Crossing challenges 2

In an Indian set up, falling in love with someone with a different sub caste

itself is unacceptable, and Priya thinks of convincing her Brahmin family for an inter-

racial marriage. At a point she feels that the western culture is linked to her

intelligence and the Indian culture to her emotions. In her grandparents‘ home she is

treated like a puppet, no place is given for her wishes, dreams or opinions. Though it

is tough for her to withstand their rites and customs, traditions and patriarchal

domination she cannot do anything except counting her days to get back to Nick, the

comfort zone of her life. She finds it difficult to convince her conservative family.

Indians‘ perspective of marriage is so different when compared to people from most

western cultures. The Indian women or men will be seen as outcast and marginalized

if they happen to get married with a foreigner. On seeing the customs followed by

her Thatha‘s home Priya‘s ―feminine rage‖ (MS 69) gets increased.

Through this novel Malladi projects the tradition and culture of India in an

artistic way, the mango acts as the key image to bring back the memories and also as a

bond between the heroine and her homeland. During the mango season, when the

Brahmin women unite to make spicy and tangy mango pickles one can feel and sense

its delicious taste. Malladi paints her personal longings as an immigrant, towards her

motherland India through the character Priya. She cannot forget the sweetness of the
Indian mangoes, even after seven years of her life in United States, Priya says,

―Summer, while I was growing up, all about mangoes. Ripe, sweet mangoes that

dripped juices down your throat, down your neck. The smell of a ripe mango would

still evoke my taste buds, my memories, and for a while I would be child again and

it would be a hot summer day in India‖ (MS 2).

No empowerment can give an Indian woman, the power to overcome the

familial bondage and to cut the umbilical cord of her love towards her family.

Parental love acts as an invisible fence. Every cell in her body is bound by her

familial love. Although Priya is an empowered woman, she faces gender oppression

and cultural conflict in her own family. In a traditional patriarchal Indian family

system where arranged marriage is more common, she is left with hopelessness. She

is rebellious in her heart but reluctant to put her thoughts into words. Though she does

not carry any of the traditional views of her family, especially her grandfather, she

pretends like to be in tune with them. She considers that the bond with the family

members is important to preserve.

Malladi through the words of Priya represents the state of the whole Indian

women community regarding the arranged marriage system. She thinks that ―it was

barbaric to expect a girl of maybe twenty-one years to marry a man she knew less

than the milkman who, for the past decades, had been mixing water with the milk he

sold her family‖ (MS 1). The language, state and caste are considered predominant

and especially in an arranged marriage system of India. Malladi makes many funny

remarks and comments, that a man or woman should marry someone from their own

caste and language if not, they and their marriage will be considered as impure by

the family and the society.

 The difference between the Eastern and the Western world especially in the

status of women is clearly brought out. In the western nations women are fully

independent but in eastern countries like India they are still in the clutches of male

domination. The pathetic truth is they cannot express their opinions, thoughts,

feelings, emotions and ideas aloud. Priya compares her own father with her lover

Nick, Nick came to the airport to give a loving, caring and affectionate send off to

Priya but her father did not even drop her mother in the grandparents‘ home. She also

gets provoked by Ammamma‘s declaration that, ―White people are never good…

Look what the British did to us‖ (MS 101). The trip to India is like an overwhelming

experience to Priya, that she handles her internal conflicts so carefully to win the

hearts of her family and to make her dream come true.

The discriminatory attitudes towards the female gender is brought out by

Priya‘s mother who gives full independence to her son Natarajan, shortly known as

Nate but she wants her daughter to obey all her words. The girls‘ processes of the

moral development are in the hands of the mothers. As a male child her brother easily

escapes from her mother but Priya becomes a scapegoat. Her brother usually gives

reasons that he is going to visit his friends‘ homes but the state of girls in the Indian

families is always a different story. Even though she is working abroad, the gender

disparities remain and she has to follow all the rituals of her grandmother‘s home.

Preparing mango pickle is considered as one of their yearly ritual whether likes it or

not one has to do all necessary orders by the family.

Joint family system and the caste system are the basic pillars of the Indian

society. Thatha has two sons Jayant and Anand. Jayant‘s is an arranged marriage with

Lata but Thatha‘s expectation of the ―archaic joint family system‖ (MS 33) gets
shattered after the marriage. Lata after six months without consulting anyone just

moves to a flat with Jayant when Thatha ―argued, begged, and pleaded for her to

come back‖ (MS 33) she told that she does not want to live ―with people to whom she

was merely a cook and a maid‖ (MS 33). But when Anand marries Neelima, Thatha

accepts the traitorous daughter-in-law to give an heir to his family. Anand and

Neelima marry without the consent of the family, though Neelima is also a girl from

noble Brahmin heritage, she is a Maharashtrian. This makes everyone to think that she

is not a perfect match for Anand because they prefer only a Telugu Brahmin girl from

their own community. Yadav Raskar comments, ―In India, sometimes Brahmin

parents would say that Brahmin of any region is acceptable, but, in practice,

demanding efforts are made to find matches‘ in one‘s own linguistic and regional

groups‖ (5). When Priya distributes gifts to everyone and calls Neelima, Ammamma

says harshly, ―Why, did you bring her something? …She isn't really family… She

stole my little boy‖ (MS 39). Everyone knows that a grown up man cannot be drawn

into marriage out of innocence but the family claims that Anand is ―completely

innocent‖ (MS 39). On hearing this she thinks, ―At least ‗they‘ were Indian, I though

unhappily; my ‗they‘ was American and an un-devout Christian to boot‖ (MS 34).

