Copyright © 2017 Amo Jones

This book is a work of fiction. Names and characters are the product of the author’s imagination and any resemblance to actual persons, living
or dead is entirely coincidental.

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Note: This story is not suitable for persons under the age of 18.
*Potential triggers lie within this book.
**If the word “fuck” offends you, please don’t read this book.

Cover: Jay Aheer from Simply Defined Art

Interior graphics and formatting: Champagne Formats
Editing: Kayla Robichaux from Hot Tree Editing
&
Barbra Hoover from Hot Tree Editing.
 Table of Contents

TITLE PAGE
COPYRIGHT
DEDICATION

RAZING GRACE: PART 1

PROLOGUE
ONE
TWO
THREE
FOUR
FIVE
SIX
SEVEN
EIGHT
NINE
TEN
ELEVEN
TWELVE
THIRTEEN
FOURTEEN
FIFTEEN
SIXTEEN
SEVENTEEN
EIGHTEEN
NINETEEN
TWENTY
TWENTY-ONE
TWENTY-TWO
TWENTY-THREE
TWENTY-FOUR
TWENTY-FIVE
TWENTY-SIX
TWENTY-SEVEN
TWENTY-EIGHT
TWENTY-NINE
THIRTY
THIRTY-ONE
THIRTY-TWO
THIRTY-THREE
THIRTY-FOUR
THIRTY-FIVE
THIRTY-SIX
THIRTY-SEVEN
THIRTY-EIGHT
THIRTY-NINE
FORTY
FORTY-ONE
FORTY-TWO
EPILOGUE

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
OTHER BOOKS
To fucked up love stories and the demons that inspire them.
 Previously

One hour earlier

I PACE AROUND THE KITCHEN, tightly wrapping my cardigan around myself. Raze has been gone for three
hours. Three hours is surely enough time.
What’s taking them so long? They took enough men to end the war in Iraq, so why the fucking
around?
I pause my thoughts, listening closely to the sounds. The house is usually always a little noisy. There’s
always some sort of sound to the silence, but it’s blank right now. Nothing.
A shiver of fear slithers down my spine as I step backward and collide into a body. I let out a scream
just as a hand flies up to cover my mouth. “Shut the fuck up. I don’t like screamers.”
I breathe heavily, my chest falling and rising in fear. Arms clutch my shoulders as my captor spins me
to face him. He’s an older man who has to be in his early sixties. He smiles back at me and my eyebrows
draw together.
“President La Mont?” I suck in a breath. Fucking corrupted government.
He grins. That’s when I notice Cassia standing at the threshold of the kitchen, leaning against the
frame, and smirking smugly at me.
“What the hell do you want?”
“From you? Nothing. Where’s Raze?”
“I’m not telling you shit.”
Cassia rolls her eyes and walks toward us. “He’ll be at the base, Daddy. Let’s go there.”
“Daddy?” I inch my head back. “That’s rather formal for a love child who you don’t know,” I say to
the man, and cock my head.
“You got a death wish, child?” he asks, grinning slowly. “Because I have enough resources standing
outside this very house to make you disappear.”
“Obviously you do, if you think you can put your hands on me,” I reply.
Cassia laughs as her elbow draws back and her fist connects with my eye. A sharp crack sounds out
and my socket throbs with pain. “Shut up, bitch. Raze doesn’t give a fuck about you. When will you
learn?”
I snarl at her, and the old man grips my arm tightly until I fear he might snap it clean off. He begins
walking us back through the kitchen and out the front door. The sunset hits my skin instantly as they direct
me toward a dark limo. Opening the door, they push me forcefully inside and climb in behind me before
driving toward the base.
Pulling me out of the car, Cassia’s hand flies up to her mouth to stifle her scream. I step out of the car
and see all the bodies scattered everywhere. Flies are already inching over the dead flesh and I know,
because of the humidity, it won’t be long before the stench of death takes over.
As I fight the need to gag, Peter yanks me into his body and looks at her. “Pull it in, Cassia. We need
to be on our game, understand?”
I look over my shoulder and see two other cars that were following us pull up behind the limo. The
men get out with their weapons raised.
He nudges my head with his arm. “Focus, you little cunt.”
I swallow and watch as he leads me toward the front doors of the hall that sits beside Kurr’s house. I
pray, even though I know God would have wiped his hands of me, that none of these bodies are Raze,
Miles, Beast, Hella, Frost, or any of the boys I know.
“Show time.” He launches his foot through the doors, which swing open and I freeze, my eyes finding
Raze instantly. His eyes are something else entirely right now, and I immediately know something is
wrong. I’ve never seen him look this… dark. Once he sees the hand that’s around my mouth, he bares his
teeth, and that’s when I drop my eyes to see him clutching….
Oh, shit. I’m going to be sick.
Peter chuckles from behind me and nudges me forward as Raze steps toward us slowly. “Now, now,
everyone is going to need to drop their weapons right now, or I’ll put a bullet so deep in this little nun’s
skull that she will be praying to God to send her to Hell.”
Raze growls and I look around at everyone, searching for Miles. Raze steps forward again and pauses
by a body lying on the ground.
“You’re going to need to let her go,” he says. “Right. Now.”
Peter tsks at his comment. “Nope, that’s not going to happen.”
My eyes rake down Raze until they fall onto the body on the ground, and it’s then everything inside me
breaks. A painful weeping scream rips out of my chest as tears pour from my eyes. “No, no, no!” I scream
from behind the hand.
Peter grumbles, “What the fuck is—?”
I turn around, bite down on the palm of his hand, and he lets go instantly. Pushing his chest until he
falls backwards, I snarl at him.
“You little bitch!” he shouts.
Raze lunges toward the man, but my eyes are locked on Miles’ empty shell of a body. My eyes blur,
my head spins, and my heart feels like it’s being ripped from my chest. I keep my eyes locked on his
empty, pale eyes, running toward him in slow motion, and then it happens. A loud pop sounds out at the
exact moment a piercing pain shoots through the back of my neck. My hand reaches out for Miles’ hand
that’s stretched forward, and my body falls while the deep black depths of my abyss attempt to suck me in.
Everything that was once there no longer is. The pain disappears along with my vision, and I fall, my head
landing on my arm, the final thing I remember being the tips of my fingers connecting with Miles’ and a
deep chill slithering into the wound at the back of my neck.
My heavy eyelids peel open and onto the blank white walls of nothingness. Everything is pale and
white—the floor, walls, and everything around me. It’s like I’m floating inside a cloud. Where am I?
What’s happened?
“Puddin’?”
 I spin around, my eyes locking on Miles. He looks the same, in his trademark crisp suit and his
hair falling tidily over his collar. “Miles?” I whisper.
He walks toward me, reaching his hand out. “It’s me.”
My hand finds his and I close my eyes at the contact. “Where are we? What’s happened?”
He looks at me sadly. “Puddin’, you’re gonna need to go back. Raze needs you.”
“What?” I whisper, and then everything comes crashing into me. Miles. Dead. Lifeless. Me,
getting…?
I reach behind my neck to find it clean.
“Miles?” I cry, my sobs ripping out of my chest. “No.” I shake my head. “No, I’m not leaving
without you.”
“You have to, baby. You can’t be here.”
“I’m here, and I’m not leaving without you.”
“Yes, you are,” he says with a cocked brow.
My tears continue to fall as I shake my head. “I’m not.” I wipe them away angrily. “I love you,
Miles. God,” I breathe out. “You… you were the one who showed me how to love, Miles. Not because
you gave it, but because you made me feel it.” I take his hand and press it against my chest. “This? You
made it beat again. I love you.”
Miles smiles as a tear falls from his eye, landing in a perfect droplet on my hand. He sniffs. “You’ll
always be my puddin’, but you need to go back to Raze. He needs you now more than ever. Promise me
you’ll take care of him.”
“No. I’m not leaving you.”
“Puddin’—”
“No.” I shake my head and weep. “I’m never leaving you.”
Where time stands still… just for a second

I WALKED THROUGH THE DRY fallen leaves that littered the grass, my heavy boots taking me to where a
piece of myself lay lifeless, unmoving—dead. To the one person who left a hole so deep inside me that
it’s not recoverable. The purple, blue, and pink wind charm swayed in the gusts, the trickle of the
feathers that hung off it gliding over my grazed and raw knuckles. As I reached my destination, I drew
in a breath, placing the wind charm down over the pearl white and pink headstone. The final resting
place of the piece of my heart I would never fucking get back. No amount of blood that had been shed,
or the tears that had been poured, would ever bring her back. Ever.
Kneeling in front of the stone, I swiped away the purple flowers that were delicately laid at the
base and ran my finger over the name carved into the fine marble.
“I’ve never been good at using my words….”
“‘CAUSE I FLIPPED HER ASS around and pounded my dick balls deep in her. Obviously.”
“What?” I turned toward him. “She’s your sister!’
“Foster! She wasn’t my actual sister, and she fucking loved it. Loved my monster cock.”
“Jesus fucking Christ.”
He laughed, throwing his head back and clutching his stomach. “I’m joking, man. I didn’t.” Then
he shrugged. “I just fucked her in the ass.”

Tipping the rest of my drink down my throat, I hiss, “Fuck you, Miles Cavendish. Motherfucker.”
“Raze?” Amy walks toward me, covering her belly. Looking back to her face, I tilt my head and point.
“What’s that?”
She looks down to the little bump and then back to me, wiping the tears from her eyes. “I’m pregnant,
Raze, and Miles was the father.”
What? It would take her fucking Miles into oblivion to impregnate her. Gotta hand it to the chick
though; she loved Miles with all she had. Which, admittedly, wasn’t much. I honestly still don’t know who
he wanted more. Her or Blake. I don’t even know if he knew who he wanted more.
“Jesus,” I mutter, shaking my head and placing my whiskey down onto the bar. “Did he know?”
She takes a seat on the stool next to me, nodding her head. “Of course. He didn’t know how to take it,
though.”
I scoff. That’s putting it fucking lightly. A kid? In this world? There’s no fucking way Miles would
have been excited about that. Miles and a kid would go together about as well as ice cream and ketchup.
“Amy,” I say, inching forward. “Did he say anything else to you?”
She looks at me, confused. “Like what, Raze?”
That sneaky fucker didn’t tell her about Blake.
Shaking my head, I nudge my chin toward the bar man. “Another.”
“Raze?” she whispers. “I heard about your gir—”
“Shut up. Just….” I throw back the rest of my drink. “Just don’t.”

“She’s not waking up, Raze!” Hella boomed from across the room. A sick shade of red clouded my
vision, my chest rising and falling. Flying across the room, I clenched my hand around President La
Mont’s throat. His face turned purple, strained under my grip. He chuckled, his throat contracting
under the palm of my hand. “You can’t kill me.”
 His men raised their weapons one at a time, as if in slow motion.
Cassia stepped backward, shaking her head. “Raze, you can’t kill him! He was the fucking
President!”
I grinned, my grip tightening around his thick neck. With one sharp flick of my wrist, his neck
snapped, his eyes froze, and then I watched as the life slowly seeped out of them. “Like I give a fuck.”
The whole room let out a shocked breath. Gunshots blasted out across the room, coming from all
angles, so I dove toward the ground, gripping onto Millie’s body. I didn’t know whether she was
breathing, but I hoped, for every single motherfucker’s sake here tonight, that she was. I’d kill
everyone, kill every single breathing person here, if she was dead. There’s no way I could live without
her, no fucking way. I just got her; we only just established a fucking balance between ourselves.
Gripping underneath her head, her long blonde hair falling between my fingers and the blood trickling
from the back of her neck all over my hands in sticky weeps, I pressed my lips to her cold forehead, my
hand lacing around the back of her neck.
And that’s when I felt it. The faint pulse.
“Come on, baby. I fucking need you,” I whispered into her hair. Hair that still smelled like her.
Placing her head down gently, I slid her behind a pushed over table, using it as a shield, and pulled
out my phone, ignoring the war that had erupted inside the room. The ringing in my ear was short-
lived, when Bella finally answered.
“Raze? It’s 2:00 a.m. I know you pay well, but two fucking a.m.! You know I have Sophie.”
“Bella, I wouldn’t ask you if it wasn’t important.”
“Shit,” she replied, muffled scuffing sounds whispered in the background, and then a door slid
closed. “How bad is it?”
“It’s Millie, and it’s bad—I think. Back neck wound, she’s not responsive, but her pulse is there
faintly.”
“Raze, get her out of there now. I might need to call in Roger. Are you okay with that?”
“I don’t give a fuck, Bella. Meet me at my place.”
“Raze?”
“Yeah?” I prompted, the popping of gunshots lessening, proving the end to whatever was going on
in here was drawing to a close, but I didn’t care. In that very moment, I needed my girl fucking safe
and away from all this shit.
“I might need to operate, and you kn—”
“Shut up, Bella. I’m well aware of the consequences. That won’t happen. But if it does, you know
the drill.” I paused, swallowing. Fuck, I couldn’t think about the possibility of having to bury Millie.
“It’ll be taken care of.” I look down to Millie. “She would be taken care of.”
Bella sighed. “Okay, Raze. I’ll meet you at your place.”
Hanging up the phone, I stood and looked around at the fallen bodies, and then to the president’s
lifeless sack of skin. Well, ex-president. Fucking love elections, but that’s not to say this wouldn’t bring
a shit-ton of heat. Blowing out a deep breath, I gripped onto the table until my knuckles turned white.
“Raze?” Beast hollered from across the room. “Bro, this is a fucking messy situation. We’re gonna
need something solid to back this mess. What the fuck are we going to do? This is some heavy heat.”
The wheels in my brain turned, but I couldn’t fully focus, because Millie’s body was paralyzed at
my feet. Her beautiful fucking features had been frozen in time. All at the hands of a goddamn bullet.
“Raze!” Beast repeated, snapping me out of my daze. “We don’t have much time.”
Nodding, I look up to him. “Everyone clear out. We can make this look like it was between one
piece of shit organization and another.”
Beast grinned, liking where I was going with this. “Yeah,” I clarified. “This will work in our favor.
They’ll cover it, because they have to, because it’s The Army.”
 “But you know the gavel is going to fall to you, whether this place stands or not, right?” Beast
queried, his eyes narrowing, watching for my reaction.
What? Did he fucking think this was what I wanted? Fuck no.
“I’m prepared for that, Beast,” I growled at him. “Move. Get this scene in line, and then we need
to clear out.” I looked toward Joker and the rest of The 6. “Start cleaning this shit. Take anyone out
who’s linked to me.” Joker paused, his Adam’s apple bobbing under his swallow. “Now!” They all
moved quickly, and I looked down to Millie, slipping my hands under her tiny body and scooping her
into my chest.
“Raze.” Hella stepped up toward me, with Frost on his tail.
“Hella, before you even think about making a statement, you might wanna get that fucker away
from me before I rip his fucking throat out.” My eyes remained on the wall ahead, my tone emotionless
and flat. If Frost even thought for a second that he had some sort of power over Millie, I’d eradicate
him.
I looked directly at Hella, and he searched my eyes briefly before nodding and swinging his head
over his shoulder toward Frost. “Go help Beast,” I commanded.
Frost held his position for a beat longer before turning on his heel and walking toward Beast to
help set up the scene to make it look like things came to blow between President La Mont and Kurr.
Truth be told, Kurr was one of La Mont’s many enemies so it wouldn’t come as a complete shock or
surprise, but we needed to get out of here, fast.
“What, Hella? Spit it out, ‘cause I ain’t got time.” I knew he had something to say. He wouldn’t be
Hella if he didn’t come with his smart fucking mouth.
“That’s my sister you’re holding.”
“Yeah?” I question, my eyes blaring right through him. This fucker better watch it. I ain’t in no
biker club. I fall under no one, answer to no one, and don’t need anyone to handle my shit. I’d take out
their whole club and chop their bodies into itty bitty pieces before feeding them to my dogs. They like
meat. “This? Her? She’s my fucking girl, so I’m pretty sure I outfuck you.” Then I spin around,
dodging the warzone of bodies and making my way out the front door. I kissed Millie’s head, her heart
still beating in her chest, but the blood coming through faster, heavier. “I got you, baby. I won’t let you
go, not now, not ever.”

“Raze?” Amy snaps her fingers, pulling my attention back to the present.
“Yeah, what?” I respond absently, my head still half in and half out of my flashback.
Her eyebrows knit in worry. “I asked how she’s holding up.”
“She’s stable, but still in a coma. We’ve got her at home.” My tone is clipped, and it’s not because I’m
not exactly pleased about her carrying Miles’ baby. I’m just an asshole, more so than usual as of late. I
wish I could say I gave a fuck about her carrying Miles’ baby, though, but I don’t.
“Okay.” Amy smiles. “Well….” Her voice dies out as the deep orchestrated depressing music comes
out the speakers.
I shake my head. “Miles would be turning in his fucking grave if he knew this was the kinda wake he
was getting.”
Amy laughs nervously, turning back around to face me. Her blue eyes twinkle, and her natural blonde
hair is up in some sort of twist. “Raze? I’m having a boy, and I obviously want to call him Miles.” She
pauses, but I don’t flinch. Don’t fucking take this the way I think you’re taking this. “But I’d also love
for him to have your name too, if that’s okay?” She scans my eyes and I shuffle uncomfortably. “If not, it’s
fine. I don’t have to. It’s just I know how much you meant to Miles, and I—”
“Amy?”
“Yeah?” She looks terrified.
 “Not now.”
She sighs. “Okay, Raze.”
I know Amy doesn’t have any family. She’ll be doing all this on her own, and I give her props for
keeping the baby, even though things between her and Miles were shaky. I’m not against abortion;
everyone’s situation is different and some parents feel like they don’t have another choice. Hell, some
actually don’t, so I give Amy kudos for keeping it, regardless. But I’m still not comfortable with this
whole thing. I mean… a fucking kid? Fuck no. I couldn’t think of anything worse. But she’s a good girl.
She deserves to be happy, but it ain’t on my dick to make sure of that.
Fucking Miles.
Her face falls, and I can see sadness washing over her features.
Fucking Miles.
“Where are you staying?” I ask, sliding my phone unlocked and tapping on a new message.
“I’m at my place. It’s a shithole, but it’ll do.”
I nod, not really giving a shit, but figuring I should take her number just in case. “What’s your number
and I’ll text you.”
She starts rambling off her number, and I send her a quick message so she’d have mine. “Thanks,
Raze, but it’s really not needed. I got this.”
Got what?
She adds a soft smile that doesn’t reach her eyes. I have to bite down any asshole snarks, which
admittedly, without Millie around, has been harder for me. Just as Amy stands from her stool, the front
doors of the bar burst open and a gust of wind flows in behind it. A loud smash sounds out from the doors
hitting the walls, and I whip my attention to the entryway, ready to kill whoever the fuck thinks they can
interfere with this wake. When my eyes raise to the door, I draw in a deep breath.
“What the fuck is this god-awful sound, and this… this was not a part of the fucking plan!”
“Baby?” I grin.
“THE BULLET SKIMMED OVER HER neck. You’re lucky it didn’t penetrate through. It’s a surface wound, so
that’s why the blood has been consistent but her pulse hasn’t died out. She’s still not awake though.
That needs to be kept an eye on. I’ve set up a drip with enough fluids to get her through, as well as a
catheter, so all we need now is for her to wake up.”
Everything else had died out. A surface wound? Why the fuck was she not waking up? I felt my
chest grow heavier, my breathing thickening.
“Raze?” Bella warned. “Don’t you go losing your shit on me now. I’m sure she will be fine. She’s a
strong girl, Raze. I mean, the spilt second I had her—”
Shaking my head, I ask, “Why the fuck isn’t she waking up?” I’m not equipped to feel anything, let
alone whatever the fuck it was that Millie being hurt was doing to me.
Bella sat down beside me on Millie’s bed. I figured, if she woke up and lost her shit at me, at least
she could have her own space to do it in. The last thing I wanted was for her to run, and I knew if I had
put her into my room, there would’ve been a higher possibility of her running. “Look, there’s no
straightforward answers when it comes to the medical world. As much as we’d like to pretend
everything is as it seems, it’s not. I can’t give you an answer to that, but there is a very high possibility
that she’s going to suffer from PTSD—posttraumatic stress disorder. When, or if, that happens”—she
looked toward me, but I kept my eyes on the ground—“there could be different outcomes. It’s not worth
stressing about right now.”
I laughed, leaning back into my chair. “Yeah, easier said than done, doc. That girl there, she was
already fucked in the head. This shit, she won’t come back from. Losing Miles?” I whispered hoarsely,
looking deep into Bella’s eyes. “She will never come back from that.”

“Millie!” I stand abruptly, the stool falling to the ground behind me.
Her head snaps toward me, her eyes zeroing in before she slides them to Amy and then slowly
dropping to her swollen belly. Millie’s head tilts.
Jesus fuck. She’s still wearing the robe Bella put on her, and blood is trickling down her arms from
the IV links being yanked out.
“Miles,” she says, her eyes glued on Amy’s belly. “That’s Miles’ baby.” Her eyes snap back up to
Amy, who is understandably terrified. I step in front of Amy and toward Millie, whose eyes flick to mine
in annoyance, obviously thinking I’m standing in front of the pregnant woman to protect her and her baby
bump. “Oh step the fuck off, Raze. I’m not crazy.”
 My eyes narrow. “You sure about that, baby?” I question, not even bothering to correct her paranoia.
“Don’t,” she states, her eyes closing as pain flashes across her beautiful features.
“Don’t what?”
“Just… shut up, Raze.” Her eyes open and go back to Amy.
“I’m not crazy. I’m just a girl who was very, very close to that baby’s dad.” Amy looks between us,
before Millie sighs slightly. “I’ll be right back,” Millie murmurs, cursing under her breath about poor
music choices and walking toward the jukebox. She spends five minutes there, scowling at the playlist.
“Raze!” Millie yells out, her eyes not moving off the playlist.
“Yeah, babe?”
“We’re taking this back to your place.”
“Our place,” I confirm.
She walks toward me, her shoulders pulled back in defiance but her eyes softening at my glare.
“That’s still up for discussion.” Then, she looks to Amy. “Do you want to come?”
Amy bobs her head reluctantly. “Okay.”
I spin around and watch everyone. I notice Blake isn’t here. I’ll kill him, or Millie will. Can’t tell you
which one of us would get to him first. Probably her, because she’s such a fucking snake. Standing on the
stool, I press my fingers into my mouth and whistle loudly to everyone. The 6 are here, but The Devil’s
Own aren’t. They came to the burial to show their respect, which I appreciated, but we wanted to keep
this part small. Melissa had been around the house every single day for the few days Millie had been in a
coma too, driving me fucking crazy.
“My house.” I nudge my head in the direction of the door, and The 6 get up from their table in the
corner, walking toward me. They all pause when they see Millie.
She storms out the door. “It’s rude to stare!”
Joker whistles. “She’s a little moody, boss.”
Yeah, fucking tell me about it.

Climbing out of the Range Rover, I run around the truck quickly, reaching out for her arm. I can’t believe
she dodged the guards and caught a fucking taxi to the bar. What kind of dumbass taxi driver would pick
up a crazy-looking chick wearing a robe with blood coming down her arm? She looks like she just
escaped a fucking insane asylum. “Hold the fuck up, babe. You’re gonna need to calm down.”
She pauses, turning around to face me. “Raze, I’m fine, okay? I have a bit of a headache, but that’s it.”
“What do you remember?” I ask, my eyes not leaving hers.
“Can we talk about this later? I need to put on some clothes, because I look like I just broke out of a
white padded room.” She yanks her hand out of mine and walks up to the front door.
Yeah, she’s not fine.
PAIN.
I PUSH OPEN THE DOOR and lead Amy in. “Go around the back. Everyone will be out there.”
“Okay.” She walks off just as cars begin pulling up. Rufus, one of my new guards, walks up to me.
“Boss? You want us to lead everyone out back?”
I nod. “Thanks.” Looking back to Millie, who’s walking up the stairs, I mutter, “I’ll be back in a sec.”
Taking the steps two at a time, I follow her into her room, seeing the mattress is messy and the IV
links hanging off their hooks on the side of her bed. “Millie!” I walk in behind her, kicking the door
closed behind me. “What? You think you’re the only person this has affected? Huh? Miles was my
brother.”
She turns toward me. “Yes, Raze. And I said I don’t want to talk about it yet.” She walks into the
closet, pulling out some of the clothes I left in there. Slipping into the bathroom, she turns the shower on.
I follow her, the running water fills the silence between us as she moves into the stall and closes
herself in. “Millie, talk to me, baby.”
“Raze. I can’t.” She chokes back a sob and I move forward, swinging the shower door open until it
slams against the wall.
It’s then I see she’s been crying the whole time. “Fuck,” I mutter, stepping inside the shower with her,
clothes and all. “Come here.” I pull her into my chest and kiss the top of her head.
“I can’t, Raze. I can’t be here… around this place. I just can’t.”
I freeze. “Can’t what exactly?”
“I can’t be here with you right now. Everything is reminding me of Miles. I just think I need a bit of
time.”
I push her backward, my hand tightening around her upper arm. Wiping her hair off her face, I search
her eyes. “I’m not letting you go.” Aside from Millie being mine, I have a whole bunch of shit that needs
sorting. Ikea, the leader of the organization who runs The Army, is calling me on Monday about the next
moves, and I still haven’t sat down with The Devil’s Own about all the bullshit brewing between us.
Fuck, Melissa.
“We can talk about this later, but right now, you need to call your sister to let her know you’re awake.
I’ll call Bella. She’ll want to run a quick check on you.”
She swipes the water from her face and looks up at me through red eyes. “How long have I been out?”
“Almost a week.”
 “Shit.” She turns toward the shower and twists it off, pulling the towel down and wrapping it around
her body. “A week? Really?” She looks up at me and then squeezes the towel. “I just need time, Raze.”
I narrow my eyes, walking forward until her back slams against the wall and my chest is flush against
hers. Bringing my hands to either side of her head, I cage her in. “You can have all the time you need for
anything—except us. I won’t let you go through this shit on your own.”
She stops, her eyes searching over the floor. “I feel selfish that I feel this hurt, when you knew him for
longer and were brothers, but….”
“But you loved him too?” I confirm through gritted teeth, pushing off the wall. I’ve known for a while
now how Millie felt about Miles. I knew she loved him, but I didn’t know the extent of that love. Shit, we
haven’t even used that word between us.
She nods. “I did.” She looks up at me, a sad look flashing across her face. “But I love you too, Raze.”
My world stops for a second. A split second. “But I still can’t do this, not right now.” Then it starts
spinning in full force again. She brushes what she just said off as if she was talking about the morning
news, and moves away from me.
“You can’t love me, Millie,” I scoff, looking at her.
She stops, huffs, and turns to face me. “Shut up, Raze. I do love you.” She steps up to me, her hands
gripping my face and her eyes searching mine. Fucking hate when she looks at me like this. Like I’m filled
with a hundred unanswered questions and she knows every single fucking answer. “I love you, and I’m not
fucking afraid to say it. I won’t leave. I’ll stand by you, because I want to be with you. I do, and God
knows I’m going to be here for you when you finally realize Miles is gone. Raze—gone, but I can’t do a
relationship with you, not yet.”
She just said some deep shit like that, and then ended it with a “but I can’t be with you.” My hands
fly out to her arms, and I push her until her back slams up against the wall again.
Her psycho little grin makes a brief appearance. “You haven’t forgotten how I like it.”
I chuckle. “Naw, babe. I haven’t.” I press into her, my cock digging into her stomach. “‘Cause I
fucking taught you.” Then I grip around the back of her thighs and lift her off the ground, guiding her legs
to wrap around my waist. Her lips drop down onto mine and I take them. I lick and suck them like they’re
a fucking popsicle on a hot fucking day, because she’s fucking mine, and there’s no way she’s pulling that
“but I can’t be with you right now” bullshit card on me. I’ll fucking kill her myself before I let her walk
out of my arms again.
She smiles, tilting her head back to give me better access to her neck, and her mouth opens, ready to
say something else. My hand slams onto her mouth, forcing it closed. I narrow my eyes. “Shut the fuck up,
Millie. Right now, the only thing I want coming out of this mouth is my fucking cock before I force it back
in.”
Her grin presses against the palm of my hand and she rotates her hips against me, rubbing herself over
my dick. I groan, my eyes shutting briefly before they fly open again. A wet slickness slips across the
palm of my hand that’s covering her mouth, and heat rushes straight to my fucking balls.
Fuck.
The chick I broke, fucking annihilated, could now probably match me. That’s the thing about breaking
girls; they learn how to live with it and then come out on top, because they observed, felt, and lived
through being broken. They weren’t born broken. They thought with a rational side of their brain once.
Millie is no exception. The girl is not only the sexiest woman I’ve ever laid eyes on, but she has the kinda
crazy that is rarely found now. I say rarely, because no doubt it’s a dying breed—because their husbands
probably eighty-sixed their fucking asses.
Gotta admit, having my hands wrapped around Millie always gets my dick hard, and don’t get me
started on the sight of blood smeared over her soft skin. Loosening the grip I have around her mouth, my
thumb brushes over her bottom lip before I step backward, placing her feet on the ground.
 “Get changed.” I walk out of the bathroom, taking a seat on her bed. Running my hands over my face, I
rest my elbow on my knee, my hand covering my mouth. I can’t figure out if she wants to talk about losing
Miles, but I wasn’t touching that subject with her right now, because where she’s hurting, I’m angry.
Millie steps out of the bathroom, fully dressed and her still slightly wet hair swooped to one side. My
eyelids get heavy as I look over her body. She’s lost too much weight since being in a coma, but because
it’s Millie, all I want to do is wrap her legs around my neck and let my tongue slow dance with her clit.
She recognizes my stare and pauses.
“Raze?” she whispers warningly.
“What?” I ask innocently, dragging my eyes up her long legs before resting on her face.
“We have guests. It’d be rude.”
I chuckle, leaning back on my elbows. “Good thing I’m not fucking polite. Bring that ass over here.”
The door bursts open, smashing against the wall. I leap off the bed and step in front of Millie,
shielding her, until I see it’s Melissa, so I drop my guard.
“Millie!” Melissa runs toward her sister, pulling her into a hug. I step aside and make my way to
Hella, who’s leaning against the doorframe and nudging his head at me.
“How is she?”
“Not sure,” I reply honestly, copping a quick look over my shoulder. “Still crazy as fuck, just don’t
know the extent of it yet, or if it’s worse than before.” Hella watches me closely, his arms crossed over
his chest. I cock my eyebrow. “Got something to voice, fucker?”
Hella snorts. “Nah, bro. But Millie is smart. She was the smarter one of the two. Just don’t tell
Melissa that.” He smirks, and I narrow my eyes. I remember Millie talking about her and Hella having a
thing a while ago, and him using her to get Melissa jealous. I tilt my head as I study him, wondering how
mad Beast would be if I had to end his right-hand man.
His face turns serious. “Rein it in, brother. I see the crazy that lurks in your eyes. That ain’t what I was
saying.”
“Well, better make your fucking point then, before I snap your fucking neck.”
Hella pauses, and then a slow grin creeps onto his mouth. I know Hella. He’d never back down from
anything, much less a testosterone-fueled death match.
“I was just going to say she looks good.” My eyes squint. “Bruh, the girl has only ever been with
you.” I scoff, and he pauses. “What, has she not?”
I watch her with careful eyes. “Nah, there was someone else.”
THEY SAY THAT OVER TIME, pain changes, that the pain of losing someone can almost disappear. Sitting at
Miles’ wake and watching people who knew him dance, drink, and laugh doesn’t sit well with me. Miles
should be here with us. It still feels like yesterday when I last saw him, and in a sense, I guess it sort of
was for me. I still remember his lifeless eyes peering through me just as I fell to the ground.
I reach for the wound at the back of my neck, my throat contracting as the memories play in my mind.
Miles dancing with me.
Touching me.
Laughing with me—or at me.
Pressing his foot on mine when I almost got him caught for sneaking into my room to watch horror
movies.
Miles flashing me his stunning, toothy grin whenever I’d say something witty, to show he was
proud of my smart mouth.
The truth is, I don’t think time will change that at all. I’ll still miss him the same every day. Time
doesn’t heal.
Whoever said that was full of shit.
I look over to Raze, who’s standing near the sound system, which is set up outside on the patio. His
eyes never stray off me for long, and instead of trying to decipher what’s going on in his head, I’ve
decided to just let it go. I cock my head at him.
Melissa nudges her elbow into mine and smiles from the seat beside me. She points her drink across
the yard toward Raze. “So you couldn’t just go find you a nice man. You had to go and snag one of the
most powerful men in the country. Go figure, sis.”
“Hey!” I scold her. “Like I had a say in the matter.” We both look over to Raze, my eyes dragging over
his opened suit shirt and dark slacks. He looks good. But then, he always does.
“I’m all for scary men. I mean, hey, look at Hella.” Melissa laughs awkwardly, taking a sip of her
drink. “But that man there”—she points toward Raze with her glass—“isn’t scary, Millie. He’s spine-
chillingly evil.”
“I’m aware, Melissa. What’s your point?”
“My point is that you need to be careful.”
 I smile weakly at her. “Too late.”
Melissa has been trying to be more of a sister to me since she thought she failed me when I ran off to a
nunnery. I continue to tell her that it isn’t needed, but now I realize this is what she needs. In some sick
way, she needs to feel her guilt. To punish herself.
But no one could have told me otherwise back then, and I see it now. How deluded and brainwashed I
was. Now I can’t imagine a life different from the one I’m living now.
“Where’s Beast?” I ask, looking around for the rest of The Devil’s pack. It’s unlike Beast to not be
where the club is.
Melissa throws her hand up to her mouth, covering her cough. “Shit. I forgot to tell you. Meadow is
having the baby!”
“What!” I squeal excitedly, Raze’s attention snapping toward me quickly. The man is on high alert
lately, though I can’t say I blame him. I smile reassuringly at him, and he gives me a curt nod before
resuming his chatter.
“I forgot, sorry. Yeah, she’s been in labor since this morning. She’s only three centimeters dilated at
the moment, but Beast isn’t letting anyone near her. The man won’t even let me in the room.”
I’m not surprised by this. Beast and Raze are similar in more ways than they’ll ever admit to.
Caveman antics—check! Beast isn’t an asshole though, unlike Raze. I don’t even think the word asshole is
a strong enough word to use when describing Raze.
“That’s exciting.” I look over to Amy, who’s sitting on one of the pool chairs in the middle of the
grass with her head tilted up, watching the stars. “I’ll be back in a second.” I get up and walk in Amy’s
direction, stopping just as I reach her chair.
She must sense me, because she’s the first to speak. “Did you sleep with Miles?” Blunt. Her eyes
continue to watch the stars up above, and I take a seat down near her feet.
Exhaling, I clear my throat. “Um, it was complicated.”
She snorts, her chest shaking under her laugh. Amy is beautiful. She has natural mousy blonde hair that
comes down just past her shoulders, her face clean of makeup, and her eyes curve like almonds. “It’s a
simple question really,” she replies.
I ponder over her question, cranking my head over my shoulder to glance at Raze and catch him
watching us closely.
I look back at Amy. “Yes, I did.”
She gazes at me, her eyes locking onto mine, her throat bobbing as she swallows. “Does Raze know?”
I laugh, running my hands up my knitted sweater. “Well, I’d say he very much knows. Why do you ask,
though?” I tilt my head, running my eyes over her face.
She goes back to watching the stars. “I knew he was sleeping around. I knew this. I knew that what we
had wasn’t the real deal. I knew he didn’t want me the way I wanted him, but I kept the baby anyway.”
Now, her eyes implore me. “Does that make me stupid?”
I smile. “No. That makes you human.” Especially over someone as suave as Miles. I take her hand in
mine. “Also, I’m really glad you kept the baby. Boy or girl?” I ask, blinking back the tears that are
threatening to surface. Don’t think.
Her face lights up. “Boy.” She leans up and swings her legs over the side of her chair. “I asked Raze
if he could have his name as the middle name. He’s not entirely hot on the idea.”
I grin. A stupid grin too. “That’s a really sweet idea, and he will be. Just give him time. Raze is not
used to normal human interactions, much less emotions. Time.”
I hope. Looking down to her bump, my heart sinks along with my smile.
“What’s wrong? Oh I don’t have to put Raze’s name if—”
“No!” I quickly interject. “That’s not what the”—I gesture to my face,—“sad shit was about.”
“Oh,” she responds. “Then what is it?”
 I suck my bottom lip into my mouth and study her closely. I don’t feel threatened by her. If anything, I
feel a bond with her, because she knew Miles. She loved Miles. And anyone who loved Miles, I would
make time for. Also, she was carrying his baby, and although I didn’t know the baby and it wasn’t born
yet, I knew with all my heart there wouldn’t be anything I wouldn’t do for it.
“It’s just….” I whisper, deepening my breathing.
“Holy shit,” she answers for me softly. “You loved Miles.”
I laugh. It wasn’t supposed to come out harsh, but it did. “You could say that. He and I, we—”
“Were trouble,” Raze answers, cutting into our conversation. God, he looks sexy. He shoves his hands
into his pockets and takes a seat on the chair opposite us, watching me closely. His eyes darken, and a
slight kink kicks up at the corner of his lip.
I swallow. Shit, I know that look. I love that look. I love this man, even if he thinks he’s not a man
who is capable of receiving love. I smile at him, or smirk, whichever way he wants to see it. His eyes
drop down to my lips.
“We were a little bit.” I pull my hungry eyes off my piece of man meat sitting opposite us and look
back at Amy, who’s watching our exchange closely. “He was like a brother to me, in a sick and twisted
way where we had sex—once—and he would occasionally touch my butt.”
Amy snorts, her hand flying to her mouth, her eyes going straight to Raze’s.
“Don’t worry about him.” I wave at Raze with an eye roll. “He knows everything.” I pause and look
up to the sky. “Well, not everything, but most of the shenanigans Miles and I got up to.” I swing my eyes to
a now slightly annoyed Raze. “Don’t you, baby?”
He growls—straight up growls at me. Which only makes me giggle-snort. “Anyway, I give lots of
fucks about Miles and anything to do with him.” I look down to her belly.
She smiles at me. “Thank you.”
“Where are you staying?” I ask, trying not to take notice at how her maternity clothes cling a little too
tight to her body. I’m not one to judge; I’m simply observing and want to help in any way I can.
“Uhhh.” She clears her throat and looks back to Raze. “I have a place, thank you.” Getting the hint that
she probably doesn’t want my help, I nod.
“Anyway,” she says, standing from her chair. “I better go. It’s getting late, and I have a doctor’s
appointment early tomorrow morning.”
Standing, I pull her in for a hug. “Call if you need anything at all.”
She nods, stepping away. “I will, thank you.” I don’t want to be pushy with her, but I also want her to
know I’m here if she needs anything. I already feel overprotective of that baby, regardless of how much of
an asshole Raze is being.

