Hoffman 1

Harry Hoffman

October-25-2023

Writing 2

Roepe

Title: "The Chilling Combine"

Within the realm of the NFL Combine, with many players with many aspiring football

talents, one particular player, Ryan, found himself shaking on the edge of uncertainty.

His aspirations were as high as the stadium lights, yet an unexpected twist in fate had

changed the expected journey he imagined.

As the evaluation drills of the NFL Combine have begun, Ryan's skills seemed to

disappear on him, almost as if a spell had been casted on him. This left him feeling

scared and worried about his future. Each attempt fell short, adding to his frustration, as

sweat mixed with the bitter taste of disappointment on his lips.

Seeking comfort, or any positives in his unfortunate situation, Ryan looked over his

disappointing performance in his room. The room enveloped him in a cocoon of

solitude, the walls seemingly closing in on his ruined mindset and ego.

One evening, a knock echoed through the room. Ryan asked, “who is it,” and walked in

was Coach Thompson. Coach Thompson had been prepping Ryan for the combine for

months. He was a veteran and had seen his athletes like this before. Ryan was slumped

in his chair, sitting there hopelessly. Coach Thompson took one good look at Ryan and

hated Ryan's dejected state. Thompson sat down next to him. "You're better than this,

Ryan," he said in his gravelly voice. Thompson sat there like a concerned father.
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The weight of unmet expectations was just overweighting Ryan. "I don't know what

happened out there, Coach. I just couldn't get it right. It's like my skills vanished into thin

air," he said with so much frustration.

Coach Thompson looked Ryan in the eyes. "This ain't the end of the road for you, son,"

he said firmly, placing a reassuring hand on Ryan's shoulder. "It's about what you do with

the opportunities you're given. You're still in the game."

That night, shadows and eerie voices felt like ghosts in Ryan's room. His anxiety was

getting so far into him he thought he heard murmurs telling him words of

disappointment. He swore he heard a whisper saying, “Your dreams are over” repeating

an echo in the room. Each murmur slowly cut down and hurt his dreams of being a star

in the NFL one day.

With the NFL Draft looming, Ryan's dreams weakened as every passing selection felt like

a shot in the chest. Until finally, as he was ready to give up on his NFL dreams, a single

team extended an offer for a spot on the team, it was his last glimmer of hope in a

dimming dream.

As he joined the team, Ryan ran into a familiar face. Ryan met with Coach Thompson

once more. "Every practice is a chance to prove yourself now, Ryan," the coach

emphasized. "It starts all over again and begins today. Show them what you're made of

and prove the expectations wrong."

Week after week, Ryan's determination showed off on the field. His determination and

hardwork on the field had eyes turning. Fans were marveled at his perseverance.
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After a particularly big win for his team and a huge performance by Ryan, Coach

Thompson approached Ryan with a rare smile, "That's the fire I saw in you, son. I know

you had what it takes even though others didn’t ."

Ryan, now filled with confidence, smiled gratefully. "Thanks, Coach. I won't let you down."

The whispers that had tormented him once faded far away and got drowned out by the

cheers of fans, when his name got called on the field. Ryan's ability to beat expectations

stood as a haunting reminder that true potential often emerges from the shadows of

perceived failure, and the verdict of one moment does not define the entirety of one's

journey.

Reflective Essay

The NFL combine is a yearly event that is a showcase of athletic talent for the

future players of the NFL. Every year these athletes prep for months for this Combine in

hopes they perform well and impress NFL coaches, possibly improving their draft stock.

It's an extremely important event in the process of making an NFL team. The stage is

set under the lights on live television every year. Millions of fans tune in to watch their

favorite college players perform. Thousands of fans also come to watch live. It's a place

where dreams can come true for the athletes. However, not every athlete has a positive

experience and some players' dreams can be crushed.

