A fulfilled life

NOTES. IDEAS. SUGGESTIONS

Published by Respiro Library, 2017
© Youth Alive
All rights reserved.

Downloading this material is permitted only for personal use.

Quoting or using passages from this material is permitted only
with the prior written consent of Youth Alive. Ask for permission at
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Editor: Florin Bică

Graphic Design: Mark Grigore
Translator: Armina Dinescu

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 CHAPTER 1

How can you make

a difference?
 How can you make the difference?

Some say the world is bad, not because there’s too many bad peo-
ple, but because the good people don’t do anything.
You can make a difference! This chapter will offer you some ideas
about how you can change something within you, as well as within
your circle of friends.

Don’t live just for your sake

In our Universe there is a very important rule: no one lives just for
their sake. The light particle that doesn’t light others goes out. The
water that stops flowing gets spoiled. The plants that no longer
provide perfume are left without pollinators. The people who live
just for themselves become dissatisfied, grumpy, unhappy.
You can’t do things you don’t believe in for a long time. That means
that you’ll have to decide to become a good, valuable person. Ap-
petite comes with eating, so start today. Smile to people, reach out
to someone, be encouraging and compassionate, and everything
else will follow in your soul.
In order to be a valuable person, you need to have quality friends.
An old saying goes something like this: “Tell me who your friends
are, and I will tell you who you are.” Good friends will always have
your back and encourage you to make healthy decisions, maintain
your values, and get involved in worthwhile activities.
A good person is also a giving person. That means opening your
door to the homeless people, sharing your food with the hungry,
giving your clothes to the poor, visiting the helpless, and so on.

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 CHAPTER 1

You can start saving a bit of money every month and surprise those
around you in thoughtful ways – a flower, a sandwich, a card. Every
good deed is rewarded with a smile.
The best activities are done together with friends or family. On
your next meetup, suggest doing a charitable action together. The
more, the merrier.

Practical ideas
Here’s some ideas and suggestions for those who want to make a
difference around them.
©© Defend someone who’s mistreated!
©© When you hear a bad joke, express your disapproval!
©© Share your appreciation of a positive online article through a
comment!
©© Print a T-shirt with an inspiring message!
©© Show you appreciate your family’s good deeds!
©© Write a thoughtful Facebook comment to everyone in your
newsfeed!
©© Write and publish on the internet an article about the beautiful
part of the world you live in!
©© Take 5 impressive photos of nature and post them online!
©© Promote high-quality websites in your social network!
©© Read a book about a valued person!
©© Learn meaningful proverbs and share them with your friends!
©© Learn a beautiful proverb in another language and promote it
among your acquaintances!
©© Suggest a beautiful idea to a friend and help him realize it!
©© Listen to a weary person!
©© Listen to an elder’s story! You will learn so much from their ex-
perience, and they will appreciate the company.

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 CHAPTER 1

©© Help an older person carry their bags!

©© Help an older person cross the street!
©© Together with your friends, help an older person with garden-
ing or household chores!
©© Offer to babysit for a big family!
©© Write a secret encouraging message for someone and hide it
in a strategic place!
©© Produce a short video about a human quality you consider im-
portant!
©© Organize a surprise birthday party!
©© Organize a healthy meal for your neighbors!
©© Stop buying things you don’t need for one month and donate
the money you end up saving to a charitable organization!
©© Buy medicine for someone who can’t leave their home!
©© Offer to tutor a child struggling in school!
©© Read a beautiful book to a blind person!
©© Visit the retirement home and offer to take the elderly on a
short walk around!
©© Visit a stranger in the hospital and bring them a small gift!
©© Send an encouraging text to a number you don’t know!
©© Call a lonely person and catch up!
©© Pray for a friend who’s in trouble!
©© Offer a glass of water to a thirsty person!
©© Offer a CD of good music to friends!
©© Offer a precious book to a stranger!
©© Give a gift to a person you find annoying!
©© If there’s a foreigner or refugee living in your town, help them
adapt by talking to them about the beautiful landscape of the
area.
©© Spend an hour every week doing something good for those
around you!
©© Do a good deed and make sure the recipient never realizes
where it came from!

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 CHAPTER 1

Conclusion
We were first loved by God. All the beautiful things we do are just
replies to His love. A truly good person doesn’t do good things for a
reward, but because they realize they’ve already received so much,
and all they can do is share their happiness around.

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 Chapter 2

How to have
healthy relationships?
 How to have healthy relationships?

You have enough wisdom to know that love and family are not
guaranteed to last forever. You might have friends who fell in love,
got married and then divorced. Many others struggle to keep their
relationships alive. You, however, want something better – not just
to avoid the pain of heartbreak, but to experience real, lasting love.
The following is dedicated to those who think seriously about love.
Don’t give up on your optimism! Nor on your dreams of wearing
a white wedding dress! Despite the difficult times we live in, it’s
not impossible to develop beautiful, happy relationships. But don’t
fool yourselves – these things don’t just happen, they’re not just a
matter of “luck”.

