THE AWAKENING

VOLUME I
By:

Kenneth Daniel Hamlin

This Book is Dedicated to my children Jazmin and Triston, who showed me what love is.

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 ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS:

I want to take this time out to convey my deepest gratitude to everyone who has aided me

along this journey. I am not someone who cannot acknowledge what others have done for me in

the last year to get me to the point that I am today. When it comes down to it what has been

given and shown to me is love by everyone that I will speak about shortly. I have been given the

opportunity to experience relationships and friendships with everyone in the last year which has

help define who I am. In the beginning when all this happened to me, I was at a point in my life

where I was starting to lose my compassion and empathy for others. I understand now why

everything happened and I have accepted responsibility for everything. I would never say that I

was never at fault but sometimes the Universe intervenes in our lives and if we can tune into the

right frequency and allow our life to be guided instead of fighting everything and everyone that

gets in the way, we can become so much more than what we are. I have lost friendships from the

past but gained new friendships in the present. Everyone whom I surround myself around now is

meant to be in my life. I do not lower myself for anyone and I will not entangle with anyone who

tries to bring me down. I know longer need to raise my voice to get my point across, I can be

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who I want to be by knowing and understanding who I am. Who I am is who I have always been

I had to just remember and re-awaken to the truth!

I would first like to thank my two children Jazmin and Triston. Without the two

of them, I know that I would have been lost. They were what saved me from the turmoil and

chaos of what I experienced last year. This is what love can do, for when love is what you fight

for you can never lose. The love from my children gave me the ability to overcome everything

and anything. What I have with my children can never be broken for our love is pure. Only the

purest of hearts can experience the love my children and I have for one another their love is what

made me walk again, there love pushed me through all my pain and suffering, their love allowed

me to become love and for that I am eternally grateful. There are no words to say what you have

given me. Therefore, I will show the two of you all you have done for me, through my actions

not just my words. For anyone can talk about love but to become love and live in a state of love

is something entirely different.

To my daughter Jazmin, please know you will always be my heart. There is

nothing for which I would never do for you. Watching you become the beautiful spirit that you

are, has brought me such happiness and peace. I cannot imagine a world without you in it.

Everyday that you are here I know love is being given freely. Every time I see you, I am amazed

of all that you have become. Never let anyone tell you that you cannot be anything you want.

Always go high when someone else goes low, I cannot wait to see and experience everything

that you do in your life, I promise that I will be cheering for you every step of the way. Jazmin,

you have wisdom beyond your years, I am so thankful for what the Universe has given me. You

have a beautiful spirit and an amazing aura that is magnetic with everyone and everything you

touch. I love you Jazmin and I know the last year was extremely difficult, just know there is

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nothing and no one that can keep me away from you. By now you know that I always come

back. Jazmin, you saved my life more than you ever will know. I thank you, my princess, you are

amazing!

To my son Triston, know you are today what took me forty-years to become. That

which is love. When I was your age son, I was able to show love the same way that you show.

Unfortunately, my life hardened my heart and I had forgotten who I was. The love that you have

shown me softened my heart again and allowed me to become who I am today. Your strength

and courage at such an early age is a gift son and never let anyone tell you who you are. You

have always known for who you are is deep within and you have been able to express that at

such an early age. I am in awe when I see your compassion and kindness your smile and laugh is

contagious, and you bring so much happiness to others which is a beautiful thing to see. I know

this last year has been extremely difficult for you. I know that so much happened that you are

confused about and one day son you will know everything that happened. I still want you to

enjoy being a child and when your time comes, I know you will be ready. What you and your

sister Jazmin have done for me cannot be expressed with words, I just want you to know that I

will always be there for you no matter what. There is no greater gift in this world than being your

father nothing even comes close. Thank you, Triston.

To Vince Barton a great mentor and even better friend. To my brother whom I

have known since the Marine Corps, you are the that which a friend really is. For a true friend is

someone who stays in the room when everyone else walks out. Everyone single one of my

friends walked out of the room brother except for you and since that time only one more of them

has joined you. I am not sure what I can say to tell you what this means to me. In-fact there is no

man on this planet that I would trust with my life besides you for I know that even if all hell

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breaks lose you will always be by my side. I have met plenty of people in my life but not too

many genuine friends. This, is why, you will always have a place in my heart because without

you last year I am not sure where I would be today. You were there when nobody else was and

for that I am eternally grateful. You have seen both sides of the spectrum when it comes to

dealing with me, you saw who I was in the Marines, and you see who I am today. Thank you,

brother for without your wisdom and guidance I would not be here today.

To Brandon Adolphus the only person who came back into the room even after

you left. I want to take this time to acknowledge that what you did took courage Brandon.

Courage is defined as having the ability to do something that frightens someone. I know that I

frightened you and because you had the courage to come back into the room, I have an even

more profound respect for you. What you did was not easy, and I know that you were hearing

from other so-called friends to stay away from me. Understand that what you did was an act of

love for love is fearless and love does not worry about what others think for love has the courage

to see behind the veil and you made your own decision not based on somebody else’s opinion. I

love the conversations that we engage in now brother because what we can talk about is rare to

be able to share with someone without feeling ridicule or condemnation. I know that you have

been with me every step of the way and for that I will be eternally grateful. Know that I will

always be there for you brother no matter what.

To Corrine Alvarez the mother I never had. What can I say about the woman who

showed me more love in the two months I stayed with her and the last nine months of phone

calls and texts, than I have received from my entire birth or adopted family! I have to say that I

have met some beautiful spirits in this world but there are few that compare with you. The love

that you give freely to everyone is a beautiful gift. When I first met you, I want you to know that

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I was hurting tremendously. I was already touched by the offer your son had given to me to stay

with you. There are no coincidences in this world, and everything happens for a reason, I know

why I met you and the love you showed me was exactly what I needed at the time. This was

much more than mind love for what you showed me was a universal love that you shared with

everyone. The charity and generosity that you show to others was amazing to see and partake in.

There are no words to describe what it meant to me to spend those two months with you and

your family. In all due honesty you filled my heart with love again, for though I had all the love

in the world for my children the love I had for humanity was quickly diminishing. This is what

you gave me a gift that I will forever cherish for you allowed me to see the good in people again.

You gave me the strength to keep fighting no matter what and to never give up. You are the

epitome of what the word mother is, for I have met plenty of parents in my life, I have not met

many mothers. I could feel the love that came from your children, what I felt was a sense of

gratitude and compassion that your family had for one another. There were no masks being worn

to hide their true selves which is all I seemed to grow up around. It was a breath of fresh air

being around you and your family for those two months and it is a moment that I will forever

cherish.

To Johnny Alvarez the father I never had. I have not met too many men I respect

more than you Johnny. You have the rare gift of being humble and appreciating everything that

you have. That is hard to find these days. What I saw in your character was as heartwarming as

you can feel from someone. There was no awkwardness with you and I and I know that is

because we both know what it is to appreciate life. To live in the moment instead of depressed

about the past or anxious about the future. There was no mask on your face as there are with

most people in this world. What I saw is who you are, I am grateful for the time we spent with

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each other. I will cherish the conversations that we had. I know that you care deeply for your

family and there is nothing you would not do for any of your children. The strength and courage

that you carry from within is the knowing that love is the only truth. One does not need to be rich

to have wealth, what you have Sir is wealth, for you have been showered with something that is

priceless. Which is the love that your family has for you. I have come to appreciate the things

that you cannot buy, and what you have you cannot buy, for it is given freely and only grows the

more it is given Johnny. Thank you, for allowing me into your home your love, compassion,

humbleness, and generosity is truly mesmerizing.

To Timothy Dennis, I want to say thank you, for introducing me to your family.

Though we were not able to spend that much time together while I lived with your family, the

time we did spend with one another I am thankful for. Thank you, brother for opening your heart

and family to me, I will always be here for you brother no matter what. Stay strong, and we will

see each other soon.