When planning this short story, I thought of Lisa Bickmore’s writing, “Genre in the

Wild.” When writing my short story, I had to have a good understanding of writing
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contexts. I had to analyze how Ryan’s struggle in the NFL combine is an example of the

particular genre of storytelling within my short story horror genre. To do this I used

elements from Bickmore's writing. I used elements such as tension, setbacks, and

eventual triumph. Another big aspect from Bickmore's writing that I used was adapting

the genre to suit the needs and purpose of my narrative. For example, for parts of the

story I altered the pace, tone and structure in order to create a better experience for the

audience. Another source that was helpful in writing this short story was, “Navigating

Genres” by Kerry Dirk. When writing, I used some principles of the article such as

adapting my genre so it conveyed the content in my short story better. It taught me to

emphasize genre fluidity and how it is important to consider the intended audience but

also the purpose of the writing when translating the audience. When writing my short

story, I tried to keep this in mind by taking elements of short story horror but also

adapting the genre so that the purpose and underlying message of the story made

sense to the reader. One other source that was helping in writing my short story was

“Teaching Two Kinds of Thinking by Teaching and Writing” by Peter Elbow. Given it

being a short story, I had tie in many elements of first order thinking. Ryan’s experience

at the combine can be shown as first-order thinking with an emphasis on the intuitive

and creative aspects of it. Him being disappointed and struggling with the uncertainties

of his future was definitely from my first-order thinking. The story needed structure

though, so I used second order thinking by starting the story with Ryan struggling and

having setbacks but then in the second half of the story, he had growth and success

through perseverance. One other source I used to help me write this short story about
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Ryan is an article called, “Changing Your Mindset About Revision” by L. Lennie Irvin.

Initially when I wrote my story, I wrote a different story about a character John. After

reading Irvins article, I realized that revision was necessary. I realized that John's story

didn’t really connect that well with the original article and also didn’t connect that well

with my reflection. Irvin mentioned that an original draft can create new knowledge. The

original draft of the story helped me realize what needed to be switched in order for the

project as a whole to connect better. Irvin also mentioned reflecting on feedback which

was super important for me to keep looking back again and again at the feedback I

received and make sure that I achieved my goal of revision based upon the feedback.

As stated earlier, millions of fans watch the NFL combine each year. A lot of

these fans are highschool and college students. Many of these fans played Football or

sports at some point in their life. Football is a physical but also a very mental sport.

Almost every athlete has aspirations and dreams of playing professionally one day.

Students can easily connect with the story’s portrayal of ambition and relentless pursuit

of success. The intense pressure and stress that our protagonist, Ryan, experienced

during the NFL combine relates to the academic and athletic challenges almost every

student experiences in their own life. The unexpected experience that Ryan faced

during the combine can also relate to the transition to high school or college for many

students. As many of my target audience enter college or highschool, they come to

realize that there is a lot of change. The biggest change might be the reset they have in

their life. For many students during this time, they are in a new place, have to make new
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friends, are taking new classes, have to get adjusted to a new lifestyle, and more. What

I think is most interesting though, is how this “reset” can relate to my short story and the

article I wrote the story based upon. In the original article about the NFL combine, the

researchers came to the conclusion that performance in NFL combine didn’t have much

of a correlation to success in the NFL. In the study they tested tons of variables and

factors. They tried to do all they could to find some hidden factor in the combine that

could predict NFL success. As they collected data though, the data was not strong

enough to show a correlation. In my short story, Ryan obviously beats the expectations

against him from his poor combine performance which connects to the original article. I

think this relates to students though as the next step in their education (middle school to

highschool, highschool to college) can be similar to Ryan's performance in the combine

vs the NFL. Although certain expectations from their teachers, friends, parents might

push students into no new improvement at the next level in their education, that is not

always the case. For many students, this is an opportunity for them to prove themselves

again. Being able to learn and do school in a new environment could be the change

some students need. They can beat the expectations people might have on them and

perform their best as a student. I believe that this audience can take the underlying

message that expectations and opinions on someone don’t define them and there is

always room to improve and prove doubters wrong.