How can you know who is

the right person for you?
It’s very easy to fall in love. Most of us fall in love several times
throughout our lives. It’s possible to fall in love with the wrong per-
son. This should give you pause for thought. In the right circum-
stances, you can fall in love with almost anyone.
It’s not easy to figure out the right person for you. Each of us has
different needs, past, passions, dreams, ways of thinking.
Let’s take a hypothetical example…
He goes away to college without any plans of getting married. Then
he meets her, who’s beautiful and interesting. She has a boyfriend
at home. But since it’s not so fun to be alone, they start dating. The

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more time they spend together, the more they enjoy each other’s
company. Then summer comes and she goes home, back to her
old boyfriend.
When the two return to college after the holidays, they pick up
where they left off. Without their knowledge or intention, they grow
even fonder of one another. She has broken up with her boyfriend
back home. Unfortunately, she is less emotionally stable than he’d
prefer. So what should they do – stop or continue? They decide to
continue and they get married. But when she returns home and
sees her ex, she becomes a bit confused. She breaks up with her
husband and gets back together with her ex. After a few months,
they get married.
With this example in mind, please pay attention to the following.
Don’t imagine this could never happen to you. Don’t start dating
someone just because you’re feeling lonely! It’s very easy to pre-
tend you’re just friends and that nothing will happen between you.
This assumption is wrong. Things can always evolve in any direc-
tion.
Another important factor to consider is whether or not it’s healthy
to start a relationship with someone who needs you. It can feel
very nice for another person to need you, but this dependency can
create problems in the long run. A happy relationship needs two
happy people.
The best relationships are those where the partners have previ-
ously solved all their issues before starting something. This means
they’re able to focus on sharing love, instead of selfishly asking for
more than they can give.

What are your chances of

not repeating history?
Studies show that a happy, healthy relationship has more chances
of lasting when the partners have similar ages, values, education,

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religious beliefs, and personal interests. It’s true that opposites at-
tract, especially when it comes to personality, but when the goal is
to establish long-term stability, it’s the similarities, not the differ-
ences, that keep a couple together.
The basic principle is as follows: any difference implies an addi-
tional effort to adapt, which means consuming additional energy
to overcome the differences. It’s much easier when both partners
have the same preferences. They don’t need to discuss or argue
incessantly to find a compromise that will, most likely than not, not
satisfy anyone. That can easily become tedious - for some more
than for others. Eventually the situation will devolve to the point
where the two partners stop communicating altogether and only
one of them makes the decisions. This is how frustrations occur.
Let’s look at some examples of possible differences.

Age

Maturity is more important to happiness than age. There are 40

year olds more immature than kids. Wisdom is vital to a successful
relationship. The high school and college years tend to be more
chaotic. Relationships created at these ages don’t tend to last long.
If you add to that a precarious financial situation, problems will
quickly start to pile up.
The age difference is also a factor that influences and can affect the
relationship. If there’s too big an age gap between the partners, not
only will there be huge differences in interests and friendships, but
there will also be a tendency to treat the younger person as less
responsible. Choosing to marry when you are still in high school or
college can lead to conflicts, down the road, which boys – generally
less mature than girls – are less able to manage. Remember that
age is not about the number, but about the level of maturity.

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Values
If you’re serious about the relationship, don’t take any further steps
before you meet your partner’s family. Spend some time in their
home to see things you couldn’t otherwise observe, then ask your-
self, “Can I accept their different values”?
Let’s take an example.
He comes from a family where the father was the head of the fam-
ily. His word was law. The mother was an excellent housewife. She
was closest to the children. The father rarely had time to play with
them. He knew his father loved his mother, though they never dis-
played any signs of affection in front of him.
She comes from a family of huggers. The father was gentle, kind
and always available. He had a warm relationships with all of his
kids. They could always confide in him and he would always make
time for them.
When visiting his family, she has a revelation. There are so many
differences between them! Her family always had guests around,
while his home is almost always empty. Her family’s door was al-
ways open, but his had a more rigid schedule. She is not against
the idea of him being the head of the family, but she expects them
to discuss things equally and find solutions together (as things
were done in her family). Instead, he realizes that he’d rather she
stayed at home, instead of working. And so on…
What do you think about this situation? Fortunately, both of them
want and manage to adapt to each other’s values. But this is not
always the case. This doesn’t mean one’s values are superior to the
other’s. They’re simply different.

Education
When we talk about education, we’re not referring to the number
of years spent in college or of degrees obtained. The more educat-
ed a person is, the better they are at learning about themselves

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and the world. It also means they have a clearer idea about their
expectations in life and relationships. Being more educated also
means being wiser. The ideal scenario is to grow together.

What qualities should you look for

in a long-term relationship?

Optimism
We know many wouldn’t have started the list with this quality, but
our advice is to find someone with a sense of humor. It’s hard to
live with someone who is always grumpy and negative. Happiness
springs from a satisfied heart. Be wary of those who are only happy
when you’re around. It’s hard to be responsible for someone else’s
happiness.

Consideration
How does your partner treat their family? Do they care about ev-
eryone’s needs or are they only interested in their personal needs?
These things rarely change over time. If the person you want to be
with for the rest of your life doesn’t pay attention to the needs of
others, how can you be sure that he’ll pay attention to your needs?

Self-control
We all experience anger, but the way we express it is extremely
important. Beware of people with a violent history! If it happened

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once, it will happen again. On the other hand, getting the cold
shoulder is equally undesirable. So ask yourself: “Is this how I want
to live for the rest of my life?”

Problem-solving
Life throws many problems our way, and a lazy person, who is
used to procrastinating things indefinitely, is not the partner you
can solve problems with for the rest of your life.

Trust
Some people are born liars. They lie without even thinking about it
and without any real reason. It’s impossible to build a stable, last-
ing relationship with someone who’s not trustworthy.

