Ph.D.

Research Proposal
Doctoral Research Program and empirical study in relational psychology (Part I)

Theory
Of Management
In Relationship-Sustainability

Valentino Alily, BFA, MBA (Leadership EQ & SQ)

valentinoalily@gmail.com

Advisors:
Dr. James Mahoney
Dr. Oscar Smith

July 31, 2020

Department of Behavioral Studies
School of Psychology
University of Orville Graduate School
Logan, West Virginia, USA

Concise partial fulfilment of dissertation for Ph.D in Relational Psychology and the application
of CQ, EQ, PQ, IQ and SQ in Relational-Awareness and Relational-Management for
Relationship-Sustainability
 Abstract
The notion that relationships may be based on love, for personal relationships and loyalty,
for business relationships have inadvertently accounted for why sustainability has become an
elusive commodity in relational-management. While intelligences such as CQ, EQ, PQ, IQ
and SQ have crept successfully and effectively into the business relationship lexicon; same
unfortunately cannot be said of the personal relationship lexicon. The aim of this paper is to
respond to three critical questions about management in relationship-sustainability: What is
the role of intelligences in Organisational Management Relationship, how do these
intelligences impact Love Management Relationship and what is the relevance of
Management in Relationship-Sustainability? This paper also touches on the relationship
between cognition, mindset assumptions, the mind-body synergy and relational-awareness in
fostering Relationship-Sustainability.

Keywords
Relationship-Sustainability, Relational-Management, Relational-Awareness, intelligences,
love, business, CQ (Cultural Intelligence), EQ (Emotional Intelligence), PQ (Physical
Intelligence), IQ (Mental Intelligence), SQ (Spiritual Intelligence).

Introduction
Management of relationship in business is the responsibility of the human resources division,
the leadership and key line managers in most corporate organisations. It is so clearly defined
that it is an aspect of Organisational Management. Organisational Management itself is the
process of managing the systems, structures, policies and personnel of an organisation in
ways that provide value to that organisation and assures return on investment. The key factor
that drives Organisational Management in any business is the human factor. Human
behaviour in the workplace is driven by three critical factors: expectations, beliefs and values.
Expectation fosters the need to perform, because performance guarantees reward in form of
remuneration and benefits. Belief creates the rationalisation that generates core value
systems, essential for guaranteeing loyalty. Value, of course, establishes the principles or core
systems necessary for the cultivation of corporate culture. The culture of most organisations
determines the leadership perspective and managerial direction. Leadership is thus based on
the VCM (Vision, Commitment and Management Skills) model, while management is based
on PGR (Performance, Goals and Results) model. So, while leaders set the visionary
perspective with CQ (Cultural Intelligence) and SQ (Spiritual Intelligence) which establishes
integrity, ethics and due process as core values of the organisation; managers drive
performance with EQ (Emotional Intelligence) and IQ (Mental Intelligence) which provide
solutions, achieve results and establish desired outcomes.
This paper argues that while these structures are clearly defined and established as essential
components of Organisational Management Relationship, such structures do not exist in Love
Management Relationship. We further argue that while Management in business relationship
establishes ‗loyalty‘ as its core value for relationship-sustainability, same cannot be said to
apply to ‗love‘ in personal relationship. The word ‗I love you‘ carries with it a weighty
connotation of commitment backed by EQ, SQ and even PQ, but can it have the same
reliability and definitive guarantee of ‗loyalty‘ that Management can establish as in business
relationship? This paper aims to look at that possibility.

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 This paper is divided into four sections. The first section looks at our research processes,
approach and how we arrived at our results. The second section addresses the results of our
research in detail, and the third section looks at the application of our results and their
workability. The fourth section is the conclusion and summary of the whole paper.

Research Objectives and Approach

Our research objective looks at how the intelligences can influence and impact relationship-
sustainability, as well as how management plays a crucial role in relationships. The research
referenced in this paper comes from a number of researchers, including myself. My initial
research which drew from four years of extensive work, including research methodologies
derived from my relationship-sustainability books, The Casanova Principle and The Eve
Appeal, looked at the association between relationship and management, and how this
connection in Love Management Relationship can foster long-term sustainability; as it does
in Organisational Management Relationship. Further research drew on in-depth interviews,
questionnaires, online engagements and video data pooling, with a purposive sample of 50
respondents spread across five countries, viz: South Africa, Malaysia, UK, Nigeria and the
US. 30 of them are in the millennial youth cohort, while 20 are in the Generation-X adult
cohort. The youth cohort included 16 females with a mean age of 22.9 and 14 males with a
mean age 24.3; while the adult cohort included 9 males with a mean age of 45.3 and 11
females with a mean age of 40.4. They came from diverse disciplines: executives, employees,
students, clients and charitable-volunteers. Although most respondents we thoroughly
engaged were from the corporate and schools, we still collated data from some respondents in
healthcare, law, social work, government and religion.
The validation process included identification and mapping of married respondents (from 5
years of marriage to 20 years average), those in committed love relationships (from 3 months
to 2 years), those not in any committed relationships (from 1 month to 3 months), and those
who were divorced. We factored in cultural differences, race, tribe, religion, education,
geographical location, political belief, status, and family influence in our eventual approach
to the research objective.

Results
Our research results showed some crucial link between intelligences and interpersonal
relationships, and this led us to look at four key components of this research. Our result also
showed that at a personal level, issues included managing love relationships effectively, self-
awareness roles in relationships, and willingness to seek assistance in sustainability. At the
emotional level, themes focused more on how intelligences can indeed play essential roles in
relational-management. Our four key components include:

Role of EQ and Relational-Awareness

Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is one‘s self-knowledge, self-awareness, social sensitivity,

empathy and ability to communicate successfully with others. It is a sense of timing and
social appropriateness, and having the courage to acknowledge weaknesses and express and
respect differences (Covey, 2004). EQ does not factor in our intellectual or physical
capabilities. It takes for granted having enough intellectual ability and technical know-how to
do our jobs; it focuses instead on personal qualities, such as initiative and empathy,
adaptability and persuasiveness (Goleman, 1998). It provides us with the ability to self-

