TAMIU FYWP Essay 1 Genre Analysis 1301

Unit 1 Peer Review Workshop

Directions: Mark your responses directly onto the paper you are editing. Or, you can write your
answers here. If you are unsure, simply state that something seems off but you are unsure of
what.

1. Is the essay in MLA format? If not, what suggestions can you make to the author to get it
to MLA format? Here is the link to OWL Purdue MLA so you can check:
https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/research_and_citation/mla_style/
mla_formatting_and_style_guide/mla_general_format.html

The essay seems to be in the correct MLA format, its just missing the citation.

2. What is the thesis statement? Mark it in the essay.

“In order to expunge the information, the community uses a transportable poster which
includes simplicity, snappiness, and emphasis.”

3. Is the author’s thesis statement clear and direct? Does it mention the discourse
community and the genre it uses? Does it contain the three subpoints that each body
paragraph will discuss? If not, give the author suggestions for revision.

The thesis statement is simple, clear, and direct. It mentions the community, but it does
not say the name of it. The thesis mentions important words that can tie to the genre, but
it isn’t specified. The three subpoints are mentioned in the thesis.

4. Does the author primarily focus on discussing the meaning of the text and how it
contributes to accomplishing the goals/expressing the values of the community? If not,
what are they focusing on? How can they switch their focus?

I believe the author does focus on the text, the meaning behind it, and the reasons why it
is there. He could incorporate more details about the values of the community, but there
are little to no details about non-important things.

5. Does each paragraph contain relevant topic sentences that let the reader know what the
paragraph is about and aren’t too vague or too specific? How can the author improve
their topic sentences if you believe they need revision?

Every paragraph contains a topic sentence that is relevant to the rest of the paragraph, I've
noticed that it might take one to two sentences for the author to explain what the
paragraph will be about, but it is still properly explained.
TAMIU FYWP Essay 1 Genre Analysis 1301

6. Where could the author use more detail to further illustrate his/her explanation of the
discourse community and/or analysis of the text in the genre? Does the author use
examples to demonstrate his/her point in each of the body paragraphs? Mark these in the
text.

The author should include the full name of the discourse community instead of the
acronym. The author uses the text on the poster as an example to prove his points.

7. Does the author maintain objectivity during his/her essay? Does the author show
confidence by avoiding words like “probably,” “likely,” “maybe,” etc? Mark in the text
where the author is sharing their own personal opinion, using I, me, you, etc, or where
they sound unsure of what they’re talking about.

The author does tend to use likely multiple times throughout the essay, but removing
them, or changing the word will easily solve the issue.

8. What are three things that this author does very well?

1. The author does a great job explaining what is on the poster and
why it's important, he does this without going off-topic.

2. The introduction is well-constructed.

3. The author provides context on how students might come across

this poster in a simple and understandable way.

9. What are three revision suggestions you have for the writer?

1. Try to elaborate that the poster is transportable throughout the

essay, especially in the second body paragraph.

2. Maybe elaborate on how the quotes in the first paragraph also

attempt to attract the reader to their program.

3. In the second sentence of the second body paragraph the phrase “it
is likely why they have chosen to adapt to a more quick sounds off
and could better be explained.