WORKBOOK

For

Emotionally Healthy
Spirituality

why your thinking is the beginning & end of

suffering

FAVOURED PUBLISHING
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Copyright © STERLING PUBLISHING

All rights reserved. No part of this workbook may be
reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any
means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic
or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of
the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied
in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses
permitted by copyright law.
This workbook is intended as a companion guide to the book
"Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic-
and What We Can Do About It”. It is designed to complement
the ideas and concepts presented in the original book and
provide readers with additional insights, key points, and
reflections. This workbook is not a replacement for the original
book and should be used in conjunction with it for a
comprehensive understanding of the subject matter.
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Table of content
How To Use This Workbook..................................................................5
The Problem of Emotionally Unhealthy Spirituality............................7
Something Is Desperately Wrong.......................................................7
Chapter summary.........................................................................7
Key Points...................................................................................10
Self Reflection Questions............................................................12
Know Yourself That You May Know...................................................19
God Becoming Your Authentic Self..................................................19
Chapter Summary.......................................................................19
Key Points...................................................................................21
Self Reflection Questions............................................................23
Going Back in Order to Go Forward...................................................30
Breaking the Power of the Past........................................................30
Chapter Summary.......................................................................30
Key Points...................................................................................32
Self Reflection Questions............................................................34
Journey through the Wall....................................................................41
Letting Go of Power and Control......................................................41
Chapter Summary.......................................................................41
Key Points...................................................................................43
Self Reflection Questions............................................................45
Enlarge Your Soul through Grief and Loss........................................52
Surrendering to Your Limits..............................................................52
Chapter Summary.......................................................................52
Key Points...................................................................................55
Self Reflection Question......................................................................57
Discover the Rhythms of the Daily Office and Sabbath...................64
Stopping to Breathe the Air of Eternity.............................................64
Chapter Summary.......................................................................64
Key Points...................................................................................67
Self Reflection Question.............................................................69
Grow into an Emotionally Mature Adult.............................................76
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Learning New Skills to Love Well.....................................................76

Chapter Summary.......................................................................76
Key Points...................................................................................79
Self Reflection Questions............................................................81
Go the Next Step to Develop a “Rule of Life”....................................88
Loving Christ Above All Else.............................................................88
Chapter summary.......................................................................88
Key Points...................................................................................90
Self Reflecting Questions............................................................92
Life changing exercise.........................................................................99
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How To Use This Workbook

To use the workbook, begin by reading the summary of each

chapter from the main book. This will give you a brief
overview of the main points and ideas presented in the original
text. Next, review the Key Lessons section for each chapter.
This section will highlight the most important takeaways from
the chapter, and provide you with a deeper understanding of
the main book. After reviewing the Key Lessons, move on to
the Self Reflection Questions. These questions are designed to
help you think critically about the material, and to apply it to
your own life. Take your time to consider each question
carefully, and write down your thoughts and answers in the
space provided for that. Complete the Life Changing Exercises
for each chapter. These exercises are designed to help you
integrate the material into your daily life, and to take action
towards making positive changes. You may find it helpful to
complete these exercises as you work through the workbook,
or to set aside time to work on them separately. Once you are
through with the workbook, use the Personal Notes section to
record your thoughts, reflections, and insights. This section is
for your own personal use, and can be a valuable tool for
tracking your progress and growth over time. Generally, the
workbook is designed to be a comprehensive and interactive
guide to the main book. By working through each chapter,
completing the exercises, and reflecting on your own
experiences, you can gain a deeper understanding of the
material and make positive changes in your life.
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The Problem of Emotionally

Unhealthy Spirituality

Something Is Desperately Wrong

Chapter summary

In this opening chapter, The author introduces the core concept

of the book: the connection between emotional health and
spirituality. He argues that many individuals who appear to be
spiritually mature might actually be emotionally immature, and
this disconnect can lead to various problems in their lives and
relationships.

The author also begins by highlighting how common it is for

people to compartmentalize their emotional lives and spiritual
lives. He suggests that some people tend to focus solely on
their spiritual growth while neglecting their emotional well-
being, assuming that their spiritual maturity will automatically
result in emotional health. However, he points out that this
approach often leads to unresolved emotional issues and
dysfunctional behaviors that hinder one's spiritual growth.

The author goes on to emphasize the significance of

addressing emotional wounds from our past, as these wounds
can have a profound impact on our present lives and
relationships. He presents a framework where unhealthy
spirituality often stems from a lack of emotional awareness
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and the failure to integrate emotional healing with one's

spiritual journey.

The author introduces the term "emotionally unhealthy

spirituality," which encompasses various signs of this
disconnect. These signs include using spiritual practices as a
way to escape from emotional pain, avoiding conflict and
difficult conversations in the name of keeping a facade of
peace, and neglecting self-care under the guise of selflessness.
He suggests that these behaviors can hinder genuine spiritual
growth and lead to a shallow, surface-level faith.

The chapter also delves into the author's personal journey of

discovering the connection between emotional health and
spirituality. The author shares his own struggles with
emotional immaturity despite his active involvement in
ministry and spiritual leadership. This candid narrative adds a
relatable dimension to the discussion and underscores the
universality of the issue.

