The Path to Redemption

When Adam and Eve were placed in Eden, “they were both naked, the man and his wife, and
were not ashamed.” (Genesis 2:25) After the serpent tempted Eve and both she and Adam ate the
forbidden fruit, “the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they
sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons.” (Genesis 3:7) They now saw their nakedness,
being previously unaware of it. Adam and Eve hid themselves from the presence of God and tried to
cover that which caused them shame. When asked by God where he was, Adam said, “I heard thy
voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself.” (Genesis 3:10) Adam
then blamed Eve for giving him the fruit and in a sense, he blamed God when he said, “The woman
whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree….” (Genesis 3:12) When Eve was
questioned, she blamed the serpent.
While Christians tend believe this story to be literal, there are also several metaphorical layers
of meaning within these words. One such layer of meaning of Adam and Eve becoming aware of their
nakedness relates to a person’s becoming self-aware or conscious of self. When Adam and Eve were
first placed in the garden, neither were conscious of who they really were, their character, their
strengths and the things they would excel at, their weaknesses and the things they would struggle with,
their motivations and desires, their beliefs, and their thoughts and feelings. These are all areas that
people often try hide because they can lead to feeling vulnerable, meaning exposing those things can
lead to the experience of pain through the words and actions of others. Eating the fruit began the
process of Adam and Eve becoming increasingly self-conscious: They now knew they were naked.
That is, they became aware there were some things they were ashamed of, although they were not yet
aware of everything within themselves. Their feeling of shame in the presence of God led to them trying
to cover their actions, withdrawing, and blaming. Shame is a belief that we are so bad that we cannot
be loved. While feeling guilt for our actions is healthy because it motivates us to change, shame leads
to an avoidance of seeing ourselves as we are and in turn it leads to evading the changes we need to
make. Shame always stops growth and progression. Overcoming shame and becoming aware of who
we are enables us to move away from withdrawing, hiding, or blaming. It enables us to move away
from fear and owning up to the things we do and why we do them.
As Adam and Eve left the Garden of Eden and the presence of God, their aim became
returning to his presence. To do this, they needed to completely transform themselves within. If our
objective in life is also returning to the presence of God, a total transformation of who we are is also
required. Jesus is not just interested in behavior modification. He wants to help us change our
character. He wants our desires and motivations to change. The only way to transform these things is
to begin understanding our sense of self. It is understanding who we are within that enables us to
grow. Without becoming aware of our inner self, we cannot fully change our character and become
like Jesus. This is why in Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount, he discussed the root causes of our errant
behaviors. Through his teachings, he invites us to look below the surface and examine our hearts, our
motives, our intentions, and the things we are hiding.

We Are Broken
Each of us has a sense of self; that is, a way of seeing our self, or understanding who we are.
This sense of self is often called the ego. It is the image we have of ourselves, as well as how we project
ourselves to others. This sense of self consists of a series of beliefs about who we are and who we
wish we were. We have beliefs about what our strengths and weaknesses are, what our desires and
motivations are, and so on. We tend to see ourselves inaccurately and thus, the ego is based on a
combination of truth and error. While we may see part of who we are accurately, in some aspects we
underestimate our characteristics, while overestimating other characteristics.
Beneath the ego, we have a true self, which consists of both good and bad. That is to say,
while some of our true self is similar to or like that of Jesus’ character (e.g. we may be a very patient
or forgiving person), other aspects of our character deviate from his. We may be aware of some of
our true self, but we are actually unaware of much of it.
Some of our beliefs about ourselves are public, while others are private. Our private beliefs
refer to how we view ourselves and consist of those things we think we believe, as opposed to how
we actually are. It is typical that we want to view ourselves in a certain way and these beliefs inform
those views. Often what we actually believe is kept hidden from our own view. On the other hand,
our public beliefs aim to manage what others think of us, and these beliefs are often influenced by our
private beliefs. They affect how we interact with others: We want to present ourselves in a certain way,
hoping others will perceive us in the ways we portray. Much of the time, we want to portray ourselves
as better than we actually are.
In essence, our ego stems from how we imagine we ought to be. In particular, the ego is fixated
on outcomes and the appearance of things. It also seeks to conform to other’s expectations and the
world around us. It seeks status and wants to be viewed as important. Thus, the ego inevitably
influences how we think, what we say, and how we act, seeking to control others and situations.
While the ego is based on a set of both public and private beliefs we have that enable us (and
others) to feel good about ourselves, we also have a set of core beliefs which is what we actually believe.
We are almost completely unaware of most of our core beliefs and how there is a discrepancy between
them and our private and public beliefs, because of our desire to view ourselves as better than we
actually are. For example, we might view ourselves as generous and through our words, we might
purport our own generosity. But then when we are put in a situation where we have the opportunity
to be generous, we will have specific emotions in that situation and then show that in fact we are not
as generous as we thought we were. Our thoughts will most often not betray what our core beliefs
are, as they reveal our private beliefs. So, if you want to know your core beliefs, study your behavior
and your emotions. While our behavior may sometimes reflect an inaccurate view of who we really
are, our emotions never do.
The parts of our true self we repress and keep hidden from ourselves and others is often called
the shadow or the beast within. This includes all those things that we deny and hate about ourselves.
Paul referred to this part of ourselves as the “natural man.” (1 Corinthians 2:14) Beasts (i.e. animals)
function at an unconscious level, completely unaware of why they do what they do. An animal’s
behavior is based on impulse, driven by instinct and appetites, manifesting little self-control, and
possessing a fight or flight mentality. When we act without self-control and without conscious
awareness of what we are doing and why, it is as if a beast is unleashed within us.
The beast desires the things of the world; it has a great deal of needs and wants in life and in
its relationships with others. It expects love to be given and received in particular ways. It expects
attention and praise, desiring favor from both God and men. It wants to fit in, endeavoring to conform
to the standards of others (whether it be appearance, personality, standards of righteousness, etc.). It
will also have expectations of how others should and should not treat them. It seeks to change others
and at times, control them. The beast also does kind things for others, but with the motive of self.
This motive is hard to detect because on the surface it seems benevolent, but upon digging deeper, it
is simply doing those things to feel good about itself.
This idea is played out in Daniel 4 where Nebuchadnezzar was warned by God in a dream to
repent. Due to not repenting, he became like a beast for a time until he repented and acknowledged
God. This experience of Nebuchadnezzar is analogous to how we have aspects within our character
that we do not wish to confront, but when we finally do see the beast within us, we can overcome it.
We can repent and change.

Fear Lies Underneath

The beast and the ego have fear at their root. This fear is not the instinctive response we have
in the face of danger, but rather it is the root of all negative emotions. Positive emotions, on the other
hand, stem from love. While some emotions always stem from fear (such as impatience), or love (such
as gratitude), other emotions stem from either fear or love (such as anger). We have to examine
ourselves deeply in order to determine the root. Negative emotions, though, are based in the fear of
not being loved. This is shame, or believing we are so bad that we cannot be loved. This leads to a
fear of rejection, abandonment, insignificance, loss, and failure. While one person might
predominantly possess a fear of rejection, another might primarily experience a fear of failure, but at
the root each person has the fear of not being loved. When we look within, we may detect that we
have a fear of what others will say or think. However, below that fear we have deeper fears that involve
wondering if another still accepts us or loves us. We may examine ourselves and notice we have a fear
of conflict. Deeper down we fear that we are not loved by the other if there is conflict. We may
determine we have a fear of emotional pain. This fear of negative emotions stems from our wondering
if we are a worthwhile person or if we ought to be ashamed of who we are. Fearing we are unlovable
is the basis on which we keep the beast hidden and the ego seeks to portray us in a more positive light.
We want to be accepted. We want to belong. We want to be loved.
There are times when each of us act out of fear. When we experience a difficult emotion (such
as frustration, irritation, resentment, jealousy, and so on), it can lead to defensiveness or
aggressiveness. This is analogous to the flight or fight response. Both these reactions have their aim
in trying to preserve our sense of self, one that we believe can be loved. In other words, it is the ego
aiming to protect itself. We do this by withdrawing and hiding from others, silencing ourselves,
becoming defensive, keeping secrets, seeking to please others in inauthentic ways, blaming, criticizing,
and so on. We cover up our insecurities and twisted view of reality, hiding behind our words and
defense mechanisms. At the root, all these actions are trying to control others, because we desperately
want others to accept us and to view us as important or a good person. Our fear of not being loved
leads us to hide our shadow from the view of others and ourselves and as a result, we bend and distort
the truth so as to manage the perceptions of others and ourselves about who we are. We aim to change
the way others think, speak, and act in the hopes that we will no longer feel those negative emotions.
Most of the time, we do not even realize we are doing this. This fear is like a current deep below the
surface of the water. While the current causes ripples on the surface, which are our interactions with
others, few see the current below, either in themselves or others.
Jesus said, “Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows.” (Matthew 10:31)
When we feel valued by God, we understand our worth and we move towards feeling secure. We no
longer feel the fear of rejection or abandonment. We are no longer motivated by fear. Then when
others say or do things, which previously led to us feeling unlovable, we know the truth about our
worth and we realize it does not matter what others think about us, because our focus is on what God
thinks about us. A fearful sense of self is not derived from what God knows about us, but as we begin
to understand how God sees us and loves us, despite what is lurking in the shadow, we can begin to
move away from being motivated by fear.
After Adam ate the fruit he felt afraid. What was he afraid of? The fact that he covered his
nakedness and then hid from God indicates he was ashamed of how he viewed himself and he felt
ashamed for disobeying God. His guilt became shame. Adam likely knew there would be negative
consequences for his disobedience. If he had not felt fear, he would have owned up to his error and
bravely accepted the consequences. He would not have hid and tried to cover himself, trying to control
what God could detect. He would not have blamed Eve, knowing his own sin was a result of the
decision he made. When we understand that God loves us and as we overcome sin and become like
Jesus, fear dissipates. We feel confidence in who we are and the decisions we make.
When we accept who we really are and know that we are loved by God, weaknesses and all,
we no longer feel the fear of others seeing who we are and we no longer feel insecure about who we
are. We move away from trying to control and manipulate others through our words and actions and
we become completely authentic. The removal of fear means that we can love God, others, and
ourselves more abundantly.