To the entire Alvarez family, I have met some endearing people in my life but the

love that I felt from all of you was utterly amazing. At the time I could ask for no more than what

was given. What was given was exactly what I needed at the time. I had begun to give up on

people, and after the experience I just had it was truly a blessing to be able to spend time with all

of you. Thank you, for welcoming me into all your homes, I was truly honored and humbled by

your empathy and compassion.

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ix
 PREFACE:

To the beautiful spirits that helped me along on this incredible journey that I have been

on in the last year. When one knows thyself, then one becomes who they have always been.

Everyone should know awakening is not for a chosen few, it is for everyone. We have just

forgotten who we are and the time to remember is NOW. We are consciousness and awareness!

We must rid ourselves of old ideologies and stop allowing what we have been told to believe and

follow as exact truths. Experience is the greatest teacher in life. We have been led to believe in

false truths which have dictated and controlled our lives for far too long. Fear must be dispersed

with the precipitation of love. Fear is the currency for the darkness, there is no darkness without

fear. You always attract what you fear. Fear is an emotional transformation of energy and when

this emotion is dispersed you will attract what you fear. When love becomes a state of being

there is a constant flow of energy within you, which transforms everything outside of you. The

love you disperse will connect with anyone vibrating on the same level. Hence the phrase like

attracts like.

To everyone who has not awakened know that the NOW is all that exists. This is the key

to knowing how to live. For when one can live in the moment then there is no past or future. You

realize one cannot think of either or without being in the NOW, anyone who lives in the moment

does not allow the past or future to dictate their lives. The past and future is a construct designed

to keep you in a constant low vibrational state. Only through a heightened level of consciousness

and awareness can we overcome the battle we are in for the mind. For whomever lives in the

past, lives in a state of depression, everyone who worries about the future lives in a constant state

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of anxiety. We, as a society, have not figured out how to stay in the moment and live in the

NOW. One cannot think about the past without being in the present and one cannot think about

the future without being in the present. When we can learn to live in the present, we will have

peace within ourselves. Everything is energy vibrating on different frequencies in constant

movement. We must realize that change will only come when we are willing to change

ourselves. Everything is interconnected far greater than what most can imagine. When we can rid

ourselves of the separation and division within ourselves, we can create a state of balance and

harmony. Dis-ease is the improper balance of energy that restricts our vibrations, which causes

us to live in a low vibrational state. Fear has become the currency of life and when one lives in a

state of fear, they have asked death to come knocking on the door. The time has come for

everyone to awaken from the coma of life.

How has humanity come to this point? Where we would rather live in a world that

promotes hate rather than love. Oh, how we have lost our way. Love must become the focus of

existence. Otherwise, true change will never come. Unfortunately, humanity has lost its way.

Humanity will start to see change when we decide to stop taking and start giving. Before we do

this, we must know that change only comes when your heart, mind, and spirit, are pure. Love is

the only way through which life comes, otherwise it deadens the spirit. Love must become the

binary purpose of life, for it is the fabric of all existence otherwise humanity will continue to

suffer needlessly. Unfortunately, we live in a selfish world, to preoccupied with all the wrong

things. Hating instead of loving, taking instead of giving, living selfish instead of selfless,

reacting on emotion instead of responding with intuition, and we wonder why there is so much

needless suffering. Humanity must change, for when man decides not to love humanity suffers.

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Love must become the bedrock for our existence, for humanity to be restored. Love can only be

kept when it is given selflessly.

“There is a false and momentary happiness in self-satisfaction, but it always leads to

sorrow because it narrows and deadens our spirit. True happiness is found in unselfish love, a

love which increases in proportion as it is shared. There is no end to the sharing of love, and,

therefore, the potential happiness of such love is without limit.

Thomas Merton No Man Is an Island

So, what is it to know your true self? Not the self that we put on display for the world to

see, but the self that hides deep within. The self, full of inadequacies that we are scared to share

with one another, because we do not want to be judged the wrong way. So many of us believe

that by portraying this other self we will better ourselves in this world, that is the farthest from

the truth for it is when we liberate ourselves from this foolish thinking that we start to understand

exactly who we are. We must get rid of these ignorant ways of thinking so that we may express

ourselves fully to one another. We must all ask this question, why would we rather lie to

ourselves and everyone around us, so they only understand a part of who we are? For when you

lie to yourself you kill the everlasting spirit that lives within. We live in a world of infinite

possibilities but are so afraid to reach for them. Fear has controlled our way of thinking for far

too long. If you have love inside of you there is no room for fear. The two cannot coincide with

one another. Fear leads to hatred, and if you hate another person what you are saying is that you

hate yourself. “Where minds are full of hatred and where imaginations dwell on cruelty, torment,

punishment, revenge and death, then inevitably there will be violence and death.” (Thomas

Merton Seeds of Destruction) We hate so much we hate ourselves, and project that hate onto

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everyone and everything that we come across. This hate has a crippling effect on society and

begins to infect everyone who responds to it.

The problem with hate is, that we use it as a force of power. People feel helpless without

power, and power has infected humanity to the point where everyone is striving to have it. When

people crave power there is usually and underlying reason for it. Power is more addictive than

any drug, for once you get a taste of it, you only want more. Unlike most drugs when you take

them the first time your brain and body will feel the most effect. When it comes to power, the

moment you get a taste for it you will crave it like a drug. In all actuality though it grows the

more you aspire to have it. Craving such a thing as power is a dangerous game, for you are

always on the alert and defense afraid of anyone who you meet because you are always

wondering if they are trying to take your misguided power. Think of how we idealize men and

women of power, society has turned men and women of power into some sort of demigod. If we

cannot wake up to the idea that we have been played in the game of life, then humanity will

continue to suffer. We are taught from birth how the few want us to think, this must change for

we are so much more than mindless sheep in a herd. We have become so programmed in one

way of thinking that we believe this is the only way to be. This is not the case we have lived long

enough under the control of the few and believing their ignorant ideologies. Now let us for one

minute think about that for a moment. How many powerful people do you know personally?

Most individuals know of powerful people, but they have never met them before. Why do you

think that is? So-called powerful men and women do not surround themselves with what you

would call your average person, unless it benefits them in a sense of gaining more power and

influence. We will delve into this topic of power, later in this book, to give you better

understanding of the toxicity of craving such a power and the price you pay for achieving it.

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 This world cannot and must not continue, on this path for it will lead to our destruction.

We have become what we should all despise, everyone out for his or herself. This may be the

most selfish act that we can commit on this planet, and yet we continue to live this way because

we do not consider the ramifications of what this kind of thinking will lead to. Selfishness is a

disease that spreads like a brushfire, destroying every ounce of humanity that is within us. When

this occurs, we are living for ourselves and not realizing anything around us. When we live for

ourselves and not for others how do we grow? We must continue growing and experience new

things by constantly adjusting our thoughts and behaviors. When you constantly adjust and adapt

to everyone and everything around you, you begin to realize the importance of always learning

and never staying stagnant.

Being able to read others is the key to unlocking most doors that stay closed. Understand

this, by unlocking these doors you will begin to understand the way the world really works.

Unfortunately, this is a disheartening fact, if you have sense of morality running through your

body, for you are taught growing up to be kind and thoughtful and treat others with respect.

Think of the hypocrisy of that statement, for if that was the way the world worked, we would not

have to reach for heaven to find happiness we would live in heaven and create happiness. If you

want to unify your life, unify your desires. If you want to spiritualize your life, spiritualize your

desires and to spiritualize your desires, you need to desire to be without desire.

