Today I Am Free

Manifesting Through Deep Inner Changes

By Richard Dotts
Table of Contents

Chapter 1 - Today I Am Free

Chapter 2 - The Manifestation Buck Stops With You
Chapter 3 - Manifestation In Progress!
Chapter 4 - How Interpersonal Relationships Affect Your
Manifestations
Chapter 5 - Can Other People's Thoughts Affect Our Manifestations?
Chapter 6 - Today I Am Free from the Opinions of Others
Chapter 7 - Every Encounter is an Opportunity to Practice
Chapter 8 - Manifesting Independently of Others In Life
Chapter 9 - Today I Am Free From Passing Judgments
Chapter 10 - Today I Am Free From Guilt & Addictions
Chapter 11 - Today I Am Free To Create
© Richard Dotts 2015

1 st Kindle Edition
Questions / comments? The author can be contacted at RichardDotts@gmail.com
Chapter 1 - Today I Am Free
I have been a worrywart since young.
I remember sitting in my dad’s car and looking out of its window
at a very young age, pondering over all the “problems” in my life at
that time. Petty concerns and worries, which to a child, seemed like
the world back then — Who was going to be my friend in school?
How was I perceived by my peers and teachers? Was I well-liked?
Will I do well?
I remember one afternoon in particular, when I wondered when
my life would finally be free of these problems. In my youthful
innocence, I reasoned that these “problems” would probably stop
after I leave school, when I would finally have nothing to worry about.
Then I would be able to enjoy life itself!
As I entered my teenage years and subsequent adulthood, the
“problems” in my life did not just go away. Instead, they morphed into
a different set of problems. I found myself worrying about money,
about acceptance in society and about achieving something of
significance in life. Different problems, but the same incessant
worrying and mind chatter going on and on.
In fact, it seemed like worrying was going to be the natural way
of life for me. While growing up, I was taught the “value” of worrying
by my mother, who was a worrywart herself. She was always
extolling the virtues of “being prepared in advance”, not realizing that
in order to do so, she was running through half a dozen disaster
scenarios in her mind each time. My mother was constantly on the
lookout for the next thing that could go wrong so she could “prevent”
it.
And so, not having questioned these worrying thoughts for
myself, I came to accept them as normal in my life. I came to accept
all the incessant mind chatter that lived inside my head for several
decades. I lived with them, worked with them and went to bed at
night with them. The mind chatter kept me awake for many, many
nights, where my mind would just run through one possibility after
another without realizing the truth behind all of them.
The truth is that none of those thoughts were real.
I would have continued to live this way if not for a few
significant events in my life. First and broadly, I encountered these
spiritual teachings which I would go on to write about in my books.
The work of several authors, in particular Lester Levenson (Creator
of “The Sedona Method”) and Byron Katie (The Work), made me
realize that our thoughts are not real. They are just our own
projections onto the external world, which can then go on to create
our external reality. Byron Katie teaches that when one believes in
their own thoughts, they suffer. This was certainly true for me all
those years. I chose to believe in my own baseless negative
worrying and fear thoughts. The end result was an extremely poor
self-image and a very pessimistic view towards life. Hence the first
step was for me to be free from my own thoughts.
Second, as I frequently teach, is that it is not possible to stew in
negative thoughts for long periods of time without having some form
of unwanted physical manifestation. For me, those unwanted
manifestations came in the form of major setbacks in life which
resulted from years of negative thinking. Those painful setbacks
forced me to finally sit up and take notice. They forced me to take a
good look at my life and to examine all the possible causes. After I
was done blaming all the external circumstances for my seeming
misfortune, I realized that the only cause I had not thoroughly
examined was the nature of my own thoughts .
It was only after a few hard, terrible experiences that I realized I
had to take full responsibility for my own personal development. I
could not continue to engage in worrying, critical and judgmental
thoughts while hoping that positive things would happen to me on
the outside. Of course, this is easier said than done and it took me
several years to do so. The second step thus was for me to be free
from several negative behaviors and thought patterns.
Third, I encountered the teachings of Abraham-Hicks, Seth,
Louise Hay, Neville and a whole host of wonderful inspirational
teachers (too many to list here) who teach that it is possible for us to
create our own reality. Once I had overcome all my negative
conditioning, I began to focus on creating a new desired reality
following all the principles taught by these great teachers. What
followed has been a period of flourishing in my life, where each year
has been progressively better than the last. As they frequently say in
The Silva Method: “May the rest of your life be the best of your life!”
As I look back at all these teachings I encountered in my life, I
realize that all of them have their unique place and value. All of them
contributed to a piece of the spiritual puzzle for me, as they will for
you. But the biggest piece of the puzzle was myself . This is often
the most difficult piece for us to work with because we often do not
have an objective view of ourselves. We are able to see and readily
point out the flaws in others but we remain mostly invisible to
ourselves. Until we work with this unseen portion of ourselves, until
we bring our hidden beliefs and behaviors to light and work with
them, our full potential will always be limited by what we cannot see.
And so this sets the intention for the book which you are now
holding in your hands. In my earlier books, I have focused on the
importance of giving up your negative feelings of worry and fear. I
have placed special and heavy emphasis on these two types of
negative feelings because they are usually major obstacles to
manifestation for most people. Once someone is able to give up their
need to worry, manifestations usually happen very quickly for them.
In this book however, I move beyond worries and fear to talk about
the importance of freeing yourself from the judgment and approval of
others, and the need to judge or approve of others. You’ll quickly
discover (as I did) that when you free yourself of these destructive
behaviors, your manifestations will flow even faster and more
effectively than before. An individual compounds all the inner work
which they have done as they give up more of their emotional
baggage.
When you reach a point where there is very little emotional
baggage holding you back, you are finally free to create. This is
when you can truly harness the full power of all the spiritual
teachings which you have encountered. This is when you can truly
create anything you want that you consider to be of value in your life.
Until and unless you do the inner work necessary to create these
deep inner changes, you will always be limited in terms of what you
can manifest on the outside. This is not because someone is
physically limiting your progress, but because you are limiting your
own progress by engaging in certain destructive behaviors or
thought patterns. (I use the word “destructive” here to mean a
“destruction” of your own desired manifestations.) Without becoming
free of the need to judge or to gain the approval of others, one
cannot be truly free to create. It is my intention to guide you through
powerful tips and techniques which will allow you to create from a
truly free state.
It is a surreal feeling to be writing these words today. Today I
Am Free is a simple proclamation and four simple words in the
English language. Yet they mean so much to me. To go from a
person who was once worrying around the clock, once worrying
himself sick and worrying himself to insomnia… to being someone
who has literally “forgotten how to worry” is a very liberating feeling.
To go from someone who was constantly judgmental of others, who
constantly criticized and sought the approval of others… to someone
who is finally free from the judgment of others is an amazing feeling.
When I realized that I am finally free, and that I have always been… I
was filled with such intense unbridled joy that I had to walk up and
down the length of my office just to shake off some of that
excitement! The recognition of this truth still excites me today.
Today I Am Free is a realization that you can choose to make
at any time. Only you can choose whether you want to be free or
otherwise. Your decision to be free is not based on any external
circumstances. It is not based on the people around you or the
events that are happening in your life. It is not based on your stage
in life. There is no stage in life where you’ll automatically become
free. Old age does not do it. Retirement does not do it. “When the
kids grow up” does not do it. I am therefore happy to report that I
was wrong back then. My fallacious thinking that I could only be
“free” from my problems once I reached a particular stage in my life
stemmed from my habit of ascribing my problems to external causes.
Instead, all of those problems have always been the direct result of
my own thinking only. Once I chose to be free from my own thoughts
and from the better judgment of others, I was finally free to create
and live the way I liked.
I invite you to join me on this journey right now and start
realizing that you too, have been free all along . Right now, you may
perceive several problems and obstacles along your path. They may
seem to be particularly daunting and big, so much so that you may
find it difficult to free yourself from the worry thoughts, negative
behaviors and destructive thought patterns that cloud your
awareness. You may find it difficult to ignore the opinions and
judgments of others in these matters. But understand that all that is
only your current reality, and your current reality can easily be
changed into a more desired one. I am here to assure you that this
change is possible and even easy, if you allow it to be. If a worrywart
like me (who worried about everything under the sun) can do it and
be completely free from all worries… then everyone else can do it. I
will show you a way to get out of your own way, to get out of your
mind’s way and to live freely, just as I have shown hundreds of
thousands of readers around the world. The only thing I cannot do is
to put all this into practice for you. This is where you must do the
inner work necessary to see all of this through in your own life.
My readers often ask how I can write from such a state of high
energy and inspiration for each new book, and where my ideas come
from. To me, writing seems like the most natural thing in the world to
do. I am not straining or searching particularly hard for these ideas,
for all I am writing about is the story of my own life and the
experiences that I have been through. I am merely writing from my
own perspective, sharing tips and techniques which I have used
along the way to overcome certain blind-spots in my own thinking.
Hopefully, as a result of reading about my experiences and learning
from them, the reader does not need to go through these
experiences and detours in the way I have. The struggles and
setbacks along the way are always optional. You do not need to fail
or fall down hard before you can experience the ease and flow in
your life. We only need to struggle until we finally learn the lessons,
and with that we transcend into a new stage of understanding.
 It is my sincere intention that as you read this book, and
especially at the end of this book… you too will be able to throw your
arms up high in the air and shout at the top of your lungs: “Today I
Am Free!” And once you have tasted that freedom, you will never
look back. It will always remain a part of you, eternal and
unchanging.
Chapter 2 - The Manifestation Buck Stops With
You
I have probably heard the phrase “the buck stops here” in
passing more than a hundred times. Corporate and political leaders
in modern times (most notably the late U.S. President Harry Truman)
use it to mean taking full responsibility for decisions made within
their organization. It means that the top person in any organization
accepts ultimate responsibility for decisions made under their
charge, and stops passing on the buck (blame).
It was only recently that I realized the full significance of this
phrase when applied in an individual context. Yes, “the buck stops
here” contains within it a powerful manifestation principle — a
principle which if properly understood, is even more valuable than
the common philosophy of “accepting 100% responsibility”
commonly expounded in self-help books.
I invite you now to contemplate upon the truth that the
manifestation buck stops with you. The obvious meaning of this
saying is that you are responsible for everything which you create in
your physical reality. But that’s not the meaning I am referring to
here. Instead, I invite you to ponder the possibility that all of your
emotions and feelings, whether positive or negative, end with you .
They remain with you. When you allow yourself to stew in these
feelings for hours or even days on end, these feelings can have very
real effects on your outer, physical manifestations. And hence as
with all positive or negative emotions, the emotions stop at you.
Making this realization is profound and powerful because it
makes us pause and ponder. It makes us stop in our tracks and
really look at what is going on in our inner state. What are the
feelings that are there? What feelings are we carrying around with us
for most of our day without even knowing it? What feelings have we
carried over from the previous activity or previous day to the next?
What residual feelings are you carrying right now as you read this
book?
 All too often, our feelings spillover from one activity to the next
without us even realizing it. Of course, it is alright if these are good,
positive and pleasant feelings as they will go on to result in desired
manifestations… but frequently (and if left unchecked) they are not.
We sometimes (or oftentimes!) allow our days to be marred by a
small unpleasant encounter in the morning or by a small incident at
the workplace, and then stew for the whole day in those negative
feelings. Each time we bring up and replay the incident in our mind,
we are re-living and immersing ourselves in those negative feelings
once more with great intensity and realism. Such vivid replay and
immersion in these negative feelings can only lead to unwanted
physical manifestations down the road.
Unconscious creators do not realize that the manifestation
buck stops with them . They do not understand why seemingly
unwanted things keep recurring in their experience, not realizing they
have been fully responsible for them through the power of their
unchecked thoughts! They bear the full consequences of carrying
those negative feelings around with them in their consciousness. No
one else is responsible for the effects of the thoughts in your head
except yourself! No other person on the planet bears the brunt, not
even the person (or events) that you are angry with, or the person
(or events) which made you feel angry in the first place!
You may have a perfectly valid reason to feel the way you do,
and that’s absolutely alright. We all have the freedom to feel or think
whatever we want to. But you must understand that no matter what
you choose, the manifestation buck stops with you. This means that
you must be prepared for the consequences of holding on to all
those negative, unwanted emotions. Are these consequences
something which you can bear? Are you willing to accept unwanted
physical manifestations and a delay of the desired good in your life?
Are you willing to accept more negative situations in your life?
Resolve right now to make a decision to be free from all these
negative feelings and emotions. The state of being free is a
conscious decision and choice which you can make at any time…
not something that happens automatically when you reach a certain
state of enlightenment in your life. It is a choice which you can make
this moment, right now.
 I made this choice many years ago in my spiritual journey when
I realized the tremendous creative power of both my positive and
negative thoughts. I had always known about the creative power of
my positive thoughts as that was a subject commonly covered in
many spiritual and self-help books. Most teachers talk about thinking
and focusing positively in order to create a desired reality. But what I
did not know was the tremendously destructive power of my negative
thoughts. Once again, I use the word “destructive” here not to imply
anything “bad”, but simply to refer to a destruction of our desired
manifestations. When I finally understood the cumulative effects of
my negative thoughts on my manifestations, I resolved to never think
in that way again.