God is Love
John wrote that the opposite of fear is love:

16 And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and
he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him.
17 Herein is our love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment:
because as he is, so are we in this world.
18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that
feareth is not made perfect in love. (1 John 4, emphasis added)

If we are to remove fear within us, we first have to know that God loves us, regardless of what
lies hidden in our shadow (see verse 16 above). However, if we want to completely overcome fear, it
takes more than just knowing that God loves us: We also have to see through the lies inherent in our
ego and conquer the beast we hide in the shadow. When we overcome these things, we will have
confidence when we are judged by God (see verse 17 above). We will have nothing to hide and nothing
we are ashamed of. We will have become love, as Christ is. (see verse 18 above)
When we come to know that we are truly loved by God, we learn that we can love and accept
ourselves too. This is an essential first step in overcoming sin and an impure heart because loving
ourselves means we accept that we have a beast lurking in the shadow and instead of trying to hide it,
we seek to expose it. We then learn that our beliefs about ourselves, others, and the world around us
(i.e. our ego) are either built on love or fear. Being confident in God’s love enables us to let go of the
fear of others knowing the real version of ourselves, including the flaws in our character and the things
we know are not great. In other words, when we no longer fear that we cannot be loved by others,
since we know God loves us, we stop trying to hide who we are from others. We begin to see through
the defense mechanisms we use, observing that they never give us the results we want, since when we
use them, instead of feeling more loved, we only feel more isolated and alone. Furthermore, we stop
trying to control others, since our control of others is nothing more than a ploy to make others accept
and love us. We no longer conform to the world and what others want from us simply to prove that
we should be loved. We accept how others view us, no matter whether what they perceive is true or
not.
Love is more than warm fuzzy feelings towards God and others. Love is deeply connected
with spiritual growth and development. If we are to replicate God’s love for us towards others, it is
vital to understand what God’s love for us means. God said, “Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting
love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee.” (Jeremiah 31:3) His love for us draws us
towards him. That is, it is his love that motivates him to help us become like Jesus. It is not surprising
then that his love is foundational in him correcting us through chastisement and challenges: “For
whom the Lord loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth.” (Proverbs 3:12)
Thus, love is putting forth effort to enable and nurture the spiritual development of oneself and
another. Jesus’ sacrifice is vital in our growth and development. This sacrifice is evident not only of
Jesus’ love, but of his Father’s love for us, who willingly offered his Son as a sacrifice for our sin. John
wrote, “In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten
Son into the world, that we might live through him.” (1 John 4:9)
If God’s love for us entails all the efforts he makes to enable our spiritual growth and eventual
perfection, likewise if we become love, our love for ourselves means that we will extend great effort
in developing spiritually. Jesus said, “If ye love me, keep my commandments.” (John 14:15) This love
extends beyond ourselves to all mankind (Matthew 22:37-39), including our enemies (Matthew 5:44).
This means that we do all we can to enable others to heal and become whole. This implies that at
times God requires we offer ourselves as a sacrifice for the spiritual growth of others.

Becoming Whole
Jesus spent a lot of time with sinners and outcasts. When the Pharisees asked him why he
associated with these people, he said, “They that be whole need not a physician, but they that are sick.”
(Matthew 9:12) When we move to a place where we accept that we are broken inside, Jesus can then
begin to help us heal. He can help make us whole. On the other hand, the Pharisees believed they
were already whole. They refused to see the beast within themselves and Jesus could not help them
heal. As mentioned previously, knowing and accepting we are broken inside is the first step towards
wholeness. Then, knowing that we are loved by God, despite this broken self, gives us the strength to
examine and explore our brokenness in order to change.
This idea of sickness and brokenness is mentioned throughout scripture. For example, Isaiah
compared sin and iniquity with illness:

4 Ah sinful nation, a people laden with iniquity, a seed of evildoers, children that are
corrupters: they have forsaken the Lord, they have provoked the Holy One of Israel
unto anger, they are gone away backward.
5 Why should ye be stricken any more? ye will revolt more and more: the whole head
is sick, and the whole heart faint.
6 From the sole of the foot even unto the head there is no soundness in it; but wounds,
and bruises, and putrifying sores: they have not been closed, neither bound up, neither
mollified with ointment. (Isaiah 1)

Healing is another repeated theme throughout scripture and is spoken of in conjunction with
repentance and returning to the Lord. Isaiah wrote, “And the Lord shall smite Egypt: he shall smite
and heal it: and they shall return even to the Lord, and he shall be intreated of them, and shall heal
them.” (Isaiah 19:22)
Within the first few chapters of the Bible, God makes a promise that we can overcome this
brokenness. When God cursed the serpent, he said, “And I will put enmity between thee and the
woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel.”
(Genesis 3:15) One way of understanding this is that the serpent is cursed and enmity is placed
between him and the woman and between him, along with his followers, and her seed, who is Jesus.
Enmity means being opposed to or actively fighting against something or someone. It means not
being one with it. In other words, they would not be unified with Satan and they would be opposed
to him, or actively work against him. In the end, Satan would have power to cause suffering, but he
will be overcome in the end. While the Bible begins with this promise of eventual triumph, it ends
with John the Revelator describing his vision of the literal fulfillment of this promise and details the
end of Satan, whom he describes as “that old serpent.” (Revelation 20:2-3,7-10)
This promise though is layered with meaning. On another level, God’s statement to Adam and
Eve refers to Christ’s kingdom overcoming the perverse, earthly kingdom, described as a beast. John
wrote about the end of that kingdom (see Revelation 19:19-20). Daniel also saw in vision the final
destruction of all earthly kingdoms, also portrayed as animals, and Jesus and his kingdom reigning
forever (see Daniel 7:11-14).
However, there is yet another meaning to this promise. John the Revelator explains who the
seed of the woman are: “And the dragon [or serpent] was wroth with the woman, and went to make
war with the remnant of her seed, which keep the commandments of God, and have the testimony of Jesus Christ.”
(Revelation 12:17; emphasis added) Those who keep God’s commandments and have the testimony
of Jesus are considered the seed of the woman. The promise in Genesis 3:15 is given to those
considered her seed, stating that they will “shall bruise [the serpent’s] head, and [the serpent] shalt
bruise his heel.” In other words, those who keep God’s commandments (in their entirety) will be able
to overcome the serpent within them (the beast or shadow) and the serpent outside of them (Satan
and his followers). John wrote, “And they overcame him [the serpent] by the blood of the Lamb, and
by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.” (Revelation 12:11)
It was because Adam and Eve obeyed the serpent that they were removed from the presence
of God. As each of us give into the beast within us, we are similarly shut out of the presence of God
and the only way for us to return to his presence is to overcome the beast and become like Jesus.
Returning to God’s presence can be called redemption from the fall, because we are saved from the
effects of the fall. Just as the fall came about due to sin, shutting us out of God’s presence, the only
way to return to his presence is to overcome that sin. God’s aim with us is to fulfill his promises made
in the Garden of Eden to bring us back into his presence, as we establish enmity with the snake and
“bruise [his] head.” (Genesis 3:15)
Without coming to know who we really are and the aspects of ourselves that are wounded and
broken, we cannot progress to become like Jesus. We need to reach a place where we can see through
the lies of the ego and begin working on overcoming the beast. It is God who helps us conquer the
beast and become whole, because he will show us the broken things inside us that require
transformation, including the illusions we run after in an effort to be accepted and loved by others.
God helps us replace the lies we believe in with truth. Jesus said, “And ye shall know the truth, and
the truth shall make you free.” (John 8:32) The truth frees us from the control of our ego. It frees us
from the effects of the fall and the things in this world that bind us. When we change how we see
God, ourselves, others, and the world around us, we begin to be transformed, because our minds are
renewed:

1 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies
a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.
2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your
mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
(Romans 12:1-2; emphasis added)

The renewing of our minds takes place as we remove the ego, replacing it with truth about
ourselves. It is this truth that motivates us to overcome the beast, becoming whole, or what Paul called
a “new creature.” He wrote, “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are
passed away; behold, all things are become new.” (2 Corinthians 5:17) It is only as we submit to God,
that we can kill the beast. It requires full surrender to him. Paul wrote that when we are Christ’s we
“have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.” (Galatians 5:24) The flesh with the affections
and lusts is simply the beast and the ego.
Killing the beast enables us to move to new states of being, including “love, joy, peace,
longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance” (Galatians 5:22-23) and we become
more and more like Jesus, operating from a position of love instead of fear. It is God who helps us be
rebuilt from the inside. Jeremiah wrote the words of the Lord, “Yes, I have loved you with an
everlasting love; Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you. Again I will build you, and you shall
be rebuilt, O virgin of Israel!” (Jeremiah 31:3-4) Although the Lord speaks about the building of Zion,
a geographical place, he is also referring to our own redemption from the fall. Our heart, or in other
words, our character changes into something new. We become pure and sanctified, just as Jesus is
pure. John wrote,

1 Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be
called the sons of God: therefore the world knoweth us not, because it knew him not.
2 Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be:
but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as
he is.
3 And every man that hath this hope in him purifieth himself, even as he is pure. (1
John 3)

John is describing redemption from the fall. When we are redeemed, it is because we have
become pure. Our purity enables us to be brought back in the presence of Christ. Jeremiah spoke of
the covenant the Lord makes with those who are on the path towards redemption. The Lord, through
Jeremiah, stated:

33 But this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days,
says the Lord: I will put My law in their minds, and write it on their hearts; and I will
be their God, and they shall be My people.
34 No more shall every man teach his neighbor, and every man his brother, saying,
‘Know the Lord,’ for they all shall know Me, from the least of them to the greatest of
them, says the Lord. For I will forgive their iniquity, and their sin I will remember no
more. (Jeremiah 31)

Through Ezekiel, the Lord expanded on what this covenant entails. Being redeemed from the
fall requires a new spirit or heart within us. We become clean from (outward and inward) sin and our
false beliefs are removed.

