Kim Dokja found Mia, who was waiting for her brother, and with the brightest smile he could
muster, he waved at her.
Mia came running to him, crying, "Dokja Oppa!"
"Oh, look at how cute our little Mia is," Kim Dokja said cheerfully picking Mia up and lifting her
into the air. Mia giggled and her teacher who was standing a few feet behind gave Kim Dokja a
little bow that Kim Dokja returned.
"Where's Oppa?" Mia asked as Kim Dokja started walking slowly.
"He's got a little fever," Kim Dokja told her. "I asked him to go to sleep after taking his medicine. I
think he's working too hard. Your oppa works too hard, no?"
Mia nodded. "He does, he does. Oppa should take rest properly."
"And you tell him that when you get home, okay?" Kim Dokja smiled.
"Okay!"
Kim Dokja decided to do Yoo Joonghyuk one last favour. A last gift, an apology for everything he
had done wrong to him.
He took Mia around, told her it was a secret from her brother, bought her ice cream and whatever
treats she wanted and they just spent some time walking.
Once Mia was in a good enough mood, Kim Dokja broke the news about how her brother was
going to leave for military service.
Mia started crying immediately. It was a good thing that she was screaming loudly about how she
didn't want her oppa to go. People saw the scene as heartwarming instead of alarming, where a
creepy guy was trying to kidnap a little girl.
Kim Dokja told he was leaving soon as well. So soon that today would be their last day together.
He didn't think Yoo Joonghyuk would be able to explain his absence in any other way, that guy
couldn't lie to save his life. This was just so that Mia wouldn't get too hurt. And Kim Dokja didn't
want to leave without a goodbye.
He told Mia all about how they would have to go for less than two years, actually, and how she
would have to stay with her grandma for that.
"Your oppa won't be going immediately though," he assured her. "He'll be there to watch you
graduate and finally go to primary school!"
"What about you, Oppa?" Mia asked, finally having dried her tears. She looked very exhausted and
was resting her head on Kim Dokja's shoulder as he carried her home.
"Some things happened and I found out that I'll be going soon," he said. "Your oppa's sad too."
"I don't want you to go," Mia muttered. Kim Dokja stroked her hair, hoping she wouldn't start
crying again. His shirt was already damp with her tears.
"I know, Mia-yah," Kim Dokja said softly. "But it'll be alright. It will all be alright. Mia is a strong
girl, no?"
"Mhmm."
"And you'll let your oppa go with a nice smile too, no?"
"I'll try," Mia mumbled. "When you come back I want a lot of gifts."
"Okay."
"Promise?"
"Promise," Kim Dokja smiled. "I'll get you a lot of nice things when we meet again."
When Kim Dokja bid Yoo Mia goodbye at the door, she asked him if she wasn't coming in a giving
a last goodbye to her brother as well.
"I already did," Kim Dokja told her. "I won't see you for a long time, Mia-yah. I'm sorry about that.
But you'll be alright, no? You'll live happily with your oppa, right?"
Mia nodded, taking her school bag from Kim Dokja's hand.
"Close the door and ask your brother to lock it. Don't leave it open."
"Mmhmm."
"Don't be too sad, Mia-yah. It's all fine, I promise."
"I know," Mia whispered, sullen. "I don't want you to go, but Mia is a strong girl so I'll be fine."
"I know, our Mia is the best," Kim Dokja grinned weakly. "Be happy, okay? Make your Oppa
happy too, okay?"
"Ah, okay," Mia muttered.
"Bye-bye!"
"Bye-bye, Oppa."
Kim Dokja walked away so that Mia would close the door instead of staring after him. He felt his
knees give way when he heard the door click shut.
And he was back on the streets again.
Sometimes, after the sun had set and the night had grown cold, Kim Dokja was sure his body
wouldn't last any longer outside. He called the only person he could call for his help at the moment
and trusted enough with himself like this.
"Sooyoung, can I come over?"
"What the fuck? Today? Now?" Han Sooyoung said. "Why? What's this now? D'you want to go
for a drink or something?"
"Han Sooyoung, please."
Han Sooyoung was silent for a few seconds and then said, "Alright. Come over. I'm texting you
the address, so don't you dare get lost."
Han Sooyoung stayed at the campus-provided accommodation and when Kim Dokja approached
her block, he saw her already waiting for him outside, a scowl on her face.
She opened her mouth to scold him when she finally spotted him.
"Can I stay with you for tonight?" Kim Dokja asked before he lost consciousness and consequently
lost his chance to explain.
"What?"
"Only for now. I really don't have a place to go to."
Han Sooyoung frowned. She opened her mouth, searching his face for answers. Finally, with a
sigh, she said, "Come in. You look like shit."
"I feel like shit too," Kim Dokja laughed weakly.
The second he entered Han Sooyoung's little dorm room, and the door closed behind them, he
collapsed.
Vaguely he heard Han Sooyoung screaming.
"I'm fine," Kim Dokja said through the struggle. "I just need some sleep. Leave me here."
When he woke up, he found himself on a foreign bed, a damp cloth on his forehead and his body
aching all over.
"You asshole!" he heard Han Sooyoung's voice from his right and he turned to look at her.
She looked so pale for some reason.
"Did I faint?"
"Dumbass," was her response.
"How long?"
"Not even an hour, asshole."
That made sense. Kim Dokja was sort of used to trudging on with illness until someone caught him
and dragged him off to get treated. And he had only been exhausted anyway, it wasn't anything
serious.
He sat up slowly and Han Sooyoung shuffled to her feet from the floor she was sitting on as well.
"You motherfucker," she was saying darkly. "What the fuck was that? Do you have any idea how
scared I was?"
"Sorry."
"You should be."
"I am."
Han Sooyoung didn't say anything for a long time. She came over with a glass of water. She sighed
when Kim Dokja took the glass and drank it.
"What happened?" she asked, sitting down on the edge of the tiny bed made for one. "Why don't
you have anywhere to go? Did your fuck-buddy kick you out? Did you fight?"
Kim Dokja held on for five minutes of Han Sooyoung's constant barrage of questions and then he
broke down.
It alarmed Han Sooyoung so much, but he just couldn't stop crying. He wanted to, he hated himself
so much at the moment because he just couldn't shut up.
What was he crying for? What had he done that he deserved to cry? He was the one who fucked it
all up and now he was crying like he was the victim here.
But he didn't know what else to do. It just pained him so much. Kim Dokja was no stranger to pain,
but he never got used to it. Not when it burned through his lungs, ripped his muscles, turned his
bones into ashes and shattered his heart.
He knew what the issue was. Roughly put, he just didn't love himself.
It was silly how that was the simplest yet most complicated way to put it into words.
How ridiculous was it? Love was supposed to triumph over hatred, so why couldn't he still stop
hating himself when so many people loved him? What made his hatred so strong that he couldn't
feel even an ounce of love properly?
God, he was revolting.
Han Sooyoung was saying something, he could sort of hear her voice buzzing in his ears, but his
own horrid voice was louder as he sobbed inconsolably.
At some point, his sobs evolved into frantic, muttered apologies to the wind. Han Sooyoung had to
grab his hands and hold them in hers so that he would stop picking his own skin apart
unconsciously.
He wasn't sure when he fell asleep, but he did and when he woke up, Han Sooyoung was curled up
next to him on the bed, her hands still clutching his tightly, tear tracks on her face.
Chapter 22
Chapter Notes
Han Sooyoung was alarmed.
Something really bad had happened to Kim Dokja.
His state when she laid her eyes on him was horrible.
"You look like shit," she said, not knowing how else to convey just how terrible he looked at the
moment. His already pale face was white as a sheet, and he was trembling in the cold, he wasn't
even wearing a jacket. His eyes had lost the usual shine they had, red around the corners.
"I feel like shit," Kim Dokja had opted to say and Han Sooyoung pursed her lips. Kim Dokja, the
haughty, arrogant bastard with a shit-eating grin was not supposed to sound like that. Never would
she have imagined a scenario where he would act like this.
It was a good thing she didn't turn him away when she got his phone call. At first, she had thought
of ignoring him just to annoy him. She was glad she didn't. What would he have done if she hadn't
answered him and agreed to give him some company?
Kim Dokja fell the minute he was inside her dorm. And the bastard had the nerve to ask her to just
leave him there.
She didn't know if she had to call the hospital, the ambulance or someone else. Forcibly calming
herself down, she heaved his body up from the floor and dragged him towards the bed. If he
banged his feet and hands here and there, it wasn't her fault. She had no clue what was going on,
alright?
Okay, basic first aid they taught everyone in school. She blinked, steeled herself and got to work.
If a person faints, give them space to breathe. She had never been more glad that Kim Dokja was a
person with shit fashion sense and often wore button-downs instead of dressing like a normal
college student. She opened the first few buttons of his shirt and hoped it was enough.
Windows, windows, she had to open the windows just in case.
Han Sooyoung struggled to get Kim Dokja to lie properly on the bed and she grabbed her pillow,
her backpack, and another cushion she could find and piled them up on each other before propping
Kim Dokja's feet on them.
Elevate feet so that blood rushes to the head.
What next?
Sprinkle some water to see if they wake up?

She hurried off to the attached little kitchenette to get a bowl of water.
Kim Dokja flinched when she splattered water onto his face and if she held her finger under his
nose, like in those movies, she could feel his breathing.
Oh, thank god! Thank fucking god.

Honestly, Han Sooyoung didn't remember jack-shit from what she had been forced to learn in
school. The only reason she knew this was because she had researched it to write a realistic,
probable scene in her novel.
Han Sooyoung found a clean handkerchief of hers and soaked it in cold water, before folding it up
nicely and putting it on Kim Dokja's forehead. God, the idiot was burning up! What was he doing
walking around like that?
She slumped down on the floor and pulled her phone out. Just in case, she had to see what to do if
things go south now.
Kim Dokja muttered something incoherent under his breath and Han Sooyoung was never more
glad to hear his bullshit. At least, he was alive. Bastard! Why make her a witness and possible
suspect responsible for a death if he kicked the bucket? Really!
She waited anxiously and finally, around fifty minutes later, Kim Dokja stirred.
His voice sounded worse than before.
The bastard started talking the minute he could, acting like all this was nothing and Han Sooyoung
swore at him.
"What happened?" she asked finally when she had made sure that the idiot had had some water.
Why didn't she have some juice or something in her house? They said on the internet that you
could give a person who had just fainted some juice or something for sugar and electrolytes or
some bullshit, she had just scanned through it.
"Why don't you have anywhere to go?" she asked asking when she sat down beside him on the bed.
"Did your fuck-buddy kick you out? Did you fight? What? Did you confess and he said fuck off?
You ate his food? Stole his money? What is it? An issue you couldn't kiss and make up?"
"Is it about that guy or did something else happen? Kim Dokja, you're going to have to talk to me,
okay?"
Kim Dokja choked, getting her attention and then he broke down into actual tears.
Han Sooyoung sat there, stock still for a while. This was one of the most shocking things she had
witnessed in her life.
"H-hey! Kim Dokja! Why're you crying, dude?" she cried and realised that she was shit at
consoling a person. Of course, she was. She didn't like people at all, not even children, how would
she be able to comfort someone?
"Kim Dokja, stop crying, you bastard!"
Kim Dokja wept harder. His sobs wracked his body as he rocked back and forth, sniffling and
coughing lightly every now and then.
No matter what Han Sooyoung tried to tell him didn't have any effect on the guy.
Then he started speaking. It was quiet, it was throaty, it was painful to listen to.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," he kept muttering like a madman.

"Yeah, you should be sorry, so stop now, yeah?" Han Sooyoung shook him, grabbing him by his
shoulders and Kim Dokja just flopped around, letting her manhandle him.
"Hey, Kim Dokja, are you listening to me? Why're you sorry? You did nothing wrong, okay?"
Han Sooyoung had no idea what she was saying, but she wanted Kim Dokja to stop acting like this
right this instant.
Kim Dokja's mutterings become more frantic and he wrung his hands together, his nails scratching
and picking at his own skin causing red streaks to appear on his hands, and against his fair
complexion, they looked horrifying. The dim lighting in the room didn't help at all.
Han Sooyoung pried his hands away, her own nails breaking his skin at the force she had used. She
held his hands away from each other forcibly and Kim Dokja didn't make a single effort to pull
them out of her grasp.
Then she realised he wasn't talking to her. He wasn't hearing a single thing she was saying.
"Kim Dokja, you motherfucker," she swore, her own eyes starting to water.
Han Sooyoung had seen so many people cry in her life, she had made people cry herself and just
watched them sob in front of her. But now that this idiot who she called her friend was crying, she
started crying along.
Kim Dokja had taken to chewing on his lips, biting and pulling at the soft skin until it broke and
red blood spilt from the wound.
Han Sooyoung wrote a lot of gore. She had been hurt a lot of times, hell, she had periods every
month. Blood was not something unfamiliar to her, but never like this.
This left her agitated in a way she had never been before.
"Kim Dokja, please, you bastard! Stop, okay?" Han Sooyoung wailed along with her friend.
She forgot to check the exact time, but she was sure it was a long, long while until Kim Dokja
finally exhausted himself and succumbed to the fever burning him up. His head fell onto her
shoulder and Han Sooyoung let out a sob of relief.
She made sure he was actually just asleep and not dead or had fainted again. Then she pushed him
down so he was lying on the bed properly.
He slept like the dead, the bastard.
Han Sooyoung would have gone to the floor or her chair, but she couldn't be bothered at the
moment. She was way too tired. Slightly worried that Kim Dokja might start hurting himself again
in his hysteria, she tightened her grip on his hands, held them a good distance apart from each other
and collapsed onto the bed beside him.
"Fucking jerk," she mumbled, her eyes closing easily. "Motherfucker. I hate you so much. When
you wake up I'm going to make fun of your ugly crying face, shitty bastard."
When Han Sooyoung woke up, Kim Dokja was walking around her room, and she threw a pillow
that caught him in the head with such force that he wobbled slightly on the spot.
"Han Sooyoung," he breathed, turning around.
"You asshole!" she screamed jumping out of bed. "What the fuck was that last night, huh? You
better fucking explain. If you try to leave now, I swear—"
"I'm not leaving," Kim Dokja said and she realised his voice was still very gravelly. He did cry a
lot last night, and his eyes were all bloodshot and swollen. God, he looked horrible.
"I was going to wash my face."
Han Sooyoung relaxed, exhaling sharply and folding her arms.
"Go on, I'm watching," she said and glared at Kim Dokja's back as he staggered off to her tiny
bathroom. Han Sooyoung couldn't be bothered to be embarrassed about her undergarments hanging
inside. She didn't think Kim Dokja was either.
"What d'you want to eat?" she attempted bravely when Kim Dokja splashed water onto his face.
"I've got cornflakes and some bread if you don't want to go out to get something to eat."
"I'll make something," Kim Dokja muttered, washing his hands properly under the water.
He didn't do anything about the water dripping off his face as he walked out of the bathroom and to
the kitchenette in her dorm. It was tiny, basically just a slab, cabinets overhead and a portable stove
and a mini-freezer she had brought herself.
Kim Dokja didn't say a single thing about it and looked through her things as Han Sooyoung
followed him around.
Kim Dokja toasted bread slices on the pan, not minding that there was no butter. Then he cracked
eggs onto the pan and fried them as well.
Halfway through putting them onto the plates they had, silent tears started spilling out of his eyes
again.
"God, again?" Han Sooyoung muttered. She patted his arm awkwardly.
"I'm here to listen, Kim Dokja. . .Whatever this is. It's not going to matter in a while."
Kim Dokja didn't say anything. He wiped his tears with the back of his sleeve and continued
preparing their breakfast. Han Sooyoung wasn't sure if she wanted to ask him to stop and take over,
or let him continue.
After a quick debate with herself, she decided to let Kim Dokja continue what he was doing. She
felt he would have another mental breakdown if he was doing nothing.
Eggs and toast with coffee were their breakfast and Han Sooyoung hadn't had proper breakfast in a
long while. It was shitty how Kim Dokja had been the one to make it.
There was no dining table in her dorm, so they sat on the floor. There were no complaints. Han
Sooyoung knew Kim Dokja came from wealth, she would have usually expected a comment but
today she didn't think Kim Dokja could.
Kim Dokja was good at cooking, no matter how much shit he was at other things. She thought it
was as good as the food she had eaten at restaurants.
The man didn't share the same opinion though, he looked like he was chewing on tar. He started
crying once his fork poked his egg and broke the yolk.
Han Sooyoung let him cry and kept quiet.
Tears were still running down his face when he collected their empty plates and cups and washed
them. He didn't seem to realise he was crying.
"Hey," Han Sooyoung said finally, her throat dry when Kim Dokja turned off the tap at the little
dirty sink she hadn't bothered cleaning in a while.
"You stay here today, okay? I'm not going to class either. Let's just. . .You know, I still have that
soju we bought that day. Let's just get drunk today, okay?"
"I have to go get my things," he muttered.
"What?"
"Moving out," he said. "I have to get my things when he's not home. . .I don't know what I'll do if I
see him."
Han Sooyoung ran a hand through her hair. She had no idea what was going on and she wanted to
grab Kim Dokja and demand an explanation. But then she remembered just how he had been acting
and grimaced.
"Okay," she breathed. "Okay, let's do that. I'm coming with you. What if you died on your way or
something?"
"That'd be nice," Kim Dokja said quietly, but Han Sooyoung heard it.
"Not the time, you bastard," she snapped. Kim Dokja listened to her for once.
"So," she said, inhaling sharply. "Let's calm down for a bit, yeah? Then, when that guy's not home,
we can go get your things. Works?"
Kim Dokja nodded.
"And where will you stay after that?" Han Sooyoung asked.
"It won't—I'll arrange that. It'll be quick," Kim Dokja said.
Han Sooyoung had a lot of doubts, but she nodded anyway. If Kim Dokja ends up homeless, she
could let him stay at her dorm for a few more days. The bed was small, but they could squeeze into
it. They had done it before, both of them were lean and didn't take up a lot of space. And she was
going to make Kim Dokja cook for them every day.
They sat around, waiting for the time Kim Dokja said his roommate wouldn't be home because he
had to go pick his sister up in the afternoon from her school.
"You shouldn't miss your lectures," Kim Dokja said. A weak attempt.
"I don't give a fuck," Han Sooyoung said, sitting in her chair, staring at the Word document on her
laptop screen. She was bursting with ideas and scenes she could write, but her fingers weren't
moving.
"Are you going to tell me what happened?" she said, abandoning her attempt at writing for now
and turning around to face Kim Dokja who was sitting on the bed, holding his phone that had died
and he couldn't bring himself to charge it.
"I..." Kim Dokja started slowly. "...I..."
"You fucked up? Made a mistake?" Han Sooyoung provided and Kim Dokja nodded.
She let out an exasperated huff. "Well, yeah, explain further than that. I've got the part where you
fucked up down already. Tell me how you fucked up."
"He—" Kim Dokja choked on his own words. "He said—loved me—I—I fucked up."
Han Sooyoung closed her eyes wearily.
"So, this roommate of yours, he told you that he liked you," she repeated what she had understood.
"And you did what? Did you reject him because you thought it wouldn't work? Like last time?"
"Did you just leave?" Han Sooyoung blurted out and Kim Dokja didn't move, she took that as
affirmation.
"You fucking idiot," she grumbled. She took a deep breath and said, "Hey, it's not your fault. You
are not obligated to give him an answer. You weren't wrong for leaving. It's fine."
Kim Dokja pressed his lips into a thin line and shook his head frantically.
"I did something terrible."
"You leaving wasn't terrible, dude," Han Sooyoung cried. "It's alright. You get to do that."
Kim Dokja looked like he was going to cry again, so she stopped speaking.
Kim Dokja was right about his roommate not being there. They lived in a big, fancy flat at a nice
complex and Han Sooyoung waited outside the door, letting her envy stew in her chest as Kim
Dokja went inside and got his things.
He didn't have a lot to bring out. Just his shoulder bag and a suitcase.
"Is that all?" she said and he nodded.
"Alright, let's go," and they left quickly.
Kim Dokja seemed to relax once they were back in the safety of Han Sooyoung's tiny dorm. He put
his things in the corner of the room where it wouldn't get in their way and went to sit down on Han
Sooyoung's bed, plugging in his dead phone to charge.
"You want lunch?" Han Sooyoung tried. "I have ramen. I'll make this time."
Kim Dokja didn't really give an answer, but Han Sooyoung made them an unhealthy lunch anyway
and forced Kim Dokja to eat along with her. He ate very little, she noted. He was just too out of it
at the moment.
Han Sooyoung attempted to write again, but she was too worried about Kim Dokja who was lying
on her bed, staring blankly at the ceiling.
When the sun sank, she jumped up from the chair she was glued to uselessly all this time and
pulled out the soju bottles and water tumblers from her shelves and sat on the bed next to Kim
Dokja.
That bastard would pay for her sheets if they ended up getting ruined. And she would make him
buy super nice ones, the ones that were way too expensive for her to even dream of owning as she
was now.
It took a while took convince Kim Dokja to start drinking, but soon they were both getting tipsy
and progressively more drunk.
"You scared me, you know?" Han Sooyoung slurred.
Kim Dokja was sniffling. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
"Who are you apologized to, you bastard?"
"I'm so sorry, Hyuk-ah."
"Son of a bitch," Han Sooyoung swore. "Your Hyuk-ah can go fuck himself."
Kim Dokja sobbed harder and Han Sooyoung jumped to calm him down. "Hey, hey, I didn't mean
that. Don't cry, damn it!"
"He told me he loved me." Kim Dokja said, his words all jumbled up because he was drunk and
Han Sooyoung had to struggle to understand what he was saying.
"He said he loved me! Me! What's wrong with him? Why would he do that? Why would anyone do
that? You aren't supposed to love me! I'm cursed."
"What nonsense are you saying?" Han Sooyoung muttered, her vision swirling around as she raised
the bottle to her lips and tipped it, burning liquid hitting her throat.
"I—I fucked up so bad, Sooyoung-ah. I am such a piece of shit! He was crying. He was crying and
I let him. I made him cry. I'm so sorry, Hyuk-ak. I'm sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry."
"Just go to him if you are so sorry," Han Sooyoung snapped. "You have to be sorry to me, you jerk.
After all the shit you put me through."
The next morning they woke up, somehow on the floor, with empty alcohol bottles all around
them. This time Kim Dokja was asleep and Han Sooyoung had to wake him up.
"Are you going to class today?" she asked him once he had come around.
"No class today," he rasped.

"Good for you," Han Sooyoung grumbled, going to brush her teeth. "I have one lecture in the
afternoon. When I come back, you better be here."
Kim Dokja nodded.
Luckily, when she returned, Kim Dokja was still there. He told her that he had arranged it and
found a place for him to leave as soon as he wanted.
"Lucky you," Han Sooyoung muttered, throwing herself onto her bed beside where Kim Dokja was
sitting. "How's your headache?"
"I took a painkiller," Kim Dokja said.
"You look like shit, you know," Han Sooyoung said, looking up at his face.
"I know," Kim Dokja nodded.
"Good."
It wasn't really good. She just didn't know what to say.
Kim Dokja's phone rang from under the pillow where it was charging and they both jumped.
With a quiet apology, Kim Dokja leaned sideways and picked up his phone. The second he saw the
caller ID, his eyes went wide and with a gasp, he dropped the phone as though it had burned him.
"Is it that guy?" Han Sooyoung said slowly, turning around and grimacing at Kim Dokja's
reaction.
It was just some asshole calling him, why the hell was he so hysterical about it? Kim Dokja was
breathing hard, tears in his eyes threatening to spill as he trembled.
Han Sooyoung was about to call Kim Dokja childish and ask him to just pick up the damn phone
when she thought, what could possibly make Kim Dokja act like that.
"Hey," she said sharply, sitting straighter when she thought of something that made her blood run
cold. "Did he do something to you?"
Kim Dokja looked at her baffled.
"He did something to you, didn't he?"
Kim Dokja shook his head vehemently.
"Kim Dokja, don't lie to me," Han Sooyoung was now on her feet, yelling down at Kim Dokja. "I
swear to god if you are trying to protect him because you like him and he said he loved you or
whatever—"
"He didn't do anything!" Kim Dokja cried, horrified at the suggestion. "He would never. He's not
someone like that!"
"Then why're you acting like this?!" Han Sooyoung screamed. "Do you even see yourself? I'm
calling the police. I swear, I'll kill the guy if he's done something to you."
"He hasn't done anything!" Kim Dokja was shouting back. "He really hasn't. I'm telling the truth."
Han Sooyoung was seething, she didn't know if she should just take Kim Dokja's word for it.
Contrary to what others thought, Han Sooyoung was very reasonable and didn't start fights unless
she was incredibly enraged or sure that she could win. She didn't know who this bastard of a
roommate was, but if he had done something to Kim Dokja she was going to go over and rip him a
new one. To hell with it if he had a five-year-old sister. If he had done something to harm Kim
Dokja, she was killing him.
"I promise," Kim Dokja took her hand in his trembling one and gripped it tightly. "I promise, he
didn't do anything. Nothing of what you are thinking. All he did was confess and I just—just left."
"Then why are you acting like this?" Han Sooyoung snapped. "Anyone would think that if they
saw you! What the fuck are you doing?"
"I don't know!" Kim Dokja's voice cracked with him straining it after what had happened last night.
"I don't know! I really don't know why I'm acting like this."
The phone was still ringing loudly.
"I just—I don't know—Got scared and I left—And I...I don't want to be acting like this either—He
didn't do anything bad, I'm not lying— I don't know why I'm being like this, I really don't."
Kim Dokja's eyes kept flicking to the ringing phone and back to her.
"I just—I just—"
Kim Dokja's grip on her hand loosened and his hand fell to his side, as he took large, loud gulps of
air, like he was drowning.
It took Han Sooyoung a few seconds to realise that Kim Dokja was actually having trouble
breathing.
"H-hey, Kim D-dokja! What's wrong?" she whispered rushing forward when Kim Dokja clawed at
his own chest, eyes watering as he gasped for air.
"Kim Dokja! Kim Dokja, you son of a bitch! Breathe, you bastard!" Han Sooyoung could feel
something hot run down her cheeks. She didn't know what to do in this situation and Kim Dokja
looked like he was dying.
She had written similar scenes a lot of times. Most of her stories were set in ruined worlds and had
traumatised characters. She had done enough research and written realistic-seeming panic attack
scenes, but nothing could have prepared her to actually see it happen before her eyes.
Kim Dokja's eyes were hazing over, and even so, she could see the desperation to just breathe. Han
Sooyoung realised that her hitting his chest and slapping him wasn't helping at all.
Taking a deep breath, she thought of all the characters she had written. She had written a few who
could handle panic attacks and comforted the other character that was suffering from the attack.
She could do this. She had written them, she just had to channel what she had written and apply it
in real life.
She was aware that she was trembling too as she reached out for the stupid phone that was still
ringing and clicked the first button she found. The volume died down.
"No more phone, okay?" She said loudly, grabbing Kim Dokja's face and forcing him to look at
her. "Kim Dokja, you don't have to talk to anyone you don't want to. No one's calling you
anymore."
"Breathe, do that for me and just—fucking, breathe, okay?" Han Sooyoung said.
It was not as easy as she had written it down. She had gotten things completely wrong, it was not
easy to stay calm when someone close to you was going through a fucking panic attack.
She knew she was supposed to be calm and use a soothing, comforting voice but she really
couldn't. She knew she had to be encouraging, but she was just a fucking wreck.
"Breathe, please," Han Sooyoung spluttered, pulling Kim Dokja into a hug, patting his back.
She kept doing this, ignoring the tears running down her own face, until Kim Dokja's wretched,
pained gasps reduced and finally stopped. He was breathing heavily, but it was normal now.
She could feel her shirt get wet and realised that she had probably ruined Kim Dokja's shirt as
well.
She was so going to force rich-boy to buy her new clothes. The fancy, expensive kind. And a
truckload of them.
"Sorry," Kim Dokja was saying again, his voice so weak it was barely audible. Han Sooyoung
wouldn't even have heard it if it weren't for the rumble in his chest pressed against her.
"Sorry. I'm so sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry."
Bastard. If he was apologizing to his fucking Hyuk-ah, again—
"Han Sooyoung, I'm sorry," Kim Dokja breathed out. "I don't know why that happened. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry."
"You better buy me all the nice things in the world, okay?" Han Sooyoung said, her voice ruined
and well.
"Okay," Kim Dokja gave in easily.
"I'm shameless, I'm going to ask for a shit ton of things."
"Okay."
"Okay."
It took a while for both of them to calm down, and by the end of it, both of them were
embarrassed.
"Your mental fortitude is shit," Han Sooyoung commented as she gave Kim Dokja's phone to him.
"If you were in an apocalypse, you'd be so fucked because your mental strength is bullshit."
"Whatever," Kim Dokja muttered, tentatively taking his phone.
"Here's what we're going to do," Han Sooyoung said sharply. "We're muting the guy's number.
And I'm going to keep your phone."
"You can't do that," Kim Dokja said. "I have other important things I need to do."
"Are you sure you can handle seeing his messages and all his calls?" Han Sooyoung said
scathingly. "Can you stop yourself from crawling back?"
Kim Dokja flinched.
"Yeah, so until the guy stops," Han Sooyoung said, nodding at the phone that was still vibrating,
the ringtone was just silenced, the menace was still calling and Kim Dokja was still sitting on pins.
"I'll keep your shitty phone and ignore his shit for you, okay?"
"Just change the names of all your contacts," she said when Kim Dokja looked dubious. "Like put a
large X near the guy's name. And if something's important, put important next to it, so I'll know
which one to give to you and which one to ignore."
Kim Dokja slowly relented and changed the names on his contact list slowly.
Han Sooyoung noticed that the settings of his phone were all in English. This fucker!
She could still decipher shit though. She wasn't completely hopeless, it just took her a while to read
English, but she could read. Kim Dokja still read and texted in Korean though.
"Why's it all English?" she asked him.
"Practice," Kim Dokja muttered. "I brought it there, couldn't bother changing it. It's doing its job,
how does it matter?"
Han Sooyoung sniffed indignantly. Right, this one was a fucking nerd. He wasn't a top student for
nothing.
When Kim Dokja handed his phone, his most precious possession back to Han Sooyoung, she
stared at the contact that was now calling him.
'Roommate X'
Okay, this dude was getting his ass so ghosted by her.
The call ended and messages rolled in from the top.
'Kim Dokja
Please
I'm sorry
I am begging you
Mia is crying
Mia misses you
I miss you
Kim Dokja, I love you
I'm sorry
Please
Don't leave me
Don't leave
Please
Dokja-yah
Hyung
Hyung
Kim Dokja
Dokja
Please
Just pick up the call
Speak to me just once
Why did you leave
I won't do it again
I promise I'll stop
We can go back to the way we were
So please
Come back home
Please
I'm waiting
I'll be waiting
I'll always be waiting'
God, this guy was desperate. Even Han Sooyoung felt sorry for him. When the messages stopped,
he would start calling and Han Sooyoung ignored that as well.
She really felt bad for this dude, but Kim Dokja came first. And she knew for a fact that if Kim
Dokja saw it, he would have a full meltdown again. She was not going to see that happen again. No
way in motherfucking hell.
Han Sooyoung clicked the power button at the side and the screen turned dark.
"Are you fine with telling me now?" she asked. "If you've calmed down. You know, so I know
how to act?"
Kim Dokja was very hesitant about the whole thing, but eventually, he caved in and told her. It was
a long story, by the end of which Han Sooyoung was so fucking frustrated.
If it hadn't been for Kim Dokja's panic attack just a few hours ago, she would have forced him to
call the dude herself.
He loved him, and that guy loved him back. Seriously, what all this bullshit was about was beyond
her.
Kim Dokja had some issues of his own to work out and until he did that, he wouldn't be able to talk
to the guy without collapsing.
She would advise him some other day, not today. Today, Kim Dokja was in a way too vulnerable
state and she wasn't stupid enough to ruin this fragile calmness she had managed to bring.
"Why do you think that though?" she said, forcing herself to sound calm like those gentle
characters she wrote.
"I'm just not. . .you know," Kim Dokja muttered, staring at the wall over her head.
"No, I don't know," Han Sooyoung said simply.
"No one wants damaged goods, Sooyoung."
"Why are people goods, you bastard?" she snapped.

"Fine, damaged person then," Kim Dokja gave in easily. "I just can't,"
"Whatever you emo bastard."
Kim Dokja didn't rise to the provocation.
"You went through this shit just now, didn't you?" was what he said instead. "It was exhausting,
wasn't it? Didn't you wish it would just end?"
Han Sooyoung didn't say anything, but it was true, she did wish it would end as soon as possible.
"I've gone through worse," Kim Dokja said quietly. "It's happened and everyone. . .I ruin things,
Han Sooyoung. I don't want to do that to him."
"So, you're being noble and sacrificing yourself for someone else's happiness, is that it?" she said
through gritted teeth.
"I'm just running away," Kim Dokja sighed. "I don't think I'll be able to handle it. I can't be happy,
and that makes others sad. And then I become sad, and it's a loop that doesn't end."
"There are pills for that dude, there's medication and all that shit," Han Sooyoung grumbled,
pulling her knees to her chest and resting her head on them.
They were sitting on her bed, side by side, their backs pressed against the wall behind them.
Kim Dokja smiled weakly.
"You could have at least given it a try," Han Sooyoung said quietly. "You could have, I don't
know, learnt how to be happy."
"Like in those novels?" Kim Dokja said, almost scathingly. "Do you think that's how it works?"
"I wouldn't know."
"It doesn't. . .I would know."
Han Sooyoung had nothing to say to that. They were both too tired and another day she would have
more energy and would have said something very clever back to make Kim Dokja annoyed.
"Have you seen him?" Kim Dokja said softly, leaning his head back on the wall and closing his
eyes.
"No," Han Sooyoung said without missing a beat. "I don't want to either."
Kim Dokja chuckled a bit.
"He's—He's brilliant, Han Sooyoung," Kim Dokja confessed. "He shines, you know. He's
beautiful."
"You're a fucking sap," Han Sooyoung said, dying with curiosity to know more about this guy that
Kim Dokja was completely smitten with. Kim Dokja laughed again.
"I can't ruin it because I got greedy," he muttered, exhaling shakily into the air. "He deserves
someone perfect, someone not fucked up like me. He deserves more than me. Something perfect.
Only the best."
"I'm not that, so it's wrong."
"God, you really need therapy," Han Sooyoung scoffed loudly. "I've never heard such bullshit in
my entire fucking life."
The Kim Dokja she knew would never tell her all this, but right now he was tired and running a
high fever. He was blabbing everything without a filter and she was listening, it was probably the
one time he would be honest.
She had half a heart to call that roommate guy and make him listen to this so that these two idiots
would just reconcile like in those dramas and just be happy.
"Is anyone ever perfect?" she said. "Humans are not made to be perfect. What's the best supposed
to even be?"
"Not me, that's for sure."
"You're a fucking idiot."
"Han Sooyoung," Kim Dokja said gravely. "Loving someone like me is not easy, you know.
People only get hurt."
Han Sooyoung swore at him some more and concluded by asking him to go fuck himself.
Kim Dokja thought too much and had his self-esteem buried down in the depths of the deepest
ocean, whichever one it was. She would have played the hype-man best friend role, but she was too
tired today after already being the best friend who tries to keep this fragile idiot alive before hed
dies because of a panic attack.
"You better not think of ditching me after you leave college," she said, remembering that it was
Kim Dokja's last year and that he would leave soon.
"You want to keep in touch?" Kim Dokja said, sounding genuinely surprised. Han Sooyoung found
it in herself to move her hand and hit him in the head.
"I'm your friend, you better fucking keep in touch, bitch," Han Sooyoung snarled. "You called me
your friend first. I'm your best friend now. I'm stuck with you for life. No escape, fucker."
Kim Dokja was silent for a long time and then whispered, "...cringe."
Han Sooyoung felt herself turn red. She whirled around and hit his hand, swearing at him. "Shut
the fuck up, you bastard! You're the cringe loser. Fuck yourself, fucking bastard!"
Kim Dokja wailed in pain, but he was smiling and Han Sooyoung was glad. It was an embarrassing
moment, sure, but those were what made things strangely memorable and touching. Like in the
stories she wrote.
Chapter End Notes

Was it too OOC?
Who the fuck cares!
I just wanted to write platonic DokSoo and no one can stop me
Chapter 23
Chapter Notes
At first, I was like, one chapter should be a good 5-6k words.

Here I am, with 9000+words
What's the word count for this fic even going to be?
Enjoy~
"Is that what you've been eating all this week?" Han Sooyoung said, eyeing the half-eaten triangle
kimbap in Kim Dokja's hand. "I've seen that thing every afternoon. It's not like you can't afford
good meals, what are you doing?"
"Doesn't matter," Kim Dokja shrugged, eyes moving rapidly from side to side as he read the Word
document on the laptop before him. He was editing Han Sooyoung's latest chapter. She had been
ready to face a quality drop in his editing, but that didn't happen. She would even go one step
further and say he had improved somehow.
"As long as it's sending my body energy, it's doing its job."
"You'll lose your physique that way," Han Sooyoung said. Though Kim Dokja was lean, he was
actually fit.
"It's not like I'm going around fighting the apocalypse, I'll be fine," he said dismissively.
"You're going to die early," Han Sooyoung was still trying. She was worried for this idiot who
didn't take care of himself at all. It became rather obvious that the only reason he was having a
balanced diet was because of that roommate of his. Kim Dokja could cook, he could actually cook
well, but the idiot was just too lazy to do so.
"And that is a problem how?" he said.
Kim Dokja looked up from the laptop.
"Can you imagine yourself living past thirty?" he said, genuinely curious.
Han Sooyoung humoured his question. What would she be doing when she's thirty? She would like
to be a best-selling author with a lot of money. She told Kim Dokja just that.
"Let's hope that happens," he said. "But if you keep writing this at four in the morning, sleep
deprived, it's not going to happen. Do you know just how many typos are in this?"
"What do you think your job is?" Han Sooyoung scowled.
"I'm not getting paid."
"I'm paying you in story," Han Sooyoung drawled. "You'd take my story over money any day,
won't you?"
"What bullshit is that even supposed to be?" Kim Dokja scoffed, but he didn't deny it. He would, in
fact, take Han Sooyoung's story over money. He had enough money already.
Kim Dokja was glad that the protagonist he was reading about was Yu Jonghyun, instead of Yoo
Joonghyuk. That would have messed him up completely. He was also glad that Yu Jonghyun's
personality was much cheery and usual action novel MC-like.
He was still struggling to keep himself in check and sometimes he thought it was a good thing that
he left his phone with Han Sooyoung. When someone marked 'IMP' or 'VVIMP' called, she would
text them a very polite message that Kim Dokja had written about contacting him on another
number and saved it in his notes application, and then he would receive the call on his new phone
that he had started using more comfortably now.
The only issue with that is that Han Sooyoung now knew that he sort of was the successor to some
company, Kim Dokja didn't elaborate on that, and Han Sooyoung was sensible enough to leave the
interrogation for a later time.
Kim Dokja could always just block Yoo Joonghyuk, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Han
Sooyoung offered to do it a couple of times, but he said it was fine. Yoo Joonghyuk had to be the
one to do it.
Finding a new place to stay wasn't very difficult for him. He just needed to make a phone call and
it wasn't like he was staying for too long either. Just a few months now.
It was a much smaller apartment than the previous one, but Kim Dokja didn't need a large space
anyway. Smaller spaces gave him a sense of safety that large rooms didn't.
Shouldn't it be the other way around? Didn't people have claustrophobia? What was wrong with
him? Just why couldn't he be normal?
Thinking about it wasn't going to help him at all.
He pulled his focus away from his thoughts and to whatever Han Sooyoung was on about now
with that scowl on her face.
"Your office always pisses me off," Han Sooyoung was grumbling.
"It's all nepotism," Kim Dokja answered dully, still reading and editing the manuscript.
Han Sooyoung found out about his job at Elysuim, not all of it, but the part about him having
gotten the manager position after pulling a few strings after she let him in on a secret of hers.
"It serves no purpose being this big and shiny. This whole place doesn't serve any purpose being
big and shiny!" she complained.
"You're still getting Elysuim's exclusive desserts for free," Kim Dokja deadpanned. "You wouldn't
even be able to have it in your dream otherwise."
"Did I ask you to do that?" Han Sooyoung smirked. "You did that all yourself, trying to convince
me to write that trash again."
Kim Dokja let out a quiet sigh. It had come as quite a shock when Han Sooyoung revealed a secret
of hers that flipped his world around.
Kim Dokja thought it was because he was moping around too much after the incident and Han
Sooyoung decided to let out one of her most guarded secrets to cheer him up.
She was Tls123.

"Why did you stop?!" Kim Dokja had cried once she finished proving to him that she was indeed
Tls123 and that she wasn't trying to prank him.
"It was a shitty story," Han Sooyoung grumbled. "You were the only one reading it. You're still
reading it, for what?"
Kim Dokja had shrugged. "It's an amazing story. It's my favourite."
"And why do you keep writing comments even now?" Han Sooyoung scolded him, punching his
arm. "Do you have any idea how annoying that is? If someone stops responding, you should stop
trying. Isn't that obvious?"
"I thought the writer could use some encouragement," Kim Dokja said defensively. "I can't believe
all my effort's gone to waste. And you decided to abandon your old work and start this new one?
No acknowledgement given at all?"
"Yeah, because I didn't want to associate myself with that pathetic nonsense," Han Sooyoung
huffed.
Kim Dokja didn't like it all that much, but let it be because it was Han Sooyoung, the person who
had helped him out, who was helping him out when he was in a shitty situation.
But he still called her a plagiarist every chance he called.
And Kim Dokja had shown her to Elysium in hopes that he would be able to bribe her with
expensive treats into writing Ways of Survival again.
Said plagiarist was currently lounging on his chair behind his desk, legs propped up on the table,
phone in hand, scrolling through the internet, grumbling about nepotism and how some people
were just lucky and set for life.
"I know right," Kim Dokja said. "It makes no sense to me sometimes."
"Are you trying to act humble? It's not working," Han Sooyoung sneered.
"I'm adopted," Kim Dokja said out of nowhere and Han Sooyoung looked up sharply from her
phone.
"What?"
He nodded.
"I got adopted when I was sixteen," he said. "And before that...yeah, there's no need to go into that.
But anyway, sometimes, I really can't believe I got lucky, you know?"
"You're adopted," Han Sooyoung said slowly. "And your parents took you abroad?"
"They're from abroad," Kim Dokja told her. "They just saw me one day at a hospital and decided,
yeah, that tiny little thing's going to be their son and took me in."
"Really?"
"Really. I'm not lying."
"Do people even get adopted when they're sixteen?" Han Sooyoung muttered.
"I know right," Kim Dokja's grin was a bit wonky. "It really makes no sense. Wouldn't parents
want to have little kids so that they can witness the growing up stage and all that? Why a teen
who's almost of age?"
"Your parents sound nice," Han Sooyoung sighed.
"My birth ones weren't," Kim Dokja said. He had stopped reading now as well.
"On a scale from one to ten, how shit were they?" Han Sooyoung said. "I'm taking notes.
Inspiration from real life."
"My father was an abusive piece of shit, so a good eight, I'd say," Kim Dokja said, thinking about
it. "And my mother abandoned me, so I'd give her a good ten."
"Excellent," Han Sooyoung said dryly, not thinking it was excellent at all, but she jotted it down on
her phone anyway. "Your new parents?"
"They're the best," Kim Dokja said without missing a beat. "Absolutely wonderful."
"Excellent," Han Sooyoung said again, but this time it was a bit more cheerful.
"What were your parents like?" he asked.
"They're still alive," Han Sooyoung snorted. "What do you mean 'were'?"
"You pretend they're dead anyway, does it matter?" Kim Dokja said and Han Sooyoung's eyes
flitted up to him for a second before returning to her phone.
"Did I make it that obvious?" she said and Kim Dokja shrugged.
"They're shit too, man," she said with a heavy sigh. "Both a solid nine according to me. . .I left the
second I'd stolen enough money to move out on my own. It wasn't like they cared anyway."
She closed her eyes and threw her head back. "Should I get a part-time job?"
"You won't get one as nice as this one anyway," Kim Dokja reminded her, gesturing around his
office and he got a dirty scowl for that.
"D'you want to try being my replacement at the library once I'm gone?" he asked. "There's nothing
to do anyway, and you'll be around books."
"I don't like reading as much as you," Han Sooyoung waved her hand. "I was thinking of the
receptionist at the administration block."
"Campus?"
"Yeah."
"It should work...but isn't it too much work though? You're lazy. What if you get fired?"
"Can you shut up?" Han Sooyoung snapped at him.

"Your boyfriend's mad at you," Kim Dokja said, looking at the texts that were rolling in on Han
Sooyoung's phone as she did her skincare routine for the night before she got to writing.
"What now?" Han Sooyoung groaned.
Kim Dokja paused the video he was watching and took her phone in his free hand before reading
through the messages.
"He thinks you're cheating," Kim Dokja informed her and she scoffed.
"What?!" she turned away from the mirror she was standing in front of. "Ask that motherfucker to
go fuck himself."
Kim Dokja had offered to find Han Sooyoung a better place and she took it. Anywhere was better
than the shitty accommodation the university provided. At first, he showed her big, fancy places
that she always said she would like to have, but Han Sooyoung turned out to be much more similar
to him than he had thought.
She didn't like big empty places much either. And she told him to just let her have the empty room
in his apartment for the next few months up until he left and then she could keep the place for
herself.
Kim Dokja thought it was a reasonable plan and proceeded with it. He did notice the real reason
why Han Sooyoung had suggested it though. She was a bit too worried about what he would do
when she was not around, especially after she noticed the scars he had hidden under his tattoos.
Maybe it was because she was an author who wrote countless different characters, she seemed to
get the drift pretty quickly.
Han Sooyoung was a bit loud, but it kept him distracted from the thoughts in his head, so he didn't
consider it too bad of a deal.
"Tell him that yourself," Kim Dokja muttered returning to watching Yoo Joonghyuk's recorded
stream he had missed a while back.
It had been months and Kim Dokja thought it was getting better at moving on, or rather putting his
emotions aside quicker. It was good for business anyway, made him much more level-headed.
"This is all your fault, Kim Dokja," Han Sooyoung spat as he dropped Han Sooyoung's phone onto
the place he had picked it from.
"How's it my fault?" he said, rolling his eyes.
"You could have just said 'Hey, I like dick' and everything would have been fine," Han Sooyoung
snapped.
"But I don't," Kim Dokja said blankly and Han Sooyoung yelled out in frustration from the
bathroom. She even marched out of the bathroom to throw a towel at him. Han Sooyoung had an
uncanny ability when it came to throwing things, and the towel managed to travel across the room
and hit him in the legs.
Han Sooyoung getting a boyfriend was something Kim Dokja found very hilarious. He had
laughed about it for days.
But Han Sooyoung's boyfriend did not like that she was friends with Kim Dokja very much. Oh,
how he hated that they were living together, even if it was just a temporary arrangement. And it did
not help that Han Sooyoung hung out more with Kim Dokja who was in her department than with
her boyfriend from Business Administration, and everyone thought that Kim Dokja and Han
Sooyoung were in a relationship.
Han Sooyoung's way of clearing this up with her boyfriend was by introducing him and saying,
"This guy's gay."
Kim Dokja felt it was the wrong allegation and found the need to correct it. He wasn't sure what he
was, but he felt he found both men and women attractive. And no, that did not mean he going to
just sleep with them because he found them objectively attractive. Being intimate with someone
required a level of understanding and trust, and a good deal of emotions involved. . . .He should
have noticed this before. It would have saved everyone a lot of trouble, damn it!
Well, at least now he did know that.
"But you did like once," Han Sooyoung was saying rudely, going back to finish up. "You did like
some dick. You just had to spin your words—You know what, you didn't even have to talk! You
could have just grinned and he would have been fucking fine."
"That's what I did. And he thought I was hitting on him," Kim Dokja reminded her dully. "Does he
really think he can defeat Yoo Joonghyuk?"
"It would have been an ego boost," Han Sooyoung drawled. "You could have just ignored it. Who
cares? Couldn't you just let that bastard have it? And which Yoo Joonghyuk are you talking
about?"
"Your regressor crush is fictional, leave him the fuck alone, okay? And the gamer guy's a fucking
asshole, leave him alone too."
Kim Dokja ignored her pointedly.
Han Sooyoung could be harsh and weird sometimes, but he found it touching that she would much
rather get into fights with her boyfriend defending Kim Dokja than just cutting off all ties with
him.
Had it been Yoo Joonghyuk and him in this situation, Kim Dokja wouldn't have thought a lot
before ditching Han Sooyoung. That said a lot about his skewed priorities that he ought to fix.
Han Sooyoung was right though, she didn't have to settle for a guy with so many trust issues. She
was willing to still be his girlfriend, but if he broke up with her over such a stupid reason as who
she was friends with, then she wouldn't give a fuck about it.
Kim Dokja had been a witness to this great argument and the stunned face Han Sooyoung's
boyfriend had before it turned into a seething glare aimed at him.
Kim Dokja did see where her boyfriend was coming from though and he sympathised with the guy.
But Han Sooyoung was his friend, so he was bound to take her side. Han Sooyoung knew this too.
Sometimes, Kim Dokja wished he could have Han Sooyoung's shameless confidence.
Han Sooyoung was done with her routine and went to her room to get her laptop before settling on
the other end of the sofa Kim Dokja was lounging on.
"That's mine," Kim Dokja eyes the black and white headband Han Sooyoung was using to keep her
hair out of her face.
"What's yours is mine," Han Sooyoung said. "What's mine is also mine."
"Why are you like this?"
"Shut up before I make you run errands," Han Sooyoung said, cracking her knuckles and flexing
her fingers before placing her hands on the keyboard. "Don't interrupt my genius."
But, Kim Dokja, just out of spite, interrupted her 'genius' by joining Yoo Joonghyuk's live stream
that he had been waiting for to start all this time and increasing the volume.
"You asshole," Han Sooyoung grumbled before kicking him in the leg. "Put your damn
headphones on, bitch."
Kim Dokja ignored her, but he did reduce the volume a bit. Han Sooyoung clicked her tongue
when she saw the expression he had as Yoo Joonghyuk greeted his audience for the day and
informed them of what he was going to do now.
Some fifteen minutes into Yoo Joonghyuk's live stream, where he sat playing silently, the only
noise being the sound effects from the game and the donations the members of the chat were
sending him, Kim Dokja found the courage to say something he had been keeping in for days.
He dropped the news of him leaving for military service as soon as he got his degree to Han
Sooyoung.
"You're going to enlist now?" Han Sooyoung had given a very similar reaction to the ones his
parents had given. Kim Dokja was expecting Dionysus' call anytime now.
"Yeah, why?" he said. "I still have to go, you know? Better now than later."
"Do you really think you'll cross paths with that guy again?" Han Sooyoung said, glowering at
him. "Is that what this is?"
"No, but I'm pretty sure that won't ever happen anyway," Kim Dokja said matter of factly. He knew
for a fact that he was going to enlist months before Yoo Joonghyuk and hence they weren't going to
ever meet each other now.
It was all good.
"What did your parents say?" Han Sooyoung asked.
"They were sad," Kim Dokja told her. "They want me to reconsider, but I'm not growing any
younger. I'll just get it done with now before my bones start creaking or some shit."
"Right, you are growing old," Han Sooyoung muttered. "How old are you, ahjussi?"
Kim Dokja glared at her. He had a smart reply on his tongue but decided to focus on the stream he
was watching.
"You get all soft around that bastard, it's disgusting," Han Sooyoung provided and Kim Dokja
ignored her.
This was the only way he could see Yoo Joonghyuk now. He wasn't breaking out into fits when he
thought of him anymore, and loving from a distance suited him better anyway. It was a bit
ridiculous, how he couldn't look at a call or an old message from Yoo Joonghyuk but could watch
his streams all day.
Yoo Joonghyuk looked a bit too serious now. And he was very sorry for that.
So he donated a bit more and sent encouraging messages that played out loud from the other end.
"Now you're just doing this to spite me," Han Sooyoung hissed and Kim Dokja grinned.
"Two birds with one stone, actually," he said smartly.
"You know I went to high school with the guy, right?" Han Sooyoung muttered, throwing her legs
over Kim Dokja's and going back to her laptop.
"Yeah, you've told me," Kim Dokja muttered. He really wasn't watching Yoo Joonghyuk's
gameplay anymore. He felt it was a bit insulting, but his face just kept catching his attention all the
time.
"He's got an absolute shit personality, you know?"
"Yep, you've said that too."
"He even hits girls."
"He hit you because you were being a little shit. Besides, you told me you got back at him."
"Of course, I did. You should've seen his face!"
Kim Dokja let out a soft sigh, his attention on Yoo Joonghyuk on his phone. He had heard Han
Sooyoung's long story of how she had tried to convince Yoo Joonghyuk to promote her web
novels, and how the protagonist of Ways of Survival had been modelled after what she thought a
more mature Yoo Joonghyuk would be like.
She sometimes blamed him for the first protagonist turning out to be such a boring, cold,
psychopathic nutjob. 'He's just got a shit personality and nothing I did could ever improve that', she
would say.
"He thinks he's hot shit, but he's not."
"Hmm."
"Seriously?" Han Sooyoung cried. "You still like him? After all the advice I've given? Why?!"
"He's good at what he does."
Han Sooyoung snorted. "Yeah, right. The idiot was a dumb one back in school."
Kim Dokja frowned slightly. "He wouldn't have been able to get into our uni if that was the case."
Han Sooyoung shook her head, laughing mockingly. "He got lucky," she said coldly. "That bastard
would do nothing but play shitty games on his—" she wiggled her hands to mime holding
something and pushing buttons.
"—What's that called? That gaming thing, you know?"

She struggled for a bit, then gave up, "You know what I'm talking about anyway. He was always
on that. He was just sort of popular, 'cause he was handsome and people thought he was cool."
"He is, no?" Kim Dokja said and Han Sooyoung gagged, disgusted.
"Want me to set you up?" Han Sooyoung offered a few seconds of silence later.
"Are you crazy?!" Kim Dokja cried, jumping in alarm. "Don't you dare!"
Han Sooyoung looked surprised at his reaction as well. It took her a few seconds to process, then
she grinned maniacally.
"Are you sure?" she cackled. "Are you absolutely sure? You could lose a good chance."
"Please, do not!" Kim Dokja pleaded. "Anything but that, you witch!"
Han Sooyoung seemed to find this very entertaining and that was a new threat now, 'I'll bring that
gamer bastard to you'. The worst part is that it always worked, Kim Dokja kept falling for it.
Han Sooyoung always kept making fun of Kim Dokja being a nervous wreck at the mention of his
crush. Kim Dokja didn't bother correcting or giving any further information on that topic.
"Now, I'll have this place all for myself," Han Sooyoung said, walking into his room as he was
packing his bag for his flight the next morning.
"Good for you," Kim Dokja said. "You have to pay the rent all by yourself too."
"It's not that expensive," Han Sooyoung sniffed indignantly. "I can manage, you bastard."
Kim Dokja hummed vaguely.
"It still pisses me off though," Han Sooyoung grumbled, sitting down on Kim Dokja's bed and
crossing her legs as she looked down at him sitting on the floor, putting his clothes into his
luggage, all neatly folded.
"Why can't you just buy this place too? And reduce my rent?"
"I shouldn't have told you that," Kim Dokja sighed. It was too late to regret it now.
In an attempt to cheer him up one day, Han Sooyoung had mentioned that at least now his
roommate would have to spend a lot from his own pockets to pay for the fancy place he lived in.
Kim Dokja only reluctantly admitted that when he bought out the complex before they moved in,
he had reduced the rent significantly for their flat. Han Sooyoung threw a hissy fit about that,
yelling at Kim Dokja for nearly an hour about just how stupid it was.
But, hey, it wasn't all that bad. That had been his debut into the real estate scene in South Korea.
"You're going to Japan?" Han Sooyoung muttered, eyeing the check-in details that were lying on
his bed which Kim Dokja had printed out onto an A4 sheet a few hours earlier.
"Hmm."
"Your parents are Japanese?"
"Greek," he told Han Sooyoung.
"Greek!?"
"Yeah."
"Holy shit...Why're you going to Japan then?" she demanded.
"There's someone else I have to meet there," Kim Dokja told her.
"Is it a nice place?" she asked.
"Japan?"
"Yeah."
"It's nice."
"Korea or Japan?"
"Greece."
"You're incorrigible," Han Sooyoung scoffed and Kim Dokja smiled. "Why Greece?"
"My parents are there. And so is their house, it's huge. Like a castle, almost," he said.
"Of course, that's the reason," Han Sooyoung rolled her eyes.
His parents had wanted to come to be there for his graduation ceremony and watch him get the
degree, but Kim Dokja said there was no need to come all the way for a ceremony that wouldn't
even last a whole day. He would just go back to them once it was done.
Though they were reluctant, they agreed and let him do as he wished.
Going to Japan hadn't been in his original plan until he got a very surprising call from his master,
yelling at him for not contacting him at all and thinking of doing nonsensical things without
consulting anyone first.
Kim Dokja supposed his parents had reached out to Kyrgios Rodgraim in hopes that he could
dissuade Kim Dokja from going on his mandatory military service soon.
And now he was going to Japan, where his parents said would meet him. Stay there for a week or
so, before returning and going for his mandatory service to his country.
Kim Dokja regretted agreeing to go to Japan because the second they saw him, they all seemed to
know that something was wrong.
Though they said pleasanter words, it could be translated into the words Han Sooyoung often used,
"You look like shit."
Kim Dokja skirted around the topic of his disaster of a love life and the whole fiasco with his
roommate. He didn't tell them anything about how the scenario had proceeded, but they seemed to
know that something had happened.
Kim Dokja thought it had started a strange sort of comradery with his master since both had failed
in love with people who practised certain swordsmanship.
Military service was shit. He hated it. He wanted to go back home.
He thought it would make him somehow tougher, but it did not. He had started believing Han
Sooyoung's words of his mental fortitude being horrible. The place did nothing to help him want to
live. They had guns around, just made it easier for him to shoot himself in the head if someone
managed to push him a bit too far.
The only thing good about the army was this friend he had made.
Lee Hyunsung.
Kim Dokja didn't get the chance to meet him all that often, but every time they did meet, they
would end up talking for hours. Or rather, it was Lee Hyunsung talking and Kim Dokja listening
and giving him some advice here and there.
Kim Dokja would never tell him that the only reason he had even helped him out when the other
man had gotten in some trouble was because he remembered the guy being someone Yoo
Joonghyuk cared about.
"Thinking out of the box is just a saying now, Hyunsung-ssi," Kim Dokja said over lunch. "It is a
saying people like to use to encourage, it's started losing its meaning though. Come up with your
own ideas, do something new, think out of the box, all that... If the box in itself is vast, how far
could every human possibly see out of it?"
"When we are born, we are put into a little bubble. We see, hear, feel, and learn only that the
bubble can touch and only what the bubble allows. And then we grow up, step out of the bubble
into the world that seems so, so wide. If someone were to say that this was just a tiny box and that
we ought to look beyond it, I would punch them."
Lee Hyunsung grinned weakly.
"Do you mind if I tell you what I think?"
"Oh, no, please go ahead, Dokja-ssi!" Lee Hyunsung said frantically waving his hands. Kim Dokja
smiled at him.
"I don't think it matters how tiny our box is," he said. "It doesn't matter if we can never step out of
it. As long as we know our box, it's fine. Life doesn't have a manual."
"Sometimes I wish it did," Lee Hyunsung chuckled.
It had taken a bit of convincing to get Lee Hyunsung to address him without using his rank. It just
made Kim Dokja feel so very awkward, so when they were in private, they addressed each other a
bit more casually. Lee Hyunsung seemed like he would actually combust before addressing Kim
Dokja informally even though they were of the same age, so Kim Dokja didn't push it.
"Don't we all?" Kim Dokja let out a sigh. "It sure would have made things a lot easier. . .But how
far can a manual really take you?"
"It's like Dokja-ssi said," Lee Hyunsung said quietly. "As long as the manual helps navigate
through our box, it should work fine."
"It should," Kim Dokja nodded. Lee Hyunsung seemed to be waiting for him to add to that, so he
opened his mouth again. "How much do you think the manual knows though?"
"Pardon?"
"Can a manual, made for general use, be able to tell what we feel, what we think? So how far can
blindly follow the manual? Maybe most of life can be navigated through by using a manual, using
someone else's instructions. But there will come a point, where you will have to make your own
choice. Even not making a choice can be considered a choice if you think about it."
"What if we make the wrong choice?" Lee Hyunsung said, dejectedly picking up the
"Does it matter?" Kim Dokja shrugged. "There is no way of knowing the future. Anything could go
wrong at any time. But what matters is that you made a choice. Hyunsung-ssi, I believe you can
make the choice that is best for you."
"How so, Dokja-ssi? I'm not very reliable," Lee Hyunsung shook his head with a sad smile.
"But you are, though?" Kim Dokja said, tilting his head to the side, looking confused.
"Yes?"
"You are," Kim Dokja said believing it wholeheartedly. He had heard Yoo Joonghyuk talk about
Lee Hyunsung a lot of times; about how he was a bit too innocent and a bit too naive, how he got
flustered easily and even after all of that, how he could trust Hyunsung to have his back at all
times.
"Reliable, that is."
Lee Hyunsung stared at him for a whole three seconds, before dropping his gaze again.
"I get this strange feeling when I'm talking to you, Dokja-ssi," he muttered. "I'm not sure why, but
it feels like I've known you for a long time."
"Is that so?" Kim Dokja said. "I'm glad you feel that way, Hyunsung-ssi."
"Have you ever had a dream, Dokja-ssi?" Lee Hyunsung asked.
"I think so," Kim Dokja answered. "I didn't a long time ago until someone helped me out."
"Did it work out for you?"
"Not exactly, but it did, in a way," Kim Dokja said truthfully. "Life didn't go as I thought it would.
It was very surprising, but I think it's alright."
A few weeks later, Lee Hyunsung came to him to tell him about his decision on going back to the
gaming field. Apparently, there had been an incident that made Lee Hyunsung want to leave. He
didn't think he was fit for it, and thought his teammates were disappointed at him and his
performance.
But now he finally had the courage to try once again and it was all thanks to Kim Dokja.
That confused Kim Dokja a bit, but he smiled and accepted the gratitude. He was glad that Lee
Hyunsung looked happy now.
"I hope you chase after your dream, too, Dokja-ssi," Lee Hyunsung had told him brightly before he
left.
Kim Dokja didn't have a huge dream though. He didn't think his words would have come out like
that. When his future seemed like one big void, when he couldn't think of anything he could do,
Yoo Joonghyuk had come along and told him that being an editor would work for him. So he had
only thought of that exclusively for a while until his parents came along.
It didn't mean he had given up on the original goal that made his future seem a tiny bit worth
looking forward to during those dark times. He was technically still editing Han Sooyoung's
novel.
They had started a little, funny game. It began with Han Sooyoung pranking him on her birthday,
which happened to fall on the first of April. Kim Dokja managed to get to the PC, to read the latest
chapter of SSSSS-grade Infinite Regressor, when he saw that the only novel in his favourites had a
new update.
All giddy, beaming from ear to ear, Kim Dokja had opened the web novel, thinking that Han
Sooyoung had finally given in and decided to continue Ways of Survival.
But he was met with the most disappointing message filled with emoticons laughing at him and an
infuriating message from Han Sooyoung, wishing him a very happy April Fool's day.
That fucking witch.
Kim Dokja had left a barrage of scathing comments in that chapter.
It soon became their way of communicating, Han Sooyoung would text him random bullshit,
sometimes she would even put in her attempts at experimenting with writing styles and tropes,
asking for his opinions and Kim Dokja would leave comments in the chapter, that the author would
respond to, sometimes as comments, sometimes a whole new 'chapter'.
Kim Dokja was so glad to finally be leaving the military. His parents were there to welcome him
when he returned, surprising him with the news that they were going to stay in Seoul for a while,
tour the city and enjoy time with their son.
Han Sooyoung was still struggling with her final year and Kim Dokja took the chance to annoy her
when he saw it. He wouldn't have missed it for anything in the world. Han Sooyoung's annoyance
brought him joy.
He still thought about what Lee Hyunsung had told him a while back though. That coupled with
the things his master had tried to teach him, Kim Dokja decided to take a big step.
He found a copy of the book that woman, Lee Sookyung had written on the internet and bought it.
He was going to read it.
He would read it, the book that had ruined his life and then he would make peace with the past that
had tormented him for so long. Maybe he would understand that woman better this way, and
maybe that would help him deal with the issues he himself had.
Reading the book wasn't as hard as he thought it would be. He had mentally prepared himself a lot
for it.
He read through the first few chapters and came to the conclusion that Lee Sookyung was a great
writer and had a way with words. Also, the whole story was greatly dramatised, no wonder it had
created such a stir in the nation.
It was probably for the royalties. A book that created sympathy for the writer, for the murderer,
and the dramatisation made it a best-seller for a while. Almost everyone had at least heard of the
story's gist at one point in time.
Kim Dokja would know. When his mother was behind bars, he was out in the real world,
experiencing the effects a single story could have. That was probably the point at which the
meaning of story had changed for him. Stories were no longer just entertainment for him, now that
he knew the impact they could have. He had never looked at a story the same after that.
That didn't mean he liked the book though. It was written from the woman's point of view, but
there were way too many scenes that involved the son.
Kim Dokja had to grit his teeth as he read those. He could feel the mother's desperation, so much
that it brought out all the emotions he thought he had left long ago. At points, he would have to put
the book down, close his eyes lest tears fall, and take deep breaths before he calmed down enough
to start reading again.
Perhaps things like those just don't go away. He still felt dregs of what he had felt when he still
used to go visit that woman at the prison, a transparent wall between them and a deafening silence
filled with his desolate struggle to feel the slightest bit of love.
He was bound to, he reasoned. This was a story he couldn't read from an outsider's perspective no
matter how hard he tried. This was a story where he was not a reader, but a character. There was
no way he wouldn't be affected by this story.
Everything had been fine, until he reached the few chapters before the much-awaited climax.
As he read those greatly exaggerated words, memories flooded into his mind. Memories of blood,
of a glinting knife, of screams and those words he had heard countless times in his nightmares, that
he was a victim, to never forget that.
Kim Dokja was aware that his hands were shaking as he read the book to the end.
When he closed his copy of the 'Underground Killer', he thought it would be a very entertaining
joke to go and get that woman's autograph on it.
Kim Dokja pushed himself off the seat he was sitting on and went to wash his face, tired. As he
stared at the mirror in the bathroom, he was confused. He was crying? When did he start crying?
He thought he had held it in pretty well.
Guess, it was bound to happen. He knew better now.
Sleep never came easy to him, he knew that, but today it was much harder than it had been in a
long time. He was forced to fill in the log on his laptop and took a pill to lull him to sleep.
The next day was just as bad as the previous one. He decided to channel his energy into something
more productive, like work, or reading a few new web novels that he had been wanting to read.
Han Sooyoung's constant pestering had him expand the genres he read. Even though adventure
fantasy still reigned as his favourite, he read all sorts now. Romance, drama, sports, comedy,
thriller, slice of life, everything.
By the third day, sleep deprivation caught him by the feet and yanked him hard. Kim Dokja
succumbed to a disturbed sleep the second his head hit the pillow.
Nightmares he hadn't had in years came back to haunt him.
Clearly, he hadn't gotten over it. He might have been brave enough to read through the words that
caused him to live a horrible life, but that was not enough to rewatch, relive those memories in his
head. Even if they were just memories in a dream.
"Dokja, get in here. Understood? Don't come out until Mother says you can."
"From now on, I will read all of this again."
"Your father did something wrong and died. This was self-defence. Understood?"
"No matter what, you must not forget that you are the victim."
His parents were very worried seeing his countenance, and even though he told them he was fine,
every time he looked at himself in the mirror, he would grimace too.
His appetite had never been all that great, so he saw nothing wrong with skipping a few meals. He
was never an outdoor person either. Even he had his days when reading felt a bit too heavy for his
dull brain.
It was the final straw when he saw the quality of his work dropping drastically, Kim Dokja decided
to contact his old therapist and talk about this. He was suggested to take sleeping pills and get a
good night's sleep first.
The next suggestion was to write down the dreams he saw. Kim Dokja thought that was pretty
reasonable, it made it easy to chart out what had happened, what he was seeing, what kept
repeating, and what changed.
And he did so.
He opened a Word document and began jotting down the things that he saw in his dreams as much
as he could. He was never a writer, he wasn't sure how to properly convey a lot of things,
especially his feelings. The way how he felt while he was in those dreams was criminally
unexplained and only used a couple of words, with no actual description. But he trudged on.
Then his dreams changed.
They started getting worse.
Not a single night was he able to rest, not a single night were his dreams not drenched in blood.
It was a story he had seen countless times, but it was changing one bit at a time.
He wrote them down diligently in the document he kept emailing his therapist as asked.
"Dokja-yah, is something wrong?" Persephone's voice startled him while he was forcing himself to
have breakfast.
"Ah, yes!" he shook himself out of his daze. "Just. . .A lot on my mind at the moment."
His parents were not convinced.
"Son,"
Kim Dokja jumped again, making Hades' expression grow colder. From experience, Kim Dokja
knew that this wasn't an expression of hatred, and that the man was just worried.
But he flinched anyway.
He hadn't known fatherly affection and warmth before Hades entered his life. He was utterly
disgusted at himself when he reacted that way. How could he even dare to see a shadow of that
abusive bastard in his father's face?
"Dokja," Persephone said, getting his attention. "What do you say to going back home? To Greece?
Do you want to stay longer here, or shall we go back now?"
"It's up to you, Mother," Kim Dokja said. "I am fine with anything."
Persephone pursed her lips, displeased or worried, Kim Dokja couldn't tell. Perhaps it was both.
"Do you," Hades started slowly. "Want to get new tattoos?"
Kim Dokja stared at him. Was that his way of asking if Kim Dokja had been doing that again?
"I haven't done that in a long time," he said. "Don't worry, Father."
Hades' expression didn't change and Kim Dokja wasn't sure what to do about it. What did they
think was wrong with him? He was just sleep deprived and that was affecting his daily life.
It was dark again.
"Dokja, get in here. Understood? Don't come out until Mother says you can."
The closet was dark. Yeah, that's what it was. There was a crack through the doors that he never
remembered closing properly.
The scene changed.

Closet? Had he been hiding in the closet?
He was in a room now.
Right, hadn't he always been hiding in a room? Why did it suddenly change into a tiny closet?
"Bring more alcohol!"
His father's voice boomed throughout the house, and his mouth clamped shut when the man
pushed his mother and hit her in the stomach.
He was trembling.
Father had a knife. His figure was much too large and threatening.
"Y-you! Put the knife down, please, I'm begging you," his mother's horrified gasping voice sounded
next.
. . .Did that always happen?
That wasn't how he remembered it though.
Something changed again. His mother looked just as pitiful, but there was a strange sort of
desperation flashing in her eyes. He had never seen that before.
"Y-you! Put that knife down and we can talk!"
Yeah, that sounded more like the mother he knew.
His body moved. The little boy hiding in the dark room, stuck his head out, terrified at the
appearance of a knife. Not because the knife itself was terrifying, but because he was aware of the
damage that object could do to the one stuck under the threatening giant.
"Dokja!" his mother yelled. "I told you to stay in your room!"
Right, he had always been a very obedient child. He was just scared. At the moment, fear was the
only thing coursing through his veins, fear that clouded all other judgement.
The knife moved through the air and his mother looking just as terrified as him ran towards him.
"You will die and I will die as well," the giant was saying. "Ey? Should we all die? Aren't we
fucked up living together like this? HUH? Then let's die together!"
He couldn't move, his mother could.
Mother moved faster than he could comprehend. The knife fell with a clatter onto the floor and the
giant was no longer standing. That man was lying on the floor, a wine bottle rolling around,
alcohol spilling from it.
A scene that should have been familiar changed again.
The knife was closer. So much closer than he had ever seen it before.
It was in his hands and his mouth that had been shut opened, a squeaky scream erupting from his
throat.
"Dokja, no!" Mother was screaming. "Put that thing down! Dokja!"
The man stood up again and was a colossal being again. He was grinning down menacingly at
him, laughing mockingly. His fist swung through the air, but it never collided with his body or his
mother as it had always done.
His foot caught on the glass bottle on the floor. It rolled at the sudden force, he came crashing
down along with it.
Blood was on his hands. His father's face looked grotesque, blood spraying from his mouth.
What? What was this?
No, this isn't how the scene went! He knew that. The story had changed, this was wrong. This was
not how the story went!
Mother was before him again. He realised he hadn't been shaking until she caught his tiny
shoulders and shook him awake gently.
"Dokja," he felt tears pool in his eyes at the gentle call of his name.
"From now on, I will read all of this again."
He knew all of this.
"Your father did something wrong and died. This was self-defence. Understood?"
He was familiar with this.
"No matter what, you must not forget that you are the victim."
What was that before?
Mother?
Why wasn't it ending?
Why was he still standing? Why was she taking the knife from his hands?
The knife wasn't bloody. It should be bloody! Where had all the blood gone? Why is it gone?
He could still see blood on his hands, on his clothes. Why was the knife. . .Where was the knife?
Mom?
She was still in front of him.
The blood was washed off his hands, he was sent back into the room that seemed dark as the abyss
to a child. Mother didn't stop.
The scene was changing, but she was the one actively changing the scene now.
"Dokja, f rom now on, I will read all of this again."
"Dokja, f rom now on, I will read all of this again."
"Dokja, from now on, I will read all of this again."

Kim Dokja woke up gasping for air.
He stumbled to his feet, and headed towards the nearest door he could see with his clouded, dizzy
vision. His head was throbbing madly.
It took him a while to realise that he had collapsed to the floor on his way out of his. . .What was
that room? His vision swirled again and he felt nauseous.
His—that was the room he worked in. Right, he had been using the spare room that they all used
when they had some important work to do. He was not back in the tiny house with musty walls that
perpetually reeked of alcohol.
What was that? What was that dream?!
Kim Dokja heaved himself to his feet. With his feet that felt like lead, he dragged himself to the
bathroom. He had barely grabbed the sink with his hands, before his knees gave way. If it weren't
for his vice-like grip on the pristine marble sink, he would have fallen head-first onto the bathroom
floor.
He retched and the contents of the meagre dinner he had a few hours earlier spilt out.
His vision was swimming. He could see spots of blood everywhere, he thought he could smell it as
well.
If he closed his eyes, he could still see the faded figure of his mother, younger, more tired, moving
around the house, manipulating the evidence of the scene.
The scene of an accident became that of a murder. She became the murderer for him.
He gagged again, vomiting into the sink.
He felt someone grab his arms, someone's hands stroking his back. Someone was saying
something.
He was offered a glass of water, he took it. He tried swallowing it, but spit it out. It tasted vulgar.
"Wash your mouth, sweetheart."
He knew that voice.
"Mother," he rasped out. He gulped and followed her instructions. He cupped his hands, letting the
water from the open tap collect into his hands and then brought it to his mouth. He spit it out and
repeated the process a few times.
The foul taste in his mouth didn't leave, even after he was sitting on his bed, in his room, drinking a
glass of warm water.
"Son, are you feeling alright?"
"We should call the doctor. He's— Dokja!"

"Son?"
"Dokja, why—Dokja, tell mother what is wrong. Don't cry, my darling son."
He wasn't crying though. He was thinking. What were they talking about?
He found himself trapped within their warm embrace.
He was still thinking. He was still dreaming, perhaps.
The scene hadn't stopped playing in his head. He hadn't stopped seeing it happen over and over
again.
He had to—He. . .He had to read that book again. He had to read his mother's book.
He blinked.
"I'm alright, mother, father," Kim Dokja managed to say. "I just had a. . ."
Nightmare? But it didn't seem like one though.
He had a splitting headache. He had to write the dream down at least! Before his brain made him
forget again.
"A bad dream?" Persephone asked softly, her hands wiping the tears off his face. Kim Dokja
nodded weakly.
"A very bad dream," he breathed.
"Everything is alright," Hades' voice said from above. If Kim Dokja had the energy, he would have
looked up at him. "Everything will be alright."
"Father," he settled instead of trying to nod. He couldn't see them properly, his headache was
making it very hard for him to stay conscious.
"I—I need to—" he wiggled out of his mother's grasp and staggered to his feet.
"Dokja! You need to lie down," his mother was saying as he went to get his laptop. He didn't find
it, so he grabbed the nearest pen and a surface to write on, it just happened to be a newspaper.
"The doctor. . ."
Mother's voice started fading away as he scribbled away frantically at the newspaper. He wasn't
aware if they would be legible when he was in a bit more stable state of mind, but he had to get it
down somewhere before he forgot.
His shaking hands could do only so much before his fingers slipped on the smooth surface of the
pen which fell onto the floor. Kim Dokja's world spun when he looked after the pen quickly. Then
he fell unconscious.
When he woke up, he was staring at his bedroom ceiling.