Raze walks in my direction once everyone has left, shutting the front door. He reaches out and grabs my
hand, pulling me into his hard body. He smiles into my hair. “Hey.”
“Hey back.” I lean into his embrace. It doesn’t feel like it was that long ago when I last saw him,
because I was asleep, or in a coma, or whatever. But he hasn’t been able to talk to me in a week.
“You made some entrance tonight.”
I laugh, snuggling into him. “Well, what can I say?” I tease, pushing myself off his solid pecks. “I
learned from the best.”
He grins down at me, and just when he’s about to say something else, someone walks in, gripping
Joker’s mask in his hand. I swallow gently, my eyes narrowing on the mask before slowly dragging them
up his body, and then finally onto the face of one of my tormentors from the dungeon. I inhale sharply.
Joker. He’s quite young, has to be in his mid-twenties, with soft features and a messy mop of brown hair.
But down his delicate and boyish face bears an angry bright red scar, which slices from the tip of his
forehead, goes over his nose, and then ends on his jawbone.
He grins at me. “What’s the matter, nun?”
Opening my mouth, I get ready to cuss him out, when Raze steps in front of me, his hands cupping my
cheeks. “Hey, look at me.”
I don’t, my eyes remain locked on the asshole behind him. Did I expect him to be young? No. What
sort of fucked up shit could have a man, who has to be no older than twenty-four, thrown into this life.
Raze yanks my face up to his roughly. “You okay with this? I can change the way I do things, baby.
This is your house now.”
I sigh, my shoulders sagging in defeat. I don’t want to be any more of a nuisance to Raze or how he
operates. “It’s fine.” I shove out of his grip and sidestep around him, squaring my shoulders and
shrugging. “He wasn’t that great with his tongue anyway.” Then I walk up the stairs, ignoring the chuckle
that comes out of Joker.
I pause on the top step before walking straight back into my old room. I stop inside, and I’m just about
to close the door behind myself, when I look at my old bed. Memories of Miles lying sprawled out
comfortably flash through my brain, and I step back slowly, keeping my eyes locked on the bed. Slamming
the door closed again once I’m in the hallway, I turn on my heel and head to the bright red door at the end
of the hallway. The door I know that leads to Raze’s room.
I’m guessing he has a lot of shit to sort out, and I do want to know all about it, but I’m feeling tired,
and… lonely. I want my friend. I miss Miles. And before I can loosen my clenched throat, a tear drops
over my cheek. Ignoring the door I know leads to Miles’ bedroom, I walk directly up to Raze’s door and
push it open. There’s one thing I know for sure: loneliness always comes when people aren’t around me.
When my brain isn’t busy.
I walk up the second flight of stairs that lead into his massive bedroom, swallowing my loss and pain.
Sighing, I strip out of my clothes before walking into Raze’s closet, pulling down one of his shirts.
Slipping it over my head, I let my hair fall down my back and slide under the clean linen sheets. Tossing
and turning, I try to summon sleep with no such luck, and it isn’t until another hour passes when I’m finally
met by the sleep reaper.

The mattress sinks beside me, and I open my eyes slightly. “Raze?” I whisper out hoarsely.
“Yeah, baby, it’s me. Go back to sleep.” The sheets peel off me before he slips in behind me and
wraps his hard arm around my torso, pulling me into his body.
“I miss him,” is all I say, the dark room providing me with the comfort I need to open up a little.
He presses a light kiss onto the back of my head. “I know, baby. I miss him too.” Spinning around, my
leg slips in between his strong ones. I bring my hands up to his neck, studying his face in what little
moonlight the cracks in the blinds allow.
“I—” he murmurs, but my finger comes up to his mouth, pressing against his soft lips.
Shaking my head, I search his eyes. “You don’t need to.” The warmth of his body penetrates my skin
and I drop my finger, inching closer to his lips until they’re pressed against mine. “You don’t need to talk,
Raze.”
He groans, rolling me onto my back with his heavy body, every inch of his muscled frame weighing
down on me. Stretching my legs wide with his, he drops his mouth down to mine, a mere breath away, and
draws his tongue across the edge of my bottom lip. “Mine,” he growls, widening my other leg. My
breathing comes in harder, and heat flushes my core, but I widen more for him until his cock is resting
against my pussy.
Inching my head up and catching his bottom lip between my teeth, I nod. “Yours.” Then his mouth
crashes onto mine, his soft lips massaging mine in a perfect symphony as our tongues slide over each
other in tender but rough caresses. The vibration of his groan shimmies over my lips as he grasps onto the
bottom of the T-shirt I’m wearing, peeling it over my head slowly until my hair falls over my bare
shoulders. He leans back, dropping his briefs. I lick my lips, my hungry eyes traveling down to his heavy,
thick cock that’s resting in the palm of his hand.
Scooting under the covers, Raze grabs my arm, grips my lace panties in his other hand, and tears them
off before flinging them across the room. I laugh, dropping to my back and propping up onto my elbows.
He rips the sheet off until my naked body is on display before moving down the bed, his face dipping
between my thighs while his hooded eyes remain on mine. His hands come up to each of my thighs,
spreading them wider. “Fucking missed you.” Then his mouth lightly drops down onto my bare, swollen
flesh, his lips skimming over my clit.
“Raze!” I pant. He’s teasing again; I know this. It’s his favorite game. His fingers start to knead my
inner thighs until my heart is damn near about to jump out of my chest. I’m about to start dry humping the
air if he doesn’t get down to business.
Slowly, the tip of his tongue dips inside my entrance, and then he drags it up to my clit. I moan, my
head tilting back as he circles it softly then presses his open mouth down onto my core, the warmth of his
mouth setting off a buzz of electricity through me. My back arches off the bed and his fingers tickle over
my thigh, reaching my entrance as he sinks two inside me. He finds my G-spot, caressing it slowly, while
his tongue matches his fingers’ movements. My stomach clenches, my eyes slam shut, and my mouth opens.
“I’m… I’m—”
Then he stops, the cool air from his departure assaulting my clit. I growl in frustration. He laughs,
moving back on top of me until I feel the tip of his cock waiting. Bringing his mouth down to mine, he
sinks inside me and I moan—not a pretty moan, either—as my channel stretches, opening and clenching
around his length. He pulls out then thrusts into me again slowly, sticking to his pace.
“I got you, baby.” He drops his head down to my ear. “I’ve got you.” He continues to ride me until my
body can’t climb anymore. He unleashes after a few pumps, pulling backward before driving into me
again until my scalp is thrashing against the headboard. Our bodies slide over each other from the sweat
that is slicked over our hot flesh, and the slapping of our skin mixes with the grunts and moans of our
pleasure. I explode, every sense I have erupting inside me until my breathing slows and my muscles
clench. My legs wrap around his waist, my orgasm wracking through my body ruthlessly. He pushes into
me a couple more times before his cock pulses with his own release. Dropping down on top of me, we
both attempt to catch our breaths. He leans up to look at me, sweat dripping off a strand of his hair and
dropping down onto my forehead.
We stay there, silent, just watching each other. I grip around the back of his neck, pulling his lips
down onto mine. Kissing me softly, he licks my lip again before rolling onto his back. His fingers dig into
my hips as he lifts me on top until I’m straddling him, still with his cock inside of me. He leans up,
sucking one of my nipples into his mouth before slipping his tongue all over my breast and then across my
sternum. I slowly grind against him again, noticing how his erection hasn’t gone down at all.
He grins up at me, reaching behind my head and wrapping my hair around his fist. Pulling my lips
down to his until they’re lightly pressing against each other, I can taste our sweat between our lips, as he
growls, “Come here.”
I WAKE UP THE NEXT day, finding the place where Raze had slept empty. Raking my fingers through my
awful sex hair, I pull the sheet up to my chest and look around the room. The morning sun beams through
the floor-to-ceiling windows that surround every inch of his room. Wrapping the sheet around me tightly, I
get up and walk to the window that looks over the entire back yard. It’s as stunning as I remember, but still
needs a woman’s touch. I love this house though, all the memories I’ve gained, some bad and some good.
“You’re up?” Raze murmurs.
I turn my head over my shoulder and smile. “Yeah.” He hands me a coffee.
“I’ve got some shit to sort through. Will you be okay?” His collar is popped and shirt unbuttoned to
just above his belly button. His hair is still wet from his shower, and his slacks are unbuttoned. He looks
delicious.
I take a sip of my coffee. “I want to come with you.”
“What? To the shit I have to sort through?” he asks, shoving his hands into his pants.
“Yeah. I need to stay busy, Raze, or I’ll think. And then when I think….” I stare off into the empty
room before looking back at him.
He steps toward me, his jaw taut and his eyes darkening. I swallow. Oh shit. He grips my other wrist
and spins me around until my back is against his chest.
Dropping his head down to the side of my face, he inhales roughly. “I have a hundred different ways
to keep your mind and body busy, babe.” He licks me across the back of my neck, setting off shivers that
run over my spine. “But right now, I have shit to sort out.” He pushes me away, pointing toward the closet.
“Get changed then we’ll go.”

I throw on some clothes he bought when I first got here, deciding on casual but tidy. With a sleeveless
white silk blouse and black tight pants. Half of me says “Business” and the other half of me screams
“Shots!” It’ll do. I let my long hair fall down my back in natural waves and put on a light skimming of
makeup. I’m not sure when Raze had all my stuff moved in, but it looks like it has been there for some
time now. Having half of my clothes in my old room and the other half in here suits me. It means I’ll
always have my space, and I think he made it like that knowing that, sometimes, I might need my privacy.
Pulling open the bedroom door, I walk straight past Miles’ room and down the stairs that lead to the foyer.
“You ready?” he says, taking the keys out of the drawer near the front door.
“Yeah, I guess.” I don’t know where we’re going or what I have gotten myself into, but fuck it. I’ll
wing it. I follow him out the front door and watch as he beeps the Phantom.
 “Ohhh.” I smile. “We’re taking the mob car?”
He shakes his head with a light chuckle. “It ain’t no mob car, baby. Get in.”
I slip into the comfortable, cushy leather seat and watch as he puts his seatbelt on. “Where are we
going?”
“To the Army base.”
Okay, I wasn’t expecting that. “What? Why?”
“Because I run it now.”
“SAY WHAT?” I ASK, TURNING in my seat as he floors it out of the driveway. “How are you supposed to run
that and still be kingpin, Raze? You’re going to burn yourself out.” I pause, exhaling slightly. I know I’m
just worried about him. The man has so much going on already, so throwing in this would be chaotic, and
not to mention dangerous. I’m not naïve; I know what he does is hazardous, period, but now I feel like it’s
double the risk.
“What happened with La Mont and Cassia?” It comes out as a defeated whisper and sounds weak. I
internally slap myself.
“They’re dealt with, and that’s all you need to know about that,” he answers tightly, his hands gripping
around the steering wheel.
“Why? Why is that all I need to know?”
“For your protection, Millie.”
I shake my head. “Nope. You said it wasn’t going to work like this. We had a deal.”
He’s dodging something, and the old me would have dropped it, but the new me needs to know
everything. I want to know everything, so I’m prepared. He seems to have forgotten he made me like this,
the inquisitive bitch I am now.
“Not this. It’s still too fresh. You’ll know shit when I want you to know. This is unnecessary. Just
know they’ve been dealt with.”
“So they’re dead?” I’m not dropping this until I get answers. If there’s one person walking this earth
who I want dead, it’s Cassia. So for his safety, she better be dead, or I swear to God I will knock his ass
out.
He leans against his door. “Yes and no.”
“That doesn’t make sense.” My eye twitches.
His fingers grip around the steering wheel again, this time his jaw joining as he clenches it. I grin. I
can’t help it. I like making him mad. The way his square jaw tightens and his lip curls? It’s one of the
sexiest things I’ve ever seen. Pissing my man off just bumped to number one on my list of favorite things
to do. I smirk and he notices, looking to me and then back to the road. “You got that look in your eye again,
baby.”
My eyes narrow. “Stop trying to change the subject.”
He exhales. “The shit with Cassia doesn’t need to make sense, Millie.”
“But… I should know.”
“No.”
 “Fine!” I spin around. There’s no way he would’ve kept her alive. Raze was foaming at the mouth to
slice her open. “Just tell me she’s dead and then I’ll be fine.” I watch the cars passing on the highway.
“She’s not dead.”
“What?” I gasp, my head whipping toward him.
He shrugs, not bothered. “She’s not.”
I lean into the seat in defeat. “Take me to get nuggets.” He’s stressing me out, so it’s either nuggets or I
punch him out and then we’ll crash. I happen to like this car.
“Babe, I have to—”
I massage my temples, breathing in and out and counting to ten in my head. My eyes close. “Now,
Raze.”
He pauses, watching me closely. “Fuck,” he mutters under his breath, taking the first exit off the
highway.

We pull into the high wire gates, and everything seems to look normal. There are no bodies lying in
puddles of blood, no empty shells or silent cries. Still… this place is haunted to the core, and it was also
the last place I ever saw Miles.
“Raze?” I whisper, shoving another chicken nugget into my mouth. I look toward him to catch him
already watching me. “What are we going to do about Amy?” Shit timing, I know, but nuggsperation hit
me, and now I’m reminded of how much of an ass-wipe he’s been about the baby.
His eyes narrow. “What do you mean?” Pulling up the emergency break, he keeps his eyes locked on
mine.
“I mean.” I turn to face him, knowing full well this isn’t the right time to ask him this question, but as
usual, I have no filter and I kind of enjoy ticking him off. That’s a lie; I flat out love it. “She’s having
Miles’ baby. Do you not even care a little bit?” I crumble up the brown bag.
“No.” His eyes remain on mine, unflinching and unaffected.
“No?” I scoff. “How can you give a shit about Miles and not about his kid, Raze? It doesn’t add up.”
He unclips his seatbelt, seeming to mull over his thoughts before an idea almost flashes across his
face. “Because it’s a fucking kid, Millie. Miles wouldn’t have wanted that—ever! He never wanted kids.
We were mutual on many things, and that was one of them.”
And that was one of them.
I’ll save that conversation for another time nuggsperation hits me and I decide I want to be a pain in
the ass by stressing out about our future. I mean, when you look at Raze, he’s not exactly someone you can
picture building a white picket fence with and spurting out a ton of babies for. But do I mentally want to
shut off any possibility of having kids? No, not really.
“I’m thinking that if he had the chance to hold his baby in his arms, I’m sure he would change his mind
almost instantly. You and Miles may be similar in some ways, but he wasn’t as cold as you are, and don’t
you ever take that away from him or my memory of him.” I go to pull on the door handle, suddenly mad at
him. Past funny mad, I’m in the red zone. “Oh, and you will warm up to this baby, Raze, or so help me
God, I will fucking kill you myself.”
Then I push open the door and step out onto the dirt ground. Motherfucker thinks he can just cut a baby
out of his life like that. This was Miles’ kid! But then, the rational side of my brain—which, if I’m being
honest, isn’t a very large side—knows this is Raze. He doesn’t have a fatherly bone in his body. Yes, he’s
protective of me, and possessive, and all things in-between, but even then, I’m sure even I don’t have the
emotional capability to pull out father-like feelings from him.
I slam the door and begin walking toward the main house, where Kurr used to reside, below which
the basement is, ignoring the fact this place is basically a burial ground.
“And where the fuck do you think you’re going?” Raze snaps, slamming the door behind me, gaining
the interest of a few soldiers walking past.
Flipping him off over my shoulder, I yell, “Wherever the fuck I want. Fuck you very much.”

I pull out a seat beside Raze in the big auditorium that’s beside the main house. There has to be around
fifty soldiers in here. The 6, and a few women too, but by their dress code, I’m guessing they’re cooks,
nurses, and the like. My eyes drift to the spot where Miles laid the last time I saw him, before they close,
shutting everything out. The chatting, the murmuring, it all gets silenced by my labored breathing. Every
intake of breath feels heavy, thick, and claustrophobic. A bead of sweat trickles down my temple.
“Baby?” Raze’s voice sounds off in the distance somewhere. “Pet!” he snaps at me, instantly pulling
me out of my haunted memories.
“Yeah?” I look at him without really looking at him, and when his eyes narrow, I know that fact
doesn’t go unnoticed. From what feels like day one, we’ve been able to have a complete conversation
with our eyes only. My favorite one is the eye roll, where I tell him to get fucked.
“Come here.” He takes my hand and pulls me down onto his lap.
“Raze, I feel stupid on your lap,” I manage to whisper into his ear, ignoring all the eyes that are now
watching us.
He looks at me, his eyes slanting. “Get used to it, because it’s where you fucking belong.” Then he
looks out onto the—or his—awaiting people. Anyone would think this is the last meal and he is Jesus
himself.
“So you all know why you’re here. We have issues that need to be addressed,” he begins, and I wiggle
on his lap, only for his grip to tighten around me.
Fucking hell. I look over his shoulder to see The 6 in a line at his back, all in staunch stances, the ones
they always use. They’re robotic and inhuman, and I’d be lying if I said it didn’t intrigue me. The old me
was terrified of them, but now I find them interesting.
I look toward Angel, the man who wears the white mask and who made me wear the angel wings on
the night it was his turn while I was in the dungeon. A chilling sense of uncertainty shimmies down my
spine. I’m not exactly sure what it is that scares me most about him, but I’m guessing it has something to
do with his sense of calm. The way he has such a smooth, almost demure demeanor. That’s absolutely
lethal, because he’d slit your throat with a completely stoic expression on his face. He reminds me a little
of Miles, only Miles was crazy.
Thinking of Miles, my muscles tense, so I take my eyes off the men and look out to the crowd of
people Raze is speaking to.
“So, as I said, we need to stay under the radar for a bit, at least until the heat disappears from
President La Mont’s death. We’ve found a new supplier for product.” He pauses and grins at me, his eyes
darkening. “And they begin in two weeks.”
What was that look?
He continues, “Nothing much changes around here. Only, you have more protection and I have a
stronger hold on what goes on out there.” He points out the door. “Which means you don’t need to be
scared. But, shit doesn’t change. The cause is still the same. We have a hit list. The 6 take care of it. We
go to battle? We all go, and nurses take care of the wounded.” He stops, and then looks up to me. “And let
this be a warning.” His mouth kicks up in a grin, his eyes twinkling with known mischief. Oh no. “Any
man who lays one hand on this girl here”—his knee jiggles underneath me—“will be dickless before he
can blink, and skinless before he takes his next breath.” He looks back out to the crowd. “She is mine.” I
drop my eyes down to his lips that curve into a perfect pout. I smile.
He opens his mouth, dismissing everyone, and I drop my lips to his ear. “I’m yours, huh? Better fuck
me like you mean it then.” His jaw tenses against my cheek and I smirk.
Pushing up from the chair, he picks me up and throws me over his shoulder.
“Yo! Raze?” Joker yells out, just as we reach the front doors.
“Fuck off, I’ll be back soon.” Raze kicks through the doors, and I laugh while bumping up and down
over his shoulder, ignoring all the glares the women are giving me. I scowl at them and then smirk,
realizing how bitter they’re being. I’ve come to realize a great sense of enjoyment fills me when I see
girls getting jealous. They’re the ones who think I’m better than them, not me.
“Fuck you like I mean it, huh? Think you can handle that, pet?”
He swings open the main house doors, and I laugh. “Think you can, Mr. Hot and Heavy?”
He chuckles, and I swear that sound could put the fear of God into angels. “Oh, baby, you have no
idea.”
Actually, I do. I have an idea of how twisted Raze can get, but yet, the deep, dark, and deranged side
of me wants to poke the big, scary monster. He continues to walk toward a door, and it’s not until the
familiar flicker of the candles hanging on the cold concrete walls catches my attention that I understand
where he’s taking me.
“You motherfucker,” I whisper.
“What?” He grins, hiking me up farther on his shoulder while taking the first step down. “Don’t like
the dungeon, baby? Thought you wanted to play.”
Once we reach the bottom of the stairs, he slams open a cell door, dropping me to the ground, where I
fall with a thud. Grinning, I lean back on my elbows, the dirt pressing into my skin. Raze grabs his shirt by
the back of his collar and rips it off, displaying his magnificent body to me in all its raw beauty. I lick my
bottom lip, sucking it into my mouth and tilting my head.
“Looking at me like that will get you fucked so hard you’d want to piss out your mouth from being so
sore, pet.” My mouth slams shut but legs open slightly. Raze yanks off his belt, his pants now falling lazily
off his hips, his cock the only thing keeping them up.
“Stand.” I push up off the ground, following his demanding order. “Turn around.”
My eyes flick to the belt that’s wrapped around his hands before I look back into his eyes. “What are
you doing?”
A sly grin tips the corners of his mouth. He steps toward me. “Whatever…” I step backwards. “The
fuck…” My ass hits the cold metal bars of the cell. His lips skim over my ear, before he growls, “I want.”
He circles my ear with his tongue before dragging it down to my jaw and all the way to my lip. Running
his slick tongue over the rim of my bottom lip, he steps back slightly, bringing the belt up to my neck. He
wraps it around the bars before locking it tightly, so my neck is joined to the bar.
“Raze?” My throat moves against the belt as I swallow.
“Shhh.” He grins. “Every time you talk?” He brings his hand up to the belt, and goose bumps ignite
over my flesh as his fingertip skims over my neck. “I’ll tighten this a notch.” He steps back, pulling his
slacks down farther. “Put your hands behind your back and don’t move them.”
Swallowing past the pressure, I cross my hands behind my back, clenching them together. Am I
scared? Hell yes, I am. Excitement bubbles to the surface, though, only enhancing my fear. He steps
forward, tilting his head, and examines me inch by inch. I can almost feel the heat coming off the raw
hunger in his eyes. The predator in him pacing back and forth, wanting, panting, craving to be unleashed.
He grabs the thick bulge molding his boxer briefs and watches me, heat crawling up my face and
exploding throughout my body. Slowly, he reaches inside and licks his lips before pulling himself out,
letting his heavy cock sit in the palm of his hand. My eyes zone in on him as he works himself slowly,
pumping back and forth. “You want this,” he confirms with a lazy growl, his eyes hooded.
I lick my lips. “You know I do.”
“Did I say you could talk?” He lets go of himself and walks back to me until his chest brushes over
my hard nipples. He runs the tip of his nose down the bridge of mine, his lips so close I can taste his minty
breath slithering down my throat. Brushing his lips over mine casually, his eyes still searching mine, his
mouth drops to the belt that’s restrained around my neck and pulls on it with his teeth until the metal pin
loosens. He yanks his head back, and I yelp as the belt tightens around me and the metal pole. I can almost
feel my airways cutting out with each desperate intake of breath.
“Raze? Can I get a safe word or something?” My throat burns from asking.
He laughs, his eyes darkening and his lip kicking up in a smirk. “This look like a red room to you?”
He gestures around the cell with his massive arms. “Naw, pet. That ain’t how I play.”
Sucking my lip into my mouth, I can’t fight the smile that creeps onto my face. He walks back to me,
pulls my bottom lip into his mouth and bites down until I’m sure the imprint of his teeth is molded into my
flesh. Running his hands over my front, he glides down toward my pants and pops off the button, his eyes
remaining on mine.
“This is mine. Understood?” he asks, pulling my pants down slowly, his eyes glued to mine. “There is
no second-guessing. No ‘I’ll think about it.’ Fuck that. You’re mine, Millie. You have been since day one
and you know it.” I swallow nervously. “Nod,” he orders.
I comply, and then he throws my black pants to the other side of the cell, tilting his head and licking
his lips as the tip of his cock rubs against my clit. “Mine.” He tears my panties off in one movement, and
drops to his knees.
“Ra—”
His mouth cloaks my folds slowly, his tongue drawing out and licking from my entry all the way up to
my clit. “Mine,” he repeats, growling against my clit and throwing my leg over his shoulder. My eyes roll
to the back of my head as his tongue presses, laps, and explores every single inch of my swollen flesh.
“Who do you belong to, pet?” he snarls.
I mumble incoherent words, closing my eyes as my fingers dive into his hair.
The building pleasure deep in my core stops. The impending pleasure inside of me withdraws. I
scream out in frustration, “Ah! Raze! Why’d you stop?”
“Who do you belong to?” he reiterates.
“God!” I roll my eyes.
He growls. “Not fucking God, baby.”
“You!” I weep. “Fuck, I belong to you.”
His eyes narrow, my own falling to his lips, where they glisten from my arousal. Standing to his feet,
he grabs the back of my thighs and picks me up, wrapping my legs around his waist.
“Who do you belong to?” he asks once again, and just as I’m about to open my mouth, his dick slips
inside of my channel, my walls contracting around his invading thickness.
I moan, a throaty sound, my nails digging into the palms of my hands and my eyes rolling to the back of
my head. The tip of his cock smashes against my cervix and I yelp out in surprise. Overpowered by
pleasure, but fueled by pain.
“I’ll always belong to you, baby,” I coax him. “Always.”
He pulls out roughly, my legs clenching around his waist and my walls contracting around him as he
drops his mouth to the side of my neck. “Fuck yes you do.” Then he smashes into me, my back chafing
against the bars, leaving abrasions on my skin. The belt tightens around my neck. “Let go, baby.”
My core clenches, sweat trickles over my temple, and just as his fingers bite into my thighs, I explode
over him, my body jolting from my blasting orgasm. Seconds later, he lets out a defeated groan and
empties himself inside me. He stays there for a beat longer, placing little kisses on the damp flesh of my
neck.
“Mine.”
“Yes, yours. Let me down. I can’t breathe.”
“Shit,” he utters, carefully dropping me back to the ground and unhooking the belt, pulling it off. I
crack my neck and his eyes fall to where the belt was tied. “Fuck, sorry, baby.”
I chuckle. “Don’t be sorry.” I bend down and pick up my pants, pulling them on just as Raze pulls up
his, shoving my torn panties into his back pocket.
He then walks up to me, brushing his fingers over my cheeks. “Babe, you have red marks around your
neck.”
I bring my hand to his and squeeze. “I’ll be fine. You forget I like that sort of stuff?”
He laughs, taking my hand in his and unlatching the cell. “Yeah, and that’s my bad.”
WE PULL BACK UP TO the house and I turn in my seat to, again, face Raze. “This baby of Amy’s, it’s a good
thing, Raze.”
He exhales, leaning back into the headrest. “A baby is never a good thing, Millie. A baby is a fucking
burden and not something cut out for this life. Amy needs to stay the fuck away.”
I let out a frustrated scream. “Raze! It’s Miles’ baby!”
“We don’t know that, and I don’t care, Millie. End of discussion.”
Asshole.
I push my door open and storm off to the house. I can hear Raze chuckling behind me.
“Throw a tantrum, baby, and I’ll just fuck the stupid outta you.”
Flipping him off, I push the front door open just as Joker and another man walk toward me, watching
me with careful eyes. My eyes zone in on the man beside Joker, and God, he’s beautiful. Angular jaw,
bright blue eyes, dark lashes that any woman would be jealous of. He’s pretty, absolutely beautiful. His
body is lean and strong, not big and overbearing like Raze’s. Yet, he has a soft gracefulness to him—that
is, until he smiles. My shoulders straighten at how quickly the air shifts once he smiles. Sheesh, it sends
chills down my spine.
“Mmmm, my favorite fallen nun.” I instantly recognize his voice.
“Angel?” I tilt my head then grin. “Really? Why am I not surprised?”
He laughs, shoving his hands into his pockets and looking over my shoulder briefly. “Yeah, I guess
you shouldn’t be.”
“So that’s three masks down, three to go. I’m excited! It’s like opening presents. You don’t know what
you’re going to find.”
“Easy,” Raze growls, slamming the front door behind him. “What? You fuckers can’t stay in your
rooms?”
“What?” I spin around to face Raze. “They live here?”
“Just these two, yes.”
My eyes slant on him and his eyebrow quirks up in challenge.
Folding my arms in the front of myself, I ask, “I have to live with Joker?”
“Yes, pet.”
“Fuck.” I turn back around to find Joker grinning at me. “Wipe that smile off your face, dick. I could
make this pretty unpleasant for you.”
“Likewise, nun.”
Opening the fridge in search of something to cook for dinner, the doorbell rings. “Joker!” I yell out,
pulling the big roasted chicken out of the clear wrapping. The bell rings again and I roll my eyes, cussing
under my breath, “Useless piece of shit.” I’m not that hot on Joker, and I can’t pinpoint exactly why. He
annoys me for some reason. He has one of those faces you just want to punch.
Pulling the front door open, I tilt my head. “Doc?”
She smiles. “Hey, Millie, were you expecting me? Did Raze tell you I was coming?”
I pause, stepping aside to let her in. “No, he didn’t. Come in.”
She walks inside the foyer. “I’ve come to give you a quick check-up. Where do you want to do this?”
I point at the sitting room. “In there will be fine. Sorry it took me so long to answer the door. You
would think with all of Raze’s merry men, someone would hear the doorbell.”
She laughs, taking a seat on the sofa. “It is rather quiet around here.”
I smile sadly. “Miles left a huge gap.”
Her eyes turn somber and I flash my fake smile again. “Do you want something to drink?”
“I’m okay, thank you.”
I take a seat on the sofa opposite her. “What do you need?”
She begins pulling out the equipment she requires from her black satchel. “This won’t take long. It’s
just a routine check, because you were out for so long. Do you remember much?” she asks, grabbing her
stethoscope and placing them into her ears.
“Remember?” I blink.
“From before you were injured.” She warms up the padded side between her palms.
“Oh,” I say, pulling my legs under myself. “No, not really. I just remember Miles, the bodies, and then
it’s all black. The finer details, I don’t remember clearly. Some days they’re more vivid than others, but
overall, I don’t remember much.”
I warmed up to Bella right away when she gave me my depo shot before all this went down.
Something about the way she carries herself and how she fluidly articulates, makes me comfortable
enough to open up to her. It’s probably one of the many reasons she’s a great doctor.
“Okay.” She leans forward, placing it over my chest. “What about headaches?” she questions,
listening to my heartbeat. I shake my head. She nods, pulling the stethoscope out of her ears and placing it
on her lap.
“I think you’re okay. I still don’t understand why you were out for so long, but it must have been your
body’s way of healing, or maybe shutting down.” She smiles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. I know what
she means; she’s referring to Miles.
I shrug. “I’m not sure either.”
She leans back in her chair. “Do you remember much while you were out?”
I mull over her question. “What, like dreaming?”
She nods. “Studies show that people who are in comas show no wakefulness, so they don’t dream.
They show no signs of acknowledging touch, sounds, or pain.” She pauses, watching me closely. “But
other studies say they do, suggesting that events or pain in their life have caused them to withdraw or be
largely incapable of interacting, so they remain inside their dream limbo, I guess you could say.”
I shake my head. “I don’t remember anything, so if I did dream, I couldn’t tell you.”
She smiles, standing from the chair and fishing out her card. “My number is still the same,” she says,
handing it to me. “But just in case you lost it, I’ll give it to you again.” She picks up her bag and I smile at
her. “You need anything,” she tells me, her eyes boring into mine, “I’m only a call away. Even if it’s just
to talk.”
I appreciate the gesture, and I like Bella, but I don’t know her well enough to call her for sleepovers.
“Thank you, I will,” I reply.
I’m getting terribly comfortable with lying.

After letting Bella out, I walk back into the kitchen and start working on dinner again. Placing the
chicken on a wire tray, I turn the oven on low and slide the tray in. Pulling out all the vegetables, I get lost
in chopping, peeling, and dicing all the things I’ll need. I don’t know who all lives here or who I’ll be
cooking for, but I know I’ll need to cook enough to feed a small army. I chuckle to myself at that reference.
After prepping everything, I place it all into pots and make my way upstairs. I’m closing Raze’s
bedroom door and walking up the second smaller flight of steps that lead to his bedroom, when I hear my
phone ringing. Raze had placed it on the charger, and I forgot all about it. Taking the stairs two at a time, I
dash for the phone, sprawling across the bed, and answer it breathlessly. “Hello?”
“Hey!” Melissa’s voice beams down the line.
“Oh, hey! What’s up?”
“Meadow had the baby!”
“Oh my gosh!” I roll onto my back. Is this what she’s calling me for? I ran my ass up there for that?
She couldn’t have waited to tell me? I scold myself before continuing with the conversation. “How was
the birth?”
“It was hard. I don’t know about you, but two days in labor doesn’t sound like a good time to me.”
I shiver. “No, nope, fuck that.” Poor Meadow.
“I’m still getting used to you swearing,” she laughs. “Anyway, do you want to come? Beast is letting
us see her now.”
I pause and think about where Raze is. I haven’t seen him in a couple hours, but it’s not like he needs
to know where I am all the time. “Yeah!” I decide impulsively. “I’ll be there soon. What hospital?”
“Summerlin. See you in a little bit.”
I hang up the phone and scroll through my contacts until I find Raze’s number, and then hit dial.
He picks up on the third ring. “Hey, baby.”
I melt. Stupid. I shouldn’t melt, but I can’t help it. Raze is a potion concocted perfectly for my twisted
self. “Hi,” I answer dimly. “Where are you?”
“I’ll tell you about it later.”
“What happened to not sharing with someone, unless she was your wife?”
He laughs. “Guess I don’t give a fuck when it comes to you.”
Ever the charming gentleman.
“Meadow had the baby! Congrats, uncle.”
Silence. Then finally, “Oh yeah? And?”
Asshole.
“And? And I’m going down to see them.”
“Angel or Joker can go with you.”
“I don’t know where they are.” I stand from the bed and walk into the closet, pulling down a pair of
skinny jeans and a loose top. “And anyway, I don’t want to take them.”
His voice drops to dark depths. “Millie… don’t test me when it comes to your fucking safety.”
I roll my eyes, because one, I know he can’t see me, and two, I know he can’t see me. “I’ll take one of
your cars. I’ll be fine. Everyone in fucking Nevada knows those are your cars, Raze, and I’m pretty sure
they know I’m with you.”
 “Exactly why you need someone the fuck with you.”
“Shit!” I whisper, slipping on my top. “Where’d you say you are again?”
“Henderson.”
“Oh, good. So I have enough time to bolt.”
“Millie, I fucking—”
I hang up my phone with a chuckle, shove it into my back pocket, and slip on my Keds before running
down the stairs double time. I zip past all the bedrooms and fly down the next flight of stairs, which lead
to the foyer, before snatching the keys to the Ferrari and jetting out the front door.
Shit! I backpedal, remembering about the dinner I just put on, and turn the chicken down, flick the pots
off, and then fly out the front door again, and heading straight for the car.
“Millie!” Joker yells at the top of his lungs from his window. His toned chest glistens in the sun, and
he’s clutching a towel around his ripped waistline. My heart rate spikes in my chest and I let out an
excited squeal before ripping open the driver’s door to the car, pushing the button, and firing her to life.
Slamming it into first gear, I snake-skid out of the driveway. There, that’ll teach him for not answering the
fucking door when Bella came. Prick.
Pulling up to the hospital, I see Frost standing outside with Hannibal and their new prospect. I grin at
them, and Frost cups his hand up to his forehead, shading the sun from his eyes and flashing me a smirk. I
park the car and jump out, making my way toward them.
“Hey!” I step up onto the sidewalk.
“Hey, you.” Frost grins, pulling me under his arm. “You know,” he growls deeply into my ear, his nose
ring gliding across my lobe. “Technically, you’re still my old lady.”
I roll my eyes and shove his chest playfully. “That shit ended. Where is Ella?”
Frost grunts. “She’s going to college or some shit.”
“What? She’s not at the clubhouse anymore?”
“Oh no.” Hannibal laughs, placing a cigarette into his mouth. “She’s still there, but she’s starting
college in a few months. Reckons she’s going to be staying at a sorority house.” He looks to Frost with a
sly smile. “I reckon not.”
I laugh. “Leave the poor girl alone. But I wonder why she hasn’t come back to Raze’s.”
Frost clears his throat. “Yeah, I think she wants to break away from being locked up most of her life.”
Chuckling, my hand goes to the door. “What, like being around you lot is any better?”
Frost slaps my ass loudly, setting off a sting. “Now you know damn well I would’ve torn that ass up
had you given me the chance.”
I smirk, walking backward into the building while keeping my eyes locked on his. “Naw, baby, you
couldn’t handle this ass anymore.”
His shoulders square and his eyes narrow in challenge. Fucking crazy in all its form.
I quickly rectify, “I was joking, Frost. Keep your hands to yourself!” Then I turn and walk toward the
reception area.
“Hi, I’m here to see Meadow. Sorry, this is going to sound really stupid, but I don’t know her married
last name.”
The receptionist taps on her keyboard before looking back up to me. “The small pretty girl who just
had a baby, and the pack of bikers with her?”
I smile. “That’s her.”
She directs me to the birthing unit and I thank her before making my way down the halls, ignoring the
vibrating of my phone in my back pocket. Do I feel like an ass for doing this to Raze? No. But will my ass
be in a lot of trouble with him when I get home? Yes.
Will I enjoy it? Also yes.
Finding the door that has Meadow’s name on it, I knock lightly, and Beast pulls it open.
 “Hey,” he says, stepping to the side. He looks tired; anyone would think he was the one who just
pushed a baby out.
“Hey.” I smile, walking in. My eyes find Meadow’s right away, with Melissa sitting beside her and
Phoebe on the opposite side. Phoebe and Melissa have been best friends for as long as I can remember.
The two of them together used to be trouble, to say the least.
“Hey!” Phoebe says excitedly, standing from her chair and walking to me. She pulls me in for a hug,
and I relax in her arms. “How have things been?”
“Great,” she replies, her eyes going wide. “Actually, that’s a lie. Life is pretty fucking hardcore.”
I turn to face Meadow and walk in her direction. “Congratulations, Mama!”
Her peachy cheeks are glowing and her porcelain skin is as flawless as ever. She has a twisted bun on
the top of her head. “Motherhood agrees with you.”
She smiles. “Thanks, Millie.” She hands me the cute little bundle, and I take her, cradling her in my
arms.
“Wow,” I whisper. “She’s beautiful.”
“Her name’s Ivy,” she replies, her eyes remaining on the baby. I could see how much she wanted to
have her baby back, and I can’t say I blame her, so I slowly give Ivy to her.
Taking a seat beside Meadow, Melissa looks at me with a grin. “What, Melissa? Spit it out.”
Meadow laughs, and Phoebe watches me with careful and quiet eyes.
“Oh, nothing. How’s it been, being the queen of the underworld?” she asks, an eyebrow quirked.
Rolling my eyes, I lean back into my chair. “I had to steal Raze’s four-hundred-thousand-dollar car to
come here, I’ll have you know.”
They all laugh.
“Why would you have to steal it?” Melissa asks, her eyes twinkling in mischief and begging for
drama.
“Because he wanted me to bring one of his merry men and I didn’t want to.” I exhale. “And anyway, I
knew he was in Henderson, so there’s no way he could catch me this fast.” I smirk at the end of my
sentence.
Meadow’s eyes go over my shoulder. “Mmm, I wouldn’t be so quick to say that.”
I turn around to find Beast standing near the door with a devious smile on his face. “Millie?”
“Hmmm?” I feign innocence.
“You’re wanted outside.”
“Fuck.” My shoulders slump.
The girls laugh as I stand from my seat and stalk out the door, swinging it wide. I turn to face the entry
to the hallway and find Joker standing there with a grin on his smug face.
“What? You seriously think you can pull that shit on a man who owns half this damn country?” He
walks closer to me. “Come on, baby girl. You’re gonna need to try a little harder than that.”
I place my hands on my hips, my eyes narrowing. “Fine. Wait here. I won’t be long.” I walk back into
Meadow’s room, muttering profanities. The girls all quiet at my entrance.
“Oh, by all means.” I smirk. “Don’t stop on my account.”
“We weren’t saying anything, sis. Calm down. But the boys are having a meeting tomorrow night at the
clubhouse. I take it you’ll be coming with your sexy man?”
“I guess so.” I walk up to Meadow and lean down, placing a soft peck on her forehead before kissing
Ivy’s cheek.
“She’s precious, Meadow. Congratulations again.” I stand straight. “I need to go, because apparently I
can’t go anywhere without people knowing where I am.” They laugh again. “I’ll see you all tomorrow
night.” Walking past Beast, I tap his arm. “Congrats, Dad!” He smiles a full, beaming grin and it suits him.
He should smile like that more often. I lower my voice. “How’s Ella?”
 His smile turns soft. “She’s good.”
I nod, glad she has one attentive brother at least. “I guess I’ll see her tomorrow night.” Beast bows
out, and I walk past him and back toward Joker.
Joker chuckles when I ignore him, walking straight past. “Oh, come on,” he laughs, chasing me until
he falls into step beside me. “I’m not that bad.”
I scoff. “Maybe it’s not that you’re bad,” I say, throwing him a side grin. “Maybe it’s that you’re not
bad enough.”
His mouth falls open, and I push out the front doors, waving to Frost and the guys before making my
way back to the car.
“Well, shit!” Joker yells out behind me. “Baby, if you wanna dance, we can dance.” I flip him off over
my shoulder and climb into the driver’s seat. I didn’t mean he’s not bad. It’s that he’s… well, he’s Joker.
“You coming or what?” I ask, cranking my window down. He smiles and runs over to the passenger
seat before I put it into first gear and pull away.
“Why do you hate me? I wasn’t the only one who tormented you in the dungeon, yet you manage to at
least crack a smile at Angel.”
I peek at him out of the corner of my eye to find him serious. I sigh, pulling over to the side of the
road.
“What’re you doing?” he asks, looking at all the cars passing us.
I put my indicator on and wait for a free space before hooking the car around. “I need nuggets for this
conversation.”