In conclusion, Chapter 1 sets the stage for the rest of the book
by highlighting the central problem of emotionally unhealthy
spirituality. The author stresses the need for individuals to
recognize the significance of emotional well-being as an
integral part of their spiritual journey. He challenges readers to
examine their own lives and spiritual practices to identify areas
of disconnect and begin the process of integrating emotional
and spiritual growth.
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Overall, this chapter serves as a thought-provoking

introduction to the book's themes, inviting readers to consider
the ways in which they might be experiencing emotionally
unhealthy spirituality in their own lives.
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Key Points

Integration of Emotion and Spirituality: The chapter

underscores the importance of integrating emotional health and
spirituality. It emphasizes that true spiritual maturity cannot be
achieved without addressing emotional wounds and fostering
emotional awareness.

Compartmentalization Can Be Detrimental: The author

highlights the common tendency to compartmentalize
emotional and spiritual aspects of life. He suggests that this
separation can lead to a superficial and inauthentic faith that
fails to address deep emotional issues.

Spiritual Practices as Escapes: The chapter discusses how

some individuals use spiritual practices and religious activities
as a way to escape from dealing with emotional pain. This
insight prompts readers to examine whether their spirituality is
genuinely transformative or merely a coping mechanism.

Conflict Avoidance and False Peace: The author points out

the tendency to avoid conflict in the name of maintaining a
superficial peace. He cautions that this approach can hinder
growth and true reconciliation, preventing individuals from
addressing real issues in their relationships.

Neglecting Self-Care: The author discusses how some people

neglect their own self-care under the guise of selflessness. This
lesson serves as a reminder that caring for one's emotional and
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physical well-being is essential for sustaining a healthy

spiritual life.

The Impact of Past Wounds: The chapter underscores the

significance of acknowledging and addressing emotional
wounds from the past. It emphasizes how unresolved past
issues can shape current behaviors and attitudes, hindering
both emotional and spiritual growth.

Personal Journey and Vulnerability: The author's personal

narrative adds authenticity to the chapter's lessons. His
vulnerability in sharing his struggles with emotional
immaturity despite his leadership role serves as a powerful
reminder that this issue affects people from all walks of life.
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Self Reflection Questions

1. Are You Compartmentalizing Your Emotions and

Spirituality? Reflect on whether you tend to keep your
emotional struggles separate from your spiritual journey.
Are you using spiritual practices to avoid addressing
emotional pain, or are you integrating emotional healing
into your spiritual growth?

2. Do You Mistake Superficial Peace for True

Reconciliation? Consider whether you're avoiding
conflict in your relationships under the guise of
maintaining peace. Are you sacrificing authentic
communication and resolution for the sake of a surface-
level harmony that hinders growth?

3. Are You Neglecting Your Emotional Well-being for

Others? Reflect on whether you've been neglecting your
own emotional needs while prioritizing the needs of
others. Are you mistaking self-care for selfishness, and
is this affecting your emotional health and spiritual
journey?

4. Have You Explored the Impact of Past Wounds on Your

Present? Consider whether you've examined how past
emotional wounds might be influencing your current
behaviors and attitudes. Are there unresolved issues that
are hindering your emotional well-being and spiritual
maturity?
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5. Is Your Spiritual Growth a Means to Escape Emotional

Pain? Reflect on whether you've been using your
spiritual practices to escape from dealing with emotional
challenges. Are you using your faith as a way to avoid
confronting difficult emotions?

6. Do You Embrace Vulnerability in Your Spiritual

Journey? Consider whether you're willing to be
vulnerable about your struggles and imperfections. Are
you open to sharing your emotional journey with others,
acknowledging that growth involves addressing both
emotional and spiritual aspects of your life?

7. Are You Pursuing Authentic Transformation or Just

Appearances? Reflect on whether your spiritual growth
is resulting in genuine transformation or if it's merely
manifesting as outward appearances. Are you actively
working on integrating emotional health and spirituality,
or is your growth more surface-level?
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Know Yourself That You May Know

God Becoming Your Authentic Self

Chapter Summary

The author begins by highlighting the common tendency

among Christians to neglect their emotional well-being while
focusing solely on their spiritual growth. He contends that this
leads to a disconnected and un-authentic relationship with
God, as one cannot fully experience God's love and grace
without acknowledging their own emotional needs. The author
stresses that true spirituality involves both spiritual and
emotional maturity, and that the two are intertwined.

The chapter then delves into the concept of becoming one's

authentic self. The author suggests that often people wear
masks to hide their true feelings, fears, and insecurities. These
masks prevent them from truly knowing themselves and hinder
their spiritual growth. To know God deeply, one must be
willing to confront their true selves, including their brokenness
and wounds.

The author introduces the idea of the iceberg as a metaphor for

the human soul. The tip of the iceberg represents what is
visible to others, while the larger, submerged portion
symbolizes one's hidden emotions, traumas, and unresolved
issues. He suggests that becoming emotionally healthy
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involves diving beneath the surface and addressing these

hidden aspects of ourselves.

The author offers practical steps to help readers become their

authentic selves. He encourages journaling, reflection, and
seeking professional help if necessary. He also introduces the
concept of the Daily Office, a set of practices that help
individuals connect with God and themselves on a deeper
level.

In conclusion, Chapter 2 of "Emotionally Healthy Spirituality"

underscores the importance of self-awareness, authenticity,
and emotional maturity in cultivating a genuine relationship
with God. The author emphasizes that spiritual growth cannot
occur without emotional healing and self-discovery. By
embracing their authentic selves and addressing their hidden
wounds, readers can embark on a journey towards a more
profound and meaningful connection with God.
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Key Points

The Importance of Self-Awareness: The author emphasizes

that knowing oneself is a crucial foundation for developing a
meaningful relationship with God. Ignoring our emotional
well-being can hinder our spiritual growth and lead to a
disconnected relationship with God.