Does this mean that negative situations stopped cropping up in
my life once I made that decision? No, life still continued happening
for me, as it will for you. I still encountered my fair share of unhappy
situations, interpersonal problems and less than considerate road
users. Those were all the result of my residual (old) vibrations.
However, my attitude towards these individuals and circumstances
changed considerably. Instead of allowing myself to hold on to my
negative feelings in self-righteousness or be judgmental about the
situation, each incident was a physical reminder that the
manifestation buck stopped with me. In a strange way, I saw the
humor in all of those situations and was able to let go of my feelings
of anger or frustration very quickly when they happened. I also
became slightly bemused as to why the other party would willingly
hold on to those negative feelings for so long!
One common misconception about spiritual growth is that
individuals who have done the inner work should not feel any
negative or undesired feelings at all. Most people therefore go to
great lengths to avoid feeling angry, critical, judgmental, irritated or
frustrated at others. When they do, they become extremely
disappointed with themselves and criticize themselves for their own
lack of spiritual progress. This form of self-judgment and self-
criticism is seldom useful. Spiritual enlightenment does not mean a
total inability to feel these negative feelings. Even the Dalai Lama
has candidly admitted that he gets angry at times.
 Spiritual enlightenment refers to an inability (or an
unwillingness) to stew in these negative feelings. It refers to the
ability to let go of these feelings so quickly the moment they arise
before any damage (physical manifestations or the attraction of other
negative thoughts) is done. Once you manage to do so, you free
yourself from the crutches of all these negative feelings and save
yourself from lots of unnecessary suffering in the process! If you’ll
make this your primary goal over the next few months or so, you’ll
find yourself letting go of these unwanted feelings with greater and
greater ease. You’ll find them slipping off you like water running off a
duck’s back or a waxed leaf. This is the imagery which I frequently
hold in my mind — water droplets running off a lotus leaf, with
absolutely no effort, struggle or strain. The struggle comes only
when we allow ourselves to hold on to and stew in those negative
feelings.
Once you understand that spiritual mastery is about your ability
to let go of negative feelings rather than the ability to not feel those
feelings at all, you lighten up considerably. Suddenly, you stop being
so harsh and hard on yourself. You understand that it is absolutely
alright to feel all kinds of negative or even “bad” feelings, so long as
you do not hold on to them. Recognize them for what they truly are:
just mere feelings (energy) caused by our own thoughts. Individuals
are often surprised when I tell them it is alright to feel spontaneous
feelings of anger, jealously, lust, frustration or irritation. They are
surprised to hear this coming from a spiritual teacher. But the
difference is that in the moment I feel these feelings, I have already
let them go without judging them for what they are, or holding on to
them for one moment longer. I do not criticize myself for having any
of them. I just let them go in the moment. Because I have made this
my goal for the longest time, I am often able to let go of these
feelings in less than a second. They run off like water on a duck’s
back for me. That is a huge improvement compared to who I was in
the past, when I would carry them around for weeks or even months
on end!
I once heard an amusing story from an uncle of mine, who not
surprisingly was afflicted with all kinds of unexplainable physical
ailments and aches. Science is now validating the mind-body
connection that self-help pioneers have suggested since the 1970’s.
It is now beginning to show that negative emotions, if held in the
body for long periods of time can and will lead to physical illnesses,
which are actually a form of (unwanted) physical manifestations. This
uncle recounted the story of how he was overcharged by his
mechanic for two pieces of wire, and he had been walking around
seething with anger over that experience for the past fifteen years!
When asked how much he was overcharged, he indignantly replied
that it was for twenty dollars! Can you believe it? Giving up so much
of your happiness, well-being, health, and other positive
manifestations in life for a mere twenty dollars? Allowing yourself to
stew in negative feelings of anger for fifteen years over twenty
dollars? Allowing yourself to walk around with that unhappy
experience for twenty dollars? His bitterness was not hurting anyone
else, certainly not the mechanic. He had to bear the full brunt of it.
Sadly, there are many of such individuals around, which explains
why there are still a number of unhappy and bitter people in the
world today. Chances are they are not just stewing over one single
incident, but many related and similar incidents that happened in
their lives. All of these incidents are attracted by their dominant
vibrations, which will only compound their negative feelings. If only
they knew the immense power of their thoughts, they would be able
to turn their whole lives around in an instant. They are already free
without even realizing it! The laws of our Universe are so powerful
that we have the freedom to choose to suffer.
Let’s flip the question around. Now that you know the
immensely creative power of your negative thoughts, how much
would someone have to pay you to stew in those feelings? Certainly
not twenty dollars! How about one million dollars? Or not for any
amount? I hope I have convinced you about the gravity of continually
holding on to your negative thoughts for even one moment longer.
They are not worth holding on to at any price ! When you put things
in this perspective, you instantly lighten up and let go of many of
your petty worries and concerns. Suddenly everything falls into
place. You stop seeing the money and little things in your life as
being so important. When someone overcharges you for ten dollars,
you simply laugh it off… not because you are easily-fooled, but
because you know better than that. When someone goes out of their
way to give you a difficult time, you choose to ignore them and to
treat them with kindness and respect… not because you’re a
pushover, but because you know better. You know what the other
person does not, which is the truth that the manifestation buck stops
with you (and their manifestation buck stops with them).
When you commit yourself to living in this manner and always
coming from that place of highest love and peace, you’ll find your
outer reality gradually change. As you let go of more and more of
your negative feelings, you’ll find yourself coming into contact with
fewer of these unpleasant or undesirable situations. This is the
reality which I live in nowadays. I rarely come into contact with
situations that rile me, whereas they used to be quite a regular
occurrence for me! Consequently, you’ll also find yourself feeling
fewer and fewer of the undesirable emotions. They have become a
thing of the past for me. Has the world around me changed for the
better? Maybe. But I know that the biggest change has taken place
in myself. As Dr. Wayne Dyer puts it so beautifully, “When you
change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”
The rest of this book shows you how to make these changes and
recognize the freedom that has always been in you.
Chapter 3 - Manifestation In Progress!
All kinds of emotions and feelings, when allowed to linger in the
body, can lead to instant manifestations. In the beginning, these
instant manifestations will be in the form of an attraction of similar
thoughts and ideas. For example, if you hold an angry thought in
your mind or allow yourself to feel angry over something, you’ll find
that your anger gets worse the more you think about it. You begin to
access more angry thoughts and find more reasons to validate your
anger. You begin to find more things in your life or in your current
situation to be angry about. This is the fundamental Law of Attraction
at work here, in which like thoughts attract more thoughts of a similar
nature.
Let’s suppose that instead of letting it all go at this point, you
continue to stew in your pot of negative angry thoughts. What you
have just done through the power of your thoughts is to attract a
whole heavy mass of negative angry thoughts, similar in nature to
the initial one which got it all started. The funny thing is that they
don’t even have to be related to the same incident, so long as they
are similar in terms of vibration. In other words, you start having all
kinds of bad-feeling thoughts come to you… and some may even be
from yesterday, from other areas of your life or from a long time ago!
If you will, picture a dense dark cloud getting larger and larger as
more similar thought forms are drawn to it… That is a very accurate
visual representation of these Universal Laws at work and a good
reminder to keep at hand.
The short term consequence of all this is that you feel
miserable on the inside, and these bad feelings cloud the perception
and enjoyment of your day. You could be enjoying your life but you’re
not. Instead, you are spending your time stewing over that negative
event. You feel bitter about your world, and the feeling is so awful
inside because you are not allowing yourself to experience your full
rightful connection to the Universe. However, there are also longer
term consequences. Let’s suppose that you carry this dense, black
cloud with you everywhere you go. You allow your inner state to be
like this for most of your day. What will now happen is that you start
attracting people, events and circumstances of a similar nature —
more things to be angry about, more stuff to be unhappy about and
so on. Through the power of your thoughts and feelings, you have
just manifested a series of physical events which bring you even
more unhappiness… and the cycle continues.
The fascinating thing about the Law of Attraction is that this
cycle works in both directions. You can easily replace “anger” with
“love” in the preceding example and everything will work just as well.
You can replace angry thoughts with happy thoughts and in an
instant, your life goes from one of hell-on-earth to heaven-on-earth!
Your life can change in an instant once you fully understand
and live these Universal principles! The key is to catch yourself when
you are descending on the downward spiral and prevent yourself
from getting too far down . Therefore, if you are able to catch
yourself once that initial thought forms and let it go right there and
then, then you have halted all unwanted manifestations in their
tracks. But if you are only able to catch yourself when the physical
manifestations have occurred, then you have more cleaning up to
do. You’ll now have to physically pick up the pieces and undo your
unwanted manifestations. This is why manifestations are all about
developing an extremely acute sense of self-awareness and inner
awareness. Knowing what goes on at all times in your inner state is
key.
I would like to offer a simple technique that complements the
previous manifestation principle (the manifestation buck stops with
you) perfectly. This technique is what I use on a daily basis to let go
of any unwanted residual feelings and emotions before they become
that looming mass of dark cloud. When you use this technique, you
diffuse the cloud before it forms and before it goes on to affect your
physical manifestations.
What I have realized is that we all hold on to our unwanted
residual feelings in different ways. For me, I hold on to them through
an unconscious clenching of my jaw / teeth. When I feel nervous or
worried, I would clench my jaws together quite tightly without
realizing it. In fact, I did it with such intensity over a long period of
time that the alignment of my teeth have been affected! It was only
after discovering this that I realized how much I had held on to my
unwanted feelings and emotions over the years. Another way I hold
on to unwanted negative feelings is through a momentary holding of
my breath or through shallow breathing. Once again, all these
unconscious physical actions were not obvious to me until I
deliberately looked out for them.
What I would like you to do is to observe yourself as you go
about your day. Each time a situation comes up that makes you feel
worried, angry or frustrated (any negative emotion), notice how your
body handles it . Is there a subtle physical action that you engage
in? It may just be one small action which you do over and over
again, or it may be a combination of several almost imperceptible
actions. Everyone has developed different ways of coping with their
residual feelings over time. A few common coping mechanisms I
have seen are: Scratching certain parts of our bodies, twiddling of
our thumbs, nervous laughter, twitching or trembling in parts of our
body and so on. Sometimes these physical actions are noticeable to
everyone except ourselves! They have become such a natural part
of our being that we do not even notice we are doing them. Just be
still and notice what you do each time one of these negative
emotions well up inside you. It may also be spontaneous
physiological signs such as a quickening of your breath and a light-
headed feeling. Our bodies handle residual feelings in different
ways, so it pays to notice what happens in your case.
Why does our body react in this way? Feelings and emotions
are nothing more than energy flowing through our body. When our
physical bodies are suddenly subject to an influx of energy, it has to
do something to deal with that energy, as best as it can. It tries hard
to expend that energy (to get it out of our systems) so that we can
return to a state of natural equilibrium. As we tend to hold on to our
negative emotions instead of letting them go at once, our bodies
have no effective ways to let go of these negative emotions other
than to engage in these small physical actions to “shake them off”.
These physical actions are our body’s attempts to shake off some of
that worry / nervous / angry energy. If you have ever felt your whole
body tremble while you were in an intense state of anger, this is what
we are talking about here. Your body was trying to cope with the
sudden influx of powerful energy in your system.
Once you notice the subtle signs which your body
unconsciously exhibit when you are feeling negative emotions, you’ll
now have a physical signal to work with every single time. We no
longer manifest unconsciously. Instead, we now have a bright and
clear “Manifestation In Progress!” sign that lights up for us each time
we are creating our physical reality! Can you see the immense value
in having such a real-time signal? Instead of waiting until our
unwanted physical manifestations have occurred to realize that we
created all that mess unknowingly, we are now instantly alerted the
moment our manifestations take shape.
What I have done is to train myself to look out for these subtle
physical signs throughout the day. It should take very little effort once
you make the initial link between the bodily actions and the negative
emotions. For example, whenever I notice an unconscious and
automatic clenching of my jaw, I immediately see the “Manifestation
In Progress!” sign light up in my head. That is when I take a few
seconds to drop in to my inner state and ask myself these two
important questions: (1) What exactly am I manifesting here? And (2)
Is it something wanted or unwanted?
These two questions can save you from lots of unnecessary
effort later on. Very often, I notice that I am right on my way to
unwanted manifestations. This realization alone makes me let go of
everything in that moment. The clenching of my jaws may have been
due to certain worry feelings I felt, and I would not have realized I
was negatively creating without these physical signs to alert me.
How does this simple habit of noticing help in your daily
manifestations? First, it alerts you the moment dark clouds start to
form and gather mass. The bodily signs alert you to the very first
signs of an unwanted thought and feeling forming in your body. The
best time to let go of a thought is when it has not gained much
traction, right when it just started to form. Therefore, you’ll be able to
let go of your small thoughts and feelings very easily at this stage. If
you wait until they have grown considerably in intensity, it may be
difficult to deal with the resulting vibrations and unwanted feelings.
