How do we as human persons relate with others?

Our ability to engage in meaningful interactions with other people, our surroundings, and everything
around us is rooted in our capacity for self-awareness and transcendence. Before we begin to relate
with others, we must first be aware of ourselves as rational individuals capable of determined and
reasonable action. Interpersonal relations are made outside of the self. possible when the self
becomes aware of the other, which includes everyone and everything.

Take a moment to look at your seatmate. Are you aware of his or her existence? The answer is yes,
since you can perceive your seatmate through your senses. Your classmate is the other, or a being
that exists outside of your self. Now take a look at an object on your desk. It may be a pencil, ballpen,
piece of paper, or any object. That object is also an other, as it is a thing that also exists outside of
your self. Now, which of the following actions is more reasonable?
You begin talking to your classmate, telling him or her about a funny experience you
had in school.
You begin talking to the ballpen on your desk, telling it about a funny experience you had in school.

Of course, you will select the first statement, since it describes a reasonable and logical human act.
You only interact with objects when you need to use them. You reach out for the pencil and paper
only when you need to write, and you do not need to talk to these objects to enable them to enact
their purpose. Interacting with other human beings, however, is a more complex act. What drives
human persons to interact with their fellow humans in a more meaningful way?

Our human nature not only enables us to recognize the self that defines our individuality, it also
enables us to recognize that other human beings also possess a self. We are able to relate
meaningfully with other human beings because we consider ourselves as essentially the same. This
notion of recognizing the self in the other is how philosophers define interpersonal relations.

The interaction between the self and the other is related to the philosophical concept of
intersubjectivity, which is the mutual recognition of each other as persons. It cannot be denied that
we interact with other beings in the world, but some of these beings that we interact with are
persons and must be recognized as such. Intersubjectivity also carries the meaning of "a unique
relationship between distinct subjects," It refers to the characteristic of the human person to engage
in a very intimate and personal relationship with others who are different from him or her but who
are also like him or her. This is possible because the person has an inner life or interiority. Having an
inner life allows the person to give himself or herself to others. This also allows the individual to
receive others in his or her life and relate with them. Intersubjectivity also allows a person to become
closer to others in many different ways. In everyday social interactions, persons have the ability to
agree and cooperate with each other. There is also the experience of shared or "common" knowledge
and shared emotions such as grief, joy, and love.

A closer look at everyday interactions reveals instances where the self interacts with the other.
Philosophers identify various levels of self-other interaction. The first is the simple awareness of the
existence of the other. When we see other people walking down the street, we are aware that there
are other beings unique from us, and that they exist outside of our own awareness or perception.

A deeper level of interaction between the self and the other, on the other hand, is the awareness of
the self as being seen by others. Imagine, for instance, that one of the people you are watching
suddenly stops and looks straight at you. You are immediately aware of this person's action as an
other this stranger is looking at your direction. Also, you are aware of another significant fact- you
know that the stranger staring at you is aware of you as a person. This self-consciousness is
considered by philosophers as a defining characteristic of the self-other relationship. Now imagine
that the person is not a stranger but someone familiar: a family member, a friend, even your crush.
This awareness of the person staring at you will initially result in a feeling of self-consciousness, even
shame. In fact, several questions will begin to run in your head, such as "What is he or she thinking
The unique phenomenon of the human gaze is considered a defining characteristic which sets apart
human interaction from the interaction of other species. Also, the awareness of the "self in the other"
is an important element in all other aspects of interpersonal interactions. The way we act with other
people is often influenced by our ideas of how these people see us. Therefore, if we have the idea
that our parents think of us as quiet and obedient, we often act that way with them. However, when
we are with our friends and we think that they see us as outgoing and boisterous, we also adjust our
behavior to conform with how we think they expect us to act. This is also true when considering social
contexts: how we behave in church is different from our behavior in a lively party.

These actions are referred to as "seeming" - where an individual presents himself or herself in a
certain way when dealing with others. Persons take on "roles" or act out characters when dealing
with certain people or when in certain situations. This is considered as an unconscious, natural act on
the part of humans. However, there may be instances when people behave a certain way in order to
intentionally deceive or manipulate other people. Surely you have heard of the terms "plastic" and
"sipsip", which refer to manipulative behaviors that are done by some people in pursuit of selfish
interests.

What characterizes a genuine human interaction?

Most human interactions, however, are not based on deception. Since our human nature drives us to
uphold dignity and goodness, our interactions with others are also geared toward what is good and
beneficial. These lead humans to strive to achieve deeper and more substantial interactions and
relations with other people. This deeper and more genuine interaction is called a dialogue, and this is
made possible when the self realizes that the other is a genuine and unique individual. When two
individuals begin to view each other as an other - that is, truly acknowledging each other's presence -
then that is the beginning of an authentic relationship and a dialogue.