Authenticity in Spiritual Growth: The chapter highlights the

interconnectedness of spiritual and emotional maturity.
Becoming emotionally healthy is essential for genuine spiritual
growth, as one cannot experience God's love and grace fully
without acknowledging their own emotional needs.

Unmasking Our True Selves: The author suggests that many

people wear masks to hide their true feelings, fears, and
insecurities. These masks prevent us from knowing ourselves
and hinder our spiritual development. Confronting our
authentic selves, including our brokenness and wounds, is
essential for a deeper connection with God.

The Iceberg Metaphor: The author introduces the iceberg

metaphor to depict the human soul. The visible tip represents
what others see, while the submerged portion symbolizes
hidden emotions, traumas, and unresolved issues. Becoming
emotionally healthy involves diving beneath the surface and
addressing these hidden aspects of ourselves.
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Practical Steps for Self-Discovery: The chapter offers

practical advice for becoming more self-aware and authentic.
Journaling, reflection, seeking professional help, and engaging
in practices like the Daily Office can aid in connecting with
God and uncovering hidden aspects of ourselves.

Embracing Emotional Healing: The author emphasizes the

need to address emotional wounds and traumas as a means to
achieve emotional health. By acknowledging and working
through these issues, individuals can experience greater
emotional freedom and a more profound connection with God.

A Holistic Approach to Spirituality: The chapter

underscores the idea that true spirituality encompasses both
spiritual and emotional growth. To achieve a mature and
authentic relationship with God, individuals must prioritize
their emotional well-being and be willing to confront their
hidden aspects and vulnerabilities.
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Self Reflection Questions

1. Have you been prioritizing your spiritual growth over

your emotional well-being? How has this affected your
relationship with God?

2. Do you often wear masks to hide your true feelings and

insecurities? How might this be hindering your ability to
know yourself and connect with God authentically?

3. How can you relate to the iceberg metaphor in terms of

your own emotions and hidden issues? What might be
lurking beneath the surface that you need to address?

4. What practical steps can you take to become more self-

aware and embrace your authentic self? How can
journaling, reflection, or seeking professional help
support this process?

5. Have you been avoiding emotional healing by ignoring

past wounds and traumas? How might addressing these
issues contribute to your emotional freedom and a
deeper relationship with God?

6. How can you integrate both spiritual and emotional

growth in your journey towards a more mature and
authentic relationship with God?
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7. Are you willing to confront your hidden aspects,

vulnerabilities, and brokenness as a means to know God
more deeply? What steps can you take to prioritize your
emotional well-being in this journey?
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Going Back in Order to Go Forward

Breaking the Power of the Past

Chapter Summary

In Chapter 3 of the book, the author explores the chapter titled

"Going Back in Order to Go Forward: Breaking the Power of
the Past." The main focus of this chapter is the importance of
understanding and addressing our past in order to move
forward in our spiritual journey. The author emphasizes that in
order to achieve emotional and spiritual maturity, it is essential
to confront and heal from the wounds and traumas of our past.

The chapter highlights the tendency to compartmentalize our

emotions and spirituality, which ultimately hinders our growth.
By acknowledging the impact of our past experiences on our
present lives, we can begin the process of emotional healing
and spiritual transformation. The author uses the metaphor of a
tree and its roots to illustrate how addressing our past is like
tending to the roots of a tree, enabling it to flourish.

Practical tools are provided to guide readers through this

process. One such tool is the genogram, which helps
individuals map out their family history and identify
generational patterns that may be influencing their present
behavior. The author also emphasizes the importance of
forgiveness as a way to break free from the power of the past.
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Forgiveness is presented as a way to release the burden of

resentment and find healing.

To sum up, Chapter 3, "Going Back in Order to Go Forward:

Breaking the Power of the Past," underscores the significance
of addressing our past to achieve true spiritual maturity. The
author provides practical insights and tools to navigate this
journey, emphasizing the transformative power of forgiveness
in breaking the chains of the past.
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Key Points

Acknowledging the Impact of the Past: The chapter

underscores the significance of understanding how our past
experiences shape our emotional and spiritual well-being in the
present.

Roots and Growth Analogy: The author uses the analogy of a

tree's roots to illustrate that addressing our past is crucial for
our spiritual growth and flourishing.

Emotional Healing for Spiritual Maturity: A core lesson is

that emotional healing is a fundamental step towards achieving
true spiritual maturity. Unresolved emotional wounds can
hinder our progress.

Genogram Tool: The chapter introduces the genogram tool, a

practical way to map out family history and generational
patterns, enabling individuals to identify sources of emotional
baggage that affect their present lives.

Forgiveness and Liberation: The power of forgiveness is

highlighted as a means of breaking free from the hold of the
past. Forgiving those who have hurt us releases the burden of
resentment and enables emotional healing.

Family Dynamics and Patterns: By exploring our family

dynamics, we can uncover recurring patterns and habits that
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have been passed down through generations, shedding light on

how our past has influenced our present behavior.

Integration of Past and Present: The chapter encourages

integrating our past experiences with our present reality. By
acknowledging and addressing our past, we can achieve
emotional health and spiritual maturity.
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Self Reflection Questions

1. How have your past experiences, both positive and

negative, shaped your emotional and spiritual well-being
in the present?

