[

05/
02,
18:
54]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose

Pr
ologue

Wemakechoi ces,somegoodandsomenotso
goodbutt hebot t
om l i
neiswehav etobi tethe
bull
etandl i
vewi t
ht hem.I '
m notsoposi ti
ve
aboutt hechoi cesImadebutt heybr oughtme
hereandnowher eIam scav engingl i
keahobo
i
nt hesest reetshustli
ngf orfoodandl ifein
Gener alandt r
uthisbet weent hebooze, drugs
andev er
ythinginbet weenIhav elostmyway
butam Ir eadyt ogiveitallup?Wel lti
mewi l
ltel
l.
Mypar entsgav emeameani ngful name
Banoy oloNy athibutthest r
eetschangedme
andIadopt edanot herone, amor ebef itti
ngone
sot ospeak.I '
m nowcal l
edRush.Thi sismy
storyandt hrought heblackout sandst range
bedsIwokeuponIhopeIr ememberev ery t
hing.
Li
ke, shareandspr eadthewor d.Myl ifeisnot
yourtypicalstandar
donebuthereiam t
ryna
rect
ifyandst anduptall
.Thr
oughmybusy
scheduleIpr omiseyouonethi
ng,Iwi
l
lgiveyou
thefullstor
y
[
05/
02,
18:
54]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose

Chapt
er1

Iwalkedsl owlytomyr entedr oom obl iviousof

theslowf all
ingrai
n.Iki ndofenj oy edt hest ate
ofmi ndittakesmet omay bei t'
sbecauseof
thejointIsmokedaf terwor k.I'
mt iredandt ruth
i
sImi ssJamesmor et hanany thingt odaybutI
can'
tcal lhi
m ashei shome.Ther aint hough
alwayst akemet oat ranqui lplacet hatwashes
awaymyunsav our
ythought s.I'm a20y earold
workingatmet r
owhol esal eandI '
m enj oying
myj obasi tpaysthebi ll
s.Whent heysay
ther
e'sabl acksheepoft hef ami lyI '
m pr etty
suretheyhadmewhent heycr eatedt hewor d.I
wassuspendedcount l
esst i
mesatschool then
fi
nall
ygotexpel l
ed.YesI'm oneoft helucky
onesthatstudiedinoneoft hef ancyEnglish
medium schoolsbutmybehav i
ourf r
ustr
at ed
bothmypar entsandt eachers.Byt heti
meI
wasdoi nggrade11Iwasaheav ydri
nkerand
smokedweed.Ihadt of i
nishmygr ade12back
homei nacrowdedpubl i
cschool .
Ifi
nall
ygott omyr oom andt hesi ghtof
unwasheddi shesr eallygetstomebutI 'mlazy
astheycome.It ookabat handmadeeggswi t
h
bread.Thiswi llbemysupperf ortodayand
may betomor r
owIwi l
ldothedi shes.Iroll
ed
anotherjointandst art
edsmoki ng.Therewasa
knockatt hedoorandIwentt oansweri tonlyto
fi
ndJamesl ooki ngdev i
l
ishl
yhandsomeas
always.Hehat esitwhenIsmokeespeci all
yin
theroom andIsawt hewayhel ookedatme
thatheisnoti mpr essed.Hewi llbemydr ugfor
toni
ghtsoIdabbedi tandwentt ositdown.No
welcomingki sst odayIguessI '
mi nthe
doghousehey.Idon'
tknowwhatIdi dbuttr
uth
i
sIdon'twanttopissthi
sdudeof fcozheisthe
onl
ymeaningfulthi
nginmyl i
feespecial
l
yafter
bei
ngdisownedbymypar ent
s.
Iofferedhi m aseatandpour edhimj uice.As
usual hebr oughtfoodbutIhav ealreadyeaten
sowhenIsuggest edt hatIdi
shonl yf orhim but
hetur nedt heofferdownci ti
ngt hathehad
braai witht heguy s.Wel lmylunchf ortomorrow
i
ssor tedt hen.Ther e'
ssomet hingabouthi s
bodyl anguaget hatspeaksaf orei
gnt ongueI
neverwantt oknow.I tgivesmewei rdv i
besbut
Iwillwai tforhimt otellmewhati tiscozIcan
seet hatsomet hingi supwithhi m.Isatdown
nextt ohi m andIdon' tknowifit'
smy
i
magi nationbutheki ndoffli
nched.

James:
Banoweneedt
otal
k
Me:
what
'
supbabe?
James:
Ihav
efoundsomeoneIl
oveandIt
hink
i
t'
sser
ioussoi
thi
nkweshoul
dbr
eakup
Me:justl
i
ket
hat
?Forf
ivey
earsy
ou'
vebeen
scr
ewingmeandnowyoudumpme?
James:youknewwhenwest art
edthisthatit
cannevergoanywher
easwecan' tletanyone
knowaboutus.Don'
tyouwanttobewi t
h
someonewhowi l
lbeproudtocally
ouy ourown?
Maybesomeonewhowi llwantt
omar r
yy ou?
Me:Jamescomeonmany
ouknowIl
ovey
ou
andwantonl
yyou
James:doyout hi
nkthisi
seasyforme?We
can'
tcar
ryonlikethi
sBanoi t
'snotheal
thy
.
Whatifyougetpregnantagai
n?

Ididn'
twantt
ohearanyoft hisandthemorehe
tr
iedtoexpl
ainthemor eIgotangryanddi
dn'
t
wanttohearanyofit.Whataboutmeandwas
i
tallali
e?They ear
stogetherwhenhewarmed
mybedandt oldmet hathelovedonlyme?So
whati ft
hewor l
dwon'
tacceptus?Wel ov
eeach
otherandwecanmov et
oanothertownand
startafr
esh.Whycan'
tJamesseet hi
ngsmy
way .Heisall
Ihaveandican'
tlethi
m gojust
l
iket hat
.

James:didyouevenhearwhatIsaid?Youneed
tochangeyourl
if
eBano,youcan'tkeepli
vi
ng
l
ikethi
s.
Me:di
dyouev
enthinkaboutmewheny ou
cametot
hedeci
siontobreakt
hisup?
James:ofcozIt
hinkaboutyoual
ltheti
me.
DamnI'myourol
derbrotherf
orcr
yingoutl
oud
andIcan'
tdothi
sanymor e
Me: yety
oudidnotthinkofthatwhenyou
fuckedmesenselessforyearsandgotme
hookedonboozeandweed.Nowy oustand
thereandactal
lri
ghteousbecauseofsome
newpussy ?Getoutofmyr oom Jamesright
now.
Hetr
iedtor
easonbutIwast
ooangr
ytot
alk
andt
earswerebl
indi
ngme.
[
05/
02,
18:
54]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose

Chapt
er2

Iwasangr yandhurtmor esobecauseJamesi s

theonewhomademef allheadov erheelsfor
himt hennowhewant stodumpme?Howwi ll
I
mov eonwhenIhav enoone, Imeanabsol utel
y
nooneashehasal ienatedmef r
om ev er
yone
whot riedt
ogetclosertomeashewasaf r
aid
thatIwouldletsl
i
paboutoursol ici
taffai
r.I
knowi tswrongbutwear ewaypastt hatnow
andwecan' tdwellonthatbutt heproblem at
hand.Whocoul dhehav ef all
enforwhenhei s
alway swit
hme?Myl if
easIknowi tisreall
y
fuckedupnowandIdon' tknowwhet herI'
m
comi ngorgoing.What'swor seisthathemade
mel ooksobadi nfrontofmypar entsthatt
hey
fi
nall
ydi sownedmesot hathecanhav eme
wherev erhewantedto.Itstart
edy earsago
whenIwasdoi nggrade10andIwas15y ear
s
old.
Icamebackf r
om school fortheJunehol idays
andf oundhi m home.Hewasgoi nghi sfinal
yearatv arsit
yandhewas22att het i
me.The
fi
rstbor nofthef ami lyandt hepr i
deandj oyof
ourpar ent
s.Wehav er ichpar entsandt hey
boughthi m agol fvel ocit
ywhenhet urned21.
Wewer ecloseunl ikemyot herbr otherJohn.
Myf ami l
yisv eryreligioussowewer etaughtall
therightandChr i
stiant hings.Icoul dn'twear
j
eansoranyt r
ouser sandi washappywi tht hat
.
Onedayourpar entswentt oaconf rencei nEast
l
ondonsot hi
st i
meIwentt omybr ot her'
sr oom
andf oundhi m drinkingr edwi ne.Hegav emea
glassandaskedmet odr i
nk.I twassweetbut
thetastehadt hataft ereffectt hatclearlyt ol
d
youi t
snotj uice.Heur gedmet odr i
nki tand
saidit'stheonedr anki nchur chwhent he
pastori sar ound.Onmysecondgl assIf el ta
l
ittl
edi zzyandst opped.Hest artedki ssingand
touchingmeandIst oppedhi m cozIknewt his
couldn'tber i
ght .Ilefthi m andwentt omyr oom.
Iundr essedandgott obednakedbecausei t
washot .Jamescamei nandsatatt heedgeof
thebed.Icoul dt ell
thathe' sbeensmoki ng
weedcozhesmokesev enthoughmypar ents
don'tknow.Heapol ogisedf ort ouchingmeand
Iforgav ehim.Hewaski ssi
ngmegoodni ght
andi twassupposedt obeapeckont hecheek
butforsomer easonheendeduponmymout h
andwhenhesawmyexposedbr east she
start
edt ouchingt hem butIst oppedhi m.Hel ef
t
butfrom t henonhei ntroducedmet omor e
boozeandweedandwoul dteasemet ot he
pointwher eIdi dn'twanthi mt ost opki ssingor
touching.I tcamet oapoi ntwher eIwoul dbeg
himt oandbyt het i
meIwentbackt oschool I
wassoi ntoweed.Hewoul dvisi
tmeatschool
andt hemat rondi dn'
thav eproblemswi thme
takinganoutweekendwi thmybr otherandwe
woul dbackpackt ogether.West art
edsl eeping
togetheri nSept emberandhewassogent l
e
withmet hatIsawhi m asmyher oandkni ghtI
shiningar mour .Ithasn'tescapedmet hatheis
mybr otherandamuchol deroneatt hatbutI
l
ov ehi m.Byt het imeIwasdoi nggr ade11Iwas
anal cohol icandusedal lmypocketmoneyt o
buyanyki ndofboozeandf r
equentedbar sand
clubsj ustt oscor ef r
eeboozewhi chl ettomy
i
nsat iablequestf orsexandmor esex.Igot
expelledandmypar entstookmebackhome.
Mybr otherwasnowwor kingandIwoul dv i
sit
him ev eryweekendandwewer eseriousabout
eachot her .Hewasobsessedaboutmeand
didn'tev enwantmet ohav efri
ends.Byt hetime
Iwaswr i
tingmymat r
icexamshewasget ti
ng
outofhandandwoul dtakemeany wher eat
homef or gettingaboutany ondwhocoul dsee.
ThistimeIwassoi nl ovewi thhi mt hathewas
theonlyt hingt hatmat t
eredi nmyl i
f e.Thef i
rst
weekofDecembert haty eartheyf oundoutt hat
Iwaspr egnantandt hingsgotsoheat edwhenI
didn'
twantt ot el
lt hem whot hef atherofmy
babywas.Il i
edandsai dIdi dntknowbecauseI
wassl eepi withlotofpeopl ewhenIsecr etly
wentcl ubbingsot heyst oppedt alkingt ome.
Dadt hencamet or oom oneev eningandasked
met ochangemyway sasi wasembar r
assi ng
them tot hecommuni t
y.Byt hist i
meI 'm aheav y
smokerandIst i
l
l dr i
nkdespi t
et hepr egnancy .
Jameshasnowst ar eddoi ngdr ugsandhe
wouldhi det hem i nmyr oom andwoul dtakeme
onlongdr i
v esdur ingt hedaysowecoul df uck
i
nhi scarori nthewi lderness.Whenhewant ed
met herewasnot hi nghecoul ddot ocont rol it
.
Somet imeswewoul ddoi tinthet oiletori nt he
garden.Thi sonedayhel efthisdr ugsont opof
mybedandmydadj ustsawr edanddi sowned
met hereandt hen.Jameswashappywi tht his
andf oundmeapl acetor entandev engotme
thisjobatshopr i
te.Heboughtmegr ocer ies
thent ookmet oMar i
est opest ogetr idoft he
pregnancy .Idi dntf eelany t
hingaboutt he
termi nat
ionandi twasasi fallmyot her
emot ionsaref rozenexceptmyunf linchingl ove
forJames.Iher owor shi
phi m andev erything
hedoesi srighti nmyr osecol ouredey es.He
tri
edt omakemer educemyal cohol intakeand
thismademesmokemor e.Hecamebackt o
wor kIourhomet ownasaj uniorprosecut or
andhewoul di ntroducemet ohiscol l
eaguesas
hisy oungersi ster.Somet i
meshespentt he
nightatmypl aceorwoul dj usthumpmef oran
hourorsoandl eav ecozhedi dntwantpeopl e
toaskquest ions.Whenev erItriedt
omake
fri
endswi t
hsomeonehewoul dgetangr yand
mypuni shmentwoul dbet hathewoul dspend
day swi t
houtseei ngme.Thi smadememor e
sadt hatIwoul dbeghi mt ocomebackand
promi setoendt hef r
iendshi p.
BacktothepresentIam nowal onerandt he
onl
ypersonclosetomei sJames.Ilovehim
wit
heveryboneonmybodyandIcan' tforthe
l
oveofmef or
gehimj ustli
kethat
.Howwi l
lI
pi
ckupt hepiecesofmyl if
enowandwhat
wouldhappent omenowasIdon' tevenhav ea
si
nglefr
iend?
[
05/
02,
18:
54]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose

Chapt
er3

Theday sthatfollowedwer etor

tur
e.Itr
ied
everythi
ngtogetJamest ocomebackbuthe
didn'
tbudge.Idr ankeachdayandi twas
start
ingtoaffectmywor k.Iwasmaking
mi st
akesevery dayunti
ll
Iwascal l
edint
ot he
manager '
soffice.Notoncehav eIbeencalled
i
nt othemanager '
soff
iceandIwasscar edt o
saytheleast.Byt heti
meIgott hereiwas
shakingli
keal eaf.Themanageri smybr other'
s
classmatefr
om hi
ghschoolsothat
'
swhyIgot
thejob.Heisanononsensemanwhodoesn'
t
takekindl
ytounderachi
ever
s.

Li
nda:
tal
ktomeBanoy
oloi
sev
ery
thi
ngokat
home?
Me:y
essi
rev
eryt
hingi
sfi
ne.I
t'
sjustt
hatIhav
e
al
otonmymind.
Li
nda:you'
veneverhadprobl
emssi
nceyou
star
tedher
eandI '
m wor
ri
edabouty
ou.Shoul
dI
call
yourbr
other
?

Istartedsweatingwi t
houtev enreali
zi
ngi tand
hebr oughtmeagl assofwat er.Iqui
cklydr ank
thewat erandrealizedt hatIneedt ogetmy sel
f
together.IpromisedLi ndat hatIwil
lstraighten
outandwentbackt owor k.Itr
iedeverythingto
forgetJamesbutt rut
hi shewasapar tofme
forsol ongthatIdidn'tknowhowt odoi t.I
stoppeddr i
nkingev erydaythoughbutt onumb
thepai nIsmokedweedl i
keitwasgoi ngoutof
fashion.Ididitev erydayandnot hingseemedt o
help.OnweekendsIwoul dhi tt
avernsandt he
clubanddr inkmy selftoast upor.ThisnightI
wasatt heclubdr inki
ngwi thsomer andom
guy sandt r
uthi sIwasal r
eadyoutofi twhenI
feltsomeonegr abmyar m sobadandy anked
meof fmyf eet.ItwasJamesandhedr agged
meoutt ohiscar .

Me:whyar
eyoudoingthi
sJ?I'm deadt
oyou
any
waysoidon'
tgetyourbehavi
our
James:
youandIarecutf
rom t
hesamecl ot
h
andnomatt
erwhatIdoorwhoI'm wi
th,
youwil
l
al
waysbemine

Idon'tgethi
m andthisismakingmemore
confusedandI'
m nicelydr
unk.Wedri
vet
omy
pl
aceandwear ehardlyi
nsi
dewhenhestar
ts
teari
ngmycl othesoffwhi l
ekissingme
senseless.HerammedOnmel ikehislife
dependedoni tandwekeptati ttil
lwebot hfelt
sot i
redthatsl
eepwast heonlywayout .James
i
sl i
keadr ugI'
m addictedtoandonl yhecan
curemyaddi cti
on.Thef air
ytal
eonl ylasted
throughthenightthoughashegotacal learl
y
i
nt hemor ni
ngf r
om thiswomanwhoI
suspectedwashi slove.Het ol
dherhewas
comi ngoverri
ghtawayl ikewhatt heheck?

Me:
don'
ttel
lmey
ouar
eleav
ingsoear
ly?
James: Ihav
eto.Mygi
rl
fr
iendwant
sust
ohav
e
breakf
ast
Me:
andwhatam It
oyout
henJames?
James: don'tgother
eBanopl ease.Thisthingis
diff
icultasitis.Hegotupandt ookabat ht hen
l
eftaf ewnot esonthetabl
eandl eft
,justl
ike
that.Ifeltusedandempt yanddidn'tknow
whet hertocr yorgetangry
.Ididn'
tdonei t
her
andj ustr oll
edaj oi
ntandsmokedbyt he
window.Ineedt odosomet hingt ogetJames
outofmyl i
febuti hav enocl uehowt odot hat.
Justt het houghtofi tbringstear stomyey es.
Thepr oblem i sthatI'vebeenwi thhi mi nmy
cruci al yearsandnowt omehei sthebestt hing
toev erhappent ome.Hewaswi thmei nny
dev elopi ngy earsand5y earswi thsomeonei s
nomeanf eat .I
'
m 20wi thnodi rectioninlifeand
thi
si ssl owl ydest r
oy i
ngmewi t
houtmeev en
realizingi t.It'saSundayandIhav enowher et o
goexceptt odomyl aundr y
.Icleanedmyr oom
andev enwashedt hedi shest hendi dmy
l
aundr y.Byt het i
meIwasdoneIwast ootired
todoany thingandj ustf el
lasleep.Theday s
thatf ol l
owedwer eslowandt i
ri
ngf ormeandI
tri
edt oconcent r
ateatwor k.Ther e'
sonl yone
const antinal lt
hisandi tsthatImi sshi m but
I'
mt ryingsohar dtof orgethim.I t'
sbeen6
weeksofnotseei nghi m andI 'm starti
ngt o
forgethi m.Iev enmadeaf ri
endwi ththisot her
newgi rlatwor kNel isaandIwasenj oy i
ngit.
Shewasol derthanmebuti tsti
llfel
tgood
havingsomeonet otalkt oint hi
slonel ycapsule
I'
vebeenl i
v i
ngin.It'
saThur sdayandI '
m
walkinghomewi t
hNel lyandwear et alki
ngas
alway s.Wegott oherpl aceandsai dour
goodby et henIwentt omypl ace.Isawhi scar
parkedf rom acr osst hest reetandf rom wher e
hewaspar kedhemusthav eseenNel l
yandI .I
wentt omyr oom andasIwascl osingt hedoor
hebl ockedi twithhisf oot .Ilethimi ncozI
knowf ightinghim won' thel p.There's
somet hingdar kandscar yabouthi mt onight
andbef oreIcoul dthinkmor eaboutt hishe
sl
appedmesohar dacr ossmyf ace.

Me:
whatwast
hatf
or?
James:
youdi
sobey
ingmebyhav
ingaf
ri
end.

Hegav
emeanot
herhotoneandmyheadspun.
Itr
iedtosturdymysel
fandtheki
cki
ngand
punchingstart
edunti
l
lmywholebodywason
fi
re.Mybodyi sbat
ter
edandbrui
sedfrom hi
s
beltbuckl
eandIlayonthebedhel
pless.

James:
I'
m sosor
rybabe.I
'
llmakei
tupt
oyou

Hecamenextt omeandst art

edtouchi
ngme.I
cri
ngedandhedi dn'
tstopatal landwental
lthe
wayt opleasur
ehimselfoblivi
oustothepai
nI'm
i
nort hathewasal onerider.Thisl
if
eIchose
though,howdoi getoverit?
[
05/
02,
18:
54]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose

Chapt
er4(
expl
i
citcont
ent
)

Iwasinpai
nandatt
hatverymomentIst
art
ed
hat
ingmysel
fandmyli
fe.Ther
ereal
l
yisno
l
ightatt heendoft het unnel forme.Iam al one
withnof ri
endsandf ami lyandt heOneper son
whoal ienat edmef rom ev er
y oneistreatingme
l
ikeapi eceofmeat .Whatt ypeofl i
feist hi
sand
i
st hereanendt oit?Hei snowsl eeping
peaceful l
ynextt omeandt r
yasImi ghtIcannot
hatehim.I '
mi npai nandi tsget t
ingbadwi th
eachmoment .Ther ei sabot tleofwhi skeyt hat
hebr oughtwi t
hhi m soi pourmy selfast if
ftot
anddr anki traw.Wi thinnot imeIj oinhimi n
slumber landonl ytobewokenupl aterwi thmy
bodyonf i
re.Thepai nf rom lastni ghtis
unbear ableandIcan' tt akeitany mor e.James
hasgoneasusual andIhav eNoonet ocal l
.I
don'thav eanypai nkiller sandi fIcallan
ambul anceIwi llhav et oexpl ainwhathappened.
Jameswi l
l ki
l
l mei fIt el lanyoneaboutussoi
decidet ocal lhim.I t'
saf ter2am andIcan' twait
forthemor ning.Heanswer saf t
erfewr ings.

James:
heybabe,
missi
ngmeal
ready
?
Me:I'
minpai
nJ.Mywhol
ebodyi
sachi
ngandI
can'
tsl
eep
James:
I'
m comi
ng

Anhourl aterhecomesi nandspongebat hme

thenr oll
edabl untandl etmesmokei t.This
weedi sstrongert hanany thingI'
veev er
smokedandknocksmeof fsamet ime.Iwoke
upi nthemor ningal oneagai nandbecauseof
thebr uisesandpai nIcan'tgot owor ksoi
calledinsi ckandj ustst ay
edi nbed.Ar ound
l
unchhecamewi thf oodandsomemedsbut
aftereat i
ngher ol
ledmeanot herbluntandwe
smokedi t.Thisonemademehor nyt hatIcan't
thinkofany t
hingbutbei nglaid.Het ookof fhi
s
clothesandj oi
nedmei nbedandr eallygaveit
tome.Byt hetimehewasdonemypunani was
bur ni
ngabi t
.Hehadt ogobackt owor kandI
bat hedandchangedt hencleanedmyr oom.
From t henonwar dshewoul dcomet omypl ace
everynowandt henandl etmesmokewi thhim
thi
sspeci al weedandwewoul dhav esexf or
hoursaftert hat.Istoppedl ov inghim andIwas
deepintot hisbot t
oml essshel lt
hatIcoul dn'
t
eveneat.Il ostwei ghtandal lIcoulddoi s
smokehi sweedandpl easehi m.Theef fectsof
whathemademesmokewer ereall
ybadcozat
ti
mesIwoul dbehor nyev enatwor kandcal l
him.Hewoul dfetchmef orlunchandwewoul d
haveaqui cki eatmypl acebef or
ehet akesme
backtowor k.Thisdayi t
'saThur sdayandi ts
rai
ningsoIcal lhimt ofetchmef rom wor kand
hetell
smet hathehast ot akehi sgirl
fr
iend
home.Ideci detobr avet her ainandopenmy
smallumbr ell
awhi chdoesn' thel pmuch.Acar
pull
supnextt omeandheof fersmeal if
t.Heis
suchani ceguyandt alksal ltheway .Heasks
formynumberandasmuchashesoundsl i
kea
goodpersonIcan' tgethimi nv olvedinmy
messedupl i
fesoi t
ellhimt hatI '
m engaged.I
underst
andt heshocki nhi sey escozIl ook
youngert
hanmy20y ear
sespeci
all
ywiththi
s
body.HedropsmeatmyplaceandIthankhim.
Inoti
cedJames'cart
hemomentIsteppedout
andhealsogotoutandf
oll
owsmet omyr oom.

James:sot
hisi
swhaty
oudowhenI
'
m not
around?
Me:hejustgavemealif
tbecausei
t'
srai
ning.
What'
swr ongwit
hthat
?

Hesl appedmeandIi gnoredhim andcarr

iedon
takingoffmywetcl othes.Heslappedmeagai n
thengav emeapi l
landt ol
dmet oswallowit
.I
refusedandhebeatmeupunt il
lIswall
owedit
andhesatt her ewatchi
ngt vwhil
eIwashed.By
thet i
meIf i
nishedbathingIwassohor nyand
wett hatIwentt ohi
m andst ar
tedkissi
nghim.

James:
I'
m noti
nthemoodf
ort
hisBanocan
wej
ustwat
cht
v

I
sthi
smanforreal
?It
ri
edagai
nandhepushed
meawayf
rom him.

James:
youwantmet
osl
eepwi
thy
ou?
Me:
yesbabeIdo
James:
thenbegme.
Me:
Jamespl
easemakel
ovet
ome
James:Idon'
tmakel
ovet
ob*
*esl
i
key
oubutI
f*
*kthem har
d

Hegr abbedmyhai randthrewmeont hefl

oor
andslammedonmesohar dt hatmybackwas
evenachi ng.I
twasasi fheispossessedt hen
hegotoutandwor econdom andev enputa
l
ubricant.Thisi
sst r
angeasweonl yusea
condom whenI 'm havi
ngperiods.Het ur
nedme
aroundandmademekneel thendidthe
unthinkable.Thepainwassobadt hatI
screamedoutl oudandhesl appedmybut t
cheeksandt ol
dmet oshutup.Iwaswor ri
ed
thatmyassi stornandbl eedingashewasn' t
evengent leaboutit.Lordgetmeoutoft hi
s
beforethismanki l
l
sme.Whenhewasdonehe
stoodupandgotdr essedthent hr
ewaf ew
hundr edrandnot esonmybed.

James:
cleanyoursel
fupB,yourassisbl
eedi
ng.
Itwi
l
lbebett
ernex tt
imebabe.Getyour
sel
f
somesexyli
ngeri
e.

HealwaysgivesmelargesumsofmoneybutI
j
ustputiti
nthebankasIdon' thaveinteresti
n
buyi
nganythi
ngfancy.Heleftmel yi
ngt here
andwhenIt r
iedt
ostandupIst ruggledtogetto
thebat
hroom.Icoul
dn'tevensitdownandt ook
ashowerthenappli
edlotsofVaseline.James
hasturnedi ntoamonst erandIneedt ogetout
ofthisplacebef oreheki ll
sme.Ican' treport
hi
mt ot hepol icecozmyf atheri sthest ati
on
commanderandhewi ll
thinkI '
m upt omyol d
tr
icksagai n.Icall
edmyf ormerschool mate
fr
om myshepst oneday sandshet oldmet hat
shenowwor ksinDur banatabankandIcan
crashinherf l
atforaf ewday s.Ihav eenough
moneycozJameswast akingcar eofmeandI
didn'
tuseanyofmymoney .Thef ollowingweek
hewoul dst il
lcomeandseemeandwewoul d
havenor mal sex.OnFr i
dayt houghhecame
homedr unkandaf terweat ehest artedkissi
ng
met henf i
nger edme.Twof ingerst hent hr
ee
andbef oreIknewi thegothi sfi
sti nsideand
whenIscr eamedi npai nhecov eredmymout h
withhishand.Ipassedoutf rom thepai nand
whenIcant ohewassmoki ngont hecouch.

James:
I'
m sosor
rymyl
oveIt
houghty
ou
woul
denjoyi
t.
Hebr oughtawar mt owel andputi tther et o
reducet hebur ning.ThankGodI 'ml eavingon
SundayasIcan' ttakehi sfetishany mor e.He
l
ef tandIst ar tedpacki ng.WhenIwasdoneI
putmysui t
casesbackwher et heyst aysot hat
hedoesn' tsuspectany t
hing.Sat urdayni ghtI
wentt ot hecl ubj ustt odr inkmywor ri
esaway
bef oreIl eav eandhear ri
vedwi tht woguy sI
didn'tknowandi ntroducedmet othenashi s
speci alfriend.Hei sni cetodayandkeptbuy i
ng
medr inks.Ar oundmi dnightIwasdr owsyand
theyof fer edt otakemehome.Her olledt hat
j
ointf ormeandwhenIt ri
edt or esisthegav e
met helook.Thet woguy sareatt hef rontand
webot hsi t
tingatt heback.Byt het i
mewegot
tomypl aceIwasr eadyt or i
phi sclot hesof f
onlyt hist imehei nvitedhi sfriendst ojoi nus
andwhent heywer edoneal lmyhol eswer e
bur ni
ng.Theymi ghthav eusedpr otectionbutI
stil
l f
eltdi rtyandhumi li
ated.Theyf i
nallyl eft
afterwhatseemedl ikeanet erni t
yandJames
tol
dmet ocheckthet vstandwhenIwakeup.
YesIcoul dn'
tmovesoi dontknowwhatheput
there.I
nt hemorni
ngt houghItoldmy sel
fthat
despitethepainIam outofher e.Aft
ergett
ing
readyIcheckedthet vstandandf ound10
grandwi t
hanot ethatsaidTHERE' SMORE
WHERETHATCAMEFROM.TONI GHTIWI LL
BRINGASPECI ALCUSTOMER.

Itookmysui t
casesandl
eftmyhometown
behind.Let
'sseewhatDur
banhasinstor
e.
[
05/
02,
18:
54]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose

Chapt
er5

Iarr
ivedinDurbanandZamaf et
chedmef rom
theDurbanstati
on.Shetookmetoherplace
andthere'
ssomet hi
ngdodgyaboutthepl
ace.
Forastartt
here'snofoodint
hefri
dgebutwine
andbeer .Thepl acei sr
eal lysmallanddi rt
yand
abitstuf fy.Coul dshehav ebeenl y
ingwhenshe
saidshewor kedatt hebank?What everthe
caseIwi llneedt ogetoutofher ebefor ethe
endoft heweek.Thi splacegi vesmet hecr eeps.
Zamasai dweshoul dgoandbuyf oodandwe
wentt ot hel i
ttl
eshoppi ngcent renotf arfrom
theflat.Weboughtt het akeaway sandwent
backt ot hef l
at .Shel ef
ti ntheafternoonand
saidshei sgoi ngt oherboy fri
endandasked
thatIdon' topenf orany one.Iwat chedt vtry i
ng
topasst het i
met henmyphoner ang.Itwas
JamesandIi gnor editcozIdi dn'twantt o
speakt ohi m.Idi dn'
tknowwhatIwoul dsayt o
him soi decidedt ol eti
tr ing.Aft
erawhi l
ei t
becamei r
rit
atingandIpi ckeditup.

James:
babewherear
eyou?I
'
vebeenwai
ti
ng
fory
ouforawhi
l
e
Me:
I'
m sor
ryJbutIhadt
ogot
oKokst
adf
ora
f
ewday
sandIwi
l
lbebackbyweekend
James:
what
'sgoi
ngoni
nKokst
ad
Me:Ineedtogetmymi ndusedt othenewlife
youj
ustint
roducedmet o.Howcany oumake
meahookerJ?YouknowhowmuchIl oved
t
henyouv i
olatedmeliket hatanddidthi
ngsto
meIneverev enimagi
ned.It houghtyoul
oved
me
James:wai
tIt
houghty
ouenj
oyedal
lthat
.Why
di
dn'
tyousayany
thi
ng?

Thismani sfargonesoi justdroppedmy

phoneandswi tcheditoff
.Hei stakingmeback
tot hatdarkplaceIdon'twanttogot oandit
s
ti
met odestroythissi
m card.Ther ealit
yofmy
l
ifebecameev i
dentwhenIt r
iedtosl eep
becauseIdi dn'thaveweedwi thmenIdon' t
drinkwi nenorbeersoi sattherefi
ght i
ngmy
demonsandmydr eamswer escary .Wheneveri
closedmyey esIsawJamesf i
sti
ngmeoror
doingt hatanal penet rati
onandt hepai n
seemedsor ealthatIwokeupwi thast artandI
wassweat i
ng.WhenIwokeupi nt hemor ni ngI
reali
sedt hatZamawasback.Shedi dn'tlook
l
ikeshewasgoi ngt owor kandIdi dn't
under standwhyshecamebacksoear ly
becauseIwokeupat6am andshewasal ready
fastasleep.Idon' tev enknowwhatt imeshe
cameback.Ibat hedandchangedt henwr otea
notet oZamat hatI '
m goi ngtol ookf oraj ob.I fI
stayher eIwi l
lgocr azyandIcan' taffordt hat .
Lookingf oraj obist hemostdi ffi
cul tthingandI
hadt opr intacvf i
rst .Aft
er1t herewasst ill
nothingandIwasget t
ingdesper atenow.Iwent
tothissur geryandspoket ot
hel adyatt he
recept i
onandshet oldmet hattheonl yjobt hey
havei st hatofacl eanerandIt ooki t.She
seemsl ikeani cel adyandIaskedherofshe
knowsanycheappl aceIcoul drentandshe
gavemeanumbert ocall atl
amont vil
leandI
foundapl ace.It
'ssmal lroom butenoughf or
me.Ist ruggledt ogetat axitot akemet here
butIf inallyfoundi tthenboughtabedand
beddi ng.Ipai dt her entandwentbackt of etch
myt hings.It hankedZamaf orgi vingmeapl ace
tosleepandl ef t.Iwi llbuysomeoft hest uffas
ti
megoes.Ist artedt hef oll
owi ngdayand
real
izedt hatt hepl acei sanabor ti
oncl inicof
somesor tandci rcumci si onplace.I nt he
mor ningsheseesnor mal patient st henaf t
er
l
unchhemeet st hescor esofbr okenwomen
whowantt ot ermi nat et heirpregnanci es.The
fi
rstfewday swer eabi thect i
cf ormecozIwas
cravinganddi dn' tknowwher et ogetweedf rom
orany thingst ronger .I nt heafter noonsIwoul d
haveoneci derandsl eepbutt heni ghtmar es
weresor eal.Idon' tknowhowIwi llgetov er
thi
s.OnFr idayIam busywi thmywor kwhen
thi
sy ounggi r
l comesi nwi t
hamuchol der
boyfriendf oranabor tionandi tt ri
gger eda
memor yandIst ar t
edshaki ng.DrKi mbel was
comi ngoutoft het oiletandsawmecoi l
edi n
t
hecor
nerandknel
tnextme

Kimbel
:tal
ktomeBanoyol
owhatiseati
ngyou
up?Icanseethaty
ouhavet
hisdar
kcloud
aboveyou.

Icouldn'
ttalkandt hiswaseat ingmeupandI
don'tknowwhot ot r
ustcozI '
v ebeent hrough
darknessandIdon' tknowi ftalkingwi l
lhelpas
Ihavebeenqui etforsol ong.Het ookmet ohis
offi
ceandIj ustbr okedown.Thet hingisIdon't
knowhowt ot alkaboutt hisandwher etost ar
t.
Ifeell
ikeitsallmyf aultandthatIcoul dhav e
donesomet hi
ngt ost opi t
.Howwi llpeopletake
thi
sifIfinall
yopenup?It hinkI'm bett
erof f
beingquietort ell
i
ngt hem partofi t
.Sincehei s
waiti
ngf orananswerIhav et ogivehim
somet hi
ng.
Me:thatcoupler
emindedmeofthet
imemy
boy
friendtookmeforanabor
ti
onwit
houtso
muchasawor dtome
Ki
mbel
:di
dyougetcounsel
l
ingaf
tert
hat
?
Me:
nosi
rInev
erdi
d
Ki
mbel:
Icanorgani
seyouoneatt
hehospi
tal
.
I
t'
sfr
eeanditmighthel
pyou
Me:Idon'
tknowsi
rcozI
'
vebeenqui
etf
ort
oo
l
ong

IjustwishIcanhav eaf r
iend,justonef r
iendt o
talktoaboutnormal staf
fandt akei tf
rom t here.
Myj obisdraini
ngasIhav etochanget hesoi led
disposablebedcov ersaft
erev eryaborti
on
procedure.Beli
evemebutt hi
si snotthej obI
woul dhavechosenf ormy sel
fbuti tpayst he
bill
s.Themostdaunt ingthingisthatIcan' t
stomachany thi
ngaf teraday'swor kast he
sightofwhatIgot hroughi snotabeaut i
f ulone.
I'
mi nDur banandI '
m notenj
oyingthisplace
andt heskeletonsofwhatIleftbehindare
foll
owingme.Ichangedmynumberbutt he
trut
hi sIcan'tchangewhatIwentt hroughand
I'
mr emindedev erynightofmypastsi ns.Can'
tI
getthrought hi
snow?
[
05/
02,
18:
54]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose

Chapt
er6

Astheday swentbyIwasget tingwor seandI

wasget ti
ngdeeperi nt
oashel landhad
wit
hdrawal symptoms.Iwasconst antlyshaki
ng
andtheni ghtmareswer eget tingwor se.Iwould
eatbutsomehowt hrowital lup.Ihatedmyj ob
andwant edt odosomet higaboutmyl if
e.
There'
sonl yonethi ngI'
veal way swant edtobe
andthat'sachefbutI '
velosthopeoft hatever
happening.I t
snowmydayof fandIwentt othe
hospit
alandaskst hem tor ecommenda
rehabi l
itationcent ret hatt r
eatsoutpat i
ents.
Theygav emet wonamesofcent rescl oseby
andIwentt ooneoft hem.Iwasner vousasI
hav enev erspokent oany oneaboutmyl if
e.
WhenIgott her eIwasnowshaki ngandIwas
takent oanof ficewher eIhadt oaskaboutt he
progr am' st heyhav e.Ijustdecidedt ot ell
my
whol storybef oreIgetner vousagai nandt he
manwhowast herewascr y i
ngbyt het imeI
fi
nished.Het ol dmet hatJamesmusthav eput
aconcoct ionofdr ugsi nmyweedwhi chiswhy
Iam hav ingt hesewi thdrawal sympt oms.Iwas
referedt oacounsel l
orwhowi l
lhelpwi thwhat
mybr otherdi dandal sot ol
dt hetypeof
progr am Ihav et oat tend.It'
saboutt imeIt ook
backmyl i
feandseei fIcandoi tonmyown.I
thankedt hem andt ookt hebr ochurest heygave
me.Ideci dedt ogoshoppi ngasmostofmy
clothesar eol d.I'
m notext ravagantcozIwant
tosav easmuchasIcan.OnMondayIwentt o
DrKi mbel andt oldhi mt hatIhav efounda
counsel
l
orandhewashappyf
orme.
Ili
veal onelylifeandI '
m scar edofmaki ng
fri
endsasIwantsobadt ochangemyl i
feand
bet hebestt hatIcanbeev ent houghIdon' t
knowhow.If eel li
keI '
vebeenl ivinginacapsul e
andhopeIcanj ustliveandt akechar geof
every t
hingconcer ningmyl i
fe.Thecounsel ling
startedandt her ehabi l
it
at i
onandi tishect i
c.
Ther ear eday swher eIgethomeandj ustdr ink
my selfunt i
lIf allasleepbecauseIr el
iv eeach
andev eryexper ienceIwentt hroughwi th
James.Nowt hedi ffi
cultpar tist el
li
ngmy
fami l
yaboutwhatIwentt hroughandt hetrut h
behindev er
y thing.Idon' tknowi fI'
mr eadyf or
thatsoIt al
kt het het herapistaboutt his.The
fi
rstst epist of or gi
vemy selfformypar ti
nt his
i
ncestandr eal i
zet hatIwasav i
cti
m.Iwas
youngandmybr othermani pulatedme.Ial so
needt oacknowl edget hatwhatIf el
twasn' tl ove
buther owor shippi ng.Thi si saj ourneyandas
muchasIf all somet i
mes, I'
m pr eparedt oseei t
through.I ttooky earstodamagemeandwi ll
takel ongert omendmeasl ongasIhav ea
positiveat ti
t ude.I t
'snoteasycozt heemot i
onal
scarsar edeep.Ist i
llhavenight mar esandi t
hasgot tent oapoi ntwher eI '
m scar edoft he
darkandIst ar tsweat ingjustbef oref all
i
ng
asleep.Iwi shIcant alktomymot herandt ell
herhowIf eel andev engetherhug.Just
thi
nki ngabouthermakesmecr y.Ihav en'tcried
i
nal ongt imeandIj ustl
etital lout.Imi ssmy
familyandt hewar mt hofbei ngathomebutI
thi
nkt hatchapt erofmyl if
ei sclosed.Ican' tgo
backandt het her apistunder standst hatitsa
hugest epf ormeandhonest lyiam notr eadyt o
meetJamesy etandwhoknowshowi willbe
receivedathomeaf terthewayIwas
uncer emoni ousl ychasedaway .FornowIt hinkI
am bet t
erof fal one.
There'
sthi
sladyatt hecentr
ewhoworkst
her
e
andsheisabitolderthanmebutwe
underst
andeachot her.Hernamei
sSanel
eand
west ruckaf ri
endshi p.Ihavet oadmi tthati t
feelsgoodt ohav esomeonet ol aughwi th.We
somet imeshav el unchorcat chamov iebutI
stillcan'topenupt oheraboutmyl ifeandI
pref eritthatway .Threemont hshasgoneand
I'
m sl owl ygetti
ngbackt oshapeandImi ght
hav ehadsl i
pupsbutIhav en'thadadr i
nki na
mont hnow.Ist oppedsmoki ngweedback
homeandhav en' ttouchedi tsincecomi ngher e.
Ev ent hesmel l ofitmakesmebr eaki ntoa
sweatwhenIt hinkofhowhor nyIuseet obe
whenJamesr ol l
edabl untforme.Howcoul d
someonebet hatcr uel andst i
llclaimt ol ove
you?Ev ent othisdayIdon' tknowwher eIgot
thecour agetol eav ebutI '
m happyIdi d.I'mfar
from bei ngnor mal butI'm betterthanIwas
bef oreandIwi llwor khar donr ebui ldingmyl ife.
Todayi smyt her apysessi onandt hisi soneof
thet imeswher eIwi sht hi
swasal lov erasi t
takesmeback.
Therapi
st:
soBanot
ell
mehowdi ditmakeyou
feel
whenJamesmadey ouabor
tyourbaby
?
Me:atfir
stIfel
tnothingbecauseitwasso
unexpectedbutthepainlat
erremindedmet hat
i
twasr ealandthatIhadkil
ledali
v i
ngbeing.
Mydr i
nkinggotworseandIusedt osmoke
onceadaybutnowi tbecameal i
festy
letome.
Ibl
ockedoutallfeel
ingsbecauseIdidn'twant
tobesadast hatwoul dhav
emadeJames
angr
y
Therapi
st:
sodoyouthi
nkwhaty
oudi
dis
wrong?Imeantheabor
ti
on?
Me:abort
iononitsowniswrongandInow
knowthatourrel
ati
onshi
pwaswr ongbutki
l
li
ng
ababyshouldn'
thavebeenourdeci
sion
Therapist
:howdoy
ouf
eel
wheny
ousee
chi
ldren?
Me:Idon'
tfeel
any
thi
ng.Idon'
twantchi
l
drenat
al
l
Ther
api
st:
andwhyi
sthat
?
Me:I.
..
..
Idon'
twantt
hem t
ogot
hroughwhatI
wentt
hrough
Ther
api
st:
youneedt
ofor
giv
eyour
sel
fmychi
l
d
andmoveon.

Bel
iev
emeIwantt
hatt
oobuti
don'
tknowhow
todoit
.
[
05/
02,
18:
54]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose

Chapt
er7

WhenIleftthecentr
eIwant edt
obewi t
h
peopl
einapubl i
cplacesoIwenttothebeach
andfoundkidsplayi
ngbeachsoccerandjoined
them.Iwantedsomet hi
ngtomakemef orget
andnotthinkaboutmylifeandmakemel augh.
Bytheti
mewewer edoneIwasdogt ir
edandI
tookat axihome.Igott hereandt ookabat h
thenwentt osl eep.I '
m usedt ot heni ghtmar es
andwakeupev er ydaycr yi
ng.Ican' twai tforthe
daywhenev ery thingwi l
lbebehi ndmeandIwi ll
bef reeofmypast .Day swentbyandatl east
nowIwasget t
ingusedt othist alkingandev en
maki ngf ri
ends.Thi sdayatwor ki wasbusy
cleaningwhent hi sguywal kedi nandIonl ysaw
hisbackbuthel ookedsomuchl i
keJamest hat
Iscreamedr ightt her eandmycol leagues
rushedt omewhi leIcoi ledint hecor nerand
tryi
ngt or ockmy self.Couldi tbet hatitshim
andt hathehasf oundme?Iwasscar edbey ond
wor dsanddi dn'tknowhowt ot ellev ery
one.
Kimbel tookmet ohi sof fi
ceandgav emea
glassofwat er.Hei sani cemanf ul lof
compassi onandl ov esallhisempl oyees.He
askedmewhatwaswr ongandIf el tli
keIcoul d
trusthim andj ustt oldhi m ever ything.Ithought
Iwoul df eelbetteraf tertal
kingt ohi m butI
didn'tinsteadIf el tempt yandl ost .
Kimbel:thi
sisnott her i
ghtplacefory outo
workmychi ldandIwi llcallmyf r
iendsandsee
i
fwecan' tfi
ndy ouaj obsomewher eel se.You
needtof ur
theryourst udiesthoughcozy ouare
tooyoungt obewast ingawayl i
kethis.Do
somethingabouty ourl i
feandshowt hat
brot
herofy oursthatyouar ebet t
erthatwhathe
didt
oy ou
Me:Iwoul
dappr
eci
atet
hatsi
r.Thanky
ouso
much.

Forthefi
rstti
meIf eltl
ikeprayi
ngandt hanki
ng
theLordbutIdidn'tknowhowt o.Ididn'
tknow
i
fIwaswor t
hytoev enutterawor dtohi m.All
I
knowisthatrightnowatt hisverymomentofI
canbegivenachoi cebetweenami lli
onbucks
andahugIwoul dchooseahug.Icr aveditso
badthatIfel
ttearsthreateni
ngmyey es.It
'sas
i
fmybosscoul dfeelmypr edi
camentandhe
gavemeabearhugandev enr ubbedmyback.I
couldn'thol dbackt het earsandhet oldmet o
neverst opgoi ngf ort her apy.Ahugmaymean
nothingt oot herpeopl ebutt omei tmeansal ot
cozf ory ear sIwentwi thouti t.Inowunder st and
thatwhatIshar edwi thJameswasnotl oveand
fornowIhav enoexpl anationast owhati twas
butitwasf arf r
om l ov eanddamagi ngatt hat .
Kimbel gav emet heaf ternoonof fandIwentt o
thecent re.Ther e'
sal way ssomet hingt odoher e
anditkeepsmymi ndoccupi ed.Thet herapy
sessionsar ei nvasiv eandt heyt akemet ot he
darkestpl aceofmysoul .Thet herapi stexpl ains
thatformet oheal Ineedt or ev i
sitthosepl aces
andt hought sandr elivet hem i nordert oget
peaceandcl ar i
ty.Ther ereallyisnot imef rame
forhealingnordescr ibedpat t
er n.Ithappens
whent hemi ndi sreadyt ol etgooft hechai nsof
bondagef rom t hepast .Iam looki ngatcul i
nar y
schoolsar oundDur banandev enthought hey
areexpensi veIt ellmy selfthatIcansav eunt il
lI
getenoughmoneyf ort hecour se.Day sgoby
andatl eastIcant alkt oKi mbel aboutmyf ears
anddr eamsandt het her apyi sgoi ngwel l
.This
SaturdayIdeci dedtov isitZamaaf t
erwor kand
whenIgott hereshewashav i
ngami nipar ty
.I
mightbewr ongbutt her e'
ssomet hingabout
herthatt ellsmet hatshei snotwhoshesay s
sheisbutt imewi l
ltell.Theyof fermeaci der
andIt urni tdown.Thi si sthemostdi ff
iculttest
butwhensomeonel ight saj oi
ntofweedIj ust
saymygoodby eandl eav e.Wi l
lIev ergetov er
mypast ?Andwi l
lIev ershaket histhingt hat
Jamesdi dt ome?Igott omypl aceandputmy
phoneonpr iv
at eandcal ledmom.Ij ustwantt o
hearherv oiceandmay bet el
lherwhatr eall
y
happened.

Mom:
hel
l
o
Me:
Mom:
hel
l
o
Me:
hehel
hel
l
oma
Mom: whoi
sthi
s?Pl
easespeakupasIcannot
heary
ou
Me:it
'smemom Banoy
olo.Ij
ustwant
edt
o
hearyourv
oice
Mom:ohmychil
dhowar
eyounanaandwher
e
ar
eyoumyangel

Thetearswer et hreateni
ngmyey esagai nandI
hadal umponmyt hroat
.Bef or
eIcoul danswer
Iheardmydadr eprimandingmom f orspeaki ng
tomeandt hel i
newentdead.Icoul dn'
tr emov e
thephonef rom myearasi fwaiti
ngf ormom t o
saysomet hing,any thi
ngthatwi l
lmakemef eel
bett
erinsteadt herewassi lence.Ijustlett he
tear
sfallanddi dn'tstopthem.I twasmyhear t
thanwascr yingandt hepainofbei ngal oneand
l
onelyisgettingt omemostoft het i
mel olri
ght
now.Idon'tev enknowwhenIf ellasleepbutI
wokeupt hef ollowingdayandgotr eadyf or
wor k.I'm ear l
yasusual andIwast hef i
rstto
gett owor k.Imoppedt hef l
oorsandmakesur e
thet ableswer edust edandawat erbot tl
ei sI
topofKi mbel 'sdesk.It ookoutt hedi sposabl e
bedcov ersandl ai
dt hem ont hebedt hent he
other sarrived.Nor mal l
yt hedoct orarrivesat
8:30butt odayi twasn' ttobe.Wewai tedand
wai tedandev entr
iedhi snumberbuti twent
straighttov oicemail.At9: 30wewer eal lget t
ing
wor riedandauntBongi from recept i
oncal led
hishomet of indouti fhei salri
ghtandshewas
toldt hatthegooddoct orwasi nvolvedi na
gruesomecaracci dentl astnightthatr esulted
i
nhi sunt imel ydeat h.Ohno, asmuchast hisis
dev astati
ngf orthef ami ly
,it
'salsobadf orusas
wear eleftwi thnoj obs.Thi sisacr uel wor l
dwe
l
ivei nandsomet imesIwonderi fIwi l
l everget
abr eak.
[
05/
02,
18:
54]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose
Chapt
er8

Thishast obet hewor stnewsev erandIhad

l
ear nttoopenupt othismanandt alktohim
aboutev er yt
hing.Wepackedhi st hingsand
didn'tknowwhet hert ocont inuewor ki
ngorgo
home.Ar ound11amancamet ogetal lhi
s
personal belongingsandkey sfort heplace.He
toldust hatwewi llgetthreemont hssal arybut
weneedt olookf orjobs.It'sthebegi nningof
Nov emberandev erybodyknowsj usthow
diff
icultitistof i
ndaj obt hist i
meoft heyear.I
wentbackt omypl aceandj ustcol lapsedon
thebed.Iwashur tbutmostofal lIwasscar ed
ofwhatt hef ut
urehol ds.Ist artedl ookingfora
j
obbuti tlookedl i
kenoonei shir
ingatt hi
st i
me.
OnSat urdayweat t
endedKi mbel 'sf uneraland
whatamov i
ngcer emonyi tis.IfIat tend
anot herceremonyi twi l
lbet oosoon.Mont h
endwegotourpaybuti twasn' tthreemont hs
butIwasr elievedthatwegotsomet hi
ng.Istil
l
got othecent rebutmostofmyt imeisspent
l
ooki ngf orajob.Mi dDecemberIgotdesper ate
nowandt i
mei snotonmysi de.Itri
ed
everythingbutIcoul dn'
tgetanyj ob.Ispent
Chr i
stmasal oneandbynowIwasget ti
ng
deeperi ntomyownshel l
.JanuaryIstarted
againandst i
llnojob.AttheendofMar chIwas
comi ngbackf rom lookingforajobwhenIsaw
myt hingsout side.Ihir
edabakki eandt ookmy
furni
turet oasecondhandshopandsol dthem
therethenwett oZama' splace.Shewel comed
mewi thopenar msandIhav ehermoneyf or
grocery.Shesuggest edthatwehi ttheshops
ri
ghtawayandbuyf ood.ThatnightIcookedf or
usandweat e.

Me:Zamamybossdi edi
nNov emberandI'
m
l
ookingforajob.I
fyouknowany onewhocan
hel
ppleaseletmeknow.Ev eni
ftheyneeda
cl
eaneratthebankIwil
ltakeit
Zama: Il
iedtoyouBano.Idon'
twor
katthe
bank.Ineverpassedmatri
candwhenIcoul
dn'
t
fi
ndaj obsomef ri
endsi
ntr
oducedmetothe
demandandsuppl ybusi
ness
Me:sowhatareyousuppl
yi
ng?Iwoul
dal
so
l
ovetoj
oinyouguys
Zama:wesuppl
ypl
easur
etocl
i
ent
swhoar
e
wil
l
ingt
opay

Okt hisi
sv agueandIdon' tknowifIunderstand
thi
st ypeofpr ofession.Whenshet ol
dmet hat
shei sahighendpr ostit
uteInear
lychokedon
myf ood.Whati shighendandwhatdi ffer
ence
i
sitf rom st
reethooker s?IfIhadanother
alt
ernativ
epl aceIwoul dgoandsl eeptherebut
thi
si snotmyi dealsetup.

Zama:sowil
lyouj
oinus?Youarebeaut
if
ul
Banoandyouhaveabeauti
ful
body.Youwil
l
makeaki
l
li
ng
Me:l
etmethinkabouti
tbutIdon'
tthi
nkIcan
doi
t.Sexj
ustgiv
esmeni ght
mares

Shel ookedatmeandl aughed.I '

m notgoi ngt o
makeherunder standbutt hist y
peofbusi ness
sheisi nisnotf orme.Any thingelsebutt his.
Wef inishedeat i
ngandshel eftforhershi ft.I
needt of i
ndaj obasapandgetoutofher e.I t
's
nowJuneandIst il
lhaven'tfoundaj ob.I'
llbe
turni
ng21i namont handI 'm beingdesper ate
now.Ihav enomoneyandZamai sget t
ing
i
mpat i
entwi t
hme.Att hecor nerofourf lat
thereisamanwhosel lscigar et
tesandsweet s.
Heal sosel l
sweedsoi boughtapacketwi thmy
l
astmoneyandt oldZamat hatIwi llj
ointhem.
Shegav emeast iffshot,apacketofcondoms
andIal sosmokedmyweedt henwel eft
.We
wentt oacl ubandsoonguy sappr oachedus
andIgotmyf i
rstcl i
ent.Ther uleistoser vice
onecl i
entf ortheni ght.Theguyboughtme
dri
nksunt illmidnightandbyt het i
mewegott o
hishouseIwaspoepdr unk.Het ookmebackt o
myf l
atint heMor ningandt hef i
rstthingIdid
wastoscr ubmy selfclean.Idon'tknowhow
manybedsIsl eptonorhowmuchIwas
dri
nkingorsmoki ngbutIkeptt hemoneyand
savedmostofi t.Ihav en'
tstoppedl ookingfora
j
ob.Thi sdayi t
'saFr i
dayandI '
m att heclubas
usual.IchangedmynamewhenIst artedthis
"j
ob"andI 'm nowknownasRush.I tdidnttake
l
ongt ogetacl ientbutt hi
sonedi dn'tbuyme
dri
nksbutwant edust ogot ohisplace
i
mmedi ately.It
'sabeaut i
fulhouseatKl oofand
heshowsmewher et hebathroom i sandgav e
mear obe.It ookashowert henwor et herobe
andjoinedhi m.

Hi
m:mynamei
sSanel
eSi
biy
awhat
'
syour
s
Me:
Iam RushNy
athi
Sanel
e:Iwanty
ourr
eal
namepl
ease
Me:
Banoy
oloNy
athi
Hi
m:wel
lYol
owoul
dyoul
i
kesomet
hingt
oeat
?
Me:nosi
rbuti
fyouhav
esomet
hingt
odr
inkI
woul
d'
veit
Sanel
e:whydoy
ouwantt
ogetdr
unk?Am It
hat
ugl
y?

Ilookeddownashewoul dn'tunderstandev enif

Itellhim,besidesIdon' twantt otalkabout
my self.Wet alkedf orawhi l
ejustwat chingtv.I
am ner vousandscar edandIcan' tdot hisifI'
m
sober .Ineedt odr inkort hisguywi l
lbei n
tr
oubl e.Wewenti ntobedandhej ustkissedme
ont hef oreheadandf ellasleep.May behei s
oneoft hosethatl ikemor ni
ngglory.Idecided
tosleepaswel lbutmyni ghtmaresi nvadedmy
peace.
Sanel
e:Yol
owakeup,
youar
ecr
ying
Me:
ohIt
hinki
hadabaddr
eam
Sanel
e:y
ouar
est
il
lshaki
ng

OhmyGodi t'shappeningrightinfr
ontofa
strangerorratheracl
ient.Icouldn'
tholdt
he
tearsandjustcr i
edri
ghtthereont hebed.He
heldmeandr ockedmeunt i
llIf
eltok.

Sanel
e:what
'seat
ingy
ouupYol
o?

Idon'
tknowwhybutIjustt
oldhim everyt
hing
andariveroft
ear
sjustf
ell
from hi
sey es.He
stoodupandwenttothebathr
oom thencame
back.

Sanel
e:I
'v
ebeenwatchi
ngy ouandIreal
ised
thatt
her
eissomet
hingdif
ferentabouty
ou.
Unlikeot
hergir
lswhogetexci t
edbyacli
enty
ou
tenseanddrinkalotsothatbythetimey
ou
l
eav eyouaresodrunk.Didyougof or
counsell
i
ngforwhaty oubrotherdi
d?
Me:IdidbutIstoppedwhenIcouldn'
tgetajob.
Il
osthopei never
ythi
ngexceptmydream t
obe
achef.I
'm savi
ngforthatandIwon'
tstopunti
ll
Iam one
Sanel
e:t
ryt
osl
eepwewi
l
ltal
kint
hemor
ning

Forthefir
sttimeinfourmonthsIsleptsober
andIdidn'thavesexwithastranger
.Ifel
tali
ve
andIwant edtoscream ontopofmyl ungs.
Saneledidn'
twanttosleepwithmebutwant ed
rogettoknowme.Thef ol
lowingmor ni
nghe
madebr eakfastandaft
erwehav eeatenItook
ashowert henhegav emear espectabl
edress
towear.ItwasnewandIdon' tknowwher ehe
boughtit.
Sanel
e:Iwoul
dli
ketohel
py ouwi
thy
our
st
udiesbutononecondi
ti
on
Me:
whatcondi
ti
on
Sanel
e:y
ouhavet
ostopwhaty
ouar
edoi
ng
andgobackt
ocounsel
l
ing.
Me:
okIwi
l
lst
opr
ightaway
Sanel
e: Iwi
ll
findyoutempor
aryworkatt
hesi
te
Iworkin.Youjustpr
omisemet haty
ouwil
l
focus
Me:
thanky
ousomuchsi
r

Isentacl umsyt hankyouprayertotheLord

becauset hisisnotwhatIwant edinthefir
st
place.Afteracount l
essonenightstandsand
facelesscustomer sIam f
inal
lyleavi
ngthis
profession.Howmanydoor shav eIknockedon
l
ooki ngforaj ob,anyj
obsoIcanl eavethisone
amdnowi tcomesknockingwhi l
eIwasn'teven
l
ooki ng.
[
05/
02,
18:
54]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose

Chapt
er9

Ift herewasany t
hi ngI '
veev erwant edi nmyl if
e
rightnow, Ithi
nkit'sapr ayer.Ir ememberback
atschool whentheheadmi stresswoul dsaya
pr ay erev eryWednesdaymor ningandInev er
tookherser i
ously.Sheal way slookedsohappy
andIwi shIknewwhati twast hatmadeher
happy .OnedayIgat heredenoughst r
engt hto
askherandshet oldmet hatherf ai
thi sthe
onl yt hi
ngmaki ngherhappy .RightnowIj ust
hopeagai nsthopet hatIhadt hatFai t
ht hatshe
had.Iwi shIcoul dj ustsayal it
tlepray erjustto
sayt hanky ouandaskf orst rengt htof i
ghtmy
demons.Thet r
uthi st hatrightnowi wantt o
bel ieveinsomet hingst rongert hanj ustbooze
andweed.IknowIam bey ondr edempt ionbutI
wi llwor khar dtobewhoIwantt obe.Heshook
myar m andwhenIl ookedupIr eal
isedthat
he'sbeentalki
ngtomef orawhileandI'
v ebeen
drowninginmyt houghts.It
'sonlywheny ou
havelivedandwer epartofmyl i
fethaty
ouwi ll
understandwhatIam goi ngthr
ough.I'
m empt y
i
nsideandf eell
ikeashadowofwhoIusedt o
be.