The doctor was brought into his room when his father who had been sitting by his bed noticed that
he was awake. A while later, his mother rushed in as well, looking very worried.
He was always worrying them, Kim Dokja thought dully.
As the doctor examined him, he took his time to gather his thought and make sense of this whole
situation.
He seemed fine was what the doctor had said. Physically, he had a few bruises on his body when
he fell a couple of times at odd angles, but generally speaking, he was fine.
Kim Dokja didn't feel fine at all. He felt sick.
Once the doctor was gone and he was left with only his parents in the room, hovering over him,
concerned, he asked them if he could get the thing he had tried writing on.
And the copy of his mother's book.
Persephone froze when she heard this.
Kim Dokja figured that this meant she had some inkling of what was going on. He thought he
would feel betrayed, but he didn't.
He would have liked some privacy, but his parents were still in the room as he squinted at the
horrible, barely legible words he had scrawled onto the newspaper last night. He had used a black
pen that blended in nicely with the ink on the printed paper.
He managed to decipher it though. It was a struggle, but he managed it.
He still had a headache as he read through his mother's book, flipping through the pages, reading
particular excerpts more carefully than the others until everything started making sense in his
head.
Kim Dokja wasn't sure who had closed the book sitting on his lap, but someone had.
His mother, Persephone was sitting beside him on his bed, stroking his hair, his head on her chest.
He could feel his father, Hades' hand on his knee as well.
Persephone was saying something, Kim Dokja wasn't in the right state of mind to comprehend.
It was never a murder. It was an accident made to save him from being the one who had committed
manslaughter. To save the child who had lost his mind at the frightening scene that had occurred in
front of his eyes.
It had scared him out of his wits for a moment, and before he could make sense of things, his
mother had swooped in and fed him a story to make him forget. So that he wouldn't have to torment
himself with those memories.
True, it had worked. Kim Dokja had never thought of those memories in his life.
In his head, they had never existed until now.
His mother's story, the words she had told him, all said, she was the murderer who killed his
abusive father out of self-defence.
But that's not what happened at all.
"Did—" Kim Dokja choked out. "Did you know what my mother did?"
There was silence for a while. He wasn't sure if it was a long time or a very short span of seconds.
"Yes," Persephone answered.
"Not the one in. . ." Kim Dokja trailed away, a weak hand coming to rest on the cover of the
'Underground Killer'. "The real one."
Silence again. He wasn't sure if he was actually imagining the silences as well. Maybe he had just
dreamt of a ridiculous story from the start. It could always have been just a dream stemming from
the guilt he felt towards the pitiful woman whom the story was written about.
"We did," Persephone said finally. Her voice was very quiet.
"Did you know that I—she—" Kim Dokja's words kept dying down in his throat before they could
touch his tongue and he could push it out.
"That. . .She, you know—I. . ."
Kim Dokja took in a shuddering breath.
"I killed him," he said finally. "Accidentally. Manslaughter. . .My mother took the blame. Made it a
murder and. . .and. . ."
Kim Dokja was smothered in hugs again.
He did not want hugs though. He would have liked answers better. He wanted to confirm if those
had been his memories or if he had just conjured up a fancy little story in his head because his
brain had decided that he didn't suffer enough in this life.
Then Persephone said that she was sorry.
"Yes or no," Kim Dokja pressed. He needed to know. With absolute certainty.
Persephone seemed unable to answer him, so Hades took over and said, "Yes."
"Thank you," the words were out of Kim Dokja's mouth the next second. He had no reason to
hesitate.
He got the answer he was looking for.
His parents seemed baffled at his reaction, so Kim Dokja smiled.
"I'm glad to know the truth," he muttered. He was glad to know that he wasn't going insane.
"Are you not angry at us, son?" Persephone sounded very anxious. "For keeping you in the dark all
this time?"
"Did—Did that. . .my mother ask you to do that?" Kim Dokja asked. "I think she did."
Their silence was enough of an answer.
"I think I understand a bit better now," he breathed, his eyelids getting heavier by the second. "I'm
not angry. I could never be. You've done nothing. . ." but love him. That's all they did. They had all
only loved him.
"...wrong," he sufficed with saying. "Thank you."
Kim Dokja fell asleep slowly, in his mother, Persephone's arms, her hands stroking his hair as he
slowly drifted off into a dreamless sleep.
When he woke up the next time, he informed them that he was going to a friend's place and that he
needed some time for himself.
They let him go, as all other times he had asked, they let him do as he wished.
They were strange parents, never strict with him. They could be if they wanted, they could have
made him do so much if they wanted to, but they never did. Why didn't they? It would have made
things so much easier.
"What the fuck? Why're you calling?" Han Sooyoung said once she picked up the call.
"Can I crash at your place for a bit?" Kim Dokja asked.
Han Sooyoung let out a sigh.
"You know the passcode," she said. "I've got work so I'll be back late. And don't you dare eat my
candy! If even one is missing, I'll skin you alive and make a leather bag out of it."
Kim Dokja smiled weakly and headed towards Han Sooyoung's place.
Chapter 24
Kim Dokja was there when Han Sooyoung returned in the evening. She was surprised at the little
duffle bag he had brought along with him.
"You're staying for a while?" she said and Kim Dokja nodded.
"What happened?" she said, taking off her jacket and placing it in a crumpled heap on top of the
wooden shoe rack.
"Love trouble again? Did you send some thirst text to Yoo Joonghyuk on Twitter? And he blocked
you?" Han Sooyoung was walking around the house, putting her bag on the floor beside the sofa,
pulling off her socks and chucking them in the washing machine's direction and other everyday
things.
Kim Dokja's eyes followed her but he wasn't really seeing anything.
"Or is it that new guy you told me about? Back in the army. Lee something," she said. She looked
at Kim Dokja again, who was unresponsive.
"Did you fight with your parents? Did they disown you?"
Han Sooyoung continued her questioning for a few more minutes before she gave up. Kim Dokja
wasn't listening to her at all. It was honestly, a bit alarming, but at least he wasn't having a panic
attack. He just seemed lost in thought.
Kim Dokja stayed with her for a week or so. He stayed in the spare room they had cleaned up for
him. He stayed there for most of the time and he lived like the dead. Sometimes, he was so quiet
that if it weren't for the other pair of sneakers in the shoe rack, Han Sooyoung would have
forgotten that he was there.
She tried forcing him to cook, do the laundry, move around, and do anything. Kim Dokja did things
only if she insisted hard enough. He had even stopped reading. He wasn't doing anything all day,
but sleep or staring at the ceiling or walls in his room.
One day, when she returned, Kim Dokja was moving around. It was a pleasant surprise.
"You're cooking. What's it?" she asked, performing her usual ritualistic dance of stripping herself of
her jacket, shoes and socks, depositing her bag, taking her laptop out and plugging it in to charge.
Han Sooyoung was surprised at the spread before her when she finally made it to the dining table.
Something was still sizzling in the pan on the stove Kim Dokja was manning.
"I've always wanted to try cooking Western style," he said.
"Any Greek specialities?" Han Sooyoung said, finding a fork and stabbing it into a bowl with what
looked like roasted potatoes.
"No, it's just random things I found on the internet," Kim Dokja said. "It's a mix of everything...I
think I might have sort of emptied the pantry though. I'll buy stuff tomorrow."
Han Sooyoung wiggled her shoulder in a little dance as she put the potato in her mouth.
"It has cheese!" she giggled. "Wah, Kim Dokja, cook for me every day, you bastard. You can stay
here forever."
"What about your boyfriend?" Kim Dokja asked.
"That asshole?" Han Sooyoung scoffed, moving on to taste another dish. "We broke up ages ago."
"Why?" Kim Dokja said, taken aback by the news.
"What do you mean why?" Han Sooyoung said. "He was a pussy, I broke up with him. He was
saying bullshit about how I was waiting for you to return from military service and I said, yeah, I'm
waiting for my friend to come back from service and not die in an impromptu war, what's wrong
with that?"
"And he got pissed?"
"And he got pissed," she nodded. "Threw a huge mess right in front of our department hall. So I
broke up with him."
"Did you key his car or trash his house or something?" Kim Dokja asked.
"Nah," Han Sooyoung shook her head, now tasting the carbonara he had made.
"That's strange," Kim Dokja raised his eyebrows. "That's not like you at all. How did you get your
revenge?"
"Ah, that," Han Sooyoung said, now at his shoulder, looking around him at what he was making. "I
snuck into men's washrooms here and there across the city and wrote his number down and said
'Send dick pics'. From what I heard, he's having a tough time getting spammed by dick pics from
randos."
Both of them sniggered.
"Since when have you been doing this?" she asked. "Did you actually order all of this and are just
putting on a show to prank me?"
"I didn't," Kim Dokja said indignantly. "I would have bought better shit if I was doing that. And I
would have bought a lot more dishes, a full five-course meal, with starter, appetizer, dessert and all
that."
"This is not one?"
"How is this one?"
"Fucking rich people," Han Sooyoung grumbled. "I was my steak nicely done."
"What is that even supposed to mean?"
"I will punch you. I swear to god, I will punch you right in your ugly face."
They finally sat down to eat and Kim Dokja who was tired after his cooking adventures ordered ice
cream for delivery online as dessert.
"Ehh, ruining the vibe," Han Sooyoung had said, but she seemed quite happy with the special
dinner that day.
Halfway through their meal, Kim Dokja got a call that made him get up from his seat and rush
back to the kitchen. He packed up the remaining food he had made into boxes neatly and put them
in a huge bag.
"Where're you taking them?" Han Sooyoung cried. "I was planning on eating that for the next
week."
"They'll all get spoilt by then, what the hell?" Kim Dokja scoffed. "I'm sending this to my parents.
Their driver's just come to pick it up."
"Your parents?"
"Yeah, they've never tasted my cooking. I've never cooked for them," Kim Dokja said, putting his
shoes on, as Han Sooyoung waited by the kitchen entrance, watching him. "Since you've tried and
are still alive, I can confidently send it to them."
"Hah?! What am I? A lab rat?" Han Sooyoung snapped.
"Yeah," Kim Dokja said simply and slipped out of the house before Han Sooyoung could curse at
him some more.
When Kim Dokja made a similar big breakfast, just Korean style this time, Han Sooyoung felt the
need to check if he had a fever.
"You've got cancer, haven't you?" she said, making Kim Dokja look up from the bowl he was
stuffing rice into. "Last stage, you're dying."
"What the fuck are you talking about?" Kim Dokja said, confused. "Shut up and eat, you
plagiarist."
"You!"
They ate breakfast together as well.
"Are you going to tell me why you're here?" Han Sooyoung said finally, her spoon scraping the last
bits of soup from her bowl.
"I could only trust you to come to," Kim Dokja said, making Han Sooyoung frown.
"Yeah, I figured that bit," she said, putting her spoon down. "What exactly is the issue is what I'm
asking? What are you running from now?"
"I wonder," Kim Dokja said vaguely, picking up a braised quail egg and putting it into his mouth.
"Did you fight with your parents? Was that a sorry bento thing you sent yesterday?" Han Sooyoung
said. "You're too shy to actually go see them or something?"
"What are you even saying?" Kim Dokja laughed. "I just needed some time to think."
"And?" Han Sooyoung was relentless.
Kim Dokja sighed softly. "And," he said. "I really could only come to you. So here I am."
"Don't worry," he added airily. "You won't have to deal with me soon."
"You're going back?" she said. "This is your goodbye meal?"
Kim Dokja shrugged and Han Sooyoung sneered at him.
"For all the trouble you put me through, you should be cooking for me every day," she said,
continuing to finish her breakfast. "In fact, you should just become my servant."
"You don't even pay me for editing your manuscript," Kim Dokja told her.
"So?"
"Servants get paid."
"Slave then," she said nonchalantly.
"Slavery's illegal."
"Go fuck yourself, smart-ass," Han Sooyoung grumbled.
"Whatever you say, plagiarist," Kim Dokja huffed.
Something was wrong. Han Sooyoung could feel it in her bones when Kim Dokja waved her
goodbye at the door.
"Are you going today?" she said. "While I'm at work?"
"I think so," he nodded.
"When?" she asked.
"Not sure," Kim Dokja shrugged.
"How the fuck are you not sure?" she snapped. "Don't forget to lock the door when you leave,
okay?"
"Got it," Kim Dokja nodded. "Take care, Sooyoung-ah."
Han Sooyoung shot him a glare and walked away from the door, the image of Kim Dokja smiling
in her head as she went to work. Something was really wrong.
She had been uneasy before, but it didn't erupt into full-blown anxiety until the afternoon.
During her lunch break, she had, just to be sure, updated a dud chapter to her abandoned work,
Ways of Survival. Kim Dokja, no matter what nonsense it was, always read her updates first.
Especially if it was on Ways of Survival, even if it was just her trolling him. The bastard would
open the chapter, read it, comment on it and even leave it a like for whatever reason.
She waited until the evening and Kim Dokja had still not opened the chapter. The view count for
that chapter was still zero.
Something was wrong. Kim Dokja had been acting very weirdly for days now.
She left work early and rushed home.
The door was locked as she had asked him to lock it. The house was dark, no lights on.
Did he leave?
No, his shoes were still here.
Where was the idiot then?
"Kim Dokja!" Han Sooyoung called, kicking off her shoes at the entrance and hurrying inside.
"Hey! Kim Dokja, you fucker! Where're you? Pooping? You didn't fall in did you?"
She scanned the house and made sure he wasn't there. Even the bathroom was empty. Only one
place left, his room.
"Yo, Kim Dokja," she said sliding her bag off her shoulder and knocking on his door. "Why didn't
you read my new chapter? It's been hours since I updated."
There was no response from inside the room.
"If you brought a guy home, and are fucking, I swear to god, I'll kill both of you," Han Sooyoung
threatened. "I'm coming in!"
Han Sooyoung had never been more glad that the lock to this tiny room had jammed almost a year
ago and that she hadn't ever bothered fixing it.
Kim Dokja was lying on the bed in the darkroom when she entered.
"Are you sleeping?" she said, relieved that she did not have to run into two naked men getting it on.
She would have walked out of the room, swearing at Kim Dokja at this point, but she didn't. It was
a testament to how well she knew the guy.
Kim Dokja never slept at this time of the day. It was still too early.
And he was a light sleeper. He would have woken up in seconds with all the noise she had made
entering the house.
She knew he took sleeping pills and that the bottle sitting on the desk a few feet away from the
room should be a sign that he had probably taken a pill.
But. . .she always had a strange intuition thing going on and she trusted it often. . .Where was the
glass of water he usually had? And where's his laptop? Kim Dokja was a meticulous bastard who
hated having to take pills so would do so rarely and every time he did, he would note it down on a
log he had made on his laptop.
Han Sooyoung ran towards the bed, her toe stubbing itself at the edge of the bed. She paid no
attention to that.
Kim Dokja's eyes were slightly open, just the tiniest fraction. She couldn't be sure if he was
breathing, so she drew close.
He was. He was breathing.
"Kim Dokja," she said, trying to shake him awake. "Kim Dokja, dumbass?"
She gave him a harsh slap across his face. She had done so in her panic. The plastic bottle sitting
on the desk was looking oddly sinister and she did not want to think about that.
So she gave a few more slaps to Kim Dokja's face, trying to wake him up. His cheeks had started
turning red, and he was still not responding.
"Motherfucker," a ragged breath left her lips as she threw herself at the desk and shook the bottle.
She could never be sure how many pills had actually been in the bottle, but she thought it felt light.
"Kim Dokja, you bastard!" She ran back to the man sleeping, no, lying on the bed. Her hand was
shaking as she pulled her phone out, dialling a number she had thought she would never need to
dial.
"Kim Dokja! What have you done?!" she screamed, his fist closing around the fabric of his shirt,
shaking him. "Kim Dokja! Don't tell me—Dokja, I swear—Kim Dokja!"
He was wearing all white, the bastard. He always wore fucking white.
"Hello," she vaguely heard from the other side of the phone she was holding and she turned her
attention towards the voice there.
"Hello?" she gasped, realising that she was crying. "There's—My friend—He's overdosed on
sleeping pills—I think—He's...He's dying."
Right. Kim Dokja was dying.
All that bullshit he had been doing for the past days, he had been thinking of killing himself.
Han Sooyoung experienced a panic attack for the first time.
It was a shitty experience.
The person on the other end tried to get her to calm down and give her the address. How she
managed that was beyond her, but she did.
The ambulance was there with its loud, annoying siren and as she sat in it, besides Kim Dokja on a
stretcher, the people in uniform doing the emergency procedures to keep him alive until they
reached the hospital, Han Sooyoung prayed to all the gods there that every single motherfucker
who refused to move for the ambulance or moved out of the way too late would get doomed for
life.
She was in her socks, clutching two phones as she waited outside the doors Kim Dokja had been
taken to a while ago.
She was still crying. Fuck, she was still crying and shaking all over.
Someone had put a blanket over her and given her some slippers. Then they made her sit in a metal
chair and asked her a few questions.
Most of her answers were, "I don't know" or "I'm not sure" and she hated that.
"Do you know any other guardians your friend might have?"
"He—His parents are in town," Han Sooyoung gasped.
"Can we have their contact number then?"
She didn't have their contact number. She didn't even know what his parents' names were. What
did she even know about Kim Dokja?
She started hyperventilating and had to be calmed down again.
She knew Kim Dokja. She knew him. He was her friend. She refused to believe anything else. She
knew that fucking rat bastard and she knew him well.
She knew him well enough to know that he hated tomatoes. She knew him well enough to know
that he liked to curl up under blankets and go to sleep in a tiny bed. She knew him well enough to
know that he had fucking overdosed.
If she knew all that, she also knew him well enough to be able to unlock his phone, unearth his
parents' phone numbers and call them here because their son was an asshole who liked scaring her
shitless.
Of course, that idiot's password would be his stupid birthday. 1502. The only reason she knew his
birthday was because it was on his Facebook and she got notifications for it every year. That idiot
had never told her about it, and they had never celebrated his birthday either.
God, she had never celebrated Kim Dokja's birthday! They had been friends for years now, why
had they never celebrated each other's birthdays?!
The nurse was at her side again, and she pulled up the contact list on Kim Dokja's phone.
Bastard still had everything in English.
But she could read English. She just had to focus a bit.
His parents were foreigners. Persephone (Mother). Woman's name, mother in brackets. What kind
of dumbass nerd was he?
She called them.
The line went through and the other person picked up.
"Hello," a woman said in English and she managed to blurt out a Korean "Hello", hoping that the
other person could speak, or at least understand Korean.
"Ah, yes, hello?" the woman said, in Korean now. "Why do you have my son's phone? Is he
alright?"
Han Sooyoung opened her mouth, but all that came out was a sob.
The nurse had to take the phone away from her and explain it to the person on the other end as
some other woman hugged Han Sooyoung from the side and stroked her back.
Han Sooyoung was scared.
She thought she had felt fear. She was wrong.
She thought she had felt fear when she was a kid and had to hide from thunder all by herself. Or
that time when she was waiting for her CSAT results, knowing that she hadn't done as well as she
had wanted to. Or that time when she almost got hit by a bus a few years ago.
She was wrong.
She felt bone-crushing fear right now. She was scared that Kim Dokja would die. That she would
have ended up being too late and he was already too far gone to bring back.
Why? Why?!
All the signs had been there, so why the fuck didn't she notice it earlier?
Was work so important? That shitty job? Why did she have to go that morning? Kim Dokja had
been acting weird from the start. Kim Dokja never acts like that unless there was something
seriously wrong.
At least, last time he had cried everything out.
This time she hadn't even bothered him enough to get answers out.
And he had been acting weird. All that cooking and all.
Kim Dokja never cooked. He could, but he was too lazy and didn't like doing it in particular. He
only did it if she forced him to. Yet, he had done it all of his own accord.
She had been right.
It was his goodbye meal.
The bastard!
He said she wouldn't have to deal with him for much longer. Why didn't she ask him what the fuck
he had meant by that?! Why didn't she annoy him just a bit more until he cracked? She usually did
that so why did she give up so soon this time?
"Take care, Sooyoung-ah."
Take care? Take care?!
Please, don't let her have been late.
She was an atheist, but she was willing to believe in any damned gods, even the fictional ones, just
please don't let her have been late.
Please, just let Kim Dokja live. Just don't let him die.
She had started a whispered chant, her hands clasped in front of her as she sat hunched over, tears
streaming down her face. "Please, please, please. Kim Dokja, please. I'll even write Ways of
Survival for you, so please."
Han Sooyoung was lifted to her feet by a gorgeous foreign woman who was shaking her by her
shoulders. Her face was contorted in worry, tears in her eyes.
"Kim Dokja's mother?" Han Sooyoung managed to say and the lady nodded quickly.
"His friend?" the lady said and it was Han Sooyoung's turn to nod.
"What happened?" the lady asked and Han Sooyoung gave a very broken, clearly confusing
summary of all that had happened, bursting into sobs halfway along with the woman and soon they
were hugging each other, crying.
Someone, Korean this time, came and took Han Sooyoung away from the woman and as she was
leaving, Han Sooyoung saw a stunningly handsome man with the woman. Kim Dokja's father?
The Korean woman who was leading her took her to a quiet corner of the hospital and got her a hot
cup of tea, asking her to relax and drink it.
Han Sooyoung did so. A very smart choice.
It had been early in the evening when she had found Kim Dokja. Now the sun was rising into a
new day.
Only around eight in the morning did she get any kind of news.
When they told her that Kim Dokja had lived, Han Sooyoung sank to the floor, sobbing in relief.
She met Kim Dokja's adoptive parents again, who thanked her over and over again for finding Kim
Dokja just in time. She was thanking her strange sixth sense just as vehemently in her brain too.
She apologised to them for not seeing the signs earlier and they waved it away. Then they called
some guy to take her to a fancy hotel room near the hospital so that she could sleep.
And sleep Han Sooyoung did.
Kim Dokja was alive.
When that bastard woke up, she was going to beat the ever-loving shit out of him.
Why?
What went wrong this time?

A third attempt failed...Well, the second one was accidental, but he wouldn't have complained.
He had lived a bit too long. Twenty-six years were enough. It was probably twenty-six too many.
Why was the universe hell-bent on keeping him alive when all he wanted was to die? Was that too
much to ask for?
Happiness was too much to ask for. Death was too much to ask for. If so, what could he ask for?
Was he not supposed to ask at all? Was that it?
He got things he didn't ask for all the time. Why?
He was willing to exchange all of them for the sweet relief of death.
The worst part of his attempts to send himself to the afterlife was that when he failed, he had to
face consequences.
He hated consequences. He wished he could just stay in a place with no one and do nothing but
stay there, reading, preferably.
But, no, real life had consequences. Every time he did something, it had consequences. He really
hated consequences.
Right now, his parents were probably outside and would come barging in soon.
He wished they wouldn't. He wished they would send a lawyer instead to tell him that they were
kicking him out now. That they had enough of his antics and wanted rid of him.
He would leave without a single complaint.
Han Sooyoung. She was probably there. . .She was probably the one who found him. Why though?
He had timed it perfectly. Did she come home early?
His mother. Lee Sookyung. Had she ever heard about his desperate attempts that kept failing? He
hoped she didn't. That would be another sin he was committing against her.
He had hated her for so many years, thinking she had abandoned him, thinking he was facing the
world's greatest suffering, when it was all her. She had taken the heavier burden and let him hate
her just so that he could feel better about himself. She had suffered most of her life, having to
abandon her dream to take care of a child she had with a man who she had fallen out of love with.
Why did she have to love that cursed thing? Why did she have to love it enough to raise it and let it
live? Why couldn't she just have let him be branded the murderer? He was a child anyway, all he
would have to face were a few bad rumours about him being a psychopath.
People used to call him that anyway.
He would much rather be the murderer instead of a murderer's son.
She stayed locked in that prison cell for so long. She had locked away her life which she could
have lived happily if only she had abandoned him. He really wished she had.
He wished she would have hated him instead. Instead of writing a book so that no one would ever
dream of thinking that he had been the one to do it, instead of pretending she didn't care for him at
all so that he would hate her and find happiness elsewhere, instead of. . .instead of loving this foul
thing that he was, he wished she had hated him instead.
Why was he so stupid that he didn't notice it at all?

Mother wasn't that great of an actor, he had just been too stupid and preoccupied with himself to
notice.
He really was the worst.
He really wasn't made for love. They could pour and pour and pour but a broken vessel won't hold
no matter how much they tried.
He wished he were normal. He wished he wasn't, well, him.
Facing the people he loved after he had come around was the worst.
His parents were saddened again by what he had done. Han Sooyoung was crying. Why was his
master here? Did they call him as well?
He opened his mouth to apologize for everything he had done when Han Sooyoung came running
to him and clocked him hard on the head with her fist.
"You fucking bastard!" she bellowed. "What the fuck were you thinking? Were you thinking at all?
Did you develop a new kind of stupid or something?"
Kim Dokja stared up at her, his head throbbing where she had hit him.
Han Sooyoung in all her fury was a sight to see. She was breathing heavily, seething, her eyes
burning, her teeth bared.
"You could have talked to me. I was right fucking there. You could have cried your shitty feelings
out. And I would have cried with you," she was saying, slapping him on his back.
"Like last time. I would have fucking been there. I was right there!"
"Soo-Sooyoung," Kim Dokja muttered and he got hit again. Then Han Sooyoung threw herself
onto him, hugging him tightly.
"Motherfucker," she declared. "Fucking asshole. Shitty reader bastard. Ugly piece of shit. How
fucking dare you. How fucking dare you?! In my house. In my fucking house!"
"Do you think I'm some kind of heartless monster?" she cried. "I can't do it, you bastard. What the
fuck was that supposed to mean? Take care? Take care, you fucker?!"
"Why? Why am I the only one you could go to? To die?"
He was getting punched in his stomach now. Kim Dokja felt the pain, it was pretty bad even, he
just didn't feel like doing anything to stop it.
"You think I'm just going to let you die? In your dreams, bitch! I'll chase you down to hell and
back, you fucking asshole. Try that again, I dare you. Try that again and I swear you're becoming
my new leather bag. I'll even make candy out of your intestines, you bastard."
Han Sooyoung pulled away, chest heaving, her eyes red.
"Breathe, shitty bastard," she muttered, her fist meeting Kim Dokja's cheek. It wasn't a very hard
punch, but his head still moved with the force.
"Hah," he hadn't realized that he had been holding his breath. Since when? But when his lips
parted and air rushed out, allowing fresh air to enter, his chest felt lighter.
"Sorry," Kim Dokja muttered, reaching a hand out to wipe the tear tracks on Han Sooyoung's face.
Han Sooyoung only broke into fresh sobs, making him flustered. He thought she was done crying!
He brought the hand that was free of the IV plugged in to hug her back. When he saw drops of
water falling onto her purple hoodie, Kim Dokja realised that he was crying too.
Holding Han Sooyoung in his arms, he realised that she was small. He did tease her for being short
every now and then, and he did know that she was pretty slim, but he hadn't realised that she was
this small.
He had always seen Han Sooyoung as a force to be reckoned with. She still was, it is just that he
didn't think she would be so human, if that made sense. His writer suddenly seemed so greatly
human.
When Han Sooyoung broke off the hug, wiping her face and sniffing embarrassedly, she was still
cursing. Her potty mouth never changed, huh? Well, that was good. He didn't know what he would
do if it had.
She left the room saying that she had taken her privilege of being the first one to beat him up
because she was the one who found him in his state first and now that she was done, she was going
to wait outside.
His parents came next. And if he could, Kim Dokja would get down on his knees, bow his head
and beg for their forgiveness.
They still didn't abandon him.
"Why?" he said and he wished he hadn't because they looked like he had just slapped them. He
dropped his head quickly, vowing to keep his mouth shut from now on.
"You know why," Persephone said softly.
Kim Dokja bit his lip with such force that it bled.
"Because I'm your son?" he whimpered.
"Because you are our son," Hades repeated loudly.
"Our son is just so cute," Persephone gave a watery chuckle. "How can we ever let such a cute
baby go? What choice do we have but to keep you with us for a long, long time?"
Kim Dokja did not know what was wrong with these people who saw him as something worth
loving, but if he denied them that any longer, the worst kind of hell would be waiting for him when
he finally died.
His master hadn't done anything. He didn't hit him on the head or even scold him. Kyrgios just sat
on the chair next to his bed, staring at him, his azure hair in his usual ponytail.
"Master," Kim Dokja croaked out finally. "Do you own normal clothes?"
He got glared at for making a flimsy attempt at joking. Kim Dokja shut his mouth and bowed his
head.
"I understand," his master said a long time later.
Kim Dokja looked up.
"Welcome back, lazy disciple of mine," Kyrgios Rodgraim said. "Have you succeeded in your
goal? How was your journey to make peace with your origins?"
Kim Dokja's mouth fell open and he had to scramble to find his voice.
"Not good," he said honestly. "Shitty, really."
"You still use vulgar language," his master chided him.
"What makes language vulgar anyway?" Kim Dokja's voice was cracking with every other word he
uttered. "I just used the word that would help me describe it the best."
"You and that mouth of yours," his master exhaled sharply through his nose. "Tell me, what did
you discover on your journey?"
"Not sure," Kim Dokja said, honest again.
"Did you gain something or was it just a pointless endeavour?" his master asked.
"I'm not sure," Kim Dokja shrugged.
His master looked slightly annoyed. "Then know this, stupid disciple, no journey is ever pointless.
It is up to you to understand what it is that you've found. Luckily for you, you have time."
Then his glare intensified.
"Do not run away again," Kyrgios threatened. "If you do, I shall come to fetch you myself. And
brace yourself for even death won't be able to save you."
"Yes, master," Kim Dokja nodded obediently.
Kyrgios got off his chair and headed towards Kim Dokja's bed. Kim Dokja lowered his head,
bracing himself to get socked in the head as always.
He did. His master did pack a punch as usual.
Kim Dokja winced slightly and then his master placed his hand on his head, soft this time.
"Stupid disciple," he said. "Should I break your bones for you to realise? This is because you don't
train enough. Did you think you can escape your master if you stop contacting me and running
away? I am going to make a new regime for you to follow and you better follow it as it is until you
are old and wrinkly at the age of seventy."
Kim Dokja shuddered slightly.
"I don't think I'll live until I'm seventy, master," he said.
"If you follow my instructions, you will," his master said.
"Are you seventy, master?"
"You!"
Han Sooyoung was in his ward again. She slammed her laptop onto his thighs, pointed at the Word
document on it and said, "Read."
"Should I edit it?" Kim Dokja asked.
"No," she said, slapping his head lightly. "Just read."
Kim Dokja stared at her. She was fidgeting slightly, chewing her lips, furrowing her eyebrows and
looking everywhere but at him. If he looked closely, he thought he saw her blushing. She was
embarrassed.
"What did you even write?" he muttered. "I don't usually read explicit content, you know."
She hit him for that comment. "Stop saying rubbish, you idiot."
"You like stories," she said, huffing. "So I've written you a story. . .My story. Read it and if you
hate it, keep it to yourself, you bastard."
She hit him again and then stormed out of the room.
Kim Dokja read the story she had written for him.
It was in a medieval fantasy setting.
A story about a girl who was born to a high-ranking noble and a famous opera singer. The child
had been born out of wedlock, so she wasn't acknowledged by law. The girl was locked away in a
large mansion away from the capital and everyone else. She had a few servants, being a half-blood,
but she was not treated all that great. Her parents would visit her once in a blue moon and even so,
it was never out of love, perhaps it was a moral obligation or to just see if she had not died yet.
Then one day, in her lonely teen years, the girl found a magical book. Using the old storybooks she
had read as a child, she began writing of the world she had dreamt of seeing. Then she found out
that people could actually read her words.
She felt seen. Someone knew of her existence now.
She kept writing, but her writing wasn't enough. People who had liked her first said her story was
not good enough. Her story was too boring, too sad, too dreary. But wasn't life like that? Too
boring, too sad and too dreary? Why wouldn't they like something so similar to their lives?
Then she realised, people don't want to read about their lives. They preferred to read about
fairylands and magic and happiness. Even though she didn't want to write that, she wrote those
stories anyway. She didn't want her existence to fade again.
People liked her stories, stories that were like so many others. But at least they liked it.
Except for one person.
That was a strange person who seemed to like her sad, sad story that no one liked. What a weirdo.
The Reader kept telling her to write more of that sorry tale. The Reader was one annoying bastard
who never left her alone. But she could never really hate the Reader, because that person loved her
story more than anyone else. The Reader never abandoned the story she had wanted to write even
when everyone else had. Every bit of her story was loved so much by that person, every single
character, every single word she had written was loved by that person. So how could she ever hate
the Reader?
But she resented the idiot.
She wrote a better story, a story similar to the one the Reader liked, with all the good parts that
everyone seemed to like. No one abandoned this story. Everyone loved it.
Except for the Reader. The Reader complained and fought with her every time, saying that the
other pathetic story was better when it was clearly not.
Kim Dokja blinked.
Oh!
He had been so engrossed in the story, that it had hit him embarrassingly late that this was a story
about them. She did say it was her story. It should have been obvious when 'The Reader' had
blared out at him so many times.
But, hey, Han Sooyoung was really good at world-building, even if her dialogues could use some
improvement.
Right, she was the one who wrote both his most loved and most hated novels. The second novel
was actually fine, he just disliked it because it was plagiarized. Ways of Survival had been like
water being dumped over his head. It was nice, in a strange way. It was different from all the
others, it wasn't pleasant, it was even a bit rude. But it was refreshing.
He would ask her what she meant by fighting a lot about it when she came back. He didn't think
her parents were noble and a singer, so he would ask her to elaborate on that as well.
Making a mental note of the things he wanted to ask her and tell her about, he continued reading
the story. It was too short to be called a novel but too long to be called a short story. Well, it didn't
really need a label so he supposed it wouldn't matter.
It ended with the Writer meeting the Reader who was an existence that would die without stories,
so she promised to keep writing her stories for that person.
"Hey, you cried, didn't you?" Han Sooyoung was smirking when she returned. Kim Dokja thought
she looked very tired.
"What are you saying?" he said.
"You cried, don't lie to me," Han Sooyoung laughed, throwing herself into the chair next to his
bed. "Look at your face. I'm sure you cried."
"I didn't," Kim Dokja said. He himself wasn't sure if he had cried or not, he supposed he hadn't.
"Yeah, right," Han Sooyoung rolled her eyes.

"What do you mean by fighting?" Kim Dokja asked. "Did we meet before?"
"Are you hitting on me?" Han Sooyoung joked. "Did you fall in love with me after reading my
wonderful writing?"
Kim Dokja grimaced. "Do you want to get hit?" he said waspishly. "Just tell me, you plagiarist."
"How is it plagiarism?" Han Sooyoung cried. "It's literally my novel. I just wrote it better the
second time."
"Ways of Survival was better," Kim Dokja droned and Han Sooyoung threw him a dirty look.
"I get notified every time someone leaves a comment or a like on my works," Han Sooyoung said
finally. "The only reason I even open my old account."
"Tls123?" Kim Dokja prompted and Han Sooyoung scowled at him for interrupting her story.
"Shut up," she snapped. Then she inhaled and started again, "The only reason I open my old
account is because some idiot kept sending comments and liking every chapter, even if it was just
that one dumbass."
"How can you insult your one reader like that?" Kim Dokja said, placing his hand on his chest,
pretending to be very hurt.
"How can you hurt your writer like that then?" Han Sooyoung barked and Kim Dokja had to admit
that he had lost this fight.
Han Sooyoung huffed and swore under her breath.
"I was going to give up writing," she muttered, resting her head back on the chair and staring at the
ceiling. Kim Dokja followed her gaze and then looked down at her again.
"It really wasn't a good story no matter how much I read it. The writing style was shit, the
dialogues were cringey, the characters were undercooked little things," she said. "I really was
going to drop it and just focus on studies or something. But you'd always read the shitty story.
You'd read the story as soon as it was updated. I remember your account."
"The plot was good," Kim Dokja said. "Worldbuilding and setting is your plus point. Dialogues
could still use some work. About the grammar, you might as well be a five-year-old sometimes.
And you don't really know how to use metaphors properly."
"Hah?"
"You use too many metaphors at once like you've just remembered you can use them, and then
forget about it," Kim Dokja said. "But the narration is good. It even gives me the chills
sometimes."
"Why isn't SSSSS-grade Infinite Regressor like that then?" Han Sooyoung demanded.
"It's like all others there," Kim Dokja shrugged.
"Do you know that story is being praised as one-of-a-kind on the internet right now?" Han
Sooyoung said waspishly. "They call it the OP protagonist done right."
"Sure," Kim Dokja drawled. "That's probably because of all the good parts you took from Ways of
Survival."
"Ways of Survival is mine anyway. I can do whatever I want with it!" Han Sooyoung argued back.
"I didn't say you couldn't," Kim Dokja said with a sigh. "I just liked Ways of Survival better."
"Why?!"
"I just did. . .And it was the story you wanted to write."
". . .I'm still not writing it again," said Han Sooyoung. "SSSSS-grade Infinite Regressor is all you
are getting."
"That's fine," Kim Dokja nodded. "As long as I get to read the chapters first."
"Tch, who else will get to read the chapters first? You're my editor."
"And I'm still not getting paid."
"Shut the fuck up, you have enough money already. Prince of UW."
Kim Dokja stilled
"Why didn't you tell me?" Han Sooyoung smirked.
"It wasn't important," he said, expecting Han Sooyoung to snap back at him.
"Huh, I guess it wasn't," is what she said instead.
Then she sniggered.
"Heh...Prince of UW," she chortled. "You—Prince—Hahaha!"
Kim Dokja couldn't help but groan. "I didn't want to be called that!" he said indignantly. "They just
gave me that name."
Han Sooyoung only laughed harder.
"And what's with all the pictures on the internet?" she was wheezing. "With the suit and all! I can't
believe you. You dress just fine there, do you have a designer or something? It can't be you. Your
fashion sense is shit."
"What's wrong with my fashion sense?"
"What's not wrong with your fashion sense? You dress like an ahjussi!"
"What? I don't!"
"Whatever floats your boat, man."
It took a long while for Han Sooyoung to stop teasing Kim Dokja about his 'Prince of UW'
persona. She even pulled up pictures from the internet to laugh at him.
Kim Dokja found the courage to ask if she knew about the other story of his.
"Have you read that book then?" he asked. "Underground Killer?"
"Yeah," Han Sooyoung said.

"When? You should've been pretty young back then—"
"I read it yesterday," Han Sooyoung cut him off. "I wanted to know what the fuck happened to
you. And you won't tell me anything, so I read it."
When Kim Dokja didn't say anything, she asked, "Are you mad?"
He shook his head. "Not really," he said truthfully. "Kind of glad, actually. I don't think I would
have been able to tell you otherwise. I would have asked you to read the book myself."
"Did you read it recently?" Han Sooyoung asked. "Is that what. . ." She trailed off, unable to finish
the sentence, but Kim Dokja understood what she was trying to say anyway.
He gave a little nod.
"That story's not true, really," he said quietly, not looking Han Sooyoung in the eyes. "I did it, if
you get my drift. . .She just—Was trying to save me or whatever she thought she was doing."
He thought he saw Han Sooyoung reach out a hand towards him from the corner of his eye, but
nothing ever touched him, so he supposed he had imagined it.
"I found out only recently," he said. "I thought she had abandoned me. . .Have tons of issues
because of that. Completely gone up here, you know?" he pointed a finger at his head.
"Sort of feel that," Han Sooyoung muttered. She wasn't looking at him either. "My parents were
actually shit. Politician and an actress' affair. Can't really be proud parents and happy family, can
they?"
"So, they put me away, live as if you are dead is what they wanted to say. I said fuck you and left."
"Good for you," Kim Dokja said.
"Good for me," Han Sooyoung agreed.
Kim Dokja stared at his hands in the silence that followed, checking his nails, the skin that had
chipped away when he picked at them unconsciously.
"It's not your fault," he said quietly. "It wasn't because you didn't notice it before."
"What are you—?"
"It's happened before—This," he said. "It's the third. I've always been like this."
He forced himself to look at her. Han Sooyoung had tears in her eyes, but she wasn't crying just
yet.
"It's not your fault, Sooyoung-ah. I've just been like this from the start."
"It's not your fault either!" Han Sooyoung said, her lips trembling. She still wasn't crying.
"Who else is responsible for this then?" Kim Dokja said dully. "It was my choice, the only person
to blame is me."
"That's not how it works!" Han Sooyoung cried. "What kind of nonsense is that?"
"It was my choice," Kim Dokja said, uncharacteristically stern. "I made the conscious decision to
do it. Three times. It's my fault. Don't blame yourself."
"God, I hate you sometimes," Han Sooyoung said, getting up from her chair and punching Kim
Dokja hard in his arm, forcing out a pained gasp from him.
"You are a fucking bastard, you know that?"
"Sorry."
"Fuck you, man."
"Thank me for saving you," Han Sooyoung demanded.
"Thank you," Kim Dokja said without hesitating.
Han Sooyoung didn't seem to like it very much so she slapped him in the arm again, swearing.
Chapter 25
Chapter Notes
And I said, "I won't write 12chapters of KDJ POV"

You know, like a liar
Well, technically, it's just KDJ's story, there was one chapter entirely of HSY's
perspective and it was mixed in a few chapters, so, technically can it be called 12?
Kim Dokja was very surprised to see Dionysus on a video call.
"I would have come there myself," he said. "But things are busy here. There are people who are
waiting for you to die, you know? So many are excited here after hearing that you've got into an
accident that could have killed you."
It had been a while since Kim Dokja had actually seen Dionysus. He had spoken to him on the
phone sure, but not seen him. He still looked as he had done when he first met him. The man didn't
seem to have aged a day.
Then again, his parents were the same. So was his master. . .How old were these people actually?
"I don't think South Korea agrees with you, brother," Dionysus said. "You thrive everywhere else,
but the second you go there, something just happens."
"It's not that bad," Kim Dokja said defensively.
"Is that what you think?" said Dionysus. "I just think you'd do better elsewhere. Anywhere else
actually."
Kim Dokja considered it. Perhaps it was because he had way too many memories here, and most of
the memories didn't cause him extreme happiness either.
"I'm glad you are well, brother," Dionysus said seriously. "It would have been disastrous if you
popped your clogs now."
"That's a new expression," Kim Dokja noted.
"It means the same, really, kick the bucket, pop your clogs, pushing up daisies, it's all just 'die',"
Dionysus waved. "You really like learning new things, don't you?"
"It's always good to know more," Kim Dokja shrugged.
"Are you planning on being omniscient?" Dionysus laughed.
"I think it would be nice," Kim Dokja muttered. It would have been nice to know everything if it
meant not having to find things out gradually and making himself miserable over it.
"Will you be coming back?" Dionysus said, breaking Kim Dokja out of his reverie.
"Where?"
"Back in business, in general."
"What else would I be doing?" Kim Dokja said confused.
Dionysus heaved a sigh. "I don't know, brother," he said, swirling his flute with a sparkly pink
drink in it. "There are few who wish for you to never return. And there are few who think it is best
that you take some time off for yourself and don't return, because this is really not a place for the
fragile."
"You think I'm fragile?" Kim Dokja said, a sliver of incredulity in his voice.
"Yes," Dionysus said without missing a beat. He sniffed his drink, made a strange face and raised
it to his lips. "You're headstrong when needed, sure, but fragile anyway."
When Kim Dokja frowned, he said, "It's not a bad thing. . .But South Korea is not the place for
you."
"Then where is the place for me?" Kim Dokja said coldly. "Where do you think I should belong?"
"Anywhere," Dionysus shrugged. "I told you, anywhere but the place that makes you weak. There
are things in that place that make you unsettled. It takes away from your shine."
"What?"
"I've tasted better," Dionysus said putting his glass away with a grimace. "As I was saying, you are
considered a miracle at UW. Korea makes you fall from predator to prey."
"My suggestion to you, my friend," Dionysus said loudly when Kim Dokja opened his mouth
indignantly. "Is that you take some time away from that place. Try world domination. People seem
to like that idea."
"Why do you think I will like that idea?" Kim Dokja scoffed.
"Better you than anyone else," Dionysus said nonchalantly. "I think you'll be able to do it anyway.
It's all just a new adventure, brother. We are wanderers, wander we must."
"You are clearly drunk, go to bed, brother," Kim Dokja said testily and Dionysus laughed.
"I will wait for the day you take over the world," he said. "Friend," that word was said in perfect
Korean and Kim Dokja rolled his eyes.
Having moved from the hospital back to his house, where his parents could keep a close eye on
him, Kim Dokja had nothing to do but read the new chapters Han Sooyoung kept sending him.
She still wasn't writing Ways of Survival, but something about SSSSS-grade Infinite Regressor had
changed. It became better, even the public seemed to like it a lot. So Kim Dokja had to work hard
to edit it.
"Mother," he said looking up from the laptop balanced on his knees. "What was it that you talked
about that day?"
Persephone looked up from the oranges she was peeling.
"With my mother, you know," Kim Dokja said, watching Persephone's reaction carefully. "What
did she tell you? Did she really not want me—?"
"No!" Persephone cried, not letting Kim Dokja finish his sentence. "I told you, your mother loves
you very much."
Kim Dokja stared at her. Persephone closed her eyes, her brows pinched together in pain as she
recounted what had happened all those years ago.
"Your mother loves you very much," she said. "She has always loved you. . .I didn't know what
had happened, not until you told me."
"You said you did," Kim Dokja said sharply.
"I assumed," Persephone admitted. "The way she was back then, what she asked of us—I assumed
something must have happened. Something we didn't know."
"That I killed that man and she took the blame?" Kim Dokja said and Persephone's frown
deepened.
Kim Dokja was learning to put the incident behind him. Well, not behind him, but to a place where
it wouldn't bother his daily life like it had before.
"What did she ask of you?" he said.
Persephone put the fruit she was holding down, picked up a napkin and cleaned her hands before
taking his hand in hers.
"Dokja-yah," she said lovingly, stroking his hand with hers. "She—She was crying,"
"No, she wasn't," Kim Dokja remembered that day clearly.
"Not when you were there," Persephone shook her head and Kim Dokja felt all clogged up.
"She was crying, and she asked us to let you live happily," Persephone said, tears glistening in her
beautiful eyes. "She begged us to give you the life she wasn't able to— Told us to love you and to
never hurt you. We promised we would. We were planning to from the start, to love you, and give
you a happy life. You are our son, of course, we would give you all that without even having been
asked."
Persephone continued speaking for a long time, but at some point, Kim Dokja stopped listening. Or
rather the words that reached his ears just didn't register in his mind and it sounded like gibberish
to him.
"I want to meet her," he said finally when his mother had finished.
"If you want to," she nodded with a sad smile. She reached out and took his face in her hands to
kiss the top of his head.
It was a place Kim Dokja had thought he would never set foot in again. It was surprising how
many people offered to come with him. But when he refused all of them, his master told him to go
to the gym the second he returned for some reason. Kim Dokja would have preferred sitting in his
room reading, but he wouldn't put it past his master. And where had he found a gym anyway? He
disliked gymnasiums and preferred the great outdoors and fresh air instead. But with all the
pollution these days, is it even fresh air anymore?
Kim Dokja didn't try to stop his train of thought. He let it go as it wanted. He was worried about
what would happen if he forced himself to think of only this moment and this moment alone.
"It's been a while," he said, his tongue heavy in his mouth. "Mother."
His mother didn't look older than how she had been in her late thirties. Her expression was the
same as he remembered seeing every time they were in this situation.
It was different from the ones he had seen in his dreams all these days.
"I read your book recently," he said and his mother's face twitched slightly. A reaction, at last, he
revelled in that fact.
"And," Kim Dokja swallowed. "And...I'm a bit angry, mother."
God, how was she still looking him in the eye like that? How was she so calm when he was certain
that he was shaking. . .Right, he had probably learnt it from her.
"I'm actually really angry, Mother," he said. "Why didn't you tell me?"
This silence would have usually seemed so unnerving, but he was thankful for it at the moment. He
could see her thinking behind those cold eyes of hers.
"I remember now," he said and her eyes grew wider by just a fraction. "Don't you think it was too
much to not tell me about it? To not say a thing all these years?"
"Why wasn't I supposed to know?" Kim Dokja could feel his voice rising. His face was probably
scrunched up in anger that he didn't have the right to feel, yet felt.
"Why did you decide to save me that way? Were you saving me even? Is that what you thought?
I'd rather have been doomed instead."
"You don't know that," his mother finally spoke. It had been so long since he had heard her voice.
"You don't know that either," Kim Dokja said. "I didn't hate that you wrote that book. I didn't hate
that you sold our lives off as fiction. I was a bit disappointed and could not understand as a child,
but I didn't hate it."
"I hated that you never looked at me after that," he admitted. "I hated it because I thought you
didn't love me at all. After ruining everything, I hated that you threw me away without a second
glance."
"And now you're telling me it was all for my sake?!" Kim Dokja knew he should be feeling
grateful instead, he should be begging her for forgiveness, not rage at her like this.
"Did you really expect me to be fine with that?"
"I have nothing more to say to you," his mother said, getting up from the plastic chair.
"Mother!"
Lee Sookyung was refusing to look him in the eye. He really did get it from her; blood really runs
deep, huh?
"I don't wish to see you anymore."
"Mom! Will you look at me for once?!" Kim Dokja screamed. He was on his feet now as well.
"Mother!"
It must not have been easy. Or maybe it was, walking away, that is.
Kim Dokja stood there for a few more minutes before he left. He would try another day.
Kyrgios Rodgraim was actually pretty smart and not just strong, he supposed.
The gymnasium was empty, except for the two of them. His master was sitting on the seat of an
elliptical cross trainer, watching him run on the treadmill. Kim Dokja hated running, but he ran
anyway.
He thought he was surely going to fall into some weird abyssal void in his mind and never return if
he sat still at the moment. There was way too much going on in his head and physically moving,
even though he despised it, seemed to help.
"You," his master said sharply, eyes following his hands. "Have not trained in years, have you?"
"What do you mean, master?" Kim Dokja gasped out. "I literally was in the military a while ago."
"I am not talking about that," his master snapped. "Have you forgotten the benefits of training? Do
you need me to remind you again?"
Kim Dokja did not want another reminder of that, especially since 'reminding' by his master would
be in no way painless. He remembered back then, even though he found what he was doing very
tedious and burdensome, it exhausted his mind enough to keep him from rather dark thoughts.
Perhaps he should give it a try again. He hadn't touched a wooden sword in years. He had a few in
Japan, at his master's place, and a few back in Greece, but not a single one in Korea.
Yeah, he could see what his master was mad about.
"You managed to come to Seoul," Kim Dokja said instead, changing the subject. "Do you want her
address?"
"Kim Dokja."
Kim Dokja shuddered, lost his footing and almost fell face-first on the treadmill. His master got off
his seat and walked over to him, then increased the speed and elevation settings on the treadmill,
forcing him to run faster.
"Master," Kim Dokja spluttered. "I'm sorry! I was just suggesting."
"What a mouthy disciple I have," Kyrgios said coldly. "I need to teach you a lesson."
"But master," Kim Dokja cried, his legs screaming, another stitch forming under his ribs. "You are
here. You are here after all these years, so why don't you just go see her once?"
"And will you come along?" Kyrgios said and Kim Dokja swallowed.
"I can't do that, master," he told him.
"And why is that?" his master questioned.
"I . . .I just can't," Kim Dokja sighed, diverting his focus into running even if it was painful and his
muscles just wanted to give up and die right there.
"Keep your suggestions to yourself then," his master said sharply and walked away. He still didn't
reduce the speed.
Kim Dokja tried, but his mother refused to meet him. Even though he was at the penitentiary as
much as he could, the woman refused to see him and soon it got noted down and he was denied his
right to meet her since she did not want to.
Kim Dokja knew that if he wanted to, he could force her to meet him in so many ways. But there
was a strange amalgam of rage and desolation that clumped up and sat in the pit of his stomach
every time he thought of it. So he left it at that.
He considered Dionysus' advice seriously.
"You've never been to Japan, have you?" Kim Dokja told Han Sooyoung one afternoon. "Want to
come with me?"
Han Sooyoung looked at him blankly.
"You do have a passport, don't you?" he said. "I can arrange the visa and consider all other
expenses covered by me."
"Of course, you'll be the one doing that," Han Sooyoung said simply. "But why out of the blue?"
"I sort of want to leave this place," Kim Dokja said. "Thought Japan would work fine since I've
been there before. So if you want to come, we can go on a trip."
Han Sooyoung pretended to think for five minutes, then said, "Okay."
"My master's coming with us too," he told her.

"Cool," she said nonchalantly, returning to her laptop.
"Your passport?"
"I have a passport," she drawled.
"Is it still valid?"
". . .I think so."
"Go check already, dumbass."
Han Sooyoung was the most childish person Kim Dokja had ever met. Once she figured out that he
was pretty fluent in Japanese, she kept asking him for the translation of obscene things. At first, he
was naive and gave her the translation, until she went up to bother random strangers and when they
looked completely alarmed, she would turn to him and end up getting him in trouble.
Han Sooyoung took great entertainment in this. Kim Dokja really wanted to punt her into the little
fish pond his master had fixed a few years ago at his place and watch her drown. She probably
would, given her height. Of course, he did not say this statement before his master, but he did
convey his emotions to Han Sooyoung who threatened to gut him in his sleep.
"You're getting another tattoo?" Han Sooyoung asked when she found out that Kim Dokja was
clearing a day in their itinerary so that he could go to the tattoo parlour he had been visiting since
his late teenage years.
"Why? Is it some sort of ritual of yours?"
"I guess so," Kim Dokja shrugged, looking through his contacts so he could find the number he
was looking for and book an appointment. He didn't want the place to be all crowded when he was
getting his tattoo done.
"Does it hurt?" Han Sooyoung asked.
"Depends," Kim Dokja shrugged.
"The fuck is that supposed to mean?"
"How many tattoos do you have, actually?" Han Sooyoung said on their way to Kim Dokja's most
trusted tattoo parlour. He was surprised to find that the old guy had actually settled in Japan, and
had not just been a joke he had made.
"Not sure," Kim Dokja muttered, turning his eyes away from the window of the car he was looking
out of. "There's one on my back, my hands, my legs," he was holding up fingers as he listed them
out. Once he was done holding out all five fingers in one hand, he started counting on the other.
"Right ankle," He held out a sixth finger. "And behind my ear—Total seven."
"Nice, nice," Han Sooyoung nodded.
"Do you have any plans on getting one?" Kim Dokja said curiously.
"Nah, not really," Han Sooyoung said, watching the scenery roll by as the car sped down the road.
"What are you going to get?"
"Just...something," Kim Dokja sufficed with saying, instead of getting himself all embarrassed by
saying it out loud.
"Don't you usually go and get an idea at the parlour?" Han Sooyoung mused.
"What do you mean usually? You've never got a tattoo in your life," Kim Dokja snorted. "I make
my own designs, and the guy helps me out."
"You make your own designs?" Han Sooyoung sat upright in her seat. "Why didn't you tell me,
you bastard?!"
"It's not that great," Kim Dokja muttered. "I just get a rough sketch and he sort of cleans it all up
and comes up with a nice design, prints it out and tattoos it on me."
"Make one for me then," Han Sooyoung demanded.
"You want to get a tattoo?" Kim Dokja said, surprised.
"Not now," said Han Sooyoung. "Maybe later."
"What do you want?"
"No clue, man. Maybe a cool dragon or something."
"Which one?" Kim Dokja asked. "The Asian dragon or the Western one with wings."
"Wings," Han Sooyoung said without missing a beat.
"Cool," Kim Dokja nodded his approval. "Where?"
"My arm maybe?" Han Sooyoung said, placing her hand on her bicep.
Kim Dokja snickered. "Your arm? Give your hand a try," he grinned. "Are you planning on putting
bandages too? Come to think of it, you can be a bit chuuni sometimes, no?"
Being stuck in a car with a feral cat Han Sooyoung wasn't the most pleasant experience of his life,
and he was pretty sure when he finally stepped out of the car, he looked very ragged after her
attack for his disrespectful comment.
"Nice place!" Han Sooyoung whistled as he led the way into the parlour. The parlour did give a
very nice, professional seeming aesthetic.
"I know right," Kim Dokja said, going straight to the counter and letting Han Sooyoung explore
the front of the store.
"Hello," he said, rapping his knuckles smartly on the dark marble-topped front desk. There was a
soft bang from under the table that even caught Han Sooyoung's attention.
"Did you break something?" she said, looking at him tentatively.
Kim Dokja was more interested in the pale blue head that peeked out from under the desk.
"Hi," he said as the young man looked up at him, rubbing his head. "Is your boss here? I've got an
appointment now."
"Ah, hello," the man nodded dully. "He's inside."
"Come on," Kim Dokja told Han Sooyoung, who reluctantly walked away from the framed picture
she was staring at and followed him inside.
"You've come here every year since eighteen?" she asked him.
"Not every year," Kim Dokja told her. "I didn't when I was. . ." he trailed off and Han Sooyoung
sighed.
"How are the clubs in Japan?" she asked.
"I've never been to one," Kim Dokja confessed.
"What about in Seoul?"
"Nope."
"God, you're such a loser," Han Sooyoung said, disappointed. "At least, I've got a new item to add
to the itinerary."
"I'm not going to clubs."
"And you'll still remain a loser, then," Han Sooyoung scoffed.
"Clubs are like the worst place for me," Kim Dokja said. "Loud, crowded, too many flashy lights
and rowdy people. Besides, my doctors asked me to stay away from alcohol for a while."
Han Sooyoung clicked her tongue loudly but did not push the matter any further.
"Hey!" Kim Dokja said, holding up a greeting when he saw the familiar face. "You've grown old."
"You're back again," the old tattoo artist looked him up and down. "What did you do this time?"
"Sleeping pills," Kim Dokja said, still grinning and the man sighed.
"It wasn't really in my plan, you see, but here I am," Kim Dokja continued moving around the
place, he might as well have owned it. He was familiar enough with the layout now.
"Are you getting one or not?" the old man groaned, getting up from his seat and stretching.
"Oh, yeah," Kim Dokja nodded. "Check this for me. I've just emailed it to you."
"I thought he'd be Japanese," Han Sooyoung told him as they sat together. She was flipping
through books filled with designs, while Kim Dokja was scribbling on a piece of paper as the
design he wanted got fixed and made better before it could be printed out and slapped on his skin,
then etched in.
"He is?" Kim Dokja said, confused.
"Not the blue kid," Han Sooyoung snapped. "The old man."
"Oh, yeah, no, he's from the States, I think," Kim Dokja said. "My parents found him and I was in
Japan at the time. He decided he liked this place enough to settle here."
"Wait, your parents literally called the guy out all the way from the States because your ass wanted
a tattoo?" Han Sooyoung said, baffled. Kim Dokja nodded.
"I know right," he muttered, his pencil scratching away on the paper, making a few flowers to
match the one on his arms and thighs. He'd like to get it some other time.
"Where are you getting that?" Han Sooyoung said, looking over his shoulder at his drawing.
"Not sure," Kim Dokja shrugged. "Brainstorming in process. . .Found one you like? He can
customize it if you ask for it."
"It looks like it'll take a lot of time," Han Sooyoung said, flipping another page.
"Of course, it will," Kim Dokja said. "The more details, the more time, the more pain, you get the
idea."
"I really want to punch you right now," Han Sooyoung grumbled.
"Ankle?" Han Sooyoung said when Kim Dokja propped his leg up. "So that's why you wore shorts
today. I did think it was suspicious for you to not dress like an ahjussi."
"I don't dress like an ahjussi," Kim Dokja snapped. Han Sooyoung ignored him. He really didn't
see what was wrong with his fashion sense, he thought he dressed just fine. From which angle did
he look like an ahjussi?
"I never thought you'd do florals," Han Sooyoung said, pushing up the fabric of his shorts with her
finger to see the dark flowers peeking out from underneath. "They're cool, they've got this nice
dark aesthetic going on. But flowers? Really?"
"What did you think I'd get?" Kim Dokja said as he felt the spray work and his calf and ankle
turning cold.
"I don't know," Han Sooyoung shrugged. "You know, like the stuff men usually get."
"And what's that?"
"I don't know, man," Han Sooyoung said waspishly, crossing her arms. "Just not a garden of
flowers like you."
"I got them to remind me of my mother," Kim Dokja confessed.

"Which one?"
Kim Dokja cast her a scathing look.
"I cared only for one at that age," he said darkly. "They're all technically tributes."
"Tributes?"
Kim Dokja nodded.
"All of them?"
"Yeah."
"What've you got on your back?"
"Wings."
"Does it cover all your back?"
"Not exactly, but sort of."
"Cool."
"I know."
"Didn't you like get it when you were a kid though? You've got to have grown. There's no way you
looked like this when you were eighteen. Or was it Kyrgios helping you out?"
"I got it redone a couple of times," he said.
"Redone?"
"I didn't get it all done the first time. It took a while for it to be finished, actually. I keep adding on
if that makes sense."
"Got it. . .Why?"
"Why not?"
"But why?"
"Han Sooyoung," Kim Dokja said looking up from his foot. "It's not my first time, you don't need
to talk me through it. Relax."
Han Sooyoung swore at him for that and he ignored it as usual.
She managed to maintain fifteen minutes of silence by going on her phone, then finally she
switched her phone off and started speaking again.
"I'll talk, you listen," she said loftily.
Kim Dokja tilted his head a few inches so he could see her clearly and raised his eyebrows, asking
her to go ahead.
"Kim Dokja, what are you going to do after this?" Han Sooyoung said.
"Go home, what else?" Kim Dokja said, pretending that he didn't know that she was being serious.
"You know what I'm talking about," Han Sooyoung said testily. "What are you going to do next?"
"I'm still thinking," Kim Dokja gave in.
"Your parents want to take you back with them to Greece," Han Sooyoung said and Kim Dokja
heard the dejection in her voice. "You, are you leaving?"
"I think so," Kim Dokja said. "I was never from Greece, you know. . .I think I'll go somewhere
else."
"Somewhere where?" she asked. "Are you ever planning on returning? Or is this some way of your
final goodbye? I swear to god, if it is, Kim Dokja, I'll beat the shit out of you."
"I'm not going forever," Kim Dokja assured her. "Just until I don't. . .Just until I can breathe back
there."
Han Sooyoung pursed her lips. Then she closed her eyes and exhaled softly.
"Alright," she muttered. "You better keep in touch. Or I'll take a flight to you myself, bitch."
"How do you not get in trouble for using vulgar language in master's house, but I do?" Kim Dokja
complained. "This is just partiality!"
"That's clearly because I'm better than you," Han Sooyoung said cockily.
"If your ego could be converted into height, you'd actually be tall enough to reach my chin," Kim
Dokja said and if it weren't for him getting a tattoo done, Han Sooyoung would have launched
herself at him to beat him up right then and there.
Han Sooyoung laughed her butt off when she saw the finished work on his ankle to match the one
on his other one.
"Really?" she guffawed. "Constellations? From Ways of Survival? And is that a book? With
blood? God, you cringe asshole! And you called me chuuni."
This one was larger than his older one, starting out above his ankle and winding up his calf. He still
had his whole 'floral theme' as Han Sooyoung says going on. But he got his tribute etched to his
skin now.
"You fiction crush? Really?" she was still laughing. She had been ever since she found out that the
vines were going a certain way, with flower buds positioned exactly like the constellations she had
spent hours researching to write her novel.
"You wrote the book," Kim Dokja said and as he expected, Han Sooyoung ceased laughing slowly.
"You saved me this time, didn't you?"
Han Sooyoung's mouth fell open and Kim Dokja looked away, embarrassed. This is why he didn't
want to go around saying it, but Han Sooyoung was having way too much fun at his expense.
"You," Han Sooyoung started, sounding strangely obstructed. "You got that because—tribute? For
me?"
Kim Dokja wished the ground could just swallow him and save him the shame. He wasn't exactly
ashamed of it, nor did he regret getting it, it was just that Han Sooyoung's reaction was making it so
awkward.
"I'm not going to forget you," he said softly, looking at the new ink on his skin. He had two around
both his legs now. His older one had things that reminded him of his parents, and this new one was
to remind him of his friend and his mother, both of who wrote in hopes to save him. He thought it
was a pretty neat idea, something being both shackles and anklets. Something to ground him when
he wished for nothing more than the heavens to take him.
Of course, saying this would make Han Sooyoung very flustered at the moment, and once she
recovered from it, she would tease to the ends of the world with it. So he was going to keep that to
himself for now. But he could still reassure her somehow.
"Han Sooyoung, you are my friend," he said, not watching Han Sooyoung's reaction. "I don't think
I'll ever forget you, even if I tried. And I'll come back. It might take a while, but I'll be back."
"Fucking bastard," he heard Han Sooyoung say from above before she marched out of the parlour.
"She was crying," the old man provided, and even his assistant looked disappointed at whatever
Kim Dokja had said.
"Why do you have to make your girlfriend cry?" he said as Kim Dokja stretched his leg out to
examine it from other angles.
"Not my girlfriend," Kim Dokja corrected. "Just friend. . .She was the one who found me when I
almost OD'd."
The old man clicked his tongue, watching Kim Dokja get to his feet and put his slippers back on.
He had come prepared for this.
"I told her that I got this to thank her, so she's probably just feeling touched," he said, feeling the
need to clear up his image. "I didn't do anything."
"You are an insensitive prick, if I've ever met one," the old tattoo artist said drolly. "I've seen you
here so many times every time you drag along someone who has the same look on their face."
"Trying to be happy but actually sad?" Kim Dokja asked.
"What else?" the man huffed.
Kim Dokja knew that. He didn't know why he had to go and confirm it from another person, but he
did.
All the more reason for him to leave for a while. He wouldn't be able to pretend to be getting better
or happier for too long, so he had to get away for now. He was going to try to get better, of course,
he was. He just didn't know how long it would take and he didn't want them to see him struggle
through it. It really wasn't going to be a pleasant experience.
He'd much rather reassure them by calling them every once in a while, showing them he was better
during those short moments and letting them feel even the slightest bit happier because of him. He
couldn't do that by staying with them.
Their ride back home was silent, both of them sitting at either end in the back seat, staring out of
their respective windows. Han Sooyoung really had been crying and her face was still red with
embarrassment.
"I want to get a tattoo done sometime," she said when they finally reached his master's place where
they were staying during their time in Japan, mostly because his master wanted to train Kim Dokja.
"I'm not doing matching bestie tats," Kim Dokja said immediately. "I've got a vibe going on."
"You are the most insufferable person I've ever had the misfortune to call a friend," Han Sooyoung
spat coldly. "I don't want a matching tattoo with your cringe loser ass either. I told you, I want
something cool like a dragon."
"Oh, yeah something cool like a dragon to seal away the darkness in your hand," Kim Dokja joked
and Han Sooyoung jumped on him. He effectively neutralised her attack by pushing her head back
with his hand and holding her there as she struggled to reach him.
When they figured out that Kim Dokja had been doing something behind their backs, Kyrgios
Rodgraim dragged him out of the house and announced that he was going to spar with him.
Now, Kim Dokja might have swung a wooden sword around a few times, a few stabs, a few
strikes, a few slashes, but he was not good enough to actually spar!
His master showed him no mercy. He was getting a single-handed beat down.
Han Sooyoung was sitting outside, watching him getting his ass handed to him as she sipped on a
tall glass of cola.
"Serves you right," she had said savagely when his master called him outside.
Kim Dokja didn't think he had committed that great of a crime. All he had done was apply to a
university a while ago and get accepted.
Alright, he might see where they were coming from. He did have this in his mind months back, and
his third failed attempt wasn't exactly in his plans. Maybe surprises weren't his thing.
There wasn't a lot for him to do, and he thought he might as well try 'studying' again. He wasn't
great at it, but he could absorb the knowledge and get a diploma in business administration like
everyone thought he would. A degree in Korean Literature wasn't a lot, if he was being honest, at
least not where he wanted to go.
Kim Dokja was absolutely exhausted when they were done by the evening. He collapsed the
second he entered the cool house, but he wasn't allowed a second of rest. His master dragged him
off to the bath, then he was out to have his dinner and put on pain relief patches because otherwise,
Kim Dokja thought he might just die. And when he finally hit his bed, he was so, so glad.
"Is this training, master?" Kim Dokja asked when he underwent this torture for a good week.
"It's punishment, stupid disciple," his master snapped.
Han Sooyoung had decided that watching Kim Dokja getting beaten up wasn't as entertaining
anymore, so was back inside, working on a new chapter.
"It was supposed to be a surprise, master," Kim Dokja said in an attempt to save himself.
"Don't attempt if you cannot execute it well enough."
"What sort of logic is that?"
Clearly, Kim Dokja was going to end up in a heap somewhere because of that mouth of his. Why
couldn't he just shut up?
His master didn't go back to Seoul with him and Han Sooyoung. Han Sooyoung wasn't very happy
with him either, but she had gotten over it soon.
His parents left first, and Kim Dokja stayed for a few more days with Han Sooyoung before
leaving for the UK.
"I'm still going to send you the new chapters and I expect them to be edited well," Han Sooyoung
was saying. "I don't care about the time difference."
"At least now I'll get them at a decent time instead of waking up at the crack of dawn to read that
plagiarised stuff," Kim Dokja said, smiling.
"God, you're incorrigible," Han Sooyoung grumbled.
"We're still going to text and all," Kim Dokja said. He really didn't get why people acted as if he
was going to vanish from the surface of the earth. . .Okay, maybe he had an inkling as to why they
would have thought that and why they would generally prefer having him in their sight before he
did something they considered ridiculous.
"Of course, we are," Han Sooyoung cried. "You think I can't buy a ticket to England to come and
beat your ass? Don't you dare ignore my texts or calls! I'll tell your mother then and she likes me
now, so she'll even pay for my expenses."
"She probably will," Kim Dokja sighed. "And I'm not going to ignore you. What kind of nonsense
is that?"
"You are such a hopeless guy," Han Sooyoung said, throwing her head back to stare dramatically
at the sky. Kim Dokja felt the urge to flick her nose but kept it to himself lest he gets maimed a few
hours before his flight.
"What do I even do with you, man?"
"It'll all be alright," he said in Japanese, imitating the typical anime tone.
"Ugh, fuck off already," Han Sooyoung groaned, glaring at him.

She gave him a quick hug before detaching herself from him and shuddering as though she had
touched something very unpleasant, making Kim Dokja raise his eyebrows in amusement.
"You really act like a cat sometimes, you know," he said matter-of-factly.
"You really act like you need to get punched in the stomach sometimes, you know," Han Sooyoung
said darkly.
"It was just an observation," he said, holding his hands up in surrender.
Bidding Han Sooyoung goodbye wasn't as hard for him as it was for her. Kim Dokja tried to find
an answer as to why that was on his long flight out of the country. His passport looked pretty cool
though. With all the stamps on it from going to different places.
World domination, Dionysus had said.

He wasn't all sure about dominating the world. He would like to see it though.
One at a time, perhaps. His diploma wasn't going to take a long time. He'd think about what to do
then.
Chapter End Notes
Where is this plot going? What is happening? How am I still not done with KDJ's side
of the story?
What?!
I can't even...
It is what it is, my dudes.
Chapter 26
Chapter Notes
Double update
Might want to go to the previous chapter and read that if you haven't
"Where are you?" Han Sooyoung demanded as Kim Dokja placed a hand in front of his mouth to
cover the wide yawn he had let out.
"Airport," he said, fixing his earphones and flipping the camera so that Han Sooyoung could see
the waiting lounge at the airport.
"You keep doing this bullshit!" Han Sooyoung frowned, rubbing her forehead with her hand in
exasperation. "You should've told me, I'd have arranged another time to talk. Aren't you tired?"
"Not really," Kim Dokja said, turning the camera back to show him. "And I won't have much time
for the next few weeks anyway. Ah, anyway, congratulations on getting SSSSS-grade Infinite
Regressor published."
"It's not out yet," Han Sooyoung said, but it was clear to see that she was pleased as well. "The
head's being a piece of shit."
"Why? What happened?" Kim Dokja said, leaning back to sit comfortably on the soft leather couch
he was sitting on. He listened to Han Sooyoung talk about her troubles with one annoying son of a
bitch who wanted some shitty romance and other stuff added to the story, and how they thought
that they needed to change the language a bit, make it more suitable to be published as a physical
book.
"I'm going to punch that bastard's teeth in one day, I swear," Han Sooyoung grumbled. "Hey, just
buy out the publishing house for me."
Kim Dokja laughed. "You want me to buy out one of the best publishing houses in the country?"
"Why? You don't have the money?"
"It's not about having the money. It's about getting a profit out of it," Kim Dokja said, stifling
another yawn. "I've never done anything in the media field."
"Are you sleepy?" Han Sooyoung asked.
"A little," Kim Dokja nodded.
"Take a sleeping pill once you take off," she said and Kim Dokja scoffed.
"Who does that? Take a pill and stay unawares on a flight? Are you that careless?"
"No one's going to do anything to you on your flight," Han Sooyoung said waspishly.
"I can't be sure about that," said Kim Dokja. He couldn't afford to be careless and sometimes he
thought Dionysus was right in calling him paranoid.
"I'll go to bed once I reach back," he said. "It's not that long of a flight. . .Sometimes, I think I
should just get a private chartered flight, like in those movies, you know?"
"Get one then," Han Sooyoung said. "It's not like you can't afford it. Take me on trips too."
"Where do you want to go?" he asked to humour her.
"No idea. Where are you going next?"
"France."
"Nice! Take a lot of photos and send them to me," Han Sooyoung said. "Take nice pics, not shitty
ones."
Kim Dokja made it his personal mission to take as many shitty photos as he could and send them
all to Han Sooyoung just to mess with her and let her struggle to clear her gallery storage.
"I'm going to get something to eat, you keep talking," Han Sooyoung said and Kim Dokja watched
her get up and move away from her laptop.
"What do I have to talk about?" he said.
"Did you eat anything yet?" Han Sooyoung called loudly from another room in her apartment.
"Obviously, I did," Kim Dokja replied, not really sure if he had, he was supposing he had. His
stomach wasn't exactly grumbling or anything, so he supposed he did eat something.
"And I had a coffee a while ago," he said when he remembered. "Airports are such a scam, man."
"Says you," Han Sooyoung laughed. "It's all you capitalist pricks' fault."
"Says the one who just asked me to buy her a publishing company," Kim Dokja scoffed.
"I didn't ask you to buy it and give it to me," Han Sooyoung corrected, now coming back with a
plate of food. "I said buy it, fix my issues, then do whatever you want with it."
"Why are you like this, seriously?" Kim Dokja sighed. Han Sooyoung focused on eating her food,
making sure to show Kim Dokja the pretty fired chicken before putting it into her mouth.
"I miss kimchi so much," Kim Dokja muttered dejectedly and Han Sooyoung took great enjoyment
in laughing at his misery.
"Are your tastebuds ruined yet?" she asked. "Is all their food bland?"
"They're not bland," Kim Dokja rolled his eyes. He wasn't lying, they were not bland. They just
weren't spicy enough to what he was used to. Kim Dokja wasn't someone who could handle a lot of
spice anyway, but this was still disappointing. He remembered having to look around for chillies
that wouldn't make him want to punch someone because the ones he got at the local supermarket
just didn't do the job they were supposed to.
"I saw you on Yoo Joonghyuk's stream last week," Han Sooyoung said, getting Kim Dokja's
attention away from chillies that were marked as 'hot' and ended up as anything but.
"Since when do you watch Yoo Joonghyuk's streams?" Kim Dokja asked.
"To check up on what bullshit you're up to," Han Sooyoung glared at him. "Seriously. How much
money are you wasting on that guy?"
"Hey, it's not wasting," Kim Dokja said indignantly. "I was congratulating him on his new ad
campaign."
"You bought the shitty watch he was advertising, didn't you?" Han Sooyoung narrowed her eyes at
him in what he would call mild disgust.
"It's not even your style!" she cried. "You will never wear it. Why are you buying something so
useless? Oh, I swear, my blood pressure! You crazy, obsessed fanboy! Can't you be normal and
just tell me to set you up?"
"Why would I want that?" Kim Dokja scoffed.
"I can't do this today," Han Sooyoung said, closing her eyes. She bit harshly into a piece of fried
chicken and chomped angrily on it.
"Do you know he got a girlfriend recently?" Han Sooyoung said once she swallowed her mouthful.
Kim Dokja thought he was good at schooling his expressions, but Han Sooyoung just knew him a
bit too well. Her gaze softened into something that was still scornful but had a mixture of pity in it
now.
"Want to know about her?" she asked. "Give me something in exchange and I'll tell you what I
know about her."
"How do you even know about this?" Kim Dokja said, pretending like he wasn't interested at all.
"I know shit, man," Han Sooyoung waved it away. "She went to our high school."
"You knew her?"
"Nope," Han Sooyoung shook her head. "Found out just yesterday. It's kinda weird, I think I knew
all the popular kids back then. They were my info network."
"Why did you need an info network in high school?"
"Why didn't you?"
"What?"
"Do you or do you not want to know about Lee Seolhwa?" Han Sooyoung said, annoyed.
"Is that her name?" Kim Dokja said and Han Sooyoung nodded.
"It's a pretty name," Kim Dokja said finally and Han Sooyoung rolled her eyes at him.
"You're pathetic," she sighed, giving in. "She's studying to be a doctor. Really pretty. I can send
you her social media handles if you want."
"What's your impression of her?" Kim Dokja asked.
Han Sooyoung stared at him for a while, then shrugged and said, "She's nice."
"That's good then," he smiled, making Han Sooyoung grimace. "I'm glad that he is happy."
"I really can't with you," Han Sooyoung said in exasperation. "I really can't! Why are you like
this?"
"Whatever do you mean?"
"It's like you aren't even trying to move on!" Han Sooyoung snapped.
"Move on from what?"
"Kim Dokja, if I was there with you right now, I'd have suplexed the shit out of you," Han
Sooyoung waved her chopsticks threateningly at the camera. "Why, really? Dude, there are plenty
of fish in the sea. Even that one guy who goes around calling you his brother. God, he's a hunk if
I've ever seen one."
"I am not interested in Sun Wukong like that," Kim Dokja wrinkled his nose.
"He's literally better than your Supreme Loser in every single perceivable way!" Han Sooyoung
said.
"No, he's not," Kim Dokja said without missing a beat.
"I hate you so much right now," Han Sooyoung pinched the bridge of her nose, her brows furrowed
as though she was in immense pain. "Hey, why won't you even give it a chance with someone
else?"
"Will you drop this?" Kim Dokja said wearily. "What's everyone's obsession with getting me set up
with someone? Did you make a deal with my mother behind my back?"
"Everyone's just worried about you," Han Sooyoung said waspishly. "I think you should give your
mother a chance and go on the blind dates she tried to set up for you."
"And what?" Kim Dokja let out a breath. "I don't know what you expect to happen. Do you think
you're going to guilt trip me into caring for someone and then I'll end up falling in love like those
shitty romances you like to read?"
"I do not like reading those," Han Sooyoung corrected. "I read those so I can send them to you. To
help you get some romantic sense in that dumb brain of yours."
"Bullshit of the century," Kim Dokja droned.
"Why won't you just give it a try?"
"I'm not interested."
"Hah, as if!" Han Sooyoung scoffed.
"I'm really not interested," Kim Dokja said. "I'm not made for romance."
"You are insufferable," Han Sooyoung spat. "You do this all the fucking time, I can't with you."
Kim Dokja knew just what Han Sooyoung was about and he was sure she knew what he was trying
to say as well. What he didn't understand was why she was so insistent even after knowing what his
issue was.
She knew just how hard it could be for anyone to handle Kim Dokja. Putting that in a romantic
relationship was just setting the path to a doomed ending.
"If you manage to convince my mother to drop this," Kim Dokja said. "I'll do what you want and
get that company for you."
Han Sooyoung paused, and then she closed her eyes.
"Fine," she sighed, tired. "Fine. Be like that then."
"You have to convince my mother though," Kim Dokja reminded her and she gave him the middle
finger.
Kim Dokja didn't sleep on his flight, he was really exhausted though. He could feel his feet aching
from having walked around a lot earlier that day, not to mention his back. He felt like it would
crack if he so much as tried to stretch.
He had other things to worry about, honestly. Like his grades that were dropping. He should have
put more effort into his assignments, he kept on procrastination on them and it was taking him
nowhere.
Sometimes he wondered if he had overestimated himself and bit off more than he could possibly
chew.
Then he would bury himself in more productive things to do so that he wouldn't have to think about
useless things.
He rubbed his forehead with his hand, wondering if he remembered what it was like to not have a
headache constantly.
Ah, he hadn't been exercising as much. If Kyrgios saw this he was so getting the shit beaten out of
him. Kim Dokja absolutely loathed working out, but they sort of helped him clear his sinuses and
get a good night's sleep, the only reason he ever engaged in strenuous physical activity.
Kim Dokja was never one to call Han Sooyoung first. He would contact her first, but only through
text messages, not an actual call. That was probably why she picked up the phone so quickly and in
a panicked voice said, "What's it?"
"Han Sooyoung, I'm a father now."
There was a long, long silence. Then Han Sooyoung hung up.
Kim Dokja stared at his phone in confusion, when Han Sooyoung called him again.
"H—"
"What the fuck are you saying!?"

Kim Dokja jumped holding the phone away from his ear as Han Sooyoung continued screaming.
"It's a long story," Kim Dokja told her and Han Sooyoung swore some more.
When she finally calmed down, Kim Dokja told her about his adventures and how he ended up
with a daughter.
"Okay, okay," Han Sooyoung said from the other side of the line, taking deep breaths and calming
herself down after she listened to Kim Dokja's story.
"You and your associate got into some shitty trouble and that ended up with that guy volunteering
to be a sperm donor."
"Yeah."
"And everything was going well until the child was born and the mother said nope, I don't want it."
Kim Dokja knew that she couldn't see him but he nodded anyway.
"And you two decided to take it in."
"Sort of," he said. "Bihyung is technically the father and he didn't want to leave the child at an
orphanage or something like that."
"Why are you adopting it then!?" Han Sooyoung screeched.
"Ah, that. . .I got attached," Kim Dokja said sheepishly.
"What?"
"I spent some time with her and got attached, you know," he said, slightly defensive. "Bihyung's
pretty busy to take care of a baby, and I had some time to spare so I ended up babysitting her. . .I
even got to name her, you know! She's called Biyoo. Well, Kim Biyoo now."
"It's official?!"
"Oh, yeah, a few days back. Yup. So I have a daughter now."
He heard Han Sooyoung wailing on the other end, her voice fading as though she was moving
away from the phone, probably in frustration.
"You, how long have you had her?"
Kim Dokja sensed the danger in that tone, so he wisely said, "A while."
"And you're telling me this now, you bastard?!"
When Han Sooyoung finally calmed down, she asked, "Do your parents know?"
"Oh, yeah, I told them and they were fine with it," he told her. "They've even met her."
"Even they've met her, but you won't bring her to her auntie, you sick fucker?!"
"Who's her auntie?"
"I'm her auntie, bitch. Like you have any other friends who can be her auntie."
"There's Uriel."
"Stop grasping at the straws, desperation's a shit look on you."
Han Sooyoung could be brutally honest, and it was a wonder how Kim Dokja still got taken aback
by it sometimes.
"Send me her photos," Han Sooyoung demanded.
"Okay," Kim Dokja was only happy to have someone new to share his daughter's photos with.
His daughter! It made him grin widely sometimes.
He didn't think he would be by any means a good parent, but something about Biyoo just told him
that she was his daughter to take care of. He had been very apprehensive of this at first, but when
he gave the child her name, he had to give up his fears too.
When he tried telling his parents this, they only laughed fondly and told that they knew that
feeling. It wasn't something that could be put into words.
"...Are you sure she's not yours?" Han Sooyoung said once she saw the pictures Kim Dokja had
just sent her.
"Yes, we did a DNA test and all," Kim Dokja said. "She just really looks like me...Well, her mother
looked like that. If you think about it, my features are pretty common."
"Huh, they are, aren't they?" Han Sooyoung muttered. "I really could go pick up any random guy
from the streets with dark hair, dark eyes, and fair skin."
"Real freaky, man," Han Sooyoung said dazedly, ignoring his question. "She looks so much like
you. This is awesome...I'm an auntie now. Wow! And you're a dad! What the fuck?!"
Han Sooyoung collapsed into a fit of raucous laughter, and even Kim Dokja couldn't help but grin.
"When are you coming back then?" Han Sooyoung said finally. "I want to see my niece."
"Not sure, when things stop being so hectic," Kim Dokja said. "And I don't think it's wise to travel
with Biyoo just yet."
"If you're busy, who's taking care of the kid?"
"My parents are here, didn't I tell you?"
"You never tell me shit, you motherfucker!"
"I always tell you shit!"
"You tell me shit after it's way too late, asshole. Do you really need me to remind you of all the
times you've pulled this nonsense, huh?"
Kim Dokja thought it was wise to just apologize and leave it at that before his eardrums burst out
of the sheer noise Han Sooyoung was producing at the moment. He finally appeased her by
promising that he would send her as many pictures of Biyoo as he could.
Biyoo was already his wallpaper on both his personal laptop and phone.
Kim Dokja loved his daughter so much. She was the loveliest little thing he had ever held in his
arms. So adorable, he thought he understood his parents' sentiments a bit now. But Kim Dokja
hadn't been that cute when he was a kid though. Kim Dokja supposed Biyoo got her adorableness
from her birth mother. He didn't really know what he would do when Biyoo grew up enough to ask
him about all that, but since that still had a while to go, he decided not to stress about it just yet.
When a huge group of people gather, they will always split up into separate little parties of their
own. Usually, this was done based on mutual benefit, or to flaunt power, especially in such a
professional setting. Hence it was a wonder how such a peculiar faction even came to be. It was
made entirely based on personal interest, based on 'friendship'.
The seniors in the field said it was because they were young and immature and didn't know how
things worked just yet. Their words didn't hold much value, however, the four of them were pretty
well known for their proficiency at what they do.
At any important gathering, it was common to see the Judge of Fire, the Great Sage, Salvation and.
. .ah, that guy's name was a bit embarrassing to say, Black Cloud's leader together in a little gang of
their own.
"It's because your name is weird," Great Sage said nonchalantly, twirling a strand of his golden
hair. "Who names themselves Abyssal Black Flame Dragon?"
"Black Flame?" said Guwon. "I thought it was Dark Flame."
"Same thing, really," Great Sage shrugged.
"That's why we call you Draggy," Judge of Fire said cheerfully, grabbing the little boy with dark
hair into a hug that soon turned into a chokehold because he dared to call her a "Bitch!"
"Well, I have been calling him Yong in my head," Salvation confessed.
"It's kid for me."
"I'm not a kid!"
The leader of the notorious Black Cloud may be praised as a young genius, but he really had a
mind of an eternal fifteen-year-old with a severe chuuni complex.
"I don't think Yong is that bad of a name. It's technically 'dragon' in my native tongue."
"Like Guwon, you mean?"
"Well, Salvation is a bit of an embarrassing modifier, if you think about it."
"It's Demon King of Salvation," Uriel giggled.