In India, it is like a custom to be followed that a brother should get married

after the younger sister's marriage. When the women assemble to perform the ritual of

making mango pickle there are always some clashes even though Neelima is allowed

to participate, Ammamma pin points her whenever she gets chance. She says, ―Don't

mix the mangoes…Those are ours. Sowmya, you take care of them. Let us chop our

own mangoes. That way the good and bad mangoes won‘t get mixed‖ (MS 45).

Radha, Priya‘s mother accuses Neelima for marrying her brother Anand before the

marriage of their sister Sowmya for which Neelima replies that they cannot be
victimised because they were waiting for two years but Sowmya‘s marriage does

not get arranged and it is not their fault and it is unfair to corner them.

Neelima and Anand‘s marriage affects the family a lot and so Priya does not

want to do the same blunder again. Traditionally, in all societies, marriage and family

are considered to be society‘s most sacred institutions and they are the source of

comfort and nurture the members living within it. Every time Priya extends her

conversation with one of her family members, she is warned and reminded about the

consequences of Anand‘s marriage with Neelima.

Divorce is a sign of failure in India. Women possess traditional Indian values

to assess their individuality. Some think it is better to handle the stifling marriage

than the societal pressure that they would face after divorce because it ―was still not

common-place‖ (MS 80). Malladi clearly portrays the expectations in an Indian

arranged marriage system and how the physical beauty, charm, fairness, educational

qualification and family background play a significant role. The character Sowmya,

Priya‘s aunt suffers a lot due to the lack of good appearance and academic

qualification. She has her bachelor‘s degree in Telugu literature and she does not have

a job. With her educational qualification, she can only pursue a job like secretary or a

clerk in an office but according to the grandfather such type of jobs are not meant for

the women of rich Brahmin heritage. As Manu says in The Ordinances of Manu,

―No act is to be done according to (her) own will by a young girl, a young woman, or

even by an old woman, though in (their own) houses. In her childhood (a girl) should

be under the will of her father; in (her) youth, of (her) husband; her husband being

dead, of her sons; a woman should never enjoy her own will‖ (Music and Women

130). Women often take the internal turmoil also as God‘s blessings and console their
―self‖. They restrain themselves from their desires and force themselves to shift their

focus in order to save their honour and their familial bondage.

In an Indian family the quintessential trait of a woman is getting married.

Marriage is traditionally considered as the ultimate destiny for a woman. At a point

Sowmya stops worrying when the suitors reject her. Before she ―had kept count, but

now, almost ten years since the whole drama had begun, she had stopped‖ (MS 36)

and she tells Priya that ―Sixty-four matches and not one worked out‖ (MS 36). One

can feel the toughest part of a woman like Sowmya. She feels alienated in her own

family. Though she is the one who takes care of Ammamma and Thatha, she is just a

―burden‖ (MS 54). As Priya remarks, ―But what no one saw was that Sowmya‘s heart

was as big as the pot she used to make payasam in during festivals‖ (MS 34). Priya

loses her temper on the idea of Indian traditional marriage which ―is a business

transaction where bride-groom is judged by his job and income and bride by her

beauty and dowry‖ (MS 44). Through the plight of Sowmya, Malladi has exposed the

truths, traps, losses, hard realities, worries, depression, and the hazards that women

undergo while waiting for marriage after the marriageable age.

Malladi exposes the conditions of women who do not fit the predetermined

standard of beauty and how ugliness is the representation of unauthentic, fake,

useless, meaningless and unnecessary. A woman should be identified with her talents,

courage and intellect but not with beauty. Although Sowmya has a good, loving and

caring heart the family considers her only as a burden. The state of Sowmya is so

pathetic because the whole family corners her for being unmarried, they hurt her

intensely through their thoughts, words and action and one can feel it through the
words of Sowmya to Priya, ―I am so glad you are here…At least now they can

concentrate on you for being unmarried and leave me alone‖ (MS 41).