25 Then will I sprinkle clean water upon you, and ye shall be clean: from all your
filthiness, and from all your idols, will I cleanse you.
26 A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will
take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh.
27 And I will put my spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes, and ye
shall keep my judgments, and do them.
28 And ye shall dwell in the land that I gave to your fathers; and ye shall be my people,
and I will be your God. (Ezekiel 36)

This is the true purpose of religion and James understood it:

 26 If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but
deceiveth his own heart, this man's religion is vain.
27 Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless
and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world. (1 James
1)

The purpose of religion is the redemption of man from the effects of the fall. This involves
sanctification through overcoming the beast and the ego. This is what it means to be unspotted from
the world. This is wholeness. We become love, as God is love (see 1 John 4:16). This is exemplified
by James as visiting the fatherless and the widows in their affliction. It is when we do this that we are
symbolically readmitted into the garden and allowed once more to partake of the Tree of Life, a symbol
of God’s presence and love.

Death of the Ego

Since becoming pure and filled with love requires us seeing what lurks in the shadows within
us, we have to become increasingly aware of how our sense of self is composed. It is our ego that
keeps the beast hidden so that we can portray ourselves in particular ways. Without uncovering the
illusions we pursue, it becomes more and more difficult, if not impossible, to access the beast. This is
because our false beliefs about ourselves feed our weakness and sins. For example, if I have a weakness
of feeling frustrated with my children, it is because I have some false belief regarding my role as a
mother, I am not seeing them as God sees them, or any other false belief. Or, if I am jealous, I may
have false beliefs about the way my marriage ought to be or about myself needing to control others.
Until I rid myself of my ego, I will never rid myself of the beast.
Jesus, after healing a blind man, said that his purpose is to enable those who are blind to see.
His healing of the blind was a symbol of what he was really doing behind the scenes. Jesus enables us
to become aware of truth we did not previously recognize. In other words, we will see that which we
were previously unaware of. This means that over time we learn who we are and how God sees us,
which enables us to love ourselves and others more. While we are not accountable for those things
within us and around us that we genuinely cannot see, those who can see but do not reconcile
themselves to that truth God reveals to them, remain in sin.

39 And Jesus said, For judgment I am come into this world, that they which see not
might see; and that they which see might be made blind.
40 And some of the Pharisees which were with him heard these words, and said unto
him, Are we blind also?
41 Jesus said unto them, If ye were blind, ye should have no sin: but now ye say, We
see; therefore your sin remaineth. (John 9)

In Matthew 23, Jesus rebukes the Pharisees because they professed a false sense of who they
were, believing themselves to be better than they really were. Jesus calls this hypocrisy. They were not
authentic. Maybe some were blind to it, but after Jesus commented on the various ways in which they
displayed their inauthenticity, they would have been without excuse to repent and defeat the beast
within them. Jesus identified their ego when he repeated several times that there was a difference
between their public beliefs (what they professed about themselves to others) and who they really
were.
 25 Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye make clean the outside of
the cup and of the platter, but within they are full of extortion and excess.
26 Thou blind Pharisee, cleanse first that which is within the cup and platter, that the
outside of them may be clean also.
27 Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye are like unto whited
sepulchres, which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead men's
bones, and of all uncleanness.
28 Even so ye also outwardly appear righteous unto men, but within ye are full of
hypocrisy and iniquity. (Matthew 23)

While we tend to identify ourselves with Jesus’ disciples, we are more like the Pharisees than
we realize. Examine the ways in which you portray yourself to yourself and others, while comparing
your actions and emotions, and you are likely to find that you portray yourself as better than you really
are.
When we portray ourselves differently to reality it is because we are believing an illusion. Satan,
the father of lies (see John 8:44), is the master of creating illusions. He uses a mixture of truth and lies
(light and darkness) to deceive us in order to lead us to believe we are better or worse than we are.
When we are drawn into an illusion, what we perceive does not match reality.
We then in turn create illusions for others when we portray ourselves as being more fulfilled,
better parents, happier, and so on than reality. One illusion we sometimes try to create is seeming
more beautiful, thinner, and younger than reality. We use make-up, anti-aging techniques, and plastic
surgery to create this misrepresentation. These things can lead to an excessive focus on our
appearance, when the state of our heart is what really matters to God (1 Samuel 16:7). We also tend
to portray ourselves as more righteous than we really are. Through actions that others can observe,
the things we say, or the way we pray, we depict ourselves as pure in heart and full of charity. Instead,
if others could see our hearts, as God can, they would see we have sin and impurity in us, where we
become quickly offended, or irritable, or frustrated with others, among other things. Furthermore,
some like to portray themselves as closer to God through the things they do not say, alluding to
spiritual experiences they have not had. All these things are illusions, giving others false ideas about
our standing before God. These illusions (as well as others not mentioned) are hollow and
meaningless, leading us to feel better about ourselves and our lives. Yet, the reality is they make us feel
worse in the end, because they are not based on truth.
These illusions or false beliefs are much like the roots of a tree, underground and mostly not
visible to ourselves and others. Illusions are incredibly difficult to perceive and when we are unaware
of what we actually believe about the nature of our true self, we end up acting and speaking in
inauthentic ways. We say one thing and act another. This is not always intentional, because we are
blind to many of our beliefs and our character. However, there are things of which we are aware and
we sweep those things under the rug, hiding them from others. We allow the beast to continue to lurk
in the shadows, distracting ourselves or continuing to entertain the false beliefs we have about
ourselves, despite the evidence showing that our beliefs about ourselves are not completely true. While
these illusions may seem to uphold us, they are actually like a house of cards and when the storms of
life come, they will at some point fall. In the end, illusions always damn us from progressing
spiritually. They always form a barrier between us and God, since coming to Him involves seeing and
living things as they really are.
Like roots, our false beliefs are generally tangled and intertwined with each other and in order
to replace our understanding with God's truth, it takes much time, patience, perseverance, and work
to uncover and untangle them. They rarely uncover themselves. Furthermore, some are deeper than
others and are harder to remove. We have to constantly be trying to seek them out and replacing them
with truth. Without great desire to uncover our false beliefs, we will never be open enough to recognize
that some of the truths we cling to so vehemently are actually not true. As we identify our underlying
beliefs, discern what is false, and learn and assimilate what is true, our root system will no longer be a
tangled knot that gives little life to the tree. However, the minute we stop seeking to know our false
beliefs, our progression slows and we are left at Satan's mercy. In effect, we become damned in our
progression.
As we slowly untangle the roots and determine what our false beliefs are and replace them
with truth, we are able to develop humility. We see ourselves and others more from God's perspective.
It is our humility that enables us to develop Christlike attributes and characteristics. On the other
hand, there is nothing quite so dangerous as the pride that leads us to consider ourselves pure and
holy before God. We may not explicitly think: “I am better/holier/closer to God than so and so.”
However, inside we compare and we praise ourselves for the ways in which we are better than others
is pride. Pride is difficult to overcome because it is either something we are not consciously aware of
or we believe it to be legitimately true and justified. Furthermore, self-hate is another aspect of pride.
When we self-hate or self-pity, we focus on ourselves and until we let go of that, we will never be
humble.
One day a Canaanite woman approached Jesus and begged him to heal her daughter. Jesus
ignored her and his disciples begged him to send her away. Think about how you would respond in
that situation. Would you walk away in a prideful huff? Finally, Jesus said he was only sent to the lost
sheep of Israel. She continued begging him and he referred to her as a dog, saying, “It is not meet to
take the children’s bread, and to cast it to dogs.” Consider how you would feel if you were treated like
this by Jesus. What about being treated like this by some other person? Would your pride lead you to
get offended, angry, or despondent? Not this woman! Whether she struggled with pride in the past or
not, she responded to Jesus testing her, “Truth, Lord: yet the dogs eat of the crumbs which fall from
their masters’ table.” This is humility! She saw herself as she was and embraced that truth. Jesus then
exclaimed that due to her great faith her daughter was healed. (Matthew 15:22-28)
While our public beliefs are often erroneous, leading us to portraying ourselves as better than
we are, our core beliefs are often false too. These core beliefs stem from fear that we are not loved by
others nor God, because deep down inside we know, yet we do not accept, we have aspects of
ourselves that are broken. In a sense, our false views are in place to protect us from the pain of
knowing we are broken. It is painful to learn things that go against the way we view ourselves, which
is why those aspects of ourselves stay in the shadow of unconsciousness. This pain can be felt in a
variety of forms, including (but not limited to) resentment, hatred, self-pity, guilt, anger, depression,
jealousy, disappointment, embarrassment, envy, the slightest irritation, helplessness, hostility,
vulnerability, impatience, destructiveness, violence, somber mood, shame, frustration, desire to hurt,
victimization, rage, or anxiety.
In part, our pain stems from our non-acceptance of reality. We resist the way things are and
we resist our negative emotions. Much of the time we tell ourselves that we deserve better and that
we ought to be having pleasurable experiences instead of painful ones. When we judge our experiences
as bad, it almost always leads to the experience of pain. Furthermore, we do not accept others as being
where they currently are in their journey. With these false beliefs, we blame and judge others as the
cause of our pain. Blaming others for the way we feel is a way to release those painful feelings, believing
someone else has to be responsible for our pain. It becomes very natural to blame when we clearly
see what lies in another’s shadow, but blaming shifts our attention onto things we cannot change and
away from obtaining wisdom from God about ourselves. In essence, we create a scapegoat by
projecting our feelings onto others as a way to avoid looking inward. (If we believe the problem is
with another person, we are projecting our own fear onto another.) While we feel somewhat relieved
of our pain when we blame others, the reality is it only increases our pain and leads to our trying to
control others. However, as we accept ourselves (including our pain) and others for where we are in
our journey, we diminish at least some of the pain we feel. This acceptance does not mean we are
complacent and not interested in growing. It means we understand that we have things to work on
and we are not trying to hide or fight those things.
At times our core fear leads to a feeling that we lack something. As a result, we feel incomplete
or never good enough, which leads to us constantly craving, wanting, needing, or controlling. We
think, “When I obtain this or that, I will be happy, free, and content with life.” However, even after
attaining these things, the void is still there. We still feel the same about ourselves, because it is like a
bottomless pit that we can never fill. The only one who can fill it is God, yet how often do we turn to
him?
When we experience emotional pain, we can choose to deny the problem or face it, but so
often we refuse to accept the problem by seeking comfort from the world, instead of from God.
Sometimes we fight against the pain and try remove it. We hide and alienate ourselves from others.
We may try to numb ourselves through our thoughts and actions to avoid experiencing the feeling.
We distract ourselves through friends, social media, food, busyness, purchasing new things,
recognition, seeking the next best thing in life, aggression, alcohol, drugs, dwelling on the past or the
future in our thoughts, and so on. This is idolatry when we search for anything other than God’s love
to complete us and be the source of our happiness. Solomon, in searching for what brings fulfillment,
determined that alcohol and possessions (among many other things) do not bring lasting happiness:

