What to Do When She Won't Join

You Somewhere
By Alek Rolstad

Girls wonʼt always agree to move with you, sit with you, or head
somewhere else. If youʼre not afraid of a little risk, though, you can
often change their minds.

Hey, guys. I hope you are all doing well.

And I hope you found my posts on attention seekers useful (part 1;

part 2). The first post examined the underlying mechanisms, where
we had a quick look at female psychology, and the follow-up
discussed the technicalities (how to deal with the issue at hand by
using her strong desire for attention against her to generate
attraction and compliance).

The techniques covered were mostly based on concepts such as

showing mixed signals and taking away the attention from her
through disqualification and rapport breaking. Those techniques
can be useful in most settings.

Additionally, the techniques covered do have a general “attraction-

building effect” on most girls, but they happen to work even better
with attention seekers. The more attention seeking, the more
dynamite the results, even to the point where her desire for
attention reaches new heights, which she would be willing to fulfill
through sex.

In this post, I will share a technique that is very simple on paper but
may require some calibration. The techniques covered will serve
as a resistance buster for whenever you are trying to move her
(to isolate her or actually extract her back to your place). This is
a form of resistance that is especially common among attention
seekers. They resist being isolated with you, because becoming
isolated with you results in lower amounts of attention for them
(other men will be less likely to hit on an isolated girl and give her
the attention she truly seeks). Same thing goes for extraction, which
basically means “the attention seeking is over.”

Two notes to make before moving on:

Just like in my previous post regarding attention seekers, this

technique can be used on most girls, although it will have more
effect on attention seekers. It is key to emphasize this.

This strategy is fit for night game (bars and clubs). It can also
be used at parties (extended social circle). I havenʼt really tried
this with day game. I didnʼt really have to, as usually resistance
 toward isolation and extraction in day game is more genuine
because of a lack of rapport or logistical hoops (she actually
has plans to go somewhere). In night game, however (clubs
being the sanctuary for attention seekers), there will be
many attention seekers, and thatʼs where this post will
come in handy.

Isolation Resistance

As I mentioned, this technique is really basic and simple on paper.

Imagine you are at a bar or club and youʼve approached a girl and
built some attraction. You are hooked in, she is hooked in. She may
have tested you, but you kept your shit together and her attraction
has skyrocketed. Youʼve decided to use her heightened attraction to
escalate things further.

After some escalation, having some back-and-forth, you feel it is

time to isolate her away so that you can take things to the next
level. You invite her to “go sit over there” or “go out for a smoke”
(which, letʼs be frank, isnʼt much to ask for when you are someone
she is talking to, escalating with, feeling attraction toward, etc.).

But for some reason, she just canʼt, or she gives you some dumb
excuse.

To be clear, if you happen to be in a hostile environment (hip-hop

clubs tend to be more hostile) or a very chaotic venue, her
resistance may be a security measure. Going out for a smoke can
result in her losing her friends. Being alone in a club filled with
horny guys can actually be a dangerous situation for a girl, and
avoiding that would be a legitimate concern.

If you happen to find yourself in a huge venue, you can try to isolate
her somewhere not too far away from her friends. Now, despite
being in a huge venue, this technique can still work if she happens
to be very into you. However, there are some risks to it, which I will
cover a bit later.

High Notes

To continue our scenario, letʼs say you reach a high note and you
try to isolate her. Remember it is always key to isolate whenever you
reach a high note. The timing for isolations (and extraction) isnʼt
about how much time youʼve spent with her, itʼs about her emotional
response to you.

A high note is when she gets a bump in her sexual state, a bump in
attraction, or when her state is generally amped up. This is the time
to push, because itʼs when she will be the most compliant.

Good mood generates compliance – basic psychology.

She is a lot more likely to comply when you ask her on a high point.
Keep in mind that this high note can happen early on, or it can take
some time. Calibration is key. Either way, high notes are
opportunities you need to grab while hot, because if you fail to grab
that opportunity window, itʼs very likely to fade away, as her state
is always prone to change.

Resistance

Push when the iron is hot. This is something at which many guys
fail.

So you go for the push:

“You know, you seem like a cool girl, but it is a bit chaotic and
noisy here. Why donʼt we go right over there and keep this
great conversation going.”