 Second, letting go of these residual feelings restores your
peaceful inner state. Your inner state is one centered on love and
peace. When there are no negative thoughts or feelings clouding
your perception, you feel a spontaneous good feeling. This good
feeling is your connection to the Universal source energy and it is
always there. Unfortunately, negative feelings and faulty beliefs that
cloud our awareness prevent us from noticing or feeling these
powerful good feelings. You are either positively or negatively
creating in each moment of your life. Negative creation takes effort,
because you have to consciously immerse yourself in negative and
unwanted feelings in order to keep vibrating at that level. Positive
creations, on the other hand, are effortless. This is perhaps one of
the most difficult spiritual truths for people to grasp, which is why
they continue to place so much emphasis on physical “work”. They
think they have to be out there, physically working at something in
order to manifest positive things in their lives. But positive
manifestations happen spontaneously when you free yourself from
all the negative feelings. Our natural state is one of effortless love
and peace. These good feelings arise spontaneously in our
awareness once we default to a state of zero and nothingness,
which means that our good is eternally flowing to us the moment we
let go of our need to hold on to our negative emotions.
Once you notice that the negative feelings and emotions are
there (through your noticing of the bodily actions), there is no need to
ruminate in them or examine why these feelings are there in the first
place. There is no need to do a psychoanalysis of what caused you
to feel that way. This kind of logical thinking and attempted fact-
finding seldom serves its purpose, and if anything, will only lead an
individual further into depression. One of the “mistakes” I made
during the years I spent in deep depression was to keep asking
myself the question: Why do I feel so miserable? Why am I not
happy? Of course, asking these questions only leads us in the wrong
direction. Your brain will throw up any answers in response to the
questions you ask, even if they are baseless and misleading. The
appropriate thing I should have done back then was to simply let all
of my feelings of misery and negativity go, just like that!
 A most delightful statement I have heard is this: The only
reason for finding out why something happened is if you expect it to
happen again! What a profound statement that represents a high
level of understanding! Don’t waste time changing the tail of your
bad feelings, that will only make you run in circles. Instead, let them
go the moment you notice they are there.
This is the process which I use for letting go: The moment I
notice the bad feelings I’ve been unconsciously holding on to, I take
a deep breath and ask myself if I can let them go. Invariably, the
answer will be a “yes” since these are just feelings (thought-forms
and energy) that I have been holding on to!
As I come to the realization that I can let go of them, I gently
breathe out. I repeat this as many times as possible until I feel all the
negative energy gone from within me. As I breathe out, I picture the
negative emotions as a dark cloud being exhaled out of me and
leaving my body. My jaws gradually relax and I check in to my inner
state to ensure that no trace of that feeling remains. If even the
slightest trace of that unwanted feeling remains, I repeat the letting-
go process with the remaining feeling.
Especially in the beginning, it may be necessary to do the
“letting go” process more than once. I’ve had to do it a few hundred
times continuously in certain cases, but trust me, the relief that you
get will be immense! Doing it a few hundred times may take you an
hour or two at most, while stewing over it will have you mad at it for a
few months or for a whole lifetime, not to mention the negative
manifestation outcomes in your life!
You will be doing yourself a big favor if you deal with unwanted
feelings and emotions in this way each time they arise. One of the
biggest benefits is that your wanted manifestations will come very
quickly. I highly recommend the work of the late Lester Levenson
and his student, Hales Dwoskin (The Sedona Method) in learning
how to let go of your negative emotions. Most people turn away from
these teachings because “negative emotions” seem to have no
relation to their manifestations, but the link can’t be more obvious.
When you let go of all your negative feelings, your desired
manifestations have to happen spontaneously for you!
Chapter 4 - How Interpersonal Relationships
Affect Your Manifestations
Why is it so difficult for most people to completely let go of their
residual tensions, worries and fears? We have already covered one
main reason, which is a lack of knowledge / awareness about the
serious consequences of holding on to these residual feelings. The
second reason is because individuals do not know how to let these
feelings go. We have never been taught how we can effectively let
these feelings go without letting them stew and develop. All through
life, we have been taught that the only way was to “sit through” the
bad feelings themselves and hope we would feel better over time. As
a result, our bodies have come up with various physical coping
mechanisms to deal with these unwanted feelings, not all of them
healthy (or fully effective).
Let me take you through an actual example using the steps
described in the previous chapter. Let’s suppose that I am going
through my day and suddenly notice myself clenching my jaws more
tightly than usual. I am already aware of the link between my jaw-
clenching and my holding on to unwanted negative thoughts.
Therefore the moment the jaw-clenching happens, I am able to stop
whatever I am doing and drop in to my inner state. I realize after
dropping into my inner state that my jaw-clenching was caused by a
text message which I received from a colleague just a few seconds
earlier. The colleague had written something which caused me to
feel spontaneous feelings of irritation towards her.
Now remember that all of this manifestation work is never about
the other person. It is always about ourselves and our own
manifestations. Therefore, while we may perceive the “blame” to be
on the other person for making us feel this way, the manifestation
buck stops with us. We bear the full consequences of both our
positive and negative feelings. My jaw-clenching was the
“Manifestation In Progress!” sign lighting up for me.
 In that same instant, I ask myself two questions: What am I in
the process of manifesting? The answer is obvious. My unwanted
feelings of irritation will only lead to more situations that irritate me in
the future, whether it has to do with this colleague or otherwise. And
the second question: Is it something wanted or unwanted? I realize
in a few short seconds that I was on my way to potentially unwanted
manifestations. That is when I do the breathing and letting-go
exercise. It takes me a few rounds, but I finally let go of all the
irritation in my body before they become stronger and more intense
feelings of dislike or anger. As a result of letting go of my irritation, I
decided not to reply to the colleague’s text message and hence
diffused a potentially tricky situation. Had I reacted like my old self
and replied with equal indignation, I might have set off (manifested) a
string of potentially unpleasant events! Therefore, the immediate
benefits of letting-go are immense! There is nothing more valuable
than your inner state.
I urge you to go through your day while repeating this exercise
for yourself. In the beginning (as it was for me), there will be lots of
incidents and instances like what I have described above. That’s
absolutely alright. All of life can throw itself at you and you can still
be free , because you are no longer held captive by the feelings and
emotions that you feel. You no longer follow them down the path.
Instead, what you have just learned is a new way of letting them go
right there in the moment.
Do you realize how incredibly liberating this feeling is? Do you
realize the immense power which you now have at your fingertips?
No matter what life throws at you, you now have a quick and easy
way to deal with it. Sure, circumstances may be dire (or even
terrible) on the outside… but no matter what those outer
circumstances are, your inner circumstances will never be disturbed.
You will remain like the clear water of a still pond despite any outer
disturbances. That is the ultimate freedom, and that is why you are
already free, perhaps without even realizing it!
The longer you take to put this into practice, the longer you take
to apply all these… the longer you will remain at the mercy of your
unwanted feelings. People, things and circumstances will forever
dictate and control how you feel. You become a slave to your
feelings, an “observer” and “reactor” instead of a “creator”. A creator
decides what he wants to focus upon and how he wants to feel,
while an observer / reactor simply reacts to everything he observes
in his physical reality. But our physical reality is only our current
reality, and your current reality can always be changed for something
even better! An observer, through his fixation on current reality,
actually perpetuates his unwanted reality instead of changing it.
There are many individuals out there who are addicted to the
drama of it all. These are individuals who have over time, become
addicted to their own angry feelings, or the “high” that they get when
they engage in an argument with others. Sadly, our bodies can
become conditioned to find these unwanted feelings familiar,
especially if they are the only feelings we have known all our lives.
If you do not put these techniques into practice and let go of
your unwanted feelings the moment they arise, you will find yourself
getting sucked into lots of nasty situations with these individuals.
They will say something or do something which provokes you, and
then you’ll fall into their trap by reacting the way you have always
done. Sadly, this scenario plays out in relationships, homes and
offices all over the world. Different people, but exactly the same
pattern. Some couples are at it all the time. Some parents are at it all
the time with their children.
Yet if only one party learns the significance of these teachings
and walks away from it all, then the buck stops there. The situation is
changed forever. Try as they might, the other party can never get
you to be a willing party in any argument again! Over time, your
vibrations will be so far apart that they will start to drop out from your
lives or change themselves to match you. If I just described a
situation in your life, try this method of letting go. You will be
surprised at the changes that take place in the other person once
you let go of these feelings yourself. It has never been about the
other person, and there is no need to deliberately try and “change”
the other person. Let him or her be but change your inner state .
Most people in similar situations would talk about wanting to
change the mindset or correct the behavior of the other person by
perhaps reasoning it out with them. Unfortunately (as you probably
have realized), that’s when the situation usually takes a turn for the
worse. That seldom works because we are trying to do things in
reverse! We can never control and dictate the behavior of another
free-willed human being! Try as we might, we will never be able to
control enough people such that their behavior pleases us. Think
about all the things you have to change, and all the people you
would have to “control” for that to work out! You may end up losing
your mind before successfully doing so, which is sadly what has
happened to many who have attempted to “control” the world around
them through such external means. Therefore, don’t fall into the trap
of trying to control external circumstances. Those have never been
under your control anyway. Instead, do it the easier way. Free
yourself from the behaviors and actions of these people. At the same
time, free them from your expectations of them. Stop expecting or
dictating that they behave in a certain way that pleases you.
Whatever way they present themselves to you, just handle it with
poise and let all your feelings go the moment they well up for you.
Very soon, these difficult individuals will disappear from your reality
as they realize nothing they do can even perturb you. Today you are
free!
I am spending some time discussing these teachings in the
context of interpersonal relationships because it is one of the trickier
issues we deal with in our daily lives. Very often, an unpleasant
interaction with just a single individual can spoil our whole day and
lead to a whole host of unwanted bad feelings. We continue to stew
over the encounter for several days or weeks on end, sometimes
even going to the extent of wanting to “get even” with them. Stop
right there! Do you see that “Manifestation In Process!” sign lighting
up in your head along with these thoughts? Don’t allow yourself to go
further and further down the chute. Instead, break out of this
negative cycle by letting-go. It only takes a few minutes but will bring
you a lifetime of lasting peace of mind and relief.
The effects you get when you attempt to physically “control” the
behaviors of others will never be lasting. You may be able to coerce
them into behaving in a certain way through power or intimidation,
but they will rebel at the very first chance they get. This applies to
co-workers, children, spouses, superiors or subordinates! So the
situation can only recur in the future. The only way to become truly
free of the situation is to change how you feel on the inside.
Now I’m not going to kid you and tell you that it is going to be
extremely easy to do. You may not succeed the first few times you
do it. Chances are that you’ll not be able to control yourself the first
few times you need to use this technique. You’ll still be tempted to
react as you always did, probably with a harsh or rude rebuttal. But
that’s alright, developing the awareness is what matters. An
awareness brings everything to light so you can keep working on it.
So never be disappointed by your initial lack of progress. Let go of
that disappointment in yourself too! I think I still reacted in my old
way the first hundred times or so! But I developed greater awareness
and mastery over myself each time I did so. I managed to free
myself a little bit more from my old way of being each time I
practiced this technique. Subtle changes were occurring in my inner
state even though it seemed like I was making little progress.
The first fifty times or so, I could not help but react as I always
did, with a feisty rebuttal to what the other party said. Thereafter, I let
go sufficiently to keep quiet and not offer an initial response.
However, the other party was persistent and kept at it! I found myself
unable to remain silent as they used different ways to provoke a
reaction out of me (which is what they often want). So although I
could keep quiet initially, I found myself caving in and arguing with
them as they continued. Finally, after the hundredth time or so, I
could just let it all go no matter what they said or what they used. I
was truly free! You will get to that point someday if you keep at it.
I deepened my practice to a point where I was able to thank
each and every one of these individuals who gave me a chance to
practice this technique, albeit silently in my mind and not out loud! I
think it is a good mindset to develop. Instead of seeing them as
adversaries, thank them silently with genuine gratitude for giving you
an opportunity to practice. Thank them for bringing these issues to
light so that you can work with them, once and for all. We must
understand that the real problem is never about them. It is about us.
And once we practice being free with them, we free ourselves from
everyone else and from other similar situations in life as well. These
individuals are in our lives for a reason, to give us an opportunity to
practice.
The most counter-intuitive thing happens when you are free
from the perceived “unreasonable” behavior of others. Once you are
free from the negative actions and words of others, the moment you
no longer react to them as before… such situations stop showing up
in your life! I often write that when you finally learn the lessons you
need to learn, these lessons stop presenting themselves to you. In
their place will be peace of mind, freedom and all your positive
manifestations.
Chapter 5 - Can Other People's Thoughts Affect
Our Manifestations?
In my previous books, I have focused mainly on the negatively
creative feelings of worry and fear. These two tend to be the most
pervasive feelings that can keep individuals stuck on the hamster
wheel for years, and hence much focus and self-awareness is
needed to undo their negative effects. I should know, since I spent
many years “trapped” by these feelings without even knowing it.
Much of my experience with fear and worry feelings has been
detailed in my earlier books, such as “It is Done!” and “Playing in
Time and Space”.
The moment an individual finds a way to let go of these
persistent worry and fear feelings, their reality starts to change for
them. They no longer spend so much time and energy feeling
worried, which frees up a huge chunk of their mental capacity to be
spent on their more desired manifestations. However, most students
will also realize after overcoming the hurdles of worry and fear that
there are now other subtler emotions that float to the top of their
awareness. They should not be disappointed with their new
discovery since it is a clear sign of progress. They have dealt with
the major (worry and fear) issues, and now all that is left are the
minor negative feelings that can affect our manifestations. Once you
have eaten most of the cereal floating at the top of the bowl of milk,
those that have sunk to the bottom will now be easier to scoop up.