2. In what ways have you compartmentalized your

emotions and spirituality? How might integrating these
aspects of your life lead to greater emotional health and
spiritual maturity?

3. What are some unresolved emotional wounds from your

past that you may need to confront and heal in order to
progress on your spiritual journey?

4. How can you apply the analogy of a tree's roots to

understand the importance of addressing your past for
spiritual growth and flourishing?

5. Have you considered using tools like genograms to map

out your family history and identify generational
patterns that may influence your present behavior and
emotions?

6. Reflect on the concept of forgiveness and its potential to

break free from the hold of the past. How might
forgiving those who have hurt you lead to emotional
healing and liberation?
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7. How can you integrate your past experiences with your

present reality to achieve emotional health and spiritual
maturity? What steps can you take to break free from
negative patterns and habits passed down through
generations?
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Journey through the Wall

Letting Go of Power and Control

Chapter Summary

In this chapter, the author discusses the concept of "the wall"

that many individuals encounter in their spiritual journey. This
wall represents a point of crisis or difficulty that challenges
one's faith and forces them to confront their emotional
immaturity. The author emphasizes that in order to grow
spiritually, one must first acknowledge and address their
emotional wounds and unhealthy coping mechanisms.

The chapter highlights the tendency to rely on power and

control as a way to mask one's emotional struggles. The author
shares personal experiences and stories from his own life to
illustrate how this dynamic played out in his own spiritual
journey. He explains that the pursuit of power and control can
lead to a lack of authenticity and a disconnect from one's true
self.

The author also emphasizes the importance of embracing

vulnerability and surrendering the need for power and control
in order to experience true spiritual growth. He provides
practical steps and strategies for letting go of these unhealthy
patterns and learning to rely on God's power and guidance
instead.
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Throughout the chapter, the author emphasizes the idea that

true spiritual maturity cannot be achieved without addressing
one's emotional health. He encourages readers to engage in
self-examination, seek support from mentors and therapists,
and practice disciplines that promote emotional well-being.

In conclusion, Chapter 4 "Journey through the Wall: Letting

Go of Power and Control" explores the concept of confronting
emotional immaturity and relinquishing the need for power
and control in order to achieve genuine spiritual growth. The
author provides personal insights and practical advice for
navigating this challenging but transformative process.
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Key Points

Introduction to the Wall: The chapter introduces the concept

of "the wall," a point of crisis or challenge that individuals
encounter on their spiritual journey. It signifies a moment
when one's emotional immaturity is confronted, urging them to
address their wounds and unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Masking with Power and Control: The author discusses the

tendency to use power and control as a way to conceal
emotional struggles. By focusing on maintaining control,
individuals often ignore their true emotions and create a
disconnect between their external image and inner turmoil.

Personal Stories: Personal anecdotes from the author's life are

shared to illustrate how the pursuit of power and control can
hinder genuine spiritual growth. The author reflects on how
these behaviors affected his own journey and led to emotional
immaturity.

Importance of Authenticity: Emphasizing the need for

vulnerability and authenticity, the author highlights that true
spiritual growth can only occur when individuals confront their
emotional wounds and acknowledge their limitations.

Surrendering Power and Control: The chapter guides

readers on embracing vulnerability and surrendering the need
for power and control. Letting go of these unhealthy patterns
 27

and learning to rely on God's guidance is crucial for spiritual

maturity.

Practical Steps: Practical steps and strategies are provided to

help individuals let go of power and control. Engaging in self-
examination, seeking guidance from mentors, therapists, and
practicing disciplines that promote emotional health are
recommended.

Integration of Emotional Health and Spirituality: The

author concludes by reinforcing the idea that spiritual maturity
cannot be attained without addressing emotional health.
Integrating emotional well-being with spiritual growth is
essential for a holistic transformation.
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Self Reflection Questions

1. Have You Experienced a "Wall" Moment? Reflect on

moments in your spiritual journey where you've faced a
crisis or challenge that pushed you to confront your
emotional immaturity. How did you respond to these
experiences?

2. Are You Masking Emotions with Power and Control?

Consider whether you use power and control as a way to
avoid dealing with your emotional struggles. Do you
find yourself exerting control over situations to avoid
confronting your true feelings?

3. What Unhealthy Patterns Have You Developed?

Explore any patterns of behavior that may indicate a
reliance on power and control. Are there situations
where you tend to prioritize maintaining control over
expressing your genuine emotions?

4. How Authentic Are You? Reflect on how authentic you

are in your relationships and interactions. Are you able
to be vulnerable and transparent about your emotions, or
do you tend to keep up a facade of control?

5. Can You Surrender Power and Control? Consider

whether you are willing to let go of the need for power
and control in various aspects of your life. Are you open
to embracing vulnerability and trusting in God's
guidance instead?
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6. What Steps Can You Take? Think about practical steps

you can take to let go of power and control. Are there
self-examination exercises, mentors, or disciplines that
you can engage with to promote emotional health and
spiritual growth?

7. Are You Integrating Emotional Health and Spirituality?:

Reflect on whether you're integrating emotional well-
being with your spiritual growth. Are you recognizing
the importance of addressing emotional wounds as a
foundation for genuine spiritual maturity?
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Enlarge Your Soul through Grief and

Loss
Surrendering to Your Limits

Chapter Summary

Chapter 5 delves into the topic of embracing grief and loss as a

means of spiritual growth. The author explores the idea that
genuine emotional maturity and spiritual development can
only be achieved when individuals confront and surrender to
their limitations. The chapter outlines how grief and loss play a
pivotal role in this process, allowing individuals to enlarge
their souls and deepen their understanding of both themselves
and their spirituality.