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interrogate, self-appraise, and a necessary step to self-awareness. It equally provides an
acknowledgement of others, their feelings and emotion. And emotion drives EQ. Emotion as
responses are always there, ready to be felt. Experience stimulates them. Thinking about
things does too (Bondi, 1984)! But it is how we let this experience form our emotions or
rather how we apply EQ to our relationship with others that is the crucial factor in this paper.
What role does it play in relational-awareness? How does it impact it?
Relational-Awareness is the conscious ability to express an emotional appreciation and
understanding for people we relate with in such a way that fosters mutual respect and value.
In other words, it is our ability to be self-aware of our role and responsibility in a
relationship, in a way that provides both parties with dignity, respect and appreciation of that
relationship. Relational-Awareness places value on relationships. Our research found that
although EQ has significant impact on how relational-Awareness thrived in cohorts, when it
came to personal level, couples had issues managing it in love relationships more effectively.
It was easier to manage it at corporate level, even individually, whereas for love, it seemed
awkward. There was also a sense of lack of self-awareness roles in relationships, equally at
individual level. And for some, the unwillingness to seek assistance in relationship-
sustainability posed a crucial question: do most couples know how to manage their love
relationship?
Our study clearly says, no! When people hear EQ and how to apply it as a management tool
in Love Management Relationship, they think of work and Organisational Management
Relationship. Not personal relationship. Most couples see ‗love‘ as the key arbiter to all
challenges personal relationship can throw at them. But that, unfortunately, is not true. While
the saying that love conquers all, is an everlasting adage; fact is that ‗love‘, requires three
principle elements to function; effectively or otherwise. These three elements are: intimacy,
passion and commitment. Also, for ‗love‘ to thrive, it must, like a business or a career, be
managed properly. Sustainability is achieved through careful management. In a similar vein,
the three elements must be represented in a love relationship for said relationship to be
sustainable. Thus, the first step to applying EQ to gain relational-Awareness is to realise that
there are four basic types of love relationships.
This paper is not delving into C.S. Lewis‘ definition of attributes of love based on his book
The Four Love, in which he posits that Affection (Storge), Friendship (Philia), Love (Eros)
and Charity (Agapē) are the key aspects. We are looking more at psychologist, Robert
Steinberg‘s characterisation of the different kinds of love, where he posits that three
combinations – Intimacy, Passion and Commitment – account for the different paradigms of
love or partnership. Accordingly, he states that Intimacy and Commitment provide
Compassionate Love, which he likens to the first paradigm of love, and Intimacy and Passion
provide Passionate Love, which he refers to as the second paradigm. He goes further to say
that Intimacy, Passion and Commitment, provide Consummate Love; which is the third
paradigm. I however, added a fourth paradigm, which has Commitment and Passion,
providing what I called Affectionate Love. However, with all these diverse aspects of love, it
is not surprising then that it is actually misunderstood and often misapplied (Alily, 2020).
Love then, as experienced from the relational perspective of Compassionate, Passionate or
Affectionate Love, might require much more than just ‗feelings for each other‘ to achieve
long-term sustainability. Why do I say this? Compassionate Love requires two of the three
elements to function, and that is intimacy and commitment. I must point out here that
intimacy doesn‘t just mean having sex or making love. In relationships, it has unfortunately
been arrogated to denote the sexual act; however, it is more than that. Intimacy actually refers
to the state of closeness, familiarity, understanding and confidence between two people in a
relationship or partnership (Ibid). So, although intimacy has EQ as a component of its

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element, it also has PQ as an attribute. Commitment, on the other hand, has IQ as its main
component. Passion, which is driven fully by EQ is absent in this love paradigm. In other
words, a Compassionate relationship enjoys the benefits of intimacy and commitment, but
lacks the spark of passion which is a key driver of success and sustainability. Thus in a
Compassionate relationship, while there is understanding and closeness, as well as a need to
commit to the relationship; there is actually no real drive – no real purpose for sustainability.
Passionate Love, on the other hand, has intimacy and passion as its functional elements, but
lacks commitment. So, a Passionate relationship has EQ and PQ which intimacy brings to the
party, as well as an additional EQ of passion which is the driving force for success and
sustainability. Thus in this relationship, while there is understanding, closeness and a
powerful need to make it work; there is however no commitment by both parties. In other
words, neither party is a stakeholder in the relationship. Affectionate Love, itself has
commitment and passion as elements of the relationship, but lacks intimacy. So, in this case,
although the couple are mutual stakeholders in the relationship through IQ which
commitment brings to the party, and possess EQ which passion brings as well to drive the
relationship to thrive and succeed; they unfortunately do not possess the EQ and PQ which
intimacy brings, so are not close enough nor familiar enough, and have no confidence in each
other to make it sustainable.
Finally, there is Consummate Love which has all three elements, intimacy, passion and
commitment as its functional component. This relationship has EQ and PQ which intimacy
brings, plus additional EQ which passion brings, as well as IQ which commitment brings too.
This according to our research is the relationship everyone aspires to. Not only do these
couple understand and have confidence in each other, but they equally have the drive to make
their relationship thrive and succeed, as well as a committed stakeholding in their
relationship. Research shows that the combined EQ of both passion and intimacy, and the
additional PQ of intimacy, plus IQ of commitment, help stimulate a balancing consciousness
of loyalty and responsibility in couples; in such a manner that it generates a purposive
relational-awareness for the need to manage and sustain their relationship. What this clearly
showcases is that EQ (among other intelligences) has a critical and impactful role in
establishing relational-awareness in Love Management Relationship.

PQ and Mind-Body Synergy

The Physical Intelligence (PQ) of the body is another kind of intelligence we are all
implicitly aware of but often discount. Just think about what your body does without any
conscious effort. It runs your respiratory, circulatory, nervous and other vital systems. It is
constantly scanning its environment, destroying diseased cells and fighting for survival
(Covey, 2004). Our physical body functions like clockwork, without seeking authorisation or
permission from us. PQ manages the entire systems of out anatomy, and it does it effortlessly
and mostly unconsciously. There are roughly 7 trillion cells with a mind-boggling level of
physical and biochemical coordination necessary just to turn a page, cough, or drive a car
(ibid). Doctors will tell you that the body has the capacity to heal itself, and psychologists
have known for some time that our body responds to what we think or tell it – that PQ has the
capacity to function at a mind-body level. Your language affects your body positively and
negatively…obviously, how you feel affects your thoughts and words, but the crucial thing
here is that the body does not distinguish between our figurative and our literal language;
instead it mirrors that which we think or speak (Levine, 2000). How does the body balance
and harmonise the functioning of the brain, which contains the mind, with the functioning of