Sanel
e:ar
eyouokYol
o?
Me: I
'mfi
nesir,
thankyou.It
'sjustthatIcan't
beli
evet
hatpeopleli
keyoust i
llexist
.Iwantso
badtomakei ti
nmyl i
fethatIendedupdoi ng
somethi
ngIthoughtIwouldnev erdo.Thisi s
whyIneedtopr ov
eittomy selfthatIam better
thanwhatI'
vebeenreducedt o

Helookedatmewi theyesful
lofemoti
onthatI
cannoti
nter
pretthenhehuggedme.Theki nd
ofhugthatsayrelax,ever
ythi
ngwil
lbefi
ne
fr
om nowonwar ds.Ev eni
fthehugwasempt y
i
twoul dhav emeantsomuchmor etome.We
satt her etalkingunt il
l myphoner ang.Itwas
Zamaandshewant edt of i
ndouti fIwassaf e.I
toldherIwasonandt hatI'
m onmyway .Sanele
toldmet of etchmyhandbagandhet ookme
home.Weexchangednumber sandhet oldme
thathewoul dgi v
emeacal l
.Iwentupt othe
fl
atandt hel adieswer edrinking.Theyknow
thati don' tdr i
nkdur ingt hedaycozIj obhunt .
Ev ent odayIchangedf rom thesummerdr ess
i
nt osomet hingal it
tlef ormal fortheirbenef i
t
andwentt ot hecent re.Theywer esohappyt o
seemeanddi dn'
taskmemuchaboutmy
disappear ancebutappr eciatedt hatIcame
back.Iwor kedoutapr ogrammewi t
hmy
ther apistthenwentt oj oi
nt hegr oupout sidein
theirv ariousact i
vit
ies.Iwentbackt ot heflati
n
theaf ternoonandt ookanap.Idon' tknowhow
I'
m goi ngt oletZamaknowt hatI'm quitti
ngour
tradebutIhav etoifIwantSanel et otrustme.
Thi nkingofhi m hecal l
edandt oldmet opack
mybagf orafewdayandsaidhewi l
lfetchme
at6.Iwenttotakeashowert
henchangedi nt
o
ashortsandvestandworefl
atsandals.I
packedabagt henwentt
ojoi
nZama.

Me:heyZeethecl
ientfr
om l
astnightwant
sme
toaccompanyhi
mt oJoburgforafewdaysso
heisfet
chi
ngmeat6: 00.
Zama:t
henwhyaren'
tyoudr
essedanddoyou
wantmetohel
pyouwithmakeupandwig?
Me: nodon'
tworr
y.Iwil
ldothatwhenwegetto
hishousecozhesaidhehasanoutfi
tpi
ckedup
forme
Zama:don'tgetat
tachedtothisguy.
Remembert hatheisjustacli
entandnot
hing
more.Peopleli
kethatdon'tf
allf
orussotr
eat
hi
m asaclientandmi l
khimf orhi
smoney
Me:
Iwi
l
ldot
hat
Zama:
Ist
il
ldon'
tknowwhyy
ousav
ingf
or
schoolt
houghcozthi
sbusinesshasmoney
andyoushoul
dbedoingabr azi
ĺl
i
anandbuyi
ng
expensi
vecl
othesi
nsteadofthi
s.

OkZamai soneoft hosegi r

lswhopr efer
ri
diculousl yexpensiv egownsandshoesand
hasa22i nchBr azi
li
anwi thfakelashesandt he
l
ongestnai l
s.Sheget spai dal otbutspendsit
ondr ugs.Theyhav est artedt omessher
beautifulfaceandnowshewear sheavymake-
up.Sheev enhadacaratonepoi ntbutcrashed
i
t.Shegav emeal i
felinet houghbyopeni ngher
fl
attomeandIam gr at eful f
orthat.Sanele
call
edt osayhei sdownst ai
rsandIt ookmybag
andlef t
.Hedr ovetohi shouseandwewenti n.I
thoughthewoul dwantt ogooutbuthesai dhe
wantedt ost ayintoday .Iof feredtocookf or
him andgoogl edaf ewr ecipesandt ri
edthem.I
cookedl egofl amb, sav our ymashedpot atoes
andgr il
ledv eggies.Ilai dt hetableanddished
outforus.Pr esentationi skeywheny ouare
di
shi
ngoutforsomeoneandImadesureI
makeamark.Thesmilesai
dital
landwesat
downandat
e.

Sanel
e:wowYoloIhavetosayI
'
mimpr
essed.
Thi
sisgoodandIunderst
andwhyy
ouwantto
beachef.
Me:thankyou.Ilearntt
ocookatschoolasan
ext
racurri
culum andIenjoy
edit
.Thisi
swhyI
madeadeci sionbackthentobeachef
Sanel
e:andy
ouwi
l
lmyangel

Wefini
shedeat
ingt
henwebot
hcl
eanedupand
wenttowatcht
v.
Me:I'
vet
oldy
ouev
ery
thi
ngaboutmebutIdon'
t
knowyou
Sanele:I
'mthefi
rstbornathomewithtwo
youngerbrot
hersandt wosi
ster
s.Iam f
rom
Richard'
sbay,34yearsol
dandIam aresident
engi
neeratI
li
soconsult
ing.I
'
m cur
rent
ly
i
nvol
vedintheconst
ructi
onofUmngeniviaduct
.
Me:wow,t
hisi
swhyyouhav
esuchabeauti
ful
andbi
ghouseandhowi
syourf
amil
yli
ke?
Sanel
e:Italktothem al
ltheti
meespecial
lymy
mothercozsheal wayswantstoknowi fI
'm ok
orwhetherIhaveeaten.I'
vefal
lenoutwit
hmy
dadtwoy earsagosoi hardl
ygohomeunl essI
haveto.I
t'
sal ongstory
Me:IwishIcanhavearel
ati
onshipwit
hmy
mom butmyf at
herwontal
lowit.It
ri
edcall
ing
herandwhil
ewewer ebusytal
ki
nghedr opped
thephone.
Sanele:
theywil
lcomearoundoncet
heyseethe
changeinyou.Youneedtofor
giv
eyour
sel
fand
tr
ytobehappy
Me:
Ipr
omi
sei
wil
ldoj
ustt
hat

Wet
alkedf
orawhi
l
ethenwewentt
osl
eep.He
kissedmebef or
egoi ngtosl eepandputmy
headonhi schestunt il
lwef ellasleep.The
foll
owingdayi saSundayandwewentt o
ushakamar i
newor ldforaf unfil
leddayandt o
behonestt hisisthefir
sttimei nthi splaceand
wehadf un.Wet henhadl atelunchatMoy oand
wentback.Coul ditbet hatthisist hebeginning
ofachangei nmyl i
fe?Ineedhappi nesstoo
andIbel i
evethatIdeser veit.Thanky ouSotobe
forseeingsomet hingwor thwhileinme
[
05/
02,
18:
54]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose

Chapt
er10

Thefoll
owingdayhegotupear l
yandleftfor
work.Hetoldmethathewi l
lspeakf
ortohi s
coll
eaguesandcomebackt ome.Whol eavesa
str
angerinsuchabeaut
ifulhousewith
expensi
veartef
act
s?Thisguymustr eal
lytrust
meandIneedt odoeverythi
nginmypowert o
bettermyl i
fe.Icleanedhishouseandwat ched
tv.Ireall
yhavenot hingbettertodoatThe
moment .Idecidedtogot ot ownandcheck
culinaryschoolsont heinternetcaf
eandpr int
outappl i
cati
onf ormsi fIhaveto.Ifoundthree
schoolsandpr intedt hebrochuresandforms.I
wentt ogetthet axiandbef oreIcouldcrossthe
streetIheardsomeonecal lme.

RUSH!
!!
!!

Itur
nedandsawoneofmypr
evi
ouscust
omer
s
andhewantedmynumber
.

Me: youwil
lhavetofor
giv
emesircozIhav
e
stoppeddoingthatj
ob.If
oundamore
respectf
ulandhonestj
ob
Him:wowIcan'
tl
ieandsayI
'
m notsadbythe
newscozyouar
eonehotwomanbutI'm pr
oud
ofy
ouRush
Me:
thanky
ou

Istartedsweat i
ngwhenIr eali
sedt hatImight
beleav i
ngt hel i
febehindbutmemor ieswil
l
alway sbet hereandt herewi l
l bepeoplewho
alway sremi ndmeoft hedar kplaceIwasonce
i
n.It ookat axi backtohi splaceandst art
ed
dinner.TryasImi ghtbutmydemonswi l
l
alway sfoll
owme.If inishedcooki ngthentooka
showerandwai tedforhi mtocomeback.He
camebackaf ter6andwentt otakeashower .I
war medt hef oodandwhenhecamebackIl aid
thetableanddi shedup.

Me:
howwasy
ourday
?
Sanel
e: i
twasali
tt
lebusybutIenj
oyedever
y
minuteofit
.Howwasy our
s?Ihopey oudi
dn'
t
getboredhere
Itol
dhim whathappenedandt
heguywho
recogni
sedmeint own.

Sanele:therewi l
lal
waysbepeopl ewho
recognisey ouortrytodiscourageyoufor
taki
ngt hisdecisi
onbuty ouneedt ohol
dyour
headhi ghcozy ouknowwhyy oudidi
tandyou
didn'
tthinkt wi
ceaboutleav i
ngwhen
opportunitypresentedi
tself
Me:
thanky
ousomuch

Whenwef inishedeati
ngwelookedatt
he
brochur
esandf il
ledoutthef
orms.Het
oldme
toputthem onhislaptopbagandhewould
scanande-mai lt
hem whenhegetstowork.

Sanel
e:youwi
llstar
tworkonMondayatthe
si
tebecauser
ightnowtheyar
ebusywit
ht he
offi
ces.Youwi llbewor ki
ngast heengineers
admi nclerk.Idon' tknowwhatt hatent ail
sat
themomentbutwewi ll f
iguret hatouton
Monday .Mycol leaguewi llshowy ouwhaty ou
needt odo.Ii ronedhi scl othesf orthef ol
lowi
ng
daywhi l
ehepol ishedhi swor kboot s.Wewent
tosleepandt odayhel ooksl ikehehasot her
plansthanj ustsl eep.Hest artedkissingmeand
thekissgoti ntense.Idon' tknowwhenl astI
hadsexsoberandI 'm notsur ei fIcandoi tso
heur gesmet okeepey econt act .Whenhe
sensest hatIam t ensehest ops.

Sanele:I'
m notgoingany whereandIwantyou
tobecomf ort
ableenought omakelovewit
hme
sober.Idon'twanty outoeverint
oxi
cate
yourselft
odr owny ourworri
es.Doitf
orfunand
torelaxbutnev ert
obedr unk.Idon'
tknowwhy
buttruthisIloveyouwoman
Ididn'
tknowwhatt odosoIj usthuggedhi m.
Wef ellasleepi neachot her
'sarmsandIhada
dream thatJameswast her
edoi nghi sfeti
shes
onmeandt hisonewassobadt hathel ethis
armyoff r
iendshav ethei
rwaywi thmewhi lehe
sattherewat ching.Theywer efisti
ngand
i
nser t
ingobj ectsinmeaf t
erhav ingtheirway.I
wascr yingbuti tseemsasi ftheyarei mmune
tomycr i
es.

Yol
o!Yol
owakeup

Icouldhearsomeonecal
l
ingmynamebutI
didn'
tknowwhoitwasorwherehewascal
li
ng
fr
om.Hi svoi
cewaswhatIneededasi
tbr
ought
hope.

Yol
owakeupbaby
Iwokeupwithast
artandIwassweat
ingand
shaki
ng.Hehel
dmei nhi
sarmsandrockedme.

Sanele:youwerecry
ingasi
fyouwerei
npai
n
anditlookedl
ikeyouweref
ight
ing
Me:
hewasl
aughi
ngwhi
l
ehi
sfr
iendsr
apedme
Sanele:i
twasonlyadr eam Yolo.Hewon't
touchyounowt hatIam here.Iwil
lpr
otectyou
witheveryt
hingIhave

Myonl yprayeri
st ogetpastallthisandbef ree
ofmyemot i
onal bondagesoi canbewi ththis
manandl ovehi m asmuchashel ov esme.I
won'tfor
ceitbutIknowi twil
lhappencozI
haveFaithinusandi nme.Wet alkedunt i
llIfel
l
asl
eepandweov ersl
ept.Iwokebef or ehi
m and
hewassl eepingsocomf or
tabl
ebutt i
mei s
agai
nsthim soi wokehi m upandhel pedhim
getready.ThisisanewdayandIhopei tbrings
changeandpeace.
[
05/
02,
18:
54]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose

Chapt
er12

Ifel
tashar
ppainwhenhi
smot
hersai
dthat
anditwasali
tt
lef
orei
gnt
ome
I'
m notsur ewhereIst andwi thSot obeany mor e
andIwoul dn'twanttost artfeeli
ngnowt hat
thi
sdammi ngtrut
hisr ev eal
ed.Idi dn'tknow
whet herIwantedtolistenany moret othisbut
forsomer easonIwaspar al
ysed.Theycoul dbe
tal
kingsof t
lybuti
tseemedl iket heywant edme
tohearwhatwasbei ngsai despeci allyhis
mot herandlikeagoodl i
ttl
ef arm gir
l Ipulleda
kit
chenst oolandsatdown.Mypot sar ef i
nally
readyandI '
m waiti
ngf orwor ldwarZt oendat
thesitti
ngroom.Icoul ddowi thagl assofwi ne
butinsteadIpourmy sel faglassofi cewat er
.
Sanel
ekeptqui
etwhenhi
smom ment
ionedt
he
wif
ebutshewasn'
tdonewit
hhi
m.

Mom: I'
mt al
kingtoy ouSanele.Whatabout
yourpoorwife?Shei sfai
thf
ullywait
ingf
oryou
backhomewi t
hy ourkidandallyoucandois
tel
lmet haty
oul oveanothergirl
Sanele: di
ddadt el
lyouwhyIl efthomeand
nevercameback?Inev erwant edthatwoman
tostartwi t
handdadknewt hatshewasi nl
ove
wit
hMusabutnoheshov edhert ome
nevertheless.I
t'
shighti
medadaccept st
hathe
i
snott hekingandmustnotf orcet hese
pri
mitivelawsonme.
Mom: t
hisangerwill
nothelpyoumychi l
d.You
needtol
earntolovey ourwi
feother
wiseyour
fat
herwil
ldi
sinher
ityouandgiveevery
thi
ngto
Musa
Me:doyouthi
nkIcar
eabouthi
sinher
it
ance?I
t
ri
edtobethegoodsonandlov
ethatGod
for
sakenbit
chfrom he'
llbutshewarmedeach
andeverybedshecouldandnowy out ell
me
aboutmyson?It r
iedtosleepwit
hherand
endedupinjai
lforaweekf oratt
empt edr ape
butInevert
oldyouanyoft hi
s.AskMusawhy
hedumpedherandmay bedadknowst he
fat
herofherchi
ldashemar r
iedherforme.

Icontinuedt osi ponmywat erreali

singt hati
ts
mor erefreshingt hant hebat tl
eofwor ds
happeningi ntheot herr oom.It hi
nkIhav e
heardenoughandbestt hi ngformet odonow
i
st otakeawal kint hebacky ard.Idon' tknow
whyt henewsofSanel e'smar ri
agesuddenl y
sentashar ppai nthr oughmyhear t.Coul ditbe
thatIfeel somet hingf ort hedel ectableengineer?
Forsomer easont hisr ealisati
onbr oughtt ears
tomyey esandasmuchasIdi dn'twantt ocryI
j
ustcoul dn'thelpi t.Ther e'sal i
ttl
ebushnotf ar
from theswi mmi ngpool andIwentt hereand
satdown.Iwant edsomepeaceandqui etand
tobeal
onewithmyt hought
s.Idon'
twantt
ogo
backt
oRushbutIal sodon'
twanttobea
homewrecker
.AllIknowist
hatri
ghtnowIneed
ahugandnotjustanybuthi
shug.

Yol
o!!
!Babe!
!!Youseewhaty
ouhav
edone
mom?

Iwi
pedmyt ear
sandstoodup.Whenhesaw
meherushedtomeandgav emeabearhug.
Wesatonthepoolchai
rwit
hhisar
m ar
ound
mywaist
.

Sanel e:I'
m sor
ryyouhadt ohearthatbabe.
Tr uthisIam tr
aditi
onal
lymar r
iedtothi
swoman
thatInev erlov
ed.Dadt hi
nkshewi l
lbethenext
kingsi nceourkinghasnoki dsandheisthe
chi efi
nourcommuni t
y.Iam thefi
rstsonsohe
treatsmel i
keabloodyPrinceandevenmar r
ied
Zaneleformesincesheisf r
om a"r
espectabl
e"
family
.Sheismybr other
'sexgi
rl
fr
iendandhas
sleptwit
hMusa, ThaboandShakarighthereon
myhouse.Ev er
yonethoughtshewasanangel
expectMusaandI .
Me:butMusaisy
ourbrot
hersowhydi
dyour
f
athermar
ryyoutohi
sgir
lfr
iend?
Sanel
e:Idon'
tknowandIdon'tcarebutaf
ter
fourmonthsoftr
yingIst
oppedsleepi
ngwith
herbecauseofherwaywardwaysanday ear
l
atershegavebir
thtomysupposedson.

Imaynothav ebeengoodi nmat hbutthis

calculat
ionshowscl earl
ywellthatheisnott he
fatherunlessitwasanabnor mal pregnancy.I
under st
andt hought hati
nsomear east hi
s
arrangesmar r
iagethingissti
llthenorm butI
can'timaginehi m withanarrangedwi fe.Well
i
t'stimet ojointheolderladysowewentback
andIsett het ablethenputthef oodinserving
bowl sandaskedt hem toj oi
nmei nt hedi ning
room.I twascl earasday l
i
ghtthatt hequeen
doesnotr eallylovemebutshewast ryingt o
smi l
ej ustf orherson' ssake.Hal fwayt hrough
meal thought heicemel tedandshest ar t
ed
talki
ngl i
keal lofusmor talsandweenj oyedt he
meal .Wef inishedt hefoodi nalight ermood
thenIcl eanedupandwashedt hedi shes.Iwent
toputnewsheet sintheguestbedr oom asper
Sanel e'sinstruct i
onofcoz.WhenIwasdoneI
didn'tknowwhet hertogobackandwat cht .
v.
wi t
ht hem.Bef oreIcouldmakeadeci sion
Sanel ecamei nandi nvit
edmet ocomeand
wat cht vwi tht hem.Al licansayist hatbyt he
ti
mewewentt obed, mycheekswer epai nful
from al lthatf akesmi l
ing.Iwasner voust hatI
woul dsayt hewr ongthingandendup
i
nf uri
at i
ngt hemi ghtyMr sSibiy
a.Wewentt o
sleepandIdi dn'thaveanyni ghtmar es.Wow
thisist het hi
r ddayi nar owandt hisf eel sso
good.Hewokemeupar oundf ouri nt he
mor ni
ngwi tht hesweet estkissever.Idon't
knowwhatIhav edonet odeservethisbutthe
kissturnedi ntosomet hingdeeper,somet hi
ng
delici
ouslyhungr ythatIf oundmy self
respondingt ot hissweetescape.Theemot ion
fi
lled,f
undr ivenandl ovei nf
usedlovemaki ng
l
ef tusdrippingwi t
hsweatandsupert i
red.I
think.
..
..
no, IknowIenj oy editcozIdidn'
tthink
aboutitbutwej ustdidit.Iguessit'
ssaf etosay
Iam happy
[
05/
02,
18:
54]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose

Chapt
er11

Thefol
lowi
ngdayIstayedindoorsandleaked
mywounds.Ineedtogetov ermyfearof
Jamesandmov eIwithmylife.I
'
m giv
inghim
toomuchpowerifhecanhav eaholdonme
evenwhenheisnotaround.Dayswentbyand
onFri
dayhetookmeoutshoppi ngatGateway
mal l.Hewant smet olookgoodi nf r
ontofhi s
colleaguesIguess.Whenev erIgooutwi thhi m
Itryt obepr esentable.I'm weari
ngbl uej eans,
whit etankt op,greenj acketandgr eenst rapless
heel s.Isti
llgetner v
ouswhenIwal kwi thhi m
cozIdon' tknowi fpeopl ewon'trecogni seme.
Sanel eont heot hersidei sasrelaxedasev er
andi sevenhol di
ngmyhand.IknowIam l ucky
tohav ethismanbymysi deandIpl ant onev er
disappoi nthim.Wedi dourshoppi ngfrom
shoes, cl
othes,li
nger i
eandcosmet i
cs.Het hen
boughtmeBr ownBr onxboot sforwor kt henwe
wentt ohav edinneraf terdumpingourshoppi ng
i
nhi scar .Wewer egi venat abl
ef ortwoand
whileheor deredr edwi neIchosewat er.We
wer ebusywi thourdi nnerwhenIhear d
someonecal lme.

RUSH!
!!
Il
ift
edmyheadonl
ytoseet
hisguysmil
ing
fr
om eart
oear
.Mywordthi
sisnothappeni
ng.

Him:r
ushisthatyou?Youl ooksoawesome
wit
houtyourwig.Shorthai
rsuit
syougir
l.CanI
haveyournumber?Ireall
ymissyou
Me:pl
easef
orgi
vemebutIl
eftt
hatbusi
ness
andIf
ounda9to5job.
Hi
m: you'
reki
ddi
ngright
?Doyouknowhow
muchmoneyy oucanmakenowthatthef
est
ive
i
saroundthecorner
?
Me:Iknowbutt
hisiswhatIwantandi
twi
l
l
hel
pmypersonaldevel
opment
Him:Idon'
tbel
ievethi
s.Soyouwerenotly
ing
whenyousaidthiswastemporar
yforyou?
Goodluck.Her
e'smynumberifyouchange
yourmind
Me:thankyoubutIwon'
tchangemymi
nd.I
f
youwill
excuseus,t
hisi
smymanandit
srude
t
oent
ert
ainanot
hermani
nfr
ontofhi
m
Hi
m:nowaybro.Youl
ookli
keadecentmanso
whywoul
dyouchooseahooker
foragi
rl
fr
iend?
Sanele:I
'srat
herbewitht
heoneIknowher
pastthanawomanwhopl ay
ssai
ntwhil
e
screwingyourfr
iends.

Hel
eftourt
abl
eandIaskedt
hatweshoul
d
l
eav
eandeatathome.

Sanel
e: andtheni fweseeanot heronewho
knowsy ouatt hepar ki
nglotarewegoi ngto
walkbackt other estaur
ant?It'
sti
mef orusto
facethewor l
dast hi
swon'tgoawayi fwekeep
runni
ng.Rushi siny ourpastandpeopleare
alwaysgoingtor ecogniseyoubutitwilldi
e
downsoon.Ihonest lydonotknowwhathe
seesonmebuti am happyt hathedidcozhe
malesmehappy .Theybr oughtourfoodandwe
ate.Sanel
eisaromanti
cguyandhedoesn't
mindkissi
ngmei nfr
ontofev
eryone.We
fi
nishedourfoodandhesett
ledthebi
ll
thenwe
l
eft.
Il
ikethathedoesn'twantmet ohideandi t
helpsmet obui
ldmyconf idenceinaway .We
gothomeandj ustwatchedt v.Thef ol
l
owi ng
dayhet ookmetot hesal
oont odomyhai rand
nail
sthentotheflatt
ofetchmyt hingsand
Zamawasst il
lsleepi
ng.Ipackedmybagst hen
wokeherup.
Zama:heyRushit
'sbeenawhil
e.Ihopey
ouar e
goodandthatt
heguypaidyouwell
.Youlook
goodbytheway
Me:
thankyouZee.Act
uall
yI'
mleav
ing.Hegot
meajobandIwil
lbestar
ti
ngonMonday
Zama:don'
tbeafoolgal
cozy
ouwi
l
lmakeal
ot
ofmoneyinthi
sbusi
ness
Me: i
t'
smydecisi
onandIwantt
ogobackt
o
schoolnexty
earsoineedt
odothi
s
Zama: stopbuil
dingcastl
esintheair
.YouandI
knowt hattheguyisjustaf
teryourassand
whenitcomesdownt oowninguphewould
neverchoosey ou
Me: t
hat
'smychancet
otakeZee.Thanksfor
every
thi
ngmyfri
endandnowil
ltakeitf
rom
here.
Shel ookedatmel i
keshewasdi sgustedbymy
choicet hengav emeasar casti
cl augh.Isimple
tookmybagsandl eft
.Sanel eisleaningout si
de
hiscarandhel ooksgoodi nshor tsthough.We
drovehomet henpassedt heshop' sandbought
af ewt hingsfort hekitchen.Whenwegothome
Iunpackedmyt hingsthenwentt ost artdi
nner
whi l
ehewentt ohav eaf ewdr i
nkswi thhis
fri
endsatal ocal pub.Ican' tsayI '
mi nlovewi t
h
him butI '
m mor ecomf ortablewi thhimt hese
day sthatIev enmi sshim whenhei satwor k.I
don'tknowi fit
'slov ebutwhenhi scarpul l
sup
afterwor k,myhear tjumpsf orj
oy .Andwhenhe
kissesmemmmh.Fort hepastt woday sI
haven'
thadnight
mar esandIst i
l
lgotot he
ther
apy.Isti
ll
busyatthekitchenwhenacar
pull
supont hedri
veway.Iwentt oopenonlyt
o
begreetedbyawomanIcoul dswearishis
mother.Irememberherfrom thepict
ureshe
showedmeandshei selegant.

Mom:
mychi
l
dwher
eisSanel
e?
Me:
hewentt
othepubdownt
her
oadmom

Iwenttothekit
chenandpour edheragl assof
j
uiceandbiscui
tswhileIcal
ledSanel eandt ol
d
him hehadav i
sit
or.I
tdidn'
ttakehiml ongt o
arr
iveandtheyhuggedeachot herclearlyhappy
toseeeachother.Iwentbackt othekitchenbut
heardthemothersay
Mom:
ist
hisy
ourgi
rl
fr
iendSane?
Sanel
e:y
esmaandIl
oveher
.
Mom:
butwhatabouty
ourwi
fe?Whatwi
l
lyour
f
athersayaboutt
hiskodwaSanel
e
[
05/
02,
18:
54]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose

Chapt
er13

Iwokeupbef orethem butIdi dn'

tknowwhet her
togot otheki tchenorjustst ayinbed.Att he
endIdeci dedt ogoandmakebr eakfastafter
taki
ngabat h.I '
vegotspringsonmyst eptoday
andI'm smi l
ingf ornoreason.Icl eanedt he
houseandv er andathenmadebr eakfastfor
everyone.Sanewokeupf i
rstandcamet ot he
kit
chen.Ther e'ssomet hingaboutt hi
sguyt hat
makesmeweakandst rongatt hesamet i
me.
Heembr acesmyper fectinspectionsandmake
mef eelli
keadamnqueen.Andwhenhesmi les
mmmh. .
...

Heki
ssesmeatt
hebackofmyneckandpool
s
achai
rtosi
ton.Imakehi
m acupofcof
fee.

Sanel
e:y
oul
ooksosexyt
odayl
i
key
ougot
somethi
smorni
ng

Heeet hisonewantstomakemebl ushnowhey .

Ijustsmi l
edandhegavemeapl ay
fulsmackat
mybacksi de.Hismom chosethatverymoment
tocomei nandIcoul
dtellt
hatshedidnot
approve.Wellshecantakeitupwithhisson
cozIdi dn'
tdoanythi
ng.Iser
vedbreakfastand
weal late.

Mom:
soBanoy
olowher
edoy
oust
ay?
Me:
Ist
ayi
ntownwi
thaf
ri
endofmi
nema
Mom:
andwhataboutschool
?
Me:
I'
m goi
ngt
oacul
i
nar
yschool
nexty
earma
Mom:
aren'
tyout
ooy
oungf
ormyson?
Sanel
e:ma?Liker
eall
yhowisshesupposedto
answert
hatquest
ion?Whydon'
tyoudir
ectthat
tome?
Mom:thi
schi
l
disonl
yaf
tery
ourmoneyand
youar
etoobl
i
ndtoseet
hat
Sanel
e:y
etI
'
mtheonewhoper
suedher
Mom: Ihopesheknowst
haty
ouhav
eawi
fe
andson
Sanel
e:wow!
!!
!Ni
ceonemom.

Icouldn'
tev enfinishmyf oodasIwasr eall
y
hurt
.Ihatei tthatev enthoughshedoesn' tknow
meshehast hegut st othi
nksol owofme.Wel l
IknowIhav enot hingtoof f
erhissonexceptmy
heartbecauseev enmybodywhi chissupposed
tobemyt empl ehasbeenpubl icproper
tyfora
whil
e.May bethiswomani sri
ghtandIdon't
deservetobewi thhi sson.Whatt ypeof
rel
ati
onshipi sthisany wayi fi
twill
have
resistancef r
om hi sfami ly?Istoodupandput
mypl ateinthemi crowav ethenwentt ot he
bedr oom andt ookmyhandbagandl eft.Mot her
andsonwer est i
llf
ightingatt hesitt
ingr oom
anddi dn'
tevenseemel eave.Itookat axi to
townt henanothert othebeachf r
ontandj ust
satt hereandwat chedt hewav esandpeopl e
swi mmi ng.Iblockedmyt hought sandjust
concent r
atedont heki dspl ayi
ngi nthesand.
Theyar elaughingandcar efreeandr ealised
thatIwokeupf eeli
ngl ikethatt hi
smor ningand
Ilovedt hatfeeling.Letmecal lSaneandt ell
himt hatI'
mf i
neandj ustneededt ogetsome
freshai r.
Damni
tIl
eftmyphonebehi
nd.

Rush!
!!

Itur
nedandsawthi
soldmanprobabl
yinhi
s
fort
iessmi
l
ingatme.Ir
ememberhow
embarrassedIwaswhenIwokeupi nhisbed
anddidn'
trememberhowwel efttheclubori
fI
gavehim hismoney '
swor t
h.Hepai d
handsomelythoughandcal ledmeacab.He
wasagent lemanbutI'm badwi thnamesand
hewassupposedt obeaf acelesscustomerbut
hereheissmi l
ingl
ikeakidwhoj ustfounda
stashofcandies.

Me:
ohhel
l
o.I
t'
sbeenal
ongt
ime
Him:saythatagai
n.Whathappenedt
oyou?
Younolongerinthebusi
ness?
Me:
Iqui
t,I
'
m goi
ngbackt
oschool
nexty
ear
Hi
m:thati
sawisedecisi
on.Ial
waysf
eltt
hat
t
hisj
obwasnotforyou.Goodluck
Me:
thanky
ou

Helef
tmeandsinceI'
vebeenher
eforhour
sI
wasstar
ti
ngt
ofeelhungr
y.Mybreakf
astwas
rui
nedsoy eahIneedtoeat
.Iwenttoocean
basketandatethentookat
axit
ot ownand
anotherhome.Whenhesawmeent erhe
practi
cal
lyrant
obeandhuggedme.

Sanel
e:don'
tev
erdothattome.Iwaswor r
ied
si
ckaboutyouandyoulef
tyourphonebehi
nd
Me:t
hatwasnoti
ntent
ional
andIonl
ysawit
whenIgott
othebeachandwant
edtocal
lyou
Sanel
e:Iknowmyl ovei
samessandI '
m al
so
notasaintbutpl
easebearwit
hmecozinall
thi
schaos,Iknowthatiwantyoui
nit
Me: andIal
sowantt
obeapar tofi
t.Il
eft
becauseIdi
dn'
twanttosayt
hewr ongthi
ngt
o
yourmother

Wesatdownandhet oldmet hathi

smot her
haslef
t.Iapologi
sedforget
ti
nghi m soworked
outandweki ssedandmadeup.OnMondaywe
wenttoworktogetherandIwentthr
oughthe
processofi
nducti
onandIwasshownwhatt o
do.Around10Sanelecall
edmet ohisof
fi
ce.
Sanele:
Therecept
ioni
statourofficei
n
Marit
zburgi
sgoingonmat erni
tyleaveon
Fri
dayandherrepl
acementpulledoutonthe
l
astmomentsot heywanty outowor kt
here
unti
ll
Decembercozsheiscomi ngbackin
January
Me:
oknopr
obl
em
Sanel
e:t
heywil
lpayf
ory
ourr
entbutIhav
eto
takey
outher
etoday

Wel eftandwentt opackathi spl

acet henof ft
o
Mar i
tzburgwewent .Hetookmet ot
heof fi
ce
fi
rstthenIwasr egisteredandsomeonet ook
met ot hi
sbachelorf l
atIwil
lbest
ayingi n.It
al
readyhasf ur
nituresoweboughtgr oceryand
beddingthenwenthome.
Me:
thanky
ouf
ort
hischancebabe.
Sanel
e:youarewelcomeYol
ojustpr
omi
seme
youwil
lvisi
tever
yweekendy
ounotbusy

Thateasyforme.Wemadepassionatel
ove
j
usttesti
ngthebedi
fit
'sst
rongenoughto
handl
ey oungl
ove
[
05/
02,
18:
54]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose

Chapt
er14

Wet ookanapaf t
erthatsexercisethenIwoke
upandt ookaquickshowert henpr epareda
si
mpl edinnerf
ortwo.Hewokeupwhi l
eIwas
cookingandwenttof etchhi
sl aptopfrom t
he
caranddi dsomewor k.Weat edinnerthen
watchedabutoft v.
Sanel
e:I
'm goi
ngt omissyouYol
o.Tryt
oli
vea
l
it
tl
eandmakef r
iendsbutbecar
eful
whoyou
i
nvit
eint
oy ourhome
Me:
Iwi
l
ltr
ybutIhav
epr
obl
emst
rust
ingpeopl
e
Sanel
e:asl
ongasyoutrusti
nourl
oveIdon'
t
car
eaboutany
thi
ngelse.

Wewentt osleepandhehadt oleav eear lyas

hei sdrivingtoDur banandneedst obeatt he
traff
ic.Theof fi
cei sawal ki
ngdi stancef rom the
fl
atsoaf terheleftIgotr eadyandwal kedt he
shor tdistancetowor k.Imi sshim alreadybutI
needt odot hi
s.Thel adyIwi l
lber eli
ev i
ng
showedmeal lther opesandi tsnott hathar d.
Firstdaywasn' tsobadev ent houghImadea
fewmi stakes.IgothomeandIgoogl edr ehab
centresar oundMar i
tzbur gandf oundan
affordableonet hatt reatsoutpat ients.Imade
anappoi ntmentfort omor rowaf terwor kandby
theendoft hweekIhadst art
edmyt herapy
session.Sanel ecal l
smeev er
ydayorwewoul d
chatonwhat sappwhenhei snott i
redofcoz .
OnSat urdayIhav eat herapysessi onsoI '
m not
goingt oDur ban.Af tert
hesessi onIwentt o
townj ustt ofamiliar
izemy sel
fwi t
hmynew
town.It hinkI'm goingtol ovethisplace.Iwent
backhomeandj ustwat chedt v.Sanecal l
edto
tellmet hathe' sgoingtot hepubwi thShaka.
Yest heyar est i
ll
thebestoff ri
endsev enaf t
er
Zandile.Ar ound9Isenthi m at extthatI'
m
sleepingandt heywer estillout.Iwaswokenup
byacal li
nt hemi ddleoftheni ghtandi twas
him soi pickedup.

Me:
heybabe
Woman' svoi
ce:sorr
yI'
m noty ourbabe.Ij
ust
wantyoutoknowt hatI
'm backnowsoy oucan
backoffSanel
e.Evenhisstupidwifecouldn'
t
takemyplace.Thanksforbeinghisplaythi
ng
whi
l
eIwassor
ti
ngmy
sel
fout
Me:Ir
eall
ymustbot hery
out hatmucht haty
ou
woul
dwaitforhimtopassoutbef or
ey oucall
me.Youdon'tscar
emesoIsuggesty ouenjoy
hi
m whil
eyoucancozIwi ll
beback

Shedr oppedt hecal landt obehonestIdon' t

knowwher eIgott heconf idencet oanswerher
l
iket hi sbutIdon' tev enf eel botheredbyt hi
s.I
hav eser i
ouspr oblemst obot herabouta
womani nSanel e'
sbed.I fSanel ewant smehe
willfindmeher e.I'
m notgoi ngany whereand
myl ov ewon' tbeaf fectedbyr andom women.I f
hel ov edhert hatmucht henhewoul dn'
thav e
bother edwi t
hme.Het oldmehewasn' tasai nt
soIbethemeantt hingsl iket his.Iwentbackt o
sleepandi tf
eelsgoodt onothav eni
ghtmar es.
I'
l
l f
or ev erbegr eatful t
oSot obef orheali
ngmy
soul .Thef ollowingdayIwokeupandcl eaned
myr oom.Idi dmyl aundryt henmademy sel
f
breakfast.Around11Iwasbor edandj ustt
ook
anap.Iwaswokenupbyaknockatt hedoor
andIqui cklyputmyt oponasIsl epti nmy
shortsandbr a.Iopenedt hedooronlyt obe
greetedbyt hedelectableMrSibiya.Hewon' t
havei teasysoIf ei
gnedannoy anceathi ssight
.
Icant ellt
hathehasmassi vehangov er,ser
ves
himr i
ghtf orl
etti
nghiswomancal lmeI '
mthe
middleoft henight.Ilethi
mi nandwesi tonthe
couch.

Me:
sohowy
ourout
ingl
astni
ght
?
Sanele:
I'
m sorr
ybabesaboutl astni
ght.I
bumpedi nt
oLinda.Ican'
texactl
ycallhermy
gir
lf
ri
endaswehav eneverbeenexclusi
vebutI
cansaywear efri
endswithbenefit
s
Me:
sowher
edoest
hatl
eav
eme?
Sanele:Itol
dheraboutyouthismorningand
brokeitoffwit
hherandshet oldmet hatshe
call
edy ou.It
hinkshesawthet exty
ousentand
outchat
s
Me:i
t'
sfi
nereal
l
ybutIneedtoknowi
fther
ewil
l
bemoreoft
hiscomi
ngfrom t
hewoodworks?
Sanel
e:al
lIcansayi sthatI
'vepl
ayedthefi
eld
andsomeoft hem justfi
zzl
edoutwhil
eaf ew
werel
efthanging.ThereisonemorethatIneed
tol
etgothenI'm al
l y
ours.

Iwantedt ol
aughatal lt
hiscozasmuchast hi
s
i
saser iousconv ersati
onbuthi sappearanceis
j
ustcomedi c.Itoldhimt otakeanapaf terI
gavehim aglassofor os.Istarteddinnercozif
myassumpt i
onisr ighthewi l
l beoutt i
lll
ate
aft
ernoon.Ifi
nishedcooki ngandwat chedidol
s
whil
ehei sstil
lsleeping.Hef inall
ywokeup
aft
er6andt ookashower .Iknowhemustbe
hungrysoIwar medt hefoodanddi shedupf or
us.Hekeepsst ealingglancesonmeandIcan
tel
lthathewant stosaysomet hing.
Me:
whati
sitbabe?
Sanel
e:I
'
mreal
l
ysor
ryaboutl
astni
ght
Me:
Ifor
giv
eyou
Sanel
e:t
hanky
ou.Ar
eyoubusynextweekend?
Me:
noI
'
m notbabe,
why
?
Sanel
e:pl
easecomev
isi
tme.Musawant
sto
meetyou

Iagreedandwef i
nishedeat i
ng.Hel eftear
ly
thefol l
owi ngmorni
ngandIgotr eadyf orwor k.
Theweekwentonf asterandI'vegot tenusedt o
howt hingsworkher e.I'
vemadef ri
endswi th
Sindi who'sdoingherpr acti
cals.OnFr i
dayafter
wor ki caughtataxitoDur banandf oundhim
waitingatDur banstat i
on.Heiswi thhisbrother
andt heyl ookabitalikebutMusai st al
kati
ve
yhoo.Wegooutt oacockt ailbari nBal l
i
tothen
from ther ewehitacl ubandonl ywenthome
around1am.Ionl yhadt wocockt ail
sandhe
wasn'tdrunkaswel lunlikeMusawhoi sf l
atout.
Wegothomeandwentst r
aightst r
aightbed.He
i
sinsuchagoodmoodt odayandwehav e
adultfunthatonl yl oversunder stand.The
fol
lowingmor ningt hought herewasnot i
mef or
mor ni
ngglor yaswewer ewokenupbyal oud
knock.Itri
edt oi gnorei twhilethemanbesi de
mesl eptsopeacef ully.Theknockgot
i
rri
tati
nglyloudt hatIhadnochoi cebutt ogo
andansweraf terput ti
ngonhi sshirtofcoz.I
wascur si
ngundermybr eathasIwentt ot he
doorandIopenedbef prechecki ngwhoi twas.
Therewasanel derlymanandy oungwomani n
herlast20s.Theyl ookedatmei nadi sgust ed
mannerandaf t
ert hesessi onIhadl astni ghtor
earl
yt hi
srathert henIdon' tcareaboutt heir
l
ooks.Iinvitedt hem inandshowedt hem wher e
tosit.

Man:
wher
eismyson?
Me:
hei
sst
il
lsl
eepi
ngsi
r
Man:can'
tyouseeit
salr
eadyaf
ter10?Goand
wakeSanel
eupr i
ghtnowandgetoutoft
his
housebef
oreIl
oseit.

Iwentt
othebedr
oom andwokehi
m up.

Sanel
e:comeandj
oinmei
nbedi
t'
stooear
lyt
o
wakeup.

Itri
edtotel
lhi
m abouthi
sfat
herbuthisli
ps
dist
urbedmeandIf or
gotwhatIwasgoingto
sayandgotcaughtupinwhathewasdoi ng
unti
llt
herewasaloudknockatourdoor.

Sanel
e:whatt
hef
uckdoesMusawantnow?
Me:(
whisper
ing)i
t'
syourf
atherbabe.Hecame
wi
thayounglady
Sanel
e:t
hef
uck?

Hequicklydressedandwentt oopenthedoor
andhisfatherwasshoutingathim.IfIt
hought
myfamilyhadpr obl
emsi tsbeacuseIdi
dn'
t
knowaboutt heseones.Letmet akeashower
andlett
hem sor tt
hemselvesout
[
05/
02,
18:
54]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose

Chapt
er15

AsIwast akinghi sshi

rtoffIcoul
dn'thel
p
heari
ngtheirtalkasthedoorwasn' tcl
osedall
thewayandt heywereshout i
ngateachot her
.I
sawthatSanewasangr ywhenhest eppedout
ofthebedroom buthear inghimtal
kt ohisdad
gavemet heshi vers.
Dad:whati
sthi
shoedoingi
nyourhousewhen
yourwi
feiswai
ti
ngfory
ouathome?
Sanele:
youhaveanervecall
i
ngmywoman
nameswhent hatt
hingyouar
riedf
orme
changedmenl i
keshedi
dherunderwear
Dad:
don'
tfor
gett
hatI
'
m st
il
lyourf
ather
Sanele:onlywheny ouwantmet ofatheryour
kid?Ohsoy outhi
nkIdon'tknowthatyou'
v e
beenscr ewingherallthi
swhil
e?You
threat
enedy oursonMusawhenhewaswi th
herbecausey ouwant edherall
toyoursel
f.
Dad:enough.Idon'
tknowwhaty
ouar
etal
ki
ng
about
Sanele:
justl
ikeyoudontknowwhoki ll
edthe
ki
ng'sson?Justli
keyoudon' tknowwhyI
endedupi nj
ailwi
thattemptedr apeofmy
supposedwifetheni
ghtafterItriedt
osleep
wit
hher ?YouhavenoshameandIwantbot hof
yououtofmyhouser ightnow.
Zandil
e:comeonSaneyoucan'
tchaseusout
forsomeoneyouj
ustfound
Sanel
e:wasIt
alki
ngtoyou?Howdoesitmake
youfeel
tosl
eepwithonesonthenthef
ather
andendupmarryi
ngtheotherson?
Musa:
whati
sthi
sbi
tchdoi
ngher
e?
Dad:
shutupboy
.That
'sy
ourbr
other
'swi
fey
ou
ar
erefer
ri
ngt
o
Musa:youmeany oursecondwi f
eright
?Soldt
o
t
hehighestbi
dderorrathert
her i
chestSi
biy
a
whosohappenedt obemyf ather

Itwasqui etaft
erthatandIdeci dedt ogotothe
bathroom andt akethatlongawai t
edshower .I
t
wasn'tlongwhenIhear dtheshowerdooropen
andhecamet ojoi
nme.Hewassoangr ythatI
decidednott oaskhim any thi
ng.Iscrubbedhis
backandpl antedfeatherlightki
ssesoni twhil
e
washinghi sback.Het urnedandki ssedme,
massagi ngmybr eastsandpi nningmet ot he
glasswal l
.Iar
chedmybr eastsupandst oodon
ti
ptoet oall
owhi m compl eteaccess.Icoul d
feelhisrodpokingmeandIknel tinfrontofhim
andgav ehim headunt i
llhest artedmoani ngin
Chinese.Heswi tchedof fthewat erand
scoopedmeupt othebedr oom.Igr abbedt he
towel andwequi cklywipedour selvesupt he
continuedwher ewel ef
tof f.Het ookacondom
from thebedsidetableandputi ton...
..
..
.

Anhourl at
erwef inal
lyemer gedf romnfhe
bedroom andMusawaseat inganAppl eatt he
l
ounge.Iquickl ymadebr unchf oreveryoneand
weal l
ate.Todaywear egoingt ot heharbour
foraboatr i
de.Weal lwentt hereanddi da
roundtri
pwhi lesippingonr efreshment s.Af t
er
thatwewentt ojoinShakaandsomeoft hei r
otherfr
iendsf oraf unfil
ledev ening.Wel ater
wenthomej ustaf t
er8leav i
ngMusabehi nd
becausehesai ditwast ooear ly.Wewant ed
someal onet
imeandt r
uthbetoldIwasalso
eagertoheartheful
lst
oryaboutthIfami
lyof
thei
rsbutIdi
dn'thavet
hegutstoaskoncewe
werealone.Wewer est
il
ltal
ki
ngandmaki ng
outonthecouchwhenIgotacal lfr
om a
numberIdidn'
trecogni
se.

Me:
hel
l
o.
Call
er :
helloBano.Ihopeyoustil
lrememberme,
theloveofy ourl
if
e?Itoldyouthatwearein
thi
sf orli
fe.YouareminewhetherinDurbanor
EasternCapeRush.
Me:
andwher
edi
dyougett
hisnumber
?
James:forabeauti
ful
ladyy
ousurecanbe
dumb.Isti
lll
oveyoubabe.I
'
m gl
adyouare
backi
nDur ban

Ist
artedsweat
inganddr
oppedt
hephone.Sane
huggedmeandaskedmewhatwasgoingon
andIt
oldhi
m

Sanel
e:howl
onghav
eyouhadt
hisphonebabe?
Me:forsomet
imenow.Jamesgavei
ttome
t
hreeweeksbefor
eIcamehere.
Sanele:damnit
.He'sbeentracki
ngthephone
sinceyoucameher e.I
tseasytotrackan
i
phonef rom aniPadorApplelapt
op.Weneed
todumpt hi
sphonesomewher egiveitatacl
ub
thenIwillbuyyouaphonetomor row.

Wewentt ot herooftopanddumpedt hephone

thereaft
ertakingtheSIM car
doff.Couldi
tbe
thathespoket oZamaorhef ol
l
owedmeher e.
AllIknowist hatt
hishasshakenme.
[
05/
02,
18:
54]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose

Chapt
er16
Thefollowingdayheboughtmeanewphone
aspromi sedwi t
hanewSI M card.Okmylif
eis
notdif
ferentfrom thatofaf ugi
ti
venowandI '
m
seri
ouslywor r
ied.I
'm notexactl
yscaredof
Jamesmor ethanIam pi ssedoffathim.The
guythinksheownsmenotknowi ngthatt
he
holdhehadov ermei slonggone.Onourway
fr
om themal lheaskedmet oaccompanyhim
toUmlazi townshipoutsidetownandIasked
him whatisthere.

Sanele:youareapar tofmylifenowandIwant
tointr
oducey outothelastpieceoft hepuzzle,
myf ivey
earol ddaughter
.Hermom di edlast
yearandshenowst ayswithhergr andma.
Whenshedi edthoughwewer enol ongeran
i
tem.Webr okeupwhenThandowasay earold
butI'v
ealway sbeenanact i
vef at
her .Onlymy
sibl
ingsknowaboutherbecausemypar ents
ar
eal
i
ttl
ecr
azy
.
Me:wowthatawesomebabe, Ican'twaitt
osee
herev
enthoughI'
m nervous.Idon'texactl
y
knowhowIfeelaboutchil
dren
Sanel
e:Iknowhowyoufeel
babebutIneedher
toknowthatIhav
esomeoneser
iousi
nmyl i
fe.
Me: thanky oufortrustingmewi tht his.Wegot
thereandt hegrandmawashappyt oseeusand
sheissuchaf ri
endlyper sonunl i
ket hest uck
upsI '
veseensof ar
.Weaskedt ot akeheroutt o
l
unchandhergr andidn'thav eapr obl em.Shei s
suchal iv
ewi r
elikeMusaandi stalki ngnon
stopont heway .Wedr ovet opav i
lionshoppi ng
centreandt ookhert oWool worths.Shei sj ust
l
ikeanyot herlit
tlegirlandget sexci tedasshe
choosest hosecut elit
tleclothes.Iev enhel p
herchooseaf ewi t
emsandshedi dn' thav ea
problem withmehel pi
ngher .Iev enhel pedher
fi
tthem thenSanepai dandwewett ohav e
l
unch.Wet hent ookherhomeasi tisal sot ime
formet ol eave.Het ookmebackt omar itzburg
andwesl eptt here.From t henonIwoul deither
visitonweekendsorhewoul dcomet ome.
Whenev erwear einDur banwewoul dt ake
Thandoei theronSat ur dayoronSunday .Shei s
suchabeaut ifulandni ceki dandIam war mi ng
upt oher .Ihav ejoi
nedapoet ryclubin
Mar it
zbur gandcooki ngcl asses.I'mt r
yingbyal l
meanst ohav eanor mal li
feandf or get
ev eryt
hingel se.Thet her apyi shelpingbi gtime
andni ghtmar esar eat hi ngoft hepast .It'
sa
WednesdayandI '
ml azyt ocooksoi j
ustsi t
therewr iti
ngmypoet rywhent here'
saknockat
thedoor .I t
'sSanel eandt hesmi letellsmet hat
hehasgoodnews.

Me:outwit
hitMr
.Whati
smaki
ngy
ousmi
l
e
l
iket
hat?
Sanele:can'
tIj
ustsmi
leformywomanforno
reason?Ohwellyouhavebeenadmi
tt
edtotwo
schools.Onei
nunderber
gandt heotheri
n
CapeTown.Theonei nCapeTowni sabitpri
cy
butIli
keitcozit
'saoneyearcour
seandt hey
wil
lfi
ndaj obforyou.
Me:wowbabethat'
sawesomebutwi
l
lwe
af
for
diti
fit
'spr
icy
?
Sanele:
leav
eev er
ythi
ngtomebabe.Ialready
madeani nt
ernettr
ansferandpai
dhalfofit
.I
real
l
ywanty outodothisandsucceedinli
fe.

Ibecameemot i
onal andhuggedhim.Hadit
beensomeoneel sehewoul dhavetol
dmeov er
thephonebuthedeci dedtodri
veallt
heway
j
usttotellme.May bethisi
stheti
met ogi
ve
himthepoem Iwr oteforhi
m.It'
snotmuch
comparedt oev
erythinghedoesformebutit
comesf r
om thehear t
:

Igott
oknowy
oubet
ter
Toshar
ewi
thy
oumor
e
Changedmywi
l
dway
s
Li
vedabet
terl
i
fe
Iembr
acedy
ourchi
l
d,gav
eherl
ove
Accept
edy
ofr
iends,
gav
euspace
Di
dital
ltoshowt
hatIcar
e

Icookedy
omeal
snwai
tedony
ou
Bar
edmysoul
andgav
eumyhear
t
Ishar
edy
ourpai
nandhappi
ness
Wel
comedy
osquadngav
eem r
espect
Idi
dital
ltoshowt
hatIcar
e

Ul
i
stenedt
omypr
obl
ems
Ugav
emeadv
ise
Wecr
iedt
oget
her
,shar
edl
otsofl
aught
er
I
twasal
leasybecausey
oucar
e
Ubel
i
evedi
nmeandur
gedmeon
If
eltbadwheny
ouboughtmegi
ft
s
Thanki
ngmef
orbei
ngt
her
e

Asy
owomani
tcomesnat
ural
Asy
ourpar
tneri
tisr
ewar
ding
Asy
ourl
overl
etmedoi
t
Anddon'
tthankmecoz
Al
lIdi
dwast
oshowt
hatIcar
e
[
05/
02,
18:
54]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose

Chapt
er17

SinceIstart
eddati
ngSanelehehasnev erbeen
speechl
ess.Healway shaveagreatcomeback
toeveryt
hingbutaft
erIreadthepoem t
ohi m
hewasact ual lyspeechl essandhuggedme.
Onet hingl edt oanot herandwhenwewer e
donewet ookashowerandwentoutt odi nner.
Soi t'
sconf i
rmedt hatnexty earIam goi ngt o
CapeTown.GoshI '
m sohappyIdon' tev en
knowwhatt osay .Isl eptsopeacef ullyt hatI
didn'tev enhav easi ngl edream.Hel ef tear lyi
n
Thur sdayandIt oldhi m Iwi l
lfoll
owhi m on
Fridayaf ternoon.Wewer ebusyt hatThur sday
thatwhenknockof ftimecameIwant edt odoa
celebr at orydance.Ther earet hoseday st hat
youwor khar dert hant herestbutt her e'snot
muchy oucando.Igothome, tookashower
andj ustf ellasleep.Iwokeupv eryhungr y
around9andmademy selfasandwi ch.It hen
sentat exttoSanej ustt otellhim goodni ght.
Hecal ledi mmedi atelyandwet alkedunt il I
becamedr owsyt hensai doutgoodni ght .
Tomor r owIhav et ogot other apyfirstt hingi n
themor ningandI '
m doi ngthef inalsessi ons
now.Thet her apistt oldmet hati t
simpor tant
formet ohav eclosureandgot omypar ents
andt ellthem everyt
hingwhet hertheywi ll
beli
ev eitornot .Nowt hisisthehar destpar tbut
i
fitwi llhelpmyheal i
ngt henIwi lldoit.Iwent
towor kandgotbusyasusual .Todayoneofmy
coll
eagueswi ll
givemeal i
fttodurbansoI
won'thav etousepubl i
ct ransport
.Af terwor kI
tookmybagandwel eftforthesunnyDur bs.
Sanewasal r
eadywai ti
ngf ormeatt hegar age
whenwear ri
vedandwet hankedt heguyand
l
eft.Hewashungr yandsuggest edt hatwego
todinnerbef orewegohome.Wewentt ocape
townf ishmar ketandpl acedouror der.Wewer e
enjoyingourdr inksshet heseseemi nglydr unk
guysappr oachesourt ableandl ookedatme.

Man1:HeyRush, Ial
mostdi
dn'
trecognisey
ou
wi
thoutyourcheapwig.Weneedy outoser
vice
al
lofustoni
ght
Me:
Idon'
tknowwhaty
ouar
etal
ki
ngaboutbut
i
fyoucanexcuseuswear
ehav
ingapr
ivat
e
momenthere.
Man2:butbr
ohowcany oudateabl
oody
hooker
?Areyout
hatdesper
ate?
Sanel
e:Idon'
tknowwhetheryou'
redeafor
pl
ainstupi
dbutyouneedtoleaveourt
able

Beforetheycoul danswert heywer et akenout

byt hewaiters.I'
m soembar rassedr i
ghtnow
butSanecomf ort
edme.Ourf oodar ri
vedand
weat e.Itoldhim aboutwhatt het herapi stsai
d
andhesai dweshoul ddoi tattheendof
Nov ember .I
t'stwoweeksawayandI '
m not
sureifIreallywantt odoi t.Wewenthomeand
sleptearl
yt oday.Thef oll
owi ngdaywef etched
Thandof rom hergr andmaandspentt hedayat
theUshakamar i
newor ld.Thiski disgr owi ng
i
nt omeandIhav etoadmi tthatI'
m enj oy i
ngher
companyeacht i
me.Shel ovest akingpi ctures
andwei ndul geherasmuchasshewant s.
Thando:
comeandt
akeapi
ctur
ewi
thme
mommy

Ichokedonmysal ivawhensheaddr essedl i

ke
thatandahugel umpbl ockedmyt hroat.Iwent
toherandwet ooklotsofpi ct ures.Iwant edto
bealonetocol l
ectmyemot ionsabi tbef ore
theyseethatsomet hingt ouchedmel i
ket hat.I
excusedmy selfwiththepr etenceofgoi ngt o
theloo.Ifoundt heladiest oiletsandwenti ntoa
stal
landjustl etitoutabi t.Ithenwashedmy
faceandputonmysungl assesagai n.Iwasj ust
steppingoutoft het oi
letswhensomeone
roughlygrabbedmeandhuggedmef r
om
behind.BeforeIcoul dcollectmy selfhe
whisperedonmyear .

James:y
ouar
ehereplay
inghappyf
ami l
i
eswith
anot
hermanwhenyouknowthatimissyou.I
hateyouforl
eav
ingandtodayy
ouwil
lpay.
ThankGodwedecidedtocomeher
ewi t
hmy
fr
iends.

Ididn'tevent hinkt wiceandscr eamedatt he

topofmyl ungs.Thatt i
mewhenIwasaf raidof
himi slonggonenowIhat ehi m wi thev eryfibr
e
ofmybei ng.Ibi tthehandt hattriedt oclosemy
mout handhecur sedandsl appedmesohar d
butIdi dn'tstopscr eami ng.I twasn' tlongwhen
thesecur ityguar dscor ner edhi m andIsaw
Saneler unningt owar dsme.Hedi dn'tev enask
whatwashappeni ngandj ustl ashedathi m
untilt
hesecur i
tyguar dshel dhi m back.Iwent
toThandowhol ookedshakeatseei nghi sdad
fi
ghtandIhuggedherf oral ongt ime.Itwasn' t
l
ongbef oret hepol icear rivedandt heyaskedi f
wewi ll l
ayachar ge.Iagr eedandt heytookmy
statementandt hatofby st ander s.Ourdayhas
beenr uinedbyt hismonst erbutwewon' tlet
him wi n.Whent hepol icet ookhi m weal soleft
andwentt oGat ewaymal landhaddi nner .
Halfwaythrought hemeal ,daddy '
sprincess
washerol dselfagai nchattinglikesheowns
bothofus.ThatwhatIl ikeaboutt hesel i
tt
le
creatur
es.Theyf orgeteasilyandmov eon
unli
keuswhopackev er
y t
hingi nthebackofour
minds.What everiswr ongwi t
hJamesneed
seri
oushelpbuti tsnotupt omet ohel phim.At
l
eastwemanagedt osalvagewhatwas
remainingoftheev eningandwr appedi tupwit
h
amov i
eeventhoughshesl epthal fwayt hr
ough
i
t.
[
05/
02,
18:
54]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose

Chapt
er18

Wehadt oleavebef
orethemovi
ewasf i
nished
asthepri
ncesswassleepi
ngbynow.Wegot
homeandIbat hedherandt
ookhertobed.I
thenwenttojoi
nmymani nthebedr
oom and
wet ookashowerandwentt obed.Hecall
ed
hisbrotherMusaandaskedhimtosleepathi
s
placeaswehav etosomewherev er
yearl
y
tomorrowandhewi l
lbelef
twithThando.Musa
didn'
thav eapr
oblem wi
ththi
sandagreed.

Sanel
e: t
omor r
owmor ni
ngat4am wear
egoing
tomeety ourparent
s.I
t'
shi
ghtimeyout
ell
them howwhathappenedtoyou
Me:asmuchasIam scaredtoseemyf
ather
butIagr
eewi
thyou.Thanksbabe
Sanel
e:wearenotdoingt
hisf
ort
hem butfor
youtohaveclosur
e.Whet
hert
heyaccepti
tis
uptothem butyouneedt
odothi
sforyour
sani
ty.

Thismansur emakessenseandasmuchasI
don'tknowifI
'mready
,Iwil
lnev
erknowunti
l
lI
tr
y.AllIknowist
hatIhavehi
ssupportno
mat terwhathappenst omor row.Wesl eptaswe
hav eal ongdayt omor row.Wewokeupj ust
aftert hreeandgotr eady.Iwor eaf l
owi ng
stripednav yandwhitemax idress,Jeancr op
j
acketandsandal sandhewor enav ychinos,
whi teshi r
tandBr ownshoes.Wel ookgood
ev eni fwesaysoour selvesandt hener vesar e
notshowi ng.Iwentt ocheckonThandoand
shei ssleepingpeacefull
y .Shewi l
lbesur pri
sed
tof indMusawhenshewakesupbut v
iknow
theygetal ongli
keahouseonf i
reandheruncl e
wi l
l spoilherrot
ten.Itookt wobot tl
esofwat er
from t hef r
idgeandappl est henwentt othecar .
Hei scar r
yingmyhandbagandIcanseet hathe
i
sst il
lfeeli
ngsleepy.