A dialogue is an interaction between persons that happens through speech or the use of words,
expressions, and body language. The person is a being who is open to others, and is capable of
receiving others in a dialogue.
 Ordinarily, we think of it as a kind of communication that usually occurs through a conversation.
However, it must be noted that a dialogue is not confined to words. Actions, gestures and other
expressions may be used to convey a person's inner life. Because persons are beings with inner
lives, the words uttered during a dialogue are rooted in each person's inner life. Whenever a
person speaks, he or she expresses a personal interiority and communicates this part of himself
or herself to another person. This is the reason why it is not possible to have a dialogue with a
material object, a plant, or even a pet. Only beings with interiority or an inner life can engage in
a dialogue.

A person's words, expressions, and body language become the means by which he or she is able to
express a part of himself or herself to another person. Apart from expressing and conveying oneself,
the person is also capable of receiving the words, thoughts, emotions, and ideas of another person.
The dialogue, therefore, becomes a means by which persons are able to share in each other's lives.
The notion of a dialogue becomes clearer when we reflect on the nature of our conversations with
other people. The conversations you have with casual acquaintances are different from those with
people who are closest to you. Casual conversations with other people often consist of discussing
news or occurrences. We often conduct our normal conversations in this manner. But when we are
with friends and family, we are comfortable discussing more personal issues like life goals, emotional
problems, or moral dilemmas. You will not engage a random stranger on the street in a conversation
about whether or not you should give up your ambitions in life for the welfare of your family. Instead,
you will seek out a person whom you consider most trustworthy and reliable to listen to your
thoughts and concerns.

A dialogue occurs when two persons "open up" to each other and give and receive one another in
their encounter. Genuine dialogue occurs when persons are willing to share themselves with one
another. The awareness of each other's presence as a true person is defined by the acceptance of
each other's uniqueness and differences. When each individual enters into a dialogue with this
mindset, then it is truly a dialogue between equals.
How does intersubjectivity define our interactions with other persons?

Philosophers agree that it is important for humans to pursue and achieve genuine relationships to
attain development. Human persons naturally seek and are able to achieve and maintain genuine,
meaningful relations with each other. The human person is considered as a "being with others," which
means that his or her identity and destiny are shaped by relating with others. Human existence is a
continual dialogue with the other, and that the self becomes whole through interaction with other
people and his or her surroundings.

Empathy, or the ability to share emotions, is an important aspect of intersubjectivity. This emotion is
driven by a person's awareness that the other is a person with thoughts and feelings. Human persons
are actively aware of the emotional states of other people, and they use this information to
determine their own actions and behavior. Empathy enables us to experience another person's
emotions, such as happiness, anger, and sadness. In a manner of speaking, sympathy is "feeling with"
and empathy is "feeling in." For instance, how would you behave around a friend who just informed
you that his or her parent has died? Empathy enables you not only to share your friend's grief and
offer him or her comfort during a difficult experience, but also to feel the grief of that person even if it
wasn't your own relative's death. Persons can also share more positive emotions such as joy and
pride. Examples include basketball enthusiasts celebrating their favorite team's victory, and parents
taking pride in their child's achievement during graduation. By allowing us to share in another
person's emotions, empathy also enables us to place ourselves in their shoes.

Another characteristic of meaningful and genuine human relationships is availability, or the

willingness of a person to be present and be at the disposal of another. You may have encountered a
situation where you needed help. For instance, you went to an unfamiliar place and cannot locate the
place where you are supposed to go. What will you do? You might think of asking directions from the
people living in the area. How will you feel if you were asking for directions, but the people you were
asking kept ignoring you? What will you think about these people? Let's say a stranger approaches
you in the street asking for help. What will be your first reaction? Will you try and help that person or
will you ignore him or her?

The ethics of care is an ethical theory that emphasizes the moral dimension of relationships and
interactions. This moral perspective encourages individuals to help other people, most especially the
vulnerable. Proponents of the ethics of care believe that people have a moral obligation to respond to
the needs of other people; and one cannot turn a blind eye on the problems of others. People relate
to each other in different ways and this gives rise to varying degrees of dependence among people.
Those who are able to help or give assistance should consider the specific needs of the people they
are helping.

Not all human interactions, however, are positive. There are those who view other people negatively
and consider human actions as being influenced by selfish interests. This pessimistic view considers
human relationships frustrating and often inauthentic or deceptive. A person that adopts this negative
view is said to be experiencing alienation. This arises when a person ceases to view the other as a
distinct and authentic person and merely considers the other person as a mere object or a means to
satisfy personal interests.

You might have encountered people who behave in a rude and offensive manner against others
whom they consider "different" from them. We often hear the term "matapobre" used to describe
well-off people who look down on other people that they consider "poor." In restaurants, you might
have heard a customer berating the serving staff and even insulting them for committing a mistake.
How did you feel when you encountered these situations?

How can philosophy help you evaluate your relationships with others?
Important values related to intersubjectivity include acceptance of differences and embracing
diversity. We understand that each person is unique, therefore, differences will exist among groups of
people. When we look at physical traits and even behavior, we can see that no two persons look and
think the same. When we consider views, beliefs, and ideas the differences become much more
pronounced. We have to accept that people will have different views and beliefs. What unites us all is
our shared humanity and dignity.