In my book “Inner Confirmation for Outer Manifestations”, I
share a technique for checking in on your inner state to identify
whether you are positively or negatively creating in the moment. In
this book, I would like to go into greater detail on some of the
negative feelings that are most commonly present in our inner
states. Once again, it is not important why these negative feelings
are there. Attempting to look for their source will be like a dog
chasing its tail. Instead, all you need to do is to become aware of
these feelings and gently let them go. The buck stops with you. You
become free the moment you let them go, and it does not make a
difference whether you understand why they were there in the first
place!
Also, as I’ve realized, many of these feelings are the result of
social / negative conditioning we received when we were young.
Therefore, there may be no “logical” reasons for these beliefs in
many cases. We simply came to accept them as true when we
lacked the necessary reasoning faculties. Think about how a young
child simply accepts Santa Claus as real without any “buts” or
questions. As far as she is concerned, Santa is real and she believes
wholeheartedly in that truth! A new belief was instilled in her young
mind just like that! If it can happen with harmless and innocuous
beliefs such as believing in Santa Claus, there is no reason why
more negative beliefs such as “I am not loved” or “I need to gain the
approval of others” can’t take shape in our young consciousness,
especially if triggered by certain external events. This is the reason
why many of us walk around in adult bodies while still holding on to
many beliefs we have formed as six year olds!
There is nothing inherently “wrong” with having these beliefs.
The issue is not whether these beliefs are true or false . Instead, the
more appropriate question to ask is whether these beliefs are
resourceful. Do our beliefs serve us, or do they create more suffering
for us? Do these beliefs stand in the way of our ultimate freedom to
create? If the answer is “Yes”, then it is a good idea to replace some
of those faulty beliefs with more resourceful ones.
One of the most pervasive beliefs (right after those that cause
worry and fear) is that we need to seek the approval of others in
order to survive. This belief is so pervasive in our society that we will
often go out of our way to please others or to ensure that others form
a good impression of us. As a result, we spend an inordinate amount
of time trying to look good in front of others and trying to make sure
they think well of us. We may even lie or resort to less-than-honest
means to achieve these ends. There have been many books
exploring the causes and effects of such “approval-seeking” behavior
so I shall not go into the full details here. Instead, my intention is to
show you how approval-seeking behavior can potentially affect our
manifestations.
 When we were young, we looked up to the authority figures
(our parents and teachers) in our lives. We accepted everything they
said without question. It is interesting to watch a young child ask his /
her parents a question, and then accept every answer the parents
give… even though the parents may have just lied to her (perhaps to
brush the child off)! As such, I am especially careful when I
communicate with young children these days. I always make it a
point never to brush them off and to give them proper, empowering
answers. Every word uttered to young children or in their presence
goes a long way towards building their beliefs system.
Over time, young children learn that each time they did
something “wrong”, these authority figures in their lives were
displeased and would even take action to withhold certain rewards
from them. As such, they began to associate their survival and well-
being in this world with gaining the approval (avoiding the
disapproval) of others. It was certainly true in their world — Each
time they acted out of line, they were punished, and each time they
acted appropriately, they were rewarded.
While this might have been true for a child, it is no longer true
for us as adults. There are no longer any authority figures in our lives
who can dish out rewards and punishments for us, yet we still
behave as if there is someone who is wanting to reward and punish
us at every turn. The only person who can “punish” us is ourselves,
through our misuse and misunderstanding of these Universal laws!
God certainly doesn’t seek to punish us! Why would a loving father
want to do so? We carry this behavior into society where we are
eager to get into the good books of others and make sure people
think well of us. This belief manifests itself as approval-seeking
behavior and the extreme fear of being judged by others. We are
afraid of being judged or criticized by others whether in a social or
work setting, and we often go to great lengths to engage in
impression management. In one of the courses I teach that touches
on ethics, I often ask college students why there is a need to behave
ethically in life. Class after class, semester after semester, the
answer I receive is always “to avoid being judged by others”. Their
answer indicates that the fear of being judged is more pervasive than
we think, and especially so to college students!
 But you may ask, “How does all this affect my manifestations?
Impression management is a good thing! When others think highly of
us, we will achieve more and be given more opportunities in life. So
where is the downside of holding this belief?”
Therein lies the hidden downside that has trapped so many,
and it is this: If we cannot be totally free from the opinions and
judgments of others, we will always be affected by them. Our inner
states will always be affected by what others think, and hence their
judgments will affect our outer physical reality as well. At the
simplest level, this means that we can never be free from the
opinions of others when deciding what we want. Instead of being
able to focus on our desires purely, we have to deal with the
numerous concerns and objections that others may have. This is
why pandering to the demands and opinions of others can result in
stumbling blocks to our manifestations.
I still remember coming across an ad for a car in the early days
of my journey. I was instantly drawn to the car when I saw it due to
its beautiful design and all the marvelous technological features that
fascinated me. “It would be nice if I can own such a car,” I thought.
However, I immediately came up against a thousand and one
objections in my mind! I was not conscious of it at that time, but most
of my spontaneous objections had to do with the opinions and
judgments of others. For example, what would my friends think of me
if I drove such an expensive car? What would my parents think?
What would my family think? Would they see me as a show-off? How
would I be perceived by others?
Over the years, I have found this to be true for many of my
challenging manifestations as well. Surrounding these intentions
were various concerns and objections related to the imagined
opinions and thoughts of others.
What I would like you to do right now is to gently bring to mind
one of your intentions and see whether this is the case for you. Are
you constantly worried about what others may think and how they
might react? Are you frequently worried about how you will be
perceived, or what will happen if your manifestations do come true
for you? If so, you have fallen into the trap of “seeking approval” for
your intentions and desires.
I have found after doing this exercise with many individuals
over the years that the fear of being judged / criticized by others is
probably one of the biggest stumbling blocks for our manifestations,
right behind our fears / worries that our manifestations will not
happen. Notice that although my initial desire for that car was “pure”
(untainted by the judgments and opinions of others), my vibrations
quickly became contradictory once I held the intention for longer
periods of time. The moment I contemplated and pondered it in my
mind, my old belief system threw up all sorts of objections related to
my fear of being judged. The reverse is true as well — Successful
individuals who surround themselves with friends who achieve
similar levels of success will probably not have these concerns, and
as a result will be able to manifest the same desire effortlessly since
they do not have to deal with this inner hurdle. This is why things can
be slow-to-happen in the beginning when we are trying to create a
new and more desired reality. We are often trapped in our current
circumstances and too concerned about the opinions of others.
Can the opinions and thoughts of others ever affect our
manifestations? For example, can someone else’s thoughts alone
ever prevent us from getting what we want? Abraham-Hicks have
repeatedly assured us that the thoughts of another have absolutely
no say in determining our manifestations . We cannot create on
behalf of another. The only thing that matters is our own thoughts
about the subject. This is especially empowering since it means that
our reality is never at the mercy or in the hands of others. We are
free! When you understand this, you see how contradictory our
unquestioned beliefs and behaviors are. Here we are, believing that
we have to gain the approval and goodwill of others in order to
succeed in life when in fact, our success has never once been
dependent on others! It has always been dependent on ourselves
and ourselves only!
What I have also found to be true is that most of us are unable
to hold our own thoughts without being affected by the judgments
and opinions of others. Therefore, while other people’s thoughts
alone can never affect our manifestations, they can have an effect
on our manifestations through their effect on our own thoughts .
As with everything, awareness is the first step to freeing
yourself from this trap. The moment you are aware that many of your
contradictory vibrations and counter-intentions are caused by the
“imagined” opinions of others, you bring the issue to light and can
finally start to work on it. Previously, you may have all sorts of
objections and concerns without really knowing why. When you free
yourself from the better judgments and opinions of others, you
become free.
Chapter 6 - Today I Am Free from the Opinions of
Others
The opinions of others can run our lives if we are unaware of
their influence. Most people will claim to be free from the better
judgments and opinions of others, but a quick observation of how
they lead their lives shows the exact opposite to be true. For
example, some individuals often proclaim, “I don’t care what others
think of me!” But these are the same individuals who will fuss about
their hair and dressing, or worry about whether they should do this or
that. Of course, I am not suggesting that you become an obnoxious
being who completely ignores those around you. But you should not
become overly-concerned or driven by others to the exclusion of
your own well-being. Your own well-being and inner state should
always take precedence over the judgments and opinions of others.
Here’s a little experiment to see if you are free from the
judgments of others. The next time you are at a social party,
gathering or even a meeting at work, just sit / stand quietly by
yourself and observe the way you feel on the inside. Do you feel self-
conscious? Do you feel uncomfortable? Are you constantly thinking
about how others will perceive you? Even a small nagging feeling
indicates that you are still not free from the judgments and opinions
of others. Resolve to let that feeling go the moment it arises in you.
In fact, I look forward to parties and weddings now (even though I
am not much of an extrovert myself) because it gives me the
precious opportunity to practice letting go of this fear of being
judged. Furthermore, most people whom you encounter at parties or
networking events will be strangers… which means you’ll probably
not see them again in the future! Hence this is a safe way to slowly
become free from the judgments of others.
What I’ll usually do is to stand or sit quietly in a corner of the
room once I arrive. At this moment, most of us will usually have
thoughts of, “Oh no, I can’t blend in here” or “Oh no, everybody
knows somebody and I know no one! I am the odd one out!” Know
that thoughts like this are merely our own projections onto the
situation. We are projecting our own fearful beliefs onto the situation
and taking it as the objective truth… when in fact everything is just
conjured up by our own mind. Everything is merely playing out in our
own mind.
At this moment, you may notice your body exhibiting some of
the subtle physical actions described in Chapter 2. You may feel
your palm starting to sweat, or your jaws clenching up. This is a
perfect reminder for you to let go of those negative fears of being
judged. What I do is to sit / stand in the corner (observing others)
until I completely let go of those negative feelings. Once again,
parties are a wonderful opportunity to practice and I urge you to try it!
Two things immediately happen when I let go of all these
spontaneous self-conscious feelings. First, everything changes for
me. I lighten up and the mood at the party instantly seems more
friendly and at ease. That is because we are no longer projecting our
own baseless fear thoughts onto the situation. Remember the earlier
saying by Wayne Dyer? When we change the way we look at things,
the things we look at change. Second, at this point, I am usually in a
position to enjoy the party more. I usually look more radiant and
carefree instead of stifled and self-conscious. Guess what? People
around you pick up on that too and will start approaching you! They
will start talking to you and the evening gets better from there.
I am not suggesting that you deliberately go to parties or
dinners in order to practice this. Resist the temptation to turn it into
“work” or something you have to practice. But if you do get invited,
and the next time you get invited, treat it as the perfect opportunity to
let go. I no longer dread receiving party or wedding invitations
because these self-conscious feelings no longer come up for me.
Instead, I am able to enjoy the party or the concert freely without any
of the false projections of my ego mind. I am amused at the number
of ways I made myself feel bad previously, by being self-conscious
about literally everything — from my dressing, whether I said the
right things, my appearance to my perceived intelligence! When you
let all of these petty worries and concerns go, you free yourself not
only from that one situation but from all other similar situations in
your life!
 I used to be very self-conscious whenever I was in an elevator
together with strangers. Once again, these are baseless fears and
concerns that originate from an overly-active ego mind. Our parents
might have been so critical of us when we were young (in an attempt
to get us to improve) that we now bear the constant fear of being
criticized and judged. It is important to let go of these feelings that
crop up for you the moment they arise. When I am in an elevator
with strangers and “feel” them judging me, I immediately let those
feelings go without a second thought. I know that those feelings are
not real. They were just carried over from earlier times in my life.
The good news about living in a modern society is that it gives
us ample opportunities to practice. No matter where we live, our
daily commute ensures that we will meet and come into close
proximity with others. Sometimes, this contact can bring up self-
conscious and negative feelings. If I could stick a scope into
someone’s brain and see what they were thinking, it would be, “What
do they think of me?” This scenario repeats itself everywhere around
the world, in almost every social situation, and yet we have come to
accept it as normal! It is not normal. Everyone is just running the
unconscious programs they have picked up from childhood!
How does this affect our manifestations? First, any feeling or
emotion which you immerse yourself in for long periods of time has
an effect on your outer manifestations. Therefore, if you are worried
for most of the day about how you are judged or perceived by
others… you are spending a disproportionate amount of mental
focus on these unwanted aspects of your life. You would have
placed your mental focus on “being judged” or “being criticized”, and
this leads to a downward spiral in which you attract more of these
situations in life to be concerned about.
Over the years, I have interacted individuals from different
walks of life. I noticed that the individuals with extremely low self-
esteem and self-confidence were always the ones who cared most
about how they were perceived by others! The problem became so
serious for some of them that they eventually broke down and could
not function effectively in the real-world. One unfortunate individual,
a friend of mine, quit his job and holed himself up at home. This
would not have been as much of an issue if he was a child, but he is
a fully-grown adult! What happened is that over time, he has allowed
himself to believe in the projections of his own ego. The last we
spoke, he was utterly convinced of how everyone was mocking him
whenever he went.
Fortunately, for most of us, our own self-conscious feelings and
fears of being judged are not as extreme. But still, when we are not
worrying about whether our manifestations will appear, most people
worry about whether they will be favorably perceived by others! Now
you can see why this is the next pervasive belief on the list which we
have to deal with. When you let go of your irrational fears of being
judged, you instantly feel so much lighter and freer that you can now
put all that newfound mental energy towards your desired
manifestations.