Sanel
e:babedoy
ouknowhowt
odr
ive?
Me: yesIdobabebutIdon'
thav
eadr
iver
's
l
icence
Sanel
e:pl
easedr
ivenowcozI
'
m st
il
ldr
owsy
andt
het
raf
fi
cof
fer
sar
epr
obabl
ysl
eepi
ng

Itookt othewheel andhi tther oadwhi l

ehe
sleepssoundl yont hepassengerseat .Dj Black
coffeeandLul oCaf ear emycompani onon
thesest r
eets.Hay ibot hisguyi sreallytired
shameandI 'm aloneher ecozhei sout .I
changeandouthi phopcozIknowhedoesn' t
l
ikeitbutnopehedoesn' tev enstirasIsi ng
alongt ooldschool DrDr e,TupacandNas.By
thetimeIt urntot hegr avelaccessr oadat
Kwani khwei nBizanaIam nowpl ayingLi rat o
comemyner vest hatar ethreateningt odest r
oy
me.Iam sweat ingdespi t
et heairconi nt hecar
andIhav et ostopt hecarwhenmyhome
appear sinthedi stanceasIst artto
hyperventil
ate.Igetoutoft hecart ocat chmy
breathandt hat'
swhenhewakesup.Heget s
outandcomesr oundt owher eIam now
throwingup.Iam v iolentl
ysi ckasmemor i
es
comef l
oodingbackandI '
m nownotsur ei fI
st
il
lwantt
odothi
s.Hegi
vesmewat
ert
ori
nse
mymouthandhugsmeti
ght.

Sanele:y
ouhavecomet hi
sfarandyoucan't
turnbacknowbabeplease.I
t'
stimetoexpose
thatmonsterwhot
ri
edt odestr
oyyou.

Aft
erIhav ecalm downhet akesthewheelandI
si
tont hepassengersi de.Ichewgum justto
cal
mt hener vesandIam wonder i
nghowwe
wil
lbewel comedori ftheywi l
levenopenthe
gat
ef orus.Ifeelli
kethepr over
bialsonaswe
sl
owlyappr oachthegat e.Heholdsmyhand
andswi t
chesof ftheengineinfr
ontofthegate
andlooksst r
aightint
omyey e.

Sanel
e:i
t'
snowornev
er.Ar
ewedoi
ngt
hismy
queen?
Me:
let
'sdoi
tmyki
ng
Myot herbr
otherJohnisstandingoutsi
de
answeringhi
sphone.Henot icesthecaratthe
gateandgoesi nsi
deprobablytogetthekeys
thencomesoutt oopenforus.Sheheseesme
hesmi l
esandopenshisar msf orme.Hegives
mesuchawar m hugandwest ayli
kethatf
ora
somet imewhil
eSaneledrivesin.

John:youdon'
tknowhowmuchIhavemissed
younanaandyoulooksogood.I
sthi
syour
boyfr
iend
Me:Imi ssweyout
oobutIwasafr
aidtocal
l
aft
erdaddroppedmycal
landyesheismy
boyfr
iend
John:helooksli
kearesponsi
bleguyandIl
ike
hi
m.Pi t
ythatJameshasgonet oDurbanf
orthe
weekendandy ouwon'tseehi
m
Sanelegotoutofthecarandt heygreetedeach
other.Wewal kedi
nsideandIhav etoadmitthat
faci
ngmydadi snotmyi deaofaSunday
mor ningbutI'
m al
readyhere.Theyareatthe
sit
ti
ngr oom dri
nki
ngcoffeeandIcoul dseethe
shockIt hei
reyeswhenIgr eet
edthem.

Dad:whati
sthi
sdevil
doi
nghere?Didn'
tIt
ell
younevert
osetyourf
oother
eagain
John:dadpl
ease.SheIy
ouronl
ydaughter
.At
l
easthearwhatshewantst
osaythentakei
t
fr
om ther
e
Dad:youmadeusal aughi
ngstockandnowI
shoul
djustf
orgetal
lthatj
ustbecausey
ouar
e
myonlydaughter
?
Me:I'
m sorrydadbutIonl
yneedt went
y
minutestotel
lyouwhyIam hereandIpromise
youthataft
erthatIwi
lldi
sappearfr
om yourl
if
e
f
orgood
Dad:
tenmi
nut
esandmakei
tfast

Sanel
ehel dmyhandasIreli
ev edmychildhood
andallt
het hi
ngsIdi
dthatIthoughtwerethe
norm.Itri
edtokeepmyemot ionsatbaywhi le
Johnandmymom wer ecryi
ng.Johncameand
satnexttomeandheldmyot herhandandt he
wordsjustkeptf
lowi
nguntil
lIgotto
yest
erday'
spart.

Dad:youaresick.Whydidyouhavet
otlthi
s
st
rangeraboutfamil
yissues.Whi
chpri
sonis
mysoni n?

Hisreact
ionshockedmet othecoreandSanel
e
tol
dhim whichpri
son.Hewentt othebedr
oom
andcamebackwi thhiscarkeys.

Dad:
Johncomewi
thme.
Wehav
etogety
our
br
otheroutofpr
ison
John:ar
ey oucrazy?Di
dyouhearwhathedi
d
toyourchil
dandy ouwanttorel
easehi
m?I
don'
tdon'ttobeapartofthatdadsor
ry

Dadstormedoffansgottohi
scarandl
eft
.
Whatkindoffatheri
sthi
sandam Imi
ssi
ng
somethingher
e?

Mom: wearetoblameforal
lthi
s.Weshoul
d
havetoldy
outhetrut
halongtimeagomy
chi
ldr
enandmay bewewouldhav epr
event
ed
thi
scalamit
y
John:
whatar
eyout
alki
ngaboutmom?
Mom:it
'salongstor
yJojo.GetNomsatomake
br
eakf
astfi
rstandIwil
ltel
lyoual
labouti
t.

(
Enj
oyy
ourweekendmyangel
s.Isur
eknowI
wi
l
lenj
oymi
ne)
[
05/
02,
18:
54]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose

Chapt
er19

Wet riedev ery

thingt ogetmom t ot alkbutshe
want edt oeatf ir
stsoaunt ymadebr eakfast
whileJohnwant edt oknowev erythingabout
Sanel eandhowIam.ShameI 'venev erbeen
closet omybr otherbecauseofJamesandI
nowIseehowmuchhehasmi ssedme.Hei s
nowwor kingathi biscusmuni cipali
tyandwe
exchangednumber s.Hei shappyt hatI '
m
under goingt herapyandt hankedSanef orbei
ng
i
nmycor ner.Wef inishedeatingandIdi dthe
dishest henj oinedt hem atthelounge.Wewer e
reall
yanxi oustof i
ndoutwhatwasgoi ngon
andmom seemedt omemor eint erestedinher
soninl aw.
John:mom pl
easet
elluswhaty
out
hinky
ou
shoul
dhavetol
duslongago
Mom: I'
veknowny ourfat herallmyl i
feandour
familywascl ose.Il ookedupt ohi m cozhewas
thefirstonet ogot ouni versit
y.Whenhe
start
edwor kinEastLondonwewer eallproud
ofhim.Hewas24andIwas13.I twast he
Decemberhol idaysandhet ookmet ot ownt o
buymeChr i
stmascl othing.Noonesaw
any t
hingwr ongwi thi tbecauset heyal lknew
howhel ov edme.Weboughtcl othest henwent
tohav elunch.Het hent ookmet ot hebeachbut
wesati nthecar .Het oldmehowmuchhe
l
ov edmeandst artedki ssingme.Theki ssf el
t
awkwar datf i
rstbuthet oldmet or elaxandt hat
therewasnot hingwr ongwi thwhathewas
doing.Fr om thenonwar dshewoul dt akeme
everywher ehewentandsomet i
meshewoul d
takehi ssisterswi thhi mj ustt oremov e
suspicion.Thi sonedaywewer ealoneathome
andhestartedi
nserti
nghisf i
ngersandwi t
h
ti
meIstartedenj
oyingit.Onnewy earsev
ehe
fet
chedmeathomeandwesl eptforthefi
rst
ti
me.Itwaspainful
atf i
rstbutwithtimeIgot
usedtoitandwewoul ddoi teverytimehe
camehome.

John:okmom Iunderstandyouweretooyoung
tostar
tthi
srel
ati
onshipbutwhathasthatgot
todowithwhatJamesdi dtomysister
?
Mom: wel iedwhenwesai dthatwedon' thave
fami l
i
es.Wear ebothfrom Tshol omnqai nEast
Londonandmyf at
herandhi sfatherare
brothers.Hei smybr otheranditwasn' tuntil
lI
fel
l pr
egnantwhi l
edoingstd8t hatmyf amily
foundoutaboutusandwewer echasedaway
anddi si
nher i
ted.Unli
keJamest hough, your
fathernev ertr
eatedmebadev enwhenI
reali
sedt hatwhatwear edoingiswr ong
Socl ear l
yt hisisaf ami lycurseandr i
ghtnowI
feel soembar r
assedt hatSanel ehast ohearal l
this.I'm bey ondshockedandwhenmymom
wasdonet alki
ng, ther oom f elteeri
lyqui et.So
mom anddadar er el atedandt heyl
iedt ousal l
thist imebysay ingt hatmymom' sclannamei s
different .Iwonderwher ether estofourf amil
y
i
sandwhatt heyt hinkoft hisi ncest
.Dadmust
knowaboutJames' shenani gansbecausehe
didn'tf eel shockedatal li
nsteadhewasangr y.
Sowhathappensnow?It hinki t'
sti
mef orust o
l
eav ecozThandomustbewonder i
ngwher ewe
are.Somom hasnev erbeenwi thanyot her
manbutdad?Hemustr eall
ybegoodormay be
i
t'sbecauseshedoesn' tknowanybet t
er .We
saidourgoodby esandexpl ainedwhywehav e
tol eav e.Itwasbi tter sweetbutI '
m gladt hatwe
didt his.Wedr ov eof fwi thSaneont hewheel
andIdi dn'
tf eelliket alkingatal l.West oppedat
Por tEdwar dt ofil
l upt het ankandIbought
somer efreshment sf orus.
Sanel
e:Ithinkiknowwhywearesodrawnto
eachother.Bot
heourfami
li
esaremessedup.

Icouldn'
thel pbutl aughandIwasr ewarded
withakiss.Imi ghtnotbemuchbutf orhimI
am enough.Thi smanj ustlovesme.Iknowhe
sti
llhasot hergirlfr
iendscozIhav eseen
evidencebuther espectsmeenoughbynot
doingitonmyf aceandhemakessur eIam
happywhenI '
m wi thhim.Het ol
dmef r
om t he
wor dgot hathei snotanangel andhei strying
tocleanuphi slifeandIwon' tbenaiveinto
thi
nkingt hatitwi ll
happenov ernightandt he
dudei sfi
neAF.Wet alkedunt i
ll
wegothome
andwef oundMusacooki ng.Thandoi stalking
nonst opnextt ohi m.Whenshesawherf ather
thoughsher ushedov ertohim andhescooped
herupandandgav eheraki ss.Shehasa
thousandquest ionsandherchat terisenough
tomakemef orgetaboutwhatIhear dfr
om
mom.Weenj oyedlunchandt hankedMusaf or
everythi
ng.Hehast oleavethoughandhis
brotherwalkedhi mtot hecar.IgotThando
readyandwet ookherhome.Ial sohavetogo
andIwi ll
begoi ngbackwi thmycol l
eagueso
Sanet ookmet ohi m.

Me:
thanky
oumyl
ovef
ort
aki
ngmehome
Sanel
e:Iwi
l
ldoi
tov
erandov
erf
ory
oumyl
ove
Weki ssedt henIsaidgoodby eandwentback
tomycav e.Icall
edmom t ot ellhert
hatI'
m
backatwor kandt hankedherf orcomingcl ean
tous.Thi sisnotthekindoft ruthyouarenev er
readyt ohearandsomet i
mesIwonderi fmom
real
lylovesdadorshedoesn' tknowanybet t
er.
ThankGodIf indcouragetowal kawaybef ore
thelif
econsumedme.Seei ngdad' sreact
ion
thoughmakesmewonderi fhewoul dhav e
preferedmyr elat
ionshipwithJamest o
conti
nue.Thisl
ifei
sget
ti
ngmoreconfusi
ngby
thedayandIwonderwhatSanethi
nksofmy
famil
yafteral
lthi
s
[
05/
02,
18:
54]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose

Chapt
er20

Forsomet wist
edr easonIhopet hatInever
wenthomecozt het ruthhitmemor et hanI
thoughtitwould.IthoughtIwasr eadybutI
reali
sedthatIneedt herapymor ethanIdid
before.Iburri
edmy selfatwor kandpoet r
y
sessionsandt ri
edt obl ockallnegat i
veener gy
from myl i
fe.ThatweekendIwant stobeal one
andt ol
dSanel eIwon' tbecomi ngdown.Tr uth
i
st hatIam ashamedofwhoIam andIdon' t
knowhowSanel eseesmenow.Idi dn'teven
cookonFr idaynightadj ustateanAppl eand
wentt obed.Ididn'tev enwat cht vasIsatt here
i
nt hedarknesst hi
nki ngaboutmyl i
fe.Thelast
thingonmymi ndt houghi sgoingbackt ot he
drinkandsmoki ng.IthinkI '
m strongenought o
handl ethesepr oblemsonasobermi nd.Iwoke
upv er
year lyonSat urdayanddi dmyl aundr y.I
cleanedmypl aceunt il
li
twasspot lesst hen
mademy selfabowl ofcer eal.Mymi ndi sall
ov erthepl aceandIdon' tknowwhatt odo.The
onl yconstanti nt hi
sawf ulconf usi
ngt i
mei s
thatIlov eSanel epastt het hedoubt sand
shame.Il ovehi m pastt heconf usi
onandpai n
andIl ovehi mf orbeinghi m.Hei sdoi ng
ever yt
hingt ohel pmeheal andi fIdoubt edhi s
l
ov ebef ore,nowIam sur ethathel ov esmef or
meandhedoesn' tseeabr okenper sonwhen
hel ooksatme.It ookMi chael Kiwanuka' sdisc
andpl ayedi t.Iwant edt hesoundofgoodmusi c
tosoot hemeasIwr iteabeaut ifulpoem t hat
expl ai
nswher eIam emot ionall
yandhowIf eel
aboutus.Ther e'sreluctancewhenIt hinkabout
ther esi
stancef rom thef ami l
ybuthi slove
makesmyhear tcont ent.WhenI '
m doneIt ake
awal kt othei nter netcaf eandpr intitthenIbuy
aphot of r
ameatMrPr i
cehomeandt akei t
home.Iputt hepoem i nt hef ramet henputi ti
n
thedr awer .Iwi l
l giveittohi m nextweekend
cozf ornowIhav et herapyt oattend.WhenI
wasdoneIhadl unchatst eer sthenwentback
home.I 'ml azyt odayandal lIwanti st otakea
nap.Igothomeandf oundhi m sitti
ngonmy
doorpl ayi
ngagameonhi siPad.Idi dn'tknowI
mi ssedhi mt hismuchcozseei nghi m gabmy
hear tanexci tedsomer sault.Ihuggedhi m and
forsomer easonIf eltli
kecr ying.Iopenedt he
doorandwewenti nside.Webot htookanap
thenwhenwewokeupwewentoutt ohav e
dinner .Wewer eaboutt osleepwhenheopened
thepedest al drawert oputi nhi swal l
etandcar
key s.Hesawt hef rameandt ooki tout .He
coul dseet hati twasdedi cat edt ohi m andhe
l
ookedatmewi thsuchl ov einhi sey esandI
tooki tandr eadi tt ohim:
.
..
..
..
..
Thestr
ingofbr
okendr
eamsleftat
rai
lof
bl
ooddrippi
ngfr
om awoundedhopel
esshear
t
Cutopenwhenitexposeditsel
ftof
eel
i
ngsof
sweetnev
erlandofyester
year
Yetherei
tst
andsagainwit
hconf
usi
oni
nthat
awfulgat
eofsweetsurr
ender
.
Wonder
ingwit
hunder
standabl
erel
uctancei
f
st
eppi
nginsi
dewon'
tbegoingbackintime
I
fgivi
ngintothepr
omiseofsur
real
lif
ewill
br
ingclosur
eandanswerst
othemy st
ery
Ifopeni
ngthefloodofrequest
edfeel
i
ngsisnot
i
nv i
ti
ngunwelcomestrainsofsor
rowful
exist
ence
Fori
nli
feweneverr
eal
lyst
opswi
mmi
ngi
nthe
pool
ofwonderandi
nsecur
it
y.

Withaconfidentspr
ingini
tsst
eptheheart
fi
nall
ytakestheleapint
otheout
str
etched
handsofitssuit
or.
Real
isingthatt
hepastisnotasparal
yzi
ngas
theprospectofal
onelyexi
stencemightbe
Thatnottaki
ngachanceinlov
emightbel
ike
hammer i
ngthel
astnail
tothecof
fi
nofdoom
Finall
yunder
standi
ngthemessageoft
hose
voicesassongsoflov
eanddrumsasechosof
happiness
Sungj
oyousl
yastheyar
ef i
nal
lyj
oinedt
oget
her
i
ntaki
ngthej
ourneyi
ntotheunknown
Onl
yguidedbythesoftstr
ingsofthesymphony
i
nsi
de,heardbythosefl
oatingi
ntheirown
wor
ld.
Say
ingIl
ovey
oui
snotenoughSot
obe!

Hetookthefr
amef r
om myhandsandputi t
backi
nthedrawerandcloseditthenlif
tedmy
chi
nwithhisi
ndexfi
ngerunti
llourli
pst ouched.
Themessageinthosel
ipsast heyteasedme
wasenoughtomakemeconf essmysi nst othe
Rabi andaskf orf orgiveness.Hepul l
edaway
from thekissandIopenedmyey esonlytobe
greetedbyamessagei nhisey esthatonlyI
couldunder stand.Icoul df eeltearsthreateni
ng
myey esandheki ssedeachey ewithsuch
passiont hatforamomentIt houghtIwas
hav i
nganoutofbodyexper i
ence.Coul ditbe
thatthismani saheav enlybodysentt ot his
wor l
dt osavemef r
om me?What everthecase
allIknowi sthatt onightI'
llhithim witha
breaststr
oke, freestyl
eandt hebackst roketil
l
webot hgetcigar et
tesmoke
[
05/
02,
18:
54]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose

Chapt
er21

Iwokeupatmi dnightfornoreasonatall
becausethenight
mar eshavestoppedand
peacehastakenresidenceinmysl eep.Il
ooked
attheonebesidemeandmyhear tfi
ll
edwitha
strangeemot i
onInev erf eltbefore.I twas
somet hingst rongert hanl ovebutl esst han
obsessi on.Itwasaf eelingofcont ent mentand
IknewIam wher eIam supposedt obe.Imay
stil
l hav eissuesbutt hisoner ighther ewant s
mewi thmyi mper f
ect ionsandi snotf azedby
any thingasl ongashehasme.Whoam It hen
nott or ewar dhi m wi t
hnot hingbutl ove?I
foughtt her i
singedget oki sshim becauset he
sli
ght estmov ementmi ghtwaket hel ight
sleeperi nhi m.I t
'samazi nghowi nt hemi stof
myl i
fef alli
ngapar thef oundandkeptmeashi s
preci ouspossessi ons.Theseday sIseechange
cozbef or e,hewoul dei therswi tchhi sphoneof f
whenhesl eepsorputi tonsi lentmodeand
whenhet houghtIwassl eepinghewoul dsend
at ex tprobabl ytell
ingwhoev erwasont heot her
endt hathei switht hemadam orwhat everthe
guy sl i
eabout .Nowhei smor er elaxedand
evenl etsmeanswerhi sphone.I '
m notanosy
per son, thankst oJamesf orteachi ngmet o
knowmypl acecozev enrightnowIdon' tev en
feel l
ikegoi ngt hroughhisphone.WhatIhav e
withhi mi sbeaut i
fulwit
houtmespoi lingi twit
h
mydet ectivemode.Ismi lewheni thinkofal l
themi schiefIgetupt owi t
ht hi
sguyt hough.I
l
iket hef actthathei soldert hanmeandata
stagewher eheknowswhathewant s.It'sabit
i
nt i
mi datingt hought hathei ssuccessf ul and
establ i
shedwhi leIam stillstar
ti
ngout .Onl y
ti
mewi l
ltellbutoneday ,comer ainorhi gh
wat er,mynamewi ll
bewr i
ttenonthest ars.

Sanel
e:y
ouknowit'
srudet
ost
arewhen
someoneisasl
eep

Hehehesothisonehasbeenawakeallt
his
t
ime?Ijustsmil
edandgavehim apeckonhis
l
ips.
Sanel
e:andwhyi
smypr
incessnotsl
eepi
ng?
Me:Idon'
tknowbabe.Ij
ustwokeupforno
r
easonanddecidedt
oadmi r
emyprize
Sanel
e:ohsoIam apri
ze?Whatwast
he
competi
ti
onmylove?
Me:nocompet
it
ionatal
l.Youwer
emyr
ewar
d
f
orbei
nganaughtygi
rl

Iwasrewardedwi t
haki ssthenheputmyhead
onhischestandwej usttal
ked.Yeahwecanbe
adul
tsli
kethatsowet alkedabouthi
s
daught
er'
sbirthdaynextweek.Hehasn't
pl
annedany t
hingandwast hinki
ngoftaki
ngher
andhergrannytolunch.Thathastobethe
mostboring6thbirt
hdayeverandI'myawning
j
ustthi
nkingaboutit.

Me:nanacan'
twedoal
it
tl
epart
yforThandoto
cel
ebrat
e.I
nvi
teaf
ewofherf
ri
endsandeither
bookat ableatspurofwimpyandmakei t
memor able.Gotothatconfect
ioneryatthe
garageandor deracakeforSaturdaythenlat
er
wecant akethem tothebeach

Sanele:t
hisi
swhymenneedwomeni nthei
r
l
ives.ThanksmyloveIwi
ll
bookatabl
eatspur
for12onSat ur
dayt
henhergr
ancaninvi
teher
fri
ends.
Me:l
etsmakeitmemorabl
emyl ov
eandIwi
l
l
bet
akingpi
ctur
esthr
oughtheday.
Sanel
e:y
ouknowIlovey
our
ight
?Sot
ell
me,
howdidthet
estgo?
Me:
howdi
dyouf
indout
?Wel
lIpassedbabe
Sanel
e:Ical
l
edtheoff
iceonTuesdayandHarr
y
tol
dmey ouhavegonefory
ourdri
verst
est
.I'
m
soproudofyou
Me:Iwant
edittobeasur
pri
sebutt
hankst
o
Har
ryforr
uini
ngit
Iwasget ti
ngdr owsynowsowedeci dedt o
sleepagai n.Iwokeupbef orehim andt ooka
showert henputonasummerdr essandwent
tomakebr eakfast .Hecamei nwhi l
eI 'm sti
ll
busyandImadehi m acupofcof f
ee.Weat e
breakf astthent ookawal kt othemar kettobuy
freshv eggiesf orlunch.WegothomeandIgot
busycooki ngandbaki ngcozhewant smuf fins
andbi scuitst oday .Hepul l
soutachai rand
promi sest ohel pme.Okhi shelpi stal kintome
andt astingev ery t
hi ng.Ican'tlieandsayIdon' t
enj oyhiscompanyandhi scr azyj okes.My
stomachi shur tingf rom laughingandhei snot
ev enlaughing.Thef ollowingdayIpackl unch
forhi m andmuf f i
nsonabi ggerl unchboxt hen
hewant sbi scuitsf orcof f
eeatt heof fice.When
hei sgoneIgetr eadyf orwor ktoo.Thef i
rst
thingIdowhenIgett hereistosi gnl eav efor
Friday."Mydaught er "needst obepamper ed
andIcantdoi tifI'm her e.Theydi dnotgi v
eme
anyhust l
esbutappr ovedi tsamet ime.On
Thur sdayaf ternoonIt ookat axi t
oDur banand
hewasal r
eadywai ti
ngf ormeandwedr ov e
straighthome.Icookeddi nnert henwewentt o
sleep.Thef ollowingdayIdr ovehi mt owor k
thenwentshoppi ngf orpr esentsandout fits.I
gothert woout fi
tsf ortomor rowandonef orher
grant henboughtherpr esent s.If etchedher
from school thenwewentt ot hesal oont odo
ourhai r
.It
'snowt imet ofetchSanel ef rom wor k.
Wewentt odi nneratMcDonal dt henwent
home.Thef ollowi ngmor ningi wentt of et chthe
caket henwentt oUml azi tofetchgr anny .Igave
hert henewout fi
tandMancwanel ooks
awesome.Wewi l
l sendashut tl
et ofet cht he
kidsat11butf ornowweneedt oenj oyasa
fami lyandgetr eady .Wegothomeandf ound
hisbr othersMusaandMongezi andy ounger
sisterBongi .Yhot hesi sterhasabi tofan
atti
tudebutMongezi isjustlikeMusa.
Bongi
:mybr
othert
ell
smethaty
ouar eat
emp?
Sothi
scl
ear
lymeansyouar
eafterhi
smoney

Weareatt
hebedroom f
etchi
ngt
hepr
esent
sas
i
tist
imetoleav
e.

Me:excuseme?YoudontknowmeandIdon'
t
appr
eciat
eyourassumpt
ion
Bongi:whatwi
llhappenwhenyourbeaut
yfades
cozthat'
sabouttheonlyt
hinggoi
ngforyou?

Iwant edsobadt osl apt hebadt asteoutout

hermout hbutrealisedt hatshei snotwor thit.I
carri
edt hepresent stot hecart hendr ov eoff
withNcwane, SaneandThandowhi let heot hers
foll
owedi nMusa' scar .Theki dsar r
ivedandwe
hadf uny hoo.Itookl otsofpi ctur
est henwe
tookt hem toUshakamar i
ne.Wel eftar ound6
thenThandowant edt ogowi thhergr an,
probablybecausethepr esentswer eoffl
oaded
offl
oadedherhouse.Wedr ovehomeand
Saneletoldmet oignorehissi ster
.Hemust
havesensedt hetension.Thisi swhatIhate
aboutspoiltr
ichkids.Theyl ookdownon
everyone.Igothomeandwentst r
aightt
othe
bedroom cozIwant edt otalktomom.Shewas
sohappyt ohearmyv oiceandwhi l
ewewer e
busyt al
ki
ngdadt ookt hephone.

Dad:whatdoy ousti
ll
wantwi thuscozyoutol
d
theworldaboutourprobl
emsandmadeusl ook
bad.Idonteverwanttoseey ouagai
norhear
yourvoi
ceev ersost
opbot heri
ngmywife.You
aredeadtome
[
05/
02,18:
54]Ki
ngKunt
a:
React
Comment Shar
e

Thi
sli
feIchose
Chapt
er22

Ishoul
dbeangr yorhurtbymyf ather'
ssharp
wordsbutIdidn'
tfeelanyt
hingasi nnothi
ng.I
sl
owlytookthephoneawayf r
om myearand
satdownont hebed.Ishouldgobackt ohe
l
oungetojointheothersbutIfeelli
kesleepi
ng.
Whatthehelliswrongwithmyf atherthough
cozIseri
ouslydonotunderstandhim.Sanele
cameinandsatnextt omeandt ookmyhand.

Sanel
e:Iknowt hatBongicanbeabi
tchat
ti
messopl easedon'tl
ethergett
oyoubabe.
I
'vespokentoher
Me:it'
snotthatmylove.Icamei nherecozI
wantedtotalktomom butdadt ookthephone
andtoldmet onevercontactt
hem.Hesai dI
'm
deadtothem
Sanel
e:t
heonl
yrevengeyoucangivehi
mist o
workhar
dandbesuccessful
.Prov
ehim wrong
andshowhi
mt hatyoucandoitwit
houthi
s
money
Me:I'
m notst
ressedaboutt
hiscozI'
vebeen
wit
houtthem f
ortoolongi
tsjustt
hatIwas
shockedbyhisoutbur
stasi
fIdidsomethi
ng
wrong.
Sanel
e:f
orgetabouthi
m myl
oveandcomeand
j
oinus.

Hegav emeabi gwarm hugt henwewentt o

thelounge.Musa'sgir
lfr
iendishereandthe
guysar emakingfi
reoutside.Idon'
tsee
Mongezi thenIaskSaneleandhet ell
smet hat
hewentt obuymeatandbooze.Imadesal ads
andpapi nthemeant i
mewhi leQueenBi s
chatti
ngupast orm onherphone.Musa' s
gir
lf
riendBaboishelpingmei nthekit
chen.
Mongezi cameandt heystartedthebraai
.
Sanelepour edmeagl assofwi neandIpol it
ely
decli
ned.Ist il
ldon' ttr
ustmy sel fwithalcohol so
I'
m betteroffwi thwat er.Shakaal socamewi th
Sinoandwehi ti
tof fi
mmedi atel y.Wefinished
cookingandwentt ojointheguy soutsi
de.
Everyoneisdr inkingexceptmeandI 'm notev en
bothered.Hel lIusedt odr i
nkal onesowhycan' t
Ibet heonlyonenotdr inki
ngf orachange?You
wouldsweari twasapl annedt hi ngcozsoon
theplacewascr awl i
ngwi t
hpeopl emost lytheir
fri
endsandt heybr oughtmor eal coholand
meat .Wewer eenj oy i
ngour selv eswi t
hf amily
andf ri
ends.Ar ound1Iwenti nsidet oputona
j
acketast heweat herischangi ngt henBongi
foll
owedmei nside.

Bongi:
youmi ghttr
ytofool mybrot
herinto
thi
nki
ngy ouareasaintbutIcanseer i
ght
thr
oughyou.Youar ebusyfli
rt
ingwithShaka
ri
ghtundermybr ot
her'
snoseandIwi l
lexpose
him.Doyouev enknowt hatmybrotheris
mar
ri
ed?
Me: Iseri
ouslydonotknowwhaty oupr oblem
wi t
hmei sbutIpr omisey ounow, Iam notand
hav eneverbeenoract edlikeasai nt.I'
m sure
betweent het woofusIam t hewi ckedwi t
ch
from thewestandf or
tunatel
yf orme, y
our
brotherknowsal lther
eist oknowaboutme.
SanelelovesmeandIl ovehi m.Iknowabout
Zandilewhohappenst obeMusa' sexandhasa
babybyanot hermemberoft hefami lyeven
thoughshewant sSanelet obeaf at her.We
don'thavesecr etssobeforey outell meabout
hissidechicks,iknowaboutt hem t oo.
Bongi
:what
everi
tist
haty
oudi
dtomybr
other
I
..
.
Sanel
e:Bongi
weshutupandl
eav
emybedr
oom

Heisali
t t
let
ipsyandhasthatcharmingsmil
e
t
hatleavesmeweak.Iputont hejacketandhe
wearsonehimselfthenwewentbackout .
Peopl leftafter2am andwewentt osl eep.I
wokeupat10andmadebr eakf astf orev eryone.
Theywokeuponebyonet hem wesatdown
andat e.It ookthecarandwentt obuyaf ew
thi
ngst henmadel atel unch.Wel eftt hat
afternoonf orMar itzbur gandcar ri
edonwi t
h
wor k.Wef i
nall
ycl osedont he15t hof
DecemberandSanel ecamet of etchmeasI
won' tbegoi ngbackt her einJanuar y.Ienj oyed
wor kingher eandhav emadef ri
ends.I '
m goi ng
tomi sst hem butt hi sist hebegi nningofmyl if
e.
Itoldmyt herapistt hatI '
ml eav i
ngandheur ged
met ocar r
yonwi tht her apyunt i
l Iam conf i
dent
aboutmyheal i
ng.Dur banher ewecomet hen.
JohnandIar eget tingcl oserbyt hedayandhe
tel
lsmet hathei snotspeaki ngtohi sbr other
andf ather.Wel lIdi dn'tmakehi mt aket hat
deci sionbuthedi di tallonhi sown.Wear ri
ved
i
nDur banonThur sdayaf ternoont henJohn
calledt ot ellmet hathei sal soinDur banwi t
h
hisf ri
endst ospendt heweekend.Thef ollowing
daywewentt omeethi m athishotelandl et
's
j
ustsayheli
kesSanel eandt hefactthathe
tr
eatsmewel l
.OnSat ur
dayweal lwentto
Max'spl
aceandj ustchi
ll
edwi thhisfri
endsand
Sane'
s.Imaynothav eareal famil
ybutt hese
onesareal
lthatIneed.

John:Iaskedmom t odirectmet oherpar

ents
andshedi d.Theywer esohappyt oseemeand
Itol
dthem ev eryt
hingandt hatyouwouldalso
l
iketoseet hem.Theyhav einvi
tedusfor
Chri
stmassot hatar i
tualcanbeperfor
medon
ustocleanseusoft hi
sdemoni ccurse.
Me:Iwi
l
lspeakt
oSanelebutIdon'
tthi
nkhe
wi
ll
haveaprobl
em wi
ththat
John:
let'
sdot
hissisandhav
esomenormal
i
ty
i
nourliv
eswhi
lethoseonesfi
ghti
tof
f.

Wel
eftl
ateatni
ghtandIt
oldSanel
eabout
John'sproposal andhewashappywi t
hi t
.He
tol
dmet hathewi llspendChr i
stmaswi t
h
MancwaneandThandoashedoesn' tfeell
ike
goinghomei nthechaot i
ci nv
ironment.I
beggedhi mtot akeThandot omeethi sf amil
y
onChr i
stmasandhet oldmef latoutthathe
wouldnev erri
skhi sdaught er
'sli
feli
ket hat.He
doesn'tt
rusthisf at
hersi ncehekill
edt heking'
s
sonforpositi
on.Yhoooo! !
Befor
eIlef
twithmybr ot
herSanet ookme
shoppi
ngashewant edmet olookgoodinfr
ont
ofournewfamily
.Heev engavememoneyand
Idon'
tevenknowwhatt hi
sisfor.Johncameto
fet
chmeont hemor ni
ngofthe24t h.Wewil
l
comebackont he26th.

Sanel
e:becarefulmylov
eandtakecar
eof
your
self
.I'
l
lcall
y ouf
rom ti
met
ot i
me
Me:
Iwi
ll
thankshey
.HerChr
ist
masclot
hesare
i
nmysui
tcasecozt
hel
it
tl
emadam hasbeen
l
ooki
ngev
ery
wher
eforcl
othesandpr
esent
s
Sanel
e:yhoothanksLolo.I
'
m abadpar
entcozI
complet
elyfor
got.Thankyou.

Me:
anddon'
tfor
getMancwane'
spr
esent

Iboughtheraf ootmassagecozmenar e
hopelesswi t
hpr esent s.Hehuggedmeand
tookmet othecar .IlefthisChr i
stmaspr esent
onthedr esserandIwi l
lsendhi m atext
tomor r
owmor ning.IhuggedThandoev en
thoughshedoesn' tunder standwhyIhav et o
l
eav e.IthenhuggedSot obeandwel eft.My
brotherandIlov eRnbanddeephousesowe
playdeephouseal lthewaywhenwegott o
UMt atahegav emet hekey sandof fwego.We
arri
vedatTshol omnqal atei ntheafter
noonand
theexcitementj ustmadeef eell
i
keIam home.
It
'sabi gfamil
ybutwhenIsawacousi nofmi ne
(Mbuso)whol ooksj ustl i
keJamesIst arted
shaki
ngespecial
lywhenhewant edtohugme.
Johnsawwhatwashappeni ngandqui ckl
y
expl
ainedwhil
euncleBubele(dad'syounger
brot
her)tookmet othecouchandt heygav e
meagl assofwater.Wil
lIevergetov ert
his?
Onlyti
mewi l
ltel
l
[
05/
02,
18:
54]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose

Chapt
er23

Iwasgi v
enabot tl
eofwat erwhi l
eIdidwhatthe
therapisthadt oldme, tovisuali
seabouta
peaceful placewhenev erthepani catt
ack
stri
kes.Mypeacef ulplacei sSanelesoIjust
visual
izedhi ssmi l
ewhi leheisplayingwith
Thandoandbef orelongIwasok.Onest epata
ti
mehehadsai dandI '
m gladIhav eacoping
mechani sm.Thi siswhoIam, mylif
eandIcan't
beembar rassedabouti t.Idri
nkhalfthebottl
e
ofwat erandIcanseet hatmybr otheri
s
wor
ri
edbutIassurehi
mt hati
twasaf
leet
ing
momentandithaspassed.

Mbuso:I
'm sor
ryutri
ggeredthepani
cat
tack.I
f
youwantmet obescarcethenIwil
lsot
hatyou
canbecomf or
tabl
e
Me:it
'snotyourfaultbr
oandont hecontr
ary,I
wouldli
keyout omeonmyf acesothatIcan
getusedtoitanduset oasmyf ocal
pointto
myhealingprocess.That'
sifyoudon'tmind
Mbuso:
notatal
l
.I'
mjusthappyy
ouar
eher
e.
Bubel
e:Ihat
ewhaty
ourbrot
herdi
dtoyoubut
wearefamil
yandwewil
lshowyounot
hingbut
l
ove

Theywerenotl
yingaboutthelovepar
t.Thi
sis
abigfami
lyl
ikeextendedfamil
ybigandwe
don'
tknowhowt oaddressthem cozmymom
anddadfamil
yisthesame.Thebot t
om li
neis
thatwear ewel comeandev erythi ngisdone
withsmi les.Lat ethatni ghtabl ackgoati s
slaught eredandabi tofbloodpour edinto
wat erandsomeher bst hatt heysayar efami ly
herbst hent heyt ookbot hofusbehi ndthe
cattlekr aalandbat huswhi leapol ogisi
ngt othe
ancest or sorwhat ev eritistheywer e
apol ogisingt o.I 'm notcl uedupaboutt hespi rit
wor ldbutI 'mj ustgl adtobeher esur roundedby
thesepeopl et hatIwoul ddowhat everthey
wantust odoany t
hi ngthatt heyt hinkwi l
l help
ri
doft hiscur se.Mymat ernal gr andparent sare
abi tyoungt houghbutt henIr emember edt hat
mom wast hei ronlydaught erandshewas
muchy oungert handad.Mygr andmaj ust
want smet osi tnextt oherandt ellherallabout
myl ife.Shei shappyt oknowt hatI '
m doing
somet hingaboutmyl if
eandt hatIam at tending
counsel ling.Mypar ent swer et heonl yonest o
engagei nt hissi nf
ul actsot heyj ustneedt o
acceptt hatt heyar ewr onganddosomet hi ng
abouti t
.Ifeel formymot hert houghcozIhav e
af eel
ingthatshehadnochoi cei nthemat ter
anddoesn' tknowanybet ter.Shewas15when
shehadJamesandherl i
fechanged.Shemi ght
hav econtinuedwi t
hherst udiesandmadea
namef orher selfbuttr
ut hi sthatsheneedst o
dosomet hingaboutherl ife.Shei sa
businesswomanandhasmor emoneyt handad
event houghatt imesIf eel l
ikeshei sscar edof
daddydear est.Idon'treallyknowmuchabout
theirr
elati
onshi pastheywer enottheeasy
goingpeopl e.Comet ot hinkofi t
,mom di dn't
reall
ysmi lemuchexceptwhenshewaswi th
herkids.Mygr andmaisani nquisit
iveperson
andsheev enaski fIhav eaman.Bef orei could
answert hough, Johnst eppedi nandt ol
dt hem
aboutSanel eandIcoul dn' thel psmili
ng.

Mbuso:Icanseet
hatsomeonei
sinl
ove.Look
att
hatsmile
John:heisagoodguyandIhav
emethim and
spentsomet i
mewitht
hem.Hereal
l
ylov
esmy
si
sterandthatmakesmehappy.
Grandma:I
'
m sohappyt
haty
ouf
oundsomeone
t
ol ovei
nal
lthi
smess
Gr
andpa:didy out
ell
him abouty
ourpast
mzukul
u?(grandki
d)
Me:
Idi
dmkhul
uandheaccept
edmeasIam
Gr
andpa:
Ilov
ehi
m al
ready

Yhoot hi
sisamoder nfami l
yandt heycantal
k
abouteverythingwi t
hnor eserv
ations.Ilove
thisfami
lyandIsl eptpeacefull
yt hatday.The
foll
owingdayt houghwewokeupear lyand
start
edwi t
hl unch.Ical
ledmybabyandt ol
d
him wherehispr esenti
sandwi shedhi ma
mer r
yXmas.Iev enspoket oThandoandshe
wassoexci tedt otalkt
omeandt hankedme
forthepresent.Iboughthert wo,onef rom me
andonef rom herdaddy .IthinkI'
m get t
ingt he
hangoft hispar ent i
ngt hingandI '
m gl adthat
Sanemademeapar tofhi sdaught er'sli
fe.We
fi
nishedcooki ngt hengotr eadyf orchur ch.I
hav en'tbeent ochur chf ory earsandev enwhen
Ididi twasj ustt opleasemypar ents.If el
tso
l
ostt heret hatIcoul dn'twai tforittobeov er .
Wear ealleat i
ngl unchatgr an'splaceand
dishingoutf orev eryoni sli
kef eedinganar my .
Theyar enoti ntot hegi ftsexchangi ngcul ture
butj ustpr efert ogether ness.Lat ert herewasa
barber cue( braai)andt hoset hatdrinkendul ged
themsel v es.If eel soatpeaceher eandi nt he
afternoonIgotacal lf
rom mom.

Me:
youwon'tbel
i
evewhereIam r
ightnow
mom andIwi
shyouwereheret
oo
Mom: pl
easet
ellmewherei
sthi
spl
acet
hat
hasgotyousoexci
ted?
Me:
I'
m wi
thy
ourf
ami
l
yandy
ourpar
ent
smi
ss
yousomuch.Gr
anevenwantedyournumber
s
butIwant
edtor
uni
tpastyoufir
st
Mom: textmehernumberandIwi l
lcal
lher
.
Yourfatherlef
tear
li
ertodaywit
hJamesandI'
m
j
ustlonely.Imissmyfamilyandmychi
ldr
en
Me:
wemi
ssy
out
ooMom andwel
ovey
ou

Icouldswearshewascr yingamdIdoesn' ttake

ageni oust oseet hatshei sfarf r
om happy .I
thinkit'
shi ght imeMr sorr athermi ssNy athi
l
eav esthisf arceofamar r
iageandbui ldal if
e
forherself .Shei stooy oungf orthis.At42she
canst i
llfindanot herman.Ther e'sal otof
mkhul ubaeoutt herebutt herapyisheronl y
soluti
onf ornow.Enoughabouther .Isenther
gran'snumbert henwentt oj ointheot hers.We
sleptaftermi dni ghtandt r
yaswemi ght,
we
couldn'tleav et hef oll
owingday .Wewentt o
eastLondonf orsomef uni nthebeach.Ical l
ed
Sanelet ot ellhimt hatwewi l
lcomet omor row.
Sanel
e:Iknewyoucoul dnevercometoday
babecozIcouldfeeltheexci
tementi
ny our
voi
ce.I
'mjustgladthatyouarehappy
Me:
thanksforthepresentmyl
ove.Johngav
eit
t
omel at
eyesterday

Itwasabeaut ifulguesswat cht hatI'

v ealway s
eyed.Sot hought fulofhim.Wehadf unat
nahoonbeachandMbusomadesur et hatIwas
comf ortable.Howdi dmyf at hert ur
noutt obe
suchamonst ercozhecomesf rom al ovi
ng
family?Wedr ov ebackhomei nt heafternoon
andwhenwegott hereasheepwas
slaughteredj ustf orfunandIcoul dnev ersay
not ofreshmeat .Thef ol
lowi ngmor ningthough
wehadt oleav ethem i npeace.Wewer egi v
en
l
ot soffreshmeatandputi nt hecool erbox .I
hadt odr i
vecozmybr otherhadamassi ve
hangov er.Igott othegar ageandboughti ce
thenputitinthecool
eranddr
oveoff.WhenI
gothomemybabi esweresohappytoseeme
andIdidn'treal
i
sehowmuchImi ssedthem
unti
lIgothome.Theset woar
emywor l
dandI
am whoIam nowbecauseoft hei
rlove.
[
05/
02,
18:
54]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose

Chapt
er24

Itwasgoodt obebackandIcoul dseet hatI

wasmi ssed.Iaskedhowt heirXmaswasand
Thandocoul dn'
tstoptal
king.Wowmybabycan
besuchal iv
ewirethoughandherener gytoday
suggest sthatshe'
shadmor ethanenough
candyf oroneday .Icanseet hechocolate
wr appersandIknowherChr ist
masst ocking
wasl oadedwi thcandy.Herfatherhascooked
butwhenhesawt hef r
eshmeatheputi tonthe
stovesamet ime.Iam dogt i
redcozdr i
ving
from EastLondont oDurbanisnochild'splay.
Mybr ot herwasasl eephal fthet imeandwhen
hewokeuphedr ankaf ewny anat ocur ethe
hangov erandendedupget t
ingdr unk.Lucki ly
hei ssleepinginDur bant odayt obewi thhi s
fri
endsot herwi
sewewoul dn'thav elethi m dri
ve.
Iwentt ot akeashowerandwhenIwasdone
weat edi nner.Whent hemeatwasr eadyheat e
wi t
hhisdaught er.Theyar esocut etoget herbut
i
t'sstil
lnotenought omakemewantmyown.
Myonl ywor rytheseday sismymot hercozi t
's
clearassnowt hatshei smi ser ableandIpr ay
thatshef indsst r
engt htowal kawayandnev er
l
ookback.Iknowi t'snoteasybutIbel ievein
herstrengt handhopet hatshedr awsst rength
from meandmov eonwi thherl i
fe.Ther e'salot
shecanexper i
enceout sidethatf arceofa
mar ri
ageandt hatt imeofwonder ingwhat
peoplewoul dsayi sl onggone.Iwi l
lhav eto
fi
ndawayt oconv i
nceherandsel lt
hei deaof
freedom andhappi nesst oher .Backt ot heones
beforeme, ijoi
nedt hem inplay inggamesbut
befor elongIwasdr owsyashell andneededmy
bed.It ookThandot obedami dstherr esi
stance
andr eadherabedtimestory3t i
mesbef or
eI
fellasleep.Somemot herIam right.Thekidjust
coul dn'tf
allasl
eepsoIguessIl ovethesound
ofmyv oi
cet oomuchthati
tsoot hedmet o
sleep.Iwokeupi nourbedthoughandf ound
him st ari
ngatmewi thawickedsmi l
e.

Me:
andwhyar
eyousmi
l
ingal
one?
Sanel
e:y
ouwer
esmi
li
ngi
nyoursleepand
damnwoman,y
ouar
esobeaut
if
ul wheny
ou
smil
e.
Me:maybeIwasdreami
ngofmyhandsome
pri
ncewho'
sgoi
ngtocomeandsavemef r
om
thefr
ogi
nfr
ontofme

Hethr
ewapi l
lowatmeandthatst
art
eda
pi
l
lowfightt
hatendedwi
thussweati
ngand
pantingaf t
erast eamyl ovemaki ngsessi on.We
arecr azyl i
ket hatbutIguesst hat'swhywear e
attr
act edt oeachot her.Wef ellasleep
i
mmedi atelyaftert hatandwewokeupt he
foll
owi ngdayr efreshed.Wewentt ot hebeach
todayj usttochi llasaf ami l
yandj usthav ef un.
Ont he30t hwet ookherhomecozweneed
adultf unnow.Wear egoi ngt owi l
dcoastsun
withShaka, Musa, Mongez iandt hei rwomen.
Weusedt wocar sanddr ovet herej ustaf ter
l
unch.Wecheckedi ntoourr oomsandhi tthe
watercozi t'
sscor chinghotout si
de.Lat erwe
wentt onewscaf ef ordi nneranddr inks.Wehad
funev eni fIsaysomy self.Ilov edanci ngandI
dancedt heni ghtawayi nheel snogal .The
foll
owi ngdaywehi tthewat erwor l
dmostof
theaf ternoont hendeci dedt odr i
vet okegf or
dinner.Iwai terthei rprawnsandt hel ady
broughtusourdr inksandt ookouror der.I
decidedt ohav eagl assofwi net ocel ebrate
everythingI '
'v
ebeent hroughbutaf teronesi pI
changedmymi ndandpr efer
edjuice.Ther e
reall
yisnot hingwr ongwi t
hthetastebutIj ust
didn'tf
eel l
i
kei t.Somecommot ionatt heot her
tabledrawmyat t
ent i
onbutourfoodar r
ived
andIf orgotabouti t.Weat eourfoodt hen
withoutnoticeIf el
tt hesi
deofmyf acebur ning
afterahotsl ap.

Andt
hen!
!!
!

Iturnedmyf aceasSanel ejumpedof fhi

schair
andchar gedatJamesashei st heonewhohad
clappedme.Hi sbrother'
sandShakahel ped
him asJames' fr
iendsalsojoinedinonthefi
ght.
Itwaswor ldwarZzzzi nthereandthewaiter
s
andot herpatr
onssepar at
edt hem.

James:Banoi
smywomanandnoonewi
l
ltake
herawayfr
om meandl
i
ve
Gir
l:James??Howaboutme?Howcanyou
fi
ghtforanot
herwomanwhenI'
m her
e?
James:
shutupNoxol
o.Banoy
oloi
smi
ne
Sanel
e: shei
sy oursi
sterman.Youbl
oodsi
ster
forcr
yingoutloud
Shaka:
what
???
?
Gi
rl
:what
?Youar
esi
ckJames
James:Iguesst
hatwhyy
oul
ovemehey
.
Banoy
olodon'tl
eav
emebabepl
ease
Me:YouaredeadtomeJamesj ustli
keour
f
athersai
d.Iwantnot
hingtodowithyouand
youneedhelp.Iwi
l
lneverl
eaveSanel
eforyou
James:
wewi
l
lseeaboutt
hat
Musa:
hol
dupbr
o.What
'sgoi
ngonher
e?
Sanel
e:t
hispsy
choabusedhi
sownsi
sterf
or
year
sandnowheisobsessed

Peopl
ewer
espeechl
essandt
ookJamesand
hi
scroni
esoutoft
hepubandwecar
ri
edon
wi
thourdinner
.

Sanele:
I'
m sor
rybabeIdidn'
tmeant
obl
urtt
his
out.Iwasangr
yatthi
ssleezebal
l
Me:don'twor
rybabeI
'm notashamedatwhat
happenedcozInowknowt hati
twasn'
tmy
faul
t

Hehuggedmet henkissedmeontheforehead.
Thisi
sonekissthatmakesmefeell
iketell
ing
thewholeworl
dthatIhaveaman.Wef orgot
aboutwhat'
shi
snameandusheredthenew
yeari
nhighspi
rit
s.Weonlycr
awledi
nbedaf t
er
4am.Lif
e
[
05/
02,
18:
54]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose

Chapt
er25
WhenIwokeupmyt hroatwasdr y.Itmustbe
thesmokef rom l astni ghtcozpeopl ewer e
smoki ngli
kechi mney s.Iwokeupandwentt o
themi nibarfridgeandgotmy selfabot tl
eof
wat er
.Idrankal l ofitt henwentt obrushmy
teeth.Icheckedt het imeandi twasaf t
er12
yhooo.Thest r
anget hingt houghist hatI'
m stil
l
sleepysoIwentbackt obedandf oundasmal l
boxonmypi l
low.Sanel eissl
eepingsoundl yin
hispill
owandIwonder edi fhei sreall
ysleeping
orjustpretending.Iopenedt heboxandf ounda
ri
ng.Ilookedati tf orwhatseemedl i
kean
eterni
tyandwonder edwhatIdi dri
ghtthat
mademet ober ewar dedsogener ously.I'
m not
achur chgoerandI 'vedonet hingsIam not
proudofy ethest illshowsHi sl oveformeby
bringi
ngbl essingaf terbl essi
ng.Icriednot
becausemyhear tisachi ngbutbecauset hi
s
mansawmewor thyenought obehi swi f
eand
mot herofhiski ds.Icr iedbecausehel ooked
beyondthebrokenexteriorandst
ri
vedto
uncoverthebeaut
yinside.Icri
edbecausehe
vowedtoheal myhear tandshowmel oveand
thi
sistesti
monytot hat.Mostofal
lIcri
ed
becauseIam content.

Sanele:ifthosearenott
earsofj oythenI
suggesty ouwipethem cozwear epastthat
stageinourl i
fenow.Ineedy outobemy
anchor,mysunshi neandmysani t
y.Ineedyou
tobemyj oy,mysmi l
ekeeperandt hemot hert
o
myki ds.Wor dsal
onecan'texpresshowIf eel
abouty ousoBanoy ol
oNy athiwouldy oumake
anhonestmanoutofmeandbemywi f
e?
Me:
yesbabyIwi
l
l

Youknowthati
ndescri
bablefeeli
ngwher eyou
aremoret
hanjusthappy?Wel lIam ther
eand
tr
yasImightIj
ustcan'tex
plainit.Hetookt
he
boxfr
om meandputt heri
ngonmyf i
ngert
hen
kissedt her ing.Weshar edal onghugf oll
owed
byaki ss, apassi onat ekisst hatmakesy ou
ev enf or gety ournameorwhoy ourmamai s.
It
'st hatl oadedki sst hathasapr omiset oit.
Ther e'sadeepmessagei nt hiskissanda
promi seofl oveandev erythingt hatcomeswi t
h
i
t.I twasn' tlongbef oreIwasont opofhi m and
hegui dedhi msel finandwet ravell
edt oeternity
andback.Wet ookanapt henwokeupandt ook
ashower .I'
m bey ondhungr yandIknowhei s
hungr yt ooashei sgr umpy .Wewentdownt o
hav el unchandcal ledt heot hersbuttheywer e
stillasl eep.Wef inishedeat ingthenwentt ot he
beachandf oundt hem t here.Mongezi sawt he
ri
ngf irstandcongr atulatedus.Theot hers
followedandIhav et oadmi tthatt hi
sist he
bestf eel ingi nthewor ld.Wespentmostoft he
after nooni nthewat ert henwentbackt oour
roomsl at e.Ihadami ssedcal lf
r om mybr other
anddeci dedt or eturnt hecal l
.Hewant edto
wishmeahappynewy earandwhenIt oldhim
aboutt
heengagementhewasspeechl ess.I
don'
tknowwhowasmor ehappybet weenhim
andIbutit'
sgoodtohav eaf amil
ythatis
behi
ndy ou.IusedSandil
e'sphonetocal l
my
motherandshewasn' thappyatallsoIdecided
nottotel
lhermynews.

Me:what'
swr
ongmom?Icant
ell
thaty
ou'
re
nothappy
Mom:yourfatherbeatmeupyest
erdaywhenI
t
oldhi
mt hatImissmyparent
s.Heleftaf
ter
t
hatandhasnotcomeback
Me:Iwantyout
obehonestwi
thmemom.Do
youl
ovehim?
Mom: l
ove???
?Ist
oppedlovingyourfat
her
whenJameswasborn.It
riedtoleavehim once
andheaskedwhatIwoul
dt ell
peoplewhen
theywantt
oknowthefat
herofmyki ds
Me:
thenwhydon'
tyoudi
vor
cehi
m now?You
areri
chandy ouhavealucr
ati
vebusinessthat
doesn'tneedyout
obet her
e24/7.Besides,we
areolderandyoucan'
tsayyouarestaying
becauseofus
Mom:I'
m notevenmarr
iedtoyourf
athercoz
weweretooscaredt
ogot ohomeaffair
ssince
wehadthesamesurnamesoi don'
treal
lyneed
adi
vor
ce

Idon'tbelievethi
s.Thi swomanhaspr operty
thather entsouttobusi nesseshereandi n
Mar gateyetshei shol dingont oameani ngless
rel
ationshipdisguisedasmar ri
age.Sheneeds
helpbutshehast ot aket hef i
rstst
ep.Oncea
manst art
sbeat i
ngy ou, thereisnost opping
him.Whoknowswher ehei srightnow?I '
m sure
heist i
redofherandt hef ai
ryt
aleIlongov er.I
wentbackt omymanaf terthecallandwej ust
cuddledont hecouch.Iam goi ngtobeMr s
Sibi
y ainthenotsodi stantfutureandi tkinda
soundsgoodhey .Wewentt odi nnerthenslept
earlytodaycozev eryoneistired.Ont hesecond
wewentt ostMi chael sonseaandt hereisa
newy earbasht her ewi t
hmostoft heDur ban
djsandaf rot
ainmentar ti
sts.Thismeans
dancingansmor edanci ngf orme.Ast heyare
celebratingthenewy earwi t
hbooze, Iam
shakingwhatmymamagav eme.Imi ghtbea
futureMr sbutthatdoesn' tstopmef rom li
vi
ng.
Iwon' tletmom' ssi tuati
onst opmef r
om
enjoyingmyl if
e.Sheknowsshehasmysuppor t
whenev eranneedsi tandshecanmov etoone
ofhernumer ousf l
atshoul dshedeci detoleave
thatmonst ershecal lsahusband.
(Busydayaheadsot
hismi
ghtbet
heonl
y
chapter
)
[
05/
02,
18:
54]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose

Chapt
er26
Wehadagr eatdayatStMi chael sandIgott o
knowSi nomt haandBabobet ter.Sinoand
Shakaar et r
adi t
ionallymar r i
edandst i
llpl
anni ng
thewhi teweddi ng.Theyl ooksogoodt oget her
andy oucant ellthattheyl ov eeachot her.We
fi
nal l
ywentbackt othehot el after10cozBabo
wasget tingreal l
ydr unkandunr uly
.The
foll
owi ngdayaf t
erbr eakfastwecheckedout
andl ef t
.Imi ghthav eenj oy edmyst ayatt he
wildcoastbutImi ssmyl i
ttleangel .Yhoy ou
woul dswearIgav ebirthtot hi slit
tlecreature.
Event houghIl ov eherwi thmyhear tbutIst il
l
hav en'tchangedmymi ndabouthav i
ngmyown
andSanel edoesn' thaveapr oblem wi thit.As
l
ongashehasmeandThando, hi
sl i
feis
compl ete.Iam dr ivi
ngcozt heguy sarest il
l
drinking.Wear etravell
ingwi thShakaandSi no
i
nourcarwhi leMusai swi thMongezi .We
arrivedi nDur banandIl eftt heguy sandwentt o
fetchThando.Shei ssohappyt oseemeandI
takeheroutf oricecr eam andl atertothe
mov iesthenwedr ovehome.Wef oundt he
threebr otherssleepingandBabost il
l drinking.
Thischi ckhasst ami naIgi vehert hat.Ist arted
dinnerandmydaught erist ell
i
ngmeaboutt his
fri
endofher s.Youwoul dswearIknowherby
thewayshekeepson.Ienj oyhercompany
thoughandshei sawel comedi str
actioni nmy
l
ife.Shewentt owakeupherdadwhenIwas
almostdonewi t
ht hepot s.IguessI 'vest ar t
ed
boringherwi t
hmychi l
disht al
kl ol
.Ifi
ni shed
cooki ngandl ai
dt het able.Fatheranddaught er
wal kedi nandhei ssosi nfull
ysexyi njusthi s
sweat pantsandbar efoot edandbar echest
mmmh.Il ovethisdar kchocol atewit
h
ever ythi
ngIhav eandi can'thel pbutsmi le.He
givesmeapeckont hecheekandpul l ahi gh
chai randsi t
sdownwi t
hhi sdaught eronhi slap.
Shei stell
i
nghim aboutt hemov i
ewewat ched
earlier.

Sanel
e:t
hanksmyl
ovef
ormaki
ngmydaught
er
f
eel
lov
ed.
Me:youar
ewelcomebabe.Shei
stooador
abl
e
nott
obeloved.

Hisbr othersalsowokeupandwehaddi nner

thenIbat hedThandoandputheri npjs.Her
fatherreadherabedt imest oryandshewas
knockedoutbef oreyoucansaygoodni ght .We
alsowentt obedandnowwehav etothink
aboutt hef uture.Hewi l
lhavetosend
represent ati
vesathomet opayt helobolabut
whowi l
l hesendashi sparentsareagai nst
any t
hingt hathast odowi thmeasi fdaddy
dearestknowsaboutmyRushday sormay be
hewasmycust omerinmydazedandbl acked
outday s.Theset hi
ngshappenespeci al
lywi tha
sleezeliket hatoldman.Any waywewi l
l fi
nda
wayar oundt hi
sandasf ormeIwi l
lsendt hem
tomygr andpar entscozmypar entsareamess
thatstil
l needst obesor t
edout .Talki
ngabout
mypar entsIcan'tgethol dofmymom si nce
thatdayandIam abi twor ri
edcozherphone
hasbeenof fsince.Whati fsomet hi
nghas
happenedt oherandshehasnoonet ohel pher.
Icall
edJohnandaskedi fhehasspokent o
mom r ecentl
yandhet oldmet hathecan' tget
holdofheraswel l
.Iaskedi fhehassi sNomsa's
phonenumberandhesai dhehadsoi asked
himtoenqui refr
om her .Al l
thisti
memybl ack
bearisbrushingmyheadj usttocalm medown.
Waiti
ngf orJohn'scallislikewai t
ingfora
l
ifet
imeandi tsnotev ent hreemi nutes.My
phoner i
ngsandSanel epicksi tupaf t
erjustone
ri
ngandt alksforaf ewmi nutesthenendt he
call
.