3 I sought in mine heart to give myself unto wine, yet acquainting mine heart with
wisdom; and to lay hold on folly, till I might see what was that good for the sons of
men, which they should do under the heaven all the days of their life.
8 I gathered me also silver and gold, and the peculiar treasure of kings and of the
provinces: I gat me men singers and women singers, and the delights of the sons of
men, as musical instruments, and that of all sorts.
9 So I was great, and increased more than all that were before me in Jerusalem: also
my wisdom remained with me.
10 And whatsoever mine eyes desired I kept not from them, I withheld not my heart
from any joy; for my heart rejoiced in all my labour: and this was my portion of all my
labour.
11 Then I looked on all the works that my hands had wrought, and on the labour that
I had laboured to do: and, behold, all was vanity and vexation of spirit, and there was
no profit under the sun. (Ecclesiastes 2)

The reality is that these things temporarily cover the pain by replacing it with pleasure, except
the pleasure is invariably replaced with more pain within a short time. The more we fight it or flee
from it, the greater the pain, since the pain does not actually leave, but remains dormant within us and
at some point, some event will occur in which that pain is triggered and resurfaces.
If we want to change the way we deal with pain, we have to see our pain differently. Sometimes,
like Christ, we suffer through no fault of our own. These experiences come because the people around
us are broken. However, often we experience suffering because we are broken inside and this
brokenness leads to bad choices. Some of these choices we make may be deliberate sin, while other
choices come because we are unaware of the ways in which we are broken and often have no idea
how to change. No matter the cause of the suffering, no suffering we experience is without purpose.
Every experience of suffering is provided to allow us to transform our ego and the beast within and
repent. Once we have repented and removed the illusions and the beast within, this suffering can still
help us grow in our obedience to God. Even Jesus used his suffering to grow. Paul wrote that Jesus,
“Though he were a Son, yet learned he obedience by the things which he suffered.” (Hebrews 5:8)
Our negative feelings always suggest there are things for us to overcome and learn. In fact,
pain is a vital part of the journey towards conquering the beast and ego, since the pain can lead us to
obtaining vital information on what needs to change within us. Furthermore, the more pain we can
tolerate, the more we can learn. Helen Keller once wrote, “Character cannot be developed in ease and
quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired,
and success achieved.”
If we want to progress towards wholeness and redemption from the fall, we need to learn to
embrace our pain and our emotions rather than trying to escape them. This involves using our pain
to explore our mind and heart whenever we experience it. Instead of resisting it by hiding or distracting
ourselves, if we stay present with the negative feeling, we can inquire within ourselves what we are
experiencing. We can ask God to enlighten our minds. This involves digging deeper to see what we
are feeling and what beliefs we have that led to this feeling. As we focus our attention on our emotions,
we become the observer of what is happening within us. God can help us see the beliefs we do not
realize we have and see which are false. This requires us being brave, because often what we learn is
ugly. Sometimes the things God shows us about ourselves and the things we believe in can feel very
uncomfortable, if not outright painful, but it is necessary if we are to overcome it. This demands that
we embrace vulnerability.
When we explore our emotions, we have to focus on ourselves and what is occurring within,
and not blame others for our pain. For example, say your child has done something to create
frustration within you, it is easy to blame the child for creating your negative emotions. However,
blaming others for what we are feeling and experiencing is not taking ownership of our progression.
We will never overcome the ego and the beast if we blame others. As we move from blaming others
to exploring our beliefs about ourselves and who we truly are inside, we can discover those things in
our ego and shadow that need work. “The purposes of a man’s hearts are deep waters, but a man of
understanding draws them out.” (Proverbs 20:5)
One effective way to increase awareness of what is within is to write down our experiences
and then explore why we feel, think, and act in particular ways. Through writing, we can explore why
we may be experiencing that pain, as well as consider what we believe may have led to this experience.
Instead of asking ourselves, how do I make these negative feelings go away, we can ask: What are
these feelings? Why am I feeling lonely/sad/stupid? What am I resisting? What do I need to surrender
to grow? How can this situation lead to my growth? What purpose does this situation serve? What do
I need to learn during this uncomfortable experience? (Too often we think about what the other
person needs to learn, however this is not helpful for our own journey.) What can I learn about myself?
What can I learn about others so that I can love them more deeply? How can I love others more?
Asking such questions opens our hearts and minds to the voice of God and will help us discover lies
we believe regarding our sense of self. God will answer our questions and help us understand ourselves
better (James 1:5).
We can also help us express the truth that God has given us, reiterating to ourselves that we
are loved and we can become love. Our writing can and will foster our development and growth; it
will increase our self-awareness of our all our beliefs, including those we do not realize we have. It is
then that our pain turns into wisdom. James wrote that it is by obtaining and understanding truth from
God that we can become new creatures, but this requires us listening more.

14 But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed.
15 Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished,
bringeth forth death.
 18 Of his own will begat he us with the word of truth, that we should be a kind of
firstfruits of his creatures.
19 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak,
slow to wrath:
20 For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God. (James 1)

Since our attention is what our mind is focused on and the things we focus on leads to what
we learn and discover, if we do not pay attention to our own internal state, we will not learn and
become conscious of that which is hidden within, including our false beliefs and our weaknesses. The
process of exploring our negative emotions enables us to be become more present during the day. We
become more aware of our own state—our feelings, thoughts, and genuine intentions and
motivations—as well as the state of others. At times we mislabel so many of our experiences and
interactions with others. When we become aware that we have a negative thought, we can consciously
decide to change our thoughts mid-thought. We can then move from a state of unconsciousness, that
is, a reliance on lies and incorrect labelling of our experiences (both internal and external) as well as a
reliance on ingrained patterns and modes of being, to a state of consciousness or awareness where we
are increasingly aware of that which we previously hid. This brings that which is in the dark into the
light. We become aware, and not just while we are experiencing emotional pain.
Watching ourselves always brings unconscious beliefs into awareness. Becoming conscious of
the things we hide from ourselves and others is a process which is rooted in our ability to be present.
Since becoming conscious of those things that are hidden is uncomfortable, and often incredibly
painful, we have to make the choice to accept whatever is going on in the present and see it as our
instructor, there to teach us and help us grow.
We then have to implement those things we learn from God. If we do not, we see
ourselves as we are and effectively sweep the things we perceive under the rug, just as the
Pharisees did, and we end up forgetting what God has revealed to us. It is only through
obedience to what God reveals that we can change our false beliefs.