"Aren't you from Eden?" Sun Wukong said, he always found Uriel's reactions amusing when it
came to Kim Dokja. "Shouldn't you hate him instead?"
"No one can hate our Dokja," Uriel said still manhandling the teen who was now trying to bite her
back.
"I'm pretty sure I can think of many people who hate me," Kim Dokja said, staring at the golden
liquid in the glass he was holding. "It will be a long, long list."
"Those you hate you are simply envious," Uriel waved it away. "Even Garbiel likes you now!
Everyone from Eden has a good impression of you."
"Except for Michael."
"We don't talk about Michael," Uriel said darkly. The swear words that flowed out of her mouth
like water could make anyone's ears bleed. It was a surprise how they got used to it in the first
place.
Yong finally managed to get himself out of Uriel's grasp and went to stand near Kim Dokja. Kim
Dokja was pretty sure it was because they had similar modifier names. At first, he was pretty
pissed about it but as time went on, he mellowed out.
Even Kim Dokja wasn't sure how this came to be, truth be told.
He had just attended a banquet hosted by Star Stream as the representative of UW one day.
Somehow he managed to catch the attention of the Great Sage, and then came along Uriel and in
order to start a fight with him, came ABFD.
Then they stuck together.
How Kim Dokja really had no idea.
They just got along well and would gravitate towards each other every time they saw spotted each
other at some sort of gathering or function. Soon their personal contact information was exchanged.
And the funny thing is, even though they met in such a setting, they rarely ever spoke about
business.
Kim Dokja tried a lot of times, bringing up the topic, wondering if they wanted to use him
somehow. They just didn't really care and seemed to think he was a fun guy to be around. That was
a logic Kim Dokja did not understand and wasn't going to investigate further on.
"Michael doesn't like you because he's jealous," Uriel said heatedly.
Kim Dokja thought 'jealous' was an understatement. Michael was out for blood when it came to his
case.
"He doesn't like that you managed to get into the..." Uriel dropped her voice, "Other association as
well."
Kim Dokja thought it was wise that she had whispered that word. It somehow seemed to summon
Gabriel every time.
Well, it was true, being considered a 'King', while not being an exclusive member of the
association was not something everyone did.
Kim Dokja honestly preferred his Prince of UW title. Yes, he had earned his other title and was
much more well-known, but why that name? He really did not want to go around being called
'Demon King of Salvation'. It was the twenty-first century for fuck's sake.
He had somehow managed to get it shortened to Guwon, Korean for Salvation and even though
Han Sooyoung laughed for ages when she found out about it, it was much better than whatever it
was before.
"Yongie is a nice name though," Uriel said. "Yongie and Draggy."
ABFD swore wildly, threatening to 'remove off his seals' and 'rip Uriel to pieces'.
"Are you going back soon, Maknae-yah?"
Kim Dokja's eyes moved from Uriel to Sun Wukong. Right, this guy went around announcing him
as his youngest brother.
Somedays, Kim Dokja felt he should just lie down and wonder what the fuck had happened with
his life.
He hadn't been particularly cheerful when he had met these people. They had sort of seen his
introverted, depressed ass and took him in, crowding around him and taking him places every
chance they got. They even had a little group chat where they would suggest places they wanted to
tour and would try to find a time and date where they were all free to go and have fun as tourists.
"Yes," Kim Dokja said, raising his glass to his lips and taking a sip of the alcohol. "Next month."
"I want to visit South Korea sometime," said Uriel. "It's pretty close to China, so you'll be able to
make it quicker, won't you?"
"Is South Korea our next destination, then?" Sun Wukong said, rather excited. "I want to visit our
youngest's country as well. You were there to see mine."
"Yongie, have you been to South Korea?" Uriel asked.
"Stop calling me that, you old hag," ABFD grumbled, straightening his dark suit. "And no. There
was no need for me to visit such a small, insignificant country."
He got bonked on the head by Sun Wukong for that since Uriel was a bit too far to reach him on
time.
"Do that again, you monkey and face my wrath!"
"Yeah, yeah, whatever squirt."
"I want to learn Korean now. You speak it, don't you, Great Sage? Is it difficult to learn?"
"It wasn't for me."
"You shouldn't lie."
"I'm not?!"
Kim Dokja was a bit nervous about going back to Seoul. He wasn't sure what he was going to do
there just yet. During the last two years, he had been going around for work purposes. It went
incredibly well according to him, he managed to get everything he wanted.
Then Han Sooyoung asked him to get back to South Korea since he had nothing better to do.
It wasn't that he had nothing better to do, it was just that he had been moving around for so long,
the idea of settling somewhere seemed strange. But he agreed to return anyway. He was not
planning on staying for long, just a quick visit, staying for a while with his friend until he found the
next place to go to.
Dionysus said they were wanderers, Kim Dokja didn't really feel it was up his alley. He just didn't
know what else to do. Everywhere felt somehow wrong. So he roamed around. It wasn't a lot, it
had just been a bit over two years. It was surprisingly, not a lot of time.
"We will still go on our trips, won't we?" Uriel was saying, snapping him out of his thoughts.
"Of course," Kim Dokja said without thinking much. "As long as we arrange it, I don't see why
not."
"You've all been to my country as well," Uriel mused. "We just have Yongie's and Guwon's places
left."
"We're visiting Guwon's place first."
"You are not welcome at my abode!"
"We didn't ask, Draggy, we're coming if we want to come. You do want to, right, Guwon?"
"Oh, yeah, totally. I'm down."
"You traitor! Demon King of Salvation, I shall not forget this!"
"Someone put that kid to sleep, seriously."
"Why do you look like that?" he blurted out when he saw Han Sooyoung outside the airport
waiting for him.
"What?" she said darkly.
"No," Kim Dokja searched around for a way to salvage this. "You look strange. . .You're style's
changed."
"I graduated ages ago," Han Sooyoung sneered. "Where's your memory at? I'm twenty-six now,
dumbass. Why would I dress like I'm in college?"
"You're still the same height though."
Han Sooyoung who had just turned to lead him towards their car that was waiting to take them
home stopped and turned around, cracking her knuckles.
"Get here," she said threateningly. "You've gotten braver because we've been seeing each other
from behind screens these years."
Kim Dokja got into the car pretty much unscathed if they didn't consider Han Sooyoung having
grabbed his collar and shaking him around.
"Where's my baby girl?"
"My parents are bringing her next month," Kim Dokja replied, slipping off his suit jacket and
unbuttoning the first two buttons of his shirt, finally breathing freely.
"Are you sure she will remember you now?" Han So-young said and Kim Dokja had a feeling she
did this just to see him panic.
She did. The witch was smirking at the frown that had creased Kim Dokja's forehead.
"Biyoo. . .Metaphor, huh?" Han Sooyoung muttered. "You're such a nerd...Then again, what can I
expect from a guy named Reader."
"What's wrong with Biyoo?"
"I didn't say anything was wrong."
"You implied it. Why do you have a problem now?"
"I literally didn't say anything."
"Han Sooyoung, really?"
"Ey, chill dude," Han Sooyoung said handing him a lemon lollipop.
"How long are you staying?" she asked as they sped down the roads that were busy even in the
afternoons.
"No clue," Kim Dokja replied, reluctantly unwrapping the candy and putting it in his mouth. He
could do with some sugar in his system at the moment.
"Where are you staying then?"
"I've found a place."
They sat in comfortable silence in the car until they stopped at a cafe to have a quick brunch.
"How's Korea now?" Han Sooyoung asked as he was enjoying a cup of coffee.
"Same as always," Kim Dokja shrugged. "I heard you bought a car. Are you not going to show it to
me?"
"I bought two cars, bitch," Han Sooyoung grinned.
"Can you even drive though?"
"Obviously, I can drive. What sort of question is that? Can you drive?"
"...You are not a good driver, are you?" Kim Dokja said slowly, looking over at her from over his
cup. Han Sooyoung scowled back at him.
"So what?" she huffed. "At least I have a car."
"I don't need one," Kim Dokja smirked. "I can just book a cab or even rent one."
"Whatever, you dumb fuck," Han Sooyoung grumbled. "Can you move on though?"
"Wow, that's a low blow," Kim Dokja's smirk slid off his face. "That's a low blow, Ms Plagiarist."
"You get what you deserve," Han Sooyoung said nonchalantly. "Are you going to be tired
tonight?"
"Dead tired," Kim Dokja nodded.
"Tomorrow then," Han Sooyoung sighed.
"What tomorrow?"
"Going out for drinks," Han Sooyoung said as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I
haven't seen you for years and you didn't expect we'd go out to have a drink?"
"We've seen each other,"
"Video calls don't count."
Kim Dokja hadn't come up with a big, fancy plan when he booked the flight tickets to Seoul. He
didn't even have an itinerary planned. He was just planning on staying there for a few months,
enjoying time with his family and friends and seeing where else the tide of time would take him.
But, yes, he was supposed to he should settle somewhere now that he had a child. And it made
sense that she would be in Korea, considering that Bihyung was mostly in Seoul as well.
When he found out that he might have to stay for work purposes, he was only glad to do so.
"You're doing what?" Han Sooyoung had said incredulously when he told her that he was going to
pose as a contract worker to see the condition of a company he wanted to incorporate into his to aid
his wonderfully thought-out plans.
"You want to play spy? Are you really working or are you just a young chaebol who's fucking
around for fun?"
"What are you talking about? I'm doing something important."
"Bullshit, you enjoy this shit, don't you?"
"Hey, what's wrong with enjoying my work?"
"You're a fucking dumbass."
Kim Dokja would admit, he quite liked doing these role-play scenarios. It made his dull life pretty
interesting. He even got to make himself a backstory and character personality.
Han Sooyoung thought the temporary apartment that Kim Dokja had bought looked absolute shit,
but it did fit the role he was playing of a poor salaryman working a shit job.
Perhaps that's where life started getting freaky.
No, maybe it started getting freaky a long time ago itself, like when he was fifteen.
Kim Dokja, tired after a hectic day at work 'having fun' as Han Sooyoung would say, and 'actually
working' as he would say, was taking the subway back home. He was thinking about getting to
meet Biyoo and his parents since it was finally the weekend. What should they do tomorrow?
A few people entered the station the train had stopped at and a few left the subway carriage. Kim
Dokja continued reading the newest novel Han Sooyoung had published.
This one was a strange one. He hadn't been given this manuscript to edit, he only got to read the
final product. And Han Sooyoung had done a rare collaboration with another BL author. Right, that
was the strangest thing about this. Han Sooyoung wrote a story that was exclusively romance. She
never writes romance!
And even as he read through the story, Kim Dokja could tell that she had taken way too much
inspiration from his relationship with Yoo Joonghyuk.
Now he knew what she meant by it was fanfiction for him since the male lead was modelled after
Yoo Joonghyuk and took the place of his roommate.
Kim Dokja was still keeping his mouth shut about the whole thing. He thought it was better that
way. He could endure Han Sooyoung teasing him over it, she didn't have to know. It wasn't like it
was something important either.
It was a scream that made Kim Dokja look up from his phone, startled.
One scream became many as people started backing away in panic from the deranged-looking man
brandishing a knife and swearing.
The woman closest pushed something out of the way, trying to scramble farther away from the
knife that was dangerously close to her.
Kim Dokja only noticed that the thing the woman had shoved earlier was a literal kid when the
man sank his knife into the woman's body and blood sprayed out. There were horrified gasps and
the screams intensified.
What was happening?
Kim Dokja blinked.
Prioritize. He had to prioritize things. First, he needed a way to get the boy who was now drenched
in the woman's blood away from the murderer's feet.
Kim Dokja was way too far away to do anything without alarming the one holding the weapon. He
needed something as well. He wished he could signal to the people standing closest to do
something, but they looked way too frightened to even move.
It was by luck that he spotted the plastic box holding a handful of grasshoppers that had skidded
towards him when the boy fell. That should work, at least enough to distract the guy and get
someone to pull the kid to safety.
Seriously, what was he even doing? He should be calling the police!
Kim Dokja quickly walked towards the box and picked it up. Pitching wasn't his speciality, but
after suffering from Han Sooyoung throwing things all the time, he had picked up a few skills as
well.
Aiming for the head, he pulled his arm back and threw the box as hard as he could. The thing
soared into the sky, zooming across the cabin and hit the man squarely on his head. The box broke
open and the grasshoppers leapt out thanks to their newfound freedom.
As the man keeled over backwards, it spurred other people into action. A big muscled man pushed
through the crowd and managed to get to the man on the ground, and kicked the weapon away
from his hands.
"He's unconscious!" the man called and Kim Dokja thought it was a very familiar voice.
He would ponder on it later.
"The kid?" he said, making his way towards the child who was still on the ground, eyes wide,
shaking.
"I've called the police!" someone else called and Kim Dokja was thankful that they had done that.
He should have just got to that first, he would have even, if it wasn't for the murder he had just
witnessed.
Kim Dokja was pointedly not looking at the woman covered in blood. Luckily, someone else had
taken the job to try and staunch the flow of blood with their coat.
He turned his focus onto the boy entirely.
"Kid," he called softly, placing his hand on the boy's shoulder. "Are you okay?"
Of course, he wasn't fucking okay! What was he even saying?
"It's alright. It's alright now."
The train had screeched to a halt when someone pulled the chain, the police were there soon and
Kim Dokja found himself at the police station some time ago, a little boy in blankets, still all
bloody, sleeping in his arms.
"What did they say?" he asked when the man who had helped him out back in the cabin returned.
Lee Hyunsung shook his head sadly.
"Does he have anywhere to go? Any relatives?" Kim Dokja asked, nodding at the boy he was
holding.
Lee Hyunsung's expression darkened. Yoo Sangah who was next to them gasped softly.
"What about his father?" Kim Dokja said. Alright, sure, the mother got killed a few hours ago, and
no known relatives, what about now?
"We don't know."
Well, great. Now what?
"I'll take him home for now, then," Kim Dokja sighed.
"Yes?"
"Pardon?!"
"I have a daughter at home already," Kim Dokja said, worried that they might mistake his
intentions for something bad. "So, I think he should be fine. Once he wakes up, I'll take him to the
hospital for another thorough check-up. Just in case."
He didn't know much about this child except for his name and age which his records showed when
the police looked for his identity.
Ten year old Lee Gilyoung.
"You have a daughter, Dokja-ssi?" Lee Hyunsung said, surprised. Kim Dokja looked up at him.
"Ah, sorry, I'm not sure if you remember, but—"
"I remember you, Hyunsung-ssi," Kim Dokja smiled kindly at the man. "I just wasn't able to find
the right timing to tell you. It's been a while, hasn't it?"
Lee Hyunsung seemed very happy that Kim Dokja had recognised him.
"Yes," the man said. "It's been a while, Dokja-ssi. I'd always wanted to contact you, but I wasn't
sure if you were still in the military."
"Ah, no, I left as soon as I was done with my mandatory service," Kim Dokja laughed.
When Lee Hyunsung's expression fell, Kim Dokja added, "But you wouldn't have been able to get
hold of me anyway. I was aboard up until a few months ago."
"Ah, were you?"
Lee Gilyoung had nowhere to go, so Kim Dokja let him stay. It wasn't like he had to do a lot
anyway.
Lee Gilyoung was a very responsible child, way too precocious. Kim Dokja sometimes saw a
shadow of his younger self in the kid, maybe that's why he was acting the way he was.
"You can leave me at some orphanage," Lee Gilyoung told him one day when Kim Dokja said that
they might have to go shopping to get him new clothes. "I'll be fine. I don't have anyone anyway."
There were so many things Kim Dokja could have told the boy at the moment, but he had to choose
his words carefully.
"You can stay here, Gilyoung-ah," he said, patting the boy's head. "It's okay."
Lee Gilyoung became a part of his life, just as Lee Hyunsung and Yoo Sangah did.
Kim Dokja wasn't sure what about him gave these people the need to stick around him for so long.
Lee Gilyoung, he could understand. But Yoo Sangah, he only knew from work. She was a part of
the HR team and now she was a very good friend. Even Lee Hyunsung, they had met back when
they were in the army. Why hadn't he forgotten about Kim Dokja after so long?
When he posed the question to Han Sooyoung, she just hit him on the back of his head and
laughed.
"Hyung, I found a dead body," Lee Gilyoung told him one evening when he returned home from
work and sent the babysitter away for the day.
"What?"
"I brought it home."
What?!
Lee Gilyoung took him to his room where he had stored the dead body for the time being.
The corpse ended up being a teenage boy with a mop of bleached hair on his head.
"He's alive," Kim Dokja told Lee Gilyoung who nodded, understanding.
"...Should we kill him then?"
"No."
"Okay."
Kim Dokja decided to arrange therapy sessions for the kid. He did go through a very traumatic
incident. He should have done this before, now that he thought about it.
Lee Gilyoung had apparently found the teenage boy unconscious and bloodied up in the dark
corner of the apartment complex a block away and decided to bring him home.
"Don't go too far, okay?" Kim Dokja told Gilyoung, patting his head. "And stay safe, always."
"Okay, hyung," Gilyoung nodded as Kim Dokja went to bring his medical kit to fix up the
teenager.
The boy seemed very familiar. Only when the guy regained consciousness and snapped at Kim
Dokja for kidnapping him did he realise who he was.
Kim Namwoon.
The Kim Namwoon he knew.
Excellent.
Why was this happening, really?
"Shut up if you have nothing better to say," Kim Dokja said, giving a sharp slap on Kim
Namwoon's head. "Why did you get beaten up and thrown in some dark alley? What were you
doing?"
"I didn't get thrown in a dark alley!" Kim Namwoon barked. "It was a fight, that I won. Five to
one."
Kim Dokja wasn't very impressed.
For some reason unfathomable to mankind, Kim Namwoon kept stopping by and Kim Dokja
finally gave up and let him do as he wished.
Though he did have to fix a few of his silly habits if he wanted to stay in his household.
"Don't throw your shoes around," Kim Dokja said. "Keep them in their place."
"Whatever, you OCD jerk," Kim Namwoon sneered. Kim Dokja had heard worse so he didn't rise
to that, and there really wasn't a reason to since Kim Namwoon had done as asked.
"Wash your hands and feet or I'll hack them off," he reminded the boy sharply. Kim Namwoon
followed, even though he did so only grudgingly.
Kim Namwoon started listening to Kim Dokja after Kim Dokja beat him into submission one day
for using way too much foul language in front of his children.
Chapter 27
Chapter Notes
Life seemed very keen on throwing strange people at him.
He decided to take a walk home after a night of drinking with Han Sooyoung at a new bar she
wanted to go to. He had even left the kids at his parents' place in the evening and was looking
forward to a quiet house where he did not have any responsibilities for the night.
He was thinking of the prospect of going to bed with nothing to worry about for a few hours when
he heard muffled whimpers from somewhere.
Dark alleyways were never a good thing, really.
He saw a group of men towering over a pitiful woman on the floor. Her shirt was ripped and her
skirt torn, and Kim Dokja figured out what was going on.
He was getting into a fight again. It hadn't even been three months since his last fight against
criminals. What was happening to his life?
As he kicked a man in the stomach, sending him flying back, Kim Dokja realised he was really out
of shape. He hadn't touched a sword or even a grip strengthener in ages now. He dreaded to think
what Kyrgios would do if he found out his disciple was indeed a lazy son of a bitch.
"Can you get up?" Kim Dokja said, holding a hand out to the woman who seemed to be fighting to
stay conscious. "I've called the police, they will be here soon. It's alright now."
Jung Heewon turned out to be someone much stronger than Kim Dokja had thought she would be.
He had been expecting a teary woman when he went to visit her at the hospital, but he was instead
met with someone burning with fury and a thirst for vengeance.
Usually, he wouldn't have done it, he would have just left after making sure that she was fine, but
the flame in her eyes reminded him of those protagonists he had read so much about that he offered
to help her out with that.
Jung Heewon seemed a bit suspicious of it at first but soon gave in.
And that's how Jung Heewon got added to the ragtag group around him that seemed to be growing
at an alarming rate now.
"Are you really alright for joining us today?" Jung Heewon asked as she leaned on the counter that
she was standing behind, still on her shift.
"Ah, yes, my parents should be able to take care of the kids," Kim Dokja said. "They adore Biyoo
and they've grown to like Gilyoung as well."
"What about the chunni fanboy you have?" Han Sooyoung who was sitting beside him asked.
"Who?"
"She's talking about Namwoon, Dokja-ssi," Hyunsung provided helpfully.
"Ah, that guy," Kim Dokja always got a little headache when he thought about that boy. "I asked
him to sit at home and do his homework. He's got his midterms coming soon and he's already been
held back a year. That kid just won't study."
Everyone seemed to find his misery very funny because they all laughed at it.
"Namwoon's improving though," Lee Hyunsung said. That man was way too kind for his own
good.
"It's amazing how you've managed to get him to do that, Dokja-ssi. He doesn't even listen to his
Captain, and Namwoon looks up to Yoo Joonghyuk-ssi a lot."
"You just have to give him a good beating sometimes," Kim Dokja said, ignoring the pointed look
Han Sooyoung was giving him.
"Did you actually beat him up?" Jung Heewon laughed, passing Yoo Sangah a glass of the drink
she had ordered.
"Not really," Kim Dokja said, slightly sheepish. "Sometimes, he needs a few whacks on his head
though, I'll be honest."
"I still don't get why the kid just stays with you now," Han Sooyoung said, rolling her shoulders
back and fixing her posture. They could all hear the cracks her bones had made. It seemed to alarm
everybody but Kim Dokja who was already used to that. His made the same noise sometimes.
"Same," Kim Dokja sighed.
"I can see why," Jung Heewon said airily. "I mean, I would have."
"I would have too," Lee Hyunsung nodded.
What was that even supposed to mean?
"I think you've gotten attached, Dokja-ssi," Yoo Sangah said brightly. "You have a soft spot for
children and get attached very quickly."
"That's a polite way of saying you need to go to therapy," Han Sooyoung said and Kim Dokja
scowled at her.
"Hey, where's the lie?" Han Sooyoung shrugged, unaffected by his glare.
Han Sooyoung left their gathering first, saying that she had some work to do. Yoo Sangah went
next. Kim Dokja and Lee Hyunsung waited for Jung Heewon to finish her shift so that they could
have a few more drinks together and disperse for the day.
They weren't all that drunk when they left Jung Heewon's bar. In fact, Kim Dokja drank very little.
He was never a good drinker, but he had perfected the art of dragging on long conversations over
drinks without actually getting intoxicated. Dionysus had been kind enough to give him a few
pointers as well.
"I really don't get why Han Sooyoung has two cars when she can't drive for shit," Jung Heewon
was complaining as the three of them set down the street alight with the bright signs hanging above
different establishments.
"It's an ego boost for her," Kim Dokja said. "She's flaunting her wealth the only way she can."
"Can't she buy luxury purses or clothes like normal people?"
"It's just Han Sooyoung's style," Kim Dokja shrugged.
"Do you have a car, Dokja-ssi?" Lee Hyunsung asked.
"I have one, but I don't use it very often," Kim Dokja admitted. "It's there in case I need it for
emergencies. I can't always depend on public transport, can I? If I need to get somewhere quick,
and there are no cabs or buses there quick, I'll be in hot water."
"That's sort of smart," Jung Heewon nodded her approval. "That means you can drive. Are you a
good driver?"
"I like to think so," Kim Dokja smiled awkwardly. "I haven't crashed my car yet, so that's
something, I suppose."
"Hey, that's Han Sooyoung standard, we don't use that for everyone," Jung Heewon joked. "Have
you run a red light?"
"Speeding?"
He shook his head again.
"Dokja-ssi has always been a law-abiding citizen," Lee Hyunsung said brightly and both Jung
Heewon and Kim Dokja had very pitying gazes as they looked at the man.
Kim Dokja was in fact not a law-abiding citizen.
He was thinking of all the crimes he had committed that could send him to jail when a building a
few feet away from them housing an internet cafe burst into flames.
Something seemed to be happening to him, Kim Dokja vaguely thought as he got his phone out and
fumbled to call for help.
People ran out of the building as the fire started bringing down the place.
"Is everyone out?" Lee Hyunsung called loudly, he still found it hard to throw away his army
lieutenant personality sometimes.
They were not. Kim Dokja had noticed the boy who had tripped just a few feet away from the
entrance, and so had Jung Heewon.
"There's—Someone," a person who had come out a few seconds ago rasped, collapsing to the
floor, coughing the smoke out of their lungs.
There really was something about South Korea that messed with him.
"Dokja-ssi!" Jung Heewon screamed as Kim Dokja ran in. He wasn't thinking all that much,
truthfully. He just thought he could make it out before something terrible happened and he saw
someone die in front of his eyes. He had had a bad enough experience less than six months ago, he
didn't want another one just yet.
Jung Heewon's slaps burned his back.
"Dokja-ssi, what were you thinking?!" she yelled, hitting him as they sat, waiting at the hospital.
"I'm not hurt, Heewon-ssi," Kim Dokja assured her. "I would have been fine. I was sure I would be
able to make it out fine when I decided to do it."
"Are you a professional, Dokja-ssi?" Jung Heewon scolded. "Do you think you can brave death just
because you think so? Dokja-ssi, anything could have gone wrong back then! You just had to wait
for the firefighters to come."
"They could have been too late," Kim Dokja muttered.
Jung Heewon inhaled deeply.
"Dokja-ssi," she said, much calmer now. "I'm not saying what you did was a bad thing. I could
never say that you know that, right? But you could have died just then. You could have died back
then, that night. Those men had knives, Dokja-ssi, do you remember?"
"Heewon-ssi, I'm not that weak," Kim Dokja had to remind her.
He wasn't really sure why even this didn't work in his favour and didn't comfort Jung Heewon.
Lee Hyunsung was much nicer about the whole thing and honestly, Kim Dokja preferred him.
"Day seventy-nine, the Kim family grows," Jung Heewon commented, smirking widely. Everyone
found this funny as well.
"Donghoon-ah, tell me if you need something, okay?" Kim Dokja said to the closed door and soon
he got a text on his phone saying 'Okay hyung'.
"I'll bring you snacks in some time," he said and he smiled at the dancing bear sticker the other
boy sent him.
He went back to the living room where everyone was sitting, cramped up. It was a small place,
clearly not meant to house so many people.
"Do you have some kind of condition?" Han Sooyoung said when he headed straight to the kitchen
to get all these guests of his some food and drinks.
"Why do you go around picking up kids, dude?"
"Why are you saying it like it's a bad thing?" Yoo Sangah said crossly. They had some kind of beef
between then, Yoo Sangah and Han Sooyoung.
Han Sooyoung had beef with everyone, but it was worst with Yoo Sangah. She was a bit better
with Jung Heewon, often joining hands when it came to making fun of Kim Dokja.
"The Kim Dokja species have a tendency to pick up helpless younglings it finds in the wild and
bring them back to its burrow," Han Sooyoung narrated in a typical wildlife documentary style.
"Here we can see the Kim Dokja prepare food to coax the stray young ones to stay in the nest for
long—"
"Can you shut up already?" Kim Dokja snapped over Jung Heewon's loud laughter.
He hadn't planned on taking Han Donghoon in.
He had just gone to check on the kid in the hospital after the fire, to find out that his uncles had
discharged him already even though the doctors felt it would be better to keep him under
observation. The kid's 'uncles' even took the fee Kim Dokja had paid prior to the discharge because
they weren't using the services it was technically paying for.
Kim Dokja had his own experience with relatives who tried to only ever take advantage of the
vulnerable and so he went looking for Han Donghoon, just to see if he was in any trouble.
And turned out the kid was in very bad trouble. Han Donghoon was being locked in a tiny room
with just a PC and internet, not even sufficient food and water and his so-called uncles were forcing
him to run internet scams, help them pirate stuff online and commit other cyber crimes.
So, Kim Dokja ended up beating up more people, calling the police, settling a few budding
disputes and bringing the kid to safety.
Han Donghoon had nowhere to go to either and Kim Dokja thought, why not? It wasn't like it was
going to affect him all that much. He practically already had like three kids back at home, what
was one more?
He would have to move though. The place was getting a bit too tiny for all of them.
Not to mention, Lee Gilyoung should start going to school soon. He was staying home under the
pretences of treatment and Kim Dokja could tell that he did not want to go to school.
Maybe changing to a new school would do better?

What about Han Donghoon? That would be another thing to discuss.
God, Bihyung was going to eat his ears off. Kim Dokja had been spending way too much time
doing everything but working. He had to get to that soon.
"You're moving, Dokja-ssi?" Yoo Sangah asked him on their way home from work one evening.
Yoo Sangah usually cycled to work and back, but today her cycle was at repair and she was taking
the subway.
"Yes, it's getting crowded for all of us," Kim Dokja said. "Now that we have Yoosung also."
"Are you thinking of adopting her?" Yoo Sangah said. "I think Heewon-ssi said you were."
Kim Dokja nodded. "I don't think Yoosung's parents are good people, especially with the way they
have treated her until now. Adopting her would be the easiest way to get rid of any legal trouble."
"Hmm, I see."
Kim Dokja had just happened to find Shin Yoosung one day on his way back home from the park
with Lee Gilyoung and Biyoo. It was late in the evening, and the child was running a high fever,
about to faint.
So he took her to the hospital and the doctors did not have excellent news to give him about her
condition.
Even after days of Yoosung being hospitalised, no one came to get her. Two-year-old Biyoo
seemed to like the girl and liked playing with her, so Kim Dokja offered her a place to stay. Shin
Yoosung took the offer.
Han Sooyoung laughed a lot that day.
It seemed that his family really was growing.
Kim Dokja was a stand-in father for three at the young age of twenty-eight, and an older brother
figure for two others.
"You're moving?!" Lee Jihye cried when he told them that over dinner.
Right, she was there too.
Lee Jihye had burst in through his front door one Sunday morning because she wanted to see who
had taught Kim Namwoon enough moves to be able to land a scratch on her Master's face.
Kim Dokja did not know that Kim Namwoon had actually managed to leave a mark on Yoo
Joonghyuk's face that took weeks to fade. He had just given Kim Namwoon a few pointers when
he said that he often sparred with Yoo Joonghyuk.
He had felt a twinge of pity for Kim Namwoon who was actually trying very hard, so decided to
help him out a teeny bit. He didn't think it would end up like this.
He wasn't sure if Yoo Joonghyuk knew about him yet. He was acquaintances with Lee Hyunsung,
Kim Namwoon and now Lee Jihye. Yoo Joonghyuk was bound to come across his name at some
point during some random conversation. What would he do then? Would he tell these people that
Kim Dokja was just a piece of shit and they would probably believe him, being close for so long
and all that?
They were close, weren't they? Yoo Joonghyuk wasn't sulking around being a loner, was he?
Please, don't let it be that. Let him have matured a bit to let people into his life instead of being so
on guard against everything.
Especially after what he had done.
Well, it couldn't be that bad. He was dating that woman, Lee Seolhwa. And he had Mia. He was
bound to be happy and not lonely. Lee Jihye went around calling him 'Master' and proudly
proclaiming herself his 'disciple'. Kim Namwoon admired his Captain a lot and Lee Hyunsung only
had nice things to say about him.
He was doing fine. He had good people around him.
That's such a relief.
Even though they might have faint ties connecting them now, Kim Dokja wasn't ever planning on
meeting Yoo Joonghyuk. It worked for him best from a distance, everything worked for him well
from a distance.
Lee Jihye thought it was impossible that scrawny ahjussi had actually been the one to do so and
thought that Namwoon had been lying. Until Lee Gilyoung and Shin Yoosung chirped back at her
about how Kim Dokja had actually taught them some basic self-defence because the world was a
dangerous place.
How that developed into Lee Jihye coming over every now and then was lost on him, honestly.
No, seriously, someone ought to tell him. Why was this happening? How was this happening?
"It's getting too small for all of us," Kim Dokja said, getting up from his seat when he saw that Shin
Yoosung had finished eating her kimchi. He would just put some out so that they could take it, in
case they wanted some more.
"Donghoon-ah, text me if you want something too, alright?" Kim Dokja called to the living room.
Kim Dokja's phone vibrated and he saw a little 'OK' text from the boy in question.
Crowded places made Han Donghoon antsy, but that didn't mean he had to eat all isolated. He
could just sit in the living room, listening to their conversation and joining in by texting them if he
felt the need to.
"Is he coming along too?" Lee Jihye said, jerking her head in Kim Namwoon's direction.
"Where else would he go?" Kim Dokja said confused.
Even Kim Namwoon looked surprised at this.
"What?" he said. "Why am I coming with you?"
"You're not?" Kim Dokja said, returning to his seat at the dining table.
"I'm an adult now," Kim Namwoon said. "I'm turning nineteen soon. I can live on my own. I have
money."
"Alright, I know that," said Kim Dokja. "But why does that mean you are leaving?"
"Kids," he turned to the children. "Do you want Kim Namwoon to go?"
"No, I like Namwoon oppa," Shin Yoosung said immediately.
"He's weird, but hyung's nice," Lee Gilyoung nodded along.
Even Han Donghoon sent a text in their group chat reading, "I want Namwoon Hyung to stay".
"Wah, so touching," Lee Jihye grinned as Kim Namwoon grumbled about how he will eventually
have to leave because he was a grown-up now and all that bullshit, but everyone saw his ears
burning red.
"Stop saying nonsense and eat," Kim Dokja told him.
"Where are you going?" Lee Jihye said reaching out to take some of the pickled ginger sitting in a
little bowl next to her left hand. "Did you already buy a place? When are you moving?"
"There's a place near Gilyoung and Yoosung's new school," Kim Dokja said.
The two kids stiffened at the mention of school.
"It won't be that bad," Kim Namwoon who had also noticed this said. "It's just a few years and
you'll go somewhere else. Nothing to write home about."
"What nonsense are you spouting?" Lee Jihye scoffed. "Hey, go and make a lot of friends. Kids
like you make friends easily."
Kim Dokja made a mental note to sit the kids down and talk to them about going to a new school.
If they were any older, he would have considered homeschooling like Han Donghoon who had
severe social anxiety, but they were hardly eleven and needed to get at least some exposure to the
world.
Everyone who had dinner at their place knew the routine where Kim Dokja would hold the
dishwasher open and everyone would give a light rinse to their plates and utensils at the sink, form
a line and load the dishwasher before he put the tablet in and set the machine to work.
"What the hell?!" Lee Jihye gasped, almost dropping her plate and breaking the ceramic when it
was her turn in the little train they had made in the kitchen to put her dishes away.
"What?" Kim Dokja said, alarmed, and startling everyone else as well.
"What is that?" Lee Jihye said pointing at his arm and Kim Dokja looked down sharply expecting
one of Lee Gilyoung's insects or something.
"What's what?" he asked, when he saw nothing.
"That!" Lee Jihye cried, pointing wildly at his arm, and Kim Dokja was still absolutely confused.
"She's talking about your tattoos," Kim Namwoon scoffed from the table. He had already finished
putting his plates in.
"Ah, that," Kim Dokja sighed in relief, thankful that it wasn't his eyesight going bad.
Kim Dokja usually wore full-sleeved shirts, and he had just happened to push his sleeves up to
work with the dishes for a bit, exposing his forearms. He didn't think it would bring out such a
reaction though.
"You," Lee Jihye said as though this was the most otherworldly thing anyone would ever come
across. "You, Ahjussi, you have tattoos?"
Kim Dokja was slightly annoyed.
"Eight actually," he said, motioning her to put her dishes in. She was holding up the line.
"What?!"
"Eight of them," Kim Dokja said, giving up and taking the plate from Lee Jihye's hands and putting
it in himself. That seemed to bring her out of her trance and she put in the rest of her stuff on her
own.
"Really? You're not lying?"
"Why would I lie?"
"I'm going to ask Heewon unnie about this."
"Go ahead," Kim Dokja shrugged. "She doesn't know though. You'd have a better chance with Han
Sooyoung."
"No fucking way man," Lee Jihye breathed and then she groaned when Kim Dokja flicked her
forehead for swearing in the house. She would have thrown a bigger fuss if she hadn't been too
busy getting Han Sooyoung's number from Jung Heewon so that she could confirm this new fact
about Kim Dokja she had discovered.
Kim Dokja was patting Shin Yoosung on her head after she finished washing her hands when his
phone rang.
Why was Jung Heewon calling him now?
"Jihye, what did you do?" Kim Dokja said taking the phone that Lee Gilyoung had brought him
eagerly, expecting more head pats so he could spite Shin Yoosung.
"What? I did nothing," Lee Jihye said, sounding anything but innocent.
"Hello?" Kim Dokja said, answering the call and putting his phone to his ear.
"What is this I'm hearing, Dokja-ssi?" Jung Heewon's smile could be heard in her voice. "Is it
true?"
"What did Han Sooyoung say?" Kim Dokja sighed, figuring out what everyone was on about.
"Why would I believe Han Sooyoung just like that off the bat?" Jung Heewon said. "So, is it true
or not? You have yakuza tattoos?"
"I don't have yakuza tattoos? Who told you that?" Kim Dokja said, casting an exasperated look at
Lee Jihye who yelled, "He does, I saw it, unnie!"
"I do not have yakuza tattoos," Kim Dokja repeated. "They're flowers."
"Flowers?" both Jung Heewon and Lee Jihye said at the same time.
"Yes."
"I need to see them next time, Dokja-ssi," Jung Heewon said. "You have no idea how panicked
Jihye was when she thought you used to be a part of the Japanese mafia, especially since you said
you lived in Japan for a while."
"Really?" Kim Dokja couldn't help but laugh wearily. "I have worked with no mafia in my entire
life."
Lee Jihye flinched slightly and flushed in embarrassment when Kim Namwoon laughed at her for
thinking that Kim Dokja was a part of the mafia. Jung Heewon was laughing as well.
"It's a nice neighbourhood," Yoo Sangah said pleasantly, holding the car door open for the kids to
hop out as Kim Dokja went to help Lee Hyunsung and Jung Heewon unload their final boxes of
belongings from the trunk.
He had no idea why they were all eager to come to help him with the moving. He would have
managed just fine, and he had already hired people to do most of the moving and fixing up
furniture, setting up other electronic appliances across the house.
"Holy shit," Jung Heewon breathed once the kids had run into the house after Kim Dokja gave
them the green light and told Kim Namwoon to watch them so that they wouldn't hurt themselves
in the excitement. Han Donghoon was entrusted with holding Biyoo. Biyoo went strangely quiet in
his arms and sat calmly to match the boy's energy.
"You said house. This is a mansion."
"Mansions are larger, Heewon-ssi," Kim Dokja said, taking a box from Lee Hyunsung's hands with
a muttered thanks.
"You didn't tell us you were rich," Jung Heewon narrowed her eyes at him. "Aren't you a salaryman
slaving away at a terrible corporation?"
"My parents found this place for me," Kim Dokja said nonchalantly trudging towards the front
door, now carrying two large boxes in his arms. "I do work for a terrible corporation, but I don't
think I'm slaving away, really. I'm more of a businessman if you think about it."
Yoo Sangah chuckled lightly as she followed him with a box of her own labelled 'SHIN
YOOSUNG'.
She was the only other person in their group, other than Han Sooyoung who knew what he actually
did. Kim Dokja didn't feel the need to elaborate on all that, it wasn't really necessary for the
relationship they had. He was comfortable being just Kim Dokja with them.
Kim Namwoon knew as well since he had met his parents a couple of times. Kim Dokja was
expecting him to go around screaming the news that he was a part of UW, but the boy just kept
quiet about it. He wasn't complaining though.
It was an interesting situation, how Yoo Sangah knew about him. It came as a little surprise when
he found out from Dionysus that she was a spy from Olympus there to monitor him. They had
caught on to him doing his little plays and sent someone to tag along with him at Minosoft; it made
sense now how both he and Sangah had gotten into the company at the same time.
But by that time, she had already been incorporated into their group as a good friend.
Kim Dokja had two options, he decided to take the second one even if it was going to be a bit
arduous. Yoo Sangah, who thankfully also considered him a good friend as well, was fine with
being a double agent. Olympus did not make a lot of fair contracts, so that bit didn't take a lot of
convincing and when their play draws to an end, Kim Dokja could always give Yoo Sangah a place
at his company.
When Han Sooyoung found out about this, she was livid. She and Yoo Sangah had a fierce fight
over that and didn't speak to each other for months until Kim Dokja forced them to reconcile
somehow.
"How many rooms do you have?" Jung Heewon joked as they finished bringing all the boxes from
the cars inside. The kids were still running around, even Biyoo had taken to crawling, Han
Doonghoon trailing after her to make sure that she didn't hurt herself.
"There'll be a few extra," Kim Dokja straightened his back. "Just in case you guys come to stay
over for a while."
Jung Heewon looked very surprised at this, Lee Hyunsung was touched to tears.
Kim Dokja thought they would have barged in anyway. Did he seem so detached that it seemed
like he didn't care for them? He considered them good friends of his actually.
"Have you spoken to Dokja-ssi in a while?"
Jung Heewon wouldn't call Han Sooyoung often, but this time the situation was a bit dire. Kim
Dokja had gone off the radar, and if they didn't have Kim Namwoon telling Lee Jihye who got in
touch with Jung Heewon and Lee Hyunsung, they wouldn't even know if Kim Dokja was alive.
"Namwoon says he is fine, but I don't believe that," Jung Heewon said into her phone.
Han Sooyoung let out a loud sigh.
"He's like that sometimes," she said. "I've checked on him. He's alive."
"And is that all that matters?" Jung Heewon snapped.
"Yeah," Han Sooyoung said roughly. "Sometimes, that's all that matters."
Then she groaned softly. "Give him a few days, he'll be back. If he's not, then we'll have to go drag
him out."
"Why does he keep doing this?" Jung Heewon complained. "The kids are getting worried."
"The kids live with him."
"Yes, and they rarely ever see him much! Does that even make sense? What is that guy doing?"
Han Sooyoung didn't elaborate on what she knew about Kim Dokja, she only sighed heavily.
"Give it a few days," she said. "At least we know his address."
"It means that when he goes travelling, you'll be shitting bricks," Han Sooyoung snapped. "If you
continue getting worried about that guy at every little thing, you're going to stress for the rest of
your life. Give it a break."
"He's my friend!" Jung Heewon replied heatedly. "You might not care about him enough—"
"You don't know jackshit about Kim Dokja," Han Sooyoung could be brutal when she got really
angry. "He might be all nice and friendly and call you friends and all, but you don't know him like I
do, okay? I know what I'm saying. Give him a few days."
Han Sooyoung's few days were almost a whole week that worried everyone so much. They all
lived in the same city, if they wanted they could go meet each other, they had done that too, going
over to Kim Dokja's place to check on him. But he was ever so distant, locked in his room, glued to
his phone and laptop barely sparing them a few words and tight smiles.
It felt so disturbing how there seemed to be nothing they could do when Kim Dokja decided to take
a few steps back and sit in the dark doing whatever he was doing.
Han Sooyoung's temper when it came to the topic started making sense. She had been dealing with
this for years, she knew Kim Dokja's habits; it wasn't that she wasn't worried or didn't care, she just
knew how he behaved.
"What do you mean you have to go somewhere?" Lee Hyunsung asked nicely instead of Jung
Heewon was ready to threaten Kim Dokja into submission.
"Ah, I have some work to attend to," Kim Dokja said blithely, a tone that irked all of them. "I will
be gone for less than a week. I just thought I'd tell you. You really don't have to worry about me."
He even chuckled to further annoy them.
"What about the kids?" Yoo Sangah said.
"Han Sooyoung said she'll check in on them," Kim Dokja said. "And I've arranged for a
housekeeper to come in for the time being. They're paid to cook as well, so it won't be a problem
for the kids."
"I'm not talking about that, Dokja-ssi," Yoo Sangah said, smiling widely. It felt a bit chilly all of a
sudden. "Did you talk to the kids about this? How did they act?"
"They are nice kids," Kim Dokja said, treading carefully. "They were very understanding."
Han Sooyoung had a very tired expression that said, 'Now you know what I have to deal with'. And
they sort of felt the exhaustion.
"Where are you going?" Jung Heewon asked.
"You don't have to worry about that, really," Kim Dokja said. "I'll just be gone for a while. Less
than a week, really. You won't even notice."
Was this his idea of being considerate and polite? Well, he was failing wonderfully!
"That's not—Dokja-ssi, I don't think that's what Heewon-ssi was trying to say," Lee Hyunsung said
tentatively, his shoulders sagging as well.
It infuriated Jung Heewon so much when Kim Dokja had the nerve to look mildly confused at this.
Before she could bark at him, Han Sooyoung let out a sigh.
"Send pics," she said, pulling her phone out and fiddling with it.
"I'm going for work," Kim Dokja said.
"Don't care," Han Sooyoung waved it away. "Send nice pics. If you send shitty pics just to spite
me, I'll skin you alive. I'm making a group chat with all of us. I'm telling you, you better send
wallpaper-worthy pics."
Kim Dokja did send them pics.
They caught on to Han Sooyoung's methods. Even though he might not find enough time to
actively chat or call them, Kim Dokja would send a couple of photos every day and they would
respond to it.
Kim Dokja's silences could be very scary.
And it became obvious soon that it terrified Han Sooyoung the most. She would keep asking
seemingly irrelevant but annoying questions about where he was staying, which hotel, which street,
to send a picture of what he had eaten that day, if he was even going to sleep. And even though this
was clearly aggravating, Kim Dokja would answer every single question of hers.
"Are you dating?" Jung Heewon found it in herself to ask.
"Don't you have anything better to do?" was Han Sooyoung's condescending reply as though that
was a question not even worth considering.
Yoo Sangah had to confirm that they were not dating since Han Sooyoung hadn't given a straight
answer.
Life was fucking with him.
This was just bullshit, really.
No, he had sort of expected that he would be skirting around in close proximity to Yoo Joonghyuk
since he was acquaintances with a lot of his friends, but this was not what he thought would
happen.
Yoo Mia was in his house, sitting in the living room, playing board games with Yoosung and
Gilyoung. His kids didn't have much trouble when it came to board games since there always
seemed to be people in the house willing to play with them. It wasn't the same for Mia, so she was
very excited about the whole thing.
Kim Dokja was slightly hurt that Mia no longer recognised him and he had gone from 'Dokja
Oppa' to 'Squid Ahjussi', but he supposed it was bound to happen.
Yoo Joonghyuk might have forgotten about him as well, the only silver lining. Maybe he had faded
to a vague memory of someone he disliked a lot. That would make things easier, honestly.
Yoo Joonghyuk was actively trying to meet Yoosung and Gilyoung's guardian and Kim Dokja was
working just as hard to avoid him. He kept asking Bihyung for favours and was even thinking of
hiring a driver to get them to and back from school. He would have done that without a second
thought if it weren't for the kids' excitement when it came to going to school with him and waiting
for him to pick them up in the late afternoon.
He wasn't sure if it was fortunate or not that things were starting to get busier for him. The chance
to get out of the country came often and he took it when he saw it.
"Ahjussi," Shin Yoosung called, making him look up from the laptop balanced on his knees as sat
on the sofa, watching the kids.
"Can we go to Mia's place tomorrow?" she asked. "Her oppa's making dinner too."
Kim Dokja would trust Yoo Joonghyuk with anything. That guy was still nice to others in his own
way. When he heard that Yoo Joonghyuk had offered to take in Yoosung without a second thought
when he heard about her story from Mia, Kim Dokja thought he felt pride and fondness swell up in
his chest.
He let that feeling sit there and settle as it always had.
He thought his doing this was what Han Sooyoung often got pissed about and said he was 'refusing
to move on'. Personally, Kim Dokja didn't find the need to move on. It wasn't unbearable from a
distance. It was even pleasant.
Han Sooyoung thought this was absolutely shitty logic and that he was touched in the head for
thinking something like that, but then again, Kim Dokja did have some wiring gone wrong up in
his head. This was his least detrimental issue if he thought about it.
"Alright," Kim Dokja smiled. "I'll arrange a car for you."
"No need," Mia said. "Oppa said he'll come and pick us up. He'll drop them too. I want a sleepover,
but Oppa said some other time when we don't have school."
"You can still have sleepovers when you have school though?" Kim Dokja said, confused.
"I know right!" Mia cried. "You have to tell Oppa, Ahjussi. He doesn't understand at all
sometimes."
Kim Dokja couldn't help but chuckle. Mia might be a bit sharper and rougher around the edges
now, but she was still adorable sometimes.
"You'll be back by seven again?" he asked.
The kids seemed saddened by that but nodded anyway. Did they want to stay longer with each
other? But they were always together in school, and after. Were all friendships among kids like
this? Kim Dokja wouldn't know, he didn't have any friends at that age. He should ask someone else
then, maybe Yoo Sangah, she seemed the kind to have been popular among her peers.
"Will you be home, hyung?" Gilyoung said, looking slightly hopeful.
"I think I'll be back by eight thirty, nine," Kim Dokja said, making sure to give a nice time gap so
that he wouldn't have to run into Yoo Joonghyuk. "And I'll be there to put you to bed, okay?"
"Okay!"
"Okay!"
Kim Dokja's first thought when he found out that his kids were friends with Yoo Mia was to pack
everything up and run. But he couldn't do that anymore, it wasn't just him. He couldn't do that to
his kids, especially when they had just found a good friend and were starting to enjoy school.
So he bit down on all that apprehension of his and told himself that as long as he managed to stay
out of the radar, Yoo Joonghyuk didn't even have to know who this 'Kim Dokja' was.
He didn't know how long this charade would last, but he was hoping it would for as long as
possible.
Chapter End Notes
Honestly, where is this story going?

I want to write the good part already! When's the good part coming?
Chapter 28
The long time wasn't long enough.
Then again, it was pretty impressive that he had managed to go on with it for almost a whole year.
SSSSS-grade Infinite Regressor was getting made into an anime and Kim Dokja had laughed along
hysterically with Han Sooyoung when the writer got the email. It was a novel that meant a lot to
both of them.
Kim Dokja still pestered her about Ways of Survival, but SSSSS-grade Infinite Regressor had
grown on him now, getting a webcomic adaptation, then a physical copy that sold internationally in
four different languages. And now an animation. Han Sooyoung said she was looking forward to a
live-action film soon. Kim Dokja was dreading the day that would happen, he had already seen his
beloved characters and story get butchered bit by bit.
Then Han Sooyoung called a gathering to celebrate this success, asking him to bring a plus one by
threatening to leak a few of Kim Dokja's embarrassing pictures when he had gotten his hair
coloured due to Uriel and Sun Wukong's insistence a few years back, to the rest of their friend
group.
Kim Dokja found a loophole in her task and asked Yoo Sangah who was going anyway to come
along with him. They could just get off work together and head to the restaurant Han Sooyoung
had invited them all to.
They were running a bit late because the train had stopped for a while due to some issues.
"It's honestly impressive how she made it this big with just one novel," Yoo Sangah was saying as
they headed towards the brightly lit restaurant.
"Why don't you tell her that, Sangah-ssi?" Kim Dokja said, pushing the door open and motioning
for Yoo Sangah to walk in, which she did with a polite smile.
"That would send her ego to the moon," Yoo Sangah said. "We wouldn't want that."
"I think she would like it if you told her that," Kim Dokja chuckled. "But yes, her ego would be a
bit troublesome to handle."
"Kim Dokja!" Han Sooyoung's voice met their years and Kim Dokja turned his head in the
direction of the noise. He saw Han Sooyoung waving excitedly at him, grinning and his own smile
grew.
Then he noticed Jung Heewon and Lee Hyunsung beside her. He recognised that white hair as
well, did Han Sooyoung actually call Lee Seolhwa to their gathering? Oh, well, it should be fine. . .
He thought too soon.
Kim Dokja felt every muscle in his body pull taut when he spotted the man he had been
desperately trying to avoid.
His first thought was to blame Han Sooyoung. Then he remembered that she didn't know about this
at all.
His third thought was to blame Han Sooyoung again. He'd told that witch time and time again not
to set him up with Yoo Joonghyuk, and that he was not interested in meeting the man in person.
Goddamnit, Han Sooyoung.
His heart was beating so loud that it was the only thing he could hear as he sat down at the table
somehow.
He had seen this face every day for years now, why was he acting like this? Of course, it was only
through a screen, but even so! Shouldn't he be used to this?
No, he could do this. He had gone through worse, he had managed to break business deals with
partners worse and harder to deal with than Yoo Joonghyuk. He had escaped attempts at his life by
hired hitmen, he could do this.
He wasn't sure if it was because the others had noticed his distress, but their actively trying to talk
to him was making things easier. He just had to focus on their voices and their faces and let
everything else fade into the background.
One issue with this, Yoo Joonghyuk was never someone he could just push back into non-
existence. He caught himself glancing at the man every few seconds and berated himself in his
head for that. Why was he acting like this when he was the one who decided to break it all off?
It became very clear that Yoo Joonghyuk utterly despised him now, especially by the way he was
glaring at him.
"Dokja-ssi, I am very upset. I just wanted to thank you. Is it so hard to let me do that?" he focused
on Lee Seolhwa exclusively.
It did not help at all.
"Ah, Seolhwa-ssi, there is no need for that," Kim Dokja laughed. Please don't let it be obvious. "I
just did what anyone else would have done."
"Out of everyone watching on that afternoon, you were the only one who helped, Dokja-ssi," Lee
Seolhwa said and Kim Dokja felt guiltier.
He wouldn't have done it if he didn't know her. Kim Dokja had happened to meet Lee Seolhwa
completely by chance and the only reason he had even bothered getting out of his car to help was
because he knew that she was Yoo Joonghyuk's girlfriend.
He didn't deserve gratitude for doing something out of his own selfish desires, really.
"Just say you're welcome when someone says thank you," Jung Heewon scolded. "And if someone
says they'll treat you say 'Ah, then I'll enjoy my meal'."
"Dumbass," Han Sooyoung chimed in.
Kim Dokja only smiled.
He wanted to go home. He really wanted to go home and maybe lie down with Biyoo for a bit. His
head started throbbing again. He really wanted to lie down somewhere.
Kim Dokja thought he had been doing pretty well until Jung Heewon dropped the question that sent
the rest of the night barrelling down to hell.
"Hey, I've been meaning to ask you this for a while now, why're you glaring at Dokja-ssi?"
Kim Dokja stiffened when Yoo Joonghyuk rose at the question.
What the fuck?! Come on! This was rubbish! Kim Dokja was an expert at controlling his
expressions and body language. What the fuck was he doing right now?
He inhaled sharply.
It was just the shock of seeing Yoo Joonghyuk, he told himself. He hadn't mentally prepared
himself for this and the shock wasn't given enough time to settle and he wasn't able to process it
just yet.
He should do that then.
Before he could do that, however, Yoo Joonghyuk opened his mouth.
"Kim Dokja."
Kim Dokja looked up at him immediately. It was a reflex reaction, he hadn't meant to do it. Yoo
Joonghyuk just sounded so tired. He probably hated meeting him and was having a tough time too.
"Explain."
"You two—Did you know each other before this?" Lee Seolhwa asked.
She didn't know? Yoo Joonghyuk didn't tell her? Kim Dokja was of the impression that she was
already aware of whatever their relationship used to be and had been acting very carefully around
her all this time.
It made sense if he thought about it, it wasn't something anyone would talk about with pride. And
maybe Yoo Joonghyuk was just taking his time telling her. Was it even something worth telling?
Kim Dokja wrenched himself out of his thoughts, he had another task at hand.
"We used to know each other when we were at college," Kim Dokja smiled. "We were actually
roommates for a while."
Han Sooyoung froze.
"You knew this loser?" Han Sooyoung cried. "When we were at uni?"
"A bit," Kim Dokja could see the puzzle pieces clicking together in Han Sooyoung's head as her
expression slowly changed. She had figured it out now. No more hiding.
"Why are you two acting like this then?" Jung Heewon said.
Kim Dokja laughed lightly. "About that. I think we had a bit of a disagreement and sort of fought?"
Wasn't that what happened in a way of speaking? He didn't really need to elaborate on this, did he?
"Wow, how many years ago was that? Are you still fighting? Did you do something bad, Dokja-
ssi?" Jung Heewon said, nudging him in the ribs. "Do you owe him money or something?"
"Why do you think that?" Kim Dokja said. "I don't think we're still fighting. It is just a bit
awkward."
Awkward was a great understatement, Kim Dokja thought as he watched Yoo Joonghyuk pass food
to Lee Seolhwa. He turned his eyes away. This was a fucking mess.
It was a good thing he had his meds for his headache. It was only progressively getting worse.
"Okay, cool, great," Han Sooyoung's voice was loud, it made his head hurt more. But he was still
thankful for it.
"You guys are ruining the vibe here. Can you not?" she groaned. "Kim Dokja show me a picture of
the little furball and I'll forgive you."
Right, he could always just look at his kids' pictures instead of popping a few pills and guzzling
down water.
Everyone seemed to like that idea as well, so he pulled his phone out.
"Who are you talking about?" Lee Seolhwa asked.
"Ah, my daughter," Kim Dokja said happily showing one of his favourite photos of Biyoo. It was
one he had taken recently. He always liked showing off his kids' pictures to others. His lovely
children were just too cute.
That didn't mean he was just going around showing them to random people, only to people he liked
and trusted.
"Oh, my fucking god," Han Sooyoung muttered. Very strange reaction, but he wasn't going to think
about that now. Not when he was staring at Biyoo's adorable smile.
Everyone seemed to agree with his sentiments of Biyoo being a cure for aching souls.
"How old is she, Dokja-ssi?"
"She is turning four this year. This is an older video I still like to watch."
"I know this one," Lee Hyunsung grinned.
"Oh, my, she is just so adorable," Lee Seolhwa cooed as she watched the video of Biyoo calling for
Kim Dokja.
Kim Dokja remembered the day she had called him 'Appa', well, what she said was more 'Ah-
baat!', but the sentiment was carried across just fine, and he had almost cried. She could call him
"Appa" much more properly now, with the cute little lilt that toddlers have. He needed to take a
video of that too, just so that he could have more adorable content with him on his phone.
"She looks a lot like you, Dokja-ssi," Lee Seolhwa said.
"She does, doesn't she?" Kim Dokja said brightly. "I was surprised too!"
"Did you expect her to look like her mother?" Lee Seolhwa said and everyone shuffled.
They were already aware of Biyoo's story and they all sort of disliked Biyoo's biological mother.
Kim Dokja wondered where that woman was now and what she was doing, but oh well, it didn't
matter anymore.
"I'm sorry," Lee Seolhwa seemed to be getting the wrong idea. "I didn't know it was a painful
memory."
"She does look like her mother though," Kim Dokja laughed to reassure her. "It's a long story. But
she's not exactly my biological daughter."
He swiped through his gallery to find a rare picture of Bihyung. It was one they had taken the day
they got Biyoo out of the centre.
"This is her biological father," Kim Dokja showed the picture to Lee Seolhwa. "On the official
records, I might have adopted her, but I've raised her since she was a baby and consider her my
own."
"Is that your partner, Dokja-ssi?"
Bihyung was his partner, but not in the romantic sense. Business partners, sure, in a way. He'd
rather kill himself than marry Bihyung. That's bullshit.
"Oh, no, we're more or less, how do I put it, something like friends?"
A loud sound caught everyone's attention.
Yoo Sangah hissed a little and piled paper napkins onto the soy sauce that had spilt onto the table
and effectively stopping it from spreading any further quickly.
Kim Dokja looked at the source of the noise. Yoo Joonghyuk looked furious for some reason. The
laugh that left his mouth held no mirth or warmth, it was horribly condescending if anything.
Kim Dokja felt the tiniest prick of guilt, and then indignance flared up in its place. He hadn't said
anything wrong. Even friends were something way too soft and nice for whatever he and Bihyung
were. Yoo Joonghyuk knew nothing about that. What was he reacting like that for?
"What?" Kim Dokja said stiffly.
Yoo Joonghyuk looked up at him darkly and said, "You have commitment issues."
Kim Dokja felt a shiver run up his spine and he forced himself to stand his ground. "You don't
know anything, Yoo Joonghyuk."
"And?"
And what? Wasn't it obvious? He hated him now, so for what reason was he still trying to pick a
fight with him? They had cut off ties, and Kim Dokja had done nothing to bother him after that.
And Yoo Joonghyuk clearly disliked him now, so what the fuck was this man doing instead of
ignoring him?
"Oi, you two," Han Sooyoung spoke. "Can you stop being drama queens and talk this shit out?"
"There's nothing to talk about."

"Not required."
"Bullshit!"
"Han Sooyoung," Yoo Sangah said warningly.
"I know, I know," Han Sooyoung snapped. "You two—You two stubborn bastards with shitty
communication skills, stop dragging everyone into your mess. Sit down, discuss it and get it done
with."
"Han Sooyoung, don't butt into this," The ache in his head was doing Kim Dokja no favours.
"If there is anyone in this world who gets to butt into your stuff, it's me!" Han Sooyoung said
heatedly. "I am not going to watch you do something stupid just because of this. I won't do it
again."
Ah, that was true. Han Sooyoung had seen him go through that time. It only made sense that she
would act like this.
"Explain things properly, you little shit," Han Sooyoung said.
Kim Dokja resisted pressing his hand to his forehead and looked at Yoo Joonghyuk.
He looked disgusted now. Why?!
"You told her?"
"I didn't!" Kim Dokja cried.
He had no idea why he was acting like he had gotten committing a crime. He could tell his friends
whatever he wanted. What right did Yoo Joonghyuk have to tell him that he couldn't?
"Do I look like an idiot to you two?" Han Sooyoung snapped. "How long do you think I've known
you two, huh?"
As Han Sooyoung scolded the two of them with Jung Heewon attempting to shut her up and
failing, Kim Dokja felt the food he had eaten a few seconds ago taste weird in his mouth.
"If I could donate common sense, I would," Han Sooyoung grumbled.
When Kim Dokja felt his phone vibrate, he looked down hoping that it would give him an
opportunity to leave. But it was just a text from Han Sooyoung.
She had sent him Yoo Joonghyuk's number with a loud message reading "TALK IT OUT,
DUMBASS".
"This is unnecessary," Kim Dokja breathed.
"You don't get to decide that," Han Sooyoung snapped at him. Kim Dokja would have protested
some more, but he saw the look in Han Sooyoung's eyes. She was feeling sorry for him.
Usually, Kim Dokja would have hated getting pity from anyone. But he supposed Han Sooyoung
had earned the right to do so, just like his parents and master had.
"Han Sooyoung, stay out of this," Yoo Joonghyuk said coldly.
"Oh, you shut up, you lousy bastard," Han Sooyoung shot back.
The chair scraped loudly against the floor when Yoo Joonghyuk got to his feet, slapped some
money on the table and stormed off without a word.
"That shitty loser," Han Sooyoung grumbled, glaring after Yoo Joonghyuk.
Kim Dokja closed his eyes. He was so, so tired.
But he couldn't be tired just yet. Now that Yoo Joonghyuk had left, his focus wasn't on a single
entity and he realise that he was surrounded by people who he was worrying at the moment.
So he opened his eyes, reached out for the glass of water in front of him and took a few controlled
sips. He didn't want to show them that he was too anxious by drinking all of it even though he
wanted to.
"I'm sorry about that," he said softly, putting the glass down. "I've shown you such an embarrassing
side."
"Dokja-ssi, what even happened?" Lee Hyunsung said quietly, his head whipping around to look at
where Yoo Joonghyuk had vanished off to and then turning back to Kim Dokja.
"It's a long story," Kim Dokja smiled sadly. "But in short, we had a big disagreement back when
were still in college."
"I know, I know," he added quickly, laughing a little. "We were youngsters who were just a bit too
hot-blooded. But I suppose it was actually worse than what I thought."
"What did you fight about?" Jung Heewon asked.
"Something," Kim Dokja shrugged and though she frowned, Heewon didn't push it. She did glance
at Han Sooyoung and gauged her reaction to the whole thing.
"You should talk to him, man," Han Sooyoung groaned.
"Sooyoung-ah," Kim Dokja said and Han Sooyoung frowned. "It's not necessary."
"You do this all the time," Han Sooyoung said crossly. She let out an angry huff, then relaxed her
shoulders, threw her head back and said, "Well, forget about all that. Today's about me. Stop
sulking and ruining the mood."
Kim Dokja was glad that she had managed to shift the topic around.
Han Sooyoung and Kim Dokja stayed back in the restaurant for a while after the others left.
"Aren't you going to drink? Not even one?"
"I have to go back home," Kim Dokja shook his head. "The kids are waiting. I don't want to go
back smelling like soju."
Han Sooyoung exhaled through her nose and threw back another shot.
"How did his name not come up once?" she said exasperatedly. "We've talked about him for years.
How did you never mention his name?"
"I did," Kim Dokja said, managing a weak smirk.
"How was I supposed to know that Hyuk-ah was short for Joonghyuk, you bastard?" Han
Sooyoung snapped. "And you think this makes it better? It's only giving me a headache!"
"You've been pining over that bastard—You watch his shitty games even though you understand
very little—You've been doing this all this time—UGH!"
Han Sooyoung threw her hands up, infuriated.
"And you won't even talk to him?!"
"He doesn't want to talk to me," Kim Dokja shook his head. Han Sooyoung gave him a weird look
and then buried her face in her hands.
"Why do you do this to yourself?" she said finally, her voice slightly muffled from behind her
hands, but he heard it crack.
"Do what?"
"Kim Dokja," Han Sooyoung said warningly, dropping her hands and he saw that her eyes were
glazed over with tears of pity for him. "Why do you keep doing this?"
Kim Dokja just poured her another glass. He wasn't drinking, he could take her home if that's what
it took. And he didn't have an answer to her question anyway.
"Are you going to leave?" she said.
"I can't," Kim Dokja told her and she groaned. "The kids have too much here. And I took
responsibility so I can't just leave."
"I hate it when you are like this," Han Sooyoung said darkly. "Seriously, I hate it."
"Sorry," Kim Dokja said, not all that certain what he was apologising for, but he felt like that was
the best thing to do at the moment.
". . .I'm sorry too," Han Sooyoung muttered dejectedly. "You told me that you didn't want to—You
could have just told me that they were the same person!"
She took a deep breath.
"I shouldn't have done that," she said finally. "Sorry."
"Hey, it's alright," Kim Dokja attempted to laugh it off. It didn't work on Han Sooyoung.
"I think we were bound to meet at some point," Kim Dokja said instead, looking away from Han
Sooyoung's withering glare. "The kids are friends with Mia, and I've been trying to stay away, but
it was going to happen some time or the other, you know?"
"I think this was for the best," he said honestly. "Imagine if we had the fight in front of the
children? It could ruin their relationship and that would be horrible."
Han Sooyoung sat in silence for a while, clutching her empty glass tightly in her hand.
"I gave you his number," she sighed. "Just...just give it a try. You know, just talk it out, go back to
being friends or something."
"Do you think we can really be friends, Han Sooyoung?" Kim Dokja said gloomily. "It's way past
that point. . .And I can't do it. It's not right."
"Why not?! What now?" Han Sooyoung cried, slamming her glass down on the table.
"How can I trick someone into friendship when I'm clearly expecting more?" Kim Dokja said as
though it was obvious. "It's just not fair for either party involved and will only end in a disaster.
Has happened once, I won't let it happen again."
"I can't just think about myself," he said pouring the last bit of liquid from the green glass bottle
into Han Sooyoung's little glass. "There are way too many people involved now, we're friends with
so many people now, mutual acquaintances. It'll ruin everything if I try something now."
"Why can't you just be the normal amount of selfish for once?" Han Sooyoung complained. Kim
Dokja had no idea what she meant.
"You either think only about yourself," Han Sooyoung explained to him, finishing all the alcohol
they had ordered a while ago. "Or think about everyone else but yourself. I really hate it when you
are like this."
"Why can't you just be happy? Why are you never happy?"
"I'm happy though," Kim Dokja said blankly.
"No, you're not," Han Sooyoung snapped at him. "You never are. You never let yourself be happy.
And you go around trying to make everyone else, but you just are not. Why can't you just let it be
for once, huh?"
Ah, she was drunk. She would never have said things like this if she wasn't.
Kim Dokja didn't know himself why he was like this. He didn't want to be this way either.
He hadn't meant to worry Han Sooyoung. He should fix himself before the others catch on as well.
For the first time, he wished he hadn't returned. He had a lot more people around him now, a lot
more people he sincerely cared about. Kim Dokja never did well in that area.
Gilyoung and Yoosung were on a video call with Mia when he returned home. Kim Dokja waved
to Mia, patted his kids' heads and told them to go to bed before midnight and made them promise
him that they would.
He headed to knock lightly at Donghoon's room and remind him to get some rest as well. Kim
Namwoon was lying on his bed when he went to check on him.
"Go to sleep," Kim Dokja said looking at the teen who had his legs propped up on the wall, head
hanging off the edge of the bed as he held his phone above his face, texting someone.
"Whatever," Kim Namwoon waved him away.
"Is that Lee Jihye?" Kim Dokja said and Kim Namwoon flinched.
"Don't come off as too desperate, okay?" Kim Dokja said just to watch the boy squirm and he left
the room.
Then he went to Biyoo's room, to find her sleeping soundly. He pulled up the chair that was left in
the room after he brought it there one day, and sat down.
He felt his muscles relax and he closed his eyes. What a tiring day.
Maybe he had to take a sleeping pill today. He could do with some sleep. And tomorrow, he would
wake up, and get to work. Bihyung had been yapping at him about something, he had to take care
of that. He might have to fly to Germany sometime soon, he wasn't sure how long that would take.
He should be back home before Gilyoung's birthday though. Right, he had to arrange something
for Gilyoung's birthday. He should just ask the boy what he wanted and work on that.
Thinking about the kids, Kim Dokja let himself feel the pain in his head and as he focused on it, it
seemed to diminish slowly. He wasn't sure if he was just imagining it, but he felt his headache
lessen slightly and he was going to take any relief he could get.
Sometimes, Kim Dokja wished he had no one around him so that he didn't have to think about
anyone else and just be his true self, selfish down the very last cell. He was aware that he would be
lonely and miserable, but people made him tired sometimes. Not always, just on some, select
moments. He really liked all his friends and the ones he considered his family. It just got a bit too
heavy for him to handle sometimes and he didn't know what to do with all the weight.
Over the years he had found a way to make it easier for him to deal with. It didn't lessen the
weight, it just helped him hold it more effectively.
Everyone had their own stories. And sometimes, he couldn't just be a reader and had to pick up the
role of a side character in their stories.
In his mother, Lee Sookyung's story, he was the son she had sacrificed everything for. He had
heard that she had a bit of a loyal following back in prison, and she had many people who had been
rooting for her when her story came out. Kim Dokja was the character that would fill a few pages,
making the reader indignant and feel sorry for the main character, Lee Sookyung. Kim Dokja was
the plot tool that highlighted Lee Sookyung's strength and perseverance.
Kim Dokja would enter Hades and Persephone's story in their epilogue. They had faced lots of
difficulties, but their love won in the end and they built a strong empire all by themselves. And
then there were probably those few sad chapters after the 'happy ending', where they had issues
with the matter of 'children'. That's where he came in, Kim Dokja was their adopted child that they
loved anyway and solidified their happy ending further. The only way he could adorn their end was
by being the best son he could be, a son who was incredible and stood out from the others, making
his parents proud. That was his role in their story.
To Kyrgios Rodgraim's brilliant adventures, Kim Dokja was the disciple who popped in
somewhere in the third act or something and took up the role of the only disciple he had taken in
years after he had vowed not to. His role here was to be the cheeky disciple who got lectured a lot
by his master, got in trouble sometimes and his master would show up to help him out. He was
something his master would care about and get out of whatever miserable swamp he had been in
before and then set off to new heights as he was always meant to, or regain his previous glory due
to circumstances.
For Han Sooyoung, he was the best friend she had run to rescue. He was the thing that motivated
her and gave her that one push off the edge to fly. His role also extended to being there for her and
letting her be there for him to work out well for the story. A writer and a reader, it was a nice
dynamic. An interesting story.
Like this, he fit into little niches in everyone's stories.
For Gilyoung and Yoosung who had already faced way too many difficulties in their young life, he
was that one adult who helped them out and then watched them from the sidelines, always
supporting them as they grew into incredible people.
It was a similar case for Biyoo. He would do his best to be the doting, supportive, slightly silly
parent figure they needed.
In Lee Hyunsung's story, he was that one very memorable person who gave some ridiculous-
sounding cryptic advice that helped Hyunsung out somehow and made him reach a better place in
life.
In Yoo Sangah's story, he was that colleague turned friend due to circumstances and he would have
a role every now and then to help move the story along.
In Jung Heewon's story, he was the one who helped her out during a dark time and helped her
foster her brilliance. Or at least he liked to think so.
In Kim Namwoon's story, he had a role of a passing-by neighbourhood- hyung who helped him out
every now and then and pushed him to chase his dream by chiding and annoying him.
In Han Donghoon's story, he was the one who rescued him and gave him a hand until his dark arc
ended and he gained back some of his confidence that had been snuffed out by the villainous
uncles of his.
In Lee Jihye's story, he had a much more minor role to play, just popping up every now and then in
filler chapters. It was a similar case for Yoo Mia and possibly for Lee Seolhwa as well.
He was a weird depressed friend to Sun Wukong, Uriel and ABFD, the one they could have a few
funny chapters with despite the seriousness of their lives otherwise.
He was the one Dionysus had grudgingly come to care about in a while after living in a shitty
family situation.
For Bihyung he was the suspicious guy who had come and given him a deal akin to the devil's and
somehow started getting closer into a running gag kind-of relationship.
In some others' stories, he played the role of the antagonist.
He didn't want to think about it, but he had a role in Yoo Joonghyuk's story as well.
He was going to be that one failed relationship that caused a lot of trauma for the protagonist,
causing the protagonist to struggle. He knew that, especially after seeing Yoo Joonghyuk's
reactions earlier. That along with other older issues would create a good scenario for character
development as he learnt to fight it and grow stronger than his demons.
Kim Dokja had wanted to be something more than a best friend that tags along in Yoo Joonghyuk's
story, but he had mucked that up ages ago. That was on him, so now he had to be satisfied that he
got to play at least some role in his story and watch as others he knew naturally came to join the
tale, making it much more dazzling than it was before.
Kim Dokja had an entrance, a role to play, and then an exit.
He could try to stop it as much as he wanted, but unnecessary resistance was not going to bear any
sweet results. The best thing he could do was to let it happen and go with the flow. Enter people's
stories when life pushed him to and exit when it was time. Along the way, if he managed to enjoy
and come to love their stories, it was a bonus point for him.
He thought his role had ended in Yoo Joonghyuk's story, but apparently, it had not. Maybe it would
be like those romantic clichés where the ex suddenly pops up and causes some trouble, further
strengthening the couple's love.
Or it was more of a come-to-terms and acceptance with wounds of the past kind of thing.
Whatever it may be, his role would come to an end eventually, he just wished his exit wouldn't be
too bitter like last time.
He left the room an hour later, after stroking Biyoo's head for a few seconds, brushing her hair out
of her face as she snoozed. He had to fill in his log, take a pill and sleep like the dead for a few
hours.
Yoo Joonghyuk had a shitty night, a shitty sleep where he dreamt of a shitty dream and was now
having a shitty morning.
It was a good thing that Mia was still asleep after having stayed up late last night because his
behaviour at the moment would have been so worrying for her.
As he bustled around the kitchen, preparing breakfast, he kept grinding his teeth in anger when bits
and pieces of the dream he had last night popped up in his head.
It was so infuriating how he had woken up in tears. Literal tears!
Only Kim Dokja could do this to him, that fucking asshole. Only he could make Yoo Joonghyuk
feel so, so, miserable.
"We're friends, of course," Dream Kim Dokja had said, nuzzling into the arms of a tall man in a
nice fancy suit, holding their daughter, matching rings on their hands.
"We're getting married as friends. You are so old-fashioned, Yoo Joonghyuk."
Who the fuck gets married as friends? Stupid, fucking Dream Kim Dokja. That jerk can go fuck
himself and that demon husband-friend-partner or whatever of his. Yoo Joonghyuk had no idea
why, but his dream had conjured up two long horns on that man's head, but he didn't care. They
can both go fuck themselves or each other or whatever disgusting things they did.
Dream Kim Dokja was ruthless.
"God, this is why we didn't work out, Yoo Joonghyuk," Dream Kim Dokja had said coldly. "You
are too clingy, you know? Everyone needs some space of their own. Why are you like this,
seriously?"
"What? You haven't moved on? It's been years, Joonghyuk-ah, are you an idiot? Han Sooyoung
was right, you really are a lousy loser."
"Later? Ah, later, you mean that. I can't believe you. HA! I was just trying to ditch you, man.
Wasn't that obvious when I ghosted you? Dude, you're impossible."
"Come on, did you seriously think I would love you? Love? And you? Who could ever love you,
Yoo Joonghyuk? What are you talking about? I mean, really, what do you have to offer?"
"I could never love you, please, I barely even tolerated you. It was just a pastime, I got bored. It
was just sex, you know. I didn't think you'd be stupid enough to get attached. Jesus, can't you just
fuck off somewhere already?"
What pissed Yoo Joonghyuk off more was that none of this had ever come out of Kim Dokja's
mouth. All this had been created by his own shitty mind that seemed to hate him all of a sudden.
Oh, how he hated Dream Kim Dokja! Dream Kim Dokja was the absolute fucking worst. It was a
good thing he wasn't real or Yoo Joonghyuk would have committed homicide and gone to jail.
Yoo Joonghyuk didn't know what the real Kim Dokja thought, but he thought the man was better
than the scumbag his mind had made him out to be in his dream last night.
His mind was just fucking with him, making him cry over all of this.
It made him cry, damn it!
When Kim Dokja in his dream said that he had never loved him and could never love him, Yoo
Joonghyuk had fucking dissolved into tears in his dream.
Why couldn't he just have punched the other man in his dream? Why couldn't he even do that
much in his dream? In real life, it was understandable. Real life had consequences and he couldn't
just punch people because he wanted to. But it was just his dream, he could have done anything
and he chose to fall at Kim Dokja's feet and cry.
His mind had created a perfect villain and he just had to go and act pathetic. Of all the things he
could have done, he grovelled. Where was his own self-respect? Did his dignity mean nothing to
his own mind?
Motherfucker!
He had moved on. He really had. He would swear it in front of any court, any god, anyone. He had
moved on from Kim Dokja years ago. He barely even thought about that guy.
Until he met him yesterday and everything, all his years of work, came crashing down.
Yoo Joonghyuk had never minced ginger and garlic more finely in his life. He had heard
somewhere that if the food was cooked with bad intentions or negative thoughts in mind, it would
turn out bad.
He would taste it and if it tasted like shit, he would chuck it all out and make something better for
Mia. He wasn't feeding her negativity-infused food because he was in a bad mood, no fuck that.
Luckily, the food tasted just fine and Mia enjoyed it as well.
Yoo Joonghyuk went to the gym in the afternoon just so he could take out all his frustrations on the
punching bag and exercise all his feelings out. Once his head was cleared and he had calmed down,
he would go home, cook a nicer meal and relax.
It really wasn't worth all this trouble.
He would never see Kim Dokja again. He didn't want to see that man again.
So what? So what if he had moved on and was still not comfortable with meeting that person? It
was a valid reason for him to blatantly avoid meeting Kim Dokja. He didn't care. If anyone
annoyed him about it, he would tell them the truth. Kim Dokja could deal with the aftermath
himself.
And if they all still took Kim Dokja's side and made excuses about them being young and all that,
then that's on them. He didn't care. If they thought that Kim Dokja was better because he was
better at relationships when compared to Yoo Joonghyuk and left him, then so be it. He didn't need
anyone. He had done fine so far, he would continue to do so.
He had Mia, that's all that mattered. He didn't need anyone else. And he believed Lee Jihye and
Kim Namwoon would take his side, even if Lee Hyunsung and Lee Seolhwa seemed to like Kim
Dokja better.
He had a daughter. Kim Dokja had a daughter, adopted or whatever, it didn't matter. He had a
daughter he had chosen and loved.
The pang he felt when he thought about Kim Dokja and his daughter in domestic bliss wasn't
resentment or regret. He just sort of missed that feeling he used to have all those years back, taking
care of Mia together, doing other nonsense, going to class, discussing their jobs, making even big
problems seem like they were nothing just because they had each other.
He just missed that nice feeling he used to have. No matter how much Yoo Joonghyuk tried, he just
couldn't recreate it. He didn't know what it was, but he was never able to get anything like that.
There was no use crying over things that were long gone. He was satisfied with what he had. What
he had was wonderful and he wouldn't exchange it for anything in the world. He was content with
what he had, things were better for him than they had ever been. Mia had even made good friends,
what more could he possibly want?
He had just gone to bed angry last night, and that showed, his dreams were a mess and that ruined
his morning. But now that he was calming down, it wasn't all that bad.
It was just a stupid dream. He didn't have to dwell on it for long. It had just pulled out insecurities
he believed he had gotten over. It just meant there was something he could work on, it wasn't
something necessarily bad. It had just made him a little more self-aware and that was good.
By the evening, Yoo Joonghyuk was in a much better place mentally. He was doing fine.
It didn't matter. It really didn't.
Cooking while listening to Mia was still something that brought him peace. Mia was talking about
all that she had her friends had done in the evening yesterday, what games they played, how they
did, how Yoosung and Gilyoung kept killing each other in the game because they couldn't do so in
real life and all the other funny incidents she remembered.
And listening to her, Yoo Joonghyuk felt the weariness leave his bones.
He was fine and everything was great.

Chapter 29
Chapter Notes
Doodododo
Double update because I have nothing better to do
"Oppa, I don't understand," Mia was saying, very cranky. "Why can't I have a phone? Yoosung and
Gilyoung have their own."
Yoo Joonghyuk did not want to deal with this. How was he supposed to explain this to a stubborn
child? She wasn't old enough to own a smartphone yet. Shin Yoosung and Lee Gilyoung had their
own because of their circumstances and because their guardian thought that, for some reason, it
would be fine to hand barely twelve-year-olds their own handphones.
And how was he supposed to say all this when said kids were sitting at the dining table, waiting
for Yoo Joonghyuk's reply?
So he kept his silence.
"Ahjussi," Shin Yoosung said slowly and since she was usually reasonable, Yoo Joonghyuk was
slightly hopeful.
"I think you should get Mia a phone."
He shouldn't have expected much from children.
"My ahjussi can buy her one, I've asked."
That was not the problem here.
"Hey, why is it your ahjussi?" Lee Gilyoung said waspishly. "He's my hyung."
"He's not yours," Shin Yoosung bared her teeth, her pleasant expression changing.
"He's not yours either."
"Hey, that's not the topic here," Mia said sharply, getting her friends' attention. "We are trying to
convince my Oppa to get me a phone."
"Hey," Lee Gilyoung said. He was still as rude as ever. He just wasn't calling him a sooty bastard
to his face.
"Mia is smart, she knows how to take care of herself. Just get her a phone and we all can text each
other."
"You already do that," Yoo Joonghyuk said.
"Yeah, on your phone," Mia cried. "Oppa, I don't want to keep using your phone. I really will go
and ask Ahjussi for a phone. He'll give me one."
Yoo Joonghyuk had to sit Mia down once the other two were gone and give her a nice talking to.
What on earth had she been doing at Mr Kim's place? And this Mr Kim seemed like the person
who was overly nice and would actually get her a stupid phone. Oh, for heaven's sake! What did he
think Yoo Joonghyuk was teaching Mia?
"Mia," Yoo Joonghyuk said sharply and Mia glared up at him resolutely.
"It's not like I'm going to do anything bad!" she said. "You don't trust me, Oppa?"
It wasn't that.
Kids her age were impressionable. They could get into so much trouble and the internet was not
such a great place either. Seriously, what was Mr Kim thinking? If he hadn't gotten his kids'
phones, this wouldn't have happened.
No, he got where that man was coming from. He was often travelling or very busy with work and
he needed a way to contact his kids. It was all great, but that wasn't the same for Mia's case, was it?
Mia was right here with Yoo Joonghyuk. She did not need a phone.
And even if it was for the reason of 'texting each other' like the kids said, it was too much. They
already had their own chats on their computers and Yoo Joonghyuk had even seen them send
emails to each other talking about whatever kids' stuff they were talking about.
"No, Oppa, listen," Mia said, figuring out that her whining and crying weren't going to help and she
had to see to this reasonably. "We can just use Ahjussi's method. And then you can trust me,
okay?"
"I trust you," Yoo Joonghyuk said, turning around and crossing his arms across his chest, looking
down at his sister who really was as stubborn as him. Yoo Joonghyuk didn't get his own phone
until he was fourteen, Mia was three years too early.
"Then why?" Mia cried.
"Joonghyuk ahjussi," Shin Yoosung said. "You know, our Ahjussi checks our phones to see if there
are any bad viruses and other things."
"We also have to tell Hyung before we download any apps," Lee Gilyoung told him. "We all sit
together and Hyung goes through our phones every month."
"Donghoon oppa will also tell Ahjussi about what we are watching online. Because it can be
dangerous sometimes, there are bad people out there," said Shin Yoosung.
Yoo Joonghyuk would say that was an invasion of privacy, but honestly, did these kids need that
much privacy? They were just being careful. Mr Kim was doing better than he could ever have at it
anyway. And the kids didn't seem to mind that he was going through their phones.
"We really only text, Ahjussi," Shin Yoosung said, searching in her bag to find her smartphone that
surprisingly fit in her hand, very different from how Yoo Joonghyuk's phone looked gigantic in
Mia's little hands.
"And take photos," Lee Gilyoung said going to find his own so that he could present it to Yoo
Joonghyuk as well.
"And call in case of emergencies," said Yoosung.

"There's the calendar. And the alarm-clock thing."
"I sometimes use the notepad to make a list of things to remember."
Why were these kids like this? Weren't they depending a bit too much on technology?
"And calculator, but Hyung says not to use it for doing homework, so I don't," Lee Gilyoung said
sounding rather proud. "Namwoon Hyung uses it sometimes and Hyung gives him a smack on his
head."
Lee Gilyoung fisted his hand and brought it down on an imaginary head.
"But that's because Namwoon Oppa has to learn," Shin Yoosung said, worried that Yoo Joonghyuk
might think of Mr Kim as someone violent and misunderstand again.
Yoo Joonghyuk knew better now, he knew that Mr Kim was just a strangely good person.
"Ahjussi doesn't want him to fail his exams again."
Yoo Joonghyuk could see why everyone liked this man so much. He even understood why Kim
Namwoon respected and admired Mr Kim.
Kim Namwoon had always had issues with his parents and his peers and Yoo Joonghyuk had seen
him relax only after he had met Mr Kim. Lee Jihye said that Kim Namwoon complained about the
man a lot, but then grew to like him.
It made sense. Mr Kim had given Kim Namwoon a place to stay without asking him too much
about why he was running away from home, and he genuinely cared for him.
Yoo Joonghyuk had even seen Kim Namwoon actually work seriously on his school work a while
back because he wanted to improve his grades and "Show that control-freak jerk. Show him I can
fucking study".
It was all thanks to Mr Kim.
Even Lee Jihye had sort of matured now, she no longer picked pointless fights with Kim Namwoon
just to beat him up for being too annoying. She did it with words now and a few rude hand
gestures.
Sometimes, the man seemed like a work of fiction. Was it possible for someone like that to
actually exist?
Yoo Joonghyuk had no idea why he had taken the phone from Shin Yoosung and went through it.
He had just gone with the flow. The kids looked very hopeful, as though they had managed to
convince Yoo Joonghyuk.
Shin Yoosung's camera roll was full of puppies and kittens and other scattered images of people.
He spotted Yoo Mia, Lee Jihye and Kim Namwoon in some of them. He even saw Jung Heewon
and Lee Hyunsung in one.
He closed the app and moved to another one.
Shin Yoosung had a long list of contacts considering that she was just a child.
The one on top was one with a lot of hearts and stars on either side of the name.
'MY AHJUSSI (TO-BE-APPA)'
It was honestly very cute. Yoo Joonghyuk felt his lips curl upwards a bit. He supposed Lee
Gilyoung would have something to match Shin Yoosung reading something like 'My Hyung' or
something.
"Why do you call him Hyung?" the question had slipped out of his mouth before he could stop it.
"Hyung doesn't mind," Lee Gilyoung shrugged. "He says it doesn't matter what we're calling each
other as long as we know it's the other person we are calling."
"Ahjussi says to call him whatever we are comfortable with," said Shin Yoosung.
"I'm not ready yet," she muttered, her cheeks ringing pink. "But one day, I'll call him Appa like
Biyoo."
"I'm still going to call him Squid Ahjussi," Mia said happily since she thought she had managed to
get Yoo Joonghyuk to bend his rule and would now get her a phone.
Yoo Joonghyuk dropped his gaze to the screen.
There was someone called 'Bug Boy' and that was probably Gilyoung's number. He spotted a lot of
familiar names and a few unfamiliar ones.
Each name had emojis next to them. Yoo Joonghyuk didn't know what to think of the spatula and
the chef's hat that was kept near his name. He decided it made sense since he kept cooking them
food whenever they were here. He also liked that 'Mia's Handsome Oppa' was kept in brackets next
to his name.
Only Mr Kim's name was flooded with emojis, others sufficed with one or two. It seemed that the
number of emoticons corresponded with how much Shin Yoosung liked them.
Lee Gilyoung's was probably something like this as well.
Wonder what Mia would name her contacts.
Yoo Joonghyuk closed that app and just swiped past the home screen. The wallpaper was a generic
stock photo of a puppy. There really weren't a lot of apps, just the general ones, and a few games
even he had given a hand at. They weren't anything dangerous. There was even Sudoku.
"You play Sudoku?" he said, rather curious as to why a child would want to play such a game. Did
Yoosung like these games?
"Ahjussi used to play, so I wanted to try," she said. "I can do the easy levels quickly! My record's
eight minutes and thirteen seconds."
Lee Gilyoung clicked his tongue. Either his record was lower or he didn't play the game. Yoo
Joonghyuk was apprehensive about asking in case those two erupted into another argument.
He could already see the beginnings of a fight starting.
"I'll think about it," he said loudly, stopping whatever disaster could have occurred.
"My phone?" Mia said eagerly. "You'll think about it?"

