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Communication Theory Assignment: Rock Bottom

Jilly R. DiMartino

Department of Communication Studies, University of North Carolina Wilmington

COM 305: Communication Theory

Dr. Bruce C. McKinney

November 11, 2022

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Communication Theory Assignment: Rock Bottom

Most kids growing up are preparing to go to college. From the second they start

middle school to the last day of high school, every second counts. Usually, college is a

four year process of hard work to earn your bachelors degree. Society has put this idea

in our minds that this is the only way for you to succeed in life. To get into a good

college, graduate in four years, then get a professional job immediately after and start

living your life. For me, the process has taken a little bit longer than the average person.

In fall of 2017, I attended The Pennsylvania State University as a freshman. I was a full

time student for nearly two years before everything went downhill. Growing up, I have

always had Major Depressive Disorder, but I was able to manage it. By consistently

staying in contact with my therapist, my family, and having a good work life balance.

During the spring of 2019, I stopped calling my therapist and tried to deal with my

depression on my own.

This resulted in me going into a deep depressive state that I like to call my

hibernation period. I stopped going to class completely, and completing any assignment

for any of my classes. When it came to exam time, I would go in without studying and

see what score I could get just from guessing. This was my weird version of fun at the

moment. There came a point in time that I did not leave my apartment for three whole

weeks. It was difficult to do the simplest of tasks, like going to the grocery store, or even

taking the trash out to the dumpster. During all of this, my insomnia caused me to only

sleep two nights per week. Every day I lived life as a zombie, I wouldn’t be physically

active or mentally productive whatsoever. By the end of the semester I had failed every

single class I took. A total of 16 worthless credits. I told myself that this was just a
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mistake that couldn't possibly happen again. I went back for the next semester, in hopes

that something would magically change, and I could be my normal self again.

Unfortunately that didn’t happen, I failed three more classes and received a “D” in two

classes. Now for the fun part, revealing this wonderful news to the people who think I’m

doing perfectly fine in life and school. How do you tell your parents who are spending

$50,000 a year for you to go to school, that you simply stopped going to classes and

failed everything. This conversation lasted about two full weeks. My academic advisor,

family, and therapist all spoke to me and agreed that I need to “withdraw” from the

university, which is a nicer way of saying that I needed to drop out. They all agreed that

that was the best decision in order for me to get help from doctors. It was a long and

treacherous year and a half to climb my way out of rock bottom and get into the

University of North Carolina at Wilmington and continue my journey towards my

bachelors degree.

Symbolic Interaction Theory goes very well in analyzing this pivotal moment of my

life. A huge factor of this theory is self-concept, and the relationship between an

individual and the society they are in. “Individuals develop self-concepts through

interaction with others” (West & Turner, 2021, p. 247). So what happens when you

completely withdraw from any interaction with others? That is the question I had to face,

and symbolic interaction theory analyzes how and when my self-concept starts to shift.

After essentially failing out of my dream school, my self-concept was completely

shattered. I had not reached the standards I had set for myself in school, life, and as a

person. When thinking about my sense of self, I perceived society thinking of me as a

failure, embarrassment, and a disappointment.

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As I stated earlier, society has created this idea of a schedule that everyone should

follow to be successful. When I was failing all of my classes all I could think was that I

had to stay on track with what everyone else was doing. Otherwise, I would step out of

line and be seen as different whether it was for a good or bad reason. “People and

groups are influenced by cultural and social processes” (West & Turner, 2021, p. 249).

This is a major assumption made about symbolic interaction theory and in my

experience it is very accurate. The social process of college made me want to avoid

dropping out immediately and stay in as long as I could and try to dig my way out of the

hundred foot hole I created.

A large part of being in college is the social aspect surrounding it. Within

interactions of people, there are symbols that will affect our life going forward and where

we choose to go in that moment. “Symbols are described as objects, people, or abstract

ideas, and themes. Action is depicted as the result of one interacting and mindfully

responding to symbols through the interpretive process” (Braun, 2015, p. 5). In my so-

called group, everyone had their own classes to worry about, maybe a job, and then

their social life. Everyone was able to manage this with no trouble at all, which resulted

in a group sort of mentality that everyone was on the same level. This was known as the

ideal college life that you are expected to live. I was trying to disguise myself for the

longest time as being a part of the group. I made it look like I was getting good grades

and as happy as could be. I wanted to make sure as far as the public knew I was doing

just fine. Making the dean's list was a popular symbol at that time, you were expected to

be on it every semester. Once I wasn’t on it for the first time, I felt the shift of me being
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separated from the group. This one symbol had a large impact on my sense of self and

what to do at that time.