Sanele:sheisatStPatr
ick'
shospi t
alatBizana
aft
erbei ngbeat
entoapul pbyy ourdad.Nomsa
hadtor ushhertohospit
alcozfortunatel
yshe
candr i
ve.Yourfat
herhasn'tev
enpai dhera
vi
sitandshei si
nacr i
ti
calconditi
on.Johni s
goi
ngt her
eri
ghtnowsohecanmake
arr
angementtotr
ansf
erhert
oMargat
eli
fe
hospi
tal.

Ijustf eltdef eated.I t

'sclearasdayt hatJames
i
shi sfat her'
ssonandbot hoft hem needa
psy chiat ri
cev aluationandt obeadmi ttedi nthe
nuthouse.Nowt hathei stir
edofher ,hest arts
maki ngherhi spunchi ngbag.Wecan' tleave
nowwi thMrwhat 'shisnamedr unkandI 'm
ti
redsowewi ll
got heretomor rowmor ning.The
followingmor ningwegotr eadywi thThando
andal lleft.Mybr othercalledtosayt he
ambul ancei sal readyoni t
swayt oMar gate
hospi tal sowecanwai tt
here.That '
smuch
bet terasIdi dn'
twantt obumpi nt odadby
mi stakeorhi sbl astedson.Wear riv
edbef ore
them andwai t
ed.Whi lewear ewai t
ingi nthe
par kingl ot,Sanel eusedt histimet ot ellhis
daught eraboutourpl anst ogetmar ri
ed.
Sanel
e:mypri
ncess,yourmot
herandIhave
deci
dedtogetmarri
edsowear enowengaged
Thando:
wowwi
l
lIbeaf
lowergi
rldaddy
?
Sanel
e:t
hatgoeswi
thoutsay
ingmypr
incess
Thando:
andmommyandIwi
l
ldoourhai
rand
nai
ls
Me:ofcozmyangel
thenwewi
l
lbuyy
oua
pr
incessdr
ess
Thando:
Ilov
eyoumommyanddaddy

Ncooht hischil
dknowsj usthowt omakemy
dayandl if
tmyspi ri
t.Icouldn'
thelpbutsmile
l
ikeamot herfckr
.Theambul ancefi
nall
yarrived
fol
lowedbyJohnandwewentt ogreethim.Hi s
expressionconfir
medmyf ears.Whenthey
weredonewi t
hhert heyallowedust oseeher .
Johnst ayedbehindwi t
hThandowhi l
ewewent
i
nandmyhear tsankwhenIsawheral l
bruised
andbat ter
ed.I fthisi
slovet
henI'
sratherbe
hatedcozt hisisnotagoodsit
e.Howcany ou
dot hi
st oadef encelessper
son,moresowhen
youcl ai
mt ol oveher?Ifmom doesn'
tdecideto
l
eav eaftert hi
st henIwil
ldr
agheroutofthis
rel
ationship.
[
05/
02,
18:
54]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose

Chapt
er27

Wewer enotal
lowedt ostayinherwar dfora
l
ongt imeandseei nghersohel pl
essmademe
reali
sejusthowluckyIam t ohavegat her
edt he
couragetowalkaway .Whatthiswomani s
goingthroughistoohar dtocompr ehendand
ri
ghtnowIwi shIhadt hewisdom tohelpher
andwi pethepainfrom herheartandbody .Her
problemsaredeepert hanphy si
calpainand
until
lsheacknowledgest hatshehasapr oblem
andsheneedshel pt henit'
sgoingtobedi f
fi
cult
forhert oheal .Whatwecandoatt hismoment
i
st osel lthei deaoff reedom andhappi nessto
herandev enent iceheri nt owal kingawayf r
om
thismonst er.Fr om t henoni twi llbesy st em's
go.Howst rangei tist hatIgr ewupt hinki ngmy
parent shadt hebestmar riageev er ,not
knowi ngt hatt heyar ehi dingsuchsacr il
ege.It'
s
truethaty oucannev erj udgeabookbyi ts
cov ercozt othewor l
d, theset wower et he
epitomeIhappi nessandst abi l
it
yandmydad
alway spr eachedandhel pedcounsel y oung
coupl es.Ifonl yt heyknewt hatt heyar enotev en
mar ri
ed.Ther ealisationt hatwehav ebeen
l
iv i
ngal iehasn' tsunki ny etandpossi bl y
doesn' treallymeanmucht omeconsi der ing
thatmygl asshouseoff airy taleswasbr okena
l
ongt imeagowhenmybr ot hert ookmy
i
nnocence.Thi sist hel i
feourpar entschosef or
usbuti t
'supt oust obr eakf r eefrom t he
shackl esofdar knesswe' vebeensubj ect edto.
Weleftt
hewardandf
oundJohnandThando
t
alki
nganimat
edl
yout
sidet
hecar.

Thando:
mommyI
'
m hungr
y
Me:okwewi
l
lgoandhav
elunch.Car
etoj
oin
usJ?
John:
sur
esi
s.

Wewentt oanear byrestaurantandpl acedour

order.Thandowasget t
ingrestlessandIknow
howshecanbewhenshei shungr y
.Finall
your
orderarri
vedandwedugi n.At3wewentagai n
tocheckonherbutt herewasst i
ll
nochangei n
hersituat
ion.Johncal l
edourgr andpar ent
sand
tol
dthem aboutt heirdaughterandt hey
promisedt obet heretomor row.Ther e'snot
muchwecandonowsowecal li
tadayandl eft.
Saneletooktot hewheel cozhecanseet hat
I
'm notmy self
.Wear r
ivedhomeandhewentt o
buyfoodcoznoonewasi nt hemoodt ocook.
Wehav et
osleepearl
ycozt omorrowwear e
goi
ngbacktothehospit
al.Hisbrother
shave
l
eftsoweareallal
one.

Sanele:I'
veal
readyf
oundy ouaplacetostayin
capet ownanditsawalki
ngdistancetoschool
.
Imanagedt oputthedepositf
orthreemonths
rent
Me:thanky ousomuchbabeandIhopei
tsnot
afancyplace
Sanel
e:it
'sagoodplacenanaanditsnotbig.
Justenoughforyou.It
hinkIshoul
dgohomet o
myuncle'sandaskthem tohelpmewiththe
negoti
ati
ons
Me:
will
theyagr
eei
fyourf
atheri
sagai
nstt
he
mar
ri
age?
Sanel
e:t
heyhat
ewhatheisdoi
ngandIknow
theywi
ll
hel
pme.Aft
erI'
vespokent
othem we
wil
lthenaskyourgr
andpar
ent
sforadat
etodo
negoti
ati
ons
Me:Ican'
tbel
i
evethati
tsact
ual
l
yhappeni
ng.
Thankyoumyking

Iwasr ewar dedwithapassi onat ekissandone

thi
ngl edtoanot her.Thef ol
lowingdayaf ter
breakfastwegotr eadyandl eft
.Mydaught eris
j
usthappyt hatwear etakingat ripanddoesn' t
carethatwear egoingt ot hehospi tal.Johni s
alr
eadywai t
ingfor10ocl ockwi thhi sgi r
lfr
iend
Lutho.Wewenti nwhent het i
mest ri
ke10and
theswel l
ingonherf aceandey esi sgoi ngdown
butshei sst i
ll
amess.Iwi llneverunder stand
howpeopl eenduphur tingt heonest heyclaim
tolove.What everhisr easonsar e, Istil
lthi
nkhe
hasNOr i
ghtt olayhi shandonhi swi f eof28
years.Somepeopl ear eser i
ouslysi ckandneed
Devineinterventi
on.Wheni tcomest oour
familyweneedami raclet ohelpusal l.Wehad
toleav ewhent hehouri supt henwentt ohav e
l
unchandt ookl it
tlesunshi net othebeachj ust
tounwi nd.Justbecauseourl ivesar emessed
updoesn' tmeanweshoul dspoi lThando' sl ife
aswel l.Shei saki dandshoul dbeal lowedt o
enjoylifelikeanyot herkidandnotbeaf f
ect ed
byourpr oblems.Wet ookpi cturesofherasshe
buil
tshapesandmi ni
aturehousesi nt hesands.
John'sphoner angandi twasourgr andpar ents.
Wedr ovebackbackt hehospi talandf ound
them wi thMbuso.Weal lwenti nandhr anj ust
brokedownwhenshesawherdaught erlike
that.Johnt r
iedt oconsol eherandMbusowent
outwi thGr andpaandJohn.Af terawhi let hey
camebackandt oldust hattheywi l
lor gani se
forhert obeai rlift
edt oeastLondonasherl ife
i
si ndangerher e.Thanky ouLor d.Johncal led
sisNomsaandt oldhert opackaf ewof
mommy 'sthingsandt hei mpor tantdocument s.
Het ookourgr andpar entst othehot el then
drovet oBi zanawi thMbuso.I t'salsot imef or
ustogobackasthesi
tuat
ionhasbeenhandl
ed.
Ther
ereal
lyi
sli
ghtatt
heendofthetunnel
[
05/
02,
18:
54]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose

Chapt
er28

Intwoday smymot herwasai rlif

tedt oEast
LondonatStDomi nicslifehospi tal.Shewas
sti
llunconsciouswhi chmadet hemov ebi tter
sweet .TruthisthatIwashappyt hatshei s
l
eav i
ngt obewi thlov i
ngpeopl e.Despi tewhat
shedi dwi t
hdad, herpar entsst il
lhav easof t
spotforherandwer ejustwai tingfort her ight
ti
met oshowt heirloveespeci al l
yaf t
ert heymet
JohnandI .Familyloveisuncondi t
ional but
parentallovejustsurpassesany thi
ng
considerednor mal.Iunder standhowt heyf eel
asIhav euncondi ti
onal l
ov eforachi ldIdi dn't
evenbar e.Shehasev ensof tenedmyhear tand
mademest rangelybroodyev ent houghIknowI
am st i
llnotr eadyt ohavemyownki ds.IfIam
beinghonestwi thmy self
,Idon' ttrustmy selfto
carryababyt ot erm andev ennur turei t
.That
doesn'tIany wayt akeany t
hingf r
om myl ov eof
Thando.Thatchi l
di sandwi llalway sbemy
pri
deandj oy .I'ml eavingforCapet owni na
weekwhi chmeansIneedt ospendev ery
wakinghourwi thSanel eandThandol wet hu.
Shei sst artinggr ade1nex tyearandwehav eto
buyherschool uniform.Sanehast ogohomet o
meethi suncl esaboutt henegot i
ations.Hel eft
mewi thhi scr editcardsot hatIcanbuy
what everThandowi ll
needf orschool .Wehad
funwi thmyangel doingshoppi ng, hairand
mov ies.Shel ov esmov i
eswi t
hal l herhear t.We
boughtsuppert hendr ovehomeandwhenwe
gottot hegat ewesawhi sf ather'scar .Sane
changedt hel ocksandmobi li
serf ort hegat et o
makei tdi f f
icul tforunwant edf ami lymember s
todropi natanyt i
me.IbeggedThandoandt ol
d
herthatwhat evert hemansay ssheshoul d
keepqui et.Iknowthat'
sameanf eat
consideringwhatamot ormout hshei s.I
openedt hegat eal
beitr
eluctantl
yconsi der
ing
howt hemanhat esmygut s.Idrov ei
nt hem
parkedthecari nfr
ontoft hegarageandqui ckl
y
call
edSanel eandt ol
dhim abouthi sfather
.He
beggedmenott ol
ethimi nsi
det hehousebut
topretendt hatIam wait
ingforhimt obr i
ngt he
keys.Hesai dhewi ll
cal
l meagai n.Igotoutof
thecarandwentt ohisfather'
scar .

Me:Idon'
thavet
hehousekey
ssirsoI
'm st
il
l
wai
ti
ngforSanel
etocomeandopenforus
Dad:
whoi
sthatki
dwi
thy
ou?
Me:
shei
smydaught
ersi
r
Dad:andy
outhi
nkyouwi
l
lev
erMar
rymyson?
Overmydeadbody
Me:
Iwi
l
lwai
tint
hecarsi
r
Ilefthimi nhi scarandwentt oj oinmydaught er
whodi dn' tunder standwhywehadt owai tinthe
car.Shei st ooy oungt ounder standandIdon' t
gavet heener gyt otell
her.Af tersomet imehe
gotoutoft hecarandcamet omysi de.Het ol
d
mewhi chhot el hewasi nandt hatwhenSanel e
comesheshoul dseehi mi mmedi ately
.I
openedt hegat ef orhim andhel eft
.Ithen
unlockedt hehouseandwenti nsidewi t
hmy
daught er.Imadesur ethatwel ockedev ery
doorcozt heki ngoft hecast lei snotcomi ng
back..Weat eourpi zzathent ookabat h
together.Wesl epti nherfather 'sbedt oget her
andIdon' tev enknowwhatTi m wef el
lasleep
aswewer echat tinganimat edl y.Thef oll
owi ng
daymymani scomi ngbacksoImadesur eI
cookhi sspeci alty.Idon'tknowwhowasmor e
happyt oseehi m bet weenThandoandIwhen
hef i
nallycameback.Het ookashowert henwe
ateandwat chedt v.Hisuncl e'shav eagr eedt o
handlet henegot iati
onsandt hel ett
erhasbeen
sent.Johncal l
edt osaymom haswokenup
event houghshei sst i
llweak.I t'snowt i
mef or
ustol eaveforCapt etowncozschool sare
openingsoon.Thet hreeofusl eftonMonday
andwesl eptatahot el.Thef ol
lowi ngdaywe
wentt oschool forformal it
iesandIwasgi ven
myuni form andshowedmycooki ngst ati
on.
Wet henwentt othef l
atandi tssmal l andcosy
j
ustt hewayIwanti t.Ihav eenoughmoney
fr
om mysav ingsasInev erusedmyear ni
ngs
fr
om wor kandRushday s.Hest il
lgivesmehi s
creditcardtobuywhat ev erIneed.It hankhi m
andwegot othesuper mar kettobuygr oceries.

Thando:
whi
'
sgoi
ngt
oeatal
lthi
sfoodmommy
?
Me:
Iwi
l
lmyangel
Thando:
youar
enotgoi
ngbackwi
thus?
Me:nonanaIhav
etoat
tendschool
her
ebutI
wi
ll
comehomeev er
ymonthend.
Thando:
butIwi
l
lmi
ssy
ou

NcooohIhuggedherandt oldhernott owor ry

.
Wewentbackt osl eepatt hehot elthent he
fol
lowingdayt heyt ookmet omyf l
atandf l
ew
offtoDurban.Iwassadt oseet hem gobutt his
i
st hebeginningofmyl i
feasIknowi tandt here
willbenost oppingmef r
om achi evingmy
dreams.Seei ngmydaught ercryl i
ket hat
thoughbrokemyhear tandev enhi sf ather
seemedatal ossf orwor ds.Ihav emadean
i
mpactont hisli
ttlegirl'
sli
f eandIv owedatt hat
verymomentt hatIwi llbeinherl ifeal lher
beautif
ulli
fe.Theycal l
edmewhent heyar ri
ved
i
nDur banandhet oldmet hatheust aking
Thandohomecozhergr andmami ssesher .
School st
artedandi t
ssoi nt er
esting.I 'm
enjoyi
ngev erymi nuteofi t.There'sawhol elotI
don'tknowaboutt hehospi tal
i
tyindust ryand
beingachef .Present ati
onandhy gienei skey .
It
st hesecondweekandThandohasst arted
school.Icallhergr anwhenIwantt otalktoher
unlessshei swi thherf ather
.Hehasal so
openedatwor kandi sasbusyasev er
.My
grandfathercalledt osaymom i soutofhospi t
al
butsheneedsi ntensivet her
apywhi cht heywil
l
takehert o.Theyhav ereceivedtheletterand
agreedt hatthenegot iati
onsbet hatmont hend.
Iwenthomef orthatweekendandf oundJohn
there.Everyt
hinghasbeenpr eparedandt he
negot i
ati
onswental ongper fectl
y.The
foll
owingdayIwentbackt oCapet own.My
babyi ssohappyt hatev eryt
hingwentwel land
wantmet ocomet oDur bant hefol
lowing
weekend.

Theschooli
stakingmostofmyt i
met hatby
theti
meIam homeIj ustfeell
i
kesleeping.It
wasgoodtoseemom t hougheventhoughI
feel
li
keshehasal ongwayt ogo.Shei ssti
l
l
j
umpyanddisoriented.Igottomypl acelateon
Sundayandtookamuchneededshower .It
hen
calledSanel
etothankhi
m aboutever
ythingand
tellhi
m howhappyIam tobehistr
adit
ional
wi f
eonlyforhi
scallt
obeansweredbyt he
franti
cMusa.

Me:
what
'
sgoi
ngonMusa?Wher
eisSanel
e?
Musa:I'
m sor
ryYol
obutmybrot
herhasjust
beenshotdeadbyJamesaf
ewmi nutesago

TheSunsett hatverymomentImyey esand

theskiesbecamegl oomy.Myhear t'
sheav i
ness
wast hreateningt oslowev enmymov ements
asIst r
uggledt omakesenseof fitall
.WillIever
recoverfrom t hisshock?Lifei
sadi ff
erentkind
offair
ytaleast her
ear enohappyendi ngs.No
mat t
erhowgoody oumaybeorhowf aryou
havecome, l
i
f esti
llthr
owsy oucurveball
.This
poem bySl ammerj ustcamet omi ndasI
wonder edt hrought heval
leyofpain:
Gonet
oosoon

Ast
heSunset
siny
ourl
i
fe
Pai
ncut
sthr
oughl
i
keakni
fe
Wor
dsf
ail
andpai
ntr
ail
s
AsIwal
kal
onei
ntheset
rai
l
s
Thatoncebr
oughtf
ort
hhope
AsIst
ruggl
enowt
ocope
Wi
thhear
tasheav
yasst
one
AsIwonderwhyy
ouar
egone
Leav
ingmet
oponderonmyown
Asy
ourwor
dsr
ingi
nmyear
s
Forust
ocel
ebr
atewheny
ounother
e
ButIst
andnowbl
i
ndedbyt
ear
s
Myhear
tri
ppedandgr
ippedwi
thf
ear
Theunknownar
eal
i
tysocl
ear
ThatIaskmy
sel
fhowI
'
llev
erbear
Tol
i
vet
hisl
i
fei
fyounother
e
Fl
yawaymyAngel
Yourbeaut
yisneededt
her
e
Soart
ogr
eat
erhei
ght
s
Yourpur
posei
sdoneher
e!!
!!
!
[
05/
02,
18:
54]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose

Chapt
er29

Asmyr
esi
stancecr
umbl
e
Myemot
ionsst
umbl
e
Fr
om t
hei
rini
ti
alst
abl
e
Toexper
iencet
roubl
e
I
nthi
sexi
stencer
ubbl
ethati
sli
fe
ThisishowIf eelri
ghtnowasIr ealisethatmy
backhasbeenexposedandI '
m slowl ylosing
myr esistanceasmyanchorhasbeenr emov ed.
Howam Isupposedt omov eonaf terthis
shockerandhowwi ll
Isurviveinthiscruel word?
Isof eelnakedcozal lmyl i
feI'v
ebeenshi elded
andnowIf eel l
ikeIam alone.Evenwhenmy
familyturnedtheirbacksonme, Inev erfelt
alonecozIal way shadJames.It r
iedt odoi ton
myowni nDur banbuti twast hewr ongpat h
until
lSanelest eppedin.Am istrongenought o
doitonmyownandwhydoesi thav etobe
now?

Isatdowndef eatedandt ear

sjuststreamed
downmyf aceandt herewasn'tmuchIcoul ddo
tostopthem.Mywor ldasIknowi thasturned
upsi
dedown.Myphonekeptr ingi
ngandIdi dn'
t
feell
iketal
kingtoany onesoIleti
tringasI
cri
edmyey esout .Myhear tisbl eedi ngandt ry
asImi ghtIj ustf eelli
keendi ngi tal lrightnow.I
don' tevenknowwhenIf ellasl eepbutIwas
wokenupbyaknockandIaskedwhoi tisand
hesai dhewasSanel esoIr ant ot hedoorbut
whenIopenedt hedoorabr ightl ightshoneon
myey esandIwokeupwi thast art.Itwasonl y
adr eam andasi ckoneatt hat .Ij ustbr oke
downr ightther e.Iam st il
lcur l
edupont he
couchandhav en' tmov edsincet hecal l
.Ifel
t
l
ostanddi dn' tknowi fIwi llev ergett hroughal l
thi
s.Idi dn'tsl eepaf tert hatandi nt hemor ni
ngI
gotr eadyf orschool .Tobehonestwi thy ouI
don' tevenknowwhatIdi dthatdayatschool as
hisimagekepthaunt ingmet hr ought heday .I
calledMusat oaski ft heyhav emade
arrangementf ort hef uneral andhet oldmet hat
i
tst hatSat ur day .Ical ledJohnandt oldhim
them askedhi mt oinfor m ourf ami l
y.Ihav e
madeaf ri
endatschool andSi nesi phoi saqui et
gir
l from EastLondonwhohasawi l
dst r
eak
aboutherbuthasagoodheart
.Atlunchshe
cametositwithmeandjustgavemeahug.

Sinesi
pho:Idon'
tknowwhat'
sbother
ingyougal
butyoulookli
keyouareaboutt
oburstint
o
tears

Icouldn'thel
pbutjustburstint
othoseev er
avail
abletearsandcri
edmyhear tout.Mysobs
werehear tbreaki
ngevent oaheartl
essperson
andIcoul dn'
thelpmyself.Shesatthere
brushingmybackandj ustletmecryuntilI
couldn'tcryanymore.

Sinesi
pho:tal
ktomemyangel
whati
ski
l
li
ng
you?IsitSanel
e?

Sheisthreey
earsoldert
hanmeandsheknows
I
'm engagedtoSaneandthatt
hisweekendi
t
wast
hel
obol
anegot
iat
ions.

Me:
hewasshotdeadl
astni
ght
Si
nesi
pho:
yhoooooy
ho

Shehuggedmeagai nandwesatt hereuntil

l
unchwasov erthencar ri
edonwi ththewor kat
hand.Il ef tonTuesdayandShakaf etchedme
from theai rport.Het ookmet oSanel e'
shome
wi t
hhi swi f
eSi nomt haandThando.Iwasqui et
allthewayj usthuggi ngaconfusedandt eary
ThandoandSi nogav emeashawl whenwegot
theretowr apar oundmyshoul der
.Thepl aceis
crawlingwi thpeopl esowegot othebi g
rondav el andapr ayerwasper formed.Hi s
fatherst oodupaf t
ert hepray
erandhel ooked
angr y
.

Dad:
ShakaIwanty
out
otaket
hatscumbag
andherdaught
eroutofmyhome.Shegother
boyf
ri
endtokil
lmysonnowshecomesher e
wit
hcrocodi
let
ears.
UncleThemba: t
hisisSanel
e'
swi f
eincasey ou
arenotawareandt hi
sweekendwewentt opay
herLobolawhichmakeshermor eeligi
bletobe
here.Thatl
i
ttl
egirli
sourgranddaughter
MrSibiy
a:Idon'
tcarewhatshegotyoutodo
thi
sweekendortheotherweekendbutIwant
heroutasinri
ghtnow

IstoodupandThandof oll
owedme.Shewas
cryi
ngbynowandi twassohar dtokeepal evel
headwhenIsawherbr eakingupl ikethat.I
scoopedherupandshel aidherheadonmy
shoulderandpeoplewer elookingatusasI
walkedoutoft heyar
dwi thhergr andfat
her
shoutingatus.Whodoest hatatat i
mel ikethis.
Idi
dn'tseeMusaandMongezi buthi ssisteri
s
hereandshedi dn'
tsayany thi
ng.Uncl eThemba
andShakaf oll
owedme.I t
'salreadyl ateso
Thembat ookust ohishouseandwesl ept
there.Thefol l
owi ngmor ningwewentbackt o
Kloofandwai tedf orSat urday.Thi shast obe
themosthear tbr eakingt i
mecozThandoi s
i
nconsol able.Myf amilyar ri
vedonFr idayandI
askedShakat of etchMancwaneonSat urday
mor ningsot hatwecanal l dri
vet othef uner al
together.Si
nesi phoar rivedsat urdaymor ning.
Whenwegott hereuncl eThembat oldust hatI
am supposedt ogot ot her ondav elwher et he
coffinissot hatIcant alktohi sspi r
itandal so
l
etThandot oucht hecof fi
nsot hathi sspiritcan
restinpeace.Wewer enotev engi venachance
asev enMusawasagai nstus.Hi sf atherputhi s
footdownandsai dhedoesn' twantusi nhi s
yardwi thmybast arddaught er.Icant akeal l
thatbutIdon' tunder standhowt heycant reat
thei
rownl i
ket hatcozThandoi stheirownf l
esh
andbl ood.Wewentt owai tinthet entper ched
outside.Theser v
icest artedandj ustoutoft he
bluethecof fintoppledandf ell.Themenputi t
backoni t
sst andandj ustaswewer eaboutt o
got othegr aveyarditfellagai n.Musat oldus
thatwear enotal lowedatt hegr av esideaswe
arether easonhi sbrotheri sdead.We
respectedt heirwishesandl eft.Thatni ght
Shakacameandt oldmet hatmyl ifeisatst ake
andIshoul dleavethatv eryni ght.Het oldme
thathehadbookedSi neandIaf l
ightbackt o
capetown.It hankedhi m andsai dgoodby eto
myf ami l
y.Johnwi l
ltaket hem t ohi shousei n
PortShepst onewhi leIleftwi thShaka.Imade
surethatIt akeev eryt
hingt hatbel ongst ome
cozIdon' tthinkIwi l
lbewel comedt her eagain.
Howqui cklypeoplecanchangecoznott oo
l
ongagoMusawasonhi sbr other'
ssi de.Thi si
s
nowmyl i
fe.

Li
fei
s..
..
..
Abl
ooddr
ippi
ngdagger
Agunt
oti
ngst
ranger
Awal
kbutnotast
agger
At
oucht
osoot
het
heot
her
Af
all
,acr
awl
&abi
gbal
l
Ast
abst
olenwi
thsl
ander
[
05/
02,
18:
54]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose

Chapt
er30

Allthewayt oCapeTownIcoul dn'tgetov erthe

crueltyoftheSibiy
af amil
y .Howcant heybeso
heartlessatat i
mel i
kethis?Theonl y
consol at
ionisthatJamesi sbehindbar sand
thepostmor t
em say shehadt wobul l
et
woundsandonebul kygothi mi nthehear t.
WhenThembat ookmet ot hemor tuaryon
Thur sdaymor ni
ng,theyonl yshowedust he
headandhewassopeacef ulasifhewasata
peacef ul place.IfIhadknownt hatt imet hatI
hadt ot alkt ohim Iwoul dhav ebutIwast oo
ov ercomewi t
hgr iefandsadnesst ot hink
straight .Nowher eIam wi t
habr okenhear tand
apai nsounbear abl enotsur ewher et ost art.
Wear r
iv edi ncapet ownandt ookacabt omy
fl
at .IaskedSi nesiphot oor derf oodcozshe
mustbehungr y.Ionl yhadj uiceandwent
straightt obed.Ical ledShakaandt ol dhimt hat
wear rivedsaf elythenmybr other .It hen
swi tchedof fmyphoneandwentt osl eep.My
bodyi st ired,mymi ndi stir
edbutmysoul i
s
dest roy edandIf eel empt yinside.Ist ruggledto
sleept hatni ghtcozeacht i
meIcl osedmyey es
Iwoul dei therseeThando' scr yi
ngf aceor
Sanel e'scal mf aceatt hemor tuar y .Coul ditbe
thatpeaceasIknewi thasl eftme?Atl astIfell
asleepbuti twasn' tlongwhenSi newokemeup
andsai dIwascr yi
ngi nmysl eep.Imusthav e
beenani ghtmar ebutatt hemomentIf eeltoo
ti
redt odoany thing.Imademy sel facupof
coffeeanddr ankit .Itriedagai nt osl eepandI
tossedandt urnedmostoft henight .Sine
stayedwi thmef orf ivemor eday sandIwas
getti
ngdeeperanddeeperi ntothedar kplace.I
woul dstil
lattendcl assesbutaf terschool i
t
wasani ghtmar eev eryday .Icouldn' teatordo
anythingandal lIdidwasj ustcry .Thef ol
lowing
SaturdayIswi t
chedonmyphoneandcal led
Mancwane.Iwant edt ot alkt oThandoandshe
washappyt ohearf rom me.Imi ssmyangel so
muchbutI '
mt oomuchofamesst oseeher
now.Af terthecal lIswi tchedof fmyphone
i
gnor i
ngt henumer ousmessagest hatkept
pouringon.

Itookawal ktospurandor der

edabur geranda
doubleshotofJameson.Theybr oughtthedrink
andIf i
nishedi
tbef orethemeal arri
ved.Iwant
toforgetevery
thingandsl eeppeacef ul
lyfort
he
fi
rstt
imesi ncethisthinghappened.Thepai nis
becomi ngtoomuchandasmuchasIt ryto
i
gnor ethepai n,i
t'
st her eallthet i
me.Ican' t
thinkst r
aightandt histhingi skill
ingme.They
broughtmyf oodandIaskedf oranot herdoubl e
shot .Icouldonl yeatt hechi pst henIasked
them t oputt hebur geri nthet akeawayboxand
Iset tl
edmybi ll
.I'
m abi tdasybutIcanst i
llwalk
soIputmysungl assesonandwal ktheshor t
distancet ot ops.Iboughtt wobot tlesofwi ne
andwenthome.Imadesur eIl ockedt henI
drankunt il
l Ipassedout .Thatni ghtIsl eptunti
ll
11t hef ol
lowi ngday .Fr om thenonIhadt he
samer outine.Iattendschool thengethome,
cal l
Thandot hendr inkt wogl assesofwi neand
sleep.Theni ghtmar esdi dn'tescapemet hough
cozt heywer eaconst antandIl osta
tremendousamountofwei ght.Ev enmy
classmat eswer ewor riedaboutmeandIwasa
shadowofmy self.Ididn'ttalkt oany oneandno
mat terhowhar dt heyt ri
edt obecl oseIpushed
ev eryone.Not hi
ngi shel pingmeandev erydayI
chokeonmyt earsasIt rytomakesenseofi t
all
.It'sbeenexact lyamont handt woweeks
aftert hef uner al andIt hrowupeacht imeIsi p
ont hewi ne.Fr idayni ghtI '
m wat chingTVand
fallasleepont hecouch.Idr eam thatwear e
backatwi ldcoastsunandhei swaki ngmeup.
WhenIl ookuphei shol dingabeaut i
fulbaby
boypr obabl yanewbor nandwhi l
eI'm stil
l
bewi lderedhehandst hebabyt omeandj ust
disappear si ntot hinai r.Iwakeupsweat i
ngand
wonderi fhei st ryingt ot ellmesomet hing.
May behewant smet ov i
sitThando.Imi ssher
andshemustal somi ssme.Ihav enev erused
hiscr editcar dandIdon' tknowi fit'
sokf orme
tousei tnowt hathei sgone.Iwentt ot he
bedr oom andf ell asleepaf termuchst r
uggling
ofcoz.Thi st i
meIdr eamtofababycr yingand
i
tseemedl iket hebabyi si nsidehi shouseat
Kloof .Iopenedt hehouseandf oundThando
holdinganewbor nbabyt ryingt ocalm hi m.
Whati st hemeani ngofal lthisandcan' tIbeleft
alonet ogr i
ev ewi thoutt hespi r
itwor l
dmaki ng
anent
ry?
[
05/
02,
18:
54]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose

Chapt
er31
Myl i
feaf tert hatwasj ustmi serablecozI
couldn'tsleepwel landIwasst r
ugglingtoeat.I
havet of i
ndaj obandImanagedt of i
ndaj obat
ahot el.Thepayi spat heticbutitwi l
lcoverrent
andbasi cnecessi ti
es.Si nesi
phour gedmet o
goforcounsel li
ngbutIdi dn'
twantanyoft hat.
I'
vehear denoughoft alkingtost rangersor
feel
ingsor ryf ormy self.Thegoodt hingabout
workingatt hehot elisthatIgetameal soi j
ust
eatbr eakfastatmypl ace.Imi ssmyf amil
ybutI
am st i
llnotr eadyt otalkt oanyonebutThando.
I'
m stilldri
nki ngadi t
'sget ti
ngoutofhandt hen
thi
sni ghtI'm busydr inkingandt heglassjust
fel
loft het abl eonitsown.Thati sstrange.I
tookt hebot tleandpour edanot herglassand
thi
sonef ellagai n.Whati sgoingonher eand
whyi smygl asswast i
ngmywi nel ikethis.I
wentt osl eepandt odayIfellasl eepalmost
i
mmedi atel y.Idi dn'
tdream todaybuti tfeltl
ike
Sanelewast ellingmesomet hingbuthewasf ar.
ItlookslikeIam dr i
nkingandconcent rating
mor eont hedr inkingthanwhathei ssay ingso
hecomest olightandpour smygl assdown
thenopenst hebot t
leanddot hesame.Het hen
sitsnextt omeandt ell
smet hathi shousei s
empt yandhi ski dsneedme.Il istent ohim and
apologisef ornothear inghim ear l
ier.Het hen
disappear sandIwakeup.Igot ot heki t
chen,
takeoutev erywi nebot t
leandempt yi
tint he
sink.Itakemyphoneoutandswi tchiton.I
readt hr
ought hemessagesandsomear ef r
om
number sIdon' tknow.Mostar ef r
om myf amil
y
andShaka.I t'
sj ustaft
er12soIcan' tcallthem
now.Iwentbackt osleepanddot hefirsttime
i
n5mont hsIsl eptpeacef ull
y.Iwaswokenup
byacal lfr om Shakaandhewassohappyt o
hearmyv oice.
Shaka:whathappenedt
oyourphoneYolo?I'
ve
beengoingoutofmymindtry
ingtogetholdof
you.Howarey ou?
Me:I'
mfi
neShakabutIwasn'
treadyt
otal
kto
any
onesoIswit
cheditof
f
Shaka:Iunderstandbutyounearl
ygaveusa
heartat
tack.Ineedtoseey ousoIwil
lbefly
ing
toCapeTownt omorrow.Alothashappened
thatonl
yy oucansortitout
Me:
okIwi
l
lseey
ouwheny
ougether
e

Heaskedmet osendhim myaddr essandIdi d

thenIgotr eadyforschool.Hi
sflightisat8so
afterschoolIwenttowor kandt oldthem thatI
woul dli
ketoknockof fat8.Theydi dnothav ea
problem cozI'v
enev erbeenabsentort aken
ti
meof f
.At7:45Ileftandwenthome.Iqui ckly
tookashowerandmadeaqui ckmeal .Ihaven't
cookedf oralongtimesot hisisal
lstr
anget o
me.Ther e'
saknockatt hedooranditsShaka.I
wenttoopenf orhim andwhenhesawehej ust
cri
ed.YesIam al lski
nandboneswi t
har ather
bi
ggerst omachl i
keanunder nouri
shedkid.He
hugsmef oralongt i
met hem wesitdown.
Aft
eraf ewpleasant r
ieshelooksatmel ong
andhard.

Shaka:st
opdoi
ngt
hist
oyour
sel
fory
ouwi
l
lki
l
l
yourbaby
Me:
whatbaby
?Whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
?
Shaka: whenwewer eatwi ldcoastsun,Sanele
suspectedt haty
ouar epregnantandathis
funeralSinomthaconf i
rmedit.I
fthi
sstomach
i
sany t
hingtogobyt henhewasr i
ghtbutyou
willki
llt
hebabyi fy
oucar ryonlikethi
s.Iknow
thi
si sallashocktoy oubutthatbabyisatrisk
Me:butthere'
snochangei
nmybodyandI
don'
tfeelanydif
fer
ent
.
Shaka: I
'
m notadoctorbutfrom whereI
'
m
standingyouar
ebattlingsomethi
ngseri
ous
andt hat
'swhyyoumi ssedthesymptoms.How
areyouf eel
i
ngthough?
Me:
Ifeel
empt
yandbet
ray
ed.Whydi
dhehav
e
t
odie?
Shaka:Jamesgot18y earsinprisonandMusa
tookoverthehouseandcar .Theinsur
ancepaid
outtohim aswellbuthisbankmanagerwant s
youandsanlam aswel l.AtIl
isotheyal
sowant
youtheresopleasepicky oursel
fupandjoin
theworld.

Wet alkedforalongt i
met henIdi
shedupf orus.
Mycouchi sasleepercouchsoi prepareditfor
hi
mt henwesl ept.Thef ol
lowingdayhet ook
met ot hedoct
orwhoconf ir
medthatIwas7
mont hspregnant.Headmi ttedmeimmedi ately
cozIwasunder wei ghtandthebabywasunder
developed.Iwil
lbeoncl oseexaminationtil
l
furthernoti
ce.Icall
edJohnandhewasov ert
he
moont ohearfrom me.Wheni toldhim Iwas
hospi t
ali
sedhepr omisedt
obet hereonFr i
day.
Isentamessageatschool toi
nf ormthem and
oneatwor k.Ar
ound12, Si
nesi
phocal l
edandI
toldherwher eIam.Shecamef ort he3oclock
visi
tandl ookedatmeandsmi led.

Si
ne:
howar
eyouf
eel
i
ngaboutt
hepr
egnancy
?
Me:Ihaven'
thadt
imet
othi
nkabouti
tandIj
ust
don'
tknow

Shehuggedmeandaskedmet otakeiteasy.
Shebroughtmel unchfr
om school andIdidn'
t
wanttodisappoi
ntherandat e.Shakatoldme
thatSanel
e'sfat
herhasbeeni nandoutof
hospit
alanddoctorscan'
tfindany thi
ngwr ong
withhim.Musaont heotherhandhaschanged
anddoesn'thangoutwiththem.Ist ayedf ora
weekandbyt hetimetimedi schargedmet he
babywaski ckingandIhav egainedwei ght.
Ther ereall
yisnot i
mef orenj oyi
ngt he
pregnancyasI '
m sti
ll baffl
edbyal lthi
s.Weonl y
hav eonemor eweekofschool t
henwet akea
mi dy earbreak.Iwil
l hav etogot oDur banf ora
fewday stoseeThandoandv i
sitthepl aces
thatwantme.Ishoul dbehappyt hathel eftme
apar tofhim butI '
m wor r
iedandscar edt hatI
won' tbeagoodmot her .Wecl osedon
Thur sdayandsi nesiphoandKhay akazi camet o
sleepatmypl ace.Ihav ef oundsi stersint hese
twoandt heyar ebothcr azy .
Theycookedandwest ayedupt i
lll
atejust
tal
king.Thef oll
owingdayIfl
ewoutt oDur ban
andShakaf etchedmef r
om theairport.Ihave
alr
eadyagewi thMancwanet hatIwi l
lstaywith
herthesef ewday ssoShakat ookmet here.My
babywassohappywhenshesawmeand
couldn'
tstophuggi ngandkissingme.Shehas
grownt houghandl ooksobeaut i
ful.Daddy '
s
l
itt
leprincess.Thataft
ernoonShakacameback
wi
thawhit
eguyinsui
tandint
roducedhi
m as
Ni
chol
asBauer
,Sanel
e'
slawyer
.

Nicholas: Ihaveher eSanel e'

swi l
landitst
ates
thati
ncasehedi esbef oreyoutwoar emarried,
Ishouldsel l hi
shouseandcarandbuyy oua
smallerhousewher ev eryouchooseanda
suit
ablecar .Youhav etomanage
Thandolwet hu'
st rustfundunt i
l
lsheis21.Al l
themoneyi nhi sbank, hi
ssharedandt heli
fe
poli
cyshoul dbepai doutt oyoubuttheshar es
aretobespl itthreeway sbetweenyou,
Thandolwet huandt heunbornchild.Nevertake
hiskidst ohi sfather'shouseunlessy ouare
sureoft heirsaf ety.

Il
ookedatShakaandhej
usthuggedme.
[
05/
02,
18:
54]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose
Chapt
er32

Icouldn' tbeliev emyear sast hisconf i

rmst he
depthofSot obe' slovef orme.Somet i
meswhen
wegot hroughsomet hingbadweal way sseei t
astheendoft hewor ldandl osehopeunt i
lthe
Lordsendsanangel t
oshowy outhewayout .
Inmycaset heguar di
anAngel camei nthef orm
ofdarkchocol ate, myr easonf orbreathingand
mysav iour .Sanel ewasmydr eam comet r
ue
andev ent houghwewer enottoget herforlongI
feell
ikehedi dmor einmyl if
et hanIev er
expect ed.Iam wher eIam becauseofhi sFaith
i
nme.Nowi nj ustaf ewmont hsIwi l
lbe
graduat ionf rom chefschool .Ihavenowor ds
forhim ev ent houghIf eelrobbedt hathenev er
experiencedmypr egnancy .Hewoul d'
vebeen
sohappyaboutt heunbor nbabyandspoi l
me
rott
en.Thati sbesi dethepoi ntnowashei s
takingcar eofmef rom theot hersi de.Ir eal l
y
hav enocompl aintsbutgr at
itudet hathe
changedhi swill
.Hechangedi tthatMonday
afterhedr oppedmeatschool wi t
hThando.I
madeapr omiset hatv er
ymomentt otakecar e
ofhi schil
drent hebestwayIknowhow.I
author i
sedMrBauert ostartt hepr oceedi ngsof
selli
ngt hehouseandaut omobi l
es.Ican' tl et
peopl ereapwher etheydidn'tsowespeci ally
nowt hatIhavet woki dstof eed.Iwoul dn'thave
soldt hecarhadMusanotchangedhi sway s
butt hisseemsl ikeSanel edidn' ttrustany onei n
hisf amily
.Theyl eftbutpr omi sedt of etchme
tomor r
owt ogot ot hebankandi nsur ance
company .Whent heywer egoneThandocame
tohugmeandIdeci dedtocookdi nnerf orus.I
mightbepr egnantbutIdon' tf eelpregnantatal l.
Ther eisnot i
rednessorhear tbur n.Inf actIcan
safel ysaythatthisist heeasi estpr egnancy .
Whi leI'
m busycooki ng,Thandoi st ell
ingme
storiesaboutschool .Sheisl ov i
ngi tandshe
can'tstoptel
l
ingmeaboutherteacher.This
onei ssuchagreatst
oryt
ell
erbutIenj
oyev ery
minut eofi
tandrewardherwit
hkisses.I
fi
nishedcookingandwesatdownt oeat .

Mancwane:sot
ell
meYolohowwi
l
lcopeat
school
wit
hanewborn?
Me: t
obehonestwi t
hy oumom,ihaven'
t
thoughtabouti
tatallbutImi
ghthav
et ot
ake
hertodaycare.Ther
ei sonei
nmyblockoffl
ats
Mancwane:
ifi
t'
snotaprobl
em t
oyouI
woul
dn'
tmindtaki
ngcar
eofherorhi
m
Me: nomom t
hatwi
llbeaski
ngt
oomuchof
you.Wewil
lseewhentheti
mecomes.
Mancwane:t
hinkabouti
tmychi
ld.Iwantyou
tof
ini
shyoureducat
ionsot
haty
oucant ake
car
eofthem.

WowIf
eel
sol
uckyr
ightnowandIdon'
tev
en
knowwhatt osay .Wewentt osl eepand
Thandosl eptwi t
hme.Thef oll
owi ngdayIgot
readyandShakaandNi chol asf etchedme.We
wentt othebankandIgav et hem al lmy
i
nf ormat ionandbanki ngdet ailssot hatthey
cant r
ansf erthemoneyt ome.Wet henwentt o
thei nsurancecompanyandi nsteadwewer e
givenal etterthatpr event sthecompanyf rom
pay ingoutt helif
ecov erast hewi lli
sbei ng
cont ested.I twast hesamewi thhi sshar es
whenwegott ohi scompany .Thi sisreally
i
nsaneandIdon' tunder standhowMusaand
hisf athercandot his.Thi smeanst heywi l
l al
so
cont estt hesal eoft hehouse.Iboughtaf ew
foodi temsandwenthome.It oldMancwane
whathappenedandheaskedt hatweshoul d
pray .Ihav en'tpray edf oral ongt imeandi tfel
t
sost r
angebutIdi dit.Ast imewentbyt hey
askedmet ost ayunt i
ll school sopen.Wewoul d
visitShaka' splacewi thThandoatt i
mesandI
hav et oadmi tthatbei ngwi thMancwanei s
helpingt ost rengt henmyFai t
hinGod.Shei sa
blessingi ndi sgui se.Thi sSat urdayinear lyJul
y
wegotav i
sitf r
om MrBauerandShakaand
theydi dn' tbringgoodnews.Nomoneywi ll
be
paidi ntomyaccountandt hesaleoft hehouse
hasbeenhal tedasMusai scont estingthewi l
l
ont hegr oundst hathisbr otherwasnotmar ri
ed
anddi dnothav echi l
dren.Thecasei son
Tuesdayatt hemagi st
r atecour tinDur ban.
WhatMusadi dn'tknowwast hatthebankhas
transfer edt hemoneybutt hesenewsshocked
met ot hecor eandIhadashar ppai ninmy
abdomen.Bef oreIcoul dr eali
sewhatwasgoi ng
on, mywat erbr okeandShakat ookmet ot he
carandt heyr ushedmet ohospi t
al.Ithoughtit
wi l
lbeaqui ckbi rthbuti twasn' ttobe.The
Labourpai nswer ekill
ingmeanddoct orshad
noi deawhyIwasn' tgivingbi rt
h.Thef ollowing
dayi twasst il
l thesamet hingandt hestomach
wassopai nful bynowandIwast ir
ed.If ell
asleepdur i
ngt hedayonSat urdayanddr eamt
ofSanel eshowingmeuncl eThemba.Het old
met hathissonwon' tarriveunt il
lThembai s
present.Hesmi l
edandsai dLUSANELE
UTHANDOLWETHU( ourl oveisenoughf orus)
andIsmi l
edasIunder stoodwhathemeant .I
wokeupandcal ledShakaandt oldhim about
thedream.Ar ound6hear ri
vedwi thuncle
Thembaandhet ooksomet hingf r
om his
pocketthatlookedlikeoil andr ubbeditonmy
tummywhi lechanti
ngt hecl annames.Af t
er
thatIgav ebir
thtoabounci ngbabyboy
weighing2.6kg.Hei stoobi gf orapremat ure
andInamedhi m LUSANELESI BIYA.
[
05/
02,
18:
54]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose

Chapt
er33

Fort
hefi
rstt
imeinmyli
feIcri
edtear
sofj
oy.I
wasover
whelmedwit
hsomuchemot i
ont
hatI
di
dn'
tknowwhethert
olaughoutl
oudorpr
ay.
YesIpr aynowt hankst oMancwaneandshe
hasbeent oogoodt ome.Thenur sescame
backandaskedt obat hhi m.Si nomthacamei n
andaskedt obat hhi m.Shet ookhimt othesink
andbat hedhi m whi l
et henur sescleanedmeup.
Ichangedi ntoacl eanni ghtdressandwor ea
gown.Thenur sesl eftandt heguyscamei n
nowt hatI'm pr esent able.Uncl eThembacame
tomeandt oldmet hatheust heonewho
askedSi not obat hehi m cozhewi l
lneedhis
dir
tywat ertospr ayi nhi syardsot hathecan
haveabondwi thhisancest ors.What ev
er
makeshi m happyatt hismomentIr eall
ydon't
mindcozt hismanhel pedme.Het ookouta
smallbot t
leandf il
ledi tupt henaskedt ohold
him.At earescapedhi sey esashel ookedathis
grandson.I '
venev erseensuchadar kchil
din
myl i
feandmygenesar eweakshame.Atl east
Thandol wethut ookev eryt
hingf r
om herdad
exceptthecompl exion.Thi soneont heother
handisdaddy 'ssont hr oughandt hrough.I'
m
gratefultouncleThembaf orbeingt heonl y
familymemberwhost aystr ue.Mybr other
camei natthatmomentwi thsuchawi desmile
andpr esent sgal
ore.Theot hersst eppedoutto
giveusr oom t otal
k.Het el
lsmet hatmom went
backt odadandt hatthi
ngsar ebadi nEast
Londonf orsomer eason.Ourgr andpar entsar
e
angryandwhenhev i
sit
edt hem hecoul dsee
thattheyr esenthim.Iwonderwhathol ddad
hasonmom t hatissostrong?

John: yhoot hi
sangel l
ookssomuchl ikehi m.
Best rongnanacozhel efty
ouwi thapar tof
him.Hedr esseshimi nsomeoft heclotheshe
broughtandaskswhatIwoul ddowhenIgot o
school .Iinform him ofMancwane'sofferand
hepr omi sest ohelpwhenev erhecan.He
l
eav est hent heotherscamet osaytheir
goodby easwel l.Sinomthahugsmeandsmi l
es.
Sinomt ha:wethoughtwecouldrai
sehim whil
e
youf i
nishschoolbutitwi
llbesounfai
rtoyou.
Hel ooksjustli
kehisdaddyandwehav ea
surpri
sef oryou
Me:
whati
sit
?
Shaka:
wewil
lhir
eanannyfory
ouandy
ouwi
l
l
st
aywithy
oursoninCapeTown.
Me:
butwhyar
edoi
ngal
lthi
sforme?
Sinomtha:
becauseSanelesavedmyhusband'
s
l
ifeandthi
sistheleastwecandoconsi
deri
ng
thethi
ngshedidforus.

Beforetheycouldelaborat
ethough, thenurse
askedthem toleaveast hevisi
ti
nghouri sov er
.
Iwashappyt hatmysonhasmadet hingsso
easyforme.Itwasgoi ngtobedi ff
iculttoleave
hi
m asIneedt obreastfeed.Iwasdi scharged
onTuesdaymor ni
ngcozmom andbabywer e
doingwell.MrBaueraskedt hecaset obe
post ponedt oMondaynextweek.Idon' tf eel
l
ikeat t
endi nganycour tcasenowbutt hisi smy
kidsnesteggandpeopl earet hr eat eningt o
destr oyit.IaskedMrBauerhowmuchIshoul d
payhi m andhesai dShakahasset tledt hebi l
l.
Shakai sabusi nesst ycooni nDur banand
Mar itzburgar eaandhei swell knownand
respect able.Mancwanei streat ingmel ikea
princessanddoi ngev erythi
ngf orme.Shei s
teachi ngmehowt ot akecar eofNel eandt hatI
mustmakehi m br east feedint hemor ning' sand
afternoonssot hathedoesn' tgi v epr oblemst o
whoev erwi ll
takecar eofhi m.OnMondayIgot
readyandShakaf etchedus.Il ef tNel ewi th
Mancwaneandwentt ocour t.Musa, hispar ents
andMongezi areher ewi tht
hei ri rri
tat i
ngsi ster.
Iignor edt hem andwentt otakeaseat .The
proceedi ngst artedandopeni ngst atement s
wer emade.Not hingmuchwasdi scussed
exceptt hatbl oodt estsmustbeconduct edon
thechi ldorchi l
dr eni nvolvedt hent hecasewi l
l
conveneagainint
womonths.Iwasstandi
ng
outsi
dewithSinowhenhi
sfathercameand
stoodinf
rontofme.

Sibi
ya:Idon'thaveti
mef orl
eechesli
keyouand
Iwil
l cl
i
py ourwingsli
keIdidtothatpi
gheaded
boyofmi ne.Iam Sotobeandthisisj
ustthe
beginni
ng

Iwon'tli
eandsayIwasn' tscar
edcozIam butI
tri
edtost andf i
rm unti
ll
hegott ohiscarand
l
eft.Shakacameandweal soleft
.Sinomtha
tol
dhim whatj usthappenedandhekeptqui et
l
ikehedi dn'thearawor dshesai d.Wegot
homeandIt hankedthem forthelif
t.It
old
Ncwanehowt hecasewentandsheaskedus
topray.

Mancwane:
ifi
twer
eupt
omeIwoul
dsayl
et
them havethi
smoneyandjustl
iveyourli
fei
n
peace.Ihaveenoughmoneytotakecareify
ou
andyoursonandnextyearyouwill
bewor ki
ng.
Youdon'tneedthi
sdramainyourli
fe

Ismi l
edbecauset hatiswhatIwast hinki
ngtoo
onmywayback.Themoneyf rom t hebankcan
sustainmeandmysonf orwayov eray earand
wecanl i
vecomf ortablyevenwi t
hal ivein
nanny .Whyr i
skmyl i
feli
ket hi
s?It hanked
Mancwaneandwentt oseemyboy .Heeet hi
s
oney ouwoul dsweart hathei st woweeksol d.
Hei splayingwit
hThandoi nherr oom andI
breastfeedhim.Thisonel oveseat ingandsoon
hewi l
l beabigboy .Thef oll
owi ngdayIcal led
Shakaandaskedf oranappoi ntmentwi thhim.
Hesai dIcouldcomet ohi sofficeatl unchand
wentt here.

Me:
aft
ert
het
hreatt
hatMrSi
biy
adi
dyest
erday
Ihavedecidedtowit
hdrawthecaseandlet
them haveever
ythi
ngcozIdidn'
tlov
eSanel
e
forhi
smoney .Theonepaidint
omyaccount
cansustainusunti
l
lnextyeart
histi
me
Shaka:Idon'tknowwhatt osaybecauseIwas
thi
nkingthesamet hing.Somey ear sbackIwas
analcoholi
candgr ubaddi ctthatIev enlost
everyt
hingfrom job, houseandcar .Saneledid
notturnhisbackonandl etmest ayinhis
house.Het ookmet ot hebestr ehabcent r
e
thenhelpedmest artabusi ness.Het ookouta
l
oanf ormeandhel pedunt i
ll
thebusi nesswas
upandr unning.Iwill hel
py ouraisey our
chil
dreneveni fi
t'
sl astthingIdo.
Me:t
hankyousomuchandI
'
mreal
l
ytouched
byy
ourloy
alt
y.

Iwasgoi
ngtoleav
eonFr i
daymorni
ngsolat
e
onThur
sdaytwocarscameinanditwasShaka
i
nonecarandthesecondonewasuncle
Themba.Ther ewasanol derwomanpr obabl
y
i
nherear lyf
orti
esthatcamewi t
hThemba.He
tol
dmet hatshei sLusanele'snannyandhewi l
l
payherwages.It hankedhimt henSinomtha
gavemeabagf ullofNele'
snewcl otheswow.I
huggedherthenshegav eThandoand
Mancwanegi ftbagsaswel l.Shakagav eme
keystothecarhewasdr iv
ing.I t
'sapolo
comfort
lineandIcoul dn'
tbelieveit
.

Shaka:thi
sisforyourson.Thandowasl ucky
becauseherfatherwasheret otakeherto
cl
inicsanddoctorssoidon'twantJuniortofeel
l
eftout.TakecareofyourselfandI'
veorgani
sed
withthebanktotransf
eranal l
owanceev er
y
mont h

Iwasbeyondspeechl
essandjusthuggedall
of
them.HemightbegonebutSotobeissti
ll
l
ookingoutf
orme.Whoam Inott othankthe
Lor
dforthi
s.Weleftear
lythefol
l
owing
morni
ngandonlyarri
vedinCapeTownaround
11pm ti
redashel
lbutwear eher
e.
Wehi tther oadr unningatschool andt herewas
not imet opl ay.SinesiphoandKhay akazi vi
sit
meof tentopl aywi thl i
tt
leman.Hei swi nning
overhear t
swher everwegoandIl ov ehim.
Shakakepthi swor dandIal socal lMancwane
andThandoof ten.Johni salsokeepi ngIt ouch
butmom doesn' tt
akemycal ls.Wel lIdon't
knowwhatt odowi t
hheranymor ecozI
thoughtshewasonherwayt orecov ery.Ican't
wai ttofinishatschool andst artwor ki
ng
though.Igetacal lfrom Mancwanet owar dsthe
endofNov embert ell
ingmet hatther e'
sa
strangecart hatdr i
vespastherhouseev ery
afternoonandhesi tatesatthegat e.Some
neighbour st oldhert hatthecarhasbeen
askingabouther .
Andt
hen?
???
Ismydaughtersaf
enowandwhatdot hese
peoplewantfr
om anol
dharmlesswoman.I
call
edShakaandtol
dhim.Onl
yGodknows
whatisgoi
ngonbutfornow,mysonwant sto
play.
[
05/
02,
18:
54]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose

Chapt
er34

Iwon'tsayIwasn'twor ri
edaboutwhatNcwane
saidespeci
allywhenshesai dthenei ghbours
confir
medt hatthecarhasbeenaski ngabout
her.WhatIthinkisthatmay betheywantt okil
l
Thandoast heyarenotawar eofLusanel e'
s
exist
ance.Whywoul dtheydothatt houghwhen
theyhaveallSanele'
smoneyandt hi
ngs.I'
m
reall
yafr
aidcozShakai sonabusi nesstri
pwith
hiswifeandwi l
lonlycomebackt omor r
ow.
May beIshouldgetthem tobooki ntoabnbf or
nowunt i
lShakacomesback.Atl eastThando
hasf i
ni shedwr it
ingexams, may beIshoul dget
them tocomeher eev ent houghIdon' tknow
howIwi l
laccommodat ethem inmyone
bedroom f l
at.IcalledMancwaneandl ether
knowt hatShakai soutoft ownbutwi llbeback
tomor row.Shet hankedmeandt oldmenott o
wor r
yast heLor dwi l
lprotectthem.Ohwhata
graciouswomanshei s.Iwentbackt oplay i
ng
withmysonwhi leaunt ieistakinganap.She
hasbeensuchagr eathel pandmysonl oves
herwhi chmakesmyl i
feeasi er.May bei t
's
becauseshei spar toft heSot obeclanand
uncleThembachosewi selywiththisone.Iwi l
l
retai
nherwhenIgetaj obandi ncreaseher
salary.Whowoul dhav et houghtt hatMusa
wouldbet heoneagai nstmenowwhenhewas
socloset ohi sbrother.May behest il
lresent
himf ormar ryi
nghi sgi rl
fr
iend.Sickpeopl etend
tohol dont omeani nglessgr udgesjustsot hat
theycanbej usti
fied.Myboyf i
nallyfellasleep
andIdeci dedt ojoinhi m becauseIknowhewi ll
beawakei nnot i
me.Thewayt okeepupwi t
h
himi st osl eepwhenhedoes.Thef ollowi ng
mor ningThandocal l
edmeexci t
edt hat
Mancwanei stakinghert ot hehai rsal oon.Thi s
girlget sexci t
edbyl i
ttl
et hingsandIl iket hat.I
bathedmysonandchangedhi mt hent henwe
tookawal kar oundthenei ghbour hood.Il iket o
takehi m al ongonwal ksjustsowecanbr eathe
thef reshai r.Wegott ot hepar kandIsatdown
andt ookhi m outofhi sst r
oller.Hesmi l
esal ot
theseday sunlesshei shungr ythenal l he'll
breaksl oose.Ipl ayabitwi thhi mt henIsee
thatt heweat herisfastl
ychangi ngsoIputhi m
backi nhisst rol
lerandwal kbackt omyf l
at.By
thet i
mewegethomet houghhei ssl eepi ng.
Lazyboyt hisone.Iputhi mi nhiscott hengot o
thebat hroom t owashhi scl othesandmi ne.I
enjoywashi nghislit
tl
ei t
emsandhav et old
aunt yt hatsheshoul dnotbot herher sfwi thhis
l
aundr ycozIcandoi twhenIcomebackf rom
school event houghmostoft heti
mehedef i
es
meandwasht hem.If inishedwi t
hthel aundr
y
andcamet owat chthet vwi thaunty.Myphone
rangandIanswer edit.Idon' tknowt hisnumber
butIansweri tnevert
hel ess.I t'
sast r
angerwho
i
ntroduceshimsel fasanof fdutypoliceman
whowi tnessedabr utal shoot ingofanol d
womananday ounggi rl ast heywer eaboutto
entert
hesal oon.Het hent ellsmet hatThando
i
sr eal
lyshakenandhegotmynumberf r
om
Mancwane' shandbag.