Yoo Joonghyuk nodded.
When he said he'll think about it, it meant that he was leaningly mostly to the positive side and
Mia knew this, hence her celebration with her friends.
"I'll send you all the pictures I take, Oppa!" Mia squealed. Yoo Joonghyuk couldn't really say no to
that, even though he had no idea what he was to do with all the pictures Mia was planning on
sending him.
He might just think about it seriously, getting Mia a phone. And implement that monitoring thing
Mr Kim had going on in his house, it seemed clever and effective and the kids didn't seem to be too
aversive to it either.
Kim Namwoon had his brows furrowed and was glaring at the book in front of him. Sometime
later, he gave up and looked up the solution to the problem on the internet.
What surprised Yoo Joonghyuk was that he marked the question after he figured out how to solve
it, closed the tab and attempted to solve it by himself.
Yoo Joonghyuk had forgotten most of his high school maths and wouldn't be able to solve them
even if he was asked. He wasn't excellent at studying in the first place.
He hadn't been this dedicated to his CSATs. He had just scanned through the course material and
went to give the exam. He had been of the opinion that he wouldn't have to get good grades since
he was already earning money from all the online streaming he had been doing. He even
remembered guessing the answers to a few questions. He had really just gotten lucky with the
whole thing and ended up with a good grade.
Kim Namwoon's wild swearing brought him out of his reverie.
Lee Jihye laughed.
"Can you give me a break?" Kim Namwoon snapped at her, a rare occurrence. Kim Namwoon
followed Lee Jihye around like a puppy and ever since Yoo Mia pointed it out to him, Yoo
Joonghyuk noticed that Kim Namwoon was harbouring romantic feelings towards Lee Jihye. Not
that Lee Jihye was aware or cared about it.
"Why are you even trying so hard now?" Lee Jihye fired back. "You should have done so before.
What's the point of cramming now?"
"You still have time until your CSATs, I don't," Kim Namwoon said, going back to glaring at his
book.
"You never study, dude, what's your issue?" Lee Jihye said, leaning back in her seat and spinning
around to face Kim Namwoon's direction. Even Lee Hyunsung looked up, worried that it might
escalate into a fight between the two teens.
"There's a university I want to get into," Kim Namwoon muttered.
It was very quiet, but they heard him anyway and Lee Jihye's mouth fell open. It really was
surprising.
The Kim Namwoon they knew didn't have a single aim in life and went around saying that the
world was doomed anyway. He had a university he wanted to get into now?
"What?" Lee Jihye said. "What're you going to do?"
"Not sure yet," Kim Namwoon grumbled, his pen scratching away at his notebook. "Hyung
suggested I try for a broader stream. So I was thinking Design."
"Game design?" Lee Hyunsung asked.
"I don't know," Kim Namwoon said. "Whatever I feel like. Something to actually make with my
hands, maybe."
Come to think of it, Kim Namwoon did have a Gundam-building obsession.
"Architecture?" Lee Jihye said making Kim Namwoon lose his patience and chuck his pen at the
wall. "I don't fucking know, man," he snarled.
He closed his eyes and leaned back on his chair. "Motherfucking mathematics," he said darkly.
"Should just go fuck itself. Half that shit's not even useful. Where the fuck am I going to use that in
real life?"
"You literally just said you wanted to design."
"Fuck off for today...please," he added as an afterthought to Lee Jihye's comment.
Kim Namwoon folded his hands over his head, covering his eyes and let out a tired groan.
"I can't wait for this shit to be done," he said.
"Are you not going to continue gaming, Namwoon-ah?" Lee Hyunsung asked softly.
"I don't give two fucks, man. It just won't be fun without you guys," Kim Namwoon said. "You
two're retiring soon, aren't you?"
"I only joined because Conquering King was big back then," he said. "I don't care for gaming."
Yoo Joonghyuk wasn't sure if he should feel offended about it or not. Kim Namwoon was very
talented and he could do well if he continued with gaming. But he just said he had a dream he
wanted to pursue and who was he to stop him from doing that?
"What about you, Jihye?" Lee Hyunsung said and the girl shrugged.
"For now, I think I'll continue gaming," Lee Jihye said. "I really like playing, but the industry isn't
all that great, you know? Especially for girls. Too misogynistic."
Everyone nodded.
"I don't think I'll find a team like ours either," she sighed. "I mean, I just joined because of Master.
. .I'll see where it takes me. I don't have anything planned just yet. I've still got a few years left,
no?"
"One year," Yoo Joonghyuk reminded her and she grimaced.
"Don't remind me, master," she complained.
They were growing up very fast, Yoo Joonghyuk realised. Mia was, and so were Jihye and
Namwoon. Kim Namwoon was soon turning twenty and Jihye was already eighteen. He had met
these two as middle schoolers, and now they were almost off to college.
Time really does pass by quickly.
"Hey," Lee Jihye said slowly. "What about Donghoon? Does he go to school even?"
"Of course, he goes to school, what're you saying?" Kim Namwoon said, dropping his hands off his
face. He tilted his head back to stare at Lee Jihye incredulously.
"He literally doesn't step out of the house," Lee Jihye reminded the boy.
"He's getting home-schooled," Kim Namwoon said. He glanced at Yoo Joonghyuk and for his
benefit, elaborated, "Donghoon's got this social anxiety. It's really bad. He's got a doctor's note and
all, saying he can't go to school like others."
"But he's still learning everything, he's smarter than most, really," Kim Namwoon said.
"Donghoonie is, isn't he?" Lee Jihye nodded her agreement. "You have to see him, master. That
kid's a tech whiz."
Yoo Joonghyuk had heard about Han Donghoon's proficiency with computers and navigating
through the internet before.
"He's a stickler for education, that control freak," Kim Namwoon complained about his 'hyung'.
"Donghoon said he was fine, but that guy found teachers online for him. He said he was home-
schooled as well."
"Ahjussi?" Lee Jihye asked and Kim Namwoon nodded.
"Oh, wow, why?" she said.
"Dunno," Kim Namwoon shrugged. "Said he was sick or something. Not sure about the details."
"It's got to be expensive, no?" Lee Jihye said quietly. "I wonder how much that Ahjussi makes,
really. He always looks like he's about to faint."
That was very concerning. Yoo Joonghyuk hoped it wouldn't come to a day when Yoosung was
crying about her Ahjussi having collapsed. This man seemed to be leading a very unhealthy
lifestyle.
"He'll be fine," Kim Namwoon huffed. "It's Donghoon I'm worried about. He always feels bad
about making that education-horny prick do so much for him, so he studies really hard. He should
learn to relax sometimes."
Kim Namwoon sat straighter in his seat with a frown and grabbed his phone from the table it was
sitting on.
"That kid keeps sitting in front of screens all day," he muttered. "I think he should get his eyes
checked."
Though his tone was rough, those who knew Kim Namwoon well would understand that he was
very worried about the kid. "Tell hyung before I forget again," he muttered as he tapped away
furiously at his screen, typing out a message and sending it.
Kim Namwoon's hyung was named 'Subway Grasshopper' on his phone.
Yoo Joonghyuk thought that Mr Kim had a way of bringing out these strange sides of people, ones
they didn't even know they had.
Mr Kim's influence had brought out Kim Namwoon's good qualities, he was much kinder and more
reasonable now.
He had even managed to tone down Kim Namwoon's edge-lord tendencies. That might as well
have been a miracle.
He still had bleached hair, but he no longer wore bandages on his arm. He was more into piercings
and tattoos these days and Yoo Joonghyuk felt anything was better than what it had been in the
past.
"Is he eating well?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked out of curiosity. "Mr Kim," he clarified when everyone
turned to look at him.
Lee Jihye was grinning and Lee Hyunsung looked at him with a mixture of hope and pity.
"Yeah," Kim Namwoon said slowly. "We all eat at least one meal a day together when he's there.
Some stupid rule he has in the house. The kids love it, so whatever."
"Master, they've got this little train game they do," Lee Jihye said brightly. "After dinner. You
should see it, it's so cute with those three little kiddies just walking around the table. And Biyoo,
Ahjussi's daughter, you know?"
Yoo Joonghyuk nodded. He had heard enough about Biyoo to know that she was the most adorable
child in the world, according to everyone who knew the child.
"She waddles around with her little plates and goes up to her dad to give her plate cause she can't
put it in properly in the dishwasher just yet. I should take a video next time and show it to you. Just
ask Mia, she's so cute!"
Yoo Joonghyuk wasn't sure if the picture in his head matched the one in real life, but the Kim
household seemed like it was always brimming with joy and love. Like those ones in movies and
all. He really didn't know how it was possible.
It shouldn't make sense. How could a person be like that?
A man who loved even those that weren't of his own blood, he had just happened to pick them up
one day and help them. A man who was doing everything for these people, loving them,
supporting them unconditionally, asking for nothing back. Even though he was extremely busy, a
man who would forget to take care of himself, but still find time to call the others and check up on
them every time.
He sounded like the perfect person these people needed. A fictional character who was there just to
support them and show kindness.
Was it really possible for someone like that to exist?
He did think that all the accounts these people gave about Mr Kim could be based. People didn't
see all sides of a story, he knew that much. So it was possible that they didn't really know Mr Kim
behind his angelic persona.
But how did that man do that? Wasn't it just too exhausting to live like that?
Yoo Joonghyuk had never been more curious about a person.
"How old is he?" he decided to ask.
"Ahjussi?" Lee Jihye asked and Yoo Joonghyuk nodded, making the girl giggle.
"He turned thirty last February," Kim Namwoon provided. "His parents came to Seoul and all for
it."
"You're turning thirty too, this August, aren't you, Joonghyuk-ssi?" Lee Hyunsung said. "You're the
same age."
"Almost the same age," Lee Jihye insisted. With a wide smile, she said, "Master, do you want to
meet Ahjussi?"
Yoo Joonghyuk nodded, "Yes."
Lee Jihye lapsed into a fit of sinister-sounding snickers, covering her mouth with her hands. It was
very concerning.
"Just come by any time," Kim Namwoon said dismissively. "Well, not any time. He's like shit busy
half the time, so like book an appointment or fix a time with him before turning up."
Yoo Joonghyuk had that much sense. He wasn't like these teenagers who just liked to go to Mr
Kim's house whenever they had free time and hang out or crash their dinners.
Then he realised, he did not have Mr Kim's contact number.
The school had never given it to him, he had the caretaker's number, and the kids', but not Mr
Kim's.
What now?
Well, he could just ask anyone in the room and get the man's contact information, but he found
himself getting nervous.
What? Why was he so nervous?
It wasn't like he was trying to ask the man out on a date. He just wanted to meet the person most
people he knew kept talking about.
Wait. Why did he even think of dates? Did he. . .No way. . .No fucking way! When did this
happen?
"Do you not have his contact number, Joonghyuk-ssi?" Lee Hyunsung was saying. "I can give you
Do—"
"Master!" Lee Jihye spoke over the poor man who had just taken his phone out. "Master, do you
want to like, date Ahjussi?"
Yoo Joonghyuk stiffened in his seat.
Kim Namwoon who was spinning around aimlessly in his chair froze. Lee Hyunsung's eyes were
as wide as saucers and Lee Jihye was grinning from ear to ear.
"No," Yoo Joonghyuk said curtly. "I just want to meet this person you all are talking about."
Kim Namwoon's mouth had fallen open. "No fucking way!" he cried, sitting up straight so fast that
his chair gave out alarming creaks.
"You—Captain! What?"
"Hey, don't be homophobic!" Lee Jihye snapped.
"I don't fucking care about that," Kim Namwoon said. He looked sort of confuddled, as though he
didn't know what to do about this situation where his Captain would like to date his Hyung.
"You've never even met the guy!"
"Eh?" Lee Hyunsung said, now sounding just as baffled. "But Joonghyuk-ssi has to have met—?"
Yoo Joonghyuk got up from his seat abruptly.
"Stop speaking nonsense," he told them sternly and left the room as quickly as it was possible for
him to do so without looking too out of place.
Fuck.
He didn't know why his first response to them finding out was running away. He just wasn't sure
how to handle it.
Yoo Joonghyuk was sure he would never fall in love again. . .Okay, he was getting ahead of
himself now. It wasn't love. It was a little crush.
A crush at the age of twenty-nine? Do twenty-nine-year-olds even have crushes?
And why the fuck was he acting like he was a teen again? He was a grown adult for crying out
loud. He should be mature and collected about this whole thing, not the freaked-out mess he was
now.
Honestly, he should have noticed it before.
He had done the same with Kim Dokja.
When he harboured a crush on a person, he started collecting facts he knew about them and
making a list in his head. He had started making a list for Mr Kim a while ago.
How the fuck did he manage to like two Kims?
Yoo Joonghyuk paused. What were the chances that they were the same person? He would punch
himself in the face if he ended up in a mess again like that dinner a few months ago.
No, Kim Dokja couldn't be Mr Kim.

Sure, Kim Dokja and Mr Kim seemed to be acquainted with Jung Heewon and Lee Hyunsung, but
there were way too many things that didn't match up.
Kim Dokja was a salaryman working as a QA tester at a game company, who worked as an editor
part-time, he knew that much. And Mr Kim was a businessman. Two very different professions.
Okay, so they seemed to be of similar ages, but that was it. He knew that Kim Dokja was older
than him by a few months, but he had forgotten when exactly. . .He had never celebrated Kim
Dokja's birthday now that he thought about it. They'd only ever celebrated his and Mia's birthday.
Yoo Joonghyuk pushed that thought away from his head and decided to focus on more important
things.
Mr Kim seemed to come from wealth. Namwoon had mentioned his parents too.
He remembered Kim Dokja saying that he didn't have his parents around, just like Yoo
Joonghyuk.
And Mr Kim had like four children, not including Kim Namwoon, while Kim Dokja just had one
kid. He had forgotten how old the child was though, maybe as old as Biyoo?
Ah. . .He'd forgotten to find out one very important thing.
Was Mr Kim single?
For fuck's sake! Yoo Joonghyuk was going to go mental. His brain was so scrambled right now.
He hasn't even met this man, why was he jumping five steps ahead already?
Ever elusive Mr Kim, with the most wonderous personality he's ever heard of, making him like the
man without even having met him. . .He should get to that first. Meeting Mr Kim.
Should he go back and get his number? Just bite down on his pride and do it?
Yoo Joonghyuk was aware that his ears were burning. Why, he pleaded for an answer. Just why
was he acting like a teenager about this whole thing? Adults can like people too. Adults can have
crushes too. . .Goddamnit.
Yoo Joonghyuk realised he was far too gone to return now when he put way too much effort into
dressing up for going to pick Mia up from school every afternoon. It was really disappointing when
he never got to see Mr Kim who was really busy.
"Ahjussi left already," Yoo Mia said catching Yoo Joonghyuk's gaze towards the school building.
"You were like two minutes late, Oppa."
Yoo Joonghyuk prayed his dejection wouldn't show on his face, but that was too much to ask
because Mia let out a heavy sigh.
"Oppa," she said sharply as Yoo Joonghyuk started the car. "What are you doing?"
That's what he wanted to ask himself. What was he doing?
"Jihye unnie says you like Squid Ahjussi," Mia said and Yoo Joonghyuk gave the road before him
the most attention he had ever given it in his entire life.
"Do you really?" Mia narrowed her eyes at him. "That squid Ahjussi?"
"Jihye said he's handsome," Yoo Joonghyuk said. He ought to kick himself. He didn't even know
how this man looked, why the fuck was he defending his looks? That too from his sister?
"No, he's not," Mia said without missing a beat. Yoo Joonghyuk had no idea why he felt offended.
"Jihye said he's not ugly," he insisted.
"I didn't say he was ugly," Mia said, looking at her brother with wide, startled eyes. "What are you
saying, Oppa? Ahjussi isn't handsome. You are handsome."
Why was this the topic all of a sudden?
"That person," Mia pointed to a billboard a distance away with a famous actor advertising some
cologne. "Is handsome. Not as handsome as Oppa, but handsome. Ahjussi's not like that."
Wow, Mia sure was brutal. He hoped she hadn't told this to Mr Kim's face.
And Jihye did say that Mia called him Squid Ahjussi and the man would make a weird face about
it.
Good heavens, Mia. What impression did Mr Kim even have of Yoo Joonghyuk now? Did he think
Mia was a misbehaving child and Yoo Joonghyuk was a horrible guardian or something?
"Ahjussi's pretty," Mia said catching Yoo Joonghyuk off guard.
"What?"
"Not pretty like Seolhwa Unnie," Mia clarified. "But pretty like those idol oppas on TV. Ahjussi's
pretty like that. . .Hmm, I guess, sometimes he can be like this much handsome," she brought her
index finger close to her thumb, less than a centimetre gap between them.
So, this man's looks had Mia's approval. Understood.
Yoo Joonghyuk hadn't really thought about Mr Kim's looks, but now that he had heard that this
man was definitely a looker, his imagination had gone off the rails.
He was trying to get an image in his head with the little things he knew about the man.
Eyebags, looked tired, pretty like idols.
It wasn't a lot to work with.
Yoo Joonghyuk's lips turned downwards in annoyance when Kim Dokja's image was the first one
that came to his mind.
Kim Dokja and Mr Kim were two different people; he pushed that thought out of his head. He
didn't want to ruin his mood by thinking about that bastard. He would much rather focus on Mr
Kim, thanks.
Sure, Kim Dokja was pretty, pretty like those idols and had eyebags, and looked sickly, but that
didn't mean anything.
He didn't know anything else about Mr Kim. He didn't know about his hair, his height, or his skin
tone. He could look completely different from Kim Dokja.
"Oppa, oppa, can we have a sleepover?" Yoo Mia asked him eagerly one evening. She was holding
his phone, on a video call with Yoosung and Gilyoung there for backup in case Mia fails to
convince her brother.
"Where?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked, giving in.
"Here," Mia said, turning the phone around so that Yoo Joonghyuk could be blasted with three kids
giving him pleading looks.
"When?"
"Tomorrow."
He ought to teach Mia how to plan properly and come ask for permission early, not one evening
prior. Well, it wasn't like he had much to do tomorrow anyway.
"You have school tomorrow," Yoo Joonghyuk reminded her.
"Yeah, I know," Mia nodded and so did the two kids on the screen.
"Ahjussi said it should be fine," Yoosung chirped up. "He said that we'll just pack our sleepwear
and stuff in our bags, go together after school, have a sleepover, and then go to school normally."
"We'll do all our homework too," Lee Gilyoung said seriously. "Hyung said it will teach us to be
more responsible with our belongings."
"Oppa, see? It's teaching us new things...It works, no?" Mia said she was rocking slightly on her
feet, waiting for his reply.
"Alright," Yoo Joonghyuk said. He felt like a scammer. The only reason he had agreed to it was
because this might give him a chance to finally meet Mr Kim. He didn't give two shits about
responsibility or whatever these kids were on about. Mr Kim probably had a point with it, but Yoo
Joonghyuk's mind was not interested in that at the moment.
The children cheered.
So did Yoo Joonghyuk, internally.
"I'll text Ahjussi right now!" Shin Yoosung said brightly.
Yoo Joonghyuk paused.
"He is not there?" he said and the kids shook their heads, Shin Yoosung took Lee Gilyoung's phone
after a short scuffle and texted Mr Kim about this.
"Not in Seoul?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked, just to be sure.

"He's gone to Bre...Ba...Be...Belgium?" Gilyoung said, unsure.
"Britain, you idiot," Yoosung scoffed.
"No, it was Belgium, I'm sure of it!" Gilyoung argued back.
"Let's ask Namwoon Oppa," Yoosung challenged and even as Yoo Joonghyuk sulked, the kids ran
around, the camera shaking, yelling for Kim Namwoon.
"What?" Kim Namwoon said, slightly irked when they found him in his room. "Hah? How should
I know?"
"Hyung, please," Gilyoung cried, jumping a little.
"I think he said he was going to...Hang on, where's he gone to?" Kim Namwoon's voice could be
heard.
"Ask Donghoon Oppa then," Yoosung said, impatient.
Yoo Joonghyuk knew it was too late to take back his promise to let them have a sleepover, no
matter how disappointed he was. And he had a new dislike for Bahrain that Mr Kim was going. He
disliked Belgium and Britain a bit as well, even though the man wasn't going there.
The kids had a blast at the sleepover.
Yoo Joonghyuk wanted to dig a hole and throw himself in.
It started when Mia paused the TV show they were watching and said, "Oh, did you know? My
Oppa likes Squid Ahjussi."
Yoo Joonghyuk who had been cleaning the kitchen at the time, only vaguely listening to what
these kids were saying, froze. . .Mia, just why?
"Everyone likes hyung," Gilyoung huffed, rather smug.
"Not like that," Mia said incredulously. "Oppa wants to date Ahjussi, like Hyunsung Oppa and
Heewon Unnie."
Mia, why?!
Shin Yoosung gasped loudly and Lee Gilyoung screamed.
The TV programme was ignored and Yoo Joonghyuk closed his eyes wearily when he heard a
quick patter of little footsteps speeding towards the kitchen.
"You sooty prick, what do you think you are doing?" Lee Gilyoung demanded, drawing himself to
his full height and glaring up at Yoo Joonghyuk. "You think you are good enough to like Hyung?"
"But—But," Shin Yoosung was saying anxiously, looking at Yoo Joonghyuk sympathetically.
"Ahjussi likes women. Like that pretty unnie."
The disappointment that Yoo Joonghyuk had felt with those few words was immense. He had
never been more let down by a kid with so few words.
"No, Hyung likes men," Gilyoung said and Yoo Joonghyuk perked up.
"But Ahjussi's with Unnie, though?" Yoosung said.
Ah, he was already dating someone. Of course, someone like Mr Kim would already have
someone.
"No, he's not," Gilyoung scoffed. "They're just friends. Ahjussi likes that handsome man instead."
"Which man?" Mia demanded, and Yoo Joonghyuk was sort of thankful for that. He wanted to
know too. Which man?
"More handsome than my Oppa?" Mia looked like she was going to beat up whomever Gilyoung
declared as more handsome that her oppa.
Yoo Joonghyuk inhaled deeply.
What was wrong with him?
His moods were fluctuating rapidly with just a few words from these kids who probably didn't even
know much about Mr Kim, his preferences and who he dated.
"Yeah," Gilyoung declared. "He's a model."
"No way!" Mia cried. "Show me a photo,"
"I don't have a photo," Gilyoung said. "We saw him when Hyung was video-calling him. He's from
China. He's got long blond hair and he's got huge awesome muscles. Ask Yoosung."
Shin Yoosung nodded, confirming Gilyoung's words. Her agreeing with him meant that it was
absolutely true.
"What's his name then?" Mia asked.
"Don't know," Gilyoung shook his head. "I forgot."
"But you know that angel unnie?" Shin Yoosung said slowly. "Angel unnie always says 'I love
you'."
Mia's mouth fell open and Gilyoung fell quiet.
So there really was some woman who could be considered an angel who gave love proclamations
to Mr Kim every time. Great. Yoo Joonghyuk really wanted to dig himself a hole to hide in.
"Which Unnie?" Mia said.
"I know her name," Shin Yoosung said brightly. "Uriel. She's a model too."
Uriel?. . .Hang on. The Uriel? From Eden?
There is no way Yoo Joonghyuk wouldn't know about Uriel. His company used to be affiliated
with Star Stream, and he himself had worked with a few famous directors for sponsored
advertisements. Anyone who had done anything related to modelling would have heard more than
enough about Uriel.
The kids had gathered around, put their heads together, someone's phone in the middle as they
looked up Uriel on the internet.
Mr Kim was dating Uriel?
Mia seemed to be going through a great dilemma when she saw Uriel's picture. She even tried to
hide the phone from Yoo Joonghyuk.
Yoo Joonghyuk wasn't sure if he should feel offended or thankful that Mia was trying to save his
feelings from getting hurt.
But Yoo Joonghyuk had been through worse. At least he hadn't done something stupid like
confessing this time. It wasn't that bad.
Uriel really was a beauty.
"She's really cute, no?" Shin Yoosung said and Mia had to reluctantly nod.
"Ahjussi is dating this unnie?" she said, sounding tired.
"No, he's not," Gilyoung cried before Yoosung could respond. "Hyung's not dating anyone.
Hyung's always been single. Grandma asks him to go on blind dates every time."
Mia brightened up immediately.
"He's not dating anyone?"
The other two kids shook their heads.
"Does he like anyone?" was Mia's next question.
The kids looked at each other, then shrugged.
"He doesn't?"
"We don't know," Yoosung said.
"No one knows," Gilyoung nodded.
"That means my Oppa has a chance?" Mia said and the kids looked away.
What? Why? Why didn't he have a chance?
"I like Sangah unnie better," Yoosung muttered.
"Sooty prick's not good enough for Hyung," was what Gilyoung said.
Mia launched into an angry tirade about just how amazing her brother was and it was actually Mr
Kim who wasn't good enough for him.
"Hyung's richer!" Gilyoung yelled back. "Hyung's got big houses everywhere."
"So what? My Oppa can get them too!"
Mia, please. . .Yoo Joonghyuk was so glad that he was the only one witnessing this fight. He
would die of embarrassment if anyone else found out about this.
"Hyung is smarter!"
"You don't know that. My Oppa is super smart."
Yoo Joonghyuk was pretty sure that Mr Kim was the smarter one among the two of them. He
didn't even need to actually test it to know that. He was touched by Mia's confidence in him
though.
"But can he play games like Oppa?" Mia said and Gilyoung had no reply to it.
"Ahjussi is horrible at games," Mia said proudly, hands on her hips.
Yoo Joonghyuk added that to his list.

Mr Kim was bad at video games.
"Are games all that matter?" Gilyoung finally found his voice.
"Oppa's better at cooking," Mia said and again, it was her victory.
"Hyung can cook."
"Oppa makes the best food ever!"
Gilyoung was pouting so hard right now, trying to find things to say in his Hyung's favour.
"Hyung is nice," he blurted out.
"Oppa is nice too!"
"Hyung is nicer!"
"You don't know that. You don't like my Oppa very much."
"That's because Hyung is just that much nice. And better."
"Yoosung-ah!"
"Shin Yoosung!"
The fighting kids rounded on Shin Yoosung who looked pitifully at them, wiggling her fingers
anxiously against the phone she was holding.
"Yoosung-ah, who's better?"
"It's Hyung no? Hey, you know it is Hyung, right?"
"Don't bother her. Let her take her time."
Shin Yoosung fidgeted in her spot and chewed on her lip. She looked up at Yoo Joonghyuk
through her hair and turned away quickly.
"If," she started softly and everyone in the kitchen listened to her with rapt attention.
"If Joonghyuk Ahjussi dates Ahjussi, they will get married and then...and then, we'll become a
family, no?"
Yoo Joonghyuk was baffled.
Sure, he knew Yoosung's trauma about her shitty family leaving her alone and he also knew why
this whole family thing could be so appealing to Gilyoung and Mia, to the extent that their eyes had
started shining at the thought.
But really?!
Marriage? Where was this coming from?
And what about his opinion? Wasn't he the one marrying? And what about Mr Kim? Yoo
Joonghyuk wasn't even sure if he was the man's type, let alone be someone he would spend the rest
of his life with.
Kids worked strangely.
Yoo Joonghyuk, who had been standing rooted to the spot all this time, went back to cleaning the
kitchen as the three children pondered Yoosung's observation in silence.
"But, then I'll be your aunt, no?" Mia asked a few moments later, sounding slightly conflicted.
"We'll still be family," Yoosung's voice was a little quiet.
"Hyung says it doesn't matter," Gilyoung declared. "It doesn't matter what we call each other as
long as we know we are calling each other."
"Then can we be sisters?" Mia said and Yoosung nodded eagerly.
"Oppa!"
"Joonghyuk Ahjussi!"
"Oppa, you have to marry Squid Ahjussi!" cried Mia.
"We'll be the flower girls and you'll even get Biyoo as your daughter," Shin Yoosung's face was a
flaming red. "And me too if you'll have me," she said quietly.
"I still don't like it!" yelled Lee Gilyoung. "Can't Hyung adopt you too? That'll make us family."
"Oppa's an adult, he can't adopt him."
"Who's adopting your Oppa? Hyung can just adopt you and we'll all be siblings."
"Hah?! Why would I leave Oppa for your Ahjussi?"
"They should just get married!"
"Yeah, that's what I'm saying."
"I said I don't like it!"
Yoo Joonghyuk's face was burning as he pretended that nothing was happening, and went on
cleaning the kitchen. He hoped these kids wouldn't do the same thing to Mr Kim.
. . .On second thought, he wondered, would Mr Kim get embarrassed like him? Or would he laugh
and wave it away as just some silly joke children were making?
Yoo Joonghyuk exhaled softly. He found he wasn't all that curious about that. He was sure this
would only end in disappointment. And honestly entertaining these kids would only make him
involuntarily hope for more, when he was certain that things need not work out well.
Chapter End Notes
I'm just having fun screwing YJH over at this point

Chapter 30
Yoo Joonghyuk had gone to sleep thinking about Mr Kim. He ended up dreaming about Kim
Dokja and was rather disappointed in the morning.
Luckily, the kids all woke up on time and he didn't have to worry about it. They did look a bit tired
though, after staying up late talking through the night. He didn't think it was a bad thing this time,
he remembered their excited faces the previous day and couldn't help but feel happy for them. He
didn't remember much of his childhood, but he was sure he would have remembered if he had ever
been that jittery and happy about spending time with friends.
Yoo Joonghyuk was worried that Yoosung and Gilyoung might just go on their phones and leave
Mia sitting there, but they put their phones away after nine o'clock since they had a curfew with
that. It was surprising how they were following it even though Mr Kim wasn't there to enforce the
rules.
They were nice kids, Yoosung and Gilyoung.
The three of them packed their bags together, even arranging their books according to their
timetable so that they could take their books out easily. Yoo Joonghyuk thought that the system
wouldn't work all that well, but he let them have it.
After breakfast, they piled into the car and Yoo Joonghyuk drove them to school.
Yoo Joonghyuk wondered how they acted around their other classmates. He knew that Mia used to
be very silent before she had met these two, and knowing their past, Yoo Joonghyuk couldn't be
sure how Yoosung and Gilyoung used to be.
Was it just these three stuck to each other? Or did they interact with their other classmates?
He looked at the reflection of the kids sitting in the backseat through his rearview mirror. They
were talking animatedly with each other about things, the topics all over the place, hopping from
one thing to another. They were talking about Elysium and how they should all go there sometime
with everyone.
"And we can make Oppa date Ahjussi there," Mia whispered happily and Yoo Joonghyuk had to
hold back a sigh.
He was aware that Mr Kim was wealthy and it was pretty obvious by the size of the independent
house he had seen every time he picked up Mia from the place, the way he arranged a housekeeper
to look after the house, cook meals for the children when he was away, and had someone drop and
pick up from school. And how Lee Jihye and Kim Namwoon mentioned that he came from old
money. Even the kids spoke about their grandparents who liked to spoil them whenever they came
to visit them.
Mr Kim seemed to have forgotten to teach the kids about money. And Yoo Joonghyuk himself had
missed that part when it came to Mia.
No one talks about going to 'Elysium' like that. Especially not the way Yoosung and Gilyoung
went around saying that Mr Kim would just order things from there sometimes. Elysium did not
normally do home delivery.
Did these three somehow form a rich kids' group in their school?
Yoo Joonghyuk was just moderately well-off. He didn't have a lot of needs, and most of his funds
went into taking care of Mia anyway. He still had a few more years on his car loan. What was Mia
doing in school?
Yoo Joonghyuk was slightly worried. Were these three somehow isolated from the rest of their
peers? Children do make groups easily and they often stick to people similar to them.
Was that the reason these three got along well? Because they had a lot of similarities? He hoped
they weren't being treated strangely at school. He was glad that they at least had each other, but
even so, it would be nice to have some more friends.
He wasn't one for having relationships that were shallow, but as children, he felt it would be fine to
explore and experience more things.
Yoo Joonghyuk turned his eyes to the road. He had been to Mia's parent-teacher meetings and he
had usually just listened to the teacher talk to him about Mia, nodded along, and since Mia wasn't a
troublesome child, he didn't have much to talk about.
He wasn't sure how he was supposed to ask about Mia's interaction with the rest of her peers.
He wondered if Mr Kim would be able to do it easily. That man probably might.
Yoo Joonghyuk was not good with crushes, he realised. When he liked a person, he suddenly
painted them as the greatest of the great.
He had some experience now and could catch himself in the act whenever he did it and clear up a
misunderstanding that he was forming in his own head.
Yoo Joonghyuk had never tried to actively seek out anyone and tried to win their heart. He had
done it once and decided he'd had enough. It was Lee Seolhwa who had been the one to take the
initiative in their case and Yoo Joonghyuk had just followed her lead.
Yoo Joonghyuk found he didn't really know how to make someone like him. From the image of
Mr Kim he had in his mind, he supposed that man would know how to, unlike him. He seemed to
be this strange magnet that just pulled everyone towards him.
Shouldn't be strange that Yoo Joonghyuk had been dragged along too. But he should know where
to stop.
That didn't mean he wasn't going to try though. He just wasn't going to harbour too many
expectations. He still wanted to get to know Mr Kim. Terribly so, he really wanted to know this
man. He didn't even care if he wasn't into men, he felt he would like to know this man as a friend
or as a close acquaintance and be a part of the group of people he cared for.
When these people spoke about this man they would seem like they were part of a lighthearted
sitcom or something. A strange group of misfits that somehow came together and found family, joy
and warmth in each other.
It was something Yoo Joonghyuk would have never believed could actually happen. But when he
heard about Mr Kim, it felt like fantasy was coming to life.
Kim Namwoon complaining about him being a control freak with OCD but listening to him
anyway.
Han Donghoon getting accepted and loved despite all his special needs.
Lee Jihye talked about having fun dinners at their house every now and then and about the board
games they all played together.
Lee Hyunsung praised Mr Kim every chance he got and spoke about just how much of a
hardworking man he was.
And the kids, oh how the kids loved him. Shin Yoosung had been giggling about her Ahjussi
wasn't all that great at doing complicated hairstyles and braids at first, so he bought wigs just so he
could practice on them for her. And now even Mia would get her hair done occasionally when the
man was there.
He would sit and draw with Lee Gilyoung when he got the chance, read bedtime stories to Biyoo,
and have periodic hot chocolate nights with the family where they just sat in the living room and
spoke to each other.
Yoo Joonghyuk could see the appeal.
Who wouldn't want that?
He had felt this feeling once before. He couldn't be sure that it was real and not just something his
immature brain had cooked up back then, but he really wanted to feel that again.
And he would admit, a bit grudgingly, but he would admit that he was still trying to chase that
sublime warmth he had felt all those years ago, even if it was just an illusion.
He wasn't saying that his life wasn't good as it was now. He was more than content with it, he had
everything, really. But something in his bones seemed to ache for that bliss. Routine had never
seemed welcoming to him, simply calming because there was nothing to look out for, nothing
unexpected was ever going to happen. Routine, as easy as it was to deal with, often seemed
dreadfully boring. Just a rerun of the same old things, rinse and repeat, and do that all over again
the next day.
He craved excitement, but not the adventure kind. He wasn't really motivated to go on dangerous
missions and save worlds and all that. He just wanted a simple life where he could be actually
lively and satisfied.
He was no idiot, he knew that was literally impossible. Life just didn't work that way. But Mr Kim
seemed to be bringing that feeling, or whatever was closest to the feeling he was looking for.
He couldn't really be sure if what he wanted was Mr Kim or that feeling Mr Kim seemed to bring.
He was leaning more towards the latter if he had to be honest.
But if he could, he wouldn't mind having Mr Kim as well. He just found that man so interesting.
"Ahjussi's coming back for Gilyoungie's birthday," Mia was telling him one day over breakfast
before he took her to school. "We are planning on going to the museum because Gilyoung likes to
look at the dinosaur bones and stuff."
Yoo Joonghyuk nodded to show that he was listening.
"And then we're going back to Ahjussi's house for a birthday party," said Mia.
"When is it?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked.
"There's a lot of time left, Oppa, don't worry," Mia said bracingly. "You can plan properly. You
can go buy a ring and all, wear a nice suit, get flowers."
Yoo Joonghyuk gave up. He didn't know any more.
"We told Ahjussi about it," Mia said and Yoo Joonghyuk's spoon clattered a bit too hard against his
plate. He wasn't sure if Mia had noticed it, but she said nothing.
"I think Ahjussi likes it," she said and Yoo Joonghyuk pointedly ignored the thump his heart had
given. No, not this time. He would not fall easily.
"When we asked him to marry you, his face became all pink and he laughed and then left," Mia
told him happily. "Sooyoung Ahjumma was laughing all the time."
"Sooyoung Ahjumma?"
"Yeah, Ahjussi's friend," Mia nodded. "She comes by every now and then."
"Not girlfriend?"
"Not girlfriend, I asked," Mia said. "Gilyoung was right, Ahjussi doesn't have anybody. So, Oppa,
you should take your chance. He likes you too, he'll say yes to getting married."
"That's not how it works," Yoo Joonghyuk told her, slightly weary.
"Oppa, listen," Mia said sternly, looking him in the eye. "If you do what you are doing now,
Yoosung might end up convincing Sangah Unnie and they'll get married. Then you'll lose your
chance. We'll all lose, do you understand, Oppa?"
What incredible ulterior motives. . .
"You don't have to be put on paper to be family," Yoo Joonghyuk told her carefully. "My master
isn't related to me by blood or paper. And she's still your grandmother."
Mia pouted.
"So what?" she said childishly. "If you like Ahjussi and Ahjussi likes you, you should get married,
no?"
"I don't like Mr Kim," Yoo Joonghyuk said with so much resolution that Mia almost cried. "And
Mr Kim does not like me."
"We don't even know each other," he told her, much softer now. "People don't get married without
knowing each other."
"Then," Mia sniffled slightly. "That's why you should go on a date, then. I like Squid Ahjussi too. I
won't accept anyone else, Oppa. If you bring someone else I'll be super mean."
"That's not a nice thing to say," Yoo Joonghyuk sighed. "Mia, that is not how things work."
"Oppa, but you are not doing anything!"
"Mia, we are not getting married."

Mia looked very angry when she left for school.
And when she returned, she made sure to tell him that Yoosung and Gilyoung were disappointed
with him as well.
Yoo Joonghyuk could deal with that.
He was just dreading his eventual meeting with Mr Kim. That was going to be so awkward, with
both their children making such messes every time.
There were a few days where everything just sort of slowed down and he could sit back and do
nothing for a while. Kim Dokja liked those days. He got to read web novels instead of working.
Today was, unfortunately, not such a day. Those days were a bit rare.
Kim Dokja had been looking for an excuse to get away from his desk. Technically, he didn't need
one. He could just get up and go, the only person he had to answer to was his own brain. And his
brain was a mean piece of shit, it just didn't want him to move from the place.
When he got a call from Gilyoung and Yoosung's school, he picked up, slightly worried. Did they
get sick?
He didn't know if it was worse or better that they had gotten in trouble and not sick. They were in
the principal's office for causing some trouble and their guardian had been called.
Kim Dokja got his excuse now.
He had to get dressed quickly. He would go as he was at the moment, but he had a reputation to
maintain. If he wasn't used to getting into suits, he would have been really pissed at just how much
there was to do; but he had been doing this for years now, he could probably get dressed in his
sleep. And he had to comb his hair, he hadn't done that since he woke up.
On his drive to the school, Kim Dokja couldn't help but think about Jung Heewon joking that he
was probably a shitty driver like Han Sooyoung. He drove a bit more carefully so that he didn't end
up crashing instead of going to his children.
What could they have possibly done to get in trouble at school? They were good kids, way too
nice, way too kind, way too precocious. Getting in trouble? Enough to get called to the principal's
office and for the guardian to be called to school immediately?
No, logically speaking, what could be the biggest mistake those kids could cause? Set off the fire
alarm for fun? Bully someone? No, they wouldn't do something like that, they were the kindest
children ever.
Flunk their exams? No, those kids studied well. Used foul language?
. . .Possibly. But it wasn't so bad that he had to be called to their school. They could have always
called him after it was all done, or sent him a written note in their journals.
Whatever it was, it wasn't going to be something he couldn't deal with. He just hoped the kids were
alright.
Rushing to Yoo Mia's school after cancelling the afternoon stream he had planned, Yoo
Joonghyuk's mind was a mess.
What the fuck did they mean by Mia and her friends getting into trouble? Called to the principal's
office? Those three little ones?
By Mia's friends, he knew it could only mean Yoosung and Gilyoung. But they had gotten into
trouble? Those three might act like loose canons but that was when they were in their houses, not at
school. Mia had always been well-behaved, and Gilyoung was generally quiet, while Yoosung was
incredibly nice. Those three had enough sense and were mature enough to not do anything bad.
Mia apparently threw her water bottle at her teacher who had to be taken to the infirmary.
Mia threw her bottle at her teacher!
What?!
He wasn't sure if he had parked his car right when he got off and hurried towards the building. He
was more worried about Mia and the kids in distress and crying.
He found them waiting outside the principal's office with their class teacher standing anxiously
beside them.
"Oppa!" Mia said and they all looked up at him.
"Ahjussi!"
"Ahjussi!"
It was the first time Gilyoung had ever called him Ahjussi, instead of prick or bastard or hey. .
.And why was he Ahjussi? Mr Kim was the same age as him, older even, and he was Hyung. Why
was Yoo Joonghyuk called 'Ahjussi'?
He pushed that thought to the side, he'd deal with it later. He had other important things to deal
with now.
The kids weren't crying. They looked pretty relieved, a bit pissed off, but calm nonetheless.
They weren't supposed to look like that when they'd just gotten in trouble that had brought them to
the principal's office! What? Were his kids turning into delinquents already?
"Is—Mr Kim is inside," Yoo Joonghyuk deduced and the kids nodded.
"Yoo Joonghyuk-ssi," their class teacher said slowly, getting his attention. "We were waiting for
you."
"What happened?" he asked.
The class teacher took a deep breath and said, clearly, "Yoo Joonghyuk-ssi, I want you to listen to
me patiently."
Yoo Joonghyuk had enough patience. But this lady was acting like he was going to beat someone
up. He wasn't a violent man, what's up with that?
"Go on," he nodded, making sure that his annoyance was evident. Her assumption had pissed him
off.
"Mia, here, got angry at her PE teacher because she said something she disagreed with, and Mia
threw her water bottle at Ms Jeong. It hit her in the face and she was injured."
Yoo Joonghyuk looked at Mia, very surprised and very worried.
Mia might have a bit of a temper, she might be stubborn, and she might have a mouth that was
brutally honest most of the time, but she wasn't violent. He hadn't raised her like that.
"Did you do that, Mia?" he said slowly.
"Yes," Mia nodded and Yoosung held her hand, while Gilyoung moved forward, holding his hand
out, as though shielding Mia from her brother. Did he think Yoo Joonghyuk was going to get angry
at them?
Anger wasn't what was in Yoo Joonghyuk's mind at the moment. He was confused, and very
worried.
"Are you hurt?" Yoo Joonghyuk said finally and Mia shook her head.
"I'm fine," she said. "Gilyoung and Yoosung aren't though!"
What happened to them?
Yoo Joonghyuk's head snapped up to glare incriminatingly at their teacher.
"They are not hurt either, Yoo Joonghyuk-ssi," the woman tried assuring him and the two kids in
question nodded their heads vigorously. But Mia was frowning and he decided that something had
probably happened to make Mia that angry.
He glanced at the closed door to the principal's office.
"Ah," the kids' class teacher started, moving towards the door. "I'll let the principal know that you
are here."
He turned to the children and placed a hand over Mia's head, patting her. She seemed very pleased,
as though she knew her Oppa would take her side.
Yoo Joonghyuk was still waiting to know the whole story and if it turned out that Mia had indeed
done something wrong, then she would have to face punishment. He was going to ground her if
that was the case.
But since he couldn't be too sure yet, he just wanted to reassure her that it was all fine.
He wasn't sure what to do about the other two, so he tentatively moved his hand and pressed gently
on their heads as well. Yoosung and Gilyoung looked so surprised that their mouths fell open.
Yoo Joonghyuk realised he had never done this before. He had only coddled Mia.
The door had opened and the teacher said something quietly into the room.
"That's good," a voice that was very familiar said and Yoo Joonghyuk stilled, his hand inches
above Yoosung's head where it had just been a second ago.
"Why don't we bring the children in as well? I would like to ask them about this myself."
If it wasn't for Mia taking his hand and pulling him towards the room at the call, Yoo Joonghyuk
wouldn't have moved at all.
He was vaguely aware that he would meet finally meet Mr Kim today, but he hadn't thought much
about it because he was more preoccupied with Mia. He wished he had though.
He was not prepared for this at all.
Yoo Joonghyuk hated whatever sick fate that had brought him at the moment.
Kim Dokja was sitting in a comfortable chair across the principal's desk, dressed formally in a
sleek suit that fit him way too well. He had his legs crossed and a stiff business smile on his face.
Kim Dokja didn't stare at him in surprise like he had the last time they met a couple of months ago.
Instead, the man's smile widened.
"It's been a while, Yoo Joonghyuk-ssi," he said politely, bowing his head a little. As though they
were strangers who had barely passed by each other a few times.
"Why don't you take a seat too? We have to talk about the children."
That shook him out of his reverie. His mind was falling down a dark, dark hole, but he caught it.
He could wallow in his misery some other time, but not right now. Right now, the children took
priority over everything else.
Yoo Joonghyuk moved his limbs, feeling strangely heavy and sat down in the chair next to Kim
Dokja, staring at the principal who let out an exasperated sigh.
"Come on in," Kim Dokja said kindly and the kids hurried in to stand in the spot he had waved his
hand at.
"It's alright," Kim Dokja said soothingly and Yoo Joonghyuk grit his teeth.
"We just want to know what happened, is that alright?"
The children nodded.
Yoo Joonghyuk looked at Mia and the complete lack of anxiety on her face made his throat close
up. Obviously, she wasn't worried. Why would she be? Kim Dokja was here and he was telling her
that it was all fine. She even said she liked that Ahjussi, even if she had forgotten him from before.
Yoo Joonghyuk couldn't help but look at Kim Dokja. At least a shadow of guilt must be on his
face.
Kim Dokja was smiling pleasantly at the teacher, saying, "Please, I would like it if you stayed as
well, Min Seonsaengnim. The children would also be less worried."
The kids weren't worried at all, that bastard! Stop flirting. Was now the time?
"Ah, yes, Mr Kim," the woman said with a quick nod, she closed the door and walked in to stand
beside the three children.
Really? Yoo Joonghyuk found it ridiculous how this woman hadn't even asked her superior, the
principal who was sitting right there if she could enter and was allowed to join the conversation.
She had just walked in because Kim Dokja said so.
Yoo Joonghyuk noticed the pink of her cheeks and he really wanted to punch the man sitting next
to him. That bastard probably knew exactly what the fuck he was doing.
"Please, continue," Kim Dokja prompted.
Shameless bastard.
The principal gave a run-through of the situation, they were at PE, Mia got angry, threw a bottle at
her teacher, injured the woman and the woman had to go to the infirmary to get herself fixed up.
"Is this true, Mia-yah?" Kim Dokja said calmly.
"Mr Kim—" the principal started, indignant. Yoo Joonghyuk would be too, Kim Dokja acting like
this meant he thought that the man had been lying and felt the need to ask a child to confirm it.
"I was just confirming, I don't think that is an issue," Kim Dokja said coldly, holding a hand up to
silence the principal.
Did this guy have no manners? How was he acting towards a man who was much older than him?
Yoo Joonghyuk was aware that he was taking the principal's side just because he despised Kim
Dokja. He was being very petty, incredibly childish.
"Mia," Kim Dokja said. "Did you throw a bottle at your teacher?"
"Yes, I did," Mia proclaimed. She spoke politely, standing properly, fists clenched as she held her
arms stiffly at her side. Yoo Joonghyuk had never seen her act this way.
"I see," Kim Dokja nodded. "And did you mean to do this on purpose?"
"Yes."
"See, now, Kim Dokja-nim," the principal said getting Kim Dokja's attention. "Yoo Joonghyuk-ssi,
you as well. You should know that we, at this school, do not condone violent behaviour. Especially
something like this. Attacking a teacher just because of a minor disagreement and showing no
remorse, this is unacceptable and we will have to take disciplinary action against these students. Do
you understand?"
Yoo Joonghyuk glanced at the children again. Gilyoung was frowning at the carpet, biting his lip.
Yoosung had inched closer to Mia and was breathing slowly. Mia looked very angry.
"I understand," said Kim Dokja.
"That's—"
"Mia," he interrupted the man again. Mia looked at him and nodded, "Yes?"
"Can I ask why you did it?" Kim Dokja said.
Mia opened her mouth, then closed it and looked away.
"From what I know," Kim Dokja said, as though this wasn't concerning behaviour at all. "Mia
would never do that. And you said Yoosung and Gilyoung verbally abused their teacher and
defended their friend—"
"Dokja-ssi—Kim Dokja-nim," the principal corrected himself quickly when Kim Dokja's smile
widened. "Defending their friend is not the issue at hand. I'm glad that they are good friends, but
friends are supposed to stop each other from committing such mistakes, not encourage it."
"Seonsaengnim," Kim Dokja said, bringing his hands together and interlacing his fingers as they
rested on his knee. "Has Mia shown such behaviour before?"
"No, never," the teacher shook her head. "Yoo Mia is a well-behaved child. She always has been,
she is polite, listens to her teachers, does all her work and honestly, I've never had a reason to scold
her before."
Yoo Joonghyuk was rather proud of that. Now, only if this situation could clear up.
"Shin Yoosung and Lee Gilyoung are exemplary students as well," she added and Kim Dokja
looked pleased as he smiled fondly at his children, who blushed at the compliments.
"So, Mia-yah, why did you do it?" Kim Dokja brought their attention back to their problem.
"I don't want to say it," Mia shook her head.
"Mia," Yoo Joonghyuk finally opened his mouth, realising that he had been sitting there like a
mute doll all this time. Mia's eyes fell on him.
"I got angry," she relented. "I got angry and I threw it at her."
"I'm not going to apologize!" she cried when Kim Dokja opened his mouth. "I won't do it."
The adults stared at the girl who resolutely glared back, standing her ground.
"That's okay," Kim Dokja said, startling everyone. "You don't have to apologize just yet."
What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
"Mr Kim—"
"Sir, will you let me?" Kim Dokja was polite, but it was clear to see that he was pissed. Kim Dokja
let out a soft sigh.
"Mia, I want you to tell us exactly what happened," Kim Dokja said.
"But—" Mia started defensively.
"I don't want to ask Yoosung to explain it to me, I want to hear it from you."
Yoo Joonghyuk would never have thought that Kim Dokja could be stern against Mia. He had
never been before. Yoo Joonghyuk forcibly ripped that thought out of his head and threw it out. It
was not necessary.
"You have nothing to worry about," Kim Dokja said, softer now. "I've heard your teacher's side of
the story, now I want to know yours. Will you tell us?"
"Ahjussi—"
"Mia," Yoo Joonghyuk said, holding in a sigh. "What happened?"
Mia caved in.
"We had to run around the court," Mia said slowly. "Yoosung was tired so she was running slowly
and we didn't want to leave her behind, so we ran slowly and Jeong Seonsaengnim started scolding
us."
"So Gilyoung said we were tired and Seonsaengnim scolded us some more," as her story continued,
her voice turned more pitched and indignant.
"I did," Gilyoung nodded, supporting Mia's story.
"Miss Jeong is known for being a strict teacher," the principal said and Yoo Joonghyuk shared
Kim Dokja's annoyance this time. "It was natural for her to reprimand her students for not
following instructions properly."
Yoo Joonghyuk stared at the old man for a second, then went back to Mia.
Mia opened her mouth again, "She was being very rude! And mean! It made me angry, so I threw
it at her."
"It's not Mia's fault," Yoosung piped up. "It was because—"
"It wasn't because of you either," Gilyoung said resolutely. "It wasn't anyone's fault. Ssaem's the
one who's wrong."
It was admirable, how the kids were scrambling to protect each other, but they still weren't helping
the situation. Teachers scolded their students all the time, which did not warrant such an action.
Yoo Joonghyuk understood why the kids needed to be disciplined.
What he didn't understand was why Kim Dokja was trying to act like a lawyer as though he was
trying to stop them from going to jail.
They had made a mistake, they had to get reprimanded. Did they really have to do this here, in the
principal's office? Yoo Joonghyuk was going to ask Mia about this at home himself, make her
something nice, talk to her, and if she cried, comfort her. Why do this here? It was clear that they
were uncomfortable.
"And why is that?" Kim Dokja asked.
"Because she said mean things," Mia cried. "She's always saying mean things. Today I just got too
angry, I usually don't do anything. It's not their fault."
"What did she say?"
The kids kept silent.
"I don't want to say it," Mia shook her head.

"That's okay, I understand," Kim Dokja nodded. "Do you want me to call for your teacher and ask
her myself?"
"Ms Jeong is resting in the infirmary," Teacher Min told them. "Do you want me to call her?"
Kim Dokja thought for a while, his eyes never leaving the children who were fidgeting in their
spots.
"No, that's alright," he said finally, smiling.
"Yoosung-ah," Kim Dokja called and the girl looked up from the floor she had been staring at all
this time. "Come here."
Yoosung moved immediately.
"Just tell me, okay?" Kim Dokja said when the girl reached his side.
Yoosung glanced back at her friends tentatively. Then she looked at her Ahjussi. Her brows
scrunched up as she made a very difficult decision. Finally, she reached her hand out to beckon
Kim Dokja and he bent down to listen to her.
Sitting close, Yoo Joonghyuk could hear the soft whispers and understood most of what the girl
was saying.
Yoosung's voice trembled as she quietly told them about what their teacher often said about them.
Something that had started as patronizing mutterings changed to open beratings until the whole
class knew and laughed about it. Even when the things that were said were not funny.
Something about being born to the wrong people, and something about wasting their new, kind
guardian's efforts because they were lazy.
Yoo Joonghyuk wanted to meet this teacher of theirs and throw something at her himself. He had
no heart to scold Mia after hearing this. He was aware that his grip on the chair's arms was
dangerously tight.
Yoosung murmured about how the teacher had continued on to say that they would only be
disappointing their guardians and would be left behind in the end. And that's when Yoosung started
crying, so Mia and Gilyoung snapped at her teacher, who scolded her back, saying things that got
progressively worse.
Then Mia exploded, grabbed the water bottle that was beside her and threw it at her teacher, it
caught her right in the face. And she was furious, there was a lot of back-and-forth yelling, and
they ended up here.
"Is this true?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked Mia as Kim Dokja stroked Yoosung's head and told her that
she had done well.
"How long has this been happening?"
To his dismay, Mia looked away guiltily.
"Mia, why didn't you tell me?"
Why hadn't she told him about something like this? Mia would talk to him every evening about the
things that had happened in school. She had never once mentioned this. All the worries he had
were just coming to life.
He glared up at their class teacher. "Were you aware?" he demanded. The woman opened her
mouth, frantic, but before she could give some shoddy excuse, someone else spoke up.
"Joonghyuk-ssi, can I ask you a favour," Kim Dokja said. "Can you take the children outside while
I discuss this further? Thank you."
Yoo Joonghyuk wanted to argue back, he would have loved to flip that stupid desk over, grab that
damn principal by his collar and shake him around until he gave him answers.
. . .That's why Kim Dokja was sending him out. Because he was losing his hold on his temper and
it was becoming very obvious.
Yoo Joonghyuk looked at the children, then got up from his seat. They followed him out the door
quickly. They looked anxious now, for some reason.
Why? Did they not trust him? He wouldn't have done anything! He would only have put a formal
complaint against the teacher and asked the school to take action. He wasn't going to get violent or
act in any embarrassing way, so why didn't Mia just tell him that something like this was
happening for so long? He would have changed schools if that's what it took. He did not want Mia
to have to go through all of that.
"Wait here," he told them and took a deep breath.
Now that Kim Dokja wasn't in his sight, he could see through him. It was ridiculous, how it hadn't
come to him when he was sitting right there in the room with the man, but now it made sense.
He remembered the things Kim Dokja used to do, he remembered the things he used to tell. About
how people talk, how they say they don't mean any harm, but end up hurting others and how there
was no way of stopping it.
Then he remembered the little he knew of Kim Dokja's past, the incident, the book, the reports and
the articles. Kim Dokja must have faced this before. He knew that teachers couldn't always be
trusted and their words couldn't be taken at face value just because they were teachers.
That's why he pushed the children to tell them the reason why. He wanted to know who really was
at fault, and not blame the kids, get them punished for something so unfair.
He forcibly calmed himself and walked back into the room.
"I don't think you are understanding me," Kim Dokja was saying darkly. He was still smiling, but it
was obvious to see that he was furious.
"Of course, you weren't aware that this was happening, and surely you would have done something
if you had," he said, his voice icy. "But since you weren't aware and weren't able to do anything so
far, I'm asking you to be wise about this."
"Teachers are humans, they make mistakes, sure, I agree. It was something she said in the heat of
the moment, you say? It's a mistake when done once, it's deliberate if repeated."
Yoo Joonghyuk was vaguely aware that he could go and take the seat he had left a few minutes
ago, but he stood frozen, a few feet away from the door as he watched Kim Dokja practically
threaten the principal.
Yoo Joonghyuk had never seen Kim Dokja get angry, at least, not like this.
Correction, he had never seen Kim Dokja like this. Just the whole thing he had going on in general.
Where was that awkward salaryman he had seen a couple of months ago? Was he just tricking
everyone there or something?
Can people actually do that? Can they simply threaten the head of an entire establishment like that?
And does it work? Wasn't it something from those movies? Why was he witnessing this in real
life?
And it was Kim Dokja!
Why was he like this? He had never met the man he was seeing right now.
When Kim Dokja finally finished his piece and got an apology from the principal with a promise to
make amends, he got up from his seat in one fluid motion and turned around to march out of the
room.
Then he spotted Yoo Joonghyuk and his eyes went wide, as though he wasn't aware that he had
been in the room all this time.
Kim Dokja's lips parted slightly and his eyebrows furrowed, slightly anxious. This Kim Dokja he
knew.
"I'll take my leave now," he said, gathering himself and giving Yoo Joonghyuk a tiny bow of his
head before walking past him and out of the room.
Yoo Joonghyuk turned around to watch the kids run up to Kim Dokja, Yoosung and Gilyoung
latching onto his legs immediately and Mia staring at him, arms crossed.
Yoo Joonghyuk took one look at the still-bowing principal and went after Kim Dokja.
There was so much that man had to answer to.
"Let's go home, then," Kim Dokja was telling the kids.
"What about school?"
"I've talked with your teacher about it. Half day today," the man said, a small smile on his lips.
"Ahjussi, let's go to your house today," Mia said and the other two nodded eagerly.
"If that's what you want," Kim Dokja chuckled. "We still have a lot to talk about, you know?"
The kids flinched and looked away guiltily.
"Ah, Joonghyuk-ah," Kim Dokja said, looking up when he spotted him coming closer. "I've
managed to get the kids out of school early today. Your car or mine?"
Yoo Joonghyuk was sure that if he presented his case at a court, for beating Kim Dokja up to an
inch of his life, they would absolve him of all charges.
How dare this bastard speak so casually to him right now? Like all that had never fucking
happened? Like that night two months ago didn't happen.
"No answer?" Kim Dokja smirked. "Let's ask the kids then."
Yoo Joonghyuk hated how the voting favoured Kim Dokja and he was soon being tugged towards
the white car that Kim Dokja owned. He wanted to break off, say that he'll take Mia home now
and that they would never meet again.
But before he could do that, he found himself sitting in the front seat of a Ferrarghini, the kids in
the back, quiet this time, and Kim Dokja in the driver's seat, starting the car.
"Seatbelts," Yoo Joonghyuk managed to croak out. The kids groaned softly, but complied, clicking
on their seatbelts. Kim Dokja had the audacity to chuckle.
Why hadn't his name ever come up? Why hadn't he ever bothered asking about his first name?
Why the fuck had he been satisfied with just Mr Kim?
It was not a heartbreak this time, he didn't have a lot of expectations. He had wanted to know the
man, but not anymore. He did not want to know Kim Dokja. He didn't want to have anything to do
with Kim Dokja.
"Ahjussi, do you know Oppa?" Mia asked finally as they were speeding down the road, fifteen
minutes away from their destination.
"I do," Kim Dokja answered. "Didn't your Oppa tell you?"
Yoo Joonghyuk hated this. He hated every second of this. No car ride had ever been so
uncomfortable.
"Oppa said he didn't know you," Mia revealed. "Oppa said he's never even met you."
"What?" Kim Dokja said, baffled. "But we used to know each other before. . .Did he not know who
I was?"
Yoo Joonghyuk felt Kim Dokja's gaze on him. The only reason he opened his mouth was out of
fear that Mia or the kids might say something incriminating.
"I heard of a Mr Kim," Yoo Joonghyuk forced out through his gritted teeth. "I didn't care enough
to find out."
Kim Dokja's gaze stayed on him for a few more seconds, before he turned back to the road. Yoo
Joonghyuk had a feeling that he knew he was lying.
They didn't stop at the gates as Yoo Joonghyuk usually did when he came to drop or pick Mia up,
but went inside once the gates opened, and pulled up into the garage. Kim Dokja stopped the car,
the kids got off. And so did Yoo Joonghyuk.
Even the air outside was stifling.
He had never been to Kim Dokja's house before, but now he was walking in. He couldn't care to
register anything in his head. His eyes were fixed on the back of the shorter man's head, hoping it
would just explode and save him the misery of having to look at that stupid face again.
Of course, it had been Kim Dokja.
Who else but Kim Dokja could have been like that?
Now Yoo Joonghyuk knew why he had fallen for Mr Kim without even having met the man. It
was because he reminded him of Kim Dokja, because he reminded him of all that they used to
have.
It was all starting to make sense now. And he hated it.
Before he knew it, they were in the living room, the kids sitting on the sofa, hands on their laps,
heads bowed guiltily. Kim Dokja was watching them, hands on his hips.
Then he heaved a sigh.
"I'm not mad," he said. "I'm not angry at all. I'm not disappointed either. We just wish you would
have told us."
The familiarity he was using made Yoo Joonghyuk want to grab the man by his neck and slam him
against the nearest wall. How could he? That lying, scamming bastard, how could he?
"Both of us aren't mad," Kim Dokja said giving Yoo Joonghyuk a pointed look.
Yoo Joonghyuk was mad, alright. Just not at the kids.
He swallowed.
"Why didn't you tell me?" he managed to say and Mia withdrew slightly behind Yoosung and
Gilyoung.
"You tell me everything, why didn't you tell me about this?"
"I didn't want to make you worry, Oppa," Mia said softly, tears in her eyes. "I didn't want to make
Oppa sad."
"Ahjussi, I'm sorry," Yoosung hung her head, she was crying too.
"Sorry, hyung."
Kim Dokja exhaled and then smile softly. It was a sorry smile.
"I'm sorry too," he said, plopping down on the ground, crisscrossing his legs.
"You can always tell us anything, you know?" he said. "It is really not a bother. You will never be
a bother. Understand?"
Lee Gilyoung started crying as well, and that made the waterworks that Mia was struggling to hold
back give way and soon all three of them were weeping silently, tears falling into their laps.
"Alright, come here," Kim Dokja chuckled quietly. Yoosung and Gilyoung launched themselves
off the sofa and collided with Kim Dokja, almost toppling the man over.
Mia got up slowly and hugged Yoo Joonghyuk's legs.
"Oppa, I'm sorry," she said as Yoo Joonghyuk picked her up. "I'm sorry, so please, don't be angry."
. . .It had been showing on his face. Mia was someone who could read him the best, and she had
seen him trying to restrain his fury.
"I'm not angry at you," Yoo Joonghyuk reassured her, pressing her head gently into his shoulder.
"I'm angry at someone else."
"Sorry," Mia mumbled as he felt his shirt getting soaked with her tears.
Yoo Joonghyuk absolutely hated how he was listening to every word Kim Dokja was saying to
comfort his children, patting their heads that they had buried in his lap, sobbing. The quiet voice,
soothing words, and soft chuckles were accompanied by the children's sniffles.
Yoo Joonghyuk held Mia a bit tighter and Mia clung back, standing in a strange living room, as he
looked around but saw nothing.
Chapter 31
"You guys are still getting grounded, you know?" Kim Dokja said once the kids had calmed down
they had moved to the kitchen.
"No phones?" Yoosung asked quietly.
"No, since I'm here, you don't need them, so no phones for a week," Kim Dokja said, pouring apple
juice into three glasses before passing them to the kids.
"No games either?" Gilyoung looked up, troubled at the prospect.
"Nope," Kim Dokja said, leaning back on the counter, watching the kids drink their juice in sullen
silence.
"Do you know why you are still getting punished?" Kim Dokja said.
Yoo Joonghyuk had been glaring at the man for the past fifteen minutes they had been in the
kitchen, and the bastard hadn't looked at him once. He was being an expert at pretending like Yoo
Joonghyuk didn't exist again.
"Because we didn't tell you?" Mia glanced at her brother and then looked into her glass of juice.
"No, that's not it," Kim Dokja shook his head.
"Because we made them call you to school," Gilyoung muttered.
"That's not it either," Kim Dokja said, slightly concerned at what Gilyoung had thought his mistake
to be.
"We didn't listen to Ssaem the first time," Yoosung started and Kim Dokja said, "That's also not
it."
The man closed his eyes and let out a sigh.
"Is it because I threw the bottle?" Mia piped up and Yoo Joonghyuk didn't understand how she was
accepting a punishment Kim Dokja was dishing out, someone who was a stranger.
Well, maybe she didn't consider the man a stranger, but he was still here! Her brother was still
here, so why was she listening to that bastard?
The reasonable part of Yoo Joonghyuk's brain told him that Mia was listening to Kim Dokja
because he had been the only one talking out of the two of them this whole time.
To be honest, Yoo Joonghyuk, after finding out what had happened couldn't bring himself to find a
way to reprimand or make a valuable lesson out of this situation to teach Mia. He decided to leave
the difficult part to Kim Dokja. Fuck that jerk, let him suffer.
"It's because you guys chose violence. Did you or did you not do something that hurt someone?"
The kids looked away in shame, kicking their feet and twiddling their thumbs.
"Someone made a mistake, someone did something wrong against you, and you acted. I'm not
saying it is a bad thing, but you should not have attacked someone."
Was this bastard saying that as long as they screwed them over otherwise, and not by physical
violence it was fine?
Yoo Joonghyuk knew Kim Dokja didn't exactly mean that, but it could be taken that way too.
Or maybe he meant exactly that. After seeing the way this guy was a few hours earlier, he might as
well have meant exactly that. Kim Dokja hadn't used his fists and raised his voice back in that
office, he had gotten the principal to tremble with just words.
"If something like this happens again, are you guys going to get violent again?"
The kids shook their heads in unison.
"What else could you have done?" Kim Dokja said calmly.
"I'll tell you," Yoosung said.
Shin Yoosung was very good at catching on and appeasing people, Yoo Joonghyuk noticed.
"We'll get evidence," Gilyoung muttered, a determined gleam in his eyes. "And take them to court
and send them to jail."
Yoosung nodded along. Kim Dokja's lips rose in an amused smile for a second, before he fixed his
expression.
"I'll not get angry again," Mia said, clenching her hand around the glass she was holding, then
releasing her grip. "Even if I do, I'll try to remain calm and not hurt anyone."
"Then?" Kim Dokja prompted.
"Then I'll tell Oppa."
"Good," Kim Dokja nodded his approval.
Yoo Joonghyuk stiffened when Kim Dokja finished texting whomever he was texting on his phone
and looked up at him.
"Let's get your car, Joonghyuk-ah," he said, flashing him an annoying smile. "I can drive you
there. It'll just be on the way."
"Do you have to go to work, Hyung?" Gilyoung asked. Yoo Joonghyuk was glad someone else was
doing the talking for him, he wasn't sure what he was going to say if he was forced to open his
mouth.
"Were you at work when school called?" Yoosung said, downcast.
Kim Dokja pat their heads and said, "No, I was at home. I just have to get a few things and then
pick up Biyoo and I'll be back, okay?"
Now that he thought about it, he didn't see the very popular Biyoo anywhere. She was probably at
her nursery or daycare now, he supposed.
As the kids nodded, Mia quietly said, "Can I stay here for a bit longer?"
Kim Dokja opened his mouth, closed it and looked at Yoo Joonghyuk.
Yoo Joonghyuk's immediate reaction was to say 'No' and take Mia home. Even as he opened his
mouth, he remembered that they were going to have to drive back to school to get Yoo Joonghyuk's
car, and that ride could end up being the worst one of his life. He would either lose his control and
beat up Kim Dokja, or he would sit there, teeth gnashed together, making Mia think that he was
angry at her.
"Yes," he nodded and Mia brightened up immediately.
Kim Dokja looked slightly surprised and his stupid face looked so very punchable at the moment.
It's alright, Yoo Joonghyuk told himself. He didn't mind coming back all the way here to pick Mia
up. He might just need some time to blow off steam after whatever talk he was going to have with
Kim Dokja.
Oh, he was going to talk to that bastard. He was going to force the words out of his throat if he had
to. Mia was good friends with Yoosung and Gilyoung, and unfortunately, Kim Dokja happened to
be their guardian. Even though Yoo Joonghyuk didn't want to see Kim Dokja ever again, he
supposed it was inevitable now.
Maybe he would be gone when the kids go to middle school two years later, and Mia and the other
two somehow split and go to different schools and he would no longer have to see that rat bastard.
Mia would be fine, she would make new friends.
Kim Dokja led their way back to the front where they had left their shoes.
"Ah, my pants..." Kim Dokja muttered as he pulled his shoes out of the shoe rack and looked down
at his legs. His trousers and blazer were stained with he children's tears making damp patches on
the dark fabric.
"Do you mind if I go and change? I'll be quick," he said and without waiting for a reply, rushed
off.
Yoo Joonghyuk scowled at the back of Kim Dokja's head as the man vanished back inside. He
closed his eyes and took a deep breath. It'll be fine. It'll all be fine. He would not end up
committing murder and he would not go to jail. He was better than that, he could hold back, even if
Kim Dokja was more than deserving of a good thrashing.
When Kim Dokja said quick, he actually was quick. He had taken less than ten minutes to return. .
.And he was still in a three-piece suit. Is that all this man owned? Did he not have any normal
clothes anymore, like a T-shirt and jeans?
He was going to work, Yoo Joonghyuk reminded himself. He hated that part of his brain, it might
be reasonable, but it supported Kim Dokja a bit too much for his liking.
What about that cheap-ass sleazy office suit he had worn to that dinner? What's with this contrast?
Did the others even know or were they in the dark as well? Fucking bastard. Lying asshole.
Yoo Joonghyuk's frown increased when Kim Dokja slipped on dark brown leather dress shoes.
This bastard was way too extra for his own good. How he would have loved to just gather all of
those shoes from Kim Dokja's shoe rack and set them on fire.
"Yoo Joonghyuk," Kim Dokja said, snapping him out of his wonderful thoughts about committing
arson. "I know you don't like this, but bear with it."
What did this bastard think he was doing then? He had been bearing this for so long. He had
clenched his teeth, held his tongue, and gone along with this son of a bitch for so fucking long and
he has the nerve to look at him and ask him to bear with it?
Yoo Joonghyuk felt his fingernails stab into his palm as he clenched his fists hard. He would need
to go to the gym after this to really get off some steam.
"I get it, you know," Kim Dokja was still saying. "But think of the children."
He had been thinking of the children. That's what he had been doing all this time. The reason he
didn't have Kim Dokja stabbed on a pike was because of the children.
"I get that you didn't know it was me. And we can just pretend to be strangers, that's fine."
Pretend to be strangers? He wished he could do that! And the nerve of this asshole. That's what he
had been doing all this time, Kim Dokja pretended to have never met him when he wanted and
switched around as per his convenience.
Kim Dokja always did as he wanted, Yoo Joonghyuk knew that. Whatever might have changed in
all those years, it was still the same Kim Dokja who only did what he wanted without consideration
for others.
Kim Dokja had known. All this time, Kim Dokja knew. He knew everything.
Almost a year and a half, fifteen fucking months—He always knew who Mia was. And he
pretended he didn't. He knew that Yoo Joonghyuk was right there, a fucking thirty-five minute
drive away! He was aware of how Yoo Joonghyuk had blundered around trying to meet Mr Kim
just once.
And he turned the other way.
Kim Dokja always turned the other way.
Something in his head just snapped.
Kim Dokja was still talking, saying something meant to placate Yoo Joonghyuk, but his voice only
made him angrier.
Kim Dokja was a liar. Kim Dokja was a fucking liar and Yoo Joonghyuk hated him.
Kim Dokja smiled his trademark shitty smile, then said, "I get it, but what's happened, has
happened, no? What can we do about that?"
Yoo Joonghyuk wanted to wipe that arrogant smirk off the shorter man's face. It was so obviously
fake, so fucking pretentious, he wanted it gone. He wanted Kim Dokja gone.
"We have to think about the children, Yoo Joonghyuk—"
"Shut up," Yoo Joonghyuk snapped.
"—I didn't even tell Mia anything because I thought you wouldn't have liked to see me. It was fine,
you know. We should just keep it as it is and—"
"Shut up, Kim Dokja!"
But Kim Dokja wouldn't be Kim Dokja if he didn't listen, now would he?
"Honestly, it's worked for so long, we can just continue. You can be Yoo Joonghyuk-ssi and I'll
just be Mr Kim and we don't need to know any more tha—"
"Shut up!"
Yoo Joonghyuk blamed his routine of using a punching bag for exercise and stress relief. His
clenched fist swung, aimed at the wall near Kim Dokja's head. Kim Dokja grabbed his forearm,
stopping him just inches before his fist touched the wall.
"For fuck's sake!" Kim Dokja hissed in English.
"What are you doing?" he was back to speaking in Korean again. God, this asshole liked acting all
high and mighty, giving him that holier-than-thou bullshit every time he opened that fucking mouth
of his.
"Yoo Joonghyuk, calm down," he said as Yoo Joonghyuk shook his hands roughly off him.
"Seriously," Kim Dokja sighed, an annoyed look on his face. "Since when do you have anger
management issues?"
Yoo Joonghyuk did not have anger management issues. Kim Dokja was just very good at making
him angry. And besides, what would this jerk know? He wasn't there all that time, was he? He left
years ago.
This was all because—Because...he couldn't even blame anyone for this. He would have blamed
Han Sooyoung, but Kim Dokja had known him before that, he knew Mia before that night.
Blood was rushing through his body, ringing in his ears and he could feel his heart thumping fast.
He hadn't been this angry, ever. He wasn't even sure if what he was feeling was anger. One part of
it certainly was, but he wasn't sure about all the other feelings he was experiencing at the moment.
It was all too fast and his eyes were prickling. He hated that, he didn't want to be teary-eyed in
front of Kim Dokja, even if it was due to repressed rage.
God, that bastard was talking again. Shut up! He wished he could just rip that mouth apart and Kim
Dokja would have to never talk again. His hand was itching to grab him by the throat and choke
him.
Kim Dokja was more bearable back then, on that night, at the dinner Yoo Joonghyuk didn't want to
be at. Maybe it was because he hadn't been expecting to see Yoo Joonghyuk either because he had
been much more honest back then.
Now he was back to being the lying scumbag he was.
"Do you have any idea just how ridiculous you are being right now?" Kim Dokja sighed, throwing
his head back in exasperation.
He acting like Dream Kim Dokja now. If there was anyone Yoo Joonghyuk hated more than Kim
Dokja, it was his dream version of him. Dream Kim Dokja was brutally honest and the most vile
jerk to ever exist.
"I wish I'd never met you," Yoo Joonghyuk spat. Kim Dokja stopped talking.
Good. Good, he never wanted to hear that irritating voice again.

Then a smile spread across Kim Dokja's face. "I understand your sentiments, Joonghyuk-ah."
Yoo Joonghyuk hated it when Kim Dokja called him that. He had lost the right to do that.
"Wish I could say the same, man," Kim Dokja said airily. "But I like to think of it as a quite fun
experience, you know?"
Yoo Joonghyuk's fist was flying again. He wasn't going to hit Kim Dokja, not in the house where
more important people like the kids stayed. He just needed to be rid of the rage in his system that
had been winding up his chest, squeezing it and making it difficult to breathe.
Kim Dokja scrambled to stop it like last time. His fingers caught on the fabric of Yoo Joonghyuk's
sleeves but slipped.
His fist collided with something. It wasn't the wall like was expecting it to be, like he had been
meaning to.
A pained gasp was ripped out of Kim Dokja's throat and he staggered a bit. Yoo Joonghyuk stared
as the shorter man cradled his right hand which he had managed to slip in between the wall and
Yoo Joonghyuk just in time.
"What the fuck?"
Kim Dokja had the nerve to laugh.
"Stop destroying private property, you bastard," he said, giving him a smug, crooked grin as he
straightened. "That's my beautiful wall you're trying to ruin."
No, what the actual fuck?!
Kim Dokja had his lips pursed, swallowing like he was in incredible pain but didn't want to show
it.
Because he was!
Yoo Joonghyuk knew he was. He was a hundred and ten per cent sure that he heard something
crack.
Kim Dokja held his hand in front of him and winced when he tried flexing it.
"Yeah, that's not good," he muttered. He slipped his left hand into his pockets and patted around a
bit before he pulled out the car keys and held them out to Yoo Joonghyuk.
"You're going to have to do it," he said. ". . .Or, I could call you a taxi. That would make it easier,
really."
Kim Dokja moved his right hand on instinct, flinched, and used his left hand to find his phone.
Kim Dokja was the most infuriating man he had ever met. He was hurt and he was trying to act all
cool and call Yoo Joonghyuk a taxi?
Make a doctor's appointment instead, dumbass!
Yoo Joonghyuk had been the one who had done it, it dawned on him as he stared at Kim Dokja's
pale hand that was trembling. His fist had hit him in the area where his fingers joined his palm,
crushing his knuckles into the wall.
He did that.
Yoo Joonghyuk pulled the phone out of Kim Dokja's grasp, ignoring the man's protests and threw
it onto the top of the shoe rack. He was doing his best to control his breathing. He had done
something wrong, he needed to fix it.
"You need—Doctor," Yoo Joonghyuk managed to get out.
It was in a daze that he got his own phone out and called Lee Seolhwa as he always did when Mia
got sick.
"I can take care of this on my own," Kim Dokja said stubbornly. "I can just go ask my—"
Yoo Joonghyuk didn't give a damn who Kim Dokja was talking about. Seolhwa had just picked up,
thankfully; he had been worried that she wouldn't have her phone with her at the moment.
"Seolhwa," he said once he heard the woman on the other side speak. "Kim Dokja is hurt."
Kim Dokja stared at him for a good thirty seconds, an unreadable expression on his face. Then he
turned away and picked his own phone up from the spot Yoo Joonghyuk had chucked it on the top
of the wooden shoe rack.
It was so unnerving to watch him go about as if his hand wasn't starting to swell at all. Yoo
Joonghyuk explained the situation to Lee Seolhwa as quickly as possible, with an eye on Kim
Dokja who was on his phone.
What the hell was he doing? What was so important that he couldn't even focus on his own injury?
Kim Dokja switched his phone off and started to walk away. Where was he going?
Without thinking, Yoo Joonghyuk grabbed his arm, holding him in place.
"Seolhwa wants to talk to you," Yoo Joonghyuk said, holding his phone out.
Kim Dokja looked at him for a second, then at the phone and pulled himself out of Yoo
Joonghyuk's grasp, taking the phone and putting it to his ear.
"Ah, hello, Seolhwa-ssi," he said politely.
Yoo Joonghyuk's gaze kept falling to Kim Dokja's hand which was now trembling without any
support. . .He had done that. He had done that. He had hurt Kim Dokja.
He didn't mean to.
Sure, he often had the urge to. Sure, he imagined it in his head countless times. But he never
actually wanted to do it.
He could splutter around and make excuses, but that wasn't going to fix this mistake. He would
take Kim Dokja to the doctor and get it treated. Hopefully, it was just the wall cracking and not
Kim Dokja's bones.
"Ah—There is no need...He's exaggerating, Seolhwa-ssi."
Yoo Joonghyuk frowned. He was not exaggerating. Kim Dokja was downplaying his injury
because he was too prideful to go to the fucking doctor.
"Is that so?... Alright, then— Thank you, Seolhwa-ssi. I owe you one—Ah, that's right. I forgot
about that—Haha, I'm sorry about that. Yes—Yes, I got it. Thank you again, Seolhwa-ssi."
Kim Dokja detached the phone from his ear and handed it back to Yoo Joonghyuk who went back
to talking to Lee Seolhwa for a few seconds before hanging up.
"Keys," he demanded.
"I've called a taxi for you," Kim Dokja said flatly. "You can go get your car...You can also call Mia
if you want. Lee Seolhwa-ssi said she could manage to get me a quick appointment for a check, I'll
head to the hospital, then."
"You can't drive," Yoo Joonghyuk reminded him, baffled at whatever nonsense was spilling out of
the older man's mouth.
"I don't need to drive," Kim Dokja rolled his eyes.
How was he going to go then? Fly?
"Keys," Yoo Joonghyuk said again, holding his hand out.
Kim Dokja closed his eyes in exasperation.
"I'll call the kids if you don't give me the keys right now," Yoo Joonghyuk said when he realised
that they were wasting time instead of heading to the hospital. Kim Dokja could and would dawdle
as much as possible if he was allowed to. Yoo Joonghyuk had to stop it before it happened.
Very reluctantly, Kim Dokja gave in and dropped the keys into Yoo Joonghyuk's hand.
Yoo Joonghyuk grabbed Kim Dokja's arm and dragged the man along as he marched out of the
house, just in case he tried some bullshit.
He required Kim Dokja's instructions to get the car started and drive it. Yoo Joonghyuk vaguely
registered that it was the best car he had ever driven, not that he had driven a lot of cars, but this
one was quite better than his own.
They found Lee Seolhwa at the hospital, and she rounded on Kim Dokja asking him questions,
very concerned. Yoo Joonghyuk shared the same feeling of concern.
Only when Kim Dokja was taken away to get himself fixed, did Yoo Joonghyuk allow himself to
relax and think. Process all that had just happened.
He could have just called Aileen, Kim Dokja thought sullenly as he got his hand scanned.
He could have called Aileen and told her, and she would have arranged his appointments. It would
have been faster even, Kim Dokja sighed softly, getting the cast put on his hand, the doctor
prescribing him a few tablets and supplements he was supposed to have.
He didn't need to do all this. He had a personal doctor, a psychiatrist he consulted, and a family
specialist because his parents worried too much about him. He literally did not need to do all this.
But Lee Seolhwa wanted to pay him back for the help he had given, and since Kim Dokja had been
skirting around the topic of her buying him a meal, it ended up like this. Had he known, he would
have just taken the meal option and be done with it.
"I'm really alright, Seolhwa-ssi," Kim Dokja smiled at her. She was a really nice person, he
couldn't find it in himself to dislike her.
And what right did he even have to feel hurt that Yoo Joonghyuk had called her first? Wasn't it just
obvious?
Whatever he was feeling, he crushed them all into powder and scattered them amongst the rest of
the junk in his mind. He wouldn't even notice it now. It wasn't like he had the luxury to think about
these things.
He was to blame for that. He hadn't allowed himself any time to think about stuff like that. He
wasn't good at it, Kim Dokja learned after all these years. He wasn't good at feelings or dealing
with his feelings. He could try, but it always ended up in disasters. He did much better when he put
them away until he forgot about them.
"What even happened, Dokja-ssi?" Lee Seolhwa said, mostly worried, but with a hint of
exasperation. "How did you manage to get yourself hurt like that?"
"Ah, that," Kim Dokja attempted to laugh it off. "It was nothing, just this and that."
"Joonghyuk-ssi told me that he hit you," Seolhwa said bluntly.
Why would he say that? What about his impression? What kind of dumbass does that?. . .But, well,
if he trusted her enough, it made sense that he would tell her the truth. Yoo Joonghyuk was never a
person who could lie easily.
"It wasn't his fault, Seolhwa-ssi," Kim Dokja sighed. "I did something to make him angry. It was
my fault, really."
"Is it about that fight you guys had a few months back?" Lee Seolhwa said tentatively.
There was a lot to explain if he had to tell the truth. He didn't have the energy to explain it all, so he
shortened it into, "Sort of...We were talking. Then this led to that, and I said something I shouldn't
have and well..."
He shrugged.
He wasn't sure what had triggered Yoo Joonghyuk, but he could make assumptions. He was mostly
right when it came to predicting these things. He had probably fucked up again.
Kim Dokja stared at his hand, now wrapped up tightly in a white cast. He thought he might just get
a sling pouch for it. He hadn't broken his arm, but his hand throbbed when he held it normally. . .It
was probably due to the new weight of the cast.
Honestly, he thought he deserved this. After all that he had done, this fell short of the punishment
he ought to have suffered.
Kim Dokja thought of his master. He really should have listened to him when he told him to work
on his lousy grip strength and eat well because his bones were shit. Of course, his master didn't say
it like that, but it could be shortened into roughly just that.
"I think I should apologize," he said, keeping his eyes closed for three seconds, before opening
them again.
"I think you both should sit down and discuss," Lee Seolhwa said, slightly stern. "Han Sooyoung-
ssi was right, you know? It has been years, and I don't think it is going to do either of you any good
to keep this misunderstanding going."
It wasn't a misunderstanding, really. He had fucked up and Yoo Joonghyuk had every right to be
angry. There was nothing to be fixed. It wasn't something that was meant to be fixed.
Lee Seolhwa really was the perfect female lead.
Kim Dokja smiled at her.
"I should, shouldn't I?" he said and the woman nodded earnestly.
Kim Dokja was not going to talk about this. Talking about it would just mean putting more burden
on Yoo Joonghyuk. He didn't deserve that, he didn't need to know exactly what was fucked up in
Kim Dokja's head. He had seen what it could do to his parents, his master and Han Sooyoung.
Passing it on to another person was not something he ever wanted to happen.
It was best to leave it as it is and soon, everything will fall into place and everything will go back to
normal.
"Where are you going?" Kim Dokja said as Yoo Joonghyuk drove him back.
"Home."
"I have to pick Biyoo up!" Kim Dokja cried. "Take a U-turn right there."
Yoo Joonghyuk clenched his jaw and Kim Dokja pulled up the address on the GPS, Yoo
Joonghyuk followed with an exhaled sigh.
The car ride had been mostly quiet, a few questions, a few answers and nothing else was said.
Kim Dokja supposed that Yoo Joonghyuk was feeling guilty, even after paying for his treatment.
Kim Dokja would have sent him back, but it was almost time to pick Biyoo up, his plan to go to the
office had gone down the drain and he let Yoo Joonghyuk drive him there. He didn't remind him of
his car back at the kids' school. It wasn't like he could drive anyway and it would take too long to
arrange for a taxi now. . .Ah, had to cancel the two rides he had booked. Fuck.
"Get off your phone," Yoo Joonghyuk ordered.
"I have work to do," Kim Dokja said shortly and ignored the man. If he hadn't been driving, Kim
Dokja felt Yoo Joonghyuk would have socked him in the jaw and snatched his phone away.
But he really did have work to do. . .Fuck, he was so screwed.
No, no, he could manage. It wasn't that bad. He just couldn't use his right hand for like two months
and a bit more after that because he still had to recuperate before doing any strenuous activity.
It wasn't like he was writing essays, he could manage. He could manage. He just had to talk to a
few people about this...Ah, he's fucked when it came to Minosoft.
Well, he should be able to pull out now. He had done what he wanted to, he was just staying there
to play his role and finish it off nicely. He just had a few months left until his contracted period
ended and he would be sent off anyway.
"Pull up, right there," Kim Dokja told Yoo Joonghyuk when the nursery came into view.
"I know what to do," Yoo Joonghyuk said tartly.
He pulled up just a few feet from the spot Kim Dokja usually stopped at, just to spite him, he
supposed. This petty prick. . .
Kim Dokja was out of the car as soon as he could. He was thinking that Yoo Joonghyuk would sit
in the car and wait for him, but the man walked out, closed the door and locked the car.
"I am not your driver," Yoo Joonghyuk said shortly when Kim Dokja stared at him. Then he
walked off in front of Kim Dokja as though he was the one there to pick up his child.
"Do you even know where you are going?" Kim Dokja called after him, incredulous. Yoo
Joonghyuk didn't answer and soldiered on.
Kim Dokja was pretty popular among the other parents who came to pick up their children, Yoo
Joonghyuk noted. And Kim Dokja was back to being the polite flirty self he had with Mia's teacher
back then.
Was he a womaniser or something? Can't he stop flirting for one second? He was fine normally,
what's with this?
Yoo Joonghyuk scowled as he watched Kim Dokja smile, laugh and talk with the others, mostly
mothers, and a few men sprinkled into the mix as they picked up their kids.
"Dokja-ssi, is this your friend?" a woman asked, looking at Yoo Joonghyuk.
Kim Dokja glanced at him and opened his mouth.
"I am not his friend," Yoo Joonghyuk said before Kim Dokja could speak.
He saw the looks of shock on the strangers' faces and the way Kim Dokja's eyes had widened
slightly in alarm.
Yoo Joonghyuk felt satisfied seeing Kim Dokja squirm. He knew what assumptions these strangers
were making about his relationship with Kim Dokja. And he was going to let Kim Dokja deal with
it, it wasn't like he was ever going to come back here. This was an arrangement only for today.
"Ah," Kim Dokja finally regained his voice. He turned his body slightly towards Yoo Joonghyuk
and held his uninjured hand out. "Yoo Joonghyuk-ssi is an acquaintance of mine. He kindly helped
me today, since I got hurt."
He held up his injured hand and everyone gasped and tutted in pity.
"Oh, my! How did you get hurt, Dokja-ssi?"
Clever son of a bitch. Yoo Joonghyuk would have preferred to see Kim Dokja all flustered, trying
to explain why his lover no longer existed and failing any of the prospective relationships he was
trying to make by flirting with everyone in sight.
But he couldn't have everything in life, now could he?
Various doors with cutesy animal and flower patterns opened up, catching the parents' attention.
Yoo Joonghyuk thought this was ridiculous, coming early and just waiting there to pick up their
kids. He had gone to pick Mia up exactly on time.
The teachers stepped out and called for the kids, causing a sea of toddlers to run out. It almost
startled him.
Kim Dokja bowed to someone, and walked away, leaving Yoo Joonghyuk behind. . .Fucker.
Yoo Joonghyuk resolutely followed him.
It seemed Biyoo hadn't rushed out like the others. Instead, she was sitting inside with her little bag
on her shoulders and fiddling with a coloured pencil.
"Good afternoon, Dokja-ssi," the teacher smiled.
"Good afternoon to you too," Kim Dokja said. "Was everything alright today?"
"Ah, yes, Biyoo was the same as always," the teacher assured him.
"Did she eat well?"
"Yes, she did."
"Any other problems? Did she cry or throw any tantrums?"
"None at all," the teacher smiled widely.
Kim Dokja seemed satisfied and called out to his daughter. "Biyoo-yah!"
Biyoo was a tiny little thing, Yoo Joonghyuk noted as the girl looked up at her father's voice.
When she spotted the man, she dropped the coloured pencil she was holding, got to her feet and
waddled as fast as she could into Kim Dokja's open arms.
"Appa!" she cried, throwing her tiny arms around his neck.
"Hi!" Kim Dokja said brightly, picking her up.
His wince of pain didn't go unnoticed by Yoo Joonghyuk. Kim Dokja held Biyoo properly
regardless of it and stroked her head with his free hand.
What kind of idiot was he?
"Did you have fun today?" Kim Dokja asked his daughter, making the girl sit on his arm...His
injured arm.
There is no way it did not hurt, even if Kim Dokja pretended otherwise. He couldn't even use his
hand to support the child so he was doing it all with his just forearm.
The girl nodded eagerly.
"Kim Dokja," Yoo Joonghyuk interrupted as Kim Dokja opened his mouth. Kim Dokja would
probably stand there like that for hours talking to his daughter if he let him.
"Give her here."
Kim Dokja looked up at him, almost horrified.
"No," he said blankly.
"You've held Mia," Yoo Joonghyuk found an excuse. "Give her here."
He softened his tone when he saw the concerned look the people in the vicinity were giving them.
"You are hurt. I'll hold her."
"You don't have to, Joonghyuk-ssi," Kim Dokja said. So he was continuing the stupid act of his.
"I'm fine."
Yoo Joonghyuk frowned.
"Appa!" Biyoo cried, making Kim Dokja tear his eyes away from Yoo Joonghyuk. "Appa,
ouchie?"
"Appa's fine," Kim Dokja tried reassuring the girl. He was taking his own sweet time, much to Yoo
Joonghyuk's annoyance.
He was feeling guilty, damn it! Just let him hold the child, and take them home and be done with it.
Maybe he'll cook the family dinner as well because he didn't think Kim Dokja could cook or call
someone for it at this short notice. He would go back home with Mia after dinner.
Yes, that worked.
So, now if the bastard would just let him do it.
"Kim Dokja," Yoo Joonghyuk insisted. "I will hold her. You are hurt."
Kim Dokja was a fool who liked delaying things as much as possible.
Yoo Joonghyuk ignored the idiot and held his hands out, saying, "Biyoo," as softly as possible.
Biyoo looked up at him and he could see why everyone was gushing about her. Biyoo really was
adorable. A cute face, chubby cheeks, a little nose, wide starry eyes and with her head tilted to the
side in confusion, it really was very adorable.
Yoo Joonghyuk was slightly surprised when Kim Dokja transferred Biyoo into his hands.
"Appa?" Biyoo said.
"Appa's right here," Kim Dokja said as Biyoo looked at the face of the stranger who was now
holding her.
"That's Appa's friend," Kim Dokja said. "Say hi."