Pulling into McDonald’s, I quickly go through the drive thru. Once we hit the highway again, Joker
digs into the bag of chicken, and I whack him across the arm. “Hey! I know you’re not a gentleman, but
dammit, these are my nuggets, and I will cut you if you eat one before me.”
He laughs, tossing the bag at me. “I’ve heard stories about these nuggets and you.”
“Yes,” I hiss. “And those rumors are not false. Don’t fuck with me, mask boy. I will end you.”
He chuckles again as I rummage through the bag while keeping my eyes locked on the road ahead of
me. “So spill,” he says. “Tell me why you hate me so much.”
I take a bite. “Tell me why you care.”
“I don’t,” Joker begins. “But you’re Raze’s woman, and I kinda don’t want to be on the shit list of his
queen, if you feel me.”
“I don’t hate you.” I veer the car into the private driveway of Raze’s house. I’m still not sure whether
I’m completely comfortable with calling it my house too yet.
Pulling up the emergency brake, I turn toward Joker. “I’m not exactly happy about your existence
either.” I exhale. “But it’s not you, it’s me. My life hasn’t just done a one-eighty. It’s damn well done a
kick-flip ollie.”
I reach for the door handle and his hand stops me. “You’re not bullshitting?”
“I’m not.” I search his eyes. “It’s not you.”
He seems to believe me somewhat, enough for him to release my arm. “Okay.”

Walking into the house, I shut the door behind myself as Joker goes straight to his room, and place the
keys on the console table. Raze comes walking down the stairs, his eyebrows raised and his chest bare.
Every muscle tenses as he takes a step. I run my eyes down his tattooed form, pausing at where his V dips
underneath his loose, ripped jeans. His button is undone and my mouth waters.
Skimming my tongue over my bottom lip, I grin. “Is this the part where I apologize?” My leer deepens.
“Because I’m not feeling very apologetic.”
Raze looks to the side, a sadistic smirk inching onto his face, and a deep chuckle vibrates from his
chest before he looks back to me. He steps closer. “Oh, you will.”
I step backward and shake my head. “I don’t think so.”
He matches my movements, stepping forward again. I retreat until my back collides with the front
door. Slowly, I start to shift sideways as adrenaline begins to bubble under my skin. In a flash, both his
hands come flying up to the sides of my head, caging me in. I squeal out loud, my heart pounding against
my chest. He tilts his head as his eyes run over my face, studying every single inch of my skin before
dropping lower, licking his gaze over my body.
“What?” I ask breathlessly. “What are you waiting for?”
He smirks again, his eyes running back up my body until they lock onto mine, and I swear to God my
legs shake, my heart quivers, and my mouth waters. “I will get that apology out of you.” Then he scoops
his arm around my legs and throws me over his shoulder. I laugh out loud as he carries me up the stairs,
landing a loud slap on my ass. “You and your bad girl fucking ways, Millie. If you carry on with this shit,
you’re going to live the rest of your life with a very sore fucking ass.”
“But I like when you give me a sore ass.” I giggle, my head jolting as he continues to walk to his
bedroom.
“Yeah, that’s not what I meant.”
I pause. “What did you mean?”
“Oh… I think you know.” He opens the door, walks in, and slams it closed before walking up the
stairs and to his bed. Throwing me onto the mattress, his tongue darts out and slides across his bottom lip.
“Clothes off.” I hesitate. “Now.”
Yanking off my top, I stand on the bed and watch as he backs up, tilting his head and watching me. I
flick open the button of my jeans and shimmy them down my legs. His eyes darken as he drinks me in, and
I him. He looks as delicious as always. Raking my hair away from my face, I smirk before bringing my
hand up to the back of my bra, sliding it off. Keeping his eyes on mine, his hand finds the drawer I’m so
familiar with, and the creaking of it opening breaks the intimate silence. Oh crap.
“RAZE, IS THAT SMART? WE have men sitting on the Westbound pipeline, waiting for the opportunity. We
may as well use them to our advantage, and I mean no disrespect.”
My jaw clenches as I run my hand up Millie’s thigh. She tries to clench her legs closed, but when I
squeeze her, she relaxes, leaning on my chair. “Who do you think they’ll be expecting to take them down?”
I ask, my palm inching higher up Millie’s skirt.
“Right, but I still think we could use them.”
I look around at everyone else that is seated in the boardroom of the base. “Anyone else share his
views?”
They all shake their head.
I look to Millie, and she’s smirking at me under hooded eyes. That look has a direct line to my cock.
“Come here.”
She looks down at my lap and then out to everyone sitting around the table. Millie is beside me at
every meeting I have now. It saves me from having to relay everything back to her when I get home, and
she wants this, to keep her busy after Miles.
“What, are you serious?” Her eyes widen. “You want me to sit on your lap like a good little puppy?”
Her smirk deepens and her head cocks.
“Yeah, babe. Dead serious. So next time you think about flashing that psycho little grin my way, might
wanna think twice about whether or not you’d be comfortable with me shoving my cock down your throat
right then and there.”
“Raze!” she snaps at me. “If you haven’t noticed, we’re in the middle of a very large and serious
meeting.”
“Don’t give a fuck where we are or who we’re with.” I pause, the corners of my mouth kicking up in a
grin. “But you already know that, don’t you, baby?”
She sucks in a breath. “Smooth,” she says, planting her little ass on my lap. Where it belongs. “Real
smooth.”
I lean to the side, keeping my other hand possessively around her back. “So, as I was saying, they will
be expecting shit to go flying from the West. They know we have them in our pocket. I won’t be
overlooked. We go this route, and we do it tonight.”
Benny tilts his head at me. He is one of the heads of the IRA. He’s not stupid, but he’s old, so he
always has his nephew BJ hanging off his right hand. I know he’s grooming BJ to take his spot when he
decides to kick it, but I’m not sure I’d be too keen on working with the younger man. The little shit has no
respect and a loose mouth. Two things I hate more than anything. So I hope, for Benny’s sake, he decides
to live a little longer.
“You got this on lock?” Benny asks me, clipping his cigar.
“I do.”
He pauses for a brief second before nodding. “I trust you know what you’re doing, Raze.”
He better. The Columbus Cowboys are the last of who Kurr dealt through. He had a tight relationship
with them, and word down the line is that they’re seeking revenge on none other than yours truly. They’ll
be real fucking disappointed when they find out I got to them first.
“Anything else?” Killshot asks, his knee jiggling under the table. Killshot is the nephew of the Russian
mafia. He gets sent in for the smaller gatherings, and there’s a reason why. Kazimir Lyov, the Russian
mafia boss, is Killshot’s uncle. Kazimir has beef with a lot of people, so he keeps his meetings to a
minimum. Since kidnapping and damn near raping his son, Ade’s—who is in some fucking biker group in
Westbeach—old lady, he’s had a hit on his head. So he gets his nephew, Killshot, to attend the ones he
doesn’t need to be present at.
Shaking my head, I clench my fist. “That’s all.” Millie places her hand over my fist and I release it
gently. I don’t know how she manages to do it, and as cheesy as it sounds, she calms my storm every time.
But I’m still not convinced it’s love. It could just be an obsession I have with her.
Taking her hand in mine, I pull her to her feet and turn to face The 6, who are standing proudly behind
me. “You good to go? I’ve got to visit The Devil’s Own tonight, but after that, we’re good to ride out.”
They all nod, and Millie squeezes my hand. I look down at her. “What?”
“What do you mean you’re going after that?”
“I mean, I’ll stay for a couple hours, but then I have to go and handle this. All this bullshit Kurr left
behind, I have to clean up. It’s part of the package. Not that I wanted the fucking package, but it is what it
is.”
“Huh,” Millie whispers, and Joker chuckles under his breath. “It is what it is. Never understood that
phrase.”
“Baby, spit it out.”
“My ass still hurts from last night, so I really don’t want to fight you on this, but am I coming?”

“Definitely fucking not.” He doesn’t smirk, doesn’t scoff, his face remaining stoic and calm. Every muscle
in his body goes rigid. Raze is always on high alert, a second away from and ready to commit murder.
“So I’m staying at the clubhouse after you leave?”
His reply is instant. “No.” He then pulls me forward until we’re walking to the front door. I step out
into the afternoon sun and my eyes scrunch from its assault.
“Well, what then?”
“I’ll take you home and you will keep your ass there.”
“Fine!” I stomp to his car and pull open the passenger door, ignoring the laughter coming from the
army of six behind him. Clipping in my seatbelt, I watched as Raze turns his now frustrated gaze back
around to speak with The 6 briefly before he walks to the car and slips into the driver’s seat.
 This should be fun.
Yanking his seatbelt on, he roars the ridiculously expensive car to life. “Is it so fucking hard for you to
do as you’re fucking told?”
“Yes.”
“Jesus,” he utters under his breath, pulling out of the base. “I created this.”
Truth.

Sliding on a peach-colored tight tank, I button up my white skinny jeans and throw on a loose, knitted
sweater before plaiting my hair into a fishtail braid that drops over my shoulder. Casual. I want casual if
I’m going to the clubhouse. I know this meeting tonight is to talk about Shelby and her whereabouts, but
from what I’ve heard, no one knows where she is. I’m almost one hundred percent certain that if Raze
really wanted to find her, he’d be able to. I just need to figure out why he’s stalling. After brushing on
some makeup and spritzing on some perfume, I slip my phone into my back pocket and make my way
downstairs to wait for Raze. Walking into the foyer, I hear him on his phone.
“Yeah,” he says. “No, not yet. Because I fucking said.”
There’s a pause, and I pull in a slow breath, scared he might be able to hear me breathing.
“She doesn’t. She won’t. Because I fucking said,” he repeats.
Rolling my eyes at his bossiness, I lean against the wall and wait for him. Turning around, his eyes
find mine instantly and I scan him up and down. He’s wearing his suit’s pants, with the collar of his shirt
popped open, revealing his tattoos, and his tie is loose. His hair has grown out a bit, but it’s still shaved
on the sides, close to the scalp. It’s not bald-close, but still short enough that you can see the intricate
tattoos woven into his head.
“I’ll call you later.” He hangs up his phone and shoves it into his pocket. Ripping off his tie, he
casually throws on a suit jacket and walks toward me. “Ready?”
I nod. “Ready.” We reach his Rolls Royce, and I pull open the passenger side door just as Joker walks
out with Viking and Angel.
“Yo!” Joker yells. “We’ll wait for you on call.”
Raze nods before sliding into the driver’s seat. I turn around to face Joker and look at Viking. He’s
exactly how I imagined he would look like without his mask on. Long hair, which drops to his shoulders,
and a rough, long beard. He has to be somewhere in his thirties. Beards always throw me off; they could
man-up a seventeen-year-old boy. They do for men what contouring does for women. He is handsome
though, I guess, if he’s your type. I can’t say he’s mine, but I’m woman enough to admit he’s good-looking.
Looking to Angel, the boyish face I almost fear, I smile. He has such a dark place in him that I’m not
sure anyone can touch. He looks at me, and I swear his eyes, just his eyes, smile at me. How can he do
that? Keep the rest of his features stoic and frozen, while his eyes grin at me with dark malice? I don’t
know, and I’m not sure how I feel about it either. With Raze, you know where you stand. You know flat out
that he doesn’t give a flying horse shit about who you are, what you are, or where you came from. He is
God, and judgment day is every day in the book of the Executioner. But Angel? I’m not sure. It’s
unsettling, but after putting up with Raze and all his demonic tendencies, nothing really surprises me
anymore.
“Hey!” Raze growls, cranking down the passenger window. “Get the fuck in this car now.”
Rolling my eyes, I pull open the door and scoot inside, clipping my seatbelt on and watching him
closely as he pulls out of the driveway.
“Why so moody?” I ask, as he drives onto the main road.
His hand skims up my inner thigh, his pinky grazing over my center. “I’m not. But watch where you
flash those sexy fucking eyes.”
I smile. “What? Jealous?” I’m teasing him, and I know it. Should I be teasing someone who can end
any person walking this earth and make it look like an accident? Definitely not. Can I help it? No.
“Jealous?” He laughs, a psycho hitch to his chuckle. “Why would I be jealous?”
Pulling down the road to the clubhouse, we remain silent. What did he mean by why would he be
jealous? I hoped he’d be a little something. After everything we had been through, do I know how Raze
feels about me? The God honest truth to that is no. I don’t. I know that as much as someone like Raze can
care, he does. But I’m not disillusioned with the idea that someone like him could love. I had thought he
loved Miles, but now I don’t think he actually did. You can’t reject a kid so brutally like Raze has done to
Miles’ if he loved him. It isn’t possible.
“I don’t know.” My anger simmers under the surface.
He pulls up the emergency brake, and just as I reach for the door handle, his hand comes to my arm.
“Hey!” I pause at his touch. “What’s wrong?” he asks.
I sigh. “Nothing. Let’s just get this night over with.”
He lets me go, but something in his eyes says this conversation is far from over.
Walking into the clubhouse, Raze takes my hand possessively and leads me toward the bar, where
Melissa, Ella, and Jada are sitting.
“Hey, girls!” I say to all of them, and Ella looks up to Raze, jumps off her stool, and squeezes him into
a hug. I feel Raze go rigid and then relax. Letting go of his hand, I take a seat beside Melissa, and behind
the bar, Old Fella—that’s his actual name—pours me a drink.
“Tequila, baby girl?” he asks in his aged and croaky voice.
“Sure, why not?” I smile at him, and then look back to the girls. “What?” I ask, once I realize they’re
all staring at me like a deer caught in headlights.
“We hitting it hard tonight?” Melissa asks, with her eyebrow quirked.
Raze steps up to me, gripping around my knees, causing an electrical current to rip through me.
Spreading my legs open, he steps in-between them, and I can hear the girls chuckle in the background.
“Babe?” He tilts his head, his eyes licking all over my face. “Don’t get too smashed. I got shit to do
later, and I don’t want to be peeling you off the floor.”
I wave my hand around, brushing him off, but he catches it right away. “I mean it, Millie.” Squeeze.
“Fine. I won’t have too many.”
He releases my wrist, presses a kiss to my forehead, and then leaves, walking toward where Beast
holds what they call “church.” It’s basically where they conduct all their business meetings, and Melissa
once told me that it’s rare any woman is allowed inside.
“So…?” Ella probes, taking a seat on the other side of me. I haven’t seen Ella since our little swap.
“Things are looking pretty serious between you and my brother.”
“You could say that.” I pick up my drink and toss the liquid down my throat until it’s floating in a
burning pool deep in my belly.
“How are you holding up?” she asks, taking a sip of her own drink. A cosmo, I think. Who drinks
cosmos in a biker bar/compound? Ella, obviously. “I mean,” she begins, her eyes diverting, “I know you
and Miles were close and all that, so how are you holding up?” I didn’t want to talk about Miles, so I
opted for changing the subject.
“What’s yours and Raze’s last name?” I’ve been thinking about it for a while now.
She searches my eyes, well aware of how fast I flipped that around, before exhaling a deep breath.
“McKenna. Raze Myers McKenna.” She grins, her smile softening and her eyes glistening.
 Huh, that’s not too bad. Though I do want to ask about the Myers name.
She continues, “I’m still a McKenna. I refused to part with my last name when Raze faked my death.”
She watches me closely.
“But isn’t that Kurr’s last name? I’d run from that surname.”
She nods, taking another sip. “It is. But that’s not why. It’s because of what it represented. It was
family. Raze may be heartless and the most feared man in the United States of America, but he’s still my
brother, and he’s only ever protected me.”
I smile, trying to understand where she’s coming from, but I don’t. Family means blood, not last
names.
Melissa shoves me with her arm. “How’re things going over there?”
I swallow my shot. “They’re fine.” Looking up to the Old Fella, I smile. “Another?”
He grins. “Sure thing, baby doll.”
“How’s Meadow?” I ask, shooting it down and asking for another. I know I should slow down, but it
feels too good. I’m at that point where it all feels fuzzy, and I just want this feeling to never stop. Which
will result in me being shitfaced, but it’s working right now, taking my mind off a certain man who wore
an immaculate suit and peered through strong brown eyes.
“She’s good. She and the baby come home tomorrow,” Jada says, looking to me from Melissa’s side.
I smile at Jada. “And how’s the big boy?”
She laughs, shaking her head. “Garret is…. well, Garret.”
Garret is Jada’s son. She’s a single mom who lives on the property in a house not far from Hella and
Melissa. She owns a fancy tattoo parlor in downtown Vegas and has an interesting past—one she’s still
running from.
After my… I forget how many shots, I stand from my seat, the floor becoming fuzzy and my head going
dizzy. “Wow.” Gripping onto the bar, I steady myself, and Melissa and Ella both laugh, gripping onto my
arms to anchor me. “Thanks.”
Ella smiles at me before her eyes go over my shoulder and her jaw stiffens. Turning around to see
what caused her hackles to shoot up, my eyes land on a smug Frost. I roll my eyes.
“Well, well, well, if it isn’t my old lady.” He grins, his eyes remaining on Ella but his hand going out
to me.
Oh, I see what’s going on here.
I scowl at him, flicking his hand away with my fingers. “Frost, don’t use me as a tool.”
His smile drops, his hand shoving into his pocket. “You hurt me.” His other hand rubs over his chest
in mock hurt, and I roll my eyes again.
I can see Ella’s head tipping back in my peripheral vision as she downs her next drink, and Frost
sadistically grins, eyes locked on her. Taking a seat back on my stool and ignoring Frost, I turn to Ella.
“You and Frost?”
Coughing, her hand comes up to her mouth to cover her choking. “What? No. I believe in love, Millie,
not…” Her eyes dart to Frost before coming back to mine. “False hope.”
I pat her hand. “Frost is many things, but I wouldn’t put the L-word near his name.”
“Surprise, surprise.” She scoffs. “Why are all the men we know so fucked up?”
I exhale. “No one will ever know.”
BEAST KICKS OFF. “SO, WHAT we know is Shelby has run off. We don’t know who with, but we will.” He
pauses, leaning back into one of the old office chairs they have surrounding the table. Beast continues,
“We close down this pipeline, the final pipeline that holds a rope of loyalty to Kurr, and then we can start
actively searching for Shelby.”
Hella growls from the right side at the table. Beast looks to him with his eyebrow raised, and I smirk
from beneath my finger, which is running across my upper lip. Beast may be my brother by blood, but I’m
well aware of how close he and Hella are. It’s amusing to watch their brotherly banter. It’s similar to
what I had with Miles.
“Got something to say?” I quip to Hella.
He looks toward me, a slight challenge in his eyes. “Yeah, I fucking do. She led my girl, and yours, as
of recently, to you fuckers. Which, by the way, why are you here?” He looks to Beast. “Why is he here?”
I chuckle, unfazed, and look to Beast. “Yeah, brother, care to explain why the fuck I’m here?” I know
why. Beast wants backup on taking down this pipeline, which I’ll be happy to give him, because one, I
need those fuckers gone, and two, I haven’t felt death in a while and I sort of miss it.
Beast growls at Hella, “Because I fucking said, and last I checked, I’m the one who holds this gavel.”
He looks toward me, and I remain slouched in my chair, trying to stifle a laugh. Beast notices my
amusement and his eyes narrow.
“Oh, calm down.” I grin. “You want my fucking backup? Done. I want that pipeline taken down just as
much as you do, but after this, I don’t help you where Shelby is concerned, because she isn’t my
problem.” I shrug, standing from my chair. “I have enough bullshit. But if you run into anything?” I look
directly at Beast until his eyes lock onto mine. “I’ll be there.” I didn’t say that because of some brotherly
tickle I felt deep inside my chest. I said it because I can never have enough alliances; it’s just smart
business.
Beast nods, and I head toward the door, ignoring the glare I can feel coming from the Hellion himself.
Walking toward the bar, I catch Millie scowling at Frost, and Ella doing her damn best to not look at him.
Frost. Shoulda killed that fucker the first time I had my hands wrapped around his throat.
Walking toward Millie, I reach out, my arm snaking around her waist, before I dip my lips to the back
of her ear. Goose bumps shiver on her arms and I smirk. “Come on, baby. I’ve gotta head out tonight.” She
spins around, a smile on her face and that same glint in her eye I’ve become attached to. Or obsessed
with. Haven’t figured out which feeling is the most powerful.
“Hey!” Ella pokes my arm.
I nudge my head at her. “Yeah?”
“Can I stay with you tonight?” My eyes squint and I look toward Frost for a second, sizing him up. He
follows my lead, his eyes skimming over my body.
Looking back to Ella, I answer, “Yeah, but why?”
“Do I need a reason?” she asks, before picking up her purse and making her way to the doors.
“Guess not.”
Millie laughs, patting my shoulder. “Oh, baby. How clueless you can be for such a smart man.”
My head cocks back as I watch her walk her sexy ass across the floor, following Ella out.
“The fuck is that supposed to mean?” I whisper to myself, but Frost hears.
“Means me.” He drops down onto the bar stool Millie evacuated.
“What’d you do? Do I have to remind you that one of those girls is my sister and the other is, well”—I
grin, my eyes boring into his—“mine.” My eyes widen around the word to accentuate my point.
Throwing his head back in laughter, he picks up his beer from the table and grins around the rim.
Melissa rolls her eyes at me. “Relax, Raze. I know my sister. She won’t stray far from your lap.”
But she has. Twice. And continues to drive me fucking crazy.
Beast walks out from church and I turn to face him. “Can we talk?” he asks, and nudges his head
toward the way the girls went.
I nod, following his lead.
“Hella is hell-bent on finding Shelby. Are you positive you don’t know shit? ‘Cause if I find out
you’re hiding something, I’ll have no problem putting a bullet in you. Brother or not,” he says with a
relaxed grin on his mouth. Once we hit outside and the wind is the only thing separating both Beast and
me, I look in the direction of the car to see Millie and Ella laughing.
I glance back to Beast. “It ain’t my beef. Shelby? I understand her vendetta. So tell me. Why should I
help you over her?”
His eyes narrow. “What? You making this a business deal?”
“Didn’t get to where I am by dishing out favors, brother.”
He nods, but yet his eyes still hold surprise. “I can respect that.”
“So?” I question him. “Once you figure out just what you can offer me, yeah, I got some info you might
find useful on Shelby.” I walk toward my car, leaving his questions hanging in the air. Pulling open the
driver’s door, I slip inside, noting how quiet Millie and Ella are now. “Did I interrupt something?” I stare
at Ella in the rearview mirror while putting the car into first gear.
She sighs. “No. No, you didn’t.” I watch as her eyes dart out the window, a small smile coming back
onto her mouth, and I take in how her eyes are rimmed red and her cheeks are pinched pink, like she’s
been laughing for days. I should be terrified Millie has obviously stolen a side of Ella that I have never
seen, but I’m not. As much as Millie is a little mentally unstable, I know how much I mean to her and how
much humanity she has toward people. She wouldn’t hurt anyone, ever. She’s just crazy.
The ride home is silent, and I glance over at Millie, the orange hues of the streetlights lighting up her
jaw. “You okay?” I ask.
She smiles and looks at me, her hand coming to mine. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m good.”
“I need to drop you two off so I can shut down these Cowboys.” I pull away, gripping onto the
steering wheel.
“Oh, okay,” Millie says, putting her hand back onto her lap. I immediately feel like shit, because I
want her more than I’ve ever wanted anyone or anything. It’s true; I hate mercilessly, I kill expertly, and I
rule like a fucking god. Love, though? Love is something I’m not familiar with. But whatever I feel for
Millie, that shit is untouchable, and I don’t even think it’s love. I don’t think the word love could even
scratch the surface for what I feel for her.
It’s also the single most terrifying thing I’ve ever experienced, and that’s not something I’m familiar
with either. I’ve never felt fear. Ever. I’ve been on the receiving end of military weaponry, knives, and
machetes, and I’ve never felt it. I look death in the eye with a smirk every single time. Nothing created
fear until I met Millie. Is she ready for that? Fuck, I’m not even ready for that bullshit, but I’d raise
fucking hell if anyone dared touch her or disrespect her.
The way she always wants to fuck the rage out of me. Feel my soul seep out of my flesh until its
wreckage is on display. She just wasn’t expecting to lose her own as I choked her pain away.
I WALK DOWN THE HALLWAY while Ella starts making a snack downstairs. Miles’ bedroom door beams at
me, and I step away until my back hits the wall. A ball of pain forms in my throat, and before I know what
I’m doing, I’m walking toward his room, grasping the handle, and pushing it open.
Sucking in a breath, I take in how completely untouched everything is. Closing my eyes, I inhale
deeply until I can taste Miles’ sweet cologne in the back of my throat. Walking to the sound dock with the
iPod hooked up, I hit play, and Breaking Benjamin’s “Close to Heaven” begins playing. The lyrics hit me
right where all my pain is rooted. All the air feels as though it’s being tugged out of me with each strum of
the guitar.
Slowly, I tremble to the floor, my legs giving way as my knees buckle, and the first sob escapes me.
Gripping his blanket and yanking it off his bed, I wrap it around myself until I’m curled in a fetal position.
Every time a sob wracks through my body, a memory flashes before my eyes.
“I miss you, Miles.” I squeeze the blanket in my hand. “I miss how you called me puddin’, even
though it made me think I looked like the Joker.” I laugh sadly. “Actually, maybe because I did look like
the Joker. The Jared Leto version.” I sniff. “I just miss you so much.”
I can almost feel Miles’ presence all around me. I can imagine what he would say right now.
Closing my eyes, I let my tears seep into my pores and soothe me to sleep.

“Raze, she’s in here!” Ella hisses, as the bright hallway light sneaks through the opened door, splitting the
dark room.
A shadow blocks the light, and I squint my eyes. Shit, I feel asleep.
“Hey,” I say, pushing up until I’m sitting on the bright orange plush rug. Raze pauses, swallows, and
then nods to Ella, dismissing her. I go to get up, but he walks into the room, flicking the light on and
shutting the door.
 I pause. Maybe I’ve overstepped a line. Shit. Maybe he didn’t want anyone in this room. A cloud of
horror shades over me, and just as I’m about to apologize, Raze speaks.
“I haven’t been in here since….” He clears his throat and looks around the room, shaking his head.
Breaking Benjamin has long since finished, and now Stained’s “So Far Away” plays softly through the
speakers, and I want to smash it. If I didn’t know better, I’d think Miles was speaking to me from the other
side.
“Ghosts don’t exist, puddin’. The only real monsters are the ones who sneak into your room at
night and watch horror movies with you.”
“God!” I giggle awkwardly, rubbing the tears off my face angrily. I can just see his smug looking smile
and his mischievous eyes pointed right at me.
Raze turns to face me, leaning against the table that sits to the right of Miles’ bed. “What?”
Shaking my head, I let the tears drop. “Nothing, it’s just….”
“Sometimes you can hear him? Feel him?” Raze says, his face blank. Emotionless.
I whip my head up to him and smile anyway, because if he wants to act like Miles’ death doesn’t
affect him, I’ll just make sure he sees how bad it has affected me. “Yeah.”
Raze chuckles, turning around and picking up the photo frame, which is beside his bed. It’s a picture
of Miles and me. One of the nights he snuck into my room. I remember when he snapped it. His arm was
stretched up and his tongue came out of his perfect, plump lips. I was leaning my head into his chest, his
other arm around my shoulders, and I made an exaggerate duckface.
Raze’s eyes narrow, not questioning when the photo was taken, because truthfully, he knows there
were many times when it was just me and Miles. “I’d never seen Miles with anyone else the way he was
with you.”
“Really?” I question, stepping closer to Raze, and I watch how his eyes remain on the photo, studying
it like he’s preparing for the most important test in history.
“Yeah,” he says, clearing his throat. “You brought out the best in him.” He turns to face me, placing the
photo down onto the bedside table again. “You bring out the best in both of us, Millie. But it’s lethal,
because it only extends to you.”
I pick up the photo and clutch it in my hand, closing my eyes.
“What do you mean?”
“Because,” Raze whispers, “these feelings you’ve made me feel, they’re only reserved for you. I’ve
got nothing to give anyone else. I can’t be the man you probably need.” He steps toward me, his knuckles
skimming over my cheek. I lean into his touch, needing it like a junkie needs their next hit. “I’m not a man
who changes because of a girl, and trust me, if there ever was a girl who could make me change, it would
be you. But not even you can stop the tornado I have living permanently inside me.” My eyes open, finding
his staring down, drilling holes right into me. “And fuck if I don’t want that with you, baby,” he confesses,
his thumb sliding over my bottom lip.
I choke on a sob. “But?” I whimper past the ball in my throat. My chest contracts with pain and my
skin prickles with fear. Please don’t leave me.
His hand drops to the side of him in defeat. “But I can’t. If I could, I would have been able to by now.
I can’t be saved, Millie. All I know is when I look at you, when you’re with me, I’d damn well raise hell
to make sure you’re safe.” He looks from my eyes to my mouth then back to my eyes again. “I’d take out a
hundred of my own soldiers, just so you never get fucking hurt.” I draw in a breath, mesmerized by the
depth of his words.
“Raze,” I whisper, my hands coming to his face. A face that is more beautiful than any other man I
have ever seen, but it’s held together by such evil and darkness. “I don’t care.” My eyes search his and I
see it. The barrier he has held over himself, probably since he was born, I see it nudge down, but not
enough to completely let me in. Well, I’m stubborn, and I’m not a quitter. “If this is the only way I can
have you, darkness and all, I’ll turn my back on anything that resembles light just to have you.”
His eyebrows draw in. My heart pounds against my chest, and my stomach churns with emotions so
strong they could drain any sign of life from me. His hand comes up to mine and he pulls them off his face,
pressing a light peck on the palm of my hand, all while our gazes remain on each other. He drops my
hands then pulls me toward the door.
“Come on,” he says, and I clutch onto the photograph to stop it from slipping.
“Raze!” I smile, and everything slows as we hit the door. I grin, a slight chuckle escaping me. I look
over my shoulder with one last giggle, finding a sort of peace, one that I haven’t felt since before we lost
Miles. I can almost see him lying back on his bed with a cheesy grin on his face. He’d wink at me about
Raze’s usual caveman antics.
And then, just like that, he was gone and the door was shut.
“SO WHAT IS IT THEN?” I ask Ella, as she spreads cream cheese over our bagels the next morning.
“It’s… I don’t know.” She exhales. “I know I want to feel love. You know?”
No, I don’t. But I won’t tell her that. I’m interested to know how someone with a twisted upbringing
could have some distorted view of love, though. There’s something else to Ella that I have never been
able to put my finger on. Something about the way she carries herself. I’m almost certain there’s a reason
why she goes off about love, maybe to hide something else. When she’s ready, I’m sure she’ll tell me.
“Continue,” I prompt, pouring the freshly brewed coffee into my awaiting mug.
Joker walks in with his dark sweatpants on and no shirt. His hair is standing all over the place, and
it’s the first time I’ve seen him with no top on. The scar that he has on his face is matched by the many he
has carved into his chest and abs. The marbled glossy slits slash angrily over his beautifully muscled
body. I don’t want to stare, so I focus on my coffee.
Ella sighs. “Let’s just say I didn’t want it with a biker.”
Joker laughs, filling a mug. “Would you rather it be me, baby?” He winks at her, and Ella ignores him.
Huh. I get the feeling she’s used to all the testosterone. She might just be fine with Frost.
“I would rather a guy from college, you know, someone who has a future, an actual career. Not
someone who could quite possibly pull out my own demons.”
I clear my throat and take a seat beside her, not really feeling my bagel anymore. “You want the white
picket fence, huh?”
Raze walks in, loose basketball shorts on and also shirtless. Sweat trails down his finely chiseled
torso, over each muscle I have no doubt he just worked on. “Why are you talking about love, Ella? People
don’t go to college to find love,” he says, taking out his shaker and protein powder.
“That’s true.” I point toward Raze.
Ella rolls her eyes at me. “You don’t get a vote when Raze is around.”
“Hey!” I whack her arm playfully. “I’m a strong, independent woman.” I look at Raze and his
eyebrows rise, a smirk on his face. “Out here, I am. In there”—I point upstairs toward our bedroom—“I
can be anything you want me to be.”
Ella’s hand whips up to her mouth, and Raze’s drops open slightly, just as Joker starts laughing
hysterically.
“I’m not even sorry,” I mumble around my now unappealing piece of bagel.
“Okay, one!” Ella clears the air. “I’m not looking for love. Quite the opposite”—she looks to me—“if
you know what I mean.” I grin proudly at her and then look to Raze, only to find him scowling at both of
us. I think I like this new-found friendship that much more, because it winds Raze up like no other. “I’m
just saying that Frost… is not the one I need.”
I need to talk with her, because if she’s a virgin, I’m going to get her to stay away from Frost—
forever. Him and his blood fetish.
Raze steps into me as Ella slips out of the kitchen, and Raze gets a first-time look at her little shorts.
“Ella!” he yells out just as she hits the stairs.
“What?” She turns to face him. Her face is a mixture of something between a kid who got caught with
their hand in the cookie jar, and a teenager who just got caught trying to sneak out.
“The fuck are you wearing?”
I chuckle into my mug and turn back around to face Joker, who is also trying to contain his laughter.
Just then, Angel comes through the open sliding doors in the living room. He nudges his head at us,
wondering what the awkward silence is about. He pauses then looks over to Ella, drops his eyes to her
shorts, and snorts, walking toward the pantry.
“Shorts, Raze. Shorts.”
“Those aren’t shorts.”
“What?” She looks down to the tiny piece of ripped denim and pulls on it. “Millie wears this kind of
shorts too. Harass her, not me.”
“Her ass doesn’t hang out of them!” he yells, as she continues climbing the stairs.
“Well, actually”—I raise my finger—“it does. I just hide it from you until I’m out in public.” I smile
sweetly at him, and he shakes his head, looks down to his hand in a threatening gesture, and then grins at
me slyly.
I gulp. “I’m kidding.”
Angel starts spooning granola into his mouth. He’s wearing a white relaxed T-shirt and pajama
bottoms. Hot pajama bottoms. I don’t think he has any tattoos either. None at all, which is interesting.
Everything about Angel intrigues me.
“Beast is calling us out today, but I need someone to keep an eye on Millie.”
“I’ll do it!” Joker says.
Raze looks to Angel. “Then it’s you.”
“What?” Joker scoffs, and I try to butt in to remind my overly protective boyfriend why I don’t need a
babysitter.
Boyfriend? Hmm… not sure how I feel about that label. Feels a little young.
“Why?” Joker presses.
“Because you were too quick to offer.” Raze looks at Angel. “You good?”
Angel nods, spoon in the midair. “Yeah, boss. I got your queen.” He winks at me before continuing to
chow down on his breakfast. These boys need a real meal. Granola is not going to fuel their massive
bodies.
“Um, do I get a say in this?” I ask from the barstool I still haven’t moved from.
“No,” Raze snaps at me, and then his face softens a tad as he walks toward me. He takes my hand and
steps into my space, and I wrap my arms around his huge torso. “Sorry, baby, but no. You need protection,
and I only trust my boys.”
I nod, looking up at him. “Okay.” I know when to push Raze and when not to. I know that when it
comes to this side of life, I don’t want him to have to stress about my stupid safety. He has enough to deal
with without me acting like a spoiled housewife.
Raze walks off to get ready for the day, and Joker follows his lead, leaving me and Angel alone in the
kitchen.
“Sorry that you’re stuck with me,” I say with a God-honest apologetic smile.
He grins, placing his bowl into the sink and then turning back to me. “This?” He points between us.
“This, I can work with. You got anything you wanna do today?”
Shaking my head, I smile. “Nothing in particular.”
He smirks. “Wanna get into some trouble?”
I perk up. “Always!”
OVER THE LAST TWO MONTHS, since Angel and I decided to ‘get into some trouble’ and go Lamborghini
racing at one of the tracks in town, Raze and I have slipped into a comfortable routine. I go mostly
everywhere with him, and everyone who is anyone knows my place.
Angel and I have grown closer over that length of time too, because when Raze is out doing his
business, it’s Angel who has been watching over me. Not that I need watching, but apparently, Raze isn’t
keen on taking my safety lightly. Shocker. He still hasn’t warmed up to Amy being pregnant. Pregnancy
isn’t permanent, and soon enough, she’ll be having that baby. So the sooner he gets used to it, the better.
I’ve just finished my morning run, when I walk into the living room, my breath heavy—heavier than
usual—and my skin slick with wetness. I step toward the fridge, take out a bottle of water, and twist it
open just as Angel walks around the corner.
He nudges his head. “Anything planned for today?”
I shake my head. “Nothing. Raze is at the base for most of the day I think. I do need to go to the store
though.”
Angel nods. “Yeah, I’ll go get ready and then we can head out.” He heads upstairs and I slip in and out
of the shower, throwing on some casual clothes.
As I trot down the stairs two at a time, Angel is waiting at the bottom for me in jeans and a black tee.
“You ready?” he asks, swinging the keys around on his finger.
“As I’ll ever be.” I grin, walking past him and out the front door.

“So hang on,” Angel says, pulling into the local grocery store. “Are you telling me that I didn’t give
you the best orgasm you’ve ever had?”
His tone is playful, so I take it, shaking my head. “Sorry.”
“Man.” He looks down to the ground in shock before glancing back to me. “I’m honest to God hurt
about that.” He isn’t. The smile tickling the sides of his mouth proves it.
Rolling my eyes, we step out of the Range Rover and begin walking toward the supermarket. Picking
up a basket, I nudge my head at one of the flyers that’s plastered to the window. “So apparently, The Three
Gee’s are performing this weekend.” I laugh, shoving Angel with my shoulder. “Sound like something we
should go to?”
A horrified expression crosses his beautiful face. “The fuck is that?”
I smirk, looking back to the flyer. “It’s a band, silly.” My eyes drop down to the date and I narrow
them. Recognition starts to seep into my mind, causing my hand to tremble, and I look to the side, counting
the days.
“Angel?” I whisper.
“Yeah?” he answers, taking my hand and directing me inside.
“What’s the date?”
He yaps off the date and I swallow. Fear crawls up my spine.
“Millie!” Angel yells, as I dash forward and go down the aisle I’m looking for. Quickly pulling a box
off the shelf, I swiftly dive down the chocolate aisle and stack some on top of the little package.
“Jesus, Millie.” He bends over, catching his breath. “What the fuck? Do you want me dead? Is that
it?” He stands, rubbing his hands over his face. “It is, isn’t it? Shit.”
“Calm down,” I tell him. “I’m done shopping. Are you done? I want to go home.”
“You’re acting weird.” He narrows his eyes.
“Is that really out of the ordinary?” I ask.
“True.” He seems happy with my reply, so we make our way to the cashier. I look at her pleadingly,
and she looks back to me like I’m crazy, and maybe I am. No, I definitely am. Her eyes drop down to the
basket, and then she looks toward Angel and then back to me.
“Is a congratulations in order, or…?” She holds up the little box, and I close my eyes.
Bitch.
Angel sucks in a breath. “Oh, fuck.”
“FUCK!” I PACE IN FRONT of the sink as my ringtone blares in the distance. It’s not that far though. It’s only
sitting on the bathroom sink, but it sounds like it’s light-years away, because all I can hear is the thudding
of my heart.
“Millie?” Angel bangs on the door. “Open up, darlin’.”
“No,” I snap back to him, pulling the lid of the toilet seat down and plunking onto it.
“Millie? Look,” he begins, his voice vibrating against the heavy door. “I know you don’t know much
about me, but….”
For this split second, I forget about the answer on the other end of that little white stick. Raze. Oh
God. He would… oh God, what would he do if I was? He’s made it obvious where he stands. He’s made
it clear, crystal, and here’s silly old me, forgetting to get another shot.
Angel continues, “I have… I know what you’re going through. Let’s just say that.”
How could he know what I’m going through? Does he have ovaries? Does he get periods? Or—fuck
—miss them?
I pull in a deep breath, ignoring Angel’s pleas from the other side of the door, and look down at the
window on the little white stick, where my future is about to change forever.
“Fuck!”

