Alucard and Seras go shopping

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/31695908.

Rating: Not Rated

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Fandom: Hellsing
Characters: Alucard (Hellsing), Seras Victoria, Integra Hellsing
Additional Tags: my first fic pls dnt hurt me funny? I hope
Language: English
Stats: Published: 2021-06-02 Words: 564 Chapters: 1/1
 Alucard and Seras go shopping
by Snowflakebanger369

Summary

They go shopping bois, that's it. This is my first fic and I love Hellsing with an unhealthy
passion that other people probably feel for you know...real people.

I don't own Hellsing sadly :(

'Police girl'

'Hey, police girl'

'Alucard, how many times, my name is Ser-'

'Police girl, these disposables are all staring at me'

Through gritted teeth, Seras whispered furiously through the crack in the changing room
door; 'Alucard, they are not 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦𝘴, they are PEOPLE, we spoke about this
previously.'

Silence.

'I thought you already owned garments police girl'

Seras was rapidly losing patience at this point. She had told Integra that she should take this
trip alone, that Alucard would only make trouble, but Integra had fixed her with a steely gaze,
informing her that as Alucards new 'childe' she must be accompanied by him on outings for
now.

Seras had a sneaking suspicion that this was less to do with ensuring her safety, and instead a
punishment-by-stealth for Alucard from Integra. The two had a relationship that she would
never understand. More and more she felt like a child being used as a pawn between two
divorcing parents.

It annoyed her no end.

For his part, Alucard had been every bit as annoying as she had expected. The man had one
outfit, he didn't understand the need for 'multiple garments' as he had termed it. In addition to
that, he had managed to make every single shop worker in his vicinity disappear after they
had made a quick appraisal of his general demeanour. This meant Seras had no way of asking
one of them if they could fetch her a rather cute turquoise top she liked in another size.

She decided to try the impossible: Ask Alucard to get it.

'Alucard?'

'Police girl?'

'My name is Ser-nevermind, thats not important right now. You see this top right here?' She
flung the top over the side of the changing room door.

'Yes'

'Well, it's too large, could you go and get me a smaller one from that rack near the shoes?'
There was silence for a minute. Seras waited with baited breath, hoping against hope she
wouldn't need to explain it all again.

She was stunned beyond belief when she heard 'yes' rumble grumpily out of her crimson-clad
companion.

Less surprising were the screams she heard later.

'Oh, piss' she exclaimed, quickly redressing and going to see what kind of unholy scene
Alucard had created.

What she saw was not what she expected.

Standing at his approximately 7ft height, towering over a soccer mom, stood Alucard, who
held one end of a turquoise top. The woman, the one doing the screaming, was holding the
other end.

'Police girl, there is only one of these left in your size, and this disposable wants it.'

Seras tried to step in to explain, but was cut off by the furious slew of f's and c-words that
then came from the soccer moms mouth. There were no society books written that explained
how to deal with this kind of situation. Seras cursed Integra under her breath before stepping
into the breach.

'Alucard, it's ok, I'll buy one another time, you can let go now'

Alucards glasses flashed, as he seemed to be trying to deal with this new request. Seras
waited, fingers crossed, until;

'Very well, disposable. You may have the garment'

He let go of the top and they made to leave, though not before Alcuard shot off one last
remark over his shoulder.

'By the way, that colour will look simply awful on you'

THE END
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