Accountability
Use the following questions to detect unreliability: Does your part-
ner finish what they started? Do they choose to finish their projects
or prefer to party instead? Do they have a stable job? Do they no-
tice what needs to be done – and do they take care of it? Do they
offer a helping hand? Are they punctual? Do they always look for
excuses to get out of chores? Think! How responsible are they?

Acceptance
True love is unconditional love. You are loved and accepted as you
are, no matter what you look like, what you eat, etc. It’s easy to love
a person for their positive traits. Ask yourself if you also love what
is not beautiful - habits, weaknesses, etc.

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Desire to grow
Relationships are never static, and the spousal one even less so.
Make sure the other person is as willing as you are to learn and
change when changes are needed.

Do you enjoy life alone?

This question might sound weird, but it’s necessary. A very effective
way to scare off people who might be interested in you, or, instead,
to attract the selfish people with ulterior motives, is to display your
interest – or even desperation – to be with someone.
Avoid being solitary! Join a group! It’s an excellent way to meet peo-
ple. Even if it’s not so easy to get involved, remember that most feel
exactly the same. Make friends! So many people waste so much of
their lives because they are afraid to make friends!
The worst thing you can do is pity yourself. Take part in activities
you enjoy! Do the things you’ve always wanted to do. The goal is to
feel good in your own skin. Then you will have the strength to give
and receive fully in a stable relationship and, especially, in a happy,
lifelong marriage.

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How to overcome a crisis?

 How to overcome a crisis?

How to deal with depression?

We all feel sad sometimes, and that’s normal. Sadness is part of
our nature, but being depressed, which is a mental health issue
that lasts for a long time, is not the same. But what is depression?
Depression is a common mental disorder that causes people to
experience loss of interest or pleasure, feelings of guilt or low self-
worth, disturbed sleep or appetite, low energy, poor concentra-
tion, and other mental or physical symptoms.
Maybe this definition describes a present state you find yourself
in, or perhaps it describes a past experience. Perhaps you’ve nev-
er gone through something like this. But I have. I can tell you that
you end up feeling like no one understands you, like everyone is
against you, and you can’t see a way out. Depression is a vicious
circle that doesn’t let you see the full half of the glass, which only
further complicates your life.
You may ask yourself: “What can I do in a situation like this?”
I recommend what always works for me. Focus on how you can
help others. Are there needy people in your town? Help them! Stop
focusing on your present situation, and try to see instead how you
can serve someone else going through hard times.
If you feel that social engagement isn’t really your style, you can
keep in mind other suggestions that address the spiritual side of
life. Open the Bible on one of Joseph, Daniel, Moses or David’s
scenes or even on some of Jesus’ episodes. Reflect on their lives

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and try to understand how they made it out of their difficult cir-
cumstances. You’ll most likely discover that, for all of them, the
common denominator was God. Prayer was the main factor that
helped them solve their problems and overcome their weakness-
es. Maybe you don’t feel comfortable interacting with other peo-
ple, but you can definitely kneel before the Heavens and share
your burden with Jesus. Talk to Him as if He didn’t know your life,
and be as detailed and honest as you can!
Once you have unloaded your emotional burden, you can med-
itate on Jesus’ life. He has lived through suffering and mockery,
even though He didn’t deserve any of it. Do not end your prayer
without asking God for guidance, peace of mind, and, above all, de-
liverance from the mist that’s surrounded you. After praying, look
in the mirror, try to smile, and say, “When life gives me lemons, I’ll
make lemonade.”

What to do when
I feel abandoned?
The feeling of abandonment is one of the most painful things a
person can experience. For most people it’s hard to feel alone, so
they search for the company of others. You probably have a group
of friends you care about and who make you feel appreciated for
the many qualities you have. But what about when you feel like
even they can’t understand, what else is there to do?
Here’s one way to get rid of the loneliness. Take a pen and a sheet
of paper, and start scribbling! Write a letter to God, detailing the
situation you’re in. You can describe the situation from whatev-
er perspective you want. You can be honest about your darkest
thoughts and fears. Don’t forget though that you’re writing to God,
so please make sure you use the right language. You can write as

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many pages as you want, and tell Him about all your worries. You
can truly share everything.
After you finish writing, fold the letter, say a short prayer, and tell
God that you are sending Him a letter because you feel abandoned
and have no one to share your thoughts with. Ask Him to help you
solve your problems. Finally, thank Him for listening to you.
I assure you, based on my own experience, that this method only
works if you’re being honest. I promise that God will answer you
in the shortest time, in a proper manner, in such a way that you
understand His message for you. Repeat this whenever you feel
alone.

What should I do when

I don’t feel good about myself?
I’ve often met young people who don’t feel good about them-
selves. They’re afraid to listen to their own thoughts so they put
themselves in situations that keep them busy with other people
and never allow them to encounter themselves. Perhaps you have
had such a period in your life or are still feeling this way. I don’t
know exactly how you feel about yourself, but I know there are very
few people who have an objective view of themselves. Most of us
suffer from either an inferiority complex or an over-inflated ego.
Maybe you have problems with your physical appearance and you
feel uncomfortable in your own skin. Most things, except for func-
tional defects (a physical disability like a missing limb, blindness or
deafness, etc.), can be resolved over time. Do you feel related to
“Ugly Betty”, plus a few extra pounds? No problem! Extra weight
will disappear when you decide to tidy up your life. Regular meals,
physical exercise and following a few rules will help you have a
body you feel good about. Or maybe you have acne and you’re
letting that damage your self-esteem. You can get checked out by a