21 Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with
meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls.
22 But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.
23 For if any be a hearer of the word, and not a doer, he is like unto a man beholding
his natural face in a glass:
24 For he beholdeth himself, and goeth his way, and straightway forgetteth what
manner of man he was.
25 But whoso looketh into the perfect law of liberty, and continueth therein, he being
not a forgetful hearer, but a doer of the work, this man shall be blessed in his deed.
(James 1)

With the experience of pain, it is common to think this is a permanent condition that it has
always been this way and always will be so. Instead, consider pain as a temporary state of the mind
and it will change. Due to its temporary nature we need to use that time for seeking greater awareness
than before. That window of opportunity does not last forever.
When we understand how vital pain is to our learning and growth, we will not only accept that
we are feeling pain in a specific moment, but we will be grateful for it. James wrote, “Count it all joy
… when you meet trials of various kinds.” (James 1:2 ESV) Intolerance for emotional discomfort and
pain is a significant reason why we do not progress. There is no learning taking place while we focus
on our own self-protection through disengaging, defending, attacking, and distracting. Instead, as we
embrace our pain and as a result move through the negative feeling, instead of away from it, we can
begin looking more deeply within. We can focus on obtaining answers from God about what we are
not aware of within us. James wrote, “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to
all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.” (James 1:5) Through the process of
asking questions, we are able to transcend the pain and suffering because we gain insight into it. The
negative experience becomes a positive experience because it is an opportunity for growth. Over time
our tolerance for pain will grow. Our wisdom increases with our capacity for embracing all of our
feelings that arise within us. We will come to understand who we truly are as God sees us and we will
no longer feel the need to hide and be ashamed. As a result, we no longer feel fear as we face the beast
within. We will have the confidence and the faith to conquer it completely.

Death of the Beast

Wholeness requires us both changing our ego to a sense of self based solely on truth and
killing the beast in the shadows, while allowing God to purify us and help us become beings of love.
Conquering the beast involves changing our instinctive ways of reacting, which are based in fear, not
love. When we kill the beast, our old fearful self dies and a new self built on love is created. This is
the death of the self. It is essentially laying ourselves on the altar as an offering to God. Paul wrote, “I
am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now
live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.”
(Galatians 2:20) The new self that rises from the ashes is willing to do whatever God asks, no matter
how hard it may seem and no matter how painful the experience will be. It means no longer following
after our own will, but God's alone. It means being pure and filled with charity. This is what leads to
redemption. Jesus referred to killing the beast as losing your life and as denying yourself.

23 And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and
take up his cross daily, and follow me.
24 For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my
sake, the same shall save it. (Luke 9)

Jesus compared us to wheat. Until the shell of the wheat kernel dies, the germ of the wheat
cannot grow and develop. Likewise we have to kill the ego and the beast in order to become what
God desires to become.

24 Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die,
it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit.
25 He that loveth his life shall lose it; and he that hateth his life in this world shall keep
it unto life eternal. (John 12)

The death of the beast entails overcoming all our sin, both that which is outward and that
which is in the heart. Since this means that we will only desire and do God’s will, if we knowingly sin,
it means we are not yet dead to self. Sin is inherently selfish and always unloving. Sin is always based
in fear. Thus, when you sin, consider in what way you have not yet killed the beast.
Multiple times Paul spoke about this idea of death to self. To the Ephesians he said that we
put off the former man and become renewed, putting on the new man. When we remove sins such
as, bitterness and malice, we are then able to be kind and filled with love for others.
 22 That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt
according to the deceitful lusts;
23 And be renewed in the spirit of your mind;
24 And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and
true holiness.
31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away
from you, with all malice:
32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God
for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you. (Ephesians 4)

Paul also stated to the Romans that when we die to self we no longer sin and we become alive
in Jesus, loving and acting as he would:

6 Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with him, that the body of sin might be
destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin.
7 For he that is dead is freed from sin.
11 Likewise reckon ye also yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God
through Jesus Christ our Lord. (Romans 6)

So much of our sinful self comes from a lack of self-control, but as we conquer the beast, we
move from being driven by instinct and impulse to becoming aware of our internal state and having
self-control. In other words, we are no longer controlled by unconscious thoughts and our emotions.
Throughout the Bible we are told to have self-control. Proverbs 16:32 states, “He that is slow
to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.” Paul wrote,
“And every man that striveth for the mastery is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a
corruptible crown; but we an incorruptible.” (1 Corinthians 9:25) James declared, “For we all stumble
in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle
his whole body.” (James 3:2 ESV) We can only develop self-control as we move from fear to a spirit
of love. Paul wrote, “For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” (2
Timothy 1:7 ESV)
Overcoming our fears also means we no longer need to control others. While we learn to
control ourselves, we also let go of trying to control others. In other words, we do what we believe is
right, while allowing others the opportunity to act, think, and believe as they choose. We love them
enough to allow them to act according to their desires. This does not mean that we allow others to
walk all over us, but we do not need to control them. Moreover, this also does not mean that we do
not try to help and guide others, but it is done in the spirit of love and not based on our selfish desires
to eliminate our own discomfort.
While some people attempt to overtly control others, others try to please others in order to
be accepted and understood by others. Those who want to please others have built their sense of self
on how others view them. This means we have put another in the place of God. That is idolatry.
Building ourselves of our spouse’s view or our children’s or parents’ view of us will lead to our feeling
worthless when the other person treats us in a way that seems unloving. How another views us will
never lead to us feeling consistently good about ourselves, because other people’s views of us
constantly change. Then, in those moments when we do not like how we feel about ourselves, we
blame the other person when in reality it is our faulty sense of self that is to blame.
Leah desperately wanted to be desired and accepted by her husband. She hoped that each time
she bore a son, her husband would love her in the way she desired to be loved. However, finally after
her fourth son she had learned to place her sense of self in the Lord and she accepted things as they
were, no longer trying to change others or her situation.

30 And he went in also unto Rachel, and he loved also Rachel more than Leah, and
served with him yet seven other years.
31 And when the Lord saw that Leah was hated, he opened her womb: but Rachel was
barren.
32 And Leah conceived, and bare a son, and she called his name Reuben: for she said,
Surely the Lord hath looked upon my affliction; now therefore my husband will love me.
33 And she conceived again, and bare a son; and said, Because the Lord hath heard I was
hated, he hath therefore given me this son also: and she called his name Simeon.
34 And she conceived again, and bare a son; and said, Now this time will my husband be
joined unto me, because I have born him three sons: therefore was his name called Levi.
35 And she conceived again, and bare a son: and she said, Now will I praise the Lord:
therefore she called his name Judah; and left bearing. (Genesis 29; emphasis added)

When our sense of self is based on the views of others, we try to control others in subtle ways.
However, this almost never works out the way we hope and we end up feeling worse about ourselves.
When we turn to God for approval, we move away from being a people-pleaser and we are willing to
be disliked. We move away from our greatest need to be loved towards learning how to love others
unconditionally, despite how they view us.
The ways in which we try to control others are usually subtle; we judge, blame, criticize, or
withhold affection in an effort to control. Rarely do we obtain the results we expect, because most
often our judgments and criticisms stem from our own fears of not feeling loved. Much of the time
these actions and attitudes break others down and threaten our relationships. Paul, in writing to the
Romans about differing beliefs in eating practices, spoke about allowing others to act in accordance
with their beliefs. He says there is no need to quarrel over our varying beliefs, instead we can find ways
of building the faith of another and helping them on their journey, without trying to move them
towards the journey we expect them to be on:

1 As for the one who is weak in faith, welcome him, but not to quarrel over opinions.
2 One person believes he may eat anything, while the weak person eats only vegetables.
3 Let not the one who eats despise the one who abstains, and let not the one who
abstains pass judgment on the one who eats, for God has welcomed him.
4 Who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another? It is before his own master
that he stands or falls. And he will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make him stand.
5 One person esteems one day as better than another, while another esteems all days
alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind.
10 Why do you pass judgment on your brother? Or you, why do you despise your
brother? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God;
11 for it is written, “As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every
tongue shall confess to God.”
12 So then each of us will give an account of himself to God.
13 Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather
decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother.
19 So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.
22 The faith that you have, keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the one who
has no reason to pass judgment on himself for what he approves.
 23 But whoever has doubts is condemned if he eats, because the eating is not from faith. For
whatever does not proceed from faith is sin. (Romans 14)

Sometimes our reaction to another is a means to control the other person. If we are to fully
explore the intentions behind our actions, we may find that we believe that if we are angry enough,
domineering enough, happy enough, depressed enough, or anxious enough, others will change their
behavior and their beliefs and attitudes.
If we are to stop trying to control others, we need to eliminate all our needs, expectations,
hopes, and dreams we have of others. While these constitute beliefs held in our ego, removing them
are key to us no longer controlling others. It is when we are able to abandon these things, that we can
not only be completely open to God’s will, but also be filled with love for others. To the Galatians,
Paul said that those who are Christ’s have eliminated their own selfish desires: “And they that are
Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.” (Galatians 5:24)
There is a difference though between a want and a need. If we expect or need another to speak
kindly to us, it can lead to us demanding (either directly or indirectly) that this need be fulfilled. If we
do not have that as a need, but simply a desire, we can request that another will speak kindly to us,
but we will not demand it and instead continue to show love in the way God desires of us, despite
how they speak to us.
Too often we punish others for not doing as we expect, but if we do not have expectations of
others, our behavior will be unconditionally loving and will not reflect how they treat us. (Sometimes
love is suffering the unkindness and other times it involves walking away. Examining our hearts and
motives can help in determining if our actions are truly loving or not. The Lord will teach us how to
love ourselves and others, and as a result knowing and understanding God’s will is essential in knowing
how to show love.) While we think we are protecting ourselves from the actions and words of others
with various defense mechanisms, most of the time we are damaging our ability to love others and
they cannot feel loved by us. We make it harder for others to believe they are capable of changing,
because we encourage them to feel the fear that they are not worthy of love. Regardless of what our
response might look like, we never withhold love due to how another is treating us. This means that
no matter how we are treated, we respond with love and how that looks depends on the situation and
the will of God.
Trying to control what you cannot control always leads to deep unhappiness! Letting go of
controlling others always places us in a position to learn more about ourselves and others. Instead of
judging another, we can be curious about why a person is behaving in a particular way.
Letting go of controlling others requires us to be meek. Meekness involves our patient
endurance of suffering without resentment or bitterness. The heart of meekness is both self-control
and not seeking to control a situation or others. It is strength to resist giving into temptation when we
are suffering. In other words, meekness is in essence, submission. The world has an incorrect
understanding of submission. Submission is not about doing everything and anything another says.
Instead, submission has to do with not seeking to control.
In First Peter, Peter discusses not only the necessity of suffering as we traverse the path
towards becoming more like Jesus, but how we ought to respond to that suffering. When we suffer as
a result of the words and actions of others, it is only natural to resist those experiences and try change
the situation or people involved, or treat them in the same way they treated us. However, trying to
control situations and people is not submission. It is not submitting to the path God has set before
us so that we can kill the beast and become more like Jesus. It is not meekness.
In chapters two and three, Peter discusses what submission entails. He begins by speaking to
servants, then to wives, followed by husbands, and finally to everyone. In examining how Peter
describes submission, it is clear that submission is not about obeying another; he never mentions this.
The only person we ought to obey is God. God may tell us to do as another says, but in the end, we
are obeying God and not man. In addressing servants, Peter says:

19 For this is a gracious thing, when, mindful of God, one endures sorrows while
suffering unjustly.
20 For what credit is it if, when you sin and are beaten for it, you endure? But if when
you do good and suffer for it you endure, this is a gracious thing in the sight of God.
(1 Peter 2, ESV)

Peter wrote that it is so much more impressive when you respond well to undeserving harsh
treatment at the hand of another, than if you respond well to harsh treatment you brought on yourself.
Peter then says, “Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands.” (1 Peter 3:1) As he
begins speaking to each group, he says “likewise” meaning that the advice to the previous group
applies to the following group. In other words, the instruction given to servants applies to wives and
the instruction to servants and wives applies to husbands. Over and over Peter discussed the need to
treat others with love when they cause us to suffer in some way. When Peter addressed everyone he
wrote:

8 Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren,
be pitiful, be courteous:
9 Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing
that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing. (1 Peter 3)

This is how you show meekness. This is how you submit. You have compassion for the other
person. You love them. You do not return the same treatment back to them. Several times Peter
referred to Jesus as the ultimate example of meekness:

21 For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an
example, that ye should follow his steps:
22 Who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth:
23 Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not;
but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously. (1 Peter 2)

Responding only with love when we are being treated badly or go through some really difficult
experience requires great self-control. It takes self-control not to react with anger or to retreat
emotionally. While meekness involves not controlling others, it also always requires controlling
ourselves and the way we react in difficult, painful situations. Just as with other Christlike attributes,
the development of meekness is reflected in our behavior and attitudes towards God and others, even
though it is a condition of the heart. In other words, the amount of meekness we have can be measured
by how we respond in situations involving suffering and how we react when we are treated badly.
Despite the fact that we know we ought to be meek and have self-control, when we experience
emotional pain, it is very difficult to respond in ways that are truly loving. Most of us occasionally (or
often) find ourselves in situations where we experience an emotional and/or psychological reaction
to something said or done by another. In other words, a button has been pushed and our hearts and
minds begin to race. We become charged up on the inside. Those things said or done are emotional
triggers. If we look deeply enough we can determine that we feel offended or hurt. The trigger is a
signal to us that this is a situation in which we struggle to be unconditionally loving. We tend to be
unconscious of these triggers until we have reacted as a result of them, often with emotional outbursts.
 Most of us find ourselves regularly trapped in cycles of reacting when we experience a trigger.
Usually in those moments we find ourselves immediately reacting automatically to the other person
or the situation involved. We do not think about how to respond, but we react in negative ways, saying
or doing things we later regret. When we experience emotional pain, it is only natural for our actions
and words to follow suite. Our instinctual reaction is simply the beast within rearing its ugly head. This
reaction, however, is never based in love and it is not aligned with how God would act. Rather, it is
based in fear, because our hurt stems from our ego and shadow being threatened. In the end, we
struggle to know in those moments that we are loved.
When Jesus was on his way for the final time to Jerusalem, he passed through a Samaritan
village. These Samaritans, recognizing that Jesus was continuing towards Jerusalem, would not host
him while he was in that village. James and John reacted by wanting to destroy those people. This was
not a response based in love, but stemmed from their own internal and emotional fears. Jesus
recognized that and corrected them:

51 And it came to pass, when the time was come that he should be received up, he
stedfastly set his face to go to Jerusalem,
52 And sent messengers before his face: and they went, and entered into a village of
the Samaritans, to make ready for him.
53 And they did not receive him, because his face was as though he would go to
Jerusalem.
54 And when his disciples James and John saw this, they said, Lord, wilt thou that we
command fire to come down from heaven, and consume them, even as Elias did?
55 But he turned, and rebuked them, and said, Ye know not what manner of spirit ye
are of.
56 For the Son of man is not come to destroy men’s lives, but to save them. And they
went to another village. (Luke 9)

If we are interested in acquiring God’s character, we cannot allow ourselves to react in such
ways. We have to learn how to respond in loving ways. Consider how you would automatically react
if someone hit you across the face. Most people would respond in anger. In his Sermon on the Mount,
Jesus proposed we respond in deliberate, loving ways:

38 Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth:
39 But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy
right cheek, turn to him the other also.
40 And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy
cloak also.
41 And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain. (Matthew 5)

Every person begins as an infant, aware of very little. This lack of awareness means we have
no control over bodily functions, but at some point, we need to learn to be potty-trained. In order to
do so, we first have to sense the discomfort within ourselves and then learn how to act appropriately.
Similarly, spiritually-speaking, initially we have little self-awareness, but through paying attention to
the discomfort within us, we can learn to control and overcome the impulses of the beast within.
Awareness of our emotional pain is the precursor for responding (with love) instead of reacting (with
fear), which is at the heart of having self-control.
While we may not yet be completely aware of the full extent of our ego and shadow, an initial
awareness of what is going on in our body and mind when the negative feelings first begin to surface
is vital to develop. With practice we can recognize when we are experiencing an emotional reaction,
that is, when we are triggered or a button has been pushed. Are our hearts pounding or our thoughts
racing? We have to learn to recognize that something has happened even if we do not fully understand
it immediately. We become the spectator or the observer of ourselves when we notice our mood has
shifted or when we have become tense and suddenly feel aggressive or agitated. In a sense, we become
both the observer and the observed.
Becoming the spectator requires that we accept our negative emotions. Accepting them means
we do not try to push them away or cover them. Instead we move into a space where we seek to
understand them. This requires learning to tolerate the emotional pain we experience, without acting
on it. Once we recognize that we are experiencing emotional pain or some negative reaction within,
we gain access to the shadow and ego. Feelings, especially when they are uncomfortable, are essential
for developing increased awareness of ourselves, because if we choose, we can learn something about
ourselves every time we explore them. Then, as we allow the emotion to reside in us, it soon
evaporates.
The problem comes when we experience these various emotions but do not realize we are
doing so. When that is the case, those unacknowledged feelings often lead to all kinds of harmful,
unwanted, and unintended actions and decisions that we probably would not make if we were aware.
Furthermore, if we do not act out in an attempt to discharge the emotion, we tend to shut down and
pretend it is not happening. This is as a result of fear. Repressing the pain always causes us to react
later, often unconsciously.
When we become aware, we create a space between action and reaction. We can take a breath
and we can tell ourselves that we have a choice on how to respond. The key is to notice the emotion
and then pause. It is only through pausing that we can take the position of the spectator. We can
subsequently respond with wise problem-solving and decision-making. We become freed from our
automatic knee-jerk emotional reactions. We move from reacting to responding. We move into a space
where we can problem solve, instead of taking actions we later regret. This provides space where we
are able to respond in loving ways, without blaming and judging.
Whether during the experience or later, we can explore exactly what happened when we were
triggered, asking God to enlighten us. Doing so removes the tendency to blame and criticize others
based on our false assumptions and allows us to understand our own internal world, instead of
focusing on external behavior alone. This means we can remove the root of our behavior (i.e. the ego
and the shadow) instead of simply cutting away the branches, or our external behavior, which always
tend to regrow in new ways.
We may find while we become able to give a loving, controlled response to a person who does
or says something that triggers us, we still feel offended. When we feel offended by what another has
done or said, we can know that we are attached to something and we do not accept things as they are.
We also may not yet understand or belief who we truly are. When we become offended, this usually
stems from us trying to defend who we are or our beliefs. We want to be right and it leads to our
wanting to control the other person. However, when we see other’s words and actions as revealing
their internal state, we do not need to become offended. We do not need to take things personally.
We can reflect on who we know we are and what we know to be true. Furthermore, we can use that
experience as an opportunity to learn more about them and what is going on inside of them. We can
also use it as an opportunity to learn more about ourselves. This is a perfect situation in which we can
explore our beliefs and allow God to lead us closer to what is true. If our view is false, this gives us
the opportunity to learn truth and if their view is false and we are offended, we will not use the
experience to learn more about them and ourselves. Becoming offended always leads us to suffer
needlessly. However, when we do not take things personally, we move into a space where we no longer
fear being rejected and we can just focus on loving others, because offense and hurt always stem from
a fear that we will be rejected, abandoned, or not loved. As we accept others and ourselves as we truly
are, and as we use the situation to learn, we will find that those things that previously triggered us, no
longer do.
All of our experiences, especially the challenging ones, provide us with opportunities to
overcome our fears and develop love for ourselves and others. However, our deepest and greatest fear
requires more. It requires that we face that fear head-on. It requires that we move through experiences
in which that fear is brought to the surface and we have to confront it. Through these experiences,
God shows us that we have no need to fear and we can completely rely on him. As we rely on him,
we can become pure and holy before him.
In the end, bringing these negative aspects of ourselves into the light of consciousness is the
only way to conquer them. Through defeating the beast, we diminish our fear. We increase our love
for ourselves, God, and others. Overcoming the beast within us is a process. It is done bit by bit each
day, just as you would carefully and slowly carve away the stone in order to create a statue. It requires
experiences, which God will prepare you for. The process is painful, because it is hard letting go of
needs, expectations, and false beliefs. It is difficult learning to control ourselves, while not controlling
others. However, once a portion of the beast has died, that aspect no longer hurts. God will lead us
as much as we allow him. He will move us towards wholeness and redemption. This is where our
greatest happiness lies.