“Raze!”
Ignore her.
“Raze, please!”
I look into the rearview mirror to see Cassia tied and bound. The black streaks seeping down her
cheeks and her pleading eyes blare at me from the back seat.
“Shut up, Cassia. The only fucking reason you’re still alive is because someone else wants you. That
works for my benefit.”
“Bro?” Royal shuffles in the passenger seat, his mask covering his face. “She’s a little fucking fragile.
Maybe we should just kill her.”
 “No.” I shake my head, steering the wheel toward the dark and gloomy gravel road that leads down to
the riverbed. “IRA want her, and she doesn’t deserve to get out as easy as a bullet.”
Royal laughs before looking back to the road. “True that, but I was thinking of something a little
more… theatrical than a bullet.”
Pulling to a halt on the skirts of the riverbed, I get out of the driver’s side and walk toward the shiny
black limo that is parked discretely to the side of the gravel cul-de-sac and under a tree. The back door
opens and Benny steps out, cigar in his mouth, his eyes gleaming with excitement.
“She here?”
I nudge my thumb toward the van. “Yeah. First of all,” I say, leaning against his limo, “drugs, I don’t
want my hand in it. At all. I don’t need it, and I can’t be fucked with it. But….”
“But?” Benny strings on, watching me with a smile. He knows I’m about to negotiate with him. After I
had a talk with Beast, we both came to an agreement that would work in both our favors.
“But Beast and I have come to a conclusion. You get Vegas, but there is a cut, and there will be an
IOU on this favor too, by the way.”
He takes a long pull of his cigar. “What kind of IOU?”
“One you will know about when I want you to know.” I place my fingers in my mouth and let out a
whistle. Royal and Viking jump out of the van, opening up the back, pulling Cassia out and leading her
toward us.
Benny opens the back door of the limo and shoves her inside. He turns to face me. “When you know
what it is you want, you have my number.” Then he slides back into the car and they pull out onto the long
gravel road.
I thought long and hard about what to do with Cassia. It would have been too easy to kill her. Would
have satisfied me greatly, but again, too easy. So I sat on it until I spoke with Beast. We both agreed that
having the IRA owe us a favor would work better for everyone, and having her useless ass cashed in for a
favor seemed to satisfy me more.

I walk up the stairs that lead to my room, and fuck if I didn’t have enough energy to pound into Millie
until next week. With my dick hard, I walk into our bedroom.
“Millie?” I call out, finding our bed still neatly made like it was this morning. I instantly know
something isn’t right. If she were here, she would already be in bed, waiting for me. Turning around, I fly
down the stairs and then walk to Angel’s room. With a heavy thud, I launch my foot through his wooden
door, smashing it against the wall. Anger pumps through me, and I find his bed neatly made, the empty
space just that—empty.
“Fuck!” I roar, and Joker slams open his door instantly, wiping the sleep from his eyes.
“The fuck?” he mutters, zoning in on where I am. “What’s going on?”
“Where the fuck”—I step up to Joker, my chest brushing against his until he steps backward and into
his room—“are Angel and Millie?”
“Shit.” He fists his hair, pulling on it roughly and taking a seat on his bed. “I don’t fucking know,
Raze. They weren’t here when I got back.” Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I dial Millie’s phone, only
for it to go to voicemail. Pressing her number again, it reaches her voicemail again.
“Just chill. They might just be out.”
“Out?” I growl at Joker. “At midnight? Out where?” I stretch my arms wide.
He curses under his breath again. I can’t simmer down the anger bubbling under my skin. Walking out
of Joker’s room, I step into Angel’s, which was Cassia’s room when she was here. Pausing in the middle
of the space, I look around his bed, seeking any clues, before walking back up to my room, with Joker
following closely behind me, shoving a shirt down over his head. Flicking the lights on, I turn my head,
noticing the bathroom light’s on. Hurrying to the bathroom, I push open the door and continue to search for
any clues on where the fuck they’ve gone. Joker has his phone in his hand and is hitting redial more times
than I can count. Walking out of the bathroom after finding nothing, I move toward the closet, opening it
wide to see everything on her side cleared out.
Confusion slams into my chest and I turn, smashing my fist into the drywall. “Fuck!”
Thinking over our last conversation, I have nothing. I don’t know why the fuck she would pack her shit
and leave, or why Angel would fucking betray me. I’m guessing he’s with her, because why else would
they both be gone and not answer their phones?
“Boss?” Joker eases, stepping toward me. “We’ll find them.”
I laugh, rubbing my forehead. “Yeah, we will.” I get to my feet and walk toward the bedside table,
finding a note folded.
I turn to Joker just as I pick up the piece of paper. “She knows too much.”
Joker walks toward me, his head cocked. “What do you mean?”
“I mean,” I utter, bringing my eyes to his, “she knows too much.”
“Oh,” Joker says, eyes drifting over my shoulder. “Oh fuck.”
Looking down at the piece of paper, I inhale sharply.

I’m sorry, Raze. Please don’t look for me.

I’ll love you forever, but I understand you. I know you’re going to come for me, and that’s
why I’m making sure you will never find me. Angel didn’t help. He’s at home with his daughter.
It’s Saturday, or did you forget? Before you start spilling blood over nothing, this is all me.
Please don’t look for me, but if you do, can you wait until after September 13th?
Always yours, Millie.

I step into the rundown apartment building and walk toward the man sitting at the reception reading his
newspaper. Without looking up at me, he murmurs through a rough voice, “Rooms are $400 a month and
rent is due on the first. Upon moving in, you need to give me the first month up front, plus a $200 deposit.”
“Uh,” I mumble, my eyes drifting to the side. “Yeah, okay.” Rummaging through my handbag, I give
him my money. He takes it, counting it quickly and then placing it into his pocket. I had thrown away my
phone and purchased a burner, saving what numbers I thought I should keep beforehand, because I need to
let Melissa know I’m not dead this time, or I don’t think she’d be able to handle it. The man finally looks
up at me from behind his glasses and from beneath his greasy dark hair. Flicking my new room key at me,
he points up the old wooden stairs. “Last room on the right.”
Taking the key, I smile. “Thanks.” I pull my suitcase along with me as I begin to slowly walk up the
steps. A fuzzy grey cat with one pearly eye and one brown sits at the top, watching as I haul ass.
“Hey,” I whisper to the cat, only for it to stare back at me. “Or not. Don’t even get a meow back?”
Knew I was a dog person for a reason.
Once I finally reach the top of the stairs, I follow directions until I get to room twelve. Pushing the key
into the slot, I jiggle open the door and step inside. The thick, musky scent of age and something dead hits
me right away, and I scrunch up my nose.
“What am I doing?”
 With my heart in tatters and my confusion deep, I step into the dark, cold room and close the door
behind me.
I HAVE $3,458.98 in cash. I managed to pull out as much money as I could from the ATM before ditching my
card. It’s been one whole week since I ran away from Raze, and so far, he hasn’t found me. Now, I just
have to make it through seven or so months, if I’m counting my dates right.
Turning on my side to face the window, trying to get used to this cardboard mattress, I watch as the
stars glitter up in the sky and wonder if Raze is okay, wherever he is. He probably already hates me, or
worse, has an army of men after me. I know this, but I can’t risk telling him that I’m pregnant. He didn’t
handle it well with Amy, and he’s already made it very clear he’s not good with babies and kids. So how
could I tell him that I’m pregnant with his?
I love Raze, and I know he absolutely would’ve done anything for me, just anything that didn’t involve
me having his child. It’s not that I don’t trust him, or think he would’ve killed me and the baby.
Actually, no, that’s a lie. I did think this, and it’s why I ran.
Do I think he cares about me? Yes. Do I think he would hurt me? Yes. Raze is a businessman first, a
killer second, and then my partner last. That’s how I always felt the cookie crumbled when it came to our
life together. I don’t trust what he would do to me, if he knew I’m pregnant. But I know I’d kill him myself
before I let him hurt my baby.
There was no way he would have met my news with a smile. Absolutely no way. Turning onto my
back, and figuring I won’t be getting any sleep any time soon, I flick on my bedside light and lean back on
my headboard. The furniture I bought are all thrift shop items, but they’ll do. My plain double bed sits
inside the studio apartment, and my couch and little TV are at the end of my bed. The bathroom is right
beside my bed, and the kitchen is on the other side of the TV.
The place is old and the walls are plastered a mangy mustard color, but the one thing I do like about it
is the large window that sits right beside my bed. The view during the day is rather depressing, what with
all the abandoned buildings and homeless people who walk around down below, but the view of the sky
at night is stunning.
Swinging my legs off the bed, I walk toward the couch where my phone is and scoop it up. The time
reads 1:00 a.m., but I’m thinking she’s used to phone calls at all hours. Pressing Call, I place the phone to
my ear and wait until she picks up.
“Hello?”
“Bella,” I say breathlessly. “I need your help.”
“LOOK HARDER.” I HUNCH OVER my chair as all six boys stare at me in bewilderment. “What?” I snap at
them, and they shake their heads.
“Look,” Angel says, stepping forward. I still don’t know if I trust him or not, or whether he’s hiding
anything, but in the end, I always find out. “Maybe she just wanted to leave, Raze. I mean that on
completely neutral ground. Maybe she jus—”
“Didn’t want me?” I finish for him, standing to all my six-foot five-inches. I step toward Angel and he
steps back. “Tell me, why would she tell me she loves me and that she wants to be with me, but then
leave? You were the last person to see her, so you wanna tell me something I’m missing here? ‘Cause I
got fucking nothing.”
Angel glares at me. “I didn’t do anything. She wanted to leave, Raze. It was her decision. I couldn’t
stop that. She caught a cab and that was that.”
“And you didn’t call me?”
“I did, but you didn’t answer.”
He called once. He should have called more.
Royal stands from the table. “Raze? What’s the plan?”
I step backward, sitting back on my seat. “She knows too much.”
“So what?” Angel scoffs. “You gonna eighty-six her? The woman you may not be able to admit yet is
the one and only person you have ever loved or given a shit about?”
“This”—I point to the table—“is what I have to protect. She left me. Why should I protect her over
what I’ve spent years upon years building? When you can answer me that, then we can talk. But she knows
too much. She knows my alliances, she knows the deals we’ve done, she knows who is in my pockets
from the DA, she knows it all. This is exactly why you don’t tell women shit. Even if you marry them.”
“You’ve got it all wrong,” Angel whispers from his seat. “Man, Millie would never fucking rat. She’s
been down for you through fucking everything.” He stands from his seat and I lean back in mine.
Obviously, the man needs to vent. “Think about what you’re doing here, Raze. She knows you, knew your
darkest and deepest demons, yet she still loved you. She’s loyal to you, and has been since she set foot in
this house. Hell, probably ever since she laid her innocent eyes on you in the dungeon. What’d the note
say?” he asks, leaning his fists on the table.
“Are you done with your bitching?” I run my index finger over my upper lip.
 “What did the note say, Raze?”
I fish it out of my pocket and fling it toward him. He catches it midair and unwraps it, his eyes looking
to me for a brief second before reading.
Shaking his head, he places the note onto the table. “She knew you’d kill her, or at the very least try.”
“She knows me, Angel. Sit the fuck down before I put a bullet between your eyes.” He pauses, his jaw
flexing a couple of times. “Or is there something else you’d like to share with everyone?”
Angel sits back down, his eyes remaining on the wall. “Nothing.”

It has been three months since I left Raze, and he still hasn’t found me. Or he has and he’s waiting for his
chance. I’m not sure which it is. I close my eyes as my hands skim over my belly. There’s a little swollen
bump that sits under the palm of my hand now. I really wish I could talk to my mom around this time, see
what she was like when she was pregnant with me and Melissa. See if she was showing only five months
in.
“Millie?”
Everything snaps into focus. “Sorry, what? I zoned out.”
“I saw that.” Bella smiles at me. “Hon, we need to get you an ultrasound. I’m going to write you a
prescription for prenatals and referral for a sonogram. Is that okay?” Her eyes are etched with worry;
even I can see that. But she understands my fear. She understands, because she knows Raze. When I called
her that first night, I had every intention of getting her to refer me to a different doctor, because I didn’t
want to involve her, but she was adamant that she wanted to do this.
“Okay.” I rub my hand over my belly. “Ultrasound it is.”
She scribbles on her pad, crossing her legs. Bella always looks presentable. With suit slacks on and a
loose white blouse, and her brown hair up in a Chinese bun, she’s beautiful and strong. She stops writing
and tears off a piece of paper, handing it to me. “That’s for your ultrasound, and this,” she finishes off
writing on another piece and then tears it off, “is for iron supplements. You need it. Also, we need to get
some blood tests done at some point, but I think we can do that at our next visit.” She smiles softly,
placing her hand over mine. “I love your hair, by the way.”
She gestures toward my head, and I run my fingers through my now dark brown, almost black, hair.
“Thanks. Thought it might be the smart thing to do, you know, considering.”
Her brow cocks. “Considering you’re still in Vegas?”
I smile. “Yes.” I didn’t want to go far off the map, or I simply couldn’t. I didn’t have the funds or the
connections to just drop off the face of the earth in some obscure European town—as much as I would
have liked to. And anyway, Raze wouldn’t guess I’d still be here. He wouldn’t expect me to be stupid
enough to remain on his turf.
She nods. “True, but the hair suits you. I like it.”
“Thanks.” I look down to my hands. “Have you heard from him?”
“Raze?” she asks. “Yeah, Joker got into a bit of trouble a couple weeks ago.”
My heart thuds in my chest. “What kind of trouble? Is he okay?” I don’t know why I care so much
about these men. They had done unspeakable things to me, but somewhere between the dungeon and the
day I left, we had all grown close.
She smiles, packing her papers into her satchel. “Don’t you worry about those boys.”
 But I do. I do worry. I am worrying. My heart feels hollow, but I know this is what I have to do. Bella
begins walking toward the door and I quickly stand.
“Thank you!” I blurt out, just as her hand grasps the door handle.
She turns to face me, pushing her bag up her shoulder more. “For what?”
“For everything, but especially for doing this for me. I know what you’re risking.”
She grins. “No problem, Millie. Rest.” Then she’s gone, and I’m left in my icy apartment. It’s times
like these, the lonely times, when I really miss Miles. I know he’s here with me through everything
anyway, but these silent moments are the ones I can feel his presence more and hear his snide little
comments. If he were still alive, he would’ve been here with me. I have no doubt about it.
Walking to the shower, I scrub up quickly—not by choice, but because there’s usually no hot water left
this late in the afternoon. I then shimmy into my silk robe. It’s pearl-white, rimmed in lace, and hangs just
over my butt cheeks. Brushing my hair out, I make a hot chocolate and then hit the couch, flicking through
whatever is on network TV. Checking that my pistol is loaded and sitting under my cushion, I lay down on
my side, and it isn’t long before my eyes shut and sleep takes hold.

Wet leaves crunch under my feet as I run through the gloomy forest. Misty fog whispers past my cheeks
and through my hair, my breath coming in violent waves. My feet pound over the forest floor and my
hair whips across my face in haunting lashes. Multiple laughs echo around me, seeping into my flesh
and turning my blood ice-cold until all the warmth I was feeling was replaced by utterly glacial mist.
With shivers erupting over my skin, I stop my running and look from left to right.
“What do you want?” I scream out, slowly stepping backward through the murky air until my back
collides with a rough tree trunk.
The deep laughter slinks out again as a pitter-patter of footsteps rush nearby. My hand cups my
belly protectively, and I gasp, looking down at my hands. “No!” I shake my head, blood seeping off my
fingertips.
“No.” I shake my head as pain rips through every cell in my body. “No!” I scream, dropping to my
knees and curling into a fetal position. I look up through the painful surges that are wracking through
my body, and that’s when I see them. All six of them wearing their assigned masks, their chests
vibrating with laughter.
Raze removes his mask and cocks his head. “Judgment day, pet. Your time is fucking up.”

I open my eyes, launching off the couch in an erratic mess, and swipe away the waterfall of sweat that’s
pouring down my face. My heart pounds in my chest at super-sonic speeds, and I look down to my belly,
my hand cupping around my very real and very there bump.
“Shit,” I whisper, attempting to bring my heart rate down. Fuck, pregnancy does crazy stuff to your
dreams.
 Turning off the television, I scoop up my pistol from under my pillow and walk toward my bed,
slipping under the covers. Curling into the blankets, I hope the dream doesn’t pick up where it ended.
The alarm on my phones rings out, interrupting my sleep. I moan, crawling out of bed slowly and
making my way to the shower. I wash up in record time before throwing on a long maxi dress, which hugs
my breasts but flows nicely down to my feet. In a hurry, I braid my hair into a fishtail and let it fall loosely
over my shoulder before grabbing my phone and handbag and walking out the front door.
“Hey, Benny,” I say to the lone cat that is always sitting at the top of the stairs. I’m not sure who owns
him, but I leave food out for him most nights. I’m still getting used to cooking for one instead of for a pack
of boars who look like they’ve came off a mystical ship from Valhalla.
Walking out the front doors, I start toward the closest community clinic. It’s about a five-minute trek,
which isn’t far, and anyway, the morning is my favorite time of the day to go for a walk. It’s when half the
world is still in their sleepy haze, when the air is fresh, crisp, and seemingly untouched. I look around my
surroundings. Well, at least the air is all those things. I wouldn’t be able to say the same about the
environment.
Crossing the road, there’s a homeless man warming up his hands in front of a barrel fire in the middle
of an empty playground. I bet that playground was once fresh and vibrant. Now it just hangs there in a
gnarled mess of old wood and rusted metal. The buildings I pass are mainly covered in artistic graffiti,
the intricate splashes of paint sprayed over the old, rundown buildings.
It’s rustic here, but broken. It’s real. Raze would never think to find me here, ever. At the thought of
his name, goose bumps prickle down my spine and an eerie whoosh of wind sweeps over my skin,
bristling through my hair.
Prickles of horror spark as the feeling of someone following me cracks through my chest, and I spin
around suddenly, in a heavy-breathing mess, only to find nothing. Just some young boys I passed and the
homeless man back at the park, where the flame continues to flicker under his hand. Attempting to bring
my breathing under control again, I turn back around and walk toward my appointment, this time picking
up my pace.
“A GIRL?” I WHISPER, LOOKING down at the little black-and-white sonogram picture. Horror slowly snakes
under my skin. “Five months along, and a girl?” I stand to my feet and place the photo onto my small
wicker bedside table. I don’t know why the thought of having a girl terrifies me more than having a boy.
Possibly, it’s because I was hoping that maybe, one day, I’d see Raze again, and he just seems like the
type of person who would rather have a boy than a girl. Exhaling out a tired breath, my brick-like ancient
phone blares from the bed. Scooping it up, I answer right away.
“Millie?” my mom’s semi-panicked voice replies. Melissa must have given her my phone number. I’d
have to talk to her about her big mouth.
“Yeah, hey, Mom. What’s up?” No one knows I’m pregnant, no one at all except Bella. They all think
Raze and I had a big breakup and that I just want to be left a one for a while. Melissa has been
withdrawing money out of my trust account and delivering it to my little post office box I have reserved in
town. I mailed her a key so she could access it. I can’t risk Raze ever finding out, but I also know that he
wouldn’t hurt Melissa. Well, at least I’d hope he wouldn’t hurt her. I’m relying on Hella to keep her safe.
“Honey, I’m worried about you. I haven’t seen you in six months.”
I exhale, plunking down onto the sofa. “I know, Mom. I’ve just been so busy.”
“I know you and your sister have your own lives now, and I love that you do, but I miss you both,
honey.”
“We know, Mom, but you raised us to be independent. You should be proud of that.”
“I am,” she answers softly. “I’m so very proud of you both, but I’m still your mother.”
I giggle, taking off my Keds and slinging them across the room. “Where in the world are you this
time?” I lean back on the sofa and elevate my legs on the coffee table.
“In the Hamptons. The people here are not my kind of people.”
I can see her fake smile while she’s talking on the phone, maintaining her appearance and all that.
“Well, I’m glad you’re keeping busy.”
“Where are you staying? Melissa said you found a man and you had a fight?”
“Yes,” I hiss. “I’m staying at a place. It’s not too far from all of you.” Obviously, it’s far from the
Hamptons, but Mom knew I was in Vegas anyway, so it’s just about trying to keep her questions to a
minimum.
“That’s not very comforting, Millie.”
“I didn’t say it to comfort you, Mom. I’m just telling the truth.”
“You sound different. Stronger.”
 I smile. “Maybe. Hey, Melissa and I were talking about our baby photos,” I lie, wanting to ask my
mom so many questions about pregnancy, and honestly, it was just nice to talk to her, or to anyone,
because I’ve been so isolated. “Anyway, what was your births and pregnancies like with us? Melissa says
that she was the hardest birth for you, and I was easy.”
Mom sighs down the phone. “Yes and no. Both of you were the same, pregnancy-wise. The births, on
the other hand, started to get shorter. Melissa was long and tedious, but you were short and sweet.”
I smirk smugly, but then remember that she said her first was harder. “How long were you in labor
for?”
“Melissa was around twenty hours, and you were around four hours.”
“Wow,” I whisper. “That’s a big difference.”
“Well,” Mom says, “you were always both so very different.”
“That’s true. Okay, Mom, I better go. I’ll give you a call next week, okay?”
She huffs. “Okay, sweetie. Keep in contact.”
After hanging up the phone, I fling it onto the coffee table and stretch out my stiff limbs on the squeaky
sofa. I sink into the uncomfortable spring couch, my hand sinking under the pillow, where my pistol is
tucked safely, and before I know it, sleep pulls me in.

The pebbles imprinted into the soles of my feet as I continued to run across the road. The inky night
fell around me in dark echoes from the moon taking the sun’s place as I looked down at the golden
watch that was strapped around my wrist. Confusion shades my vision. It showed 12:00 p.m. Why was
it so dark at 12:00 p.m.? And whose was this damn watch?
“Run, run, as fast as you can….”
I jolted and resumed my running at the sound of the lullaby being sung by a familiar voice. Joker. I
headed straight for the abandoned playground I had passed so many mornings, and ducked under the
old wooden playhouse, drawing in deep, labored breaths. Dried, withered leaves whisked in the air,
entrapped in tiny tornados, sending deathly chills crawling across my face.
“What do you want?” I scream out into the nothingness of the inky sky. Heavy mist reeled around
my feet, thickening with each passing minute. My panic intensified as the fog rose, until it clouded my
vision and I could hardly make out the swings that were an inch away from me. Slowly stepping
backward, my back collided with a hard chest and I turned suddenly, coming face-to-face with the
silver mask I knew so well.
“Raze?” I whispered.
Turning, I saw all of The 6 circled around me, their masks dancing in the fog, haunting me,
tormenting me with their very existence. “Times up, pet,” Raze seethed. I went to clutch my stomach,
when I felt the familiar wetness on the front on my loose shirt. Bringing my hand up close to my face, I
tilted my head and exhaled.
“No,” I whispered hoarsely at the bright red blood seeping off my hands. “No!”
My eyes flick open slightly, until I’m greeted with the familiar surroundings of my dingy studio unit.
Unable to open my eyes wider, my chest feels heavy and my breathing comes in struggled waves. Shaking
my head from side to side in attempt to clear my foggy brain, short hair tickles my temple, and my eyes
snap open in alert.
“Times up, pet,” Raze growls into my ear.
I go to let out a scream, only for his hand to slam down over my mouth. I look up into his eyes, the
sheer shock and horror still pumping through my veins. His eyes narrow.
“You think you can run from me?” he asks, his knee spreading one of my legs open until it falls and
dangles hopelessly off the edge of the couch. He looks down at me with so much hate it could burn
through hell itself. He presses his crotch into me, rubbing his hardness over my center. My eyes slam shut
and I repeat the mantra in my head.
This is not real.
This is another dream.
Your mind is playing tricks on you again.
He laughs, his evil, deep growl shaking my very core. Cold steel presses up against my throat, the
metal from his knife sending tingles over every inch of my flesh. “You know too much,” he whispers
calmly, pressing the knife against my throat harder. I slam my eyes closed as I inch under my pillow more,
which isn’t exactly hard, considering my hands were pretty much in that position anyway. Gripping the
cold steel of my pistol, I cock it quickly and then whip it up to face him.
He doesn’t flinch.
With a gun pointing at his head. He. Doesn’t. Flinch.
“Get… the fuck… off me,” I growl, my eyes searching his. “Now.”
He still doesn’t move, looking between each of my eyes, and then he—
Did he just smirk?
Anger oozes inside me as I press the tip of the pistol against his temple. “Get the fuck off me, or I will
shoot you.”
He doesn’t move. “Do it,” he taunts through a whisper. He grins again, the blunt side of the knife
pressing deeper into my neck. “Go on. Do it, baby.”
I tilt my head. “What? You think I won’t, Raze?” I laugh hysterically. “I will blow your fucking brains
out all over these walls if you even think of harming me or…” I lean up until my nose is against his, my
eyes searching his from left to right before dragging the tip of my nose up his chiseled jaw, pulling his ear
into my mouth. I bite down on it, closing my eyes, and chuckle. “…Our baby.”
Just as the words leave my mouth, a solid rolling kick presses against the inside of my womb and
against her father’s gut. He flies off of me and looks down at my stomach in horror.
“The fuck did you just say?” he roars, his eyes boring into my bump. I chuckle, my gun following his
movements. He’s taking this exactly how I thought he’d take it.
“I’m pregnant. And if you can’t figure it out, you’re the dad,” I reply tiredly.
The knife he had clutched in his hand, which was not long ago pressed against my throat, drops to the
ground as his hand comes up to his hair. He tugs on the strands roughly before turning to face the wall.
Pushing myself up off the couch, I casually walk toward the kitchen, tucking my piece into the front of
my pajama shorts. I take down a mug, pouring hot chocolate into it and then adding cream, and then place
it into the microwave while I wait for him to calm down. I watch the timer count down, and I can’t help
but think these could very well be the final minutes of both our lives, because if he takes me down, I’m
taking him with me.
Stunning couple we are.
When the timer dings, I pull open the microwave door and take out my hot mug, clutching the handle.
Slowly, I turn to face Raze with the drink pressed to my mouth. His eyes lock onto mine with an
unreadable expression clouding his face. This is a first. Usually, I can read Raze pretty well.
I take a sip, burning my lip and tongue in the process.
“It’s a girl,” I whisper when the silence becomes unbearable and his eyes haven’t blinked away from
mine. I have an urge to scratch my cheek or see if there’s anything on me out of the ordinary, but then I
remember I’m carrying a baby, so that is void. But his eyes aren’t on my stomach. They’re latched onto
mine. He looks like a hungry hunting dog after it’s cruel owner starved it until a hunt. Like a tiger would
after he has been starved during a drought.
Eventually, his eyes drop to my stomach, and it’s like he’s noticed it finally. How could he miss the
bump when he was lying on me? He probably figured I had been feeding my nugget addiction, considering
there’s a McDonald’s just a block away. He would be right; I have been, but that’s obviously not why I
have a bump, and the way his eyes are holding my stomach, he realizes it.
“Is that why you ran?” he chokes out, pulling his eyes from my stomach and bringing them back up to
my face. “Because you’re pregnant?”
I take another sip of the now drinkable chocolate. “Yes.”
He exhales and walks to my couch, dropping down onto it, while his hands clutch around his face and
his elbows rest on his knees. “Millie,” he says softly, painfully, and for a second, I want to wrap my arms
around him to soothe him, make him feel better. Then I remember he was about to slit my throat, so I walk
to where he was standing instead, eyeing the blade at my feet. I always knew, with someone like Raze, it
would take a hell of a lot more than love to break through his hard exterior, but I didn’t think he’d actually
pull a knife on me. In the back of my mind, I rode on the fact he cared about me and that I was different.
Obviously, my judgment is shit.
“Don’t,” I tell him, sitting down on the bright blue rug I found at a thrift shop, and lean against the
table that holds my TV. “I don’t need you to justify why you were about to murder me in my sleep.”
“What?” He looks up to me, his hands falling away from his face.
“You don’t need to explain. I knew you would do it. It’s why I asked you to hold out until after I had
the baby. I mean, I obviously overestimated the date just to be safe, so I could at least have my final meal.
I just hoped….” I murmur, my eyes misting over as pain pulls deep in my chest. It isn’t a fierce, obvious
pain, like I felt when Miles died. This is a soft gust of dark shadows kind of pain. It’s slow and torturous
as it slides through every single nook and cranny of every vein in my body.
“Millie,” he repeats softly under a scoff, glancing to the side. “Babe, I wasn’t going to kill you.”
I look up at him instantly. His face is serious, somber, but his features are marred with stress. I can
see the past few months have obviously taken a toll on him. He is still the most beautiful man I’ve ever
seen walking this earth.
“What?” I ask, bewildered, my head tilting and a single tear trickling out of my eye.
I swipe it away quickly.
“Don’t cry.” He stands from the couch, and I shuffle back on my knees sluggishly, watching as he
kneels down in front of me, his face a whisper away from mine. I can feel his sweet, minty breath falling
over my lips, and my tongue darts out, sliding across to wet them. His eyes drop, following the path my
tongue led.
“I was just going to tie you up and lock you in the meeting room until you submitted to me.” He shrugs
casually.
“What?” I’m confused, lost in the beauty of his eyes. They’re fierce and strong, like him, and have
always sent chills bristling over me. But now, there is something else in their depths. Something else
entirely.
“Hey,” he says when another tear falls down my rosy cheek. His thumb swipes it away, catching it
before it goes any farther. He raises his thumb to his lips, and I watch as they wrap around it, sucking it
off. Heat flushes to my core instantly and I blush, breaking our gaze. “Don’t fucking cry, Millie. I can
handle anything in this fucking world, and I’d tear the skin off anyone who dares hurt you, but the one thing
that can make me crack is seeing these fucking beautiful eyes weep.”
More tears flow out of me as my chest blossoms with warmth from his words. I laugh awkwardly,
swiping the tears off my face. “That was really sweet.”
He grins, one of his arms coming under my legs as his other wraps around my back, lifting me off the
ground. “I can do sweet.”
I laugh, throwing my head back as my arm snakes around his neck. “Sorry, I don’t mean to laugh, but
that’s hilarious.”
“Yeah, I still have that knife, you know,” he jokes, walking me toward my bed.
I grin and flash the steel switchblade in front of his now shocked face. “Really?” My eyebrow quirks.
He chuckles, placing me onto the bed gently. Walking to the tiny closet that’s tucked in the corner, he
pulls out my suitcase.
“What are you doing?” I ask, folding my legs under my butt.
“You’re coming home. It’s final.”
“And the baby?” I ask, watching as his face changes.
“Sorry, babe. I’m gonna need some time to warm up to this, but in the meantime, I want you home.”
“Raze.” I shake my head. “I knew you weren’t going to exactly be hot about this—”
“Millie,” he cuts me off, “I don’t want to go there right now. It’s a lot for me to take in, but I can
handle it. I just can’t go there right now.” He points to my stuff. “Pack.”
“Um, and my expensive décor?” I gesture around the apartment.
He pauses, watching my expression, and I don’t know if he wants to hit me or kiss me. “You’re
joking?”
“Yes,” I hiss, feeling rather offended. “I was joking, but there’s a single mom who lives in one of the
rooms down below. I’ll see if she wants anything. Otherwise, we’ll have to clean it out.”
He nods, carrying on with opening drawers and pulling clothes out. He flings one of my G-strings at
me. “These are coming with.”
I snatch them off the bed and throw them toward my suitcase.
“Of course they are. They’re Victoria’s fucking Secret.”
PULLING OPEN THE PASSENGER DOOR of the Phantom, I slide into the large luxurious interior and close the
door behind me. Raze shuts the backdoor after he’s unloaded my suitcase and climbs into the driver’s
seat. The silence is deafening, and although I know that Raze’s and my bond is still invincible against
everyone else, he’s still Raze, and I know the pregnancy is disturbing to him. I just don’t know what part.
Is it the fact I’m pregnant, or is it because he’s actually afraid? I’d understand either side, but I also know
that no one can force Raze to do anything or open up to anyone. He will do it in his own space and time.
He pulls us out of the parking lot and past the playground I walked by so many times. The old
homeless man is back in his spot, standing around his barrel fire as the flames light up his eyes. His beard
is long and his clothes are badly soiled and torn. My heart breaks a little when I think about my dad and
how he was homeless for years. Melissa and I didn’t know until Hella came into her life. It was some
sick and twisted fate for their stars to cross. Cute, but… not cute, because their relationship is far from a
fairy tale, but somehow sweeter than Raze’s and mine. We sure know how to pick our men.
Dad would be proud.
“How many times have you had McDonald’s, and be honest.” He looks at me out of the corner of his
eye.
I pretend to mull over his question, looking down at my fingernails. Laughing, I smile at him, resting
my hand over my bump. His eyes fall down to my stomach as pain flashes over his face, and he quickly
turns his attention back to the road.
I sigh inwardly. “Only a couple of nights a week. It would be more,” I say, turning to look out the
window and watching as all the trees flash past in blurred waves. “But she has sort of decided she can
live on hot chocolate, and fries dipped in ice-cream.”
He turns toward me quickly. “What?” He grins, hiding a laugh.
I smile. “Yeah.” I rub my belly. “That’s all I think about, and when I’m not thinking about it, it’s
because I’m eating it.”
He chuckles, flashing his straight white teeth and two dimples before resting his eyes back in front of
us. “I like your hair dark.” He smirks, not looking at me.
“Oh yeah?” I bait him. “How much?”
He rolls his eyes. “Not enough to join you in eating fries dipped in ice-cream, but enough.”

We pull into his gravel driveway, and I step out of the car as soon as we stop. I hate to admit it, but I
missed this place. I even missed the pack of crazy men who haunt this house. Even though they’re all
killers and all live on different ends of the crazy scale, they are what I know and I feel safe here. With
Raze, in this house, surrounded by everyone.
Suddenly, shame washes over me. I realize I shouldn’t have left. It was a dumb move on my part, but
another part of me thinks that if I hadn’t, maybe Raze would have killed me. I mean, he thought I had left
him because I didn’t love him. I think the fact I’m pregnant somehow fell on the better side for him, which
gives me a little hope.
“Come on, babe. Get that ass inside.”
I smile, taking his hand in mine as I let him lead me toward the front door. We haven’t even reached
the top step, when Joker swings the door open with a bowl of ice-cream clutched in one hand and a spoon
hanging out of his mouth. His hair is ruffled everywhere, and his abs tense as he grins at me. Seriously,
one would think a scar like that on his face would tone down the ego a little. Not Joker though, oh no. He
knows exactly just how hot he is, and anyway, that scar gives him the edge his boyish features need. His
face is pretty-boyish, but they sit on a masterpiece of a body that could be built for a warrior. Not as big
as Raze, but still built… angry.
He drags the spoon out of his mouth slowly, his lips wrapping around the curve before he makes a pop
sound. “The runaway queen is home!” he shouts over his shoulder in a menacing tone. “And she’s”—he
looks down to my belly, and I narrow my eyes—“either been eating too many chicken nuggets, or is
cooking a mini-executioner slash Harley Quinn baby.”
I roll my eyes and shove past him, removing my shoes as I reach the warm enclosure of… well, home.
Raze steps in and slices him with a glare. “Shut up, Joker.”
“Hey.” Joker’s hands swing up. “I was just sayin’. And anyway”—he leans to the side, his eyes
zeroing in on my ass—“it looks good on you.”
Raze slaps him upside the head, and Joker rubs the part he hit like an abused little puppy. His face
changes and he grins again just as Angel walks toward us with Viking, Royal, and another man I haven’t
met yet. His hair is jet-black and his beard is long on his face. But it is clean-long, not scruffy-long. He
has dark eyes that are bleak, shadowed, and empty. Leaning against the doorframe, he watches as
everyone comes to see me.
“See?” Joker points. “Mommy and Daddy are back together.”
“Shut up, Joker,” we all say in unison.
Angel pulls me in for a hug, and I exhale into his familiar embrace. “Hey,” I murmur, muffled into his
shoulder. “You miss me?”
He laughs, pushing back slightly. “More than you’ll ever know.”
His arm hooks around my shoulder, and he says to Joker, after slapping him over the back of his head
as he walks past, “And she’s obviously pregnant, dick.”
I giggle, and Raze shakes his head, tugging on my hand until I slip out of Angel’s embrace and into his.
I look up to the dark, shadowed man who’s leaning against the door as we pass, and Raze stops. “That’s
Soulless.”
Soulless doesn’t smile. He merely invades my being with a single flick of his eyes. “Hi,” I squeak,
soberly terrified of this serious, broody, and terrifying man.
He looks to Raze with a knowing glance. “Hi,” he states, before pushing off the doorframe and
walking out the front door.
I look up to Raze and he shakes his head. “Talk about it later. Don’t worry about him.”
But I do worry. I worry a lot about him. There’s something about him that doesn’t sit right with me.
Not because he wasn’t friendly with me, but because it was as if he hated me. I don’t have much time to
think about that, because Joker is already filling up a bowl of ice-cream and handing it to me as we walk
into the kitchen.
I take it with a “Thanks,” then watch as he goes back to the sitting room, taking a seat on the large L-
shaped sofa and kicking his feet up onto the coffee table. Joker, Viking, and Royal laugh while continuing
to watch whatever sport is playing on TV. It’s strange to see something so… human happening in this
house.
Raze goes to the fridge and pulls out a drink. “Go get settled. I’ll be up in a sec.”
“Yeah,” I say, placing the uneaten bowl of ice-cream onto the counter. “I’m a bit tired.”
Climbing the stairs, I automatically go to Raze’s door and walk up the second flight of steps to his
bedroom. Dropping my handbag on the large four-poster bed I’m so familiar with, I walk toward the
bathroom and slip into the shower. Scrubbing up quickly, I inhale Raze’s sweet, spicy man-soap while
enjoying a proper shower. Shutting off the faucet, I wrap the soft towel around myself.
Raze’s bathroom is huge. It’s equipped with twin sinks and a long glass-encased shower. It’s almost
like a sanctuary up here, where he looks down on his kingdom through all the windows that surround his
room. Opening the door, I slip on one of his shirts. Pulling my hair out from underneath, my eyes catch him
sitting on his bed.
“Hey,” I whisper hoarsely, rounding the bed. He smiles as I stand in front of him. He leans back on his
elbows and spreads his legs wide, and I lower myself until I’m straddling his waist and his erection is
pressing into my sex. Grinning, he lays flat on his back as his fingertips trail up my hips and come up to
my ribcage. He presses my body weight down harder while sucking his bottom lip into his mouth.
“You miss me?” he groans.
The question throws me off. It’s so… unlike Raze.
“A little,” I confess. “But I have to admit, the thought of you pressing a knife against my throat sort of
turns me…” I pause and think over what I’m about to say. I was supposed to say “off,” because I actually
thought he wanted to kill me. But now… now that I know he wasn’t actually going to kill me, it doesn’t
turn me off at all. Quite the opposite.
Whore.
Oh, there they are. I’d been wondering what happened to my voices.
He flips me over onto my back and stretches my legs wide with his. “Turns you… what?” He runs his
slick tongue over my bottom lip. “What?” he repeats, his eyes darkening. “The knife excite you?”
Oh boy. Can I handle Raze’s bedroom games while I’m five months pregnant? I grin. Absolutely.
His hips roll into me and I close my eyes, relishing the feeling of his heavy body weighing me down,
but also a little uncomfortable because of the bump.
Tapping his shoulder, I say, “On your back.”
He lets me go, his hands coming up in surrender while he shuffles back against the headboard, and I
get to my feet. I search the room for what I’m looking for, and my eyes fall on his drawer, which houses so
many of his toys. I grin, walking toward the drawer, and his eyes follow.
“Fuck no, baby. There is no way you’re getting your hands on—”
I pull out the heavy silver metal. “Handcuffs?” I grin, fluttering my lashes at him. “I’ll tell you what,” I
say, climbing back onto the soft bed until my knees sink under my weight. I crawl up toward him and then
slowly make my way up his body. “You let me do this,” I tease, “and I’ll forget you almost ganked me in
my sleep.”
“First of all,” he begins, “don’t ever say ‘gank.’ That term reminds me of the twit downstairs. And
second of all.” His features darken and a smile invades his face. “Deal.”
I latch the silver cuffs around his wrists, and he growls softly.
“Nuh-uh.” I shake my finger in front of his face. “My turn to play.”
After hooking the cuffs onto the little poles on the headboard, I grin, looking down at Raze’s body.
Each bulging muscle is tensing from his arms being above his head. I run my nails down his torso,
grinding them over each embossed muscle. He hisses, and I pull his jeans down until his cock springs
free. Grasping it in my hand, I pump him a couple times until a bead of cum slides out the tip, and I rub the
cushion of my thumb over it. I massage him softly and then stand, removing his T-shirt which catches
where his hands are cuffed, before looming over him in all my naked glory.
He yanks on the handcuffs with a soft growl. “Don’t test my strength, babe.”
I giggle, dropping back down to him and gripping his cock in my hand. Leaning forward, I suck him
into my mouth slowly, peeking up at him from under my lashes. His eyebrows are drawn in, his bottom lip
sucked into his mouth, and damn if it isn’t the hottest sight I’ve ever seen. Both his arms spread as his
wrists are cuffed above his head. I’m in complete control of him.
I like this game.
Running my tongue down his massive length, I suck, kiss, and lick all the way down to his balls,
pulling one into my mouth and running my tongue around him in circles before coming back up then
slipping him back inside my mouth. My hand follows my mouth’s movements, and I continue my torture,
sucking him harder as my tongue circles him. “Fuck, baby, I’m—”
Yeah, that’s right you are.
Hot cum shoots to the back of my throat, and I swallow each drop before moving back to his tip and
licking the remnants of his pleasure off, wanting every little bit of him. I grin, getting to my knees and
sucking the bead of cum off that was on my thumb. His eyes narrow before he yanks at the handcuffs
roughly. I squeal out in shock when he breaks the little poles the handcuffs were attached to, his grasp
coming straight to my hips. He lifts me up quickly and then lies on his back, dropping me down onto his
face so I’m straddling him.
“Ride me, baby,” he growls against my folds. Spreading my ass cheeks, he moves my hips just as his
tongue flicks over my clit. I gasp, throwing my head back as his tongue explores every inch of my sex. His
expert tongue slips and licks, and he nibbles on my clit as his fingers slip inside me, circling me roughly
and smashing against my G-spot with every thrust. My stomach tightens, my legs quiver, and just when I’m
about to explode, he slips his tongue inside my channel and I’m done for. Spasms shake through my nerves
as I jerk against his mouth.
Coming down, I slide off his face and wiggle down to his stomach, our bodies slipping over each
other, and I lay my head on his chest, catching my breath while listening to the hard beating of his heart.
He rolls me onto my back, widening my legs with his own. He doesn’t talk; he just looks down at me as
he slides into me, filling me up.
I bring my hands up to the back of his neck as he draws back slowly and then pushes in, circling his
pelvic bone each time he plunges. This time is different. It’s slow, sensual. Our bodies move together,
slipping over each other with nothing but our sweat between us. His mouth drops down onto mine, kissing
me. His lips taking me in slow licks, moving over mine softly. He doesn’t break away.
For the next two hours, he kisses me and doesn’t stop. Even when I’m screaming his name into his
mouth and he’s groaning mine, he doesn’t stop kissing me. Even when our hair is dripping wet and our
bodies are drained, he doesn’t stop diving into me softly until our bodies shake. We slowly fall asleep
wrapped in each other’s embrace, with him still inside me.
“I GUESS I SHOULD CALL Melissa and tell her I’m back,” I say to Angel, shutting the fridge door and
pouring milk into my bowl.
He laughs. “Yeah, you should.” He walks up to me and points down to my belly. “Girl, huh?”
I smile, spooning granola into my mouth. “Mmm-hmm.”
His eyes haven’t moved, so I roll my eyes. “Want to feel the belly?”
He looks up at me. “Can I?” It’s cute, the wonder in his voice. I place his hand over my belly and he
grins slowly. “That’s insane.”
“Oh!” I smile, my eyes widening as I look up to him.
“Did she just kick?” He looks down, stunned.
“She did!”
“Damn, that’s cool as hell.”
I smile up at him. “Did you not feel this with Summer?”
His smile drops. “Her mom was a junkie. Summer was three months premature. She barely made it
into this world with her life because of her own mother.”
“Oh,” I whisper sadly. “I’m sorry.”
He shrugs, a smile beaming from him again. “Make her do it again!”
We’re both laughing and feeling around for her to kick again, when Raze walks in from his daily run.
He pauses, swiping the sweat off his forehead, then looks down to Angel’s hand on my bump. Angel
quickly retreats and walks out of the kitchen, with Raze watching him leave.
Spooning another mouthful of granola into my mouth, I say, “You don’t have to do that. I’m glad he’s
interested. They’re going to be a big part of her life, Raze.”
He doesn’t say anything, stepping toward the fridge and pulling out a fresh bottle of water, twisting the
cap off, and gulping it down. I watch as his Adam’s apple bobs past his swallowing, his eyes remaining
on me. Pulling the bottle down, he swipes his mouth with the back of his hand and places the water on the
bench.
“What?” I ask. “You’re going to need to talk to me about this one of these days, Raze, and I’d rather
you do it before she comes into this world.”
His eyes stay on mine and I cringe inwardly; he’s so damn intense. The ringing doorbell breaks our
epic stare-down and he looks toward the front door, pushing off the breakfast bar and walking away in
silence.
Going back to my granola, I mutter, “Asshole.” I silently ignore the hushed tones coming from the front
door—that is, until I hear a female voice. Sliding off the bar stool, I walk to the threshold of the kitchen
and lean on the archway with my arms crossed. The woman on the other side of the door peers around
Raze’s frame and catches my eye. I square my shoulders, my body stiffening. Her eyes narrow, and Raze
turns his head to look over his shoulder, seeing me there.
I scoff, pushing off the doorjamb. “Seriously?” When Raze doesn’t move and the woman smirks at me,
my scowl deepens. She’s wearing a white, ironed suit with her blood red lace bra showing slightly from
beneath her jacket, and her perky, but obviously fake, boobs press up to the high heavens. Her platinum
blonde hair is pulled back in a high, tight ponytail, tugging her almond eyes back severely. “Really, Raze?
Why am I not fucking surprised?”
I walk away from them and start stomping up the stairs. I don’t know why my mind jumped the way it
did, but maybe it has something to do with Raze’s track record with me. It didn’t take him long though, and
I feel sick. So while I was slumming it in my rundown apartment, worrying about our kid, he was getting
his dick wet with Miss Prim and Proper downstairs? I make down the hallway, and when I hear the front
door close, I duck into Miles’ room quickly. The morning sun always hits Miles’ room first. Leaning on
the door with my hand still on the doorknob, I flick the lock and walk toward his bed. It’s still so
untouched, and still has Miles’ scent everywhere. I love it.
Sinking onto the soft mattress, I lie down on my back and rub my belly, glancing up at the ceiling. This
was what Miles woke up to every morning. I miss him so much it consumes me at times. Turning onto my
side, I feel my eyes grow heavy and a yawn slipping past my lips.