So the next time you are in a social gathering with a small
group of friends, take time to check in on your inner state and notice
how you are really feeling on the inside. Are you genuinely enjoying
the gathering of friends, or is there a little part of you that remains
self-conscious about how you look, what you say and how you will
be perceived by others? When you are in a conversation with
another, are you always thinking about how they will react to what
you say? If so, recognize that these are merely your own imagined
projections onto the situation. They are not real to begin with. And
even if the other party reacted or thought unfavorably about
whatever you had to say, it would be something beyond your control
in the first place. We can never control the behaviors and reactions
of others!
Do you see the endless game here that most people
unknowingly participate in? We perceive such a need to control our
external circumstances to get what we want that we attempt to
control the perception of others. We try to look right or say the right
things in the hope that others will give us what we want. Therefore,
all our fears of being judged stem from a need to control the
behavior and perceptions of others, which can never be controlled in
the first place. Every individual is a free-willed being, and there is
nothing you can do if they wanted to perceive you in some other
way.
Once you realize this, you instantly give up all your struggle
and strive in the real world. You stop caring about how you are
perceived at the workplace. Instead, you focus wholeheartedly on
tending to your inner state, because that is the only part of you that
you have full control and autonomy over. That is the only part which
is your responsibility. If you will only focus on tending to your inner
state and center yourself in a state of love and peace, then all the
external circumstances will line up and match up to you. Doesn’t this
sound familiar compared to what you have read in my earlier books?
In my other books, I suggested not worrying about whether your
manifestations would arrive. If only you’ll tend to your inner state and
make your good-feelings your highest priority, then everything you
ask for would appear in the right time. The exact same principle
applies here: If only you’ll tend to your inner state and always live
from a place of highest love and non-judgment, then people and
things will begin to happen for you.
The strangest thing happened once I let go of all my self-
conscious feelings. I encourage you to try this and experience this
firsthand for yourself too. All of a sudden, people started coming up
and talking to me. They opened their hearts and poured their souls
out to me. Deeper into the conversation, they often remarked how
they felt they could trust me, or developed an instant sense of liking
the moment they saw me… even before I said a single word! We felt
like old friends and kindred spirits. Of course, there is a greater
spiritual principle at work here. We are always picking up on the
energy field of others. Beyond our physical appearances and
dressing, your inner state is constantly being projected and
broadcast outwards. We pick up on the energy fields of others as
“first impressions” or “feelings” about another person that we often
ignore in favor of more objective physical evidence. Ironically, our
first impression is often the most reliable because it comes from a
part of others that they cannot mask or hide. Whatever is there in our
inner states is projected outwards clearly for everyone to see. The
moment I dropped my need to control the impression or opinions of
others about me, those around me picked up on my new inner state
and developed an instant liking to me. They knew that I was not
there to manipulate them in any way. I was there to interact with the
purest of intentions. Give up your need to control others!
Conversely, when you find a need to use one of the many
“tools” out there to manage other’s impressions of you… tools such
as NLP, mirroring, persuasion / brainwashing / manipulation /
hypnosis for building “instant” rapport, you fall into the trap of using
outer-directed actions to control the external world to get what you
want. I have already shown you the fallacy of using these methods
throughout all of my books. In fact, you can prove it to yourself
easily. How do you feel each time you watch a presenter on stage
using one of those NLP or “instant rapport” techniques? What is the
first / purest impression you get? Sure, you may find yourself
agreeing with some of his points, but the nagging and overriding
impression that simply refuses to go away is that he is a smooth and
slick talker! He comes across as fake and insincere. He seems to be
hiding something but you can’t seem to put your finger on it.
We always pick up on a person’s true intentions (his inner
state) which no amount of external techniques can mask! Free
yourself from the need to use all these external methods and
techniques today. You have always been free.
Chapter 7 - Every Encounter is an Opportunity to
Practice
The free, manifestative state is our natural state that comes to
us without even trying. It is a state that is independent from our doing
and from all our physical actions. It is a state of pure being as
opposed to doing . Any time you feel the urge to engage in outer-
directed actions to “make something happen” on the outside, you
ironically move further and further away from your natural free state
into a state of scarcity, limitation and lack. These outer-directed
actions may be manifestation techniques such as affirmations and
visualizations that try to make something happen, or they may be
persuasion techniques to subliminally influence another person to
agree with you. Our egos perceive the need to use these techniques
because it sees each one of us as separate from one another, and
hence the need for competitive actions to shore up / accumulate as
much good for oneself as possible. However, as a student of this
material, you know better. You know that the only thing you really
have lasting control over is your inner state, and hence you focus all
your efforts wholeheartedly on tending to your inner state.
Tending to your inner state is not about “doing” anything. We
are not trying to add anything that is not there already. Instead, all
we are doing is reconnecting with and recognizing that feeling of
deep inner peace and love that has always been there since the
beginning of time.
But if this feeling has been around since the beginning, why is it
that we cannot feel it? Why is it that most people walk around
unaware that they have this wellspring of immense peace and love
within them? That’s because over time, their inner states have
become tainted by unwanted feelings of worry, fear, self-
consciousness and guilt. When every moment of our lives is spent
worrying about whether our manifestations will happen, or whether
we are making a good impression on others, our focus is always
somewhere else. It is always misplaced. We pay attention only to the
false projected images and thoughts of the ego mind, instead of to
who we really are.
One analogy I use is looking through a piece of originally clear
glass. If that piece of glass is dirty or blurry, we will always notice
and remain fixated on the dirt and grime on the glass. Individuals
who wear glasses often have the amusing experience of rubbing
their eyes frantically to clear up their blurred vision, only to realize
that it was their glasses that were dirty all along! The same thing
applies here. All you need to do is to let go off the dirt and grime on
your glasses to perceive clearly again. The solution is not to rub your
eyes over and over again, or to draw on your glasses in an attempt
to correct your vision.
Once you have identified the subtle bodily action which you
unknowingly engage in when your body is holding onto negative
feelings, you’ll have a constant reminder to “let go”. Each time you
feel that feeling or notice yourself doing that thing , you gently remind
yourself to let go of the feeling in the moment without labeling or
judging it. Just gently let it go. This exercise is so valuable and
powerful because we can do it anytime throughout the day, no
matter where we are. I may just be sitting or standing there quietly by
myself, when in fact I am letting unwanted feelings go from my inner
state. It is imperceptible to outsiders, but the shifts in our inner state
will be profound.
Life brings us many opportunities to practice this as we go
about our day. For example, I may be in a crowded elevator when I
suddenly feel my jaw clenching up. Instead of judging or believing in
those feelings, I see it as a gentle reminder to let go. In a few
seconds, I feel totally free from those irrational feelings of
uneasiness that gripped me a few moments ago. My physical
surroundings (the elevator) is still the same, but as a result of my
immense shifts within, the atmosphere feels different. Everything has
lightened up. I am free.
Tend to your inner state by taking every single opportunity you
have to practice. Understand that it is never about the other person.
It is always about you. Therefore, when you come into contact with
situations and scenarios that cause even the slightest amount of
uneasiness or tension within you, practice using this technique to let
go. How do you know if the situation is causing you discomfort?
You’ll almost always revert back to displaying those subtle bodily
actions. That is a clear sign that your inner state is not in its naturally
free state. If you will keep at this habit for the next few weeks or so,
you would have made so much progress that you will be a
completely new person at the end of a few weeks. Things that bother
you will no longer bug you anymore (or as much). After a few
encounters with the elevator, I now walk freely into one and feel
totally at peace with myself. After a few “awkward” face-reddening
encounters at parties, I am now completely alright and even look
forward to attending the next one. I no longer need to consciously
“let go” at parties because my jaws do not clench up anymore. I am
now free from all those negative feelings and emotions.
I used to have an interaction with others and thereafter, spend
days or weeks worrying about what they thought of me. For
example, I may perceive something they said as an unfavorable
impression of me, or perceive one of their reactions to be in direct
response to something I had done. These feelings of uneasiness or
self-consciousness would go on to plague me for weeks, thus
affecting my inner state! The amusing thing about such situations is
that they happen to almost everyone, because we are so concerned
with what others think of us. These feelings become more intense in
a high-stakes situation, for example at a job interview or an appraisal
session by your boss.
The first thing you should realize is that these are all the
imagined projections of your ego mind. They may be true, but they
may also not be true. The other party may have been responding to
you, but chances are they were just doing their own thing and did not
even know they have reacted to you in that manner. When we meet
someone, we tend to ascribe their behaviors and reactions to things
we have done or said, when much of their reactions are actually due
to their emotional conditioning, habit or their past experiences with
others. In other words, we are all carrying lots of emotional baggage
to the table. We are all reacting to others based on past interactions
we have had, or our current level of consciousness.
 One thing this has taught me over the years is to be totally free
from the behavior and reactions of others. Be free from how
someone perceives or treats you. Allow them to treat or perceive you
in whatever way they want, because they have the freedom to
choose. The moment you insist that they must perceive you
favorably or treat you in a certain way… you are imposing your will
on them.
A friend of mine used to get upset when he was treated rudely
or disrespectfully by others. He would rant about the situation for
days and become very affected by it. He would write nasty complain
letters when he was in a position to do so. Needless to say, this was
affecting his own inner state, which only led to more of such
situations in his life. It seemed that he ran into rude individuals
everywhere he turned, just that they were in different clothes and
different bodies!
Abraham-Hicks have a perfect way of looking at the situation.
They teach a statement which goes like this: “How you choose to
treat / perceive me is less of who I am, and more of who you are .”
What they are really teaching here is freeing yourself from your self-
imposed expectations of other people’s behaviors! Let them behave
in any way they like, because the way they behave is not so much
about you… but more about who they are as individuals. How
someone else behaves is largely driven by their own circumstances
in life and their inner state, and how unfair it would be to place that
burden of blame on yourself! How unfair it would be to take full
responsibility for their actions!
Once you realize this fundamental truth, you are totally free.
You have always been free and now you come full circle in
recognizing your innate freedom from the behavior of others.
Whenever you interact with others, you free them to behave in
whatever ways they like. They can be nice to you or they can be
nasty to you, but you will not be affected either way. You understand
that they are behaving in this manner not because of you, but
because of themselves. You therefore allow them the ultimate
freedom to be themselves .
 The surprising thing that happens when you adopt this
perspective is that you suddenly run into the nicest people
everywhere! In my book “Banned Money Secrets”, I talk about how I
met rude salespeople everywhere I turned for a period of time in my
life. That was because I was always ranting about them and keeping
my continued focus on them! I was always telling others about my
bad experiences. When I finally freed them from my expectations, I
came into contact with the nicest salespeople ever. Individuals who
would treat me like royalty and go out of their way to help me! Have
they all been sent for customer service courses? Of course not! All it
took was one simple yet profound shift on the inside.
Freeing others from your expectations does not mean that you
condone hurtful or violent behavior. This is not what I am referring to
here. Much as you allow another person to behave in any way he /
she wants, you still retain the ultimate freedom to walk away from an
abusive relationship. You can still stand up and speak up when
things are wrong. While I allow individuals the freedom to behave in
whatever ways they want, I can still exercise my options if their
behaviors toe the line. Sometimes the best way is to just walk away
from a dysfunctional relationship. What I have realized is that the
more I tend to my inner state and the more I value my own good-
feelings, the less of such situations I come into contact with. When
you sort out your inner states first, you’ll steer clear from all
individuals, events and circumstances that do not match up to the
way you feel on the inside.
What I have outlined is a simple way for you to free yourself
from these feelings of self-consciousness. We start first by practicing
at gatherings, parties and in social situations. Once we become
totally free from the perceived opinions of others in those settings,
you’ll find yourself caring less and less about what people think of
you in more personal, one-to-one settings.
For example, I used to care what the world thought about me
when I had to give a presentation at work. I used to be so concerned
about how I looked and every word I said, about whether I was
appearing “intelligent” enough! What a convoluted way of operating
in the world, so devoid of joy! Ever since freeing others to be
themselves and allowing them to react in whatever ways they liked
(which only took a simple shift in myself), I can now concentrate on
enjoying myself and giving an enjoyable presentation. I am no longer
concerned about managing someone else’s unmanageable
expectations. Rather, I place my focus on enriching them and telling
them everything I know about the subject.
When I freed myself from all these self-imposed expectations,
my audience reacted even more enthusiastically. This brings us back
to a point I made at the beginning: Your true intentions (your inner
state) can never be masked from others. When you stop trying to
control others, they will stop trying to control you too.
Chapter 8 - Manifesting Independently of Others
In Life
The most common objection thrown up by individuals when I
suggest this new way of living is, “But I can’t live this way! What my
boss (or any other important person in your life) thinks of me matters
a whole lot!”
If this sounds like you, then it is even more important that you
try this new way of living. Anytime you feel that your life, career
advancement or success is in the hands of another… you will never
be free . You will always be subject to the whims and fancies of the
other person, and that is a very precarious position to be in. You may
think that your career is secure and settled, but the other party is
always free to do whatever he likes. You too, are free to do whatever
you like. Therefore, freedom built upon another person is always an
illusion because you can never control the thoughts, actions and
behaviors of others.
It may seem as if you need someone’s approval or good
appraisal to get ahead in life right now. This may be your spouse,
your partner, your boss, or your parents. While this may seem “true”
in your current life situation, start by placing less emphasis on getting
into the good books of the other person. Try to think and care less
about what the other person thinks. Instead, focus on yourself.
