Communication Tips for Preventing Conflict

Having good, open communication is essential to preventing conflict, as many conflicts occur
due to basic miscommunication. When establishing guidelines or training, consider including the
following communication tips, as well as the more detailed effective listening and
communication techniques we discuss in the Conflict Resolution section. If everyone within your
team or organization is following the same guidelines for communication, the majority of
conflict can be avoided.

Communicate respectfully. Treat people with courtesy, politeness, and kindness. Don’t talk
down to anyone. Honor their time and avoid interrupting. Be careful with any form of criticism.
Be mindful of your body language and tone of voice. These are all important factors for
respectful communication. However, there is a saying, “treat people the way that you want to be
treated.” But people often miss the true meaning of this. They don’t realize that what it really
means to “treat people the way THEY want to be treated.” In other words, some people will have
preferences of how they want to be treated and addressed, and it important that you honor them.

Attack the problem, not the person. When addressing any problem, you can avoid it becoming
a conflict simply by remembering not to personalize it. Remember that it is almost never the case
that anyone intentionally does something to harm another person. Plus, mistakes are, by their
very nature, accidental. Avoid accusations or placing blame. Rather, approach the other person
as if you need their help finding a solution.

Take responsibility. In the majority of conflicts, both parties have some degree of
responsibility. However, most of us tend to blame rather than looking at our own role in the
problem. Avoid becoming defensive by being upfront with yourself, and the other party,
regarding whatever level of responsibility you feel you can take. In the event you have made a
mistake, apologize right away. This is especially important if you are the leader in the situation.
And, remember that when wanting another person to take responsibility, letting them know that
you understand how a mistake or misunderstanding could have happened is a much better
approach than placing blame, accusing, and demanding them to accept responsibility. Remember
that you’re not trying to make someone wrong, you’re trying to remedy the situation.

Listen. Listening is much more than simply being quite; it means truly trying to understand the
points that someone else is making. This is especially important if someone else is confronting
YOU about a situation. For example, there may be times that someone will express
disappointment or frustration about something you may have done or said. It is human nature to
feel defensive, however, if you focus on listening with the goal of understanding where they are
coming from, it will help you avoid becoming defensive. Seek first to understand, not defend.
Keep in mind that it takes a lot of courage for this person to approach you and they may already
be feeling defensive, themselves. By truly listening, you actually help them bring their guard
down. In the end, most people just want to be heard. We will get more into effective listening
techniques in the Conflict Resolution section.

Seek advice. Regardless of whether you are a manager or employee, there will be times when it
is helpful to discuss a situation with a neutral third party who is outside of the situation
emotionally and can help you see a clearer picture of how to handle it. In other words, there is
nothing wrong with talking to someone in upper management or talking to someone in HR to get
a different perspective and possible insights. However, talking with a peer or anyone who is not
in a leadership position can cause problems, lead to gossip, and create unnecessary tension.

Assign an outsider. As a manager, it’s important to recognize that sometimes employees or staff
may not feel comfortable talking to you or their own team leader or manager about a conflict.
Therefore, you may want to consider assigning a person, such as an HR employee, to be
designated as the person that people can talk to about something that may be bothering them.
Sometimes people just need to vent and be able to fully express themselves. Make sure that it is
established that the conversation will be confidential so that people feel comfortable talking to
the person.