There is only so much learning that you will receive from books, you, need to go out and

experience life to get a clear understanding of the way the world works. Ever notice that when

you go to school at an early age, they really do not explain the way the world works. They do not

talk about all the psychological, political, and social games that are played in just about every

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facet of work and society. So many children grow up with dreams of what they might become

but have no idea how to navigate through society and the harsh reality of how cruel this world

can be. Everyone thinks of war as only a job for the military, this is completely, false, for war is

fought every-day in our society that we live in because we no longer want to work for one

another, instead we would rather work against each other. Think about that for a moment, so you

understand the political warfare that is on display everywhere. If you do not learn quickly how to

adjust to everyone and everything you will be left behind. I find it amazing that we are literally

lied to about everything when it comes to navigating our lives properly. How unfortunate life has

become that you must learn this evil way of thinking to get through life with less heartache and

suffering.

“Some men believe in the power and value of suffering. But their belief is an illusion.

Suffering has no power and no value of its own. To believe in suffering is pride for pride may tell

us that we are strong enough to suffer, that suffering is good for us because we are good.

Humility tells us that suffering is an evil which we must always expect to find in our lives

because of the evil that is in ourselves.”

Thomas Merton No Man Is an Island

I am writing this book, as a sense of inspiration, motivation, or for anyone who has gone

through a traumatic experience. This book is also written for anyone, who does not know what

their purpose on this Earth is. For the last two years, I have been searching for an explanation of

what happened to me in the last two years. For when your consciousness has been awakened you

go searching for the answers. The first thing everyone needs to know is knowledge is borrowed

it is wisdom that is given. Even when you think you have grasped the wisdom you have gained

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you have only scratched the surface. To sit here and say for the first forty years of my life that I

lived the right way would be a lie. In fact, I lived the wrong way not worrying about the

consequences of my actions. I had lied for so long. I believed my own lies. I did not want anyone

to see all my inadequacy's. I have realized how much my words and actions have hurt so many.

One never realizes how much their words can hurt but believe me your words have a ripple

effect that carry consequences. I am certainly not proud of the man that I was, for I know I have

hurt a lot of people. My, pride and wrath, brought me to my breaking point two years ago and if

it were not for the love and charity of others I would not be here today.

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 Chapter I

THE PURPOSE OF LIFE:

“Man is not an island, nothing is. All is interrelated, all is interdependent. Independence

the very word is false, so is dependence. The reality is interdependence. Everything is so deeply

connected with everything else that nothing can exist apart. If you can understand a small rose

flower in its totality, root and all, you will have understood the whole cosmos, because the whole

cosmos is involved in that small rose flower. In the smallest leaf of grass all is contained.”

The Mystic Osho

I wonder how many people have asked these questions? What is my purpose and why am

I here? The answer should be simple and in all essence it is. The problem with answering this

question is we have forgotten who and what we are. We do not live as working unit or group,

instead we work only for ourselves. Humanity has become selfish and until we all come together

as a collective unit, we will continue down this path of destruction. Life is the beautiful creation

in ourselves that we portray to others. Regardless of race or religion we must come, to the

understanding, that everyone is equal. All one must do is open their eyes and they will see that

this is not the reality that we live in. Our reality is cruel. We have been taught from an early age

and from the institutions of education the wrong way to live. Greed, prejudice, hate, and

manipulation have taken the place of love, compassion, empathy, patience, and understanding.

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 The fate of humanity rests with our children so why are we allowing the few to dictate to

the many? Their beliefs and insane ideologies should have no bearing on our children’s lives.

We are, what we know. What we know is wrong because we have been taught for so long wrong

behaviors and truths. So many of us refuse to acknowledge the truth, so we continue, on the

same destructive path that has no bearing in this world. If we do not learn from our past and

attempt to consider new ways of thinking, how will we ever learn what we are capable of? We

have been taught hate for so long that we hate ourselves. How is this possible? Have, we learned

nothing from our past? Why would we learn anything from our past especially in the United

States when we cannot even speak of the past honestly. If we cannot come to terms with our own

past, how can we begin to create a better present? There is so much to learn from our past as a

nation that speaks about being the one nation everyone should resemble. We do not resemble

truth! We resemble a nation divided amongst one another not united. Refusing to acknowledge

the history that for so long has been passed down from generation to generation. What are we

teaching our children? Why has the seed of hate been planted so deep? Hate has infected every

aspect of our society and our children our suffering from this way of thinking. In my life I have

seen the worst things imaginable, but I refuse to allow all the hatred from my past to control who

I am in the present.

Ask yourself, is it easier to hate than to love? Absolutely not, hate is taught. No child

comes out of the womb hating one another but we have taught this concept of hate to them.

Imagine if instead of teaching hate we teach love. What a novel concept that seems impossible to

attain. We must create a different reality for our children based on love, passion, and

understanding. That way our children can grow up in a world that does not judge them for the

color of their skin, or their religious beliefs, the clothes that they wear, or how much money is in

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their parent’s bank account. We must get this intentionally cruel way of thinking out of our

minds. Ask yourself this question if you get to know someone how then can you hate them? Why

do we not take the time to consider this idea? I know that there is love in this world, but it always

seems to be overshadowed by hatred. Why? Because we continue to hold on to a past built on

wrong beliefs, morals, and ignorant ideologies.

Think about how many people have followed some of the evil men and women in

history. Is this how we truly feel? When will humanity, get off its knees and realize who and

what they are? We cannot continue, on this path of ignorant beliefs. We must come together and

see the strength in connections with one another. Working as a collective unit instead of a

singular unit. We must put aside our petty ways of thinking or we will continue this absurd way

of living. This is not just a white problem, or a black problem, or a brown problem, this is an all

problem. We blame the problems of the world on each other instead of coming together to fix the

problem. As, long as this ignorant way of thinking is past down from generation to generation

this problem will never be fixed. We continue to build on the false truths of the past instead of

acknowledging that this way of thinking is wrong. We must come to an understanding that when

we work together collectively and consciously, we can attain possibilities that seem impossible.

We must learn to use the power of love for one another not because we expect anything in return

but because we enjoy the love that we share selflessly. We cannot just love for the sake of

loving. We must get it out of our minds that love needs to be given back the same way it was

given. Do not be fooled in thinking that there is no such thing as selfish love, in fact this is one

of the problems we face, we love selfishly instead of selflessly. Selfish love is nothing more than

hate and if you give selfish love all you will receive is despair in your heart. This will harden you

because you believe in some false belief that the selfish love you have given is the proper love to

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give. We must learn how to give love properly so it can be received properly, when love is given

properly the reward is the act of giving the love correctly. Love given freely seeks nothing in

return for it is the act of giving love properly that is its own reward.

Love is the essence of who we are. Love is not just a concept it is the purpose of our

being. We must wake up to the harsh realities of how we live. We cannot continue to conform to

the false beliefs of what has been taught to us by the institutions that we put our faith in. We

must break from the prison which has been created that has enslaved us for so long. We cannot

continue to believe the false realities that we have been taught. These, false realities, is the

reason we live in a world that suffers for reasons that are unfathomable. There is no hope in

suffering, when we suffer without hope or understanding of why we are suffering we begin to

feel lost, and resentment and hatred begins to replace our values. Our lives and values must have

the proper foundation, without a proper foundation our lives will never hold. Our foundation

needs to be built with love and parents need to stop teaching hate instead of promoting love.

How will any child learn to grow properly, if their foundation, is built on a way of thinking that

is selfish and only benefits themselves. How has only living for yourself become the normal way

of thinking? This is who we have become, a society of self-indulged and selfish individuals

obsessed with the materialism and glamour of this world.