Biyoo took her time, then beaming widely, said, "Hi!"
Her eyes made crescents the same way Kim Dokja's did when he smiled genuinely, Yoo
Joonghyuk noticed.
Biyoo got comfortable in his arms fairly quickly, even tugging at his hair and shirt collar lightly
every now and then as they walked to the car. Biyoo sat on Kim Dokja's lap, and the car ride was
filled with her babbling away about her day, answering the questions Kim Dokja sweetly asked
her.
Yoo Joonghyuk remembered what exactly their argument a few months ago was about.
Kim Dokja had adopted another man's child and still labelled themselves as something like friends.
Did that even make any sense? Who does that? He raised the child so he considered her his own?
Is that how things work?
With Biyoo's little giggles and Kim Dokja's soft chuckles, Yoo Joonghyuk couldn't get angry even
if he wanted to.
He was just hurt.
Yoo Joonghyuk was out of the car before Kim Dokja could even shuffle in his seat. He knew what
that bastard was going to do, he was going to struggle to open the door, making a huge show out of
it, then get out with Biyoo, and then struggle to open the door, without ever asking Yoo Joonghyuk
for help.
The same old Kim Dokja style of suffering in silence in front of everyone to see so that he could
make them all feel like shit.
He was already feeling like shit, he was not going to let Kim Dokja influence it any further with his
stupid, thoughtless actions.
Kim Dokja looked absolutely gobsmacked when Yoo Joonghyuk opened the car door for him. His
mouth was hanging open, frozen in place. Yoo Joonghyuk thought it was made for a nice view
when even Biyoo climbed into his arms when he held them out, leaving Kim Dokja sitting in the
car, like an idiot.
"House keys," Yoo Joonghyuk demanded of the man who was blinking slowly and stumbling out
of the car.
"Keypad," Kim Dokja said intelligently.
"Code?"
"I can do it myself," Kim Dokja said and indignance flared up in Yoo Joonghyuk's chest. What did
he think he was going to do after knowing the damn code to the smart lock? Steal the house?
"Close the door," Yoo Joonghyuk snapped at him before turning around and walking out of the
garage and to the front door. When he heard the car door close, he clicked the button on the key in
his hand, locking the car.
Fucking bastard. Lying asshole. Dumb piece of shit. Infuriating son of a bitch.
Cursing out Kim Dokja in his head, Yoo Joonghyuk waited at the front door for the idiot to arrive,
a few seconds late, punch in the code and open the door.
Biyoo wiggled in his arms and Yoo Joonghyuk lowered himself to set her down.
"Shoes, Biyoo-yah!" Kim Dokja said hurriedly and it was a good thing that Yoo Joonghyuk hadn't
let go of the child yet, she seemed ready to run into the familiar domain of her home.
Yoo Joonghyuk crouched down, and holding Biyoo with one hand against him, slipped her shoes
off, letting them drop onto the floor. It was strangely nostalgic, having done all of this for Mia. He
remembered how inexperienced and awkward he had been back then, after all, he was only twenty
then.
"Her socks," Kim Dokja told him and Yoo Joonghyuk understood.
The second Biyoo was let loose, she ran in at a surprising speed. They heard joyous shouts from
the children inside when they saw their younger sibling and Kim Dokja sighed loudly.
He slipped off his own shoes, put them into the shoe rack, then bent down to pick the Biyoo's
shoes and put them in as well. He closed the door and straightened, just Biyoo's socks in his hand.
Then he swallowed, avoiding Yoo Joonghyuk's gaze, fidgeting in his spot.
"Thanks," he said slowly. "For today. . .I'm sorry about all this."
"Look at my face if you are going to say something," Yoo Joonghyuk snapped and Kim Dokja
pursed his lips.
"I'll call Mia, and get a taxi for you to take back home," Kim Dokja said finally. "I'm sorry about
this."
In the end, Kim Dokja did not look at his face or say anything that Yoo Joonghyuk wanted to hear.
Yoo Joonghyuk took his own shoes off and shoved them neatly in a corner, outside the shoe rack.
Kim Dokja opened his mouth, his brows slightly scrunched up, but then he closed it, swallowing
his words. Now he knew why Kim Namwoon called Kim Dokja a control freak with OCD.
Leaving Kim Dokja behind, Yoo Joonghyuk went in. He had to prepare dinner.
Chapter 32
Chapter Notes
There had been a whole lot of noise, and the commotion in the house made Yoo Joonghyuk very
tired from just being there to witness it. He had no idea how Kim Dokja was managing this just
fine.
"Hyung! You're hurt?"

"What happened?"
"Ahjussi, are you okay?"
"Does it hurt?"
"Can you move your hand?"
"Ahjussi, I'll help you!"
"Hyung, I'll help you too!"
"Appa, Appa, Biyoo too!"
"We're having lunch and dinner here," Yoo Joonghyuk declared loudly over the squabble making
everyone close their mouths immediately.
"Why?" Mia said slowly. "Aren't we being punished?"
"You're not having a sleepover," Yoo Joonghyuk said sternly. "Kim Dokja is hurt, I will cook."
Yoo Joonghyuk found it very offensive how the three pre-teens turned to look at Kim Dokja to see
if his words were true. When had Yoo Joonghyuk ever lied? And why the fuck did they trust the
snake bastard more?
"Whatever he says," Kim Dokja chuckled giving a lighthearted shrug.
"I'll tell Donghoon about it," he said and he left.
"Did something happen?" Yoosung said softly, hugging Biyoo.
"Hey, did you do something to Hyung?" Gilyoung demanded, glaring up at him.
"Why would Oppa hurt Ahjussi?" Mia scoffed. "Oppa was helping Ahjussi. Like a knight."
Yoo Joonghyuk walked towards the kitchen. He wasn't going to say a thing if Kim Dokja wasn't.
He'd had a long day and he did not need Lee Gilyoung villainising him as well.
The kids followed him, Mia now having coaxed Biyoo out of Yoosung's hands so that she could
hold the child and show that she was a strong girl.
"Go play," Yoo Joonghyuk tried shooing them away. He needed some time to himself.
"Ahjussi, do you know where the things are?" Yoosung said blankly and Yoo Joonghyuk realised
he did not in fact know how Kim Dokja's kitchen worked.
"We'll show you," Yoosung said encouragingly, while Gilyoung scoffed loudly and muttered,
"Stupid sooty prick".
Yoo Joonghyuk was really, really tired and the sun hadn't even started to set.
"You'll have to make a lot of food, Ahjussi," Yoosung told him helpfully. "There's..." she counted
on her fingers, "Eight people today."
Great, he was preparing a feast then. And he didn't know how much these people ate normally so
he was going to have to make extra, but not too much to just let it sit and spoil.
"Biyoo can't eat too spicy food," Mia said thoughtfully. "And don't put too much crunchy hard
stuff, Oppa."
Right, he had to think about Biyoo as well. He knew what he had made Mia at that age, he could
just recreate something.
Did Kim Dokja even have all the ingredients? He didn't even know what he was going to make.
Kim Dokja had a large kitchen, connected to a large dining room with a large table and multiple
chairs pushed in close to it.
The kitchen. Yoo Joonghyuk took a few minutes just admiring it. It was his dream kitchen. Pristine
white marbled kitchen counter slab, grey and beige cabinets, sleek black stove top, a double-doored
refrigerator, a built-in dishwasher and oven. He saw the latest model of microwave he had been
eying for a while after spotting it in an advertisement online and had the urge to just take it. It
wasn't like Kim Dokja cooked anyway. What did that bastard need all this for?
"Be careful with the microwave," Lee Gilyoung said, making Yoo Joonghyuk's hand twitch
slightly. Did the kid read his mind or something?"
"It's new," the boy sneered up at him.
"Namwoon Oppa and Jihye Unnie were doing something with it," Yoosung explained to him. "And
smoke started coming out of it, so we had to throw the old one out and get a new one."
What the hell were Namwoon and Jihye doing? Yoo Joonghyuk found he wasn't all that curious
about it.
Everything was neat and clean. OCD jerk, huh?
Then he opened the cabinets and Yoo Joonghyuk stared at it for a while. He had been expecting
the similar fancy ceramic plates lined up, the way things were often arranged in those pictures he
had seen in magazines and all.
He felt his stomach churn ever so slightly.
There were labels on the stands, each person's name written on it, and their personalised things like
their Tupperware, lunch boxes, bottles, mugs, cups, and cutlery lined up in each section marked by
colourful tapes.
He saw puppies printed on the boxes, spoons and forks with a cat on their handles, chopsticks with
pretty patterns, a mug with an animal face in the section marked Shin Yoosung.
Lee Gilyoung had a green dinosaur box, and a plate decorated with bees. He had different
chopsticks and some superhero action figures on his mug.
Kim Namwoon's set was all black and silver. It matched the chunni thing he had going on, hell, he
would even say it looked pretty elegant.
Han Donghoon had his own colour scheme of blue, grey and brown.
Biyoo's section was with all the feeding bottles for toddlers, her cute bottles and boxes, and the
light plastic cutlery that didn't weigh too much so that she could practice eating with them.
Yoo Joonghyuk looked for a spot with Kim Dokja's name.
It was a very small section, with just a couple of coffee mugs that the kids and his friends had
clearly gifted him. Things like 'World's Best Dad' and 'World's Only Loser Reader'...He had a
feeling that one was from Han Sooyoung.
Further along, one rack above, there was a section for guests. Even that had personalized items
probably belonging to whoever visited here often. He saw a ship on a mug and thought it probably
belonged to Lee Jihye. The coffee mug saying 'Don't Talk To Me Till I've Had My Coffee' might
be Han Sooyoung's.
The refrigerator had various boxes with little notes and labels on them, most of them saying who
the contents inside belonged to, and some had warnings to keep off them with frowny faces drawn
with markers, and a few had reminders for people to have them. The milk bottle had a note
reminding everyone of the expiry date.
"We don't use that one for cooking meat," Yoosung told him when he pulled out a pan. "That's for
veggies only."
"Ah, and those knives are for vegetables and fruits. We have different ones for meat. And eggs and
fish too...Donghoon Oppa doesn't like too much garlic or onion, so we have a different knife for
that also."
"I'll show you, so don't worry," Yoosung could be reassuring.
It was ever so slightly bothersome though. Yoo Joonghyuk was used to having his way in the
kitchen. And suddenly there were way too many rules and requirements he was being forced to
follow.
But he held it in and got to work.
"Kim Dokja cooks?" Yoo Joonghyuk couldn't help but ask.
"If he's at home and has time," Gilyoung said, still glaring at Yoo Joonghyuk as he went through
all the shelves and drawers to make sure he knew where the things were.
"Yoon Ahjumma comes and cooks for us when he's away," Yoosung said shooting Gilyoung a
withering looking, telling him that he was not being helpful enough.
"Your cooking is still the best, Oppa," Mia reassured him.
But that hadn't been his concern at all. . .Kim Dokja can cook. He had been under the impression
that the man couldn't cook. He didn't remember him being able to cook back when they were in
college. He would always say that he was shit at it and just stick to making rice or chopping a few
vegetables when Yoo Joonghyuk let him.
Did he learn how to cook for the kids? Like how he learnt how to braid hair for Yoosung? Did he
go attend cooking classes and all?
Yoo Joonghyuk could imagine Kim Dokja at a cooking class with people who were trying to learn
the skill, smiling awkwardly and chatting away once he got comfortable.
Yoo Joonghyuk hated himself for that. He wasn't supposed to imagine things like that.
He thought he had moved on, he really had. . .Or was this because Kim Dokja was suddenly in his
life again, making him remember all those old memories?
Yes, that made sense. It was the resurfacing memories that caused him to feel unsettled. He had
moved on. He was bound to feel uncomfortable around Kim Dokja and he was bound to think
useless things.
He should just focus on the important things instead, like the kids and what they would like to eat.
Yoo Joonghyuk had barely got the vegetables out and washed them when Kim Dokja ran into the
kitchen.
"Biyoo-yah, it's bath time!" he called.
Biyoo who was having a chat with Mia and Gilyoung jumped at the word and tried running away
but was caught by her father after all.
"Appa, noooo!" she cried as Kim Dokja held her. "I hate it!"
"You need to take a bath, Biyoo," Kim Dokja told her, making the child whine and complain.
"Ah, I'll need help with her," he told the kitchen at large. "Who's helping Yoo Joonghyuk?"
"Me!" Yoosung said brightly, raising her hand.
"Okay, great," said Kim Dokja, restraining the struggling with Biyoo with both hands now. "Good
job, Yoosung-ah...Gilyoung, Mia, can you help me with Biyoo?"
"Okay!"
"Hmm."
Biyoo successfully managed to free herself from her father but was soon caught by Gilyoung and
was marched off to get showered. They could hear Biyoo's loud protests all the way until they
managed to get her into the bathroom.
Biyoo was brought out, clean and fresh. She looked very miffed about the whole thing, but once
the TV was on, she forgot about it.
They had a late lunch and Kim Dokja was absent for most of it. He somehow managed to feed
Biyoo with his left hand and then rushed off.
Yoo Joonghyuk wanted to force the man to eat, but he was locked in his office, busy on his phone
the whole time.
"You don't disturb Hyung when he's in the office," Gilyoung told him sharply. "He only goes into
the office for super important things."
"What does he do?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked.
"Things," was Gilyoung's answer. It wasn't good enough.

"No one knows what Ahjussi does, Oppa," Mia explained better. "He's always on his laptop or his
phone. He says he's working and that's it."
"He's a businessman," Yoosung scolded the other two for not knowing what Kim Dokja did. "He
has a lot to take care of."
"Priiii~nce!" Biyoo managed to say cutely. It was very adorable that she thought her father was a
Prince, but that was not very helpful.
None of the answers were satisfactory, but Yoo Joonghyuk supposed the kids wouldn't know much
anyway.
At four in the evening, Kim Dokja reappeared. He struggled a bit in the kitchen and finally made
Biyoo a quick snack, much to Yoo Joonghyuk's indignance. Then he fed the child, played with her
for fifteen minutes, spoke to the other three for some time and left again.
"Ahjussi's really busy today," Yoosung muttered, sullen.
"Hey, Hyung said he'd spend more time with us this weekend," Gilyoung chided.
"We're grounded though," Mia grumbled. "I guess we won't be going anywhere."
"We can't even meet online," Yoosung's shoulders dropped.
"Should've thrown the bottle harder," Gilyoung whispered to the other two. "We got in trouble
anyway."
"Don't let Ahjussi hear that!" Yoosung hissed, but Mia seemed to agree with Gilyoung's
sentiments.
Yoo Joonghyuk decided the best thing he could do at the moment was ignore this. He was
concerned, very concerned actually. But he also wished they had thrown the bottle harder at that
teacher.
He was not good at dealing with this. . .Besides, was Mia always like this? She was usually well-
behaved.
In the evening with the sky turning a deep purple, Kim Namwoon trudged in.
"Woah, what the heck?" he said when he saw Yoo Joonghyuk in the kitchen making dinner.
"Captain? What're you doing here?"
Then his face scrunched up in disgust. "No, don't tell me! You're not—Please, tell me this is not a
stupid date with Hyung."
"It's not," Yoo Joonghyuk said sharply before Kim Namwoon could start wailing and complaining
about this.
"Really?" the younger man said, squinting suspiciously. "I'm telling Jihye."
"Kim Dokja is injured," Yoo Joonghyuk said quickly to avoid any further misunderstandings.
"Injured?"
"He broke his hand," Yoo Joonghyuk said. "I'm helping."
Kim Namwoon didn't seem all that content with his answer and texted Lee Jihye anyway.
"Oh, you actually broke your hand," Kim Namwoon said when he spotted Kim Dokja emerge out
of his office.
"What?" Kim Dokja snapped and walked past him to the kitchen.
"What do you want?" Yoo Joonghyuk hissed when Kim Dokja struggled his way again with his
one hand.
"Hey, I just need a coffee," Kim Dokja said defensively. The asshole still didn't ask for Yoo
Joonghyuk's help as he made a black coffee, and went to the refrigerator to get a few ice cubes.
"Oh, yeah, Han Sooyoung said she's going to be here for dinner," Kim Dokja said, plopping the ice
cubes into his hot coffee, making the ice crack and clink within the mug, melting fast.
"Sorry about this, Yoo Joonghyuk," the man sighed. "I would have helped, but I have things to
take care of. I'm sorry."
And he was gone again.
"Woah, Captain," Kim Namwoon said, leaning against the kitchen entrance. "You could kill him
with just looks."
"Kim Namwoon!" they heard Kim Dokja's voice say loudly. "Are you done with your practice
worksheets?"
Kim Namwoon's face distorted in annoyance.
"I said I'd do it, you jerk!" he yelled back. "I'll do it!"
"I'm holding you to your word!"
"Yeah, yeah, whatever!"
Kim Namwoon slouched away, swearing wildly under his breath. Yoo Joonghyuk heard a door
slam shut on the upper landing a few minutes later and was actually surprised that that was all it
took to get Kim Namwoon to study.
"We're having dinner early today?" Kim Namwoon said when Gilyoung finally called him
downstairs after Yoo Joonghyuk sent the boy to fetch everyone.
"We are having dinner at the same time as always," Yoo Joonghyuk said. "Get your plates."
"Same time for you, Captain," Kim Namwoon rolled his eyes. "We eat later in this house."
"Not today, then," Yoo Joonghyuk folded his arms, watching the children get their things
obediently. Lee Gilyoung took Han Donghoon's set out as well and laid them all out on the kitchen
counter.
"Come on, squirt," Kim Namwoon said, picking up Biyoo with a soft groan. And it was a very
strange thing to witness, Kim Namwoon handling a child gently. The Kim Namwoon who said
everyone should just go kill themselves was being gentle with a child.
"Hey, someone pull out Biyoo's chair," he said, holding the child up as he walked to the dining
table. Shin Yoosung went to pull out the yellow and white chair with a high seat for children and
Kim Namwoon put Biyoo down on it.
"We are not eating until Hyung comes," Lee Gilyoung said, it sounded more like a fact than a
demand. "Hyung comes after nine."
"Go call him," he instructed.
Not even Mia followed his words. It was a very humbling experience.
"He's in his office," Kim Namwoon sighed. "You don't disturb him when he's there."
At Yoo Joonghyuk's expression of utter bafflement and disappointment at Kim Namwoon's answer,
the younger man huffed around, defensive.
"Hey, he's doing important stuff. I can't just barge in and ruin things," he snapped, glaring at
everything in sight until Biyoo smacked him in the face with her little hand.
"Listen, Captain," Kim Namwoon sighed, fixing his frown for Biyoo's comfort. "He doesn't sit in
that office of his until it's something very important. We don't eat dinner at this time anyway. None
of us are actually hungry just yet. We'll wait."
Kim Namwoon's phone gave a beep and he pulled it out. Then he held it out to show Yoo
Joonghyuk a text from Han Donghoon reading, 'Hyung's right. We can wait.'
Even as Yoo Joonghyuk was reading the previous texts, a new one popped up. 'Dokja-hyung
always shows up. Don't worry.'
"I am not worried," Yoo Joonghyuk said loudly.
He didn't know that Han Donghoon had come out of his room and had been listening to the
conversation all this time. He was under the impression that someone was going to take his food up
to his room.
So they waited.
Kim Namwoon sat on his phone. Gilyoung sat playing with Biyoo while Yoosung and Mia chatted
away merrily with each other.
Yoo Joonghyuk took a seat at the dining table as well, his arms folded, glaring at the table. The
food was getting cold. If only that bastard had some sense to tell him about when they usually had
dinner, this wouldn't have happened.
Yoo Joonghyuk kept glancing at the clock in the room. Time was crawling by and he was getting
more pissed off by the second.
He just wanted today to end already.
Han Sooyoung arrived.
Yoo Joonghyuk was ready to stab somebody.
"Oi, did you do something?" was the first words Han Sooyoung threw at his face.
When Mia mentioned a Sooyoung Ahjumma, he should have connected the dots. But he didn't
because his preoccupation then was to know if Mr Kim was dating this Sooyoung Ahjumma.
God damn it.
Han Sooyoung clicked her tongue at Yoo Joonghyuk's lack of answers and sat down at the table.
She pulled her phone out and did something with it for a while. Then she got up and marched into
the house.
"Kim Dokja is in his office," Yoo Joonghyuk told her.
"I know," she said and continued on.
"She's allowed to do that," Mia broke away from her talk with her friends to pat Yoo Joonghyuk's
arm comfortingly.
"She probably just asked him if she could enter," Kim Namwoon said lazily, not looking up from
his phone.
Why couldn't he have done that then? . . .Right, Yoo Joonghyuk didn't have Kim Dokja's contact
number.
But that was no excuse! All the other people in this room had the bastard's number. They could
have just fucking called him! The food was getting cold, everyone was waiting and what the fuck
was Kim Dokja doing with an injured hand anyway?
Yoo Joonghyuk had had enough.
"Hey! He's busy!" Gilyoung cried when Yoo Joonghyuk got to his feet.
"Not busy enough," Yoo Joonghyuk said through gritted teeth.
"He's not dating that nasty-tempered woman," Kim Namwoon said in a teasing tone that Yoo
Joonghyuk had heard Lee Jihye use before.
Kim Namwoon got the message when Yoo Joonghyuk glared at him and shut up quickly, lowering
his gaze to his phone again, making Mia snicker at his cowardice.
Yoo Joonghyuk ignored the kids' protests and marched off to find Kim Dokja's stupid office
himself. He didn't even know where it was in this big fucking house.
It was Han Sooyoung's loud voice that told him where the office was.
The door to the room was left open, presumably when Han Sooyoung stormed in and he could hear
Han Sooyoung yelling, "Are you crazy? What were you even thinking? Were you thinking at all,
dumbass?"
"He has streams to do," Kim Dokja's voice said, much quieter and Yoo Joonghyuk stopped in his
tracks.
"So what, you idiot—"
"He was going to hurt his hand, he's right-handed. It would have ruined his streams," Kim Dokja
said wearily. "He has to take care of Mia as well. And he's too stubborn to ask anyone for help."
Han Sooyoung let out a short derisive laugh.
"Are you even listening to yourself?" she hissed, sounding very angry. "You—And you think it
was fine to just sacrifice your stupid right hand for that bastard? You are right-handed too. What
about your work?"
"I didn't sacrifice anything, don't be ridiculous. And I'll manage."
"Manage, my foot! Kim Dokja, do you really think that stupid streaming thing he does is more
important than what you do?"
"It's not about what's important—"
"It's exactly about what's more important!" Han Sooyoung yelled. "No, why is his hand important
and yours isn't?"
"I didn't say anything like that!" Kim Dokja proitested. "It just happened, spur of the moment."
"Spur of the moment, I'll crack your skull open in the spur of the moment," Han Sooyoung
threatened. "Do you realise what you've done? Do you have any idea how you've fucked up right
now?"
He heard a creak of a chair and Kim Dokja let out an exhausted groan.
"He can just put out some shoddy announcement that he's not going to stream for a while cause he's
hurt. Do you think you can do that?"
"Han Sooyoung, I don't need this right now," Kim Dokja said, tired.
"Yeah, you don't need this any time," Han Sooyoung snapped. "You always go around doing this.
What about all the work you have to do, you brainless idiot?"
"Listen, I've heard enough from Bihyung already—"
"I don't think you've heard enough! Yoo Sangah said you already got fired from Minosoft."
"Talking to Yoo Sangah now?" Kim Dokja's voice was playful. Han Sooyoung wasn't having any
of it.
"Don't try to change the subject, you bastard!" she snarled. "Did you call your parents?"
"Ah, I'll do that later," Kim Dokja sighed. "I already sent a message. I'll call them when I get time."
Han Sooyoung swore loudly.

"You keep doing this," she said. "You fucking keep doing this."
"Han Sooyoung," said Kim Dokja. "Just go and eat. Play with Biyoo or whatever."
"What about you? The kids are waiting."
"Ah. . .Are they?" Kim Dokja said. "I'll be there soon. I just need to make another call."
"You, did you consult Aileen?" Han Sooyoung demanded.
"Not yet."
"The fuck do you mean not yet, you son of a bitch!"
"Don't insult my mother like that," Kim Dokja said weakly.
"Fuck you!" Han Sooyoung snapped. "God, I'm going to call your mother myself, I swear! Call
Aileen right now, you dumbass."
"I went to the hospital," Kim Dokja said, annoyed. "How do you think I got this?"
"You should've still gone to Aileen, she knows you best," Han Sooyoung scolded. "Are you even
allowed to just pop pills like that? You need her approval first."
"I was going to ask her when I got the time," Kim Dokja said. "I'm not stupid. It wasn't urgent, I put
it off."
"Why did you even go to the hospital?" Han Sooyoung huffed. "You never go to the hospital."
"Yoo Joonghyuk took me."
"And you let him?"
"He called Lee Seolhwa, and she wanted to repay the favour."
Han Sooyoung was silent for a while, then she sighed loudly.
"Kim Dokja," she said slowly. "Do you realise what you are doing? You keep doing this and that
because of that some bastard like some pathetic loser—Where's your sense of responsibility, huh?
You keep talking about that all the time. Where is it now?"
"Han Sooyoung, really?"
"Yeah, really! You keep doing this all the time."
"I don't know what you—"
"You know exactly what I'm talking about!"
"Sooyoung—"
"I'm worried. I'm really worried, damn it! It always happens this way and you—"
"I'm fine, Han Sooyoung," Kim Dokja said. The chair creaked again. "I'm perfectly fine, I'm not
doing anything. I really am fine. Don't worry."
Han Sooyoung let out a frustrated groan, and then said, "You better call Aileen first thing, and then
call your mother. Talk to Jung Heewon too, she's worried."
"How does she know?" Kim Dokja said, sounding anxious. "Does everyone know now?"
"No shit," Han Sooyoung scoffed. "Kim Namwoon told everyone first thing. Don't even think of
lecturing the kid. It's the one thing he's done right. It wasn't like you were going to tell anyone
anyway, were you? You only told me because I'd have thought you were dead otherwise."
Kim Dokja remained silent.
"Stupid squid," Han Sooyoung grumbled.
Yoo Joonghyuk flinched when he heard footsteps, he tried but he didn't make it quick enough to
pretend as though he had just arrived there and hadn't stood outside eavesdropping.
Han Sooyoung froze when she spotted him too.
"Close the door on your way out," Kim Dokja called, making Han Sooyoung look into the room
for a second.
Yoo Joonghyuk braced himself for Han Sooyoung to alert Kim Dokja and for the man to rush
outside and get disappointed in Yoo Joonghyuk's behaviour, but it never came.
Han Sooyoung just let out a loud scoff and closed the door.
"How long have you been here?" she sneered at Yoo Joonghyuk. "Did you hear everything?—You
know what, I don't care."
"I hate you two bastards sometimes," she grumbled stomping past Yoo Joonghyuk.
"What are you standing there for?" she said when Yoo Joonghyuk didn't move. "He said he'll
come. He's got some shit to do. And your food better be fucking worth it."
Kim Dokja, true to his word, was there on time.
Yoosung and Gilyoung scrambled to feed him because he couldn't use his hand. Han Sooyoung
and Mia were more interested in Biyoo's well-being instead.
Yoo Joonghyuk would have said something about the phones on the table, but when Han
Donghoon's texts came flying in, he realised it was a necessity in the household and let them be.
"Holy—son of a—"
"Han Sooyoung," Kim Dokja sighed softly as Han Sooyoung gingerly placed a hand over her
mouth after having her first spoonful.
"Hey, Yoo Joonghyuk, how much to hire you to cook for me?" Han Sooyoung said. Yoo
Joonghyuk held the responses he had because there were kids at the table.
He decided to focus on Kim Dokja instead. He had tried telling the kids that he could manage with
his left hand and that they should focus on eating their own dinner first, but the kids won in the end
and he was now getting spoonfed.
There was an embarrassed flush on his cheeks as he opened his mouth for the kids and chewed.
Yoo Joonghyuk saw him pause for a second, his eyes growing wide, staring at the food on the
plate. Then he blinked and went back to eating normally like he hadn't just done any of that.
"It feels weird," Yoosung said when Kim Dokja asked them to eat a quarter of their portion before
trying to make him eat. "Eating Joonghyuk Ahjussi's cooking at home."
Lee Gilyoung nodded.
"It's like having restaurant food but not at the restaurant."
Yoo Joonghyuk didn't know his house was equal to a restaurant to these kids, especially
considering all the times they had stayed over for dinner. Was it their idea of grabbing a meal with
their friends or something?
"I'd kill for this," was Kim Namwoon's praise. "I'm serious, I would literally kill for this."
He picked up his phone from the table, and with one hand, unlocked it, clicked a photo and sent it
to someone, smirking to himself. He had probably sent it to Lee Jihye judging by the look on his
face.
Halfway through dinner, Kim Dokja's phone rang and Han Sooyoung let out a sigh.
"I'm sorry," Kim Dokja said, getting out of his chair. "I'll be back super quick, okay?"
Yoo Joonghyuk looked down at his plate, listening to Kim Dokja's footsteps retreat out of the
dining room. He wanted this day to be done already. It had hardly been twenty-four hours and he
was completely drained. He wanted to go home, lie in his bed, think about the day, come to peace
with all of it and then have a good night's sleep.
They could hear Kim Dokja's voice from the dining room which was quiet now. It wasn't enough
to make out what he was saying, but he seemed to be speaking a lot.
A few minutes later, he returned, apologized again and they continued eating, the chatter in the
room coming back.
It seemed that Kim Dokja had noticed the dip in the mood because he said, "Well, good news," and
everyone listened to him.
"I'm going to be working from home for a while,"
The kids' faces brightened.
"You're already working from home," Kim Namwoon rolled his eyes.
"I mean I don't have to go to Minosoft every day," Kim Dokja sighed and Yoo Joonghyuk
wondered why the name Minosoft sounded a bit familiar. He knew it was a game company. Was it
a competitor or something? He never cared about those meetings anyway, and he had to attend
only very few, so he was mostly out of the loop.
"Ah, that thing," Han Sooyoung scoffed. "You'll miss having your fun now, huh?"
"Are you sure you're not jealous?" Kim Dokja smirked and if it weren't for Biyoo getting Han
Sooyoung's attention, Yoo Joonghyuk was sure that she would have jumped over the table and
strangled Kim Dokja.
"Hyung, hyung, you'll be at home all day?" Gilyoung asked.
"As much as I can," Kim Dokja nodded. "If some emergency comes up, then I'll have to go."
"Ahjussi, can we go to the mall this weekend then?" Yoosung asked tentatively.
"You're still grounded," Yoo Joonghyuk said and Yoosung clicked her tongue, Mia frowned and
Gilyoung scowled at him. . .Ah, so they had planned it. They were expecting Kim Dokja to get
swept up in the mood and agree to it, but then Yoo Joonghyuk went and ruined it.
"Grounded?" Han Sooyoung sounded very surprised. "You three? Why? What did you do? And
how did you get caught?"
"Han Sooyoung," Kim Dokja chided, but she just shrugged. "What?" she said airily. "These kids
are too smart to get caught."
Once their plates were all cleared, Kim Dokja tried to clap his hands but then remembered he was
injured and couldn't do that anymore, so he cleared his throat awkwardly.
"Let's get to cleaning now then?" he said getting up from his seat.
It was the game thing Lee Jihye was talking about. . .And yes, it was very amusing to watch.
Chairs scraped the floor all around as everyone got up from their seats, piling up their things onto
the largest plate and going around the table, with a disgruntled Kim Namwoon leading the way.
Mia was behind him, followed by Gilyoung, Biyoo, Han Sooyoung, Yoosung and then finally Han
Donghoon.
It was the first time Yoo Joonghyuk was actually seeing the boy called Han Donghoon. His
posture was slightly slouched, his footsteps were incredibly quiet, he had headphones slung across
his neck, hair falling onto his eyes, dark circles under them.
He sensed Yoo Joonghyuk looking at him and stiffened, then he gave a quick bow in his direction
without meeting his eye and hurried after the others.
Yoo Joonghyuk supposed he should follow this, so he got up from his own chair at the dining
table.
Around the table, out of the dining room, and into the kitchen, the train moved.
"Hey, who moved the stool?" Kim Namwoon said once he entered the kitchen.
That would be Yoo Joonghyuk. He had found a stool near the sink and he put it away for easy
access to the taps. Kim Namwoon found the stool and kicked it into place in front of the sink, as
Kim Dokja went and pulled open the dishwasher.
Kim Dokja gave a quick rinse to his plates and cutlery, then arranged them into the dishwasher.
Yoo Joonghyuk watched carefully to figure out what went where. Kim Dokja was a bit particular
about order, it would seem.
Honestly, he was slightly pissed. What did he wash all those other utensils for then? He could have
just used the damn dishwasher instead of scrubbing and wiping and putting them all back in after
they had dried.
The line followed, the kids hopping onto the stool, running water through their plates, getting off
the stool and loading their things into the dishwasher. Biyoo had to be helped up, and someone had
to assist her with things, Han Sooyoung who was behind her took the role.
And once they were done loading, they dispersed off into different directions the second they were
out of the kitchen.
Yoo Joonghyuk was the last one in line that he had ended up following in a daze.
After he slid his last plate into the bottom rung of the dishwasher, he looked up to see the corners
of Kim Dokja's mouth struggling to stay down as he tried to stop himself from smiling. The man's
eyes were shining with amusement and Yoo Joonghyuk glared at him.
Kim Dokja just shrugged lightly and went over to pull a drawer Yoo Joonghyuk was now familiar
with. Kim Dokja picked up a tablet from the box it was in, ripped off the plastic cover slipped it
into the designated compartment and closed it, before pulling up and shutting the dishwasher.
"I'll get it, Hyung!" Lee Gilyoung said brightly from somewhere behind in the kitchen.
The boy had to stretch to reach the panel of switches and he turned a switch on. The lights on the
display screen of the dishwasher showed up when Kim Dokja pressed the start switch.
Yoo Joonghyuk stood there for a while, even after the machine had started whirring away. Then he
looked up from the timer on the display screen at Kim Dokja who was standing right in front of
him.
Kim Dokja looked away first.
"Thanks for today," he said. "And I'm sorry about all this."
He was apologising for the wrong thing. Yoo Joonghyuk was the one who did that to his hand, his
cooking for the family wasn't what required an apology. Kim Dokja had known it was Yoo
Joonghyuk all along, for over a year and he had acted like he was none the wiser. Where's his
apology for that? Where's his apology for tricking Mia all this time and letting him run around in
circles, avoiding him?
If he had just come clean at the start, Yoo Joonghyuk felt he wouldn't be this furious about the
whole thing. But the man had let it continue, he didn't have to do all this secret identity charade for
so long. He could have just told him, but he didn't. So where's his apology for deceiving him?
"Take Han Sooyoung with you when you leave."
"What?"
"You need to get home, I could call a taxi if you wanted," Kim Dokja said, walking towards a
cupboard and getting a glass. He filled it with water and took a sip.
"But I was thinking I'd just let you have my car, and you and Mia can go get your car, then go
home. Han Sooyoung will drive mine back, she's staying here for the night."
Yoo Joonghyuk opened his mouth, irked when he was interrupted by Kim Dokja's phone ringing
from the other room.
"I have to get that," Kim Dokja muttered and was gone.
How did they ever manage to make a being that was so fucking annoying?
"Are you really going to wait?" Han Sooyoung said, annoyed as she stared down at Yoo Joonghyuk
who was sitting on the sofa, arms crossed.
"He's going to take a while, you know?" she said and he ignored her again.
Kim Dokja was bound to come out of that stupid office of his sometime. And Yoo Joonghyuk was
going to force that bastard to speak and listen and get his long-due talk done.
It was a long day, he was tired, and he wanted this done as soon as possible so that he wouldn't
have to go through this nonsense ever again.
"You're not going to be able to talk to him today," said Han Sooyoung patronizingly. "Just get your
sister and go home. I have to drive back too, don't you know it's dangerous for a woman to be
outside late?"
Yoo Joonghyuk shot her a disinterested glare.
Han Sooyoung let out a heavy sigh and dropped herself onto the other end of the sofa, made herself
comfortable and got on her phone.
Yoo Joonghyuk should have known. Now that he was sitting in silence, Han Sooyoung actually
busy with something and not bothering him, all the signs that linked Mr Kim and Kim Dokja.
Why had he been so adamant in believing that they were two different people?
Inconsistencies, right there were inconsistencies in their stories.
Kim Dokja didn't have parents. . .No, hang on, he said he didn't have his parents around, probably
owing to his mother going to prison for murdering her husband. He never said he didn't have
parents, he just said they weren't around. Right, he had just believed his own interpretation to be
true.
He really should have known when he heard of Mr Kim indiscriminately helping everyone he
came across. Only Kim Dokja would have done that. Not a lot of people like that exist, it might as
well cause a cosmic imbalance if there were two people like that in the same country.
He couldn't help but think of all the stories about others meeting Kim Dokja. . .Had he been one of
those pitiful people he had taken in and got close with all those years ago? It was probably just
Yoo Joonghyuk who went ahead at caught unnecessary feelings.
He was tired of this, he could feel his anger slowly extinguishing itself. There really was no point
holding on to the past. It was never going to happen, it wasn't meant to be.
"You knew Kim Dokja from college," he said out of the blue making Han Sooyoung look up from
her phone.
"Yeah," she said, shifting slightly on the sofa, into a more comfortable position.
"How?"
"What do you mean how?" Han Sooyoung said incredulously. "We were in the same department,
he was my senior."
"He never mentioned you," Yoo Joonghyuk said, making Han Sooyoung sit up in indignation. She
opened her mouth furiously, then closed it and laid back on the sofa.
"He never mentioned you either," she said scathingly. "Kim Dokja doesn't mention people by their
names if they don't know each other. You were 'roommate' until I found out recently."
Now that Yoo Joonghyuk thought about it, Kim Dokja did have that habit. . .And he might have
mentioned a friend every now and then. Was that Han Sooyoung?
"He told you," Yoo Joonghyuk said remembering something else that ticked him off.
"He can tell me anything," Han Sooyoung snapped. "You have no right to get mad at that. I'm his
best friend, he's going to tell me shit and there's nothing you can do about it."
Kim Namwoon and Han Donghoon had disappeared into their rooms, the kids said they were
going to play in their rooms with Biyoo until Yoo Joonghyuk took Mia and left. Kim Dokja was
holed up in his office, leaving only Han Sooyoung and Yoo Joonghyuk sitting on the sofa in the
large living room.
"You," Han Sooyoung said slowly, deciding that silence was too much of a luxury to give Yoo
Joonghyuk. "You did that to him, didn't you? His hand?"
Yoo Joonghyuk didn't respond.
"He said it was an accident, but it didn't look like one," Han Sooyoung sounded dangerous at the
moment. "I'm warning you, Yoo Joonghyuk, if you do anything to that guy, I'll kill you myself."
Yoo Joonghyuk could have scoffed out loud at the ridiculousness of the whole situation.
He wasn't going to hit Kim Dokja, that man had just butted in and got into another one of his stupid
accidents.
"I hope you feel guilty," Han Sooyoung's voice brought him out of his thoughts of the past. "I hope
you feel shit guilty and it eats you up."
Yoo Joonghyuk pursed his lips.
"That squid's not going to ask for help either, and all the headache he's going through right now is
your fault. But he won't ever say that. He won't ever make you the villain. But you better know that
you are one," she said coldly. "You better feel guilty enough to want to kill yourself."
"Can't you shut up?" Yoo Joonghyuk hissed out through gritted teeth.
He would feel an adequate amount of guilt without anyone telling him what to feel. And he wasn't
going to take all the blame either. He hadn't asked Kim Dokja to do that, the idiot had done it all by
himself. He was supposed to be teaching Mia how to not go to violence as the first solution, and he
had done just that. That was his mistake. He swung his fist, which he would feel guilty for.
Anything else was not his business. . .Kim Dokja was an asshole who managed to get under his
skin so fucking easily.
"Kim Dokja watches my streams?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked, recollecting what he had heard earlier
that evening. Han Sooyoung scoffed but didn't give him an answer.
He didn't need one. Kim Dokja used to watch his streams before, he didn't think he would still be
watching.
Was he using a different account? Because Yoo Joonghyuk remembered his old account, and he
used to wait to see the familiar one pop up in his chat, just a silly comment or a message of
encouragement was enough to make his entire day better back then. For months after Kim Dokja
had left without telling him, Yoo Joonghyuk waited for any sign that the man was still watching
him from somewhere.
So he had been watching, then. Just another ID so that Yoo Joonghyuk wouldn't know it was him. .
.Pathetic fool.
Yoo Joonghyuk didn't feel anything about the conclusion he had reached. So what if Kim Dokja
used to watch him, and still watched him? It meant nothing anymore. It didn't fix all that had
happened. Nothing could erase all of that.
What mattered was that Han Sooyoung was right and Kim Dokja was an idiot who never put
himself first when it was needed and ended up causing everyone around him to worry.
When Kim Dokja finally left his office and walked into the living room, Han Sooyoung yawned
widely.
"If I crash your car 'cause I was sleepy, it's all this bastard's fault," she said ignoring Kim Dokja's
surprise at still seeing Yoo Joonghyuk in his house.
Kim Dokja stood there silently for a few seconds then said, "Where're the kids?"
"Upstairs," Han Sooyoung said and Kim Dokja turned around immediately.
"It's time to put Biyoo to sleep," Han Sooyoung said when she saw Yoo Joonghyuk's frown on his
face. "That's probably the only reason he's out anyway."
"Why is he so busy?" Yoo Joonghyuk demanded, perhaps the only person who could give him a
proper answer was Han Sooyoung.
"Because he has work to do," Han Sooyoung said nonchalantly, yawning again.
"What work?" Yoo Joonghyuk was annoyed as it is, this woman wasn't doing anything to help the
situation.
"Work."
"Han Sooyoung," at Yoo Joonghyuk's threatening growl Han Sooyoung threw her hands up in
indignation.
"He does a lot of things, man," she snapped. "He's got multiple businesses to take care of. Even I
don't know all of it. I just know the important bits. If you want to know everything, go ask him
yourself."
"Why's he fired from Minosoft?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked. He didn't know how they could fire Kim
Dokja because he didn't seem like he was someone who was working a nine-to-five job.
"His shitty contract was coming to an end anyway," Han Sooyoung waved it away. "And he says
he's done what he wants to already so it doesn't matter. Not sure if he's telling the truth or not, but
he said he'll take care of it. It's not like you can do anything about it anyway. Don't worry about it."
"Ha! God forbid, he ever makes you worry about it!" she added with an icy huff.
What was that supposed to mean?
What did Kim Dokja actually do? Multiple businesses? What? Illegal dealings? Why was no one
elaborating on that? Why can't they just give him the name of the profession? Han Sooyoung was
a web novel writer, and Yoo Joonghyuk was a pro gamer; why was only Kim Dokja's
'businessman' told in such arbitrary terms?
Yoo Joonghyuk stood up when Kim Dokja reentered the living room looking slightly sheepish.
"Yoo Joonghyuk, Mia fell asleep," he said. "So you'll have to come upstairs to get her. I would
have, but, you know," he held up his right hand.
Yoo Joonghyuk took a deep breath and released it slowly.
"Han Sooyoung," he called the menace which looked up at him, irritated. "Let's go."
"Get your sister first," Han Sooyoung said, refusing to move from the sofa she was lounging on.
"I'm not bringing Mia," Yoo Joonghyuk said. He would have loved to have a stick or something to
just hit Han Sooyoung with and shove her off the sofa without touching her.
"What?" Kim Dokja said, confused.
"We're staying here," Yoo Joonghyuk declared.
Han Sooyoung's mouth fell open as she looked up at him, Kim Dokja was staring at him with a
similar expression of complete bafflement.
"I'm going to get our necessary things," Yoo Joonghyuk said. "I need my car. Han Sooyoung, get
up."
Han Sooyoung headed his words for a change and sat up straight on the sofa.
"What the fuck are you saying?" she hissed when Kim Dokja said nothing. He was still buffering.
"We're staying here until that bastard heals," Yoo Joonghyuk said nodding curtly at Kim Dokja
whose jaw went slack at the grand reveal of the plan Yoo Joonghyuk had come up with in the time
that Kim Dokja was gone.
An exasperated laugh left Han Sooyoung's mouth as she got to her feet and glared up at Yoo
Joonghyuk, readying herself for a fight.
"What do you think you are doing?" she spat.

"It's as you said," Yoo Joonghyuk stared down his nose at her, just as condescendingly as she was
glaring at him. "I caused a problem, I will take responsibility. Mia and I will be staying here until
Kim Dokja heals."
"You don't need to do that!" Kim Dokja cried, getting their attention. "Really. Don't worry about it,
Yoo Joonghyuk. It wasn't your fault anyway."
"And I'll be fine," the man said waving his uninjured hand. "I just need to call the housekeeper and
arrange for a driver."
"What about the children?"
"What about them?—Ah, I was planning on calling the cook again and I'll just have to arrange a
babysitter for Biyoo. It's all going to work out. You don't have to let this bother you, seriously. You
can go home in peace."
"No," Yoo Joonghyuk said. He couldn't go home in peace. That was the issue. Kim Dokja and Han
Sooyoung seemed to come from the same species of things that could say things that would live
rent-free in his head.
Kim Dokja was suffering through an increased workload because of him, and he would have to do
a lot, calling different people to take care of the children and help him run the household properly.
This was all caused because of a stupid accident where Kim Dokja was daft enough to try to stop
Yoo Joonghyuk from hurting himself by placing his hand between his fist and the wall seconds
before they hit each other.
"No?" Kim Dokja said, taken aback. "What do you mean no, you prick? Just go home! You don't
even want to see me, stop trying to act all cool and leave."
"I was not asking for your opinion," Yoo Joonghyuk glared at him.
"It's my house!"
"The children will want me."
"And if I say I want you gone, they'll kick you out."
"No, they won't."
"You don't know that."
"What are you two even doing?" Han Sooyoung snapped, having had enough of this bullshit.
Kim Dokja looked hopeful, as though expecting Han Sooyoung to be reasonable and fix this mess.
But since when has Han Sooyoung ever been reasonable? And why did he even think that she
would be able to convince Yoo Joonghyuk?
"I heard you got fired," Yoo Joonghyuk said and Kim Dokja's mouth fell open in shock before he
buried his face in his hand.
"It doesn't matter," said Kim Dokja. "It literally doesn't matter."
"You don't get to decide that—"
"No, no, I get to decide that. I am the only one who gets to decide that," Kim Dokja argued. "I said
it's fine. It does not matter at all. If that's your reason, then—"
"I said I would take responsibility," Yoo Joonghyuk said. Kim Dokja wasn't the only one who
could speak over someone else.
"It's not your fault, I told you, you have nothing to take responsibility for."
"You can't even move your fingers," Yoo Joonghyuk pointed out. "You can't make your food, you
can't eat it, you won't be able to do a lot of things."
"Not important!" Kim Dokja said hurrying into the room, so that he wouldn't have to yell and end
up waking up the kids. Both Han Sooyoung and Yoo Joonghyuk let out scoffs at his statement.
"No, really," Kim Dokja sighed, now within grabbable distance, and also punchable distance. If it
hadn't been for that white cast on his hand, Yoo Joonghyuk might have seriously considered
punching him, like he always did when Kim Dokja opened his mouth.
"Yoo Joonghyuk, go home. You have nothing to worry about."
"That's not for you to decide," Yoo Joonghyuk told him firmly. "I am not doing this for you, Kim
Dokja. I don't care about you."
"You've got to be kidding me," Han Sooyoung muttered darkly, but she was ignored by the two
men who were busy glaring at each other.
"I am doing this for my peace of mind. Once you are healed, we will do as you said, pretend to be
strangers."
"Oh, my god!" Han Sooyoung cried loudly. "I can't—I fucking can't. Yoo Joonghyuk, get out."
Yoo Joonghyuk scowled at her and stood his ground.
"Just move, you bastard," Han Sooyoung hissed stomping away. "Are we getting your shitty car or
not?"
At that Yoo Joonghyuk relented and followed Han Sooyoung out of the room, leaving Kim Dokja
standing there, stunned, a little too late to try and stop them.
Chapter End Notes
Where's this story even going? What am I doing?

Chapter 33
Han Sooyoung threw herself into the passenger's seat and closed the door.
"Seatbelt," Yoo Joonghyuk had to remind her.
"Fuck you," she responded but clicked her seatbelt into place anyway. "And why's that thing
closed?" she nodded at the roof of the car.
It could open, Yoo Joonghyuk deduced. All those buttons suddenly made sense, and the reason
why the kids had unanimously picked this car made sense too.
Han Sooyoung clicked her tongue at Yoo Joonghyuk's lack of response as he drove off to the
school. It was a good thing he didn't usually use the school parking inside, that would have ended
up with his car getting locked inside.
The roads weren't as busy as the last time Yoo Joonghyuk had been driving this car, but there were
still a considerable amount of vehicles on the road.
"I don't like what you're planning," Han Sooyoung said breaking the silence that Yoo Joonghyuk
was starting to enjoy. She clicked something and a compartment fell open above her knees.
Yoo Joonghyuk noticed that it held a black folder, probably containing all the legal documents for
the car. Two boxes of brand name sunglasses sat over the folder, and a little container with candy.
Han Sooyoung was interested in the candy. Yoo Joonghyuk wasn't sure what he would do if she
suddenly decided she wanted to wear sunglasses at night. He might have just kicked her out of the
moving car.
She grumbled a bit, ripped open the wrapper of a bright yellow lollipop and popped it into her
mouth.
"I don't like you either," she said, opening her mouth. "I don't like you being around Kim Dokja.
You are an asshole and I do not want you around him."
"Are you his girlfriend?" Yoo Joonghyuk scoffed. "Mind your own business, witch."
"You haven't moved on from him, have you?" Han Sooyoung said scathingly. It was probably
because Yoo Joonghyuk had been a bit too rude. But Han Sooyoung did not have a say in what he
did with his life.
"I am not interested in Kim Dokja anymore," Yoo Joonghyuk told her. He did not want that
misunderstanding to spread any more than it already had. The kids seemed to think so, and so did
Kim Namwoon and Lee Jihye. Even Lee Hyunsung had heard of it and Yoo Joonghyuk expected
Jung Heewon did too.
Much to his annoyance, Han Sooyoung laughed.
"I wish I'd taken a photo of your face that night," she said when she was finally done cackling.
"When Kim Dokja showed Biyoo's pics. Not interested, my ass."
Yoo Joonghyuk thought that if he gripped the steering wheel any harder, he might just rip it off the
car by accident.
Han Sooyoung sighed heavily and put the lollipop back into her mouth.
"I really don't want you around to stress that guy out more than he already is," she said and Yoo
Joonghyuk considered throwing her out of the window for the sixth time.
What about him then? Kim Dokja stressed the fuck out of him too. . .Alright, maybe Kim Dokja
already had a lot on his plate, but it still didn't mean that Yoo Joonghyuk wasn't suffering at all.
"You say you aren't interested," Han Sooyoung drawled, resting her head on the window and
looking outside. "But you act otherwise."
"I do not act—"
"Please, everyone's heard of you crushing on him," Han Sooyoung snapped. "The kids are even
pushing your wedding."
Yoo Joonghyuk gnashed his teeth together and glared harder at the road. He was. Past tense.
After finding out that it was Kim Dokja, all the feelings of interest he had for Mr Kim vanished. He
didn't care about that man anymore.
"You wouldn't have decided to stay if you weren't interested," Han Sooyoung said, throwing him a
smirk before going back to staring at the boring city scenery outside.
"I am taking responsibility," Yoo Joonghyuk said coldly. "Nothing more, nothing less."
"Keep telling yourself that," Han Sooyoung scoffed.
She closed her eyes and let out a pained sigh.
"I'll let you stay on one condition—"
"I don't need your permission."
Han Sooyoung ignored him and continued on as though he had never spoken to interrupt her. "Just
make sure that idiot is taking care of himself."
"You are dating?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked, a bit more seriously this time.
Han Sooyoung threw him a disgusted scowl.
"I get that you've never had a best friend in your life, but seriously, have some more sense, yeah?"
she said sharply. "You just don't know Kim Dokja as well as I do. Accept it."
Yoo Joonghyuk did have a best friend once. He had someone he had considered his best friend, the
only friend he had back then. He had trusted the man with his whole life, with Mia's life. It was
lucky that he had just broken his heart and not screwed their lives over.
"Make sure he eats on time," Han Sooyoung went back to what she considered more important.
"Sometimes that jerk eats only one meal a day, that too because he's forced to eat because of the
kids."
The mealtime rule made sense. They all wait for Kim Dokja to arrive before they start eating
because he was only showing up so that the others would eat. If they started without him, he would
give some shitty excuse about not wanting to disturb, or not being hungry or some nonsense and
stay holed up somewhere. Nice strategy, actually, forcing that rat into a corner so that he acts as
they wanted. Very clever.
"Watch over him. He will not ask for help and he will jump into trouble the second he sees it," she
said sternly. "That idiot has no sense of self-preservation and will not hesitate to run into a burning
building a second time if that's what he thought he had to do."
"...a second time?"
Yoo Joonghyuk took his eyes off the road to stare at Han Sooyoung for a good three seconds. She
looked very disgruntled, not a hint of mirth or amusement could be seen on her face.
"Kim Dokja ran into a burning building?"
Han Sooyoung frowned and pinched the bridge of her nose, giving a small nod.
"That's how he got Donghoon. The idiot just ran into a building on fire to get the kid out," she
complained. "And he didn't even know the kid back then. He just saw it and went in. Dumbass. .
.He will still go pulling stunts like this, only this time he's injured and might just actually get
himself killed."
Yoo Joonghyuk thought it would be better if Kim Dokja stayed inside at all times. Who the fuck
even runs into a building that was on fire? Did he think he was a superhero or something? The
proper procedure was to call the fire station and call for help. He could have died!
He remembered the reaction Jung Heewon and Han Sooyoung had had on that dinner night. Their
anger and frustration were very justified, he realised.
"I know I'm not one to say this, but try to cut down his coffee intake. It even concerns me," Han
Sooyoung muttered. "Just make sure that he doesn't start hiding himself too much."
What was that even supposed to mean?
"Right," Han Sooyoung sighed, as though she had noticed his confusion. "You wouldn't know.
Kim Dokja has these episodes sometimes, he'll just sort of vanish."
"What?"
"He'll go all quiet and not leave his office. Sometimes he'll leave without any explanation," Han
Sooyoung continued. "If you are there, you can just hold him down. Knock him out and lock him
up somewhere. He doesn't listen to anyone."
"Why would he listen to me?" Yoo Joonghyuk said. If he didn't listen to Han Sooyoung, the one
person who had express permission to just barge into Kim Dokja's out-of-bounds office that even
Kim Namwoon, resident ex-delinquent stayed out of, how the fuck was Yoo Joonghyuk supposed
to make him listen to him?
"Drag him out if he doesn't listen," Han Sooyoung scoffed.
"No one is allowed into his office."
"Yeah, just text him beforehand," Han Sooyoung said. "He's got two phones. When he's working in
there his personal use one's put on Do-Not-Disturb. Just text him on his other number, and he'll
respond."
Yoo Joonghyuk didn't even have a single number. How was he supposed to know that the bastard
had two different contact numbers?
"The kids don't have it?"
"Nah," Han Sooyoung said. "Not a lot of people have his other number."
"Why do you have it?" he couldn't help but ask. Even the kids did not have it. Why Han
Sooyoung?
"I guilt-tripped him into giving it to me," Han Sooyoung said proudly.
Yoo Joonghyuk should be appalled at how she spoke about it like some great accomplishment, but
that was probably the only way anyone would get anything out of Kim Dokja, so he thought it was
reasonable.
"What does he do?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked again. "Give me a profession. A name."
"The best you're going to get is businessman, dude," Han Sooyoung sighed.
"CEO?"
"Hah! That guy? No," Han Sooyoung shook her head, grinning. "He just goes around doing weird
shit. It's best to ask him to explain it to you."
Seriously! Why was there not a single person who could tell him what the fuck Kim Dokja actually
did?
"Is it illegal?" he asked his greatest worry.
"Not exactly," Han Sooyoung said and did not elaborate.
What the fuck was 'not exactly' supposed to mean? He was involved in some illegal shit then? And
why was everyone just fine with it? Did they even know? Probably not, Kim Dokja wouldn't tell
them. If the bastard puts the kids and Mia in any kind of danger, he is going to kill the rat himself.
They got Yoo Joonghyuk's car and he shifted, throwing the keys to Kim Dokja's sweet ride to Han
Sooyoung.
Han Sooyoung really was a horrible driver. She could barely stay in one lane and kept speeding,
then screeching into horribly rushed breaks, forgetting to turn on the indicator when she turned.
It was incredibly stressful just watching her drive through his rearview mirrors, following him.
When they somehow reached Kim Dokja's place without damaging either vehicle, Yoo Joonghyuk
considered it the miracle of the century.
Han Sooyoung was surprisingly good at parallel parking. He was absolutely sure that she wouldn't
make it, but she did, neatly sliding the car in and managing to get out without scratching the doors.
Did all her driving talent go into just reverse, and park? She was a mess at everything else. Jung
Heewon hadn't been exaggerating when she kept complaining about Han Sooyoung's horrible
driving skills. How the hell did she even get her licence?
Kim Dokja wished he had never returned to Seoul. He wished he had still been elsewhere, roaming
around, moving from one place to another. He did not like the role he was made to play in this
story at all. He didn't like how his role had not ended yet. There was a reason why sequels fell
short when compared to the original. It was just unnecessary to drag him into a season two, reusing
the antagonist. He thought the original ending worked just fine, this was stressful.
Yoo Joonghyuk said he wished that he had never met him.
He couldn't blame him, though. Life would have been a lot easier for him had he not met Kim
Dokja. . .That was Kim Dokja's fault really. He was the one who decided to check out the
apartment just because of the name 'Yoo Joonghyuk'. He had made the mistake then, and kept
making more.
Maybe his role would end after these two months. He hated having to play the antagonist in Yoo
Joonghyuk's story. He'd much rather be a nameless extra instead.
"I am not made to fix your messes, Kim Dokja," Bihyung's voice said through the phone he had put
on the kitchen counter. Kim Dokja let out a quiet sigh. He was making himself some coffee and he
couldn't hold a phone to his ear and make a cup at the same time, so the phone was put on speaker.
"I've never asked you to fix my messes," Kim Dokja said dryly. "I am just asking you to get my
things for me."
"You have things all over the place, you prick."
"Just do as you're told," Kim Dokja said. He poured the hot water into his cup from the kettle,
debating with himself on whether he had to take a painkiller for his headache or not.
What a day, it had been.
What. A. Day.
"Yo!" he heard as he moved to take a spoon and stir his drink.
They were back. Kim Dokja nodded at Han Sooyoung's tiny figure shadowed by Yoo Joonghyuk
and pointed at his phone. They got the message and were reasonably quiet as Yoo Joonghyuk
lugged a duffle bag into the kitchen.
"When will you be here?" Kim Dokja asked. He frowned when Yoo Joonghyuk hoisted the bag
and dumped it onto the counter with a rather loud thunk and Han Sooyoung let out a sardonic
laugh.
"Is everything alright over there?" Bihyung asked.
"Yes," Kim Dokja said. "So, when are you getting here?"
"Give me some time," Bihyung groaned. "Are you going to get an assistant to help you out? You
can't do everything on your own now."
"I don't need assistants," Kim Dokja said resolutely.
"Yes, but you need two hands," Han Sooyoung huffed. "Which you don't have now. Get that
Hayoung girl, she's a Guwon fan, no?"
"Good idea, really," said Bihyung. "You trust her too, don't you?"
"It's not efficient," Kim Dokja told them exasperatedly. "There is a lot I will be forced to explain,
and I am already cramped for time as it is."
"Whose fault is that?" Han Sooyoung scoffed. "The second something happens you go grab up all
the work you can see and hoard them like some workaholic gremlin."
"Did you crash my car?" Kim Dokja said, changing the subject.
"No, but I wish I did," Han Sooyoung snapped back.
"Stop being so paranoid, Kim Dokja!" Bihyung said. "You don't have me there either."
"I don't have you here often, what are you talking about?" Kim Dokja rolled his eyes. He could feel
Yoo Joonghyuk's gaze on him, but he ignored it.
"Get a temporary assistant."
"No."
"You son of a —"
"Just do what I've asked you to, leave the rest to me," Kim Dokja said. "Send me your flight
details, as well."
"Am I going to get reimbursed?" Bihyung said, slightly hopeful.
"Why on earth would I get you a reimbursement?" Kim Dokja said blithely. "It's all going out of
your own pocket."
Bihyung swore a bit, grumbling about how he shouldn't have joined hands with a sneaky bastard
like Kim Dokja. Then told him that he would have the urgent matters forwarded to him.
"I can always use the digital signature," Kim Dokja muttered, more to himself.
"Ah, try to delay any documents I might have to sign," Kim Dokja reminded Bihyung. "The digital
kind is fine, for the unimportant things. The rest, hold it back."
"Argh, you keep overworking me!" Bihyung complained. "I'm going to file a complaint against
you."
"You do that," Kim Dokja said nonchalantly, going to fetch some ice cubes for his coffee.
"I'd have done better making a deal with the devil," Bihyung grumbled. "What have I even gotten
myself into? You're a fucking demon, you are!"
Han Sooyoung laughed loudly.
"So I've heard," Kim Dokja sighed. "I expect things on time, you get it?"
"Yeah, yeah, whatever."
When the call ended, Han Sooyoung was still sniggering.
"So, demon king, what's up?"
"Can you not?" Kim Dokja said, disgusted. "I'm really not in the mood."
"Get an assistant, man," said Han Sooyoung, pulling herself up and sitting on the kitchen counter.
Yoo Joonghyuk looked like he wanted to shove her off, but was holding it in.
"Jang Hayoung actually does well. You said it yourself. You never acknowledge people."
"What nonsense are you saying?" Kim Dokja said, indignant. "I give credit where credit's due."
"Yeah, but you consider Jang Hayoung to be pretty great and useful," drawled Han Sooyoung.
"You told me yourself."
"I know what I said," Kim Dokja muttered. "And I meant what I said. But I am not calling her all
the way to Seoul for a few months," he shook his head, watching the ice melt into his dark coffee.
"She would love it if you did," said Han Sooyoung. "She'd be over the moon because she gets to
see her Guwon-nim."
"What's that got to do with me?" Kim Dokja sighed. "It's just not worth it. She's already got work to
do elsewhere."
"Did you talk to Aileen yet?" Han Sooyoung reminded him and Kim Dokja grimaced.
"Go on," Han Sooyoung said testily as Kim Dokja reached for his phone again. "She'll be up at this
time anyway."
Kim Dokja took a sip of his coffee and then found a contact number from the list and pressed call.
"Should've sent a message first," he muttered as the line rang.
"She was probably waiting for you to call since you first told her," said Han Sooyoung. "...You did
tell her, didn't you?"
Kim Dokja's silence only aggravated her.
"Why are you like this, really?" Han Sooyoung said, the ringtone in the background. Kim Dokja
did not find her question worthy of an answer so sipped his coffee.
"Hello!"
"Hello, Aileen, good evening,"
"Dokja Kim! Why am I hearing things from your parents instead of you?"
Yoo Joonghyuk was sure that had he been the one to hurt his hand, there wouldn't be so many
people giving similar reactions. But that would be because he would have taken care of himself
properly, and he didn't have a lot of friends in the first place. Just Lee Hyunsung and Lee Seolhwa,
he didn't consider Kim Namwoon and Lee Jihye his friends, they were kids he was forcibly put to
take care of and ended up caring for more than he would have liked.
"I was just busy, Aileen, I was planning on calling you as soon as possible," Kim Dokja tried
placating the woman on the other end of the line. Han Sooyoung was not helping.
"Bullshit," she had scoffed and the woman heard her.
"Sooyoung, maybe we should just tie him up one day," Aileen said threateningly. "Feed him some
sleeping pills and lock him up."
"That'll probably be one good night's sleep," Kim Dokja joked. No one found it all that funny.
"What happened?" Aileen finally asked. "I want to hear it from you."
"Nothing too bad," said Kim Dokja airily. "I just have a few broken bones in my hand. I went to the
hospital to get it treated. And I've got a list of meds I'm supposed to take, I'll just send it to you so
you can cross-check."
Kim Dokja put his coffee down, and leaned on the counter, using his left hand to scroll through his
gallery to find a picture.
"Are you satisfied with the treatment you've got at the hospital?" Aileen asked.
"Yeah, there was no issue," said Kim Dokja. "And I've sent it to you. Tell me if you received it."
A few seconds of silence, followed by, "I did. I'll get to it immediately. I will still be calling Dr.
Park because your words can be unreliable sometimes. And you better go visit him, Dokja."
"Alright, alright, I will do that," Kim Dokja chuckled. How was he unreliable? He thought he was a
very reliable and responsible person.
Maybe Han Sooyoung's words had some meaning, a reliable person wouldn't do something so
stupid like this. He stared at his pitiful right hand. He couldn't even move his fingers, Yoo
Joonghyuk was right. He had tried, but even moving the fingertips sent stabbing pain through the
rest of his hand, so he was forced to keep it still.
Why did he do that, really?
Maybe he wasn't really thinking. The first time, he had caught it. The second time, he thought he
had, but he didn't and his immediate thought process was to make a cushioning. The only
cushioning he could come up with in that tiny timeframe was his own hand.
Bit stupid, really, now that he thought about it. And he should've gone for his left hand instead, it
was incredibly difficult not being able to use his dominant hand. He wasn't ambidextrous either. He
wished he was though, that would have made things so much easier.
"Do you mind sending me the report?" Aileen said. "And the X-ray as well."
"I can do that," Kim Dokja muttered. "Is it alright if I send it to you in a bit?"
"Yes...I will know if you put off meeting Dr Park," Aileen warned him. "And I'll fly there myself
if you try something ridiculous again."
"I've never done anything ridiculous," Kim Dokja said defensively. He usually was a very
reasonable person who didn't like getting hurt or dying, why did people think he did?
"I'm going to hit you," Han Sooyoung snarled.

"Should I send Aslan?" Aileen asked slowly.
"That's what I said," Han Sooyoung piped up.
"She would like it, I think," Aileen agreed. "Getting a chance to work with Salvation—"
"It's alright," Kim Dokja said loudly. "It's not required. If things get out of hand and I require help,
I'll let Jang Hayoung know."
"You have to!"
Kim Dokja jumped slightly at the new voice that issued from the phone on the kitchen counter.
Yoo Joonghyuk couldn't tell if the voice was male or female just by listening to it, but he supposed
it was a woman speaking.
"You can't forget me this time," the woman was saying.
"Were you there all this time?" Kim Dokja said, wearily. "And did you just keep quiet?"
"I was letting you talk," the woman said, Jang Hayoung or Aslan said. Were they the same person?
Some Koreans did have an English name, so Aslan might be Jang Hayoung's other name.
"You might need help, I think I should go there," Jang Hayoung sounded so happy at the
opportunity that she didn't even pretend to be worried about Kim Dokja's injury.
"You will need an assistant."
"You can do better than be my assistant," Kim Dokja said and the woman on the other end went
silent. Han Sooyoung let out a soft sigh of exasperation.
The silence lasted for a good fifteen seconds and then Aileen spoke, "She just left. . .I think she's
going to find the first flight to South Korea."
"But I didn't ask her to?" Kim Dokja blurted out, confused.
How dense could a person possibly be? Yoo Joonghyuk wondered if Kim Dokja had always been
this way. Was he actually not aware of the things that came out of his mouth?
"Please try to convince her to stay there," Kim Dokja said quickly. "I promise to call her when I
need her."
"I will try," Aileen sighed. "But you know how Aslan is...You must keep your word."
"I don't make promises lightly."
When the call ended, Kim Dokja closed his eyes wearily.
"Yoo Joonghyuk," he said getting the man's attention. "I still think this is a ridiculous idea."
Yoo Joonghyuk who had stopped unpacking the items from the bag, went back to it. He was taking
out the things that would go in the kitchen, like Mia's lunch box, her favourite mug and water
bottle.
"You can't stream here. Transferring your whole set-up here is going to take way too long and it
makes no sense to just do it for a couple of months. It makes no sense to drive for an hour just to
go home and then come back either."
"I don't need to stream," Yoo Joonghyuk told him, arranging Mia's boxes neatly, one on top of the
other. He opened the cupboards he was now familiar with after cooking two meals in the kitchen,
and put the boxes in the section for guests.
"What? Why not?" Kim Dokja said, almost sounding distressed. Was he really a fan? He was under
the impression that Kim Dokja had been lying back then. Yoo Joonghyuk wasn't sure how to feel
about this.
"A break for personal reasons," Yoo Joonghyuk said and Kim Dokja stifled a groan with a hand.
"Are you serious?"
Yoo Joonghyuk didn't think of this as a serious issue, it was inconveniencing, sure, but not a huge
deal. He was planning on quitting streaming soon anyway. He was getting too old for that, and he
was also thinking of stepping down as a pro gamer. The competitions had lost their allure a long
time ago. The company did ask him to try considering coaching a team, but he wasn't very keen on
doing that.
As of now, he didn't have a lot to do. He just had to go to the company office on a few specific
days and the rest could be spent at home.
He didn't tell Kim Dokja any of this because he was being petty. Let that guy know what it feels
like to be on the receiving end as well.
"Just let him be," Han Sooyoung said, taking Yoo Joonghyuk's side for a change.
"What?"
"I spoke to him on the way," she said lazily. "It should be fine. You are busy as is, you won't have
much time to think about it anyway, will you?"
"Han Sooyoung, you really—"
"Dude, it's not that big of a deal," Han Sooyoung pressed on. "At least you'll get good food."
She slid off the kitchen counter and stretched.
"If you give this bastard my usual room, I'll kill you," she said blandly.
"Why would I even do that?" Kim Dokja said.
"Good," she said, satisfied. "I'm going to sleep then."
"This early?"
"I've had a shitty day today, Kim Dokja," Han Sooyoung said walking out of the kitchen. "I didn't
get any sleep yesterday either, I'm tired. I'm going to sleep."
"Okay," Kim Dokja said softly. "Good night."
"Night," they heard Han Sooyoung even though she had vanished around the corner.
Kim Dokja looked at Yoo Joonghyuk, shifting his foot, awkwardly. Then he picked up his coffee
mug and put it to his lips, focusing on drinking. Yoo Joonghyuk turned back to putting up the
things in the kitchen.
"Mia went to sleep in Yoosung's room with the other two," Kim Dokja said finally when Yoo
Joonghyuk closed the overhead cupboard door. "I don't think she brushed her teeth, but it should be
fine, missing one night."
"I've tucked them in, you can check if you want. . .I've cleaned a room for you as well. Let me
know if you need anything."
"You cleaned the room?" Yoo Joonghyuk said testily, looking at Kim Dokja's indisposed hand.
"It was clean in general," Kim Dokja said quickly, exchanging the mug in his hand for his phone.
"It's always kept clean for guests. I just had to change the sheets."
"You changed the sheets on your own?"
"It wasn't that hard," Kim Dokja turned his back on Yoo Joonghyuk. "If you're done here, come
with me."
Yoo Joonghyuk wanted to say no just out of spite, but he was done with the kitchen and there was
no logical reason for him to stay there. He decided to be mature and reasonable and followed Kim
Dokja further into the house, where they took the stairs to the first landing.
Kim Dokja's house really did have a lot of rooms. He supposed it made sense if Kim Dokja was
going around picking up helpless people and bringing them in.
They stopped in front of a door decorated with stickers and the plaque that hung on it had the name
SHIN YOOSUNG etched into it. Kim Dokja opened the door softly and let him see inside.
Yoo Joonghyuk didn't know if he should feel indignant or not. Did Kim Dokja really think that he
didn't trust him with Mia? He trusted him with his sister, and that was the issue. Kim Dokja kept
deceiving them. . .But he supposed it wasn't something that could be said anyway.
Mia was sleeping between Yoosung and Gilyoung, all in a tangle of limbs, hugging each other, the
blanket that was put over them kicked away. Kim Dokja sighed and walked in quietly, before
pulling the blanket over the kids.
He had barely turned around and walked out when someone shuffled and kicked it off and the
blanket was on the floor again. Kim Dokja gave up and left the room, closing the door slowly.
"The kids usually use the bathroom over there," he said pointing down the corridor to a door that
seemed smaller than the other doors. It did not have any decorations or markers on it as the other
rooms did.
"Kim Namwoon and Han Donghoon have another one there," he pointed in the opposite direction.
"You can ask the kids to show you around if you want. I think I'll be a bit busy to actually do that
myself."
He turned around and went downstairs again, Yoo Joonghyuk followed him with a frown on his
face.
Even the ground floor had a lot of rooms, not as many as the first floor, but when compared to Yoo
Joonghyuk's flat, it was a lot. It seemed reasonable considering how many people actually lived
there.
He waved a hand at a door that was nestled comfortably between two walls at the end of the
corridor.
"That's the one Han Sooyoung's reserved. She says it gives her inspiration or something," Kim
Dokja explained. "That one's a bathroom. You can use that one if you want. Or any others, really."
They walked past Kim Dokja's office, Yoo Joonghyuk only knew which one it was because he had
eavesdropped on Han Sooyoung and Kim Dokja before. Kim Dokja left two other doors introduced
and then finally, opened one.
"Let me know if you need anything," he said, leaving the door open for Yoo Joonghyuk.
"You have OCD," Yoo Joonghyuk said noting the very neat bedroom, the pillows kept at the same
angle, the duvet folded up perfectly. Kim Dokja really was particular about these things.
"I don't?" Kim Dokja said, puzzled. He was finally looking at Yoo Joonghyuk now. "Kim
Namwoon's just going around talking nonsense. Don't listen to him."
"I have conditions of my own," Yoo Joonghyuk said ignoring Kim Dokja's comments.
"I will enter your office when I want, your rules don't apply to me."
Kim Dokja blinked up at him.
"Hey, you can't just barge in!"
"I'm not shameless like you," Yoo Joonghyuk scoffed. "I will send a message beforehand."
Kim Dokja's mouth fell open in indignance, but before he could go into a rant, Yoo Joonghyuk put
forward his other conditions.
"The kitchen is mine, don't bother me there."
". . .Hah?"
"I'm driving the kids to school and back, give me the keys. And the passcode to the front door."
Kim Dokja was silent for a few seconds, then he said, "Get out."
"No," Yoo Joonghyuk said and walked into the room he was going to be staying in for the next few
months. It really was clean, not a single speck of dust. Did Kim Dokja actually go around cleaning
the room before they arrived? Was it a bit of an impromptu decision to spring up on him?
Well, obviously it was. He was self-aware. . .But Kim Dokja deserved some punishment too.
"Give me your phone," Yoo Joonghyuk said looking for a place to keep his luggage once he
brought it in from the living room.
"What now?"
"Contact number. Give me your phone."
"No," Kim Dokja said turning around and closing the door behind him. Before Yoo Joonghyuk
could march out and grab him, he felt his phone in his jeans pocket vibrate.
Of course, Kim Dokja had his fucking number. Of course, he did.
He glared at the message from the unknown number reading 'Don't order me around you sunfish
bastard'.
Yoo Joonghyuk stormed towards the door and pulled it open, but Kim Dokja was nowhere to be
seen.
Sleazy rat bastard.
Yoo Joonghyuk went to bed cursing Kim Dokja in his mind, ripping him apart limb from limb,
throwing him around and beating him up for all the shit he had been put through because of that
rat.
The bed was strangely comfortable for an unfamiliar bed. Yoo Joonghyuk had a pretty good bed
back home, but this one just seemed better. He couldn't tell why, or what the difference was, it was
just comfortable.
Probably because it cost more. Fucking rich people.
Yoo Joonghyuk woke up to his usual alarm the next morning. He rolled over, grabbed his phone
and shut off the ringing noise which was familiar, but no less annoying.
The room was dark. It was unfamiliar.
Ah, fuck.
Right, he made a very important decision last night. He might have started to regret it a little bit.
He had not thought this through.
Han Sooyoung's words last night came back to him and he wanted to punch himself in the face.
He started his day by reassuring himself that he was doing this to take responsibility for his actions
and regain his peace of mind, and not because he was interested in Kim Dokja. The only feeling he
held for that man was hate. Nothing else.
And as he had said yesterday, this was just until Kim Dokja was healed and then they would go
their different ways, never to interact with each other until absolutely necessary.
Chapter 34
Kim Dokja was awake and sitting in the living room when Yoo Joonghyuk finished freshening up
and was going to prepare breakfast for the occupants of the house.
Kim Dokja only looked up when he heard footsteps and went back to his work when he saw that it
was just Yoo Joonghyuk on his way to the kitchen. Yoo Joonghyuk didn't do anything about it
either.
He wasn't used to making such large portions for breakfast. Or lunch or dinner, for that matter. It
had only ever been him and Mia, and occasionally Lee Seolhwa and another third person he did not
want to acknowledge.
Maybe barging into the house and declaring that he was going to stay there for a while was a bit
too much.
No, no, he was not rooming with Kim Dokja anymore. There were way too many people in the
house for it to be that. He was here just to assist Kim Dokja with issues that concerned the house
and its members because Kim Dokja was incapable of taking care of it himself.
As they were leaving Yoo Joonghyuk's house after he had packed the necessities last night, Han
Sooyoung had said, "You know you are digging your own grave right now, don't you?"
Yoo Joonghyuk had ignored her.
Of course, she was wrong. What did Han Sooyoung know? He was not going to be a naive dolt this
time. He hated Kim Dokja way too much to fall for him again.
An hour and a half later, when Yoo Joonghyuk decided it was time to wake Mia and the kids up,
he saw Kim Dokja still sitting in the same position in the living room. He had his laptop on his
knees, his injured right hand resting on the arm of the sofa, and his left hand on the laptop screen,
scrolling. A touchscreen laptop, nice. At least he didn't have to struggle through that.
Yoo Joonghyuk was not going to help him with that even if he did struggle.
Mia woke up and went into a little frenzy, because "Oppa, why did you wake me up so late? Now
I'll be late to school. We can't go back home and get ready."
Yoo Joonghyuk reassured her that everything was fine and told her about his plan.
"You're getting married?" Yoosung who had been rubbing her eyes sleepily said, all her drowsiness
vanishing.
"No," Yoo Joonghyuk said along with Lee Gilyoung who was already marching out of the room.
"Just until Kim Dokja can do things on his own again," Yoo Joonghyuk stressed.
"What about my uniform?" Mia said sliding out of the bed. "And my brush? My toothpaste."
Yoo Joonghyuk told her that he had brought everything they needed from their house last night and
that it was all in the bathroom.
"Where's your room, Oppa?" Mia asked. "Downstairs?"
"The guest bedroom?" Yoosung muttered, stifling a yawn and stretching. Yoo Joonghyuk supposed
it was so he nodded.
"Should I wake Biyoo up?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked the kids. He was going to talk to Kim Dokja
only if it was necessary.
"Not yet," Yoosung said squinting at the clock. "We woke up early today."
"When do you usually wake up?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked.
"Six thirty," Yoosung said.
Did they get ready that quickly for school? It seemed that Yoosung and Gilyoung didn't take as
much time to get ready as Mia did.
By seven, the house was bustling with noise.
Kim Dokja had another coffee and was still on the sofa.
The kids had a little shouting match, mainly Yoosung and Gilyoung about hogging the bathroom
and putting their toothbrushes in a weird way and other nonsensical things.
Han Donghoon sent everyone a good morning text to let them know that he was up.
Kim Namwoon ran downstairs, his uniform haphazardly on, his bag hanging from his shoulder. He
rushed into the kitchen, looked around at the breakfast for the day, and groaned in displeasure
because he was late and didn't have time to sit down and eat Yoo Joonghyuk's delicious cooking.
He pulled open a cupboard Yoo Joonghyuk now knew contained snacks and much to his
indignance, Kim Namwoon grabbed a few snacks. He stuffed them into his bag, holding one in his
hand and ripping the package open with his teeth as his other hand struggled to close his bag.
"I'm leaving," he told the kitchen and rushed out.
"He's always like that," Gilyoung said, pulling his bowl of rice towards him. "He sleeps late, wakes
up late and has to run to get the bus."
"Don't forget to buy and eat something at the station," they heard Kim Dokja's voice call after Kim
Namwoon.
"Can you get off my back for once?" Kim Namwoon barked, hopping around, trying to get his
shoes on. "I'm late already. Can do without your nagging for once."
"I'm sorry if I don't want you to grow up malnourished and catch a bad habit like me!" Kim Dokja
snapped back.
"For fuck's sake, man!" Kim Namwoon yelled in exasperation. "I'll buy a stupid sandwich, okay?!"
"Swear around in my house like that again, and I'm cleaning the windows with your special
Gundam microfiber cloth," Kim Dokja threatened.
"You're such a hypocrite!" Kim Namwoon called Kim Dokja a lot more things and was finally out
of the door, the noise in the house going down a few levels once he was gone.
The kids found this a daily occurrence, ignored the entire exchange and were talking to each other
over breakfast. For people who were going to school, having been threatened with disciplinary
action just yesterday, they were way too happy. It was probably the prospect of them living
together for a while now.
Kim Dokja finally got up, peeked his head into the kitchen and smiled at the kids.
"Good morning," he said and they chimed back with the same greeting.
"Did Han Donghoon have his food already?" he asked.
"No, I didn't see him yet," Gilyoung shook his head.
"Ahjussi," Mia called. "Oppa says we're staying here."
"Really?" Yoosung added, very hopeful.
Yoo Joonghyuk didn't think he would ever get used to the kids looking for Kim Dokja's answer
before trusting his own.
"Yes," Kim Dokja sighed. "Yoo Joonghyuk here seems to think it is necessary for some reason."
Yoo Joonghyuk did not rise to the bait.
"Is the food delicious?" Kim Dokja said and he was met with eager nods from the kids at the table.
"That's good then," the man smiled and Yoo Joonghyuk was still waiting for him to take a seat at
the table.
"Yoo Joonghyuk will take you to school today," Kim Dokja said. "Since I can't drive. And I have a
few calls to make this morning, so I won't be able to come, is that okay?"
Gilyoung and Yoosung's expression dimmed a little, but they nodded anyway.
"Ah, and don't forget to leave your phones here," Kim Dokja reminded them and the kids flinched
slightly, avoiding his gaze guiltily because they had been hoping they would get away with it.
And Kim Dokja left.
Yoo Joonghyuk did not see Kim Dokja even as the kids left the house and got into the car, his own
black one this time, and he drove them to school.
When he returned, Han Sooyoung was sitting at the dining table, all slouched up, her hair a
touseled mess, eating a portion of breakfast Yoo Joonghyuk had actually forgotten to make for
her.
"Morning," she said lazily, her mouth half full.
"Where is Kim Dokja?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked because Han Sooyoung was, at the moment, eating
the portion he had left for that man. Wasn't she the one who asked him yesterday to make sure that
Kim Dokja was eating properly? How was he supposed to do that if she ate all the food he had
made for him?
"Who knows?" Han Sooyoung said. "Somewhere in the house."
That was not a good enough answer, but Yoo Joonghyuk didn't stress about it too much. It wasn't
like he could leave the house anyway. He couldn't drive and he had seen the car in the garage. Kim
Dokja was probably in his office or in the bathroom or something, he did say he had a few calls to
make.
Yoo Joonghyuk took his phone out and texted Han Donghoon to see if he had eaten yet. He had
just been added to the group chat with all the members of the house.
He put his phone back when Han Donghoon texted him back and said that he had come downstairs
to eat while he was dropping the kids at school.
Kim Dokja finally turned up at quarter to nine and much to both Han Sooyoung and Yoo
Joonghyuk's indignation, he was carrying a full-dressed Biyoo, all ready for nursery.
So that's what he had been up to all this time.
"Hey, why didn't you call me for help?" Han Sooyoung snapped.
"It wasn't all that difficult," Kim Dokja waved her away. "And Biyoo is a big girl now, aren't you,
Biyoo?" he said grinning at his daughter.
"Yes!" Biyoo said brightly, smiling back.
If the situation wasn't as such, Yoo Joonghyuk would have found the scene very endearing.
Kim Dokja hooked his foot around Biyoos's chair's leg and pulled it out before lowering her into it.
Then he went off to pack her snack and lunch boxes for the day.
And Yoo Joonghyuk was standing right there. He was standing right fucking there, Kim Dokja
didn't even spare him a glance or ask him to help him with anything as he went around the kitchen,
doing things with just one hand, the other one hanging limply at his side.
Han Sooyoung sighed softly.
"Hey, let me do it," she said, abandoning her food and going over to the kitchen.
"It's fine," said Kim Dokja. "Go finish eating."
"I'm done eating," Han Sooyoung lied and grabbed the water bottle out of Kim Dokja's hand,
shooing him away. "Go feed Biyoo."
Was he doing this on purpose? To make him feel worse? To make him feel useless? Is that what
this was about? Retaliation for forcing his way in?
Kim Dokja still didn't look at Yoo Joonghyuk as he walked past him into the dining room and
towards Biyoo.
Bastard. Fucking bastard.