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the heart, which symbolically represents EQ (Covey, 2004)? Our research results attest to the
fact that the answer to that question lie in PQ‘s ability to generate a mind-body synergy.
I recall that in my Organisational Behaviour and Development coursework during my MBA
programme several years ago, there was a study called The APCFB Psychology Model
framework which analysed ‗why people behave the way they do.‘ The premise of this study
was that Assumptions (A), Perceptions (P), Conclusions (C), Feelings (F), and Behaviour (B)
account for the totality of what we eventually come to acknowledge as our expectations,
beliefs and values and these lead us to often behave the way we do. In other words, The
APCFB Psychology Model posits that events which occur in our lives have a way of being
assimilated by our brain through filters that shield us psychologically from the overall impact
of those events. However, our brain creates perceptions based on said events, which then
generates some form of assumption within us about that event. This leads to an expectation,
as well, and so we begin to form some belief or opinion about the event. What we think
(opinion) then impacts our value system and our mind begins to extrapolate. But, as a defence
mechanism, our mind accordingly analyses all that information and creates the right feeling,
which now emerge from us through another set of psychological filters to effect the desired
behaviour, action, speech or motion. The summary of all that is that PQ and IQ create a mind-
body synergy that provides us with the ability to rationalise our behaviour, action, speech or
motion. So our body doesn‘t just create filters and defence mechanism for the sake of it; it
responds through PQ to information that the brain (IQ) is releasing within the body‘s internal
messaging system, and thus takes the appropriate steps to provide the desired result.
Our research shows that some of the filters and defence mechanisms that PQ provides,
stems from what we generally refer to as ‗intuition‘ or ‗gut feeling‘. It equally stems from
what Gavin de Becker calls The Gift of Fear: Like every creature, you can know when you
are in the presence of danger. You have the gift of a brilliant internal guardian that stands
ready to warn you of hazards and guide you through risky situations (Becker, 1997). ). This
‗brilliant internal guardian that stands ready to warn us of hazards and guide us through risky
situations‘ is PQ‘s way of talking to us; of telling us to ‗stir clear‘ or avoid ‗behaving in
certain ways‘. It is intuitive and works in consonance with EQ, IQ and of course SQ. My
research shows that this ability – this intuitive ‗gut feeling‘ or what the Japanese refer to as,
‗Dai-rokkan‘ – is naturally conscious in females and sub-conscious in males. In other words,
men have to develop theirs, but women simply activate it because of their capacity for
‗holistic-sensing of feelings‘.
This gift of holistic sensing of feelings…of experiencing it completely and totally; provides
the female with the awesome capacity to be able to talk to the body. This is Kuan – the
‗spontaneity of open-attention‘ – the ‗sensing of the unknown before it becomes known‘. And
this spontaneous-sensing is what makes women equipped to ‗discern‘ danger or misgiving
before it is apparent…before it becomes an obvious act. So, you can actually sense the
vibrations of untoward sensations before it manifests around you, but often you tend to ignore
the warning of your gut-feeling or Dai-rokkan (Alily, 2020). Our research results further
reveal that this phenomenon is intuitive and not instinctive. These are indeed two different
experiences. Instinct, is more primal and stimulates the fight or flight sensation in you
through a combination of PQ and IQ connectivity which activates your defence mechanism.
This is your ‗Sixth-Sense‘-ability or what the Japanese refer to as ‗Haragei‘. Intuition, on the
other hand, is more sublime, more internalised and so very feminine in nature, and thus
utilises a combination of PQ, EQ, IQ and SQ connectivity to achieve mind-body synergy
which often ‗warns you‘, rather like an internal alarm system. It activates that ‗small voice‘
which people often talk about – that ‗still voice‘ that discerns danger and tells you ‗don‘t go
there‘, ‗don‘t enter that car‘ or ‗don‘t let him take you home‘. It is your ‗Seventh-Sense‘-

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ability or what the Japanese refer to as ‘Dainana-Kan’ and the French call: ‗Septième-Sens’
(Ibid).
Our results show too that although these intelligences are aspects of the body, the emotion,
the mind and the spirit, they invariably are part of the same functionality when it came to
synergy. It is an inter-connectivity of intelligences which PQ initiates to achieve mind-body
synergy, and although they might all seem different; in fact they are aspects of the same
whole. ‗Psychological and ‗physical‘ and their symptoms (attributes) refer to deferent ways of
talking about the same event. Just as nose and thumb refer to different parts of one body,
mind and body refer to different aspects of the same whole. Every emotion you feel and every
thought you think is also a physical event. Though mind and body are inseparable,
dictionaries often define words such as ‗mind‘ and ‗body,‘ ‗mental‘ and ‗physical,‘ and
‗psychic‘ and ‗somatic‘ as antonyms or opposites. Actually they are functionally inseparable.
(Levine, 2000).
.
Cognition, Mindset Assumptions and IQ

Cognition is the brain‘s ability to reason, analyse and make deductions based on experience,
reality, facts, figures, categorisation and concepts. It however, comprises processes such as
perception, knowledge, problem-solving, judgment, language, and memory. Another
definition tells us that cognition is the sum total of mental processes that enables us to acquire
knowledge and keeps us aware of our surroundings and thus enable us to arrive at appropriate
judgments. It is cognition that determines skills such as problem‑solving, decision‑making,
and creativity (Sujita Kumar Kar and Meha Jain, 2016).
Cognitive psychology is committed to probing how we think. It endeavours to explicate
how and why we think the way we do, and studies the connections between our thinking,
emotion, creativity, language, problem-solving, and how these can affect our desired
behaviour, action, speech and motion. Cognition and mental intelligence (IQ), according to
our study, help create what psychologists refer to as the psychology of categories. This study
looks at how we learn, how we remember, and how we apply that information to create
categories that form our opinion. The mental representations or opinions we form from
categories become our concept or perception of things. Invariably, the category of concept or
perception we have, leads us to assume that those concepts (perceptions) correspond closely
to what we think, feel and see as actual facts or things. Thus, concepts (perceptions) are ideas
which we generate through our observation and assimilation of information. We then
categorise this information into cognitive construct. Since concepts help us assume
relationships among the various information elements we receive, they also help keep our
perception of such information systematised and accessible in our mind. This ability of the
mind to systematise and access perceived information as cognitive constructs; thus provides
us with our various mindsets – be it fixed or growth-mindset.
In a 2004 case study, Drs. Dweck, Mangels, & Good investigated whether a fixed or
growth mindset could influence academic ability. Dr. Carol Dweck‘s, research on the
significant relationship between mindset and ability, helped change the way we perceive
assumptions vis-à-vis behaviour. A mindset is a set of assumptions held by individuals that
creates a powerful incentive to continue, adopt, or accept prior behaviour. Dr. Dweck found
two distinct mindsets that individuals typically exhibit when perceiving their own ability; the
fixed mindset and the growth mindset. The growth mindset is the understanding that you can
always improve upon your abilities through practice and exertion. A fixed mindset however,
denotes that successful abilities are innate and inflexible and that you are either born talented
or not talented (PCA Global, 2016). So, is this applicable in Love Management Relationship?