To further your life at the expense of others must be a philosophy that we must not

adhere to. We cannot further ourselves at the expense of others, and yet this country has been

built on this belief. If we continue to hurt others with no regard for the consequences of what

might happen because of our actions, then we will destroy more than we create. We cannot

create a better world for ourselves or others if we continue to destroy the very fabric of our

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being. Why do we continue to act in such a way that is counter-productive to our heart and

spirit? We fill all these aspects of our being with the wrong things and then wonder why we do

not feel pure happiness or joy in our lives. It seems for some reason that humanity would rather

continue down this path of self-destruction instead of taking back control of their lives and

awaken to the truth of who we are. Humanity has not just learned how to destroy ourselves or

others, we destroy everything we come, in contact with because we only look at our lives from a

limited view and perspective. There is too much negative energy being pushed into this world

than positive. How many of us must hate our own lives, that we want to push our own hate and

misery onto others, so we do not have to suffer alone. I know full heartedly the consequences of

what this does. For I lived this way for so long pushing away anyone who came to close to me

because I did not want them to see, my inadequacies. All, of my strength was on the outside not

on the inside. I could portray to the world this false belief because it helped me not have to think

about how much I was suffering on the inside.

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 CHAPTER TWO:

THE AFFECT OF SUFFERING

"When you are suffering, you become more understanding about yourself, but also about

other people’s sufferings too. The first step to understanding somebody is to understand their

sufferings. So then love follows."

YOKO ONO

To say that I have suffered more than others would be saying that my life is more

important than others. This is surely not the case. To suffer just for the act of suffering is pride.

We must consecrate our suffering into a belief that when you suffer it will lead to humility. We

our foolish to believe that there is some sort of mysterious power that comes with suffering. Yet

humanity continues to suffer for the sake of suffering. Who are we benefiting when we believe

in needless suffering? Humanity cannot believe in this convoluted way of thinking. We do not

suffer for the right reasons we suffer for the wrong reasons, and because we suffer for the wrong

reasons, we push our suffering onto others because if gives us a sense of self-gratification. How

selfish have we become that we push our own miseries and despair on others to make ourselves

feel better. If we allow suffering to control our way of thinking, there will be no time for growth

on the inside to help you get through your suffering.

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 Let us consider the full range of human suffering, for as we have learned how to live

longer, the more suffering and individual will endure. With this philosophy it would make sense

to say that the longer you live the more you will suffer. We cannot believe though, that the only

way to live is to suffer. Humanity, however, has not grasped this concept. Instead, we continue

to perpetuate the problem of suffering because we believe that it is easier to suffer, than to live in

a state of happiness. The problem is that because so many suffer and live in a state of despair, we

now believe that this is the only way to live. When did this become the normal? Think of the

energy that is used when you suffer, the problem is humanity has not figured out the meaning of

suffering so in that sense we feel lost. Everyone on this planet suffers, it is what we do with this

suffering that will define our life. Our we going to continue to allow suffering to control the

outcome of our lives, or will we find the purpose of our suffering and use it to fuel the will that

we all have to push through whatever suffering we may endure.

Pain is a physical suffering is mental. We must acknowledge the difference between the

two if we are going to get past these frequencies that are designed to keep us in this state. I have

experienced both. Physical pain is a contribution of our mental suffering. For what your brain

manifests your body will feel. Now it is not to say that there is no such thing as physical pain.

Physical pain is a signal that is transferred from the body which the brain registers as pain. Stop

the signal and you can suppress the pain. I know this sounds like nonsense, but I promise you it

is not. We have forgotten what we are capable of because those who continue to spread the lie of

what we are do not want you to know what you are capable of. If you allow the pain to take over

your mind you will now have created a problem that is extremely difficult to come back from.

The brain is such a powerful tool, but we have been fooled to believe that the brain is where we

get our wisdom and knowledge. Wisdom and knowing come from the heart; the brain is just a

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receiver and transmitter of this information. The brain thinks the heart knows. Most people have

experienced this, for this is what is called intuition. The heart cannot lie, it is the mind the

deceives and limits us. This is what those who have hoarded all the knowledge do not want us to

know because once humanity remembers what they are the game of fear and control is over.

People fear the unknown, mainly death and I promise you this is exactly what the system

wants you to believe. On top of this the system has systematically made it so we fear one

another. My goodness we are lost, walking around in an endless maze that we have helped and

encouraged to create. It is time to take back our lives from those who wish to keep us down on

their frequency level. We do not have to live in a state of suffering. Change your perception and

you change your reality. From experience when you allow suffering to control your life you no

longer have control of your life. Instead, what happens is your mind and body begin to live in a

state of despair. This is a dangerous way to live, for everyone has a breaking point when it comes

to suffering. True suffering will crush the strongest of men, because they allow their suffering to

fuse with everything that we hide because we do not want anyone to see our true selves. Trust

me, this is not a path that you want to take for it will only lead to misery and despair. We cannot

let our suffering manifest, or you will venture off into a realm that you cannot pull yourself out

of. When this happens, you have lost all will to live, this we cannot let happen for suffering

cannot be allowed to define us. When you get knocked down you have two options you can

either stay down or you get back up. For those who stay down they will never grasp the true

meaning of their suffering for those who get back up they will discover a new meaning to their

life.

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 Suffering cannot become the focal point in your life. All this will lead is to a

manifestation of false beliefs. We must make a choice in humanity, suffer for the wrong reasons

or turn that suffering into a type of motivation and drive that will allow you to understand the

nature of your suffering. We must grow from our suffering in a positive way not in a negative

way. That is the problem with suffering we continue not to grow from it in the right way instead

we deaden ourselves from suffering in the wrong way. Humanity and individuals run away from

the aspect of suffering because we believe there is some sort of evil connotation that comes with

suffering. The evil that comes from suffering is the evil that we harbor in ourselves that surfaces

when we suffer because we can no longer control our suffering on the inside, so we unleash it on

the outside for everyone to see.

The year 2015 was the year I was broken. That was the year I had my first spinal cord

surgery. An experience that would change my life forever. I had told myself that I could get

through anything because of everything that I had experienced in my life. This was my pride

talking, and I was about to get a crash course of what true pain really was. My, son Triston, was

born only four months before I had surgery. My ex-wife Kami at the time was thirty-two weeks

along in her pregnancy. We lived in Casper Wyoming and at the time, I was working for the oil

field as a machinist/programmer. The day after Thanksgiving my wife had a medical

appointment with her doctor. I was at home with our daughter Jazmin who at that time was four

years old. While at home, I received a phone call from Kami saying that she was going into labor

and that she was going to have to be life flighted down to Denver Colorado, because they did not

have the capabilities at the hospital in Casper to give birth to a child who was going to be so

premature. I remember my heart sank, and I was scared for Kami and unborn son. I proceeded to

start packing for I was told that I could be on the flight with them. Unfortunately, I could not

xxv
bring my daughter on the flight, so my Kami’s cousin Amber came over and said that she would

drive Jazmin down to Denver for us. When I arrived at the doctor’s office Kami and I, preceded

to get on a private plane. The emergency personal proceeded to lay my wife down and strap her

down to make sure that she was secure for the flight. I remember the look on my wife’s face at

the time, I knew how much she hated to feel claustrophobic, the plane was small and the way she

was strapped down put my wife into a state of panic. As I sat right next to her, I tried to calm her

down for I knew how important the next few hours were going to be. As the plane fired up its

engines, before I knew it, we were in the air. I wish I could say the flight, was a smooth flight.

Unfortunately, it was the complete opposite. I can still remember the look on her face, a look of

shock and terror. I did everything I could, to reassure her that everything was going to be fine. I

remember just talking and telling her to breathe. I cannot even imagine, how she must have felt. I

know she was scared, but she never wavered. Before we knew it, we were landing in Denver.

When we arrived in Denver, I was told that I would have to take a taxi to the hospital.