The chapter begins by highlighting the common tendency to

avoid or minimize grief and loss. Many individuals often
suppress their feelings or attempt to move past these
experiences quickly, without fully processing their impact.
However, the author argues that such avoidance hinders
spiritual growth and emotional health.

The author goes on to discuss the importance of

acknowledging and mourning losses, both big and small. He
emphasizes that grieving is not limited to death but can also
encompass various types of losses, such as relationships,
 31

dreams, and expectations. By fully embracing these emotions,

individuals can create space for growth and transformation.

Furthermore, the author explores the concept of "limitation,"

stressing that humans are inherently limited beings. Accepting
these limitations is essential for spiritual growth, as it
encourages individuals to rely on God's strength rather than
their own. Grief and loss serve as catalysts for this acceptance,
as they force individuals to recognize their vulnerability and
dependence on a higher power.

Practical steps for engaging with grief and loss are also
provided in the chapter. These include creating opportunities
for reflection, allowing oneself to experience emotions without
judgment, seeking support from others, and engaging in rituals
or practices that facilitate the grieving process.

The chapter concludes by highlighting the profound spiritual

growth that can emerge from embracing grief and loss. By
surrendering to limitations and mourning losses, individuals
can deepen their connection with God and develop a more
mature and authentic spirituality. The author emphasizes that
this journey requires patience, self-compassion, and a
willingness to face discomfort.

In summary, Chapter 5 "Enlarge Your Soul through Grief and

Loss: Surrendering to Your Limits" explores the
transformative power of embracing grief and loss as a means
of enlarging the soul and deepening spiritual maturity. The
author underscores the importance of acknowledging
 32

emotions, accepting limitations, and relying on God's strength

to navigate the complexities of life's challenges.
 33

Key Points

Embracing Grief and Loss: The chapter emphasizes the

importance of acknowledging and embracing grief and loss as
essential components of the spiritual journey. Many
individuals tend to avoid or suppress these emotions, but doing
so hinders emotional growth and spiritual maturity.

Beyond Death: The author expands the concept of grief

beyond death, highlighting that it encompasses various types
of losses such as relationships, dreams, and expectations.
Recognizing and mourning these losses is crucial for personal
growth.

Accepting Limitations: The chapter explores the concept of

human limitations and vulnerability. Accepting these
limitations is essential for spiritual growth as it prompts
individuals to rely on God's strength rather than their own.

Catalysts for Spiritual Growth: Grief and loss serve as

catalysts for accepting limitations and vulnerability. They
compel individuals to confront their own inadequacies and
humbly acknowledge their need for God's guidance and
support.

Practical Steps for Grieving: The chapter offers practical

steps for engaging with grief and loss. These include creating
space for reflection, allowing oneself to experience emotions
 34

without judgment, seeking support from others, and

participating in rituals that facilitate the grieving process.

Deepening Connection with God: By surrendering to grief

and loss, individuals can deepen their connection with God.
The process of mourning encourages reliance on a higher
power and fosters a more authentic and mature spirituality.

Patience and Self-Compassion: The author concludes by

emphasizing that embracing grief and loss requires patience,
self-compassion, and the willingness to confront discomfort.
This journey towards spiritual growth involves embracing
vulnerability and relying on God's strength.
 35

Self Reflection Question

1. How Do You Typically Respond to Grief and Loss?

Reflect on your usual reactions when faced with grief
and loss. How might embracing these emotions
contribute to your emotional and spiritual growth?

2. Consider whether you only associate grief with death or

if you recognize it in other forms of loss as well. Are
there relationships, dreams, or expectations you haven't
fully mourned? How might acknowledging these losses
contribute to your overall well-being?

3. How Do You Handle Limitations? Reflect on your

response to personal limitations and vulnerability. Do
you resist or deny these aspects of yourself? How might
accepting your limitations and relying on God's strength
impact your spiritual growth?

4. Can You Recognize Grief as a Catalyst? Consider

whether you view grief and loss as catalysts for spiritual
growth. How might facing your own inadequacies and
vulnerabilities prompt you to seek a deeper connection
with God?

5. What Practical Steps Can You Take to Grieve? Reflect

on the practical steps provided for engaging with grief
and loss. Are there rituals, reflections, or practices you
 36

can adopt to better navigate these emotions and embrace

vulnerability?

6. How Can Grief Deepen Your Connection with God?

Consider how embracing grief and loss can lead to a
deeper connection with God. How might relying on a
higher power and acknowledging your vulnerability
enhance your spirituality?

7. Are You Patient and Compassionate with Yourself?

Reflect on the importance of patience and self-
compassion as you navigate grief and loss. How can you
cultivate these qualities as you journey towards
emotional and spiritual growth?
 37

Discover the Rhythms of the Daily

Office and Sabbath

Stopping to Breathe the Air of Eternity

Chapter Summary

Chapter 6 explores the significance of incorporating the

rhythms of the Daily Office and Sabbath into one's spiritual
journey. The author emphasizes the importance of developing
intentional practices that allow individuals to pause, connect
with God, and cultivate a deeper sense of spirituality. By
embracing these rhythms, individuals can experience a
transformative shift in their emotional well-being and spiritual
growth.