“You cannot do that!” Miles scolded, as I threw back another shot of vodka.
“Oh yeah?” I grinned. “Says who?”
He looked horrified. “Says me! You can’t do that, puddin’. Put it back. That’s cheating.” I stood
from the other side of the chessboard and rounded it, wrapping my fingers around the back of his neck
and lowering myself down onto his lap. He groaned, his eyes rolling to the back of his head.
“You’re gonna get us both killed one day,” he murmured, his eyes heavy and eyebrows pulled in.
I ran the tip of my nose down his jaw. “You’d be worth it.”

Thud thud thud. “Millie, open this fucking door before I smash it down.”
Climbing off the bed, I look at the alarm clock on the bedside table to see I must have drifted off for
half an hour. Thud thud. “Millie!”
“All right! I’m coming.” I walk to the door, unlock it, and pull it open to a seething Raze.
“What the fuck is your problem?” he asks.
I shove past him, only he doesn’t let me through. I cross my arms in front of myself. “You’re my
problem! Who the fuck was that, and why can’t you keep your fucking dick in your pants?”
“That,” he throws back at me, pointing toward the front door, “was before you!”
I exhale, lowering my arms to my sides. Truth is, in my hormonal state, I’m hyperaware. I feel like any
little thing could either piss me off or get me horny.
“Why was she here?”
Raze watches me carefully, his eyes eating up the space between us. “Come on,” he says, nudging his
head over his shoulder. As he takes my hand in his, I follow him out of Miles’ room and down the hallway
until we reach the top of the stairs.
“Where are we going?” I ask, taking one step at a time.
“I need to show you something.” Tugging me out the front door, he beeps the Range Rover and pauses.
The loud crunching of the gravel under my feet silences and my chest almost collides with his back.
Turning around, he grins before flinging the keys toward me. “Here, you may as well get used to driving
it.”
 “What?” I palm the keys in my hand.
He gestures toward the shiny black Range Rover I’m so familiar with driving. “Family car. Since I
don’t do vans, this will have to do.”
“You’re going to let me use this full time?” I ask, cocking my head. His face falls briefly.
“Just until I get you a car, yeah.” He pulls open the passenger door, unaware of the effect he’s just had
on me.
“Raze!” I laugh under my breath, while still being completely serious. “I can’t use this, and I can buy
my own car.”
He growls, pushing open the passenger door and walking toward me. Running the backs of his coarse
knuckles over my cheek, he says, “Babe, you’re going to accept anything I buy for you, and this is the last
time we ever mention it.”
Why is this the last time we ever mention it? Being my stubborn self, I ask, “Why?”
His eyes drop to my belly and then come back to mine. Understanding sets in and I nod, squeezing his
hand reassuringly. He needs this. “Let’s go.” Raze is a man of few words—I know this—so when he
drops any sort of hint, I’ve learned to pick them up and shove them into my pocket for safe keeping.
Sliding into the driver’s side, I clip my seatbelt and push the start button.
“Where to?” I ask, watching his features harden the way I’ve seen them do so many times before. I’ve
always wondered why I feel so drawn to Raze—aside from him being beautiful—but there’s just
something about him. The way he carries his exquisitely dark shadows around. And at times, at the
smallest of times, he’s let me see those shadows lurking in his eyes, feel them through his touch, or hear
them through his words, but our connection goes deeper than that. He can deny it all he wants, but I know
him. As cheesy as this may sound, it’s as though he is made for me and only me. It’s like he’s been cooked
up using the ingredients to my soul, and that’s how he feeds me.
“Drive.” He clears his throat. “I’ll direct you as we go.”
The drive across town was a little longer than expected. That’s probably due to the time and it being
peak hour traffic. “Here.” He points, one hand hanging off the armrest, and the other resting in his lap.
I look toward the front of the car, and whisper, “Okay.”
Yanking up the emergency brake, I look outside to see old rusted metal all bound together by what I’m
assuming are equally rusted nails. There’s no sign of people around, and I’m not sure how long ago there
would have been anyone here. Taking my eyes off the abandoned building, I look back toward him. “Why
are we here, Raze?” From the look on his face, I want to reach out and take his hand, tell him it’s going to
be okay, but I know he’s going to be. I mean, this is Raze, right?
Clearing his throat, he tilts his head and pushes open the door. “Come on.”
Getting out of the driver’s side, I walk—or is that a waddle I feel?—around to the hood of the car,
watching Raze glare at the building in front of us.
Instincts win and I take his hand in mine, giving it a reassuring squeeze. His eyes falter and then come
down to me, where they morph into something a little more approachable. Lacing our fingers together, he
starts to lead us toward the building and through the smell of cold, old metal and untouched dust, until
we’re standing at the front of two washed out red metal doors. He pushes me behind him, and with a
heavy creak, he opens them until the inky interior is split from the setting sun.
He takes my hand again and I follow, ignoring the silence and just hoping he will trust me enough to
open up to me about why we’re here, what this place is, or what it means to him. Letting go of my hand, he
walks toward the center of the musky industrial shed and looks up to the ceiling. His Adam’s apple bobs
when he swallows, before he says, “Took my first life here.” And then he looks back at me, his eyes
darkening and his face changing. This is the executioner talking right now, not Raze. “I was five.” I suck in
a breath and he grins darkly. “You still want a kid with me?”
Chills break out over my body and I clear my throat. “That will never change. And besides, it’s a little
late to be asking that, don’t you think?” I attempt to lighten the mood with my own small smile. His
doesn’t falter, but he doesn’t find me funny. Instead, he steps toward me, and I have this terrifying urge to
step back, or hell, run? This is where the dumb girl gets murdered in the movies, right?
His head cocks as he saunters toward me, every sway of his shoulders threatening and every twitch of
his eye unnerving. A bead of sweat trickles down my temple, and I fight the urge to rub it off. “Why?” he
whispers, walking up to me until his chest is a mere breath away from mine. “Why have you never been
afraid of me? Why would you want to have a kid with me, Millie?” His head dips into my neck and his
nose brushes over my earlobe. “Hmm? Why me?” he growls so deep it shakes the hairs on my skin.
Swallowing down my fear, because, as cocky and as stupid as it may sound, I now know he’d never
hurt me. He had every reason to when he found me, so why do it now? I know he hasn’t said he loves me,
and I know I’m riding on a whole lot of hope, but what can I say? I’ve always been an optimist.
“Why not?” I answer truthfully. His chuckles quiver through the air.
“Because I just told you that I took my first fucking life in this very spot when I was five, Millie!” he
yells. “Do you wanna know who handed me the knife to slit the man’s throat?” He pauses. “Hmm?” When
I don’t answer but shake my head, he continues, “My fucking dad. The only fucking father figure I’ve ever
had. So what the fuck makes you think I’m cut out for this?”
He walks toward me, and this time, I do step backward, my ass bouncing off the creaking wooden
stair rail. When he notices the fear in my eyes, he chuckles again. His voice drops to a deadly tone as his
lips brush over my collarbone. He cages me in, his hands slamming up against the stairs on either side of
my head.
“What makes you think,” he whispers, “I can do this?” His breath brushes over my hot, suddenly
needy flesh. I close my eyes, trying to calm my erratic heart as it pounds against my chest, begging,
pleading for Raze’s touch. He presses his erection into me, ever so slightly. “What makes you think I can
care enough to have a kid?” he continues in the same tone. His hips circle into me slowly, and my breath
hitches.
“Because…,” I whisper, breathing out an unstable gush of breath. “Because you love me.”
He halts his grinding and he pauses over my skin, almost like he’s holding his breath. Maybe that was
too far. Maybe I shouldn’t have said that. Oh God, why the fuck did I say that?
He inches back until he’s looking down at me, searching my eyes. His drop to my mouth before
coming back up again, his expression morphing from anger, to confusion, back to anger, and then he blows
out a long, deep breath, his thumb gliding gently over my bottom lip. “I do,” he confesses lazily.
My heart slams against my chest. “What?” I ask in disbelief. Maybe I misunderstood. There’s no way,
right? I was winging this conversation.
“I fucking do,” he answers, before his lips smash down onto mine.
He loves me. Raze the executioner loves me, Millie Hart. My heart thuds against my chest, expanding,
stretching, so his chest can morph into mine and we can finally become one.
“I fucking do.” Scooping me up from behind my thighs, I wrap my legs around him as he presses my
back against the stairs and pulls away from me breathlessly. “I hadn’t actually finished my story.” He
smiles a genuine smile, flashing his pearly whites.
I giggle. “Go on.”
Setting me back down on my feet, his fingers lace with mine, and the rough cushions of his thumbs
graze over my knuckles. “It was my first kill,” he says easily. Too easily. “But it was also the very first
time I met Miles.”
Wait. What?

“Good boy, son,” Kurr said, patting Raze on his shoulder. “You did good.”
Raze let the blade slip from his hands and swiped the blood off that was on his face.
 “Dad?” Raze asked, looking up at Kurr. “Was he a bad man?”
Kurr laughed, dropping down to his level. Raze noticed the corners of Kurr’s eyes crinkling. “No,
son. He just owed money that didn’t belong to him.”
Raze thought over what his father said, but came up with nothing. One of Kurr’s bodyguards took
Raze’s hand and began to lead him out of the shed, when he heard sobbing in the corner, someone
crouched under the splitting wooden stairs. Raze yanked his hand out of the bodyguard’s grip and ran
over to the young boy, who had tears coming down his cheeks. His wore rags as clothes and looked at
Raze with horror.
“A-are you going to kill me?” the young boy had asked, swiping his tears off his cheeks angrily.
“I don’t know,” Raze answered, tilting his head to study him. He had to be younger than Raze by at
least a couple of years. Raze quickly put his hand into his pocket and fished out a one hundred dollar
bill and shoved it into the boy’s chest. “Here,” he said. The boy looked down to the money and looked
back to him.
“It has a cross on it.” It did. Raze had drawn bones in a cross with a skull sitting on top. He wasn’t
a very good drawer, so it looked terrible, but it was Raze’s “Lucky Hundred.” He named it that after
his mom survived the first beating Kurr inflicted on her. He called it “Lucky Hundred,” because he
counted his mom’s breaths that day, and from when he dropped to the ground, until people came to find
them, he counted one hundred breaths. When they took his mom away and into one of the medic rooms,
he had found the hundred-dollar bill inched between the two desks. Since then, he knew it was lucky.
He just hoped it could help the sad boy now.
“Son?” Kurr said, walking toward Raze slowly. He felt a strong, overprotective current take him as
he spun around on his feet and ran toward Kurr. “What is it?” Kurr asked, taking his son’s hand.
“Nothing,” Raze said. “It was a mouse or somethin’.”
Kurr watched him closely, his eyes narrowing. “All right then, son, come on.” He scooped Raze up
and flung him over his shoulder in a playful way. The only time Kurr had ever been playful with him,
so it made him smile. Maybe he would always be like this, as long as Raze kept doing what his dad
said?
He inched his head up and locked eyes onto the dirty little boy who was now peeking through one
of the steps to watch as Raze was walked out the door. He felt a pull toward the boy from that day. He
just didn’t realize it then.

I stand there speechless, unable to muster any sort of words. “But, did he know that kid was you?” I
ask, as he pulls me under his arm and leads me back out to the car.
He shakes his head, beeping the SUV. “No, he didn’t.”
I glance back to the large shed that holds so many firsts for Raze, before opening the door and slipping
into the passenger seat. “How did you know it was Miles?”
He pauses, pressing the start button and clicking his belt on.
“I followed him his whole life,” he replies calmly, pulling down the narrow path that leads back to
the road. Raze’s jaw clenches a couple of times. “He had ‘Lucky Hundred’ tattooed across his collarbone
in big letters, too.”
I gasp, the memory of Miles’ tattoo coming back to me.
“You sure he didn’t know that kid was you?”
“Yes,” Raze answers, taking our exit. “He didn’t have a clue, because Kurr always used ‘son’ when
he would speak to me.”
“Raze,” I say softly, placing my hand over his. “You are not Kurr.”
He laughs. “True, because I’m much worst.” He looks at me sideways, his face serious. “I’m serious,
Millie. I’m just not cut out for this shit. A dad? A fucking kid?”
 “You’re actually going to make a great father, Raze.”
That earns me another laugh. “How do you figure?”
“Because you know exactly how to not be a dad.”
He seems to mull over my words for a second, and then looks back to me. “Yeah, we’ll see.”
That’s progress. Yesterday, I didn’t have “we’ll see.”
When we finally pull into the driveway, I grasp the handle of the door and push it open. “I need to call
Bella.”
“Bella?” Raze asks, rounding my side of the car. “Why?”
I pause, shutting the door and thinking over what I should say next. What should I confess? Oh, yeah, I
forgot to mention Bella has been my doctor for the past three months while I was on the run. Raze
would fly off the handle, that’s for sure.
“Uh, because I need a doctor, Raze.”
He takes my hand in his, pulling me into him. “That’s true.” We’re walking up to the front door, when
Raze’s phone starts blaring in his pocket. Pulling it out, he swipes to answer, and I push open the door.
Walking into the foyer, he grabs my hand, halting me. I turn to face him and he points down to his
phone. “What? Is it for me?”
He shrugs and then walks down into the sitting room, where I can hear a roar of loud, testosterone-
filled laughter.
“Hello?” I answer.
“Millie?” It’s Amy. She sounds frantic.
“Yeah, hey, Amy? Are you okay?” I place my handbag on the table and walk into the kitchen. She still
hasn’t replied, so I look down at the phone briefly and then place it back to my ear. “Amy?”
“Yeah, sorry. Um, I think I’m in labor, and I don’t want to call an ambulance, because I don’t think it’s
an emergency. But my car is broken and I’m having a pretty bad day.”
I walk back to the foyer, picking up my handbag from the table again. “What’s your address?” I pull
open a drawer and take out a piece of paper and pen, scribbling down her location before hanging up. If I
tell Raze I’m going to take her to the hospital, there’s a chance he will make me take one of his merry men,
or worse, he’d want to come. I’m sure if Amy wanted him to be there, she would have told Raze herself
that she was in labor. I punch Amy’s number into my own phone and then walk into the sitting room, going
up to Raze, who is sitting on the sofa beside Soulless. I pause briefly at the look Soulless is giving me—
as usual—then hand Raze his phone back. “Here. I’m just going to go buy oils from the store.”
“Oils?” Raze asks, pushing his phone into his pocket. I can see a couple people shuffle around in my
peripheral.
“Yeah.” I brush him off casually. “You know, so I don’t get stretch marks.”
“What, you need to get that shit right now?” he asks, his eyes narrowing. “And what did Amy want?” I
keep my eyes on his.
“She just wanted to know if I had any recommendations on doctors.” Yeah, my excuses suck big, hairy
monkey balls.
He watches me closely, his eyes boring into mine. “Yeah, all right.”
“See you soon.” I turn and walk out the door, quickly beeping the truck, and just as I slide into the
driver’s seat, the passenger door swings open. I screech, my hand flying up to my chest.
“Chill, pumpkin. Like the boss would let you leave unprotected.”
“Get out!” I say to Joker, as he slips into the passenger seat.
“Um…” He pretends to mull over my outburst. “No?”
Sarcastic ass.
“Joker, you cannot come.”
“I have to come, Millie. What’s the big deal?” he asks, clicking his belt on. “I can do oils.”
 I rub my forehead and start the Range Rover. “You can come on one condition. Give me your phone.”
“Honey, I’m coming anyway.”
“Really?” I grumble under my breath. Reaching under my seat, I grasp onto the cold metal and swing
it up at Joker.
“Whoa!” He throws his arms up. “Pumpkin, you ain’t gonna shoot me.”
I cock the pistol and smirk. “Sure about that? Dead serious, I will pop you in the leg if you do not give
me your fucking phone right now.”
He narrows his eyes, tilting his head at the gun. “Why would Raze give you access to a fucking Desert
Eagle?”
I keep my eyes on him. “I don’t know and I don’t care. Give me your phone, or get out, or I will shoot
you.”
“Fuck.” He reaches into his pocket and tosses his phone onto my lap. I hold the heavy weapon with
one hand, keeping my eyes on his, and quickly shove his phone in my back pocket.
“Can you drop the gat now?” he asks, his eyes wide.
I grin, lowering the gun and placing it into my handbag before sliding it under my chair.
“Jesus,” he whispers, shuffling in his seat.
I drive forward, turning the stereo on to ignore the awkward silence that falls between us. Once we hit
the highway, he turns to me. “Guess we ain’t going to get oil.”
“Nope,” I answer, popping the P. “We’re going to take Amy to the hospital.”
Pulling up to what looks like an old, rusted motel, I bring the car to a stop and reach down for my
phone.
“THIS THE RIGHT PLACE?” JOKER asks.
I look around, seeing the poverty spoiled area. The apartment block Amy is living in looks like it used
to be an old motel. The M is missing on the word “motel” and the first thing I hear once I’ve killed the
radio is the crying of babies, the arguing of couples, and the screeches of scrapping cats.
“Yeah,” I say, reaching for the door and picking up my handbag. The group of young thugs sitting on
the stairwell on the other side of the units watches me carefully. Probably wasn’t smart pulling up in a
Range Rover. They watch me closely, until Joker rounds my side, and then they quickly look away. Maybe
it wasn’t a bad thing that Joker came, saving me from shooting someone.
“Millie,” Joker breathes. “You are going to get me killed.”
“What?” I chuckle, looking down at the unit number on my phone. “By these little thugs?”
He snorts, taking my hand and helping me walk. I swat his hand away. I’m pregnant, not crippled.
“You and I both know who I mean.”
Reaching room 114, I knock on the peeling wood door, and it swings open with Amy hunched over.
Her hair is plastered to her sweaty face and her eyes are slammed shut.
“Ohh, this doesn’t look good,” Joker mutters carefully.
“Amy.” I walk inside and Joker follows, closing the door behind us.
The room is a single studio room, with an old box TV sitting on a table opposite the bed. There’s a
crib set up next to the bed, and even though the room and environment is obviously so terribly run down,
you can see the effort Amy has put into making the best out of her situation. She has a diaper stacker
beside the crib, with little boy clothes carefully folded beside it, and there’s a plum shaggy rug that covers
the stained carpet underneath.
Amy folds over again, and I slip her arm behind my neck carefully. “Amy? Is that another
contraction?”
“Fuck, fuck,” Joker cusses in the background, pacing up and down the small area beside the bed.
Coming out of it, she nods her head and stretches her back. “Yeah, they’re only a couple of minutes
apart and it burns. Everything burns. I think it’s too late.” I palm her cheek, my eyes softening. “It’s okay.
We can get you set up on the bed and we’ll call the paramedics.”
Nodding her head, she takes a step toward the bed just as another contraction hits and she screams,
drowning out the TV show that’s blaring in the background.
“Joker! Call 911 and get some towels, warm water, and”—I look around—“lots and lots of pillows.”
He rubs his forehead. “Give me my damn phone, pumpkin!” I take his phone out of my back pocket
and toss it toward him. He hits the numbers and gets someone right away. While Joker talks on the phone,
I hurry around and collect all the towels and pillows I can find, as well as a warm bowl of water.
Running everything back to her, Joker is still on the phone when she hunches over the bed.
“Millie!” she yells. “I need to push!”
“Oh fuck!” Joker grunts into the phone. “Yeah, she needs to push.”
I run toward her. “Amy? You’re going to need to lay down, honey.” She pulls her underwear off and
hitches up her sundress, shaking her head. “I don’t want to. I need to sit up.”
I can hear Joker recalling everything to the paramedics, and he runs into the bathroom, coming back
out with hand sanitizer. “Wash your hands!” he says urgently, tossing the bottle at me. Amy continues to
hyperventilate in the background.
“It’s okay,” I say to her. “Everything’s going to be fine.” Pumping some of the clear liquid into my
palms, I rub it between my fingers.
“Millie!” she screams, and then her face turns purple and her eyes scrunch.
“Shit.” I kneel directly in front of her, and Joker puts the phone on speaker.
“Okay,” the woman on the other end of the call says. “Usually, it takes more than one push.” Amy
huffs, her panting coming in shallow. “Now, on the next contraction, Amy, I want you to push again.
Millie, could you please check if you can see the head?”
“Okay.” I look to Amy for approval and she nods her head. Peeking under, I gasp. “Holy shit, the head
is right there.” All color leaves my face. That looks more painful than I ever imagined. Not something I
particularly wanted to see when I myself was a few months away from being in the same position.
“Another one!” Amy spurts, just before she starts pushing again, her face blowing up like a balloon as
she bears down, attempting to do one of the most natural things in the world.
Suddenly, I’m feeling a little emotional. This is Miles’ baby that’s about to be born, and I can almost
feel his presence filling the room. A warm mist shimmies over my skin, something filling me with
confidence. I smile. “Okay, we got this, Amy.”
“Paramedics aren’t far. Some women push for hours.”
Amy huffs, leaning over the bed as she brings herself down from her pushing. Her shoulders start
jolting, as she wails, “I can’t do it. I can’t. It’s too sore. I can’t do this. I have no one. I can’t do this.
Screw you, Miles fucking Cavendesh!” She lays onto her back, propping herself onto her elbows.
I touch her arm. “Amy? It’s going to be okay. You have me—”
I’m cut off by her screaming out as she pushes again with tears streaming down her face.
“Millie, I need you to insert your finger inside and check to see if the cord is wrapped around the
baby’s neck,” the woman on speaker instructs.
“Amy,” I say. “Honey, lay down so I can check to make sure your baby is okay.” She looks at me,
sweat trickling over her face and tears strewn over her skin. Nodding, she lays back slowly. I look over
my shoulder and point to the other side of the room. “Get over there, Joke, and turn around.”
He throws his hands up and runs to the other side of the room. “Ain’t gotta tell me twice.”
What? Someone who can peel a man’s flesh off his bones with his very hands but can’t stand the sight
of childbirth? Pussy. I’ll give him shit about this later.
I smile at Amy and quickly slip my index finger inside of her, feeling around the slippery little neck of
the baby.
“There’s something around his neck!” I yell, panic rippling through me.
“What!” Amy screeches.
“It’s okay. It’s okay, keep calm. Millie, all you need to do is gently slip it over the back of his head.
Quickly, before she hits her next contraction.” Swiftly, I slip the rubbery tube over the baby’s head
successfully.
“Okay, it’s done!”
 “Okay, Amy, next contraction, I want you to push really hard, okay?” the woman prompts.
She nods, and I grab a clean towel and pat her knee with my other hand, some sort of survival instinct
kicking in. “It’s going to be okay. Look at me, Amy.” She looks at me, and her panting becomes more
panicked. I look at her, really look at her. “You are going to be okay.” Her shoulders slacken lightly and
she nods, right before a hell-raising scream that could wake the dead rips out from her.
“That’s it! Keep pushing, Amy. He’s coming. He’s almost there!”
Her scream turns into a deep growl of pain just as the baby slips out in a gush of liquid, and a loud cry
rips through the atmosphere. Tears pour down my cheeks as I quickly wrap the towel around him, picking
him up and placing him in Amy’s arms.
“Well done, honey.” I can’t stop the tears. “He’s stunning.” Leaning back on my butt, lights begin
flashing around the dimly lit room and I look out the window just as a shadow passes it. Getting up off the
floor, Joker is instantly at my back as I reach for the doorknob, yank it open, and step out into the fresh
dewy night. I look from left to right but see no one.
“You okay?” Joker asks from behind me, his lip curled, ready for battle.
“Yeah,” I mutter. “Yeah. It doesn’t matter.” I watch as the medics come out of the ambulance and hurry
toward the room, clutching their gear.
“She’s in there.” I step away, letting them inside. They walk in and, within seconds, have her and the
baby on a gurney. As she wheels past, I kiss her on the forehead. “We’ll come and see you both
tomorrow.”
She nods. It’s as though a light shines around her now. “Thank you so much, Millie.”
I smile, and just like that, they’re gone in a whoosh.
“Shit,” I say to Joker, walking back inside the apartment to clean up for her. The last thing she’ll want
to do is clean when she comes home.
“Shit is right.” Joker closes the door behind him. “I need to call Raze.”
I roll my eyes. “I’ll do it. He’s probably gonna”—I fling my hands in the air—“flip out.” Dialing
Raze’s number, I see Joker take a seat on the sofa and I click my fingers. “Hey! Get up and clean.”
“Where the fuck are you?” Raze snaps after the first ring.
“I’ll explain when I get home. We won’t be long.”
“No, explain this shit now. Fuck, Millie, I was about to put a fucking Code Red on your head.”
My mouth closes. What the hell is a Code Red?
“Okay, I’ll ignore that for now. Amy went into labor, and she called me to take her to the hospital.
Only when we got here, she was ready to push.”
Silence. “And you couldn’t tell me this, why?”
“Well,” I say, thinking over his question. “I can’t remember why I didn’t want to tell you, but I will.”
“I’ll be there soon.”
“Raze, you don’t need to come here. We won’t be long.”
“I said I’ll be there soon, and Millie?”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t ever fucking do that again.”
Hanging up my phone, I turn to Joker, who is still sitting on the couch. “He’s mad.”
Joker laughs, standing and walking toward me with a smile on his face. “Pumpkin? He could be
fucking raging angry, but if there’s one person he will never take it out on, it’s his queen.”
I smile weakly. “Thanks.”
He walks around me and begins picking up the towels, throwing them in a laundry basket.
“Joker?” I ask, turning to face him. He pauses, towel in midair.
“Yeah?”
“What’s your real name?”
 He stops, a sly smile spreading across his cheeks. “How do you know it’s not Joker?”
“Because.” That’s all I’ve got.
“What if my parents were just creative with names?”
“Humor me.” I smile at him.
He chuckles, turning back around to pick up the pillows. “Promise not to laugh?”
“Why would I laugh?”
“Promise me you won’t laugh!” he repeats, this time with a tickle of a smirk on his lips.
“Fine, I promise.”
“It’s Jonny D.”
“Why would I laugh at that?” Rolling my eyes, I walk toward him and pick up the warm bowl of
water.
“Because people usually do.”
I shrug, walking the bowl to the bathroom. “Nothing wrong with Jonny. I prefer it to Joker.” Bright
headlights illuminate the room and I drop the empty plastic bowl to the floor. “Here goes.”
The door swings open and Raze instantly finds me. “You!” He points. “Get in the fucking car.”
“Um, no, Raze. I’m going to clean up for Amy, so she doesn’t have to do it when she gets out of the
hospital. With Miles’ baby!”
His chest rises and falls. “Millie,” he repeats calmly, “get in the fucking car right now.” He points to
Joker. “You stay right the fuck there.”
“Wait a minute!” I walk toward Raze. “It’s not his fault!” The door to the room is still open, so I don’t
want to cause a huge scene, considering it’s almost midnight. “I took his phone so he couldn’t call you.”
Raze looks like he’s counting in his head, practicing his calm breathing. “How the fuck did she
manage to take your phone, Joke?”
“Well, Raze, since you asked so nicely, your wonderful lady here fucking pulled up on me.”
Raze’s eye twitches. “You what?” I roll my eyes. “Millie! Stop fucking cleaning. I’ll call someone to
come and do it. You’re fucking pregnant too, so get your fucking ass in the car now!”
“Fine!” I huff, dropping the towel to the floor and storming toward the door. Walking out into the inky
night, I pause, a slither of chills running up my spine. The wind gusts through my hair, and a familiar feel
to the breeze seeps into my pores. In a second, my head snaps to the left, ignoring the line of doors, and
track down to the end of the dark walkway. I squint my eyes, and when I make out the lining of a sleek
black limo hidden in the dark shadows, my shoulders square and my hackles rise.
“Raze?” I whisper urgently, but the limo pulls away slowly until it’s gone.
“What?” He walks up behind me, the mountain of a man he is instantly soothing my racing heart.
“There was a car.”
“What?” he repeats, walking to the side of me and following my eyes to where the limo was.
“Where?”
“There.” I point. “It was a black limo. Pulled off slow, so it didn’t care that I saw it.”
His eyebrows draw together. “Do you remember anything else about it?”
I shake my head. “No. It was just a black limo. But what would one be doing in this neck of the
woods?”
“Joke? Let’s go. You drive the Range Rover.” Raze hooks his arm around my neck and leads me
toward the Ferrari. He pops open my door and guides me into my seat before rounding the front and
slipping into the driver’s seat. Roaring it to life, we skid out of the parking lot and Raze drops it into
second, redlining down the road.
“Raze? What are you doing?”
“Someone was watching you, someone I don’t know. I need to know who the fuck that someone is.”
“Shit,” I whisper, gripping onto the door handle.
 “What?” he bites out, and I flinch.
“Earlier tonight, right after Amy had the baby, there was this shadow or something that passed the
window. I blew it off after I checked outside, but now that I think about it, it was strange. It could be
nothing.”
“It wasn’t nothing,” he growls.
“Raze, you can’t catch them.”
“What? I’m not trying to chase them, Millie. You think I’d pull that shit with you in the car?” He looks
to me, the fast passing of all the highway lights flashing across his beautiful face and chiseled jaw. “No.
The fucking answer to that is no.”
He looks back to the road and drops it into fourth. “I’m taking you home.”
“Do you know who it could be?”
He flexes his jaw. “Yeah, I have an idea.”
“Care to share?”
He pauses, and just when I think he’s not going to say anything, he opens his mouth.
“THE ARMY WAS JUST ONE branch off a very large tree trunk.”
I narrow my eyes. “What do you mean?”
He exhales. “There are seven Army bases around the globe. One for every continent.” He shifts into
third and floors it. “I run the base in South America too though. They go under us.”
My eyes shut, overwhelmed by this new information, and terrified. This organization is a lot more
than I ever thought.
“Is this new development, or have you always known this?”
“Oh, this is old information.”
“So this trunk,” I quote with my fingers. “Who is that?”
He breathes evenly, but I can feel his anger radiating off him. “The Syndicate.”
“The Syndicate,” I repeat under my breath. “Just when I thought The Army was one little undercover,
sick organization, you tell me there’s a big mama bear. One that fucking roars?”
He laughs. “Yeah, babe. It’s why I never wanted to step into Kurr’s shoes. Never wanted to be a part
of this shit.”
“So walk!” I yell, turning my body toward him.
“I can’t just fucking walk, Millie. This is bigger than even me.”
“Fuck.” I slump into my chair. “So what the hell were they doing outside Amy’s apartment?”
His jaw clenches again, and he squeezes the steering wheel. “Don’t know.”
But even as he says those words, I have a feeling he knows. He knows more than what he’s telling me,
and that makes me edgy, because Raze hardly ever keeps shit from me if I ask. If he doesn’t want to tell
me something, or if he can’t, that’s exactly what he would say. He’d never lie. This, however, is a plain
lie, and it… hurts.
“Well, take me home then so you can”—I gesture with my hands—“sort your shit out.”
I SLAM THE CAR DOOR, fishing my phone out of my pocket. After dropping Millie off at home, I drove
down the darkest alley I could find on this side of Vegas, and dialed.
“Well, well, w—”
“The fuck are you playing at?” I cut him off.
“What? What am I playing at? Where are you? Are you far?” he asks.
“You wanna come here now? Hmm? ‘Cause it’s highly likely I’ll knock you the fuck out.”
“Yeah, yeah. Where are you?”
I give him the details and hang up, putting my phone in my pocket. Leaning against the car, I wait for a
while. Ten minutes pass, and he still hasn’t shown. Twenty minutes later, headlights shine down the
alleyway and I stand from where I was leaning. The car stops, and I watch as he gets out of the back. His
dark shadow stands in front of the headlights.
“The fuck took you so long?” I grunt.
“Well, it takes you at least twenty minutes to calm the fuck down. I don’t feel like getting blood on my
suit tonight, Raze.” He steps forward and his face comes into view.
“Yeah?” I mutter, “My fuze is a little shorter these days. Get in my fucking car. We need to talk.”
“About…?”
“Get in the fucking car.” I point toward the passenger door and he rolls his eyes, slipping out a few
swear words.
I get into the driver’s seat and turn to face him. “Was that you tonight?”
“Tonight? I mean… I was at, and in, a lot of places tonight, Raze.” He grins at me.
“Don’t try to be charming with me. I will clip your fucking jaw.”
“Yeah.” He laughs. “Yeah, it was me. Why?”
“Why?” I raise my eyebrows. “And just who the fuck do you think you are, walking around? We had a
fucking deal. Why the fuck are you out in public, in Vegas, and a fucking foot away from Millie?”
“Wait a minute. How the fuck is this my fault? I didn’t sign up for this shit either!”
I close my eyes and start counting to ten. “None of us fucking signed up for this.”
“I wanna see her.”
“Who? Amy? No.”
He looks at me, his dark eyes boring into mine. “You and I both know I don’t mean Amy.”
“Raze!” I yell down the hallway. After no reply, I roll my eyes and push off the floor, where I am
attempting to pack my hospital bag. Walking down the stairs, clutching my lower back, I pull open the
bedroom door and walk down the hallway. Joker walks out of his room, eating potato chips. I narrow my
eyes at him. “Where’s your God?”
He sucks his finger and grins at me. “Hmmm? Oh, I don’t know. Church?”
I roll my eyes again and make my way downstairs. Pulling my handbag off the table beside the front
door, I take out my phone and dial him. No answer. Which is not like him at all. Looking at my sister’s
name, I walk into the kitchen, dialing her instead.
“Hi!” Melissa says breathlessly.
“What were you just doing?” I ask, pulling out the kitchen stool and taking a seat.
“Um. Nothing. What do you want anyway? You never call me.”
“Thanks,” I reply blandly. “I have something I need to tell you.”
“Oh?” She giggles in the background. “What’s that?”
“Can you not.”
“Not… what? Love my man?”
“Gross.”
“Okay, okay, sorry.” A door shuts. “Okay! What’s up?”
“I’m pregnant.”
“What!” she screeches. “How? What? When? What the fuck?”
“Calm down.” I massage my temples. “By getting fucked five ways from Sunday, almost five months
ago, here, possibly while being shackled to Raze’s bed.”
“Jesus!”
“I’m happy, Melissa.”
“Is this why you did a runner for all those months and wouldn’t let me see you?”
“Basically. I just… I’m sorry for not telling you, but I couldn’t risk you knowing. If by any chance
Raze got his hands on you, he would know if you were lying and keeping something from him. I couldn’t
risk it.”
“No, no, I totally get it. Shit,” she whispers. “I’m going to be an aunty?” I can hear her voice hitch up
with excitement.
I exhale a defeated breath I didn’t know I was holding. “Yes.”
“Eeeek! This is amazing! I’ll be up there tomorrow!”
“Melissa, wait!”
“No, Millie! Shut up. Shit is about to change. No more running off and not facing your crap. I will be
up there tomorrow, and I want Raze there too.”
I sigh, leaning back on my stool. “Okay. See you tomorrow.” Then she hangs up, and I place my phone
onto the breakfast bar, my hands coming up to my face. “Shit.” I love my sister, but she can be over the top
at times, and I’m still unsure how she’s going to react to Raze. She can be unpredictable, to say the least.
The front door opens, and I wrap my silk robe around myself, tying the front and shuffling off the
stool.
“Hey.” I smile at Raze as he walks in, closing the door behind himself.
 Removing his tie, he throws it onto the side table and walks toward me. “Hey. We need to talk.”
“What, right now?”
He looks down to my stomach, thinking over something before bringing his eyes back up to mine.
Smiling, he brushes me off. “Naw, it can wait.”
“Bu—”
He scoops me into his arms and cradles me into his chest. I wrap my arm around his neck and lean my
head on his shoulder. “You need to stop walking up and down these stairs, baby.”
I giggle, pulling away enough to find him being completely serious. “How am I supposed to get to the
fridge if I can’t come downstairs?”
He smirks. “Is that all you love me for?” He mocks being hurt as we land on the top step and he walks
us down the hallway. “My food?”
I shrug slowly, smirking. “Eeeehhhh….”
His face dives into my neck as he kicks the door closed behind us. “I’ll fucking show you food.”
I laugh, throwing my head back and clutching my belly. “Don’t make me laugh!”
“What?” He looks at me worriedly. “Why?”
“Because I might pee!”
His face relaxes, and it’s the first time since he found out we’re having a baby that I understand how
he’s acting. He’s being protective over me being pregnant. He’s always been protective over me, but with
this pregnancy… this is the first time he’s shown interest in it.
THE NEXT MORNING, I’M MAKING waffles in the kitchen, when Joker walks in with a piece of toast hanging
out of his mouth. “You going to see Amy?”
I clench the waffle maker down. “This morning. Wanna come?”
He shrugs. “Yeah, I’ll come.”
Raze walks in after working out, coming straight to me and dropping a sloppy kiss down on my lips.
“Where you going?”
“To the hospital.” I pull my waffles out and watch as his back tenses, reaching into the fridge and
taking out a bottled water. “You want to come?”
He takes a drink, shaking his head. “I got shit to handle. You need to rest though. You shouldn’t be on
your feet.”
I take a large bite. “It’s Miles’ baby, Raze. The last part of him I—we—have left. Why are you
pushing this away?”
“I’m not pushing it away.”
“You are.”
“Oh dear,” Joker says, grinning from the other side of the room. “Mommy and Daddy are fighting
again.”
“I’m not fucking pushing anything away. You want me to come? Fine, I’ll fucking come.”
“Thanks, baby!” I yell, as he walks up the stairs. He mutters something under his breath and Joker
laughs, his arms crossing in front of him. I walk to the cupboard, taking out the maple syrup, and then pull
open the freezer to get the large tub of Ben & Jerry’s out.
“Ice cream for breakfast?” Joker chuckles. “Really?”
I scoop large spoonfuls of it onto my waffles while watching him with a bored expression. “Yes,” I
hiss, squeezing ample amounts of maple syrup on top.
“That’s just….” Joker shakes his head. “Raze!” he yells at the top of his lungs. “Your woman has lost
the plot! She’s eating ice cream for breakfast!”
Taking an overly large bite, I moan in approval. “Mmm, so good!”
“That is disgusting. You know your man is the most athletically built human I have seen, right? He will
not approve of that shit.”
“He is, yes, but I’m not, and I think that’s clear. And anyway, asshole, I’m pregnant.”
“See?” Joker walks toward me. “That’s the problem with you pregnant women. You think all is okay
because you’re pregnant, but then after you have the baby, you moan about your weight.”
 “Are you calling me fat, Joker? Because my buddy Miss Desert Eagle—yes, she’s a woman, so she
won’t appreciate your sexist comment—is still sitting in my handbag. Only this time, I won’t shoot you in
your leg. I’ll shoot you in your dick.”
“Wow! No! That’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying”—he takes the plate of diabetes away from me
slowly, like you would take a toy away from a screaming toddler—“that maybe you shouldn’t be eating
this.”
“Leave her the fuck alone, Joker. Baby, go get changed.”
I give him a smug smile and poke my tongue out at Joker. “My man loves me anyway, so fuck you.”