My wife was then life flighted in the helicopter to the hospital. I told her to stay strong and that I

would be there before she knew it. The medical staff then preceded, to take my wife and put her

on the helicopter. I remember running through the Denver terminal, even though my body at the

time was suffering. My pain was becoming so severe, that it was becoming hard for me to walk

let alone run. I did not care, I pushed through all the pain and preceded to grab a taxi. I

remember the taxi drive to the hospital, I had so many emotions running through my body so I

told myself no matter what we would get through this. When I arrived at the hospital, I found my

wife’s room and did not know what to expect. When the doctor came in, he told my wife and I

that he was going to give her medicine to stop the labor. The doctor wanted to give her medicine

so that my sons lungs would be stronger at birth. We agreed and proceeded to start a weeklong

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labor process that was excruciating to watch for Kami was having contractions all week long and

the pain was severe. I remember how my pain at the time meant nothing to me for I was not

about to complain about what I was going through, though she knew I was hurting.

My mother flew out to be with my daughter, so she could be distracted through this

emotional experience. Women have such a threshold for pain, they manage pain so much better

than men do. I was in awe of her strength and will to get through everything. I never left her

side, except to get something to eat. I did not sleep much for there was not anywhere for me to

sleep except a chair which seem to cause more pain than help. My, son Triston, was born

literally after midnight on December third. He would have to spend six weeks in the NICU. I

remember taking my wife to the NICU after he was born, and it will be a memory that I will

cherish for the rest of my life. As we sat and looked at our son, I knew that she was exhausted

and so was I but the joy that we felt knowing that he was doing well brought a sense of peace

and tranquility to us for all any parent wants is for their children to be healthy. I remember at the

time thinking how all I ever wanted in my life was to have a family. A family filled with love,

compassion, empathy, and support for one another. I knew the journey in front of us would not

be easy. Kami was able to stay at the Ronald McDonald house for the next four weeks and was

able to visit our son daily.

I had to go back to Wyoming and work, all I wanted to do was stay there but I knew that

it would not be feasible for me to stay, for I needed to work to make sure my family was taken

care. My son was able to come home right before Christmas and it will be a Christmas that I will

never forget. Unfortunately, my son was very colicky, and any parent who has gone through this

sort of experience understands the pain that comes with it. Every time my son ate, he would cry,

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his poor stomach just could not process the formula and for the next three months my wife and I

went through a very emotional time. I remember how my son would cry and it would bring tears

to our eyes for at times it seemed like there was nothing we could do. There were so many

sleepless nights and at times it seemed as if the days just ran into each other. My wife had to deal

with the brunt of most of it for I continued to work until the middle of March. I was three weeks

away from having surgery and it seemed as if my son knew and started not to be so colicky. This

was a blessing because my surgery was right around the corner, and I needed to prepare for what

was about to happen.

I had told myself that everything was going to be fine. I believed that I knew what pain

was and that I could get through anything. This was just my pride speaking for I had no idea

what I was about to experience. I thought at the time that we were going to get support from our

family members but not one family member came to help when I had my surgery. I knew that

this was going to be an arduous process and we wanted our family to come out, just so they

could help with the children. That way they did not have to see their father hurting and suffering

all the time. At this time, I had no idea that my life was about to change forever, and I told my

wife not to worry that I will get through this no matter what. Six months before my surgery I was

going through a lot of ailments. Everything started two years earlier when I had lost feeling in

my left leg and the pain in back was becoming severe and I was beginning to miss days from

work. My wife looked at me and said that it was time for me to go to the Veterans

Administration and figure out what was going on. I did not want to go because I knew that

something was not right and if you know me then you know how stubborn I am.

xxviii
 I lived in Casper at the time and the nearest VA hospital was in Sheridan, which was

around two hours from where I lived. I made an appointment and was told that I was going to

need to get an MRI so they could figure out the cause of the problem. I proceed to go get an

MRI, I was told a few days later that I had tumors in my conus medullaris. The Veterans

Administration said they were gong to refer me to a neurosurgeon to see what could be done

about the situation. I then began the process of going through back injections for the next few

months to see if this would alleviate the problem but unfortunately, this did not work. My

neurosurgeon and I agreed that surgery was needed to fix this problem. I was told that I would

need a laminectomy. For those who do no know what a laminectomy is, it is a type of surgery in

which a surgeon removes part or all, of the vertebral bone (lamina). This helps ease pressure on

the spinal cord or the nerve roots that may be caused by injury, herniated disc, narrowing of the

canal, spinal stenosis, or tumors. I decided to have the procedure and my neurosurgeon decided

we would perform the surgery three weeks later. I was told that I would be able to be back at

work after three months and that I would be feeling a lot better. I thought to myself this is not so

bad for I figured I would be back working in three months and would be living a better life

without so much pain.

Nothing could have prepared me for the experience that I was going to have. My

neurosurgeon said the surgery was going to last for three hours. This was not the case my

surgery lasted for over nine hours. I remember my wife saying that she was freaking out because

she was not being told what was going on. I remember when I woke up and I realized that my

life was about to change for the pain that I was in was unbearable. If I moved even an inch, I

would have a back spasm that was excruciating. I was in so much pain they had to administer

more medicine right away. I remember looking at my wife and she knew right away that

xxix
something was wrong because I had a look of pure agony. I remember when my daughter came

into the recovery room. This is a memory that has been imprinted in my mind. The look on my

daughters face I will never forget, for the first time in her life she felt agony, despair, horror,

fear, and I knew she was scared. Luckily, there was a nurse there, that was able to explain

everything to her so she could understand what was going on with her father. The nurse’s name

was Monica, and I will forever be grateful for what she did for my daughter. I told myself at that

exact moment that I was going to do everything to make sure that I never see that look on my

daughter’s face.

The problem was, all my strength, was on the outside for I have trained my body to

withstand anything. Now this is not to say that I did not have strength on the inside, but I did not

have the right kind of strength. I can honestly say I was broken, as if someone had ripped my

back into a million pieces and then put me back together. I really thought I knew what suffering

was, I had no clue. I had a crash course into what suffering was. The brain is the most powerful

muscle in the body, for if you are strong in the mind then your body will follow. If you are weak

in the mind, your body will be weak because your brain controls the aspect of pain. When you

suffer the wrong way your suffering manifests into so many other things. Suffering must have a

purpose, for you can fill your mind with excuses for why you are suffering. Doing this will only

lead to needless suffering, you must transform your suffering into will. Then take that will and

turn it into motivation. This is not as easy as it sounds.

Unfortunately, I turned my suffering into hate and resentment, and I cursed God for the

situation I was in for my pain was unfathomable. Now my anger and frustration, was on full

display, and I took it out on everyone and everything. The first three months after my surgery

xxx
was a complete blur, for I was on so many narcotics at the time to try and help me with my pain.

That is the problem with pain killers, they hurt you more than they help you. On top of that they

are extremely addictive. That was what was going on with me I was numbing my pain instead of

dealing with it the right way. I was turning into a different person, a person that I look back on

and am disgusted with. You must acknowledge your suffering, do not presume to think that you

suffer just for the act of suffering. There is always an underlying reason for suffering and when

we can come to terms with our suffering, we can transform it into something else. The problem

with suffering when it comes to humanity is that we run away from it not towards it. The

majority, of humanity will do anything and everything to avoid suffering. This is because if you

suffer the wrong way you isolate yourself in a way that others do not care to be around. If you

turn your suffering into a kind of strength people will be in awe of how you handle suffering and

will even put a connotation on the kind of person you are because you have done something

different, instead of allowing suffering to crush the very essence of your spirit, you must channel

your suffering into a sense of motivation that no matter what, you will come out the other side

better than you were before.