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dermatologist and ask for a solution. Science is getting better and

better, so there’s many ways to help your skin. If you think your
nose or your ears are too big, stop worrying – enjoy them, especial-
ly because they work! Not everyone has this privilege.
Maybe you have speech impediments because you are shy, or
stammering, or because you are a little behind your reading and
haven’t started developing your vocabulary. There is a quote I love
in the Bible that encourages me whenever I face a challenge: “I can
do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” If you’re shy, I
know you’ll find it hard to express yourself. But when you have
an opinion that really deserves to be heard, it would be a shame
not to want to overcome this obstacle in your way. Who knows – it
might be exactly what your friends need to hear. And if you’re lag-
ging behind with reading, don’t worry and start reading now! But
choose wisely – tabloids are neither helpful nor useful! Get good
books on topics that interest you! You’ll notice that, the more you
read, the richer your vocabulary becomes, and you’ll be able to
formulate your own ideas about the world and life. (Remember,
though, that there’s no point in knowing how to read if you never
read the Bible.)

What should I do when

I feel aimless in life?
This is also a dilemma for me.
I still haven’t figured out what my path is in life. By that I mean
that I don’t have a clear trajectory in my mind (besides the way to
a beautiful character, a path I hope I’m already following). I didn’t
always know what I wanted to do or what I should do, but I always
had someone to ask. First, I reflected on my own and wondered
what I’d like to do in this life. Then I reflected on what God might

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wish for my life. I then asked around and, finally, I thought I had
the right answer. So I worked hard to accomplish my plan. I had a
career, but then I realized it wasn’t my dream. So I chose a different
career, one that I like and which brings me satisfaction and moti-
vates me to grow. I’m not really sure I’ll do this all my life.
Maybe you find yourself at a similar crossroads. You had a par-
ticular major in college, but now you lack perspective. You have a
degree that doesn’t help you achieve your professional goals, and
that’s because you didn’t think too seriously about your talents
when you chose your major. (If you haven’t reached the college
stage yet, you still have time to decide and I hope you’ll make the
right decision for yourself.) You have limited financial resources
and you’re tempted to choose any option that can help you move
forward. Seneca rightfully said: “If one does not know to which port
one is sailing, no wind is favorable.” So take some time today, and
think about how you can become a good person before God and
before others.

How should I decide about the most

important things in life?
When you have an important choice in front you, consider the fol-
lowing:

©© Ask yourself if you’d be able to look proudly in the mirror to-

morrow!
©© Think about the difficult decisions you’ve made in the past and
how you’ve solved your problems!
©© Reflect on how your decision will affect your life!
©© Take time to think about the decision you’re about to make!
The worst thing you can do is act in a hurry.

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©© Ask yourself how your decision will affect you and those around
you!
©© Imagine you’ve already made your decision! If the scenario you
imagine objectively gives you a sense of relief, it might be the
right decision.
©© Don’t forget that, while you have the right to make mistakes,
you don’t have the right not to learn from them!
©© Talk to your friends! Talk to your elders! Once you have an over-
view of the situation, you can make your decision and act ac-
cordingly.
©© It’s good to trust your own ability to make decisions. Whatever
it ends up being, you will gain experience and wisdom, wheth-
er it’s a “yes” or a “no”.
©© Don’t be afraid to make decisions! Any decision you make is
better than indecision.
©© Take time to think about the consequences!
©© Try drawing out of a hat: Take a sheet of paper and write down
your options! Tear the sheet so that each option is on a sep-
arate piece of paper. Put all the pieces in a hat and pick one
of them. If you feel disappointed with the first result, then ask
yourself which option you would’ve have preferred instead.
Most of the time, this is the most appropriate decision.
©© Compare your options with your goal in life and with your per-
sonal values, and that’ll make it much easier to know your path.

What should I do if
I run out of money?
There’s one simple answer: start a decent job. Especially if you
don’t want to end up in another crisis situation.

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What should I do when

I feel stuck?
When life is easy, without too many challenges, you have time to
read, pray or meditate. But when life serves you obstacles that feel
insurmountable, what can you do? In such times you can figure out
what really works and what doesn’t work among the hundreds of
methods you’ve read about.
Here’s some suggestions:
Try to move forward and don’t go back!
This is the advice I give to everyone I meet in dire situations. Usu-
ally, there is no growth without difficult situations. I wonder why
many people retreat in the face of adversity. Try to push through
the darkness that stands in your way and the hot rays of hope will
soon shine on your face.
Remember the last time you felt happy and free!
Take a moment to think about the nice memories, your friends and
dear ones. I know you might not be in the mood to think of such
things when the going gets tough, but, just as appetite comes with
eating, so will the state of well being finally return to you and, with
it, the energy and motivation to persevere.
Act against your instincts!
People often try to escape through overeating, drugs or alcohol,
seeking to improve their mental discomfort. Instead of taking ref-
uge in such distractions, it would be better for you to eat salads
and fruits, exercise every day (even if it means just walking for half
an hour), read inspiring books, meet with friends, and do fun stuff
together. Friends can often tell when you’re going through a tough
time and can offer to help.
Be wary of self-pity!
By indulging in self-pity, you’ll become a victim. As I’ve already re-

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minded you, you have people around you who cherish you and
who suffer when they see you down. Let them cheer you up and
don’t bring them down with your sadness.
A full life!
Could a book change your life or your perspective on it? Before
you answer, I want you to know that the Bible has truly changed
my life. In the Bible I found all kinds of people: rich and poor, beau-
tiful and less beautiful, wise and crazy, people of all colors moral-
ly speaking. I don’t know what a complete life means to you, but
you should take the time to reflect on your values, goals, and the
means to reach them.
In conclusion, I’d like to remind you of a famous quote: “That which
does not kill us, makes us stronger.”