Focus on doing a good job, on living up to your highest
potential, on listening to your higher self and on your sense of well-
being. If you will make these your priorities, then everything will
automatically line up for you on the outside. You will get all the good
and recognition that you desire. One of the biggest things that
people give up when they try to pander to the demands of others or
tailor their way of working to others is their own well-being. In the
process, they lose their sense of individuality and joy because they
are now merely executing instructions and going out of their way to
please the other person in this relationship. This too, is a convoluted
way to control the perceptions of others by engaging in outer-
directed actions. Give the need for all of this up! Try this new way of
living and acting in the world.
I am not suggesting that you act callously and irresponsibly in
any relationship. What I am suggesting is that you stop caring so
much about what the other party (your colleagues, superiors,
subordinates, spouse, partner) thinks of you. Instead, focus most of
your effort and attention onto getting your job well done. You’ll find
yourself a much happier person, and this usually leads to a much
better appraisal than one obtained in the former situation.
Notice how I have structured our discussion so far. First, I have
talked about freedom from the perceived opinions of strangers and
acquaintances, people who do not really matter to you. Second, we
discussed freedom from the judgments and opinions of those who
are closer to you — friends, family and colleagues. Now we are
talking about freeing yourself from the opinions of those whom you
perceive to depend on for your happiness in life. This is a big jump
for most people.
Making this shift in thinking allows you to eventually become
free from the judgments and opinions of every single person in your
life. When you can reach this stage of “becoming free from them” no
matter who they are, even if they are your parents… you would have
reached a significant milestone in your manifestation journey. You
will then be able to deepen your practice of many of the principles
we have discussed so far.
By becoming free from the opinions and judgments of others, I
am not suggesting that you act in ways that will deliberately upset
them or make them unhappy. It does not mean that you can now go
and do all the things which they once prevented you from doing.
That’s not what I mean. It is not a form of rebellious behavior which I
am advocating here. Rather, what I am suggesting is that you place
the focus on your own well-being and own inner state instead of
theirs. Base your decisions and actions in life on what your higher
self (your feelings) tell you, instead of what someone else might
think. If you receive a clear impulse and it feels light and right to
you… then that is all that matters. The opinions of another person do
not matter.
 Until you free yourself from the opinions and judgments of
others, your outer reality and manifestations in life will always be
affected by them to a large extent. In fact, take a look right now at
some of the intentions and desires which you have set for yourself.
Knowing what you now know, how many of these intentions and
desires are not really yours? How many of them would “please”
another person if you achieved them? How many of them are really
another person’s desires, fulfilled vicariously through you? It may be
a good idea to weed out all of these intentions from your
consciousness since they were never yours to begin with.
When some individuals try this process for the first time, they
are immediately surprised (or even shocked) to discover that some
of their longest standing desires have never been theirs in the first
place! Instead, upon closer examination, they discover that these
dreams and desires they have been walking around with for half a
lifetime actually belonged to their parents or to a few well-meaning
individuals in their lives.
Parents often hope that their children will grow up to fulfill
certain roles or achieve certain goals that they have not managed to
achieve in life. For example, a father who yearned to be a lawyer but
did not will tend to impose this desire on his son. The son, wanting to
please his father, may force himself through Law School while
finding very little joy and fulfillment in the process. Of course that
would be the case! How can there be joy and fulfillment when we are
not even living a life of our own? The reverse is often true as well.
The father may be a successful lawyer who imposes these same
standards on his son. The son, wanting to live up to the expectations
of his father, may choose a career path that is completely out of
alignment with his own true desires.
Fortunately, many of our intentions and desires are simpler than
that. We may desire a particular item because it makes us look
successful in the eyes of others. If that’s the case, then we are really
wanting to use that item to “control” the perception of others and not
for our own highest fulfillment. It therefore makes sense to drop
these items from our wish list. Go through each item / intention on
your list and ask yourself why you want it. Is it because of what
someone else said? Did society implant the idea in your mind that it
would be a nice thing to have? Do you believe that achieving it would
make your parents proud and happy? This happens more often than
we realize.
When I went through my list of desires for the first time, I
realized that more than half of the items on that list were not even
mine to begin with! Somewhere along the way, society had given me
the idea that owning a few of them would convince others that I had
finally “made it” in life. What’s even more amusing is that I actually
manifested some of those items, without really knowing why I
wanted them in the first place.
It is perfectly alright to have an intention or desire if it is truly in
line with what you want. For example, you may desire to own a
grand piano because you truly love music and enjoy making
beautiful music for others. You enjoy playing on the exquisite ivory
keys and it makes your heart sing in joy while you do so. However,
another person may desire a grand piano simply because it looks
good in their living room and will impress their business associates
who come over for a visit. The same item, but very different
intentions. This is why we may often desire the same physical object
but for very different reasons. Similarly, you may desire a luxury car
because it feels so comfortable to drive in, with all the bells and
whistles. It feels good to you while you are driving it. But another
person may desire it to impress others.
There are a few reasons why I advocate dropping these
vicarious desires from your list. First, they would not bring you much
enjoyment and happiness even if you achieved them. Second, these
are often the desires that cause the most contradictions in your
vibrations. A part of you wants them, yet another part of you is
constantly struggling against them. These struggle and contradictory
feelings will affect your inner state and the rest of your
manifestations as well.
Therefore, keeping these desires can jeopardize the rest of
your manifestations. It is better that you gently identify and drop
these desires to maintain an aligned inner state. Third, when you
drop the desires that are not yours, you free up the much-needed
mental energy to concentrate on your remaining desires — those
that are truly yours. You will find that the things you truly want come
into your life very quickly once you have clarified and dropped these
unnecessary desires that bog you down.
I spent more than half of my life struggling with the desires that
were not mine, simply because I was always worried about what
others thought of me. This resulted in a huge waste of time and effort
because it was only after the manifestation of those things that I
realize I did not want them in the first place. I now had to deal with
them or get rid of them through my physical actions.
The feeling you get when you are free from the opinion and
judgments of others is an incredibly empowering and light feeling. No
words can adequately describe how this state feels like, and I
encourage you to experience it firsthand for yourself. Once you have
discovered this new way of living, you will never want to go back.
Once your mind realizes that you can live independently from the
judgments of others and still thrive, you will never subject yourself to
those needless limitations and restrictions ever again. But you must
take the first step, and it starts with “letting go” of those self-
conscious feelings every chance you get.
A natural consequence of doing this work is that you care less
about what others think, and hence are not pressured to change
your original intentions / desires in order to conform. All too often,
our desires take a long time to manifest because we keep changing
them in response to the whims and fancies of others.
An individual who is always worried about what others may
think will not feel comfortable manifesting many of his intentions in
life, especially those that involve material wealth. Hence, he is
always “downsizing” or changing certain aspects of his desire to
please others. For example, he may truly want a new house in a
particular neighborhood, but then change that desire to a smaller
house because that is more in line with what his siblings live in. Then
he may move his desired house from a more expensive to a less
expensive neighborhood in order to fit in.
All of these are often imaginary responses to the projected
thoughts and opinions of others. You have to become so comfortable
with your own desires that whatever another person says acts
cannot shake that intention! The intention is YOURS and belongs to
YOU alone, so why let someone else change it? The constant
shifting of your intentions to suit the opinions of others will only result
in their delay and slipshod manifestations, because you are sending
contradictory vibrations in so many different directions.
Start putting this principle in practice in your life today — Only
change your intentions and desires if your preferences change, but
never to suit the opinions and preferences of others. You cannot be
living your life for another, and you can never please enough people
in your life!
Chapter 9 - Today I Am Free From Passing
Judgments
An amazing thing happens once you become free from the
judgments and opinions of others. This change is subtle and barely
noticeable at first, but becomes apparent to you as the weeks go by.
This is something that happens spontaneously and does not have to
be forced. It is a natural consequence of freeing yourself from the
opinions and expectations of others, and it is this: When you feel
less self-conscious about how others perceive you, you will naturally
give up the need to judge, be critical about or pass negative remarks
about others. The act of criticizing and passing judgment on others is
so pervasive in our modern society that it often harms our
manifestations without us even knowing it! This single act sabotages
most of our efforts even before we start!
Admittedly, this has been a difficult spiritual principle for me to
follow. If you read the teachings of every great spiritual master
throughout the ages, they have always spoken about the utmost
importance of not judging or criticizing others. The most prominent of
these teachings has been immortalized in a phrase by Jesus, “Judge
not by appearances but by right judgment.” But why have spiritual
teachers throughout the ages taught this principle so steadfastly? Do
they know something which the rest of the population does not? How
does the act of criticizing others relate to our manifestations? Before
I talk about the greater spiritual significance, let me first share my
own personal experiences.
I grew up in a family that thrived on criticism. My mum was a
perfectionist who always held herself to high standard, and this form
of perfectionist behavior applied to everything in the household as
well. Everything within the house had to be done to the highest
standards, and she was not afraid to let any of the family members
have a piece of her mind when they stepped out of line. All of her
children had to perform to the highest standards in school and in
whatever they did. Can you imagine living under these
circumstances during the most formative years of your life? I guess
most of us can relate to that, as the experience leaves you with a
judgmental and self-critical inner voice that accompanies you for the
rest of your life.
Most of us walk around with this inner critic without even
questioning why it is there. The inner critic can sometimes be so
nasty and harsh that it sabotages our efforts even before we begin.
We can trace the origins of this inner critic to early authority figures
in our lives. While these authority figures were well-meaning and had
our good at heart (for example, they did not want us to do something
that injured ourselves), the way they communicated their message
was sometimes less than desirable. As a result, we accepted and
internalized their repeated negative comments and judgments over
time and started using them on ourselves.
A baby does not know how to judge. To a baby who has just
been born into this world and to young children, the world is so
perfect! Everything is going so well despite the outer circumstances!
Louise Hay used to teach that babies don’t go around looking into
mirrors thinking that their bodies are too fat… They’re happy to have
a body in the first place! That is the state of pure beingness we are
going for here — the state of being happy unconditionally. To
become unconditionally happy, you need to stop ascribing your
happiness (or unhappiness) to external circumstances, which means
that you have to stop your judgmental behavior.
So why does this pure baby eventually learn to judge and pass
negative comments about others? For one, he has learned it from
his parents and teachers in life. Much of the instruction from our
parents come in the form of negative criticisms and judgments, and
over time a young child comes to accept this way of functioning as
normal. Over time, a young child thinks it is alright to carry out such
behavior in the real world as well. Some of us find fault like there is a
prize given for it, and that is exactly the way we have been
unconsciously set up to function in the world. We derive an immense
sense of perverse pleasure from pointing out what’s wrong, because
criticizing others creates a particular emotional state which we have
become so familiar and addicted to.
 Think about how you feel when you pass a negative judgment
or criticize another person. You do not feel good. It feels like some
sort of a caustic and jumpy feeling within you. Yet most people
willingly engage in this behavior for almost all their lives! Why is that
so? Because that caustic and intense feeling is one of the few
feelings which they know and have come to associate so closely with
their being.
They have become addicted to that feeling of criticizing others
(or the emotional response in their bodies when they do so). Over
time, they gravitate towards people, events and experiences that
give them more of that feeling. This is no different from taking drugs
to get that temporary “high” because that high feeling from drugs is
the only good feeling you know. But as all students of this material
will know, there is no limit to how good you can feel. There is no limit
to how intense those “magic feelings” (which I talk about in my book
“The Magic Feeing”) can be. If you will learn how to access those
feelings of immense inner peace, love and joy at will… then you will
never depend on any external substances to get “high” again. They
will serve no purpose in your life. You would have discovered the
most straightforward way to get there and stay there by your own
accord , without having to depend on any external substance or
circumstance.
There is a secret pay-off for criticizing others. It makes us feel
“good”. It makes us feel that we are in the right and somehow better
than the people we are criticizing. But how do you really feel when
you pass judgments about others? Do you really feel good ?
Compare these supposed “good” feelings that you get to those of
immense peace, love and joy. Are they the same? A simple
comparison will tell you that they’re not. In fact, they are opposing
feelings on the emotional scale. The need to judge others is
associated with many negative emotions on the emotional scale. For
example, it is often associated with a sense of insecurity / guilt /
unworthiness, which is one of the lowest vibrations on the emotional
scale.
Can you now see why judging others can sabotage your
manifestations big time? Recall that the manifestation buck always
stops with you. Therefore, it does not matter who or what you are
criticizing. It does not matter who or what you are making those
nasty jokes and comments about. All it matters is that you are
making them, and therefore you have to bear the full consequences
of these nasty remarks! The more time you make these remarks and
pass these judgments in a day, the more you will have to bear their
consequences in terms of delayed or even completely annulled
manifestations! Are you willing to bear these consequences?
When I first started becoming conscious of this aspect of my
being, I was surprised at how many judgmental thoughts I
spontaneously passed throughout the day! This does not mean that
we are “bad” or “evil” people. It simply means that we have acted
unconsciously up to this point in our lives. We have not really picked
up and questioned our endless thoughts. Instead, we simply let our
mind chatter run wild. When you start to examine the thoughts that
naturally run through your mind, you will be surprised to discover that
a lot of them tend to be of a negative nature. For example, you may
see someone walking towards you on the street and pass a casual
judgment about that person’s appearance or dressing. To students of
spirituality, this revelation can be quite unnerving. Here they are,
trying to speak and think positively and then discovering for the first
time that their unconscious is throwing up all these nasty remarks
and comments!