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Can fixed or growth-mindset affect our relationships and how we perceive each other? Yes of
course. According to Dr. Dweck, ―One problem is that people with fixed-mindset expect
everything good to happen automatically. It‘s not that the partners will work to help each
other solve their problems or gain skills. It‘s that this will magically occur through their love,
sort of the way it happened in Sleeping Beauty whose coma was cured by her prince‘s kiss, or
to Cinderella, whose miserable life was suddenly transformed by her prince (Dweck, 2006).
Thus in Love Management Relationship, there is nothing like management for the fixed-
mindset partner. His/her, IQ, as an aspect of cognition, is fixated on the assumption that ‗if
you have to work at it, then it wasn‘t meant to be.‘ For him/her, the ideal is instant, perfect,
and perpetual compatibility. Like riding off into the sunset; like ‗they lived happily ever after
(Ibid).‘ Our research results showed that certain couples who developed issues with being
able to manage their love relationships at personal level, and those who lacked the cognitive
capacity and self-awareness to play their role effectively in relationships; had certain
similarities – the fixed-mindset assumption. We did discover also that a considerable number
of our case study respondents lacked the willingness to seek assistance in relationship-
sustainability. However, a reasonable number sought avenues for managing theirs. So, not
only does cognition and IQ (mental intelligence) help generate mindset assumptions, they are
key factors in determining whether we develop fixed or growth-mindsets in our relationships.
This affects how these relationships are viewed by both partner and account for varying
perspectives in management.
.
Significance of SQ in Relational-Management

Spiritual Intelligence (SQ), like EQ; is becoming more mainstream in scientific inquiry and
philosophical/psychological discussion. SQ is the central and most fundamental of all
intelligences because it becomes the source of guidance of the others…SQ represents our
drive for meaning and connection with the infinite (Covey, 2004). There has been an
enormous amount of study, observation and research in the area of intelligence, particularly
over the last 20 years (Ibid). Danah Zohar and Ian Marshall‘s research work in SQ in 2000;
opened the doorway to numerous other studies in this fascinating but previously downplayed
facet of human intelligence. In their book, SQ: Connecting with Our Spiritual Intelligence,
they highlighted 12 principles underlying SQ:

1. Self-awareness: Knowing what I believe in and value, and what deeply motivates me
2. Spontaneity: Living in and being responsive to the moment
3. Being vision- and value-led: Acting from principles and deep beliefs, and living
accordingly
4. Holism: Seeing larger patterns, relationships, and connections; having a sense of
belonging
5. Compassion: Having the quality of "feeling-with" and deep empathy
6. Celebration of diversity: Valuing other people for their differences, not despite them
7. Field independence: Standing against the crowd and having one's own convictions
8. Humility: Having the sense of being a player in a larger drama, of one's true place in
the world
9. Tendency to ask fundamental "Why?" questions: Needing to understand things
and get to the bottom of them
10. Ability to reframe: Standing back from a situation or problem and seeing the bigger
picture or wider context

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 11. Positive use of adversity: Learning and growing from mistakes, setbacks, and
suffering
12. Sense of vocation: Feeling called upon to serve, to give something back
(Zohar & Marshall, 2000)

Other experts, who have done extensive research into SQ, include Ken O'Donnell, who
advocates for the integration of SQ (Spiritual Intelligence) with both IQ (Mental or Rational
Intelligence) and EQ (Emotional Intelligence). IQ, he believes, helps us to interact with
numbers, formulas and things, EQ, on the other hand, helps us to interact with people while
SQ, helps us to maintain inner balance. To calculate one's level of SQ he suggests the
following criteria:

 How much time, money and energy and thoughts do we need to obtain a desired result
 How much bilateral respect there exists in our relationships
 How ‗clean‘ a game we play with others
 How much dignity we retain in respecting the dignity of others
 How tranquil we remain in spite of the workload
 How sensible our decisions are
 How stable we remain in upsetting situations
 How easily we see virtues in others instead of defects.

Robert Emmons sees SQ as "the adaptive use of spiritual information to facilitate everyday
problem-solving and goal attainment." He originally proposed 5 components of SQ:

1. The capacity to transcend the physical and material

2. The ability to experience heightened states of consciousness
3. The ability to sanctify everyday experience
4. The ability to utilise spiritual resources to solve problems
5. The capacity to be virtuous:
o Higher Level of Intelligence and self-awareness
o Early Maturing
o Control over emotions

Frances Vaughan offers the following description: "SQ is concerned with the inner life of
mind and spirit and its relationship to being in the world."
Cindy Wigglesworth on her own; believes that SQ is "the ability to act with wisdom and
compassion, while maintaining inner and outer peace, regardless of the circumstances." She
breaks down the competencies that comprise SQ into 21 skills, arranged into a four quadrant
model similar to Daniel Goleman's widely used model of EQ (Emotional Intelligence). The
four quadrants of SQ are defined as:

1. Higher Self / Ego self-Awareness

2. Universal Awareness
3. Higher Self / Ego self-Mastery
4. Spiritual Presence / Social Mastery

David B. King is yet another expert who has undertaken extensive research on SQ at Trent
University in Peterborough, Ontario, Canada. King sees SQ as a set of adaptive mental
capacities based on non-material and transcendent aspects of reality, specifically those that:

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"...contribute to the awareness, integration, and adaptive-application of the non-material and
transcendent aspects of one's existence, leading to such outcomes as deep existential
reflection, enhancement of meaning, recognition of a transcendent self, and mastery of
spiritual states." He further proposes four core abilities or capacities of SQ:

1. Critical Existential Thinking: The capacity to critically contemplate the nature of

existence, reality, the universe, space, time, and other existential/metaphysical issues;
also the capacity to contemplate non-existential issues in relation to one's existence
(i.e., from an existential perspective).
2. Personal Meaning Production: The ability to derive personal meaning and purpose
from all physical and mental experiences, including the capacity to create and master
a life purpose.
3. Transcendental Awareness: The capacity to identify transcendent
dimensions/patterns of the self (i.e., a transpersonal or transcendent self), of others,
and of the physical world (e.g., non-materialism) during normal states of
consciousness, accompanied by the capacity to identify their relationship to one's self
and to the physical.
4. Conscious State Expansion: The ability to enter and exit higher states of
consciousness (e.g. pure consciousness, cosmic consciousness, unity, oneness) and
other states of trance at one's own discretion (as in deep contemplation, meditation,
prayer, etc.)