Walking down the maternity ward of Summerlin, we finally find Amy’s name on the door. I knock a
couple times, and Amy calls, “Come in!” Pushing the door open, Raze follows in behind me, closing the
door after Joker.
“Hey,” I whisper.
She smiles, leaning up off her bed. “Hi!”
I look down to the little crib beside her bed and smile. “Asleep?”
She nods. “Yeah.” Taking a drink of water, she tells us, “Babies sleep a lot. I can’t believe I’m
actually saying this, but I’m bored. Sore, but bored.”
I chuckle softly as Raze and Joker take a seat on the visitor’s chairs on the other side of the room.
Amy looks to them and smiles at Raze before looking to Joker. “Thanks for helping Millie last night.”
Joker grins. “No problem.”
I walk toward the little crib and take a seat on the edge of her bed. “Oh wow,” I whisper, my throat
clenching. Pull it in, Millie. “I’m sorry,” I laugh, swiping the tears off my cheeks. Raze stands from his
chair and is beside me in a flash. “It’s just….”
“He looks like his dad already?” Amy answers for me.
“Yeah,” I chuckle. “Yeah, he does.” He has Miles’ thick dark hair and sharp nose. As far as newborn
babies go, I’d say he is the cutest I’ve ever seen.
“It threw me off a little too,” she laughs.
Raze looks down to the crib, and something flickers in his eyes. It’s not something soft and pure.
It’s… anger.
“Excuse me.” He walks out the room, and Joker looks to me with wide eyes before jackknifing up
from the chair.
“I better go”—he hitches his thumb over his shoulder—“check on that.”
“Sorry,” I say, looking back to Amy. “I seriously don’t know what his problem is.”
She waves her hand. “It’s fine. He lost Miles, too. I get his pain. Truthfully, it hurts to look at my own
baby, because he looks like his father so much, at such a young age too. It chills me to think how much
he’s going to look like him as he gets older.”
I want to comfort her and tell her that Raze will come around, but truthfully, I don’t think he will. I
was riding on him pulling himself together once he laid eyes on the baby, but no such luck.
Opting to change the subject, I ask, “So did you decide on a name?”
She leans back on her bed. “Miles Jr., but I think he’ll just be called Junior.”
“Or Little J.” I grin at her.
“Little J?” she asks, her head tilted in question. I do wonder at times how much she knew Miles. I, for
one, know Miles wouldn’t have liked a name like Junior. He’d want something with a little bit of punch.
I shrug. “Just a thought.”
I stand back. “I better head off. My sister is coming over tonight, possibly to grill my ass about
keeping my pregnancy from her.” I shake my head with a scoff. “But if you need anything at all, call me.
When do you get out of here?”
 “Thank you. We can go home tomorrow. They just want to keep an eye on me, because I lost a bit of
blood when I got here.”
“Okay.” I lean down and kiss her on the head, and then plant a soft kiss on Little J. He smells like
crisp innocence, and I almost choke when I have to pull away.
“All right, baby,” Raze says from the open door. “Let’s go. Bye, Amy.”
She waves at him, and I drag myself away from Little J. Walking out of the hospital with both men on
either side of me, I look up to Raze. “I really wanted to keep him.”
“What?”
“Think of Miles, Raze. The hell is wrong with you?” I storm off in a huff toward the car. He watches
me, his jaw clenching and his fists squeezed.
Once we get back to the house, I step out of the car, still in a huff, and walk toward the front door. I’m
not ready to talk to him yet. I can’t believe how irrational he’s being about this baby. It’s inhuman. He and
Miles were brothers, so why is he being such a shit about this child?
I walk into the kitchen, passing Viking and Angel as Raze and Joker follow in behind me, and open up
the fridge. My phone vibrates in my pocket just as I twist the lid off my water bottle. “Hello?”
“Hey, sis, we’re on our way up!”
“Okay. Just a warning, there’s tension.”
“Uh oh.” She laughs. “Trouble in gangster’s paradise?”
“You could say that,” I mumble, running my hand over my bump. “See you soon.”
“YOU REALLY GONNA GO THE whole night without talking to me?” I grin at Millie.
She ignores me, looking to Joker before asking, “Why are we watching NBA?” I reach out to her
hand, pulling her into my lap. “Stop.” She presses on my chest.
I lay kisses on her arm, trailing up to her neck. “Baby? Why are you so mad?”
“Because you’re a heartless shit, that’s why.”
I chuckle, the vibration pressing against her skin. Biting down on her earlobe, I grit, “But, babe, you
already knew that.”
Just as she’s about to answer, the doorbell rings and then the door swings open. I don’t even have to
second-guess who would be game enough to step into this house without waiting for an invitation. Fucking
Melissa. I let Millie go, and she starts making her way toward the front door. I stand up from the couch,
walking slowly behind her.
“Oh my God!” Melissa’s hand flies up to her mouth.
“Don’t!” Millie warns her, her hand going up to Melissa’s. “I swear to God, if you say anything about
my weight, I will shoot you.”
“Hey!” Hella walks in behind Melissa, with Beast following closely behind. “You won’t be shooting
anyone.”
I nudge my head at Beast. “Family reunion?”
Beast laughs as Millie takes her down to the sitting room, with Melissa’s hand protectively on her
sister’s stomach. Just as they’re about to drop down to the sofa, Melissa turns to me. “You and I are going
to talk later.”
I ignore her and look to Hella. “No offense”—I narrow my eyes at him—“but control your woman.
I’m not one of your patch members, so I owe you nothing. She’ll need to watch her mouth.” I look to
Beast. “You here for a reason?”
“Yeah,” he mutters, squaring his shoulders. “We need to talk about Shelby.”
I grin, guiding my hand toward the door that leads down to the meeting room.
Once we reach the bottom of the stairs, I pull out my seat and gesture to the rest of them for Beast and
Hella to sit.
Beast taps his fingers on the seat. “You tell me what you know about Shelby,” he pauses, “and you
have my word, and my vote. I know that doesn’t mean shit to you, but it means a fucking lot with my club
that I will back you in any war.”
That’s all I really wanted. There’s not much else his club can offer me that I don’t already have, so
manpower would have to do, and let’s face it, I can always use manpower.
I nod, satisfied with his offer. “Shelby,” I begin, sitting back into my seat, “is protected at the
moment.”
“By who?” Beast growls.
“By The Syndicate.”
“The what?”
I narrow my eyes. “You don’t know about The Syndicate?”
“No. Who the fuck is The Syndicate?”
I begin explaining who they are and what their position is with The Army.
“So this Ikea chick, she has Shelby? Why?”
“Because Ikea was the woman who placed her in your club to begin with. See,” I say, leaning
forward, “you will never be rid of this world, Beast. You were born into it, and you will probably die
from it. You both will.” I look to Hella.
“So we stop them.” Hella shrugs, casually lighting up a cigarette.
I lean back into my chair. “We can’t.”
“What do you mean can’t?” Beast leans in closer.
“I mean there is no possible way that we or anyone could ever take down The Syndicate.” Lie.
There’s always a way, but I want to see how bad they want it.
Beast exhales, relaxing into his seat. “Do you have a plan?”
Yes. “Not really.”
“What’s it going to take for you to trust us?” Hella questions, butting out his smoke.
I chuckle. “I trust no one.”
“You gotta give me something here, Raze.” Beast raises his eyebrows.
“We can’t take them down. Ikea runs it. The position of CEO was handed down to her from her father.
She murdered him in cold blood for that position. We all know it. Just no one wants to question her. It’s
why she’s so young. But,” I add, grinning, “I mean, she’s rode on my dick before, and I gotta say, that juice
will be worth the squeeze. If you know what I mean.”
“So sleep with her and kill her?” Hella confirms, seemingly satisfied with this idea.
“Tsk tsk, use your head. If you kill her, there’s someone else ready to take her place. Someone who I
wouldn’t be able to manipulate. I’m saying, line someone up to get in her bed indefinitely. Someone who
is okay with worming his way in there. We will need an inside man with this.”
“And then what?” Beast scoffs.
“And then we take her fucking throne.”

The following two months went something like this: Beast, Hella, and Raze working on some top secret
project having to do with The Syndicate, and for the first time since Raze and I got together, he won’t
share any details about their plans. He said it’s too risky for me to know anything. Since I’m pregnant,
I’ve laid off him—when it comes to the business side of our life, anyway. With power comes enemies,
and even someone as powerful and untouchable as Raze still has enemies floating around the globe. That,
I am sure of.
Raze and I have settled on a name for our baby too. We both agreed on Iris, and he has more than
warmed up to becoming a father, which is a relief.
There’s a light knock on the door, and I place my butter knife down, wiping my hands and walking to
the front door.
Swinging it open, I smile. “Hey!” I step aside to let Amy and Little J in. I’m the only person who calls
him Little J. Everyone else calls him Junior. I don’t really know how Amy feels about my nickname, but I
figured if she had a problem with me doing it, she would say something.
“Hey! Sorry I’m late.” She hands me the baby and I take him with a smile, despite my large belly in
front of me. Amy looks down to my bump. “Or I can hold him?” I snatch him away playfully and close the
door.
“Hell no. This is my nephew.” Amy laughs, following me into the kitchen. “Aren’t you, buddy. Hey,
look what Aunty Minnie is making!” After finding out babies develop the N-sound before they can
develop the L, I decided to change my name to Minnie just for him. I’m hell-bent on having him say my
name as his first word. Just because I know it would piss his father right off if he knew.
“Aunty Minnie should be putting her feet up!” Amy says to me.
I wave her comment away. “Rest is for the weak.” I poke his little button nose. “And do you want to
know a secret, my little man?” I lean near his ear. “Aunty Minnie is a queen. She is not weak.”
I hand him back to Amy and get back to pouring batter into the little cupcake papers. “So how are you
holding up?”
“Good,” she replies, her knee softly jiggling under Little J. “Juggling a job and daycare is hard, but
I’m really lucky I have the girls down at Little Tots.”
“Well, my offer still stands.”
“Millie”—she shakes her head softly—“there’s no way I’m letting you watch my kid.”
I drop the spoon and look at her. “Amy, this is me. My way of trying to help out and be a big part of
his life.”
“I know, but you don’t need to offer that to be a big part of his life. We will be fine, won’t we?” She
looks down at Little J, and it’s then I realize she’s right. They will be just fine.

Early the next morning, I head back downstairs in search of some snacks. This little girl is going to be the
death of my fat feet.
After deciding on waffles, I set to making them. Raze is still not home, which probably didn’t help
with my struggling to sleep last night. But considering the whole property is secured, equipped with
Chucky and Bride—the two Dobermans Raze keeps on the property—and a handful of skilled guards, I
can’t really blame my lack of sleep on that.
Leaving my half-eaten waffles on the bench, I walk upstairs and stop outside Miles’ room. I haven’t
spoken to Raze about what he wants to do with this room, but I’m guessing he’s not ready to pack it up yet
or it would be done. Pushing open the door, I step inside, finding it exactly how I left it the last time I was
in here. You would think the more times I come in here it would get easier, but it doesn’t. His death has
fucked with my head in more ways than the dungeon ever did. Taking a seat on his bed, I look over to our
photograph that’s sitting back on his bedside table. Raze must have put it back, which means he’s been in
here. Picking it up, I feel a piece of paper behind it. My eyebrows knit together, and I flip the photograph
around. All the air inside me feels as though it gets punched out.
Shooting off the bed, I gasp, my hand flying up to my mouth. “Raze!” I scream out in frustration, even
though he’s not here.
“What!” He comes running into the room. He must have just got home, and he looks tired. His eyes
check over me before falling to what I’m holding in my hand. The Lucky Hundred.
His mouth slams shut. “Motherfucker.”
“RAZE.” I SPUN AROUND TO find Ikea watching me as she stepped over the fallen bodies.
“Leave me alone. I need to put my brother to rest,” I seethed, popping open the back of the van. I
needed to get Miles out of here and buried, so I could take care of Millie. It’s what he would have
wanted.
“One little problem with that plan, Raze,” she said, her guards stepping up beside her. Ikea
presented herself how she always did: immaculate suit, and platinum hair pulled into a high ponytail.
She had a sultry black widow vibe about her. She fucked like she held herself, like a fucking boss.
“And what’s that?” I snapped at her.
She looked down to Miles’ frozen body in the back of the van, and just as she opened her mouth,
hysterical coughing and spurting erupted from the back of the vehicle.
Everything stopped.
My heart, my hearing—nothing mattered. I saw nothing but Miles’ body come up from his dead
position. “Thought you got rid of me, fucker?” He grinned at me, ripping open his shirt until all the
buttons fell to the ground and removing his vest that had blood patches stuck to it.
Stepping back, anger rose inside of me and I launched forward, my fist connecting with his jaw.
“You motherfucker!”
He laughed, staying on his back. “‘Kay, I deserved that.”
“Raze!” Ikea snapped. “I need him.”
“What the fuck for? And why the fuck did you keep this from me? Hmm?” I stepped up to her, and
her two big minions stepped forward. In one movement, both my hands flew up to each of their throats
and I squeezed until I felt their esophagi crunch under my fingertips. My eyes remained on hers.
“Speak, Ikea. You may run The Syndicate, but I’ll be fucking damned if I let you come around here and
try to be boss bitch on my fucking soil.”
She smiled. “Love when you talk dirty, baby.” She walked toward me, her palm brushing against
my cock and her lips to my ear. Her tongue darted out and flicked down my neck. “Call me when
you’ve calmed down, and then we can talk.”
Throwing both guards down on the ground, I grabbed onto her ponytail and yanked her head back,
so her eyes had no choice but to look directly into mine. “Touch me again, you filthy bitch, and I’ll
fucking chop you into tiny pieces and feed you to my dogs.”
 She chuckled, tapping my hand. I let go roughly just as Miles jumped out of the van. “We,” I
pointed to both her and Miles, “will talk about this.” I looked to Miles, my eyes remaining on his.
Rolling a ball of saliva in my mouth, I spat it to the ground. “You fucked up. You and I both know she
won’t make it through losing you, you piece of shit.”
Miles’ smile fell instantly. “I have no choice, Raze. You’ll understand soon enough.”
“I highly fucking doubt that. Fuck off before I put a bullet through your chest myself.”
He spun around, his face broken, and walked with Ikea to her awaiting limo. Whatever the fuck he
has to say on why he had no choice will have to wait.
“Raze!” Joker yelled from the other side of the building. “There you are. What’re you doing back
here?”
I watched as the lights to the limo died off in the distance. “Nothing.”
“RAZE?” I QUESTION, HOLDING UP the hundred-dollar bill he gave Miles. “I know you didn’t put this here,
because you told me Miles still had it. What is this, and why is it here, and who moved the photo frame?”
He exhales, stepping toward me, and his hands fall to his side. “I really don’t want to have to do this
to you, baby. Not now.”
“Do… what?”
“Miles, he’s—”
“He’s what?” I ask, dumfounded. Nothing could have prepared me for what came next. Nothing at all.
“He’s still alive.”
“What?” I screech, clutching my stomach as a stabbing pain slices across it. My breathing comes in
faster, harder, my chest rising and falling. “How? Why? How could you do this to me, Raze? To us?”
“Baby, you need to calm down.” He steps toward me, his hands up in surrender. I can’t. Everything
closes in on me, my vision turning dark. “It’s a long story, and we can explain it to you soon. But right
now, I need you to calm down and breathe, baby. Breathe.” His eyes drop down to my belly. “Please
breathe, baby.”
“Fuck you!” I seethe, pushing him with all my strength. My visions blurs from the fresh tears that have
surfaced. He steps up to me again, gripping my wrists.
“You did this?” I whisper, my eyes scanning the floor. I look back up to him. “What did you do?”
“Fuck,” he mutters. “I didn’t fucking do this, Millie. This was planned before I knew what the fuck
was going on!”
I shove him, though he doesn’t move, and he looks at me, pained. “Babe, please calm down. The
baby,”
“Fuck you!” I scream again, launching out of the bedroom, tears streaming down my face, and my
heart pounding in my chest. I fly down the stairs and look from left to right, my eyes landing on the Ferrari
keys sitting on the tabletop. My jaw clenches as I walk over to them, snatching them up in my hand and fly
out the door.
Beeping the car, I slide in quickly, slamming the start button with my palm until the car purrs to life.
Miles is still alive? Shaking my head, I shift it into first gear and skid out on the loose gravel. I need to
clear my head. I need to be away from Raze and every fucking lie I’ve been told for the past several
months. Miles is still alive?
Tears pour out of my eyes as betrayal seeps into my pores. How could he lie to me? After everything
he’s shared, why did he think he couldn’t tell me about Miles? He watched me mourn for him. He watched
me shatter and break in front of his very eyes. And yet, he didn’t tell me?
Fuck. Him.
Slamming the gear into third, I floor it forward and onto the main road that leads me to the clubhouse.
I need my sister right now. I need her strong words of wisdom and her unreasonable reasoning. I need her
—
I look to the left, down a side street, just as a large, black pickup speeds toward me. Everything
pauses, my mouth widens, and my hair whips across my face, and that’s the last thing I remember before
the brief smashing of metal, and then everything turns black.
“WHERE THE FUCK IS THE GPS?” I bark into the phone.
“I know, I know, I got it, Raze, but it’s not showing anything. It’s like the car has gone off the radar.”
Drago panics. He’s one of the few tech nerds I have, but he’s the best.
I pinch between my eyes. “How the fuck can this happen?” I powerwalk down the hallway, clutching
my phone in my hand, and swipe up the keys to the Range Rover. Joker and Angel fall in step behind me
as I hurry out the front door.
“You won’t like the answer to that question.”
I pause, my hand on the handle of the car. “Spit it out, Drago.”
“Okay, well, this can only happen because of two things.” He pauses, clearing his throat. “One, she
has removed the GPS—which is behind the manifold under the hood—or two….” He pauses again, and I
swear to God I’ll choke him through this phone if he doesn’t spit it the fuck out. “Two, if there has been a
car wreck.” I suck in a breath, hanging up the phone and throwing it into the car.
“What?” Joker clicks his belt on.
I skid out of the driveway and try to squash any possibility of Millie or Iris being hurt. Yeah, so I
wasn’t hot on the idea of becoming a father at first—it was a lot to take in with my circumstances—but
over the months, I more than warmed up to the idea of becoming a dad. I’m ready for this with Millie, and
regardless of whether I had the risk of being a terrible father—though I would try my hardest not to be—
Millie is going to be a fucking incredible mother.
I shake my head at Joker.
“Man, she’d go straight to the clubhouse, no doubt,” he says, and he’s right. That’s exactly where she
would go. I floor it toward the main highway, turning onto the road that leads to the clubhouse.
“Holy shit,” Joker mutters, sitting up in his seat. There are paramedics everywhere and a line of cars
that are waiting. My gut instantly sinks, and I fling my belt off, swing the door open, and step out. Walking
toward the wreck, Joker steps out of the passenger side. “Yo! What’re you doing?”
I tilt my head at the mangled mess on the road, and when I make out the emblem on the trunk, I break
out in a sprint.
“Raze!” Joker yells, but everything is blacked out. All I see is my car and my pure rage.
“Sir!” One of the officers on the scene steps in front of me. I push him out of my way and run to the
driver’s window.
 “Sir!” he yells.
“That’s my fucking girl!” I yell, but I don’t get any closer, because the firefighters are right there, near
her door, cutting it off.
“Okay, I understand, but you’re going to have to let us do our job.”
I clench my jaw. Once they yank off the metal, displaying Millie, I drop to my knees and all the air
inside of me evacuates just as Joker and Angel run up behind me.
“SHE’S GOING TO BE OKAY, boss. This is Millie. She is the strongest, craziest, most stubborn female
walking this earth,” Joker tries to relax me. I clench my hair and try to calm my breathing. “This is my
fault. You fucking saw her, Joke! Don’t sugarcoat my bullshit!”
“Fuck that, man. It isn’t your fault.”
“I shouldn’t have told her.” I shake my head. “She… the baby… Iris….” I shake my head, clenching
my eyes closed as my heart contracts.
“Told her what?”
“Fuck.” I pull on my hair again and quickly get to my feet, pacing up and down the waiting room.
When the doors open to Melissa, Beast, Hella, Frost, Hannibal, and Meadow, I stop.
“Raze?” Melissa looks at me, her eyes welling up. I’ve never seen Melissa so broken before.
“Yeah,” I whisper, clearing my throat.
“Have you heard anything?”
I shake my head. “They’ve been gone for an hour.”
“My mom, she’ll be here later today.” Melissa takes a seat on the chair beside where I was sitting
earlier, and I drop back down.
“She was bleeding,” I growl, my eyes trained on the floor. I look to Melissa. “I’ve seen blood. I’ve
been the cause of blood, but that shit? That scared the fucking shit out of me, Melissa.”
She pats my knee. “I know. But she’s going to be okay.”
She fucking better be, because if she isn’t, I’ll take everyone down with me.
“Raze McKenna?” a doctor asks, walking down the long sterile corridor.
I stand quickly. “Yeah?”
He walks toward me, his glasses shading his tired eyes and his grey hair hanging like frizzled strands
off the top of his bald head. “Millie has suffered tremendously from her injuries….”
His voice floats out into the distance as my heart pounds against my chest frantically, and sweat slips
down my face. Rage. Pure, undiluted rage begins to boil inside me. My jaw clenches and my fists ball at
my sides. Bringing my eyes up to the doc, his words stop me. They’ve frozen me in time. “I’m so sorry,
Raze. The baby didn’t make it. We tried what we could—”
My fist launches into the drywall.
“What’s happening?” Melissa and Ella walk up to me, swiping their tears away just as security guards
start walking toward us. The doctor shakes his head at them until they retreat back to what they were
doing.
 “I’m sorry, Raze. There are doctors and support teams at your disposal, shall you need them.
Detectives will have to ask you a few questions regarding the accident—when you’re ready, of course.”
Melissa and Ella put two and two together before they both break into tears and go back to their seats.
“I’m ready now,” I growl. I lost the little girl I had fallen in love with, even though I hadn’t met her
yet.
“Okay,” the doctor says warily. “Officers are on their way—”
“What? Why?” I don’t know why, but I assumed the accident was caused from Millie speeding
erratically, but I should have known she wouldn’t do something like that to jeopardize Iris’ safety. She
was mad, but even when she’s foaming-at-the-mouth angry, she’s still calm and collected.
“Well,” the doctor continues, pushing his hands into the front pockets of his jacket. “Someone else
was involved in the accident. The detective will be here soon and will want to ask you a few questions.”
Clenching my jaw, I nod my head. “She is awake. Do you want to see her?”
“Yes.”
He starts leading me toward the room, and I fall into step behind him.
Opening it wide, he gestures into the sterile room and I walk in, closing the door behind me. I’m
truthfully at a loss for words, and I don’t know what I’m walking in on, but I know this is partly my fault. I
shouldn’t have kept it from her, but before I knew it, I had dug myself deeper and deeper. It became more
difficult to tell her the longer time went on, and now… now, I’ve lost my daughter, and quite possibly the
last bit of Millie that was actually still human.
As I swing the curtain open softly, she senses me entering, but her head remains turned toward the
window that overlooks the township below. Pulling the seat over beside her, I drop down. “I’m sorry,
baby.”
Out the corner of my eye, I can see her look toward me. “You’re sorry,” she repeats, her tone flat.
“You’re sorry?”
Here we go.
Shaking my head, I go to take her hand in mine, but she pulls it away. “I can’t do this with you right
now, Raze.”
“I’m here, Millie. I’m not going anywhere.”
“You don’t get it,” she sneers. “You don’t have to go anywhere for me to feel alone, Raze.”
Tears fall from her eyes and I stand from the seat, walking around to the other side of the bed and
sitting on the side of her bed. “Millie.” When she doesn’t look at me, I reach for her chin, but she pulls
away from my grip.
“This is my fault,” I whisper, and she doesn’t say anything.
Spinning around, I walk out the door, leaving her there.
 “An angel in the book of life wrote down my baby’s birth, and whispered as she closed the book,
‘Too beautiful for earth.’”
—Author Unknown

HOLLOW, SINKING SHADOWS SEEP BENEATH me, and my skin crawls from the unknown pain as blood rushes
through my eardrums.
“She’s gone. I’m so sorry for your loss.”
Sorry for my loss? I never understood why people say that. It’s so casual and has no substance behind
it.
“I’m sorry for your loss.”
It’s almost as if I’ve lost something mundane and average. Like a teddy bear.
“I’m sorry for your loss.”
I hate that saying.
Turning over on my side, I watch as Melissa sleeps curled up on the hospital chair and Raze sleeps by
my side. He left last night after we didn’t talk, or rather, I didn’t talk. I thought he would go out and get
drunk, drown his sorrows. I don’t know why I thought that. I had never seen Raze drunk before, but it was
the first thing that came to mind when he walked out the door, only he came back with a bag of chicken
nuggets and a dozen donuts. They’re still sitting on the table, untouched and uneaten.
Why should I eat? I don’t deserve to enjoy anything in life, much less food. Food my daughter will
never get to experience. I will never know what she would grow to look like or how she would be. Would
she have been like me, or like Raze? Would she have had my wavy mane, or Raze’s straight hair? Did she
have his grey eyes, or my green? I’ll never get to experience motherhood. I’ll never get to see Raze scoop
her up and melt in her very hands.
Swiping away the fresh set of tears that drop over my cheek, Raze opens his eyes and looks up at me.
“Hey.”
I smile softly, but it doesn’t reach my eyes.
Taking my hand in his, he presses a soft kiss in the palm of my hand. It’s a sweet gesture, but I can see
the torment in his eyes. He blames himself, when he shouldn’t. Yes, keeping Miles from me was a shitty
thing to do, but he didn’t force me into the car. He didn’t force that idiot to ram me from the side.
“Hi,” I reply softly, searching his eyes. “Raze—”
He shakes his head. “Don’t. Don’t. Okay? Just,” he gets up off the bed, “just don’t.”
“Raze, it’s not your fault.”
“Millie? Please.” He shakes his head pleadingly. “I deserve it.”
I inch up, my fresh C-section scar tightening and pulling as I move. I hiss at the sharp, stinging stabs
over my womb. Raze sees my discomfort and spins around, dropping back onto the bed. “Babe, sit still.
I’ll get you some meds.”
Shaking my head, I lie back down softly and check that Melissa is still asleep, but she’s not. She’s
staring right at me.
“Hey, sis.”
I smile. “Hi.” She gets up from her position and looks between Raze and me. “I’ll go. Give you guys
some space.” She stands, collecting her handbag and zipping up her hoodie. Bending down, she brushes a
light kiss over my forehead. “I’m here. Always.”
I nod. “I know. I love you.”
She smiles sadly, her eyes puffy and red. “I love you too.” Then she looks to Raze. “And you, big
guy.” Then she leaves.
I don’t waste time. “Raze, listen to me,” I whisper, and he pauses, running his hands over his unruly
hair. “This wasn’t your fault. I won’t let you beat yourself up about something you had no control over.”
“That’s where you’re wrong, Millie. I do deserve it. I deserve to live with this… this…,” he searches
for a word, but his hand comes up to his heart, “fucking pain for the rest of my life. She was ours. We
made her, and I failed her. I failed you too.”
“Raze!”
He shakes his head at me, a small, broken smile pulling across his mouth. “It’s okay, baby.” But it
isn’t okay. I can sense it right now that something is going to change from here on out. I’m not sure which
way it will fall, but I’m willing to do what I can.
“I’ll go and get some—”
He’s cut off by the door opening slightly. It’s not even 6:00 a.m., so visiting hours haven’t started yet.
When the shadowy figure of a hooded man enters, Raze goes flying across the room. The man grips his
hoodie and drops it around his neck.
“Hey, puddin’.”
I gasp, my heart—or what’s left of it—launching in my chest. “You motherfucker.”
He smiles sadly, and Raze calms down, backing up to my bed.
Miles walks toward me, and I have to fight the urge not to look at him for too long. His smile drops. I
notice his hair is trimmed quite short now. It no longer drops to his collar and is now styled perfectly
around his head. His brown eyes are still like molten lava cake, and his features and body are still the
same, if not a little bigger.
“I’m sorry, baby girl.”
More tears stream down my face and I shake my head. “Don’t.”
Miles steps forward, and Raze takes a seat on the foot of my bed. I don’t know what to say to Miles
right now, so I say the first thing that comes to my head.
“I cried for you,” I whisper, pulling my gaze away from both of them. “I cried every night for you.” I
look outside my window to the upscale buildings. “I thought I’d never see you again. Your lifeless eyes
were the final memory I had of you, and I thought I was done for. I’d cry myself to sleep in your room
while listening to your playlist,” I scoff, shaking my head. “I’d tell myself that I could feel your presence
every time I was in your room.”
I turn to look at him finally, only to find his face filled with pain. “Do you know what that’s like,
Miles? To see someone you love, dead on the ground, and then to mourn them for months, only to find out
they’re alive and that your tears didn’t mean shit?” I shake my head. “I’m not even mentioning Iris,
because I don’t think that’s either of your fault. But this,”—I point toward them—“what you’ve done is
your fault, and I don’t know when, or if, I’ll ever forgive you for it. But right now, I need to mourn my
daughter, someone who deserves my real tears.” I turn onto my side, this time ignoring the sharp stab that
digs into my fresh scar, and I keep my eyes on the ticking clock that is hanging on the wall.
“Love you, puddin’,” Miles whispers hoarsely, his breath hitching.
My eyes stay locked on the rotating hands. “Love you too.”
IF THERE’S ONE THING THAT a person should absolutely never have to do in life, it’s bury their own child.
Everything else has a name. A label, even. You lose a parent, you’re an orphan. You lose your husband,
you’re a widow. What do you call someone who loses a child?
I look around to everyone who came to pay their respects to our little girl, and my heart aches even
more. She had so many people who loved her already, yet she will never know.
Raze stands beside me, slightly in front, and Miles stands to my other side, slightly to the back.
Although I know Raze is hurting, he still hasn’t opened up to me, and it’s been three days. I’m hoping he
will come around eventually, so we can mourn her together, because at the moment, I feel alone. I know
that’s selfish, but I do. I don’t want anyone else’s company but Raze’s. Not my sister. Not Miles. Just
Raze. I feel like he’s the only person who can come close to filling the gap Iris has left in my life, because
she was ours.
The priest clears his throat. “I will now leave it open for family and close friends to share something
with the rest of us.”
I step forward, and Raze’s head snaps toward me, but I ignore him and walk toward the step and
microphone near the priest.
Inhaling a deep breath, I clear my throat. “I didn’t write a speech or anything, because I don’t think
there are enough words that could articulate the pain I feel right now.” I look to Raze to find his brows
pinched together. “But I wrote a poem.” I undo the golden envelope and pull out the black piece of paper
that has the poem written in gold ink. With shaky hands, already feeling my throat swell from emotions, I
read the poem I wrote the first night at the hospital.

“Holding out my empty arms, I wait for your first cry.