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How to live an accomplished

religious life?
 How to live an accomplished religious life?

We use terms like “religion,” “faith,” or “spirituality” when we refer

to that part of our inner existence that relates to morality, to our
conscience, and to our relationship with God. This dimension of
our existence is also called spiritual or religious life.
In the following chapter, we’ll explore some of the most common
questions and answers about our religion.

What is someone’s
“spiritual life”?
Unlike other beings, humans experience more than just physio-
logical processes and survival needs. Probably the most intense
human experience belongs to … the abstract side of his being. Hu-
mans need motivation. They look for and demand explanations.
They set goals, they offer and expect feelings. Thought creates an
entire universe inside the human being, and this universe is built
around a superior authority we call God.

What’s the point of having

a spiritual life?
If you know that God exists, you can always hope that good will
conquer. Your relationships with God provides you with moral sup-

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port for your positive actions and decisions. A spiritual life is an

intrinsic part of a human being, one that we are all born with. Spir-
itual life and faith or religious displays help ground a person, give
them an overarching direction, maintain their optimism and hope,
and guide them towards positive aspirations and behaviors.

How is the
spiritual life formed?
Spiritual life is like a habit that needs to be discovered, learned,
and then practiced. Humans search for a connection to God in-
stinctively. Blaise Pascal famously said: “There is a God-shaped vac-
uum in the heart of every person”. Under normal circumstances,
we all seek to know and interact with God. But not all people de-
sire this equally. Some are born into more proper families and find
easier access to God’s world of faith. Others don’t receive a pos-
itive influence that can facilitate their relationship to God, and so
they need extra help from those around them. Beware, though, of
people whose only goal is to convert us into religious activists! The
genuine helpers are those trying to get us closer to God through
the Bible.

Does the spiritual life

have to include God too?
Life has no meaning or purpose without God. One cannot live fully
or righteously in the absence of God. God is the centre of a spiri-
tual life.

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What role does religion

play in one’s life?
The role of religion is to provide the appropriate framework for
practicing one’s faith. A religion is a fact-based set of rules and
guidelines concerning God’s will. Not every religion is right or ben-
eficial. A true religion has as its sole purpose to help people get
to know, understand and respect the will of God. If your religion
doesn’t transform you positively and if it doesn’t let you express
your faith according to the Bible, then you need to choose the re-
ligion that can help you achieve these things.

How should I choose

my religion?
Imagine you want to play a specific sport (volleyball, tennis, foot-
ball, swimming, etc.). Before you can start, you need to know the
rules, have the right equipment, and, obviously, find the right place
for it. You won’t try to swim on a volleyball court or play soccer in
the pool. You can’t play football following the rules of tennis or
handball.
Religion is no different. If you want to choose the religion of the
Bible, you will search for a church where the Bible is the supreme
authority. If you want a religion that respects the will of God, you
will look for a church that observes the Ten Commandments. If
you want a church where you can negotiate your involvement and
obedience, you will look for a more permissive one. If you want to
have the same religion as most people around you, you will choose
by numbers, and not necessarily according to God’s will.
Since religion is a set of rules and guidelines for maintaining a
proper relationship with God and others, it has to follow God’s

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will, as expressed clearly in the Bible. So make sure your religion is

based 100% on the Bible!

Is spiritual life a given,

or can it change in time?
Religion is just a set of guidelines for a relationship with God and,
implicitly, with the world. It’s not religion that should decide, but
the will of God. A religion is only good as long as it leads you to a
saving relationship with God, morally and spiritually speaking. Reli-
gious life can develop and adapt as people understand and expe-
rience a more personal relationship with God.
Religious life should not be something rigid, stuck on a superfi-
cial level of understanding. Spiritual life is an ongoing process of
growth.

How can we increase the quality

of our spiritual lives?
Spiritual life is composed of several integral elements: prayer,
which is the means of speaking to God; reading (studying) the Holy
Scripture (the Bible), which is the clearest way of communication
from God to people; the daily practice of faith, i.e. the application
of all that we know about the will of God and of all that we under-
stand to be right and good in our everyday decisions.
As a way to get to know and understand God, we can carefully re-
flect on everything that God has created around us. The more we
focus on these essential things, the higher the quality of our lives
as Christians.

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So let’s explore these essential elements of being good, healthy,

spiritual Christians.