“Hey, why donʼt we go out for a smoke so that we both can

have a break from the noise?”

And now, despite reaching a high note, she resists with (as you may
have guessed) some bullshit excuse:

“No, sorry, I have to stay with my friends.”

“Nah, I want to stay here.”

So what do you do?

Well, most guys would just end up asking why – which is a

supplicating move. Donʼt do it.

If she has a good reason, she will tell you. If she doesnʼt, there is
usually no good reason other than her desire to seek attention.

Keep in mind that, in this example, it is clear as ice that she is

attracted to you and that you havenʼt messed up in other ways. Also
remember that her resistance could just be a lack of compliance or
attraction, and it is very hard to tell which is the case.

I usually just rely on my intuition (good news: this gets better and
better over the years). Whether she is attention seeking or
simply not that into you wonʼt matter at this point, because this
technique can actually work in cases where attraction is lacking
(it may not always, but it can be used as a last resort).

The Antidote

First, it is very important to remain nonreactive when she gives

resistance.

Most men get upset or turn needy by trying to convince her to

leave with them – this is terribly bad. When youʼre trying to convince
her, who holds the dominating frame? She does. You are indeed
chasing her. Additionally, if she is resisting and you are becoming
needy, she is truly getting the attention she desires. Youʼre making
her feel all mighty and powerful. Her ego is hitting the roof.

So here is the technique (again, so simple on paper but harder in

practice):

Whenever she resists, just break rapport. Leave her. Donʼt say
anything. Donʼt react, donʼt do anything. Simply go away. But it is
key that you donʼt communicate grief or any negative reaction
(thatʼs a sign of neediness and can damage the vibe).

Additionally, there are other things in play:

A pattern interrupt: women expect more or less the same

response from men toward their actions (men usually get upset
 or turn needy). But you are just walking away from her without
saying a word. You just walk away. She is confused while also
intrigued – who is he?

You are creating this sense of mystery (related to the point

above) which is always sexy.

You dodge a potential frame war by either trying to convince

her or ending up in that awkward situation where you have to
suck up that resistance frame. Ignore it, walk away, and itʼs like
it never happened. The resistance doesnʼt congeal, it doesnʼt
become official. You save face, she saves face. Perfect.

There are other benefits related to this (as you are breaking rapport)
that I will cover in a minute. But for now, letʼs discuss the follow-ups.

So you just walked away. At this point, you have two options:

1. Wait till she re-engages. This may or may not happen

depending on how much sheʼs into you. What I would do is give
her a few minutes and see if she re-engages. If she doesnʼt, re-
engage her.

2. Wait it out, go to the bathroom, buy a drink, and re-engage.

Why the heck not?

One is higher risk and higher reward; the other is safer. However,
both score you some points. Keep that in mind.

During your time away from her, do some normal stuff, like dance,
buy a drink, chat up some girls, go to the bathroom (you have to do
that sooner or later). Do normal things and avoid her for the most
part.

Donʼt hover around and stare at her. If she looks at you, look back
and smile. Remember, that is good behavior, and we reward good
behavior (just as leaving her was punishment for bad behavior).

Regarding the latter, this technique is very powerful because it sets

a frame where you punish her bad behavior yet reward her for good
behavior. This is a powerful tool when it comes down to compliance,
which you can later use to lead her logistically (isolate and extract).

When you re-engage, just go in with a friendly tone and act like
nothing happened. If she asks you where you have been, tell her
where you have been (dancing, drinking, and talking to some
friends). If she asks you why you left (which is really good – this
means it truly had an impact on her), just tell her you had to pee or
talk to your friend. Do not confront her. Last thing we want is to
confront her and create a bad vibe (that is, if your plan is to pull).
Most likely she will figure out why you left. Women ainʼt dumb.
She knows why you left.

Build things back up, try to go for the extraction. Still resisting?
Well…

Rinse and repeat…

Sooner or later, she will crack.

Breaking Rapport

This technique is based on breaking rapport. In this case, breaking

rapport means cutting off contact with her. This can be done by
walking away and freezing out. The idea is to kind of break the
connection you two are having. Here are the typical effects of doing
this:

Switches the frame (makes her chase you). You

broke rapport and now she has to re-engage or at least show
some more interest in order to get you back.