The chapter begins by addressing the prevalent issue of

busyness and the constant pursuit of productivity in modern
society. The author argues that this constant rush can hinder
emotional and spiritual maturity, leading to a disconnect from
God and oneself. In response to this, the author introduces the
concept of the Daily Office and Sabbath as antidotes to the
relentless pace of life.

The Daily Office refers to a structured rhythm of prayer and

reflection throughout the day. The chapter explains that
practicing the Daily Office involves intentionally setting aside
 38

specific times for prayer, scripture reading, and reflection. By

incorporating these moments of pause, individuals can
experience a heightened sense of awareness of God's presence
and guidance in their daily lives.

The Sabbath, on the other hand, is a weekly practice of rest

and renewal. The chapter highlights the biblical foundation of
the Sabbath and its role in nurturing emotional and spiritual
health. It provides a dedicated time for individuals to rest,
reflect, and engage in activities that bring joy and renewal.

Practical steps for embracing the Daily Office and Sabbath are
provided throughout the chapter. The author discusses how to
structure the Daily Office, offering suggestions for morning,
midday, and evening prayers. Additionally, he provides
guidance on how to observe the Sabbath, encouraging readers
to disconnect from work, engage in restorative activities, and
create space for spiritual contemplation.

The chapter concludes by emphasizing the transformative

impact of integrating these rhythms into one's life. By
intentionally pausing to engage in the Daily Office and
observing the Sabbath, individuals can experience a deeper
connection with God, heightened emotional awareness, and a
more grounded sense of spirituality.

In summary, Chapter 6 "Discover the Rhythms of the Daily

Office and Sabbath: Stopping to Breathe the Air of Eternity"
delves into the importance of incorporating intentional
practices like the Daily Office and Sabbath to counter the
 39

busyness of life. By engaging in structured moments of prayer,

reflection, and rest, individuals can foster a deeper connection
with God and cultivate emotional and spiritual maturity.
 40

Key Points

Counteracting Busyness: The chapter addresses the issue of

busyness and its impact on emotional and spiritual well-being.
It emphasizes the need to counteract the constant rush of
modern life by incorporating intentional practices like the
Daily Office and Sabbath.

Introduction to the Daily Office: The author introduces the

concept of the Daily Office, a structured rhythm of prayer and
reflection throughout the day. This practice involves setting
aside specific times for prayer, scripture reading, and reflection
to foster a deeper connection with God.

Benefits of the Daily Office: The chapter highlights the

benefits of practicing the Daily Office, including heightened
awareness of God's presence in daily life and increased
emotional and spiritual well-being. Regular moments of pause
contribute to a more grounded sense of spirituality.

Understanding the Sabbath: The author discusses the

biblical foundation of the Sabbath, a weekly practice of rest
and renewal. The Sabbath provides a dedicated time to
disconnect from work, engage in restorative activities, and
cultivate a deeper connection with God.

Restoring Emotional Health: The chapter emphasizes how

observing the Sabbath contributes to emotional health. By
 41

engaging in rest and renewal, individuals can experience a

break from the pressures of life and prioritize their well-being.

Practical Steps for Implementation: Practical steps for

integrating the Daily Office and Sabbath into one's life are
provided. The author offers suggestions for structuring the
Daily Office and guidance on how to observe the Sabbath,
encouraging readers to disconnect, rest, and engage in spiritual
contemplation.

Transformation and Spiritual Growth: The chapter

concludes by highlighting the transformative impact of
embracing the rhythms of the Daily Office and Sabbath. By
intentionally pausing to engage in these practices, individuals
can experience a deeper connection with God, heightened
emotional awareness, and a more profound sense of
spirituality.
 42

Self Reflection Question

1. Are you rushing through life? Reflect on your approach

to busyness and consider how intentional pauses can
benefit your well-being.

2. Do you feel God's presence daily? Are you consciously

aware of God's presence in your daily life?

3. How could you structure a Daily Office? Consider how

to create moments for prayer and reflection throughout
the day.

4. Are you observing the Sabbath? Reflect on whether you

set aside time for rest and renewal each week.

5. What brings you joy and renewal? Identify activities that

can be part of your Sabbath observance.

6. What challenges do you face? What barriers might

hinder you from embracing these rhythms?

7. How can these rhythms transform you? Envision the

potential growth and well-being that intentional pauses
can bring.
 43

Grow into an Emotionally Mature

Adult
Learning New Skills to Love Well

Chapter Summary

Chapter 7 delves into the concept of emotional maturity and its

impact on one's ability to love well. The author emphasizes the
importance of growing into an emotionally mature adult by
acquiring new skills that enable healthy and authentic
expressions of love. The chapter highlights how emotional
health is intrinsically linked to spiritual maturity, and outlines
practical strategies to foster emotional growth.

The chapter begins by addressing the misconception that

spiritual maturity alone guarantees emotional health. The
author counters this notion by explaining that true spiritual
growth involves developing emotional maturity alongside it.
He introduces the concept of "marriage between emotional
health and contemplative spirituality," emphasizing that both
are essential for a holistic transformation.

The author discusses the traits of an emotionally mature adult,

which include being able to love well, handle anxiety and
stress, embrace one's limitations, and express emotions
authentically. He acknowledges that achieving these qualities
requires intentional effort and the willingness to learn new
skills.
 44

The chapter provides practical strategies for fostering

emotional growth, such as becoming aware of your emotional
triggers, slowing down to reflect on your feelings, and seeking
guidance from mentors or therapists. The author also
emphasizes the significance of understanding your family of
origin's impact on your emotional health, and how addressing
past wounds can contribute to present well-being.

