Drama triangle

Keith Nelson explores the drama triangle and the impact it might have for coaches…

Karpman’s (1968) original article on the Drama Triangle is available at:

http://www.karpmandramatriangle.com/pdf/DramaTriangle.pdf

While we have downloaded it here, students may wish to log on to the site to view
other related articles by Karpman.

The drama triangle, from transactional analysis, is a useful model for the coach to be
aware of.

Case history: drama triangle

I was coaching Barbara, a manager who worked for a charity. As the coaching
unfolded, she shared with me her history of living with, and ultimately leaving and
divorcing, an abusive husband. At the time of the coaching session, she had been
living on her own for three years.

I introduced her to the drama triangle.

I explained the drama triangle within the context of an abusive relationship. I

described the scenario of a husband physically abusing his wife at their home. A lot
of noise had been made and a neighbour called the police.

A police officer enters the house, sees what is going on and immediately handcuffs
the husband. At that moment, a drama triangle is established.

The husband is the persecutor, the wife is the victim. The police officer rescues the
wife by handcuffing the husband.

The drama triangle shifts. The wife now sees the husband as the victim. She views
the police officer as the persecutor and now seeks to rescue her husband. (In the act
of rescuing him, she persecutes the policeman, thereby turning him into a victim.)

As I explained this to Barbara, she said “that’s exactly what happened.” She had
been abused by her husband, the police had been called. She identified very closely
with the scenario. Introducing the triangle with sensitivity created a safe, containing
model for the discussions. It helped to raise her awareness and the application of
the model provided context – that she was not alone in her response.

McKinnon (1998, p. 21) writes: “Rescuer-victim-persecutor: the bad new is that if you
play one role you will play all three.”

How does this relate to coaching? In life coaching, the relationship is usually between
the coach and the client. In executive coaching, there are invariably more parties
involved – the individual client, the coach and the organisation’s representatives
(typically the HR director, CEO or the individual client’s line manager.) Does this
raise a bigger challenge for the executive coach? Perhaps the answer is both “yes”
and “no.”

In executive coaching, there is usually the potential for a drama triangle, given the
need for the coach to manage, to a greater or lesser degree, multiple relationships.
It’s crucial for the coach to be aware of the potential for drama triangles and to be
aware of (and decline) any invitations to join the drama triangle.

For the coach to be successful in these contexts requires awareness of personal

authority, separateness and boundaries:

Persecutor Rescuer

(The CEO) (Not the role of

(The critical wife) the coach,
but…)

Victim
(The client working in
the organisation)
(The downtrodden
husband)

The examples above demonstrate the potential for the establishment of a

drama triangle. Inevitably in coaching, whether in the life or executive context,
there will be triangulations. The client, the issue (whether or not this is another
person) and the coach.

O’Neill (2007, p.73-75) describes this as the “triangled coach.” She invites
coaches “to avoid the Rescue Model and use the Client Responsibility Model.”
In the rescue model, she contends that “you develop relationships not only
with the client but also with the client’s team, the issue itself, or the client’s
boss that foster dependency on you for the solution….The result is that the
client and her team stop developing their relationships with each other and
focus more on relating to you.”
In contrast, as a client responsibility coach, “you use your position in the
triangle to uncover information about the system that the client can use to
resolve her problem….The Client Responsibility Model respects the fact that
the coach is secondary to the situation rather than a primary player. You work
alongside and in partnership with your client.”
Hay (2007, pp. 92-3) suggests coaches can avoid the persecutor, rescuer,
victim sequence by choosing the “potency pyramid.”

Hay explains: “This shows that the alternatives to Persecutor, Rescuer and
Victim are being appropriately powerful, taking responsibility only for those
things that are truly ours, and displaying our own vulnerability. The
combination of these three leads to personal potency, hence the name of the
diagram.”

Vulnerability

Powerful Responsible

Next steps

Please use relevant discussion forums to explore the drama triangle with your
fellow students.

References

Hay, J., 2007. Reflective practice and supervision for coaches. Berkshire:
Open University Press.

Karpman, S., 1968. Fairy tales and script drama analysis. Transactional
Analysis Bulletin, 7(26), 39-43. Available at:
http://www.karpmandramatriangle.com/pdf/DramaTriangle.pdf
(Accessed September 2 2013)

McKinnon, S., 1998. Team play: strategies for successful people

management. Lothian: Victoria.

O’Neill, M.B., 2007. Executive coaching with backbone and heart: a systems
approach to engaging leaders with their challenges. San Francisco: Jossey-
Bass.