Anger, wrath, or rage. The common words we use when we talk about anger.

Anger is the
emotion that destroys more lives than having them to gain anything out of them. Anger had
taken over my life for the past 5 years and it can destroy you without you seeing or even
feeling that it is destroying you little by little. It’s a ticking time bomb that is waiting to
explode at any minute, more especially if you keep suppressing it because you just want to
make others happy. That’s how dangerous anger can be.

When someone breaks trust between the 2 of you in a relationship nothing will ever be the
same. Whether that person is family, friend or your significant other, it will hurt you. When I
was 15 years, I was sexually assaulted by my uncle. He was the one person whom I adored
more than my father. When I told his wife, it was like I was talking to a love-struck puppy.
She decided to believe him more than me. He came back to me at night and threatened to kill
me if I tell my parents about this and he then again did it to me. That’s when I became
zombie.

The betrayal that I felt when I was betrayed by the person that I used to call my best friend in
front of my family and friends was the one betrayal that I can’t get over. Even today, I still
ask myself why he did this or was I not good enough to be loved by him like his daughter. I
was hurt by the fact that when it came to my sisters, he treated like his own whilst I was
assaulted by him every time he came home or fetched us. I even resented myself to the point
where I felt disgusting, like germs that are contagious. I felt like if I let people close to me,
they will also go through what I went through. Anger took over the most when he had always
told me that he owns me, and nobody can take me away from him.

When you try to get help, but you’re not even believed by the justice system is even worse.
The government always tells us to be faithful in the justice system but all we get is just
laughter from them and being told that we are wasting the resources. Anger becomes the
leader, and it can supress any feeling that you can feel inside. When Dela Gwala turned to the
police for assistance, “They made me repeat everything I had said in the first interview. They
accused me of giving the wrong information. They treated me like I was a liar – like I was the
criminal. I met their accusations with as much as anger and defiance as I could muster
( Gwala ).

The pain of not being believed when you are just trying to feel protected is one of the worst.
Pain and Anger by Donovan Bob Immerman was the one thing that I could relate to at that
time. When you feel like nobody understands you and the things you go through. It feels like
people are just not even willing to support you and you’re alone in all of this. That’s when I
had anger issues and didn’t want anyone besides me because no one couldn’t support me, and
most people believed him over me even the police.

Traumatic events like thins leave you with questions in your head that can never be resolved
or even answered, like why did it happen to me? Was it because I don’t deserve anything
good in life. A lot of questions and feel like the people whom you call our loved ones didn’t
even protect you like they promised to, and you get angry at everyone and even tell things
that can cause friction between you and your loved ones. You can even tell them the hurtful
words or even spill secrets that you weren’t supposed to say to anyone.

That can be caused by supressing the anger inside of you. I usually stayed inside my room
and not talk to anybody because I knew that all the anger inside of me can destroy everything
and everyone around me. It manifested inside of me, and it made me ruthless, and I just
couldn’t take it anymore, but I held on. Being the first child is hard because parents always
tell to be strong even when it’s tough because I was told to be strong, I am the eldest
daughter, and my siblings are looking up to me so I must set a good example to them.

How can you set a good example, but you feel nothing but emptiness, resentment, wrath, and
rage inside. The pressure that we also get from the society can also manifest to the anger that
you already have inside. One day the anger that I had inside destroyed everything I had built
when I got in a fight at school with one of my friends who betrayed me and told one of my
classmates that I’m just a floozy who sleeps with everyone even my family members because
I just cant keep my legs closed.

Imagine, another person that you trusted the most has betrayed you. Nothing hurts more than
betrayal at its best. Being embarrassed by the person you trusted in front of everyone was the
one thing that took me off edge and it made me be seen like I was a rebel, and I wasn’t raised
right. That was my first school fight and she ended up in hospital and I got suspended. My
mother wasn’t even talking to me, and she even told me that she hates me, and I disappointed
her. The anger that comes out of this can even lead to anxiety, depression that can destroy
you completely. Gabriella Union is one of the celebrities that suffered depression after being
assaulted by a gang.

Anger can destroy everything around with just one meltdown. When Mark Twain said,
“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on
which it is poured.” This means that the anger that you store inside of you destroys you more
than it destroys others. Storing it inside of you can kill you little by little until there is nothing
left inside of you. Sadness and regret come after all of this rage is the one thing that makes
you see and think that you’re not worthy of living.

When Dela Gwala talks about Maya Angelou, on how she was her source of comfort when
after her tragedy of her being sexual assaulted to. The person I relate to the most because she
was also assaulted by her own uncle too and she decided to keep quiet for her sake because
she was actually breaking down deep inside, but she had an escape, and her escape was
writing books and poems to escape from the reality that she lives in. There is one poem that I
love the most that most assaulted women can relate to whenever they feel like giving up is
And Still I Rise.

When I first heard about this poem, it was the one thing that made me see that this will only
make me stronger and move forward from this. When she says

“Out of the huts of history’s shame

I rise
Up from a past that’s rooted in pain
I rise
I’m a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear

I rise
Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.”
This poem has told me that no matter how many hardships and battles life throws at you, no
matter how hurtful words your oppressor. No matter how much he cuts you down, or even
tries to kill you with his or her words, but you will still rise and be superior and rule over him
in the end.
We mostly believe that women are the ones that get hurt the most and get assaulted, they
have anger issues, and they are the only ones that are supposed to express them freely but
even men do get assaulted, but they can’t even speak out because they are afraid of being
laughed at by the public. We always paint men as the type of people who are always strong,
and they never speak up. In the end they get to supress everything inside, but it eventually
kills them.

Rikhado Muziwendlovu Makhado, better known as his stage name Riky Rick, suffered from
depression and he took his life because he couldn’t talk to anybody about his feelings and
how everything is too much for him. That is an eye opener to make men realise that crying is
not weakness but it’s a way of saying that you’re also human and you have feelings too like
any other human in the world. Creating a safe space for everyone is the one thing that matters
because anger can destroy them too because of the past experiences they went through.

We tend to hide our emotions because you simply do not want people to take advantage of
you at your lowest. That is why most people put on a brave face, more especially men. Poker
faces are the one thing that they always have to put on and block anything that will make
them resurface their feelings and become vulnerable in front of people. Anger is also treated
like a disease because they created organisations that can help with people who have anger
management issues.

Me, for example, after all of this tragedy I still suffer from anxiety, depression, and anger
issues. Psychologists are there to assist us in having to assist us in trying to overcome every
dark past and for anger, there are anger management. I have also took a decision to study it
because I also want to help other people to try and fight their demons and there are helplines
to even assist you in every way possible.

Even the public tend to use their anger to destroy because they want to be geard ands

#weareone #stoptheabuse #menandwomenareone #beheard #angerisnottheendoftheworld