Last but not the least, Vineeth V. Kumar & Manju Mehta both researched the concept,
extensively. Operationalising the construct, they defined SQ as "the capacity of an individual
to possess a socially relevant purpose in life by understanding ‗self'‘ and having a high degree
of conscience, compassion and commitment to human values." (Researchgate, 2020)
When we talk about the application of SQ in relational-management, we are referring to the
concept of ‗wholeness‘, of ‗completeness‘ and ‗wellbeing‘ of love relationship. We are
looking at it from the perspective of ‗the return or the maintenance of the wholeness of love
relationship.‘ It is a perception of the sustainability of relationship through the spiritual
transformative powers of wisdom, compassion and self-awareness. I particularly enjoyed the
chapter in Danah Zohar‘s book, titled 'Healing Ourselves with SQ'. Here, SQ is described as
the means by which we can heal ourselves, noting that the words 'health' 'wholeness' and
'healing' come from the same Old English root ('haelen'). I was reminded of seeing this word
in the context of indigenous concepts of wellbeing where 'healing (haelen) means ‗a return to
wholeness‘ and is used to denote the educational process of learning about the self
…(Atkinson, 2003). For those of us familiar with the work of James Hillman in, The Soul's
Code, and his 'acorn theory', Zohar and Marshall suggest following Hillman‘s point of view
that ‗we are born whole, but fused with our environment.‘ They argue that SQ is present at
the stage of our birth, but the lack of worldly experience in the child means that he/she tries
to adapt him/herself to a fragmented existence in order to survive. The ‗original self‘ has its
own unique fate or daimon, according to. Hillman. This ‗self‘ is both unique and whole and it
is our life's task to remember, or realise this uniqueness or destiny and to live it (Hillman,
1997). Unlike IQ, which computers have, and EQ, which exists in higher mammals, SQ is
uniquely human and the most fundamental of the three. It is linked to humanity‘s need for
meaning; an issue very much at the forefront of people‘s minds…SQ is what we use to
develop our longing and capacity for meaning, vision, and value. It allows us to dream and to
strive. It underlies the things we believe in and the role our beliefs and values play in the
actions we take. It is in essence what makes us human (Zohar & Marshall, 2000).

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 This aspect of what makes us human, brings me to the significance of SQ in our
connectivity to the ‗infinity of the other‘ which I talked about in my first relationship-
sustainability book, The Casanova Principle, and which I have reproduced here: It is this
‗infinity‘—this indiscernible quality of the human personality that makes us
unique...distinctly different from other creatures on this planet. Because we possess that one
quality that cannot be understood or even controlled effectively, we possess the capacity to be
‗infinite‘ or ‗mysterious‘. Because our thoughts are uniquely individual and because the mind
is independent of its surrounding—not controlled by our thoughts or bodies—it fascinates us
therefore to know the other person, to ‗absorb‘ the other‘s ‗infinity‘...capture the person‘s
very essence.
This desire to experience the ‗infinity of the other‘ as Levinas calls it, ignites passion in our
hearts, awakening latent feelings that flood our minds with emotion...yearnings...a longing to
capture and even ‗absorb‘ part of that ‗other person‘ and become one with it. It is this that
urges us to seek out another person—a companion, lover, friend, child. It is what drives us,
what makes us humans—this need, to be a part of ‗the other‘—to belong to the whole (Alily,
2013). This need to be part of the whole – to seek out the ‗infinity of the other‘ and to be part
of that ‗infinity‘ – is what makes SQ so significant in Love Management Relationship.

Application
The above results show indeed that there is some real correlation between intelligences and
interpersonal relationships, especially where relational-management is concerned. But are
these applicable in the actual management process of relationships? Our study showed this
relevance, but is it feasible? Is it applicable? In addressing this, we looked at three aspects of
management in relationships and how intelligences played key roles in them, viz: looking at
management relationship from a corporate perspective – Organisational Management,
looking at management relationship from a romantic or love perspective – Love
Management, and looking at the relevance of management in the process of sustaining
relationships – both Organisational and Love:

Intelligences in Organisational Management Relationship

Management is arguably one of the most overused, even abused terms in the world, and it is
taken to have a very broad meaning. However, one of these meanings brings into context the
association of management with the word ‗process.‘ In other words, management is often
referred to in relation to a process, as in ‗management process.‘ What exactly, then, is a
management process? It is the systematic way of planning what should be done, by whom,
when, how, and using what resources (Shonhiwa, 2006). In applying a ‗systematic way of
doing what should be done, by whom, when, how, and using resources‘; management has to
define what its resources are. These resources could be an asset, skill or competency that that
organisation has which provides competitive advantage in its field of expertise, and helps it
achieve its primary objective. One process through which organisations achieve its objective
is through the concept of MBO (Management By Objectives) introduced by Peter Drucker in
the 50s. Another fallback to my MBA days, MBO, is a systematic process of result
acquisition, where senior management in an organisation dictate tasks to employees without
definite implementation processes, thus allowing for initiative and application of individual
intelligences to achieve objectives. It focuses more on results, rather than processes, and so
emphasises the application of individual resources to meet objectives. But meeting those

11
objectives requires four crucial questions which J.B. Barney referred to in his book as the
VRIO framework. And these are:

1. Value – Does the objective provide competitive advantage?

2. Rareness – Do the competition possess such?
3. Imitability – Can it be imitated easily?
4. Organisation – Can management exploit the resource?

The crucial factor in finding answers to all these organisational management processes or
questions is the human factor, and the application of intelligences to achieve set goals and
objectives. In the introduction to this paper, I mentioned that the key factor that drives
Organisational Management in any business is the human factor. Human behaviour in the
workplace, I indicated, is driven by three critical factors: expectations, beliefs and values.
Expectation fosters the need to perform as performance guarantees reward in form of
remuneration and benefits. Belief creates a reasoning that engenders core value systems
which are essential for guaranteeing loyalty, and Value provides the principles or core
systems necessary for the cultivation of corporate culture. And of course, we know that the
culture of most organisations determines the leadership perspective and managerial direction.
Leadership, I mentioned, is based on a VCM (Vision, Commitment and Management Skills)
model, and management, on a PGR (Performance, Goals and Results) model. Invariably,
leaders set the visionary perspective by employing CQ (Cultural Intelligence) and SQ
(Spiritual Intelligence) to establish integrity, ethics and due process as organisational core
values. Managers, on the other hand, drive performance by applying EQ (Emotional
Intelligence) and IQ (Mental Intelligence) which provide solutions, achieve results and
establish desired objectives for the organisation. So, while Organisational Management can
be looked at from the standpoint of leadership and management as its core components in
business; essential to that core, is the relevance of intelligences in driving key processes that
achieve desired results. Employer/employee engagement which is necessary for fostering
diligence, dedication and loyalty in the workplace, thrive effectively with the application of
intelligences such as EQ, IQ, CQ and SQ.
Our study shows that application of CQ and SQ at leadership levels of the board and top
executive level, and EQ and IQ at Managerial level, engender a corporate culture that
encourages a sense of belonging and wellbeing in workers at such organisation. These
intelligences create a feeling of ownership among employees, and that generates loyalty and
devotion to duty in the long run.