But the doctor just tells Mommy, ‘Sorry, your little girl has died.’
Mommy wants to hold you, and squeeze you every night.
I want to sing you sweet lullabies, and be your favorite sight.
I may not know your eye color, or your favorite toy.
I may not know what games you like to play,
Or build little hidden forts or caves.
But Mommy knows your heartbeat; it strums just like my own.
Because every breath I take now, won’t just be my own.”
 I clear my throat and place the piece of paper back into the envelope, wiping the tears from my
cheeks. I look toward her casket, the pure-white finish fit for an angel, and brush my hand over the
silkiness. Picking up a purple iris flower out of the pile we got delivered here, I place a soft kiss to it
before laying it down on the closed coffin.
Rubbing it gently, I whisper, “I’m sorry, baby.” I place the envelope on top of the flower, addressed to
The sweetest little angel, before finishing with, “I love you.”
Big arms wrap around my waist, and Raze pulls me into his chest. Turning in his embrace, I let the
flood of tears pour out of me, sobbing uncontrollably. He lays kisses on the top of my head. “I know, baby.
I got you.”
Eventually, I pull away from him, and he bends down, swiping the tears off my cheeks with his thumb.
“Fuck,” he groans, pulling me into him again and kissing me on the forehead.
He looks toward the coffin, and his face morphs into something deeper than pain. Something so much
more than just hurt. Looking over his shoulder, he nudges his head at Miles. Miles walks toward me
slowly, and I take his hand, letting him lead me back to where we were standing. Turning around, I see
Raze still in the same position, staring blankly at the casket. I can hear my mom sniffling beside Melissa,
with Ella beside her.
Raze takes a step toward the coffin, placing his palm on the top. He kneels down, picking up a flower
and bringing it to his lips. He kisses it softly and then places it on top of mine and the envelope, before
turning around and coming back to where we stand. He may not have said anything out loud, but his
silence is thunderous. He takes my hand in his, weaving our fingers together, and we watch as, one by one,
everyone picks up a flower and places it on top of her casket as it slowly lowers into the ground.
Beast and Ella walk toward Raze, and Beast gives him a knowing nod. They may not have known
each other long, but they are brothers. Even I can see, whether they like it or not, that they already have a
code of loyalty between them. Ella doesn’t hold back, throwing her arms around Raze. He freezes before
finally giving in and hugging her back.
I look to Miles as he wraps his arm around me. “Are you ready to go home?”
“I guess.”
“Perhaps they are not stars in the sky, but rather openings where our loved ones shine down to let us
know they are happy.”
—Author Unknown

IT’S BEEN EXACTLY ONE WEEK since we lost Iris, and although we’re still mourning, I have a ton of
questions that I need to be answered. Raze still hasn’t really opened up to me about Iris’ death, and every
time I try to confide in him, he shuts down and goes to lift weights. My mom told me that he will open up
when he’s ready and that you can’t judge how another person deals with their losses; it’s all a part of the
process. So, I leave it. I’ll leave it until he’s ready. I just hope it’s soon, because I don’t want him to hold
onto this for the rest of his life.
The police have been in touch, and they still have nothing on the person who ran a stop sign and then
drove off, leaving me there. All I could tell them was the make and color of the pickup.
Raze is waiting for me, pulling the door open that leads down to the basement. He takes my hand, and
slaps my ass with his other. “Come on, baby.”
Once we’re seated at the table, me on Raze’s lap, Miles comes rushing down the stairs. “Sorry, sorry,
sorry. Shit.”
Raze rolls his eyes, and Joker scoffs, “Some shit never changes.”
Miles narrows his eyes, and I look between Joker and him, picking up on the tension.
“Miles!” I click my fingers at him. “Take a seat, my monster.”
On my command, he looks toward me, and his features soften before he takes a seat on Raze’s right.
I look around the table to see The 6 seated, and Miles back at Raze’s side. It feels like… power. They
may be cold-hearted killers, but these men—aside from Soulless—are my family. They have been there
for me through everything this past week, and even before then, Joker and Angel had become like brothers
to me.
Raze starts. “Miles was taken by The Syndicate.” Joker sits back in his seat, his eyes wide. Raze
carries on. “Ikea, as I’m sure everyone here is familiar with her—”
“I’m not!” I squawk, turning on his lap gently.
His lip curls in a smirk. I love the way he looks at me during any meetings. If I ask a question, his
attention is on me completely, and other people seated around the table cease to exist. “You met her, baby.
She came over that day.”
My jaw tenses as a recollection of the tramp dressed in white comes back to me. “Right.”
“Wait,” Miles says, looking at Raze. “Why was she here? She shouldn’t be here, Raze.”
 Soulless scoffs. “She was bouncing on his dick not long ago, so—”
Miles jumps off his seat and flies across the room, catching Soulless’ throat in his hand.
I exhale softly, shaking my head, and Raze sits there grinning.
Miles tilts his head, examining Soulless. “Apologize to puddin’.”
I rub my forehead. “It’s fine, Miles. Put him down.”
“Yeah, Miles, sit down,” Soulless mocks.
I turn to see Raze’s eyes solid and his jaw clenched. The grin that was once there has been replaced
by simmering rage.
“Naw, baby girl. I’m thinking he needs to apologize or get the fuck out.” Miles must tighten his grip
around Soulless’ throat, because the once smug face he was holding has turned fearful.
“Raze,” I mutter under my breath. He doesn’t do anything, just watches closely. Looking around the
table, I see Angel, Viking, Joker, and Royal all watching Soulless and Miles with different expressions.
“You see,” Miles says to him, loud enough to gain everyone’s attention. “I remember a lot about what
happened at the Beehive. I know who comes in and out of those doors.” Soulless’ face turns purple. “One
hundred and seventy-six.” Miles grins, and I squirm on Raze’s lap. This isn’t going to end well. Miles has
his psycho eyes going on. “That number mean anything to you?”
Soulless shakes his head, gasping for air. Raze brings his hand to my upper thigh and caresses it with
his thumb.
“That’s how many times you walked in and out of Ikea’s office,” Miles whispers harshly, and then he
goes to flick his wrist, obviously to end his life, when I launch off Raze’s lap.
“Miles!” I squeak, and he stops. “Drop him. Now.” He still doesn’t release his hold. Jesus Christ. I
walk toward him slowly, bringing my hand to his arm. “Please,” I beg. “Too much death.”
Instantly, Miles unlatches his hand from his throat, throwing Soulless to the ground. He turns his head
to look over his shoulder. “Sorry, baby girl.”
I smile softly. “Sit down.” I didn’t have to ask what that was about. I know Miles and Raze wouldn’t
make a decision unless they were absolutely positive that someone was trying to jeopardize the family or
Raze’s position.
Raze looks up at Miles. “Still hungry?”
Miles squeezes his fingers together and smirks. “Little bit.”
“Okay, so as you were saying….” I look to Raze.
“The Syndicate has been holding Miles,” Raze continues, as Soulless gathers himself and takes a seat
back in his chair.
“Why?” Joker asks, blazing up his cigarette.
“Because Ikea thinks I can be a tool for her to use against Raze,” Miles says casually.
“But surely she knows your loyalty has and always will be with Raze?” I ask.
Miles nods. “She does,” he looks to Raze, “but that’s exactly what she was using to keep me there.”
“What do you mean?” I search his eyes, confused.
Miles catches me staring at him, and his eyes darken as his lip kicks up in a grin. “See something you
like, puddin’?”
I smirk. “Just thinking.”
“About?” he baits me, leaning forward slightly.
“Fantasizing.”
“Oh?” He quirks his head, excitement clear in his tone. “Do share.”
“About what I’m going to do to you both once we’re alone.” I tap Raze’s leg.
Miles’ smirk turns into a full grin. “Damn, still got the kink, huh?”
“If by kink you mean choke you out, then yes, I still have the kink.”
Angel laughs, shaking his head. “Man, I don’t envy you at all with these two,” he says to Raze,
pointing to Miles and me.
“Back to the topic,” Raze growls, already over our shit.
“She needs him, and is using me and you to keep him,” Miles explains.
“Me?” I say, taken aback. “What have I got to do with it?” I’m already ready to pop some pills and go
to bed. I’m not physically tired, but emotionally, I feel drained. Drowning in everything. But business is
business, and if these two are going to be having meetings, I’ll be here every time to make sure I don’t get
left out of the loop ever again.
“She knows what you mean to me, puddin’.” Miles leans back in his seat.
“So why couldn’t either of you tell me about you being alive? Why the secrets?”
Miles shakes his head. “It wasn’t supposed to be a secret, but this dick,” he points toward Raze, “dug
himself too deep. I was always supposed to be dead for everyone else though, but I didn’t have to be dead
to Raze and you. Raze didn’t know at the time, but Ikea wanted everyone to think I was dead, so she could
see who would be the first to try to take the throne from Raze.”
Shaking my head, I lean into Raze’s chest. “It’s all extreme.”
Miles shrugs. “Hasn’t it always been though?”
I guess he does have a point. This whole lifestyle is extreme. I sigh, looking to Joker, and smile at him
when I see he’s staring. “What?” I ask.
“Ahem,” Miles clears his throat. “Puddin’, I get a little jealous when I see you flashing that grin
around at the minions. Save it for me.”
I laugh. It’s the first time the entire week I let out a small chuckle.
Joker shakes his head. “So what’s the plan? Because I take it you do have a plan?” He looks at Raze.
Raze sits forward, taking a cigar out of the humidor. I pick up the clipper, pulling his hand in mine and
snipping the end off the cigar for him before flicking open the Zippo. He raises his cigar to his mouth and I
light it for him.
“Oh, I have a plan. It involves Beast and his crew.”
“How?” I ask, turning toward him and placing the Zippo back on the table.
“They’re lining up one of their own to go undercover and basically play sex slave to Ikea. We can’t
just kill her, because she already has someone in place to take her spot should anything happen to her.”
“And what’s so bad about that?” Royal asks, eyebrows raised.
“Good question,” I mutter.
Raze puffs on his cigar. “Because if someone else takes her spot, I have to build a level of respect
with that person. I already have it with Ikea. I’m not delaying this shit any more than I already have to.”
“And then what? What happens after you successfully get someone in there with her?”
He looks to me. “It will take time, baby. He will have to be in there for some time to be able to gain
the level of power we’re needing.”
I scoff. “So you need to make her fall in love with him?”
Raze looks at me. “Precisely.”
“And who are they sending in?” I ask, my eyebrow cocked.
He grins around his cigar. “Frost.”
MILES SHUTS MY DOOR, AND I follow his lead up to the police station. They called my cell phone this
morning, needing me to come in for questioning, and since Raze is away in LA, Miles is taking me. He’s
been at home since he rose from the dead anyway. He said he’s been staying in an apartment close to the
Beehive—whatever the hell that is—but that he doesn’t have to stay there. According to him, Joker and
Angel suck at keeping me on a leash, and also according to him, the only owner who should be on the
other end of any leash I’m connected to should be either Raze or him, no one else. Go figure.
“I wonder what they want?” I whisper.
Miles’ arm hooks around my waist, pulling me into him more. I push my dark hair out of my face and
look up to Miles, following the sharp edges of his jaw and the tattoos that cover his neck. “You’re still a
good-looking son of a bitch.”
He looks down at me, putting his aviators on over his eyes and popping the collar to his suit shirt.
“Like that will ever change.”
I pinch him roughly, and his hand goes to the spot I squeezed him. “Ouch!”
I roll my eyes, taking the steps up toward the double sliding doors. “Oh please.” Grasping the door
handle, I mutter, “I swear I just want one week where we can do something normal and nothing illegal.”
He looks at me, his smile faltering slightly. “Come on, let’s see what they want.”

I drop down onto the chair in one of the officer’s rooms and he walks in, clutching a coffee in one
hand and a manila folder in the other.
“Sorry.” He gives me a small smile, shutting the door behind himself. “One of those mornings.”
Miles flicks his fingers. “Yeah, yeah, Barret, get on with it. Places to go, women to fuck, and all that.”
I look to Miles, widening my eyes. He winks at me, and then looks back to Officer Barret with
complete seriousness. Of course. I shake my head to myself. Of course, Donavon Barret. He’s in Raze’s
pocket.
“Sorry I had to call you down here, Millie. It’s just protocol, so people don’t ask questions on why I
go to you and you don’t come here.” He brushes it off. “So anyway, we wanted to ask you about that day.”
I nod. “Sure.”
“Do you remember anything about the car that hit you?” he asks, opening the folder and taking a sip of
his coffee.
“Black Ford Raptor, I think. It was massive and had bull bars on the front.”
“Did it look like he was attempting to stop?” he asks, watching me carefully. “Forgive me, but we
have to ask these questions, considering the nature of the man you’re currently seeing.” I go to open my
mouth, when Miles fat gob beats me to it.
“Barret,” Miles says calmly.
“Yes?”
“Keep him out of this discussion, and they’re more than seeing each other.”
“Right,” Barrett agrees, his cheeks turning red. “Of course, my apologies.”
“No need to apologize.” I shake my head. “To answer your question, I don’t think he tried stopping. In
fact,” I say, thinking over what little memories I have of that day, “I might go so far as to say he was
speeding up. I mean, he had fifty yards to stop, but he didn’t. There was a huge gap between the end of the
stop sign and my car, and—”
“Okay, puddin’.” Miles rests his hand on my knee. “Just breathe. We’ll get to the bottom of this.” He
gives me a reassuring squeeze and then looks back to Barret. “Is this what you’re implying?”
Barrett pauses briefly before nodding. “That’s what we’re thinking. Because like Millie said, the
distance between where the truck was to stop and her car was far too short for that amount of impact had
he been going at an average speed. He would’ve had to floor it in order to cause that amount of damage.”
“Fuck.” Miles pulls out his phone, punching in some numbers and then bringing it to his ears. “Yeah,
we’re gonna need to talk.” Then he hangs up and reaches for my hand.
I look to Barret and smile. “Thanks for the information.”
He nods. “No problem. Oh, and Miles?” he prompts, standing from his chair. “Tell Raze I’ll let you
know if I find out anything else.”
Miles nods briefly and then drags me out the door. Walking back outside, his phone rings in his
pocket, and he shoves me behind his body protectively. “Yeah? I don’t know. Barret seems to think, and
he has hard evidence, that the accident wasn’t an accident. Yeah. Yeah, okay. All right.” He hangs up the
phone and then tugs on my hand, leading me toward the car again.
“Miles?” I whisper, as he pulls open the passenger side door and gestures for me to get in. I obey,
clicking my seatbelt on as he jumps into the driver’s seat. “What’s going on?”
He pulls out of the parking lot and onto the main road.
“Someone intentionally tried to kill you,” he states, his hands gripping the steering wheel. “That’s a
fucking problem with me.”
“Oh,” I utter, looking back toward the road. “What’s new?”
He looks at me. “You think this is funny?”
I shrug. “I mean, ever since I’ve been in Vegas, people have wanted to kill me. I’m used to it.”
“This is not funny, Millie.”
“Miles.” I look back at him. “They killed my fucking daughter. If anyone is taking them out, it’s me.
Not you, not Raze—me.”
Miles ignores me and continues driving.
“IF I FIND OUT THAT any of your people are behind this accident, mark my words, I will kill you my-
fucking-self.” I lean back into the chair that’s sitting opposite Ikea and watch her closely.
“I know,” she says, shaking her head. “But it wasn’t us. Why, Raze?” she gets up from her seat and
walks to my side of the table, leaning back on her hands and crossing her long legs in front of me. “You
and I both know that if I wanted her dead, she would be dead.”
“If that thought even crosses your mind, Ikea, I’ll know and I’ll end you myself.”
She pauses, and then chuckles lightly before pushing off the table and walking back to her chair.
“Why else did you want me to come see you?” I ask.
Her eyes stay on mine as she flicks her long, platinum ponytail over her suited shoulder, bending over
and pulling open a filing cabinet. She pulls out a bright blue folder and then flings it at me.
“What’s this?” I prompt, flicking it open.
“That’s your next case. Or did you forget you’re running that base now?” She quirks her eyebrow.
Scanning over the profiles, I look up at her. “There are over twenty people in here.”
She nods. “Mmm-hmm. All twenty-seven of them need to meet the executioner.”
I slam it shut and slide the seat backward. “Was there anything else I needed to do for you?”
I scoff. “Not likely.” Then I turn and head out the glass doors of her office. The Beehive is situated in
the heart of Las Vegas. It’s built out of all glass and is shaped—shocker—like a beehive. Every single
office has its own window that overlooks the city and Ikea’s office sits at the very top.
Rufus jumps out of the Range Rover and pulls open my door for me before I slide into the back,
loosening my suit jacket. He gets back into the driver’s seat, clearing his throat. “Everything good, boss?”
“No.”
“WE ARE GOING.”
“No, it’s not a good idea right now, babe,” Raze mutters, walking toward me and taking the bag out of
my hands.
I close my eyes. “Raze… when is it ever a good time?” I open and look between his eyes. “So much
shit has happened, and I have a feeling it’s far from over. So can we please just do one normal thing? Just
one, until Christmas, because we have to celebrate Christmas.”
He frowns at me. “Baby, we’ve never celebrated Christmas or Thanksgiving. Ever.”
“What?” I ask, appalled. “What the hell did you guys do around this time of year, then?”
He arches his eyebrow.
“Right,” I mumble, understanding setting in. “Well, we’re doing it this year. It’s my first one out of the
church, and I want to go all out.”
He cocks his head. “Why?”
“Because…” I say, trailing off while I think of a reason. “This is just what I want. We have lost a lot,
but we’ve gained too.” I smile, thinking about Miles. “I want to be just that. Thankful.”
He watches me briefly before walking into the closet. He pulls down my clothes and throws them into
my bag.
“What’re you doing?” I ask, smiling.
“We’re going fucking skiing, but I’m choosing where.”
I smirk. “Oh? I wasn’t aware you knew what snow was, you know, because it’s so… pure and white.”
He looks at me with a bored expression. “Pack your shit, and for the record, I like pure things… or
have you forgotten?”
“Hey!” I call out just before he hits the door. “Can we bring the boys?”
He turns to face me fully. “Why?”
I shrug. “I don’t know. I just feel like this is our family now, so I kind of want them to come.” Which
is true, this is how I feel. I’ve become so used to their presence that I find myself bored when they’re not
around. Raze is always busy, and although he does try to involve me in as much as possible, there are still
times when I’m home alone and crave adult conversation. Raze and I have lots of time for us, but right
now, the busier I am the better.
 “Yeah,” he murmurs, pulling the door open.
“Thanks, baby!” I giggle, pulling down the rest of my clothes. I knew he wouldn’t want to do any of
this, but he’s trying to humanize himself for me and I see that effort, which only makes me fall in love with
him more.

Raze pulls open the back of the limo, and I slide in. He hands the driver our luggage, and I watch as
the rest of the boys pile in behind us. Miles slips in last and takes a seat next me.
“Miles!” I laugh as the limo pulls out of the driveway. “You know you’re going to need to ditch the
suit when we get there, right?”
“Who says you can’t ski in a suit?” He winks at me then throws his arm over the back of my seat.
Shaking my head, I scoff. I have yet to have an actual chat with Miles about Amy and Little J. I haven’t
really had the chance to tell him I named him Little J. Since Iris, I’ve been busying myself with business
and Raze, which I guess is a shitty thing to do. I haven’t seen him in so long, but I still don’t think I’m
ready to see Little J. That may be selfish, but the last time I saw him, I was excited about having my own.
So no, I’m nowhere near ready yet.
I look up at Raze as he cracks his neck, his eyes remaining on Joker. “What?” I say, not missing the
silent conversation between the two.
“Oh, don’t worry about them, puddin’.” Miles laughs from behind his shut lids. His arms cross in
front of himself. “They’re just cooking up some fuckery for our little trip.”
“What do you mean?” I ask, looking between them. “Where are we going?” I realize Raze didn’t tell
me where he had picked us to travel to. I glance at Miles. “And how come you’re allowed off your leash
now?”
“I was always allowed off my leash, baby girl.” He grins, opening one eye.
Curling my feet under my butt, I lean into the crook of Raze’s arm and he pulls me into him, kissing me
on top of my head, and it’s then I realize I never did get an answer about where we’re going.
WE PULL INTO THE QUIET private airport, and Millie shuffles uneasily under my arm. Joker looks down at
her and then back to me, and I know what he’s thinking. Neither of us wanted to come on this fucking trip,
but Millie, being Millie, forced us to all cooperate or she wouldn’t feed us for a week. Which was fine by
me, but it didn’t swing well with the boys. But after Iris, I feel like she needs to step away for a bit, to
take a breather.
So all my plans are on hold right now. Finding the fuckwit who tried to kill her is number one on my
list waiting for me when I get home, and I won’t rest until he’s dead. I know Millie wants his head, but I
can’t let her carry death. It’s a heavy load for someone like her. She acts hard ass and untouchable, but the
thing with her is she feels too much. It’s why she thinks she doesn’t feel at all. I’d never tell her that
though; she’d eat my balls for a week. We pull up to the private airport, and I slowly inch my arm out from
under her head.
“What’re we doing?” she asks, stirring from her seat.
“Taking the jet. It’s faster.”
“Jeez, where are we going to have to take a jet?” she asks. “And whose jet?”
“Not far, it’s only around forty minutes on a plane, and it’s mine. Let’s go.”
“What?” she gasps, just as the car stops. “Your jet?”
Miles chuckles, swinging the door open and getting out.
“Yes, mine. Can we go?” I urge her, nudging my head toward the open door.
“I didn’t know you owned a jet.”
“There’s a lot you still don’t know. I plan to fix that.” I take her hand in mine and pull her out of the
limo. She walks to the back and stands near Miles, and I nod at the pilot as he makes his way onto the
plane. It is mine, has been for some time now. I don’t know why, but I assumed she knew I’d own my own.
It’s not like I can travel around in coach where I go.
We all walk onto the plane, and Millie comes near me, taking a seat. She looks cute as fuck in her tight
black jeans and white knitted sweater. She still carries the curves from Iris too, which makes her even
more fucking beautiful.
“What?” she asks shyly, crossing her legs.
“Mmm.” I look to the back and watch as Miles places a few of the bags overhead and then walks
down the aisle, winking at me before taking a seat.
 Grasping her hand, I pull her to her feet and drag her to the back room. Pushing her in, I slide the door
closed and grin.
“Raze! No—”
“Millie?” I mock her tone, gripping behind her thighs and lifting her up, smashing her back against the
wall and pressing my cock into her. “Yes,” I groan into her neck, running my tongue over her jugular.
She moans, giving me access to her neck, and I take it, nibbling and sinking my teeth into her warm
flesh. Her fingers wrap around the back of my neck, and I slam her up against the wall again, gliding my
fingers toward her jeans, popping the button and placing her onto her feet. I lower myself to the floor with
my eyes remaining on hers, gripping the waist of her jeans and yanking them off. I remove her panties,
leaving her standing in front of me bare and exposed.
“Mmm,” I growl, licking my lips. Her breathing shallows as she grips my hair until my strands are
sliding between her fingers. “Mine.” Then I cover her sex with my mouth, throwing her thigh over my
shoulder.
She moans again, her head tilting back against the wall. “Yes,” she pants.
“Tell me what you want, Millie. Use your words.” I circle her clit slowly, teasingly, until she’s riding
my face like she rides my cock. Gripping her thighs roughly, I halt her grinding.
She lets out a soft growl, and I chuckle against her skin. “Raze!” she whines.
Running the tip of my nose against her clit, I inhale her scent, the scent I’ve become fucking entranced
with. Gripping her ass cheeks, spreading them wide, I snarl, “Tell me what you want, baby. I won’t touch
you until you talk to me.” Slowly, I slide my lips over the junction of her thigh, and her breath hitches.
“I want,” she starts, her chest rising and falling. She pushes off the wall slightly, and I slap her ass,
leaving a sting on my palm. “Ouch!”
“Baby,” I breathe, blowing air over her clit and bringing my index finger toward her entry. “I’m not a
patient man.” Then I sink the tip of my finger into her, only an inch. She growls again, obviously getting
more frustrated as I go deeper and massage my finger into her G-spot until her hips start bucking again.
My cock pulses in my pants, swelling against my zipper. “Tell me what you want!”
“God!” she screams. “I want your fucking tongue on me. I want it all. I want everything you can give
me and then some.”
I grin proudly. “Yeah, baby, I can do that.” Then, I run my tongue from her opening up to her clit,
circling in a torturous pace as my finger caresses her spot. Her hips surge and I slip my finger out, gliding
to the back of her and she pauses briefly then relaxes. I lock my lips around her, my tongue pressed flatly
against her clit, rubbing it all over her nub until her cum is dripping down her leg. Pausing, I inch my head
back, bringing my mouth to her inner thigh and licking her wetness off her leg.
“I want you, Raze.”
“Who do you belong to?” I ask, dipping my finger back into her sweet entrance and pumping her a few
times.
“You, Raze. I belong to you.”
“Damn straight,” I say, pulling out of her entrance and slipping a finger into her ass. “This is mine
too.” She tenses, so I lay little kisses up her thigh and back to her pussy. “Relax, baby, I got you.”
She relaxes on command, loosening around my finger. Locking my lips onto her clit, I suck, lick, and
blow on it until her nails are digging into my shoulders and her screams of release are loud enough to
bring down the plane. Her body wracks under the palm of my hand and my cock swells for her. Spinning
her around, she turns to face the wall and I stand, spreading her legs wide with my feet. Pushing her long
dark hair to fall over one of her shoulders, I bring my lips to her ear and bite down on her lobe. “This
ass,” I pull my cock out of my pants, pumping it a couple times and running it down the slit of her ass. “Is
going to be mine. You good with that?”
She hesitates, and then nods. “Yeah,” she moans, looking over her shoulder and licking her lips. I
bring my tongue to her jawline and lick her cheek softly, like a tiger would taste its prey before he feasts
on it. “Good girl.” Gathering up enough saliva, I spit on my dick, rubbing the slippery lubricant all over
my tip and trunk before guiding it toward her ass, and then slowly, I inch myself into her.
“Oh fuck,” I groan, dropping my forehead to the back of her shoulder.
She hisses. “Oh.”
“You want me to stop, babe?” I whisper, sinking deeper and deeper into her slowly as her ass
clenches around my cock.
She shakes her head, biting down on her lip again. “No,” she whispers. “Don’t ever stop.”
“Good,” I answer with a grin. “I wasn’t planning on it.” Then, I pound into her. Her newly curvy body
smashes back against me until her ass slaps against my pelvic bone and my cock imprints itself into every
single inch of her inside.
“Oh my God!” she pants, throwing her head back. “That feels so good, Raze. Please don’t stop!”
Picking up the pace, I thrust until her head is knocking against the wall. I wrap her long hair around
my fist and tug her head back, all while I continue pounding my dick into her. Owning her, dominating her.
I’m fucking obsessed with her. She’s fucking mine, and I want to bang on my chest and roar like a fucking
animal.
“Fuck,” I growl, my balls tightening. She lets out a slow moan, her body locking up and her legs
shaking as we release together. After a couple beats, I step back, popping off the buttons from my shirt.
She spins around, her back now pressing against the wall.
I step forward once I see the red imprint on her forehead. “Fuck,” I repeat unhappily, and run my
finger down her head as she giggles.
“Leave it, Raze.” Every time I fuck her, I end up hurting her. My dick gets hard again at the thought.
Her hair is in a mop of messy strands, and she drops down to the floor, picking up her clothes.
“Well… now I’m thoroughly fucked, and I’m pretty sure I won’t be able to sit down for a week.”

After copping stares from the boys the rest of the way, we land, and I take Millie’s hand in mine, leading
her down the stairs from the jet.
“So,” Millie quirks her eyebrows, “where are we?”
I smirk, leading her toward the waiting limo. “Telluride.”
“Telluride?” she gasps, linking her fingers with mine. “As in Colorado?”
“The one and only.” I open the door, letting her and the boys slide in.
“Why?” she asks, watching me carefully.
I look to Miles who sits beside her. “Truth?” I ask.
She scoffs. “No, please lie to me. I just love that.”
“We’re here for a job.”
“Pardon?” She looks at me. “This was supposed to be a family trip!” Then she looks at all the boys,
who glance away from her quickly. Pussies. Her eyes land on Miles. “You!”
“Hey!” He throws his hands up. “How come he gets all the crazy monkey sex and your heart, but yet
I’m the one who gets into trouble?”
She softens slightly. “You have my heart too. Not the monkey sex, but my heart, yes.”
“Good thing,” he jokes, winking. “‘Cause I don’t fuck like a monkey. I fuck like motherfucking King
Kong!” Then he bangs on his chest like a maniac.
 Why didn’t I let this idiot starve to death all those years ago?
Millie shakes her head, unable to contain her laughter. “You are such a—”
“Nah-ah! No name-calling!”
She sticks her tongue out at him and I quickly snatch it, clamping it between my fingers, before raising
my eyebrows at both of them. “Shut the fuck up.”
“Ahhh! Oday, oday, desus, Daze, let id do!” Millie whines.
I release her tongue and look back at Angel, Joker, and Viking all laughing behind their hands. Royal
is just sitting there, shaking his head. I’m fucked with these two.
THE LIMO PULLS DOWN THE quiet, dark main road of Telluride. The steep, sharp mountains hover around
the small and ancient township, and scatterings of snow are dusted all over the road and rooftops.
Streetlights hang overhead, paving our way, and I look to Raze. “This town is a little creepy.” I grin. “I
like it.”
The limo pulls into a large parking lot to a cabin-style resort that has been lit up by warm lights inside
and floor-to-ceiling windows. We gather our bags out of the trunk as Raze walks into the resort to get our
keys.
“For the record,” Miles begins, smirking at me and slinging his bag over his shoulder. “For the first
time ever, this wasn’t my doing—us being here, I mean.”
“So you’re telling me,” I say, picking up my bag, “that you didn’t know what was going on?”
He laughs. “Wait, let me rephrase that.”
Yeah, thought so.

Raze kicks open our door and I walk in, removing my hoodie. The tarnished wood and rich mahogany
colors showcase the classy and wealthy feel this place gives, and I instantly love it. Walking toward the
large window, I look up to the frosted snow covered mountain that sits directly in front, with the gondolas
that you ride to the top illuminating the dark forest with its lights. He steps behind me, handing me a glass
of whiskey, the icy clinks breaking our silence. “It’s real beautiful here. A world of its own.”
He watches me, lifts his glass to his mouth, and throws it back, swallowing the liquid in one gulp.
There’s so much I want to say to him. We haven’t talked about Iris, and we haven’t talked about the
guy who tried to kills me, but when I look at him, I know he doesn’t want to talk about it. So, I place my
glass on the bedside table, bring my hands up to his cheeks, and whisper, “Take me to bed?” Whatever
he’s struggling with, I just hope he comes to me when he’s ready.
 The past two days go fast. After a lot of debate between Miles and me, we found that I’m much better
on skis than I am on a snowboard. Raze is a snowboard god, and Miles is too, so I think they were sort of
hoping I’d be joining the snowboarder pack, but with no such luck. I’m with Royal, and we’re skiers.
Viking stood on guard the whole weekend, and Joker took it upon himself to be a pain in my ass.
We’re all sitting in a restaurant, before we have to board and go back to Vegas, when Raze hooks his
fingers with mine. “I just have one thing to do before I come back.” He looks over to Miles. “Miles will
take you home, okay?”
I search his eyes, looking for clues, but come up with nothing. Why is he being so cryptic with me, and
why didn’t he do whatever he needed to do on Saturday or Sunday? Why wait until I leave, and then not
bother to tell me anything else?
“Why?” I ask. “Where are you going?”
“I have to handle something personally. It’s nothing big.”
Miles taps my knee. “Come on, puddin’. Let’s get your shit ready.”
“Why are you being secretive?” I confront Raze, pulling out of Miles’ grip.
He scoffs. “I’m not being secretive, Millie. Go with Miles.” He tosses back his water and pushes his
seat back, dropping a stack of bills on the table and pretty much dismissing me.
I laugh sarcastically, shaking my head. Miles mumbles, “Here we go,” and Joker snorts beside him.
“I’m not going anywhere until you tell me what the fuck you’re doing. What? Are you seeing someone
else? Like, what, Raze? Because you haven’t opened up to me since we lost Iris, and it’s fucking freaking
me out!”
“Shut the fuck up, Millie,” he seethes, gripping my arm and pulling me up.
I pull out of his brace. “No!” I point my finger into his chest. “Fuck you! I wanted to do this in hopes
that you would maybe open up to me a little more, but obviously, I don’t mean fucking shit, or you would
have.” I spin around to walk away from him and toward our room, and for the first time ever, he doesn’t
chase me.
THE PLANE LANDS, AND I plait my hair into a side fishtail-braid, cuddling into my sweater and sitting
alone, away from Miles. For the first time, I just want to be alone. Raze and I have fought before, but the
arguments were always fueled with fire. This fight was different. I felt like I was losing him, and I only
just got him. A part of me thought I may have overreacted, but another part, a bigger part, was too
pigheaded to see it.
Miles walks over to me, dropping into the seat beside me.
“You know,” he starts, leaning back on his seat. “He loves you, Millie.”
Shaking my head, a tear slips from my eye. “I refuse to be a doormat, Miles.”
“What?” he scoffs, turning to face me. He brings his hand up to cup my chin and his thumb caresses
my bottom lip. “Fuck, baby. Why would you think you’re a doormat?”
I laugh. “Because! Look at everything he has put me through, what we’ve put each other through. I
thought that maybe he had changed, you know, like we had grown closer, and I guess, in a sense, we had.
But I have never felt so disconnected from him.”
“When did this start?” he asks, his thumb still playing with my lip.
“I don’t know. I guess it all has sort of built up over time. The lies, losing Iris, getting you back,
learning about The Syndicate and Ikea.” I throw my hands up, turning to face Miles. “Is that who he’s with
now? Is he already bored with me?” I ask, my voice shaking. “I mean, shit.” I swipe the tears off my
cheek angrily. “I’m damaged goods, right? I couldn’t even keep his fucking kid safe.”
“Millie,” Miles whispers sadly, shaking his head. His eyes shutter and his face morphs into confusion.
He goes to open his mouth, but I shake my head. “Don’t. You don’t need to fill my head with words.
Words don’t mean anything,” I tell him, looking out the window. “They mean jack shit.”

Pulling up to the house after we land, I instantly know something is wrong. The Victorian windows
that are so elegantly placed around the old cobblestone house are shattered, and there’s an eerie whisper
that’s whisking through the air. Miles pulls out his Glock, and I reach into my handbag to pull out my
Desert Eagle. He looks to me briefly before glancing back out the window, and then his head whips back
to my gun.
“What the fuck?” he whispers. “Who the ever-loving fuck let you own a damn .50 cal?”
 “Um,” I say, looking to the side. “Your boss. Let’s go.”
I go for the door and he pulls me backward. “Sit your fucking ass down, puddin’. You are not coming
in with me.” He bangs on the glass that separates us and the driver. The driver lowers the window, and
Miles looks at him. “Don’t let her out.”
That won’t work. I’ll just threaten him. I won’t let Miles know that though, because it will give him
time to figure out another plan at keeping me away.
“You, me, and Raze are going to talk about you owning a weapon like that,” he states, pointing his
own at it. “Shooting something with that kind of power requires training. Jesus fucking Christ, I’ll kill him
for giving you that fuckin’….” He’s still spurting profanities as he’s getting out of the car, shutting the door
quietly behind himself, and walking across the road. The SUV with the rest of the boys pulls up behind us,
and I watch as they all jump out with their weapons drawn. They’re all here except Angel, which is
interesting. Usually, when Miles isn’t with Raze, it’s almost always Joker who stays with Raze, not
Angel. I watch as they go in behind Miles, all with a weapon raised. I roll my eyes and look at the new
young driver.
“Are we going to sit here and pretend like you’re not going to let me out of this car, or what?” I ask,
looking down at my gun. “Either way, pretty boy, I’m getting out of here. So,” I say, waving my gun around
and rolling my eyes. “You can either let me out now, or I can shoot you. You know, nowhere crazy,
though.” I giggle, my eyes darkening. “Just in the leg or something.” I wink, and he swallows roughly, his
Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat.
I slowly raise my gun, and he throws up his hands. “Okay!” he yells. “Fuck, whatever, man. I’m just
doing this for extra cash!”
I grin, leaning over the seat and placing a small kiss on his neck. “Thanks.” Then, I open the door, still
grinning at him as I step out. He smiles at me politely before he freezes and his eyes go over my shoulder.
It all happens so fast. A bullet plows through a silencer, red splattering all over the windshield and car, as
the young driver’s lifeless eyes fall to the back of his head and his blood squirts out, skimming the tip of
my tongue. I whip my head around just in time for the back of a gun to come crashing into my face,
knocking me out cold.
“YEAH?” I GRIN AT HER, dropping down to the chair I’m way too fucking familiar with. “Why?”
“Well.” Ikea grins at me and Angel. “I just want to be careful, baby,” she coos, her finger caressing
down the side of my face.
“Yeah, I get that, but why the fuck lead me here, to do a job, only to find you here instead. You playing
games with me, Ikea? ‘Cause that wouldn’t be a very fucking smart thing to do.” I tilt my head.
Angel clears his throat. “What the fuck’s going on?” He only ever clears his throat if something is
fishy to him. Figures. This whole fucking thing is fishy, but there’s a reason why she wanted me here,
obviously, and now I just have to figure out what her fucking game is.
She pushes off her desk and rounds it, dropping back onto a dusty old chair. When we pulled up to the
industrial building, I knew something was wrong. The man she had used as hit bait was CEO of Lance
Traders. You wouldn’t find someone like him in a place like this, but I know, regardless of my suspicions,
I would’ve still had to come in.
She reaches for a remote, pressing a button and pointing it toward the old box television sitting in the
corner. The fuzzy white noise fills the room before the picture clears and Millie’s face comes in. I shoot
up off my chair, launching myself at Ikea instantly. One of her guards blocks me from her, but my hand
goes straight to his throat and Angel tackles the other guard. Ikea, not having anyone else in here, reaches
into her pocket and shoots a gun in the air. “Get the fuck back!” Then she aims it at Angel’s leg, squeezing
the trigger with a pop! Angel lets out a howl, clutching the side of his thigh as blood seeps between his
fingers.
I stare at her, my chest heaving. “What the fuck do you want?”
“Relax, Raze. The queen is still safe. Heard she shot one of my men though. We are going to have to
talk about that.”
She what? I don’t care. All I care about is why the fuck my girl is on a TV screen with blood coming
from a head wound and duct tape stuck over her fucking lips.
“You have three seconds to explain your shit, Ikea, or I swear to God, whether you kill me or not, I’ll
be taking you down with me, and that’s a motherfucking promise.”
She places the remote on the table. “There’s something of your father’s that is mine.”
“What?” I whisper. “You fucking took my fucking girl because you want something from me from my
piece-of-shit father?”
 She curls her finger to someone behind me, and Shelby walks in. There’s something different about
her though. She once held a stubborn shoulder and strong smile. Now… now she looks malnourished and
submissive. Robotic—she looks robotic. I have no doubt she will be getting used as a test subject again.
“Shelby, why don’t you tell Raze what I need?”
So she’s still using Shelby as her little dirty slave. I can sympathize with Shelby in a way. None of our
shit in this world makes sense, but her reason for wanting revenge on Beast and Hella made perfect sense
to me. They took a lot from her, robbed her of her childhood, which consequently put her in Ikea’s father’s
hands. Bullshit like that.
“There was a formula.” Ikea takes her eyes off Shelby and brings them to me. “A very important
formula that your mother cooked up.”
“Schyronide?” I nod. “I don’t know where the fuck it is.”
“Well, you will have to find it.”
“Or what?” I seethe. “You lay one hand on that girl’s head, I’ll kill you all.” I smirk at her. “Don’t
fuck with me when it comes to Millie, Ikea.”
She rolls her eyes, waving her hands in the air. “No need for theatrics, Raze. I—along with the rest of
the world—know just how precious your little queen is to you. She’s free to go home. This,” she points to
the TV, “was to show you just how capable I am at taking what I want. The boys made a bit of a mess at
your place though. Sorry about that.”
I laugh, standing from my seat and walking to her side. Her eyes dart to the door before coming back
to me. I scare her. Good. Dropping down to her level, my hand flies to her throat and I squeeze, just
enough to get my point across.
“Hmm.” I laugh. “You seriously think you’re going to get away with this shit that easy?” My grip
tightens and her face turns purple.
“Raze, let go,” she mutters between strained breaths.
I tilt my head. “You will call a company and have my shit back exactly how your little bitch boys
found it. And,” I say, letting go of her throat and stepping back, “I want whoever it was who put his
fucking hands on her.”
“Raze—”
“Unless, of course, you’re volunteering?” I question her. “Because no one touches Millie and lives to
tell about it.” She watches me closely, and then exhales.
“Fine. Told the little shit not to touch her.”
Her guard nods. “Raze, she told him clearly not to touch her, and I quote ‘Raze is the kingpin of the
underworld, yes, but he’s also intellectually unhinged and that crazy bitch right there, is his queen.’
You have our word it wasn’t intended.”
“Your word doesn’t mean shit to me. I don’t know you.” I look down to Ikea. “I’ll ask you once, and
once only, and you see Angel there?” I nudge my head over my shoulder. “He has a specialty that I just
love. Want to know what it is?” I ask her, cocking my head. She nods, so I carry on. “Before he joined me,
he was in the military as a human lie detector. The man is,” I chuckle, “one-hundred percent accurate.”
She looks to Angel with newfound interest, and then looks back to me.
“Go on. Ask me,” she says. “I have nothing to hide from you, Raze.”
“Did you have anything to do with Millie being involved in a car wreck?”
Instant. “No.”
I look up at Angel, and after a few seconds, he looks to me and nods. I push off her chair and walk
toward the door. “Oh, and Ikea?” I prompt, turning around to look at her over my shoulder just as my hand
reaches the door handle. “You pull that shit again, and I will kill you.” Then I walk out the door, dialing
Miles.
“Fuck, Raze, I don’t—”
 “Get the locket.”
“Now? But Millie—”
“I know, and I’m going to get her.”
“I’m coming,” Miles announces.
I pick up my pace toward my car. “Has Drago been able to lock in where she is?”
“Yeah, did Ikea not tell you where she is?”
“Oh,” I say, opening my door and getting into the driver’s seat, “she’s going to, but I’m not waiting on
her.” I slam the door closed, hang up, and fire up my car, dialing Drago. He answers. “Got it?” I ask.
“Yeah, sending the details to you now.”
I hang up my phone and pull out of the parking spot, following the directions to a warehouse.
“MAN, I NEED TO GO to the hospital,” one of the little dweebs cries, clutching his leg. I roll my eyes, my
hands bound behind my back and tape slicked over my mouth.
The other guy looks at me, pressing on the wound, attempting to staunch the bleeding. “I told you not
to touch her. Ikea will be mad.” I narrow my eyes. Should have known that bitch was a part of this. “And
that’s Raze’s woman, man, fuck,” he whispers to his buddy.
After clocking me over the head, I was only out for a few seconds. I think he expected me to be out a
lot longer. I flew up from the van floor they tossed me onto, snatching his gun that was immaturely left
beside him, and shot him straight in the leg. Thinking back, I should have shot the driver, and then maybe I
wouldn’t be here right now. One of the boys’ phone rings, and he takes his hand off the wound, answering
it.
“Yeah?” He looks to me, fear brushing over his face for a second. “Okay.” Then he hangs up. “We
gotta go right now.”
“Why?” the boy moans from the ground, sweat dripping over his face and distress lines crinkling his
forehead.
“Because Raze is coming here in an hour.”
“Tsk tsk,” Raze mutters from the doorframe. “She said an hour?” He laughs, his eyes darkening. Miles
comes up behind him, straightening his suit and pulling on his leather gloves with a blank look on his face.
“Ikea underestimates my intelligence.”
Miles grins, stepping in front of me. “Think we need to teach the bitch a lesson.” He drops down to
my level, removing the tape gently, and then stands back to his feet, his shoulders square. “You don’t fuck
with our family.”
Shuffling my ties to the front of myself, I watch as Raze ignores me and walks straight to the young
guys.
“Raze,” I snap. “Let the blond one go.”
He pauses. “Why?”
“Because he didn’t do anything.” He carries on toward the two boys, and I look up at Miles. “Miles?”
He smiles weakly at me. “Sorry, puddin’, that’s just not how the cookie crumbles.”
I lean my head back on the wall and watch as Raze lowers himself to the boy I shot. His hand flies up
to his throat. He clenches and stands with the boy in his hands, who shakes his head.
“No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.”
“Look at me,” Raze tells him, his head tilting. The boy slams his eyes shut.
Raze’s hand comes up to his face before each of his thumbs sink into the boy’s eye sockets. A blood-
curdling scream pierces my ears and I stumble up to my feet, pushing my shoulders back.
“Puddin’?” Miles smirks at me. “You sure you wanna see this?”
“I’ve seen death before, Miles,” I whisper, standing beside him. “I see it every time I look into Raze’s
eyes.”
Looking back to Raze, I watch as he pulls his knife out from the holster of his suit and stabs it into the
side of the boy’s neck, slicing it across his thin flesh. The young man’s eyes pop open, and blood gurgles
in his throat as he struggles for his next breath. Raze throws his body onto the ground and looks to the
other boy. He tilts his head and starts walking toward him.
“Raze!” I snap. No way am I letting that shit happen.
“Puddin’, don’t interrupt him.”
Fuck that. I’ll interrupt what I want. He’s not killing this boy, when he was the only one who was
against hurting me.
I walk toward Raze, and I hear Miles curse under his breath. Darting in front of my man, I swallow
roughly, my hands coming up to his hard chest. “No.” Looking into his eyes, I see it. They’re wired like he
had been snorting cocaine. Miles is right; I probably shouldn’t interrupt him. He looks as though he’s in
the middle of feasting.
His eyes slowly soften as they look between each of mine. I shake my head slowly, running my hands
up his chest, down his arms, and then clutching his hand that has the blood-soaked knife in it. “No,” I
repeat through a hoarse whisper, taking the knife from him.
His shoulders slouch as he brings his slick, blood-soaked hand to my cheek. The pad of his thumb
caresses my lower lip, and he steps forward until his body is flush against mine. Dropping his head, his
lips fall onto mine roughly, kissing me before he pulls back. His eyes are still wild, but there’s something
else there now too. Humanity? An inch of it, anyway. He tugs on my hand and pushes me behind him
before looking to the boy. “You tell Ikea that if she tries to pull this shit again, I’ll rip her fucking throat
out myself, along with anyone who rolls with her. Understood?”
The boy nods his head vigorously. “Yes, yes, I will tell her.”