If this sounds like what you are going through, the first thing
you should do is to stop judging yourself for this behavior. Stop the
endless loop of judgment and criticisms! The need to criticize others
arises from being constantly critical of yourself. For example, if you
always criticize yourself for not living up to certain standards in your
life, similar flaws in other people will tend to become particularly
obvious to you as well. In a way, we are projecting our own self-
criticisms onto others and onto the world around us.
What I have found is that negative comments about others
often take up a huge chunk of our waking consciousness. When we
are not critical about ourselves, we are often criticizing others. When
you learn to drop the need to be critical, when you free yourself from
the judgments of others and from judging others… you are free. You
now walk around with the ultimate peace of mind, which means that
your inner state is no longer contaminated with these nasty thoughts
and vibrations about others.
Another area to note is to avoid making nasty jokes about
people, no matter how funny they may seem! Sometimes these
jokes may make you the life of the party, or they may make you very
popular amongst your friends. As a result, we engage in the
mindless behavior of coming up with one nasty joke after another.
This is another common manifestation pitfall .
Think about someone who often makes nasty jokes about
others (we all have one or two individuals like this in our social circle,
or perhaps it may even be yourself!) in your life. Now look at the
results in their lives. Are they living what you would call a good life?
Have all their desired manifestations come true for them in their
reality? Are they happy with their lives? This should not come as a
surprise, but I have done this simple observation exercise so many
times and found that these folks who love to make nasty / mean
jokes about others are the same ones who have many things to
complain about in their own lives! Is it any wonder that their
manifestations are not coming true for them?
The habit of making nasty / mean jokes is a difficult one to
overcome for a few reasons. First, it seems like an utterly harmless
activity! The person whom you are making the joke on does not even
know it, and all of your friends (including yourself) get to enjoy a
really good laugh! Second, it makes you popular and keeps you in
good company. Everyone wants to be around the funny guy. Third,
when someone tells a nasty joke, it lightens up the atmosphere and
hey, we are all out to have a good time right?
Here’s where things start to go downhill. First, making mean
jokes is not a harmless activity. It affects the person who makes
them. That is probably the most straightforward way I can put it.
Recall that the manifestation buck always stops with you. Each time
you pass a nasty joke or comment, you bring up associated feelings
of insecurity, jealousy, envy or judgment… for yourself ! This is
precisely why the joke is so funny, because it is so inappropriate and
mean! These go on to affect your inner state and your outer
manifestations. So to put it bluntly, the joke is really on the person
making the joke! Second, nasty comments are often funny… and
anything funny is very easily absorbed by our subconscious with
very little resistance. Our subconscious minds love humor. Third, our
subconscious minds love repetition as well. When you keep making
the same nasty comments over and over again (and keep laughing
upon hearing them), it is deeply embedded in your unconscious and
goes on to create your outer reality.
Sometimes you may be around individuals who like to make
nasty jokes and comments. It is also human nature to laugh along to
any joke told to us. When I realized the full significance of this
spiritual principle, I immediately made it a point to distance myself
from individuals who constantly poked fun of others. For the few
individuals whom I could not get away from, I made it a point to be
honest with them. I told them, “Look, you have to stop making these
mean jokes about people we encounter. It is disrespectful to them
and affects you too.” Of course, I did not go into a full spiritual
explanation but they understood and changed their behavior
thereafter.
The need to pass judgment about others can be a sticking point
for our manifestations. I often meet individuals who are thinking
positively and doing all the right things, but still their manifestations
are not happening for them. This is when we dig deeper and
discover that their mind chatter is filled with critical thoughts about
either themselves or others. Eliminate these critical thoughts, return
your inner state to one of inner peace and your manifestations will
come quickly for you! The next time you feel the urge to criticize or
pass an unwarranted comment about another person (even if it is
just on the inside), pause for a moment and let that feeling go. Keep
doing so until the feelings are gone, until you do not have the urge to
dwell on that thought. Letting go of the need to criticize is exactly the
same as letting go of our negative feelings of fear or worry. They are
all just feelings caused by our unconscious beliefs, and a feeling can
be easily let go of before it turns into an outward manifestation (the
outwardly critical behavior).
Chapter 10 - Today I Am Free From Guilt &
Addictions
The feelings of guilt and shame are one of the lowest on the
emotional scale. Yet most people still immerse themselves in these
feelings and carry it around with them all the time. In our society,
these feelings are just not openly talked about. How do you even
begin to talk about something that is making you feel guilty or
shameful in the first place? That’s why such feelings are often swept
under the rug and denied / suppressed for the longest time. They
often result in outer manifestations in the form of unwanted physical
results and also physical addictions.
Anyone who walks around with intense guilt and shameful
feelings can never achieve manifestation success. I wish it could be
another way, but I did not invent these Universal Laws and am
merely telling you about them. If you wish to achieve lasting
manifestation success, then you have to find a way to handle your
guilt feelings. The techniques in this chapter will show you how.
As I’ve mentioned repeatedly in the past, the actual “content” of
your thoughts do not matter. The actual experience does not matter.
Hence in moving forward today, we are not interested in why you
came to have those guilty / shameful feelings and what caused
them. All of them are in the past and are no longer relevant to us.
What we are dealing with here are the present feelings themselves
which are so negatively creative. Feelings of guilt and shame cause
us to wither up on the inside, and eat at our emotional well-being. So
long as we hold on to these feelings, we can never be totally free.
There is an apt saying which goes, “We are not punished for our sins
but by them.” This feeling of guilt can be particularly insidious.
Fortunately, there is an easy way out of all this. This is the path
which I have discovered for myself and I hope it can help you as
well.
It is important to understand and see these feelings of guilt for
what they really are. If you can understand the underlying emotional
reasons for them, you’ll be able to let them go very easily. When we
hold on to guilt about anything, we perceive a situation as “bad” and
ourselves as powerless to change it. This is an important definition
so let’s make sure you understand it: Whenever we feel guilty about
anything, we perceive that thing as “bad” but more importantly, we
also believe that we are powerless to change our conditions… which
is why we have to keep feeling guilty over that thing!
Guilt feelings are the most extreme way of judging yourself.
Someone who is guilty is self-critical and punishing towards himself
all the time, while believing that the rest of the world is passing this
same judgment on him. Can you see the convoluted way through
which the ego projects itself onto the world around us? We feel bad
about something and blame ourselves for it. But we also project that
blaming behavior onto the people around us and blame ourselves
THROUGH them . These guilt feelings are nothing but the false
belief that we are constantly being judged for our deeds. This
projection is what causes most of the guilt feelings, independent of
the actual actions and behaviors of others.
If you have followed the steps in the previous chapters of this
book, you may find that the guilt feelings which you have carried
around for years have been spontaneously reduced, just from
following the steps in the earlier chapters. This is a natural
consequence of doing the inner work necessary. When you free
yourself from those self-conscious feelings and from your fear of
being judged, you will stop feeling as guilty about certain situations in
your life because the judgments of others no longer affect you as
much. As such, what we have done up to this point goes a long way
in helping us overcome our residual feelings of guilt.
When you feel guilty over something, your body often displays
the same subtle physical signs that we talked about in Chapter 3.
That is when you have to pause whatever you are doing, center
yourself in your inner state and let those spontaneous feelings of
guilt go. Dealing with our guilt feelings is the same as dealing with all
our other feelings. Feelings are just energy running through our
body, which can easily be released from our energetic systems.
Therefore, resist the urge to label your feelings and to dwell in the
emotional baggage that surrounds them. Just deal with the feelings
in the present moment when they arise. You’ll discover that if you
stick to this practice of tending to your inner state in the present
moment only … you would have solved a huge chunk of the
perceived “issues” in your life!
That’s because NOW is the only moment there is. NOW is the
only moment we have to work with. And when something happens, it
always happens NOW, NOW and NOW! Life is a series of NOW
moments. The mistake so many people make is to try and deal with
the past, present and future all at once! That is putting themselves
through unnecessary agony and trouble because you can never
change the past in the NOW, but you can change how you feel about
the past in the NOW… and that is the whole secret of dealing with
guilt.
Many people are worried that they will start doing bad stuff if
they do not feel guilty over certain things. This is a misplaced fear. I
have realized that when you are in alignment with your highest self…
you can do no wrong . When you come from a place of highest love
and peace, then everything you do will be in accordance with the
highest Universal good. You will be acting from Divine Love and your
divine Beingness. The fear of doing “bad things” if we do not feel
guilty results from a lack of understanding of these Universal Laws
and from our past, faulty programming. A closer examination will
reveal that it stems from our need to judge others. We wrongly
believe that judgment and punishment is what is needed to keep our
behaviors in line, when in fact, it is impossible to “harm” another or
ourselves when we are aligned with our highest selves.
If something undesired has happened in the past, resolve not to
do it again and let the guilt go. It’s as simple as that. You can deal
with 20 years of guilt in just one afternoon using this technique.
Simply resolve not to repeat that hurtful action again and then let all
the guilt go. Chances are that you were not aligned with your highest
self when you behaved in that way, but you now know better. You
now know the power of alignment, so make full use of this
knowledge! Give up the faulty (and needless) belief that you will
repeat the behavior once you stop feeling guilty from it!
 If guilt over something is overwhelming you, it pays to spend
one quiet afternoon by yourself working on the issue. Bring up the
feelings of guilt, feel the subtle physical signs in your body and then
let those feelings of guilt go in the present moment. Continue to do
this until you have let all the guilt go, or feel that it has diminished
considerably. One afternoon is all you need to be free for the rest of
your life, and I think that’s a pretty good bargain! However, be
prepared to repeat the process hundreds of times that afternoon,
each time checking in to see whether the feelings of guilt have
diminished. Keep going at it until you feel better, until you reach that
place of relief.
The residual guilt will often resurface itself as you go about your
day. What you should do when some of these residual feelings
present themselves is to notice them in the moment, and then to let
them go without any labeling or judgment. Don’t say, “Here I am
feeling guilty about this thing again!” Instead say, “I let this feeling go
now” and focus on getting yourself free from those guilt feelings in
the present moment. Don’t worry about how you are going to deal
with it in the future. That’s not something for you to worry about. Deal
with it in the now moment. How do you feel about it now? The only
thing that matters is that you feel at peace with something in the
present moment.
Addictions are often related to guilt, in that addictive behavior
makes us feel guilty. In the past, I have fallen prey to all sorts of
addictive behavior that have affected my manifestations, but I was in
denial about most of them. I believed that since I was doing so much
“positive thinking” and “good work” on the outside, I could afford to
indulge in these addictions and still have my good manifest for me. I
have since realized that if you wish to achieve peace-of-mind and
long-lasting manifestation success, then you need to find a way to
deal with these addictions in your life. You need to become free from
these addictions. Anytime you allow an external action, substance or
circumstance to have power over you… you are not totally free. Your
freedom to create will always be limited.
I understand what an uphill battle it can be to deal with one’s
addictions, since we may have been holding onto them for our whole
lives. Addictions can thus come with immense emotional baggage,
and it is this emotional baggage that clouds our perception of them.
Another unresourceful belief that we often hold is, “I’ve had this
addiction for so long.” But how long you’ve had something does not
equal the ease at which you can let it go. I can be holding onto my
pen for the past few hours and sure enough, my fingers can become
cramped from the grip… but that does not mean I cannot let it go if I
wanted to. All it takes is a conscious decision to let go.
I am not here to judge whether your addictions are right or
wrong. Instead, I would like you to think about your addictions and
whether they are ruling your life. Are they affecting your inner state?
Are you thinking about them or lusting over them most of the time?
Are you spending most of your time immersed in those feelings of
lust and desire (for your addictions)?
I have found that addictions often come at a cost. While they
may give us that temporary “high”, that “high” feeling is nothing
compared to our feelings of alignment with the Universe. The “high”
feels good compared to all the other feelings we have known in our
lives, but it cannot be compared to the ultimate feeling of freedom
and peace we get from just being . That’s a key difference. Stop
using your addictions as a way to get “high”. There is usually a
payoff in terms of the guilt and all the negative feelings which you
feel later. These negative feelings are going to affect your outer
manifestations. You can skip all the addictive behavior and go right
to the feelings of peace and well-being directly without any of the
substances or undesired behaviors.
If you do decide that your addictions are getting in the way of
your manifestations, then the first step is to make a conscious
decision to change it. Set a very light intention to change the
situation and leave it at that. There is no need to use strong
affirmations and statements when dealing with something that has a
strong emotional charge.
The second step is to work on your guilt feelings and drop all
those judgmental / shameful feelings surrounding your addiction.
Drop all these unwanted feelings that you have been carrying around
with you on the inside about your behavior. Now this is the step that
trips most people up because they do not do it persistently. They
think they’ll be able to do the first step and overcome their addictions
overnight, which is often not the case. You also need to work at
dropping the unwanted guilt feelings surrounding the addictive
behavior. While this seems counter-intuitive, dropping your guilt
feelings surrounding your addictions will in fact aid you in dropping
your addictions, instead of reinforcing the addictive behavior.
