How to face the

fear of failure
1. Focus on the present.
I once had a conversation with an oncologist about what
it’s like to give people a dire, late-stage-cancer
diagnosis. He said that some of his patients—people with
a particular need to control tightly all parts of their lives—
would immediately go home and start researching their
prognosis on the internet. He would counsel them not to
do this, because it would only make them sick with
worry. Instead, he told them to start each day with this
mantra: “I do not know what will happen next week or
next year. But I know I have the gift of this day, and I will
not waste it.”
The oncologist said this mantra helped not just their
outlook about the disease but also their overall
approach to life. I recommend this same refrain to
anyone suffering from a fear of failure. Own the
unknown future through gratitude for the known
present, and watch your happiness rise, as you
enjoy what you have in front of you.

Focus on the present.

2. Visualize courage.
One of the most common fears of failure involves public
speaking. Even the thought of giving a speech in front
of a group makes some people panic. The solution to
this problem is simple: exposure. That doesn’t mean
you need to haul a soapbox to your town square every
day; just simulating a speech environment using virtual
reality has been shown to lower people’s fear
significantly. Anyone can use this idea, even without
strapping on a VR simulator, through simple
concentrated imagination.
Instead of avoiding the source of your fear even in
your own mind, spend time each day visualizing
scary scenarios, including possible failures. Picture
yourself acting with courage, despite the fear. I did
this extensively early in my teaching career,
imagining everything from the prosaic (forgetting my
notes) to the absurd (realizing after an hour-long
lecture that my fly was unzipped the whole time). I
soon found that I was, in fact, more courageous in
front of the class as a result.

Visualize courage.
3. Litanize humility.
Fear of failure and perfectionism freeze you in place with
thoughts of what others will think if you do not succeed
at something. An early-20th-century Spanish cardinal,
Rafael Merry del Val y Zulueta, composed a beautiful
prayer called the “Litany of Humility.” The prayer does
not ask that we be spared humiliation, but that we be
given the grace to deal with the fear: “From the fear of
being humiliated, / Deliver me, O Jesus.” It continues:
Deliver me from the fear of being despised. From the fear
of suffering rebukes. From the fear of being forgotten.
And from the fear of being ridiculed.
Make your own version of the litany of humility,
religious or not, and recite it each night. Even if
the items seem ridiculous to you (“From the fear of
messing up my PowerPoint presentation, deliver
me”), if you want relief, you have to state your
desire. Only then will your fear cease to be a
phantom menace and instead become concrete—
and thus conquerable.

Litanize humility.