Prayer How and what to pray

Are prayers written by others useful for me?
Some prayers are written and used as a model, as an example.
Such is the prayer in the Gospel of Matthew (chapter 6), called “The
Lord’s Prayer”, which is given as a model by the Savior Himself. It is
an example that shows us what a prayer should contain and how
it should be formulated.
Can I have my own prayers?
God actually wants you to express your needs and thoughts in
your own words. He doesn’t ask for mediators or learning phrases
by heart in order to listen to your prayers. He only wants a prayer
to be like a dialogue between a child (the human being) and the
parent (God).
Why do I need Jesus Christ in my spiritual life?
Ever since humans sinned, the sin has become a sort of dividing
wall between us and God. Humans are unworthy and incapable to
talk directly to God (face-to-face, the way they used to in the Gar-
den of Eden, before rebelling). Because humans disobeyed God’s
orders and committed the original sin, we became unable to live a
perfect, correct life. Jesus Christ chose to die and pay for our sins,
before the whole Universe. Through His sacrifice, He became the
Redeemer of mankind.
If there had been no consequences for sinning and disobeying the
Word of God, sin and evil would have just become legal and per-
mitted in the Universe. That’s why humans had to be isolated. The
only way for them to return and be welcomed back into the pure
family of the Universe was for Someone to pay back with His own
life for all of humanity’s mistakes.

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Reading What to read for your spiritual life

“There are three types of books: books which inform, books which
deform, and books which form the character. The Bible is the book
that forms the character.”
What should I consider when I choose what to read?
First of all, you should be aware that you have very little time for
reading, and that you won’t have time to read all the books, not
even the best ones. So you must start with the very good books.
The Bible is the first among them, because it contains words in-
spired by the Creator of this world. This is the book that presents
God in an authentic way.
Why should I pick what to read, instead of just reading whatever?
There’s a simple answer for that. Bad books can have a harmful ef-
fect on the character. Immoral topics can negatively influence our
minds and beliefs. You should check everything you read so you’re
sure the information is real and verifiable.

The daily practice of faith

What are some common spiritual mistakes I should avoid?
Fanaticism. What does it mean to be fanatic? Why isn’t it good to
exaggerate?
Fanaticism means to place a religion or belief higher than its pur-
pose (which is to guide you to God), and to impose it through ma-
nipulation, by coercive methods. and by violent acts (crimes and
attacks). Fanaticism is not found in just one particular religion.
There are fanatics in almost all religions.
Superficiality. Why is it wrong to be too careless with your religious
and spiritual life?

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Too often we fall prey to misconceptions about God. The devil

would like us to imagine God as a “vengeful deity” or as “someone
who can be bribed” with gifts or contributions. Some philosophers,
inspired by the same evil enemy, even go as far as to portray God
as “someone who was here at some point, but now totally absent,”
suggesting that He no longer cares about His creation.
The devil has every interest in convincing people to think the worst
of God. Since ancient times, he has been portraying “gods” as ruth-
less and thirsty for human blood. Education has the most import-
ant role in how we perceive God. Stories can show Him as an angry
god. There’s also the fear triggered by our conscience whenever
we do something wrong. We have the tendency to confuse that
fear with the terror induced by an angry God. The wrong concepts
about God push us further away from Him.
Does God want us to be sad and never happy?
The answer is obviously no. God wants us to be happy and free.
He wants us to enjoy our lives, without any regrets about the way
we use our freedom.
What is God really like?
There is a tendency to consider God’s existence and manifestation
a taboo subject. But in reality, God presents Himself loud and clear
in the Bible. He is our Father. He is a real person, though inexplica-
ble and incomprehensible for us in many ways. God is the creator
of all things and beings in the Universe.
Since He is the author and protector of His creation, it’s easy to see
why He has nothing but good intentions for our world. The fallen
angel who rebelled against God for no reason continues to try to
tarnish His image in people’s minds. But by rigorously reading the
Holy Scripture, you can combat these evil efforts.
Isn’t living a spiritual life boring?
At first glance, the life of a believer may seem boring or even diffi-
cult. In fact, to live as a spiritual person is no more difficult to learn
than how to drive a car or many other activities that we have to
pick up in life. The important thing is to learn it from reliable sourc-

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es, the best of which is the written Word of God, the Bible. It’s also
important to ask God for help through prayers.
As for boredom, a life free from guilt, without a burdened con-
science or the consequences of wrongdoing can only be a fulfilled
and happy life. Faith and spirituality do not forbid joy, friendship,
love, happiness, but, on the contrary, make them permanent, pro-
found and authentic.

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Good manners
in various circumstances
 Good manners in various circumstances

We live in an incredibly dynamic world. We live in an age of speed.

We live in a time of chaotic, and often worthless values.
Have we stopped aspiring for greatness, thinking for ourselves,
reflecting and praying? Most certainly not. So what has changed?
How come we act polite around strangers, but forget all our man-
ners at home? How come perfectly abled people can park care-
lessly on disabled parking spots? How come we bump into people
on the street without any apologies? Maybe it’s not the world that’s
changed, but each and every one of us. We’ve lost our interest in
free kindness. We’re now living in a time where everything costs.
In the following pages, let’s imagine a few everyday scenes and
discover together what would be the ideal behavior.

How to introduce yourself?

Maybe you’re the kind of person who often meets new people. For
example, you’re visiting a good friend and discover he’s also invited
a few people you don’t know. What do you do in such a situation?
The first and easiest thing you could do would be to put on a sin-
cere smile for everybody.
If the host is too busy to introduce you around, you can also do it
yourself: “Sorry to interrupt, but, since the host is busy, I thought
I’d just introduce myself.” Keep in mind people’s age and style. Try
to use a neutral form of your name – not the nickname your best
friends have for you, nor your full name.