The recognition of our shared humanity and dignity is what drives us to extend assistance and act
with concern towards others, especially toward individuals or groups that experience hardships and
discrimination. For instance, those who are physically and mentally challenged often experience
hardships because of their condition. We have to realize, however, that these individuals, despite
their limitations, can have the same skills as those who are fully able in mind and body. They also have
hopes and aspirations like us, and many of them have successfully transcended their disabilities to
become productive and happy individuals. Examples of people with disabilities who have successfully
risen above their physical limitations to live productive lives include Helen Keller, Nick Vujicic, and
Roselle Ambubuyog.

Helen Keller (1880-1968) was an American author, political activist, and the first deaf-blind person to
earn a bachelor's degree. She lost her hearing and sight when she was an infant due to an illness.
Growing up, she developed a system of signs to communicate with her family. When Helen was seven
years old, she met Anne Sullivan, a teacher who was herself visually-impaired. Anne taught Helen to
recognize objects and learn their names, and Helen quickly learned. Helen went on to attend an
institute for the blind and deaf, and at the age of 16 entered the Cambridge School for Young Ladies
Four years later, she was admitted to Radcliffe College. Helen was accompanied and guided by Anne
Sullivan throughout her studies. Despite being blind and deaf, Helen learned to "hear" people's
speech by feeling their lips with her hands. She became proficient at using braille and reading sign
language. She eventually learned how to speak, and became a well-known public speaker. Soon after
graduating from college, Helen spent her time giving speeches and writing books. At age 22, she
published an autobiography, The Story of My Life, which described her life and struggles growing up.
The book became the basis of a popular play titled The Miracle Worker.

Nicholas James "Nick Vujicic (born 1982) is an Australian evangelist and motivational speaker who
was born with phocomelia, a condition in which a person is born with no arms or legs. Nick's condition
meant that his early years were full of challenges. Nick was born with two small and deformed feet,
and an operation enabled him to use his toes to grab and manipulate objects. Because of his
condition he was bullied as he grew up, but it did not stop him from pursuing his dreams. At 21, hand
evangelist. In 2005, he founded Life Without Limbs, a non-profit organization and ministry. He
currently lives in California with his wife and two sons.

Roselle Ambubuyog (born 1980) is the first visually impaired Filipino to graduate summa cum laude
from Ateneo de Manila University in 2001. Roselle lost her eyesight at the age of six due to an illness.
Despite her handicap, she was a consistent academic honoree in her school, graduating valedictorian
in both elementary and high school. Her excellent perfomance in school enabled her to participate in
regular classes with sighted students. In Ateneo, she studied Mathematics and the university
supported Roselle by purchasing software and equipment that made braille copies of exams, lecture
notes, and other classroom materials. Due to her outstanding academic performance, she gained
many awards and recognitions. Among them were Ten Outstanding Students of the Philippines, the
BPI Science Award from the BPI Foundation, and the Gawad Sentenaryo Award from the National
Centennial Commission. Upon her graduation, Roselle continued to study for a master's degree and
also devoted her efforts helping visually-impaired students. She initiated "Project Roselle together
with the Rotary Club of Makati-Avala, and provided schools with software and equipment, such as
computers and printer, that will aid blind students in their studies. She worked at Freedom Scientific,
Inc. as a consultant in developing software for people who are visually-impaired and those with
learning disabilities. She also worked as product and support manager at Code Factory, which is the
world's leading provider of software that allow the visually-impaired to access mobile devices such as
cell phones. Roselle is also a motivational speaker and has given several talks and seminars to
students, teachers, and professionals
Various advocacies supporting persons with disabilities have resulted in the institution of events and
commemorations such as the Paralympics, an international sports competition modeled after the
Olympics that features athletes with disabilities. The United Nations has also instituted days of
awareness, such as World Down Syndrome Day (March 21), World Autism Awareness Day (April 2),
and International Day of Persons with Disabilities (December 31, Countries around the world are
encouraged to celebrate these days with activities that highlight individuals with disabilities. In many
of these events, people with disabilities come together to showcase their abilities and talents in talent
shows, symposiums, and conventions. These events bring together "able" and "disabled" people in
the spirit of friendship and cooperation.
Another group of people who experience hardship and discrimination are the underprivileged. They
have less in terms of material possessions. Despite the differences in lifestyle, social class, and
experience, our shared humanity allows us to engage with each other respectfully and render
assistance to each other. The act of assistance or giving, however, must be done in the spirit of
mutual respect. One must extend help wholeheartedly, without reservation or a patronizing attitude.
We help those in need not because we need to feel better about ourselves, but we do it out of an
obligation to uphol the dignity of our fellow persons.e graduated with a degree in Commerce and
went on to pursue a career as a motivational speaker