LIFE SKILLS
3 How to build resilience
A B
R E S I L I E N C E : skills and strategies
People sometimes think that a resilient person is
someone who is never upset or worried by stressful
situations, but in fact, resilience is something that
people build by going through difficulties and
coming out the other side. Everyone can learn to
be more resilient.
As much as anything, building resilience is about
changing how you look at the world. When
difficult situations arise, try to keep them in
perspective. Don’t assume that because something
has gone wrong, everything will continue that way.
See the problem as a challenge, and trust that
eventually you will overcome it, even if it takes a few
tries. Try setting yourself small, manageable tasks
that will move you slowly towards your final goal.
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Sometimes, you really can’t do anything to improve the
situation but you can always learn from it. Maybe that’s
about learning what you might do differently another
time, or simply gaining a heightened awareness of the
positive things in your life. Accept that change happens
and that you can’t always control it.
When going through tough time, it’s important to take
care of yourself. Eat foods that will nourish and sustain
you, get enough sleep and exercise. Make time for
activities that you enjoy and that bring you pleasure.
And remember that you don’t have to do everything
alone. The support of others can make all the
difference between being resilient and feeling
overwhelmed. Appreciate and make use of any
support offered, and don’t be afraid to ask for help
when in need.
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 5 What advice would you give to the
following people to help them
deal with their problem?

I think I’ve done something

to upset my best friend.
I don’t know what it is, but I can
tell from the way she looks at me
that she’s annoyed with me. I think she’s
going to start hanging out with someone
else, and if that happens, I’ll have no friends
at all because they’ll all like her better.

My granny has had to go into

hospital. I can hear my parents
whispering about it in the
kitchen, but they aren’t telling
me what’s going on or if she’s
going to be alright. I’m really worried.

6 In pairs, discuss the questions.

1 Describe a time you found really stressful
at school.
C 2 How do you deal with pressure?
3 Talk about a time you failed at something.
7 Interviewers for jobs or university places
1 Read the definition of resilience. In what way does each photo often ask questions like those in Exercise 6.
symbolise the idea of resilience? Why do you think that is?

resilience (n) – the ability to keep going when life is difficult, and
even learn something from the experience
2 In pairs, discuss the questions.
1 What different life situations can you think of where it would be
useful or necessary to have resilience?
2 Do you think it is possible to develop resilience?
3 Listen to Anna and Joe talking about a difficult situation in
their life. Make notes about the situations and how they were
dealt with.
4 Read the article and use the information to complete the
summary in the Life Skills box.
LIFE SKILLS How to build resilience
• Accept that 1 change happens and that it isn’t always possible to
2 control
it.
• Try to keep things in 3 perspective and have a positive and hopeful
outlook.
• Be determined and don’t 4 give up easily. Break tasks down into
small manageable chunks.
• See a setback or disappointment as an opportunity to 5 learn
something about yourself or about life.
• Take care of yourself. 6 Eat well and get enough sleep and
exercise.
• Even if you’re busy, make sure you have time to 7 enjoy yourself.
• Be willing to ask for 8 support or help from your friends and family.
8 DEBATE Read the statement. In small
groups, make a list of arguments for and
against that you could use in a debate.
Should resilience be taught in schools or is it
parents’ responsibility?
9 Do the task below.
LIFE SKILLS Project
Work in small groups. Choose a famous person
who you think is resilient. Do some research
about the person and prepare a mini-presentation
for the class. Make notes under the following
headings:
• Brief description of the person and what
difficulties they experienced.
• How they dealt with the difficulties. (They may
not have dealt with them well at first).
• How they were supported by others, if
appropriate.
• What they learnt and/or how they changed as
a result.
• The positive impact they have had on others
or on the world.

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Life skills 3 teacher’s notes
Extra activity in class
Do this activity after Exercise 2. If students have access
to the Internet in class, ask them to find a photo online
which defines resilience for them and to show it to
a partner. They should explain what about the photo
defines resilience. Partners should agree or disagree and
say why. If you do not have access to the Internet in class,
students can describe what their photo would show.
Answer key
Exercise 1
Photo A: A lighthouse gets bashed by storms and waves,
but stays strong and shines its light to help sailors.
Photo B: Someone who is unable to walk can adapt and
use the top part of their body.
Photo C: A plant growing in an inhospitable place is not
finding it easy to grow, but does so anyway.
Exercise 2
1 Possible answers: when you are/a family member is ill;
when you are having problems with friends; when you
are under exam pressure
Exercise 3
Anna: She is optimistic about the future (she’s planning
to be a champion runner). She doesn’t give up
easily. She’s willing to take some risks and she
enjoys a challenge. She understands that she can’t
(yet) control her epilepsy, but she can control how
she responds to it, i.e. not give up her dream
because of it. She knows how to build positive
relationships (e.g. with her trainer).
Joe: He dealt well with change (having to live
somewhere else). He and his family were able to
ask for help in finding somewhere to live. He has
learned something from the disappointment. He
has a good relationship with and values his friends
and family and he kept the incident in perspective.
Exercise 7
Suggested answer
They want to know how you will respond in the future
under stress or if things go wrong. They are looking for
someone resilient because they are usually more
determined, more tolerant of other people, more likely
to take ‘good’ (sensible) risks and will need less support
overall.
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Audioscript
A = Anna J = Joe
A: My name is Anna and I suffer from epilepsy. This
means that I have seizures where I fall over and
become unconscious for a few minutes each time.
You wouldn’t expect me to be a competitive runner,
would you? But I am. A few years ago my epilepsy
got really bad and I spent six days unconscious in
hospital. When I woke up, I had to use a wheelchair
for a while, and then I had to learn to walk again.
But I was determined to start running again, and
eventually I did. I have a trainer who’s also a good
friend. He goes with me when I run, so there’s always
someone there to look after me if I have a seizure.
I suppose I just don’t want to let epilepsy get in
the way of living my life. I know I’m going to be
a champion runner one day.
J: I’m Joe. My family and I live in a small city called
Worcester, in the UK. When I was little, we had
a huge flood. The rain was incredible. I’ve never seen
anything like it since. There was so much water that
firefighters had to come and carry everyone out of
the school. To be honest, I wasn’t frightened. It was
quite exciting, and no one got hurt. But then our
house got flooded too. We tried to save what we
could, but most of our furniture and belongings were
completely ruined. We had to stay with a relative for
several months until the house could be dried out
and redecorated and we could get the insurance
money to get new stuff. I was really heartbroken
about losing all my gadgets and other belongings.
But, do you know, it made me realise that, actually,
when it comes to it, possessions don’t matter that
much. Things can always be replaced. It’s the people
in your life who are really important.
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