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How can you have a conversation

that impresses your interloc-
utor?
You can’t learn the art of conversation overnight.
Imagine you’re at a public event and you notice a person of a par-
ticular profession, a physician for example. Even if you know each
other, it’s not recommended to start a medical discussion with that
person, if the event has another purpose. Perhaps they’d rather
discuss other topics than the one in which they work. The same
is true for other professions too. Don’t impose your own topic of
interest on the conversation.
You should always pay attention to what you say and how you say
it, making sure you never disparage your interlocutor, even if you’re
better educated or informed. This doesn’t mean you should always
agree with them. Respect different opinions from your own – they
might be reasonable. But don’t automatically discount your own
opinion as meaningless. Any topic can remain open to discussion.
Nothing stops you from supporting your ideas, but do this without
offending your interlocutor. Avoid categorical interventions such
as: “Nonsense!”, “No way!”, or “You’re wrong!”. These only prove a
lack of education on your part, and can irreversibly ruin a dialogue.
More appropriately would be to say something like, “Sorry to dis-
agree, but I think there’s some other arguments about …” Make
room for amicable disagreement and never interrupt.
Small compliments keep the conversation alive, just like small
gifts maintain a friendship. It’s not hypocritical to compliment the
cook for the delicious food, but don’t tell a 60 year-old lady that
she looks just like her daughter. It’s equally rude to tell your host:
“Lovely house! You must have paid a lot for it!”
Excessive complimenting is tactless. Expecting this sort of compli-
ments is foolish.
There is a tendency in each of us to describe ourselves. We often

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hear people saying, “I am a very fair man”; “I’m very honest and
discreet”; “People say I’m very punctual”; “I’m very good at my job.”
Then, in an effort to give us a well-rounded picture of their person-
ality, they complement it with a series of “flaws”: “But I also have
flaws: I’m too good, too honest, too serious etc. “
Let others appreciate us by our actions, not our words.

How, to whom, and what

should you write?
I don’t know how important you consider writing a message (wheth-
er it’s by text or email), but I think that’s also something to consid-
er when you want to make a good impression. Maybe you’ve also
received barely legible texts, where you couldn’t even figure out
who the sender was. So remember to always sign your texts and
emails. Abbreviations only make sense if you’re sure the person
receiving them can understand them. When you email someone
you don’t know or you’re not close to, it’s best to use a more formal
style. Overly long introductions don’t help anyone – they’re often
too boring to the average reader and aren’t very informative.
When you have several important things to communicate, it’s a
good idea to list and summarize them, so that the recipient of the
email quickly gets the gist.
Be always as concise as possible in your emails – you probably don’t
want to waste anybody’s time with unreasonably long messages.
Special attention should also be paid to the official documents that
represent us to the world, namely your CV and cover letter. Your
resume is a summary of your work and accomplishments, a brief
overview of what defines you professionally. You should always be
honest in your CV – don’t try to present yourself as the next Elon
Musk. Showcase your talents objectively, because you don’t want
to end up having to prove your “embellishments” during an inter-
view. The same can be said about the cover letter.

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What’s the right attitude

for driving?
When you’re behind the wheel, you must be responsible. If you hit
or scratch someone else’s car, you should stop, share your insur-
ance information, as well as apologize.
Never get in the car grumpy or anxious. You can’t pay attention to
the traffic if your mind is filled with other worries. Being polite to
other participants in the traffic (other cars, bikes or pedestrians) is
always important.
If another car overtakes you, don’t reply with honking and swear-
ing. Keep calm and act well-mannered. Who knows – maybe the
other driver is in the midst of a real emergency!
Above all, remember to drive responsibly. Life always has priority.

When, to whom, why and what

kind of gifts should you give?
A present is not mandatory. It can’t be requested, ordered, or sug-
gested except in some special situations.
To be able to offer small gifts in a discreet manner is a true sign of
class. Tiny presents keep friendships alive and are a source of great
joy for anyone, as long as they come from a place of honesty, with no
strings attached.
Friends, family members and lovers can give each other small pres-
ents anytime. You don’t need to wait for a special occasion to give
your friend that book he’s been looking for, or your grandmother a
new pair of comfy slippers.
If we ask someone to buy us an object, however small, we find out
the price and pay them back immediately. But if they insist to give it

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to us as a gift, we shouldn’t argue about it. Thank them, accept the gift
graciously and ... remember.
We shouldn’t buy expensive gifts even if we have a great financial sit-
uation. Over-priced gifts are not a proof of good taste, and, sooner or
later, can trigger unexpected conflicts.
Any gift should be carefully considered, bought, packaged, and of-
fered. It has to be nice, useful and pleasing to the recipient. These
are the qualities that give a gift its value, not the price. The price tag
should be removed.
The recipient of a gift should open it in the presence of the giver, with-
out complaining about it in any way. If you don’t like a gift, try to hide
your feelings. Similarly, if you’re the giver, don’t press too much trying
to find out if your friend really liked your gift or not.
We shouldn’t gift objects we have lying around the house that we
don’t like anymore. If we have such objects, we can offer them to
those closest to us or donate them, without comments such as: “I’m
surprised you like it! I find it horrible!”
Can we ever refuse a gift? No. Even if we don’t like it, a gift is a gift,
and refusing one means offending the person who gave it to us. But
there are some exceptions – in special cases, when a gift could be
interpreted as a form of coercion or obligation. For example, if you
are a teacher at a school, and the parents of one of your naughtiest
students tries to give you an expensive gift, with the implication that
they’d like you to be more lenient with their child… that is the kind
of situation where the “gift” is in fact a kind of bribe, and should be
refused or returned.

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How to have fun

in a constructive way?
 How to have fun in a constructive way?

Can Christians be happy?