We walk back into the house, and Raze bends down, scooping me into his arms. “Tired, baby?”
I nod, snuggling into his neck. “Yeah.”
He kisses my head, walking us back upstairs to our room.
“Hey,” he says, placing me onto the bed, “I’ll go run the bath. We need to talk.”
I watch as he walks into the bathroom, and I kick off my shoes. He comes back in and takes my hand,
pulling me toward the bathtub. The condensation falls over my skin as I undress and slowly dip into the
scalding tub. Rubbing the hot water over my face, I dip my hair under and watch as his massive, strong
body drops in behind me. He takes the soap in hand, and I lean back against his chest, completely content
with our position.
“What did you want to talk about?” I ask, watching as he rubs circles of bubbles onto my legs.
“Oh, nothing too important.” His hand glides down the inside of my thigh, dipping under the water.
His fingertips glide over my folds. “On second thought,” he growls, vibrating against my back, “this is
more important than talking.”
I giggle, then his finger slips inside me and I’m lost again.
THANKSGIVING PASSED AND THEN CHRISTMAS came. I always love this time of year, the time where the
Christmas spirit is floating around between the fresh pine smell and all the colorful bright lights.
“Miles!” I yell. “Pass me the angel.” He looks down to the angel and then back up to where I am,
standing on a small ladder and needing to put the angel at the top of the tree. “Miles!”
He shakes his head. “I don’t know if I should touch it. What if I go up in flames?”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” I walk down the ladder just as Little J comes crawling into the living room.
“Hey, buddy, your daddy is useless.”
I walk over to Little J and scoop him into my arms. It wasn’t long after Raze’s and my ‘talk’ in the
bathtub last month, when I decided I needed to get in contact with Amy and the baby again. The sooner I
did it, the better, because I hated being away from the little guy. Raze admitted the reason he pulled away
from Amy during the pregnancy and then Little J was because he was so angry at Miles. They also spoke
about “Lucky Hundred” and when Miles found out that it was Raze. It turned out Miles knew the second
he met Raze, but he kept it to himself. It also turned out Raze had to give Ikea the formula to Schyronide in
order to keep me out of her reach, but he says her future has only just begun and that she’ll get hers one
day soon. He made a point of saying it would be very soon.
Little J laughs, drool coming out of his little mouth. He’s seriously the cutest little kid ever.
“Naw,” Miles says, taking Little J from me and placing a tentative kiss on his head. “Don’t listen to
Aunty Puddin’. She’s just mad because she knows she chose the wrong man.”
I scowl. “Miles, don’t get him to call me Aunty Puddin’!”
“Why not?” He feigns shock. “I think it’ll be cah-uuute.”
I pick up the angel and climb back up the ladder as he bounces Little J on his hip. “Tell me,” I
instigate, peeking down at him as I place the angel on the top of the tree. Perfect. “Why puddin’? I mean,
Melissa used to watch comics as a kid, and I remember the whole Harley Quinn to Joker reference, but
she would call him puddin’.”
He pauses, peeking up at me from under his lashes before a sly grin tugs up his lips. “Exactly.” He
winks, his face straightening as Amy walks in.
“I’ve got to feed him.” She smiles at Miles.
Miles hands him to Amy and then walks toward me, taking a seat on the bottom of the ladder. I jump
off and stand in front of him.
“Because Harley was always more obsessed with Joker than he was her. I mean,” he says, adjusting
his words. “Don’t get me wrong. They were both crazy about each other, but there was always more when
it came from Harley. She flipped a switch when it came to Joker, and she just knew….” He looks up at
me. I sit down on his knee, my arm curling around his neck. He smiles up at me, his eyes dropping to my
lips. “She just knew he was it for her. So much so that it drove her to insanity,” he whispers, his arm
around my waist tightening. He laughs, shaking his head. “Joker was always crazy. But Harley? The love
she felt for him is what fueled her crazy.”
“But,” I tilt my head, my hand coming to his cheek, “you were always crazy too.”
He shook his head. “Not like this. Not the kind of crazy I feel when I know you’re in danger. That’s a
whole new level. I’ve always been unhinged, but I was in control. It’s why Raze and I work so well. We
would handle business elegantly.” He pauses. “But when it comes to you,” he looks up to me again,
“there’s no way I’d be able to handle anything elegantly.”
“I love you,” I whisper, kissing his forehead.
“I love you, too.” He grins, leaning his head back on one of the steps. “Still think you chose the wrong
man.”
I laugh, throwing my head back just as Raze walks in, with Joker, Angel, Viking, and Soulless not far
behind him. I pause. “Hi.”
“Get the fuck off his lap.” Snappy. Raze walks toward me and tugs me up by my hand. I wink down at
Miles before cuddling into Raze’s side. Wrapping my arms around Raze’s strong waist, I glance up as he
looks down at me. “Come on. We need to talk.”
“What?” I ask, being dragged onto the sofa. The rest of the guys walk in and scatter around the sitting
room except Miles, who stays on the ladder, and I look to Raze. “Business?”
He nods.
I shake my head. “Nope. We are not doing this.” I go to launch off his lap, only for his grip around my
waist to tighten. “It’s Christmas fucking Day,” I hiss, looking pointedly at all of them. “We are not talking
about this shit until after Christmas.”
The front door swings open. “Honey, I’m hooome!”
Raze rolls his eyes. It was a different look for him, and Miles chuckles from the ladder. Melissa
walks in carrying a large platter, with Hella following behind her, and then Beast, Meadow, Frost, Ella,
and Hannibal closely behind. I was expecting them, so it isn’t a shock. The rest of the boys have their own
plans for the day, but I invited the whole club anyway, much to Raze’s unease. He gave in, like he always
does when it’s something I’m set on.
“I mean it, Raze.” My shoulders square as I stand to my feet and look around my room full of mentally
unstable men. “This shit can wait until tomorrow.” Then I walk out. “Try to ruin my fucking Christmas,” I
mutter under my breath. When I approach Melissa, my scowl changes instantly. “Hey!” I squeeze her
before hugging Meadow and Ella. Ella walks away from Frost and heads straight for Raze. I watch her
retreating back then turn to Frost with my eyes wide. “Trouble?”
He rolls his eyes, pushing his floppy hair back, his jaw setting. “There’s always something with her.”
Beast looks to Frost and shakes his head.
“You bang?” I ask, eyebrow quirked.
He scoffs. “Definitely fucking not.” A scowl pulls across his face. “A princess can’t handle my dick.
Only a queen can.” He winks at me, his eyes dragging up and down my body.
“Okay, Casanova, get in the living room before I rip your eyeballs out.” He and Hannibal walk down
to where Raze is. Amy gallops down the stairs with Little J on her hip, smiling at Meadow and Melissa.
We have two kids under the same roof. Terrifying.
“Oh!” I say, inching toward Ivy. “Hello, beautiful! You get your looks from your mama!” I grin at
Beast.
His eyes narrow, and then he smirks. “Not even gonna deny that shit.”
“So,” I begin, standing straight, “when’s it your turn?” I ask Hella and Melissa. She coughs, banging
on her chest. Hella grins.
She takes a drink of her bottled water quickly, evil eying me from above the rim. “Nope, not anytime
soon. I’m happy to play aunty.”
“Yeah.” Hella smirks, walking toward the sitting room. “We’ll see, baby.” Her eyes narrow on his
back as she flips him the bird. “I saw that,” he growls.
Shaking my head, Melissa laughs and Beast runs his knuckles over Meadow’s face. Ever the
gentleman to his girl. Fuck my life, I chose the wrong brother. “You know where I am, baby,” he tells her,
and then he follows the rest of them.
“Sheesh,” Melissa huffs. “I can almost smell all the testosterone in that room.”
We all crack up laughing before I nudge my head toward the kitchen. “Let’s drink and cook!”
Amy and Meadow follow us in, talking about the newest diapers on the market, no doubt. I try not to
be bitter about them being happy, and now that I’ve had time to heal—not thoroughly, because I don’t think
you can ever heal completely from losing a child—I’m slowly starting to realize that maybe it just wasn’t
my time.
“I already started on the roast. It’s been cooking all day. We just need to do salads, sides, and
pudding.”
“And we do all this… while drinking?” Melissa asks, her eyebrow cocked.
“Yes.” I grin, turning around and pulling vodka out of the cupboard. “Grab the eggnog.”
“Nope.” Melissa shakes her head. “I don’t do eggnog.”
“I know,” I say, sliding the vodka and orange juice toward her. “That’s what this is for. And for the
record, I never understood why you can’t do eggnog—especially with the amount of dicks you’ve had
down your throat.”
She slices me with a glare, and Meadow and Amy laugh from the dining table. “Since when do you
like eggnog, anyway?” she shoots back.
I shrug. “It’s not bad.”
“It tastes like cum.”
I burst out laughing. “Exactly why I don’t understand how you don’t like it.” Meadow and Amy giggle.
“Do you girls want a drink?” I ask them.
Amy nods her head, but Meadow shakes hers. “I’m still breastfeeding.” And that sets off their next
conversation. My grin drops.
“Hey.” Melissa brings her hand to my arm. “Are you okay?”
I smile sadly. “Yeah. Just….”
“Iris.”
I’m about to respond, when Ella storms into the kitchen, flicking her dark mane over her shoulder.
“Hey! I like your hair!” I tell her.
She shrugs. “Thanks. Felt a little defiant.” She snatches the vodka, pulls out a glass, and then turns to
the freezer, pressing her glass against the ice dispenser.
“Ella?”
“Hmm?” she mumbles, her back to me, before she swings around, twisting the lid off the vodka and
pouring some into her glass. Some being a lot.
“You okay?”
She doesn’t bother with the orange juice. Tipping the vodka back, she places her glass onto the table
when it’s drained. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be? I mean, I start college soon. I’m young. I’m not tied down.
I… I….” She pauses, her hands coming down to the counter. Her head drops between her arms. “I’m
totally not okay.”
Rounding the kitchen island, I lean on it and refill her glass before bringing it to my lips and shooting
it back. “Frost?”
 She exhales with a hissed “Yes” then looks to me. “I hate him. I hate him. He’s bossy and controlling,
so, you know, I thought he liked me a little….” She trails off.
Oh no.
“Frost doesn’t like people, honey.” I pat her hand. “He will ruin you if you let him.”
“Truth!” Melissa says, shooting back vodka. My eyes snap to Melissa. She could have been a little
more sensitive about it, considering how fragile Ella is looking. But she’s Beast and Raze’s kid sister, so
there’s gotta be something more to her. I don’t think she’s as soft as she makes herself out to be, but for
whatever reason, she keeps her hardness hidden.
Melissa rolls her eyes. “Okay, okay.” She rounds the kitchen island and stands near me. She looks to
Ella and exhales. “Frost is a psychopath, honey.”
“I thought he was a sociopath?” I ask, looking at my sister.
Melissa shakes her head. “No, they’re different. I only know this, because we both got drunk one time
and he spilled a bit of beans.
I nod, leaning on the kitchen island. “He told me a little too. What’s the difference?”
Melissa snatches the vodka and looks up at Ella, who is staring wide-eyed, waiting for us to
elaborate. “A sociopath has somewhat of a conscience. A psychopath?” She quirks her eyebrow, pouring
more liquor into her glass. She looks to Ella. “Has none.”
Ella sucks in her breath. “It’s all a figure of speech though, right? I mean, I would call Raze that all the
time as a kid.”
Melissa shakes her head again. “Nope. He’s been diagnosed since he was a kid. He told me a story,”
she says, her face falling. “But it’s not mine to tell. Just know, there is a very thin chance, if any, that he
would ever ‘like’ anyone. They don’t feel normal human emotions. They have no empathy, and they’re
cold. You put all that in someone like Frost? He’s every villain’s nightmare. He’s the worst. A cold and
calculated killer.” The air thickens, a long pause hanging between us.
Talk about intense.
I laugh, waving Melissa off and looking to Ella. “But he won’t hurt you,” I lie. He would hurt anyone
if he truly wanted to. To hell with the consequences.
“Huh.” Ella stares off into the distance.
“Anyway,” I say, walking back to the other side of the bar. “We need to get started on this food before
we get too drunk. Enough about psychopaths.”

We get far too drunk, burn the apple pie, and manage to burn the roast’s vegetables too. Luckily, the
ham is saved. Now, I’m curled up in Raze’s lap outside on the patio, watching Melissa do cannonballs
into the pool. She’s had way too much to drink, and I can see Hella is a second away from dragging her
home. We’re the perfect family.
“Babe,” Raze says, kissing my head. “We need to ta—”
“No. Not right now.” I know he wants to talk about the person who tried to ram me off the road. We’re
still no closer to knowing who it was, but I know Raze won’t rest until he’s found. It hurts my head to
even think of all the stuff we have to deal with. So for now, I just want to not worry about it.
He squeezes me into him more, and I know he’s struggling with me telling him no. For a man who has
been raised to not feel human emotions, he’s coping with it well.
Amy walks over to us, with Miles behind her. Miles refuses to have anything other than a co-parenting
relationship with Amy. I guess it’s a good thing, because at least they’re both civil about it for Little J’s
sake.
I reach out for him, and Amy places the little monster in my arms. Leaning down, I blow raspberries
into his neck before placing him on Raze’s lap. Pain flashes over his face, but he pulls Little J into him
anyway. I know he’s grown on Raze. It’s hard not to when he’s that cute. Even someone as emotionally
challenged as Raze struggles with Little J’s cuteness.
“We’re going to take him back to my place. He’s tired and it’s been a long day.”
I nod. “Don’t forget his presents.” I may have gone a little crazy when purchasing everyone’s
Christmas presents. After months of fighting over Raze giving me my own card to access the accounts, I
gave in and spent a huge amount on Christmas decorations, food, and presents. That’ll teach him for
pushing the issue around this time of year. The house looks like a reindeer took a shit all over it. Tinsel is
hanging over doorframes and up the stairwell, and there are Christmas lights hanging in different areas of
the house. I love it. Christmas makes me fuzzy.
Surprisingly though, Raze didn’t put up a fuss. He just shrugged and left me to do as I pleased. So I got
nosy and wanted to know exactly how much money was in his account. After the seventh digit, I lost count
and almost fainted. Miles had come into Raze’s study, seeing me on his computer. When he saw my
shocked face, he rounded the table and looked down at the screen. “Ahh,” he said. “You’ve found the
riches!”
“Miles,” I answered, “this is a lot of fucking money!”
Miles shrugged. “Raze is a very wealthy man, puddin’.”
After that, I went with it.
“You know….” Melissa starts, walking up to us and drying her hair. I hadn’t noticed, because I was
too spaced out, but Amy and Miles already left.
“What?” I ask, leaning back into Raze.
“One of us needs to get married. Mom is getting itchy.”
I shrug. “Take one for the team then.”
She laughs. “Nuh-uh.” Taking a seat beside us. “It will fill Hella’s head more about wanting ten kids.”
I scoff, and Raze shuffles underneath me. Looking back to Melissa, I prompt, “He wants ten kids?”
She nods. “No lie. He wants a whole Brady bunch.”
“Fuck that.”
“Right? So anyway, sorry, but it’s going to have to be you two.”
I scoff again. “No, it’s not.”
Raze chuckles from behind me. “Why not?”
I whip around to face him. “What?” We’ve never talked about marriage. Hell, I was pretty certain
Raze didn’t believe in it at all.
“Don’t act surprised, babe.” Raze smirks, lifting his glass to his mouth. He shrugs. “There was no one
before you, and there sure as fuck will be no one after you.”
Melissa is grinning so hard her face looks like it’s going to split. I look back at her with a scowl.
“You!”
Melissa shrugs, standing and snatching her clothes off the ground. “You’re welcome.” Then she walks
away. Bitch.
I swing my legs over and straddle Raze’s lap. Cocking my head, I wrap my fingers around the back of
his neck. Searching his eyes, I ask, “Are you serious? She’s gone now, so you don’t have to—”
He laughs, throwing his head back. “You and I both know I don’t give a fuck what she thinks or says.”
He leans forward, catching my bottom lip between his teeth. “Yes,” he growls so hard my chest flutters.
“If there ever was a girl I was going to marry, it’d be you.”
I can’t help it. My smile splits my face in two. “Ever the romantic.”
He pulls me into him more, laughing and kissing my head. Meadow and Beast took Ivy home early, but
they stayed longer than what we assumed they would. Beast is fiercely overprotective, and any little sign
of discomfort from his little girl makes him drop to his knees. I’m not going to lie; the man is in deep shit
where she’s concerned, because she is adorable. Soft blue eyes, dark lashes, dark hair, identical little
dimples in each cheek—like Meadow’s, and yeah, he has a problem.
 “Okay,” I breathe. “I’m ready to talk.” He searches my eyes then nods, taking my hand and pulling me
to my feet.
“Come on.” We walk inside the house, through the sitting room, and past the kitchen, until we’re at the
bottom of the stairs. We’re about to go upstairs when the front door opens and Soulless walks in.
I relax a little. “You scared the shi—”
He draws his gun and points it at both me and Raze.
RAZE PUSHES ME BEHIND HIM and narrows his eyes. “What the fuck are you doing?”
Soulless cocks his head. “Basement. Move.” Panic rushes up inside of me, and I look to Raze.
“You motherfucker.” Raze scoffs, shaking his head.
“Move!” Soulless barks, pointing his gun toward the door that leads down to the basement. I look
outside briefly, watching Melissa and Hella messing around in the pool, while Ella sits as far away from
Frost as possible, talking with Joker on the edge. Soulless bites out, “I said fucking move. Before I shoot
you.”
Raze growls, his lip curling up in a snarl. “You will regret this.” Then we start walking down to the
basement, where two other men are waiting for us with ski masks covering their faces.
“Fuck,” one of them mutters nervously, glancing between up.
Yeah, fuck is probably right.
The other one looks to him, widening his eyes in silence, while Raze takes a seat on his throne.
“Make this quick,” Raze says, grinning at Soulless. Anyone would think he’s in charge right now, not
the man with the gun. “Because these are your final moments.”
Soulless chuckles, unbuttoning his suit jacket and taking a seat. “Oh, you’re mistaken.”
Raze’s face morphs into silent anger, his jaw ticking slowly and his eyes not moving from Soulless.
He reaches out, his fingers snaking around my thigh before he tugs me down to his lap.
Soulless looks at me, his eyes dripping with hate. I stiffen at his staring as flashes from the accident
come back to me. “Oh my God,” I whisper, looking at Soulless. “It was you who ran into me.”
His hate still evident on his face, his lip kicks up in a smirk. “Oh, so she gets it?”
Raze stiffens under me, every muscle in his body stoic. “Thirty seconds,” Raze growls.
He chuckles again. “Who’s holding the gun, Raze?”
“Twenty-nine. I don’t need a gun, but you already know that.”
Soulless laughs heartily. “You wanna know why?” He stands from his chair, but if I didn’t know any
better, I’d say he’s deliberately staying far away from Raze.
“Twenty-seven.”
Soulless ignores Raze’s counting. “She has sidetracked you.” He points the gun at me.
“Twenty-four.”
He moves around the table. “All you give a fuck about now is her. What happened to the executioner,
Raze?”
“The executioner is still alive and kicking,” Raze murmurs softly, looking right at him. “But he also
has men to do that side of shit for him now.” He pauses, his eyes remaining on Soulless, before
whispering, “Twenty-one.”
Soulless, still ignoring the countdown, laughs again, his head tipping back before looking at me. “She
needs to go.” He cocks his head.
“One.”
Raze launches off his chair just as the gun goes off and a gust of wind hurls past my mouth. In an
instant, Raze has Soulless’ throat in his grip as he seethes.
“Where’s the bullet?” I scream, panting and getting back to my feet. I look at Raze and see blood
coming out of his back. “Oh no.” Raze’s elbow swings back, his fist hitting Soulless’ face with a crunch,
knocking him to the floor. He kneels down near him, looking up to the two men he brought with him. “If
you want to live to see another day, I would fucking run!” They both look at each other, nod, and then
retreat out the side sliding door.
I run toward Raze, checking his back, and then look at the floor. “Exit,” I mutter. “It came out.”
Raze gets to his feet, hand still clamped around Soulless’ throat.
“Should I get one of the boys?” I ask Raze, my eyes staying on Soulless. He killed my baby.
Raze shakes his head. “Nah, babe. This one is ours.” Understanding sets in. “You think you can handle
this?” he asks carefully.
“He killed Iris,” I whisper, my throat tightening and my hand coming up to soothe it before my
shoulders square. My tone drops. “Of course I can.”
I’m going to get retribution for my girl if it’s the last fucking thing I do. If I die doing it, I’ll die happy.
Raze drops Soulless’ body onto one of the chairs, checking him for more weapons before walking to the
sliding door and closing it. I lean against the table, crossing my legs in front of me.
“I don’t even hate you,” I say, anger dripping from my tone. “You don’t deserve hate from me.”
Soulless laughs, his shoulders slackening in defeat. I nudge my head. “Who were you working for?”
“No one,” he growls. “I don’t work for or with anyone, and I don’t fucking answer to no bitch.”
I can be a bitch, so I don’t take offense to that at all. I’d rather insult him.
“Then who were those two little Chihuahua’s you brought with you? You know…” I push off the table,
going to Raze and slipping my hand beneath his suit jacket, where I know he keeps his military-grade
knife. Raze looks down at me, his eyes searching mine. He nods his head and I slide the blade out of its
pocket. Spinning around, I look at Soulless, running my finger down the blunt side of the blade. “The ones
who,”—I bend down in front of him, placing my hands on each arm rest, caging him in—“ran with their
tails between their legs.” Bringing the blade to just under his throat, I grip the material of his collar,
slicing the blade downward until his shirt splits from the middle and his torso is on full display for me.
I tilt my head, studying his stomach. “Do you know what it’s like to feel so much love for someone
you haven’t met yet? Someone who is half of you and half of the one person in this world you love more
than anything?” My eyes snap to his. “Of course you don’t.” I bring the knife down to his lower abdomen,
gliding it to the side of his hip. I peer up at him, his face blank. “You may not be able to understand the
emotional side of that pain, but I can make you feel the physical side.” Then I sink the knife into his flesh,
his breath catching, trying to keep his screams contained.
I look up at him again, my eyes boring into his, all emotion gone. Retribution. Slowly, I slice the knife
across his lower abdomen. Revenge. His flesh slowly tugs and pulls against the knife until he can no
longer contain his agony and a blood-curdling howl breaks out of his mouth. Pain. Once the slit is
finished, ending on the other side of his gut, and his blood is seeping all over my hands, I smirk up at him.
“You stole my little girl.” Then I look down to his crotch.
Soulless’ head is hunched over, spit dripping from his mouth, and his eyes are hooded in pain. “Fuck
you, bitch.”
Bringing my elbow back, I launch the knife into his dick and he screams again, his head tossing back.
Standing to my feet, I look over my shoulder at Raze, blood all over my hands.
He steps forward, taking my hand and pulling me into his chest. Gripping his fingers around my chin,
he tilts my head up. “Let me finish this.”
To the sweetest little angel.
Realizing that not only had Soulless killed our baby and tried to kill me—twice—but he also betrayed
Raze, I nod and step aside. Raze drops his hand and smirks at me, his palm dragging down over my
breast. “Seeing you with blood on this perfect skin still gets my dick hard.”
I smirk at him, waving toward Soulless. “Sic ‘em, boy.”
His lip kicks up in a grin, his eyes darkening as he walks toward Soulless. He kneels down,
examining the cut I made over his stomach that looks like a rough C-section cut.
“My girl is a little unhinged when it comes to the people she loves. It’s one of the many things I love
about her.” Raze cocks his head. “She has this perfect blend of crazy and sane.” Raze drops the knife.
“Me though?” he starts. “I’m completely fucking insane.” Then he launches his hand into the wound and I
flinch. “Baby, close your eyes.”
“I’m fine.”
“Close your eyes.”
That was an order. I shut my eyes, letting the cloak of my lids shut out any visuals. But the sounds?
The sounds I will remember forever. A splattering jumble of heavy plops sound out and I cringe, but
always my nosy self, I open my eyes when the graphic noises finish.
“Oh my God!” Looking at the bloody pool of organs at Soulless’ feet, I hunch over, clutching my
stomach. Breath in and out, slow intakes of breath.
Glancing back up, Soulless is now pale, his eyes peering right at me as his head drops to the side. But
that’s not what holds my attention. It’s the pile of human organs lying at his feet that does. It looks like
Raze pulled every single organ out of his body.
Raze stands, stepping on Soulless’ intestines as he walks toward me. “Come here.”
I throw my arms around his neck, burying my head under his jaw. He pulls back, searching my eyes. “I
fucking love you, Millie.”
“I love you, too,” I answer, looking at his lips. He drops them down onto mine, his tongue diving into
my mouth. I take it. Licking my tongue over his and sucking it into my mouth, the taste of metallic revenge
tingles the tip of my tongue. He presses into me again, his cock rubbing against my stomach, and he growls
as his hands grip around the backs of my thighs, lifting me up and slamming me down on the boardroom
table.
Everything else slowly dies out as he rips my blouse open, the buttons flying across the room. Sitting
up on the table, he rests between my legs and I wrap them around his waist, grinding against his cock,
needing to feel him inside of me, needing him to fill what feels like an everlasting void. He crawls up my
body until I’m lying flat on my back and he’s unbuttoning his pants after unbuckling his belt.
“Holy fuck!” Miles walks in from the sliding door, and Raze and I both freeze. Miles ignores us and
just looks down at the mess on the floor in front of Soulless. “You two having fun without me?”
Raze and I both burst out laughing. He rolls off me, doing up his belt, and I clutch my blouse, holding
it together while propping myself up on my elbows. Miles looks to us, grins, and then leans against the
door. “The fucking kink in you two remains unmatched. Can I play?”
I roll my eyes, jumping off the table.
Miles steps inside then plops into a chair. “What happened?”
After Raze and I replay everything back to Miles, slowly watching his anger seep in as each word
comes out, he gets to his feet and walks toward Soulless. Unbuckling his belt, he pulls his dick out.
“Oh my God, Miles!” Please don’t fuck him. Please, please don’t tell me necrophilia is another
thing to add to the Miles’ list.
 Then his head rests back as he begins pissing on the organs and then on Soulless’ body. Shaking
himself off, he turns back to me and Raze. “It’s done.”
I look at Raze. “Do we know if he was working with anyone?”
He shakes his head. “I don’t think he was. It wasn’t Ikea, baby, so calm down. Angel and I already
sorted that.”
I nod, understanding it in some sense, but still not happy about it. I want that bitch’s head on a stick.
Just then, Frost, Hella, and the rest of The 6—who I guess should now be The 5—walk in.
“Holy fuck!” Hella shouts, taking in the mess on the ground and then to my open blouse. “I
underestimated your level of fuckery, little sis.”
Frost grins, his eyes gleaming with mischief. “I didn’t. I always knew she had it in her. But anyway,”
he looks down at the mess, “this is the shit I’m into. Why’d you skip out on us?”
Raze shakes his head. “This was a little too personal.” He grins. “Next time though, I wouldn’t mind
doing a hunt with you.” Frost looks at him.
I swallow. “Y’all are crazy.” Like a pack of lions. Who talks about killing people like it’s a hunt? My
guys—that’s who.
Arms wrap around my waist from behind and Miles throws me over his shoulder, singing Ruelle’s
“Monsters”. The same song we played the night he got me drunk for the first time.
I hit his back, stalling his retreat. “Put me down.”
He chuckles, placing me back to my feet. “Puddin’.” He takes a bow.
I giggle, “Sire,” matching his bow. We all walk out the sliding door and make our way to the pool
from the backyard. Raze looks over to Rufus and nudges his head over his shoulder. “It’s a messy one.
You’ll need the team.”
Rufus nods. “Done.” I’m so thankful for all Rufus does. I need to talk to Raze about him getting a pay
raise, even though I’m sure Raze already pays well. Once we come around to the pool area, my eyes land
on Melissa instantly. She’s chatting with Ella, both of their legs dipping into the pool. Standing up, they
both walk toward us, noticing our faces and the blood on Raze and me.
“Do I even want to know?” Ella rolls her eyes casually, but still checks over Raze. “You’re fucking
shot!”
Raze takes her hand away. “I’ll be fucking fine. I’ll call Bella.”
I reach into my pocket and call her right away, not wanting to take it lightly. Raze is a big man, and as
far as I know, he’s had his fair share of bullets in him, but I’m still me, and I need him in one-hundred
percent in working order.
“Bella’s on her way,” I tell him, pushing the phone back into my pocket.
Frost smirks just as headlights pull up, brightening up the trees in the backyard. “I gotta bounce.”
I look up to Raze, confused. He nods and then looks to Ella.
“Where to?” I ask Frost, since no one else seems to be in a hurry to tell me anything. I look down to
his cut, where it once said “The Devil’s Own MC Las Vegas, Nevada.” It now reads “The Devil’s Own
MC NOMAD.”
“Oh no.”
Frost nods. “Oh yes.”
“What the fuck is going on?” Ella blurts out, her hands on her hips.
Frost looks to Ella, the first time I’ve ever seen him look at her directly and she straightens. Then he
simply winks at her, before walking toward the porch door, through the house, and out the front door.
Ella stares absently. “Someone wanna tell me what the hell is going on?”
I look to Raze, and then to Hella, noticing none of them are going to say anything. Rolling my eyes, I
say, “Frost is gone, honey.”
“Gone where?”
 I pause, biting down on my bottom lip. “He’s gone to Ikea.”
She stares blankly at the front door and then shrugs, wiping any emotion off her face. “Why was that
so hard for anyone to tell me?” she scoffs, folding her arms in front of herself. “I’m going to college, and
like anything he does concerns me.” She turns around, picking up her towel and walking inside the house
then up the stairs.
Exhaling, I look to Melissa. “You or me?”
She shakes her head. “You have blood on you. I’ll go.”
“Speaking of….” Raze says, gripping the backs of my legs and throwing me over his shoulder.
“This is the second time in fifteen minutes I’ve been cavemanned!” I yell from under his thick
muscles, my head swinging as he walks toward the sliding door.
He laughs, slapping my ass. “Oh, baby, and it won’t be your last.”
I SMILE, LOOKING OUT TO the live city that’s lit up under the setting sun. Snuggling under Raze’s arm as we
sit on the hood of his car, I nuzzle into his warmth and ruffle inside the paper bag, taking out a nugget. As I
bite down on it, he smiles at me. “You’re still cute as fuck. You know that, right?”
I giggle. “You mean to tell me after all this time, after all the deaths, the crazy, the heartbreak, the
killing, the drama, you still think I’m cute?” I smile up at him, the wind gushing through my hair.
He brushes the strands away, running the cushion of his thumb across my bottom lip. “Yeah, babe.”
His voice is low and lazy. “You’re mine until forever ends.”
Tears spring to my eyes. I don’t know if it’s because we’re at our parking spot, eating nuggets and
locked in each other’s embrace, but I wish I could bottle up this moment and hold onto it, carry it with me
always.
Leaning up, I press my lips to his. “And when forever ends, I’ll continue to love you.”
He smiles against my lips just as another car pulls up behind us. Clearing the tears from my eyes, I
peek over my shoulder and see Miles jump out of his car, walking toward us with a grin. He stands on the
other side of me, leaning against the hood of the Ferrari, saying nothing but keeping his eyes locked on the
bright city lights.
I take his hand in mine, looking up at him. “No more dying on me, okay?”
He smiles, glances down at me, and then looks to Raze before coming back to me. “Yeah, puddin’.
Okay.”
I lean my head on Raze’s shoulder. I can see him look to Miles out of the corner of my eye.
“Oh! Fuck! Sorry.” Miles laughs awkwardly. “I almost forgot why I was here. All”—he flings his
fingers around—“caught up in the moment.”
“Miles,” Raze growls.
Miles digs into his front pocket, and then tosses Raze a box. “Sorry, bossman. Thought I lost it.” He
winks at Raze and then leans back on the hood, crossing his legs in front of himself. Confused, I look back
to Raze and he stares down at the box.
“This was my mom’s. It’s probably the only thing I have left of her,” he says, popping open the box.
“Holy shit!” I gasp.
He takes the delicate yet strikingly huge diamond ring out. Taking my hand with his other, he looks up
at me. “I wasn’t kidding when I said I wanted to marry you, baby.”
Swallowing, he slides the heavy platinum ring of perfection over my finger. “Just tell me you’ll be
mine forever.”
 Tears stream out of my eyes and my jaw drops. “Nothing can change that.” Bringing my hand to his
cheek, I run my fingers down his face and over his plump lips. Dropping my mouth to his, I plant little soft
kisses on his lips.
“Imma need one of those too.” Miles grins as he comes up next to me. I laugh, shoving both of them
with my shoulders. The two men who turned my life upside down and completely took hold of the reigns,
and now I can’t live without them. As I launch into Raze’s arms, he wraps his around my waist. I smile as
Breaking Benjamin’s “Ashes of Eden” plays from the stereo, and when he places me back down on my
feet, I go up on my tippy toes, planting a kiss on his lips.
I’m a breath away from him when arms wrap around me from behind and Miles throws me over his
shoulder. I laugh as he swings me around, dancing to the music, and then he places me on my feet.
Gripping onto his top to stop the spinning, my eyes lock onto Raze, who is still leaning against the hood of
the car, grinning at both of us.
“Come here, baby.”
I smirk, flicking the ring around on my finger, and launch myself at him again.
“Always?” he asks into my hair.
“Always.” I cry, swiping my tears. “Until forever ends.”
“And when forever ends, I’ll continue to love you,” he replies, pressing a kiss onto the ring that will
now permanently be planted on my finger.
“And me too, ‘cause you will never get rid of me. And even if you tried, I’d follow you, ‘cause I’m a
good friend like that. Anyway! I wanted—”
“Miles!” Raze snaps. “Shut the fuck up.”
Where time begins… until forever ends…

“SO ANYWAY, BABY GIRL. THAT’S how your mommy and daddy started their story.” I pat the cool pearl
marble headstone, running my rough palm over it. “The end is only the beginning, and we miss you every
single day, Iris.”
I fight the tears that are trapped behind my eyes. Never cried in my life, but if there was any one
person who deserves my tears, it’s my little girl.
“Daddy loves you. I may not be able to show it how Mommy shows it, or how Uncle Miles does, but I
do,” I whisper. “I loved you before I even knew you, and not even your mommy had that on me.” I grin.
“And she pretty much has everything on me.” I chuckle, taking a seat on the grass and leaning against the
headstone, tapping the pink, purple, and blue wind charm.
After a while, I stand to my feet, dust off the dirt from my jeans, bend down, and place a final kiss on
her headstone. “You’ll always be my angel.”

The End
 The Devil Should Run (The Devil’s Own #4)
Coming soon.
Psychopath

noun

A person suffering from chronic mental disorder with abnormal or violent social behavior.
synonyms: madman/madwoman, mad person, deranged person, maniac, lunatic, psychotic, sociopath

- informal
an unstable and aggressive person.
- informal/2
FR O S T

Since I was a little girl, I have been surrounded by hate, death, murder, and slavery. I’ve been guarded my
whole life by my brother—kingpin of the underworld and the most feared individual in the United States
of America. And then furthermore guarded when I found out the president of The Devil’s Own MC was
my long-lost half-brother. Being tossed around from one extreme protection to another has left a part of
me yearning to break out of its cage.
Panting, wanting, needing to unleash the side of me I’ve always known was there.
My secret is mine.
No one knows what I hide or why I hide it. How I fight for love, because if I didn’t, my rage would
win and I’d be a mere shadow of the girl they’ve grown to know.
But I broke.
And the man who held the hammer to the shattered walls I spent years building to cage in my rage—is
a psychopath.
I’m always terrified that I’m leaving someone out when I write my acknowledgements, because there are
just so many incredible people who have contributed to my writing career one way or another, whether it
be their friendship, their advice, or their eyes. This doesn’t go in order. I’m totally winging it (surprise,
surprise). I want to start with a huge thank you to these girls: Caro Richard, Andrea Florkowski, Franci
Neil, Michel Prosser, and Amy Halter: my beta team! Thank you for caring about my stories enough to tell
me when something is shit.

Isis Te Tuhi, Anne Malcom, and Caro Richard: my girls. I adore each of you, thank you for being there for
me every day—no joke, I hit them up every single day. Nina Levine, for being your sweet self and being
there for me for anything, I adore you! My Wolf Pack, I can’t shout out how much I love these girls.
They’re my tribe, at times my rock, and above all—my girls. Jay Aheer for the beautiful cover, you
talented little human. Kayla Robichaux for being my top bish, my soul sister, and my editor! Barbra
Hoover for polishing my words at the very end and always doing it in such a respectable way. The girls
from Give Me Books, for all the hard work they put into promoting authors like me! You girls are the real
MVP. To the bloggers, I can’t express how much I admire and love you all. Thank you for all that you do!
My loyal, amazing, sassy readers: I love you HARD. None of this would be possible without all of your
undying support, thank you! Last but not least, my little family. There have been times where you’ve all
had to live on Weetbix (hey, kiwi kids and all that…), toast, and leftovers. There have been times when
I’ve had to lock myself away and ignore you, because I had either found my flow or I was on a deadline
(they never come at the same time. Oh no, that would be too easy). Love you, munchkins! For us! To my
other half, for always holding it down when I need it and for being supportive through it all. Think this is
long enough? I think so.
 OTHER BOOKS by Amo Jones

Razing Grace: Part 1

Razing Grace: Part 2

The Silver Swan

Perilous Love (Sinful Souls MC, #1)

Intricate Love (Sinful Souls MC, Volume 2)
Tainted Love (Sinful Souls MC, Volume 3)

One Hundred & Thirty-Six Scars (The Devil’s Own, #1)

Hellraiser (The Devil’s Own, #2)

F*ucker

Losing Traction (Westbeach, #1)