This is no easy task the majority allow suffering to defeat us in all aspects of life. We

sulk in our misery and despair and then suffering no longer becomes physical you have now

manifested your pain into more mental and psychological. This is a dangerous place to be in and

you have now compacted you suffering into physical and mental, and most people do not come

back from this kind of suffering. I speak of this only because this is exactly what I did. I hid for

so long how I suffered mentally because I did not want anyone to see how much I struggled. I

wore a mask that was, the complete opposite, of who I was, the problem with wearing masks is

xxxi
you then begin to believe that this mask is who you are. We are so infatuated with everyone

else’s opinions of us, so we portray this mask to everyone so we can feel normal.

I have been wearing a mask for forty years, I will no longer wear a mask and hide who I

truly am. I have been ridiculed more in the last two years than I have in my entire life. Why?

Because I refuse to stop hiding who and what I am. Now most people who knew me before do

not recognize who I am now because they have not awakened. When you have awakened there is

no going back to being who you were before because now you see through the illusion of what is

called life that has been pedaled to everyone. They say knowledge is power, knowledge is

neutral it is what we do with knowledge that makes it dangerous. The few have hidden the

knowledge of who we are for too long and it is time for humanity to break free of this prison.

Humanity needs to wake up and join the game of life for once you know how the game is played

there is no longer control by the few on the many. The few have been pushing their agenda on

the many for far too long and the time has come for humanity to WAKE UP! For if humanity

understood how they were being manipulated, they would get off their knees.

Suffering must be replaced with love for when you suffer you are playing their game. A

game based on fear, which has trapped humanity in an illusion based on the ideas and thoughts

of others. When you live a life without fear, you become free. Free from the ridiculous nonsense

that has been taught to us since birth. Everyone needs to realize what we are, which is

consciousness and love having a unique human experience. We are not bodies, we are vessels

sharing the same infinite consciousness of what some may call God, the Source, the One, and we

are having an experience in what we call a human body. We are, so much more and when your

consciousness awakens this is what happens you start to see through the web of lies that have

xxxii
manipulated humanity into believing a false truth, created by the few to control the many. The

brain is a receiver of information that is decoded by our five senses. These five senses are tools

that are used to experience what we call life. Suffering is mental, pain is physical and we as

humanity must wake up to the idea that we can override our suffering with infinite consciousness

and awareness of what we are. Now we have the large pharmaceutical companies shoveling

medicine down people’s throats because again they are diagnosing the symptom and not the

actual root of the problem which in most cases is dis-ease.

Dis-ease is a vibrational frequency that functions on a lower vibration which causes the

body which is made up of energy to become trapped in a low vibrational state. Humanity has not

awakened to the idea of what vibrational frequencies are. You want to feel better change your

state of vibration and watch what happens. I am not saying that doctors are not beneficial but

what I am saying is that until mainstream everything realizes what we are, we are going to

continue misdiagnosing symptoms because mainstream doctors have not quite figured out what

the body is. Therefore, they are affecting the frequency of the body which is distorting the

energy that you feel

“If you want to understand the Universe, think of vibration, frequency, and energy.”

Nikola Tesla

This is a profound truth and humanity needs to wake up to this, so the manipulation of

humanity by the few who understand this world lose their power over us. The few have been

manipulating energy so that we vibrate to their low vibration! Therefore, keeping humanity

trapped in a prison that they cannot even see. Hence the reason there is so much needless

xxxiii
suffering. The few that are in control understand the importance of suffering because it creates

enormous amounts of distorted energy which fuels them not us. And what does suffering create?

Suffering creates fear which is what they want. Fear vibrates on a low vibrational frequency

which distorts everything in its path hence the reason it is pushed by every mainstream outlet

that exists. The fear drives us to be divided which causes friction between everyone which is

exactly what they want. We fear so much we fear ourselves which then causes hate, anger, and a

lack of empathy which is on display everywhere you look. They must keep us divided instead of

coming together as ONE. When everyone comes together their control would seize to exist. We

must come together as ONE, to show to the few that we are all connected and not afraid. When

we fight with one another what we are really doing is fighting ourselves which keeps us divided

and living in a state of fear which is how they have been able to stay in control for so long.

Suffering has become the bedrock of existence instead of love and this must change. I am

not speaking of love as only a human sort of love I am speaking of a more universal love. Love

that radiates from within to everyone and everything. David Icke say’s “Infinite love is the only

truth, everything else is an illusion.” This is absolutely, true, because when you have awakened

from the coma of sleep that we have been told is life you know longer live in a state of fear, you

live in a state of love because that is what we are! We are infinite beings with infinite potential

having a unique experience. So many of us search for love, instead of going straight to the

source of love which is within us. Suffering and fear close’s our hearts, which has closed us to

infinite awareness, which has severed the connection to infinite love and consciousness.

Suffering and fear must end because this is not how we are supposed to live but we have been

literally programmed from birth to believe in this sort of nonsense because the few who are

manipulating humanity to believe in these false ideologies are terrified of humanity waking up.

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 To think that wearing a mask is the right way to live is an example of what is wrong with

humanity. How can we ever expect change if we are not even going to try and accept who we

can become as a species working together for the greater good? Think of how many people live

with this mask so that no one will see their true selves. We would rather portray a false self, so

we are not judged by the masses. We have not figured out how to express ourselves truthfully

because we are so terrified about how someone else might think about us. We put so much

emphasis on how to live that we forget the purpose on why we live. We do not live for love. We

live for the wrong and selfish reasons where there is no betterment of ourselves to become

something more than what we believe. We hide ourselves so we are not ridiculed in the false

reality of life. I ask myself, how have we come to this point in humanity? Where we do not see

what is right in front of us, so we turn away because it is easier to continue with our life full of

the false belief that we cannot change this world. It is not that we cannot change this world it is

that we do not even try to take the initiative to even imagine the possibilities of what we could

change.

When we understand that our love and will is what will define us through our suffering

then we will continue to grow. Those who understand the significance of what can come from

the belief that our suffering has an underlying meaning, will channel their heart-mind to realize

what they are capable of when you experience situations that have affected you in ways you

never thought possible. Do not let your pride confuse you of what is going on, this will throw off

the harmony and balance that you will need to push through suffering. Do not be foolish to

believe that there is not a wrong way to suffer. Suffering can lead only to the light or the dark. If

you suffer while being consumed by the darkness that comes with suffering it will destroy the

very essence of who you are. The essence of all that is pure and understanding. If you believe

xxxv
that you are being punished because of your suffering this will lead to more suffering because

you are trapped in an illusion of misery and despair. This illusion will manifest into your reality,

and you will become engulfed with the wrong things. You will begin to question everything and

everyone because you believe that you are going through something that someone else has not

gone through. All this is, is your pride seeping through asking and looking for the pity of others

to get you through this experience.

One must not look for pity, for pity will allow you to not only allow your suffering to

continue but it will spread to those who show you pity. Pity is only an illusion that will allow

your suffering to become that which you do not want. Always believing that someone can take

your pain from you. This is a selfish act to let your pain and suffering seep through your pores

into someone else’s, for the simple fact that you do not want to be alone while in your misery

and despair. It amazes me to see how many people push their misery and despair onto others,

believing that they have gained some sort of power in their life by being cruel to others because

of false beliefs. Do not presume to think that you will know what someone is thinking because

you can see their pain, for this will lead to a false conclusion of understanding why that person

may be suffering. This is a delicate path you must travel unless you have experienced the same

thing as an individual then you will never understand what that person is feeling mentally and

physically. We put such an emphasis that suffering is more physical than mental this could not

be farther from the truth for it is the mental and psychological pain that people hold onto which

then leads to more physical pain. We need to understand that our brain has limitless capabilities,

it is how we channel these abilities that will decide what sort of life you will live.

