Ryan Baka

LBST 2301

1636 Words

11/5/2023

A Good Life

What defines a “Good Life” and how does one go about living it? These are just a few of the questions I

searched for the answers to in my interview. A good life is something that can be very subjective so it is

hard to put a definite answer on either of these questions. Although it is tough to find an answer for these

questions I still decided to find out the perspective and thoughts on this topic from one individual in my

interview.

For my paper I decided to interview my mother, Tanya Hennessee. She is a follower of Christ and

a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and that if you work hard you will be rewarded. The

most important thing to her is family and she would do anything for the ones she loves. She was born in

Lexington, North Carolina, December 21st, 1973 and has lived there her entire life. Growing up in a small

town she decided to leave for college to become a veterinarian but ultimately switched to, and got a

degree in, nursing. After graduating she returned back to Lexington to be close to family and began to

work at the county health department where she has worked for the last 24 years. She has worked

tirelessly to help people as much as she can and she is an amazing person who has given so much of her

own time to help other people who she does not even know.

Over the time between her college graduation and the present day she met and married my father,

had me and my older brother, divorced my father and then met and married my step father with whom she

has been married to for the past 12 years. During my time growing up, especially during the time between

her and my fathers divorce and the marriage of her and my step father, my mother had sacrificed

everything in her own life to make sure me and my brother were taken care of. I never noticed it at the

time because I was a child but when I look back I realize everything she has done for the two of us.

Waking up at five in the morning everyday to get ready for work herself, then wake me and my brother
up, get us ready for school, go to work for nine hours, come home, make dinner, clean the house, take

care of animals, help my grandparents, help with homework and everything else that needed to be done

just to go to bed and do the same thing the next day. She sacrificed friendships, a social life, romantic

relationships and many other things that I am sure she would have loved to have done or experienced but

she did it to help her family and the ones she loves. After giving all of this up she still tells us how happy

she is and that she would not have changed anything so I knew she would be perfect for an interview on

this topic.

During the interview I asked my mother the following questions and she gave the corresponding

answers:

What is a good life?

“ To me a good life is one that has balance between work, family, personal, physical, and

spiritual. I believe you need to have an inner peace with yourself where you can have those quiet times to

really connect with your inner thoughts and your own personal relationship with God. I think you also

need to have those close family relationships where you have support and can offer that to others, but also

have a different dividing line between personal life and work.”

How does one go about living a good life?

“ I think you live day by day. There are some things that need to be planned out like big

vacations, etc. because we all need things to look forward to, but we need to live day by day. Appreciate

where we are for today.”

How is happiness defined and understood?

“I think this depends on the person. I think happiness is what makes the individual feel good

about themselves and where they are in life with other people as well as themselves. As far as being

understood, I think it is all in how people express it. Everyone is different so everyone will understand or

comprehend it in a different way. I think in general most would agree happiness would generate an overall

elevated, inner warmth feeling in my opinion.

What were your best and worst experiences?

“My best experiences were probably the birth of my children. Just realizing I had a part in

bringing them into the world was a miracle. Looking in their face and holding them the first time, in my

opinion, would be the happiest experience I could ever imagine. My worst experience would probably be

having to care for people in the medical field that were given detrimental news like a miscarriage or

diagnosed with cancer. Watching their family go through the stress and emotions while caring for them

and at times losing them was very difficult. It makes you really appreciate things in life.”

What would you add to your life right now?

“If I could add anything right now, I would probably add more time for my family. My parents

are getting older and need more assistance at times. It would be nice to help them. It would also be nice to

spend more time with my kids.”

Do you have any regrets?

“In some ways I wish I had stayed in Veterinary Science and became a Veterinarian. But, for the

most part I have enjoyed my human patients.”

Are you where you thought you would be?

“I figured I would live near my family for the most part, even though we would like to eventually

move to the mountains. I didn’t see myself in public health per se but it has been good for my family over

the years.”

What’s one event you would go back to and why?

“I would go back to my university college graduation event. I skipped it to go to the beach and

wished I had attended for the experience.”

What advice would you like to give me?

“I would say to live day by day. Don’t stress stuff down the road because it won’t change things

and stress and the work will be there every day. Work hard. Anything worth having is worth working for.

Stand up for yourself but don’t be afraid to admit when you're wrong. Be humble but stand up for what’s

right.”
 Throughout my interview with my mother I noticed that many of the things she said aligned with

some of the main points in “The Happiness Hypothesis” by Jonathan Haidt. A few of the points that Haidt

writes about in his book and my mother also talked about in her interview is reciprocity, social

connections and relationships, and the role of religion in someone's happiness. In chapter three of his

book Haidt discusses reciprocity and humans benign ultrasocial creatures. Haidt writes that “people

experienced longer lasting improvements in mood from the kindness and gratitude activities than from

those in which they indulged themselves”'(Happiness Hypothesis pg. 97). This represents the main basis

of reciprocity which is that human beings tend to treat others the way they either want to be treated or the

way they are treated. I think that my mother displayed this concept in the interview, caring for many

people that she does not know at all and always trying to do what is right and benefits other people even if

it takes extra time out of her day after work.

Another topic discussed in both Haidt's book and my interview is the topic of the value of human

relationships and connections. In chapter five Haidt discusses sources of happiness and uses the Book of

Ecclesiastes to promote the claim that money cannot buy happiness. This theme is also seen in the

responses that my mother provided in her interview. This shows that true happiness comes from

relationships with other people and experiences and not money because when I asked my mother what she

would add to her life if she could add anything she did not respond with millions of dollars. Instead she

said that she would want the ability to spend more time with her family. She also said “I think you also

need to have those close family relationships where you have support and can offer that to others” when

asked what a good life is.

Another common theme between Haidt’s writings and the interview with my mother is the

importance of religion in happiness. In chapter nine of his book Haidt describes the importance religion

can play in individuals lives and when asked my mother said “I believe you need to have an inner peace

with yourself where you can have those quiet times to really connect with your inner thoughts and your

own personal relationship with God”. This shows the connection between Haidt's writings and my

mothers thoughts on where happiness comes from.

 In the end I think that this interview was very productive and I enjoyed being able to hear my

mothers responses to these questions. I enjoyed being able to connect Haidt’s writings to what my mother

had to say because it showed how what he wrote wasn’t just writing but it is also philosophies and ideas

people live their lives by everyday to try and find real happiness. I found that I agree with a lot of what

both of them had to say and that happiness comes from social relationships and being able to have

connections with other people we care about.