When you graduate from high school, the first thing that usually happens is that

you will put whatever university you are planning to attend in the fall, in your instagram

biography. This symbol is presented to the world stating that you have made it through

high school and are following society's rule that you will now attend a four year

university. I could not be more proud of myself when I put “PSU” in my instagram

biography. This was my way of showing all the people who thought I was too dumb to

go to a good university, that I was actually able to do it, and even better, go to a better

university than those who doubted me. Social media allows symbols within symbolic

interactionism to spread further than they have ever before (Denzin, 2014). In the

middle of the semester, when I was failing every class, there was a pit in my stomach

every day. Not thinking about what to do now, or how to mentally recover, but only about

what others are going to think of me when I remove “PSU” from my instagram

biography. Will they say “I told you so” or just laugh?

While I was hitting rock bottom, a huge part of my life that changed was how

social I was. When I was in my so-called “hibernation” period, I had cut off complete

communication with my family. I didn’t want them to know how bad my life had gotten,

and was beyond scared of how they would react. This resulted in me getting a text from

my father after three weeks of complete silence saying “I'm very concerned, please call

me back ASAP or I’m going to call the police to come check on you.” I immediately

called back to say “hey, whats up?”, as if nothing ever happened. Upon returning home

to North Carolina I reignited my hibernation period. I layed in bed for a whole week not
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eating or moving. “However, role taking as a concept also carries a uniquely dynamic

implication indicating that in message contraction the sender momentarily puts himself

in the place of the intended receiver and attempts to evaluate form his point of view the

meaning and import of each of the possible alternative forms into which he could put the

forthcoming message” (Hulett, 1966, p.26). During my hibernation, I kept going over in

my head how to word what happened in a way that I wouldn’t seem like a failure to my

friends or family. Nothing ever seemed good enough, which led me to extending my

hibernation.

“Society’s values, norms, and institutions are created as persons interact with

one another within the symbolic meanings that have developed” (Trevino, 1987, p. 555).

At this point I was no longer attending Penn State. This was clear by the fact that I

haven't posted anything on any social media showing I was there, and additionally

cutting communication with most people who were still attending. I was no longer going

by society’s norms which made me panic and feel lost. I started to seek help from my

therapist twice a week, and additionally be put on proper medication that would help me

get back to “normal”.

Before every action I took, I thought about how much energy it required. Would

the outcome be worth the emotional energy being put in? “They see individuals’ actions

being motivated by an anticipation of emotional energy” (Vom Lehn, 2011, p. 315). This

was arguably what had the most control over my life, my emotions. I couldn’t ask

anyone to hangout without thinking to myself, is this going to use up all of my emotional

energy? I used what was left of that energy and put it into working with my therapist to

get to the root of my problems. I started taking courses through my local community
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college which began the process of connecting my emotional energy with wanting to

succeed in life. It was no longer connected to just school, I wanted to graduate to prove

to myself I could do it.

A year and a half later I started my first semester at the University of North

Carolina Wilmington. This was a fresh start for me to enjoy my life and what I was doing.

Symbolic Interactionism is a tricky thing because the symbols can be positive or

negative. Although this theory applied to that specific situation of me failing out, I think it

continues to apply to my life even now.

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References

Braun, S. (2015). Can we all agree? building the case for symbolic interactionism as the

theoretical origins of public relations. Journal of Professional Communication,

4(1). https://doi.org/10.15173/jpc.v4i1.2614

Denzin, N. K. (2014). Symbolic Interactionism and the media. The Handbook of Media

and Mass Communication Theory, 74–94. https://doi.org/

10.1002/9781118591178.ch5

Hulett, J. E. (1966). A symbolic interactionist model of human communication: Part one:

The general model of social behavior; The message-generating process. AV

Communication Review, 14(1), 5–33. https://doi.org/10.1007/bf02768507

Trevino, L. K., et al. (1987). Media Symbolism, media richness, and media choice in

organizations. Communication Research, 14(5), 553–574. https://doi.org/

10.1177/009365087014005006

Vom Lehn, D., & Gibson, W. (2011). Interaction and symbolic interactionism. Symbolic

Interaction, 34(3), 315–318. https://doi.org/10.1525/si.2011.34.3.315

West, R., & Turner, L. H. (2021). Introducing communication theory: Analysis and

application, 7th ed. McGraw-Hill.