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 Never underestimate the power of the brain when it comes to dealing with suffering for

this is the most powerful weapon you can have when it comes to suffering. Physical pain comes

and goes it is the psychological repercussions that leave a lasting imprint on the body. Look at

your brain as the tool to combat your suffering for if you allow you mind to suffer your body

will only follow. Once you have it in your head that nothing will be the same and that you will

not be your old self again, or you give yourself excuse after excuse, you then manifest and

become the excuse that you are referring to. Let us not use the word hope, I prefer to use the

word belief. A belief in yourself, we must not sell ourselves short because we believe that we are

nothing in this world. This is the farthest from the truth the belief in yourself and the will power

to push through anything is what defines you. You must understand if you believe it is possible,

then it is possible. We must stop selling ourselves short when it comes to our capabilities

especially when it comes to suffering. Suffering of the mind is basically a virus and once your

mind believes this, it becomes your reality. This is what we cannot do if we allow ourselves to

dive deeper into our suffering, we will consume our spirit and will power to get through these

challenging times. So many things can happen when we cause needless suffering, and to think

that something like this does not exist all you have to do is open your eyes. Really, take, a look,

at this world and ask yourself are we really doing all that we can to make a difference in this

world. Imagine if when we woke up, in the morning we all decided to ask this question, what can

I do today, to make an impact in someone else’s life in a positive way? Imagine the difference

we could make as a society and the impact it would have on humanity.

Now all we need to do is honestly look at what is really going on in society. We have

forgotten the concept of living for others selflessly because we are all chasing the dollar. Do we

even have to mention how much suffering is being caused by the influence of money? Money

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has completely diluted the aspect of living and when we do not have money look at the

ramifications that are being caused because of the insane reality that we need to chase the

almighty dollar than to live the way we are supposed to. We even divide ourselves by the

amount, of zeros that are in our bank account and if you have more money than someone else

you must be successful or be doing something right in your life. Look at how money has

changed who we are. We treat each other based on what is in someone’s account, not in what is

in their heart. Who decided on this false way of belief? How long are we going to continue to

behave in this kind of manner? What are we teaching our children? We have forgotten who we

are and what we are capable of. We have succumbed to our fears, and we have allowed it to

contaminate the very essence of life. We must change the belief of what we are into what we can

become together. We inflict so much suffering on one another. Why if everything is love, do we

succumb to the belief that life has to be lived in a way where there is no love to be found. This

must change for humanity depends on it. Humanity is based on living for a purpose and a belief

that because we are all connected that we can, become greater than what we are. We have

forgotten who we are and by forgetting this truth we have become that which is the opposite of

what we are.

Suffering has engulfed our beliefs because we have not quite learned why we suffer; do

you believe that this is coincidence? I think not. Suffering is literally the fastest way to destroy

yourself because we believe that there is some sort of negative connotation that is involved with

suffering. Suffering if done properly should lead to humility, suffering done improperly leads to

pride. Do no be so foolish in believing that suffering is a symptom that you must live with your

entire life. When we suffer for one another and suffer for the greater good of humanity we start

to see a different picture develop in our minds. If we allow our suffering to consume us in wrong

xxxviii
ways, we will never grasp the concept of what we can do without the medicine that is prescribed

from medical personnel. Think about how many people because of the fear of suffering only add

to their suffering because they take prescriptions to literally change the mind makeup of your

brain and body. These prescriptions literally deaden the signals in our brain which allow you to

respond to pain and by doing this you believe that you can do more because you are not feeling

the pain. Most of the suffering that we inflict is brought about by our own misery and despair.

Why do we allow ourselves to live in a state of madness? For the simple reason that this is what

we have been taught. The systems of government that we believe our protecting us is literally the

foundation that has been created to destroy us. Suffering is a double edge sword for the simple

reason that when we suffer, we do not just suffer physically but we suffer mentally. We must

understand that one aspect affects the other. The human body is literally pure energy and when

we allow this energy to be corrupted by our own emotions, we destroy the very aspect of who we

are, which is love. Love is literally the binary force of everything and if you do not allow this

love to grow inside of you, you will become the opposite of what love is which is hate. Suffering

leads to every emotion that you do not want to harbor. I know from personal experience the toll

of which suffering can have. For most of my life I have been searching for the answers and

absolute truth of who we are and what our purpose is.

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 III

WE HAVE SLEPT LONG ENOUGH:

“Aloneness is ultimate. And when I say aloneness is ultimate, I mean that there is only

one, there are not many. You are not separate from existence. Nobody is separate from anybody

else. Existence is utterly one. The very idea of separation is our misery, the very idea that ’I am

an island’ creates hell. Nobody is an island, we belong to the continent, we are part of this

oceanic existence, past, present, future. In all directions and all dimensions, it is all one. In fact,

the word alone means ’all-oneness’ – that is alone-ness. ’All one’ is alone.”

The Mystic Osho

Humanity must wake up for the majority are asleep. We must stop thinking as only an

individual and start understanding that we are all connected. Yes, everyone, is connected and if

we could acknowledge this truth, we could literally change the world. We are ONE and when

we all come together, we will see real change. The problem is this knowledge has been hidden

from the masses since the beginning of time for the simple fact to control and to instill fear. This

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may be difficult to understand, but there is a reason we are in this situation. We have been

programmed to live in a state of fear and it is time to break free of this illusion that we have been

taught to believe. The masses live in a state of fear because they are aware of the ridicule that

one may receive when they think outside the box. Let us think about that, the majority, of us, do

not even live our own lives we live through the ideas and thoughts of others instead of living

free. Almost every facet of society has been designed for this particular outcome because the few

that try to dictate the outcome of the masses do not want to lose control and furthermore are

terrified of losing control.

Fear is a powerful energy source. This source of energy is what has given the few the

power that they have needed to control the many. It is time to stop living in fear for once we

break free, fear will be diminished, and love will replace this control with a sense of no longer

thinking but knowing. That is what those who wish to stay in control do not want, because it is

this kind of energy that controls the outcome of so many. Even those who believe that they are

free are not because they are still ruled by the five senses which is all that they believe exist. This

is certainly not the case and once you break free from these five senses all control is lost. This is

the only thing that will allow us to live free and the longer we allow fear to control our lives, the

longer we allow those who are manipulating us to stay in control. Everyone needs to understand

this, the power does not rest in the few, the power rests in the many which hinders on us coming

together. I like to use this analogy when I describe what I am talking about. Look at your hand

and notice how every finger looks like it is separated from one another, therefore when we view

these fingers as separated instead of connected you lose the power of what five fingers separated

creates instead of knowing that when these fingers come together and create a fist, you have now

connected your fingers to come together as ONE, you then will create a larger impact on what

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you are trying to penetrate. This is what those in power do not want because when we stop living

as individuals and come together as ONE, we negate the power that the few have because they

will not be able to manipulate the many.

Now the question becomes how do we wake up the masses that are literally sleeping

through life? First, those who are sleeping need to realize that this world is not what they think it

is. This will be a hard concept for the many to grasp because it is literally like wiping the hard

drive of a computer. That is how everyone is going to have to look at this equation that we are in.

We must wipe the program that has been fed to us from birth and begin from scratch. In this

concept it is literally like being reborn again because that is literally what is going to happen.

There may be more people who have awakened but because they know the mass ridicule that

will come with talking about life in this way they choose not to. The majority, of people do not

like this feeling because again we are letting what others think about us control the way we live

our lives. Why? Who wants to live like this always wondering what others might think of you?

We must break free of this ridiculous way of thinking because when you do not care what others

think of you, you can no longer be influenced.

The few that control the way we feel have perfected this convoluted way of thinking

because they have programmed us to think like them. By thinking like the few, the masses do

their work for them because now we have people ridiculing others for the way that they think

because it is not the norm.

“Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned from school,

and the only thing that interferes with my learning is my education”.

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 Albert Einstein

Let us think about this statement for a minute, how many of us remember, or even use

what was taught by these institutions that promote higher learning? If this is higher learning, then

I am glad not to be a part of these institutions that literally program you to believe what they

want you to believe or how to act and think. Anyone who believes that the world that we live is

not one large programming mechanism designed to further the agenda of the few is living in an

illusion.