Furthermore, the chapter explores the idea of "loving well" and

highlights the connection between emotional maturity and
healthy relationships. The author suggests that emotionally
mature individuals can engage in deep, genuine, and
vulnerable connections, as they have acquired the skills
necessary for effective communication and conflict resolution.

The chapter concludes by reinforcing the idea that spiritual and

emotional maturity go hand in hand. Acquiring new skills to
navigate emotions, communicate effectively, and embrace
one's limitations is essential for a well-rounded transformation.
The author encourages readers to embark on the journey of
becoming emotionally mature adults as an integral part of their
spiritual growth.

In summary, Chapter 7 "Grow into an Emotionally Mature

Adult: Learning New Skills to Love Well" underscores the
significance of emotional maturity in conjunction with
spiritual growth. The author emphasizes the traits of an
emotionally mature adult, practical strategies for fostering
emotional growth, and the crucial link between emotional
health and loving well in relationships.
 45

Key Points

Spiritual and Emotional Maturity: The chapter explores the

connection between spiritual and emotional maturity. The
author emphasizes that both are necessary for a holistic
transformation and introduces the concept of a "marriage
between emotional health and contemplative spirituality."

Traits of an Emotionally Mature Adult: The author outlines

the characteristics of an emotionally mature adult, including
the ability to love well, handle anxiety and stress, embrace
limitations, and express emotions authentically.

Learning New Skills: The chapter highlights the importance

of acquiring new skills to foster emotional growth. Intentional
effort and a willingness to learn are key to becoming
emotionally mature.

Practical Strategies: The author provides practical strategies

for cultivating emotional maturity, such as identifying
emotional triggers, slowing down to reflect on feelings,
seeking guidance from mentors or therapists, and addressing
family of origin issues.

Emotional Health and Relationships: The chapter explores

the relationship between emotional maturity and healthy
relationships. Emotionally mature individuals are better
equipped for deep, genuine, and vulnerable connections due to
their effective communication and conflict resolution skills.
 46

Integration of Spiritual and Emotional Growth: The

chapter concludes by reinforcing the notion that spiritual and
emotional growth are intertwined. Acquiring skills to navigate
emotions, communicate effectively, and embrace limitations is
crucial for a well-rounded transformation.

Becoming Emotionally Mature: The author encourages

readers to embark on the journey of becoming emotionally
mature adults as an integral part of their spiritual growth. The
chapter underscores the importance of emotional well-being in
the overall pursuit of spiritual maturity.
 47

Self Reflection Questions

1. Reflect on your understanding of the connection

between spiritual and emotional maturity. Do you
acknowledge the importance of both in your personal
growth journey?

2. What Are Your Current Emotional Maturity Traits?

Consider the traits of an emotionally mature adult
mentioned in the chapter. Which of these traits do you
possess, and where do you see opportunities for growth?

3. Are You Willing to Learn New Skills for Emotional

Health? Reflect on your willingness to acquire new
skills to foster emotional growth. Are you open to
learning and putting in intentional effort to become
emotionally mature?

4. How Do You Handle Emotional Triggers? Think about

how you handle emotional triggers in your life. Do you
react impulsively or take the time to reflect on your
feelings and responses?

5. Have You Addressed Family of Origin Issues? Consider

whether you've addressed any family of origin issues
that might be impacting your emotional health. Are
there unresolved issues from your past that require
attention?
 48

6. What Is the Quality of Your Relationships? Reflect on

the quality of your relationships, both with others and
with yourself. Are you able to engage in deep, genuine,
and vulnerable connections? What could be improved?

7. How Can You Integrate Spiritual and Emotional

Growth? Think about ways to integrate your spiritual
and emotional growth. What steps can you take to
ensure that both aspects of your life are progressing
harmoniously?
 49

Go the Next Step to Develop a “Rule

of Life”
Loving Christ Above All Else

Chapter summary

Chapter 8 explores the concept of developing a "Rule of Life"

as a means of fostering a deep and authentic relationship with
Christ. The author emphasizes the importance of intentionally
structuring one's daily practices and rhythms to prioritize
loving Christ above all else. The chapter highlights how a
"Rule of Life" contributes to emotional and spiritual maturity
by creating a framework for intentional spiritual growth.

The chapter begins by introducing the concept of a "Rule of

Life," which refers to a set of intentional practices and rhythms
that guide an individual's spiritual journey. The author
emphasizes that such a rule is not meant to be rigid, but rather
a flexible structure that supports one's spiritual growth.

The author discusses the significance of prioritizing the love

for Christ above all other commitments and pursuits. He
highlights how individuals often become distracted by various
obligations, causing their love for Christ to take a backseat.
Developing a "Rule of Life" helps individuals realign their
priorities and intentionally choose Christ above all else.
 50

The chapter outlines practical steps for creating a "Rule of

Life," which involves identifying core spiritual practices,
setting specific goals, and integrating these practices into one's
daily routine. The author also emphasizes the importance of
accountability and flexibility within the rule.

Furthermore, the chapter explores the connection between the

"Rule of Life" and the pursuit of emotional and spiritual
maturity. By intentionally structuring one's life to prioritize
Christ, individuals can develop a deeper and more authentic
relationship with God. This, in turn, contributes to emotional
health, spiritual growth, and the ability to love others well.