Intelligences in Love Management Relationship

I must state clearly here that while the overall objective of this paper is to determine the
relevance of intelligences in relationship management, its primary purpose however, is to
look at how these intelligences impact Love Management Relationship, particularly. It is true
that intelligences such as CQ, EQ, PQ, IQ and SQ have crept successfully into the business
relationship lexicon, but at personal relationship level, it has not so much. Organisational
Management has evolved over the years with structures, processes and resources that have
made it a solid applicable method for interrelating in the workplace, and running the business
efficiently without apparent hiccups. These are known as MOB or Mechanics of Business.
MOB utilises Strategy, Policies and Procedures, and Organisational Structures to achieve its
goal. Within MOB, intelligences are applied at both leadership and managerial levels to
achieve whatever result is desired. All these are clearly defined in Organisational

12
Management and when we apply for a job in an organisation, we are cognisant of these
structures. We build our career around these structures and become both partakers and
stakeholders in these processes. Thus, we perform, grow and are promoted for our ability to
apply both intelligences and our initiative in solving corporate challenges. In other words, we
invest in our career, nurture it, commit to it, become stakeholders in its structures; share our
expertise and knowledge within same structures, and grow to become bosses and leaders
within its value system. We manage our career so effectively. However, when it comes to
managing our love relationships, we don‘t apply the same dedication as we do to our career.
Why is that so?
Our research shows that in Love Management Relationship, we have been socialised to
assume that ‗love conquers all‘, hence the belief in a fairytale concept of love relationship as
a ‗Live happily ever after‘ union. The notion that once we are in love and have taken some
vow – whether in matrimony or just a solemn love-partnership vow – that everything is
supposed to work out just fine, is one of the unfortunate myths of Love Management
Relationship. Like our career in the workplace, we have to manage our love relationship. We
have to build a ‗love career‘ and apply similar MOB as in the workplace, to make love work
and remain sustainable. How? First thing first, is to look at the business model and apply
some of its principles and strategies. As with Organisational Management Relationship, apply
firstly the MBO model. Ask yourself: in this love relationship, what is my objective? What
do I hope to achieve in the long run? Then apply the VCM model by asking further, what is
my vision, commitment and management skills in trying to reach my objective? Note that in
Love Management Relationship, both partners are equal stakeholders; therefore, you are both
leaders and managers. After outlining your management by objective, and identifying your
vision, commitment and management capability in fostering sustainability in the relationship,
next is to apply organisational analysis principles. Now take the VRIO framework and apply
it. Ask yourself:

1. Value – What importance do I bring to this love relationship?

2. Rareness – Can I help make it something unique between us?
3. Imitability – Can I help pass it on as our legacy to the next generation?
4. Organisation – Can I play my part in managing and sustaining it?

It is only when you have answered these questions truthfully; that you can honestly begin
to understand how to apply the intelligences in love relationship in order to grow and reap
sustainability. But even this requires at some point, implicit self-interrogation. So, you
wonder: what is the difference between individuals and organisations that succeed in today‘s
multicultural, globalised world and those that fail (Livermore, 2015)? The difference, you
will come to realise, is that at both individual and organisational levels, success today is
assuredly guaranteed by those who understand how to apply the intelligences effectively in
their interrelationships. These intelligences motivate us to reason out and strategise
effectively on actions that can bring about certain awareness in our role as critical players in a
relationship. There are five of them necessary for managing love relationship, but four are
key actuators in keeping passion, intimacy and commitment alive. These four intelligences or
competencies, I adopted from Dr. Livermore‘s research perspective on CQ competency.
However, their application in this paper, while including CQ, covers the four main actuators
– EQ, IQ, SQ and PQ – and their roles in our relationships. What do they do and how do they
affect us?

13
EQ Drive (Motivation) – Emotional Intelligence is the motivational energy that drives our
passion, need for intimacy and commitment, and the interest to continue seeking that
unfathomable but manifest ‗infinity of the other‘. EQ Drive generates our consciousness for
needing to be, needing to understand and needing to share with our ‗other half‘. It is a key
actuator of passion as it enables a realisation of self-awareness. The ability to be (self)-aware
– of one‘s self, others, and a situation – is what really makes a difference…(Ibid). Self-
awareness creates both empathy and compassion. It lets you appreciate your partner‘s
viewpoint and feelings, and how to come to terms with changes that occur in your
relationship. It equally brings about temperance, which provides the discipline of control and
moderation; enabling self-restraint. EQ drives the need to seek a kind and compassionate way
to manage a relationship, appreciate its boundaries and understand its vagaries. Our research
showed that EQ Drive is a relevant competence in Love Management Relationship.

IQ knowledge (Cognition) – Mental Intelligence provides the knowledge necessary to

appreciate how deep our intimacy is, how mutual our feelings are for each other, how
earnestly we express kindness towards each other, and how really committed and caring we
are for each other. People think they are in love for many reasons—lust, infatuation, desire
for security, status, or social acceptance. They think they have found true love because the
current prospect fulfills some image or expectation. But unless they know how they feel, their
choice is destined to be wrong (Segal). IQ Knowledge gives you the ability to analyse, to
undertake due-diligence about your partner before you let emotions overshadow reason.
While it is not advisable to be over cautious, suspicious or over analytical; fact is, if you are
looking at a long haul in your relationship; you should think things through. Love affairs are
generally designed for the long term, usually. People don‘t usually fall in love with the
intention of breaking up the very next day. Although this does happen, it is however, not the
ideal. One of the biggest decisions we make in our lives is to get married. It is a life-long
commitment, yet some people don‘t think it through. Often people plan comprehensively and
extensively for the wedding day, but never pause to think that ―I‘m going to live with that
man/woman every day for the rest of my life.‖ For many, marriage becomes a learning curve
that often takes a sharp unexpected bend in the road of matrimony, resulting in sadness,
broken hearts and even divorce or death. The increased rate of femicide globally is partially
due to this – this inability of couples to ask questions about their partners, to do due-diligence
on him or her, and to think things through before committing to relationships. While there is
nothing wrong with the old adage of ‗following your heart‘; IQ Knowledge is there for you to
ask necessary questions that might assist you eventually in knowing who you are sharing
your heart with, and how to manage that relationship thereafter.