Transcending Suffering
It seems evident from the ways in which we overcome the ego and the beast that painful
experiences are vital. In part, this is why trials and suffering are a common part of life: How else would
we be transformed? These experiences vary in their nature and intensity and while we may not suffer
daily, most of us have difficult experiences at least fairly regularly, which are often out of our control.
At times they may involve losing something, such as a job, a home, or a loved one. They may also
involve painful interactions with another person, such as a difficult co-worker, spouse, or children.
Trials can also result from not having something we really desire, such as sleep, health, children,
marriage, or financial stability.
Faith is accepting God’s will for us and the experiences he gives us. We may know that he is
a God of miracles and could potentially take the pain and the suffering away, but what if he does not?
Would that cause you to doubt in him? Would that cause us to become bitter or depressed? After
Nebuchadnezzar made a large golden statue, the people were commanded to bow down and worship
it when music played. Those who did not would be thrown into a furnace. Shadrach, Meshach, and
Abednego would not under any circumstances bow down to the statue, and some of the Chaldeans
complained to the king. The king was angry and questioned them, again commanding them to worship
the image. They responded, “If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning
fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of thine hand, O king. But if not, be it known unto thee, O
king, that we will not serve thy gods, nor worship the golden image which thou hast set up.” (Daniel
3:17-18) Nebuchadnezzar had the fire heated seven times hotter and had the men thrown into the
fire. Those who took the men to the fire died due to exposure of the intense heat. Then,
Nebuchadnezzar noticed that despite only three men having been thrown into the fire, there were
four walking around in the flames and that the form of the fourth seemed like the Son of God. God
had saved them! Their trial was not taken away, but they were made able to bear it, because of their
great faith, accepting whatever experiences God allowed them to have.
While some are saved from a specific trial, others are not saved and the experience is God’s
will for them. There are many examples in scripture of people who were not saved from the
experience. For example, Stephen was stoned and (according to tradition) Isaiah was sawn in half.
How easy it is to have faith in God when we are saved from the trial, but what if we are not? What if
we have to suffer? Like Job, who said, “Though he slay me, yet will I trust him,” can we say that God
is good no matter what happens in our lives? It is so much harder for people to have such faith while
enduring suffering because despite many prayers, the trial is not removed.
Too often we hope for God to remove the trial. However, what if that suffering is the perfect
learning experience? What if we need that suffering to become pure and to learn to love more like
Jesus? Painful things may come into our life, but God always uses all these things to give us
opportunities to become more like Jesus. Just as weeping precedes joy (John 16:20-22), as we use the
suffering to become reconciled to God, we will one day experience great joy.
There is an interesting story in John 9 about a man who used his experiences to transform
himself. Jesus comes across a man who was born blind:

1 And as Jesus passed by, he saw a man which was blind from his birth.
2 And his disciples asked him, saying, Master, who did sin, this man, or his
parents, that he was born blind?
3 Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the
works of God should be made manifest in him. (John 9)

Although this man did not bring about the blindness through any actions of his own, God
allowed him to be born blind so that the works of God could be “manifest in him,” or in other words,
he could experience a transformation within as a result of the experience. His blindness was given to
him to help him progress further than he could if he had always had his sight. It is evident that the
experience had no impact on his parents (see John 9:20-23) and it had no bearing on the Pharisees
(see John 9:28-29,34). This experience was for him. In the end, he was different because he had
suffered. It enabled him to have faith and believe in the Son of God (see John 9:35-38).
Job is another man whose actions did not lead to the suffering that he experienced, but God
allowed him to experience that suffering in order for a transformation to take place within him. Job
was a righteous man, but after experiencing sustained suffering he began to curse the day he was born.
He felt very depressed. Although he continued to believe in God, he was really struggling. The length
of the trial began to crack Job’s outer layers and enabled him to see what needed to be changed within.
Eventually he used the experience to transform himself. He developed greater faith (verse 2 below).
He repented of things of which he was previously unaware (verse 6 below) and was enabled not only
to hear the Lord, but to see him (verse 5 below). He would not have been able to have that experience
without the suffering he endured. Job said,

2 I know that thou canst do every thing, and that no thought can be withholden from
thee.
3 Who is he that hideth counsel without knowledge? therefore have I uttered that I
understood not; things too wonderful for me, which I knew not.
4 Hear, I beseech thee, and I will speak: I will demand of thee, and declare thou unto
me.
5 I have heard of thee by the hearing of the ear: but now mine eye seeth thee.
6 Wherefore I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes. (Job 42)

The transformation within us takes place to the degree we trust God. That is, our willingness
to surrender to him determines how much we will be transformed. For example, there were two men
in the New Testament who were not fully surrendered to God, yet they recognized Jesus. After healing
these two blind men, Jesus commanded them not to tell anyone about the healing, but they
immediately went out and told everyone about it (Matthew 9:27-31). Their transformation resulting
from their suffering was not to the point where they were willing to obey Jesus, surrendering their
own need to tell others of their experience.
Suffering and pain can be understood like large waves in the sea. There are several ways we
can react to the waves that come. First, we can be overcome by the wave and drown in the water.
When we do not use the experience to transform ourselves, the pain can lead to a spiritual death in
us, where we have no determination left in us to continue to follow God’s will for us. Second, we can
hold our nose, close our eyes, and just wait for the wave to pass. In this case, we are simply waiting
for the experience to cease, hoping it will move swiftly on by. There is little or no impact on the
development of our character during the experience. Growth may occur after the pain subsides, but
it is less than it could have been. Third, we can have sufficient awareness to know the pain is coming
and we can get behind the wave and rise above it, allowing it to carry us to new destinations. In this
case, we use the experience of pain and suffering to help us grow in ways we could not have anticipated
without the experience. In other words, we transcend the suffering.
Learning to transcend our suffering is vital if we are going to progress towards wholeness.
Transcending it involves using the experience to make ourselves more like Jesus. It means changing
our character and overcoming our fears. It means using the experience to become love.
Rising above our painful experiences begins with accepting that life is filled with suffering and
changing our attitude towards pain. When unpleasant events occur that are completely out of our
control, we assume that the experience is God’s will for us. We believe that every crisis represents an
opportunity and is designed for our spiritual growth. For example, when the Israelites were struggling
with idolatry and rebellion, God allowed Babylon to conquer them in order to give them the
experiences they needed in order to repent. Even though the Babylonians were not followers of the
God of Israel, God used them as a kind of “servant” to create the perfect experience for the Israelites
to wake up from their spiritual slumber. Furthermore, anytime a relationship with someone seems like
it is not working, and there is conflict, we ought to see it as an opportunity to become more conscious
of what is going on within, as well as develop according to God’s will. Relationships are the perfect
source of experiences for growth.
As long as we wish that the things out of our control were different and that we were not
going through that experience, the window of opportunity for learning remains closed. Overcoming
our suffering always requires us surrendering what we may want, and accepting what God wants. We
give up our attachment to how we imagine things should be and become more concerned with what
is happening within ourselves. Incidentally, when we acknowledge and accept things as they are, we
actually obtain some freedom from them, because the meaning of the experience changes.
Once we understand the purpose of our suffering, we are able to use it to transform in ways
we could not have done previously without the suffering. Too often we try to overcome suffering by
transforming others. Instead, we are to use it to transform ourselves, because our suffering is never
present to change others. It is there for us, just as Job’s suffering was given to him to enable him to
change and repent.
Becoming increasingly conscious of what is going on within ourselves increases our rate of
growth: what we are feeling, what we believe, what our weaknesses are, and so on. It requires
uncovering the ego and seeing the beast within us, understanding what actions and thoughts stems
from fear and what stems from love. When we are in touch with our own emotions, we have easier
access to the unconscious beneath.
The more we grow, the greater will be our capacity for pain. Things that were painful before,
often are not so painful anymore. We become capable of experiences that are even more painful,
which then enables even more growth. However, life is not all pain. It is not all suffering. The more
pain we feel, the more joy we can feel. The pain carves our cavities in our souls, which can then be
filled with love. It is in feeling love for others that we experience the greatest joy.
As Jesus taught his disciples and tried to prepare them for his eventual death and resurrection,
he explained that sorrow and suffering are an intrinsic part of the journey:

19 Now Jesus knew that they were desirous to ask him, and said unto them, Do ye
enquire among yourselves of that I said, A little while, and ye shall not see me: and
again, a little while, and ye shall see me?
20 Verily, verily, I say unto you, That ye shall weep and lament, but the world shall
rejoice: and ye shall be sorrowful, but your sorrow shall be turned into joy.
21 A woman when she is in travail hath sorrow, because her hour is come: but as soon
as she is delivered of the child, she remembereth no more the anguish, for joy that a
man is born into the world.
22 And ye now therefore have sorrow: but I will see you again, and your heart shall
rejoice, and your joy no man taketh from you. (John 16)

