Ian Jones

LBST 2301
1512

A Good Life

Crunched for time on a sunday afternoon, just before the Washington Commanders
played the Philadelphia Eagles at 1 p.m., I sat down with the father of my girlfriend, Brian
LaRoche. He personifies the phrase family man, someone who always enjoys quality time with
friends and family. Brian is a boisterous man in his early 50’s and one who's never to shy away
from a glass of bourbon at any occasion. His summer weekends are spent on his boat or by the
pool, and when it gets too cold, he spends time in his condo in Florida during the winter months.
He recently married a woman he has spent several years with in a super small and lowkey beach
wedding and inherited two step-sons that he enjoys talking about sports and fantasy football
with.

Over the course of his life, he lived by the mantra “work hard, play hard” in every aspect.
Not knowing what he wanted to do in life, he sold insurance fresh out of college and outworked
everyone around him. Years later, he runs his own wealth management company and works at
most 3 days a week, most of which at home. Brian sacrificed a lot in his career for his only
daughter, my girlfriend, and those around him. He understood that what he was giving up things
for were more important to him, and used that as motivation to work harder. Brian now enjoys
the fruits of his labor to the absolute fullest extent, which is why he was the absolute best
candidate I could think of to interview about living a good life.

I opened the interview with the overarching question, “What is a good life to you?” He
proceeded to chuckle a bit and respond, “A good life is exactly what I have now, being
surrounded by those I love and getting to do exactly what I want, whenever I want. I only have to
answer to my wife, and I get to boss the kids around. I’d say I’m doing pretty good.” I was fully
prepared for this answer as no matter what point in life he’s been, he always expresses his
gratitude, both specifically and in general. Following this, I asked the next course question,
“How does one go about living a good life?” and also to no surprise, he quickly answered, “Hard
work and taking advantage of every opportunity that comes your way.” Evidently speaking from
experience with that answer.

I then asked Brian the remaining course questions, “How is happiness defined and
understood,” as well as, “What are the problems we as humans must address?” He took a deep
breath and explained, “Well… happiness is what you make it. It’s totally subjective person to
person and heavily depends on what somebody values. For materialistic people, it’s physical
objects, but for me, it’s getting to enjoy time with the people I love. Understanding what makes
you happy is the first step in achieving it, and perhaps it looks different for everyone else. I think
it’s hard for people to realize they’re happy while they’re… ya know… happy. It’s easy to look
forward to something you know will bring you happiness or to look back fondly on a time where
you were happy. I feel like this leads to a lot of people taking happiness for granted and I try my
best to not…this is a pretty broad question.” For the next question, he replied, “Oh man where to
even start. There’s a lot wrong in every aspect of society. I don’t want to get into the weeds on
this one, so I'll leave it at a simple, we need to treat others with more respect and
kindness…yeah… that I think will take us a long way.”

Transitioning from the course questions, I decided to ask him the additional questions
provided in the assignment rubric. Firstly, I asked him, “What were your best and worst
experiences?” to which he replied, “Oh wow, fortunately I remember more of the good ones, but
divorcing [daughter’s] mom and having to split custody wasn’t too good of a time and feeling
like I was missing half of her life never felt too good, even during the weeks spent together. On
the other and more positive side of that question, seeing [daughter] grow up and mature always
brings a smile to my face, even after going away to college. In recent memory, having a wedding
with all of your friends and family coming together was definitely my best recent experience.
Taking trips all across the world never fails to make me happy, most recently our trip to Croatia
for our honeymoon where we got to explore all different parts of the country. I feel like I could
go on and on answering this question.”

The next question I asked Brian was, “What would you add to your life right now?” and
he sarcastically answered, “A football team that wasn’t completely terrible.” Having grown up in
Virginia and attended Virginia Tech, he naturally became a fan of the Commanders and Hokie
football teams, unfortunately neither of which are currently very good.

I followed up that question with another, “Do you have any regrets?” to which he very
quickly quipped, “Absolutely not. I actively try to deny myself regretting anything in the past
and wondering what I should’ve done differently. Instead, I live in the present and occasionally
the future, but never the past, at least regretfully.” In a similar vein, I then propositioned, “Are
you where you’d thought you’d be?” To which he also replied, “Absolutely not. Having come
from a family where my father was a dentist, I didn’t think for a second that I would be
successful with a degree in business. School was never really my thing and all the way through
my early 20’s I figured I was destined to fail. It wasn’t until I got a couple opportunities to come
my way, did I have something to take advantage of and make my situation better.” As I
mentioned in the biography, he was working a dead end job selling insurance in his early 20’s
with no real outlook or plan moving forward.
 Wrapping up the additional questions that were provided, I asked him, “What’s one event
you would go back to and why?” and to no surprise, he answered, “100 percent the birth of my
daughter, that was without a doubt one of, if not, the happiest days of my life and I would
absolutely love the opportunity to go back and relive it over and over again.”

To conclude the interview with Brian, I asked the final question, “What advice do you
have for me?” As someone who spends a lot of time with him, his answer came as no surprise,
he said, “Work hard and act with honesty. As someone who values intentions over outcomes,
there’s not not much more people can ask of you.”

Our interview connects with Haidt’s Happiness Hypothesis in multiple facets. He

understands that we all have an elephant as well as a rider, and sometimes the two don’t perfectly
coordinate, but whatever the rider does, is what we intended to do. This also fits under the
deontological beliefs of Kant, where the action itself is examined as to whether or not it itself is
right or wrong, and not the outcome like under utilitarianism. Brian also clearly derives love
from his attachments, to which he diversifies between friends and families, but also co-workers.
He also emphasized that him having no idea what to do and the fear of failure drove him to work
as hard as he could, fitting right in with the theme of using adversity to be the best possible
person oneself could be. Brian, while non-practicing, values the teachings of religion and
believes that the lessons taught are vital to achieving internal happiness. Aside from internal
happiness, chapter 5 tells us that we do actually derive happiness from external sources, and
while he’s not reliant on them, he’ll certainly tell you that his boat makes him extremely happy.
Finally, cooperating with others and treating other people with respect and kindness fits into the
chapter 3 ideals of reciprocity and the belief and notion that it will make it’s way, not only back
to you, but to others as well.

All things considered, I had a great time interviewing Brian as it felt like a normal
conversation. It lasted for 45 minutes and led up all the way up to the Commander’s game at 1,
fortunately for me. He is someone I genuinely look up to as an example of hard work paying off
to the highest degree possible, without having a massive ego and forgetting where he came from.
He routinely emphasizes that all of the success he has is always achievable, while also
acknowledging the opportunities and breaks that have gone his way. Brian is someone who often
gives sage advice and it usually reflects what has worked well for him in his own life
experiences.