SQ Strategy (Transcendental) – Spiritual Intelligence provides the meta-cognitive capacity

to strategise, appraise your instinctive as well as your intuitive competencies, and deeply
analyse what you feel, before committing to a relationship. Meta-Cognition deals with the
mind‘s ability to analyse feelings, emotions, reactions and responses from a transcendental
perspective. This competence expands the mind exponentially so we can sense feelings
through so-called energy ‗actuators‘ (auric vibrations) which reveal (activate) visions and
sensations that let us appreciate connections between diverse aspects of our relationship, thus
enabling us to ask ‗why‘ and ‗what if‘ questions. SQ Strategy looks for meaning and sees our
lives through lenses of ‗intuitive-inclusiveness‘ which is a more reliable, and consistent way
for predicting how we analyse and accept qualities of our partners that fit into our overall
perspective of compatibility. This aspect of our overall perspective of compatibility is crucial
because inclusiveness is our ability to look at the whole spectrum of an individual – his/her

14
capabilities, intellectual know-how, skills, cultural background, race, religion, etc – and
identify these as key potentials that make him/her unique and valuable, thus accepting and
adapting these qualities to fit with our overall perspective or goal (Mpele, 2016). There is
compelling evidence from experts such as Covey, Zohar, Emmons, Kumar and Mehta, for the
predictive validity of SQ Strategy as the source of guidance for all other intelligences due to
its adaptive use of spiritual information to facilitate everyday problem-solving and goal
attainment (Emmons). And because of this, it has the capacity to enable individuals possess
socially relevant purposes in life through the understanding of ‗self'‘ and a high degree of
conscience, compassion and commitment to human values (Kumar and Mehta). In other
words, SQ Strategy can help through adaptive spiritual information – sensing, feeling and
analysis – to predict a partner‘s innermost thoughts, judgement, decisions, wellbeing,
intentions, and desires, even before such are vocalised or enacted; therefore, providing the
opportunity to pre-empt or appreciate possible outcomes. It is an essential tool for ‗intuitive
soul-searching‘ and predictive-analysis in Love Management Relationship.

PQ Action (Behavioural) – Physical Intelligence is the body‘s behavioural competence that

responds or reacts to our partner‘s presence, actions, feelings and emotions. PQ Action
reveals to us when things are either right or not. It sends off subtle signals from interactions
with other vibrations and emotions, and often warns us of intents, purposes and asymmetrical
yin-yang balance. It also tells us when things are right and when ‗love chemistry‘ is in synch.
However, for most people it is hard to get clear signals from the whole body during new love,
because they are often drowned out by sexual desire, which is why it is important to notice
other, more subtle feelings. Muscle tension, migraines, stomach pains, or lack of energy
could mean that what you desire is not what you need. On the other hand, if the glow of love
is accompanied by an increase in energy and liveliness, this could be the real thing.
If it is more than infatuation or lust, a benefit will be felt in other parts of your life and in
other relationships (Segal). Behavioural action is, knowing when to respond to certain
feelings, thoughts, or sensations. It is equally, knowing how to adapt to situations, even if not
desirable. Jeanne Segal advocates further that when your body sends these signals, ask
yourself these questions:

 Is this relationship energising the totality of my life? For example, has my work
improved? Am I taking better care of myself?
 Is my head on straighter? Am I more focused, more creative and responsible?
 Do my ‗in love‘ feelings go beyond feeling positive-caring for my beloved? Do I feel
more generous, more giving, and more empathic with friends, coworkers, or total
strangers?

If the answers you get from your body are not what you want to hear, try to push beyond
the natural fear of loss we all experience. Finding out now that you have not found true love
can spare you the pain of a pile of negative emotional memories—a legacy that can keep you
repeating the same mistakes or sour you on love altogether (Ibid). PQ Action is relentless in
letting us know when things are fine or not, and it often governs the way we behave around
people once we receive those subtle signals. While it might send us discomfiting sensations
like muscle tension, migraines or stomach pains as indications of instinctive reactive
disharmony with something or someone; it can also stimulate hyperventilation, raised hairs,
and fluttering butterfly sensations in the belly as intuitive ‗get the hell out of here‘ warning
signals of danger or harm. PQ Action is our body‘s secure ‗alarm-system‘ for keeping us out

15
of harm‘s way, and our study shows that it works perfectly as our safe-guard when we
respond or act appropriately once it is activated.

Then CQ picks up where these other forms of intelligences leave off. It gives you the
practical and interpersonal skills needed when the cultural context changes (Livermore,
2015). Dr. David Livermore is perhaps the world‘s foremost guru in CQ (Cultural
Intelligence). His great research work and books on this uniquely important competence has
helped me to understand and to undertake further research on my own, which opened broader
perspectives into other intelligences mentioned in this paper. The fact that CQ is looked at
here outside the other four intelligences shows its vital impact as an ‗effector‘ competence.
The others are known as ‗actuator‘ competencies. What this means significantly, is that CQ
initiates the awareness in people – whether leaders, lovers or partners – that activates the
conscious need to apply the other intelligences in everything they do. Therefore, the four-part
DKSA (Drive, Knowledge, Strategy, and Action) model is rooted in CQ. As an ‗effector‘ of
the DKSA model, CQ generates awareness and understanding in all of us.

CQ Awareness (Influential) – Cultural Intelligence is the capability to function effectively

across national, ethnic, and organisational cultures (Livermore, 2015). Culture itself is a
collective shared characteristic of a group or team which distinguishes the members of that
group or team from another (Mpele, 2016). To be cognisant of cultural differences therefore,
and to appreciate those differences as unique qualities that make a particular culture different
from yours, is what CQ Awareness effects. In our love relationship, CQ Awareness is a
necessary tool in helping us forge lasting and better understanding of ‗where our partner is
coming from‘. Often in love affairs, you hear the man say, ―I can‘t understand you‖, and the
woman replies, ―You don‘t even care about how I feel!‖ The crux of the matter in such a
situation is that neither has developed the required CQ Awareness to appreciate the
‗uniqueness‘ that their differences bring to the relationship. A lot of couples embark on love
relationship with the notion that ‗I can change him/her.‘ There is an overwhelming and
almost predictive acknowledgement that love relationship is about making our partners
conform to our ideal of what love should be. Often though that ‗ideal‘ is based on a narrow,
and culturally-influenced perspective of what love actually is. When we tell our partner, ―you
don‘t act as if you love me‖ or ―you don‘t behave like a married woman/man‖; that stems
from a personal conscious belief that we know how someone in love should act or how a
married woman/man should behave. This belief often than not, emanates from our individual
cultural background and how we have been socialised to perceive ‘love‘ or ‗married action‘.
These cultural characteristics evolve from information we received through parents and
family as children. As boys we are told, ―You have to be strong, you are a man,‖ and as girls,
it is, ―Stop behaving like a boy; don‘t you realise you‘re a woman?‖ So we grow into adults
being socialised into thinking that men must be strong and women must stop behaving like
men: in other words, women should be weak. These diverse views somehow form our
perceptions of male/female roles in society, and so when we engage in love relationship, we
bring along these cultural beliefs. Our interactions become tainted by these unconscious
biases of ‗how men should behave and how women should not‘. So, the tough, ‗macho‘, non-
compromising personality becomes ingrained in the male, and the soft, submissive, ever-
patient personality becomes the female nature. The CQ Awareness in this case is a carry-over
from childhood, and over time this influential competence over-rides any other competence
we might possess as individuals. Thus, the two cultural attributes of ‗toughness‘ and
‗softness‘ which are supposed to harmonise in yin-yang symmetry, become opposing forces
of disharmonic-cacophony. Our viewpoint on the male/female balance is then skewed by the