To hell if Yoo Joonghyuk let him push him around.
He turned around, marched towards the father-daughter pair and grabbed the spoon out of Kim
Dokja's hand.
"Leave," he snarled at the man. He was looking at him now. Fine, if shock was the only thing that
he would respond to, then so be it. "I'll do it."
"You don't know what to do," Kim Dokja argued.
"I've taken care of Mia before," Yoo Joonghyuk scoffed. "Leave, do something else. I'll drop
Biyoo at her daycare as well."
"I'm coming with you," said Kim Dokja.
"No," Yoo Joonghyuk said. Let him have a taste of his own medicine. "You are not needed here.
Go."
He was looking at Biyoo, so he couldn't tell what stupid expression Kim Dokja was making, but
the man stood stock still right there for a few seconds, then walked away.
Kim Dokja was back again a few minutes later, all dressed up, again in a stupid suit.
He was giving Yoo Joonghyuk the silent treatment.
They sat in the car, Yoo Joonghyuk driving, Kim Dokja with Biyoo in the back seat, the girl on his
lap as he spoke softly to her, patting her head.
Yoo Joonghyuk was ignored on the drive back as well, even though Kim Dokja sat in the
passenger seat this time. Yoo Joonghyuk ignored him back. He had no reason to start a
conversation either.
They reached home, Kim Dokja locked himself up in his office and Yoo Joonghyuk went to his
room after cleaning the kitchen. He didn't have much to do either. He had already prepared lunch,
and it was in the kitchen.
He would just send a text to Kim Dokja in the afternoon, reminding him to eat lunch and they don't
have to talk to each other at all. It was perfect.
Yoo Joonghyuk decided to go to the gym. He was feeling restless, sitting in the house. The drive
was going to be much longer since the gym was in the other direction now. It doesn't matter, all the
more reason for him to get out of this house that was so large yet so stifling.
Han Sooyoung said she had only come to check on Kim Dokja and was gone before noon.
Yoo Joonghyuk had lunch with Han Donghoon. The boy sat in the living room, while Yoo
Joonghyuk finished his meal at the dining table. Han Donghoon finished eating first, sent a thank
you text to him and washed his plates before leaving upstairs.
Kim Dokja didn't turn up, but Yoo Joonghyuk had sent him a reminder so it didn't matter.
Kim Dokja was an asshole. He was a fucking asshole.
He hadn't even known that the man wasn't in the house until he walked in through the front door.
Yoo Joonghyuk was under the impression that he was inside because his car was still there, but no,
he had booked a ride and left.
The lunch he had made for him was left untouched and in his bitterness, Yoo Joonghyuk threw the
whole thing in the trash. Fine, don't eat then. Kim Dokja could starve for all he cared.
In the late afternoon, Yoo Joonghyuk watched Kim Dokja book a taxi in the living room, leave,
and return with Biyoo.
He was doing this on purpose. He was doing this out of pure spite, just to make Yoo Joonghyuk
feel like shit.
"Kim Dokja," Yoo Joonghyuk said, forcing himself to stay calm and not explode right then and
there. "What are you doing?"
"What do you mean?" Kim Dokja said, going down on one knee near the front door. He placed
Biyoo on his thigh, took off her shoes and socks, touched his forehead to hers with a little smile
and let her go into the house.
"Hi," she greeted Yoo Joonghyuk brightly.
"Hi," she said again when Yoo Joonghyuk didn't respond.
Yoo Joonghyuk opened his mouth which was strangely dry, and let out a strangled, "Hi."
Biyoo's grin widened.
Then she slapped his leg with her tiny hand a couple of times. "Don't frown."
She looked up at him resolutely until he smoothened out his expression, and then satisfied, she
waddled into the house. Kim Dokja took his own shoes off, put them in the shoe rack and then
went after Biyoo.
Yoo Joonghyuk opened his mouth because he thought that if he applied any more pressure, he
would crush his own teeth. The way his stomach was clenching and the pressure in his chest every
time Kim Dokja did something like this made him sick.
"I will pick the kids up," Yoo Joonghyuk said loudly.
"Alright," Kim Dokja's voice said and that was the end of the discussion.
Why was he acting like this? He wasn't this way yesterday. What happened now?
"Is Ahjussi home?" Yoosung asked when he drove them back home.
"He should be," Yoo Joonghyuk answered even though he didn't feel like talking.
"Why are you angry, Oppa?" Mia asked.
Yoo Joonghyuk did not want to lie, so he chose to keep quiet.
Was it because he was busy? Is that the reason? Because he was annoyed that he couldn't do his
work as efficiently as before? Yoo Joonghyuk didn't know what Kim Dokja was thinking.
Was this one of those episodes Han Sooyoung was talking about?
Yoo Joonghyuk couldn't be sure, because when they returned home, Kim Dokja chatted away with
the kids. He even stayed out of his office for a while, listening to them talk about school.
Only when Yoo Joonghyuk tried to talk to him did he leave again.
He even found time to bathe Biyoo, not asking for anyone's help again. He stood by Donghoon's
room, gave him the snacks he had prepared and spoke to him for a while. When Kim Namwoon
returned, they had a little banter as well, which ended with Kim Dokja ruffling Kim Namwoon's
hair with a fond look as he praised Namwoon's spike in grades in his new test.
It was so suffocating inside. Yoo Joonghyuk had to leave the house and stand outside just to be
able to breathe.
Was it something he did?
He hated how he became like this when it involved Kim Dokja.
Was it because he was being forceful? Was it something he said? Did he make something Kim
Dokja didn't like to eat? What was it? Why was he being like this? He had been fine yesterday, so
why now? Or was it all just some play he was putting on for Han Sooyoung and now that she was
gone, he was back to being an asshole?
He interacted with everyone else in the house, and everyone else tried engaging Yoo Joonghyuk as
well. Except for Kim Dokja, it was as though he was invisible in Kim Dokja's eyes.
Hardly a day and Yoo Joonghyuk wished he could just go back in time and do a re-run of this.
Kim Dokja was there for dinner.
Yoo Joonghyuk thought his cooking that day tasted like shit, the others thought it was just fine.
Kim Dokja was talking to the children the whole time, even feeding Biyoo and only remembering
to eat when Yoosung or Gilyoung reminded him.
"Mia-yah, come with me for a bit," Kim Dokja said once the dishwasher was running. "I'll show
you to your room."
"I get my own room?" Mia said excitedly and Kim Dokja nodded.
"You two go get your remaining homework," he told Yoosung and Gilyoung who withdrew
slightly at the mention of work. "I saw you leave maths behind on purpose. Go, go."
"I understand, kiddo," Kim Namwoon muttered, sharing the distaste for mathematics as he left for
his room.
Yoo Joonghyuk followed Kim Dokja and Mia, but neither said anything about his presence. Mia
had been expecting him to come along and Kim Dokja had been ignoring him since the morning.
"Can I decorate it like Yoosung and Gilyoung?" Mia asked when Kim Dokja showed her the room
he had arranged for her. When had he done that? Did he do all of that on his own again? Why
wouldn't he just ask Yoo Joonghyuk? He was there for that reason!
"If you want to," Kim Dokja told her.
"Mia-yah," Kim Dokja said taking her hand in his and squatting down so that he was slightly lower
than Mia, much to the surprise of both siblings.
"I was too busy to tell you yesterday," Kim Dokja said softly, smiling all the while. "But thank you
for being Yoosung and Gilyoung's friend. And thank you for sticking up for them."
Yoo Joonghyuk's mouth fell open. That was unexpected.
"You know, they didn't have a very nice life before, but they are really happy now that they have
you. Yoosung and Gilyoung started liking to go to school after they met you and I am really
thankful that you are their friend. It makes me so relieved that they have someone so nice by their
side."
Mia flushed with pride and had to struggle to stop herself from grinning widely at Kim Dokja's
words.
"I'm their friend because I like them," Mia said, looking very pleased. "You don't have to thank me
for that, Ahjussi."
Kim Dokja chuckled. "Can I thank you for making them happy then?"
"No," said Mia, her smile widening along with Kim Dokja's. "I'll make them happy because they
are my friends. You don't have to thank me for that either."
"Alright, then," Kim Dokja said. "But still, I want to give you something. A gift. What do you
want?"
Mia looked up at her brother and then thought for a while.
"Right now, I want nothing," she said. "I'll tell you when I want something."
"Okay, you have to tell me, alright?" said Kim Dokja, getting to his feet and straightening.
They left the room together, Mia talking about how she was going to discuss with her friends how
to decorate her room, especially since she hadn't brought a lot of things from her house here and
would have to make do with what she had.
The kids sat on the living room floor after dinner, Kim Dokja sat with them, watching and helping
them out as they did their homework.
Once the clock struck ten, he sent them all off to bed.
Yoo Joonghyuk watched him tuck each and every one of them into bed, bid them goodnight and
even read Biyoo a bedtime story, putting her to sleep. He followed Kim Dokja as he knocked
lightly on Han Donghoon's door and told him to not stay up too late and to go to bed. Then he
stopped by Kim Namwoon's room and asked him to stop spending so much time on his Gundams
and told him to catch up on all the sleep he had lost because he stayed up studying last night.
He went downstairs, Yoo Joonghyuk on his heels.
"Goodnight, then," Kim Dokja said opening the door to his office.
He wasn't looking at Yoo Joonghyuk even now, but he was at least speaking to him. Before Yoo
Joonghyuk could get himself to say something, Kim Dokja had gone into the room, closed the door
and he heard the lock click.
Yoo Joonghyuk stood there for a while, indignance and bitterness stewing in his chest. Once it had
all simmered down and settled, he walked away. He was going to bed. Kim Dokja exhausted him.
Kim Dokja acted the same way for the next two days as well and even the kids started picking up
that something was wrong. Yoo Joonghyuk had had enough.
He called Han Sooyoung.
"Give me his number."
"What?"
"The other phone, I don't have the number. Send it to me."
Han Sooyoung didn't say anything for a while, then her reply came in the form of a text message.
Yoo Joonghyuk found the number and saved it to his contacts immediately.
"I can't believe I just did that," he could hear Han Sooyoung muttering. "I better apologize to him
quick. . .Oh, my god! Hey, you better use it for the right purposes only."
Yoo Joonghyuk clicked his tongue, annoyed. He was planning on deleting the stupid number once
he was out of there. Even the other number, he would just save it 'Yoosung&Gilyoung's guardian'.
"This will either work miracles or cause the biggest disaster ever," Han Sooyoung was mumbling.
"No, no, it won't be that bad. Trust your genius, Han Sooyoung. Trust your gut."
Why she was trying to brainwash herself was beyond Yoo Joonghyuk. It was just a stupid number,
there was no need for all this drama.
"Hey," Han Sooyoung said, louder this time. "Did you do something? Did you make him mad or
something? Why do you need his number from me? I thought he would have given it to you by
now. You did something, didn't you?"
"I did not," Yoo Joonghyuk said even though he wasn't a hundred per cent sure. He wasn't sure
what he had done. "Kim Dokja just stopped talking."
"How long has this even been going on? No, seriously, what did you do?"
"I didn't do anything," Yoo Joonghyuk said resolutely, starting to get annoyed that he was being
accused of something he hadn't done.
"Yeah, right," said Han Sooyoung, dubious. "Think again. You must have done something."
Yoo Joonghyuk scowled.
"Did you stop him from reading his web novels?"
"No."
"Break his phone."
"No."
"Take away his coffee?"
"No."
"Force feed him tomatoes."
"No."
"Then what did you do?" Han Sooyoung said, now just thrown off as Yoo Joonhgyuk had been for
three days since this situation started. "What the actual fuck did you do to get him mad? Did you
burn down his bookshelf?"
"No!" Yoo Joonghyuk said, exasperated. This was going nowhere. Han Sooyoung was the least
helpful person ever and if it wasn't for the fact that she knew Kim Dokja best, he wouldn't be
having this conversation with her.
"Can you at least tell me where he usually spends his time?" she said, sounding incredibly miffed.
"His office," Yoo Joonghyuk answered and Han Sooyoung let out a heavy sigh on the other side of
the phone.
"Alright, here's the deal," she said. "If he's in his office and is either working or sitting in some
corner of the house, just reading, try to make some excuse and drag him out."
"If he's in his bedroom, just sleeping for most of the day, check if he's breathing and call me
immediately."
Why was she acting like Kim Dokja was some patient at a hospital? He was a grown man who
could take care of himself. Yoo Joonghyuk felt that Kim Dokja was doing all of this to just piss
him off rather than it being an episode or something.
"Got it?" Han Sooyoung pressed.
"I'm hanging up."
"Hey, Yoo Joonghyuk, you have to tell me, alright? The only reason I let you stay there is to have
someone to check on Kim Dokja—"
Yoo Joonghyuk hung up and texted Kim Dokja through the new number he had received a few
moments ago.
'This is Yoo Joonghyuk
Kim Dokja we have to talk
I'm coming in'
He immediately thought of the last time they had tried to talk.
No, they were not the same now. He pushed it out of his mind, not wanting to wallow in miserable
memories of the past. They were both different now, they had grown and matured. And he wasn't
in love with Kim Dokja now, he wouldn't just let him get away with it.
Kim Dokja leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes, tired. He didn't want to leave this room. It
wasn't that he liked this place in particular, but it kept everything else out.
Maybe he should just leave. He took his personal smartphone and opened the group chat he had
with Sun Wukong, Uriel and ABFD. They chatted often, and he was the least frequent texter. Uriel
texted the most, and surprisingly, next came ABFD. No one told him that though, worried that he
would stop once he figured out that he was going against his lone wolf concept.
He scrolled through the messages and was disappointed to see that everyone was busy at the
moment. He was going to jump at the chance if he saw one.
He closed his eyes again. His headache was almost blinding. He put his head down on the desk and
stayed that way for a while, wishing he could just fade away at that moment and not have to think
of anything else ever again.
Think of work, Kim Dokja told himself. Think of all the things he needed to do. He also had to buy
new headphones, trying to put his airpods in with a hand he was not used to was proving to be a
very difficult task and it always annoyed him how one just got put in wrong and he had to struggle
to adjust it in a way that felt comfortable. Bluetooth headphones over his ears sounded much
better.
This month, all things considered, was not a good one at all. Even before he broke his hand and
everything spiralled down to hell, it was a very bad month for him in general.
Maybe he should go somewhere on his own.
Uriel and Wukong were the tour guides and knew exactly what to do before they flew off to a new
place, drafting up a plan to have the most fun possible. Kim Dokja hadn't particularly considered
this an important skill to have, but now that he was thinking about it, maybe he should give them a
hand the next time they mentioned going somewhere and see how it was done. Even ABFD did his
research and could find out urban legends and horror stories about the place they were going to.
None of them were the kind to get terrified, and it became an unspoken condition for having fun,
visiting these attractions of foreign lands and trying to provoke the entities that might exist there.
Kim Dokja was just going for the stories, it was all so very interesting. Uriel carried Holy Water in
a little water gun of hers, just spraying it at everyone and everything for shit and giggles.
Should he tell them about his injury? Kim Dokja never texted first. He usually waited for his
opinion to be asked and only then did he join the conversation. It wasn't even a nice thing to talk
about, the fact that he broke his hand in a stupid accident.
He could imagine their reactions if he just thought about it. Uriel and Wukong would be incredibly
concerned, Uriel offering to come there and send Eden's best doctors, Wukong giving him tips on
how to take care of himself. ABFD would say something about him being a wuss for ending up
with a broken hand, and then claim that the white was a shit colour to have, then ask him to change
it into black or something cool.
Why did these people care for him, really? Kim Dokja had thought about it for so long but never
ended up with an answer. Was it pity? Did they think he was so incapable of doing anything that
they felt the need to surround him and constantly give him attention just so that he wouldn't just
wither up and die?
Is that why Yoo Joonghyuk, even though he hated him, decided he would stay and make sure he
didn't do something that would endanger the kids' lives?
Kim Dokja felt the same. He wished that Yoo Joonghyuk had never met him too.
None of this would have happened then. None of it.
He wouldn't have lived past fifteen. He wouldn't have burdened his parents with an incompetent
son. They would have found someone better and wouldn't have to cling to someone like him. Han
Sooyoung wouldn't have to worry about him either.
Kim Dokja wasn't blind, he saw how the others were concerned about him. He was even aware of
the group chat they had without him only discussing how he was doing and what they could do to
make him feel better.
He was touched, he truly was. He wished they didn't have to do that though. This wouldn't have
happened if he were normal. But he had never really been normal, had he? This wouldn't have
happened had he not lived past fifteen. And they could have lived a Kim-Dokja-induced stress-free
life.
Kim Dokja leaned back on his chair, staring at the ceiling.
He wouldn't have found out about his mother's sacrifice either.
What was she doing right now? Did she hate him now? He wasn't allowed to meet her anymore, as
per her request that got approved, but there were still ways in which he could find out about her. He
just hadn't done so.
He had packed his bags and left instead, only occasionally thinking about her. He still had a copy
of 'The Underground Killer' with him. He had multiple copies in fact, they were there in every
office he owned. He had one in the bookshelf behind him, one in the drawer beside his bed, one
back at his parents' place, and he even had a PDF saved on his phone.
He just reread the book, over and over again, until his brain was turned into mush, only phrases
and memories swirling around and he put it away, feeling sick.
He let out a sigh and tapped the space bar on his keyboard. The screen lit up and it was a pain to
type out the password with just one hand, slowly, key by key so that he wouldn't get it wrong. At
some point, his password had become a muscle memory when he placed his hands on the
keyboard. But now that he had just one hand to do it, it was so irritating.
He managed to unlock it within three tries and got to work. Bihyung would be so pissed by the end
of this, but Kim Dokja really needed this. He needed to be able to put away the things that were
plaguing his mind so that he wouldn't worry the people he cared about more than they already
were. He wasn't emotionally attached to work. He could be logical and reasonable here. When
things got too difficult here, he didn't feel like destroying everything. Kim Dokja was never good
with emotions.
It was so annoying to work with just his left hand. It made typing so much more difficult, and it
wasn't comfortable at all, his fingers kept cramping every now and then. He would never tease Han
Sooyoung for getting tired after a whole night's worth of writing ever again.
He hadn't realised just how much he depended on his right hand until now. It was a very novel
experience that he would both wish upon others and hope they never have to experience it. It was a
learning moment, but on the other hand, it did make life very difficult.
Kim Dokja pushed his chair away from his desk half an hour later, a rough plan forming in his
head. He just needed to trim it up a bit, even it out and it should work. . .Bihyung was going to be
so mad. Maybe this time he should tell him beforehand. . .No, then Bihyung would refuse and
transfer all his insecurities and worries onto Kim Dokja, making him lose confidence in turn and
that was bad for everyone.
If Kim Dokja was confident right now, and he was still confident when he went through it in the
morning, he was pretty sure it would work. He was never wrong with these things.
And maybe he could sneak in a trip and get the vacation he was looking for. If he went to his
parents' place, it would make them really happy. He would get his work done, get his head cleared,
and make his parents happy, his friends would be stress-free because they knew he was going to
his parents, it was like a lot of birds with one stone.
Excellent. Now if he just picked a date to fly, it would be great. . .Ah, he would have to spend
some time with the kids first. He did promise them that. Gilyoung's birthday was coming up too.
Should he take them somewhere as well? But where to? They still had school. . .He would have to
wait for their winter break, and even Namwoon would be rid of the exam he was dreading so
much. They could all go together, and Han Sooyoung technically worked from home, he could
drag her along as well. Winter break then, huh?
Winter break was so far away though. He could take them all on a summer trip, but Kim Namwoon
still had school and his cram school. They couldn't just leave him either. Maybe he should use
winter break as encouragement?
He was lost in thoughts when his phone let out a loud ding from the desk it was sitting on.
He unlocked it and opened the app to read the new messages he had received.
'This is Yoo Joonghyuk

Kim Dokja we have to talk
I'm coming in'
What? Why?
Kim Dokja heaved himself out of his chair, locked the computer and dragged himself towards the
door behind which what he was dreading would hit him full in the face.
Out of habit, Kim Dokja reached out his right hand towards the door, only to realise that he
couldn't use it anymore, and had to stuff his phone into his pocket, before having his only
functional hand free.
Yoo Joonghyuk was waiting right outside the door.
"What is it?" Kim Dokja said wearily.
"We have to talk," said Yoo Joonghyuk.
"What about?"
"What are you doing?" Yoo Joonghyuk said darkly.
"What am I doing?" Kim Dokja said, sounding confused.
"You are avoiding me!"
"So?"
Yoo Joonghyuk's glare vanished for a second due to shock. What was so shocking about this
though?
Neither wanted to be in each other's presence, if Yoo Joonghyuk was way too above avoiding him,
Kim Dokja would do it himself. Yoo Joonghyuk had made it very clear that he wanted nothing to
do with Kim Dokja and was doing this out of some stupid sense of responsibility or whatever. Kim
Dokja also had the responsibility to get out of his way then.
"Is that all?" Kim Dokja said when he didn't speak. "I still have some work to do. If you're done,
can you leave?"
Yoo Joonghyuk barely took three strides and was right in front of Kim Dokja, his shirt bunched up
in his fist, almost lifting Kim Dokja off the floor.
"You really have anger management issues, you know?" Kim Dokja said fractiously. "Should get
that checked sometime."
"You—"
"You what?" Kim Dokja spat. "You what, you bastard?"
Yoo Joonghyuk let go of Kim Dokja and shook his hand, clenching and unclenching his fist as
though he was practising great restraint. Kim Dokja took a step backwards, straightening his shirt
and brushing his hand down the front, smoothening it out carefully as though it was the most
important thing in the world.
"What do you want?" Kim Dokja said well aware that he was being too touchy at the moment.
"I want to talk!" Yoo Joonghyuk said, barging into the office and slamming the door shut behind
him.
"Stop destroying my house," Kim Dokja sneered after him.

Yoo Joonghyuk walked into the middle of the office and then rounded on Kim Dokja, who was
more preoccupied with the fact that he no longer had a hiding spot from Yoo Joonghyuk now that
he had entered the sanctity of his office.
"You are avoiding me," Yoo Joonghyuk said. "Stop that. Do you think I want to be here?"
"Then leave."
Yoo Joonghyuk clenched his jaw. "I am here to help you because I was the one who caused this,"
he continued as though Kim Dokja hadn't said anything.
"I never asked for help."
"That's precisely why—"
"I never asked for your help!" Kim Dokja said loudly. "We both don't want to be near each other,
so why the fuck are we doing this? I don't understand. I have been doing things on my own all this
time, I can keep doing that. What's the issue? If it gets tough, then that's that. What of it?"
"Are you an idiot?" Yoo Joonghyuk said irritably. "It's tough because you don't ask for help! I'm
right here, so tell me what you need."
"I told you! I don't need anything. Especially from you."
"I don't need you either, Yoo Joonghyuk."
Yoo Joonghyuk stared at him. It really felt like he could see right through him.
"You," he started slowly. "Are you angry?"
"I'm not, now leave," Kim Dokja said, waving a hand towards the door.
"Why are you angry?" Yoo Joonghyuk said. "What do you have to be angry about?"
What did he have to be angry about? Was he serious?
"What do you think?" Kim Dokja said, glaring up at Yoo Joonghyuk. "Why don't you sit down and
think what could have possibly made me angry."
"I have been thinking!" Yoo Joonhyuk snapped back. "I have been doing just that when your great
solution was to treat me like I'm invisible."
"I was staying out of your way," Kim Dokja said scathingly. "What would I do if you get angry and
break another hand of mine?"
"It was a mistake!" Yoo Joonghyuk bellowed. "It was a mistake and I'm trying to fix it."
"Excellent job you are doing," Kim Dokja smirked humourlessly.
"You are not letting me."
"Why am I required to go along with you because you made a mistake and want to rectify it? Is
that my problem?"
Yoo Joonghyuk's arm twitched and he took a step backwards, closing his eyes and taking deep
breaths. He was so dramatic for no reason, that prickly bastard.
"Kim Dokja," Yoo Joonghyuk said finally and Kim Dokja considered killing himself and framing
Yoo Joonghyuk for murder.
"What?" he said grudgingly.
"I admit that I made a mistake, I am trying to fix it. Let me fix it."
"Unless you can like buy a potion from the Dokkaebi bag, I don't see how you can fix this," Kim
Dokja said sarcastically.
"What?"
The confusion made sense, of course. The only two people who knew about the Dokkaebi bag
were Kim Dokja and Han Sooyoung.
"If this is from one of your web novels, Kim Dokja, I swear. . ." Yoo Joonghyuk trailed off,
restraining himself and biting his frustration down. He closed his eyes as though he was exercising
all the patience in the world.
"Why are you like this?" he said finally.
Kim Dokja bit the inside of his cheek. He should text the group first, and find a place to go as soon
as possible.
"I could ask you the same," he said waspishly.
"You know why," snapped Yoo Joonghyuk. "You know exactly what I'm trying to do. And you are
ignoring me, just because you've decided to be annoying."
"I'm the annoying one now?" Kim Dokja laughed. "Not you?"
"I'm not—"
"No, consider this," Kim Dokja said testily. "Some guy just barges into your house one day and
says he's going to stay there because of whatever great reason his brain's come up with."
"Some guy?" Yoo Joonghyuk growled. "I'm just some guy now?"
"Isn't that what you wanted to be?" Kim Dokja snapped back. "You said it yourself, we'll go back to
being strangers. So you are some guy."
"You said that!" Yoo Joonghyuk shouted and if it weren't for the soundproofing in the office, the
occupants of the first landing would have heard him.
"I know what I said," Kim Dokja scoffed. "You were clearly uncomfortable with me. You still are
uncomfortable with me being around you. I was trying to make it easier for you."
"Did I ask you to do that?"
"You didn't have to—You don't even want me around!"
"And you do?"

"Not at all!" Kim Dokja huffed. "Not in the least. I would kick you out, really. I would. But we've
told the kids that you're going to be around. Mia's happy, the kids are having a blast honestly. I
guess I'll just have to bear with it."
He would love to kick Yoo Joonghyuk out, really, but Yoo Joonghyuk had been sort of right. The
kids did want him around. Since when did he get so good at cooking anyway? Kim Dokja almost
cried when he ate his dinner a few days ago. He was even thankful that he had lived so long and
was able to taste whatever piece of heaven that was.
"Stop bringing the kids as a shield every time you don't want to talk about something," Yoo
Joonghyuk said through gritted teeth. "This is not about them. Stop ignoring me."
"I am not obligated to give you attention and make you feel special, Yoo Joonghyuk," Kim Dokja
said furiously.
"I don't want your fucking attention!"
"What's your problem then?"
"Ask me for help!"
If Kim Dokja wasn't running on caffeine and anger he didn't know he had been holding back until
now, he would have flinched at Yoo Joonghyuk's yell. Right now, however, he felt like punching
the guy in the face. A tough assignment considering his current health status, but he could manage
it if he tried. Tit for tat, perhaps, a broken hand and a broken jaw.
"The only reason I am here is to help you, Kim Dokja," Yoo Joonghyuk snarled. "Ask me for help.
Stop ignoring me."
"I don't want to."
"Why not?"
"Are you seriously asking me that?" Kim Dokja scoffed. "You have the gall to strut around, giving
me orders, tell me that I am not required in my own house and now you ask why I don't want your
help?"
"When did I do that?"
Kim Dokja's mouth fell open in indignance. When did he—What?!
"You did!" Kim Dokja shouted back. "You told me to fuck off because you didn't want me
around!"
"I did not!" Yoo Joonghyuk protested and Kim Dokja was really going to punch the guy in the
face. No, really, Kim Dokja could manage it. Hell, he believed he could knock Yoo Joonghuk out
with a single blow if he used the heavy cast on his hand and got the right spot.
"I can't believe you," Kim Dokja breathed out.
"I don't get you either," Yoo Joonghyuk glowered at him. "Stop trying to do things on your own
when I'm right here. If it's hard, tell me it is and I'll help you."
"Go fuck yourself, man," Kim Dokja said, swallowing all the other words he wanted to say.
His shirt was in Yoo Joonghyuk's hand again, and Kim Dokja rolled his eyes.
"What?" he said coldly. "Going to break something else now?"
"I said it was a mistake!" Yoo Joonghyuk yelled in his face. "I didn't mean to do that! I am trying
to fix it, you are not letting me!"
"I don't need your fucking help! What is your problem, really?" Kim Dokja said, just as angry.
"Why are you—"
"I'm worried!" Yoo Joonghyuk's reply drowned out Kim Dokja's rants.
"I'm worried about you! You're hurt—you are hurt and you go around doing everything on your
own. You take care of Biyoo, you make kids' beds, you put the clothes for washing, you—You
don't ask me for help. I'm right here, so ask me!"
Kim Dokja closed his mouth when he realised that it was hanging open.
"You said you didn't care about me," he reminded Yoo Joonghyuk. Yoo Joonghyuk frowned.
"I lied."
"You don't lie."
"I do. A bit."
Yoo Joonghyuk let go of Kim Dokja's shirt and Kim Dokja's feet found the floor again.
"You hate me," Kim Dokja said quietly, bending his head and busying himself with his shirt so he
wouldn't have to look at Yoo Joonghyuk. He didn't want Yoo Joonghyuk to see the expression he
had on his face right now.
"A little," Yoo Joonghyuk admitted. "You didn't tell me it was you even though you knew all
along."
"You wouldn't have wanted me to," Kim Dokja said, forcing himself to look up.
"That wasn't for you to decide," Yoo Joonghyuk said and Kim Dokja wished he hadn't looked up at
all. "You should have told me when you figured out that I was trying to meet you. I hate you for
that. You were deceiving me."
"You hated me before that," Kim Dokja told him.
Yoo Joonghyuk closed his mouth.
"I didn't hate you," he said and Kim Dokja flinched slightly. "I was upset."
"Why?" Kim Dokja asked.
Yoo Joonghyuk did not give him an answer. He didn't try to get one either. It didn't matter whether
he knew the reason or not.
"Kim Dokja," Yoo Joonghyuk said and Kim Dokja took a deep breath.
"Stop doing this. I'm right here. Look at me."
Kim Dokja didn't want to be looking at Yoo Joonghyuk at the moment. But he was, even though he
found it very difficult to.
Kim Dokja felt like a petulant child throwing a tantrum. His mouth felt dry and his headache wasn't
going anywhere. The room should have felt stifling with Yoo Joonghyuk in it, but it didn't. Kim
Dokja really didn't know why. It made no sense, even scientifically.
"You said you didn't want me around."
"I did not."
"You're lying."
"I am not."
Kim Dokja frowned.
"You did," he said forcefully. "You told me that I am not needed here."
"When did I do that?"
"When I was feeding Biyoo! You told me to fuck off and that I was not needed!"
The expression on Yoo Joonghyuk's face really pissed him off. The man looked like he was
searching his memories far and wide to find out when that had even happened. How could he just
forget it like that when it had been eating Kim Dokja up inside for days?
"Was it at breakfast?" Yoo Joonghyuk said finally.
"Yes!"
Yoo Joonghyuk looked down at him with exasperation and had Kim Dokja been a man with lesser
restraint, he would have socked the asshole in the face.
"I never asked you to fuck off. I would never use such language in front of the children," Yoo
Joonghyuk said and the haughty tone was doing him no favours in appeasing Kim Dokja.
"You implied it."
"I did not. I implied that you need to go somewhere else, do whatever you were doing before and
leave feeding Biyoo to me."
Kim Dokja stared at him with a very stupid expression and Yoo Joonghyuk grudgingly admitted
that Han Sooyoung had been right. He was indeed digging his own grave. He dug it nice and deep
and jumped right into it.
"Why are you so shit with words?" Kim Dokja said, his voice barely above a whisper.
"And you are not?" Yoo Joonghyuk said, irked.
"I'm better than you, clearly!" Kim Dokja cried.
Yoo Joonghyuk raised his eyebrows incredulously. "Are you sure about that? You thought I asked
you to fuck off when all I wanted was for you to eat your breakfast."
"Eat your food," he added, taking the chance when he saw it. "Why do I have to make food for you
every day if you're not going to eat it?"
Yoo Joonghyuk watched Kim Dokja's baffled expression morph into something more of
indignation and slight sorrow, and then finally into amusement, a weak smile playing on his lips.
"Did you feel that too?" he said finally. "Déjà vu? We've had a similar conversation before, haven't
we?"
Yoo Joonghyuk heard what Kim Dokja had said. He just took some time to process it and in the
meantime, Kim Dokja interpreted his pause differently and rolled his eyes.
"Of course, you forgot it," he grumbled.
"I remember," Yoo Joonghyuk said quickly. "You are still as much of an idiot as you were then."
"Hah? And you're still as tall as you are stupid," Kim Dokja said sarcastically, but the smile on his
face was wide.
"Says the one who called me 'Hyung' for weeks."
"You thought I was ten!"
"You were tiny," Yoo Joonghyuk shrugged.
Kim Dokja's cross expression and indignant rants did not match the warm look in his eyes at all and
Yoo Joonghyuk wasn't able to turn away from his face no matter how hard he tried.
He had just handed Kim Dokja the shovel.

Chapter 35
"Alright," Kim Dokja said, a hand on his hip, sighing softly. "We're just going to end up
misunderstanding each other like this. I have conditions of my own."
"What?"
"One, you don't get to order me around," said Kim Dokja resolutely meeting Yoo Joonghyuk's
eyes. "Two, I will cooperate with you if you cooperate with me. Deal?"
"Deal, if my conditions are accepted as well," Yoo Joonghyuk nodded.
"You have free reign of the kitchen," Kim Dokja said. "There is no place in the house that is
restricted, really."
"Your office," Yoo Joonghyuk reminded him dryly.
"That's only when I'm working," Kim Dokja rolled his eyes. "You can walk in and out of here if
I'm not working. It's never been a restriction, but more of a courtesy to let me work undisturbed,
you know?"
"It's not a rule?"
"No. I don't really have rules in the house," Kim Dokja said.
Kim Dokja was an idiot who had no clue about the impact he had on others' lives, Yoo Joonghyuk
deduced. If all the things he had considered 'rules' in the household were just habits people took up
and ended up getting stuck, did Kim Dokja even do anything? From all that he had heard and seen,
Yoo Joonghyuk was under the impression that Kim Dokja was excellent at parenting.
"You can walk into any room," Kim Dokja was saying."If you can find the deed to this house you
can have it too."
"What?" Yoo Joonghyuk frowned.
"It's a challenge, in case you are bored or something," Kim Dokja waved it away dismissively.
"You can take my car. No issue. I've been booking cabs anyway."
"I will drive you," Yoo Joonghyuk said and Kim Dokja looked like he wanted to argue, but seeing
Yoo Joonghyuk's threatening glare, he gave that up and sufficed with a shrug.
"I am here to assist you. Take it," Yoo Joonghyuk said. "If I find you trying to do everything on
your own, I will knock you out and lock you up."
Kim Dokja looked incredulous.
"What's with everyone's obsession of wanting to lock me up?" he said, miffed. "I'm fine,
seriously."
"I dare you to try," Yoo Joonghyuk said sharply.

"Yoo Joonghyuk," Kim Dokja called, standing by the door to his office, watching Yoo Joonghyuk
leaving after getting Kim Dokja to promise him that he would take Yoo Joonghyuk's help with the
simple things.
"I didn't mean to hurt you, you know?"
"What?"
"When I found out that Mia forgot about me, and after the way you were when we met at Han
Sooyoung's congratulatory dinner, I thought you wouldn't have wanted me around anyway," said
Kim Dokja and Yoo Joonghyuk had to admit that the man was right. He wouldn't have wanted Kim
Dokja around.
"I thought it would be fine if you just never met me."
"You thought wrong," Yoo Joonghyuk told him.
"I'm sorry."
Yoo Joonghyuk just gave a curt nod before he left.
How was simply talking with Kim Dokja so taxing? He would have to be tortured for a thousand
lifetimes before he ever said out loud that Han Sooyoung was actually right.
He was so fucked.
No, he wasn't in love with Kim Dokja. Not anymore. But there were a lot of residual, unresolved
feelings that were dragged up to the surface now that he was in Kim Dokja's presence. It only
caused him a lot of emotional turmoil and did nothing to help him.
Two months, Yoo Joonghyuk told himself. Just two months until Kim Dokja got his cast off and
Yoo Joonghyuk would interact with him as he had planned. But until then, as long as he was under
this roof, he would try to behave amicably. They didn't need any more bad memories between
them.
He was visited by Dream Kim Dokja that night.
They were standing outside the kids' school, Dream Kim Dokja leaning against his white car,
smirking condescendingly.
"You're really pathetic, you know that right?" he said. "First you force your feelings onto me, and
then you get all pissed because I didn't want you. You still get pissed when I try to stay out of your
way. There's no pleasing you, is there?"
"Can you be any more obvious, Yoo Joonghyuk? You're still in love with me, aren't you?"
Dream Kim Dokja laughed as though he had heard something incredibly funny.
"You practically broke into my house! I seriously don't get how anyone could be so clingy. Maybe
I should just call the police on you."
"I don't know what you are looking for, but you won't get it from me," Dream Kim Dokja glared.
"Do you think I would care for you like I did before, do you? Especially after you went and ruined
it?"
"I don't need you now, Yoo Joonghyuk. I have never needed you."
Dream Kim Dokja was still an asshole, Yoo Joonghyuk decided when he woke up in the morning.
He wasn't crying today, though. Mostly because he didn't think Dream Kim Dokja had said
anything too drastic. He had been mostly right even, except for a few parts, that is.
When he made his way to the kitchen as he had been for the past three days, he saw Kim Dokja in
his spot on the sofa, with his laptop and a cup of coffee.
This time Kim Dokja looked up and smiled at him.
"Good morning," he said and Yoo Joonghyuk nodded before leaving to the kitchen as soon as he
could.
"Did you two make up?" Mia said when Yoo Joonghyuk stood at the entranceway to the living
room, arms crossed, glowering at Kim Dokja until the man had no choice but to get up and follow
him to the kitchen to eat his breakfast.
"We weren't fighting," Kim Dokja lied.
"Don't lie, Ahjussi," Yoosung said brightly, glad that Kim Dokja was sitting with them for
breakfast like before.
"I knew that sooty prick had done something," Gilyoung grumbled. "Did he apologize, Hyung?"
Kim Dokja smiled sheepishly.
"I don't eat this much," Kim Dokja told Yoo Joonghyuk, staring at the portions in front of him.
"And I've already had coffee. Besides, I usually only eat once a day—"
"Are you a plant?" Yoo Joonghyuk scoffed but put back some of the food from the plate anyway.
"What?" Kim Dokja said, confused. Yoo Joonghyuk did not elaborate but Mia found this very
funny for some reason.
"Oppa means to say if you are a plant, Squid Ahjussi," Mia said once she was done giggling. "Do
you need food like plants need to be watered only once a day?"
Kim Dokja stared at the girl for a good five seconds, taking in the information and letting it sit
there in his head for a bit. . .Was that humour? An attempt at it? It wasn't a very great attempt,
honestly, but seeing that it was coming from Yoo Joonghyuk of all people. . .
"Okay," he said finally. "First of all, there are different kinds of plants. Not all require to be
watered just once a day. Some need water twice, and some need it every other day, not daily. It
depends. Comparing humans to plants is a ridiculous thing to do, really."
Mia rolled her eyes grandly and Yoosung grinned widely. Gilyoung was nodding along because he
liked seeing Yoo Joonghyuk get outsmarted by his Hyung.
"Besides, are you comparing a habit that a human body is accustomed to, to a water requirement of
a literal plant? Do you think that plants only require water? Are you aware of how plants actually
work?"
"Shut up and eat," Yoo Joonghyuk snapped, slamming a glass of water onto the table in front of
Kim Dokja. If Kim Dokja saw his ears turn red, he said nothing. And if he felt his own heart skip a
beat, he pretended it never happened.
He could play this role. In fact, he liked this role, it was better than the last one. It was a making
peace with the past kind of story. He could manage this just fine, he would be the person from the
past who would end up apologizing and feeling really bad for what they had done before. The story
would end with the protagonist feeling bittersweet because the apology hadn't erased the pain of
the past, but it did give them some closure. And happy ending.
Yoo Joonghyuk in a true protagonist style had even decided to be kind to him. He was worried for
him even though he had no need to. The least Kim Dokja could do was cooperate so that Yoo
Joonghyuk wouldn't have to worry too much.
Upon Yoosung and Gilyoung's, and strangely Mia's insistence, Kim Dokja got into the car,
dropping them off at school. The girls were whispering to themselves, heads together and giggling
behind their hands for some reason, and Gilyoung seemed majorly pissed.
"Will you be taking the bus from middle school?" Kim Dokja wondered out loud as the car raced
down the road.
"Too dangerous," Yoo Joonghyuk said immediately.
"How's it too dangerous?" Kim Dokja said, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. "They'll be thirteen
soon. They should learn how to do these things on their own."
"They should, but not yet," said Yoo Joonghyuk with a tone of finality that made Kim Dokja sigh
and shrug.
"Did you start taking the bus when you were in middle school, Ahjussi?" Yoosung asked.
Kim Dokja stared ahead blankly, as though he was thinking.
"I am not sure," he said finally. "I think I'd already travelled by bus and subway trains when I was
in elementary school."
"Really?" Gilyoung said, a bit excited. "Alone?"
"Alone," Kim Dokja nodded.
"Why? What about your parents?" Mia asked and Yoo Joonghyuk wondered when she would learn
to be more tactful about these things. But then again, it was one of Mia's charms.
"They weren't around then," Kim Dokja said with hesitance.
The statement wasn't met with pity by anyone in the car. Each had their own version of sad stories,
pity for something like this was ridiculous.
Kim Dokja stared out of the window, a small smirk dancing across his face, his lips twitching
upwards before he straightened it. What the hell was he thinking to make him grin so much?
Yoo Joonghyuk kept his eyes on the road. Kim Dokja wasn't wearing his suit today. He was in a
much more comfortable-looking white shirt with a blue jacket and trousers. He imagined it must
have been easier to get dressed this way. How did he even manage to get into his suits all these
days with his hand in that state?
Kim Dokja would probably say something along the lines of 'it wasn't too difficult' if he asked the
fool. That bastard likes keeping way too many secrets.
"Should I try waking Biyoo up earlier?" Kim Dokja said on their drive back home. "It makes no
sense to drive to and fro twice in the morning and twice in the afternoon."
"You've done this all this time," Yoo Joonghyuk said dryly.
"Well, yeah, that's when I was driving," Kim Dokja sighed. "I don't want to inconvenience you any
further. Or maybe I should just get a taxi for Biyoo. . .Alright, I won't."
Kim Dokja gave up quickly when he saw Yoo Joonghyuk glare at the road.
"I'll be troubling you for a bit then," he said sheepishly. "Thank you, Yoo Joonghyuk-ssi."
Yoo Joonghyuk wanted to snap at the formal way of addressing him. They weren't strangers. . .But
they might as well be something like that in a couple of months. He didn't want to eat his words
then, so he let it be. He would be Yoo Joonghyuk-ssi anyway, he could just consider this practice
for later.
Better Yoo Joonghyuk-ssi than Joonghyuk-ah. If Kim Dokja called him 'Joonghyuk-ah', he would
rip the steering wheel off the car and slam it onto the man's head.
Kim Dokja was an absolute piece of shit. If it weren't for Biyoo's insistence on maintaining a
pleasant expression, Yoo Joonghyuk would have scowled at Kim Dokja for the entire duration as
they got Biyoo ready for her nursery.
Sure, Biyoo could help by following simple requests like putting her hands through the sleeves of
her dress and all, but Yoo Joonghyuk wasn't aware that Kim Dokja even sat and washed Biyoo's
hair, dried it, combed it neatly, helped her pick out the dress she wanted to wear for the day, then
help her into it, and carry her all the way down to the dining room.
Maybe they should just lock him somewhere and force him to rest. Normal people don't do this
when they get injured. They rest, eat well and focus on recovering. Did this jerk not have any
thoughts of recovering?
"We're done much earlier today," Kim Dokja had the audacity to sound surprised. Of course, they
were done early today! Yoo Joonghyuk was there to help him and he wasn't struggling with one
odd hand of his.
Kim Dokja made to pick up Biyoo as he always did, but Yoo Joonghyuk got there first and he
marched out of the room before Kim Dokja could start a protest and get the child back.
Biyoo seemed to be comfortable with him now. When Yoo Joonghyuk was holding her, she would
rest her head on his shoulder and hum a soft rhyme, enjoying her ride.
And Yoo Joonghyuk learned to return her greeting as soon as she said 'Hi'. Biyoo was incredibly
persistent she would wait until he gave in and did as she wanted.
Kim Dokja sat outside his office for much longer now. So he had just been avoiding Yoo
Joonghyuk then...asshole.
Kim Dokja had a constant grimace on his face as he struggled to type with just one hand, and he
would have to take breaks often, resting his left hand, flexing and waving it as though to get rid of
the pain.
Kim Dokja only got up from the sofa when he had a call to take or when he wanted to get himself a
coffee. Yoo Joonghyuk kept a count of just how much caffeine the idiot was consuming. By noon,
he was already on his third cup and Yoo Joonghyuk seriously considered throwing the coffee
powder out.
Kim Dokja had to be threatened into sitting at the dining table and eating lunch. He started
reluctantly but finished everything because Yoo Joonghyuk's cooking was just that delicious.
Then he sat with Han Donghoon in the living room, talking softly. Yoo Joonghyuk heard Han
Donghoon responding back in sentences as well; they were talking about how Han Donghoon's
studies were going and if Han Donghoon wanted to consider swimming to get some physical
exercise.
Yoo Joonghyuk sat in his room, the door open to avoid disturbing Kim Dokja when he was out in
the living room. He could hear the man talking on his phone, he had heard more foreign languages
than he had heard Korean the whole day.
When the kids returned, the house was so much more rowdy, in a nice way. Kim Dokja even left
his laptop behind to sit with the kids and listen to them tell him about the project they had to do for
school.
"Can we go somewhere tomorrow, Oppa?" Mia asked Yoo Joonghyuk. "It's finally Saturday!"
"You're grounded," Yoo Joonghyuk reminded her and the kids stopped talking abruptly.
"Still?" Gilyoung cried.
"It was for a week," Kim Dokja nodded. "So, yes, still. You've got two more days to go."
The children groaned.
"So we aren't going anywhere tomorrow?" Mia clicked her tongue. "I wanted to go to the park."
"I wanted to see the puppies," Yoosung admitted quietly.
"I wanted to catch insects with Hyung," said Gilyoung.
"Kim Dokja is injured," Yoo Joonghyuk told them.

"He can still walk," Gilyoung snarled back up at him.
"Let's go somewhere after your punishment's done," Kim Dokja said, interrupting before Lee
Gilyoung got more enraged. "I was thinking we could go somewhere for your winter break."
"Somewhere?"
"Do you want to visit your grandparents?" Kim Dokja said.
"Can we?!" Yoosung and Gilyoung cried, almost jumping in surprise.
Kim Dokja nodded, smiling. "We'll have to prepare your passports though...And get your visa."
His parents lived abroad, Yoo Joonghyuk noted. That made sense, the way Kim Namwoon made it
seem like a big deal, their grandparents coming all the way to Seoul for a few weeks.
"You can come along too, Mia," Kim Dokja said noticing that Mia had gone oddly quiet, staying
out of the conversation. "Yoosung and Gilyoung wouldn't leave you behind anyway."
"I can?" Mia said, surprised and Kim Dokja nodded.
"As long as your brother is okay with it," he said and Yoo Joonghyuk wondered if he was the only
one who felt the pang of bittersweet nostalgia in his chest. "We can take him as well if you want."
"Let's all go!" Yoosung nodded happily.
"Oppa, oppa, can we?" Mia said, turning to him, face alight with excitement.
"I'll think about it," Yoo Joonghyuk held back a sigh. Kim Dokja still had the bad habit of
springing up shit without discussing it with him first. "There's still a lot of time until winter break."
That was true. Their summer break had barely started.
"Why can't we go this summer, Hyung?" said Gilyoung, reluctantly taking his homework out of his
bag.
"Namwoon has to study for his CSATs," Kim Dokja told them. "I thought we could all go once he
was done with his exam."
There sure were a lot of things to consider when planning a vacation abroad. Come to think of it,
Yoo Joonghyuk hadn't ever taken Mia out of the country. He had to go occasionally, for
competitions and such, but he had never been anywhere as a tourist.
Kim Dokja was uselessly good at the elementary syllabus, Yoo Joonghyuk noted as they sat in the
living room, the kids sitting around on the floor, little tables they had brought from their rooms
pushed up against them, books, pencils, erasers lying around as they did their homework.
Was he running an after-school tuition centre?
The kids kept asking him whenever they had a doubt, and he would explain it to them like any
teacher would have. Kim Dokja was ridiculous sometimes.
Yoo Joonghyuk was sitting next to Kim Dokja on the sofa. They were sitting way too close, knee
to knee because he had insisted on holding Biyoo as Kim Dokja read to her, for practice or
something. Kim Dokja couldn't hold both Biyoo and a book, so Yoo Joonghyuk was doing the job
he was here for.
It was a story from a picture book teaching kids how to count till ten along with some life lessons
and a take-home moral in the end. Pretty neat story, Yoo Joonghyuk thought. Even Biyoo seemed
to like it.
Yoo Joonghyuk watched the kids, vaguely listening to Kim Dokja's voice reading the story. Those
three looked way too happy for kids who were grounded. Was it a punishment that way?
He didn't feel the urge to do anything about it though. He took no enjoyment in seeing them
miserable and he believed they had learnt their lesson already.
Kim Namwoon arrived home after seven in the evening as usual. He threw his bag onto the floor
and plopped himself down as well, lying spread-eagled.
"Take off your stinky socks," Kim Dokja scolded. "And wash your hands and feet. . .Your face as
well. What have you been rolling around in?"
"Whatever you clean freak," Kim Namwoon muttered, rolling over onto his side and giving Kim
Dokja the middle finger behind his back. "One day, I'll stab you myself. I'll stab you right through
your heart."
"You do that," Kim Dokja said nonchalantly. "Go wash yourself now. You know what? Better take
a bath. Go, go."
Kim Namwoon grumbled around and stayed on the floor for fifteen more minutes until he finally
dragged himself to his feet and slouched away.
"Are you sure you don't want to stream?" Kim Dokja said at dinner. "You can always bring your
set up here."
"Not required," Yoo Joonghyuk said, keeping an eye on Kim Dokja. He couldn't use his chopsticks
properly with a hand he wasn't used to, so he was eating with a spoon and fork. He managed just
fine with it, but then again, they could never be too sure when it came to Kim Dokja. He would
walk around smiling and laughing the whole day even if he was stabbed.
Kim Namwoon looked up from his food. "Captain's retiring soon, didn't he tell you?" he said and
Kim Dokja who was feeding Biyoo the deboned fish paused.
"You're retiring?"
"Soon," Yoo Joonghyuk said. Kim Dokja being his fan was something he still had no idea how to
go about. He didn't have to sound so distressed about it. It was about time he stepped down
anyway and streaming was just a bother now.
Was he worried about how Yoo Joonghyuk would manage once his income was cut off? Is that
what it was?
Yoo Joonghyuk decided to put away being petty for this once and said, "The company suggested
coaching new upcoming teams. I might consider."
"Ah," Kim Dokja said blankly. "I see."
"Capten?" Biyoo said slowly, trying out the new word that had caught her attention. Being called
'Captain' by Biyoo was not something Yoo Joonghyuk had ever expected. He was expecting
something like 'Ahjussi' or even 'Sooty prick', not 'Captain'.
"Appa," Biyoo called and Yoo Joonghyuk noticed that Biyoo never slapped her father as she did
with the others. When she had to get the others' attention, she would bring her little palm to
whichever part she could touch and give them sharp slaps until she got their attention. Not with
Kim Dokja though, with him, she would softly tug at his sleeve and look up at him with the widest
eyes and the cutest look on her face.
"What's Capten?" Biyoo asked her father.
She got it from her father, Yoo Joonghyuk was certain.
Dinner was much better than it had been for the past few days, and Yoo Joonghyuk got lost in his
thoughts, eating his food, with Kim Dokja's explanation of what a 'Captain' was and the kids'
chatting as background noise.
Yoo Joonghyuk wondered when exactly Kim Dokja woke up. He was always awake when he went
to the kitchen in the morning and he was awake even as everyone else retired for the night.
Kim Dokja had always been an early rouser, even when they were back in college. Yoo Joonghyuk
didn't want to be thinking about it, but it wasn't something he could forget. It didn't mean anything
now, it was just information. Nothing more, nothing less.
He was done washing the rice and putting it into the electric cooker when Kim Dokja walked into
the kitchen.
"Good morning," he said and Yoo Joonghyuk let out a soft hum as acknowledgement.
"I just wanted to let you know," Kim Dokja continued. "That the housekeeper will be coming
today. You know, clean the house, get the laundry done—"
"We did the washing yesterday," Yoo Joonghyuk reminded him.
"The normal ones, yeah," said Kim Dokja. "Not my stuff. They can't be machine-washed. I have to
get them dry-cleaned."
Yoo Joonghyuk almost rolled his eyes as he took out vegetables from the refrigerator.
"So, I hope you don't mind the disturbance."
"I don't," Yoo Joonghyuk said.
"Cool," Kim Dokja's footsteps drew closer and the man headed straight towards the coffee
machine. Yoo Joonghyuk grabbed his shirt before he could reach it and pulled him back.
"What?!" Kim Dokja cried indignantly, writhing to get out of Yoo Joonghyuk's grasp.
"Stop drinking so much coffee," Yoo Joonghyuk chided. "It's not good for you."
Kim Dokja pursed his lips, glaring up at him. He stilled and tugged his shirt fabric out of Yoo
Joonghyuk's grip and straightened his shirt.
"It's only my second cup today," Kim Dokja grumbled.
"Why are you even trying to stay awake?" Yoo Joonghyuk snapped. "Go get some sleep instead."
"Can't," Kim Dokja said moving quicker this time, slipping out of Yoo Joonghyuk's grasping range
and getting to his coffee machine. "I've got insomnia."
"Take your meds, then."
"I don't like it all that much."
That was the stupidest reason Yoo Joonghyuk had ever heard anyone give for not taking medicine.
They were prescribed to him for a reason! He was supposed to take them because they were
necessary.
As he peeled the carrots, letting the bright orange shavings fall into the sink, Yoo Joonghyuk
debated with himself wondering if he should ask or not. He finally gave in when Kim Dokja added
a teaspoon of sugar into what Yoo Joonghyuk was sure was a bitter, bitter coffee.
"Do you still have migraines?" he asked.
Kim Dokja's rhythmic stirring of the drink stuttered for a second before he carried on normally.
"Yeah," he responded.
"You take meds for it then?"
"Occasionally," Kim Dokja said.
They didn't speak for a while, Yoo Joonghyuk finished peeling his carrots and transferred them
onto the cutting board for later, while he went to find bell peppers. Kim Dokja rinsed off his
teaspoon and wiped it dry before putting it back into its drawer.
Kim Dokja waited for Yoo Joonghyuk to move away from the refrigerator to go and get the ice
cubes he always put into his coffee. Yoo Joonghyuk had no clue as to why he did that. The three
ice cubes melted pretty quickly in the hot water and served no purpose.
Kim Dokja only spoke once he had a sip of his coffee.
"I have a lot of pills prescribed now," he said as Yoo Joonghyuk dragged his knife along the green
flesh of the pepper, tearing it into strips.
"For a lot of things."
"Do you take them on time, then?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked and Kim Dokja chuckled lightly.
"Yeah, I've got alarms set up for that," he said. "To remind me in case I forget, you know?"
Yoo Joonghyuk wasn't curious and didn't ask for a better, more detailed explanation as Kim Dokja
left the kitchen with his coffee and went back to whatever he was doing in the living room.
The kids were allowed to sleep in on a day they didn't have school. They woke up a bit after their
usual rising time anyway, probably out of habit. It was a good thing Yoo Joonghyuk hadn't decided
to rest.
Kim Namwoon slept in and they let him rest, he had probably stayed up last night, doing whatever
he was doing. He only roused sometime at noon and trudged downstairs, hungry and drowsy.
Yoo Joonghyuk who had been preparing lunch asked him to go wait for a while.
"Freaky, man," Kim Namwoon muttered as he dragged his feet out of the kitchen and away from
Yoo Joonghyuk. "Fucking freaky. Captain cooking in an apron in Hyung's kitchen."
"I'm going to tell Lee Jihye," was his next statement and he seemed a bit more awake than he was a
few seconds ago.
Yoo Joonghyuk thought he could see why Kim Dokja took every chance he got to tease Kim
Namwoon about his crush on Lee Jihye.
"Did you even brush your teeth?" he heard Kim Dokja's voice indicating that Kim Namwoon had
managed to make his way to the living room.
"Argh, why do you have to start every morning?" Kim Namwoon groaned.
"It's twelve-fifteen, in the afternoon," Kim Dokja said dryly and Kim Namwoon grumbled some
more.
The television was playing in the background, some educational kids program that Biyoo watched.
The kids were up in their room, Kim Dokja thought they were playing; Yoo Joonghyuk knew they
were coming up with plans to get him and Kim Dokja married. Nothing he said was going to
dissuade them anyway, so he dropped trying. They would soon learn by experience that not
everything was going to go as they wanted.
With Gilyoung's birthday in a week, the idea that was winning their race was somehow making
Yoo Joonghyuk and Kim Dokja spend some time alone, an impromptu date when they went to the
museum Gilyoung wanted to go.
But now that Yoo Joonghyuk was aware of said plan, he could prevent it easily.
That reminded him, he had to buy a gift for Lee Gilyoung. He had a rough idea of what the boy
liked, but he wasn't sure what to buy for him. An insect encyclopedia? He had enough of those
already, Yoo Joonghyuk had seen them in the boy's room. Maybe a box of chocolates and cook a
fancy birthday meal?
He might have to go onto the internet and look for gift ideas for preteen boys.
They were halfway through their lunch when the doorbell rang.
"The housekeeper?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked when everyone paused for a second before going back
to their food when Kim Dokja motioned at them to continue.
"Not sure," Kim Dokja said, pushing his chair back and getting up. "He doesn't come until later,
though. I'll go check."
Yoo Joonghyuk who had made to get up, sat back down. It was just opening a door, Kim Dokja
could manage it just fine.
A few seconds later, they could hear voices from the living room, drawing closer.
"You are an absolute madman!" a foreign voice was saying, very indignantly. Yoo Joonghyuk
thought the voice sounded vaguely familiar. "What are you even doing? I swear I feel like dying
every day."
Kim Dokja muttered something and the other man responded with a loud, "I'm not being
overdramatic! I'm gone for a few days and you've made a mess of things."
"I did nothing for that sort," Kim Dokja's voice said.
"What's this then?" the other person snapped.
"Are you saying you want an out?" Kim Dokja said, his tone playful.
"I did not! When did I say that, you shameless—Argh! I know better than to make such a stupid
mistake."
"Good," Kim Dokja said, appearing in the dining room, someone at his tail.
"You better fix this mess then," the person said and Yoo Joonghyuk found an owner to the voice.
"I'm sorry about this," Kim Dokja said with an apologetic smile as a tall man with light hair and red
eyes walked in, a man Yoo Joonghyuk had seen in one picture and knew by name. He had also
seen a demonic rendition of the man in his dreams, but he wasn't going to visit that right now.
"He won't be staying long anyway," Kim Dokja said as the Bihyung marched into the dining room
not caring about anything else.
"Biyoo!" he said happily rushing towards his daughter. . .Right, Biyoo was his biological
daughter.
"Papa!" Biyoo said brightly and let herself be lifted off the chair into the man's arms as he cuddled
the girl.
"She was eating," Kim Dokja said, slightly miffed.
"Let me have this, Kim Dokja," Bihyung said squishing his cheek against Biyoo's. "My Biyoo
hasn't seen her Papa in ages."
"And is that my fault?" Kim Dokja scoffed. "Put her down."
Bihyung gave Biyoo a kiss on her forehead before putting her back in her chair and turning to Kim
Dokja.
"I'm taking her out tomorrow," he said and Yoo Joonghyuk was looking at Kim Dokja's reaction to
it. Kim Dokja looked slightly annoyed, and he expected him to put up a protest, but Kim Dokja let
it be.
"You better take care of her right," Kim Dokja said sternly.
"I know, I'm her papa," Bihyung waved it away. "Are you coming with us?"
Yoo Joonghyuk was aware of the various gazes on him. They had stopped eating and one glance at
Mia's worried face was enough for him to know that everyone else at the table shared similar
feelings.
But there was no reason to feel that way. Yoo Joonghyuk wasn't looking for anything more than
the relationship he currently had with Kim Dokja. What he did with the other man was none of his
business.
He couldn't help but remember that night when Kim Dokja had been on the phone with the man,
sounding almost desperate, asking him when he was coming over.
He had to remind himself that Biyoo was this man's biological daughter and Kim Dokja had just
adopted her. Whatever complications they had in their relationship wasn't something for Yoo
Joonghyuk to bother himself with.
"No," Kim Dokja said shortly, surprising Yoo Joonghyuk. "I've got stuff to do. You brought all that
I've asked for, haven't you?"
"You're such a jerk," Bihyung grumbled. "I'm not your manager, you know?"
"Might as well be," Kim Dokja shooed Bihyung out of the way took his seat beside Biyoo and
went back to feeding her. "Put my things on my desk. I'll join you after lunch."
Yoo Joonghyuk wasn't sure why he felt content when Biyoo seemed much more pleased to be with
Kim Dokja than the other man who called himself her papa.
"Do you really think lunch is important right now?" Bihyung said scathingly.
Kim Dokja looked up at him in annoyance. "Yes," was the quick, bland response Kim Dokja
gave. Yoo Joonghyuk noticed the smug grins that the kids were trying to hide.
"You are being rude right now," Kim Dokja was saying. "You gave no intimation that you would
be coming today."
"I didn't know my flight was going be delayed—"
"You still didn't tell me," Kim Dokja said.
"You don't tell me things either," Bihyung snorted.
"Why is that a problem? Am I required to do that? Besides, you haven't even introduced yourself to
the people here."
Yoo Joonghyuk had to reevaluate the relationship he had thought these two had. Kim Dokja didn't
talk to the man with even a single shred of affection, maybe there was some mutual respect seeing
as he was allowed to enter the house and talk back rudely to Kim Dokja.
"Everyone knows me already!" Bihyung cried and Kim Dokja stared at him, unimpressed.
Bihyung rolled his eyes and huffed, "I'm Bihyung. Biyoo's Papa and one of Kim Dokja's partners."
"Business only," he added.
"I don't know what I was thinking when I signed the contract with you," Bihyung groaned, looking
up at the ceiling in prayer. "I'm going to stay in your office. You better get there quick."
"You do that," Kim Dokja said nonchalantly and once the man was out of the room he smiled at
them softly.
"I'm sorry about that," he said again. "I didn't think he would be coming here today. He's a
business associate of mine," he told for Yoo Joonghyuk and Mia's sakes.
"And Biyoo's biological dad," he told Mia.
"But why doesn't she look like him at all?" Mia demanded. "Biyoo looks like you, Ahjussi."
"Biyoo's adopted," Yoosung whispered to Mia who didn't like that answer very much.
"She still looks like Ahjussi," Mia argued.
Kim Dokja laughed at this again, just as Yoo Joonghyuk remembered him doing at the dinner with
their mutual acquaintances.
"That's because her mother looks like me," Kim Dokja said. "I was surprised too, Biyoo just looked
so much like me. It doesn't matter though, how she looks. Does it, Biyoo?" he cooed.
"No," Biyoo sang, kicking her feet and grinning up at her father.
"That's right," Kim Dokja beamed back. "It doesn't matter."
Kim Dokja took his time, eating his lunch, and talking with everyone, as though there wasn't a
stranger in the house, waiting for him in his office.
"He's not seeing that guy," Kim Namwoon said finally when they cleared up the dining table and
put the dishes in the sink. The kids nodded along frantically.
"I don't care," Yoo Joonghyuk said shortly. He meant it, he didn't care. Besides, there were things
that the kids wouldn't know. Something must have probably happened in the past leading to
whatever relationship they had now.
What they did was none of Yoo Joonghyuk's business and he wasn't going to stress his mind about
it either.
"We have to tell him," Yoosung said with an air of having made an extremely difficult decision that
would affect their lives.
"About what?" said Gilyoung.
"The secret door," Yoosung said.
Yoo Joonghyuk was wiser than to expect a secret door that led to a hidden base, but Lee
Gilyoung's reaction could have fooled anyone. The boy had let out a loud gasp and glared at
Yoosung, offended.
"Are you crazy, you mutt?" he sneered.
"What?" Yoosung snapped back. "We can't let them fight again."
Yoo Joonghyuk hadn't realized that their 'fight', if that's what it was, had affected the kids so
much.
"That's true," Mia said ridding her hands of her plates and grabbing Yoo Joonghyuk. "They won't
get married if they fight a lot."
"What?" Kim Namwoon snorted, picking up Biyoo with an amused smirk. "You're getting married
now?"
"No," Yoo Joonghyuk said sharply. "Mia, I've told you. No one is getting married."
Mia frowned darkly at the floor. "See," she said. "It is because they fought."
"We still can't give away Hyung's secret," Gilyoung hissed.
Kim Namwoon was shaking with laughter he was trying to suppress. Yoo Joonghyuk deduced this
secret door wasn't something all that great of a deal as the kids were making it out to be.
"Our future is at stake here, Lee Gilyoung," Shin Yoosung said sternly. "Do you or do you not
want to become a family?"
Gilyoung faltered a little. "Hyung says it doesn't matter, you can be family regardless," the boy
said.
"Not if Oppa thinks Ahjussi is dating that weird guy," Mia argued. Kim Namwoon was hiccupping
now, and Biyoo was patting his head with a very confused look on her face.
They didn't do this in front of Kim Dokja. Why was only Yoo Joonghyuk subject to this torture?
Why did Kim Dokja get to go scot-free while he suffered this?
"Joonghyuk Ahjussi or that rude weirdo," Yoosung presented an ultimatum. "Choose now, Bug
boy."
"Why would I pick that bastard?" Gilyoung cried. Yoo Joonghyuk wasn't sure who he meant by
'bastard', but judging by the look of vindication on Yoosung's face, he would supposed it was
Bihyung in this context.
"That's why we have to show Joonghyuk Ahjussi the door," Yoosung pressed. "Come on, now."
And she marched towards Yoo Joonghyuk grabbed his other hand, and along with Mia, dragged
him away from the kitchen sink and out. Gilyoung followed them reluctantly and as they left the
kitchen, Kim Namwoon was howling with laughter he had failed to contain.
They went down the corridor and for a second Yoo Joonghyuk thought the kids were going to take
him to Kim Dokja's office, but they walked past the closed door to the one next to it.
Yoosung opened the door, her other hand still holding Yoo Joonghyuk as though he would leave if
she let go and gave him the chance.
It was a bedroom. A very empty-seeming bedroom, there was nothing on the bedside chest of
drawers, and the top of the table at the vanity mirror was clean as well. The bed looked like it
hadn't been slept in either, the sheets folded up neatly, with pillows arranged at the top. The bed
was large, but the room was smaller than Yoo Joonghyuk's own guest room. He would even say
that it was smaller than the kids' rooms.
Kim Dokja's bedroom, it came to him immediately.
This was the secret door they wanted to show him?
Even as the girls pulled him inside the room that he felt very strange entering, Yoo Joonghyuk
didn't know what to do with the information that his room was right next to Kim Dokja's. Yoo
Joonghyuk had lived in the house for almost a week, but he hadn't known where Kim Dokja's room
was until now. And it was right next to his.
The secret door the kids wanted to show was something else. There were two doors, one on each
side of the room and the kids led him to the one opposite the large mirror.
As they neared the door, they could hear voices. Kim Dokja's office was soundproofed, and
nothing could be heard outside if the doors were closed. But it would seem that it didn't apply to
the room adjacent to it.
The kids pressed their fingers to their lips asking him to be quiet and they crept towards the door
and pressed their ears against it.
Yoo Joonghyuk held back a sigh. What were they doing?
This was a very horrible look. If they got caught, the kids would be fine, because they were kids
and they were playing around. But Yoo Joonghyuk was an adult. He had just trespassed into
someone's room without their permission and was now eavesdropping on what could possibly be
an important discussion.
Yoo Joonghyuk would have gathered the kids, taken them out to the living room, sat them down
and lectured them about the importance of respecting other's privacy, but his plan was put on hold
when he heard his name being mentioned.
"Was that Yoo Joonghyuk out there?" Bihyung was asking. "The Yoo Joonghyuk?"
Right, he should have known better than to trust whatever Kim Dokja said about relationships.
That man had a very faulty understanding of things like that.
"Don't bother trying to poach him," Kim Dokja said, a reply that made no sense.
"Ah, we've tried before," Bihyung drawled. "It's never worked. Affiliation is the best we can do. Of
course, you'd know that. . .You have such a sinister smile on your face right now. It's terrifying."
They heard Bihyung sigh loudly.
"What are you even trying to do?"
"World domination."
Yoo Joonghyuk could see why Kim Namwoon sort of looked up to Kim Dokja.
Bihyung groaned in frustration.
"I'm going to cry, seriously," the man complained. "Why do you overwork me like this?"
"How am I overworking you?" Kim Dokja said blithely. "You've got just the right amount of work
for your position."
"You are a despicable bastard," said Bihyung. "My life's been ruined after you tricked me into
working for you."
"I don't hear this complaining when you keep getting promoted," Kim Dokja said and Bihyung
grumbled quietly. They heard a chair creak and it was followed by footsteps moving around the
room.
"I said I'll put you at the top," said Kim Dokja. "All you have to do is listen to me. What's the issue
here? . . .Don't you think you are being a little bit too favourable to Asgard?"
"How do you know that?" Bihyung cried. ". . .You know what, I don't even know why I'm
surprised anymore. God damn it. Don't go do anything stupid, Kim Dokja."
"Stop worrying," said Kim Dokja and Yoo Joonghyuk only belated and realised that his voice was
getting louder.
"I never fail."
His confidence was admirable, really, and he would have liked to stay and listen to more, but Yoo
Joonghyuk was going to get caught at this rate.
There was a sharp knock on the other side of the door, making the kids jump. The rooms were
connected, of course.
"I'm going to open the door now," Kim Dokja called to them and even as the kids scrambled, trying
to find excuses, the door opened.
Kim Dokja's eyes went wide when he saw Yoo Joonghyuk.
Obviously! No one was expecting a grown man to be playing around with kids like that.
"What are you lot doing here?" Kim Dokja said, looking away from Yoo Joonghyuk to the kids
who had taken to clinging to Yoo Joonghyuk's legs now, nervous about getting scolded for
disturbing Kim Dokja.
"Did we disturb you, Ahjussi?" Mia said bravely.
"It was all Yoosung's fault!" Gilyoung cried. "I told them not to."
Yoosung opened her mouth indignantly, appalled that Gilyoung would snitch on her like that.
"I wasn't all that busy," Kim Dokja smiled kindly. "It's alright. You can come in if you want."
And he left the door wide open, leaving the others slack-jawed.
"We can?" Yoosung said tentatively.
"Of course, you can," said Kim Dokja, walking back to his desk. He sat down in his chair and
wheeled it forward. He placed his elbow on the table and rested his chin on his palm, watching
them walk into his office slowly.
Yoo Joonghyuk would have liked to leave. He really would have, but Mia and Yoosung were
gripping onto his pants so tightly, dragging him along. How did it come to this?
"You know, my office isn't like that one room in the Beauty and the Beast," Kim Dokja said. "The
restricted one with the rose. You can always just come in. Just knock or let me know in case I'm on
a call or something."
Bihyung looked slightly unnerved by the sudden audience they had and found it difficult to
continue the conversation with three excited kids exploring Kim Dokja's office.
"Where are they hosting it this time?" Kim Dokja said, saving Bihyung the trouble.
"How do you. . .Seriously? Do you have an informant on the inside?" Bihyung said, rubbing his
forehead with his hand.
"You are my informant," said Kim Dokja, eyes on his laptop. Yoosung moved towards him and he
reached out his hand to pat her head immediately.
"I didn't tell you about that!"
"You didn't have to?" said Kim Dokja. "It was obvious."
Bihyung found this statement very offensive. Yoo Joonghyuk could understand the sentiments.
Kim Dokja sounded awfully smug and Yoo Joonghyuk would have liked to punch him too had that
tone been directed towards him. But since it was not him and Bihyung on the receiving end, he
found it amusing.
"Ahjussi, which language is this?" Mia asked, now standing near the huge bookshelf built into the
wall behind Kim Dokja's desk.
"Which one?" Kim Dokja said, wheeling his chair around to look at the book Mia was pointing at.
He had to squint a bit to see it from where he was sitting, and then he finally said, "Japanese."
"Jihye unnie was right," Mia gasped. "You are with the Japanese Mafia!"
"I'm not. I just know the language." Kim Dokja said, tired. He seemed to have faced this accusation
multiple times before. It was interesting, Kim Dokja and the mafia. . .Yoo Joonghyuk still didn't
know what he did. He was almost seventy per cent certain that it involved something illegal.
"Why?" asked Mia.
"I lived in Japan for a while when I was young, so I learnt the language," Kim Dokja told her
patiently.
Yoo Joonghyuk decided to walk over to Mia just because he had nothing better to do and it looked
really awkward, standing at one spot near the door and not moving at all.
He picked Mia so that she could see the book titles better. He could read them now as well.
"Have you read all these books, Hyung?" Gilyoung said, shoving Yoosung out of the way to stand
near Kim Dokja. It escalated into a little scuffle, both kids trying to fight each other for the best
spot until Kim Dokja broke it up gently by gesturing at Gilyoung to go over to the other side of his
chair.
Kim Dokja gave no verbal response to the question, but Mia who was looking over Yoo
Joonghyuk's shoulder, said, almost dubiously, "Really?"
"Really," Kim Dokja said.

"All of it?"
"All of it."
"Which language is this?" Mia demanded pointing at some other book. Yoo Joonghyuk helped her
take it off the shelf. He glanced at Kim Dokja to see if he found it bothersome, but the man was
busy with whatever he was doing on his laptop.
Mia flipped open the page and even Yoo Joonghyuk was unsure as to which language that was.
"This one," she held the book up for Kim Dokja to read when he turned around and checked.
"Russian."
Russian?
"Why?" Yoo Joonghyuk was the one who asked the question this time. The word was out before he
could stop it. Kim Dokja stared at him, nonplussed.
Feeling his ears burn with embarrassment, Yoo Joonghyuk phrased his question differently. "You
know Russian?"
"A bit," Kim Dokja turned away. "I got it for reading practice."
"A bit?" Bihyung said incredulously. "You had a long fight with that Iris girl and you say a bit?"
"It was not a fight. . .I still have a lot to learn," Kim Dokja insisted.
"Hyung, hyung, how many languages do you know?" Gilyoung asked and Kim Dokja shrugged.
"Not sure," he muttered.
How the hell was someone not sure of how many languages they knew?
"I'm not very good at a few," said Kim Dokja. "I'm still learning, and speaking can be a bit difficult
sometimes. And I don't understand a few words."
"But how many do you know?" Mia said, not allowing Kim Dokja to avoid answering.
Kim Dokja leaned back in his chair and took a deep breath. "Give me a second," he said and he had
to actually count the languages he spoke on his hand.
"Eight," he said finally.
"Really?"
"Really...I'm still not good at a few. Like I said, I'm learning."
"Eight?" said Bihyung. "How? You're not counting the ones you're not fluent in?"
"The ones I'm still learning," Kim Dokja corrected. "I'm not fluent in a lot. I speak like a kid
sometimes."
"You're being hard on yourself," Bihyung waved it away, leaning on the desk.
Kim Dokja was someone who tended to put himself down as easily as breathing, Yoo Joonghyuk
realised. What a foolish man. He was so stupid for someone so smart.
"Where are they hosting it this time?" Kim Dokja said and it was a question that made no sense to
Yoo Joonghyuk. Even Bihyung took a few seconds to recover from the sudden switch of topics.
". . .Berlin, this time," he said.
"Expected," Kim Dokja said and though Yoo Joonghyuk had turned away, he could tell that the
man was pleased for some reason.
"Are you going?" asked Bihyung and at this, the kids started, looking up at Kim Dokja anxiously.
"I have to," said Kim Dokja. "It's a nice scenario, it would make for a nice story, don't you think?"
"You're going, Hyung?" Gilyoung asked. "When are you going?"
"Ahjussi," Yoosung cried. "But you're hurt.
Kim Dokja had to pat both their heads, one at a time, comforting them.
"I'm not going now," Kim Dokja reassured them. "And I won't be gone for long anyway. Hardly a
week. Don't worry."
"You can't go anywhere when you are hurt, Squid Ahjussi," Mia scolded Kim Dokja. "You'll make
my Oppa worried."
Kim Dokja's eyes darted towards Yoo Joonghyuk for the slightest moment, and then he went back
to grinning his stupid grin. "I won't, I won't," he said.
"You have an event next month, have you forgotten?" Bihyung said and Kim Dokja grimaced.
"You can't cancel that one."
"I know," Kim Dokja said. "I still have time.
"Are you going next month?" Gilyoung cried and Kim Dokja shook his head.
"It's in Seoul," he told them. "I'll leave in the evening and come back at night. Like those office
dinners I used to have."
The kids visibly relaxed at this.
"What about the wine-tasting thing?" Bihyung piped and it became obvious why the kids disliked
Bihyung, he only seemed to bring bad news.
"Not going." Kim Dokja said shortly, wheeling his chair around and getting up from his seat.
"It's important," Bihyung pressed on.
"And I'm injured," Kim Dokja raised his right hand. "My doctor's advised me to stay away from
the alcohol."
"You can't just skip it!" Bihyung snapped, following Kim Dokja as the man made his way out of
the office, the kids by his side. Mia wiggled out of Yoo Joonghyuk's hold and hurried after them,
leaving Yoo Joonghyuk no choice but to do the same.
"At least send your secretary."