I would not impose a deadline when dealing with addictive
behavior. This is because we have built them up and reinforced them
over such long periods of time that it is unreasonable to demand that
we drop them at once. Be easy and gentle with yourself. Work at
slowly but gradually dropping the guilt feelings surrounding your
addictive behavior. You may find these guilt feelings resurfacing for
you, but that is because there are usually many dimensions and
difference aspects of the issue causing these feelings. The good
news is that it will be easier for you to do so if you have followed all
the steps in this book up to this point, because you would have dealt
with a lot of the smaller related emotional issues. Therefore the later
steps in this book build on the earlier steps. If you have trouble
dropping your guilt feelings, then go back to the earlier chapters and
work on dropping your self-conscious feelings in general. When you
do that first, you free up more of your mental capacity to deal with
the related emotional issues.
If you are persistent at dropping your feelings of guilt
surrounding your addictions, you will find a few things happening
spontaneously. First, you will engage less in your addictive behavior
without much conscious willpower or effort. You would do them less
and less on your own. You would also find that you have less urge to
engage in them. This is because you would have broken out of the
negative blame cycle that so many people unknowingly put
themselves in. By continually feeling guilty about something and then
blaming themselves for it, they are perpetuating the blame cycle
which makes them do more of the unwanted behavior! One cannot
focus on something undesired and hope to push it away from their
lives. Our focus on the addiction brings more of that addictive
behavior to us. The right way is to shift our focus away from the
behavior itself (which we perceive to be causing the problem) onto
the negative feelings themselves. Let those associated guilt and
shame feelings go. When you are free of those feelings, you would
be largely free from your addictions.
Some people find that they no longer have any urge to engage
in their addictions once they drop all the feelings of guilt and blame
surrounding their behavior. Others find that they engage in them
less. Either way, that is still a breakthrough and a huge progress that
some people do not even make in one lifetime. Congratulate yourself
for it! The next step then, is to deal with the “urge” to engage in that
addictive behavior each time it comes up. Each time you have the
urge or impulse to engage in that addictive behavior, gently let the
feeling go following the techniques outlined in Chapter 3 of this book.
Gently let that impulse go. The first few times you do so (or probably
the first hundred times), you will still feel like doing it even after you
have let some of that impulse go. If that’s the case, you can go
ahead and do it with less emotional baggage. The importance of
taking a light touch cannot be over-emphasized here.
I picked up a copy of Allen Carr’s book, “The Easy Way to Stop
Smoking”, just to see what it was all about even though I am a non-
smoker. I have heard all sorts of good things about Allen Carr’s work,
in particularly his technique to help smokers overcome their lifelong
addiction. Allen Carr was a chain smoker himself who tried various
techniques to quit smoking before coming up with his “easy way”
which has since evolved into a series of bestselling books and clinics
around the world. What I read resonated with what I had discovered.
Mr. Carr’s approach emphasized taking a light touch. Smokers were
never told that they had to stop smoking at any particular time. They
were never given a deadline or ultimatum. They were never
inundated with how “wrong” or “unhealthy” it was to smoke, nor
subjected to any of those conventional scare / guilt tactics. On the
contrary, they were allowed to continue smoking while they were in
the program! This is in line with the principles we have discussed
here — When you remove the guilt and taboo surrounding your
addictions, you have a much easier time getting free of them.
Is there anything in your life which makes you feel guilty from
time-to-time, or most of the time? If so, set a light intention to drop
those guilt feelings right now. Resolve not to engage in particular
behaviors (or addictions) again and then free yourself by letting go of
those guilt or shame feelings whenever they come up. If you are
persistent at this, you find that your guilt feelings that constantly
down you in negativity will crop up for you less and less… until they
finally cease to be an issue one day. This will make a huge
difference to your manifestations because your mental capacity is
now freed up to focus on your positive, desired manifestations in
your life. Today you are free!
Chapter 11 - Today I Am Free To Create
Manifestations have never been about attracting more stuff into
your life. Instead, the art of manifestation is about effectively letting
go . How effective you are as a manifestor will depend on how
effectively you let go of your negative feelings of fear, worry,
disappointment, regret, guilt or anger that spontaneously crop up for
you. These negative feelings may surface at any time during our day,
and so long as we allow ourselves to be taken in by them… we limit
the good that comes to us. We would have fallen into the same trap
that has tripped up so many. When we allow our focus to be
mindlessly dictated by the myriad of people, things and events that
pass us by, we are not free. We will forever be at the mercy of
external circumstances and events which we have no control over.
You become free the moment you free yourself from these
external influences. It starts by realizing that the manifestation buck
stops with you. No matter who or what you are feeling negative
feelings towards, no matter how justified you feel about these
feelings and how “right” you are… you are the only person that exists
in your Universe. In fact, you are the Universe. This is why you must
be willing to bear the full consequences of your thoughts and
actions. Each negative thought which you have produces a
corresponding feeling in your body, and those feelings dictate your
inner state which ultimately result in your own physical reality.
Therefore you are creating in every single moment whether you
realize it or not. You are creating right now as you are reading this
book. You are creating while you are in the shower. You are creating
as long as you have the power to choose where to place your
conscious attention and focus. This means that in each moment of
your life, you are either positively or negatively creating. You are
either moving closer towards your good, or further and further away
from it. Knowing which direction you are moving towards in each
moment of your life is key, as it will clue you in to the general
direction which your life is moving towards. If you find yourself
steeped in negative thoughts and emotions most of the time, then
you are creating negatively most of the time. Correspondingly, you
can expect very little good to come into your life. This is Universal
Law.
Who is the person who chooses what to focus upon in the first
place? Who is the only person in the world who has the sole
authority to decide? It may (or may not) surprise you to know that
this person is YOU . You are the only person who can decide where
to place your conscious attention and focus upon, thereby you are
the only person in this whole wide world who can alter and dictate
your own reality. Knowing this is the ultimate freedom.
But why do so many people not exercise their authority as
ultimate creators? Why do so many people allow themselves to be
carried away by their feelings of anger, fear or worries? That’s
because they have not trained themselves to achieve mastery over
their inner states. Over time, they have allowed themselves (and
their focus) to be led wherever the mind goes, much like a curious
child following every single path that is presented to him. The
untrained mind is like that curious child — It follows every single
thought that is presented to it, without really questioning whether the
thought will lead to more inner peace or more suffering. If you blindly
follow and bite whatever comes up for you, then you will always
perpetuate the same reality. Let’s say someone does something that
makes you angry. The untrained mind allows itself to focus there,
because that is what catches its attention in the moment. The
untrained mind also allows itself to stew in the feelings of anger, and
hence produce more and more unwanted manifestations.
The trained mind realizes that it always has a choice .
Remember: You always have a choice no matter what the
circumstances are. You always have a choice on where and what
to focus upon. Yes, it is true that this incident in your life (or even
many incidents in your life) are making you angry. Yes, it is also true
that this incident is so preposterous, big and “in your face” that it may
be impossible to ignore. But despite all of that, you always have a
choice of what to place your conscious attention on in the sanctuary
of your own mind . Even if there are thousands of things to be
unhappy about in your life right now, there is still at least one thing
that makes you happy and smile when you think about it. Focus your
attention wholeheartedly and exclusively on that ONE thing. Make it
your world. Focus on it all the time to the exclusion of everything
else. When you focus on that one thing, it becomes your Universe
and your inner state changes considerably. You move from
negatively creating to positively creating, and soon your outer reality
(no matter how dire) must change. This is the ultimate Universal
Law.
I remember the early days of my journey when I had so many
things to be unhappy and depressed about. My untrained mind
focused on one depressing thought after another, like a child’s
attention endlessly captivated by smoke and mirrors. As a result I
was almost driven to the edge of depression and suicide. The
solution for me back then was so simple and obvious that I could not
see it. It is the same for us no matter where we are in our lives — If I
could only find one small thing back then to focus upon to the
exclusion of everything else, if I could make that my world for a
sufficient time… my world would change in an instant.
No matter where you are right now, there is always that one
small thing which you can start focusing on right now. I’m willing to
wager that there is not just one thing but quite possibly hundreds of
things to be happy about in your life this very moment! But you need
to train yourself to deliberately look out for them. When we have
been conditioned by life over-and-over again to find fault, to look out
for what’s wrong and to be judgmental, it can be difficult to see the
endless magic that lies all around us. But the magic is there. It has
always been there since the beginning of time. It is our job to find it
and focus solely on it. This is a skill that can be cultivated over time,
and those who achieve this form of inner mastery eventually achieve
lasting manifestation success. It starts with placing your well-being
above everything else.
When you understand that you create in the vibrational likeness
of whatever you focus upon, and that only you have the power to
control this focus, you understand the immense freedom you have
always had! Today you are free — free from the clutches and control
of others, free from external circumstances, free from the judgments
of others. No matter how others decide to “control”, perceive or treat
you, you can always be free by deliberately choosing to focus on
something else in the privacy of your own mind. You have the
sanctuary of your own mind, your own inner state, to return to no
matter what happens on the outside. This is why you have always
been free. Most people just do not realize the freedom that is theirs
from the beginning. This freedom can never be taken away from you.
It is your birthright.
Imagine telling all your concerns and worries to the Universe.
Imagine letting the Universe know about your deepest fears and
struggles in life. What do you think the Universe would say? How do
you think the Universe would respond? Would it say, “Yes, I
sympathize with you and you are having a very hard time indeed.” Or
would it say, “My dear, I do not see where the problem is.” For a
person who is trapped by their own thinking, this second response
can indeed frustrate them to no end!
In the early days of my graduate studies, I was fortunate to
have the guidance of an eminent senior colleague who was at the
forefront of his field. What was little-known and special about my
advisor was that besides being very brilliant and technically
competent, he was also a spiritually enlightened person. He had
achieved such mastery over his inner state that he was beyond all
politics and petty behaviors at the workplace. He was imperturbable,
which is why he made such great contributions to his field. His
mental focus wasn’t wasted on anything else. When colleagues
complained about office politics or other forms of bad behavior to
him, his response was always similar to what the Universe would
give. He did not even perceive the problem in the first place! He had
risen above all of them.
Up till that point in my life, I never thought it would be possible
for a fellow human being to function at that level. I had heard the
saying, “God is too pure to perceive any iniquity (wrongdoing)” but
did not really know what it meant. Does it mean that God knows
about all the wrongdoings in the world but chooses to turn a blind
eye to them? Or does it mean that to God, all these problems, issues
and limitations do not even exist in the first place? After observing
my advisor over the period of a few years, I came to the realization
that the second statement is true. One who has achieved mastery
over his inner state does not even perceive any of the obstacles or
limitations to be there in the first place! My advisor understood that
how people chose to behave was up to them, and he did not
perceive a problem with their behavior even if they were directed at
him. He knew that no matter how they acted, he could not be
affected or influenced by them… for he had full control over his inner
state at all times. He freed them from his own expectations
unconditionally.
It is the same for you as well. The Universe is too pure to
perceive any form of iniquity. To the Universe, all of your concerns
and worries which you spend most of your time immersed in are
petty concerns! They matter to no one else but you! They are petty
not because they are unimportant, but because they have never
been yours to solve in the first place . So stop convincing the
Universe that you have those problems by dwelling on them! Focus
on something else. It is not your job to figure out how to overcome
those obstacles and barriers. Your job is simply to focus on the
things that make you feel happy and good. In the moment you do,
you drop all your negative contradictory feelings and the Universe
fills in the rest effortlessly. This is why manifestation is not about
“attracting more stuff”. There is nothing more for us to “attract” into
our lives. Everything that we need, want and more is already here.
We just have to let go of everything else so we can see the good that
has been here all along. Give up all of your petty concerns and
worries. Let the Universe take care of them. Return to your original
peaceful inner state which is your natural state, and stay there long
enough until changes happen in your outer circumstances.
The realization that you are free (and have been free all along)
is such a delicious epiphany. You are free whether you know it or
not, whether you live it or not. Your freedom cannot be taken away
from you, but you can choose to deny yourself of it by believing in
the alternative. That’s how much power and freedom you have — to
choose and have suffering if you wanted to. But why live that way?
Why squander the Universal flow of creative energy that is always
available to you in every moment? Today you are free to create
whatever you want.
What would you like to create in your reality today? You should
know that everything is available to you within the boundaries of our
space-time reality. If you can desire it, you can create it. If you can
desire it and focus on it purely, then you can manifest it in your
physical experience even faster. Stop worrying about the petty
concerns and opinions of others and how they will feel about your
manifestations. The opinions / thoughts of others have never
mattered in the first place simply because whatever they do, think or
say think can never affect our manifestations. Dr. Seuss puts this
across eloquently when he wrote, “Be who you are and say what you
feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter
don’t mind.” May I add that when it comes to your own
manifestations, no one else matters but yourself — not even your
parents, spouse and those closest to you! But are you able to free
yourself from the expectations of them?
Today you are free to manifest whatever you want. Start by
feeling less self-conscious about what others think of you and more
conscious about how you feel on the inside. Start by worrying less
about whether you are doing things right and focusing more on
whether you are feeling right! Start by worrying less about whether
the Universe can fulfill your desires (it always can) and place your
attention more upon what you would like to create with the help of
the Universe.
“Today I Am Free” is not just a feeling or a positive statement
you walk around with. It is the ultimate recognition and acceptance of
an eternal Universal truth. You have always been free, are free now
and will always be. When you accept this truth and live it, there is
nothing more you have to do — for before you ask, the Universe
would have answered.