Subscribe

TRENDING Covers Sustainability Awards 23 P

When you purchase through links on our site,

we may earn an affiliate commission. Here’s
how it works.

LIFE SEX & RELATIONSHIPS

First date tips: 14

ways experts
reckon you can
make your next
date your best yet
First date nerves are out of the picture this
Valentine's Day

(Image credit: Getty Images)

BY DIONNE BRIGHTON
PUBLISHED FEBRUARY 11, 2023

If you're frantically searching the Internet

for first date tips while trying to get ready,
let us stop you there. Valentine's Day might
be just around the corner, but that doesn't
mean you need to put pressure on yourself.
You've got to do what feels right for you -
and by that, we mean curl up on the sofa
with your girlfriends and a bottle of Amie,
if that's where your heart's at.

ADVERTISING

That said, if you have got a date in the

diary, good for you. Fun fact: it only takes
daters 25 minutes to decide if there is a
spark on a first date. The research from
Britannia Rescue also found that a fifth of
Brits have made excuses to leave a date
early.

Fear not, though, as after you've read our

handy first date tips, that won't be the case.
Keep scrolling as the experts share their
fourteen top tips, covering everything from
the most basic first date etiquette to how to
know whether to go in for that first kiss.

Sponsored Links

What new babies really need

Johnson & Johnson

Read our expert-led guide to dating profile

tips, while you're here, alongside our
explainers on dating advice for women,
first date questions and what to wear on a
first date, to boot.

RECOMMENDED VIDEOS FOR YOU...

PLAY SOUND

For tips on what to talk about on your first

date, scroll advice from:

ADVERTISING

Moe Ari Brown, love and connections expert

at Hinge

Aisha Paris Smith, somatic sex coach and

bodyworker

Stacy Thomson, founder of members-only

dating app Reddi

Monica Johnson, psychologist working with

dating app Bumble

Psychotherapist Erica Caparelli

Zainy Pirbhai, a marriage and family

therapist

14 first date tips,

according to top experts
1. Be authentic

Yes, we know what you're thinking - what

a cliché. But being authentic is so
important that all six experts mentioned it
in some capacity.

The best piece of advice I've ever received

is to think of a date as a way to explore
who you are, too - all you have to do is be
yourself.

"Let them get to know the real you," shares

Ari Brown. "This will set the framework
for a genuine relationship from the start."

"You want a date to celebrate who you are

right now and not who you were, think you
need to be for others, or even who you
hope to be in the future," they continue.

2. HOLD OFF FANTASIZING

It's all too easy to start daydreaming about

what your crush might be like (cough,
Harry Styles, cough). But one basic first
date rule a handful of experts shares is to
put an end to any fantasizing, where
possible.

Remember it's your very first date (and

potentially one of many) so it's best to not
arrive with a whole heap of expectations.
Leave the fantasizing for at least the third
trip out. "We can often spend hours
messaging our potential date, so much so
that we can create stories and narratives
which are far from the truth," Thomson
explains.

"We imagine our future with this person

before we’ve even met them - and when we
do, and they don’t meet this idolised
version you have built up in your head it
can be hard to get past your
disappointment." Do try and remember
"take them at face value" and as they truly
are, Thompson adds.

-35% -71%

-25%

Black Friday Sale On Now

CACHIA

(Image credit: Getty Images / Westend61)

3. GET EROTIC

Yes, you read that right - Paris Smith

suggests getting your sexy on before
you've even met your date. "Connect to
your erotic persona by taking a few cheeky
photos or videos of yourself celebrating
your body and sexuality before you go out.
Act as the woman you want to be -
unapologetically expressed and deeply
connected to pleasure," suggests Smith.

Wondering what your erotic persona is?

"This is the way we identify and
experience ourselves when we are being
sexual," explains Smith.

Learn more

Try this: Wear your favourite matching

lingerie set to get you in the mood while
playing some of your favourite upbeat
music. "The point of this pre-date is to
boost our confidence so that we feel
capable of being desired by witnessing this
sexy part of ourselves," says Smith.