Me:
issheok?I
stheol
dwomanst
il
lbr
eat
hing?
Man: I
'm sorryl
adybutshecoul dn'tsurvivethe
rai
nofbul let
sinherbodybutshemanagedt o
beabodyshi el
dtothey ounggirl.Iaskedt o
speaktoThandoandr eassuredhert hatIwi l
l
makeapl anforhertobet akentosaf ety.AsI
droppedmyphone, Shakacal l
edt otell
met hat
heusonhi swaytoMancamaneandIt oldhim
whatjusthappenedandwher etofindThando.
Whatt hesepeopl edidjustmademeangr yadI
askedShakat ot akeThandot otheai rportat
onceaf t
erfetchinghercl othesandbi rth
certi
ficate.Ican'tr i
skgoi ngt oDurbanr i
ghtnow
soi t
'sbestIhav emydaught erhere.Herr epor
t
andt ransferletterwillfoll
owast i
megoes.That
afternoonIhadt of etchaf right
enedThando
from theai r
por tandIcal ledandt hankedShaka
forhishel p.Thisi smyl if
enow, Mot hert othese
kidsandt hemosti mpor tantroleI
'veev er
playedi nmyl if
e.Iwon' tl
ifeandsayI '
m not
scaredbecauseIam.Resti npeaceMancwane,
youhav eplayedy ourroleandser vedy our
purpose
[
05/
02,
18:
54]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose

Chapt
er35

I
’v
eneverseenThadol
wethusoshakenandit
br
okemyheart.WhenIgotherf
rom theai
rpor
t
shelookednor mal andIt hi
nki thadn’ tsunki n
heryetbutnowshei sshaki ngl i
keal eaf.We
gothomeandIaskedaunt ytomakesweet ened
waterf orherandt ookherst rai
ghtt omy
bedroom andwesatont hebedl eani ngont he
headboar dandIjustcuddl edher .Iwi shshe
cancr ybutitlooksl i
keshei sinshock.Aunt y
broughtt hesweetwat erandImadeherdr i
nkit.
Whywoul dtheyat tackanol dhel plesswoman
i
sbey ondme.Shakacal l
edt ofindouti fshe
arri
vedsaf elyandIt oldhim shei sher eeven
thoughshei ssti
llshaken.Ican’ tev eni magine
whatmydaught erisgongt hr oughbutIknow
withtimeshewi ll
recov erandl iveanor mal l
if
e.
Shef ellasl
eepandIl eftherther eandwentme
tocheckonmyl it
tleboywhowasj ustpl ayi
ng
withhi stoysonhi splaymati nthel ounge.I t
’s
ti
mef ormet olookf orabi ggerf l
atcozIcan’ t
accommodat eeveryonei nmymat chboxbutI
needaj obfi
rst.Iwonderwhati sgoi ngoni nthe
Sibi
yahousehol dbecauset heygotev erythi
ng
t
heywant
ed.

Aunty:
Don’tstr
essyoursel
fmychi ldbecauseI
knowGodwi ll
neverfor
sakey ouandy our
chi
ldr
en.Wemi ghtnotbeli
eveinthespi r
itwor
ld
butSotobewil
lprot
ecthisownbl oodjustli
ke
hedidwithThando.Yoursistokeeppr ayi
ngfor
thi
ngstogetbacktonor mal.

Idon’ tknowwhatnor mal isatt hemomentbutI

will
f i
ndi twi thtime.Al lIneedt odor ightnowi s
tobet heref orherandshowherl ov e.Iwi l
lhave
tofindoutf rom Shakai fitwillbesaf et oat t
end
thefuner al consideringt heriskathandaswe
arenotsur ei fthehitwasf orMancwaneor
Thando.Mybabyi ssoy oungy etshehas
startedl i
vingl i
keaf ugitive.Iremember edto
calltheguywhor escuedherandt hankhi m.He
askedi fshei ssaf eandIt ol
dhi mt hatshei s
withme.Het ol
dmet hattheUml azi r
esi dents
hav eappr ehendedt wooft heshoot erswhi l
e
thedr iveroft hecarescapedbuthewi l
l l
etme
knowwhent heyhav egi vent heirstatement s.I
appl audt hoseci t
izenswhost i
llbelievei n
j
ust iceforal l
.Ihear dascr eam from t he
bedr oom andr ant hereonl ytoreal i
zet hatshe
i
sdr eaming.Iwonderhowl ongi twilltakef or
hert ogetov ert hi
sbutIt rustGodt oheal her
brokenhear t.Igott hereandhuggedher .She
wokeupaf tersomet i
meandcamet oj oinus.
Sheaskedi fhergr andmawi l
lmakei tandIhad
tot ellherthet ruth.Shecr iedthosehear t
wrecki ngsobst hatt earahear tbutIhadt obe
strongf orher .Weor der edpi zzat odaybecause
wewer etoooccupi edwi thgr i
eft othingabout
cooki ng.Wehaddi nnert henIbat hedNel eand
changedhi mi ntohi spj s.Thandoal sobat hed
andchangedi ntopy j
amas.Shepl ayedwi thher
brot heruntiltheyf el lasleepont hepl aymat .I
tookt hem t obedandal sowentt osl eep.The
fol
lowi ngdayIwokeupandmadebr eakf ast
t
henaf
terweateIbat
hedt
hem andgott
hem
t
hei
rSundaybest
.

Thando:
wher
ewi
l
lIgot
oschool
nowmom?
Me:Iwil
lfi
ndyouaschoolher
emychi l
d.Uncl
e
Shakawil
lgetyourr
epor
tandtransf
erl
ett
er.
Thando:thankyouf
orbr
ingi
ngmeher
e.Iwas
soscared.Ilov
eyoumom

Igaveheraki ssandahugandweal lleftfor

church.Yesonet hingI’velearntfr
om
Mancwanei st otrustintheLor dandgi ve
everyt
hingtoHi m.Ihopet oraisemychi l
drenin
theknowledget hatwehav eapr ovi
derwho
neverfail
susnomat terthest orms.Thepast or
i
sonf iretodayandhei sonami ssi
ont oheal
thebrokenhear t
edandr estorethem withthe
bloodofthel amb.Af t
erchur chwedr ovet o
spurandhadourl unch.Wedi dnotstayf orl
ong
cozLusanel
eisabitrestl
ess.Igothomeand
changedhimthenstart
edwi t
hdinner.My
phoneranganditwasSinomt ha.

Si
nomt
ha:
howi
sThandot
odayYol
o?
Me:Shei smuchbet t
erSi
noandIexpl
ainedt
o
herthathergrandmaisnomoreandthatshe
wil
lattendschoolher
e
Sinomtha:
Ical
l
edt otel
lyouthatwewil
lbe
mov i
ngtoMari
tzburgfornowthenwhenthi
ngs
settl
edownwewi l
lcomeback
Me:whatar
eyoutal
ki
ngabout
?Whatt
hingsar
e
your
efer
ri
ngto?
Si
nomtha:
Musaandhisfat
herwereher
el ast
ni
ghtandt
heywantt
oknowwher eyoustayin
CapeTownandi
fThandoiswit
hyou
Me:
andwhatdi
dyousay
?Whydot
heywantus?
Si
nomtha:
Myhusbandtol
dthem t
hatyoul
eft
CapeTownaf
tert
hefuner
alcozSanel
ehadn’
t
pai
dthefull
amountashewasgoi ngtopay
monthl
yinstal
ments.Wesai
dthelastti
mewe
hear
dfrom you,y
ouwereattheEaster
nCape
Me:ThankyouSi
no.Ineedtochangemyphone
numberbutwhydotheywantus?
Sinamtha:apparentlythei nsurancecompany
wontpayoutunl esstheygetawr i
tt
enconsent
fr
om y ouandt heycan’ tsellthehousebecause
i
t’
si nThando’snamesounl essshedies,t
here
i
snot hingtheycando.Theycan’ tevengetthe
shareswi t
houty oursignatur e.
Me:Letthem suf
fercozI
’
m notwrit
ingany
consentl
ett
eraft
erwhattheydi
d.Theycanrot
i
nhellforal
lIcar
e.

Wet alkedforawhi l
et henendedthecal
l.I
fi
nisheddinnerthenfedmysquad.Wepr ayed
thenwentt osleep.Thef ol
lowi
ngdayIhadt o
l
ookf oraschool forThandoandIwasl ucky
enought ogetoneaf termuchpleadingand
cry i
ng.Ipai dther egistr
at ionandboughtt he
uni formt hendr ov et omyschool .Wear e
gr aduatingonFr idayandIcan’ twai t
.Iwast old
thatIneedt or epor tatt heof f
iceandIwent
ther e.Theyt oldmet hatt heyf oundmeaj obas
aj uniorcheff orahot elint own.Icoul dn’thol d
backmyexci t
ementatt hi snews.Iwi l
l startin
Januar yast heyhav ealreadyhi r edt empsf or
theDecemberhol i
day s.Af terschool Isatwi t
h
Sinesi phoandKhay akazi.Si newi llbewor king
i
nEastLondonwhi leKhay awi llbei nPaar l.I
can’ tbelievethatwewi llbewor kingf r
om next
year .Ihadt ogot ot hehot eltosi gnacont ract
andwhenIwasdoneIwentt ol ookf orahouse.
Itwi llt
aket i
meandt heyt oldmet hatt heywi l
l
findmeabi ggerpl acet or entf ornowasI ’
m not
eligibletobuysi nceIhav en’tstar tedwor ki ng
yet .Thef oll
owi ngdayIt ookThandowi thmet o
hel pmel ookf oranout fitforgr aduat ion.We
wentt owat erfrontandf oundadr essatFor ever
NewandshoesatAl do.Weboughtaccessor ies
andmakeupt henwenthome.OnThur sday
Johnar ri
vedt henl aterShakaandhi swi fe
arri
ved.Fridaywasabi ttersweetaf fai
rast he
onewhomadei tpossi bleisnother etowi tness
i
t.Itwasn’teasyandt her oadhadal otofspeed
bumpsbutatt heendImadei t
.Mydaught er
maybepl aguedwi thnight maresbutwewi l
lget
there.Ihav etwochi l
drent olookafterandI
won’ tl
etany thingcomebet weenmeandt hem.
Mancwane’ sf uner alisnextweekendatEshowe
wher esheor igi natesf r
om.Theyal ladvisedus
tost ayawayf r om i ttoav oi
danyunnecessar y
dramaandr i
sk.Ij usthav etogetusedt olif
ei n
CapeTownnowandf orgetaboutev erything
else.Ithankedev eryonef orcomi ngandwe
wentt ohav elunchi noneoft hosef ancy
restaurants.Theyl eftthataf t
ernoonandIf elt
l
ov edandpr otect edbyt hesepeopl e.Ont he
secondweekofDecemberwemov edt othe
biggerhouset hatIwi ll
ber enti
ng.It’
si naqui et
neighbourhoodandIhopeIcanbuyi twhent he
ti
mei sri
ght .I
tisani cepl acet oraisechi l
dren
andnotf arfrom Thando’ sschool .Weneedt o
tryandenj oyt heholiday sev enifit’
snoteasy .I
boughtaunt yaf l
i
ghtt ickett oDur banandshe
l
ef t
.Ineedt obuymor ebedsanddecent
couchesf orthelounge.Oncet hehousest art
ed
l
ooki nghomel ywedecor at edtheChr istmas
treeandIwr appedt hei rpr esentswhi letheyare
takinganapandhi dt hem.Thi swassupposed
tobeourf ir
stChr i
stmasasamar ri
edcoupl e
buther eIam now, aloneandhust li
ngf oralif
e
onmyownwi t
htwoki dst or aise.Ifthisis
God’ splant henwhoam It oquest i
oni t
?
Idideverythi
ngtomakeChr ist
masmemor able
butImi ssedSotobesomuch.Thef oll
owing
dayItookmyki dstothebeachandt heyplayed
withotherkidsandswam forhoursonend.I
madeapr omisetomy sel
ftomaketheki ds
growupcomf ort
ableandinalovi
ng
envir
onmentsoIam t hatandmoret othem.
Lordismygui deandlight
.
[
05/
02,
18:
54]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose

Chapt
er36

Aunt ycamebackatt hebegi nningoft hey ear

andmyki dswer ej usthappyt oohappyt osee
her .Thismeanst heyar eboredt obewi thmeal l
thet imeshameandIdon’ tblamet hem.They
hadst ori
estot el
l herandshewasj usthappyt o
l
endaneart othem.Sheappr ov edoft heway
I’
v edecor at
edt hepl aceandcoul dn’tst op
admi ri
ng.Ishowedhert hebedr oom shewi l
l be
usingf r
om nowonwar ds.Istartedwor ki ngand
choset hedayshi ftsasIhav echi ldrenwai ti
ng
formeathome.I tcanbequi t
ebusyi nt he
mor ningsanddur ingl uncht henwer elaxunl ess
ther e’saspecialrequest .Iwon’tlieandsayI
don’ tenjoythi
sj obbecausei tisadr eam come
truef orme.Af terev ery t
hingI’vebeent hrough,
theLor dhasfinallyblessedmewi thmydr eam
j
ob.Ican’ tstoppr ai
singhimf orev ery
thinghe
hasdonef ormebecausei twasn’ teasyget t
ing
here.Ikeepi nt ouchwithSinesiphoand
Khayakazi ast heyaremybest i
es.Theschool s
openedandThandowassohappyt obe
start
ingi nhernewschool andshecoul dn’
twai t
tobet here.Itseemedl ikeIwast oosl owf orher
andbyt hetimewef i
nallyl
eftshej ustcouldn’t
sitst
ill
.ItoldherIwi llf
etchherat3when
school endsandIdr oveofftowor k.Ineedt o
preparebr eakfastforourguests.
Itwasn’
tlongbef oreIwassousedt omy
routi
nethatIwasev enenjoyi
ngi t.I’
m soint une
withbei
ngawor kingmot herthatIdon’ tmi ss
myl i
febeforetheset wower eapar tofit
.It’s
theathl
eticsseasonandThandoi spar tofit.
Sheenjoy srunni
ngandIencour ageherand
whenIhav eti
meIwat chherpract i
seatschool .
Wheny ouar eamot heryouneedt oencour age
yourchil
drenwhent heyshowi nterestintheir
extr
amur alacti
vi
ties.Twot i
mesaweekIt ake
herfortherapyt odealwit
ht hepassingofher
grandmot her.Asf ormydarkchocolate,
hei s
j
ustal i
vewi r
eandaunt yjustloveshi
m.Thi sday
I
’m comi ngbackf rom Thando’sther
apyand
whenwegott herewecouldseet hatauntyis
worri
edaboutsomet hi
ng.

Me:
whati
sitaunt
y?
Aunty:Igotacal lf
rom mysonwhosai dt hati
n
hisrageandf r
ustrati
onoft heli
fecov ernot
payingout,mybr other(Sanele’
sf at
her)letsli
p
thatheusedMut it
omakeJameski llyour
husbandbecausehewoul dhavehadt oletgo
ofhisyoungwi fe.Nowt hattheinsurancei snot
payingoutandhecan’ tsel
lthehousehei s
thi
nkingofgoingbackt othatsangoma
(wit
chdoctor)tomakey ouwr i
tetheconsent
l
etter
Me:Thatwil
lnev
erhappen.Iwi
ll
goonf
ast
ing
andprayf
orthem t
obeexposed.
I’
vebeenqui etfort ool ongthattheyt hinkI’m
stupid.I’
llshowt hem t hatI ’
m notapushov er.I
maynotbest rongspi rituall
ybutIknowt he
Lor dhearsev erypr ayerandhewon’ tf orsake
mef orsomeev i
l doers.It hankedaunt yf orthis
i
nf ormat i
onandwentt ohel pThandowi t
hher
homewor k.IcalledSi nomt haandt oldhert he
l
at est.Sheencour agedmet oprayhar d
becauseev il
won’ twi nal lt
het i
me.Wehadour
dinnerandwat chedabi toftv.Wepr ay edand
wentt oourr ooms.Thandohasn’ tslepti nher
room ev enonce.Shepr ef
erstosleepwi thme
andNel ehashi sowncoti nmybedr oom.Att he
endofFebr uarySanl am pai doutt hel if
ecov er
i
nt omyaccountandIwassosur prised.Al so
thedi vi
dendf rom t heshar eswer epai di ntomy
account .Idon’tknowwhatt hi
smeansandhow
theSot obeswi llfeelaboutt hisbuti tlooksl i
ke
theyar efighti
ngal osingbat tl
eandnowt hey
hav etomai ntaint hehouseev ent houghIcan
seethatal lt
heywanti st
osellit
.What evertheir
reasonsar eforwantingt
osellIdon’twantt o
getinv ol
ved.Igavethem ever
ythingbutfor
somer easonitcamebackt ome.Iwentt othe
estateagentandaskedhi mt ostarttheprocess
ofbuy ingthehouse.Ical
ledShakaandt oldhi m
whatj usthappenedandhej ustlaughedand
tol
dmet ousethemoneywi sely.
Shaka:AllIknowisthatthosefoolssignedthe
wrongpaper snotknowingthattheyaregivi
ng
consenttotheinsurancecompanyt opayof f
.
Theysaidthemoneymustbepai dofftohis
wifeandyouar etherecognisedwifeofmy
fr
iend.
Me:thanksShakat hat
’sal
lIcansayf
ornow
andIwasr eal
lysurpri
sedwhenthemoneywas
pai
d.I’
mi ntheprocessofbuyingmyown
housenow.
Shaka:
Imisst hosekidst
houghandIcan’
twai
t
toseethem again.St
aystr
ongandtakecar
e
ThatnightIsl
eptwithasmi l
eandforthefir
st
ti
mesi nceNelewasbor nIdreamtofSotobe
andhewassmi l
ing.Hedidn’
tsaymuchbutj ust
thatImusttakecareofhiskidsandtr
ytobe
happy.Thefoll
owingmor ni
ngIwaswokenup
byuncleThemba’ sphonecall
.

Themba: Musaisinhospital
.Hehasn’ tbeen
sl
eepinginSanele’
shousef oralongtime
becauseheget sbeat
enbyunknownt hingsat
ni
ghtsoy est
erdayhewasdr i
vi
ngwhenhesay s
hesawSanel einfr
ontofthecarrighti
nt he
middleoftheroad.Hetri
edt oswervet hecar
andhitoncomi ngones.Hei si
nacr it
ical
condit
ionri
ghtnow
Me:whatwashethi
nki
ngfrom ki
ll
inghisown
bl
oodandrobbi
nghisownblood?I’m noteven
bot
her
edbyhim.Ihavetwokidstowor ryabout
Themba:
Ilov
ey ourat
ti
tudemychi
ld.I
fit
’sok
wit
hyouIwouldli
ketovisi
tmygr
andchil
dren
dur
ingt
heEast
ers.

Thi
sguyi
sabl
essi
ngt
omyf
ami
l
y.
[
05/
02,
18:
54]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose

Chapt
er37

Idon’thav etimet odwellonMusa’ smi sfort

une
cozhebr oughtitonhimsel f
.Honest l
yIcan
neverunder standhowsomeonecanbesocr uel
astodoal lthattohisownbr otherandni ece
butthent hisisli
fe.There’sar easonwewer e
broughtt ogethercozbot hourf ami l
i
esar e
messedupandi t’
sreall
ydi f
ficulttounder st
and
howt heyt hi
nk.Asf oruncleThembaIj usthave
nowor dsf orhisgenerosityandhumi li
ty.Hei s
sodifferentf r
om hisbrother.Ev enthought hey
arebot hrichbuthei shumbl eanddownt o
eart
handhasnodesi r
est obeki ngl
ikehis
youngerbrother,whichleavesmewi t
hquest ion
marksaboutMasi biy
awhoi smyki d’
snanny .
Howcomeshedoesn’ thav
et hefamilyfort
une?
Iaskherthisafterrelayi
ngwhathi sbrotherjust
tol
dme.I tbaffl
esmehert wobr other
scoul d
nothelpherachiev esomethingofherl i
fe
i
nsteadtheylefthert ofendforherself
.

Aunty: Thiswi l
lcomeasasur pri
setoy oubutI
am notpoor .Iwasat eacherbeforeIhadmy
sonbutmyhusbandandIdeci dedthatIshoul d
stopwor kingwhenIhadhi m sothatIcanr ai
se
him my self.Whenhest artedgoingtoschool I
wentbackt ot eachingandIenj oyeditthenmy
husbanddi edwhenmysonwasdoi nggr ade8
soIlookedaf terhisbusinessesandqui tmyj ob.
Mysoni snowatv arsi
tyandIgetbor ed
becausehi sbusi nessr unslikeawel loi
led
machi ne.WhenThembat oldmeabouty ou,I
volunteeredt ocomeandl ookafteryour
chil
drenbecauseSanel enev ergotthelov efr
om
hisparents.Theywant edhimt oactadi ff
erent
wayandi fhef ail
edhewasscol ded.Truthis
thatSanelehadasof theartandmybr ot
her
tookthatasbei ngweak.Theynev ershowed
appreciat
ionf orany t
hinghedi dforthem and
whenheachi ev edallthatsuccess,theybecame
j
ealousbecausei twasn’ tMusaorMongezi ,
thei
rpreciousj ewels.Thef i
nalstrawcame
whenhemar riedt hatslutforhim asifwedidn’
t
knowi twashi ssi degirl
fri
end.
Me:Idon’
tunderst
andaunt
y,whywashe
t
reat
edsodiffer
entfr
om t
heotherchi
l
dren?
Aunt y:
mybr ot heri
sar i
tual
istandmynephew
want ednothingt odowi t
hthatki ndofl i
fe
preferr
ingtowor khardforhisachi evements
andasar esult,hegotabur saryaf t
ermat ri
cas
hisparentsdidnotwantt owast et heirmoney
onhi m.Theywant edtouseZandi l
et olur
ehi m
tothedar ksidebuthesawt hemut i
andt hr
ew
i
taway .Thi
si swhyt heydon’ twantThandocoz
shewasn’ tsupposedt obebor n.Iftheycanf i
nd
outaboutNelet
heywi
llcomeaf
terhi
mi norder
tosi
lenceSanel
e’
sspi
ri
twhichi
shaunti
ngthem

Okt histalki
smaki ngmesweatbucket sandI
vowedt onev ersetmyf ootont heDur bansoi l
again.Thesepeopl ear esoobsessedwi t
h
acquiringmor ewealtht hatt heydonotcar e
whoset oestheyst epon.I ’
vehear dst ories
aboutt hisunder worldbutInev ert houghtI
woul dbeconnect edt oitsomehow.NowIknow
whySanel etoldmet onev ertakehi skidst ohis
father’
shouse.Heknowst heev ilassoci at
ed
withhisf amily.CapeTownwi llbemyhomet i
ll
I
decideot herwise.Myki dsar esafeher eandI
nowseet hel ovethiswomanhasf ormyki ds.
Herdr esssensei simpeccabl eandIt houghtit
washerbr othersaf f
ordinghert hecl othesbut
nowIknowbet t
er.Ijusthuggedherand
thankedherf orbeingher e.ThankGodIhav e
beent reati
ngherwi t
hr espectandador ati
onall
thi
st i
mebecauseoft het hingsshet eachesme
ev
ery
day
.
Dayswentbyandmyf ai
thintheLordincreases
wit
hev er
yday
.It
’saFri
dayandwear ecomi ng
fr
om Thandol
wethu’
stherapy
.Icanseet hat
sheisnother
sel
ftodayandIaskifeverythi
ngis
ri
ght.

Thando:Imissmydadmom andsometi
mesI
dream ofhi
m andhei
spl
ayi
ngwithLusaandI
Me:heisnowourguardi
anangelmylov
eand
eachti
mey oumisshi
mjustcl
oseyoureyes
andimaginehim.Weal
lmisshi
m butwenow
haveeachother
Thando:y
ouwon’tgett
ir
edofmeandl eav
eme
al
onenehmommy ?Mygrannysai
dyouhav ea
purehear
tandIdon’
tknowwhatthati
s
Me:Iwillnev
erleaveyoucozinyouIseeyour
f
atherandIfell
inlovewit
hbothy ouandyour
f
ather.Youarenowmychi ldbecauseIl
ove
yourf
athermor
ethanli
fei
tsel
f.Apurehear
t
meanssomeoneloveswit
houtreser
vat
ions
Thando:
soy
oudon’
tmi
ndi
fIcal
lyoumommy
?
Me:
Iam y
ourmom soIwoul
dmi
ndi
fyoudon’
t
Shesmi l
edandev enthoughsheislighti
n
complexionbuteveryt
hingaboutherisher
fat
her.Sheonlytookhermot her
’scomplexion
butsheisat r
ueSotobe.IguessSanel oved
somey el
lowbonesl ol
.Wegothomeandf ound
auntypacingupanddownwi thNel
ei nher
hands.

Me:
whati
swr
ongaunt
y?
Aunty
: heisbur ni
ngup.Weneedt otakehi
mto
hospi
tal.Idon’tknowwhathappenedcozwe
werebot htaki
nganapt henIwokeupandhe
waslyi
ngont hefloorburni
ngup
Me:
okl
etmef
etchhi
shospi
tal
car
dandj
acket
.
Ifet
chedj acket sforallofusandt wot hrows
thenwedr ov eoff
.Ther ewasn’ tmuch
happeningatt hehospitalsowewer eat tended
toinnot ime.Wesatt herei nthewaitingr oom
whiletheyat tendedtohi m.Iwascal ledi nto
holdhim whi l
etheyadmi nisterinj
ect
iont ohim.
Thenur sewhowi lldoitcamei nandt here’s
somethingabouthert hatgi vesmecol dshivers.
Shecamei nandgr eetedmet henlookedat
Nele.Herey eswidenedandIcoul dseeher
sweating.Il ookedintoherey esandIcoul dn’
t
beli
evet her esemblance.Shet ookhiscar dand
l
ookedati tthenwentt ot hesinkanddr ank
waterthensatdownal mostmi ssi
ngt hechai r
.
Nurse:
Sibi
ya?Pl
easet
ell
met
hisi
sSanel
e’
s
son.Whoareyou?
Me:Ishoul
dbeaski
ngy
outhat.Coul
dyouhelp
mysonpleaset
henwecant
alkafter
wards?
Nur
se:
youmustbeBa….
Banoyol
ori
ght?hetol
d
mehowbeaut
if
uly
ouarebutIdi
dn’
tknowyou
werepregnant.Ohmywor d,
theLordisgood.I
am hi
sy oungestsi
sterSt
heandIlef
thome
whenIpassedgr ade12andcameheresoIcan
befarawayf r
om them.

Shequi cklyinject
edmysont henhel dhi m when
hecriedandshei salsocryi
ng.Thatt imeIdon’ t
knowwhet hershei scr y
ingbecauseshei s
happyorsad.Sheki ssedhimt hengav ehim
backt ome.Shegav emehernumbert hent ol
d
meshewi l
l f
etchhismedi cation.Shet oldme
thatshel efthomebecauseshedi dn’tlikethe
wayherf atherdidthingsandshewasscar edof
hisev i
lway s.Whenshet oldmet hatsheonl y
communi cateswi thuncleThembaIknewshe
wasl egitandt ookhert oaunt y.Nooneknows
whereshei scozshedoesnotwantt obef ound.
Whenshesawaunt yshethrewher selfather
thenIintroducedhert oThando.Thi sist he
workoft heLor d
[
05/
02,
18:
54]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose

Chapt
er38

Thest rangestt hinginall t

hisi
st hatmysoni s
playi
ngwi thhi sauntasi fhewasnev ersick.
Whati sgoingonher eandwasheev ersickor
wast hisjustapl oyforust omeetSt he?Not
thatI’m compl ainingbecauseseei ngy ourchil
d
sickisnochi ld’spl ayespecial
lywheny oudon’t
knowwhati swr ongwi thhim.Iaskherhow
l
ongshehasbeenher eandshet ellsmet hat
mostofhert imeshewasbasedi nMossel Bay
untiltwoweeksago.Todayi sherf ir
stni ght
shift
.Imustbedr eamingorsomet hingbutt he
coincidenceisj ustov erwhelming.Weexchange
phonenumber sandshewentt of etch
medi cati
onf orhernephew.Sheaskedoneof
thenur sestot akeagr ouppictur
eofust henwe
l
ef t
.Ithasbeenamemor abledayandi tneedsa
bi
tofcelebration.Wegooutt oeatt henwent
homel at
erint heni ght.I
t’
snotaschool night
andwear enotst rictwi t
hherbedt imeon
weekends.Onweekendsaunt yt akesmet o
worksot hatshecangooutwi tht hekidsifshe
needsto.Shet ookmet owor kint hemor ning
andIgotbusywi tht hebreakfastr ush.Around
11Iwasbusywi t
hl unchwhenIgotacal lfrom
hertel
li
ngmet hatt heyareatt hebeach.It old
hernottobotherf et chi
ngmef rom wor kasI
wil
lcatchaliftwithacol l
eague.Iwantt hem to
havefunandnotwor r
yaboutf etchingme.I
missthem thoughandIcan’ twai tforthe
Easter
ssot hatwecanhav eabr eakt ogether.
Ifi
nishedmyshi f
tandcal l
edacabt ofetchme.
Ihador deredplatt
er s,kebabshereandst i
cky
wingsher eatwor k.Wewon’ tbecookingtoday
becausei t
’saunty’sbi r
thdayandshedoesn’ t
knowt hatIam awar e.Ifet
chthecakeandbuy
snacksanddr inkst hent hecabdropsmehome.
Khay akaziandSinesi phoarri
veshort
lyafterme
andt hesister
sf r
om nextdoor.Aunt yhas
struckaf r
iendshipwiththem andsi sThoko
from acrossthest r
eet.Wesetev erythingup
andshecal l
stosayshei sonherwaybackand
asksi fsheshouldfetchmef rom wor k.Itel
lher
thatI’
m alreadyhome.About20mi nutesorso
shear ri
veswi t
hthekidsandwehi dei nthe
sitt
ingroom.
SURPRI
SE!
!!
!!
!
Thesur pri
sedl ookonherf acet henshebr oke
outi ntoawi desmi l
e.Shet hanksev eryoneand
wesi ngherabi rt
hdaysong.Weal l
at ethen
l
aterSt hearriv
edandt oldust hatshecan’ tstay
l
ongasshehast ost arthershi f
t.Ipackal unch
orr atherdinnerboxf orher .Wecutt hecake
andser veev er
y oneandmyboyj ustcan’tget
enoughofi t.Iwonderi fhewi llsleept onight
aftert hissugarr ush.WhatIl i
kei st hatmy
childrenhadmor efunt hanallofuscombi ned.
Sthel eftthenaf ter8t heot herol dcr ocks
thankedusf ori nvit
ingt hem andl eft.Iprepared
Thando’ sroom f ormyf riendscozshenev er
slepti nitanyway .Idon’ twor konSunday ssoI
wokeupear l
yandpr epar edluncht henweat e
breakf astanddr ovet ochur ch.Ialway senj oy
chur chbutt odayi tmademesadcozi tmade
memi sshomeespeci all
ymymot her .Iwonder
howshei sdoingnowt hatshehasgoneback
tobei ngwi thdad.Af terchur chIdi shedupf or
ever yoneandt ookmysont ohi saf ternoonnap
whi l
eThandowentoutt oplaywi thherf riends
outside.Ial sot ookanapcozI ’
m al itt
ledr owsy
onlyt owakeup20mi nut eslater.Itsst range
howi tfeelsli
keIhav esl eptthewhol e
afternoon.Iwentt ot hel oungeandf ound
aunt i
esl eepingont hecouch.It ookat hrowand
cov eredher .Itookmyphoneandwentt ot he
backpot chandcal l
edsi sNomsa.Ij ustwantt o
knowhowt hesi t
uationi sathomecozmom
won’ tanswerherphoneandIdon’ twantdadt o
hav emynumber .sheanswer edaf teraf ew
ri
ngs.
Nomsa:whatawonder
ful
sur
pri
semychi
l
d,
howareyou?
Me:I
’
m goodaunt
ybutIjustt
houghtofhome
t
oday.Howar
ethi
ngsthough?
Nomsa: Iwasfir
edmychi l
dbecausey
ourmom
toldyourfat
hert
hatI’
mt heonewhopackedher
clothesandgavethem t
oJohn.
Me:I
’m sosorr
yauntyIdi
dn’tknow.Iwonder
howsheisthoughandIsti
l
ldon’tunder
stand
whyshecameback
Nomsa: allIknowist hatshei
snothappy
becauset heseconddayshecameback, she
wasbeat enfornor easonthenhel eftandcame
backaf t
erthreedays.Whenher anoutof
excuseshesai dit
’sbecauseshel efthiminthe
fi
rstpl
ace.Iwast henf ir
edbecausehesai dI’
m
abadi nfl
uenceonherandshehast oomuch
ti
meonherhands.
Me:Thi
sisjustt
oohear
tbr
eakingbutunt
ilshe
want
stoleaveonherownthenther
eisnothing
wecando.Thankyouaunt
y

Ijustsatther
ewat chi
ngthesunsetand
thankingtheLordonceagainthathetookme
outoft hatsi
tuat
ion.Whoknows, maybeI
woul dbedeadbynowconsi deri
ngthathehad
start
edabusingmeandmaki ngmedoal lsor
ts
ofdar kthi
ngs.Thethi
ngswedot hinki
ngthat
i
t’slove.
Day swentbyandSt hewoul dvi
situsal lt
he
ti
me.Shel ovestheki dsandspoilsthem.Ist i
ll
takeThandot otherapyandshei ssl owly
becomi ngbet t
erast hemot hsgoby .Thisti
me
I’
m atwor kandaunt ysendsmeav oicenote
andLusanel ejustsaidhi sfi
rstwordand
strangelyenoughi t
st ata.How’sthatev en
possibleconsideri
ngt hatI
’m aconst anti
nhis
l
ife.Whatabet r
ayal f
r om myangel.Iwas
sul
ki
ngt hewhol
eafter
noonandwhenIgot
homeItriedt
oteachhi
mt osaymamaand
aunt
ylaughedsohardatme.

Aunty:allki
dsstar
twi t
htatawhent heyt
alkand
i
tisnott osaythattheyareactuall
ysayi
ngthat.
Every
thingtothem istatasorelaxmychil
d.I’
m
sureinhisli
ttl
emindhei ssayingmama.
Me: i
tdoesn’tmakesensecozmamaistoo
easy.Iwil
lneverunder
standt
hesel
i
ttl
e
creat
ures.
StrangehowInev erwant edki dsofmyownbut
thi
sonecameasasur priseandagi f
tf r
om
Sotobef r
om theotherside.Hecameatar i
ght
ti
measIwasheadi ngt owar dsselfdistraction.
Myl i
fenowi scompleteandIl ovemychi l
dr en
withallmyheart.Howhi sf atherwouldbeso
happywhenhesai dhisfirstwor dandt ookhi s
fi
rststep.Myboymi ssedoutont hegreat est
l
ov efrom hi
sfatherashegav ehisal
l wheni t
camet okidsespeciallyhisown.Nowher eIam
l
ooki ngatmysonandal lIcanseei shi m.His
eyes, hi
ssmi leandev enhi scuteper fectnose.
It’
sasi fheknewt hatnot hingwoul dwakeme
upf r
om t heselfpi
tyIwasi nandgav emet hi
s
preciousgi f
t.AsI’
mf arawayi nt hought,l
it
tle
manst ealsakissthencl apsmewi thhis
chubbyhandsandIr ewar dhim wi thanother
kissandhebl owsintomymout hmaki ngthat
sweetsoundt hatIlov e.I
fIdidn’tknowIwas
blessedbef orethi
st henmychi ldrenarea
testi
monyt othemanybl essingst hattheLord
shower suponmeondai l
ybasi s.
[
05/
02,
18:
54]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose

Chapt
er39

It
’snowtheEasterbr
eakandauntyneedstogo
homebecausehersonwi l
lbebackfr
om school
.
Iwil
lfor
everbegreat
ful
toThembaandt hi
s
woman.Speaki ngofuncl eThemba, hewillbe
l
andi ngt hisaf t
er noonwi thShakaandSi nomt ha.
Istartedchangi ngbeddi ngint het wobedr ooms
thencookeddi nner .Thandoi spl ayi
ngwithher
brotherandy ouwoul dsweart hatshei stalking
tosomeonewhocanunder standher .Shaka
call
edj ustwhenIf i
nishedcooki ngandasked
met osendt hem di recti
onsast heywillt
akea
cabsoIdi d.Itookashowert henbat hedlittl
e
manandt oldThandot oshowerandchange.
Whent heyar rived, Thandor anandopenedf or
them.Thei rvisitmeanssomucht omeandI
can’tev enexpl ainhowIf eel r
ightnow.They
weresohappyt oseeusandt heat t
enti
oni s
most lyonNel eex ceptforShakawhoi stalking
animat edlywi thThando.Il ov et hesetwo
shameandmyf ami l
ycamebear i
nggift
sf ormy
chil
dr en.Justbef oreIsett het able,
Sthear ri
ved
andgr eet edev er yone.
Themba:Inowunder
standwhatSanel
ewas
tal
ki
ngaboutwhenhesaidhi
schil
drenhav
e
ev
ery
onewhomat
ter
ed
Shaka:
whatar
eyout
alki
ngaboutsi
r?
Themba:Idream ofhim al
ltheti
mesayinghe
wantshi
shouseandcar sandt hemoneyt hat
Mongeziandhisfathert
ook.Af ewday
sagohe
sai
dImustaskMongezi togivehi
schi
ldrenhis
busi
ness
Shaka: Iknewaboutt hebusinessbutitwasn’
t
mypl acet osayany t
hingcozthef amil
yhates
measi tis.Iwanthimt omaket hem hand
everythi
ngbackonasi l
verpl
att
ercozt hi
sishi
s
chil
dren’sinheri
tanceandMongezi i
sjusta
managert her
e
Me:
whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
?
Shaka: t
hatgarageandbedandbreakfast
Mongezi runsatBluffi
sactual
l
ySanele’
s
businesses.Idon’
tknowwhyt hel
awy erdi
dnot
ment i
onitonhiswi l
lunl
essMongezigottohi
m
fi
rstcozSaneletrustedMongimorethanMusa
OkI ’
v ehear di tallandnowMongezi i
sal sopar t
oftheseschemest oswi ndlemychi l
drenof
theirinher i
tance.I ’
llnev erwast emyt i
meand
moneyt aki ngt hesepeopl et ocour t.Ihav ealot
onmypl ateandt heset woki dst akeal l myt ime.
Weenj oy eddi nnert henSt heexcusedher sel
fas
shehadt ogot owor k.Wewat chedabi tofTV
thenpr ay edandwentt osl eep.Thef ollowi ng
dayweal lwentt otabl emount ainforadayof
funt henwentt odinneratEur opaatCanal walk,
Themba’ st reat.Thef oll
owi ngdaywewentt o
thebeachf oraf unf ill
eddayt henwentt oV&A
Wat er frontf orsomeser iousr etailtherapy
cour tesyofShaka.Iev enboughtf ewt hi ngsfor
aunt i
e.Af terdi nnerwewentt owat cht hemov i
e
thenwenthome.OnSundayweal lwentt o
chur cht othankandpr aisetheLor dforal lhi
s
blessi ngs.Theyl ef
tonMondaymor ningandI
wasonanat uralhigh.It hankt heal mi ght yfor
givi
ngmet hesel ovingpeopl einmyl ife.Aunt y
camebacki nt heaf ternoonandshet hanked
mef ort hei t
emsIboughther .Ev erythingi s
goingsowel landnowwear eprepar ingf orli
ttl
e
man’ sf i
rstbi r
thday.I’
m soexci tedandwewant
everythingf rom jumpingcast l
es,slidesand
evenacl own.Iknowt hecl owni sgoi ngt o
scaret helivingday li
ght soutofhi m butIcan’ t
waittoseet helookonhi sf ace.Thedayf inal
ly
cameandal l t
heki dsfrom t hest reetandsome
ofmycol leaguescame.Hi saunt ,Sinesi phoand
Khay akazi alsocameandmychi l
drenl ook
awesomeev enifIhav et osaysomy self.Iwas
ri
ghtaboutt hecl ownt houghbuthehadf un.I
don’tlikethef actthatashegr owshei s
becomi nglighter.Iwanthi mt ogr owupdar k
l
ikehi sdadbuthei slosi ngitev ent houghhe
stil
ll
ooksl i
kehi m.Thatni ghtwear et i
redaf t
er
cleaningandt hrewour selvesont hecoucht i
red.
Sinesi
pho:
myf r
iend,I
t’
sayearandahal
fsi
nce
yourmandied.Don’ty
outhi
nkit
’sti
mefory
ou
tostar
tdati
ng?
Me:
I’
m notr
eadyf
ort
hatandI
’
m happywi
th
myl
i
fet
hewayi
tis
Aunty
:I’
vetri
edt
otalktoherabouti
tbutshe
sayssheisnotr
eadyyetsoIleav
ehertoit

Wet alkedunt ilwef ell

dr owsythenwentt o
sleep.Myf riendsl eftt
hef ol
lowingdayandI
thankedt hem f orcomi ng.Wehav eagr eed
beforeshest artedwor ki
ngwi thust hatshewi l
l
l
eav euswhenNel et urned1y earbutwhenhe
turneday earol daunt i
esai dhewi llwaitunt i
l
Decemberbef oreshegoessot hatIcanst art
him atdaycar et hef ol
lowingy ear.Ithankedher
forhert hought fulnessasIhav en’tevenf ounda
daycar ef orhi m.Ineedt ostartlookingbef ore
i
t’slate.Igott owor konMondayandgotbusy
withbr eakfast .Ar ound10adel i
veryguycame
l
ooki ngf ormeandgav emeabunchofr ed
roses.Ther eisnocar dinitandt hisisjustso
outoft hebl ue.Whocoul dtheybef r
om?I
askedt hedel iverymanandhesai dhewas
cal
ledbyt hefl
oristandonlygivenmynameand
address.Okthi
si screepyandIst artpani
cki
ng
unti
lThomas( theheadchef )sawt hat
somet hingi
swr ongwithme.Hecal ledmeto
ourofficeandwesatdown.

Thomas: whathappenedYol
o?youwer ehappy
notsolongagobutnowy oulookshaken?Is
ever
ythi
ngok?
Me: Igotabunchoff l
ower swithoutacardand
I’
m wor ri
edthati
tmightbef rom someoneI’ve
beenr unningawayfr
om.Thel asttimeI
checked, hewasinprisonbutany thi
ngi
s
possiblesincehi
sfatherisast at
ion
commanderandhei swor kingwithabusiness
tycoonf r
om Durban.
Thomas:cal
lyourlawyertofi
ndoutifheisout
befor
eyoufr
eaky oursel
foutbecauseitmight
j
ustbeasecretadmirer
Me:
secr
etadmi
rerser
iousl
y?Idoubtt
hat
.
That
’sf
orbeaut
if
ulwomennotme
Thomas: yousellyourselfshortmyangelcoz
youaresmoki nghotwi t
habodyt omatch.IfI
didn’
tknowabouty ourchildr
enIwouldthi
nk
youhavenochi ld.Findoutaboutthi
sman
befor
ey oustartwor ry
ing

Ithankedhim andcall
edt helawyertofindoutif
heknowsany thingaboutJamesandhesai dhe
wouldf i
ndout.Coulditbethatthi
smani sout
andhasf oundoutwher eIam?I fso,willIever
bef r
eeofhim?Iam scar edandIdon’ tknowi fI
canst andt
hewai ti
ng.Thisismyl i
fe!
!!
Afterthel unchr ushIwentt oanear bydaycar e
centreandf i
ll
edanappl i
cat
ionformylittl
eman.
Theyshowedmear oundthepremisesandI
wasi mpr essed.I tiscleanandhasal lt
he
anemi ti
est hatagr owingchildneedsandt hey
haveenoughst affmember stolookafterour
chi
ldren.Thef eei spr i
cybutiti
swor t
hev ery
centdormypr incecozIwantonl ythebestf or
him.Icoul dnev erputapr iceonmychi ldren’s
headsandt hepayatt hehot elisgood.Iwentt o
fetchmydaught erfr
om school andshei sso
happyaboutt hest arshegoti nmat hsand
dramacl ass.Herent husiasm makesmet hink
ofherf athert
hough.Shehashi smanner isms
event hewayshechuckl esandhowshel ooks
aty ouli
keshei sst eali
ngagl ance.Thanky ou
Sot obeforthi
spr eci
ousgi ft
.Thef oll
owingday
atex actl
y10o’cl ockIgotanot herdeli
veryand
thi
st imei t
’sl
il
i
esandi talsodoesn’ thav ea
card
[
05/
02,
18:
54]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose

Chapt
er40
Ij
ustthrewthem awayinthet
rashcanand
cont
inuedwithmywor k.Wearetoobusytoday
andIreall
yhavenotimetodwellonthi
s.The
l
awyercamebackt omeandsai dthatJamesis
stil
lincust odywhi chmeanst hesef lower sare
from ast upidadmi rer.All Iseei sacowar d
hidingbehi ndsomest upidpr ank.I fhet hinks
thisi sromant i
ct henhedoesn’ tknowmeatal l
.
Wecar ri
edonwi t
ht hewor kathandasi f
nothi nghashappened.OnSat urdayIwokeup
earlyasIwant edt odoourl aundryandcl ean.I
putal l
ourcl othesi nt hemachi neandcl eaned
thewhol ehouse.It henf edmybabyandmade
breakf astf orev eryone.Weneedt odoourhai r
sowegotr eadyandwentt ot hesal oon.Weal l
didourhai randmysongothi sfirsthaircut .I
t’
s
suchami ssiont ogethi mt osi tinonepl acebut
Thandocancal m hi m downwhi l
eaunt yandI
faildismal l
y.Aunt yt henf orcedmet odoa
mani cureandpedi cur e.Si nceSanel ediedI ’ve
nev err eallycaredhowIl ookl i
ke.Sheal sodi da
mani curet henwewentshoppi ng.Ial way sbuy
fort heki dsanddon’ treallycar eaboutmy self
butt odayi tl
ooksl ikeThandoandaunt yar eon
ami ssiont ogetmygr oov eback.Af terthe
shoppingspr ee, weputt hebagsi nthebootof
mycart henwentt owat chamov ie.Ift
here’s
onet hi
ngt hatmysonenj oy stheni t’
sthecar
andt hecinema.Idon’ tknowwhet herit’
sthe
bigscreent hatf ascinateshi m orthesur r
ound
soundbuthej ustcan’ tgetenoughofi t
.He
cri
edwhenwel eftthet heat rebutIpr omisedt o
buyhi m chocol at eandhest oppedi mmedi atel
y.
Somysonknowshowt omani pulatemeat
suchay oungage?I ’mi nt roubleifhecar ri
eson
l
ikethis, I
’
mt elli
ngy ou.Wewentt ohavedi nner
thendr ovehome.Twoweeksf rom thenaunt y
hadt ogohomef oraf uner alandSt heinv i
tedus
tohav edinneratwat erfront .Wegotr eadyandI
droveust here.Wear r
ivedbef oreherand
orderedsomet hingt odr ink.Thi sguywear inga
tai
lormadesui tcamet oourt ableandgr eeted
us.Hei st allandst r
iki
ngl yhandsome.
Hi
m:beaut
if
ulf
ami
l
yyouhav
ether
emi
ss
Me:
thanky
ou
Hestartedplayi
ngwithNel eandhewas
l
aughingasi fi
t’
ssomeonehehasknownf ora
whi
le.Hesmel l
ssoniceandev ery
thi
ngabout
hi
mi sjustinit
’sri
ghtplace.Heisnotsmal
lor
bi
gbutj usttheri
ghtsizeIguess.
Him:Mynamei sVi
ctorKhumalofr
om
Johannesbur
gbutInowresi
deatCampsBay
.I
wouldli
ketoknowyoumypr i
ncess
Me:Banoyol
oNyat
hif
rom East
ernCape,
Ili
veat
Bant
ryBayandt
hesearemychildr
en.
Him:Lovel
yfami
l
y,mydi
nnerdatehasarr
ived
soifyoudon’
tmi
ndcanIhaveyourphone
numbers?

WhileIwasstil
ldebati
ng,St
hearri
vedand
greetedev
eryone.Heaskedforthenumber
againandSthejustgaveitt
ohim andhe
excusedhimself
.Ilookedatherandshej
ust
shr
uggedhershoul
der
s.

Sthe:knowingyou,youwerenotgoingtogi
ve
himy ournumber.ComeonYol o,i
t’
salmosttwo
yearsnowandy ouar est
il
lyoung.Youneed
happinessinyourl
if
e
Me:
myki
dsmakemehappy
St
he:
youar
enotev
en25y
etsol
i
veal
i
ttl
e

Weenj oyedourdinnerandev enhaddesser

t.By
theti
mewef i
nishedt hough,
Lusanel
ewas
drowsyandirri
table.Weaskedf ort
hebil
land
ourwaiterj
ustsmi led
Wait
er:
thegent
lemanonthattabl
easkedthatI
char
geyourmealst
ohisbi
llsoyoudon’towe
usanyt
hing.
Iaskedhi
mt othankVict
orforusashelooked
l
ikehewasbusywi t
hthepersonhewashav i
ng
dinnerwi
thanditl
ookedli
keabusinessdinner.
WethenleftandwhenwegothomeItookmy
sontobedthenwentbacktowatchabi
tofTV
asIam notdrowsy
.Igotacal
lfr
om anunsav
ed
numberandIanswered.
Vi
ctor
:Mypri
ncess,
thi
sisVict
orf
rom ear
li
eron.
Hopeyouar
ri
vedsafel
yathome.
Me:Iar
ri
vedsaf
elyt
hanksandthankyouagai
n
f
orpayi
ngourbi
ll
.Icoul
dseeyouwerebusy
wi
thyourdat
eanddidnotwanttodi
stur
b
Victor
:it
’snot
hingr
eal
l
y.Letmenotkeepy
ou
then.Goodnight
Me:
Goodni
ght
Thefoll
owi ngdaywewentt ochur chthencame
backandpl ayedwithmyki dst hewhol e
aft
ernoon.Wef etchedaunt yfr
om t heairport
l
ateintheev eni
ng.Thef oll
owingdayar ound
l
unchIgotagi f
tandst i
l
l i
tdoesn’tsaywhoi t’
s
fr
om andwhenIopenedi tIfoundedi bleundies
andgavet hem backtot hedeliver
yguyandt old
hi
mt otaket hem back.Thisisbecomi ngcreepy
andIdon’tknowwhattomakeofi t.That
aft
ernoonIgothomeabitdist
ractedandt i
red
andsoont her
ewasanotherdel
iveryandthis
ti
mei twasalett
erandwhenIopenedi t,
itonl
y
hadoneline.

ATLASTIFI
NDU.RUSH
[
05/
02,
18:
54]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose

Chapt
er41

Istar
tedsweatingandwentst raightt
omy
bedroom.Whocoul dthisbeandhowdi dhe
fi
ndmeorwhatdoeshewantf rom me?Iknelt
downandpr ayedbutwor dsjustfail
edme.I
havechil
drenandIcan’taffordtohav emypast
creepupli
kethis.It
ookal ongbat hthenwent
tojoi
nmyf amilyatthelounge.Thandoneeds
helpwit
hherhomewor kwhileli
ttlemanjust
want stoplay.Iplayedpiggybackwi thhim
whilehelpingThandowi t
hherEnglish
homewor k.Wehaddi nnerthenpray ed.Ithen
bathedhi m andputhi mtobed.Ineedt osleep
earl
yt odaycozmymi ndisnothere.Victor
cal
ledandwi shedmegoodni ght
.Heaskedi f
wecanmeetf ordinnerandhonestlyIdon’ t
tr
ustany oneatt hismomentsoIcameupwi t
h
anexcuse.

Vict
or:l
unchthenplease.Ireal
lyneedtogett
o
knowy oubett
erandnot hi
ngmor e.Wecan
evenhaveiti
ny ouroff
iceifyoudon’tt
rustme.
Justtel
lmewher eyouwor kandIwi l
lcome
ther
e.Wecanl eavethedooropensoy our
coll
eaguescanseeme.

Icouldn’
tstoplaughingathissuggest
ioncoz
hewasspotonaboutt hetrusti
ssueandaf ter
thelett
erIgotIjustcan’
tstopbeingscared.I
agreedt ohi ssuggest i
onandhesai dhewoul d
comeonWednesdaycozt omor rowhehasa
busyday .It ol dhi mt ocomeat14: 00cozt hat’s
whenIcant akemyl unchbr eak.Het hankedme
andwesai dourgoodni ghtandendedt hecal l
.
Thef ollowi ngdayIwascat eringf oraf unct i
on
atoneofourboar droomssoIwaswor kingin
thesmal lerki tchenwi t
ht wol adieshel pingme.
Wef inishedj ustbef ore1o’ clockandt he
waiterswentt osetupf orlunchwhi leIt akea
muchneededbr eak.Iwasbusywi ththest ock
countwhent her eceptioncal ledmeandt old
met hatIhav eapar cel
.Iwasev enaf r
ai dt osee
whati tisbutIdon’ twantt ospookany one
aboutmyf ear ssoIwentt of etchitand
checkedwhati twasandi twasapi ctureofme
andmychi ldrent akenonSundaywhenwel eft
church.It hinki t’
shi ght imeIi nvolv ethepol ice
cozt hisisget ti
ngoutofhand.Af terwor kI
drovest rai ghtt ot hepol icest at i
onandt old
them ev er ythi ng.Theysai dt heywi llput
someoneatthehotelt
ofoll
owt hedel
i
veryguy
toseewhoher epor
tstobecausehemightbea
danger
ousperson.Iwentt
of et
chThandoat
school
andwedr ovehome.

Aunty:alett
erhasjustbeenhanddeli
ver
edto
you.Iputitonthekit
chencounterandIt
hinki
t
wasf i
vemi nut
esagoorso

Ineedtoupgrademysecur i
tysyst
em and
i
nstal
lcamerasinsideandoutsi
dethehouse
cozthi
sisscary.Thisper
sonhasat imeonhis
handsandIdon’tknowhowt odeal wit
hthi
s.I
openedthel
etteranditsai
d
WHYSPOILTHEFUNANDGOTOTHEPOLICE,
RUSH?IJUSTWANTEDTOTASTEYOUAGAI
N
BUTIWANTYOUALLTOMYSELFNOW
Iwenttotakeashowerandchangedi
nto
somethi
ngcomf or
tabl
easmyl i
tt
lemanwant
s
toplay .Hisener gyisj ustwhatIneedt of orget
myt roubles.Whent heki dswer easleep, Itold
auntywhatwasgoi ngonandhet ol
dmet ocal l
thesecur it
ycompanyandaskt hem t oi nstall
thecamer asf irstthingt omor rowbecausewe
don’tknowwhatt hispsy choi scapabl eof .
Whathav eIgotmy selfintoandwi l
lIev erget
outofi tali
ve?Ican’ tdieandl eavemyki ds
alone.Thef ol l
owi ngdayIwentt owor kandj ust
toldther ecept i
oni stt ocal l
mewhent hat
deliv
er ymancomesagai nasIneedt osignf or
i
tmy self
.Iwentt otheki tchen, washedmy
handsandst artedwi thbr eakfast.Thomas
camear ound9andIt ol
dhi m aboutmycr eepy
admi rerandhet oldmet or epor ttot hepol i
ce
andi ftheyneedt hesecur it
yfoot agehewi l
l
taket hem tot hemanagercozt hi
si soutof
handnow.Unf ortunat el
yt herewasnodel ivery
thatdayandt hepol iceaskedf orthehot el
camer afootagef ort heday sIgott hegi ftsand
themanagerwashappyt oi ndulget hem.I t
’s
nowt woO’ cl
ockandI ’mj ustf i
nishingdoi ngt
he
order sforthedaywhenVi ctorcal l
edtosayhe
i
satt hecustomerpar kingl ot.Itookofmy
uniform andappl iedl
ipstickt henwentt omeet
him.Hei sstandingout si
dehi scarwear ing
formal trouserandacr i
spywhi teshirt
.Hehas
sungl assesonandIsuddenl yf el
tunder
dressedbuthey ,Ican’tchangenow.Hehugged
meandgav emeapeckont hecheekt hentook
outt hetakeawayboxesf rom t hebackseatof
hiscarandwewentt ositint het ables
overlookingthepool andat e.

Vict
or:
howol
dar
eyoui
fyoudon’
tmi
ndme
aski
ng?
Me:
I’
m 24andy
ou?
Vi
ctor
:NowIsuddenl
yfeel
anci
ent
.I’
m 36
Me:
arey
oumar
ri
ed?
Vi
ctor
:di
vor
cedwi
tht
woki
dsbot
hgi
rl
s.12and
8y
earol
d
Me:
aret
heyl
i
vingwi
thy
ouorwi
tht
hei
rmot
her
?
Victor:Theyar
ewiththeirmotheri
nDurbanbut
theyv i
sitmeever
yholiday.Whataboutt
he
fatherofyourchi
l
dren?
Me:
hedi
edt
woy
ear
sago.
Ther ewast hatawkwar dsi
lencewhi l
ewe
concent ratedonourf oodandIdi dn’tknow
whet herhei stryingtof i
ndther i
ghtwor dsto
sayorhewant st ogiv emet i
met ocompose
my self.Hecoul dseet hatsomet hingwas
eatingmeupandIj ustt oldhimt hatIhav ea
creepyst alkerwhoev enknowsmyki dsand
wher eIst ay.Hest oodupandgav emeahug
thenmadeacal l tosomeoneaski nghowsoon
theycani nstal
lsecur itysystem tomyhouse
andmay becamer as.Het hengav emet heguys
numbersoIcansendhi m myaddr ess.I
thankedhi m andhet oldmet hattheguywi llbe
therebef ore4o’ clockt oday.Iwi l
l havetotel
l
himt hewhol et r
uthbutI ’
m scar ed.Heasked
meaboutmy selfandt hatjustopenedt heline
ofconv er
sati
onf oruscozIl ovemyj ob.Het ol
d
met hatheownsal uxuryboathi r
ingser v
ices
andasmal l
restaurant .Iknowt hecompanyhe
ownscozourhot el hast akenusonaboat
cruiseoneTuesdayandwewer etreatedli
ke
royalty.Iwouldnev erhav eguessedhi sage
thoughcozhei sthosebabyf acedmenev en
thoughhehasacer tainpresenceabouthi m.I
enjoy edmyl unchdat ewi t
hhi m andwheni t
wast imeformet ogobacki n,het hankedme
forthet imewespentt ogetherandaskedt hat
wemeetagai nnex tweekashehast ogot o
Mozambi quef oraf ewday s.Hesay sit’
s
businessandIdi dn’twantt opr y.
[
05/
02,
18:
54]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose

Chapt
er42
Ifi
nishedmywor kthenwentt of et
chmy
daught erf
rom schoolandwenthome.Aunt yi
s
l
ikeamot hertomesoIt oldheraboutt hedateI
j
usthadandhersmi l
ejustr ubbedof fonme
andIsawmy sel
fsmili
ngt oo.Il i
kethatIcan
tal
kt oheraboutany t
hing.It’stooear l
ytogivea
namet owhatI’m doi
ngwi thVi ctorbutIl
ikethe
personhei sandt al
ki
ngt ohi m.Hecangi veyou
hisattenti
onandmakest heconv ersat
ionjust
fl
ow.
Aunt
y:canIgi
vey
ouadv
icemychi
l
d?
Me:
yesaunt
yIwoul
dlov
ethat
Aunty:i
fyoul
iket
hisboy,pl
easetell
him about
yourpastsot
hathecanmakeani nf
ormed
choi
ce.Ifhel
i
kesyouhewi l
lstaynomat ter
whatyouhavedoneinthepast

Iknowwhatauntyissayi
ngmakessenseand
i
t’
sbetterIt
ellhi
m nowbefor
ewegetcloseand
devel
opfeel
ingssothati
fhewant
stobounce
hecandosonow.WhenhecomesbackIwi l
l
l
ethi m knowev eryt
hingaboutme, that ’
si fIcan
gat herenoughcour aget odoso.Thesecur ity
companyguy scomeandi nstall
edev erything
andf i
nishedj ustafter7.Theyconnect ed
ever ythingt omyphoneandl aptopsot hatIcan
moni tort hesy stem eveni fI’
m notathome.I
madesur et hatthecamer asareal soi nstalled
i
nmypassagel eadingtot hebedr oomssot hat
Icancl ear lyseewhot r
iest oent erourr ooms.
Thesy st em t ri
ggersaf l
oodl ightatt hef ront
andbacky ardandanal armt hatsoundsl ikea
pol i
cesi ren.It hankedt heguy sandt heyl ef t
.I
sentVi ctoramessaget hankinghi m andhe
saidhewi l
l cal
lthemomenthel andsashei s
stil
l f
lying.Wehadourdi nnerthenIbat hedt he
kidsandt heywentt obedwhi lewewat ch
televisionwi t
haunty.
Aunt
y:openy ourheartmychildandmaybehe
i
stherealdeal.Il
ikethathei
sconcernedabout
youandyourchi l
dren’
ssafet
y.
Me:Iwasal
sosurpri
sedbutIguesssome
peopl
earej
ustgoodhear
tedli
kethat
Aunty:
hemakesmet hinkofmynephewSanel
e.
Hewassel f
lessandalwaysputot
herpeopl
e’
s
needsbefor
ehi sownanddidnotl
iketobe
prai
sedfordoinggood.
Me:Iwasl
uckytobelovedbyhi
m aunt
y.He
showedmethatnotal
lmenaremonster
sand
gavemehopeforthef
uture
Aunty
:soar
ewecel
ebr
ati
ngy
our24t
hbi
rt
hday
thi
syear
?
Me: noaunt
y.Wewi l
lcel
ebrateThando’
s
bir
thdayandnotmine.I’
m notint
hemoodt o
cel
ebratemine.MaybenextyearwhenItur
n25
Aunty
:Iwi
l
lhol
dyout
oitandwewi
ll
comeher
e
wit
hmysontomakesur
eit’
smemor
abl
e

Wetal
kedforawhil
ethenVict
orcall
edandtol
d
mehearr
ivedsaf
elyandhasjustcheckedi
nat
thehot el
.Hegav emet hehot el numberandhi s
room numberi ncasehi scellisof fcozhesai d
thenet workwasnott hatstrong.It hankedhi m
againfort hesecur i
tysy stem.I twasar ound1
am whent heal arm wentof fandt hef loodl ights
cameon.Myki dswokeupandsoonIhear da
cardr i
veof f .Iquicklycheckedt hemoni t
orand
sawamani nahoodi est andingout sidemy
windowj er kingof f.Mycur t
ainisnotcl osedal l
thewayandt hel i
ghti nmybedr oom i soncoz
Thandohat est hedar k.Ican’ tseet hef acebut
I’
m suret hesy stem scar edhim of ff orawhi le.
Auntieent er edmyr oom andsoont hesecur ity
responsecarar rivedandIshowedt hem t he
footage.Theydr ov eof ftoseei ftheycan’ t
catchthecul pri
twhi leaunt ycal l
edt hepol ice
andt ol
dt hem whathappened.Mychi ldrenar ea
bitscaredast heydon’ tknowwhati sgoi ngon
andIt rytocal mt hem down.Thi si sget t
ingout
ofhandandI ’m atmywi t’
sendr i
ghtnow.
May beweshoul dst ayawayf orawhi l
ecozt hi
s
i
sscar y .Ipackedmychi l
dren’sclothesand
someofmi net henaskedaunt ietopackher
clothesaswewi l
lhavetost ayawayf oraweek
orso.Ican’ ttakechanceswheni tcomest omy
safetyandt hatofmychi l
dren.Iwentt othe
garageandputt hebagsi nt hebootoft hecar
thenwentbackt osleep.Thef oll
owingmor ning
Icalledacabt of etchust owor kthengav e
aunt ythekey sandt ol
dhert hatIwi l
lcallher
whenIhav emadeabooki ng.Wedr oppedt he
kidsof fatschool t
henhedr oppedmeof fat
wor k.Igott other ecepti
onandbookedt wo
roomsf oraweek.It hensentaunt yamessage
tell
i
nghert ocomet othehot elattwoast hatis
ourchecki ntime.Iwentt omyof fi
ceandput
onmyuni f
or mt hengotacal lfr
om Victor.He
want edt otellmet hathei sonhi swayt ohis
fi
rstmeet i
ngf orthedayandt owishmeagr eat
day.

