Berenice Urias

I always thought that it was just the parently thing to do, to just want to protect me and

want me to make good decisions but not trusting me and having such unrealistic standards isn’t

going to help me accomplish anything. I'm sorry that your other kids were not much help to the

family. I'm sorry that you think that having more than one friend makes me a whore. I'm sorry

that you guys are so irresponsible with your money that you're relying on your youngest kid to

save you. I'm sorry that I can't tell people that I love my selfish ass parents. After all, I've never

heard you guys ever tell me that you love me or got a hug or felt proud of my accomplishments.

I can't believe that you have the nerve to put your hands on me because you're mad about

the problems you caused. It took me so long to realize that maybe I wasn't the problem. Maybe

it’s yours instead. You love to accuse me of all these things just because my siblings did them my

age. They fucked up all the time. I hate to disappoint you but I don’t fuck every guy I talk to. I

don't lie about where I go, I never have. When are you going to realize I'm not them? I don't

understand why you think otherwise. You never even gave me a chance to prove myself that I'm

worthy of your trust. Instead you always jumped to conclusions and always thought that being

more strict on me was somehow going to make everything perfect. I hate to break this to you, but

it didn't.

Why do I skip so many meals? Maybe because I always heard how fat you thought I was.

You guys told me that I have to lose weight in order to be socially acceptable. You always told

me to be more like my friends. Skinny and white. You always told me that in order for me to get

a guy to like me, in order to keep him happy, in order for everyone to see me as pretty, I would

just have to lose 10 or 20 pounds. It never mattered to you how I accomplished it. It took you 2

years to realize that I stopped eating throughout the week and when I did decide to eat, my body

rejected it. I would vomit, so much, too much. You guys didn't just ruin my view towards food
Berenice Urias

but also my own self image. All I feel is guilt and disgust when I look in a mirror after having

family dinner. I honestly don't know my self worth anymore. I do try to keep a clean record and

try to stay on top of my work. I still do hope to make you guys proud. Although I don't

understand how you expect your daughter to trust and love you after all the shit you’ve done but

yet somehow I still do.