Generates compliance. Women love being in interactions

with guys they like. By breaking rapport, you are taking away
that pleasurable experience of connecting and interacting with
a great guy. Taking away something she enjoys and leaving her
wanting it back not only makes her chase, it (more importantly)
generates compliance.

Removes her source of attention. This is key, especially

if she happens to resist your attempt at extracting in order to
get some more attention (by either making you turn needy or
getting attention from other men).

Sets clear limits. I mentioned in my previous posts that this

attention-seeking behavior can serve a double purpose: it can
 validate her, but itʼs also a way for her to test men. Those who
become needy or upset – will lose. Those who make it clear
they ainʼt falling for it (through setting clear limits) will win.

Implications

As with every technique out there, this one comes with pros and
cons. This technique is a bit risky, but itʼs very powerful when it
works. The success rate (if used and calibrated properly) is still
decently high, assuming you donʼt screw things up in other areas.

Here are some risks:

She may hook up with somebody else while you are gone. But
most likely not. If she is attention seeking, he will most likely
fail, as he is likely to get the same resistance. But unlike you, he
doesnʼt know how to deal with it. However, occasionally he just
may be her type or get lucky. But you know, shit happens. Get
over it.

She may disappear in the chaos. This is very likely to happen in

a bigger venue. However, there are still chances you may bump
into each other again. That is a common wildcard in big,
chaotic venues anyway. Regardless, I believe this technique
should work best in smaller venues where you have a better
overview of what is going on.

She may leave the venue. This technique is not ideal for typical
warm-up venues where people tend to leave early.

So again, this is a calculated risk. There are chances you may lose
her after youʼve broken rapport. If this is not a chance you are willing
to take, you may consider trying out some softer and less risky
persistence techniques:

What to Do When Women Resist Your Charms

Why Chasing Women Doesnʼt Work and Why Persistence

Does

Persist in Your Insistence

Now, you may go for one of these softer strategies at first. If that
doesnʼt work out, it may be better to use some stronger medicine.
Despite the bigger potential side effects, itʼs still a calculated risk,
because the odds of succeeding suddenly go up – which is all that
matters. Letʼs phrase it differently: if the soft version isnʼt working,
what do you really have to lose by using the more risky but more
powerful strategy? Very little.

As mentioned in the beginning of this post, the technique covered

here works well on all types of girls. But it works PARTICULARLY
WELL on attention seekers, as breaking rapport takes away her
source of attention, leaving her wanting to get it back. The more she
craves attention, the more powerful the effect will become, and the
more likely she will become more receptive when you re-engage. In
fact, chances are high that she may even re-engage you.

So if you detect signs that she is a true attention seeker (either

intuitively or based on experience), you may consider using this
technique of “breaking rapport” after her first resistance, as the
odds of a softer technique working here are already very low.

It is a calculated risk, but when the technique works, itʼs extremely

powerful and can really burst through her “isolation” or “extraction”
resistance. Give it a shot.
Recap

In this post, we covered a technique that can help against resistance

whenever you try to isolate or extract a girl (a phase where the odds
of triggering resistance is high). The technique involves breaking
rapport when facing resistance. It goes like this:

1. You face resistance when you generate a high note and go for
the kill

2. You remain non-reactive!

3. You leave without giving any explanation as to why (create

some intrigue)

4. Either wait for her to re-engage, or re-engage yourself – both

work

5. Rebuild to a high note and try to go for a pull again

6. If that fails, you rinse and repeat

We also discussed why this works. Additionally, we covered how to

use this technique properly and take calculated risks (since there
are some risks involved with this technique).

Again, this technique can work on every girl, but it happens to work
better on attention seekers.

Try it and let me know how it worked out.

Questions? Comments?

Happy hunting!

Alek
 About the Author: Alek Rolstad

Alek Rolstad launched his pickup career at

age 14, an early starter and seduction
savant. His unique style of game focuses
on “sex talk”: a way to make sex the
primary topic of conversation. Sex talk lets
the user excite girls rapidly, and filter for
girls open to fast, raunchy, kinky one-night stands and sex. You can
learn from Alek, the master and originator of sex talk himself, by
booking a 1-hour phone consultation with him.

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