(Image credit: Getty Images)

4. GET YOUR HEADSPACE

RIGHT

There's often pressure on your outfit,

makeup, and date location but none of that
matters compared to the actual connection
you have with your date. Taking time to get
in the right headspace before you head off
is super important, share the experts.

Why? Well, because a positive mindset can

be key to a good date, shares Johnson. Try
this: "Spend ten minutes to engage in some
meditation or other relaxation exercises
like progressive muscle relaxation. This
will help to relieve the tension in your
mind and body,” she suggests.

Caparelli agrees, adding: “Going on a date

after bathing in self-love is only going to
boost your self-confidence so that you can
be yourself while also keeping a sharp eye
out for those things in your date you may
not want in your amazing life."

Wear These Socks Overnight

Wear these socks to sleep for
one night, then brace yourself.

5. GET COMFORTABLE

As well as getting yourself in the mood, be

sure to wear an outfit that makes you feel
both sexy and comfortable. "Dress to feel
attractive over dressing to look attractive.
Heels that cramp your feet after two steps,
do not a sexy moment make," suggests
Smith.

We couldn't agree more - here at Marie

Claire UK, we're all about doing what
makes us feel good, rather than what looks
good. Wear what makes you feel
comfortable without worrying about what
your date thinks - remember first date tip
number one: be authentic.

As per the research above, they found that

68% of daters needed to feel comfortable
on a date to be able to enjoy yhemselves.
It's a first date tip for a reason..

6. UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU

WANT

Knowing what you want - and sharing that

information if asked - is key to any good
first date. If you're just looking to hook up,
make that clear. Similarly, if you're
searching for the one to start a family with
one day or experimenting with your
sexuality - honesty is always the best
policy.

Before you go on your first date, it may be

good to have in mind what your looking for
in case the conversation comes up, share
the pros. "I would advise staying true to
who you are, even if you’re fearful that
your truth may be a dealbreaker,” says
Caparelli. “Keep in mind that you don’t
want to be with someone who you aren’t a
good match with, and being honest about
yourself will only help you find that right
person.”

-35% -25%

-71%

Black Friday Sale On Now

CACHIA

At the same time, don't stress about it too

much. "Try to maintain an open mind by
taking a relaxed approach when meeting
someone new," suggests Thomson.

7. BE IN CONTROL

This goes hand in hand with knowing what

you want. Ask yourself, what do you really
want from the date? "Don’t hand over
complete control to your date - instead,
lead them towards what would please you
so you can test how attentive they are to
your pleasure," says Smith.

Try this: once you've made clear what you

want to do on your date, enjoy it! If it's
dinner and drinks, enjoy the food and
alcohol, but try not to go OTT on the booze
(unless that brings you joy). It can be
useful on a first day to stay in control,
especially if you haven't met the person
before.

Tea’s Perfect Partner

Special Moments Begin With The
Perfect Tea And Nestlé Everyday Is
The Perfect Tea Partner

8. ENJOY YOURSELF

Remember, you're dating to find the person

you want to spend your life with (or even
just for the thrill of it). Either way requires
you to feel comfortable and have fun with
them.

Sure, this sounds simple, but it's not always

the case. Fun may not come naturally if the
first date nerves are kicking in or if it's a
more serious dinner date. "Instead of the
age old question of what they do for fun,
ask your date what their favourite ways of
having fun are. It allows you to learn more
about your date’s interests and may give
you inspiration for your second date,"
suggests Brown. See: the more you know,
the more fun you can have.

Tea’s Perfect Partner

Special Moments Begin With The
Perfect Tea And Nestlé Everyday Is
The Perfect Tea Partner

Fun fact for you: 58% of daters cent

require lots of laughter for a first date to be
classed a success, according to the BR
research. Plus, 86% of LGBTQIA+ Hinge
daters say a date is successful if they have
fun, as per Hinge's dating report.