Me:
thanksVi
c.l
astni
ghtorr
atherear
lyt
his
mor ni
ng,t
healarm wentof
fandwhenI
checkedthemonitorIsawthatguyj
erki
ngoff
undermywi ndowbuthegotawaybef or
ethe
responseteam ar
ri
ved.
Vict
or:
Thisisgett
ingser i
ousLolo.HowaboutI
bookyouinahotel unt
ilIcomeback?Iknow
wehaven’tknowneachot herforlongbutIcar
e
aboutyouandthosekids
Me:ThanksVbutI
’v
ealreadydonethat
.We’
ll
best
ayingatt
hehotel
Iwor kf
orthi
sweek.
Vict
or:I
’l
lseewhatIcandoasI ’
m worri
ed
aboutyourdaught
er’
ssafetyatschool
.I’
l
lcal
l
youlat
ermypr i
ncess.Takecareofyour
selfi
n
themeantime
Me:
thanks.Goodl
uckwi
tht
hatmeet
ing

Igotbackt oworkandstart
edwi t
ht he
breakfast
.Wehav etheseguysthatareheref
or
tr
ainingandtheywantthei
rbreakfastser
vedin
thesepar atedi ni
ngr oom soIam i nchargeof
them thewhol eweek.If i
nishedpr epari
ngt hen
plannedmyl uncht akingi ntoconsiderati
ont hei
r
specialneeds.Somepeopl ejusttakethef un
outofcooki ngbyal ltheseel i
minat i
onsbutI
managedt ocomeupwi thav ar
iedand
sumpt uousmenuandst art
edwi ththe
preparations.Itwasj ustaf ter1pm whenIgota
callf
rom r ecept i
ont hatIhav evisi
torsandI
wentt ocheckwhoi tis.Itwast wov erytalland
bulkymeni nsui t
sandt heysmi ledwhenI
approachedt hem.It ookt hem tomyof fi
ceand
forsomewei rdthingIt houghthowsaf eIwas
aroundt hem.Wegott otheof fi
ceandIof fered
them seat s.

Man1: WehavebeensentbyMrKhumal ot
o
takeyourdaughtert
oandfr
om school
unti
lthe
culpr
iti
sapprehended
Me:
excusemef
oraski
ngt
hisbuthowmuch
doesonepayt
ohav
eyourpr
otect
iondai
l
y?
Man1: Heownst hecompanythatof
fer
s
pr
otectiontohi
ghprofil
ecl
ient
ell
emadam so
hedidn’thavet
opay .

Howmanycompani esdoest hismanown?I

gav ethem Thando’ sschool addr essandt he
ti
meshef i
nishesatschool .Theywi llhav etogo
withaunt ycozmydaught erwi l
lnev ergeti ntoa
carwi thstrangemenunl esst heyfor cehi m.
Aunt yarr
ivedandshewast akent oherr oom
thenat3: 00shel ef
twi t
hthet woment ogoand
fetchThandof rom school.Ifinishedupt hen
wentt omyr oom wi thmyl i
ttl
eboycozIasked
aunt ytoleavehi m sinceI’
m donef ort heday .I
tookashowerandwhenIgotoutoft heshower
myphonewasr ingingandanswer edi t.
Man1: t
herewasashootoutmadam j
ust
outsi
dey ourschool
andweareonthewayt
o
hospi
talaswespeak.Mymanandy our
daught
ersust
ainedi
njur
ies.

Myheadst art
edspi nni ngandIqui cklysat
downasIcoul dfeel my sel
fsl eepingoutof
consciousnessandbl acknessengul fedme.I
waswokenupbyapi ercingcr yofmyboy .I
tookhim andheldhi mt heni thitmet hatmy
daughterisinhospi tal.Iqui cklygotdr essed
thentookt hekeysandmyboy ’
sbott l
eand
puri
tyandwel ef
t.Igott othehospi taland
auntytoldmet hatThandoi snotbadl yhur t
becauset hebody guar dshi eldedherbuthef el
l
onherandshehi therheadont hepav ement.
Me:
didt
heymanaget
ogett
hecul
pri
tthough?
Auntylookeddownandt earsj
ustfel
lfr
om her
eyes.Shetil
tedherheadt owardstheoperat
ing
theat
reandIwentt ostandbytheglassand
l
ookedatt hepatienttheywerebusywithand
mykneeswentweekandIf ellt
othegroundnot
beli
evi
ngmyey es.
[
05/
02,
18:
54]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose

Chapt
er44

Ididn’tmov eani nchandt ear sjustf elldown

mycheeksl i
ket heriverNi le.Idon’ tknowwhy
I’
m cry i
ngbecausei t’snotl ikeIl ov etheguybut
Ihatet hef actthatIshar edmydar kpastwi th
him onlyf orhimt owal koutl i
ket hatwi thout
sayingawor d.Iwasexpect i
ngt hiskindof
reacti
oncozmypasti st oodar kt hany our
ordinaryJanebutt hisshar i
ngbusi nessi scrap.
Iwillnevermakemy selft obet hatv ul
ner able
again.Idon’ tknowhowl ongIsatl iket hatbutI
couldswearIf eltpar alysedandr ootedt ot hat
sofa.Ther ewasaknockatt hedoorandI
couldn’tmov ecozIdi dn’tt rustmyl egs.
Besides, Ididn’tf eelliket alkingt oany one.I t
’s
wayaf termi dni ghtandwhatev eritiscanwai t
untilmor ning.Ihear df oot stepst henaf tera
whil
ethedooropenedandIhear
dthecar
etaker
t
alki
ngtoVict
orthenhesawme.

Caret
aker
: I
’
m sorr
ymissNyat
hi,wethought
somethi
nghadhappenedtoyou.Isi
tokifI
l
eavehim here?
Me:
It’
sfi
ney
oucanl
eav
ehi
m
Hecl osedt hedooronhi swayoutt henVictor
cameandsetnextt omeont hecouchand
huggedmel ett
ingmyheadr estonhischest .
West ayedlikethatforalongt i
mewi thout
talki
ng.Het henledmet ot hebedroom andwe
gotint obedf ul
lydressed.Hei swearing
tracksuitandI ’
m wearingleggingsandal onger
l
engt ht ee.Hesleptbehindmewhi leIgavehim
mybackt henhehel dmecl osertohim

Vi
ctor:
areyousuret
hatJamesi
syour
bi
ologi
calbr
other
?
Me:yeshei
sV.Wehav
ethesamemot
herand
f
ather
Victor :Iwasshockedandangr ybywhaty ou
toldmeandIneededt opr ocessi tonmyown.
I’
m notgoi ngany wheresor elaxOl o.Isti
llwant
togett oknowy ou,t
her ealyounott heonet hey
tri
edt odest roy.Iwantt oknowt hest r
ong
womanwhor oseabov eherpai nfulpastand
becameacar eerwomanandl ovingmot her.I
wantt oknowt hewomanbehi ndt hepainand
seey ourvulnerablesi
de.Iwantt ol oveyouand
treaty oulikethequeeny ouar e.Iwon’tpromi se
yout hewor l
dcozI ’m alsohumanandImake
mi stakesbuty ouarethewomanIwant .Imi ght
nothav emuchbutI ’
m pr eparedt osharethe
l
ittleIhav ewi thyou

I
sitpossi
blethatthi
smanisareincarnati
onof
t
hedelect
ableMrSi bi
ya?Hi
swordst ouched
meandIdidn’tknowwhetherIwasdr eamingor
hewasr eal l
ysay ingt hem.Weagr eedt ot ake
thi
ngsslowl ycozIst il
l don’tknowwhatIwant
butIwon’ tli
eandsayI ’m notmov edbyhi s
speech.Wet alkedaboutev eryt
hingundert he
sununtilIfellasleep.Iwokeupj ustaf t
er5coz
that
’sthet i
met hatlittl
emannor mal lywakes
upanddemandhi sf ood.Aunt ieandIagr eed
l
astnightt hatIshoul dst opbr eastfeedi ngand
shewi l
lsleepwi thhi m unt ilhegetsusedt othat.
Imisshimt houghandmybr eastsf eeltender
andaref ullsoIgot ot hebat hroom andj ust
pumpedt hem intot het oil
etandIf eltli
keIwas
cheati
ngmysonandst art
edcr ying.If i
nished
andjustsatont het oiletseatandcr ied.Idon’ t
knowwhyI ’m cryingbutIj ustneedt orelease.I
ranashowert henwentbackt ot hebedr oom
andwor eanav ysundr essandgol dsandal s.I
wast yi
ngmybr aidsint oabunwhenhecame
behindmeandhuggedme.

Vi
ctor
:mor
ningmypr
incess.Howdi
dyousl
eep?
Me:morni
ngV.Isl
eptl
i
keababyt
hanksand
howdi
dy ousl
eep?
Vict
or:hav
ingyouinmyarmswasallIever
wantedandmor esoi
twaspeaceful
.Babedo
youmindifIaskyousomethi
ng?
Me:
Idon’
tmi
ndbabesowhati
sit
?
Vict
or:
YouleftJameswheny oujusttur
ned20
andmetSaneleay earandahal fl
atersohow
comey ouar
e24andy ethavetwochi l
drenwi
th
hi
m andoneoft hoseis8y ear
s?
Me: Thandoi sSanele’
schil
d.Shelosther
mot herandhergr andmotherr
aisedherwiththe
helpofherf athercozhewashandson.Her
grandi edsavingherli
fef
rom arainofbul
lets
l
atel astyearandItookher
Heturnedmeandl ookedst
r ai
ghtint
omyey es
foral
ongtimet henhuggedme.Het oldmethat
hehastogobutwi l
lcall
medur ingtheday
.He
wenttothebathroom andrinsedhismouthwith
mouthwashthent ookhiskey sandheaded
towardst
hedoor.Heopenedt
hedoor
,shook
hisheadandt
urned
Vi
ctor
:ar
eyousur
eyouar
e24?

Het henl eftandIsatt her

esmi l
ingli
keani di
ot.
Icall
edaunt ietof i
ndouthowmypr i
ncei s
doingandIcoul dhearhi mf ussingont he
backgr ound.Shet oldmenott ocomet oher
room unt ilhecal msdown.That ’sgoingt obea
l
ongwai tcozt hisi sourbondi ngtime.Atl east
I’
m notgoi ngtowor ktodaysoIwi l
lcatchupon
l
ostt i
medur i
ngt heday .I
twasar ound8when
theyfinallyknockedonmydoorandmyboyr an
tome.Iki ssedhi m andwewentdownt ohav e
breakfastt henpackedourbagsandchecked
out.Wedr oppedourbagsatt hehouseand
drovet ohospi tal.Thepolicemenguar ding
Mongezi ’
sr oom wer enott hereandIst arted
panickingandaskedt henurseswhatwas
happeni ngandt heyt oldmet hathedi edlast
ni
ght
.
Lastni
ght
???
Iwentt ocheckmydaught erandwewer et old
thatshei sdischar ged.Aunt i
et ookhert hings
withNel ethent hebody guar dsescor tedus
outside.Aswear eexi t
ingt hebui l
ding,Isaw
Sibi
y aseniorwit hBongi andamanIdi dn’t
recognise.Lucki l
yaunt yi salr eadyint hecar
andBongi gavemesuchat ti
tudebutI
pretendedl i
keIdon’ tknowt hem atal l
.Onour
wayhomeShakacal ledandaskedwhi ch
hospitalwewer einandIt oldhi mt ocomet o
thehouse.Hear r
ivedsoonaf terusandcoul d
notst opfussingabouthowt heki dshav egr own
andhowNel eischangi ngcompl exionev en
thoughev erythi
ngi sstill
hi sfat her.

Shaka:I
’
m sorryIcoul
dn’
tcomesoonerbut
Sinoi
spregnantandsheishavi
ng
compli
cati
ons.Shewasinhospit
alwhenyou
cal
l
edandonl
ycameouty
est
erday
Me:isi
tsafethentoleav
eheralonewhenshe
i
snotok?Ifsomet hi
nghappenstoherIwoul
d
nev
erforgi
vemy self
Shaka:
RelaxYol
o.Hermotherisst
ayi
ngwit
h
usandI’
mf l
yi
ngbacktoni
ght.Shei
stheone
whoaskedmet ovi
sity
ou
Me:
muchbet
tert
henandcongr
atul
ati
onsbr
o
Iquicklymadesomet hi ngli
ghttoeatwhi l
ehe
spentt i
mewi t
ht heki ds.Heisat rueuncleand
I’
m sohappyf orSi not hatIcalland
congr atul
ateher.Ipr omi setokeepheri nmy
prayersandIknowshewi l
lcarrythatchildto
term.Theyhav ebeent ryi
ngf orasecondbaby
foral ongtimecozt heyhadt heirsonbef or
e
theygotmar ri
ed.Iwi sht hi
sonecanbeagi r
l.
Thet hingsthatgot hroughmymi ndattimes
though.Hi sfli
ghti sat5sohel eav esat4andI
thankhi mf ortakingtimeoutt ov i
situs.Iwon’t
l
ieandsayt hatShakaandSi no’slov edoesn’t
haveanef f
ectonmebecausei tdoes.Al
it
tl
e
aft
er5Igotacal lf
rom Johnandhedoesn’ t
soundgoodatal l
.Het el
lsmet hatmom has
beenhospital
i
sedf ort
woday snowandi ssti
ll
i
nacoma.Shewasbeat enintoapulpbydad
andneighbourshelpedherwhent heysawdad’s
cardr
ivingout.I
tdoesn’trai
nbutpours.
[
05/
02,
18:
54]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose

Chapt
er43

Iwokeupi nahospi t
al bedwi thdriponmyar m
andIwonder edwhathappened.Aunt ywas
sit
ti
ngnextt omybedwi thasadf acewhi l
emy
boyispl ayi
ngwi t
hhist oycar .Whydi dhedo
thi
st omeandmychi ld?Whyar epeopleso
heartl
essast owanttohur tinnocentchildren?
Cantt heyleaveusinpeacet oenjoyourl i
ves
seeingasIl eftt
hem wi ththeirbrother’
s
i
nher i
tance.Nowi nsteadofwor kingfora
brighterfuturehei sdoi ngt his.Iaskedaunt y
howmydaught erandt hebody guar dareand
shet oldmet hatmydaught ermi ghtbe
dischargedi nt woday scozsheonl yhasf lesh
woundsandt hebody guar dwasshor tont he
stomachbutnov ital organswer eaffected.I
needt oseemydaught ersoIpr essedt he
but t
ont hatcallst henur seandsheappear ed
soon.Shecal ledt hedoct orandhecameand
checkedmet hent oldmeI ’
m goodt ogo.Iwent
toseeThandoandshet oldmet hatherbodyi s
i
npai nandIunder stand.Thosemenar ehuge
andshehassuchat inybody .Ical l
edVi ct
orand
toldhim whathappenedandhet oldmehewi l
l
tryandf indanear lierflight.Asf orMongezi I
reall
yhav enowor dsf orhi m.Hehasr eall
ygone
toof arnowandIhav enomer cyf orhim.Iwant
him behi ndbar sbutnowt hismeansIhav et o
mov ecozmyhi deouthasbeenexposedandI
can’taffor dtoputmychi ldrenindanger .What
kindofl ifeisthisandwi llIeverheart heendof
i
t?Coul di
tbethatheisafr
aidthatIwil
ltake
hi
mt ocaughtf
orSanele’
sbusinesses?I’
m
graspingonstr
awshereandaunt ytookmy
handandwewentout sidewithLusanele.

Aunty: Ithinky ouneedt orel ocat ebeforet hey

getthei rhandsony ourchildr en.Mybr otherisa
ri
tual
istandwhenhewentt ogethi sricheshe
wast oldt osacr if
icehi sfir
stsonandmakesur e
hedoesn’ thaveachi lduntil hei s35sot hathe
canbeext r
emel yrich.Ifheget sachi l
dbef ore
theageof35hemustki l
l t
hatchi ldinor derto
keephi spl acei ntheunder wor ld.Nochi l
dof
Saneleshal ll
i
v eforhi mt or emai nt heki ngand
Sanelemustnotf al li
nlov ebecausei fthat
happenst hent hef atherloseshi sposi ti
onand
wealth.Heki l
ledhi m becausehef ell
inl oveand
nowt hatheknowsaboutt hechi ldrenhewi l
ldo
everythingt okillt
hem.
Me:
howdoy
ouknowal
lthi
s,aunt
y?
Aunty:Becausemybr othertri
edtorecrui
t
Thembaandmyhusband.Whent heyrefused
hekil
ledmyhusbandandThemba’ sfir
stborn
son.Hef eel
sli
kehei sentit
ledtoSanele’
s
wealthandallhi
schildrenarehispuppets
exceptSthe.I
’m beggingyoumychi l
d.Getout
ofCapeTown.Youhav eenoughmoneyt ostart
yourli
fesomewher e.

Myl i
feisreall
yhar dandIdon’ tknowwhatt odo
now.Thandowi llbewr i
ti
ngherexamssoon
andIwi l
lhavet ofindaccommodat ionand
schoolsforthem wher everwegoi ngt o.Ical l
ed
Johnandt ol
dhim whatj usthappenedt hen
spoket oSinomt haaswel l.It
’st ruet hatIhav e
enoughmoneybutIhav emadeal i
feher eandI
haterunningawayl i
keaf ugit
iv e.Idon’ tknow
howt ofighttheunder worldandwi llmyr unning
awayhel pinanyway ?Don’ tt
hesepeopl ehav e
eyesandear sev erywhere?Tr ut hist hatIf eel
defeatedbutt hereali
sati
ont hatt heycan’ tuse
magi ct oki l
l mychi l
drengi vesmehopet hatI
canout runt hem.Si ncet heyusedmagi ct o
makeJameski l
lSanele, theycan’ tdot hesame
withhi schi ldren.Twopol icemenar estanding
out sideMusa’ sr oom andat6: 00t womor e
body guar dsar r i
ved.Onest ayedwi thusandt he
otherwentt ocheckt hei rcol l
eague.Justt hen
Sthecameandhuggedmewhi l
eaunt yisbusy
talkingont hephone.Sheaskeduswhat
happenedandwet oldher .Shewentt ocheck
onhert hencamebackandsai dwecanl eave
her ,shewi lllookaf terhert hrought henight.All
Iknowi st hatIcan’ tleav emydaught erher eall
night .Ibr east fedmysont henaskedaunt yto
takehi m home.I t’
st i
met oweanhi m nowcoz
hewi llsoonbegoi ngtoschool .Auntyleftwi t
h
onebody guar dwhi leIr emai nedwi ththeot her.
Hecamebackwi that hr owandgav eme.St he
organi sedmesomet hingt oeatandIst ay edin
mydaught er ’
swar d.Idon’ tknowwhatt he
futurehol dsbutInev ersawi tli
kethis.The
foll
owingdayaf terbathi
ngherandmaki ngsure
thatshehaseat en,Iwenthome.The
body guardshavechangedshi f
tsandoneof
them foll
owedmet owor ktomakesur eIam
safe.Iwenttot hemanagerandexpl ai
nedwhat
happenedt henhet ol
dmet osi gnleavef or
theset hr
eedays.Iwentst r
aighttomyr oom
andt ookashower .Ibreast
fedmysonandwent
strai
ghttobedaf terauntyt
oldmet hatsheis
goingt ohospit
al.
Idreamtt
hatI’
m atmyhousepl ayi
ngwi t
hthe
kidswhenther
eisaknockatt hedoor.Iwentt
o
openandhewasn’tsmil
inginsteadhetoldme
thathei
sheretoprot
ecthischildr
en.

Me:
don’
tyouwantt
ocomei
n?
Sanel
e:Ineedtoseethem f
rom adistance.
Justkeepyoureyesopenbabe.Il
ovey ouandI
wil
lalwaysprot
ectyouandmychildren
Me:
Thanksbabe
Sanel
e:no!Thanky
ouf
orgi
vi
ngmychi
l
drena
l
ovinghome

BeforeIcoul dsaysomet hingel se,Iwokeup

andgotr eadyt ogot ohospi tal.Iwentdown
andgotf ourt akeaway sthencal l
edacabt o
takemet ohospi tal
.Igav et wot ot he
body guardsandt wot oaunt yandThando.She
l
ooksmuchbet tertodayandNel eispl ay
ing
withheront hebed.Il eftthem eat i
ngandwent
tocheckt hebody guard.Heal sol ooksmuch
betterthanhewast hismor ning.Thisi satough
j
obandIcan’ tthankhim enoughf orsav i
ngmy
daught er
.Af ewmi nutesl ater,Victorcall
edto
sayhei satt her ecepti
onandIwentt omeet
him.Hehascancel ledhist riptobewi thmeand
Ifeelhonour ed.Hehuggedmeandwesat
down.It oldhi m whathappenedandwhenIt ol
d
himt hatit’
sSanel e’sfatherwhodi dthis,he
becamemor econf used.It oldhi mt hatIwill
explaineverythingt ohiml atert hent ookhimt o
seehisbody guard.Igavethem pr i
v acyt henhe
camet oseeThando.Shest il
lremember shi m
from therestaurantandt heytalkedabout
sweetnot hingswhi leIt
alkedt oaunt ie.Isaw
him showi nghersomet hingonhi sphonet hen
shesmi l
edandsai dsomet hingt ohi m andhe
smiledback.Hehasabeaut i
fulsmi leev enifI
saysomy self.Het oldmehehast ogohomet o
takeashowerandchanget henIr emember ed
thedream andt ol
daunt i
e.

Aunty
:Ithinkhewantsustogobacktohi
s
housewher ehecanprot
ecthi
ski
ds.Tomorr
ow
wewillcheckoutandgobackhome.

Iagreedwit
hhert henwhenl i
tt
lemanyawned
fortheumpteenthtime,Iknewitwaswaypast
hisnapti
mesoaunt iet
ookhim backt
othe
hotelwhi
leIstayedbehindwithmydaught
er.
Heaskedhowt hebodyguardisdoi
ngandItol
d
hert
hathei
sdoi
ngmuchbet
ter
.
Thandol
wet
hu:t
heyar
esobi
gmommyand
whenhefel
lont
opofmeIcoul
dn’
tev
enmov
e
ahand

Icoul dn’tstoplaughi ngcozIcoul djustimagi ne

whatshei st al
ki ngabout .Ileftaf ter8whenshe
fellasleepandwentt ot hehot elaccompani ed
byt hebody guar dofcause.Iwasj ustaboutt o
ent erthelif
twhenVi ct orcalledt oaskwher eI
wasandIt oldhi m.Iwentt oaunt ie’
sr oom and
saidgoodni ghtt omyboyev ent houghhewas
alreadyout .Itol dauntiethatIwi l
ltellVictor
ever yt
hingt onightandshewi shedmegood
l
uck.Iwentbackt omyr oom andIwasner vous
ashel l.Hear ri
v ed30mi nutesl at erandcamet o
sitwi t
hmeont hecouch.Icoul dn’tev enlookat
him asIwasshaki nglikeal eaf .Istartedf rom
thebegi nningunt i
lIgott owhataunt i
etol dme
i
nhospi talexcludingt heunder wor l
dpar t.Ijust
l
ethim knowthatSanele’
sfatherki
ll
edhim and
i
stryi
ngt oki
l
l hiski
dsfori
nherit
ance.Hekept
qui
etasifhedi dn’
thearathi
ngIsaidthentook
hi
skeysandl eft.
[
05/
02,
18:
54]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose

Chapt
er45

Somet i
mesIwi shIhadasi stert osharesome
ofmybur denswi th.Ihonest l
ydonotknow
whattot hinkofmymot her’ssituati
on.Wet r
ied
tohelpbutshet hrewi tbackonourf aceby
goingbackt othatman.Idon’ tknowwhet her
shewant shimt oputheri nawheel chairbefore
sheopensherey esormay beshewant shi mt o
kil
lher.Il
ov eherandt hatcannotbedi sputed
butmyhandsar et i
edr i
ghtnow.Iwoul dnev er
gohomeandr i
skbumpi ngintodad.Who
knowswhathewoul ddot omeaf t
erIputhi s
favour
itesoni njail,accordi
ngt ohi swor ds.I
wentt ot hekitchenandst arteddi nner.Victor
call
edandaskedhowThandoi sdoi ng.He
askedi fit’
sokf orhimt otakemeoutt olunch
onSat urdayandIagr eed.Theki dsar espendi ng
thedaywi thStheandaunt i
ewi l
l behav i
nga
bakingsal eatchur ch.Iwi l
lbakef orheron
Fri
dayt henshecant akeev ery thingt here.Iwas
goingt odr i
vehert herebutsi nceIwon’ tbe
around, Iwillj
ustl eav ethecarkey swi t
hher .
Thef ollowi ngdayIwokeupear lyandwentt o
wor kbutIt ol
dThandoshewi llgot oschool
tomor row.Wear ebusyatwor kandThomasi s
happyt oheart hatThandoi soutofhospi t
al.I
thankedhi mf ort hef ruitbasketandf l
ower she
senther .Wegotbusywi t
hwor kandt hehot el
hasf or eignvisitorswhohav ecomef ora
functionorsomet hingsoi t’
shect ic.Theyhav e
diff
erentspeci al r
equest sandby2o’ clockIwas
toot i
redt oevenscr atchmy self .Iwentt omy
offi
cej ustt ost retchmyl egsabi tbef oreI
prepar et hemenuf ort omor r
ow.If oundagi ft
bagwi
thanot
e.Icheckedt
henot
eandi
tsai
d.
ALI
TTLESOMETHI
NGTOSAYI
’
M THI
NKI
NG
OFYOU.Vi
c
Iopenedthegif
tbagandf oundtoast
ed
sandwichandjuice.Icouldn’
tst
oplaughingand
Ical
ledhim.Thismanj ustknowshowt omake
myday .Heanswer edjustaft
erafewrings.

Vi
ctor
:Heybaby
,Ihopey
ougoty
ourexpensi
ve
pr
esent
Me:
Idi
dbabeandIl
ovei
t.
Victor
:youareeasyt
opl
easebabe.I
’
m gl
ad
thatyoulov
eit
Wet al
kedforawhi l
ethenIenjoyedmypr esent
.
Iwil
lneverunderst
andthismanandr i
ghtnowI
don’
tevenknowwhatt ypeofpersonhei s.The
fol
l
owingdayatwor kIcalledJohnt ofi
ndout
howmom i sdoingandhet oldmet hatthereis
nochange.AfterworkIwaswal kingtomycar
att hepar ki
ngl otwhenIsawVi ctorleaning
agai nsthiscaral lyummyandhandsomei n
j
eans, sneakersandst rai
ghtcap.Hi si ssinfull
y
attract i
veandIj ustwanttohughi m andsmel l
hisper f
ume.Hesmi l
edatmeandInear ly
mi ssedast ep.Thismanwi ll
bemydownf allI’
m
tell
ingy ounowandI ’
mr eadyt olosemymor als
j
ustf orhiml ol
.Heopenedhi sar msandIwent
i
nwi ll
inglyandhehuggedme.Wet alkedfora
bitandhet oldmet hathehast of lyt oDurban
forhi sdaught er’
sschool playlatert odayandhe
willbebackt omor row.Wowt hisissosweet
andIadmi r
eamanwhocandot hisf orhis
children.Wesai dourgoodby eandhel eaned
closerandpausedj ustbeforehegott omyl ips
andchuckl ed.Het hengav emeapeckont he
cheekt henanot herhugandopenedmycar
doorf orme.

Him:Iwi
llcal
lyoubef
oreIsl
eepbabe.Take
careofy
oursel
fforme
Me:
Thanksbabe.Tr
avel
saf
ely
,Iwi
l
lmi
ssy
ou

Idon’tknowwhyIsai dt hatbuti twasout

beforeIcouldev ent hinkandt here’ snot akingit
backnow.Hesmi ledandki ssedmeont hel i
ps
thi
stime.Itwassounexpect edt hatIdi dn’t
respondatfirstandwhenIdi dhepul l
edaway
andclosedmydoort henwentt ohi scar .I
wantedmor eoft hatki ssbuthewasgone.
ThankGodIwassi t
tingdownasIdon’ tknowi f
mykneeswoul dbest r
ongenought ocar ryme.I
sawhi sbakkiedr i
v eof fandsatt her ejust
enjoyi
ngtheki sslongaf terithasended.You
wouldsweari twast hef irsttimeIwaski ssed
butthere’
ssomet hingaboutt hismant hat
makesmel osef ocus.If i
nal l
ydr ov eof fand
whenIgothome, aunt i
esmi l
edatmeasI
walkedintotheki tchen.It riedt oi gnor eherand
shetoldmet hatI ’
m gl owi ng.Wel l Idon’tknow
whatt osayaboutt hatsoIwentt omyr oom
andtookashower .Ithencamebackand
playedwi thmyki ds.Af terdinnerIhel ped
Thandot ost udycozshewi llbewr i
tingher
examssoon.I t
’stimef orust opr aynowasl it
tl
e
mani sdr owsy .Whenev erwepr ayhej ust
screamsAmenorFi reandi tmakesmel ose
focusbutt odayIpr ayedhar derformyl ife, my
chil
dr en’ssaf etyandmymom t ocomet oher
senses.Ipr ayedt ot heLor dt opr otectusf rom
theseev i
l peopl eandt okeepmyf ri
endsand
l
ov edonessaf e.Byt het i
mewewer edone
Lusanel ewasf astasl eepnextt ome.It ookhi m
tohisbabycoti nmyr oom andsoonThando
camewi t
hmyphoneandgav eitt ome.I twasa
selfi
ev ideof rom Vi ctorandi tshowedhi m and
hisdaught er s.Theyar ei nar estaurantandt he
girl
sar eki ssi nghi m ont hecheeksandhei s
maki ngf unnyf aces.Wowt hisisbeaut iful heis
reall
yenj oy ingt imeoutwi thhisdaught er s.I
call
edhi m andhet oldmet hathei sdr i
v ing
them backt ot heirmot her’
shouset henbackt o
thehot el forhi m.Ichangedi ntomypy jamas
andwentt obed.Ihadt hest r
angestdr eam ev er
andIcan’ texpl ainitmy selfandIdon’ tknow
whati tmeans.Iwokeupabi tlateandIhadt o
helpThandogetr eadyt henIgotr eadymy self.I
droppedherof fatschool thenr ushedt owor k.
Wehav eabusymor ningandwhenwewer e
doneat10It ookaf ewmi nutesbr eakf or
breakfastandcheckedmyphone.Inev er
checkedi tthismor ningcozIwokeupl at
eandI
sawmi ssedcal l
sfrom uncl eThembaandat ext
from Victorwi shingmeagoodday .Irepli
edt o
thetextt hencal l
eduncl eThemba.Het oldme
hewi l
l comebackt omecozt heyar ehav i
nga
familymeet ing.Iwentbackt owor kand
preparedl unchwi t
hThomas.Todayhei sin
suchagoodmoody ouwoul dswearhegoti tall
thismor ning.Whenwear edonecooki ng,Ihad
myl uncht hencheckedi fwehav eenoughst ock
forthef ollowi ngday s.Iwasaboutt oknockof f
whenmyphoner angandIt ooki t
.Itwasuncl e
Thembaandhesoundedst r
angeasi f
somet
hingwaseat
inghi
m up.

Themba: Idon’twantt oscarey oumychi l

dbut
somet hi
ngr eallystrangehappenedl astni ght.
Wewer ehav i
ngaf amilymeetingaboutf uner al
arrangement swhensomeonewhol ookedl ike
Saneleinev erythingcamei nandshotMusa
andhi sfather.AsI ’
mt alki
ngtoy ounow, Musa
i
si nthemor t
uar ywhilemybr otherisfighting
forhisli
feinhospi t
al.I
’m st
il
lshockedandI
don’tknowhowt oexpl ai
nthi
s.I fIhaven’tseen
i
twi thmyowney esIwouldnev erbeli
ev eit
whensomeonet oldme
Me:butwebur
iedSanel
eandt
her
ewasno
doubtt
hati
twashim
Themba:Iknowmychi ldandr i
ghtnowIdon’t
knowhowt omakeofi t.Hisvoi
cewasabi t
dif
fer
entbuti
tdefini
tel
ywashi m.Het ol
dhis
fat
hertoconfessevery
thinghehasev erdone
befor
ehefini
sheshim offthenheleft
.
Ithoughtofmydr eam andstartedshaking.
Couldi tbethat
…..?Butnoi t
’snotpossibleand
besides,itwasjustadr eam,itdoesn’
tmean
anything.Ipour
edmy selfaglassofwaterand
dranki ti
nonego.
Thi
sli
fe!
!!
!!
[
05/
02,
18:
54]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose

Chapt
er46
Idon’tknowhowl ongIsatthere,lostinmy
thoughtsaboutthingsthatdon’tev enmake
sense.Itwasn’tuntil
aunti
ecal l
edt of i
ndoutif
I’
m delayedatwor kasshei swor ri
edabout
Thandoatschool .Iquickl
ysnappedoutof
whateverstateIwasi nanddr ovet oherschool.
Shewassi t
ti
ngwi thafewkidsj ustinsidethe
gateandcamet omewhenIst opped.I
apologisedforbeinglatet
henwedr ovehome.I
askedifauntyhasspokent ouncl eThembaand
shesaidhecal l
edherandt oldherev eryt
hing.
Shewi l
lhav etol eav eimmedi atel ytobewi th
herf ami lyandIcheckedonl inef orf l
ights.She
i
sal r eadypackedsowedr ov ehert ot heai r
por t
.
Igotbackandt ookamuchneededshowert hen
dishedupf ormyki dscozIdi dn’thav eappet i
te.
Wepr ayedt henIt ookbot hoft hem t obedasI
needt obeal onewi thmyt hought s.Whent hey
wer easl eepIswi t
chedof fmyphoneandi pad
andwenti ntoThando’ sbedr oom whi chshehas
nev erusedandj ustpr ayedf orcl arity.Ibegged
theLor dt ogi vemeanswer st ot hi smy stery
thati sthr eat eningourl iv
es.Imanagedt osl eep
after11.Thef ollowi ngdayIgott heki dsr eady
anddr oppedThandoatschool thendr ovet o
wor k.Iaskedt her ecept i
oni sttocal loneoft he
l
adi esweuseaschi l
dmi nder st ohel pmewi t
h
Nele.I nt hemeant i
meIbookedar oom f orus
fort onightt henaskedoneoft hecl eaning
l
adi est ol ookaf terhi m whi lewear ewai ti
ngf or
thenanny .Ist artedwi thbr eakf astt henshe
arri
v edshor tl
yandIt ookhert omyal located
room event houghitwasn’tr
eadyyet.Igotbusy
withthewor kathandandwhi l
eIwasbusywi th
l
uncht her ecepti
oncall
edtosayIhav eavisi
tor
.
IaskedThomast ohavealookatmypot sthenI
wentt other ecept
ionandfoundVict
orsitt
ing
thereont hecouch.Hest oodupandhugged
met henIt ookhimt omyof f
ice.

Vict
or:I
’m sorrytobargeintoyourworkl
iket
his
butIwantedt oseey ou.I
’vebeentr
yingt
ocall
yousincelastnightbutyourphoneisoff
.
Me:If
orgott
otur
niton.Iwasn’
tfeel
i
ngwel
l
l
astni
ghtsoIswi
tchedi
toff.
Vi
ctor:I
t’
sokbabeIj
ustwantedt
otel
lyout
hat
I
’m back.Howar
eyoufeel
ingnow?
Me:I
’m bet
ternowthanks.I
’
m sur
ethegi
rl
s
wer
ehappyt oseey
ou
Vict
or:
ohyestheywereandIwishwecoul
d
spendmor
etimet oget
her
.Arewesti
l
lonfor
t
omor
row?
Me:I’
m sorr
yaboutt
hatbabe.Iwi
lll
ety
ou
knowtomorrowmorningcozaunt
yhadtogot
o
afuner
alinKZN.
HeaskedwhohaspassedonandIt oldhim.I
didn’ttel
l hi
m abouttheSanel epartcozit
freaksmeout .Thefuner al
forbothoft hem has
beensetf ornextSaturdaywhichmeanswewi l
l
bewi thoutauntiethewhol eweek.Heasked
whatIdi dwi thLusaneleandIt ol
dhi m.He
suggest edthatItakehi mtoday careandaski f
theycan’ tkeephimf oraweekcozIcan’ tkeep
booki ngintoahotelwhenaunt yisnotaround.
Whathesai djustmadesenseandIpr omised
tospeakt othedaycarecent r
ebef oret
heendof
theday .

Vi
ctor
:babear
ewest
il
lok?Yousoundcol
dand
of
fi
sh
Me:
WegoodbabebutIt
hinkI
’
mjust
ov
erwhel
medbyev
ery
thi
ngt
hati
sgoi
ngon
Vict
or:Youwill
befi
neIpr
omi
sey
ouYol
o.I
’
m
hereifyouneedtot
alk

Ihuggedhi mt henheki ssedmeont he

forehead, ruffl
edmyhai randhel eft.May beit’s
mebutIst il
lcantgetov ert hefactthathel eft
met hatdayi nmyhot el room andMongezi
‘
died’ i
nhospi talthenhewentt oDur banand
conv enientlyMusaandhi sf at
hergetshotby
‘
Sanel e’.Henev ercal l
smeYol obutt odayhe
didandheki ssedmeont hef orheadandr uffl
ed
myhai rbefor ehel eftjustl ikeSanel edi d.Idon’t
knowwhatt ot hinkbutal lIknowi st hatVictor
grewupi nJohannesbur g, studi
edt her eand
spentmostofhi slif
ebef or ecomi ngt oCape
Townsoi fhedi di tthenhowdoIexpl ainthe
Sanel epar tandhowdi dheknowwher etof i
nd
them?Thi sdr eam i smessi ngmeupandIdon’ t
knowwhati sr ealorf i
ct i
onany mor e.Hei sri
ght
aboutmebei ngcoldcozI ’
m suddenl yaski ng
quest i
onsaboutwhohei sandwhathei sal l
about .Idon’ tknowwher eorhowIwi llgett he
answer sbutIcan’ tlivel i
ket his.Icall
edt heday
careandaskedf oraspeci al f
av ourandt hey
agreedt ot akemyboynextweek.Igotbackt o
wor kandThomaswant edt oknowwhoi twas.
Thisonei ssuchanosyper sonshameIgi ve
himt hat.Af terwor kIf etchedThandof rom
school andt ookhert othehot el.Theywant ed
togot otheswi mmi ngpool sowechangedand
wentt oswi m.Lat erwehaddi nnerthen
wat chedat vunt i
ltheygotdr owsy .Wemadea
shor tprayert henIt ookt hem t obed.Ican’ t
sleepsoIsati nthel ivi
ngar eaj ustwat ching
picturesint het vasIdi dn’tfeel l
ikenoise.I
call
edJohnandhesai dhehasr eport
eddadt o
Mzambapol icestationsi ncei nt owntheywi l
l
nev ertaket hecase.Iaskedhowmom i sdoi ng
andhesai dt heswel l
ingi sgoi ngdownbutshe
stil
llookswor seforwear .Ihopeshecanwake
upf rom thissel finfli
cteddr eam ofher sand
smel ltheroses.Thef ollowi ngdaySt hecal l
ed
tosayshewi llfetcht heki dsar ound10sowe
checkedoutandIwenthomeandpackedt heir
bag.Theywi llspendt heni ghtwi t
ht heiraunt .
Shecameandt ookt hem andmysonwasso
happyt obel eav i
ngwi thherIdon’ tknowi fi t’
s
thecarort hepr omi seofi cecr eam thatgi ves
himt heexci tement .Icleanedmyhouseanddi d
abi toflaundr y.At12Vi ctorcal l
edandaskedi f
hecant akeal lofusoutandIt oldhimt hatt he
kidshav egonewi tht heirauntsohecanf et ch
me.Igotr eadyandchangedi ntoshor t
sand
whitet opandl etmybr ai dsjusthangl oose.I
wor esandal sandwai tedf orhi m.Hear ri
ved
andIt ookmyhandbag, putmysungl asseson
andwentt oj oinhi m.Wewentt oMzol i’
spl ace
andboughtmeat .Heopt edf orbeerwhi l
eI
choseor angej uice.Iwoul dhav epennedhi m
foraf ancyr estaur antt ypeofper sonbutl ikeI
said,hekeepssur pr i
singmeeacht i
meand
todayisnoexcept ion.Heget sonwel lwith
otherpat ronsandi sjustanal lroundper son.
Around4hesai dhewasget tingt i
psyand
askedt hatwegohomesot hathecant akea
nap.Idr ov eusbackandhedi rectedmet ohi
s
place.Hegav emet hesecuritycodewhenwe
gottohi shouseandIdr ovein.Icaughtmy
breadthatt hesit
eoft hehouset henIstopped
attheendoft hedriveway.Wegoti nsi
det he
houseandIsuddenl yfeltdi
rtyl i
keIdon’tbelong
orsomet hing.Hedi dn’
tseem t onot i
cemy
discomf ortandaswewer eappr oachi
ngt he
steps,hishousekeeperappear edandgr eeted
us.

Vict
or:
Lizzyt
hisi
smygi r
lf
ri
endBanoy
olo.Babe,
thi
sismyhousekeepersi
sLizzy
Me:
hel
l
oaunt
y.Ni
cemeet
ingy
ou
Lizzy
:sameher
emychi
l
d.Shoul
dImakedi
nner
foryoumyson?
Vict
or:
wewill
begoi
ngoutl
atersi
sibutf
ornow
Ineedtot
akeanap

Wel eftherandcl i
mbedt hefl
ightofst air
st ohis
room whi chImustsayi salmosthal fmyent i
re
house.Jesut hisi sheav enI’mtell
ingy ou.He
tookof fhissneaker sandt opandhel pedme
takeof fmyshoesandt opt henwecl i
mbedi nt
o
hisbedandhewasof fbeforeIcouldspel l
SLEEP.Whoi st hisguyI ’
m datingandar emy
fearsjustif
ied?AssoonasIf eelasleept he
dream camebackandt histimei t
’sclear.I’
m at
thebeachwi thVi ctorplay i
nginthesandwhenI
suddenl yspotSanel ecomi ngoutoft hewat er.
Asi finat r
ance, Victorstandsupand
appr oacheshi m andt heunthinkablehappens,
Sanel eorwhatIt houghtwasSanel eget s
mer gedwi thVi ctor’sbodyandhet urnsand
walksbackt ome.Iwakeupwi thast artand
wonderwhatt hismeans.Whathav eIgot t
en
my selfint
oandi sthispossibleorjustadr eam.
Ichecktheti
meandI’v
eonlybeenasl
eepfor10
minutes.Mnt
ungwaont heot
hersi
deis
sl
eepingpeacef
ull
y.Whatki
ndofli
fei
sthi
s?
[
05/
02,
18:
54]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose

Chapt
er47

Icouldn’tsleepaf terthatsoIwentt othe

bathroom t opeet hencamebackandj ustsati
n
frontofthebi gdr essi
ngt able.Ther eisan
electr
onicphot oal bum soIswi t
chi tonandi t’
s
most lypicturesofhi m andhi schildren.They
aresobeaut iful andIcanseet hatt heytake
aftertheirfather .There’salsoonewher eheis
standingwi thanol derwomanandanot her
wher ehei skissi ngheri nhercheek.Thi scould
behi smot her .Igott i
redandt ookmyphone
andsentSi nesi phoawhat sappt ext.She
respondedal mosti mmedi atelyaskinghowIam
andIt oldhert hatIjusthadal unchdat ewi t
h
Victor .Wetalkedf orawhi leunt i
lIhear d
someoneki sst hebackofmyneck.Hei sawake
buthi sey esareal it
tler ed.Hewentt ot he
bathr oom tobr ushhi st eethandwashhi sface.
Hecamebackandt ookmyhandl eadingmet o
thel oungear ea.Iwant edtogr abmyt opandhe
toldmenott obot hercozLi zzyhasl eftf orthe
day .Hesatont hecouchandmademesi ton
hislapl ikeI’
mr idi
ngahor seandst artedki ssing
mesl owatf ir
stjustpl ay i
ngwi thmyl i
ps
teasinglywhi l
ehi shandswondercur i
ousl yon
myback.Icoul dfeel heatr i
singandbef oreI
knewi thishandscuppedandst rokedmy
breast s.Honest l
yIdon’ tknowwhenhet ookof f
mybr acozi t’
snowl yinghel plesslyont hef l
oor.
Icoul dfeelli
ttl
eVpoki ngmeandhebr oket he
kissandputmeont hecouchnextt ohim.He
stoodupandwentt ot heki tchenandcame
backwi thabeerf orhi msel fandj uicef orme.

Vi
ctor
:Whatt
imear
ewef
etchi
ngt
heki
ds?
Me:
theyar
espendi
ngt
heni
ghtV
Vi
ctor
:Ohokt hen.Ithoughtwewouldallgot
o
di
nnersosinceit
’sjustthetwoofus,wouldy
ou
mindhavi
ngdinnerwi t
hmemi ssNyat
hi?
Me:
notatal
lsi
r?Whatt
imewoul
dyoul
i
keme
t
omeready?
Vi
ctor
:ourr
eser
vat
ioni
sfor7o’
cl
ock
Me:
letmegohomet
ochanget
hen
Hesuggest edt hatwebot htakeashowert hen
hechangesbef orewegot omyplace.Icall
ed
myki dsfir
standt heyar ehavi
ngagoodt ime
wit
ht heiraunt.Wet ookashowert henheput
onblacksui tandbl ackshir
twithnoti
eand
worehi stom fordper f
umet hatsmell
sso
devi
ne.Wet hendr ovetomyhouseandIchose
acream f l
oorlengthgownwi t
hlowbackline,
bl
ackheel sandbl ackclutchthenaccessorised
wit
hbl ackbeadsonmywr i
standpearlearr
ings.
Iwalkedbackt otheloungeandhewhi stl
edi n
appreciati
on.Hehuggedandki ssedmeont he
cheekthenwelefthandi nhand.Wegott othe
rest
aurantandheexplainedt hatitwi l
lonlybe
thetwoofusast hekidsar enotj oini
ngus
toni
ghtthenwewer egivenat able.Heor dered
aglassofredoneandIor deredlimewat er.
Whenourf oodarri
vedheputt henapki nonmy
l
apandwest ar
tedeating.Okt hisguyi sjusttoo
romanticandIl
ikeeverythinghedoes.He
wouldfeedmesmal l
bitesf r
om hi sfoodsand
whenheseesf oodcrumbsonmymout hhe
wipesthem.Thisguyjustdoesev ery
thingri
ght
andIthankmyl uckystarsforhi m.
Wel eftt
her estaur
antar
ound10andIasked
hi
mt odropmehome.Ij usthav ethisurgeto
prayhardtodayandIdon’ tknowwhy .Hedidn’
t
haveapr oblem anddrovestrai
ghttomyhouse.
Hewal kedmet omydoort henkissedme
goodnight.Hemadesur eIwassaf elyi
nside
andlightsonbef or
ehedr oveoff.Itookthe
dressoffandwashedmyf acethenchanged
i
ntoani ghtdressandputonmygown.Iknel t
downonmybedr oom andpr ayed.Ipr ayedf or
mymot hert omakei tandf ormychi l
drent o
hav eanor mal upbr inging.Ipr ayedf orSi no’
s
pregnancyandmyr elationshi p.Somet imeswe
forgett opr ayf orthepeopl einourl i
vesandend
upl osingt hem ov erst upidt hings.AsI ’m
pray i
ngIseeSanel e’sf athershoot ingVi ctor
andIdon’ tst oppr ay i
ngunt iltheur geleav esme
andIf eel relieved.Ij ustwentt othesi t
t i
ng
room andpl ayedBebeWi nansandDonny
Mcl urking.Ical ledSt het of indouti ftheyar eok
andshet oldmet hatt heyar est i
llplayingasi ti
s
andshewi llbringt hem l atet omor row.YhoI
missmyki dsnow.
Iswit
chedmyphoneonandIgotal otof
messagesandwhenIwast ryi
ngtoreadthem
myphoner angandIpickeditup.I
twasVi ct
or
andhet oldmet hatheisinhospit
alcozhiscar
wasshor tatshortl
yaft
erleavi
ngmypl aceand
helostcontrolandthecarswervedofftheroad
andhitat r
ee.Istart
edpanicki
ngandasked
whichhospit
alheisinandhetol
dmet hatI
shoul
dn’tl
eavethehousenowcozi t’
s
dangerousandinthemorninghewillsenda
bodyguardtofetchme.Doesthismant hinkI
wil
lsleepher
eafterhetol
dmet his?
Noway
s!!
!!
Itol
dhi mI’m comingandheaskedmet owait
forhisguys.Theycameaf t
er30mi nutesorso
andgotmet hendr ov
emet ohospi tal
.Hehasa
bandageonhi shead,shoulderandst omach
andev enthoughhel ooksl i
kehei sinpainhe
sti
llmanagest osmi l
e.Het ellsmet hatabullet
wentt hr
oughhi sshoulderandt hecutonhi s
headisf r
om theimpactofhi tti
ngt hetree.He
wascutbygl assesonhi sstomach.Thi sman
madei tsoundl i
keami noraccidentbutIcoul d
seethatit’
sser i
ous.Coul ditbet hattheywant
toremov eany onewhocanpr otectmesot hat
theycangett omychi ldren?Whati sgoingon
hereandwhyi smymanat arget ?
Thi
sli
feIchoset
hough
[
05/
02,
18:
54]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose

Chapt
er48
Isatwi thhim unt i
lthemedsst artedwor king
andhef el
lasleep.Thebody guardst hent ook
mehomeandIpr ayedagai nbef or efal
li
ng
asleep.Lifereall
yi sadi fferentki ndoff airyt
ale.
Itdoesn’tmat terhowgoody outryt oli
vey our
l
ifebutsomet imesy ouj ustdon’ tgetabr eak
andi t
’snott haty ouarepuni shedf orsomet hing
ortheot herbuti t’
sjusthowl ifeis.Imusthav e
chosent hebadl uckcar dwhenIchosemyl if
e
cozIj ustcan’tgetabr eakl ikeot herchildren.
I’
m planningmydaught er’
s8t hbirthdayf or
cryingoutloudandnowt hi
shappens.What
hav eIdonet hat’ssowr ongt hatt hesepeopl e
can’tgetenoughofpuni shingme?May beI
shouldgot oDur banandof fici
all
ygi vethisold
fuckaut hori
tytosel lSanel e’shouseand
busi nessesbecauseIcannev erlethi m killmy
childrenot her wi seifpushcomest oashov eI
wi l
lmakehi m swal l
owabul let.Ther e’snoway
i
nhel lIwi lllethi m killmyman’ sl egacyby
kill
i
nghi schi ldren, overmydeadbodywi llthat
happen.I ’
m pr eparedt ogot oj ailfort hesaf ety
ofmychi l
dr enandIknowaunt ywi lltakecar eof
them i nt hemeant i
me.I ’
vehadenoughoft his
manandt imef orbeingnicei sl onggonenow.
Nowt hatt hedeci sionismadeIneedt obuy
my sel fagunandj ustgetthisov erwi th.Iwi l
l
wai tforaunt yt ocomebackt hengot oDur ban.
Thef ollowi ngdayIwentt ot heshoot i
ngr ange
tolear nhowt oshoot .Aft
erthatIwentt o
hospi tal andf oundhi m sl
eepingandsati nt he
visi
tor ’schai rjusthol di
nghishand.Iwast oo
angr yt osayany thi
ngandj ustsatt here
massagi nghi shandsf arawayi nt hought s.
Whati si tthatIhav edonet ot hesepeopl ethat
theycan’ tletmel ivepeacefully?ImeanIl et
them hav et hebusi nessesandhousey etthey
sti
llf
oll
owmear ound.Iftheywantbloodthen
that’
sexactl
ywhatI ’
m preparedtogivethem.
I’
m amot herbeforeanythingandmymai nt
ask
i
st oprot
ecttheseinnocentsouls.Ican’
tkeep
runni
ngifthei
rwi t
chcrafthasatrackerandthey
canfindmeany where.

Vict
or:t
alkt
omebabe,whatareyout
hinki
ng
aboutcozIcanseey
ouarefarawayi
nthought
Me: I’
mt hi
nki
ngabouttheshoot i
ngbabe.I
don’tknowwhatIev erdidtothesepeoplef
or
them tohatemet hi
smuch.Imeanwhenwi ll
theybesatisf
ied?Theytookhimf rom meandI
forgedaheadandnowt hatIhaveyoutheywant
totakethataswell?
Victor:whoaaahowdoy ouknowit’
sthem who
attackedmel astni
ghtandhowwi ll
yousolve
thi
s?babepl easedon’tdoanythi
ngstupi
dIwill
handlet hi
smy sel
f
Me:
Itdoesn’
ttakeageni
ust
oknowt
hati
t’
s
t
hem andIdon’
twanty
oui
nvol
ved
Vict
or:I
’
m alreadyi
nvol
vedOl
oandwear
ein
thi
stogether
Istay edwi thhi mt hewhol edayunt i
lSthecal led
tosayshei sbr ingingmychi l
drensoIki ssed
him andl ef t.ThatweekIspl itmyday sbet ween
wor k, shoot ingr angeandhospi t
al andgott obe
withmyki dsi ntheaf ternoon.Hewasr eleased
onThur sdayandFr i
dayaf t
erwor kIt ookt he
kidst ohi spl acecozhemi ssedt hem andI
offeredt ocookf orhim andLi zzyleft.Hei sst il
l
abi tweaksohei sinhisbedr oom andt heki ds
wentt osi twi t
hhi m whileIcooked.Johncal led
tot ellmet hatmom i smuchbet terandshe
want stogobackt odadcozshesay sshei st oo
oldt ost ar taf r
esh.Wel lthat’sherf uneral and
ri
ghtnowIhav eal otonmymi ndt owor ry
abouther .Shei sreallystressingmet houghcoz
thatbast ar dwi llkil
lherifshecar ri
esonl iket hi
s.
Ifinishedcooki nganddi shedupf orev eryone.
Hesuggest edt hatweal l eatinhisbedr oom so
Itookt hefoodt here.Heinsistedonf eedi ng
Lusanel eandhei sasweet hearttodayunl ike
whenIdoi tcozhewoul drunar oundt hehouse
whileIr anafterhim butnowhei sawel l
behav edboy .Ievent akeav ideooft hem
togetherthenIwentt odot hedishescozIcan’ t
sleepwhent hekitchenisdirty.WhenIcame
backIf oundhi m asleepwi t
ht hechildren
sleepingoneachsi deofhi m.Istoleapi ct ur
e
them thent ookof fmydr essandj oinedt hem.
Hehasaki ngsi zedbedsowecanal l fi
tini t
.I
wokeupi nthemor ningtofindhim st aringat
mewi thanexpr essionIcoul dnotread.

Vi
ctor
:whyar
ey ougoi
ngtotheshoot
ingr
ange?
whatarey
ouplanni
ngbabe?
Me:Ican’
tli
vei
nfearal
lmyl
i
fesoIwantt
o
el
i
minatethi
sol
dmanonceandforal
l
Vi
ctor:
canyouevenhearyour
sel
f?Youarea
motherandaChr
ist
ian.Whatwil
lhappent
o
yourchi
l
drenwhenyougot
ojai
landdamn
whatwil
lhappent
ous?
Me:Icannotl
ett
hismancont
rol
myl
i
fel
i
ket
his
VIneedtostophi
m
Victor:Sowhatwast hepoi ntofallt
hisify
ou
will
t hrowitawayjustforrevenge?Whyar eso
self
ish?Thesechi l
drenlosttheirfat
herandyou
wantt hem toloseyouaswel l
?Whycan’ tyou
prayf ori
tbecauseIwon’ tletyoudestroyt
hem
j
ustf orast upi
drevenge?Thi sisnotyou.

Hei smakingsensebutI ’mtooangrytoreason

ri
ghtnow.Hegotoutofbedandt ookmyhand
andwewal kedtotheotherbedroom f
orsome
pri
vacy.I
t’
sst il
ldar
kwhi chmeansit’
snot
mor ni
ngyet .Wegottobedandhel ookedatme
withconcerninhiseyesandbeggedmet o
changemymi ndaboutthiscozit’
snotmyf ight
.
Iaskedhowhegott oknowaboutt heshooting
rangeandhet ol
dmet hatthebodyguardtol
d
him.If orgott hatI ’
m bei ngfollowedwher ev erI
gobuti fIletthisgot henwhowi l
ldoi tbecause
thi
sol dmanneedst odi eforust obef ree.He
won’tr estunt ilhehaski ll
edbot hmychi l
dr en
andIcan’ tlethim.Thesechi l
dr enar et oo
precioust omeandIwon’ tletany thinghappen
tothem.I ’
m pr epar edt osacrificemyf reedom
forthem.Icanseet hatVi ctorwon’ tlett hisgo
soIagr eedwi thhi mj ustsoIcansi lencehi m
thenwewentbackt osl eep.Thef ollowi ngday
west ay edi ndoor sandwhi lehehel pedThandi
withherhomewor k,It ooklitt
lemant ot he
swimmi ngpool cozt hat ’
sallhehasbeen
tal
kingabout .Whenhegott i
redwewenti nside
andj ustor deredpi zzaf orlunch.OnSundaywe
allwentt ochur chusi ngoneofhi sbakki escoz
hewi llbeuncomf or tableinmyl it
tlepol o.We
camebackandIcookedt henweal latet henwe
l
efthi m aswehadt of etchaunt y.Wegott ot he
air
por tandaunt ycamebackaf ewmi nut es
l
aterandwedr ov ehome.
Thekidswentt
osl
eepandaunt
yaskedt
o
speaktome.

Aunt
y:Whoi
sVi
ctor
’sf
ather
?
Me:Idon’
tknowaunty.Al
lIknowi
sthathi
s
mot
herisinJohannesbur
gwherehegrewup.
Whydoy ouask?
Aunt
y:canyouinvi
tehi
mt ohav
edi
nnerwi
thus
oneofthesedayspl
ease?
Me:Iwi
l
launt
ybutfornowhei
sst
il
lweaksi
nce
hewasshotl
astweek
Aunt
y:Ineedt
oseehim ur
gentl
ysoi
fpossi
ble
maybeyouwil
ltakemetohim
Me:
whati
sgoi
ngonaunt
y?
Aunty
:letmetal
ktohi
mfi
rstt
henmay
bet
his
wil
lal
lbeclear
[
05/
02,
18:
54]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose
Chapt
er49

Auntydidnotwanttoelabor at
ebutIwasso
curi
oustoknowwhatwasgoi ngoni nst
eadshe
wenttosleep.Ical
l
edVi ctortofi
ndouti fheis
okandhet oldmethathei sgoodj ustmissi
ng
me.Itoldhimthataunt
ywant stomeethi m and
askedifheknowswhohi sfatheri
sandhe
l
aughedsohar d.