In the world of high school and college students, the quest for success and

pursuit of dreams are important. For this particular audience, the primary sources diving
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into the NFL Combine holds lots of appeal for this audience. The source is a very

intense assessment of the college players skills and provides aspiring athletes an idea

of the rigorous process these players go through in order to get to the professional

world. One thing that is interesting about this source is the insight it provides. The

source dives into combine and tests if it is a real indicator of success in the NFL. It looks

at hundreds of players and compares their combine performance to their success in the

NFL. They use complex statistics and mathematics to get a conclusion. Even though

the source didn’t find a huge correlation between success in the Combine with success

in the NFL, Combine performance still represents a player's value for a time being. It

can also relate to this audience because this particular audience is going through a

huge time period of standardized testing. With the intended audience being high

schoolers and college students, many of these students might have had to do similar

drills or events as the combine to try out for a sport. Even the tests, assignments,

essays and the grading these students face can emphasize a comparison to sports.

Above all, the source of careful examination of the NFL Combines goes deeper than

just football; it gives a source of inspiration and reflection for the future generations of

athletes, researchers and aspiring people of the professional world.

In the short story about the protagonist Ryan’s experience at the NFL Combine,

the use of the short story horror genre serves as an effective way to convey the

information to this particular audience. Thanks to an article called, “Make Your Move” by

Brad Jacobson, I paid particular attention to the language and content I had within my

short story. This is because language and content is very important in illustrating your
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particular genre and allowing the genre to be effective in persuading the story correctly.

It crafts a narrative that highschool and college students might find more interesting

than just a typical formal essay. Additionally, implementing horror into the familiar setting

of the NFL combines taps into this particular audience's typical love for suspense and

macabre. In the story, many horror elements were incorporated. The presence of

language such as “a shot in the chest” or words such as “haunting” and ”fate” add a

spooky effect. Additionally, imaginary voices speaking to him in his room, helps grab the

reader's attention and immerse them deeper into the story. Getting the reader more

engaged helps make sure the reader understands the story and its underlying

information. As the story goes on, the elements of horror and suspense increases more

and more which creates more of an emotional impact on the reader. It creates senses of

uneasiness and tension on the reader. This audience of younger individuals are very

familiar with horror and the suspense which makes the information more relatable for

this audience. After all, the horror genre is relatable to the idea of psychological toll

when working for success. Even though the story shows a sort of fictional or

exaggerated experience for Ryan, the reader can infer that the experience was due to

stress and uneasiness about the future. This engages with the stress many high school

and college students have everyday which allows these elements of genre to connect

with them, which overall makes the story even more interesting for the reader. All in all,

the audience's typical affinity for horror, suspense, and storytelling while delivering some

valuable insights and lessons connect well with the thrilling tale.
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Works Cited

Management, Department of. “The NFL Combine: Does It Predict Performance in

the... : The Journal of Strength & Conditioning Research.” LWW,

journals.lww.com/nsca-jscr/Fulltext/2008/11000/The_NFL_Combine__Does_It_Pre

dict_Performance_in.1.aspx. Accessed 27 Oct. 2023.

How to Read like A Writer - WAC Clearinghouse,

wac.colostate.edu/docs/books/writingspaces2/bunn--how-to-read.pdf. Accessed

27 Oct. 2023.

Navigating Genres - WAC Clearinghouse,

wac.colostate.edu/books/writingspaces1/dirk--navigating-genres.pdf. Accessed 27

Oct. 2023.

13 Make Your “Move”: Writing in Genres - Writing Spaces,

writingspaces.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/jacobson.pdf. Accessed 27 Oct.

2023.

Reflective Writing and the Revision Process - WAC Clearinghouse,

wac.colostate.edu/books/writingspaces1/giles--reflective-writing-and-the-revision-p

rocess.pdf. Accessed 28 Oct. 2023.