"I don't have a secretary."
"That's why I'm asking you to keep one, damn it! You need to have a representative."
"Not required."
"Not required, my ass! Oh, for god's sake, you bastard—"
"Stop swearing," Kim Dokja snapped. Then he looked at Yoo Joonghyuk and in a much more nicer
tone said, "You can leave that door open. It doesn't matter."
Did anything matter to this guy? Why was everything not important or something that didn't matter
when it came to him? Dumbass.
Yoo Joonghyuk walked back into the room, closed the 'secret door' and turned back to see an
exasperated look on Kim Dokja's face. He ignored it. On his way out of the office, Yoo Joonghyuk
didn't forget to close that door either.
"Where are you taking Biyoo tomorrow?" Kim Dokja asked Bihyung with a sigh.
"Just the park, and around," Bihyung said. "I'll send pictures and hourly updates."
"Good," Kim Dokja nodded and Bihyung said something along the lines of "Paranoid jerk".
It was as Kim Dokja had said, Bihyung did not stay for long. He left within an hour or so, making
sure to warn Kim Dokja to not do anything ridiculous while he was away again. Kim Dokja was
dismissive about the whole thing.
"You can just put them in the dishwasher," Kim Dokja told Yoo Joonghyuk when he got back to
the dirty dishes in the sink. "We can run it more than once a day, it's not an issue."
"Or," he continued. "If you are that particular about the electric bills and water bills, you can just
leave them there. The housekeeper should be coming soon anyway. He'll help out with that and
you can go take some rest. Maybe some shut-eye."
Yoo Joonghyuk ignored him and got to scrubbing. Kim Dokja sighed exasperatedly and moved to
get some coffee.
"You just had lunch," Yoo Joonghyuk said.
"A few hours ago," Kim Dokja waved it away. "And I ate too much, I'm feeling drowsy."
"Then get some shut-eye," Yoo Joonghyuk threw his words back at him and relished when Kim
Dokja scowled at his empty coffee mug in lieu of answering.
Yoo Joonghyuk washed the dishes and Kim Dokja stood a few feet away, leaning against the
counter and waiting for the light on the coffee machine to turn green.
Kim Dokja started talking first, much to his surprise.
"I should tell you about Bihyung," he said. "And the whole thing with Biyoo."
Yoo Joonghyuk wanted to tell him that there was no need, but Kim Dokja almost never started
talking about important things first, so he let him continue.
"Everyone knows, really. You should too," said Kim Dokja. "He's an associate of mine. We met a
few years back and we sort of have a contract. . .Well, anyway, we had a situation, got into some
trouble...Funny story actually, Han Sooyoung thought it was hilarious, but yeah..."
Kim Dokja pushed his mug under the nozzle and let the liquid fall into it, the noise filling the air,
joining the sound of running water and the clacking of ceramic and steel.
"I sort of convinced him to pose as a sperm donor for a bit."
Yoo Joonghyuk blinked. That story took a turn he wasn't expecting at all.
Kim Dokja seemed to notice it because he was smirking widely as well.
"Yeah," he shrugged. "He ended up having to do it for real. And a month later, he gets informed
that he's going to sort of be a father. . .The couple who had the baby ended up having some issues
and divorced, I'm not sure about all the details, but the mother said she didn't really want the child
anymore. Bihyung didn't want to give his daughter away to any more strangers, he's strangely
emotional like that."
"So he ended up taking her in," Kim Dokja said with a soft sigh. "And I babysat Biyoo, because
Bihyung was pretty busy and at that time, I wanted something to distract me from a lot of things. I
was also partially responsible for this since I forced him to do all this in the first place."
"Then I ended up getting attached. Biyoo is just lovely like that, isn't she?"
"She is," Yoo Joonghyuk had to admit and Kim Dokja smiled widely. One of his genuine smiles.
"I even got to name her," Kim Dokja said brightly. "Bihyung didn't have a lot of ideas and I
suggested Biyoo. . .A while later, I just went ahead with the adoption. It worked better that way."
Kim Dokja brought out the sugar, put in one teaspoon as usual and stirred.
"And that's the story," he finished.
"I know what people usually think," Kim Dokja continued, walking across the kitchen and getting
some ice. "But that's not what it is. I've never been involved with Bihyung in that way. I'd much
rather kill myself, really."
Yoo Joonghyuk focused on washing the spoons clean.
Kim Dokja raised the mug to his lips, and with the mug hiding his mouth, muttered, "I don't have
commitment issues."
The spoon slipped from his hands and fell with a clatter into the sink. Yoo Joonghyuk blamed the
soap on his hands, picked it up and went back to scrubbing.
"Are you sure about that?" he managed to say.
"Oh, screw you, man," Kim Dokja said dejectedly.
He might have overreacted that night, Yoo Joonghyuk reluctantly admitted to himself. He really
didn't know this part of the story and he hadn't let Kim Dokja explain either. In that setting, 'Sort of
friends' did explain their relationship best.
"Star Stream," Yoo Joonghyuk said instead, remembering something from a while back. "Bihyung
works for Star Stream, doesn't he?"
"Yeah," Kim Dokja nodded.
"And you do too?"
"Nope," Kim Dokja said.
"Why do you get Star Stream employees to run your errands sometimes?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked
and Kim Dokja looked up from his coffee, confused.
"I don't," he said.
"You used to send that man, Youngki or something to pick the kids up from school," Yoo
Joonghyuk reminded him and Kim Dokja let out a soft "Oh, that."
"That's when I ask Bihyung for a favour but he gets caught up in something else and has to send
someone else," Kim Dokja explained. "Most Star Stream employees as assholes, but Bihyung and
Youngki make the cut. Don't worry."
"What is your deal with Bihyung if you don't work for Star Stream?" Yoo Joonghyuk said,
curious.
"Sort of like a double agent thing," Kim Dokja shrugged. "They are big, no? Star Stream? It sort of
interferes with my work, so I need an insider sometimes."
"What do you do?" Yoo Joonghyuk rid his hands of soap under the water and turned the tap off,
wiping his hands dry on the apron around his waist.
"This and that," was Kim Dokja's answer and had he been closer, Yoo Joonghyuk would have
grabbed the man and given him two knocks on the head. Why the fuck could no one give him an
explanation as to what the fuck Kim Dokja actually did?
No, it's alright, Yoo Joonghyuk calmed himself down. He didn't have to know. It wasn't that
important. Kim Dokja could do anything, it didn't concern Yoo Joonghyuk.
And if Kim Dokja somehow manages to land his ass in jail, Yoo Joonghyuk would be let off
because he was unaware of any of the crimes the sleazy rat had committed and could take custody
of the kids and raise them properly.
"Are you sure you are not going for that wine tasting he was talking about?" Yoo Joonghyuk said.
"He said it was important."
"It's not that important," Kim Dokja said, unbothered. "I can afford to miss it. It's just some speed
dating thing for singles my mother wanted me to go to."
"Hey, don't be judgy!" Kim Dokja snapped when Yoo Joonghyuk raised his eyebrows. Yoo
Joonghyuk was actually surprised, he didn't know it had come off as being judgemental. He wasn't
complaining though.
"People around me seem to think that once I start dating someone all my problems will be solved,"
Kim Dokja said, slightly sullen. "I've got no interest in it, though."
"Why did Bihyung say it's important then?" asked Yoo Joonghyuk.
"Because he's an idiot," Kim Dokja huffed. "I just thought it would be advantageous to make a
connection with the host. It's not necessary though. I can always meet them later, over an arranged
meeting."
Yoo Joonghyuk hesitated, then slowly, he said, "If you have too much work, you should listen to
them and get an assistant. That woman you were talking to on the phone the other day."
Kim Dokja shook it away immediately.
"It's not that bad," he said. "I can manage. And the stuff I do can't exactly be delegated to someone,
it's better if I do it myself."
Yoo Joonghyuk shot him a deadpanned glare. "That is not the point of keeping an assistant," he
said.
"I don't need one," Kim Dokja groaned, putting his mug down and stretching his hand, his elbow
making a loud crack. It was concerning how he acted like this was normal and went back to his
coffee without sparing it a single thought.
"Get yourself an assistant, Kim Dokja," Yoo Joonghyuk chided.
"Why're you being so persistent?" Kim Dokja smirked. "Why? Do you want to be my assistant?"
"Do you want to die?" Yoo Joonghyuk said, clenching his fist. He could feel a muscle jump in his
jaw, he really would have socked that bastard in the face had he been a bit closer.
Even Kim Dokja seemed to know this and wisely kept his distance from Yoo Joonghyuk.
"I'm just kidding," the bastard chuckled. "Just kidding."

Chapter 36
Chapter Notes
Biyoo was sleeping when Bihyung returned with her in the evening. Kim Dokja was very pissed at
the man.
"What the fuck were you thinking, letting her have three whole icecreams, you bastard?" he hissed
at the man in the kitchen, away from the living room where the children were sitting.
"She was just having fun," Bihyung said innocently. "And she said she wanted it."
"That's no reason for you to just give it to her," Kim Dokja snapped. "She could get sick! If she
gets sick, I swear, you're dead meat."
Yoo Joonghyuk felt oddly satisfied. Now Kim Dokja knew what it was like to be in his position,
and how he had felt all those times Mia would come up to him with an absurd request that Kim
Dokja would fulfil without thinking much.
Yoo Joonghyuk basked in Kim Dokja's suffering. It was nice.
"You know she doesn't wake up easily," Kim Dokja scolded. "Why did you let her sleep without
giving her dinner first?"
"She was tired!" Bihyung argued.
"Tired, my ass. You let her have all that sugar, of course, she's drowsy and of course, she'll want to
sleep. You had one job!"
"I did my job," Bihyung huffed. "Biyoo had fun. I completed my job wonderfully. The rest is your
problem."
"Come here," Kim Dokja said, taking a step forward threateningly, his left hand balled into a fist.
"You seem eager to get beat up like Paul."
There was a flash of genuine fear in Bihyung's eyes as he moved as far away from Kim Dokja as
possible.
Yoo Joonghyuk would have loved to watch some action in this drama, but his curiosity won out.
"What?" he said, getting Kim Dokja's attention and Bihyung let out an audible sigh of relief.
"What?" Kim Dokja said, confused.
"You beat someone up?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked and Kim Dokja looked away sheepishly.
"The bastard deserved it," the man said, shrugging. "He tried kidnapping Biyoo, I was rescuing
her."
"Yeah, right," Bihyung chimed. "This guy here held that asshole down and beat him black and
blue, even though he was begging for mercy. Paul was an asshole, mind you, no one had any
complaints seeing him almost shit his pants. Then he got Paul fired, publically humiliated and
thrown away to rot. He's ruthless."
"I was being reasonable," Kim Dokja said indignantly. "He was trying to hurt Biyoo. Was I just
supposed to sit there and let it happen?"
"Keep telling yourself that," Bihyung scoffed. He scurried out of the kitchen when Kim Dokja's lips
twitched into a dangerous smile.
"Check your mail," Bihyung called from outside the kitchen. "They've confirmed the date."
Kim Dokja took his phone out immediately.
"You guys will be happy, won't you? You and your friends," Bihyung said, watching Kim Dokja
scroll through an email on his phone. "You get to meet each other again."
"Is this officially released?" Kim Dokja asked, eyes still on his phone.
"No," Bihyung rolled his eyes. "Why would I send it to you then? They should announce it in a few
weeks."
"By the way," the man said, eyeing Kim Dokja's right hand. "Have you told them about your
broken hand? Do you want me to do it for you?"
"Don't get too greedy," Kim Dokja said casually. "I'm not going to be your excuse to contact them."
"Eh, come on, we are partners, are we not?" Bihyung drawled. "Help me out here, you know?"
"Are you saying you want to switch lanes?" Kim Dokja looked up from his phone.
"What nonsense are you saying?" Bihyung snorted. "I pledged my loyalty to you the day you let
me backhand Dokgak into next week. But it won't hurt to have some sweet connections on the
side. They have a soft spot for you, and since I'm your partner, they'll treat me nicely too."
Kim Dokja kicked Bihyung out for that.
Kim Dokja returned to the dining table, sulking after this third failed attempt to wake sleeping
Biyoo up.
"Just wait for her to wake up on her own," Kim Namwoon rolled his eyes. "Why do you fuss so
much, man? Are you going to break out into hives if you don't?"
"Why do you crush after Jihye so much, man? Are you going to break out into hives if you don't?"
Kim Dokja's sharp retort was out without missing a beat and Yoo Joonghyuk had to focus hard to
keep his expression neutral.
They heard a soft sound from outside the room and then everyone received a text from Han
Donghoon reading 'Sorry'. The kids sniggered.
Kim Namwoon's stunned expression turned into fury.
"I can't believe you people!" he yelled. "I'll set fire to this place one day, I swear. You stinky jerks.
How dare you?"
When Kim Namwoon's shouts reached peak agitation, Yoo Joonghyuk stepped in and changed the
subject to distract the kids who were eager to egg Kim Namwoon on.
"When are you leaving?"
"Hmm?"
"The thing Bihyung was talking about, when are you leaving?" Yoo Joonghyuk said. It did the job.
The kids rounded on Kim Dokja.
"You're leaving again, Squid Ahjussi?" Mia said waspishly and it was very entertaining to see Kim
Dokja's eyebrows twitch every time he was called a squid.
"When? Will you be gone for long, Hyung?" Gilyoung said.
"Ahjussi, you shouldn't go when you are hurt though," said Yoosung. "I'm telling Sooyoung Unnie.
And Heewon Unnie too."
Yoo Joonghyuk understood the appeal of causing a mess and slinking away from the
responsibility, leaving it all for someone else to fix. It was very amusing to watch Kim Dokja try to
resolve everyone's issues and reassure them.
"It's not until September," he said. "I still have a lot of time. Don't worry. I won't be hurt then, even
the cast will be gone."
"How long? Will you be going with Angel Unnie again?" Yoosung asked.
Yoo Joonghyuk's teeth sank a bit too hard into a soft piece of potato causing his teeth to knock into
each other rather painfully. No one noticed and he pretended that nothing had happened as well.
"We have nothing planned yet," Kim Dokja told them. "I don't think they even know about it. And
like I said, it's only in September. In any case, I won't take longer than two weeks."
"Are you actually friends with that Angel unnie?" was Mia's question.
"Ah...yes," Kim Dokja said, slightly taken aback by it.
"Hyung talks to them often," Gilyoung said, frowning at Mia because she had dared to doubt Kim
Dokja. "And they go on trips as well."
"She's out of his league," Kim Namwoon sneered, bitter about the jibe at him. "She probably
thinks you are a rat and thinks of you as a cute pet."
Kim Dokja paid no mind to it.
"Did you tell them about your injury?" Yoo Joonghyuk said, recollecting what Bihyung had said a
while back.
"Not yet," Kim Dokja replied. "It isn't all that important—"
"It is!" the kids cried, doing Yoo Joonghyuk's job of trying to convince this dense idiot. If they
were friends, Yoo Joonghyuk thought they ought to know.
"Ahjussi, you should tell them," Yoosung said. "You know how that Unnie gets."
"That cool hyung might even visit us," said Gilyoung. "He always sends you nice stuff."
Maybe he shouldn't have tried stepping into domains that didn't belong to him, Yoo Joonghyuk
thought bitterly.
"I would have wanted to know if I was your friend, Ahjussi," Mia said, guilt-tripping Kim Dokja.
"I'd be pretty hurt if I never knew."
With the kids' steady stream of comments that lasted for about ten minutes, Kim Dokja finally
gave in and picked his phone up. He typed out a message and sent it. Then he snapped a picture of
his injured hand as an afterthought and sent that too.
"There, I told them," Kim Dokja said, locking his phone and putting it down.
Dinner proceeded as it usually did for about fifteen minutes before it was disturbed by a loud ding
from Kim Dokja's phone. That was followed by another and then another.
The texts were pouring in at an alarming rate, it was just a constant chime and Kim Dokja's phone
was vibrating so much that he had to pick it up before it fell off the table.
Kim Dokja sighed softly, unlocked his phone, found the chat and typed out a message.
A few seconds after it was sent, the texts stopped coming and voice calls took their place.
Kim Dokja got up from his chair with resignation, answering the call and putting it to his ear.
"Hello," he said in English and they could hear a woman's loud, frantic voice from the other end of
the phone.
"I'm fine, Uriel," Kim Dokja said, walking away from the table. "No, I'm not lying. I really am fine
—That is not required—It was a freak accident—Just a few broken bones—I did not mean that, no
—No need to do that!—I'm fine. Totally—It should heal soon. Two months or so—That's what the
doctor said—We have good doctors here, Uriel—No, please, don't do that—"
Kim Dokja was away from the table for more than half an hour. Everyone was done with their food
and sat at the table with their empty plates, waiting for Kim Dokja to talk to whoever he was
talking to on the phone. They had heard him switch at least three languages all this while,
reassuring his friends that he was alright and that he would be fine.
Kim Dokja's reluctance to let them know started to make sense.
"Ah, why are you all still sitting here?" he cried when he finally managed to drag his feet back into
the dining room and saw all of them sitting with their empty plates and bowls.
"Go, go, you can go put them for washing."
"Without you?" Yoosung said and Kim Dokja's mouth fell open, as though he hadn't considered
that they would be waiting for him.
Kim Namwoon scoffed loudly and muttered something under his breath. Even though Yoo
Joonghyuk wasn't sure what he had said, he shared the sentiment.
Kim Dokja was a fucking idiot. Did he really not realise? How was he so clueless about something
so obvious? And if he was truly this dense, how was he not a walking disaster set loose into the
world? Didn't he need constant supervision? It made sense, how everyone was always fussing over
him. They need to, or he would just end up dead in a ditch somewhere with his cluelessness and no
one would know.
"Finish eating first," Yoo Joonghyuk told him sharply and Kim Dokja hurried into his chair.
"We were waiting for you, Hyung," Gilyoung said kindly.
"You didn't have to," Kim Dokja picked up his spoon.
"But we did," Mia said, crossing her arms and glaring at Kim Dokja. "Now eat fast, Ahjussi."
Kim Dokja ate as fast as he could with his left hand, and every time he tried to tell them to go clean
up without him, they shut him down immediately. The absolutely confuddled expression Kim
Dokja had on his face every time they refused to do as he said was so irritating. Yoo Joonghyuk
wanted to knock some awareness into that stupid head of his.
Kim Dokja was overpowered by everyone else and left from decorating the house for Lee
Gilyoung's birthday.
"If you can't use a party popper, then you can't decorate with us," was the rule Mia enforced with
the only exception being Biyoo because she liked her. There wasn't much Biyoo could do anyway.
Kim Dokja stayed with them, watching them put up the streamers and blow up balloons for a
while, and then he left for his office, shutting himself in there. Yoo Joonghyuk only called him out
for dinner.
They had started decorating in the evening, and even Gilyoung himself helped out saying that
Yoosung was going to muck it all up if he let her do it, but it was obvious that the boy was just
excited about the whole deal.
"What did you get Gilyoung?" Mia asked Yoosung in a whisper.
"Dog poop," Yoosung said without missing a beat as she held out another green balloon for Yoo
Joonghyuk to take and if Yoo Joonghyuk smirked, only Mia noticed and told no one.
They were going out the next morning, starting Gilyoung's birthday celebration by visiting the
museum, and since Mia was going along with them, so was Yoo Joonghyuk.
They invited Kim Namwoon, but he said he was going to stream on his channel. Han Donghoon
said he'd much rather stay home as well. They could have left Biyoo with Bihyung, but the kids,
mainly Yoosung and Mia wanted her to come along with them and Gilyoung didn't mind.
Kim Dokja actually could order delivery services from Elysium. Yoo Joonghyuk had watched the
man make a short call and get the job done just like that. He really shouldn't be surprised at this, if
he thought about everything else that he had seen so far.
Yoo Joonghyuk woke up much earlier than usual, and Kim Dokja was there on the sofa as usual.
When did this idiot usually wake up? Yoo Joonghyuk didn't bother asking and went to the kitchen.
He had to make both breakfast and lunch, then pack it because they were going out.
"Why are you making so much food?" Kim Dokja said, some half an hour later. He noticed the
lunch boxes Yoo Joonghyuk had placed on top of the microwave oven. "Did you guys plan a
picnic?"
"You know, we could always just eat outside," Kim Dokja said.
"I don't eat food made by others," Yoo Joonghyuk said and Kim Dokja stared at him.
"What? Why?"
"It's not delicious."
Kim Dokja's mouth fell open and Yoo Joonghyuk saw a lot of emotions flash through his face in
the span of seconds, and he finally settled on a passive look of reluctant agreement.
"Suppose it makes sense after eating your cooking," Kim Dokja sighed. "You really didn't have to
make for all of us though."
What the hell was that supposed to mean? He was not heartless, what kind of asshole did Kim
Dokja think Yoo Joonghyuk was?
"I'm sorry about this, Yoo Joonghyuk," Kim Dokja said, frowning. "Let me know if there is any
way I can help you out."
Yoo Joonghyuk shoved Kim Dokja out of the kitchen to let him work in peace, unbothered by
whatever nonsense the idiot man was going to say.
The museum was bustling with people bringing their families to visit the place, there were school
students as well, brought to for an educational excursion on the fine Saturday.
Unbeknownst to Kim Dokja, they had formed teams. Yoo Joonghyuk and Gilyoung were on a
team, while Mia and Yoosung had joined hands. That by default paired up Kim Dokja with Biyoo,
but that wasn't of particular importance.
Yoo Joonghyuk and Lee Gilyoung were on the team that did not want to set Yoo Joonghyuk up
with Kim Dokja, making them end up alone in a coincidental way and spend the rest of the day
together. Shin Yoosung and Yoo Mia wanted to do just that.
Their plan wasn't even all that good. They wanted to sneak off and stay away from the adults to
give them alone time. It's because they were kids that they didn't think of the panic the adults
would go through if the kids went missing. There's no way all that stress would be a date.
Yoo Joonghyuk took Biyoo from Kim Dokja's hands the second they got out of the car at the
museum parking. Lee Gilyoung grabbed onto Kim Dokja's uninjured hand and stayed close,
making sure to stick his tongue out at the girls before they left for the entrance.
Kim Dokja's obliviousness really came in handy, because he saw nothing wrong with this. He just
thought that Lee Gilyoung was being as cute as always and that Yoo Joonghyuk was sticking with
the group particularly close because he wanted to keep an eye on the kids, leaving Kim Dokja free
to give more attention to the birthday boy.
The girls were sullen. Oh, they were so very upset. Shin Yoosung took every possible dig at any
insect or dinosaur Lee Gilyoung mentioned and Yoo Mia backed her up with full conviction even
though Yoo Joonghyuk was pretty sure she had no idea what she was talking about.
Lee Gilyoung managed to detach from Kim Dokja's side for a second just to hiss, "Hyung's still
holding only my hand," before trotting back to Kim Dokja. Yoosung turned a bright scarlet in the
face due to anger when Kim Dokja pet Gilyoung's head and the boy turned his head to grin smugly
at them before talking to Kim Dokja.
Kids were really hard to handle, Yoo Joonghyuk thought with resignation. And they were only
reaching their teen years. Yoo Joonghyuk had seen both Kim Namwoon and Lee Jihye since their
middle school years and honestly, he was terrified of what was to come when these three grow up.
And it wasn't that far of a future either, it was just a few years now.
The dinosaur-shaped chewable sweet on a stick was Biyoo's favourite and she left him alone once
she got her hands on that. Of course, in front of her father, she was the sweetest angel ever, but the
second Kim Dokja turned his attention to Gilyoung, she zeroed in on Yoo Joonghyuk and pestered
him until he gave in.
All in all, Yoo Joonghyuk learnt a lot about dinosaurs that day and Lee Gilyoung was the happiest
boy on earth. Yoosung was fuming and Mia was miffed that her plan had failed because her friends
had not put in the effort. Thankfully, Yoo Joonghyuk could hand over Biyoo as they sat in the car.
She had finished her sweet and he did not know what he would do if he had to deal with that again.
Lee Gilyoung had the smugest, snarkiest grin on his face on the drive back home. It painted a very
obvious picture when paired with Yoosung's absolutely pissed face.
It was so obvious that once they reached home, Kim Dokja had to take Yoosung aside and ask her
what was wrong, which made the girl burst into tears and he had to comfort her. Yoo Joonghyuk
wisely ushered Gilyoung into the house, luring him with cake before he could spot Kim Dokja
giving Yoosung the biggest hug.
Kim Dokja was put on time out again, as they finished putting up the last few bits of decoration up.
Gilyoung plastered the new stickers he had brought from the museum in various places in his
room. Yoosung brought out the candles, Mia helped with the plates, spoons and forks for all the
guests who were to arrive. Biyoo popped three balloons and giggled happily.
Mia's birthday parties were never this much trouble. But then again, the maximum number of
people who celebrated her birthday was three. Herself, Yoo Joonghyuk, and either his master, Kim
Dokja for a year, and Lee Seolhwa for another, and the rest were all with just Yoo Joonghyuk.
He watched Mia, wondering if she felt envious of the boy somehow. Mia was bustling around,
laughing at something Yoosung said, complaining about how she should make Biyoo burst
balloons and ruin Bug Boy's sleep and how the boy would poop his pants.
"Don't do that, please, Yoosung-ah," Kim Dokja who had been listening said wearily.
"Okay, Ahjussi," Yoosung said immediately. But the dark look in her eyes told Yoo Joonghyuk
otherwise. She would probably find another way to make Bug Boy poop his pants. Yoo Joonghyuk
wouldn't put it past her.
Lee Jihye was the first one to arrive. Then barged in Han Sooyoung and after her came Lee
Hyunsung with Jung Heewon. Lee Gilyoung really liked muscles, Yoo Joonghyuk noted because
the first thing the boy had told Lee Hyunsung was, "Hyung, I think your muscles are awesome",
making the man slightly flustered and rather confident for the rest of the evening.
When Yoo Sangah arrived, Yoosung was incredibly happy and this made Mia mad because, sure,
Yoosung wanted to be family, but she preferred Sangah Unnie just a bit more than she liked
Joonghyuk Ahjussi.
"Sangah Unnie makes Ahjussi happy," Yoosung said guiltily when Mia confronted her. "And
Gilyoung and Ahjussi said it doesn't matter if you aren't family on paper."
"Are you breaking our alliance because of this then?" Mia demanded, hands on her hip, glaring at
her friend.
"No!" Yoosung cried. "Joonghyuk Ahjussi said he didn't like Ahjussi anyway."
"Oppa's lying!" Mia said and Yoo Joonghyuk was rather offended.
He wasn't lying. His own sister didn't trust him. That was a very shocking thing for him to deal
with, especially after just how tiring the day had been. Yoosung had a point though, Kim Dokja did
brighten up with Yoo Sangah walked in.
Even now, they were in a corner, talking nonstop. It had been going on for a while now, even Han
Sooyoung was starting to grumble at the lack of attention from her friend.
The rest of the party went without a hitch. Kim Dokja found Yoo Joonghyuk in the kitchen again
just to say "Sorry about all this". . .Bastard. If he was really sorry about this, then he should stop
flirting with Yoo Sangah and pick up the plates and arrange them on the dining table. Everyone
wanted to eat the cake already.
"I'm going to cry," Lee Jihye gasped out, putting her chopsticks down slowly. "Has Kim Namwoon
been eating this all this time?"
"Master," she cried. "Please prepare food for me at my funeral. That's my dying wish. That's it
really. I can die now. There is nothing I need from this world anymore."
"It is really delicious, Yoo Joonghyuk-ssi," Yoo Sangah said, her eyes shining.
"I told you," both Kim Dokja and Han Sooyoung said in unison, how they managed to sound so
smug when they weren't the ones who had prepared the food was beyond understanding.
"My tastebuds are never going to be the same again," Jung Heewon said. "Is this what heaven
tastes like?"
"Oppa can bake too," Mia said proudly. "But he was busy today so he couldn't make a cake."
"Is there anything you can't do, master?" Lee Jihye said joyously, shovelling food into her mouth.
Han Sooyoung sniggered and Yoo Joonghyuk figured out what it was that she found so fucking
funny. He wanted to chuck something at her head, but the kids were here and so were their guests.
"Why's your cast so boring?" Han Sooyoung luckily didn't test his patience much and switched to
pestering Kim Dokja instead.
"What?"
"Yeah, Ahjussi, no decorations?" Lee Jihye said. "I thought everyone would have drawn something
on it already."
Kim Dokja looked down at the white plaster on his hand.
"You can if you want to," he shrugged. "I don't think it matters."
"You're so done, you piece of shi...you know what I mean," Kim Namwoon said darkly. "You are
so done once I get my hands on that."
Yoo Joonghyuk didn't know what obscene art Kim Namwoon had in mind, but the boy was good
at drawing and he would probably make a nice realistic, graphic drawing on Kim Dokja's cast.
"You can try," Kim Dokja said nonchalantly.
"You're on, grasshopper," Kim Namwoon growled, a sinister grin spreading across his face.
"Hyung can I draw Titano on that too?" asked Gilyoung and Kim Dokja's gaze turned soft.
"Sure," he said. "Everyone can. As long as there's space. I don't mind."
For someone who was going to go to some fancy event next month, he sure was being very
careless. Yoo Joonghyuk supposed he would learn by experience. He also thought it would be
pretty funny when Kim Dokja realised the issue with his plaster on the day of the event and started
flapping around in distress.
Yoo Joonghyuk kept an eye out at Shin Yoosung's suspiciously lumpy-looking present for Lee
Gilyoung, wondering if she had actually got him dog shit. Luckily, it wasn't that and it even ended
up being a pretty decent plushie that Gilyoung liked, but refused to admit. All was good then.
The guests stayed even after the party ended. It almost seemed a habit to them, to just laze around
and stay over.
"It's a shame Seolhwa-ssi couldn't come today," Jung Heewon lamented and Yoo Sangah nodded
her agreement.
"We could send her the pictures we took on the group chat," Kim Dokja suggested and their phones
were out immediately.
Yoo Joonghyuk didn't know that they had invited Lee Seolhwa for the day. Then again, he barely
ever checked the group chats he was in.
He was in a lot, there was one with everyone, including the kids, one with just the adults, and one
with everyone, but Kim Dokja, one with all the adults, but Kim Dokja, there was one with just his
team members, and one for the members of the house.
Messages kept rolling in every day, and he would just open them without actually reading anything
just to watch the number on the app indicating the unread messages disappear.
The children stayed up late, owing to the festive atmosphere and all the cake and dessert they had
eaten and were running around the house, yelling and giggling about something with Lee Jihye and
Kim Namwoon who had Biyoo sitting on his shoulders. Even Han Donghoon could be spotted,
grinning at their antics.
Jung Heewon was scribbling something onto Kim Dokja's cast with a permanent marker, and Lee
Hyunsung reading it over her shoulder. Han Sooyoung was having some sort of tense conversation
with Yoo Sangah, both glaring at each other, not breaking eye contact at all.
Yoo Joonghyuk decided he might as well start cleaning up everything in the kitchen.
"Ah, Yoo Joonghyuk," Kim Dokja called when he got up from his seat. "You can leave it."
Yoo Joonghyuk frowned at the lack of explanation.
"You can leave the kitchen as it is," said Kim Dokja. "I've arranged for it. The housekeeper will
come tomorrow morning and clear it up. Don't worry about it."
"What about tomorrow's breakfast, then?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked.
"Ooh~," Jung Heewon said softly, a wide smirk on her face and Yoo Joonghyuk was unpleasantly
reminded that all these people thought he had a crush on Kim Dokja. It was his fault for being so
obvious about Mr. Kim, but seriously, he felt nothing of that sort anymore.
His denial wouldn't do him any favours though, so he ignored it.
"We have other utensils, you know?" Kim Dokja grinned. "Really. Don't stress about it, I've got it
handled. You can rest now."
Reluctantly, Yoo Joonghyuk sat back down and let the dirty kitchen remain the way it was even
though he didn't like it very much.
Yoo Sangah left first and Kim Dokja saw her to the door and sent her off with a bright wave. Han
Sooyoung said she was staying over and Lee Jihye, eager to get out of her house, had lied to her
parents and said she was going for a sleepover at her friend's. She got scolded by both Yoo
Joonghyuk and Jung Heewon for that then finally got sent to bed.
"It's all worth it if I can taste master's cooking after I wake up," they heard Lee Jihye say proudly
as she trudged off.
Lee Hyunsung seemed very sad to part from Kim Dokja whom he hadn't seen in a long while. He
hadn't seen Yoo Joonghyuk in a while too, but he wasn't seeing this sort of behaviour for him.
Jung Heewon said something about being more careful and eating healthily and so on for at least
ten minutes before she was finished and set Kim Dokja free.
Once the guests were gone, the children went upstairs.
Yoo Joonghyuk was very conflicted about Lee Jihye saying that she was going to play a few games
with Kim Namwoon in his room before going to sleep. He had so many concerns. First of all, they
had to get sleep. Second of all, were they allowed to do that? He was worried for both Lee Jihye
and Kim Namwoon.
It was Kim Dokja's laugh that brought him out of his reverie as he glared at the teenagers'
retreating backs. Did he make his worries too obvious?
"They'll be fine," Kim Dokja said, turning away and going over to pick up his phone from the sofa.
"Don't worry and go to bed, Yoo Joonghyuk."
Yoo Joonghyuk did not go to bed and went to the kitchen instead.
"I told you," Kim Dokja followed him, slightly vexed. "I've called for someone. You don't have to
bother with cleaning."
"I'm putting away the leftovers," Yoo Joonghyuk said dryly and went to do as he said, leaving Kim
Dokja hovering awkwardly in the background.
Silence had enveloped the house and Yoo Joonghyuk felt the weariness of the entire day fall onto
his shoulders and travel down his arms as he spooned the leftover rice into a box and closed it
before putting it aside.
"Yoo Joonghyuk," Kim Dokja said opening the refrigerator door for him when he approached the
appliance with the boxes.
"Thank you for all this," he said. "I really mean it. And I'm sorry that you had to do all this for us."
"Stop talking nonsense and go to sleep, Kim Dokja," Yoo Joonghyuk said, shoving the man out of
the way and arranging the boxes into the refrigerator.
He had learnt the rules of the refrigerator quickly and had enforced his own, just as he had done for
the rest of the kitchen, and a few parts of the house. Whoever finished the ice in the tray had the
responsibility to fill it back up. Milk goes in at the front, not shoved somewhere in the back for
someone to forget about it later. No mixing the fruits and vegetables, they had their own designated
shelves.
The best part was that he didn't have to say any of this out loud. He just kept doing it and the others
caught on and followed.
"I'm sorry, Yoo Joonghyuk. I'll get out of your hair now," Kim Dokja said quietly before slinking
out of the kitchen, leaving Yoo Joonghyuk alone.
Kim Dokja was a fucking idiot. Why was he apologising to him? He did not want or need an
apology. He was doing this because he wanted to, not because someone had forced him to.
Sure, it was exhausting and he couldn't help but think of when the day would end and when he
would be able to finally sit down and give himself some rest, but he didn't consider it something
bad.
It was a tiresome day, he would agree, but he was content with it. He was looking forward to lying
in bed after all this and going to sleep satisfied with what he had done. Satisfied and happy.
Why would he need an apology for something like that?
. . . Right, because Kim Dokja thought that Yoo Joonghyuk was doing all of this out of a feeling of
responsibility.
He was in a way, but he enjoyed doing this, truth be told. And it wasn't like he was doing this for
Kim Dokja. He was doing it for the kids and because he wanted to.
Kim Dokja was in the living room, clearing up the streamers and balloons from the living room
when Yoo Joonghyuk was done with the kitchen.
"You said you'd called the housekeeper," Yoo Joonghyuk said making the man jump and turn
around in alarm.
"Jesus, you scared me," Kim Dokja said, hand on his heart, calming himself down. He
straightened. "I was just doing a rough packing up. Nothing too much. Go to bed, Yoo Joonghyuk.
Goodnight."
". . .You go to bed as well," Yoo Joonghyuk said hesitantly and walked away.
"Mhmm. Goodnight," Kim Dokja said as he left.
Lying in bed, sleep washing over him slowly, Yoo Joonghyuk wondered what sort of irony it was
that the first friends Mia had made were Kim Dokja's children. In a way, it made sense.
What was it about that man that brought about that air of home?
Yoo Joonghyuk had no idea.
That feeling he had been trying so hard to replicate for all these years returned so easily now, it was
almost maddening. It was unfair, it was practically a hoax created by the universe, a prank to piss
him off.
He didn't seem like the only one who felt it. Everyone around Kim Dokja felt it, that's why they
crowded around him the way they did.
Yoo Joonghyuk drifted off to sleep recollecting bits and pieces of all that had happened that day, a
day that felt too long, yet was done before he knew it. It would be tiring, but he wouldn't mind
another day like this.
Yoo Joonghyuk was more careful now.
His early morning runs or trips to the gym were trashed and he developed a new habit of going in
the late mornings, once the kids were sent to school and he was done with everything for the
morning.
He would return from the gym just in time to heat up the food for lunch and drag Kim Dokja and
Han Donghoon down to eat. Then he would take some rest, sit in his room, go through the internet,
catch up on the news, and do whatever he felt like in the timeframe.
After that, they would leave to pick the kids up, first Biyoo, and then the others.
He would prepare the kids some light evening snacks and listen to them talk about their day. Then
as he was preparing dinner, the kids would sit around in the living room with Kim Dokja finishing
their homework for the day.
Once Kim Namwoon was back and freshened up, they would have dinner, and stay up for an hour
or so, either watching the television, finishing up the rest of their homework or playing in their
rooms.
At ten, the children would be sent to bed, and Yoo Joonghyuk would clean up the kitchen, pack the
leftovers for later, throw away the trash and do some light meal prepping for the next morning.
And then he would go to bed, only to wake up early the next morning and start his day by making
breakfast for seven and packing lunch for four.
Yoo Joonghyuk had to stay alert all the time, lest he sank into this quagmire of comfort.
Every time he caught himself slipping into the routine and getting used to this, he would harshly
remind himself that he had hardly a month and a half left and then he would go back to his old
schedule.
That was the reason why he was forcing himself to sit inside his room now instead of in the living
room with the others. He tended to leave his door open when he was doing nothing of importance,
just listening to whatever was happening outside.
The kids were singing along to some famous song they had happened to hear on the internet,
having pulled it up on the television and letting it blast through the whole day.
Kim Dokja could probably be found sitting in the living room, his foot absentmindedly tapping
away to the music as he read something on his laptop, eyes sharp in concentration.
Han Donghoon was coming out of his room much more often now and it was something that made
Kim Dokja beam with pride. Yoo Joonghyuk was happy for them.
It was most probably Yoo Joonghyuk's cooking but everyone seemed much more healthier now.
Yoo Joonghyuk did impose strict dietary habits, and since his food was delicious, no one
particularly felt the need to depend on store-bought food.
Kim Namwoon was trying hard to keep his grades up, it seemed that he could not do both
streaming and studying together. Yoo Joonghyuk hadn't been very focused on studying back when
he was in high school, so he didn't have a lot to say. And Lee Jihye wasn't exactly a top scorer
either. Kim Dokja said that though he had scored pretty well, he had been home-schooled so he
wouldn't know what advice to give Kim Namwoon.
Yoo Joonghyuk was usually either in the kitchen or he would be bustling about the house, cleaning
up the mess the children had left behind, putting the clothes in the washing and folding them up
once they were done.
Han Sooyoung made fun of him, calling him a 'housewife'. Yoo Joonghyuk almost punted her out
of a window. He had been doing all of this since the start, he had lived alone with Mia for years; he
had been both the breadwinner and the caretaker and he had been doing an excellent job at it.
Besides, the only reason he was here was to help Kim Dokja with all of this.
Yoo Joonghyuk was mentally preparing himself for the day he would leave this place already. He
was coming to terms with it all so that he wouldn't be left a mess when it all ended. He knew just
how easy it was to fall for this and he already had prior experience of getting absolutely shattered
when it eventually ended. He wasn't going to be stupid and experience it again.
He had grown to like the little scuffles Yoosung and Gilyoung had, Biyoo's eccentricities, Kim
Namwoon and Kim Dokja's daily squabbles, Donghoon's texts, Mia sitting with the other two,
working on their homework together, reciting multiplication tables to each other, memorizing it.
Lee Jihye was starting to come over to hang out much more. Every now and then Han Sooyoung or
Jung Heewon could video call them and the kids would hijack the call meant to check on Kim
Dokja's wellbeing and the conversation would end up spanning hours.
The constantly noisy house was supposed to be disturbing. Yoo Joonghyuk was a big fan of peace
and quiet, but this atmosphere, he liked it very much. He didn't find it disturbing at all. It might as
well have been a sweet melody.
A sweet melody he was going to hear for only six more weeks. Yoo Joonghyuk was counting
down the days until the day he would pack his bags and go back home.
He did occasionally visit his flat when he had the time, on his way from the gym. Checking if
everything was fine there, making sure his PC didn't gather too much dust and stop working.
And sometimes, though he would never admit it to anyone, he would stand before the large framed
picture of him and Mia and just stare at it, letting his thoughts run amok.
Then he would gather all his feelings and all that he had thought up, drop them right there leave
them behind with the picture and go back to Kim Dokja's house. Whatever residual bitter memories
he had would only ruin the peace they had managed to come to, teetering on the edge, neither
daring to touch.
Both of them knew it. There was a line drawn in the sand, a faint yet firm line both were well
aware of and neither crossed it. That's what they had agreed to. That's what they wanted.
Chapter End Notes
What's with this filler chapter? Why did I even write it? I have no clue, the pacing just
felt off if I wrote the scenes I wanted to write immediately. So here's a nice filler I
wrote at two am
Chapter 37
Yoo Joonghyuk stared at the amount Kim Dokja had wired him that week. Did the number of
zeroes increase since last time? It probably did, Kim Dokja was a piece of shit who would do that.
The man had said some bullshit about feeling bad, something about how he would cover all
expenses and kept sending Yoo Joonghyuk some money every week.
He was buying groceries, not cars! Did that idiot have no sense of money? Or did he just like
throwing it around because he had a lot of it?
Come to think of it, Kim Dokja had always been a dumb son of a bitch even back then. All those
expensive gifts he brought of no reason. . .He really had been treating Yoo Joonghyuk like a sugar
baby.
It pissed him off, it really did, but he was a bit more mature about the whole thing now. Of course,
he would love to go into the living room or office, wherever Kim Dokja was at the moment, grab
him and give him a hard slap on his head, but there was a better way to go about this.
Fine. If Kim Dokja was going to throw his money around, Yoo Joonghyuk would spend it. It wasn't
his to bother about anyway.
He drove to the supermarket half an hour away instead of the usual one he went to, and took his
shopping cart around, looking for the fanciest, priciest things he could buy.
He had a feeling that if he had Han Sooyoung, Lee Jihye and Kim Namwoon along with him at the
moment, they could leave a significant dent in Kim Dokja's bank account by raiding the
supermarket...Probably.
How long did it take to make friends? According to Kim Dokja's Company, a few dinners were
enough.
That's what the group decided to call themselves. They had been looking for a name for the group
chat, and Kim Dokja suggested 'Kim Dokja's Company'. Not everyone was pleased with the name,
but no one had anything to change it to and the name just stuck.
It was sort of true, they had all met each other because of Kim Dokja and in all ways of speaking,
they might as well be Kim Dokja's Company.
Yoo Joonghyuk didn't even have to do much to get integrated into the group. He rarely ever texted
them back, but they would still include him in their shenanigans. Yoo Joonghyuk had expected
them to leave him out of it after trying for a bit and then getting disappointed, but they just took it
in stride, chalked it up to it being his personality and everything was fine and dandy.
Of course, Kim Dokja would manage to gather such people. Or maybe it was him that influenced
them this way. It could be both.
Yoo Joonghyuk read the label on the juice carton. Something about it being very healthy,
completely organic, no added sugars or food colouring, yada, yada. He focused on the price, a juice
carton had no business being that fucking expensive. It might as well have been daylight robbery.
Do people actually buy this shit? It didn't even seem worth it.
He put it into his shopping cart.
Only the highest quality meat and organic veggies and fruits today and for all of next week. Just to
piss Kim Dokja off, some nice, big, juice tomatoes as well.
Would that idiot even notice the difference? Of course, not, with his eyes always glued to a stupid
screen.
The kids noticed.
"Did it spoil?" Mia said, putting the glass of apple juice down, frowning at it. Yoosung pulled a
face and winced, smacking her lips.
"Put some sugar in this," Gilyoung said, hopping out of his chair and going to get his stool so that
he could add some sugar to it.
Biyoo writhed around and almost spat it all out when she tasted the juice. Kim Namwoon grimaced
and said it tasted too healthy. The only reason Han Donghoon finished it all was probably because
he was trying to be nice.
Yoo Joonghyuk poured himself a glass and tried it.
It wasn't bad per se. It did not have any artificial sugar, as it had advertised, and it was not as sweet
as the usual brand they bought. The first sip felt incredibly sour, but once it went down the throat,
it didn't matter as much.
Of course, the kids wouldn't like it.
Yoo Joonghyuk thought for a few seconds, then poured a tall glass and took it to Kim Dokja who
was sitting in the living room as usual.
"Hyung, don't drink it!" Gilyoung cried in alarm when Kim Dokja took the suspiciously large glass
full of apple juice from Yoo Joonghyuk's hand tentatively.
"Why?" Kim Dokja said, glancing at Yoo Joonghyuk dubiously. Yoo Joonghyuk maintained the
most neutral expression ever and this only seemed to double Kim Dokja's suspicions as he looked
at Yoo Joonghyuk's face and then at the contents of the glass.
"It doesn't taste good," Yoosung said, glaring at the glass, wanting it gone from Kim Dokja's hand
as soon as possible.
Mia, having caught onto her brother's plan was grinning widely.
"They're overreacting," she said happily. "It's nice."
What a bold lie.
"Try it," she said. "No, you have to drink it, Squid Ahjussi."
"Don't do that, Hyung," Gilyoung shook his head, trying to shove Yoo Joonghyuk out of the way so
that he could take the glass away from Kim Dokja.
"Don't listen to him!" Mia cried. "You have to try it, Ahjussi."
"Don't listen to Mia either," Yoosung chirped. "It doesn't taste nice at all."
Kim Dokja watched the scuffle unfolding before him with confusion and mild amusement.
Gilyoung trying to reach and kick Yoo Joonghyuk, Mia holding Gilyoung back from doing that,
and Yoosung trying to stop Mia from stopping Gilyoung.
"Drink it," Yoo Joonghyuk said, solving the dilemma that Kim Dokja was possibly going through.
"You don't drink enough water."
"Then get me some water instead of this," Kim Dokja said but raised the glass to his lips anyway.
Kim Dokja wasn't a big juice drinker.
The reaction was disappointing. Yoo Joonghyuk would have liked to see Kim Dokja's face contort
and wince like everyone else had when they tasted the juice, but that didn't happen.
Kim Dokja paused for a second, had a second sip, and then said, "Is this a new one?"
So he noticed, huh? He hadn't been expecting him to. At least it meant that his tastebuds were
working and not all ruined because of the gallons of bitter coffee he drank every day.
"Hmm," Yoo Joonghyuk nodded.
Then surprising him, and everyone in the room watching, Kim Dokja said, "It's nice," and
proceeded to drink some more.
"Hyung, you don't have to lie," Gilyoung cried.
"You can throw it out, Ahjussi," Yoosung nodded along. "None of us liked it."
"Really?" Kim Dokja said, looking at the juice in his glass. "I think it tastes good, though?"
That horrified both Yoosung and Gilyoung, Mia looked very disappointed with the result.
Yoo Joonghyuk did have his suspicions that Kim Dokja had just been lying to look cool and
unbothered in front of the kids, but when he actually finished the whole glass while he usually
wouldn't have and looked surprised himself that he had finished it all, he had to take his word for
it.
Kim Dokja didn't like overly sweet foods.
Right, he barely put any sugar in his coffee and Yoo Joonghyuk dreaded tasting that abomination.
Maybe that was the reason why he liked the juice.
Yoo Joonghyuk made a mental note to buy two kinds of juices from the next time onwards, one the
kids liked, and one that Kim Dokja thought was good. At least that way he would get some water
in his system instead of all that coffee he drank.
Yoo Joonghyuk was very pissed to find Kim Dokja in the kitchen after he had finished cleaning the
place once dinner was done.
"It's hot chocolate night," Kim Dokja had said brightly when Yoo Joonghyuk demanded an
explanation.
"What?"
Kim Dokja didn't bother explaining and asked him to go fetch the kids instead. The only reason
Yoo Joonghyuk did as told was he thought he would stuff Kim Dokja into an overhead cupboard if
he stood around that man and his snarky grin any longer.
Yoosung and Gilyoung jumped to their feet at an alarming rate and sped to the kitchen, dragging
Mia along when the words 'hot chocolate' left Yoo Joonghyuk's mouth. Then Yoo Joonghyuk went
upstairs to inform Namwoon and Donghoon of this since it seemed like a big deal. Han Donghoon
was out immediately, and Kim Namwoon needed some more threatening.
Yoo Joonghyuk would have lamented about how all his efforts to clean the kitchen had gone down
the drain because Kim Dokja couldn't be considerate enough to let him know about this
beforehand, but the kids were incredibly excited.
He had heard of these hot chocolate nights before from Yoosung and Gilyoung, and he had been
under the impression that they were probably just exaggerating.
There had been some exaggeration, but not a lot, not as much as he had expected.
Yoo Joonghyuk was waiting for Kim Dokja to pull out a tub of instant hot chocolate powder and
put it into cups before pouring hot water and milk and stirring it. It never came.
Gilyoung and Mia were breaking slabs of chocolate into a bowl, while Yoosung was standing on
the stool pulling down little bottles of rainbow sprinkles, a large packet of marshmallows, and a tin
of wafers from the cupboard overhead.
Kim Namwoon snatched up the packet and ripped it open immediately, popping a few
marshmallows into his mouth.
"Stop eating them now," Kim Dokja scolded him, hitting the boy on his head from the back end of
the whisk he was holding.
"You make it from scratch?" Yoo Joonghyuk couldn't help but ask, getting Kim Dokja's attention
and saving Kim Namwoon a possible lecture.
"Yeah," Kim Dokja shrugged. Then he raised his eyebrows, a playful smirk spreading across his
face. "What? Did you think you were the only one who could do it?"
Kim Dokja was lazy when it came to such things. He just never struck him as the guy who would
put all of this effort into making hot chocolate. He was the kind of guy who wouldn't bother
fluffing up rice in the cooker because it all goes into the stomach anyway and how would it
matter? Yoo Joonghyuk knew this from experience. Kim Dokja would much rather read in the time
taken to do all this.
Then he heard the kids chattering away excitedly, Mia breaking off tiny pieces of chocolate and
passing them along for others to nibble on, much to Gilyoung's annoyance. Yoosung was tugging
at Namwoon's sleeves, scolding him for feeding Biyoo too much chocolate. Even Donghoon was
actively participating and it all made sense.
Kim Dokja would do it for them. Even if it was bothersome, even if he would much rather be
doing something else, Kim Dokja would do it to make them happy.
Fool.
"Move," Yoo Joonghyuk said, holding his hand out for the whisk. "I'll do it."
Kim Dokja put on a show, acting all reluctant, but he gave up the actual work pretty quickly. Lazy
ass.
"Do you know how to make hot chocolate?" Kim Dokja asked, standing next to Yoo Joonghyuk,
keeping an eye on the milk so that it wouldn't boil over.
Yoo Joonghyuk had made hot chocolate for Mia many times, but he had not made it the way Kim
Dokja was instructing him to. That was a new recipe and he was actually interested in learning it.
Where did Kim Dokja learn it from? From the internet? Or was it when he used to work at Elysium
back then, even though he was a manager, he must have had access to the kitchens? Or during one
of his many trips around the world?
Even though he was curious, he did not ask. He didn't need to know the answer.
"Stop eating too much," Yoo Joonghyuk said sternly, melting the chocolate over a double boiler.
"Mia put the chocolate back in the fridge."
Mia followed her brother's words immediately, even going as far as to tackle Kim Namwoon and
snatching away the chocolate bar he had in his hands, wrapping them all up and putting them back
in the fridge.
"Kim Namwoon, go get the sugar," Kim Dokja said and Kim Namwoon who had just reached out
to the tin of wafers clicked his tongue in annoyance.
"Donghoon-ah, can you bring the cocoa power?"
Han Donghoon trotted off immediately, muttering something to Kim Namwoon and convincing
him to do as told.
"Can I stir?" Yoosung asked and Yoo Joonghyuk wanted to say no, and how it would be dangerous
especially with her needing a stool to reach the stove and all.
"Of course," Kim Dokja said and shoved Yoo Joonghyuk out of the way.
"Me too!" Gilyoung cried, rushing over.
"Ahjussi, me too!" said Mia and all three kids were fighting over the stool now. Until Kim Dokja
told them that they could take turns, and melt the chocolate together.
Yoo Joonghyuk saw Kim Dokja lower the heat so that the chocolate would take longer to melt and
they would all get a chance to hold the whisk and move it through the chunks of chocolate. He
sighed softly and took over the milk since Kim Dokja was busy watching the kids. He kept an eye
out for them, just in case, they toppled the stool over in their excitement, and Kim Dokja was
injured, he might not be able to catch them before they fell. . .Well, he might save them, but he'd
ruin his already shattered hand in the process.
"Why are you. . .?" Kim Dokja trailed away, watching Yoo Joonghyuk separate some of the milk
into another container.
"Biyoo should not have hot chocolate," Yoo Joonghyuk said. "Only milk for her."
"Have you been giving her hot chocolate all his time?" he turned to Kim Dokja, alarmed.
"No," Kim Dokja scoffed, putting his hand on his hip. "I'm not irresponsible."
"Could have fooled me."
"Hah?!"
"Don't put too much sugar in it," Yoo Joonghyuk warned.
"I know what I'm doing," Kim Dokja said waspishly, taking Biyoo's milk away from Yoo
Joonghyuk and nudging him away.
"How do you like your hot chocolate?" Kim Dokja asked a question Yoo Joonghyuk had never
bothered thinking about.
"Yoosung likes it foamy," Kim Dokja continued, watching the children scramble to get their
favourite mugs. "Gilyoung doesn't like foam all that much. Donghoon doesn't like putting
marshmallows into his drink, he likes having it separately, with those little forks we use for fruits
so that his fingers don't get dirty. Namwoon likes whipped cream on top, and some chocolate
sprinkles, though he'd never say it even if you held a gun to his head."
"How does Mia like it? How do you like it?"
Yoo Joonghyuk did not have an answer to it, but Kim Dokja was still looking at him, waiting for a
response.
"How do you like it?" Yoo Joonghyuk said instead and Kim Dokja looked just as lost as he had
been a few seconds ago.
"Not sure," the man said finally. "I'm fine with anything."
Yoo Joonghyuk held back a sigh. Idiot.
"Do you even like hot chocolate?" Yoo Joonghyuk said. He had only ever seen Kim Dokja drink
black coffee, he wasn't sure about his other drink preferences.
"Of course, I do," said Kim Dokja. "I'd make it every day if I could handle hot stuff. It's the worst
when you accidentally burn your tongue and your tastebuds are just screwed for a week."
"Are you a kid? Don't you know how to be careful?" Yoo Joonghyuk scoffed.
"Hey, accidents happen," Kim Dokja huffed.
Kim Dokja was made to stand on the sidelines and watch Yoo Joonghyuk finish the drink and pour
it into their mugs. Kim Dokja kept throwing comments and instructions at him, about how
everyone wanted their drinks, to add an extra teaspoon of sugar into Donghoon's mug, to not stir
Yoosung's drink too much, to hand over the sprinkles to the kids because they liked doing the
decorating bit themselves, and so on and so forth.
The man just couldn't shut up.
"I'll make my own," he said.
"Sit down, Kim Dokja," Yoo Joonghyuk glared at him and asked the kids to take him away
because Kim Dokja would bother him otherwise. Yoosung and Gilyoung took Kim Dokja's arms
immediately and dragged him off to the living room to sit down and rest and relax.
Yoo Joonghyuk was learning the tricks to handling Kim Dokja by using the kids. And it worked
every time.
Kim Dokja wouldn't like things that were too sweet, and he wasn't the kind to want too many
sweets on top. He might prefer the whipped cream because he'd just mentioned that he couldn't
handle hot drinks.
Kim Dokja's kitchen infuriated him sometimes. It was so incredibly nice for someone who
wouldn't ever use it properly.
Yoo Joonghyuk was looking for a large enough tray to carry all the mugs to the living room where
they were most likely to sit when Kim Namwoon took his mug and marched off. Han Donghoon
followed suit and the kids did the same, soon there was no need to carry anything, except his own.
"I'll take it to Ahjussi," Yoosung said brightly, taking Kim Dokja's mug before her own and
running off. Gilyoung glowered at the mug Yoosung had left behind and Yoo Joonghyuk took it
away before the boy could tamper with it.
Gathered around the living room, everyone squashed into the wide L-shaped sofa set.
"Ahjussi, you should get a beanbag chair," Mia said noticing the lack of space. Yoo Joonghyuk
considered putting her on his lap to make it comfortable for everyone, or he could always just go to
the kitchen.
"Should I?" said Kim Dokja. "Help me pick one tomorrow then."
"You're going to buy tomorrow?" said Mia. "But I have school though?"
"We can order it online," Kim Dokja grinned.
"Will it be fine?"
"It should be."
Five minutes in, Kim Dokja got up from his seat, "I'll be right back," he said before walking away.
He returned soon with a bowl of marshmallows and put it on the coffee table. The bowl was
attacked immediately.
"How are you better at making this than I am? I've been doing this for years," Kim Dokja
complained, finally tasting his drink. "You said this was your first time making it."
"Sick godly talent, Captain," Kim Namwoon said, and just to spite Kim Dokja he added, "Unlike
someone else I know."
Yoo Joonghyuk did not bother commenting on that.
The reason why Kim Dokja liked his drink better today was probably because Yoo Joonghyuk had
tried to make it suit his tastes. That fool had probably just paid more attention to the others' and
thrown his own together haphazardly before.
It was getting hotter by the day, a hot chocolate night made no sense. The only reason he could
think of was because the kids liked it. Maybe he should make them something cold. . .
He was doing it again. He wouldn't be there for the summer. Days were passing by and he would
leave soon. Summer and everything that came after that was Kim Dokja's responsibility, not Yoo
Joonghyuk's.
The sofa was oddly comfortable. If he laid back down and closed his eyes, he could go to sleep
right here. How did Kim Dokja work in this? How bad was his insomnia, really?
Yoo Joonghyuk could never work at a spot so comfortable and cosy. He thought of Kim Dokja's
office. If it weren't for the large desk in the middle, he would have mistaken the room for a reading
room.
Kim Dokja's office was filled with books and had no windows, but his bedroom did. Did he think
the need for ventilation was cancelled out because they were connected or something? Dumbass.
The hot chocolate was sweet. He had learned a new recipe today. It made the drink much more
creamier and richer than he had ever managed to get it. The pinch of cinnamon he had put in on
Kim Dokja's insistence worked well with the drink. It was nice.
"Oppa, you should bake sometime," Mia was saying and Yoo Joonghyuk nodded along, only
vaguely listening.
"Make banana bread," Gilyoung demanded. "I like banana bread."
"I like it too," Donghoon said quietly.
"I like fruit cake better," said Yoosung. "The soft, fluffy kind."
"Oh! Yoosung-ah, have you had those pancakes?" Mia said excitedly. "They are sooo fluffy. Oppa
can you make that for breakfast? And with chocolate syrup?"
Yoo Joonghyuk nodded again.
"Tomorrow?"
"Not tomorrow," he said. "Some other day."
"Ah, you know those mug cakes?" Yoosung piped up. "The one we saw on video the other day?"
"With cookies?" said Mia and Yoosung nodded.
"We can make it ourselves, too."
"Oppa won't let us make it by ourselves," Mia sighed. Then she looked at her brother, "Oppa, you
can stand in the kitchen and watch us. We'll make it on our own."
Mug cakes? Yoo Joonghyuk would have to look that up on the internet that night. He had no idea
what they were talking about.
"You should be able to manage it," said Kim Dokja thoughtfully. "You know how to use the
microwave, but I think Yoo Joonghyuk would want to watch over you anyway. Mug cakes are not
all that tough to make."
The kids nodded eagerly.
"It only takes five minutes," said Yoosung.
"Less than five," Gilyoung said, snuggling closer to Kim Dokja and shooting the girl an annoying
smirk that Yoo Joonghyuk thought he had learnt from his guardian.
Yoosung gritted her teeth and scooted over to press against Kim Dokja's other side. Kim Dokja
even moved his arm to accommodate her better.
Yoo Joonghyuk held back a sigh. Those two were always like this. Hopefully, this behaviour will
be gone once they grow up. If he tried, he could actually imagine high school-age Yoosung and
Gilyoung still clinging on to Kim Dokja.
Kim Dokja would be older by then too, wouldn't he? How would he look then? With the way he
was living now, he would have the darkest eyebags anyone's ever seen, a tired face, lines on his
face caused by old age, perhaps?
Han Donghoon who had been holding the marshmallow bowl held it out for Yoo Joonghyuk and
Yoo Joonghyuk took the tiny fork sitting on the bowl to transfer a few sweets into his mug.
The conversation had gone from mug cakes to other desserts they would like to make themselves,
to some madeleines Gilyoung had liked from Elysium to the blueberry pie Kim Dokja had ordered
some time ago that Mia thought was pretty neat, to how Yoosung remembered they had pie at a
restaurant when they went to the beach last summer. From there, it was about how they would like
to go to the beach with everyone.
Kim Namwoon was talking to Kim Dokja, in a surprisingly civil conversation about getting
piercings. Kim Dokja did tease him a bit about it, but the chocolate and the pleasant atmosphere
seemed to dull Kim Namwoon's urge to start a bloodbath.
Yoo Joonghyuk watched the tiny white pillows of sugar float on his chocolate drink, the steam still
rising from it.
This was nice. This was very nice, but he wasn't planning on experiencing it again. Once was
enough. Like visiting a museum or something, once was enough.
Mia wasn't the kind to like museums, she preferred outdoor activities better. He had taken her to
the museum as a kid once, just to see the place; Kim Dokja had been with him then. In fact, he had
been the one to suggest it. Something about it being educational, instilling curiosity and promoting
learning in children.
He had never been to the museum after that, until Gilyoung's birthday, that is.
Once was enough, truly.
"Yoo Joonghyuk," he looked up from the cup.
"Are you alright?" Kim Dokja said. "Feeling sleepy already?" he added playfully but his eyes were
still looking at him with concern.
"Are you sleepy already?" Gilyoung goaded him. "Tsk, loser. It's not even bedtime yet."
"Hey, shut up," Yoosung snapped at the boy. "Do you have no manners at all?"
"Kids, let's not fight today, okay?" said Kim Dokja effectively making the kids quiet down.
That was unusual. Kim Dokja usually just let them duke it out until they resolved the situation
themselves. Kim Dokja's eyes were still on him and Yoo Joonghyuk had the urge to look away
immediately.
Was it that obvious?
"Oppa, are you okay?" Mia said. Of course, she had noticed that he was being weird too.
"I'm fine," Yoo Joonghyuk told her.
He was fine.
He looked around his mind for an excuse to give. "It's too sweet," he said, nodding at his mug.
Luckily, it passed.
"Is it?" said Mia. "How much sugar did you put, Oppa?"
"It's not that sweet," scoffed Gilyoung. "You're overreacting."
"It's because you put too much chocolate in it, you insect," Yoosung said sharply.
"Is it?" Mia said, now very concerned because she had been the one in charge of the chocolate
along with Gilyoung.
"No, it's the sugar," Yoo Joonghyuk said confidently. That seemed to reassure Mia. Gilyoung
muttered something under his breath and Donghoon moved the bowl of marshmallows away from
Yoo Joonghyuk, just in case they had added to increasing the sweetness of his drink.
The drink was perfect, actually. He just couldn't think of anything else to use as an excuse.
Yoo Joonghyuk focused on his breathing, forcing himself to stop thinking about unnecessary
things.
He was perfectly fine.
If he felt Kim Dokja glance at him every now and then, he pretended he had no clue about it at all.
The dishwasher was running, so they had to wash their mugs and other utensils they had used to
make the drink themselves. Yoo Joonghyuk would have cleaned it all himself, but Kim Dokja said
they could manage on their own. The man even pulled Yoo Joonghyuk's own ceramic mug from
his hands and went off after Yoosung and Gilyoung.
Kim Dokja made Kim Namwoon clean the kitchen slab and this brought forth a lot of complaints
from the boy, but he did as he was told when Donghoon said that he could do it instead. Kim
Namwoon had a soft spot for the boy. He had a soft spot for all the kids. It was just Kim Dokja
that he picked a fight with every chance he got.
Owing to all the hot chocolate they had drank, excitement and energy were running high. They had
stayed up way past their bedtimes, and the only reason Yoo Joonghyuk wasn't picking them up and
putting them in their rooms was because tomorrow was a Sunday and they could afford to stay up
if they wanted. It was a good thing that Biyoo went to sleep at her usual time, Yoo Joonghyuk
wasn't sure how she would be the next day if her schedule was all screwed up. Biyoo wasn't an
easy child for anyone to handle; except Kim Dokja that is, she was the loveliest child in the
universe when she was with him.
The sofa really was comfortable. Maybe he should ask Kim Dokja where he got it from so he could
get one for his flat. It was soft but didn't sink in too much and felt nice on his back.
Yoo Joonghyuk found long black covers on the sofa when he returned from the gym. He had come
to recognise them as Kim Dokja's clothes that the housekeeper had brought from the dry cleaners'
and left there.
Yoo Joonghyuk picked them up and brought them to Kim Dokja's room to leave them there. Just as
he usually did.
Yoo Joonghyuk knocked on the door and he heard no response, so he opened the door and walked
in.
After Kim Dokja found him waiting for him to hand over his clothes one day, the man just laughed
and told Yoo Joonghyuk that he could just walk in and leave it on his bed and that it wasn't an
issue at all.
Kim Dokja occasionally made the joke that if Yoo Joonghyuk found the house's deed and other
documents, he could just have the house. Yoo Joonghyuk pretended he didn't care about it, but he
had been looking for the thing, just to gloat in Kim Dokja's face when he finally found it.
He supposed Kim Dokja had kept it elsewhere, not in the house. There was no other way the
bastard would be so confident.
Kim Dokja had way too many suits for his own good. And they all came in smooth, velvety black
covers that looked like they could only be dry cleaned as well from the dry cleaners. Rich people
things he would never understand.
Yoo Joonghyuk was laying them down slowly on the bed, not wanting to accidentally wrinkle
anything inside, when he heard a door creak open.
Yoo Joonghyuk was planning on glancing up and giving a nod of acknowledgement to Kim Dokja,
and returning to putting the things in his hand onto the bed, then leaving.
When he looked up, however, he froze in place, his mouth falling open in surprise.
He had been expecting Kim Dokja to walk out of his office, and into his room as he usually did.
Not this!
Kim Dokja was standing near a door Yoo Joonghyuk had never bothered thinking about what was
behind it. Water was dripping from his wet hair onto his shoulders, sliding down his bare chest. He
would be completely naked if it weren't for the tiny white towel that was loosely wrapped around
his waist. It wasn't doing its job at covering what it was supposed to cover, there were miles of skin
before it even reached his knees!
Kim Dokja looked just as stunned at seeing him for a few seconds. His expression morphed into
something of utter horror before he let out a strangled noise in his throat, and said, "Sorry, but can
you get out?"
Yoo Joonghyuk turned around and was out of the door immediately, accidentally slamming the
door shut behind him. He was pretty sure he had seen the towel drop to the floor as the door
closed.
He stood by the door, processing what had just happened.
Yoo Joonghyuk exhaled shakily.
Did that bastard have no sense? No shame? What was he doing walking around like that?
Yoo Joonghyuk reasonably reminded himself that Kim Dokja had been in his room and the one
who walked in was Yoo Joonghyuk. The mistake was his, not Kim Dokja's.
So what? The kids waltzed into his room every now and then, would he walk around like that in
front of them?
The kids weren't home right now, they were at school.

This was his house, Kim Dokja was free to do as he wished. Besides, he was just staying in his
room. He really couldn't blame him.
How was he supposed to know that Kim Dokja had an attached bathroom? No other room in the
house had one. He was under the impression that Kim Dokja used the bathroom outside, like
everyone else in the house. He wouldn't have just walked in unannounced if he'd known that the
man was bathing! He thought he was in his office, working.
Yoo Joonghyuk looked down at the last cover with Kim Dokja's suit on his arm that he had
forgotten to leave in the room in his rush to get out.
He was just being ridiculous. There was no need to panic. It wasn't like he was completely naked,
and even if he was, it wouldn't be anything he hadn't seen before. In fact, he had seen so much
more than just that. He should have told Kim Dokja just that.
No, no, he shouldn't ever say that! That would make it too suggestive. That was something he was
going to chuck out of his brain, no need to keep something so useless around.
Yoo Joonghyuk closed his eyes and inhaled deeply.
Kim Dokja had new tattoos.
He had new tattoos, Yoo Joonghyuk had noticed.

He wasn't sure what it was exactly, but there was more ink on his pale skin than he remembered.
And Yoo Joonghyuk remembered every inch of Kim Dokja's body.
Okay, okay! He did not mean it that way. He had just seen it a lot of times, it wasn't something he
could just forget, especially with all the times he had kissed those tattoos of his—He was going off
track. He should stop right there.
Logically speaking, he could tell if Kim Dokja had new tattoos or not, even if he had been staring
him up and down for those seven seconds. It was like spot-the-difference puzzles, where he was
comparing what he was seeing to what he had stored in his memories. And he hadn't been with
anyone else who had tattoos to confuse these things with.
Kim Dokja had new tattoos on his legs. And his arms seemed to have been decorated more.
Objectively speaking, Kim Dokja was generally beautiful, he knew that. He had always known
that. And that was the point, it shouldn't matter. Anyone would be shocked if they saw something
like that. He was being very normal about this. He was handling this well, all things considered.
Would this make things awkward between them?
Yoo Joonghyuk who had been planning on going back to his room and just leaving the clothes
hanging on the door handle, paused.
It would. It would be so painfully awkward if they didn't address this right now. They had
somehow come to this perfect truce, this would ruin it if they let it stay and fester.
It would make the kids worry. And a personal concern of his was that Kim Dokja would go back to
ignoring him as he had done before. Yoo Joonghyuk didn't think he could handle it rationally if
Kim Dokja started acting like that again.
He reached out his hand and knocked on the door.
"Can I come in now?" he said, praying that Kim Dokja hadn't heard the crack in his voice.
"Ah, give me a second!" Kim Dokja called from inside and Yoo Joonghyuk heard scrambling,
hurrying footsteps, a light thunk followed by a pained groan and a series of swear words.
"Did you fall?" he said, now slightly incredulous.
"I didn't!" Kim Dokja snapped.
"Are you hurt?"
"No, I'm fine."
"Don't lie."
"I'm not! I just hit my knee on the bed," Kim Dokja said. "I'm fine. Give me a few minutes."
It was taking much longer than usual. . .Ah, he couldn't use his right hand. Of course, he was going
to take longer. Yoo Joonghyuk opened his mouth to offer help but caught himself just in time. No,
that was crossing the line.
A while later, the door opened and a fully dressed Kim Dokja stood behind it.
"Did you need something?" he said, looking at him, his face steadily getting redder by the second.
Yoo Joonghyuk wanted to bury his head in his hands and curse out in exasperation. How was he
supposed to keep his composure if this bastard went around acting like that?"
He held his arm out and Kim Dokja looked down.
"You could've just left it outside," Kim Dokja said, taking the cover from Yoo Joonghyuk's hand
and walking back inside to put it on his bed alongside the others.
From where he was standing, Yoo Joonghyuk could see the back of Kim Dokja's neck glowing a
bright pink as the man struggled to pull down the zips on the black covers to get his clothes out.
Yoo Joonghyuk felt his own ears burn.
"Move," he snapped, marching into the room and shoving Kim Dokja out of the way.
"I can do it myself," Kim Dokja said, watching Yoo Joonghyuk take his dry-cleaned clothes out.
"Go dry your hair," Yoo Joonghyuk said, glaring resolutely at the sleek suits he had managed to
extract from their covers. He felt Kim Dokja fumble around for a few seconds, before finding a
towel.
"Where does it go?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked.
"Pardon?" Kim Dokja said, pausing his act of rubbing the towel on his head awkwardly with just
one hand. It wasn't very effective either, he should just use a hairdryer. But that wasn't going to
work well either when he was literally dripping water.
"Where do these go?" Yoo Joonghyuk repeated.
"You can just leave them there," Kim Dokja said and only relented when Yoo Joonghyuk glared at
him for being stubborn.
The wardrobe that Kim Dokja had pointed to had a very neat interior, and Yoo Joonghyuk was
reminded of why Kim Namwoon always called Kim Dokja a neat freak. Everything was so neatly
arranged, that he was worried he would ruin some unspoken system Kim Dokja had. There was a
whole drawer just for ties that were neatly folded.
The dry-cleaned clothes came on a clothes hanger and all he had to do was hang it up on the steel
rod on top. Seriously, did this idiot have no other clothes?
Out of curiosity, he slid the door shut and pushed open the other one. . .So he did have casual wear,
T-shirts and jeans. He rarely ever wore hoodies, but he had them. Why keep them around if he
wasn't going to wear it? He had a better fashion sense when he was in college. No wonder why
Han Sooyoung kept saying that he was shit at it.
Kim Dokja was still struggling with his hair when Yoo Joonghyuk was finished. He had never
thought about it, but how exactly was Kim Dokja managing to take showers with that hand on his?
Of course, that idiot would never ask for help even if he had a sword through him.
Dumbass.
"Sit down," Yoo Joonghyuk said, yanking the towel out of Kim Dokja's hand.
"Huh?"
"Sit down, idiot," Kim Dokja was pushed onto the edge of the bed and Yoo Joonghyuk threw the
towel back onto his head rather roughly, before starting to dry it for him.
"I can do it myself," Kim Dokja said and in response, Yoo Joonghyuk scrubbed harder.
"It hurts, you bastard," Kim Dokja snapped from underneath the cloth that was falling over his
face. Yoo Joonghyuk was glad that there was something shielding Kim Dokja's vision, blocking
both of them from seeing each other.
"Then shut up," he said.
He should use this opportunity to clear up whatever had happened. He opened his mouth, then
closed it. He didn't know what to say.
He focused on what he was doing instead, hoping it would help him clear his mind and think of
proper words to say.
He had never done this for Kim Dokja before. They had taken showers together a lot of times, but
he'd never bothered with this. Neither of them had, honestly. It was such a strange experience.
Sure, he had dried Mia's hair countless times before, and he was sure that there was absolutely no
reason for his throat to feel as dry as it did at the moment.
. . .He had gone and fucked up, hadn't he?
Yoo Joonghyuk had been very careful about not getting used to this comfortable life. He had
focused so much of his energy on it that he forgot to invest some into preventing Kim Dokja from
screwing him over as he had done before.
Damn it.
No, there was no need to despair just yet, it was still salvageable. He could still get rid of it.
He would get rid of it.
Just a month left, he would be gone and so would all these shitty, useless feelings or whatever.
He pulled the towel off Kim Dokja's head and dropped it onto his lap, looking away as soon as he
could.
"Where's your hairdryer?" he asked, an excuse so that his behaviour wouldn't come off as strange.
"It's there," Kim Dokja pointed at the vanity mirror against the wall. "The seat's got a drawer in it."
Yoo Joonghyuk was only glad to put some distance between the two of them. The door was still
open, that was a good thing. It would have been so much more vexing to be in a closed room with
Kim Dokja.
Only when he found the hairdryer did he realise that it was no good and he would still have to be in
close proximity to Kim Dokja because of it. . .He could always just hand it over to the man and
leave.
But when would he talk about this whole thing then? He wanted to be done with it as soon as
possible.
"Come here," he said, plugging the appliance in, dreading every second that was to come.
"Why?" Kim Dokja said, and Yoo Joonghyuk thought he sounded slightly scared.
He wasn't going to eat him or anything, what the fuck was that idiot acting like this for?
"I can only plug it here," Yoo Joonghyuk said scathingly. "The wire doesn't reach till the bed.
Come here and sit."
"Oh," Kim Dokja said blankly. "Right."
He got to his feet and hurried over, slipping into the gap between Yoo Joonghyuk and the seat and
sitting down on it, his back straight, hands on his knees, staring ahead into the mirror with a very
serious expression.
"Switch it on."
"What?"
Yoo Joonghyuk sighed.
"You've got a problem with your hearing?" he snapped. "Switch the thing on."
Kim Dokja stared at his reflection in the mirror, then gave a start and bent down to turn the switch
on.
"I can really do this on my own, you know?" he said, straightening and Yoo Joonghyuk slid the
switch to the first level, hot air blasting out of the hair drier onto Kim Dokja's head.
Kim Dokja opened his mouth in an attempt to protest, then closed it with a resigned look on his
face, letting his shoulders sag, and giving up.
"You can increase the level," he said. "It works faster."
"It'll also make all your hair fall off," Yoo Joonghyuk told him sharply. "Stop bothering me."
"I didn't ask you to do this," said Kim Dokja. "I'm telling you, I can do it on my own."
"Can't you keep quiet for once? Let me do what I'm doing in peace."
Kim Dokja clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes in indignance.
Kim Dokja's pissed-off look stayed on his face for a few more minutes, as Yoo Joonghyuk stood
there silently, collecting his words in his head, with just the hairdryer running loudly to fill in the
silence.
"Kim Dokja," Yoo Joonghyuk said finally when he had gathered all his courage and steeled
himself.
"Let's forget about it."
"About what?" said Kim Dokja.
"About earlier," Yoo Joonghyuk managed to grit out.
Kim Dokja stared at his reflection in the mirror before them for a few seconds, where Yoo
Joonghyuk determinedly focused on Kim Dokja's hair, then he said, "Ah, that." There was a flush
spreading across his face when he realised what Yoo Joonghyuk was talking about.
He would never make anything easier for Yoo Joonghyuk, would he? That fucking bastard!
"It doesn't mean anything," Yoo Joonghyuk soldiered on. "Don't act weird because of that."
Yoo Joonghyuk wanted to tell himself these things too. He wanted to grab himself by the shoulders
and shake him around repeating the same words until it got into his skull and stayed there.
"Okay," Kim Dokja said with a small nod.
The flush on his face was gone. It left a bad taste in Yoo Joonghyuk's mouth, but he decided he did
not want to know more about it.
He was not someone who deluded himself on purpose, but there were a few things he knew were
better to be left alone.
"I'm sorry, it was my fault," Kim Dokja said, letting out a nervous laugh through his lips. "I
should've locked the door. I can't believe I forgot about it."
"I really should learn from experience," he was blabbing away. "I mean, when Heewon and
Hyunsung walked in, I should have learnt to lock my doors."
What?
So, this had happened before! It wasn't entirely Yoo Joonghyuk's fault.
Yoo Joonghyuk pushed the slider on the appliance up a level. Let Kim Dokja's hair fall off. Dumb
son of a bitch.
"In my defence, it wasn't all my fault," Kim Dokja was saying quickly. "I was used to living alone
then and I forgot about that bit. I didn't have to worry about it when it was just me in my house.
Habits, you know?
"So?" Yoo Joonghyuk scoffed. "Do you just walk around naked?"
"What's wrong with walking around naked in my own house?" Kim Dokja retorted.
"There are other people living here."
"I'm not talking about here," Kim Dokja rolled his eyes. "Just generally, if I'm living on my own,
what's wrong with it?"
"Take your clothes into the bathroom, you idiot," Yoo Joonghyuk brought his fist down on Kim
Dokja's head before he knew it. Kim Dokja groaned in pain and clutched his head, glowering at
Yoo Joonghyuk through the mirror.
"You are one rude asshole," he sneered. Yoo Joonghyuk glared back at him.
"I do take clothes in normally. This—," Kim Dokja held up his hand with the previously white cast,
but now covered with colourful drawings and phrases after KimCom had decorated it. "—Just
makes it sort of difficult, you know? It's much easier to change in my room instead of dancing
around in the bathroom, where there is a high risk of me slipping and falling and breaking my head
open."
"Take your bathrobe or something then," Yoo Joonghyuk grumbled. The idea of Kim Dokja
cracking his skull was not as pleasant as he thought it would be.
". . .Ah, I didn't think of that," Kim Dokja muttered.