Jesus compared suffering to childbirth. Labor and childbirth are incredibly painful, but a
mother looks forward to the hope of her child’s delivery. Although a mother is aware that a birth is
coming and may even have an idea about when the birth will occur, the exact timing is unknown. In
other words, labor is a combination of both expectancy and uncertainty. However, when the birth
occurs, the amount of joy felt is overwhelming.
Despite the journey of rebirth not being painless and without crisis, we do it because we have
a hope of what is to come. When we strive to become a new person, it begins with heeding the word
of God and using whatever God teaches and instructs us to become transformed. In other words, we
symbolically are conceived by the Holy Spirit. Then as we use our experiences to progress, it is as if
we are growing a new version of ourselves. This new version no longer has a fear of not being enough
or not being loved, but is secure in who they are and in God’s love for them. They have conquered
the ego and the beast and everything about them now stems from this love.
When Nicodemus came to Jesus, Jesus taught him about what it means to become a new
person. He stated that it is analogous to being born again. Being “born of water and of the Spirit” at
one level implies baptism by water and baptism by fire and the Holy Ghost (Matthew 3:11). However,
the baptism by water and by fire and the Holy Ghost points towards the baptism that occurs as we go
through specific experiences God has designed for us. One day James and John came to Jesus saying,
“Master, we would that thou shouldest do for us whatsoever we shall desire.” (Mark 10:35) After Jesus
asked them what they wanted him to do for them, they asked to sit on either side of Jesus after this
life. Jesus responded, “Ye know not what ye ask: can ye drink of the cup that I drink of? and be
baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with?” (Mark 10:38) They declared they were willing and
Jesus stated that they would indeed experience the baptism he experienced. This baptism involved all
the necessary painful experiences required in order to surrender everything, being born a new person,
whole and redeemed.
Rarely is there another way to learn the things God asks us to learn and overcome than through
suffering. Even Jesus was required to endure great suffering and pain. Jesus in the Garden of
Gethsemane asked his Father if there was perhaps another way. Very quickly, however, Jesus knew
there was no other way to accomplish the Father's will and he replied, “Father, all things are possible
unto thee; take away this cup from me: nevertheless not what I will, but what thou wilt.” (Mark 14:36)
Paul wrote that it was through his suffering that Jesus was able to be made perfect: “For it became
him, for whom are all things, and by whom are all things, in bringing many sons unto glory, to make
the captain of their salvation perfect through sufferings.” (Hebrews 2:10) If suffering was required of
Jesus, how much more is it required of us!

Suffering and Love

If love is about extending effort to enable the development of others, and Jesus in his sermon
on love and obedience said, “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his
friends,” (John 15:13) then at times God will ask us to suffer in order to provide the opportunity for
another to repent or grow.
When we consider Abraham’s sacrifice of Isaac, rarely do we consider why Isaac willingly
offered his life. Paul wrote,

17 By faith Abraham, when he was tried, offered up Isaac: and he that had received
the promises offered up his only begotten son,
18 Of whom it was said, That in Isaac shall thy seed be called:
19 Accounting that God was able to raise him up, even from the dead; from whence
also he received him in a figure. (Hebrews 11)

Isaac was willing to lay down his life so that his father could pass a test. His willingness to
offer his life in this way showed that he loved God and his father more than himself. Isaac, being a
type or figure for Christ, exemplified Christ's love for his father.
This kind sacrifice is much like a mother who offers her body (and sometimes her life) to birth
a child. Pregnancy is uncomfortable; childbirth is painful. In “losing” her body, she gives life to
another. Similarly, the painful experiences God may ask of us are never easy. It is the kind of
experience where we ask, “Is there any other way? Please take this bitter cup from me!” Nevertheless,
as God says, “There is no other way,” we willingly surrender everything because we love God and
others, knowing this is the only way for another to progress. We willingly suffer for others, laying
ourselves on the altar for others. We do so because we love. Paul wrote that love “beareth all things,
… endureth all things.” (1 Corinthians 13:7) It is because of love that we are willing to submit to
suffering. Without love and willingness though, our suffering will be in vain. Paul expressed, “And
though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have
not charity, it profiteth me nothing.” (1 Corinthians 13:3) Then, just as a mother develops a deep
abiding love for her child, the sacrificer develops even greater love for the one they sacrificed
themselves for.
When we offer our lives as a sacrifice for others, we need to make sure we are doing it at the
Lord's request. Sometimes we can have in our minds the idea that the sacrifice we are offering is what
God wants, but instead we are doing our own will. Our own will may seem very godlike and charitable,
but when we are not doing God's will, we are doing our own. One of Satan's greatest tactics is to lead
us to be distracted with things that really aren't God's will and we may think we are “laying down our
lives” for God and others, when in reality we are laying down our lives for ourselves.

The Hero’s Journey

Several people have written about the journey of transformation towards wholeness as the
hero’s journey. Throughout mythology, literature, and film this journey is found, but it is also found
in many of the Biblical stories. Those whose journeys are described in the Bible are archetypes. In
other words, their lives provide patterns for understanding our own lives. There are times where we
may notice ourselves experiencing something similar to Noah or Abraham or Ruth. Seeing these
patterns in our lives can provide us with increased meaning to the difficult and painful experiences we
have.
Although the context of every individual’s journey differs, there are aspects of the hero’s
journey reflected in each story and the stages of each journey usually follow a similar sequence.
Exploring the journey we undertake towards redemption from the fall through the lens of the hero’s
journey can be helpful.
The journey for each of us begins in the ordinary world where we are following the status quo
and we do not fully understand ourselves within. We may feel victimized by the environment,
constantly triggered by people and circumstances, and find ourselves reacting with conditioned
responses. Our ideas are imposed by the world in terms of how we ought to act and be. This is how
most people live their lives, blind to how they became that way and uncertain about how to change.
However, one day a call to undertake a journey is given to each of us and we have the
opportunity to leave life as it was and begin the adventure of a lifetime. This call is to sanctify oneself,
to slay the beast and overcome our greatest fear, to come to know God more, and to work towards
wholeness and redemption. Sometimes our fears and insecurities lead us simply to decline the call,
preferring to lead an ordinary life, remaining blind to our true self and estranged from God. Yet, the
call will keep coming. Ignoring the call from God will, however, lead to difficult experiences not fully
understood, because it is only through this journey that we come to understand the meaning and
purpose of our difficult experiences.
When we accept the call to make this journey, we are given mentors who provide instruction
and help as we begin the journey. As we decide to go on this journey, we surrender ourselves to God,
trusting that he will be our guide. We commit to all the experiences he will take us through, knowing
it will bring the greatest blessings. Life will never be the same again, because it is not long before we
begin to learn truth which will completely change our perspective and we know we cannot remain
ignorant.
As we begin our journey, the challenges begin. These trials bring about our initial
transformation, but ultimately, they prepare us for the ordeals that lie ahead. As we move successfully
through our challenges we are given further knowledge and understanding. We learn more about
ourselves, God, and others. This knowledge is to aid us in overcoming that which lies within.
Throughout these tests we are learning all we need in order to move successfully through the ordeals
ahead. While we may fail some of the tests, eventually we are transformed sufficiently to move forward
to the next phase of the journey.
The first ordeal is the biggest challenge we face yet. The purpose of this experience is to give
us the opportunity to begin slaying the dragon, or more specifically, overcoming our greatest fear.
During this experience, we face this fear and it feels like death. We are moved into our biggest blind
spot. We hit rock bottom and everything that is hold dear is put on the line. However, this crisis is an
opportunity for us to learn vital things we did not previously know. It helps us overcome so very much
of the things we struggle with inside.
While we cannot imagine going through anything worse, it is actually a preparation for the
final challenge. We always have to slay the dragon twice and all the previous steps serve to prepare us
for this ultimate conquest. The final battle is the climactic ordeal, where our greatest fear is faced one
last time before being overcome for good. This is when the beast and the ego finally die, which is
ultimately what we went on the journey to do. It is a death of the self, and is the only way to be reborn
and transformed. In other words, without this death of self, there is no transformation and there is no
new life. These experiences are vital for us to become whole and redeemed from the fall, returning to
God’s presence while in this life. Once this battle has been won, we return to the ordinary world where
we began, but we are a completely transformed person. We are now free from our greatest fear. We
know of God’s love for us and our actions stem from that love, instead of fear. We now have the
responsibility to share our knowledge with others and help others embark on their own journey.
This journey is reflected in Psalm 51. David understood the path towards redemption.
(1) David recognized he was born broken and sinful: “Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did
my mother conceive me.” (Psalm 51:5)
(2) David acknowledged that the Lord desired to change his inner self and teach him more: “Behold,
thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know
wisdom.” (Psalm 51:6)
(3) David was willing to allow the Lord to take him through the flood waters and the fire in order to
become clean, knowing that the process will break him, but in the end, he would become a new
person:

7 Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
8 Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may
rejoice.
9 Hide thy face from my sins, and blot out all mine iniquities.
10 Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. (Psalm 51)

(4) David recognized that this process would enable him to be in the Lord’s presence: “Cast me not
away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me. Restore unto me the joy of thy
salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.” (Psalm 51:11-12)
(5) David expressed his desire to now teach others in order for them to experience the same
redemptive blessings: “Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; and sinners shall be converted
unto thee.” (Isaiah 51:13)