Vict
or:
Don’twor
rybabeI’
m sonotrel
atedt
o
youift
hat
’swhatyou’
reworri
edabout
.
Me:hahahathat
’snoti
tmylovebuti
t’
swhat
aunt
ysaidorrat
herthewayshesai
ditthat
mademet ohavequesti
ons.
Vi
ctor
:howaboutIaskoneofmyguystodri
ve
metoyourhouset
omor r
owaroundl
unchthen
wewil
ltakei
tfr
om ther
e
Me:
Thatwoul
dbel
ovel
ybabet
hanky
ouso
much

Mycur i
ositygott hebet terofmebecausehei s
toocal m andi t’
sabi tsuspici
ousi fy ouaskme.
It
’seitherhei scleanashecl aimsorhi st r
acks
arecov ered.Igoogl edt heguyonl yt ohav ean
eyeopener .Hewentt otheStJohn’ scol l
egei n
Johannesbur gandpassedwi t
hf lyingcol our s
andpr oceededt oUni versit
yofSt ellenbosch
wher eheal soexcel led, t
oppingi tupwi th
mast ersfrom t herev eredHav arduni versity.He
hasast r
ingofbusi nessesr angingf rom t wo
hotelsinMozambi que, Blockoff latsi n
RosebankJohannesbur gandast ringofot her
businessesi nCapeTown.Ther eisnot hing
abouthi sper sonallifeexceptaf ewpi ctures
withhismot her.Hehaswonaf ewbusi ness
accoladesandIhav etosayI ’
mi mpr essed.
Enoughsnoopi ngforoneday ,Itist imef orme
tosleep.Thef oll
owi ngdayIdr oveThandot o
school andwi shedhergoodl uckf orherf i
nal
exams.Ithendrov et
owor kandgotbusywi th
thebusi
nessathand.Af terworkIwenthome
andfoundaunt i
einbedandmysonwasno
wheretobef ound.Iaskedherifshei salr
ight
andshetoldmet hatshei sandthatNel ewent
withVi
ctor.Hecriedforhim andVictordidnot
mindgoingwi t
hhim.Iwi l
lfetchhi
m af t
erIfind
outwhyaunt i
eisinbedwi thredeyes.

Aunt i
e: whenwewer epreparingf ort
hef uneral
ourbr otherhadt obebr oughthomet opayhi s
l
astr espectt ohissons.OnThur sdaynighta
sangomacameandaskedt ospeakt ofamily
member s.Het ol
dust hatSanel e’ssoulwill
neverr estunl esshi stwinisbr oughtbackhome
tohisgr av e.Heal sosaidt hatnoonewi llever
touchhi schi ldrenbecausehi st winis
protectingt hem.Theonl yper sonwhocamet o
mindwasVi ctorsincehelov edt hechil
drenf i
rst
ti
mehesawt hem.
Me:howi sthatevenpossibl
ethoughcozVict
or
i
sorigi
nall
yfrom JohannesburgandSanel
ewas
notatwin?Thesepeopledon’tevenlookt
he
sameifyouaskme
Auntie:Haveyouev erlookedatVi ctorandSt he?
ThisiswhyIwant edt ospeakt oVi ctorcozifI
remembercor rectlythehospi t
al saidshegav e
birt
ht otwi
nsbutshedi sput
edt hatwi t
hher
husbandsay i
ngt hatit’sasmearcampai gn
from peopl
ewhodonotwanthi mt obeki ng.
Me:Thi
sisjustconf
usi
ng.Whatdi
dVi
ctorsay
t
henaunti
e?
Aunt
ie:hewantsyoutocomet
ohi
shouseand
hewil
ltel
lyouever
ythi
ng
Ithankedheranddr ovet oVict
or’
shousewith
Thandocozaunt i
ewant edtosleep.Wear
r i
ved
thereandheopenedt hegateforusthenwe
drovein.Anolderwomananswer edt
hedoor
forusandl etusin.Igreetedherandshetook
ustot helounge.Thandohuggedhi mthentook
Nel
eoutsi
detoplaysot
hatwecantal
k.He
i
ntr
oducedthewomanashismother
.

Mom: 36y ear sagoIwaswor ki

ngatahospi tal
i
nRi chard’sbaywhent hiswomangav ebirt
ht o
twinsbutf orsomer easont heycouldnotkeep
bot hoft hem andt hef at heraskedmet okil
lthe
othert win.Iagr eedev ent houghIknewIcoul d
nev erdosomet hingliket hat .Iwasmar ri
edbut
coul dnothav echi l
drensoIwel comedt hisasa
giftfrom God.Myhusbanddi dnothavea
probl em wi t
ht heboyandl ov edhim
i
mmedi ately.Af ewday sl atert hi
smansawme
witht hebabyboyandgotangr ytel
l
ingmet hat
hewi ll
killus.Itoldmyhusbandandhet ol
dus
toleav et hef oll
owingdaybutunf or
tunatel
ythat
nightourhousewast or chedbutImanagedt o
escapewi t
hmyboyandwemov edto
Johannesbur g.Herehei sandf rom thehospital
recor ds,Ilearntthathi sf atherisSibusisoSibiya.
Myt hroatbecamedr yandIdi dn’tknowwhet her
thepl acewassuddenl yhotori twasj ustme.
Whatar et heoddst hatofal lthemeni nSouth
AfricaIwoul dfall
forSanel e’slonglostt wi
n?
HowdoIexpl aint
hisandi fso, isVictorthe
kil
ler?Somet hingstil
ldoesn’ taddupandIst i
ll
can’texpl ainhowSanel esupposedl yki l
l
edhis
brotherandshothi sf atherwhenhei sdead.
Coul ditbet hathissoni salsoar it
ualist
?
Me:Forgi
vemebutIneedtoaskthese
quest
ionsformysani
ty.Vi
ctor
,di
dyouki
l
l
MongeziandMusa?
Hejumpedoutoft hesof
aandlookedatme
wit
hpaininhi
sey esli
kehecan’
tbeli
evet
hatI
act
uall
yaskedthatquest
ion
Vict
or:r
eall
yLolothat’
showl owy outhinkof
me?Icannev erhurtaflyandIwon’ tl
i
eandsay
Ihaven’
tthoughtofki
lli
nghisfatherandJames
butnoIhav eneverki
l
ledanyonei nmyl i
fe.I
f
youdon’tbeli
evemet henIdon’tknowhowt o
makey
oubel
i
eveme
Me: Ihadtoaskcozthecoinci
dencewasjust
toomuchandnomat terhowmuchIt r
iedt
o
i
gnor eit
,tr
uthi
syouwer ealwaysatt
hewrong
placeatthewrongti
me
Iapol
ogi sedandhi smot hercal medhi m down
andwest artedt al
kingli
kenor mal peopl e.
Somet hingst i
lldoesn’taddupandeacht i
meI
l
ookatVi ctorIseeSanel e’ seyesbutwhenI
l
ookagai nit’
shi seyes.It hinkI
’ml osingmy
mindandIneedt ogetoutofher ebef oreI
becomeacer ti
fiednutcase.Howdi dSanel ekil
l
hisbrothert henandhel ooksnot hingli
keVi ct
or?
Am Itheonl yoneconf usedher e?Ist oodupt o
l
eaveandIswearIsawSanel esi t
tingright
whereVi ctorissi t
ti
ngandwear ingt hecl othes
Vicwaswear i
ngandImi ssedast epandf ell
hit
ti
ngheadf i
rstont hecof feetabl e.
Thi
sli
fet
hough!
!!
!!
!
(Ir
eal
i
sedt
hatIr
emov
edt
henot
icebef
ore
somepeoplesawitsoIam takingabreakf
rom
wri
tingtof
indmyselfanddealwit
hissuesI
neverdeal
twit
h.I
’l
lbebackbeforeyouknowit
)
[
05/
02,
18:
54]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose

Chapt
er50
(
Nar
rat
ive)

Ther ewasbloodsl owlyoozingf rom her

foreheadasshel aytheremot ionlessandbot h
Victorandhismot herrushedt owar dshernot
quitesurewhatcausedhert of al
l l
i
ket hatasif
shesawaghost .Whent heyreali
sedt hatthe
i
njurymi ghtbeaser i
ousonet heydecidednot
tomov eherbutt ocal l
anambul ancetor ush
hertohospi t
al.I
twasunsur etobot hoft hem
whatcausedhert oactsospookedaf ew
secondsbef oreshef el
lbutwhat evershei s
goingthroughVictordeci dedthatshemi ght
needcounsel
l
ingtodealwithal
ltheskel
etons
comingoutofthecl
osetthati
sherli
fe.
Theambul ancearrivedandtheyloadedheri n
thestret
cherandt ookhertohospital
,Victor
ri
dingwiththem ashedi dnotwantt olether
outofhissight
.Hi smom wentt ogettheki ds
andtoldthem whathashappenedandt hey
drovetohospit
al.Byt heti
meshegott here,t
he
doctorswerebusywi t
hherbutVictorassured
herthatshewill
beokasshewokeupbef ore
theygottohospital.

“
Sowhydi dyounev ertell
mewhomyr eal
f
atherisbef
oretoday? ”Vi
ctoraskedhismot her
i
nacl i
ppedtoneashewasbat tl
ingananger
t
hatwast hr
eateni
nghi sresol
ve.Perspir
ati
on
f
ormedonherf oreheadasshest r
uggledtoget
t
herightwordstotellherson.

“
Becausey
ouar
eandhav
eal
way
sbeena
Khumal oandt hatmanwant ednot hi
ngtodo
withy ou.Ididt histoprotectyoumychi l
d”Her
voicewasabi tshakyassheanswer edandthe
emot i
oni nherv oicebrokehim andbroughthi
m
backt ot hetimewhenhi smot herdidever
ythi
ng
tomakesur ethathegotnot hi
ngbutthebest
outofl if
e.It’
sal way sbeenjustthetwoofthem
soi tmakessenset hatatthatmomenthewas
feelingthatway .

“Igetyoumom, it’
sjustthatIhav eaf eel
ingthat
Lolothi
nksIhi dthet r
uthf orsi
nisterreasons
andthatj ustki
ndar ubsmeupt hewr ongway .
I’
m notlikethatandwoul dneverdot hattomy
queen”Hewasconf li
ctedinallt
hisashel ov
es
hismot herwitheverybonei nhisbodybuthe
hatespeopl ewhokeept hetrut
hf rom him al
lin
thenameofpr otecti
nghi m.Heai n’tachildf
or
fl
ipsake.
Thedoct
orappr
oachedt
hem andt
oldt
hem t
hat
shecannowseev i
sitorsforashor twhileas
sheisheav il
ysedat edandt hedr ugsmi ght
knockherof finnot ime.Theywenti nandshe
wasnotasbadast heyhadf earedandt hey
tal
kedf orashor twhilebef oreshedozedof f.
Theydeci dedtot aket hekidsbackt otheir
granny.Victorsuggest edthatt heybuyt hem
foodont heirwayhomeandhet oldoneofhi s
guystodr ivehercarbackt oherhousei ncase
herauntneedst ranspor tat
ion.Theyt ol
dher
auntwhathappenedandassur edhert hatsheis
nottoobad.

“Sopleaset ell
me, i
fSanelewant sVictortogo
tohisgrave, wil
lwegetther i
ghtr eceptiont her
e
seeingast hefatherneverwant edhi mint he
fi
rstplaceandwi ththi
sbel i
efthatt hefirstson
needst odiewi t
hhisoffspri
ngs? ”Victor’s
mot heraskedwi thworr
yi mpri
nt edi nherf ace.
“RightnowIdon’thaveanswersbutIwill
consultmybr ot
herThembaandi nf
orm him
thenaskt hewayforwar
dinthissaga”thi
swas
thebestanswershecouldgiveunderthe
cir
cumst ances.
Aftertheywer egone,shecall
edherbrotheras
promi sedandaskedhi m whatneedstobedone
andhepr omisedt ofl
yt oCapeTownt he
followingday .Sheputthekidstobedwhen
theyf i
nishedeat i
ngandal sowenttosleepaft
er
pray i
ngf orhernieceofcause.Yolowas
releasedt woday slat
erandVi ct
orwasbyher
sideast heyt ookherhomewher eherauntand
uncl eThembawer ewai t
ing.

Banoy
olo’
wor
ds
Isti
l
l f
eltl
i
keVi ctorwasn’
tbeingcomplet
ely
honestwithmeandt hatpi
ssedmeof fbutIj
ust
couldnotpinpointexact
lywhatiti
sabouthim.
Whatpuzzledmewashi m changi
ngi
ntoSanele
ri
ghti nfr
ontofmyey esandatt hatmomentI
knewwi t
houtadoubtt hatheki l
ledhi sbr other
andshothi sfatherbuthowdoIr ationally
explainthechangewi thoutsoundi ngl ikeI’
ve
j
ustl ostmymar bles.Tr uthisI’m scar ed
shitl
essofhim andhav enowayoft acklingthe
i
ssuewi t
houtraffl
ingf eathers.AsI ’m sitt
ing
thereoppositehimi nmyhousei thappened
againandhej usttur nedintoSanel eandI
closedmyey esshutbutwhenIopenedt hem
hewasVi ct
or.Coul ditbet hatI’
ml osingmy
mi nd?

“I
t’
shappeni
ngagai
n.Vi
ctorjustt
urnedint
o
Sanel
e.Whatisgoi
ngonhere?”Isai
dclearl
y
fr
eakedout
Uncl
eThemba:Weneedt ot
akehimtoapastor
whocanexpl
ainal
lthi
stousbecauset
hisi
s
somescar
yshit
Vi
ctor
:Ist
hisev
enpossi
blet
houghf
or
someonet
obet
wopeopl
e?
Uncl
e:Ri
ghtnowIhav
enoanswer
s
Theyal lwentt otheirl
ocalpast orwhopr ayed
forthem f oralongt i
mebef orehet oldthem
thatthespi ri
tofSaneleispossessi nghim and
hehasbeenusi nghimt oavengehi sdeat h.He
willnotrestunt i
lhisbrot
herknowshi sfinal
resti
ngpl ace.Victorneverkil
ledany onebuthis
brotherwasusi nghisbodyt ocar r
youtal lt
his
butnowhewant storestwhichi swhyhei s
i
mpat ientandshowi nghimsel ftoYolo.

[
05/
02,
21:
29]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose

Chapt
er51

Idi
dn’
tknowhowt ofeelaboutal
lthi
sasitf
elt
l
ikeabaddream.Howi sitev
enpossibl
ebut
aft
ert
hethi
ngsIexperi
encedIcan’thel
pbut
beli
evet hepastor.Bloodisr eal
l
ystrongcozit
’s
possiblethatSaneleist heonewhobr oughtus
togetherandt hatheappr ovesofthe
rel
ati
onshi p.Inowf eelbadforaccusinghi
m of
kil
li
ngwhenhehi msel fdoesn’tevenknowthat
hewasbei ngused.
Me:soifwet
akeVi
ctortot
heSanel
e’
sgr
ave
wi
ll
thatmakehi
mrestinpeace?
Pastor
:yeshewill
butyouneedtogett
hisdone
soonbeforehegetst
oorest
less.Hi
sspi
ri
tis
notatpeace
Uncl
eThemba:doeshisf
atherhav
etobe
pr
esentorcanIdot
hisonmyown?
Past
or:
unl
essthefat
heri
sdeadt
henhei
sthe
onewhomustdothis
Uncl
eThemba:
thanky
oupast
or
Weleftt
her
einadazeanddr ovehome.The
scar
ythi
ngnowi st
hatVict
orlooksli
keSanel
e
andwecan’
tletThandoseehiml i
kethi
s.He
l
ooksweakasi fhei snotf eel ingokandwhenI
askhi m het oldmet hathei st i
red.Wedr opped
him athi shouseandt oldhi smot herwhat
happened.Shewasal soscar edoft hewayhe
l
ooksbutwhenweexpl ai
nedev er ythingshe
under stood.Wel eftandwenthomet obewi t
h
thekids.Ourbi ggestwor r
ynowi st hathis
fatherwant shi m deadsochancesofhi m
performi ngt hisar eslim.Wear r
ivedhomeand
j
ustwentt obed.Myheadf eel slikei t’
saboutt o
explode.Howwi l
lVictorgot owor ki fhelooks
l
ikesomeoneel seandwhatwi llhappent ohim
now?Thef ollowi ngdayuncl eThembal eftt
ogo
andt alkt ohi sbr otherandal sopr epar efor
Victor’sintroduct iontohi sf ami ly.Acabt ook
himt ot heai rpor tthenIcal l
edVi ct ortoseehow
hei sdoi ngandhesoundsl ikehei snotgoodat
allsoaf terdr oppi ngThandoatschool Idroveto
hishouseandf oundhi m sleepi ng.Hei sgetting
weakbyt hedaybuthehashi sf acenow.I
stayedwi thhi m andar ound10am hewas
gettingweakerandhi st emper aturehi tthe
skiesandwet ookhi mt ohospi t
al.Bynowhei s
sweat i
ngbucket sandI ’
mr eallywor ri
edabout
him.Wegett ohospi talandt heyat t endedt o
him.Wesatt her ewor riedandscar edoft he
unknown.Thedoct orscamebackandsai dthey
can’tf indany thi ngwr ongwi thhi m exceptt he
temper aturebutVi cist ooweakt odoany t
hing.
Hewasadmi t tedast heywant edt or unsome
testsonhi mt odet ermi newhatwascausi ng
himt obesosi ck.Il eftwheni twast i
met o
fetchmydaught erf r
om school andwhenIgot
homeIf oundLusanel esl eeping.That ’
sso
unlikehi mt osl eept hist imeoft heday .This
meanst hattoni ghthewi l
lbesohy perandIwi l
l
hav et oent ertainhi m.Ist art
eddi nnerandhe
onlywokeupj ustaf terwehadourdi nnerand
hest ar tsfussingandt ellsust hathewant sto
seeVi ctor.Ihav etot akehi mt ohospi t
al whenI
takeVi ctorhisdi nnerandhei sst il
l weakandhe
i
scol d.Theheat eri sonbutsomeonei s
seriouslycoldsoIhol dhi shandsandpr ayso
har dandaskst heLor dt ointervenenow.I twas
ami ssi
ont ofeedhi m andwhenIwasdoneI
j
ustsatt her eholdinghi scoldhand.Lusanel e
taggedonmeandaskedmet oputhi m on
Victor’sbedandev ent houghIwasn’ tsur e
aboutt hisIjustdidit.Thest r
angestt hing
happenedwhenhegoti ntobedt hough.He
kissedVi ctorandVi cst artedshaki ngsobad
thatIwassoscar edandpar alysed.Mymi nd
j
ustf r
ozeandmyboyj ustsatt herewi t
hout
mov i
ngwhi leVictorwasshaki ng.Af terafew
mi nutesitstoppedandhecal meddownand
l
ai dbacki ntohispi l
l
ow.HemadeNel elayhis
headonhi schestandpl ayedwi thhishead.

Vi
ctor
:Il
ovey
ouLol
oandt
hanksf
orcomi
ng
i
ntomyli
fe
Me:Ilov
ey outoobabe.Tr
ytor
estandIhope
you’
l
lbefinesoon
Vict
or:
Ihopesot
oonana.Hasuncl
eThemba
call
edyet
?
Me:Nohehasn’
tcal
ledandIknowhewi
l
lfi
nda
waytohel
pyouwit
ht hi
s
Wecont inuedt alki
ngwhi lemyboydozedof fon
hischest .Inowunder st andthebondbet ween
theset woandf ort hef irstti
mesi ncet hissaga
startedIf eelreli
evedt hatIf ellforVictorcozhe
genui nelylovesmychi ldren.Wehadt ol eave
thoughandheaskedmet oswi t
chof fthe
heaterbef oreIl eft
.Iki ssedhi mt hent ookmy
boyandl eft.Icannev erexpl ai
nwhathappened
i
nt her ebutI ’
m gladt hatmymani smuchbet ter
.
WegothomeandIt ookhi mt obedandwentt o
j
oinaunt i
ei nthesi tt
ingr oom.Shet oldmet hat
uncleThembacal l
edandt oldherthatVi ctor’
s
fatherdoesn’ twantany thingtodowi thhim as
hischi l
drenar eal l
gone.Heev enthreatened
Thembawi thacour tor dershoul dhet ryto
bringVi ctorany wher enextt ot hegrav eyard.
Thisi swhatIexpect edandIdon’ tknowhow
Vict
ori
sgoi
ngtotaket
hisnews.Whycan’t
thi
ngsj
ustr
unsmoothl
yinmyf amil
ysothatwe
canhaveagoodt
imeli
keothercoupl
es?
[
05/
02,
21:
30]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose

Chapt
er52
Iwentt obedandcal ledVictorj ustt osay
goodni ght.Hesoundsmuchbet teronthe
phoneandImi sshi mt hough.Imi sshis
l
aught erandt hewayhecuddl es.Wemi ghtnot
havebeeni nti
mat ey etbutIl ov ehi m wi
thal l
my
hear t
.If i
nall
yfellasleepami dstmyt hought s
andt hef oll
owingdayIgotr eadyf orwork.I
droppedmydaught eratschool andwentt o
wor k.Thingsar eabi thecticsoIhav eno
chancef orsmalltalkaswear eshor tst
affed.I
wor kedt hroughmyl unchbr eakst art
ingwi t
h
dinnert henleftatthreetof et chmydaught er
thenwentt ocheckVi cinhospi talandhei snot
l
ooki ngt oogoodt odayandt hatget smer eal
ly
wor
ri
ed.Ibr
oughthi
mfoodandhel
pedhi
m eat
.

Vict
or: Sanel
ewashereandhei
sangry.Hesai
d
hewi l
lmakeway sformetogotohisgrav
ecoz
myf atherref
usedt
ot akemet
here.Hesays
uncl
eThembacandoi t
Me:Andt ot
hinkthatIcameheretot
ell
you
aboutyourf
ather
’srefusal
toi
ntr
oduceyout
o
thefamil
y
Victor
: mybr
otheri
slooki
ngoutf
ormebuthe
i
sf eedingof
fmyener gyf
orhi
mtofulf
ilal
lthi
s
whichmeanst hatt
hiscer
emonyneedsto
happensoonandhewant smeoutofthe
hospital.

Iwentt ofi
ndthedoctorandaskedhimt o
dischargeVicasI’
mt akinghi
mt osome
“special
ist
”inDurban.Theydidnothav
ea
problem coztheycan’tf
indanyt
hingwrongwi
th
him andkeepi nghim her eisusel essany way.I
l
oadedhi mi nt omycarwhenal lthepaper work
i
ssi gnedandt ookhi m homecozhi smot her
hast ogobackt oJobur g.Ihadt odr i
vepasthi s
houseandpackabagf orhi m andhei nsisted
thatIdr i
veoneofhi scar ssot hathecanbe
comf ortable.WhenwegothomeIhel pedhi m
i
nt omybedr oom andexpl ainedt oauntiewhat
i
shappeni ng.Thi sceremonywi l
l haveto
happensoonasIdon’ twantt oloseanot her
personov ert his.Iwarmedt hefoodanddi shed
upf orev eryone.Ihadt of eedmybabyt henhe
askedf orLusanel eandThando.Theywentt o
sitwithhi m whi l
eIcleanup.Byt het i
meIwent
tosleept heki dswer esleepingonhi schestand
Itookt hem t oThando’ sbedwhi chhasnev er
beensl eptatImustadd.It henwentt obedand
askedmymant opraywi thme.

Vict
or:
I’
m worr
iedbabe.Whati
fsomethi
ng
goeswrongandInevergett
obewellagai
n?
Me:r
elaxbaby,
youwi
l
lbewel
lagai
nandpl
ay
wi
thyourchi
ldr
en.
Islepti nhi sar msandhepl ay edwi thmyhai r
untilIf ellasleep.Thatni ghtIdr eamtofSanel e
andhewassmi li
ng.It ookast ept owar dshi m
andheopenedhi sarmsbutwhenIwasabout
toembr acehi m hechangedi nt oVi ctorand
huggedme.Imi ghtnotbegoodwi thdr eams
butIhav east rongf eelingt hatt hisi sthel ast
ti
mewewi llev erseeSanel eandhehas
offi
ci all
yhandedt her eignst ohi sbr other.I
sleptl i
keababyandt hef ollowi ngdayIgotup
andgotr eadyf orwor k.Itwasn’ tlongaf terIgot
towor kwhenuncl eThembacal ledmeandt old
met hathi sol derbr otherhasser iousst rokeand
hei st akinghi mt ohospi talaswespeak.Thi s
meanst hatThembacanst ar twi thpr epar at
ions
forthecer emonywi thoutanydi stur bances
from hi sbr other .Iknowhecanhandl et hewi f
e
cozsheonl yget sthepower sf rom herhusband.
Ican’ twai tf ort hedayt of i
nal l
yar rivesot hatI
canhav emymanback.Ihatewhathisfather
didbutI’m gl
adt
hathi
sbrotheri
sdoing
everyt
hingforhi
m.Whenknockof ft
imearriv
ed
Idrovehomeandaskedifauntyhasspokent o
uncleThembaandshesaidno.Itoldherwhat
happenedandshejustsmil
ed.

Aunty:
Thissi
mpl ymeansthatwecangother
e
andprepar
efortheceremony.Ifi
t’
sokwit
hyou
Iwil
lgowithNeleasIbeli
evethathewi
ll
be
saf
ewi t
hmybr otheri
nhospit
al
Me:mybiggestpr
oblem i
sthathiswi
feand
daught
erar
estil
lther
eandy ouknowtheyhat
e
me
Aunty:
thenSanelewil
lhavet
odosomet hi
ng
aboutthoseonescozVict
orwil
lwantt
hekids
ther
etomeethi sot
herchi
ldr
en.
RightnowIdon’
tknowwhattothi
nkbutletme
j
ustgot omybedroom andt
ell
mymanwhat ’
s
goingon.Hesmil
edwhenIwalkedinandNele
i
swi thhi m.It oldhi m whathappenedandhe
openedhi sarmsandhuggedme.Wear e
gettingcl osert ot hef i
nishl i
nenowandnot hing
willstopus.Wecal leduncl eThembaandasked
i
fheneedshel pwi thany thingandhet oldus
thatweneedt obet her eonThur sdaywi t
ht he
chil
dr enandhehasev erythingundercont rol.
Thisi smusi ct omyear sandIcan’ twaitfort hi
s
tobeov er.IcalledSt heandt ol
dherandshe
alsopr omi sedt ocomewi thus.Thef oll
owing
dayatwor kIcal ledJohnt of i
ndouthowmy
mom i sdoi ngandatl easthehassomegood
newsf orme.Mom i soutofcomaandi sdoi ng
goodev ent houghdadnev ercamet oseeheri n
hospi tal.HowIwi sht hiscanpr ovetohert hat
themanwant snot hingt odowi thherandshe
mov esonbef oresheget ski ll
ed.Ithankedhi m
andcar riedonwi thwor k.Ical l
eduncl eThemba
andt ol dhimt hatSt hei salsocomi ngwi t
hus
andhedi dn’thav eapr oblem.OnThur sdaywe
allf
lewoutt oDur banandmyboyi sjustso
excitedaboutf l
ying.Whenwegott otheai rport
wef oundal adyst andingt herewi t
ht wogi r
ls
andt heyr ant otheirfatherwhent heysawhi m.
Hei sst i
llweakt houghbutwehel phimi nt othe
hir
ed8seat ercart hat ’
salreadywai ti
ngf orus.
Shakadr oveust ouncl eThemmba’ shouse.The
l
ittl
egi rl
sareZamant ungwaandBuhl ebezwe.
Theyl ooksomuchl i
keThandot hatIcan’ tstop
l
ooki ngatt hem.Thel adywhobr oughtt hem i s
Victor’scousi nandt heyar esuchl ov elykids
whoaskal otofquest i
ons.It hinkIlov ethem
alr
eadyandt heyar efussingov ertheirsibli
ngs.
Nelel ovesat tent
ionandenj oy sallthisattention.
ThandoandBuhl elookl i
ket winsandIcan’ t
beli
ev ethatSanel edi dthisforme
[
05/
02,
21:
32]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose

Chapt
er53
Zamaisabitqui
etunli
keherli
tt
lesist
erandI
canseet
hatshelovesherfat
her.Sheputsher
headinherdad’slapaswedr iveof f
.Wear ri
ve
atThemba’shouseandmostoft heeldersare
herewait
ingforus.There’
sululationandtears
ofjoyasthelonglostsontouchesgr oundathis
fat
her’
splace.Lucki
lywewon’ tbesl eepi
ng
herecozThembapr eparedusapl aceathis
house.Aunti
e’ssonMt hokoisalsoher eandit’
s
afamilyr
eunion.

Bongi
:Whati
sthi
sprost
it
utedoi
ngher
eand
wit
habastar
dchi
ld
Vict
or:Icantakeanythi
ngbutwhensomeone
i
nsultsmyf amil
yItakeoffense.Watchwhat
yousayory ouwill
regreteverset
ti
ngy ourey
es
onme
MrsSibiy
a: Ihopey
ouknowwhaty ouaredoing
Thembacozt hi
swil
lcomebacktohauntyou.
There’
sar easonwedidn’
twanthi
m andtous
heisdead
Vi
ctor
:Thanksf
ormaki
ngi
tcl
earmot
her
dearestandf
oryourinf
ormat
ionIam her
efor
myt winandnotanyofyousoIwil
lbeoutof
yourhairi
naji
ffy
Lusanelestoodupandwentt ostandi nf
rontof
Bongithenmov edtohi sgrandmotherbef ore
shecamebackt ositonmyl ap.Thi si
sstrange
butThembat oldust oleaveaswehav efulfi
ll
ed
whathisnephewwant ed.Wegott ohishouse
andreceivedthewar mestwelcome.Het hen
showeduswher ewewi l
lsl
eep.IhelpedVi ct
or
toeatashewasget ti
ngweakbyt hemoment .
Zamaaskedt ospeaktomeandIt ookhert o
theroom theywill
besl eepi
ngin.

Zama:
aunt
y,whati
swr
ongwi
thdad?wi
l
lhebe
ok?
Me:Heissi
ckbecauseheneededtocomehere
andmeethi
sfamil
ybutaftert
heyper
for
mthis
cer
emonyhewil
lbefine.
Zama:
I’
m scar
edaunt
ybecausenexty
earwe
wanttostaywit
hhi
m.Mymother
’sboy
fri
end
doesn’
tli
keus.Hesay
swear
espoil
tand
mistr
eat
sus
Me:
doesy
ourf
atherknowaboutt
his?
Zama:Ican’
ttelldadcoztheytookmyphone
andsai
dI’m groundedbutIdon’tknowwhatI
di
dtogetgroundedandmom’ salwayst
here
whenItal
ktodad.Theyt ol
ddadt hatmyphone
wasconfi
scatedatschool.

Ijustfelttheur getohugherandIdi d.She

startedcr yi
ngandIunder standherf earof
l
osingt heonlyparentwhomeanssomet hingto
them.Iwi l
lneverunder st
andsomemot hers
whochoosemenov ertheirchildr
en.Sheasked
met obegt heirfathertotaket hem from thei
r
mot herast heyar enothappyt hereandIagr eed.
Iknowt hisisnotaneasyt opicaswear eanew
coupl ebutwe’ vealreadybeent hr
oughal otthat
Ifeel l
ikewecanf aceany thing.Iwenttohel pin
thekit
chent
henwhenwedishedupItook
Vict
or’
sfoodtohi
m andhel
pedhi
m eat.

Me:babeZamaaskedmet
ot al
ktoy oucoz
t
heywanttost
aywithy
ounextyearandstudy
i
nCapeTown
HisfacelitupandIsawaghostofasmi l
eon
hisface.Coulditbethathehasal wayswanted
thi
sbutcoul dn’
tachievethatbecauseofthe
misunderstandingbetweenparents?Iki
ssed
him onthef or
eheadbecausehel ookssocute
andhandsome.
Vict
or:Iwouldlov
ethatbabebutwhat
promptedthi
sbecauseev enthoughthei
r
motherwantedmet otakethem alongti
me
ago,they
’vealwayswantedtobewithher?
It
oldhi
m ever
ythi
ngandhesqueezedmyhand
whil
ehecl
enchedhist
eethinanger.Hetook
hi
sphoneandmadeacallandt ol
dwhoev erhe
wastal
ki
ngtothathewouldli
kethekidstostay
wit
hhimf r
om nowonwards.Thecall
didn’tt
ake
l
ongandhekepthiscoolanddidnotshowhi s
anger
.Ihuggedhi
m whenhewasdoneandI
sawtear
sf al
l
ingf
rom t
hosebeauti
fultear
s.
Vi
ctor
:woul
dyoumindi
fmychi
l
drencomet
o
st
aywithmebabe?
Me:Iwoul
dlovethatbabecozIcanseethat
youl
oveyourchi
ldr
enandIsawhowy oulov
e
andtr
eatmineli
ketheyareyour
s
Vict
or:Il
ovey
ouBanoy
oloNyat
hiandIwi
l
ldo
anyt
hingtomakey
ouhappy.
Iwasrewardedwi t
haki ssthenLusanelecame
andaskedtosleepwi t
hVi ctor
.Ilef
thimt here
andwenttohelpwi t
hthedi shes.Thekidsslept
wit
hVictorexceptZamawhoaskedt osleep
wit
hme.Shewentt osaygoodni ghttoher
fat
herandcamet ojoinme.Shekeptsmi ling
andwhenIaskedwhatwasi nhermi ndshe
l
ookedshy l
yatme.
Zama:
daddysay
syouar
eoursecondmot
her
andThandoandNel
ear
eoursi
bli
ngs.
Me:heisri
ghtnanaandI
’
m happythatyouwill
bestay
ingi
nCapeTowncozy ourf
athermissed
yousomuch
Wet al
kedf orawhi l
eunt i
lshef ell
asleep.I’m
l
ov ingheral readyandIcan’ twai tforthem to
closeschool sandj oinusi nCapeTown.The
foll
owi ngdayIwokeupandwentt ohel pwith
breakf astandwhenIcamebackt obat h
Lusanel eIf oundZamabat hinghi m alr
eady
thenIhel pedVi ctortot hebat hroom ashei s
reallyweakt oday .Ithenbr oughthi m his
breakf astandf edhi m.Ar ound8uncl eThemba
receivedacal lfrom Zandi l
etelli
nghi mt hat
bothBongi andhermot herwentbl i
ndl astnight
afterwel eft.Doest hismeant hatLumade
them bl i
ndwhenhest aredatt hem?Ican’ t
believet hisandi fIwasMrSi biy aIwoul djust
conf essev er ythingsot hatIcanbef reeoft his
cursebutt hemani stoost ubbor n.Wel lI’
m glad
theyar ebl i
ndcozt heywon’ tdisturbuswhen
wegett oper f
or mt hecer emonyt hisaf ternoon.
I’
m sor rybutIdon’ tf eel anypi tyf orthem as
theybr oughtt hisont hemsel ves.That
after noonVi ctorandt hechi ldrenwer etakent o
thegr av etoper for m whatneedst obedone
andt heyt ookl ongert hanIt houghtbutwhen
theycameback, Vi ctorwaswal kingunai ded
andIhav etoadmi tt hathel ooksawesomel y
yummyev enifIhav et osaysomy self
.He
wal ksl ikeheownst hepl aceandIf eelsor ryfor
hispar ent sfortur ningt heirbacksonhi m.Just
ast heywer eent eringt heYar dShaka’ scar
drov ei nwi thVi ctor’smom, Sinomt haand
Juni or ,
t heirpreciousj ewel .Mywor dhei sso
cutet hatIcan’ ttakemyey esf rom him.He
makesmesmi lefornor eason.Thecer emony
cont inuedf ormostoft heni ghtt heni nt he
mor ningweal l l
eftf orDur banandt hanked
uncl eThembaf orev erything.Webookedi ntoa
hotel andt heki dswentswi mmi ng.I t
’sonl ytwo
weeksbef oretheki dscl oseatschool and
comet oli
vewit
ht hei
rfatherandIdon’tknow
whoi smor eexci
tedbet weenallofus.Iaskedi
f
hewant st
ojoi
nt hekidsbuthewentt hrough
hisbagandt ookouthi stoil
etr
ybagthen
retr
ievedasmal l
box.Het ookmyhandand
wentdownononeknee.

Victor
:ther e’
snopointindelay i
ngcozIknew
thatveryfirstdayImety ouatt herestaurant
thatyouar ewhathasbeenmi ssi
ngi nmyl i
fe.
Woul dyouhonourmebymaki ngmey our
husbandt ol oveandcherishy ouandt opr otect
youagai nstlif
e’shar
dships?Wi lly
ougi vemy
chil
drenal ov i
nghomeandl etmebet hef ather
tomybr ot her’
skidswhohav ealr
eadyst olen
myhear tasi tis?

Astearsfel
ldownmyfaceIsi
lent
lyasked
myselfi
fit’
snott
ooearl
ytobemar r
yingt
his
wonderfulmansmil
i
ngexpect
antl
yatme?
[
05/
02,
21:
33]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose

Chapt
er54

Hest oodupandwi pedthet earsfr

om myf ace.
Idon’tknowwhatIev erdidt odeservet hi
ski nd
oflovebutIthankSanel ef r
om sav i
ngmef rom
alifeofdestructi
onandgi vingmemeani ngful
l
ife.NowIam amot hertofourbeautiful
chil
drenandaf uturewi f
et oawonder ful man
whohasshownmenot hingbutt heutmostl ove.
What ’
stheret othinkaboutwhent heansweri s
stari
ngmer ightonmyf ace?Whatdoeshe
havet odoformet oseet hathereall
yl ovesme?

Me:
Iwi
l
lmar
ryy
oubabe
Thewordswereoutbefor
eIcouldf
inda
romant
icwaytosaythem andhescoopedme
upandswir
ledmearound.Heputtheri
ngini
ts
ri
ghtful placet henki ssedme.I tst ar
tedsl ow
andpassi onat et hengothungr yandpl eading
thatIfoundmy selfr espondi ngwi thoutacar ein
thewor l
d.Thi st omei shomeandt hereisno
goingback.I tfeel sl i
ket her oadshav ebeen
l
eadi ngmeher eandnowi tst imef ormet osi t
back, relaxandj ustenj oyt her i
de.He
unbut t
onedmyshi rtandt ookast epbackand
j
ustadmi r
edme.Hesatdownandmademesi t
onhi slapwi t hmyl egsopenedandki ssedme
again.Icoul dseet hehungeri nhi sey esand
tasteitinhi smout h.Itsoundedl ikethesound
wascomi ngf rom f arawaybutbef oreIknewi t,
therewasbangi ngont hedoorandIknewi t
wasLusanel e.Iqui ckl ybut tonedmyshi rtwhi l
e
wegi ggledl i
keschool chi l
dr en.Hest oodup
andwentt oopent hedoorf ort helit
tl
eSot obe.
Hecamebackcar ryinghi mi nhi sarmsandhe
toldushewashungr y
.It ookhi mt othe
bathroom andbat hedhi mt henchangedhi m
i
ntof reshcl otheswhi leVi ccal ledhissi stersto
comeandchange.Wet
henwentt
odi
nnerat
thedi
ningar
ea.

Vi
ctor
:YoloandIar
egett
ingmarr
iedandwe
wi
llal
ll
iv
eunderthesameroof
.
Zama:congr
atul
ati
onsdad,
I’
m happyf
ort
he
twoofyou
Theother skissedmeandhuggedt heirfather.I
canseehappi nesswr ittenint hei
rfaces.Iwi ll
neverforgetthisdaywhent hepastandpr esent
connectedt ocr eateabr i
ghterfutur
e.Nev eri n
mywi l
destdr eamsdi dIt hinkIwoul dbelievein
theafterl
if
eunt ilami raclehappenedi nf rontof
myey esandal atebr otherl ookedforhisl ong
l
osttwi nandf oundhi m andnotonl ythatbuthe
senthim myway .Whoam Inott obelievet hat
theLordhaspl annedmyl i
feev enbeforeIwas
born?Thismeanst hatIwasmeantt omar rythe
fi
rstbornofMrSi bi
yawhet heritsSaneorVi c
andnowIhav eVi ceatingf rom thepalm ofmy
hand.Wef i
nishedeat ingt henwentbackt oout
rooms.Igotacal l from Sinesi phoandshej ust
want edt otalkandwhenIt ol
dhert hatVi c
proposedshepr act icall
yscr eamedonmyear
thatIhadt omov et hephonef rom myear .I
under standthatmyf r
iendi shappyf ormebutI
neverexpect edherr eaction.Ial socal ledShaka
andhet oldmet hatheknewt hatVi cwasgoi ng
toproposecozt heydi scussedi t.Ihav eto
admi tthatit’
sst artingt osi nkinandI ’m on
cloudni ner i
ghtnow.WhenJohncal ledt otell
met hatmom i soutofhospi talhecoul dsense
thatmyhappi nesshasnot hingt odowi th
mommydear estbutsomet hingel se.It ol
dhi m
aboutt heengagementandhewasov erthe
moon.Becauseoft hest ateofmyf ami l
yhehad
tomar r
yhi sgi r
lfriendatt hemagi strate’scour t
andIcannoti magi nehowt hatf eelsf orhi m but
atleasthi swi fel ov eshim.Mom wi l
l spendt i
me
witht hem unt ilshei sstrongenought ost ayon
herownbecauseshei sadamantt hist imet hat
shei snotgoi ngbackt ohermonst erhusband.I
j
usthopeshemeansi tcozi t’shight imeshe
enjoysherl i
fe.Ican’ tev eni magi newhatshei s
goingt hroughbutIknowj usthowi tf eelst o
l
eav eital lbehindandst artaf resh.Al lshe
needsi scour aget odoi tandt akethef irststep.
Counsel l
i
ngwi llhelpherbi gt i
mej ustl ikei tdid
tome.Inowf eel l
i
keacompl eteper sonunl i
ke
thatbr okenwomanIwaswhenIl eftJames.
What ’sirri
tatingaboutdadt houghi st hatev en
thoughacasehasbeenopenedagai nsthi m,
therehasbeennoar r estmade.May bei tis
becausehei st hest at i
oncommanderi nt he
veryplacewher et hecasewasopened.Wel lhis
ti
mewi l
lcomej ustli
keJamesgott oser vehis.
Asf ort hetwobl i
ndl adi esIj usthopeIcanbea
fl
yont hewal landwat cht hem st ruggl ewi t
h
everydayl ifeasIdoubtt hatZanel ewi llhav et he
patiencet onur sebot hoft hem.I fIwasher ,
I
woul dhav el eftt hatfami lyal ongt i
meagobut
shei sagr eedysonofagunwhoi sal way s
l
ooki ngf orgreenerpast uresandIt hi nkshe
nowr evelsi
nt hef actthatshei si nchar geof
theirfinancesast heycan’ tdoany t
hingf or
themsel ves.Ihat echancer sl i
keherandhav e
nor espectf orpeopl ewi thnodi r
ect ioninl if
e.
Befor ewesl eptIcal l
edaunt yandt ol dher
aboutmyengagementandshest artedpr aying
ont hephone.I tlooksl ikeI ’m surroundedby
crazypeopl eandIcan’ tr unawayf rom it.The
bottom l i
neist hatev eryonei shappyaboutt hi
s
engagement .Iki ssedhi m goodni ghtandwent
tosleepwi t
hZamacozal ltheot herki dswant
tosleepwi t
hhi m.Hei samagnett ochi ldren
andheador est hem.Wat chinghi mi nteractwith
thesel it
tl
ecr eatur esjustwar msmyhear t
.
Around11Icoul dn’tsleepbecauseof
excitementandt hewaymyr ingsi t
sonmy
fi
nger .Iwokeupandwal kedoutt ot helounge
area.Wear eoccupy i
ngaf ami l
yr oom wi tht wo
bedr oomsandl ounge/ kitchenet tear ea.Ij ust
satont hecouchi nt hedar knessanddi dn’t
evenbotherswi tchingont het el
ev i
sion.Iwas
l
ostinthoughtmymi ndwonder ingtot hetimeI
fi
rstmetSaneandhowst ranget hewhol e
scenari
ofeltatf i
rst.Ourlov egrewf astand
soonwewer elikeoneper sonsonsy ncwith
eachother’
sf eelings.Thi
si smywayofl etti
ng
goofonechapt erandopeni nganewonewi t
h
thesamebl oodbutadi ff
er entface.Theman
l
ov edmebey ondwor dsandpastdeat h.Ilove
myf i
ancéebuti t’sonlybefitti
ngt hatIoffi
cial
ly
l
etgoofSane’ smemor ythebestwayIknow
how.Thisisfory ouSot obe:

Lov
efr
om bey
ond

Cleani
ngthedustf
rom t
hebookcaseof
memor i
esinsi
demaheartbr
ingaheart
ysmi
l
e
totheli
ps
Thefi
ngersautomati
cal
l
ytouchi
ngtheli
pst
o
rel
i
vethatver
ylastki
sswesharedbef
ore
depar
ti
ng
Themindpl
ayingtr
ickswi
thmeassuddenl yI
feel
thef
amil
iarcar
essofhisexper
ienced
hands
Gl
idi
ngknowingl
ythrought
hesacr
edf
oldsof
t
hatint
ri
cat
eartthatismybody
Awakeni
nganeedinsi
dethati
slessurgenty
et
fr
ight
eni
ngl
ydemandingofful
fi
lment

Ami ndi
satri
ckytoolt
hatwit
houtnoti
cenow
takesmetothebanksofourfav
ouri
te
unnamedri
ver
Wit
hitswater
scl
earenoughtomir
rorour
f
eeli
ngsforonet
otheotherasweholdhands
Takingastr
oll
andsometi
mesbreaki
ngint
oa
l
ightjogsowecanchaseeachot
herl
ike
chi
ldren
Singi
ngalongwit
hthebi
rdsast
heychantt
hei
r
undecipher
abl
esoundi
ntoasweetsong
Shar
ingbreadandcheesewhil
elyingi
nour
pi
cni
cblanketwhisper
ingsweetnothi
ngst
o
oneanot
her

Wi
thoutt
hecarei
ntheworl
dwej oi
nthe
matr
imoni
alcommuni
tyl
ikevet
erans
Surpr
isi
ngeachotherev
ery
daywi t
hli
tt
let
okens
ofourreasonf
orbeingt
ogether
Shari
ngst
olensmoochesl
ikeschool
kidsj
ust
tokeept
hesparkbur
ningbri
ghter
Waki
ngmeev er
ydaywithwordsofloveanda
st
eamingcupofmatrustedr
ooibostea
Thenducki
ngintot
heshowerwi
thmischi
efin
hi
seyes,count
ingt
heminut
esunti
lIj
oinhi
m

Eacheveni
nghel
ist
ensat
tent
ivel
yasIrel
ate
mydayandIdothesameashet akesme
thr
oughhis
Nevert
aki
ngeachotherf
orgrant
edasthatwi
ll
br
ingawedgebetweenus-hi
swordnotmine
Fi
ndall
hisjokesfunnyy
ethisfr
iendsi
nsistt
he
onl
ythi
ngfunnyishimtryi
nghardtobefunny
Bef
oreIpackthememori
esbackintheircaseI
gi
vethem hear
twar
mingtenderembrace
Theonewhogavethem t
omemi ghtbegone
for
everbutl
i
vesi
nmet hr
ought
hebeautif
ul
memor i
es
Andwhensadnessengul
fsmeIfeelhi
svoi
ce
urgi
ngmeon,andIknowIwaslovedtofor
ever
andbey
ond
[
05/
02,
21:
34]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose

Chapt
er55

Iwassodeepi nt
omythought
sthatIdi
dn’
t
evenhearVi
ctorcomeoutofhi
sroom unt
ilI
fel
thi sst r
ongar mswr aparoundmei nawar m
embr ace.Heputmyheadi nhi
schestandl et
mer estmyupperbodyonhi storso.Wesatl ike
thatinsi l
encej ustlist
eningtoeachot her’
s
heartsandIr ealisedthatmomentt hatthe
decisionImadet omar rythismanwast her i
ght
one.Hei ssensi ti
veandknowsj ustwhatIneed.
May beiti sthebondt heyshareast winsbutt he
similari
tiesinthei rcharact
erissor efr
eshingly
sexy.Hepul l
edupat hrowandcov eredusas
wesatt herewi thoutacar einthewor l
d.

Me:
Ilov
eyouVandy
oucompl
eteme

Iturnedmyheadandgav ehim akiss.Itwas

goingtobeapeckbutforsomer easonwhile
turni
ng,myboobgotexcit
edandescapedt he
entrapmentt
hati
smyni ghtdress.It’
sabarely
therenumbersoIunder
standt heexcitement
anduponseeingtheuni
nv i
tedguestVi c’
skiss
gotdeepandhi stonguedidabitofexplorat
ion.
Itwasn’
tlongbeforeIwasst r
addledontopof
him whi
lehegent l
eremov edthel
itt
lebarri
er
betweenus.Heputhi shandsonmyundi esand
Iwasembar rassi
nglywet.Holdyourhorses
Yolocomeon! !!
!
Hei swear ingpyj
amabot t
omsandnot hingat
thet opsowhi ler
emov i
ngmyl astpieceof
clothingher emovedhi sbot t
omsi naswi f
t
mov ement .Iexpectedhi mt ogl i
dei nsi
demeas
I’
m al r
eadyaccessf reebutMrKhumal ohas
otherpl ansandhei si nnohur ryjudgingbyhi s
pace.Hegent l
yturnedmesot hatIcanf acesit
onhi m andsuckhi m att hesamet ime.Heheld
mybut tcheeksandst artedlickingmef r
om
behindwhi leIgavehi m head.Juni ori
salready
rockhar df rom al
lthisexci t
ement .Hisfi
nger
dippedi nt omyasswhi l
ehi st ongueexpl ored
mycooki ej arandIst artedt r
embl ingf r
om all
theexci tementandmyt orsoshotup
unex pect edlyandIcamei ntohi smout h.He
heldmyt highst osupportmet hengent l
e
turnedmeandl aidmeont hecouchandputmy
l
egsar oundhi swaistandsl owlyandgent l
y
enter edme.Thei nt
ensit
yofi tallgotme
apol ogizi
ngf orBokoHar am andOsamabi n
Ladi nasi fI’
mt heonewhosentt hem t
o
perfor m allthoseat r
ocit
ies.Hekeptati tunti
l
webot hr eachedourcl i
maxt henhecar r
iedme
tothebat hroom andwet ookashower .Wegot
dressedandhet ookmet obednextt oZama
andl aidbehi ndmeunt i
lIwasdr owsy.He
whi speredi ntomyearbef oregoingbackt ohis
room.

Vi
ctor
:Il
ovey
out
ooLol
o

Iwaslef
tsmil
i
ngi nt
ot hedarknessasheexi
ted
ther
oom.Icanstil
lfeelhiminsi
demeasIl i
ein
bedmissi
nghim andwi shi
nghewasher ewit
h
me.Myphonebeepedandi twasatextf
rom
him conf i
rmi ngt hatwef eelthesameway .The
foll
owi ngmor ningIwokeupabi tl
ateand
every onewasbat hedandchangedi ntofr
esh
clothesexceptmybabywhol ookedasdr owsy
asIam butt heki dsneedourat t
entionsowe
quickl ytookashowert ogether,steali
ngkisses
thereandt here.Weal sochangedt henwent
downt obr eakfast .AfterbreakfastShaka
arri
v edwi t
hhi sf irstbor nHugoandweal lwent
toUshakaMar i
nef orapl aydate.Iaskhi m how
hef eelsaboutt wosonsandhet ell
smet hathe
i
sov ert hemoonbutSi nowant sadaught erso
theywi l
l t
ryagai nwhenJuni orist wo.Wowour
fami lyisgr owi ng.Theydr oppedmeathi s
housesoIcanspendsomequal itytimewi t
h
herandf ussov erJuniorofcoz.Sheadmi r
ed
myr i
ngandIcanseet hatshei sgenui nel
y
happyf orme.

Si
nomtha:Doyouseehowwonder ful
Godis?
Youdi
dn’twantt
ofal
lpregnantbutdi
dn’
thav
e
aprobl
em bei
ngamot hert
oSane’sdaught
er
nowtheLordhasblessedy
ouwithtwomor e
andoneofyourver
yown.Iseehappinessi
n
yourf
acethough
Me:Iwon’
tli
eandsayI
’
m nothappybecauseI
am.Hemakesmehappyandmyki dsadore
hi
m
Sinomtha: Ihavetoadmitthatatf
ir
stIthought
hewast oogoodt obetruebutShakalovedhim
thefir
stt i
meandhei sagoodj udgeof
character.I
’m happyforyouli
lsi
s
Me:thanksSi
noandI
’
m happyf
ory
ourbundl
e
ofj
oy

Wesatt herej
ustgossipi
ngabouteachot her’s
l
iveslol
.Yeswear ethatbori
ngcozwedon’ t
havealotoffri
endsandwepr efertobecl ose
toourmen.Wewer egivenstr
ictinstruct
ions
nottocooksowej ustsattherebei ngbeautiful
andplayingwi
ththehandsomel it
tl
eman.Ki ds
j
ustbr ingasmi l
etomyf aceandmakeme
happy .Theycamebackl ateintheaf ternoon
andt heybr oughtdi nnersoweat ethenVi ctor
hadt ot akehisdaught ersbackhome.We
boughtZamaanewphonet henIsai dgoodby e
tot hem andpr omi sedt ocal lthem of ten.They
l
eftandwhent heirf athercamebackwehadt o
l
eav easwel l
.Wesai dgoodby et oourf r
iends
andl ef t.Wemetaunt yatt heai rportandweal l
fl
ewout .Oneofhi sguy sfetchedusf rom the
air
por tandt ookushome.Heal socamet omy
houseandsi nceit’sal readyl atewej ustwent
straightt obed.Asal way s,I
’m sidelinedasLu
want st osleepwithVi ctor.Thandodi dn’ tgi
v e
uspr oblemst houghandwentst r
aightt oher
room.Whenmyboyf ellasleepweputhi mi n
hiscotandwef i
nal lyhav eourt ime.Ther e’
s
nothi ngIwantmor et hancuddl ingandwaki ng
upnextt othisgent l
emannextt ome.The
fol
lowi ngdayheof fer edt otakeThandot o
school andIl ef
tthem andr ushedt owor k.After
thebr eakf astrusht hough, Idashedt othe
pharmacyf oremer gencycont racept i
onandan
i
njection.Ineedt hatthreemont hinj ectionas
ourrel ati
onshi pi stooy oungt oev ent hi
nk
aboutt hepi tt
erpat teroflittl
ef eet.WhenIgot
backt owor kItookapi ctureofmyengagement
ri
ngandsenti ttoSt he.Shei sstil
l atRi char d’s
bayasshewant edt ospendt i
mewi thher
family.Shecal ledimmedi at elyexcit edatt he
news.Thi si sonewomanIt rustaft erSinomt ha
ofcoz.Thef unnyt hingnowi sthatIdon’ tknow
i
fVi cissupposedt opayLobol aashi sbr ot her
paidf ort hemer chandisebutnev ergott ousei t
andi fhedoes, wher ewi l
lhepayseei ngast he
recept i
oni nEastLondoni snotasi tusedt obe.
May benowt hatmom f i
nallydeci dedt ol eav e
thatmonst erforgood, wecanhav eahome
again, nott hatIwantanyasI ’m happywi t
hj ust
mychi ldrenbutev eryoneneedst hei rroot s.
Whenwef inall
yf i
nishedourshi f
tIdr ovet o
Thando’ sschool andf etchedhert hendr ov e
home.If oundaunt yaloneandshet oldmet hat
Vicl eftwithLut ot heof fi
ce.Theset woar eli
ke
glueandIwonderhowhei sgoingt owor kwi t
h
achi l
dinhi sof f
ice.Any wayIneedt ospeakt o
aunt yaboutmyconcer nsandhearherv i
ews.
Shet oldmet hatinAf r
icananci entt radit
ion
whenahusbanddi esandhehasabr other,the
brot hercant aket hewi feashi swi thoutpay i
ng
extraf orlobol abutwi t
hVi ctor’
scasei t’s
differentbecausehedi dn’tknowaboutt he
brot her.Idecidedt ocal lgrandpai nEast
Londont ot estthewat ersandsur pri
singlyhe
soundshappyandcheer ful.Het oldmet hati t
’s
upt oVi ctorwhathewant stodobutf r
om t heir
sidet heydon’ texpectany thi
ngasSanehad
paidev ery
thing.Thi sisani nter
est ingt ur
nof
event sbutasmygr andfathersaid, it
’sallupt o
MrKhumal owhathewant st odo.Aunt yhas
alreadycookeddi nnersowewai tedf orthemen
tocomebackbef oreweser veev eryone.It ook
ashoweri nthemeant imeandhel pedmy
daught erwithherhomewor k.Theyfinall
y
arri
v edafter6andLui ssodirt
ywi t
hi cecream
stainsandev enVi ctor’
swhiteshir
tisamess
buthedoesn’ tseem fazedbyallthi
s.Hegoes
tothebat hroom andt akesabat hwithLuand
whent heycomebackIser veeveryone.Iclean
upwi t
hThandot henwepr ayedandwentt obed.
Ididn’tknowhowt otackl
ethissubjectsoIjust
keptqui etaboutit.

Vi
ctor
:I’
vespokent omyuncl esbabeandt hey
wantt
hecont actnumber sofyourf
ami l
y
membert oaskf oradatefornegot
iat
ions.Even
i
fit
’syourbrotherIreal
l
ydon’tmind
Me:Iwill
giveyoumygrandf
ather’
snumbers
butSanelepai
dLobol
aandgransay saccor
ding
totr
ait
ionyoudon’
thavetopaylobol
aforme
Vi
ctor:
Iam myownmanandaMnt ungwaso
asmuchasSaneismytwi
nbrother
,weare
di
ff
erentpeopl
eandmybl
oodhasbeenbought
bytheKhumalos.Il
ovey
ouandIneedt
obe
proudtobey
ourhusbandbypay
ingwhat’
s
expect
ed
Me:
thanky
oumyl
ove

Nowthatt
heconfusi
oni
scl
ear
edIf
eel
li
keI
cansl
eeppeacef
ull
y
[
05/
02,
21:
34]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose

Chapt
er56

Thef ol
l
owi ngdaywhenIwasget t
ingr eadyfor
workVictoraskedi fIcanenqui reatThando’ s
schoolandseei ftheycan’thav espacef or
ZamaandBuhl efornextyear .Ipromi sedhi mI
will
dot hattodayaftermybr eakfastrush.He
tol
dmehewi l
ldropThandoatschool andIlef
t
them.Thi ngsarehecticasthehot el i
sf ull
y
bookedt hesedays.Af t
erthebr eakfastr ushI
drov
etot heschool andt hepri
ncipaldi
dn’tgive
meanypr oblems.Heagr eedtotakethem and
gavemef ormst ofil
l.Iwasleavingtheoffice
whenIremember edt hatmyphonehasbeenof f
si
ncelastnight.Iswitcheditonandone
messagecamet hroughandi twasf r
om
Zamantungwa.I twasonl yonelinebutitgave
meshivers.

HELPMEMOM!
!!

Ical
ledVict
orandhi sphonewentt ovoicemail
.
Iwenttohisoffi
ceandwast oldthathei s
meetingacli
entbutdi dn’
tsaywher e.This
messagewassentar ound11l astnightandI
don’
tknowwhati tmeansorwhathas
happenedbutal otofscenarioswentt hrough
mymi nd.Idr
ovehomeandaskedaunt yt o
comewi t
hmet otheai r
portsothatshecan
comebackwi ththecarandf et
chThando.I
call
edwor konmywayandexpl ainedt henof f
toDur banIf lew.Iknowt henameofherschool
butIhav enev erbeent heresoIgotacaband
googl edt hedi rections.It r
iedVi ctoragai nand
sti
llhisphonei sof f.Wegott ot heschool andI
askedt ospeakt oZama.It oldthem t hatIhav e
beensentbyherf atherandt heywentt ocal l
her.
Whenshesawmeshet hrewher selfatmeand
j
ustcr ied.Wewentt ositinthegar denandI
tri
edt ocal m herdownbutsher efusedt osay
anythingandj ustsai dshemi ssedherf ather.
Couldi tbet hatt hi
smani sabusi ngt hem and
that’
st her eal reasont heywantt ost aywi th
thei
rf at her?It ri
edev er yt
hingbutshedi dn’ tt
alk.
Igav ehermycr editcar dandt oldhert hati f
somet hinghappenst heyshoul dgot ot he
nearesthot el andgi vet hehot elmynumbert o
author iseuseofmycar d.Ididn’twantt ol eave
herbutt heschool shav en’
tclosedandIwon’ t
beal l
owedt ot akeherasIam notont he
school ’sl i
stofguar dians.Ineedt ospeakt o
Victorbutf orsomer easonhi sphonei sof f
todayandt hisisf rustratingme.Ican’ tl
eav e
them atal l
.Whenourt imewasupIwentt o
booki ntoahot elandcal ledacarhi ret o
organisemeacar .Ineedt obear oundi ncase
somet hi
nghappens.IsentZamaat extt otel
l
herwher eIam bookedandi t
’snotf arfrom
thei
rhome.I ’m goi ngoutofmymi ndandIhav e
noideawhatI ’
m deal ingwi thher e.Ical led
auntyandshet oldmet hatVict orandLu
haven’ tcomebackf rom wor ksoIt alkedt omy
daught er.It
’salreadyaf ter5somay bet heyare
ont heirway .Itookanapandal i
ttl
eaf t
er6pm I
receivedacal l fr
om t hef rontdeskt hatt wogi r
ls
arelooki ngforme.Iwentdownandf ound
ZamaandBuhl ewai t
ingf ormewi t
habi g
suit
caseandt heirbackpacks.Ihuggedt hem
andt ookt hesui tcaset henweal lwentupst air
s.
Buhlel ooksokandev enexci tedbutZamai s
anot herstory.Shei sjumpyandscar edev en
thoughshet ri
est oactcool .Pleasedon’ tletmy
f
ear
sbet ruecozIdon’
tknowhowl
ongi
twi
l
l
t
akeforhertoheal
.