16
unrealistic belief that women should be protected, because they are weak. No wonder our
research found out that those couples who had issues with managing love relationships
effectively, or who lacked self-awareness roles in their relationships, or were unwilling to
seek assistance in sustainability; fell within the category which had fixed-mindset views of
how male/female relationships should be. This affected their CQ Awareness and ability to
apply other intelligences in their love lives. It became a crucial factor, as it provided a
coherent, prognostic answer to one of this paper‘s research-based questions: the role of CQ
Awareness as an ‗effector‘ of all other intelligences in Love Management Relationship?

Relevance of Management in Relationship-Sustainability

We already know that management plays a significant role in Organisational Management

Relationship and Love Management Relationship. We also know that in corporate
organisational management, leaders with visionary outlook employ CQ and SQ to promote
integrity, ethics and due process as core values; while managers go for performance through
EQ and IQ so as to provide solutions; achieve results and establish desired objectives in the
business. We equally know that in love relationship, the intelligences: EQ, IQ, SQ, and PQ
play essential roles as ‗actuators‘ in that relationship, while CQ plays the role of ‗effector‘
competence. Also, we know that CQ‘s role provides it with the four-part DKSA model,
which engenders enough self-awareness in couples to view drive, knowledge, strategy, and
action as enabling ‗effectors‘ in managing love relationships. However, this brings us to the
question: what is the relevance of management in relationship-sustainability?
It is much easier to talk about processes and principles of management when it has to do
with organisational management or corporate management. Business systems based on hard
work, target, performance, goal-getting, result, and remuneration; facilitate a structured
understanding of the processes involved in organisational management.HR(Human Resource)
function equally provides a structured appreciation of the layers of corporate Organisational
Management Relationship. So, when management is mentioned, it is often in relation to
business management process. We seldom think of management in relation to courtship,
romance, love, and marriage. Unlike the business world that has numerous handbooks on
how to navigate and survive the corporate workplace, there are no handbooks on the ABC of
courtship or how to nurture romance or cultivate love or sustain marriage. There are however,
thousands of articles and books on ‗ten ways to get into a man‘s head or a woman‘s bed‘. The
question though, is that when you do get into a man‘s head or a woman‘s bed, how do you
manage what comes after? How do you sustain what you have begun? This paper asserts that
management is a relevant tool in relationship-sustainability, but in order to sustain
relationship, we must be self-aware enough to realise how the intelligences or competencies
mentioned earlier in this paper influence and determine how we perceive love. We must first
ask ourselves if we are indeed in love with the person, or just a fantasy perception of him/her
warped by the power of lust. Quite frankly, most people can‘t tell the difference between love
and lust. And this is because the act of falling in love itself is so emotive that it can eliminate
any feeling of caution or doubt we have towards our choice partner, so fantasy and reality
merge to obliterate reason; creating an indiscernible thin line between love and lust (Alily,
2020). It is thus, imperative at this emotive stage of our relationship to let both EQ and IQ
guide our heart and head towards clearly understanding the path we must take.
Real love – consummate love – requires passion, intimacy, and commitment to thrive.
These are no easy attributes to contend with, and for you to nurture, commit, share and grow
these attributes into lasting and sustainable love relationship; some management is inevitable
in the process. There is no way you can look at long-term, enduring love relationship, without

17
mentioning the relevance of management in that relationship. Relationship-sustainability is
fruitless without management.

Conclusion
The objective of this paper is to look at how the intelligences can influence and impact
relationship-sustainability, as well as how management plays a crucial role in relationships.
As stated in the introduction, extensive research work was referenced from a number of
researchers, including myself, and we looked at the association between relationship and
management, and how this connection in Love Management Relationship can foster long-
term sustainability; as it does in Organisational Management Relationship. We asked three
crucial questions about management in relationship-sustainability: What is the role of
intelligences in Organisational Management Relationship, how do these intelligences impact
Love Management Relationship and what is the relevance of Management in Relationship-
Sustainability? We also sought significant relationship between cognition, mindset
assumptions, the mind-body synergy, and relational-awareness as factors fostering
Relationship-Sustainability. The research process comprised, undertaking in-depth
interviews, sending out questionnaires, conducting online engagements and video data
pooling, which involved a sample of 50 respondents spread across five countries, namely:
South Africa, Malaysia, UK, Nigeria and the US. We made sure that 30 of these respondents
were in the millennial youth cohort, while the other 20 were in the Generation-X adult cohort.
We equally ensured that they came from diverse disciplines, such as, executives, employees,
students, clients and charitable-volunteers. Additionally, we collated data from some
respondents in healthcare, law, social work, government and religion.
The data we collated presents enough evidence-based proof to endorse the theory that
intelligences do impact relationships, whether organisational relationship or love relationship.
It also leads us to the conclusion that management is a relevant and crucial element in
achieving relationship-sustainability at all levels of interrelationships, and so, it should be
included as a necessary educational and scientific study in relational psychology. The
validation process we implemented included identifying and mapping out married
respondents and those in committed love relationships, from those not in any committed
relationships, as well as those who were divorced. In doing that we had to factor in cultural
differences, race, tribe, religion, education, geographical location, political belief, status, and
family influence as critical indices. The basis of our evaluation is rooted in the validity of our
research methodology and evidence-based results.
This paper is Part I of a four part doctoral research thesis and this is only a concise version
of the actual thesis. Part II is titled: Mindset Perspectives: The Philosophy of growing and
sustaining relationships; Part III is titled: The Gift of Fear: Studies in developing and
harnessing the energy of feminine discernment, and Part IV is titled: The Psychology of
Compatibility

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