"Obviously," Yoo Joonghyuk scoffed.
Kim Dokja heaved a sigh that got lost in the whirring noise of the machine Yoo Joonghyuk was
holding.
"You're right," he said, shrugging. "It really doesn't matter, does it?"
Kim Dokja chuckled lightly. "Let's just forget about it. It's not like it was something bad. We're
friends anyway, shouldn't matter."
"We are not friends, Kim Dokja," Yoo Joonghyuk said clearly and for a second Kim Dokja's eyes
went wide. Then they turned into crescents as he smiled.
"Hmm, that's right, we aren't friends," he said.
If Han Sooyoung claimed herself to be the one who knew Kim Dokja the best, Yoo Joonghyuk
considered himself the person who could tell Kim Dokja's smiles and expressions apart easily.
The smile he had on his face at the moment didn't seem fake at all and Yoo Joonghyuk felt sick.
He switched the hairdryer off and put it on the table before them.
"That's all I have to say," he said, stepping away. "Do the rest yourself."
And he turned on his heel before leaving the room, not waiting for any reply or reaction from Kim
Dokja.
Chapter 38
He almost didn't realise that it was Dream Kim Dokja until the jerk opened his mouth.
"Tsk, tsk, tsk, look at you," Dream Kim Dokja said as he straddled Yoo Joonghyuk who was lying
on a bed. His slender body was damp as though he had just taken a shower, water dripping from his
hair, falling onto him leaving the most glorious streaks over the pale, porcelain skin. The towel he
had been wearing around his waist had been discarded a long time ago.
"You're being way too creepy, Joonghyuk-ah," Dream Kim Dokja said, sliding a hand up his chest,
his long eyelashes fluttering every time he blinked. "The way you were looking at me was a bit too
disgusting. How could you just do that? How could you just stand there and stare?"
Dream Kim Dokja shuddered in revulsion.
"You say you hate me. You say you don't like me at all and yet you look at me like that. Ugh! I'd
much rather just die. . .Why are you like this even now? I hate you so much. I absolutely despise
you."
Dream Kim Dokja leaned down, his gaze almost burning him whole.
"Be good for me then, Hyuk-ah," Dream Kim Dokja spat. "I don't have any expectations from you
anyway. So, just be a good boy and Hyung will treat you to something good. Clear?"
Dream Kim Dokja had the coldest glare, something he had never seen on the real version. It made
him sick to the stomach.
"I need a verbal answer, Joonghyuk-ah. If I ask you something, you answer me. Clear?"
Yoo Joonghyuk's eyes opened abruptly. When all he saw was the dark ceiling overhead and not
Kim Dokja, he let out a choked gasp, the tension in his muscles leaving him.
Just a dream. Just a stupid, shitty dream with Dream Kim Dokja, the world's greatest bastard in it.
Yoo Joonghyuk blinked.
Why was this happening?! He hadn't had such a dream about Kim Dokja in years! Fucking years,
he hadn't even thought about Kim Dokja in that way for a long time. So why the actual fuck was it
happening now? Just because he saw him half-naked for a few seconds? Bullshit!
". . .Fuck," Yoo Joonghyuk breathed, resolutely staring at the ceiling, not daring to close his eyes.
He did not want to see that ever again.
When did things start going wrong, he wondered wearily. Was it when he discovered that Mr Kim
was Kim Dokja?
Kim Dokja was right again. Yoo Joonghyuk would have been fine if he had never met the man and
had never found out the secret he had managed to keep from him for over a year.
What he wouldn't give to just go back in time and never have to repeat all this again.
He had been the one to say that they should just forget about it. He had been the one to say that it
meant nothing. And Kim Dokja had agreed.
So why the fuck did Kim Dokja look away from every time their eyes met?
It wasn't until Mia tugged at Yoo Joonghyuk's sleeves and with a concerned look asked, "Are you
sick, Oppa?" that Yoo Joonghyuk realised that his ears and neck had been burning red all this time.
"Oh," Kim Namwoon gasped at the dining table. He looked at Yoo Joonghyuk, then at Kim Dokja
who was staring with such immense concentration at his bowl of rice, it might as well have held all
the answers to the universe, a pale pink on his cheeks.
"Argh!" Kim Namwoon groaned loudly, jumping to his feet. "You two are so gross! Ugh! Blegh!"
he scurried away from the table, making sure to gag dramatically and mime throwing up all the
way to the front door.
Yoo Joonghyuk did not know exactly what conclusion Kim Namwoon had reached, he didn't want
to know either. But he felt Kim Namwoon's reaction would be very much worth it if Yoo
Joonghyuk grabbed him and told him that he and Kim Dokja used to fuck back in the day.
Damn it, he was doing it again! He was not supposed to think about those times here. Not in this
house, not anywhere near Kim Dokja.
Just one more month. Less than a month, actually! And he would finally be gone.
What could possibly happen in less than a month?
Something was going on with Kim Dokja.
It was Kim Namwoon who spotted the changes first. He came directly to Yoo Joonghyuk, and very
seriously said, "Captain, keep an eye on that subway grasshopper."
Yoo Joonghyuk who was just going to take some rest after cleaning up the kitchen for the night
looked at him for an explanation.
"I don't know how to describe it, man," Kim Namwoon said, running his hand through his white
hair in frustration. "Just—Just look out for Hyung. He's—He's going into that state of his, you
know?"
Yoo Joonghyuk did not know what this state was, but he nodded anyway. He had been keeping an
eye on Kim Dokja all this time, he didn't need special reminders.
The kids noticed it next, Gilyoung and Yoosung didn't fight as much around Kim Dokja and
Donghoon's worry was apparent. They kept trying to get Kim Dokja to go to the park with them, or
take them out for the day or something. Mia suggested they all go grocery shopping together.
Kim Dokja agreed but bailed last minute, saying he had something to do and left the house.
The situation only worsened from there.

Kim Dokja's teasing, smug smiles became incredibly rare, there were no more fights with Kim
Namwoon. He was almost always in his office, forget working on the sofa. He barely spoke up and
ate very little. He played with Biyoo, and still read her bedtime stories, but his voice was dull and
his eyes seemed to have lost their light a little.
Yoo Joonghyuk just didn't know what the fuck was going on.
"We have to tell Noona," Gilyoung said one evening when Kim Dokja had left the house in the
morning and still not returned. "Sooyoung Noona will come and fix it."
Ah, so this was the episode Han Sooyoung had been talking about.
Suddenly it made sense why Han Sooyoung had been so worried about these. Kim Dokja's
behaviour was alarming during these times.
"Does this happen often?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked.
"Define often," drawled Kim Namwoon.
"Not always," Han Donghoon was at the table too, either because he was getting used to this, or
because he considered the situation to be that dire. He was texting Han Sooyoung and letting her
know of the issue.
"But sometimes," Gilyoung added.
"Ahjussi's busy," Yoosung said softly. "Sometimes he gets super busy and he forgets everything
else."
Right, Mr Kim was a workaholic. And Jung Heewon had been really furious about it back then too.
Was this because of that event he had to go to soon? Maybe that was stressing him out? Or was it
just too much work piling up?
"I told you to keep an eye on him," Kim Namwoon grumbled, casting Yoo Joonghyuk a glare.
"Why did you just let it happen?"
"He doesn't know," Donghoon muttered. Kim Namwoon clicked his tongue in annoyance but kept
quiet after that.
Was it his fault? Did he let it get worse? Because he had been avoiding spending too much time
alone with Kim Dokja after that incident?
"Don't blame Oppa," Mia snapped at Namwoon. "Squid Ahjussi's just weird. Yoosung said he's
just too busy."
Han Sooyoung burst in the next afternoon, found Kim Dokja in his office and dragged him out.
"We're going drinking tonight!" she declared to the house, Kim Dokja held in a chokehold in her
arms.
"I have work," Kim Dokja managed to get out, but he received a lemon lollipop shoved into his
mouth for that.
Yoo Joonghyuk frowned. He had seen that very lollipop in Han Sooyoung's mouth just a few
seconds ago. Han Sooyoung noticed this and smirked widely.
"Hey," she said, watching Kim Dokja who had just managed to get himself out of her grasp and
was straightening his clothes. "You know, that was my lollipop, I was just eating it."
"So?" Kim Dokja said blankly, still busy with his shirt.
"Eh, you're no fun, man," Han Sooyoung said, disappointed. Yoo Joonghyuk wasn't sure what to
feel about it, so resorted to glaring at the woman.
"Let's call Yoo Sangah as well," said Han Sooyoung and Yoo Joonghyuk decided he was going to
throw out those shitty lemon candy from Kim Dokja's car.
"I just told you," Kim Dokja sighed. "I've got work."
"Work can fuck itself," said Han Sooyoung. "We're going drinking, getting absolutely wasted and
you're going to tell me what the fuck happened this time."
"Nothing happened," Kim Dokja rubbed his forehead with a grimace. "You're overreacting. Go
home, Sooyoung."
"I'm not taking any chances anymore, Kim Dokja," Han Sooyoung said quietly, the previous smirk
on her face vanishing. "I won't go through it again."
"You're trying to guilt trip me," Kim Dokja complained.
"Yep, that's exactly what I'm doing," Han Sooyoung admitted without an ounce of shame. "That's
the only way you'll listen."
Kim Dokja was not impressed.
"Hey, the kids are getting worried, Yoo Joonghyuk's stopped cooking properly," Han Sooyoung
said. Yoo Joonghyuk did not like the sudden attack on his cooking, but Kim Dokja spared him a
worried glance at that, so he supposed he could let it slide.
"I'm worried. Yoo Sangah's worried. Jung Heewon's worried, everyone's worried. Lee Hyunsung's
offered to come and stay with you even," Han Sooyoung continued. "I'm like this close to calling
your mother. I'm not going to see her at the ER this time, yeah?"
Kim Dokja pursed his lips, his eyes shaking, eyebrows scrunched up as though he was in pain.
"I hate you," he muttered, letting his eyes close.
"Well, news flash, I hate you like this too," Han Sooyoung said with a sardonic laugh.
"You're being too loud," Kim Dokja grumbled. He fiddled with his pockets for a while before
taking out his phone and doing something with it.
"I'm making a reservation," he said wearily.
"Ooh, that fancy place?" said Han Sooyoung going over to hang on Kim Dokja's shoulder and look
at his phone. "Nice! Let's get absolutely wasted. Drink like there's no tomorrow."
"I don't like drinking," Kim Dokja sighed.

"Sucks to be you," was Han Sooyoung's heartless reply to that.
Kim Dokja said something about how he still had work to wrap up and that he would get ready to
go out on time and then left for his office.
As soon as he was gone, Han Sooyoung dropped her cheery, loud, annoying disposition and glared
at Yoo Joonghyuk.
"What the fuck, dude?" she snapped. "Did you do something?"
"I did not," Yoo Joonghyuk glared back. He had not done anything. Why was everyone hell-bent
on blaming him?
Han Sooyoung sighed heavily.
"It's fine," she exhaled. "That bastard's just like that. . .Something seems to have happened. We'll
get it out of him. Sangah knows how to get him to spill without drinking till our livers rot, you
know?"
Yoo Joonghyuk just nodded to that and Han Sooyoung's displeased frown increased.
"You're hopeless," she said, running her hands through her hair and pushing them back, before
letting them fall back, framing her face.
"Why are both of you like this, huh? I can't believe you. Just kiss and make up already."
"I have no interest in Kim Dokja," Yoo Joonghyuk said curtly and Han Sooyoung gave a dramatic
eye roll.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever," she said waving her hand at him, it was very disrespectful.
Yoo Joonghyuk didn't want to name any of the feelings he felt when Han Sooyoung dragged Kim
Dokja out of the house in the evening, with the promise of having fun with Yoo Sangah whom she
had already messaged a few hours back.
He felt that defining those emotions would lead him straight to a pit of despair. Whatever it was, it
had no business being where it was and he would get rid of it.
Hardly a month. Three weeks. Just three weeks and he would be done with this.
Kim Dokja had never been more glad to get out of a car. He saw his life flash before his eyes three
times during that forty-six-minute drive.
"You're fucking crazy," he gasped out, fumbling and making his way away from the car and Han
Sooyoung who was giving the keys to a valet.
"We should've just asked Yoo Joonghyuk to drive."
"Not Hyuk-ah anymore?" Han Sooyoung scoffed.
Kim Dokja scowled at her. "Don't."
Han Sooyoung just shrugged and they made their way into the tall building, with blinding lights.
"I just find it weird how you two haven't had any of those rom-com moments yet," said Han
Sooyoung, walking into the hotel and bar owned by Dionysus, giving Kim Dokja VVIP treatment
and a lot of other privileges. Yoo Sangah had texted them saying that she was already waiting at
their reserved table at the bar.
"Either you have been using your super stealth skills to avoid the guy. Or he's been avoiding you,"
she continued, holding Kim Dokja's hand just in case he took the first chance he saw to slip away.
"It makes no sense that you two haven't even had one accidental hand-touch moment, you know?"
"We're grown adults," Kim Dokja said dully. "Do you think brushing hands is going to freak us
out?"
"Hmm, yeah," Han Sooyoung nodded after thinking for a few seconds. "I mean, you used to be
fuck buddies. Hand touches aren't that big of a deal. . .Did something happen?"
"No," Kim Dokja said. "Nothing is going to happen either. Both of us don't want it."
"Please, you know you want it," Han Sooyoung grinned, nudging him in the ribs, and wiggling her
eyebrows.
"How're your attempts at flirting with Sangah-ssi going on?" Kim Dokja said instead, smiling at
Yoo Sangah whom he had spotted, sitting at a table, waving at them with a bright smile.
Han Sooyoung's grin changed into a dark scowl.
"Hey, do you want to die?" she hissed. "I'm not interested in her like that."
"Yeah, right," Kim Dokja snorted. "I know I'm a bit slow at picking up these things, but that
tension you two've got going on is eighteen plus novel worthy. Like, get a room already."
Kim Dokja got an elbow rammed into his stomach for that, leaving him doubling over, wheezing in
pain.
"Bitch," he grit out.
"What, you bastard?" Han Sooyoung snapped back.
"Why are only you allowed to make fun of me?" Kim Dokja said, straightening, still massaging the
spot where Han Sooyoung had hit him.
"Because you two actually had something going on," Han Sooyoung spat. "I'm not making up
things that didn't happen."
"Ah, so you're saying it's fine once it does happen," Kim Dokja drawled. "Alright, got it. . .How
bad is your game, really? I mean, it has been a while, hasn't it?"
"What do you mean it's been a while, you fucker?" Han Sooyoung said heatedly. "I didn't even
know I liked women until recently."
"Bullshit," Kim Dokja snorted. "You were literally drooling at my mother. Didn't know until
recently, my ass."
"Fuck you," Han Sooyoug huffed. "Your mother's a goddess. Everyone is going to drool at her."
"I ought to gouge your eyes out for that," Kim Dokja said drolly. "To look at my mother with such a
filthy gaze. My father will approve, you know?"
Han Sooyoung let out a loud, maniacal laugh.
"I'd like to see you try, bitch," she chortled. "No, do you have any ideas just how many eyes you'll
have to gouge out if you want to punish everyone who's looked at your mother that way? I am
innocent. I was just objectively admiring something beautiful."
"I should tell that to Sangah-ssi," said Kim Dokja and Han Sooyoung aimed another elbow jab at
him, but this time he was prepared and could dodge before it hit him.
Han Sooyoung dropped her efforts to break Kim Dokja's ribs when they were finally near Yoo
Sangah and Kim Dokja made sure to smirk smugly at her every chance he got. He sat next to Yoo
Sangah just to annoy Han Sooyoung.
"What?" he mouthed. "You said there was nothing going on."
"Fuck off, bitch boy," Han Sooyoung snapped back.
"Sangah-ssi, you aren't planning on staying the night, are you?" Kim Dokja asked once they had
ordered their drinks.
"Ah, no," Yoo Sangah shook her head as she watched Han Sooyoung pick up her glass of some
deep purple cocktail.
"Because I've only booked two rooms," Kim Dokja continued. "Well, if it comes to it, you can just
share with Han Sooyoung. There might be only one bed, but I don't think it will matter much."
Han Sooyoung choked on her drink and Kim Dokja felt very smug.
He bent his legs inwards, under his chair before Han Sooyoung's wild kick reached him. He was
an incredible wingman, he didn't know what Han Sooyoung was on about. He had even managed
to recreate the good old there-was-only-one-bed trope. The rest was in Han Sooyoung's hands now.
From here convincing Yoo Sangah to stay over by confessing or something else was her job.
They started talking. There was no fixed topic, it started from asking each other about how things
were going on in their lives, to talking shit about the people that annoyed them, and then to all
other random topics under the sun.
Kim Dokja wasn't a big drinker, Yoo Sangah was. Han Sooyoung seemed interested in trying all
the fancy cocktails at the bar and Kim Dokja cheered her on so that he wouldn't have to talk about
whatever was bothering him.
By the end of three hours, Han Sooyoung was absolutely wasted, Yoo Sangah had somehow
managed to empty one bottle of soju, one whole bottle of cherry-flavoured vodka and half a bottle
of wine by herself. It was very concerning.
Kim Dokja was only slightly tipsy. He had barely managed to go through two shots of whiskey and
a glass of wine himself. He considered his tolerance average, maybe slightly above average
considering all the wine tastings Dionysus had dragged him off to when he decided he would
entertain the man and visit his favourite vineyards.
He could hold more alcohol, but it just didn't taste good that night. He used the excuse of his
recovering to avoid drinking and the women didn't force him after that. Han Sooyoung would have,
but she was a bit too drunk at the moment to do so. If Kim Dokja, in the pretence of being a good
friend had ordered cocktails with high concentrations of alcohol for her, it was no one's business
but his.
He had moved himself out of the way sometime and let Han Sooyoung sit next to Yoo Sangah.
Neither seemed to mind it though, there was barely three inches of space between them, and he had
lost the number of times those two maintained eye contact for extremely long durations, only to
look away all of a sudden, flushing pink.
"Should we go upstairs now?" Kim Dokja asked the only other reasonable person there.
Yoo Sangah looked away from Han Sooyoung who was clinging to her arm and then nodded, her
gaze softening. Ah, so she wasn't all that sober either, leaving Kim Dokja the only reasonable
person there.
"Do you want me to take her?" Kim Dokja said.
"I can do it," said Yoo Sangah.
As he got up, Yoo Sangah whispered something into Han Sooyoung's ears which made her sit up
straight, her eyes wide. The flush on her face could be because of the alcohol, it could be
otherwise. Kim Dokja did not want to find out. He was out of here.
He decided he would tease Han Sooyoung the next morning when Yoo Sangah announced that she
would stay the night. Kim Dokja offered to book another room, but Yoo Sangah said that she was
fine with it and she didn't want to bother him about it.
It wouldn't be a bother actually. It wasn't like he had to pay here, being Dionysus' 'favourite
brother' gave him a lot of privileges. Yoo Sangah was aware of it too.
Well, he trusted Sangah. He was more worried about what drunk Han Sooyoung would do
actually...then again knowing Yoo Sangah, if Han Sooyoung crossed the line she would beat her
up.
Kim Dokja locked himself in the room he had booked for the night. It was a big, fancy room that
he had no interest in. The bed looked very inviting, but he went for the armchair instead by the
large window instead.
He knew that opening the curtains would show him a wonderful view, but he couldn't have cared
less. He opened the bottle of alcohol waiting for him and poured himself some.
He let it become obvious again. He made them all worry.

It hadn't been in his plan. . .But it had happened anyway.
Maybe being brave wasn't his thing. Maybe he should just stop trying.
Just because things worked well for him in one field, doesn't mean it would in another.
He was always bad at these things, he knew it, and yet he went and gave it a shot. If he knew it
was bound to fail, why was he getting upset about it anyway?
It sometimes felt like he was insulting his parents by chasing after his mother; as though he was
saying that everything they had done wasn't enough. But he felt like the scum of the earth if he
didn't try to get her back after knowing what she had done for him.
Things were going well in his life. Everything was great, he had even sort of managed to make up
with Yoo Joonghyuk. So he thought he would give it a try and see if his mother would talk to him
at least now.
Only when he had called the penitentiary did he find out that she had been released a couple of
years ago.
What kind of son doesn't know when his mother's sentence ends? What kind of incompetent
bastard of a person didn't know when his own mother would be released from prison? A prison she
had put herself in just to save him.
He couldn't even get mad at her for not informing him. He wouldn't have wanted to either.
Especially after how he had behaved the last time. What right did he have to get angry at her? How
could he have done that?
The wine in his hand tasted like shit. Dionysus would be very offended if he heard him say that.
He wanted to try getting drunk, but he couldn't find it in himself to even finish one glass. The only
reason he had come here instead of going to any random bar in the city was because of the security
this place provided. He wanted to get completely wasted to the point where he couldn't even tell
himself apart from his reflection.
But the alcohol wasn't going down his throat. It tasted horrible. His pounding headache was so
horrible that it made him feel like throwing up.
With nothing better to do, he listened to his thoughts.
What was she doing? Was she fine? How's her health? He didn't suppose prison would have done
her well. Did she have someone to depend on when she got out? Whom had she gone to when she
was released? Was she happier now that he wasn't in her life anymore?
If she had done it to save him, why wouldn't she meet him now? Why was he still unworthy?
He had thought that she just didn't want him to see her in that state, in a drab prison uniform,
behind a glass wall, a number plastered onto her chest. But why not try to reach out to him once
she was out?
He wouldn't have, had it been him. And he had come to the realisation that he took after his mother
in a lot of ways.
She was out, so why not now?

Was it because she didn't know how to contact him? Did she just need time? Should he try
reaching out to her again?
He could find her if he wanted. But he wasn't doing it. He was still being a scared little boy hiding
away in a room when his mother was in trouble.
If he hadn't gotten out of that room that night, none of this would have happened. Maybe his life
would have been shit, and he wouldn't have gotten to where he was. Maybe he would have
committed suicide anyway and finished it right the first time. Maybe his mother would have to live
with the guilt of not being able to save her son, but at least she wouldn't have to be condemned by
the whole country, locked away for most of her best years.
He believed his mother would have done well if he hadn't been in her life. He believed she would
have written some other book perhaps, talking about her sorrows and regret about her son had he
died before. It might have even made a nice sequel to her first book, hearing the news of her son's
death from the prison, and writing it all down.
Kim Dokja remembered excerpts from her book. She was a brilliant writer, his mother.
Those words never left his head. The way she had written about everyone's opinions shackled her
down, her free spirit being restrained by the responsibilities society thrust onto her.
Stay at home, take care of the child and husband, there was no need to work, don't hold on to
useless dreams, it was not necessary.
His poor, poor mother.
'Think of Dokja' they had said. And she did. She dropped everything else and did it all for him.
He wished she wouldn't have thought of him at all. He wished she would have just run away,
leaving that alcoholic of an abusive asshole behind to rot.
He wished he hadn't been born at all. Then she wouldn't have had a reason to stay, she wouldn't
have the responsibility to care for a burden like him at all and she could have just run away to
safety.
Kim Dokja put the glass down on the floor and pulled his legs up, curling into himself on the
armchair. He let out a sigh and closed his eyes.
He wasn't allowed to feel that way. He did not have the right to feel that way. He didn't think he
had the right to wish that something would just happen and kill him right now when all these
people cared for him. Not when all the people in his life, all the people he cared about had done so
much just to make sure he was alive and well as he was now.
He would only be hurting other people by behaving this way. How nice it would be if he could just
gather up all his emotions, lock it away and never have to look at it again. He could be as happy as
everyone else and no one would ever have to stress because he was an idiot who couldn't handle
emotions.
Of course, the kids were worried. Of course, they all were. If he went around acting like this,
anyone would be.
Why couldn't he ever do anything right? Did he always have to end up hurting the people he
loved?
He should pull himself together. He always did this bullshit, bit off more than he could chew and
struggle with it. He had many people to think about now, he couldn't take too much time for
himself. He was a bit too stuck up in his own head. He was only going to worry the others more
this way.
He would go back to normal. He had to. If it didn't happen naturally, then he would just have to
force himself.
Kim Dokja didn't sleep that night, he just stayed in that armchair letting his thoughts consume him,
the opened wine bottle sitting there as he had left it.
When the sun rose, he got out of the chair and winced in pain, his whole body aching from the
cramped-up position he had been sitting in, his muscles and nerves screaming at the sudden
change.
He washed his face, brushed his teeth with the toiletries he had in the room and sent a message to
both Yoo Sangah and Han Sooyoung asking if they were ready to go home.
He was half expecting Yoo Sangah to send a message saying that she had already gone home in the
middle of the night, but it never came and he met the women outside the room they had stayed in
for the night.
And oh, to see their faces!
"You sure are glowing," he muttered to Han Sooyoung on their way to the elevator that would take
them to the ground floor.
"Shut the fuck up!" Han Sooyoung hissed through gritted teeth.
"Both of you are. Glowing that is," said Kim Dokja. "Twinkle twinkle," he added for a theatrical
emphasis he thought would be amusing.
Yoo Sangah flushed a brilliant shade of scarlet, burying her face in her hands. Han Sooyoung
tackled him to the ground for that comment and Yoo Sangah had to literally pull her off him before
she broke his nose. Kim Dokja found all of this very hilarious, really.
They had entrusted the driving to Yoo Sangah so that they wouldn't crash, and Han Sooyoung was
sitting in the passenger seat beside her. Kim Dokja kept breaking into quiet chuckles in the back
seat throughout their drive back home.
"You're staying over?" Kim Dokja asked Han Sooyoung as they got out of the car before Yoo
Sangah could park it in the garage.
"Yeah, I've got a shit hangover," Han Sooyoung said, stretching. "And I couldn't sleep a wink last
night."
"I did not need to know that," Kim Dokja scrunched up his nose, stepping away from her.
"Hah! Now you're disgusted?" Han Sooyoung spat. "You were running your mouth in the
morning."
"I said you looked happy, what's wrong with that?" Kim Dokja shrugged.
"I'll break your broken hand, bitch," Han Sooyoung grumbled but quietened down when Yoo
Sangah got out of the car, locked it and came over.
"Have some coffee before you go, Sangah-ssi," Kim Dokja said. "We can call your taxi in the
meantime."
"Order some hangover soup too," Han Sooyoung called trudging up the stairs to the house.
"I guess I can stay for coffee," Yoo Sangah smiled sheepishly.
There was no need for them to order anything because Yoo Joonghyuk had already prepared
hangover soup for them and was waiting. He looked surprised that Yoo Sangah was along with
them but said nothing about it.
"Ah, I don't need any," Kim Dokja said as Han Sooyoung ladled a generous amount of soup into
her bowl.
"I didn't drink a lot yesterday," he said when Yoo Joonghyuk glared at him. "Really, like barely
half a bottle."
"What were you doing in your room then?" Han Sooyoung said, putting her bowl of soup on the
kitchen counter before getting herself some rice to go with it.
"Nothing much," Kim Dokja shrugged. "Coffee, Sangah-ssi?"
"Ah, yes, please." Yoo Sangah gave a little smile and a bow with a soft "Good morning" to Yoo
Joonghyuk before hurrying over after Kim Dokja.
"Stop sulking, you big bastard," Han Sooyoung sighed and walked away with her food to the
dining room. Yoo Joonghyuk went after Han Sooyoung because he did not want to stay in the
kitchen with the other two.
"The same way you usually take it?" Kim Dokja was saying.
"Yes," said Yoo Sangah and Yoo Joonghyuk wished he could stop hearing things he did not want
to hear.
"You're eating too much," Yoo Joonghyuk said when Han Sooyoung went back into the kitchen for
seconds.
"Shut up," Han Sooyoung sneered at him. "I've left some for your boyfriend."
Yoo Joonghyuk grit his teeth and it took him all he had to not grab Han Sooyoung over the table
and kick her out of the house.
"I'm staying over, big man," Han Sooyoung said and Yoo Joonghyuk felt a headache coming. "Just
till afternoon. Get some sleep, have lunch. You know, the usual."
"You are shameless," Yoo Joonghyuk spat.

Han Sooyoung only grinned. "Kim Dokja doesn't mind having me here, and you know he'll give
me his portion of the food if you don't make any for me. You've got no choice but to do as I say."
Yoo Joonghyuk hated just how right she was. Why did she have to be every bit as annoying as Kim
Dokja was? The two of them made him want to commit arson sometimes.
"I can give you something in exchange, you know," drawled Han Sooyoung. "I've got so many
stories about Kim Dokja during all those years."
"I don't need it," Yoo Joonghyuk said even though he was curious as hell. If he made it apparent,
he would just be shooting himself in the foot. There was no need to find out when he wouldn't stay
for long. It was absolutely unnecessary.
The only reason he went back into the kitchen was because Han Sooyoung was the most annoying
gremlin he had the misfortune of meeting. He had made the mistake of thinking that she had
become better over the years. No, she was still the creature who walked the earth just to annoy
others.
Why were his sanctuaries in this house being defiled today?
The dining room had Han Sooyoung in it and the kitchen had Kim Dokja and Yoo Sangah standing
next to the coffee machine, talking, smiles on both their faces.
"So," Kim Dokja was saying. "What do you think?"
Yoo Sangah flushed pink and Yoo Joonghyuk immediately turned around and walked back into the
dining room. He was glad that Han Sooyoung was facing the other way and was focused on her
meal so she hadn't noticed him return just yet.
"I don't know, Dokja-ssi," Yoo Sangah's quiet voice said.
He shouldn't stand so close to the doorway. He should move away. Maybe go back and sit in a seat
across from Han Sooyoung at the table. He wouldn't be able to hear anything from there.
"Feelings are tough, aren't they?" Kim Dokja chuckled. This made Yoo Sangah laugh for some
reason.
"I don't think I should be taking advice from you, Dokja-ssi," she teased.
"I'm not advising anyone," Kim Dokja said, just as playful. "I was just giving my opinion. . .You're
better at this whole feelings thing than I am. So I believe you will have better luck at it than I do."
"Dokja-ssi, I don't think you are trying though," said Yoo Sangah. Kim Dokja didn't reply to it.
In the silence that followed the end of their conversation, Yoo Joonghyuk felt his chest tighten and
why wouldn't his legs just fucking move?!
"How does Saturday sound for a date, Dokja-ssi?" Yoo Sangah said finally. "Any ideas?"
"Oh! I'm honoured you'd ask me," Kim Dokja said brightly. "Uh, how about a movie date? Sounds
nice."
"Movie dates aren't a good idea though, Dokja-ssi," Yoo Sangah said sincerely.
"Huh? Why? I thought they were pretty romantic, watching a movie together."
"It might be after you get to know the person," Yoo Sangah explained. "But for a first date, not that
great. How are you supposed to get to know a person if you just watch a movie in silence for two
hours and then leave?"
"Ah, that makes sense. . .How about a picnic then? To get to know each other, talk a bit?" Kim
Dokja said. "Let me check the weather forecast . . .No chance of rain. So somewhere outside
perhaps? But just in case the forecast's screwed, a coffee date?"
"A coffee date? Simple but nice," said Yoo Sangah. "A bit of a cliché, isn't it?"
"That's exactly why it will work," Kim Dokja said and Yoo Joonghyuk hated the fact that he could
imagine his face right now, eyebrows slightly arched, eyes glittering, with his lips stretched in a
smug grin, mouth tilted up on one side, his teeth showing a little.
"You know who loves clichés?"
Yoo Sangah giggled.
"Her author brain will go boom," he said and laughed along loudly with the woman.
Yoo Joonghyuk remembered Yoosung saying that Sangah made Kim Dokja happy. Of course, she
did.
"Oh, there's a cat cafe near our old workplace, remember?" said Yoo Sangah brightly.
"I've never been there, but I've heard it's great," Kim Dokja said.
"Do you think that'll be fine?"
"A cat cafe, huh?"
Both of them lapsed into more laughter.
"Hey!" Han Sooyoung yelled and Yoo Joonghyuk jumped. He had forgotten about her.
"What are you two laughing at?" she called, raising her head.
"You!" Kim Dokja yelled back.
"Fuck off!"
Yoo Joonghyuk walked away as fast as he could before anyone noticed him or spotted whatever
look he had on his face.
Even though he couldn't possibly hear them once he was in the privacy of his own room, he
thought he could hear Kim Dokja's laugh ringing in his ears.
He went and sat down on the edge of his bed, putting a conscious effort into breathing normally.
He didn't ever remember being so jealous.
It was a terribly ugly feeling. It left a very foul taste in his mouth. He didn't have an issue with Yoo
Sangah at all, but it was just so vexing to see her laugh freely with Kim Dokja like that.
And he disliked Kim Dokja for being happy when he wasn't able to find that in his life at all. He
would have been fine with it if Kim Dokja had just been trying to move on, but he wasn't was he?
Kim Dokja had never had reason to move on like Yoo Joonghyuk. It had never mattered to him.
Yoo Joonghyuk inhaled sharply. Less than a month.
He would be gone and once he put sufficient space between them, he would move on once again.
And this time, it would be easier because he wasn't a naive idiot anymore. None of this would
matter anymore to him either, once he was gone.
Chapter 39
Chapter Notes
As an apology for the late update, 10K+ words chappie today

Where's the story going? Still no fucking clue
But it is what it is
"Um, Yoo Joonghyuk," Kim Dokja said on the dreaded Saturday morning. "If you are free today,
can you give me a ride?"
Yoo Joonghyuk was in the worst mood possible.
"No," he said shortly and Kim Dokja looked stunned at his response.
Well, for someone who kept insisting that he come to him for help, Yoo Joonghyuk sure was being
very contradictory at the moment. But he was not going to give Kim Dokja a ride to his date with
Yoo Sangah. He can book a ride himself if it's that fucking important. Yoo Joonghyuk valued his
own peace of mind more, he was not going to do it.
"I'm busy today," he added a bit late, hoping that he hadn't come off as way too rude.
"Oh, that's alright then," said Kim Dokja. "Sorry for the trouble."
He wasn't even troubling him, what was he apologizing for?
Yoo Joonghyuk hadn't exactly been lying when he said he was busy. He did have plans, he was
planning on going to the gym.
"This early?" said Yoosung when he changed into his gym wear and slung his bag over his
shoulder on his way out to the door.
They were all aware of his schedule, huh?
"Don't exercise too much and strain your muscles, Oppa," Mia said. "Did you know, Hyunsung
Oppa got hurt because of that?"
Yoo Joonghyuk nodded. He did hear about that in their group chats, about how Hyunsung had
pulled a muscle trying to keep up with Heewon's kendo. Hyunsung wasn't a swordsman, he tried a
bit too hard while attempting something new.
Yoo Joonghyuk assured the kids that he would take care of himself and left for the gym.
Kim Dokja had left some fifteen minutes ago and he wanted to get out of the house as soon as
possible. He had tried cooking something nice and sweet for the kids at first, and take his mind off
things, but every time he stood in the kitchen he had the urge to throw the coffee machine to the
floor and kick it until it shattered beyond recognition. Hence, he was going to the gym early, he
would spend his energy and take out his frustrations elsewhere.
He'd much rather be punching the sandbag hanging from the ceiling instead of seeing visions of
Kim Dokja and Yoo Sangah flirting, giggling and kissing. Fuck that.
Yoo Joonghyuk realised he was not doing anything to ease the children's concerns when he found
himself still in the gym after four hours. That was really no good. He decided to go back home.
Make a quick lunch, and feed everyone, just seven people this afternoon since Kim Dokja was
outside. And since most of them were children, something that would seem appealing to them.
Maybe pasta with a shit ton of tomatoes just to make it apparent that Kim Dokja wasn't there. He
would probably stay outside for dinner, he might not even come home for the day. He didn't have
to make food for him.
To his surprise, however, when he returned, he saw Kim Dokja sitting on the sofa, working on his
laptop, changed into the clothes he wore at home. And the elaborate tomato special menu he had
been creating in his head all shattered and fell away.
"You're back late today," Kim Dokja said looking up when Yoo Joonghyuk walked into the room.
"Why are you here?" Yoo Joonghyuk blurted out.
Kim Dokja blinked. "...This is my house?"
"No, why are you home? Didn't you have somewhere to go?" Yoo Joonghyuk snapped.
"I did," said Kim Dokja. "And I came back once I was done with it."
How short were dates these days?
"Yoo Sangah," Yoo Joonghyuk scrambled around in his brain to form a proper question. It did not
help that he was absolutely spent after spending all the energy he had at the gym.
"Date today?"
"Did you hear that?" said Kim Dokja, sitting straighter, a faint smile on his face. "Yeah, she's got a
date today."
"What are you doing here then?" Yoo Joonghyuk said, utterly baffled. What the fuck was Kim
Dokja doing at home if Yoo Sangah was out on a date? Wasn't he supposed to be with her? It's not
a date if only one person goes. It means they got ghosted. Was Kim Dokja bailing on Yoo Sangah?
"Working?" Kim Dokja said, confused.
"What?"
"What?"
Yoo Joonghyuk had no idea why that man looked just as confuddled as he was at the moment.
"Why aren't you with Yoo Sangah?" Yoo Joonghyuk said, gathering about his wits and restraining
himself from calling Kim Dokja the biggest idiot to ever set foot on the planet.
"Why would I be with Yoo Sangah?"
Because they had a fucking date today!
"What about the date?" Yoo Joonghyuk said, a vein jumping on his forehead. He did not want to be
going through this right now. He was tired and he still had to cook lunch, and prepare a new menu
because Kim Dokja was here and he had not planned for the man to be home for lunch. He did not
want to see Kim Dokja get all smug about breaking another person's heart either.
"What about it?" said Kim Dokja.
"Yoo Sangah is on a date," Yoo Joonghyuk said, taking a deep breath.
"Yes!" Kim Dokja cried, exasperated. "What are you trying to say?"
"Why are you not with her if she's on a date?" Yoo Joonghyuk snapped back.
Kim Dokja stared at him for a few seconds, and then he grinned.
"Is this something they taught you in high school?" he laughed and Yoo Joonghyuk contemplated
murder. If he had in fact bailed on Yoo Sangah, he was down for conspiring with her and getting
rid of Kim Dokja together.
"Han Sooyoung does this nonsense too. But she's a special character, so it's not really surprising
that she'd do it," Kim Dokja said. "I didn't think you'd be up for these things. I suppose you learn
things every day."
What the fuck was he on about?
"They're both adults," Kim Dokja said, shaking his head in amusement and returning to his work,
still chuckling. "I don't need to follow them like a teenager. Just because Han Sooyoung does it
often to make fun of me, doesn't mean I have to do the same."
"I'd like for Sangah-ssi to have a nice first date, even if it is an excellent chance to make fun of
Sooyoung."
"What?"
Kim Dokja looked up. "What?" he parroted back.
"Yoo Sangah is on a date," Yoo Joonghyuk said slowly, trying to get some more clarity on the
situation.
"Yes," Kim Dokja nodded, a faint frown on his face.
"With?" Yoo Joonghyuk prompted.
"Han Sooyoung."
What the actual fuck?!
Kim Dokja snorted, and hid his face behind his hand, trying to stifle his chuckles. He attempted
holding back his grin but failed and was soon throwing his head back, laughing until he was
gasping for air.
"Your face!" he managed to wheeze between guffaws. "What's with your face? Oh, my god—You
should—You should see your face!"
He made a grab for his laptop when it almost slid off his lap and fell. He sniffled and paused for a
second, but fell back into laughing at Yoo Joonghyuk again. He even put his laptop away safely on
the sofa allowing him to enjoy whatever he found so entertaining.
"I know," he said drawing large gulps of air into his lungs, clutching his side when he was finally
done. "Surprising, right? Han Sooyoung's got a date, with Sangah-ssi of all people. I really would
have liked to see her face when she got asked first."
"I mean, she asked her right here. I was like right in the kitchen, but I missed it. You were here too!
You missed it too! That's a shame, really."
Huh?
"She's been crushing on Sangah-ssi for so long—I thought she'd blurt out something embarrassing
when drunk, but that didn't happen and Sangah-ssi was the one who asked her out first."
Yoo Joonghyuk thought his brain was going on a reboot at the moment.
What?
Hang on. . .So all of that, that was—Kim Dokja was not going on a date with Yoo Sangah? They
weren't involved with each other at all? It was Han Sooyoung instead? Then what was all that
about? Friends talking?
Was this really what Han Sooyoung blabbed about? That Yoo Joonghyuk knew jackshit about this
because he didn't have any friends? Was that it?
But where did Kim Dokja have to go that morning then? He'd gotten all dressed up and all for it.
"Where did you go this morning?" Yoo Joonghyuk croaked out.
"Ah, that," Kim Dokja said, picking his laptop back up. "I went to get my measurements done."
"Measurements?"
"Yeah, I was worried my suit would be all tight for next Thursday," Kim Dokja explained,
adjusting his laptop on his lap. "I've been eating much more than I usually would have all last
month. I didn't want to end up with a suit too tight because I put on too much weight."
What the fuck was he talking about? Put on weight? Kim Dokja still looked as thin and unhealthy
as he had before. . .Okay, maybe a bit healthier now that Yoo Joonghyuk had forcibly stuffed
vegetables and fruits into the man's mouth with three meals a day.
"Did you?" he asked. "Put on weight?"
"Surprisingly, no," said Kim Dokja. "I mean, technically, I did put on weight, not too much though.
But my suit fit just fine, so that's that."
"Metabolism," Kim Dokja said, giving him a thumbs-up. "Wonder how long it'll stay though. I'm
not getting any younger."
Kim Dokja stilled for a second. "I'm already thirty. . .Jesus Christ," he breathed in English. "Where
did all the years go?"
Yoo Joonghyuk was reminded that he too would be turning thirty in a couple of months' time, but
he had other things to worry about at the moment. He had rudely refused Kim Dokja when the man
had asked him if he could give him a ride that morning so that he could go get his measurements
done right. Not a date.
Why did he have to go through all those shitty feelings for four whole days then? It was all in his
head?
"The kids said you went to the gym early," Kim Dokja was saying and Yoo Joonghyuk focused on
him. "I thought you were going to come back early...You said you were busy. Did you go
somewhere?"
"No," Yoo Joonghyuk found his words. "I had something on my mind."
"Oh, okay," said Kim Dokja, dropping his gaze back onto his laptop screen.
"I am," he added when he realised something. "I am busy."
"Shopping," Yoo Joonghyuk said. It was the stupidest excuse he had ever come up with. Fuck.
"Shopping?" Kim Dokja asked. "Groceries or something else?"
Yoo Joonghyuk just nodded.
"Groceries?"
He nodded again.
Kim Dokja's expression brightened. "Are you making something special?" he asked, his excitement
did not go unnoticed by Yoo Joonghyuk.
"Yes," he couldn't help but say.
He was not. Now he had to! Fuck! He even had to go shopping now.
"Looking forward to it," Kim Dokja sang, a smile on his lips.
Yoo Joonghyuk stood there for a few more seconds, mentally beating up his past self for jumping
to conclusions and ruining his own peace of mind for so long. And then with a start, he marched
off to his room, to deposit his bag. He still had to prepare lunch. And what the fuck was considered
special? Why won't his brain work, damn it?!
Mia scolded him when she found out that Yoo Joonghyuk had been in the gym all this time. "Oppa,
I told you to take care of yourself! You're being like Squid Ahjussi now!"
"What did I even do?" Kim Dokja said indignantly. "I don't even exercise."
Mia clicked her tongue at him, disappointed. "Why are you bragging about it?"
"I am not? Your comparison's just not right."
"Why do you go around saying nonsense, Ahjussi?"
"Hey, how's Hyung saying nonsense? You were wrong," snapped Gilyoung, annoyed at Mia
scolding Kim Dokja.
"Ahjussi, maybe you should exercise though," muttered Yoosung. "Maybe if you were like
Joonghyuk Ahjussi you wouldn't have gotten hurt so easily."
Kim Dokja's smile was forcible and sad. Yoo Joonghyuk said nothing about all of this.
He still didn't know what he was going to make for that day's special dinner. The lunch was devoid
of tomatoes though, not too spicy either and as an apology for his irrational behaviour that morning
he did put the little bowl of homemade pickled ginger conveniently near Kim Dokja.
Maybe something Western? Kim Dokja was someone who travelled a lot, and since it was for
business, he might not have had time to sit back and enjoy the cuisine. Or Japanese food maybe?
He did live there for a long time. He had never tried making different dishes though. That shouldn't
be that big of a problem, Yoo Joonghyuk was pretty good at these sorts of things, he just had to
focus a bit and follow the instructions properly the first time and then he'd have it down.
He had been planning on making pasta earlier. There were hundreds of kinds of pasta, and he had
hardly made five of them in all these years. Should he stick to what he knew, or go for it and make
something he had never made before?
"Kim Dokja," Yoo Joonghyuk said halfway through lunch, having reached a decision finally. "Get
ready to go out."
"Pardon?"
"Are you busy?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked, compensating for his earlier blunder of forgetting about
that important bit.
"I mean, I have work," said Kim Dokja slowly.
"Can it be pushed back?"
"I think so," Kim Dokja gave a little nod.
"Good, get ready to go out after lunch," said Yoo Joonghyuk, returning to his food, satisfied.
Mia stifled a little gasp and giggled along with Yoosung. Both Gilyoung and Namwoon groaned
loudly, clearly displeased. Donghoon sent a celebrating bear sticker through their group chat and
Biyoo was more focused on chewing the food in her mouth.
". . .What for?" Kim Dokja asked tentatively.
"Shopping."
"Huh?"
Yoo Joonghyuk was sure that Kim Dokja had heard him the first time and did not need him to
repeat it again.
The whole reason why Kim Dokja had been dragged out of the house last week was because he
was going through some shitty episode of his. Before he relapsed into that bullshit, making
everyone worry about this again, he should take the man outside for some fresh air every now and
then. . .at least until he was around.
And as he was shopping, he could sneakily get Kim Dokja to tell him what he actually liked to eat
so that he could make it for dinner.
Two birds with one stone. It was a perfect plan.

"Are you dressed?" Yoo Joonghyuk said, looking Kim Dokja up and down. He was wearing the
same clothes he wore at home.
"Clearly," Kim Dokja said, stuffing his wallet into his pockets.
Well, technically, what he was wearing could be passed off as something to wear outdoors. He
wasn't exactly wearing pyjamas, it was just a white shirt and brown trousers.
They had a stare down in the living room, until Kim Dokja threw his hands up, and stalked back to
his room to change.
It became apparent that he did not change when he returned within a couple of minutes with a
cream cardigan on top of his old outfit.
"This is the maximum you're getting from me," Kim Dokja said strutting towards the front door.
"We're going to the supermarket. What's wrong with what I'm wearing?"
"Han Sooyoung's right," Yoo Joonghyuk said, holding back a sigh and going after Kim Dokja.
"You have poor fashion sense."
"Good luck, Oppa!" Mia whisper-yelled as they put on their shoes.
"Hwaiting!" Yoosung held up two tiny fists as the kids saw them off.
"Kids, bye-bye!" Kim Dokja called, looking ever so slightly curious as to why they seemed so
happy about him leaving the house when they usually didn't. Yoo Joonghyuk was not going to tell
the man the truth. Ignorance really is bliss.
"Be careful, be good," Kim Dokja said walking out of the house. "If anything happens, call us,
okay?"
"Yes, Hyung!"
"Got it, Ahjussi."
"We will, Ahjussi!"
And they were off.
Once they were inside the car, Kim Dokja turned to him. "What's wrong with my fashion sense?"
"It's shit," Yoo Joonghyuk said dully, starting the engine and backing out of the open garage.
"How's it shit? I think it's fine," Kim Dokja said, frowning. "It's perfectly alright!"
Sure, people liked making fun of Yoo Joonghyuk's wardrobe saying all he had were black clothes.
Which was untrue, by the way, he had enough navy blue and dark brown articles as well. He even
had khaki cargo shorts!
Kim Dokja's variety only remained in suits. Otherwise, his pattern was just like Yoo Joonghyuk's.
Whites, creams, greys, light blues and browns. It was the same thing all the time.
"I value comfort over anything else," Kim Dokja was blabbing away and Yoo Joonghyuk was only
vaguely listening, he was more busy on not driving off the road as he punched in the address onto
the GPS.
"I am comfortable with what I wear. I think it's pretty neat. Nothing's wrong with my fashion
sense."
"Sure," Yoo Joonghyuk muttered. Kim Dokja did not take comfort in his half-assed reply and went
on a passionate rant justifying his choice in clothing and fashion. Yoo Joonghyuk was surprised he
actually listened to the whole thing, though he didn't say anything back.
In conclusion, Kim Dokja was a fucking nerd.
He went over something about colours, style, harmony, fabric, thread count and other bullshit that
was practically gibberish to him. How he had sat through it without yawning even once was a
wonder.
Kim Dokja only shut up because he saw an unfamiliar location.
"This is where you usually shop?" he asked as Yoo Joonghyuk looked around for a parking spot.
"There's one fifteen minutes away from home. . .I don't think this one's closer to yours either."
That was true. This place was further away from Yoo Joonghyuk's apartment as well.
"This is the only place that has your juice," Yoo Joonghyuk said, putting the car in reverse. He
could feel Kim Dokja's eyes on him as he turned the steering wheel. If he felt nervous just because
the other man was looking at him, he bit down on it and pretended he felt nothing at all, like he
used to do when he was first put on stage playing the nationals. Oh, he hadn't felt this in a long,
long while.
He was incredibly glad when he finally got the car into the spot without fucking up.
"What the fuck was that about a juice?" Kim Dokja said when they got out of the car. Yoo
Joonnghyuk realised that he was keeping quiet so as to not disturb him while reversing the car. Did
his worries show on his face? Shit, that was embarrassing.
"What about it?" Yoo Joonghyuk said leading the way towards the gigantic store that sold all sorts
of imported and expensive groceries.
"Huh?—Hey, wait up, you bastard!"
Yoo Joonghyuk neither slowed down nor showed any reaction that he had heard Kim Dokja. The
man caught up with him anyway as they entered through the sliding doors, a blast of cold air
hitting them the second they stepped inside.
Kim Dokja went to get a cart, but Yoo Joonghyuk grabbed his sweater and pulled him back before
he could. What was he going to do with just his left hand? He should just sit back and let Yoo
Joonghyuk do it.
Kim Dokja swore under his breath for that, and Yoo Joonghyuk ignored that as well.
The curiosity with which Kim Dokja scoped out the store made it obvious that he had never been
there before.
"It's better than the other one," Yoo Joonghyuk told him.
"The other one's closer though," said Kim Dokja and the wave of exasperation that hit Yoo
Joonghyuk was enough for him to stop walking for a second just so he could convey his feelings
through a look to Kim Dokja.
"What?" Kim Dokja shrugged. "It is closer."
"This place is better," Yoo Joonghyuk stressed.
"No, it's expensive," Kim Dokja corrected. "More price doesn't always need to mean better."
He knew that much. He wasn't an idiot, this place truly was better. It had a wider variety to choose
from and he had felt the improvement in quality. Yoo Joonghyuk closed his eyes, prayed for
patience, opened his eyes and tried talking but Kim Dokja waved an annoying finger in his face and
launched into a story.
"You know you can get hundred per cent organic fruits and veggies online and through other
stores, right?" he said, nodding at the big green board advertising the same.
"But they are only just claiming it is so. It's all just a gimmick. Of course, I'm not saying every
single one is like that, but the most popular ones are. They buy produce from the general store for
cheap, put it in packages along with other stuff with chemicals and maybe one or two items that are
actually like organic, as they claim. And then they sell it in a pretty little package with a nice heavy
price sticker on it."
"It's not really possible, you know? To keep the promises they advertise. Like logically, if you look
up the records, they wouldn't even have all the land required to grow the amount of produce they
actually sell every month. It never adds up. The genuine, local producers, are, unfortunately, local.
For many reasons; big fish swim and dominate the nicer areas, no profit equals no upgrades to the
establishment, not having the proper channels for promotions means the reach is pitiful, footfalls
limit to acquaintances, and so and so. It's a long list."
"You have experience in committing this kind of fraud, then?" Yoo Joonghyuk narrowed his eyes
at Kim Dokja.
Kim Dokja chuckled, shaking his head.
"My mother's a gourmet," he said. "She can tell these things apart so easily, it's freaky. This
happened once, she got those hundred per cent organic things, and it wasn't. She was furious. She
doesn't take to low quality very nicely."
"I don't exactly dabble in this," Kim Dokja said, looking over at a white cauliflower all wrapped up
with a transparent plastic wrap.
"What do you do exactly then?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked, taking the chance when he saw it.
"This and that," Kim Dokja shrugged.
"I'll throw this at you," Yoo Joonghyuk threatened, nodding at the cauliflower in the large box
before them and Kim Dokja's smile widened.
"It really is this and that," he said as he picked up the cauliflower and put it in the cart. Yoo
Joonghyuk frowned, took it and put it back in the box it was sitting on. Kim Dokja didn't know
how to pick food properly, dumb ass.
"Rude," Kim Dokja muttered.

"You're an idiot," Yoo Joonghyuk scoffed, finding a better, larger cauliflower and lowering that
into their cart instead. "Continue."
Kim Dokja gave a little sigh.
"Really, I hop around, doing things that catch my attention," he said. "And other factors. Like once
Han Sooyoung asked me to buy her a publishing house, and that's how I entered the media
industry."
Yoo Joonghyuk frowned at him.
"What the fuck are you saying?"
"What?" Kim Dokja said blankly.
"Okay, I'm not irresponsible, you know?" he added quickly. "I didn't just do that because Han
Sooyoung had asked me to. It's because her interests and my interests sort of aligned for the
moment. I found the idea of being an editor pretty cool, and they were trying to butcher a nice
story. It all worked out with something else I had going on at the time. A step for my end goal, you
could say."
"End goal?"
"Mhmm."
"What is it?" Yoo Joonghyuk demanded.
"Just...something," Kim Dokja said, scanning the shelves on his side. Yoo Joonghyuk slowed
down so that he wouldn't lose Kim Dokja who was acting like a little curious child picking up
everything that caught his eye, reading every single word on the item carefully.
Yoo Joonghyuk was quiet for five minutes, walking around the store, and then he spoke again.
"What do you do on your laptop all day?" he asked. "And if you say this and that again, I'm
shoving your head into the shelf."
"Why so violent, man?" Kim Dokja snorted, but he moved a step away from Yoo Joonghyuk
anyway. "I have stuff to go through every day."
"Elaborate."
Kim Dokja's shoulders slumped in resignation and he began explaining. "I read the news, look over
a few contracts and project reports, watch the market, see if there are any upcoming trends,
possible future endeavours I might need to consider. And then I just read my web novels."
"Oh, I guess I also do some reading practice. It helps when I'm trying to learn a new language," he
said. "Even if I can't speak it properly, as long as I can read, write and understand, it should work
fine."
"That's it."
'That's it' was not the conclusion that was appropriate for this.
Kim Dokja was an idiot who liked to downplay anything he did and Yoo Joonghyuk now knew
better than to just believe him when he said things.
Yeah, made sense that Kim Dokja would be glued to a screen all day.
"Sometimes I have to get on calls with other people," Kim Dokja was still speaking and Yoo
Joonghyuk let him continue without showing any signs of wanting to interrupt.
"Because I have to. Not the best part of my day, for sure, but it comes with the profession, I
suppose."
When Kim Dokja didn't speak for another two minutes, Yoo Joonghyuk considered it safe to talk
again.
"You travel a lot."
"Yes," Kim Dokja nodded. "It's sort of an obligation to attend events, functions, receptions, parties,
this and that. I'd like to sit at home if I was allowed to, but you can't have it all, now can you?"
"I'm not complaining," he said hurriedly, with a nervous glance at Yoo Joonghyuk. "Well, I guess I
am. But I'm not ungrateful for all I have. It just gets a bit tiring sometimes."
Yoo Joonghyuk really didn't know how to react to that, so he kept his mouth shut.
"You're resigning soon," Kim Dokja said, bringing him back to earth.
"Hmm."
"Did gaming get tiring too?"
Yoo Joonghyuk nodded. In fact, gaming had gotten tiring since he started doing it as a means to
earn money. He had considered quitting so many times during his whole career.
There was one time he enjoyed it completely, not because he liked doing it, but because of
everything else that had been happening in his life during that time. It just seemed so wonderful at
that time.
Well, he had gotten way too ahead of himself then. He might as well have been imagining it all
from his own screwed-up point of view. He didn't want to visit those memories right now.
Kim Dokja must have been a serious fan of his. He didn't think that the man would look so
disappointed about him retiring.
"Are you going to give coaching a try?" Kim Dokja asked.
"Maybe," Yoo Joonghyuk said. He wasn't really interested at all, but he supposed he had to do
something. Was Kim Dokja interested in gaming? He remembered the kids saying he was horrible
at video games. And even back then, he barely knew anything about games, and only played to
humour Yoo Joonghyuk once in a while.
"You should start a restaurant instead," Kim Dokja said cheerfully. "It'd be a complete hit. I'll be a
regular if you do decide to open a restaurant."
Yoo Joonghyuk's grip on the shopping cart's handle tightened until he felt his fingernails dig into
his palm.
He was so familiar with that tone of voice. And how it made his heart hurt.
How would Kim Dokja react if he found out that the only reason Yoo Joonghyuk had considered
his fifteen-year-old self's dream seriously was because of the words that pretty, starry-eyed boy had
told him in this very manner?
Something in the passing, something offhanded, but with the confidence of saying that the earth
revolved around the sun.
He would probably laugh at him.
Fuck Kim Dokja, man. He always did this.
"I do not want to open a restaurant," Yoo Joonghyuk said stiffly. "Cooking is a hobby."
"Aw, man, that's a shame," Kim Dokja said putting back some random canned item he had been
holding back into its place on the shelf. "I guess I'll have to make the best of what I'll get, then."
"No, seriously, can I hire you as my cook?" Kim Dokja said sighing wistfully. "It's delicious,
really, your food."
"I told you, right? My mother's a gourmet through and through and I've had the chance to try all
sorts of delicacies, but nothing beats your cooking. It's insane! I usually don't eat much, but I really
can't say no to what you make. Tastes like heaven, I'm not kidding."
Yoo Joonghyuk was certain that his ears were burning. His whole face felt hot, in fact.
Kim Dokja didn't look like he was lying at all. The way his eyes were shining, the grin on his face,
the little wave his hands were doing as he spoke in earnest all made his heart beat wildly in his
chest.
Seriously, fuck Kim Dokja, man. He always fucking did this.
Damn it!
Kim Dokja was a cruel, cruel bastard. And Yoo Joonghyuk was a fucking fool for not learning
from his mistake the first time.
"Oh, wow, does anyone even drink that?" Kim Dokja said, picking up the juice carton Yoo
Joonghyuk had just put in their cart.
"You."
"Hmm?"
"That's the one you like," Yoo Joonghyuk told the idiot.
"I like this?" Kim Dokja said, confused as he looked down at the carton he was holding. "I don't
really have a preference, you know. I'll have anything . . . Except tomatoes. I'm fine with
everything else."
"Are you dumb? You do have a preference," Yoo Joonghyuk scoffed. "You like that one."
"And how would you know that?" Kim Dokja said, slightly put off at being called dumb.
Yoo Joonghyuk did not answer that stupid question. That was the only drink Kim Dokja would
drink all of it without paying much attention. Yoo Joonghyuk had observed him enough to know
that. Kim Dokja, usually, would take a sip or two at the beginning, and then leave the glass there.
Only when he was getting up from his seat would he notice the glass sitting there with its contents
and finish it reluctantly because he wasn't one to waste food and then he would take it to the
kitchen and clean the glass.
Except for this one brand. He finished it before he knew it, and he was at least taking some water
in that way.
Yoo Joonghyuk remembered Kim Dokja nagging him about drinking water all those years back,
the man would pester him continuously about it, fill his water bottle himself, and even send
messages in the chat during his streams from the other room just to remind him to drink some
water, stretch his muscles because he was sitting in the same position for so long, look away from
the screen so that he wouldn't strain his eyes too much.
But he wouldn't do it himself. . .Come to think of it, Kim Dokja had always been like that. He was
always shit at taking care of himself. He hadn't bothered with it back then. . .
"It still makes no sense to buy a whole litre for just one person," Kim Dokja was saying reading the
label on a pomegranate juice of the same brand.
"It's not for one person," Yoo Joonghyuk said.
"Who else likes that? I remember the kids hated it," Kim Dokja muttered. "...I want to try this one,"
and he put in the carton he was holding. Pomegranate, huh?
"I like it."
Kim Dokja gave him one short glance before walking away in front of him. He looked stupid.
"Do we always have to buy this much?" Kim Dokja mused at the meat Yoo Joonghyuk was buying
and Yoo Joonghyuk couldn't help but roll his eyes.
"Are you even aware of what goes on in your house?" he said.
"Of course, I do," Kim Dokja huffed in indignance. "As long as nothing dangerous happens, I don't
think I have to step in. They'll do just fine without me."
"Fool."
"What? What now?"
Yoo Joonghyuk sufficed with imagining himself picking up the large fish sitting out on display on
the ice by the tail and slapping Kim Dokja with it. Give Dream Kim Dokja a couple of hits too,
while he was at it.
"What are you doing?" Yoo Joonghyuk narrowed his eyes at Kim Dokja who was raiding the
refrigerators and freezers with the frozen foods.
"What?" he said innocently, taking what was the third large tub of ice cream, a black current
flavour this time to sit with the other vanilla and chocolate ones.
"We have a lot of mouths to feed," Kim Dokja said reasonably and Yoo Joonghyuk had to hold
back the urge to sock the idiot's head in public.
So what? They had always had so many mouths to feed. Who bought so much? Was there no
control established in the house at all? Kim Dokja did say he had no 'rules' in the house, but he was
supposed to! If it was something that could make the kids sick, then he had to have some rules.
Sure, it was getting hotter, but that did not mean he could just gather ice cream like it was
emergency supplies for the apocalypse. What the fuck?
Yoo Joonghyuk felt a headache coming when Kim Dokja neatly dropped a tub of strawberry ice
cream over the chocolate sitting in the cart and then added a lychee flavour to their mix.
"That's enough," Yoo Joonhgyuk snapped when he saw the sixth fucking ice cream tub, mango this
time being put in the cart.
"Okay," Kim Dokja said brightly, moving his hand away from the freezer.
"Don't put them back," he said quickly when Yoo Joonghyuk made the move to do so. "I'll just
order them online then. Let's get it now. Come on, come on," he said giving the cart a little shove
with his foot and ushering Yoo Joonghyuk away before he could leave the unnecessary things
behind.
Kim Dokja showed signs of stopping so many times and Yoo Joonghyuk had to move his grip
from the back of his sweater collar to his arm so that it didn't look suspicious to the other shoppers
while allowing him to pull Kim Dokja along anyway.
The little aisle with cooking gadgets and other related items was clearly Kim Dokja's favourite.
Yoo Joonghyuk had to literally drag him away from there, but they didn't leave without a set of
dinosaur cookie cutters, animal-shaped silicone moulds, an icetray with star moulds and a portable
ice crusher.
"You said you wanted to make Bingsoo," Kim Dokja argued back. They were seconds away from
having an actual physical brawl over the shitty gadget.
"I have a better one at home," Yoo Joonghyuk snarled. He really did. A nice, sleek, sturdy one he
had bought a couple of years back.
"You have one," Kim Dokja corrected. "I don't."
"Get a better one then," Yoo Joonghyuk snapped glaring at the plastic ice crusher displayed on the
cardboard pack. It was clearly not going to last long, why was this dumbass even buying it?
How was he a businessman when he did such a shitty job of using money properly?
Finally, Yoo Joonghyuk won. Some threatening, flexing his fists and scathing swears did the job,
and with a very miffed scowl on his face, Kim Dokja gave up and the ice crusher went back onto
the shelf.
Two ladies, who had been passing by with their own two shopping carts giggled at them.
Yoo Joonghyuk frowned but ignored it.
This had happened a couple of times already.
If Kim Dokja hadn't been busy on his phone, he would have noticed the blushing, wide-eyed look
that even the girl behind the till was giving them as they went to the billing counter together.
Yoo Joonghyuk figured out what could possibly be crossing her mind. It was pissing him off.
Why now? Why not before? Why did everyone seem to notice it when they weren't actually
involved? What about them when Yoo Joonghyuk had been so head over heels for Kim Dokja? No
one seemed to think it was strange then, but now everyone was going around giggling just because
they stood together for a few seconds?
Maybe it wasn't him, Yoo Joonghyuk came to the conclusion as Kim Dokja said, "I've got it",
leaned over, their shoulders touching and put his phone out to scan the QR code as Yoo Joonghyuk
transferred the bags back into the cart so that he could wheel to their car.
It was probably because Kim Dokja stood just a few inches closer to him than he would have
previously in public.
Meaning that he used to put a conscious effort into showing that he wasn't involved with Yoo
Joonghyuk at all back then. He had given some bullshit about their reputation being at stake and
something about how people talk. Yoo Joonghyuk wasn't sure how much of that bullshit he was
supposed to believe.
He stopped thinking about it and pushed it to the back of his mind. He wasn't dying to find out, he
was fine with not knowing.
As he loaded the shopping bags, which were higher in number and weight this time, Yoo
Joonghyuk had a lot of feelings. This was all because he had brought Kim Dokja along, the man
who was the cause of all of Yoo Joonghyuk's misery, making him heave the heavy bags from the
cart and into the trunk.
"D'you mind making a detour?" Kim Dokja said when the car was five minutes away from the car
park they had just left. He fiddled with his phone for a bit, connected the phone's Bluetooth to the
car and pulled up an address.
"I just have something I need to pick up."
"Why didn't you say this before?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked.
"I was thinking I'd send someone to pick it up," Kim Dokja said simply. "But now I'm outside
anyway, I might as well do it myself."
Yoo Joonghyuk supposed the post office wouldn't be doing any illegal deals and followed the
directions on the little display screen before him.
Kim Dokja went back to staring out of the window as he usually did when he sat in the car, not
driving.
Both of them gave a start when an unfamiliar tune chimed out in the car. Kim Dokja's phone was
ringing.
'Dionysus', it displayed on the screen.
Kim Dokja gave a start and tried to get his phone, fumbling a bit.
"Just speak," Yoo Joonghyuk said, pressing a button on the steering wheel and answering the call.
He had listened to Kim Dokja speaking on his phone countless times, the other end put on speaker
because his hand was occupied with something else at the moment.
He was fine with listening to more gibberish that the people who called Kim Dokja spoke to him
about. It could be interesting at times but otherwise sounded like a whole load of nonsense. . .But
that was his personal phone though, Yoo Joonghyuk noted.
Yoo Joonghyuk had come to tell Kim Dokja's two smartphones apart and he could tell the one Kim
Dokja had finally got into his hand was his personal one. And the person on the other side of the
phone was speaking.
"Hello, friend," a foreigner said jovially, in a drawling voice, in English. Yoo Joonghyuk was
supposing he was a foreigner. He didn't know any Koreans with the name 'Dionysus', but there
could always be strange people in this world, who was he to judge?
"Did something happen?" Kim Dokja asked, his previous inhibition about talking in the car leaving
him and he relaxed into his seat.
Yoo Joonghyuk thought this was better. It was always better to listen to both sides of the
conversation, especially when Kim Dokja was speaking in a language that wasn't Korean. It kept
messing with his head and Yoo Joonghyuk was fine without that bullshit in his life, thank you very
much.
"That's my question," the man on the phone said. "I heard from a little pretty birdie of mine that
you took a room recently and stayed the night."
What on earth was that even supposed to mean?
Kim Dokja sighed. Like it was some regular Tuesday occurrence that annoyed him.
"Nothing happened," he said. "I just had something on my mind. You didn't have to call for that."
Yoo Joonghyuk decided to give up. Kim Dokja was a fucking weirdo and was friends with weird
people, if he tried understanding any of them, his head was probably going to combust.
"I just wanted to check if you were alive," said Dionysus and Kim Dokja wanted to bury his face in
his arms in defeat.
"Have you checked now?" he said dullly.
"Oh, yeah, you're alive," Dionysus said, sniggering. "I waited for a while, just in case your death
made the papers. Can you imagine the mess that would have caused? And all the parties people
here would have thrown?"
What sort of conversation was this even? Yoo Joonghyuk couldn't help but glance at Kim Dokja.
Kim Dokja noticed him looking and waved a hand, asking him to ignore it.
"But I guess you made it, congratulations!"
"Are you upset that you didn't get to supply the drinks for the parties had I died?" Kim Dokja
joked.
Yoo Joonghyuk really didn't see how this was supposed to be funny, but the man on the other end
found it very entertaining.
"Of course, I'd be the one supplying the drinks at your funeral," the man said. "Is that even a
question? Would you trust anyone else with it?"
A small smile graced Kim Dokja's face. "Do you need to ask?"
The man made a short noise, saying something in a language Yoo Joonghyuk had never heard
before. Kim Dokja seemed to understand it though.
"I haven't told the Queen yet," Dionysus said and Kim Dokja's smile faded. "I'm still debating, to
be honest. Take no offence, brother. We are just looking out for you."
"I appreciate the concern, but, it's not required," Kim Dokja said. "Don't tell her. It was nothing."
Kim Dokja missed his mother, to be honest. Both of them. He had the urge to call Persephone, the
only mother he could actually reach at the moment and talk to her, just listen to her voice, but he
didn't want to worry her so he held it in.
"If you say so," said Dionysus.
He had full right to be suspicious though. Kim Dokja only visited Dionysus' place and took a room
if he had something very serious going on in his life. It was a place where he was certain nothing
could get to him, complete security, both from outside and from himself.
There wouldn't be a single thing in the room that he could use to hurt himself. Even the curtain
rods were flimsy so that should he try to hang himself, they would snap and give way. No knives,
no blades, even the glass bottle of wine couldn't be broken easily, no bathtub inside the bathroom,
no internet connection in the room. There was even security placed outside just in case he tried
something when he was intoxicated out of his mind.
Kim Dokja had stayed in the room only thrice so far. The first time, he had Dionysus
accompanying him in a room adjacent, and Kim Dokja had just contemplated life, getting
completely drunk for the very first time. He still didn't know what his drunk habits were, and there
was no one to see in him in that state either. He was glad for that, he didn't really want anyone to
see his shameful state, whatever it might be.
The second time was when he was going through a tough time and was absolutely terrified that his
newest endeavour would bring everything crashing down. He had wanted to drink himself stupid
and he did just that.
The third time was last Tuesday.
Every time Kim Dokja visited the establishment, Dionysus would be informed. It was slightly
annoying, but he supposed he had brought this upon himself.
"How long are you planning on staying in Korea?"
Dionysus' question caught him off guard. And it did not help that Yoo Joonghyuk had stilled as
well, listening.
"What do you mean?" Kim Dokja said.
"I've told you this before, brother, but South Korea does not suit you," Dionysus said and he heard
a soft clink and he could imagine the man putting down the glass he always seemed to have in his
hands.
"Every time you got there, you just...rot."
"What the fuck're you saying?" Kim Dokja said. He took great offence to that statement. Seoul did
nothing of that sort to him. "I'm doing just fine!"
Dionysus hummed lightly, dismissing his words easily.
"I've never really had opinions about what you generally do," Dionysus said dully. "But not that
place. It's just shitty—"
"It's my homeland you're talking shit about," Kim Dokja said, irked.
Dionysus snorted. "Since when did you have a sense of patriotism? I'm not wrong though, you
become all mushy and weird when you go to South Korea."
"I'm going to hang up if you are just here to talk rubbish," Kim Dokja threatened.
"I know that you know that I'm right," Dionysus sang. "You get overly emotional and stop thinking
rationally when you are there."
"You're being ridiculous," Kim Dokja told him firmly.
"Isn't it time yet?" the man said, sounding slightly irked. "How long are you going to play your
little game? You sure are collecting a nice little family there. Aren't you satisfied yet? It's been
years, I thought you would have had enough by now."
Kim Dokja pinched the bridge of his nose, frowning. This bastard really liked spying on him. He
was collecting intel, Kim Dokja was aware of it, but he also knew that Dionysus couldn't do
anything against him with it, so he let it be.
But better Dionysus than Olympus. Dionysus only had his best interests at heart, he was annoying
but helpful and trustworthy to a certain extent.
Yoo Joonghyuk was looking at him and Kim Dokja felt his lungs close up.
Dionysus, that asshole!
He would have liked to take the phone off the Bluetooth but that could come off as suspicious.
He wasn't doing anything bad! Dionysus just made it sound like that. He wasn't playing any
games.
Reasonably speaking, he had no reason to defend himself in front of Yoo Joonghyuk, but Kim
Dokja wanted to anyway. He really wasn't acting like a spoilt chaebol who was going around
having fun. This was important to him.
"You know, we don't do well in these kinds of things, brother," Dionysus said and Kim Dokja
bristled.
"Jealousy is not a good look on you," Kim Dokja said scathingly. "Don't project your issues onto
me, brother."
"Why so defensive, brother?" Dionysus said and Kim Dokja felt his patience being tested. It was
always like this with those Olympus bastards.
Dionysus sighed heavily. "Say whatever you want, but you have to admit you act strange when you
are at that place, brother—"
"I am fine," Kim Dokja said coldly. "I'll say this again, your concern is not required."
This made Dionysus laugh.
"Take it as a warning then, my friend," Dionysus said. "Return before you make another mistake
—"
"I do not make mistakes," Kim Dokja held in his urge to end the call. He pretended he didn't feel
Yoo Joonghyuk glance at him at all.
"You do when you are there, and that's the point," said Dionysus. "You make mistakes when you
are—"
"Is rubbish all that comes out of your mouth?" Kim Dokja snapped.
"It's not rubbish," Dionysus said, his previous drawl vanishing from his voice. "You made a
mistake, years ago. Do you remember?"
Of course he did, he faced the consequences of that failure even now. These things would never
leave, would they?
"Why are you bringing that up now?" Kim Dokja glossed over the involuntary twitch he had given,
the way his hand had dropped from the seatbelt it had been fiddling with all this time.
"Everyone else remembers, brother," said Dionysus testily. "Your mistake could have cost
everything. No one wants a rerun of that, now do we?"
Kim Dokja really wanted to retort and say that at least he wasn't a drunkard because he couldn't
handle rejection from the family. Then he realised he would get slapped back with a worse
comment for that. He himself had turned to killing himself. Not the best look, and not the topic he
wanted to bring forth with Yoo Joonghyuk there.
He should have just cut the call or said that it was unimportant. He thought he could relax since it
was just Dionysus, probably calling him to talk nonsense. He should have expected this really.
He couldn't even leave the running car. This was the fucking worst.
Maybe Dionysus did have a point and he was just screwed in the matters involving feelings and
other shit like most of the Olympians. It wasn't his fault that he had way too many ties in South
Korea. He couldn't just forget it and leave it behind. He might have become a bit emotional, but he
wasn't an idiot as he used to be now.
"I was young," Kim Dokja said with a sigh, collecting himself and maintaining an emotionless look
on his face. "Things happened. . .Stop worrying, and don't go bothering mother and father, either. I
am not going to do something stupid this time."
"These things aren't age-related, brother," said Dionysus heaving a sigh as well. "But I guess I'll
take your word for it. Just keep in mind, Dokja, your mistakes cost more than just your life."
Kim Dokja pressed his tongue against the roof of his mouth, clamped his teeth together and kept
his gaze on the road he could see ahead through the windscreen. He knew that much.
"You might not care, but others do," Dionysus was blabbering. "Sometimes I think you
underestimate the absolute carnage your absence could cause. Your mentality is completely insane.
Personally, I quite like it. The world, not so much."
"What am I talking about?" Dionysus sniggered. "When have we ever given a shit about the
world?"
Kim Dokja let his head drop onto the seat behind him and closed his eyes wearily. He really
shouldn't have picked up the shitty call.
"Forget the world, your parents don't like it all that much either," Dionysus was saying. "So, here's
my advice, brother—"
"I don't need your advice," Kim Dokja said sharply.
"I'm giving it to you either way," Dionysus drawled. "It worked well for you last time, didn't it?
Remember? We are wanderers, wander we must. Chase your freedom, brother. Why shackle
yourself down?"
"I'm not joining your cult, fuck off," Kim Dokja sneered and he thought he could see Dionysus' grin
in his head.
"My cult's not all that bad," said Dionysus. "You should give it a go once. I'll let you have a trial
run. You'll see why people like being there—"
"Because they're crackheads from rich families—"
"Because of the sense of belonging they get!" Dionysus said loudly, cutting off Kim Dokja's
remark.
"Doesn't change the fact that they're all junkies," Kim Dokja scoffed. "People who come from
money and provide you with connections. Don't rope me into your bullshit, I'll fly there and break
your shitty thyrsus and that statue of yours."
"You can't destroy my temple!" Dionysus gasped, though Kim Dokja heard the amused undertone
in the man's voice and he wanted to roll his eyes.
"You're not a god."
"Might as well be."
Kim Dokja bit back a groan. Olympus bastards and their stupid god complexes. Dionysus was just
a bit too loose up in the head, making him slightly more approachable from the rest, that's all.
"Stop yapping nonsense," Kim Dokja said. "And stop calling me for unnecessary things like this."
"How's it unnecessary? I told you, brother, I was worried," Dionysus sighed. "I just wanted to tell
you to get your shit together. . .What a wonderful phrase. Get your shit together, Dokja."
"Go fuck yourself, Dionysus," Kim Dokja didn't miss a beat.
It was so annoying, being able to use just one hand, especially the one he wasn't used to. He
couldn't wait to be rid of the cast on his arm. Kim Dokja pulled the seatbelt across his chest loose,
reached out and cut the call.
Then he sat back, wishing he could just vanish at the moment.
. . .Maybe he shouldn't have ended the call just yet. Maybe he should have let Dionysus blabber
away for the rest of the ride so that he wouldn't have to end up like this.
He was not going to take a call from that bastard on speaker ever again. Fuck!
Maybe he should just jump out of the running car and be done with it.
Anything was better than sitting in this uncomfortable silence with Yoo Joonghyuk. Kim Dokja
wondered if increasing the fan's speed would do anything to ease the tension. No, it would just
make it so much more obvious. He should just leave it alone and it would go away...Hopefully.
"Brother?" Yoo Joonghyuk said, breaking the stifling silence.
Fuck, it didn't go away.
"Not blood-related," Kim Dokja said. "It doesn't really mean—We don't exactly consider each
other brothers. There are rumours about Dionysus being my mother's illegitimate son, and it turned
into a running joke."
Kim Dokja felt the inexplicable urge to answer anything Yoo Joonghyuk asked at the moment, just
so there wouldn't be any misunderstandings and all the bullshit that Dionysus had said would just
get ignored.
Please, just forget about it. It wasn't even worth remembering in his opinion.
Luckily, that was all they spoke about until Yoo Joonghyuk stopped the car at the post office and
Kim Dokja told him that he could just sit in the car and he would be back soon.
Yoo Joonghyuk didn't want to feel this again, the curiosity just eating him up, the need to grab Kim
Dokja, hold him down and demand answers.
Sure, he wanted to know. But did he need to though? He didn't need answers to survive, it really
wasn't important if he knew what that strange man had spoken about on the phone. He didn't have
any context for half of it.
He would have dismissed it as he had done for the other conversations he had overheard before.
But he couldn't because the man had said something about Kim Dokja leaving. Something about
South Korea not being the place for Kim Dokja.
Then where was he supposed to go?
Yoo Joonghyuk concluded that this Dionysus man knew nothing about Kim Dokja. At least he
didn't know what he was like at home. If he did, he wouldn't have said something so ridiculous.
He watched Kim Dokja trot out of the post office through the window, carrying a large box on his
left arm.
How was he going to open the door now? The fucking idiot. Yoo Joonghyuk should have known
better than to listen to him and sit in the car. With a frown, he clicked his seatbelt loose and sat up
in his seat so that he could lean over and open the door for Kim Dokja as the man neared the car.
"Thanks," Kim Dokja said, struggling with the door for a few seconds and finally pulling it wide
enough for him to enter.
Yoo Joonghyuk would have snapped at him to put the package in the back, but he didn't think Kim
Dokja could manage it in the state he was, so he took the package from his lap, turned around and
took it over the seats and dropped it into the backseat.
"Seatbelt," Yoo Joonghyuk said, sitting back straight in his seat and clicking his own seatbelt in
place.
"I know," Kim Dokja muttered and did the same.
Kim Dokja was in a subdued mood after that call and it put Yoo Joonghyuk in a sour mood as well.
It made no sense why he would act like this, but it was rather off-putting for some reason.
They were only glad to finally reach home. Kim Dokja was tasked with going and opening the
front door, leaving Yoo Joonghyuk behind to lug in their shopping bags.
He could take a couple of rounds to get everything in, but fuck that. Yoo Joonghyuk was a strong
man, he could manage it.
And he did. He considered it an accomplishment and was rather proud. Kim Dokja stared at him
with a very blank expression, it didn't look like it was in a good way though.
"Hey, hey, fill it with water," Gilyoung called, running after Mia who had snatched the icetray that
Kim Dokja had shown off proudly just a few minutes later.
Mia got a bottle of cold water from the refrigerator and the two kids moved to the sink so that they
could pour the water into the tray. Once they were done, wasting a lot of water in the process,
Gilyoung and Mia took one end of the tray and slowly moved towards the refrigerator.
"Oppa, can you put it in?" Mia asked, seeing that they couldn't move to open the door to the
freezer. Yoo Joonghyuk relented and put the icetray in. He felt an annoyance bubble in his chest
again when he saw the space below stuffed with ice cream tubs they had just bought.
Kim Dokja obviously found no issue with all this, the bastard.
"Can we make them today?" Yoosung asked the man, holding the silicone mould.
"Let's make it today for snacks, then," Kim Dokja nodded and Yoosung's face lit up.
"We're making milk pudding for snacks!" she announced to the other two. "If you don't get here
right now, I'll be the only one who gets to do it."
The response was immediate.
"Do you even know how to make it?" Yoo Joonghyuk said.
"Of course, I do," Kim Dokja said dismissively and suddenly a lot of unnecessary things Kim
Dokja had bought made sense.
Dionysus was clearly wrong, Yoo Joonghyuk was a hundred per cent certain of that. Watching the
kids carefully squeeze in little drops of milk pudding that had been dyed red into the mould, with
Kim Dokja watching over them, Yoo Joonghyuk was certain that had Dionysus seen the man now,
like this, he would admit it himself that he was wrong too.
The milk pudding came out nicely, in the shapes of cute rabbits that jiggled when the plate was
moved. The ears were pink and used chocolate chips for the eyes.
Yoosung took pictures immediately and sent them to the group they were all in. Donghoon was the
first one to reply. Next, was Jihye saying that she was jealous that she couldn't have her master's
cooking.
Yoosung corrected her and told her that it was Kim Dokja who had made it, not Yoo Joonghyuk.
It was true, Yoo Joonghyuk simply watched the milk boil this time and let Kim Dokja do the rest.
Mia took Yoo Joonghyuk's phone so that she could talk in the chat as well and told them that it
wasn't all Squid Ahjussi, but the kids who had made it with him. In fact, Squid Ahjussi was helping
them, not the other way around.
No one bothered saying anything about it.
Kim Dokja was surprisingly okay at making desserts. Maybe it had something to do with him
working at Elysium.
Whatever it was, the rabbits were cute, so Yoo Joonghyuk saved the picture Yoosung had sent. He
did not acknowledge the part of the image that had Kim Dokja's hand holding the plate.
The special dinner that night was Murim dumplings. Yoo Joonghyuk never did manage to get Kim
Dokja to give any clues as to what he liked and he was forced to extract from his memories. It took
a lot of work, to make them in such large quantities, but he was rather pleased with the end result.
It was all practice in the end.
Kim Dokja did like Murim dumplings. It was obvious from the way the man's eyes had shone like
a child's when the food was placed on the table.
From all the thirst trap photos Kim Namwoon had snapped and sent Lee Jihye of the dumplings
and broth, it was safe to assume that the girl had cried.
Lee Seolhwa asked if they were celebrating something that day, because Yoo Joonghyuk didn't
often make dumplings for everyone.
'Yoo Joonghyuk will eat dumplings every day if he could
No one knows what goes in that mind of his'
Yoo Joonghyuk stared at the message Kim Dokja had sent. He wasn't exactly wrong, if he could,
Yoo Joonghyuk was down to surviving on Murim dumplings, but why would he bring it up now?
He ignored all the weird emoticons the others on the group chat were sending him.
Han Sooyoung sent tons of laughing emojis and ended her barrage with a 'Loser'.
Yoo Joonghyuk knew for a fact that she was aiming that at him, but Kim Dokja seemed to think it
was an attack against him instead. So he told the group chat about Han Sooyoung's date.
The topic was successfully switched, everyone attacking Han Sooyoung now, wondering who she
went on a date with. Kim Dokja cleverly gatekept that information and let the others bother Han
Sooyoung about it. Even Yoo Sangah joined in on the fun, teasing Han Sooyoung.
Everyone kept an eye on their phones throughout dinner, laughing and giggling while sending their
texts every now and then to contribute to the discussion.
It was very entertaining.
Two more weeks left, Yoo Joonghyuk reminded himself as he chewed on his food. It didn't taste as
good as always, something was missing. He had an inkling as to what it was.
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Surely It Was Fate

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Surely It Was Fate

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/49114030.

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Surely It Was Fate

"Hey, how many bones did you break?"

"That nurse Noona said you fell from a skyscraper."

"Stop blocking the way and go somewhere else."

"Go after your friends instead of blocking the way."

"Annoying," he had said in a breeze-like whisper.

"Oi, what did you say?"

Or that's where he was supposed to be.

A few seconds of silence passed between them.

It was a pitiful sight.

"What are you trying to do?"

Another one of Joonghyuk's questions was ignored. The audacity, honestly!

"Do you want to do something?"

What a strange name.

Whatever, Yoo Joonghyuk didn't care.

He put Dokja back onto the ground, being sure to be gentle.

Dokja did not be careful next time, the little shit.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Yoo Joonghyuk growled.

"Sorry," Dokja muttered again, causing Joonghyuk to huff out in exasperation.

"You are following me then," he said.

"You should sit somewhere else," he said.

"I don't talk respectfully to bullies," Dokja shot back.

Yoo Joonghyuk stared at the boy. Bully?

"You, you bastard," Kim Dokja sneered.

"Y-You keep stalking me—"

"I'm not stalking you!"

"You insult me every time I try to eat—"

When did he ever do that?

"You grab my neck and choke me—"

What bullshit was this brat saying?

"Kim Dokja, do you want to die?" Yoo Joonghyuk snarled.

"Try me, fucker!" the child threatened back.

"You're wrong," said Kim Dokja.

Joonghyuk's ears burned.

"Stop pretending to be cool. You look stupid," said Kim Dokja.

"You are a kid, what do you know?"

"More than you apparently."

Kim Dokja, Yoo Joonghyuk realised, was a smartmouthed asshole.

But he was still stupid.

"You thought I was bullying you, fool."

It did not salvage Joonghyuk's dignity as he had hoped.

"I was trying to save you," Yoo Joonghyuk argued back.

"Oh, yeah, you stupid brat."

"I told you to use honorifics."

"How do you know my name?" was what he said instead.

"Are you sure about that?"

Kim Dokja glared at him, then looked away quickly.

"I know. It's nice," said Kim Dokja.

Instead of getting reprimanded, Yoo Joonghyuk got praised.

"Dokja is doing so much better now that you've become friends."

"What about yours, hyung?"

"Not around either," Joonghyuk said.

"You live with your relatives too?" Kim Dokja asked.

"With that?" Kim Dokja said, nodding at Joonghyuk's broken limb.

"Yoo Joonghyuk, you son of a bitch!"