Me:
doy
ouwantt
otal
knana?
Zama: I
’
mf i
neaunt
ybutmom l ef
tuswit
hher
boyf
ri
endandsonsoIt houghtweshoul
dcome
andstayher
ewithyou
Me:
wher
eisshe?
Zama:shewentonat
ri
pwi
thherf
ri
endst
oSun
Cit
yforaweek.
Me:
sodi
dyout
ell
any
onet
haty
ouar
eleav
ing?
Zama: Mel
usiistheonewhosaidweshouldgo
befor
ehisfat
herar r
ivedandhesaidhewil
ltel
l
hi
mt hatdadfetchedusandheev enhel
pedus
pack
Me:I’
m gl
adyoucameher
esowhenar
eyou
f
ini
shingy
ourexams?
Zama:
Buhl
eisdonebutIwi
l
lfi
nishonFr
iday
Me: I
’
llspeaktothepri
nci
palandseeifIcan’
t
takeyouwi t
hmel at
eonFridayt
heny ourf
ather
canfetchyourresul
tsandtr
ansferl
ett
erslat
er
Zama:
hashef
oundaschool
forusy
et?
Me: y
ouwi
l
lbeat
tendi
ngThandol
wet
hu’
s
school

Isawaghostofasmi l
eonherf aceandi t
warmedmyhear tthatshet rustsmeenought o
feelsafewi t
hme.Vi ctorcal l
edandt ol
dmet hat
hefor gottoswitchhisphoneonaf terthe
meet ingashewasent ertaini
ngl i
ttl
eman.He
wassoshockedandhur twhenhehear dwhat
happenedandaskedt ospeakt oZama.They
tal
kedf orawhi l
eandIgav et hem spaceand
wentt ot hebedroom.Whenshef ini
shedshe
gavet hephonet oBuhl eandcamet ositwith
me.Iaskedherwhatt heywoul dliket oeatand
shet oldmet hatshewant stoeatpi zzasowe
wait
edf orBuhletofini
shhercal l
.Whenshe
wasdonesheal soopt edf orpi
zzaandwe
order edtheirfavourite.I’
m notapi zzaperson
butf orthem Iwi llsacrif
ice.Ourpizzaarri
ved
andweat ethenweal l
bat hedandt hat
’swhenI
reali
sedt hatIhav enochangeofcl othes.How
cleverofme.Ij ustwor et hehotelgownandt he
girl
swentt obedwhi leIwat chedabi toftv.
Around9Vi ctorcal l
edt of i
ndouthowIam and
i
ft hegi r
lsareal ri
ght.

Me:Theyar
enowsleepi
ngbabeandBuhle
seemsokbutI
’
m worri
edaboutZama.Sheis
j
umpyandabitscar
ed.
Victor
:Icoul
dn’tgetafli
ghtfortoni
ghtbut
tomorrowI’l
lbethere.I
’
v eal
readytol
daunty
andIwi l
lcamewi thNelecozhei smyshadow
thesedays.Thanky ousomuchbabyf ordoing
thi
s.Ireal
lyappreci
ateit

I
nthemor
ningIt
ookt
hem t
oschool
thendr
ove
totheshopst obuyaf ewi temsandt oi
letr
iesI
willneed.Igotbackt othehot el andJohn
calledtot ellmet hatmyf atherhasbeen
arrested.Thehospi t
alcall
edt hepol i
cewhen
theylear ntt hatmom wasbeat enupsoaf ter
muchdel ayhehasbeenf inall
yar rested.Idon’t
careifheget soney earinpr i
sonbutIwanthi m
tobear restedf ort heev i
lhe’sbeencausi ng.
Thatmani shear t
lessandmay bet hi
sisthe
wakeupcal lthatmom needst of inal
lykickthis
guyt ot hecur b.Ithencal l
edaunt yandt oldher
thatI’
llbebackt omor r
owev ening.Itookabat h
andchangedt henwai t
edf orVict ortoar r
ive.
Theyf inallyar ri
vedwear i
ngmat chi ngclothes
andIcoul dn’ thelpbutsmi lewhenIsawt he
cuteness.

Vict
or:Ihopet
hatbast
arddidn’
tlayhi
sfil
thy
handsonmypr i
ncesscozIsweart oGodIwill
ki
llhi
m withmybarehands
Me:Weneedt
ostaycal
mf orhert
obe
comf
ort
abl
eenoughtot
ell
uswhathappened
Vi
ctor
: she’
sonl
y12babeandshoul
dn’
tbe
worr
yingabouthersaf
ety

Thatafternoonwef etchedt hem fr

om school
andwhenherf athertriedt okisshershe
cl
ammedupandIknewt hatmomentt hat
somethingi swr ongev ent houghVicdi dnot
noti
ceany thing.Wewentbackt othehot eland
askedforabi ggerr oom wi thtwobedr ooms.
Vict
orwant edt ot akeanapandaskedhi s
daughterstoj oinhi m andZamahadt hispanic
l
ookonherf acet hatbr okeme.Iheldherhand
andrealisedt hatshei sshaki ng.

Me:
didhedosomet
hingt
oyounana?

Shej
ustgav
eusabl
ankst
areasi
fshei
sfar
awayandIur gedVictortot aket hecarkeysso
thatwecandr i
v et
ohospi talandhav eher
checked.I ’
m prayi
ngallthewayaswedr i
ve
thereandr eali
sedthattherewasar easonfor
VictorandIt omeet.Itwasf ormet osav ehis
daught erfr
om thatmonst ercoznowshef eel
s
betrayedbyt hemalespeci esandf i
ndcomf ort
i
nt alki
ngt ome.Lor dprotectourchi ldr
enfrom
thesecr uelmenanduncer taint
ies

Wher
ear
ethechi
l
dren?

Thepl
aygr
oundsar
eempt
y,sl
i
desdeser
ted
Empt
yofl
aught
ermor
ningandnoon
Got
tadosomet
hinganddoi
tsoon
Wher
ear
ethechi
l
dren,
thei
nnocentchi
l
dren?

Concent
rat
iondi
stur
bedbyechosofsi
l
ence
Soeer
iei
nmyear
sthesi
l
enceoft
he
pl
aygr
ounds
Cr
ueltyoft
hei
rbr
other
sdr
ovechi
l
drent
o
mothers
Cr
yingoutl
oudbutwhocar
esaboutt
hem?

Thei
rhear
tsbl
eedi
ngf
rom t
ort
uresofv
ult
ures
Vul
tur
esamongusbutwhowi
l
lpr
otectus?
Can’
tgotopl
aygr
oundst
hei
rinnocencei
s
snat
chedout
Playgroundsar
eempt
ysowher
ear
ethe
chil
dren?

Wi
tht
hei
rpr
idegonet
heyar
ecoi
l
ingt
omot
her
s
Thei
rtr
ustbr
oken,
brokenbyt
hei
rpr
otect
ors
Thepant
slooseev
ent
othei
rangel
s
Angel
sofpai
n,pai
nfr
om t
hepl
aygr
ounds
Ourpl
aygr
oundshav
etur
nedt
oabedof
vul
tur
es
Vul
tur
esi
npl
aygr
oundsl
oomi
ngamongus
Ourf
ather
sandbr
other
staki
ngourf
utur
e
Ourt
rusti
sbr
oken,
bodi
esar
etor
tur
ed
Wear
ethechi
l
dren,
afr
aidoft
hepl
aygr
ounds

(Let
’sli
stent
oourchi
l
drenanddoev er
ythi
ngto
prot
ectthem.Thi
spoem i
sforal
ltheabused
chil
dren)
[
05/
02,
21:
35]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose

Chapt
er57

Wearriv
edi nhospi
talandbythi
sti
meshewas
shaki
nglikealeafandherfat
herwasseet
hing
withanger .Iputherheadonmyl apwhil
eI
brushedherback.Wet ookherinandherf ather
explainedwhatwewant edandwewer etaken
i
ntoanexami nationroom.Sheaskedt hather
fatherwaitout sideandIwenti nwithher.The
doct ordi
dal lthenecessar yt
estsandthenleft
ust hereforaf ewmi nutes.Ihel
dherhandwhi l
e
shesatt herel ookingscar ed.

Me: y
ourfatherl
ovesyounanaandwi l
lnever
hurtyou.Hewantstoprotectyouandyouhave
totel
lhim whathappened.Youmeanev er
ythi
ng
tohim andhewillmovemount ai
nstoprot
ect
you
Zama:
hewon'
thur
tmel
i
ket
hatmandi
d
mommy ?
Me:Vi
ctori
sthebestf
atherev
erandhewi
l
l
nev
erhurtafl
y
Zama:
canIt
ell
daddywhathappenedt
hen?
Me:Iwouldlovethattoomypr i
ncess.Letme
cal
lhi
m.Remembert hatVict
orisnotthe
monsterbuttheonewhol ovesyou
ShenoddedandIgav eherahugbef oreIwent
tocal lVictor.Hewasr el
ievedwhenIt oldhim
thatshewant stospeakt ohi m andwenti n
l
eav ingmewi thBuhl eandl it
tleman.I
remembert hef i
rstt imeImetherwhenI
comment edt hatshewasabi tshyandher
fathersai ditwasst rangebecauseshei s
normal lyal i
vewi re.It houghtmay bei t
's
becauseshewasn' tusedt oal lofus.Anot her
war ningbel lwaswhenshepr eferedt osleep
withmewher easVi calway stoldmet hather
daught erspr efert osl eepwi thhimt hef i
rstday
ofeachv isit
.Webot ht houghtshel i
kedmeand
nowi t
'sclearasdayt hatitwasadesper atecry
forhel pbutwewer et oopr eoccupiedwi thhis
healtht hatwef ai
ledourdaught er.Whathas
thi
smandoneandwi l
lthedamagebe
permanentorr epai rable?Iwasgoi ngoutofmy
mindandt hedoct orcamet ositwi t
hmeand
gavemenumber sofchi l
dpsy chologist
sin
CapeTown.Het oldmet hatfrom nowonwe
needtomoni torherev erymoodandencour age
hertotal
k.Iwant edVi ctortobet heonet otell
mewhathappenedt ohi sdaught ercozIdidn'
t
wanttobet r
ayhist r
ust .Thewai tseem abi t
l
ongerbutwesatt hereandIt r
iedt oenter
tain
mylitt
lepeopleast heyar egett i
ngcranky.At
l
asttheyemer gedhol dinghandsandwewent
str
aightt
ot hepolicest ati
on.Thi sonealsotook
l
ongeruntilmyangel scompl ainedabout
hunger.
ItextedVict
orandtoldhimt hattheki
dsar e
hungr yandthatIam t
akingt hem forabi t
e.He
textedbacktosaytheyar ecomi ngout .When
theycameoutZamacamet ohugmet hen
grouphuggedhersi bl
ingst henweal lwalked
outt othecaranddrovestraighttospur .We
orderedfoodbutmi netastedl i
kecardboard
andIdi dn'
tknowhowt ohidemyf r
ustrati
on.
Victorheldmyhandundert hetabletoreassur
e
me.If edmyboyev ent
houghIcouldseethat
hepr efersVictortome.Wefini
shedeatingand
l
eft.Theki dsleftusint
heloungeareaandwent
tothebi ggerbedroom tosl
eep.Heheldmy
handandl ookeddown.

Victor: t
herewassexbutt her
ewasno
penet rati
onatleastnotf rom hismanhood.He
hasbeent ouchingherf orsomet i
meandwhen
shet oldhermot hershet ookherphonef r
om
heraspuni shmentandshout edatherfortryi
ng
tobr eakherupwi t
hherman.Fewweeksback
hegothernakedandt ookav i
deoofherwhile
touchinghert hendidsomepr etendsexby
gri
ndi ngonherwi t
hhisexposedmanhood.
From t henonwar dshef ingeredherthenwhen
shesenty outhattextitwasbecausehet ri
edto
enterherbutMel usisawhi m andthr
eatenedto
callthepol i
ce.
Isuddenl ygotsi ckf r
om di sgustandr ant othe
bathr oom t othrowup.Whoi sthi
smanand
howsi ckcanbebe?Whatki ndofmot her
believesherboy fri
endabov eherchi ld?I fthat'
s
thecaset henwhydi dshel eavet hekidsal one
wi t
ht hemanwhoi snott heirfather.Ir i
nsedmy
mout handwentbackt oj oinhi m.Hei shur tand
frustratedandIaskedi fhehascal l
edt heir
mot her .Shedi dn'tpickupwhenhet r
iedt ocal l
butt hemostdi st urbi
ngt hingi sthatt hisisnot
thef i
rstt i
meshehasl eftt heki dsalone.She
hasl eftthem wi t
houtadul tsuper vi
sionbef ore
andwhent heycompl ainedsheusedt ot ell
them t hatshehast oldt hem al ongt i
meagot o
staywi tht heirfather.Ift hati snothear tl
ess
thenIdon' tknowwhati s.I tpai nsmet oknow
thatshehadt ogot hroughal lofthatwhenher
daddycoul dhav etakent hem i n.Ididn' treali
se
thatIwascr yi
ngunt i
llhewi pedthet ear saway .
Forsomer easont hisbr oughtbacksupr essed
memor iesf r
om t heJamesper iod.Wewentt o
bedandwentpastt heirr oom.Ihadani dea.For
Zamat ost artfeel i
ngcomf ort
ablemay bewe
shoul dallshar eabedt henshewi ll r
ealiset hat
notal lmenar eliket hatmonst er.Theyar e
sl
eepi ngsopeacef ullywi ththeirbr otheri nt he
middl e.Wegoti nt obedwi thourki dsandi
couldntsl eeppr oper lybecauseIwokeupev ery
secondchecki ngt heki ds.Thef ollowi ng
mor ningwet ookt heki dst oschool thenwent
pastt hepol i
cest ationt ochecki fther e'sbeen
anyar restandt heyt oldust hattheboy friend
hasbeenar r
est edandhi ssongav et hem t he
l
aptopt hathasal lthei ncr i
mi nati
ngev idence.
Thisi sabi gr eli
efandnowwecant aket heki ds
homet obet hemsel v esandnor mal again.That
aft
er noonwef etchedt hem f r
om school and
fl
ewout .Wewi l
lhav etoconsul toneoft hese
psychol ogistsgi venbyt hedoct ori nDur ban.
Wear ri
vedi nCapeTownanddr i
vet omyhouse.
Thandi i
ssohappyt oseeusbutIneedt or unto
workandexplai
nwher eIwas.Heof fer
edto
takemether
eandhei ssorelaxed.Iwentt
o
seethemanagerandexpl ai
nedwher eIwasbut
hewaswayt oounderstandi
ngandj ustsmil
ed
andtol
dmet orelax.

Manager: youmightnotknowaboutt hisbut

youfi
anceeownst hi
sandtwoot herhotels.He
doesn'
tlikepeopletoknowthatheist heowner
andprefertokeepal owprof
il
e.Atleasty ou
metlongbef or
ey ouknowabouthiswor t
h.He
cal
ledmeandt ol
dmet hatyouwentt osav ehi
s
daughter

Looksli
kether
e'salotofthi
ngsIdon'
tknow
aboutMrKhumal o.Iwentbackt
ohim and
huggedhimthenwedr ivehome.
[
05/
02,
21:
35]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose
Chapt
er58

IstaredatMrMi ll
ernotsur ei fIheardhi mr ight.
Iknowaboutt hehot elsheownsi n
Mozambi quebutIdi dn’tknowt hatheal so
ownst hisaswel l.Hesawt heconf usiononmy
faceandt oldmet hatheboughti t5y earsago
whent heownerwant edtol eavet hecount ry.He
thenr enov at
edi ttot hebeaut yitistoday .This
i
swhyt hecar et
akerdi dn’thav eapr oblem
openingmyr oom f orhim wayback.I ’m glad
thatIgotmyj obbef oreIgott oknowhi m andI
respecthi mf orkeepi ngitqui etuntilnowt hatis.
Ithankedt hemanagert henl eftandf oundVi c
waiti
ngf orm att hef oyer
.Ihuggedhi m andwe
wentt ot hecar .

Me:
thanky
ouf
ort
ell
i
ngMrMi
l
lerwher
eIwas
Vict
or:i
t’
sthel
eastIcoulddoaft
erever
ythi
ng
youdidformychi
ldren.If
eelsol
uckyri
ghtnow
babecozasmuchasIknewt hatyouloveme,
youhaveshowedmey ourcompassionat
esi
de
anddamnwoman, Il
ovey oumoreforthi
s

Ididn’ tknowwhatt osayaf t

ert hissoIki ssed
him andwedr oveof f.Wegothomeandaunt y
andt hegi rlshavealreadysett het able.Wesat
downt oeatandaf terdinnerIwentt omy
bedr oom andt ookoutt hepr esentIboughtf or
aunt yt woweeksagoasat hanky ouf or
every thingshehasdonef orme.Mysoni s17
mont hsol dnowal lthankst oherandshedi dit
withanopenhear t
.Herf acel i
tupwhenshe
sawwhati tisandIdon’ tcar ehowexpensi v eit
i
sbutshedeser vesthis.I t
’saweekt ripto
Mozambi quewi thaf ri
endandav ideocamer a
tocapt ureeverythi
ng.Tr ut hist hatIcan’ tthank
herenoughandwor dsf ai lwhenIi magi net he
sacrificeshehadt ogot hroughwhenshe
defiedherol derbrothert obewi t
hmeandmy
chil
dr en.Sanel e’
sfami lyhasbeent heref orme
andIcan’ tt hankt hem enough.Thegi r
ls
cleanedupt henwepr ayedandwentt osleep.
Thef oll
owi ngdayIdi dt hel aundr yandhel ped
aunt ytopackhert hings.Shei sf i
nal lyleaving
usandi t
’sabi ttersweetoccasi on.Int he
afternoonwet ookhert otheai rportandshel eft
ami dthet earsf rom mychi ldren.Theyhav e
grownsousedt oher .Wet henmov edt o
Victor’
shouseandspentt heaf t
ernoont here.I
l
ikehowNel ef oll
owshi m ar oundl ikeal ove
struckschool girl.Wej ustchi lledont hepool
deckwhi let heki dspl ayi nt hewat er.Nel est i
ll
can’tswim butZamat ookhi m wi thherand
gav ehiml essons.WhenIwant edt ocook, Vic
toldmet hatwewi llorderdi nner .Asl ongasi t’
s
notgoi ngt obePi zzat henIwi llbef ine.When
theygott iredtheygotoutoft hewat erand
camet ojoinus.Theywant edpi zzabutwe
want edseaf oodsoweor der edpi zzaf orthem
andseaf oodf orus.Wet oldt hem t ot akea
showerwhi l
eIbat hedNel e.Thef oodar r
ived
andweal lat
e.Wewillsl
eepher
etodaycozI’
m
notgoingtoworkonSundays.Weprayedt
hen
putthekidstobedandwenttosl
eep.

Vict
or:babeIwi
llsendoneofmyguy s
tomorr
owt ogotoy ourgrandpar
ent
stogi
ve
them t
helett
erf
ornegot i
ati
ons
Me:Thanky
ousomuchbabe.Ir
eal
l
y
appr
eci
atet
hat

Iwasr ewar dedwi thakissthenwedi dthe

hankypankyandwentt osl
eep.Wewokeupt he
followingdayandgotr eadyforchur ch.The
headoft hef ami l
ydroveust ochur chandthe
ser vi
cei supl i
ft
ingandbyt het i
met hechur
chis
ov erIam i nhighspi r
it
s.Wewentbackhome
andat el uncht henIgav eVictorthenumber sof
thepsy chologistaswecannev erignorethe
elephanti nt hehouse.Wewer etaki nganapin
theaf ternoonwhenhegotacal landanswered
i
t.Hetal
kedforawhi
leandIcouldtel
lwithouta
doubtt
hatit
’shi
sexwif
e.Heendedt hecalland
wascursi
ngunderhi
sbreat
hclearl
ypissedoff.

Vict
or:shehasthener vetotell
met hatherman
i
sar espectabl
eper sonandcouldneverdo
whatweaccusehi m ofandwhenIt ol
dher
aboutthevideosshesay sit’
sasmear
campaignandsomeonei souttogether
boyfr
iend.Howr espectablei
samanwhohad
anaffairwi
thamar r i
edwoman?
Me:hol
dupbabyareyout
ryi
ngtosaythatshe
hadanaff
airwi
thhi
m whi
l
estil
lmarr
iedtoyou?
Vict
or:that’
sexactl
ywhatI’
mt el
li
ngyouand
eventhoughshecheat edImadesuresheli
ved
acomf ortablel
if
eaftert
hediv
orcefort
hesake
ofmychi ldrenbutt
hisiswher
eitends
Me:cal
m downVy
ouwi
l
lgi
vey
our
sel
fahear
t
at
tack
Vict
or:Iwil
lcal
m downwhenshegetsarr
est
ed
fornegl
igenceandendanger
ingmychi
l
d

Hei stooangr ytor easonsoIwi lllethim bebut

thisthingisr eall
ybr eakingmyhear t.Wewent
tocheckont heki dsandt heyar epl ayi
ngxbox
i
nt hegamesr oom.Thi sishowki dsshoul dbe,
carefreeandhappynotwor ri
edaboutmenwho
can’tcont r
ol theirli
bidos.Ihav etogobackt o
mypl aceandpr eparef orwor kthoughsoIsay
goodby etoev eryoneandl eftwithThandocoz
Lusanel erefusedpoi ntblankt oleav ewithme
andIcoul dseet hatVi ctorishappywi thhis
refusal.Idon’tunder standhowhewor kswit
ha
l
ittl
eshadownextt ohim butt hat’showhel i
kes
i
t.May bemyboyi slearningt heropesf r
om
Victorsot hatwhenhei soldhewi llopenhi s
ownbusi nessl ol.WegothomeandIi ronedour
clothesf ortomor r
owt henwepr ay edandwent
tosleep.Iwokeupt hef ol
lowingdayt onews
thatZama’ smot herhasbeenar rested.This
call
sf orcelebrati
onbutt hat’sforanot herday .
Todayshest artswi thcounsel li
ngandIknow
that’
snotaneasyepi sodeasi topensup
woundsbutatt heendoft hedayi thel ps.The
courtcasei sonWednesdayandweagr eedt hat
Victorwillgowi thhi smot herandIwi llstay
behindwi ththechi ldren.Atl eastauntLi zzyi s
arounddur ingthedaysoI ’
m notwor ried.Aound
l
unchVi csentmeamessaget osayt hathi s
messengercamebackandt heygav emeadat e
i
near l
yJanuaryf ort henegot iati
ons.Wewi l
l
tacklethatwhent het imecomesbutf ornow
weneedt oconcent rateont hecase.Vl eftl at
e
onTuesdayandIsl eptinhi shouse.Thandoi s
closingthef ol
l
owi ngdaysoIhav etof etchher
reportandpayr egistrationf orallthreeoft hem.
Ithendr oppedherwi t
ht heot herst henwent
backt owor k.Byt het imeIknockedof fIwas
toot i
red.Icall
edVt ofindoutaboutt hecase
andhewassodownbecauset hecasehas
beent hrownoutduet olackofev i
dencel ike
how?I’
vealwaysknownthatt
hej
ust
icesy
stem
i
sshit
tybutthi
stakest
hebacon
[
05/
02,
21:
36]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose

Chapt
er59

Iwillnev erunder st
andhowt hej usti
cesy st em
wor kscozt herei saney ewi t
nessandev idence
butnowt heysayt heycan’tuset hev i
deosi n
cour tforsomer easonort heot her.ThewayI
seei tIthinkt heywer eei t
herbr i
bedort heyf ear
theguyashei sapol it
icaltopdog.Ev erydog
hasi t’
sdayandIhav enodoubti nmymi ndt hat
hewi l
lgetwhat ’
scomi ngtohim.I ’
mjustgl ad
thatZamagotoutwhenshedi d.Whoknows
whatt hismancoul dhavedonehadshest ayed?
Victorcamebackl aterthatafternoonandbot h
hisgi r
lshav epassed.Buhl ewi llbedoi nggr ade
4wi thThandowhi leZamawi llbedoi nggr ade7.
I’sohappyf ort hem andwet aket hem outt o
dinner.NowIdon’ thav eapr oblem wi t
hl eavi
ng
mysonasIhav ethreesi ster st olookaf terhim
andt here’salsoauntLi zzy.Idr opthem of fat
Vic’splacei nt hemor ningsot hattheycanhav e
adultsuper vision.AuntLi zzywi ll
hav etogeta
raisecozl ooki ngaf t
er4ki dsi snochi l
d’splay.I
stil
ldon’tbel i
ev ethatIwor kf orVictorbutI
hav enopr obl em becauset hepayi sgoodand
thewor kingcondi ti
onsar ef av ourable.Ireall
y
hav enocompl aintsev ent houghourwor khas
nohol i
daybutwecant akel eav ewhenev erwe
feel.I
’mt akingmi neont he22ndofDecember
andwi llcomebackont he5t hofJanuar y.I’
ma
fami l
ywomanandneedt obewi ththem dur i
ng
thehol i
day s.Theyknewt hatwhent heyhi r
ed
meanddi dnothav eapr obl em wi ththat.My
kidsarehav i
ngagoodt i
meanddur i
ngt he
weekt heysl eepatt heirf ather ’
shouset henon
weekendt heycomet omypl ace.I’vealso
got t
enusedt ospendi ngweeksathi shouse
andweekendsonmi ne.Igotacal lfrom uncle
Thembat ell
i
ngmet hatSanel e’sfatherisoutof
hospital.Hehasdi f
ficul
twal kingandhi smout h
i
st wisted.Howt hemi ghtyhasf all
en.Bothhis
wifeanddaught erarebl i
ndandi fhedoesn’ t
seethatasawayt ochanget henhewi l
lnever
seeit.Hei sanintel
ligentmani fhewasn’ tso
greedyandnowhecan’ tdoany thingforhimself
,
l
etaloneenj oyhismoney .Hei sashadowof
himselfbutIbelieveit’
snott ool ateforhimt o
seethel ight
.Thelord’sdoori sal waysopent o
Hischildrenbutweneedt oaccepthi mi nt
oour
l
ivesf i
rst.It
hankeduncl eandt oldVictorwhat
hejustsai d.

Victor:
babeIhav enev erint
roducedy outomy
fri
endsbecauseev er
ythinghappenedsof astso
Iwilli
nvit
et hem ov eronSaturdayandy oucan
alsoinvi
teSi nesi
phoandKhay akazi.Icall
ed
them immedi at
elyandt heypromisedt ocome.
Wewi l
lentertai
nt hem athishouseasi tis
biggerandhasabi ggerbackyardforkidst o
play.OnFr idayaf ternoonIwentpastt heshops
andboughtaf ewst ufft hengothomeand
starteddi nner .Myf r i
endsar r
ivedl ateonFr iday
andIgav et hem directionst oVi ctor ’
shouse.
Whi l
ewai tingf orthem t wocar sdr ov einandi t
wasVi ctor’sf ri
ends.Hei ntroducedmet ot hem.
Bukhosi from Jobur g,St anleyf rom Capet own
andhei scol ouredt henMbusof rom Dur banbut
hehasbusi nessesar oundCapeTownaswel l.
Hei scl osert oBucozt heygr ewupt oget her
andev enat tendedt hesameuni versit
y .My
fri
endsar rivedaswel l andIi ntroducedt hem.
Theyhel pedmet ol ayt het abl eandweser ved
every one.Wesatdownt oeatt henIgav ethe
menbeer swhi let
hegi rlspr eferredwi ne.Weset
outsidei nt heent ertainmentcov eandj ustgot
toknoweachot herbet ter .Around10Iwentt o
checkt heki dsandt heywer eal readyasl eepi n
theirbedr oom whi lelit
tlemani stuckedi n
Victor ’
sbed.I ’mleav i
ngwi t
hmyf riendsandt he
girl
swer esupposedt ol eavewi thmebutIcan’ t
waket hem upnow.Thebedr oomsf ort heboy s
arer eadysoIwentt omymanandt oldhi mt hat
wewi llsleepher e.Ican’tleavemychi l
dr enher e
andbesi des, mygi r
lsar ehavingagoodt ime.
Hewasj usthappyt hatI’m notl eav i
ngashe
didn’tunder standwhywehadt ogot omy
house.Iputf r
eshsheet sintheot herbedr ooms
andshowedt hem wher et heywoul dsleep.We
fi
nallysl eptaroundmi dnightandmymani s
nicelydr unk.Weal lknowhowl ov ingdr unkmen
canbeandmi nei snoexcept ion.Wewokeup
around8andImadebr eakfastf orev eryone.We
allatet henwentt ot hebeachj ustt ohav ef un
witht hechi l
dren.Wehadl unchatoneoft he
restaur antsthenboughtmeatandst uffforan
afternoonbr aai.Iplacedanor derf orpl at t
er son
Thur sdayandt heywer edeliveredl at ethat
afternoon.Theki dst houghonl ywant edPi zza
andIor deredt wof orthem.Theywentt othe
theat retowat chmov i
eswhi l
ewemar inatedt he
meat .YesVi ctor’
shousehasani neseat er
mov iet heat r
ei nst
al ledandi t’
ssoundpr oof .
Thesal adswer edel iveredwi tht hepl attersso
wedon’ thav et oli
f taf inger.Theboy slitthef i
re
whi l
edr inkingt heircognac.Theydon’ twant
beertodayandIdon’ tar guewi tht hem.Si nceI
hav eknownhi m hedoesn’ tdr inkexceptf orthe
occasi onal glassofwi neatdi nnerbuthet old
mehedr i
nksespeci al l
ywhenhei swithhi s
fri
ends.Wear eplay i
ngdeephousemusi cand
RalphGum andCl apt onear et heor deroft he
daywi thabi tofCul oeher eandt here.When
theydel iveredt hepi zzaIt ooki tt othegi r
ls.
Neleont heot herhandi ssi t
t i
ngwi t
ht hebi g
boy ssippi ngonhi sj uice.Thi sonet hi
nkshei s
Victor’sageandnowVi c’sfriendsandhi st oo.
Weenj oy edourdi nnerout si
dei nt helapat hen
wenti nt ot hebarj ustt ochill.Wesl eptj ust
after10t oday .Ihav et oadmi tt hatIenj oy ed
my selft hisweekendandhi sf riendsar eeasy
goingpeopl e.Mbusoi sthet alkat iveonewhi le
theot hert woar elaidbackl ikeVi c.The
foll
owingmor ningaf terbr eakfastwehadt osay
goodby et ot hem ast hel eft
.Wet hankedt hem
forvisi
tingandpr omi sedt odoi tagai n.John
call
edt osaymom i sdoi ngwel l andthatdadi s
outofj ailforsomer easonandt heycan’ tfind
hisdocket .Hei sast ationcommandersowhat
didIexpect ?Day swentbyandIi nvit
edSt heto
spendChr istmaswi thus.WespentChr istmas
atmypl acewi t
hmyf ami lyandi twasaj oy ous
occasion.Fornewy eart houghmymant ookus
toJozini tigerresor ttounwi ndandhav e
massi vef un.Wehadt ocomebackont he3r d
thoughasweneedt opr eparef orthe
negot i
ations.I ’
l
l bef l
yingt oEastLondonon
Fri
dayt opr eparef ormyguest s.Iwi l
lleav ethe
gir
lswi thSt heasVi ctorwi l
lgowi thhisf ami ly
toELev ent houghhewon’ tbepar tofthe
proceedi ngs.Iwi llgowi thNel ecozhewi llgi
ve
Victorheadacheasheneedst opr eparef orthe
negot i
ations.Hi suncl esandcousi nwi llarriv
e
onThur sday .Icleanedt hehouseandchanged
sheetsthencookeddinnerforthem.Iwi l
lbe
sleepi
ngatmyhousebutVi ct
oraskedmet o
dazzlethem wi
thmycooki ngskill
s.Iwas
supposedtoleaveat6becauset heirfli
ght
arri
vesat7soasIwasput ti
ngf i
nishi
ng
touchestothemeal acardrovein.Victorwent
tocheckwhoi ti
sandcamebackwi t
htwomen
whoIassumedwer ehiscousin.

Cousin1:Rush!
!!
!!smallwor l
dhey .Iwondered
whereyouwenttoonl ytofindy ouhere.Youare
onenaughtybuggerVic.Messi ngwi t
ht he
prost
it
utewhil
ewepr eparingfory ourlobol
a.
Youstil
ll
ooksmoki nghitgirl

AtthatverymomentIwantedtheeartht
oopen
andswal l
owme.Will
hisfamil
yacceptmenow
thattheyknowmypast?Thisl
ifeIchose
though!!
!!
[
05/
02,
21:
37]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose
Chapt
er60

Iwasshockedandembar rassedtosaythe
l
eastbecauset hi
sishisfamilyandtheymight
havecertai
nstandardsforwhattheywantin
wivesandnowVi ccomeswi thanexprost
itute
whohappenst ohavet wochildr
en.Howwill I
evererasethi
sRusher afrom mylif
eandhow
wil
lthesemenev errespectmeaf t
erwhatthey
know.
Vict
or :Gentl
emeni fyouwillal
lowmet odo
i
ntroduct i
on.Lol othesearemycousi ns
SpheleleandJake.Guy sthisismyf uturewif
e
Banoy oloNyat hiandthemot herofmyson.I
askedhert ocookdi nnerbecauseshei sa
professionalchefandIt houghti twouldbenice
tosurpriseyouwi t
hasumpt uousmeal .Asfor
herpastIwi llnotcommentont hatbecauseall
ofushav epast swear enotproudof .Lucki
ly
formeIknowherpastbecauseshet rust
edme
enoughtotellme.Iwil
lnott
oler
atepeopl
ewho
disr
espectherinherhouse.
Wewer eal lshockedbyhi sresponseandj ust
keptquiet.Iwentt ofinishattheki t
chenthen
tookmycarkey sandl eft
.I’
m shakingwi t
hfear
anddon’ tknowi fIwillgethomesaf e.Ist
opped
thecart hengotoutandsatont hepav ement.
HecalledmeandIj ustignoredhiscal l
.Aft
era
whileacarpul l
edupandi twasVi c.Iwasjust
sit
ti
ngt heretry
ingt oconsol emy selfandcalm
downbef or
eIgethome.Hecamet ositnextto
meandhuggedmef r
om t heside.

Vi
ctor
:thi
sisadanger
ouspl
acenanapl
easel
et
medriv
ey ouhome.

Hetookmyhandandledmet ohiscar
.Hewas
wi
thSphel
eleandIwasgladthatt
heyl
eft
motormout
hJakebehind.Hegavemykeyst
o
him andaskedhi mt of ollowusunt ilwegott o
myhouse.ThemomentIgott here, myspi ri
t
l
iftedwhenIsawmynewbabypar kedi nf r
ont
ofmyhouse.Ihadcompl etelyforgot tent hat
theysai dtheywillbringi ttoday .Igotoutoft he
carandwenti nside.Theguy swer esi ttingt here
wi t
hSt hewhi l
etheki dswat chedTV.Isi gned
ont hedot t
edl i
nesandt heygav emet hekey s.
I’
veal wayswant edabi gcarandt hisFor d
Rangerj ustdoesi tforme.I t ’
stimet ol etgoof
thepol obutIdidnott r
adei tinasi twasagi f
t
from mydearShaka.Mybabyi nspect edt hecar
thenhuggedme.Theyhav et ogocozt heyar e
fetchingtheirunclesf r
om t heai r
por t.He
promi sedtocal l
mebef orehesl eeps.Igot
i
nsi deandwentt ocheckt heki ds.St he
suggest edthatweeatoutt onightt ocel ebr at
e
mynewsetofwheel s.Wechangedandwentt o
themal l
.Thekidsar enotchoosi ngt he
restauranttodaybecausei t’smyday .Wehad
ourdi nnerandenj oyedi t.Weonl yl eftaf ter9
andbythetimewegothome, l
it
tl
emanwas
sl
eepi
ng.Itookhimtobedandwesai dapr ay
er
andwenttosleep.IwaswokenupbyVi ct
orand
whenIcheckedthetimei
twasjustbefore11.
Hehashiskeysoheusedi t
.Hegotintobed
nextt
omeandhel dme.
Heisangry,i
nfactheispissedof
fandIcan
feel
itinhi
stouch.It
urnedaroundandhi
seyes
arered.Whatcoul
dbeeat i
nghim up?
Me:
tal
ktomebabe,
what
’sgoi
ngon?
Vi
ctor:
myunclesref
usedtogofornegot
iat
ions
af
terJaket
oldthenabouty
ourpast
Me: whatIdon’
tunderstandiswhyisheso
bother
edabouty ourl
i
fe?t heycan’
tchoosewho
youspendt her
estofy ourli
fewit
h
Vict
or:exactl
ymypointLolo.Idon’
towe
anyoneany t
hingandi
ftheythinkIwon’
tmarry
youthentheyaremistaken.Theycangotohel
l
foral
lIcare
Me:
mustIcancel
thenegot
iat
ionsf
orSat
urday
?
Victor
:li
keIsaidt
oy ouearl
i
er,not
hingwill
stop
thismarri
age.Thenegoti
ati
onswil
lcarryonas
plannedbutIcan’
tbeunderthesamer oofas
them.
Ihuggedhi m andputhi sheadonmychestand
brushedhisheadunt ilhefellasleep.I ’
l
lnever
understandpeopl ewhopoket heirnosesi n
otherpeople’sl
ives.Al lheev erwant edwasf or
hisfamilytostandi nforhi m andr epresenthi
m
buttheychoset obedi ffi
cult
.Whatt heydon’t
knowi sthattheyar ealienati
nghi m.The
foll
owingmor ningImadebr eakfastf or
everyonethenaf tereatingwet ookashower .
Het ookthekidsandl eftwiththem andt ol
d
Sthethathewi llbri
ngt hem backl atet hat
evening.IgotreadyandSt hedr oppedmeatt he
air
port.IgottoEastLondonandhi redacar
thendrovet omygr andpar entshouse.Ibought
twol i
vesheepont hewayandgr ocer i
es.Igot
thereandt heygott heboy stoof fl
oad.Oneof
thesheepwi l
lbesl aughter edtodaywhi let he
otherwi l
lbesl aught eredf orourv i
si t
or stot ake
i
tbackt oCapeTown.Iboughtt wocool er
boxessot hatt heycancar rythemeati nthem.I
wenti ntogr eett heel dersandt her eisanai rof
excitementi nt hem.Mybr othercalledt osayhe
i
sonhi swaywi thmom andwi feandwant sto
knowwhatt heyshoul dbuyandIt oldt hem t hat
I’
veal readyboughtev erything.Theyf i
nal l
y
arri
v edandonesheepwassl aughtered.He
suggest edt hatt heot hershoul dal sobe
slaught eredandkepti nthef reezerov ernight.
Thef oll
owi ngmor ningwewokeupear l
ywi t
h
somewomenandst artedl unch.Oneoft hem
madebr eakf astandar ound11ourguest s
arri
v edimpeccabl edressedi ntail
oredsui tsand
It
alianshoescar ryingsilverbr i
efcases.I t’
s
uncleThemba, Siphelele,Bukhosi andMbuso.
Theyar ewear ingdar ksungl assesexceptf or
unclewhoi swear i
ngpr escr i
bedgl asses.They
areusher edi nandatt hatmomentIr espect ed
thef ri
endshi pbet weenVi candBukhosi ashe
hast of l
yfrom Jobur g.Iwast oldtogot ot he
bedr oom andwai tunt ilIam cal l
edi nt
ot he
l
oungear ea.Af terawhi leIwascal l
edi nand
askedi fIknowt hev isit
or s.Thenegot iations
carriedonf orsomet imeandwewoul dhear
l
aught erf r
om t i
met ot i
me.I twasn’ tlongbef or
e
theyt oldust heywer edonesowesett het able
andcal ledt henegot iatorst olunch.Johnt ook
thecool erboxesandf il
ledt hem wi thmeat
befor et akingi ttot hem att hedi ningr oom.
Aftereat i
ngt heyonl yhadt wogl assesof
whiskeyeachbef oret heyl eft.Icoul dn’tbel ieve
thatit’sal lov erandcal ledVt ot ellhim
ever yt
hi ng.Iwast hencal l
edi nt otheliv i
ng
room andgr andpagav emeal l t
hemoneyand
toldmet hathedoesnotneedi tast heyhav en’
t
usedt hef i
rstone.It riedt ogi vemom someand
sher ef usedi tandsai dImusti nvestitf ormy
childrenasshehasenoughmoneyofherown.I
cleanedt hedi shest hent heguy sstartedt he
braai.I’
ml eavingtomor rowmor ni
ngwi t
hVi ctor
cozt heyar ealsosleepingatHemi ngsway .The
guy swer edri
nkingandenj oyi
ngthebr aai.We
sleptlateandIhadt obet hefir
stonet owake
upaswehav eanear l
yflight.WhenIwasdoneI
saidmygoodby ethendr ov etotheairport.They
wer ealreadywai t
ingformesowef l
ewoutand
foundhi sguy swai t
ingatt heairport
.Uncl e
ThembaandBukhosi hav egonet oDur banand
Johannesbur gr especti
v ely.

Vi
ctor:Theki
dswil
lbebackl at
ert
oday.Theyal
l
wenttoDurbantovi
sitShakacozSinomtha
missedNeleandThando
Wet hendrovetohishouseasIdidn’
twantto
stayinanemptyhouse.Whenwegoti nwe
wereshockedtofindhisunclesandJake
si
tti
ngattheloungewatchingTVwhileaunt
Li
zzyiscookingbreakf
ast.Thisi
sstr
angecoz
auntyneverworksonSunday s.
Vi
ctor
:Ididn’
tasky
out
ocomet
owor
ksi
sLi
whathappened?
Lizzy:yourcousindemandedthatIcomehere
at6t odayandcookpor ri
dge.Ihadtocleant
he
houseasi tlookedli
ketherewasapar t
yas
therewer ebott
lesever
ywhere.Iam doi
ng
breakfastnow
Victor
:youcangoaunt
y,Lol
owill
takeitfr
om
here.Babepl
easemakebreakf
astforever
yone.

Het ookoutaf ewR200notesandapol ogi

zed
toherthencal l
edheracab.Imadebr eakfast
foreveryonet henputever
ythi
ngont hedining
tabl
e.Imadej uiceandcoff
eeforthosewho
wanti t
.Ithenwentt othesit
ti
ngroom and
greetedev eryoneandaskedthem tocomet o
thediningr oom.
Uncl
e:ar
eyout
heonewhocooked?
Me:
yessi
rIdi
d
Uncl
e:t
henI
’
m sor
rybutIcan’
ttouchy
ourf
ood.
Vict
or:sui
tyoursel
f.Funnyenoughy oucouldn’
t
getenoughofherf oodonThur sday.Guyslet’s
gotothediningroom andhav ebreakfast.
Every
oneelsewhowon’ teatmywi fe’sf
ood
bett
erpackyourbagsandl eav
er i
ghtnow
Theylookedateachotheri
ndi sbel
iefwhi
le
Victor
,SpheandMbusof ol
lowedust ot
he
di
ningroom.Af ewminuteslaterJakeappear
ed
atthedoorlooki
ngcl
earlypissed.
Jake:
soy ouwentaheadandpaidlobol
afora
sl
utwhohassleptwithyourcousi
nandawhole
l
otofotherguy
s?
Vict
or:i
tlookslikey ouhav eforgottenmeJake.
Thisismyhouseandt hesoonery ouleavethe
bett
er.Youkeepf orget tingthaty outoldSphe
aboutthatnightandy oucoul dn’tgetitup.Stop
tal
kingshitorIwill
t eachy oumanner sboy .Lol
o
i
smywi f
eandt hemot herofmyki ds.Getoutof
myhousebef or
eIr ear rangey ourface.
Hetri
edt or
esistbutVicwastoofastand
chokedhisneck,pi
nninghi
mt othewall.Sphe
remainedst
il
lwhileMbusotri
edtosepar at
e
them.Eventheunclescameinandsepar ated
them
Uncl
e:youkeepforget
ti
ngthatwedon’
teven
knowwher eyoucamefrom asmybrot
her
coul
dn’thavechi
l
dren.Nowonderyouare
marr
yingahooker
Vi
ctor
:Bef
oreIcountt
o3Iwantal
lofy
oul
ow
l
iv
esoutofmyhouse
Hedashedtotheki
tchenandr
etr
iev
edhisgun.
Theyr
anoutofhishouseandbythi
sti
mehe
wasseethi
ng
[
05/
02,
21:
38]Ki
ngKunt
a:Thi
sli
feIchose

Chapt
er61
(
Shor
tchapt
er)
Youknowt
hosei
sol
atedsi
tuat
ionswher
eyou
fi
ndhumourwher eyounotsupposedt o?Wel l
thi
sishowIf eelri
ghtnowwhi lewat chingJake
andhisunclesrunningf ordearlif
e.Victoron
theotherhandisclearlypissedandhi sf ri
end8
Mbusoi str
yingtocalm hi m downwhi leSphei s
ascalm ascucumber .Whatt y
peoff ami lyi
s
thi
sandt r
yasImi ghtIj ustcouldn'
tst op
l
aughing.Thatmusthav egot t
entoVi ctorcoz
hestoppedhi sangryrantandst artedlaughing
too.Mbusost oodtherei nshockpr obably
wonderingwhatisgoingonwi t
hus.Heshook
hisheadandwentbackt ohisbreakfast .

Mbuso:y
ouguy
sar
eaper
fectmat
ch,
Igi
veup
onyou
Vict
or:butser
iousl
ydudedidtheyhonestly
thi
nkIwouldshootatthem?Iwantedthem out
ofmyhousecozIwon' tletany
onedisrespect
mywi f
e
Sphel
ele:
sonowy
oubel
i
evewhenIt
ell
yout
hat
Jakei
sjeal
ousofy
ou?
Victor:Inevert
houghthewouldgothi
sf ar.I
seriouslydonotneedthem inmyli
feespecial
ly
aftertheytoldmethatI'
m notpar
toftheir
fami l
y.WellIhavemyfamilywit
hyouguy sand
thatuncleThembai saGodsent
Mbuso: Idon'
tknowmuchaboutyourwifeman
buthercookingisj
ustoutoft
hiswor
ld.You
canstartyourcat
eri
ngcompanyandIwillget
youlotsofjobs
Sphel
ele:shecanmakei
taneventscompany
cozherhouseisni
cel
ydecor
ated.Di
dyoudo
thaty
ourself
?
Me:Ididandt
hanksguy
sfort
hev
oteof
conf
idence
Wef ini
shedbreakf
astandIcleanedup.Imade
l
unchf orthem t
henaft
erlunchwet ookSpheto
theairpor
tandsaidgoodbyetoMbuso.Vi ct
or
thankedthem agai
nforcomingatsuchshor t
noti
ce.That'swhat
'sfr
iendsdo.Wedr opped
Spheandsai dgoodby etohi m.Wet hendr iveto
myhouseandt ookanap.Wedi scussedt he
typeofweddi ngwewantandwher ewewi ll
havei t.Ican'tbelievet hatIwi llbear ri
edt othis
mani nthreemont hs.Iwi l
lsoonbeMr s
Khumal oandof fi
ciallyamot hert of ourkids.I
wantt womor ewi thVi ctorcozIdi dn'thav ea
normal chi
ldhood.Ij ustwantt obesur rounded
withlot sofki ds.I'
m st il
ltooy oungandcan
haveasmanyaswewant .Sthecamebackwi t
h
thekidsandwer ealizedt hatwehav en'tcooked.
Theyar esohaooyt oseeusandcamet ojoin
usinbed.Zamai sst illj
umpysoshepr efersto
bely i
ngonmysi det hanherf ather.Iknow
therapywi llev entuallyhelpher .Theyt ellus
aboutt heirtimewi thShaka, Sino, Hugoand
Junior.Icall Sinoandt hankherf orentertaining
myki dsandsheaskshowt henegot i
ati
ons
went .Shei shappyt oknowt hati t'
sov erandI
tell
herwhenwewi l
lhav etheweddi ng.Theyar e
theguest sofhonourwi thoutadoubtandIj ust
can'
twaittoseeher
.Ourgoodar
ri
vedandwe
atet
henIbat hedmysonandwepray
edand
wenttosleep.
MybabyandIdeci dedt ohireaweddi ng
planneraswecannotdoev eryt
hinginourown.
Bukhosi camedownev erysecondweekendt o
helpwi theveryt
hingashei sthebestman.
Sinomt haont heot herhandist hehonourabl
e
mat r
onofhonourwhi l
eSi ne,KhayaandZama
arebridesmaids.ThandoandNel eare
ri
ngbear ersandBuhl ewi thbespreadingthe
rosepet al
s.Allourchi l
drenatepartofour
weddingandSt anley,SpheandMbusoar ehis
groomsmen.
Astheweekswentbywegott heinv i
tessent
outthenchosethev enueanddecorandwent
caketasti
ng.I
twasabi thect
icandmydr ess
wascomi ngoutnicely.Weagreedt hataft
erthe
weddingwewi ll
mov ei nt
ohishouseandIwi l
l
convertmineint
oabedandbr eakfast.Inthe
midstofallt
heweddi ngchaoshehel pedme
regist
ermyBnBandev entsmanagement
business.I'
m alway sti
redt hesedaysf r
om
planningandwor kandki ds.ThisSaturdaySi
no
wokemeupear lyandt ookmyt othespawi t
h
NeleandJuni orwhi let
heot her
swentwi th
VictorandShakat ooktheki dstoVic'
shouse.
Weenj oyedourtimeatt hespat henhadour
hairandnai l
sdone.Wet hendr ovehomeand
foundmyf ri
ends,Sthe,femal ecoll
eaguesand
Vic'
sf ri
end'sgi
rlf
riendsinmybacky ard.

Sur
pri
se!
!!
!!
!

Wowi t'
smybachel or
ett
epar t
yandit'
sso
classy.Vict
orarri
vedtotaketheboysthenleft
thegi r
lswit
hus.Ihadagoodt i
meev enifIsay
somy sel
f.Thefoll
owingdaywewokeupl ate
andst art
edcleani
ng.Ourmenar ri
vedandwe
hadl unchthentookthem totheai
rport
.His
bachelorpartywasalsolitashesaidit
.We
drovetohi shousetopickuphisclothesand
whenwear ri
vedwef oundacabpar kedoutof
hisgateandwhenweopenedt hegatea
womanst eppedoutandwalkedin.Vi ct
or
parkedandgotoutoft hecar.Damnbuti got
thesexiestmanev er.

Vi
ctor
:whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
eThembi
sa?
Thembi sa:
asyoucanseeVi
ctorIam 8mont
hs
pregnantwithy
ourbaby
[05/
02,21:
39]Ki
ngKunt
a: Thi
sli
feI
choseadded2newphotos.

Chapt
er62(
Final
e)

Ididn’
tknowwhet hert
ogetoutofthecaror
waitunti
ltheyfi
nishar
guing.WhatIknow
thoughisthatnoonewillstandbet
weenme
andmyVi ctorandwewi l
lmar r
ywhetheral
lthe
exescomeoutoft hewoodwor kspr egnantas
well.Iknowwehav ebeent oget herf oraf ew
mont hsandi t
’spossi blethatthisi shi schil
d
butmyquest i
oni swhywasshequi etallthi
s
ti
me?Vi cleftherandcamet oopenmydoor
andweal lwenti nside.Luckilyformehet ol
d
met hathewasi nvolvedwi thThembi sabefore
west artedgoi ngoutbuthebr okeupwi thher
becauseshewasdr inkingal otandsomet imes
whenhewentt oherf latwouldn’ tgether
becauseshehasn’ tcomebackf rom ani ghtout
withfriends.Wegoti nsideandIwentt ohi s
bedroom t ogethi scl othesbutVi ct
oraskedme
tositdownwi tht hem.

Vict
or:
Lolothi
sismyexgir
lf
ri
endThembi
sa,
Thembisathi
sismyfi
ancéeBanoy
olo
Thembi
sa:Fi
anceeVict
or,r
eall
y?aft
erhowlong?
Wehavebeentoget
herforoverayearandnot
oncedi
dyouevenmentionacommi tmentand
t
henthi
schi
ldcomesal
ongandy
oupr
omi
set
o
mar
ryheraf
teraf
ewmonths
Vi
ctor
:whatIwanttoknowiswhydidn’
tyout
ell
meaboutthi
spregnancyunt
ilnow?
Thembi sa:t
hat’
snotthepoint
.AllIwantyouto
knowi sthatthi
sisyourchi
ldI
’m carr
yingandI
don’tcareaboutyourfi
ancée,
youhav etotake
careofhim orIwill
takeyoutocourtfor
maintenance
Vict
orlaughedthatevi
llaughthatleavesy ou
aski
ngy oursel
fquest
ions.Istheresomet hing
heknowst hatwedon’t?Hisdemeanouri sso
rel
axedforsomeonewhoj ustfoundoutt hathe
i
sgoingt obeaf at
heraweekbef orehis
marri
age.

Vict
or:wil
lthatbebefor
eoraft
eryoutake
Melusitocourt?Don’
tcomeherewithyourhal
f
cookedstoryThembisacozIknowyouhav e
beenstayi
ngwi thhi
m all
thi
sti
me.Ifthi
swas
mychildyouwouldhavetol
dmeal ongti
me
ago.Totakeyououtofyourmi
ser
ywi l
ldothe
pater
nit
ytestoncet
hebabyisbor
n
Thembisa:pleasehelpmeVi cIam desperate.
MelusihastakenmycarandnowIhav ebeen
fi
redatworkf orbeendrunk.Ij
ustneedapl ace
tostayandmay beajob
Victor:
Idon’twanttosoundi nsensi
ti
v ebut
there’
snowayi nhell
Iwoul dhiremyex.What
willmywi fesayandy ouknowIhat emi xing
businesswi t
hpleasure.Gotot hepoliceand
reportyourcarstol
ent henthepol i
cewi lltr
ace
i
tandbr ingittoyou.Idon’tknowwhyy ouar e
sti
lldri
nkingwhileyouar epregnantandi ncase
youhav ef or
gott
en,weal waysusedpr otecti
on

ShelookeddefeatedandVict
orwenttohis
bedroom andt
ooksomecashandgav eittoher
thenaskedhertoleave.It
henpackedafew
clot
hingit
emsf orhi
m andwel ef
t.Wefound
ourgi rlsbusyst udy ingwhi l
eli
tt
lemenwas
colour i
nghi sbookandf loorImustadd.I
quicklymadedi nnerandweal latet henZama
bathedNel eandwepr ay ed.OnThur sdaymy
fami l
yar rivedandwet ookt hem toTabl eBay
hotel thenhi sf ami lyandf ri
endssleptat10
Apost leshot el.OnFr idaywewentf orfacial
s,
mani andpedi cur est hendi dourhai r.We
fetchedmydr essandpr oceededt oTabl eBay
hotel.Lusanel ei sspendi ngthenightwi thVictor
andhecal ledmebef orehef el
lasleept ot ellme
thathel ovesmeandcannotwai ttobemy
husband.Iwokeupear lyandgotr eady .The
makeupar ti
standhai rstyli
star
r i
vedt ohel pus
alllookgood.Ihav etoadmi tt
hatt heki dslook
awesomet henJohncal l
edt osayi t’
st i
mef or
met ogoandmeetmyhusband.Wear e
mar ryingatt hehot elgar denandt hedécori s
breatht aking.Seei ngmymanst andingt here
nextt oBukhosi andhi sgr oomsmenmademe
missast epabi t.Johnhel dmeashei stheone
walki
ngmedownt heai sl
e.Therewasalitt
le
fi
ghtasmygr andfatherwant edtodothi
sbutit
caneitherbeJohnorShakabutnotsomeoneI
j
ustmet .At earescapedhisey esasIwalked
towardshimt hentheot herfoll
owedbyar i
ver
oftears.Bukhositookoutahandker chi
efand
handedi tt
ohi m.Wewr ot
eourownv owsand
thepastorletusreadt hem.

Vict
or:Istandbeforey ouwi t
hnot hi
ngbutmy
heartastheonl ygif
tIcangi veyout hatis
ti
meless.Iaskt heAlmi ghtytogiveuswi sdom
tonavigatethenewj our neyweembar konand
myonl ypromi setoyoui sthatyourIwi l
ll
ove
andcher i
shy outi
llItakemyl astbreath

Hethensli
ppedt
heringinmyfi
ngerwhil
ea
t
earescapedmyeye.Ithent
ookhishandand
l
ookedint
ohispuff
yeyes.
Me: Yourv alueinmyl i
feismor epreci
ousthan
thediamondsi nthisri
ngandIpr omisetokeep
yourhomewar m andrespectyouast hehead
ofmyf amilyandf at
hertoourkids.Iwil
ll
etonly
oneot hermani nt
oourhomeandt hatisthe
LordourGod.Icar ryyourheartinmineandI
wil
lprot ectitunti
lmylastbreath.

Isli
ppedt heri
ngi nt
ohi sfingerandwewer e
pronouncedMrandMr sKhumal o.Heki ssed
meandwomenst ar
tedul ulatingwhi l
emen
whi stl
edinexci t
ement .Wet hent ookpi ct
ures
thenwentt ochangeandat tendedt herecept i
on.
Uncl eThembaandShaka’ sspeechesmademe
cry.Mom camet ohugandt oldmehei spr oud
ofmet hent hefesti
vit
iescar r
iedonunt i
ll
ateat
night.Thef oll
owingmor ningwej ett
edof fto
TrouAuxBeachcombergol dr esortandspai n
thesunnyMaur i
ti
us.Wehav easkedSt heto
stayinVi ctor’
shousewi t
ht heki dsandaunt
Lizzywi l
ltakecareofhousechor esandoneof
Vict
or’
sdr
iver
swi
l
ltaket
hem t
oandf
rom
school
.
Thispl aceisheav enlyandt her ei
sal otof
activit
iestobedone.Wewer et akentot he
honey moonsui teandt herear er osepet alsand
awel comebasketont hepedest al
.Ev erything
aboutt her oom i sr omant ic.Wet ookanapt hen
shower edandt ookawal kt ot hebeach.The
followingdaywewentonat ourbust heni nthe
afternoonwet ookoutt hejetski sandexpl ored
thewat er
s.Ast heday swentbywet ried
ever yt
hingf rom sur f
ingcl assest ohiking,
clubbingandsnor kell
ing.Wewant edt odo
ever yt
hingt hent hedaybef or ewel eftwewent
onaboatcr uiset henhi tt
hespa.Byt het i
mewe
fl
yhomewewer er efreshedandwebought
present sforev er yone.Ourchi l
drenwer ehappy
toseeust hent hef ollowingdayVi ct
ort ookme
tomyhouseandIwassohappyt oseet hathe
hiredsomeonet odor enov ationsandt herewas
evenanameont hegat eformyBnbandev ents
management
.Thi
smant hi
nksofever
ythi
ng
andIst
oodonti
ptoeandki
ssedhim.
Me:
thankyouf
orlovi
ngmeenoughtomake
meyourl
if
epar
tnerandmot
hertoyourchi
l
dren
Victor
:Ishoul
dbet heonethankingy
ou
otherwiseIwasslowlybecominganold
bachelorbutyoucamet hr
oughandsweptme
offmyf eet
.

Wewentt ot hebackandt herewasguest

parkingandast oreroom.Wewenti ntot he
storeandf oundf oldingchai rsandt abl
esand
onest r
etcht entandt hatperforat
edst retcht ent
.
Thismani sr eallyser i
ousaboutmebr anchi ng
outonmyownandIcan’ tthankhim enough.
Theyhav et r
iedt obr eakusupbutt heyf orgot
thatwedon’ twal kal one.Wear epr otectedby
thebloodoft hel ambandnomat terwhatt hey
dot heyhav et ogot hroughHi m andt hisisnot
aneasyf it
.Her ewear eafteralotoft r
ialsand
hurdlesandwear efinal
lyafami lyandwear e
mor ethanj usthappy.Wherey oucomef rom
doesn’tdeter minewhereyouwi ll end.I
ttakesa
wil
lofst eel,l
otsofdeterminati
on, bl
ood,sweat
andabi tofl uckforanyonetoov ercomewhatI
havebutIam t hefi
rsttoadmitt hatitwasn’t
easyy etItoldmy sel
fthatnothingwi l
lst
andin
mywayofsuccessandhappi ness.

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