Indian parents are always keen on marrying off their daughters. The family is

worried about Sowmya and Priya‘s marriage and they are ―like a noose‖ (MS 36). The

aunt of Priya advises her to get married soon otherwise she ―may not be able to have

children‖ (MS 75). In Manju Kapur‘s A Married Woman the heroine Astha‘s mother

says, ―When you are married our responsibilities will be over. Do you know the

Shastra says if parents die without getting their daughter married they will be

condemned to perpetual rebirth?‖ (1). The women of her family think that women are

born only to get married and beget children. When Priya gets her seat in an

Engineering school, her Ma becomes happy not that her daughter will be settled with

a good career but she has ensured a good marriage match for her. Nothing brings

pride and joy to the Indian parents than marrying off their daughters at the

marriageable age. Priya‘s career at U.S is not a matter of pride for them. All they

bother about is the society they live in. Her Ma says, ―She is twenty-seven years old

and she won‘t marry. Our neighbours keep asking us and we have nothing to say. You

are an embarrassment, Priya. You have done nothing to make us proud. So if you

don‘t come back, it won‘t kill anyone here‖ (MS 90).

Malladi creates the father figures as supportive and positive. Daughters

receive more encouragement which improves their self-reliance and assertiveness

from their fathers. Mothers worry only about their daughter‘s marriage. They want to

bind them by the same roles society has imposed on them. Priya‘s father has a great

hope on her, when she complains that she is not allowed to cook as her Ma considers

―cleanliness was next to godliness‖ (MS 44) her Nanna would say that she is a ―career
woman and didn't need to learn how to cook‖ (MS 44) Priya can make lots of money

and ―can just hire a cook‖ (MS 44). He adds, ―No chopping and dicing for my little

princess‖ (MS 44).

Priya‘s family is similar to Astha‘s family in Manju Kapur's A Married

Woman (2002). Astha is born and brought up in a middle-class household in Delhi.

Her father is a government servant and mother is a school teacher and they are of

different temperaments. Her father thinks that her future is in her own hands and also

believes in her novelty. He encourages her to appear for the competitive exams as he

thinks that a good job will surely lead to confidence and independence. But her

mother believes in the traditional way. She is always anxious about her marriage and

every day in her temple and in the kitchen, she prays for a good match for Astha. She

also persuades Astha to pray for a worthy husband.

Neelima‘s pregnancy is not happily welcomed by the family since the

grandfather wants only the son of Lata to be the heir of the family, as their marriage

is an arranged marriage by the family, ―My grandparents and most of my family

members did not have high hopes for Anand‘s marriage and they all were convinced

that Neelima was not the right woman for him. They also believed that Neelima was

actually a witch who had brewed a nasty potion to ensnare their poor little innocent

son into her web‖ (MS 33). Although Neelima has a fair skin, the family praises only

the beauty of Lata. The emotional words of Neelima make the readers to understand

how the caste, cast away the minds and hearts of the people in Indian society. One can

accept the fact that in an Indian set up, the property rights of sons and daughters are

different. But here in Priya‘s home, the elders are not willing to accept an heir from

Neelima just because she is a Maharastrian Brahmin. Lata, who already has two
daughters, is pregnant for the third time because the family is in need of an heir. Lata

is considered as a ―‗pure-blooded‘ daughter-in-law to bear another child, to bear a

son‖ (MS 54). Bedjaoui comments, ―In reality, sexism is sanctioned by law

concerning inheritance rights since the son is legally and religiously to inherit the

complete family wealth‖ (150).

According to the Hindu religion a son alone can perform the cremation

activities to attain ―Moksha‖ (salvation). So the craving of a male child in the

family is common in India. Lata is asked to ―have a baby to provide a male heir‖

(MS 106) by Thatha. Bumiller mentions that Indian women are blessed as, ―May

you be the

mother of a hundred sons‖ (qtd. in Sundaram 18). Lata and Jayant‘s ―marriage was

obviously not working, but they were still together in what appeared to be a stifling

relationship, while baby number three was on the way‖ (MS 76). A woman after

becoming a wife and daughter-in-law is not allowed to behave as she really wants.

She has a greater duty towards her husband and his family. When Priya asks about

the third pregnancy of Lata for a boy baby, Lata says, ―They made me…First, it was

just Mava and then it was Atha and then Jayant started‖ (MS 77).

On hearing this Priya thinks that her grandfather is really cruel. When Ma

argues about Priya‘s questioning about Lata‘s pregnancy to the family, she

understands, ―Sometimes it was better to face the demons than ignore them. All that

was left now was to purse my lips in a pout to look like a recalcitrant adolescent. Just

the image I was trying not to portray. How could I convince them to trust my

judgement in men if I was pouting like a child?‖ (MS 86). She does not pay attention

to her Ma‘s words about their sacrifices. For the first time she becomes a matured

woman and raises her voice, ―I hadn't put a petition to my parents asking them to

give
birth to me. It was their choice and since they made that choice I couldn‘t owe them‖ (MS

86). In Bharati Mukherjee‘s Desirable Daughters (2002) the title is significant and

ironical. It suggests that daughters are only the objects of family prestige and so their

behaviour should be desirable in tune with the norms of the society. Priya wants her Ma

to accept her as she is and not the way her Ma envisioned her. She says,

―I wanted her to love Priya the person, not Priya the daughter who didn‘t live outside of

her imagination‖ (MS 87).