Solis 1

Deion Solis

Professor Wesley Beard

English-110-25

Self-reflective essay

When thinking about my semester I think of a few words, lazy, unmotivated, and just flat

out not good. Poor mental health hit me about 2 weeks into October, and I let myself become a

victim to it for the first time in my life I turned over instead of getting up and pushing through. I

tried at the end to make a difference and finish strong, I did too little to late in my eyes. I very

much did enjoy this English class, it was one of the better English classes I’ve taken, but due to

prior experiences with English classes instead of putting an effort of reaching out when I needed

help, I instead stupidly chose to say silent. Now for someone like me who very much enjoys the

sound of their own voice that is abnormal, when I was sick and couldn’t get into a group for my

topic for the second essay instead of reaching out, I went silent and didn’t show up. I am

someone who has no problem asking for help so going quiet isn’t majorly unexpected. With all

these negatives, there were a few positives mainly me getting better as a writer. I’m not claiming

to be some great writer no not that, but am I a hell of a lot better than I was coming into Cal

Lutheran resoundingly yes. Still though I struggle with time management in everything I do but

especially writing. Why I take my time with it, I cannot give a definitive answer but I know that I

need to be more focused when it comes to writing. I feel my biggest strength with writing is that

I’m able to put what’s on my mind onto my paper, the way im able to transfer my thoughts onto
 Solis 2

paper is by far what I’m best at. To me my worst trait when writing has to be my inability to use

my time well, I struggle to sit down and focus on my work I feel I always distract myself.

My hope in moving forward in college is that I attempt to work on my inability to focus

and I continue to try and get stronger as a writer and as a student. I specifically want to work on

my research methods. Research papers are something I struggle with mostly because of the

research itself. When I do work, I always find a new way to completely distract myself from my

work. I feel next semester I need to find my own space where I can clear my mind and focus

everything on my work. I do feel hopeful for my next semester however, I feel excited to take on

new challenges that are going to come from new classes and a new semester, mostly im excited

to become a new a better student. I want to be a student next semester that voices he is

struggling. That’s my main goal for my second semester and time at college and that’s to learn

from my fault in this class and ask for help when I need it.

I just think most of my struggles come from my horrible procrastination I think that if I

could just get the work done and in, I wouldn’t have issues but I let myself drag on and on for

days instead of turning in my work which ultimately leads straight to my downfall. That’s

honestly my biggest takeaway is that it seems I’m so set on self-sabotage all the time like it

seems I want myself not to succeed in some odd self-hatred kind of way. So, I think I need to

turn in my work and turn it in on time, then I feel I will have all the tools ill need to succeed in

college. I realize all my success is completely dependent on me and me alone and when I need

help I need to reach out because at this school help is everywhere as long as you are asking for it.