There’s a story I’d like to share with you. There was a child once who
loved to play outdoors, admiring every part of nature. He’d watch
the birds play, the butterflies flying around, and he’d be completely
fascinated by the joyful rays of sun.
One day, the child asked his mother, “Mom, is the donkey Chris-
tian?”
The mother answered, a bit surprised, “Oh no, not at all! Why do
you ask?”
“Well, I always see him with a long, sour face. I thought he might
also be a Christian.”
Many people think joy is incompatible with a spiritual life. For some,
being a Christian means always wearing old-fashioned clothes,
walking around with your head down, never smiling, even making
an effort to look as sad as possible. Some Christians always seem
gloomy, as if they’re always under a cloud. They give off the impres-
sion that God’s commandments are a burden, and that everything
that pleases or delights the tastes must be sacrificed on the al-
tar of religion. Nothing could be further from the truth. Christians
should be the most joyful and happiest people on earth.
According to John 10:10: “The thief comes only to steal and kill and
destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full”.
In other words, Jesus Christ says: “I have come so you could enjoy
life. Not just live your live, but live it to the fullest.”
In the above verse, we learn of a thief whose sole purpose is to de-

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stroy us. Who is this thief? He who has always fought against Christ
and who has deceived the world - the Devil or Satan. He doesn’t
want you to be happy and always tries to deceive you, just as he
did in the garden of Eden. He operates the same way nowadays,
tempting you with false joys, while his real purpose is your total
destruction.

Is there a connection between

fun and success?
Before delving into fun, I’d like to share some thoughts about success.
In his book, Success Is Not An Accident, Tommy Newberry talks about
the importance of our choices in achieving success. Without doubt,
this is the most important lesson you have to learn if you want to
maximize your potential and enjoy the success you were destined
for. Success enters the lives of certain people for clear reasons. It
doesn’t happen at random. It’s something you decide for yourself, as
Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote: “Let him learn that everything in nature,
even dust and feathers, go by law and not by luck. And that what he
sows, he reaps.”
Do you think God wants you to be successful? Think of this in a dif-
ferent way: would you want your own children to be mediocre? Of
course not! You’d only wish the best for them, including success. Sim-
ilarly, our Heavenly Father wishes the same thing for all of us, His
children – that we achieve success.
Success doesn’t happen by chance, but through the deliberate pur-
suit of goals. Success is a planned outcome, not an unexpected sur-
prise. Success and failure are completely predictable because they
follow the universal laws of sowing and harvesting. In other words, if
you want to be successful, you have to make a valuable investment.
When you try to get something without giving anything in return, you
get nothing.

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What’s the goal of your life? You can’t take a break from life. What you
do on Saturday night is as important as the things you do on Monday
morning or Wednesday afternoon. An extraordinary life is simply the
sum total of thousands of efforts (often unseen by others) that all
lead to the accomplishment of worthy goals.

How do you choose to have fun?

You have a lot of options for fun, so your choice will highlight the
real you.
Today, you are here due to the choices you’ve made. You’ve made
decisions about what to learn and what to disregard. You chose
who to spend your time with. You made a decision about what to
believe in and what not to. You’ve made romantic decisions – which
people of the opposite sex to meet, and what attitude to have to-
wards them. You chose whether or not to drink alcohol, to smoke,
or to do drugs. You chose to give in to fear, or to persevere in spite
of fear. You decided to be the best, or to act just like everyone else.
Every decision you make influences you and your life’s trajectory.
There is no break from life. That’s why, whether you like it or not,
the way you choose to have fun is directly correlated with your
success or failure.

Fun or leisure?
According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, fun is something
that amuses and engages. But it can also refer to a diversion,
something that distracts from other things.
For many, having fun is a way to escape from real life. But if fun dis-
tracts you from reaching your personal goals, then it brings noth-
ing good to your life.

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We all need periods of leisure and relaxation, but these have to

motivate us, renew our energy, and offer us the incentive to con-
tinue our journey towards success.

Is there any connection between

fun and success?
When choosing a fun activity, you should keep in mind the following
guidelines.
1. The activity should be constructive. It shouldn’t offend anyone or
harm anything. There must be no casualties afterwards.
2. The activity should be inclusive. It shouldn’t isolate you from peo-
ple, but, instead, help you develop social relations.
3. The activity should not cause any regrets. You shouldn’t have any-
thing to feel ashamed for afterwards, and you should be able tell oth-
ers what you did, without the need to hide or “confess.”
4. The activity should be creative, which means it should be eye-open-
ing and refresh your mind. You should think “outside of the box”, de-
veloping different skill sets and your intelligence.
5. The activity should be centered on Christ. True joy comes from
Christ. Make sure that everything you do brings Him glory, and that
you’re continually strengthening your character.
6. The activity should be according to your religious principles. It
should allow you to easily include praying at its beginning, middle or
end.

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 A fulfilled life

The book has six chapters, each drawing the reader’s attention
to a different aspect that contributes significantly to the quality of
life. The book begins with suggestions on how a young person can
make a difference (for the better) in the world they live in, and con-
tinues by listing relevant topics, such as the importance of healthy
human relationships, ways of overcoming crisis situations, the role
of the religious-spiritual life, the value of good manners and having
fun in a constructive way.
The simple, accessible language, the practical value of the offered
ideas and suggestions, as well as the realistic goals all make A ful-
filled life into a book that can help young people find their way to a
fully rewarding life.