The author concludes by highlighting the transformative

potential of a "Rule of Life." By intentionally choosing to love
Christ above all else and structuring daily practices around this
commitment, individuals can experience a profound shift in
their emotional and spiritual well-being. The chapter
encourages readers to embark on the journey of developing a
"Rule of Life" as a means of deepening their connection with
Christ.

In summary, Chapter 8 "Go the Next Step to Develop a 'Rule

of Life': Loving Christ Above All Else" delves into the concept
of creating a structured framework for spiritual growth. The
author emphasizes the importance of loving Christ above all
else, outlines practical steps for developing a "Rule of Life,"
and underscores the transformative impact of intentionally
prioritizing Christ in daily practices and rhythms.
 51

Key Points

Introduction to a "Rule of Life": The chapter introduces the

concept of a "Rule of Life," which refers to intentional
practices and rhythms guiding one's spiritual journey. It
emphasizes that this rule is a flexible framework rather than a
rigid structure.

Prioritizing Love for Christ: The author highlights the

significance of prioritizing one's love for Christ above all other
commitments and pursuits. Individuals often become
distracted by obligations, causing their devotion to Christ to
wane. A "Rule of Life" helps realign priorities.

Practical Steps to Create a Rule: The chapter outlines

practical steps for creating a "Rule of Life," including
identifying core spiritual practices, setting specific goals, and
integrating these practices into daily routines. Flexibility and
accountability within the rule are also emphasized.

Connection to Emotional and Spiritual Maturity: By

structuring life to prioritize Christ, individuals deepen their
relationship with God. This contributes to emotional health,
spiritual growth, and the ability to love others well. A "Rule of
Life" facilitates the pursuit of both emotional and spiritual
maturity.

Choosing Christ Above All Else: The author discusses how

distractions can pull individuals away from Christ. Creating a
 52

"Rule of Life" involves intentionally choosing Christ as the

focal point of daily practices, supporting a deeper and more
authentic connection with God.

Transformative Potential: The chapter concludes by

highlighting the transformative potential of a "Rule of Life."
By aligning daily practices with a commitment to loving Christ
above all else, individuals experience a profound shift in
emotional and spiritual well-being.

Prioritizing Christ in Daily Life: The author encourages

readers to develop a "Rule of Life" as a means of deepening
their connection with Christ. Prioritizing Christ in daily
practices and rhythms fosters a more intentional and authentic
spiritual journey.
 53

Self Reflecting Questions

1. Is Your Love for Christ Your Top Priority? Reflect on

your commitments and pursuits. Is your love for Christ
truly prioritized above all else, or do distractions often
take precedence?

2. How Can You Develop a Flexible Rule of Life?

Consider how you can create a flexible "Rule of Life"
that aligns with your spiritual journey. What core
spiritual practices can you integrate, and how can you
make them a part of your daily routine?

3. What Distractions Pull You Away from Christ? Identify

distractions that tend to take you away from focusing on
Christ. How might developing a "Rule of Life" help you
choose Christ above these distractions?

4. Are You Willing to Prioritize Accountability? Reflect

on the role of accountability within your "Rule of Life."
Are you willing to involve others who can support you
on this journey of prioritizing Christ?

5. How Can Your "Rule of Life" Contribute to Emotional

and Spiritual Maturity? Consider how structuring your
life around a "Rule of Life" can contribute to both
emotional and spiritual growth. How might intentional
practices impact your overall well-being?
 54

6. How Do You Feel About Prioritizing Christ in Your

Daily Life? Reflect on your feelings about prioritizing
Christ in your daily practices. Are you excited about the
prospect, or do you anticipate challenges? What steps
can you take to overcome any resistance?

7. What Transformations Are You Hoping For?: Envision

the potential transformations that could result from
developing a "Rule of Life" centered around loving
Christ. How might your emotional and spiritual well-
being evolve as you intentionally choose Christ above
all else?
 55

Life changing exercise

Identify Your Priorities: Take time to assess your current
priorities and commitments. Write down the things that
compete for your attention and devotion. Reflect on whether
your love for Christ truly holds the top position.

Create a "Rule of Life": Develop a "Rule of Life" by

identifying core spiritual practices that resonate with you.
These could include daily prayer, scripture reading, silence,
Sabbath observance, and acts of service. Design a flexible
framework that integrates these practices into your routine.

Set Specific Goals: Set specific goals for each practice within
your "Rule of Life." Determine how often you will engage in
each practice and what outcomes you hope to achieve. These
goals will provide direction and purpose to your spiritual
growth.

Incorporate Accountability: Invite a trusted friend, mentor,

or spiritual partner to join you on this journey. Share your
"Rule of Life" and the goals you've set. Regularly check in
with them to discuss your progress and challenges, providing
mutual support and encouragement.

Reflect on Distractions: Reflect on distractions that often

draw you away from focusing on Christ. Create a list of these
distractions and brainstorm strategies to minimize their impact.
 56

Consider setting boundaries or practicing self-discipline to

overcome them.

Visualize Your Ideal Spiritual Journey: Take time to

visualize the ideal spiritual journey you aspire to experience.
Envision how your "Rule of Life" will shape your daily
routine, deepen your connection with Christ, and contribute to
your emotional and spiritual growth.

Embrace Flexibility: Embrace flexibility within your "Rule of

Life." As you embark on this journey, you may encounter
unforeseen challenges or changes in circumstances. Allow
room for adjustments while remaining committed to your core
practices.