We are being programmed so much that now we have devices that do the thinking for us.

Think about all the people that you see literally glued to their new piece of technology. They

cannot pull themselves away from their devices, while I can agree technology has certainly made

life easier it has certainly not made life better. With that you have social media, which has

literally taken a life on its own. I find it saddening that people, get their information from an app

designed to divide us even more. You do not have to take my word for it, all you, need to do, is

post something that you may feel or think and look at the ridicule you will receive if you are not

thinking like the masses. Again, everything is designed to be this way because the majority have

not awakened to the reality that we are being funneled garbage to feed the needs of the few to

control the many. The few do not even have to condemn us anymore because they have the

brainwashed masses doing the work for them. For the last two years, I have been ridiculed more

for how I believe than I have my entire life. Let me tell you how much I could care less about

how anyone thinks about me. One you get passed, letting others control your way of thinking,

then you have a sense of freedom that is truly liberating because you do not let the actions of

others control how you think or feel.

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 We have come to the point where I wonder how many people, have an original thought

anymore? Instead, what do people pedal except the information that they get from the news or

social media platforms that is literally designed to brainwash you. The funneled vortex of

information which is predominately fear is designed so you live on a certain frequency.

Everything in this world is energy, frequency, and vibration and once you can attune yourself to

this you will start to break through the web of lies that has been pedaled for as far back that you

can research. We have a sinister force at play here and the masses need to wake up because they

have been manipulated by the flow of information and knowledge to think only one way. This is

the one thing the few do not want you to have for once you have the knowledge to break free of

the prison, of which we call life, we could change this world. In a system designed to think that

you are free, this is what you will perceive. Everything is consciousness and awareness infused

with love. The few that understand this knowledge have manipulated humanity to live in a low

vibrational state. Fear has become the trademark of existence, for the simple reason that it is easy

to control a planet with a population of nearly eight billion if fear is pedaled in every way

imaginable.

Fear works on a low vibrational frequency as with many other emotions such as, hate,

anger, disgust, misery, and despair. We need to change our vibrational frequency to love,

empathy, compassion, courage, and know that we are all connected.

“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable

network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects

all indirectly.”

Martin Luther King

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 What a perfectly said statement, we have been manipulated to believe and forget who we

really are. Humanity is asleep and it is time to wake up to the reality of this illusion that has been

pedaled for far too long. We are all connected and when humanity wakes up the world will

change. Everyone needs to understand the game of life, so we can all partake in the awakening

process. I have been researching non-stop to understand the game of life and once we understand

the game, we can change the outcome. I had my awakening two years ago, and ever since then

my life has drastically changed. I will tell my story so that everyone can understand that once

you have awakened you will no longer live in a world of fear, you will free yourself of fear by

becoming fearless. To live in a state of love, one must become fearless to go through the pain.

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 IV

HOW LOVE SAVED ME:

Love for many people, for the majority indeed, is not really love, but a mixture of the

desire to love, and the desire to be loved, plus a willingness to do anything to show and evoke

this sentiment, and consequently to be more comfortable in one’s own interior life. It is this

pseudo-love based primarily on a theory of love and service, which characterizes so many

human relationships. Such as those existing for instance, between husband and wife, parents and

their children. Glamoured by their sentiment for them, knowing little of the love of the soul.

Which is free itself and leaves others free also, they wander in a dense fog, often dragging with

them the ones they desire to serve, in order to draw forth a responsive affection. Study the word

affection, brothers and sisters and see its true meaning. Affection is not love. It is that desire

which we express through an exertion of the astral body, and this activity affects our contacts; it

is not spontaneous desireless of the soul, which asks nothing for the separated self. This glamour

of sentiment imprisons and bewilders all the nice people in the world, imposing upon them

obligations which do not exist, and producing a glamour which must eventually be dissipated by

the pouring in of true and selfless love.

Message from Ascended Masters:

xlvi
 It had been four years since I had my first spinal cord surgery. I think of the insanity of

my life during those four years and the amount of energy that was used trying to get through the

pain that I was going thru. Pain, as I said earlier is physical and suffering is mental. Suffering

only adds to the physical pain, because once you suffer in the mind the body will only follow

what your brain manifests. I had not had my awakening yet so I was not able to see through all

the veils I had put around myself so nobody would see my suffering. I did my best to cover my

pain and for the most part I was able to get by, but by the end of everyday my body and mind

was a wreck. This is a dangerous way to live, my pride and ego hid my emotions from those who

were closest to me and because of this my family suffered with me. I think about all I put my

family through and as it brings tears to my eyes because I realize just how ugly I was on the

inside. I hid this ugliness from them because I did not want them to see how much I was

suffering. This is the problem with suffering the energy that it puts out is a tremendous force that

keeps you in a low vibrational state, and it will entangle with anyone who comes near you.

Energy is everything, and depending on the frequency level you are on, you will vibrate with

whatever frequency you have put yourself in. Talk about selfish, I was so selfish I pushed all my

misery onto anyone who got to close. What a horrific way to live and because I lived this way

my suffering and pain only manifested and increased into a state of madness.

After my first surgery in 2015, I was broken not only physically but mentally. I was

hurting in so many aspects of my life. I looked at my family and thought to myself how, am I

going to get back to the point I was before. The problem was the man I was before I did not like,

now this is not to say that I did not have love inside of me, the problem was this love was not

based on a universal concept of what I call love now. Love must be given freely and there is no

limit to the amount of love that can be given. Love cannot be given with some sort of

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connotation that when it is given something must be received in return for this is not love. Love

is the absence of hate, but if you give love with a connotation of you want something in return

then what you are giving is hate. We must understand this concept, or we will continue to

perpetuate this cycle. My awakening began in 2019, and this will be the year that I will never

forget and though my life has changed dramatically since I know exactly who I am now, and I do

not worry about how others think about me anymore. I will now tell you my story of what

happened to me and though it may sound crazy, or not possible, this is the truth. I must tell this

story because I want everyone to come together and know the truth of who and what we are. I

cannot stand the division that is being pushed on the masses to divide us anymore. When we are

divided, we are easier to control, and this is exactly what those who wish to control us want.

There are no coincidences, everybody needs to remember who they are, when this happens, we

will live in a world that promotes love, not hate, unity, not division, we will then start to realize

that everything is connected, and I mean everything. We have been brainwashed and

programmed to believe in a convoluted way of thinking. This must change for the sake of our

children and everyone.

I am quite aware that there will be many of people who will not understand why I might

be the way that I am now. That is understandable I have done a 180 in my life and have become

something completely different than I was before. Most who knew me from before do not

understand what is going on. There is a reason for this they are asleep where-as I am awake.

They are in a coma that we call life, relying on their five senses which gives them their

perception of reality. I do not harbor any hatred towards what anyone may think of me, and by

being this way I am free. Free of allowing what others think dictate my actions. Just take a

minute to ponder this question how many of you think for yourselves instead of thinking like the

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masses which have been imprisoned in their five senses because they believe that is all that

exists? I understand this for I was one of these people and to say that I was not would be a

complete lie. We all need to look deep inside ourselves to understand the nature of reality. We

have been funneled garbage for far to long and it is time for the masses to wake up. I want

everyone to understand this transformation process, and if you can take anything away from

what I am saying, know that everything is love. If you can grasp this concept your world will

change dramatically.

The year was 2019, I still remember it, as if it were yesterday. In 2019, I was at my

breaking point. I was beginning to give up on everything and my pain and suffering was so

severe that I did not care if I lived or died. In-fact I welcomed death, as I had said earlier

everyone has their breaking point and since I did not understand what this world was all about, I

was lost in my own mind. Now, I could portray to the world that I was okay but if anyone really

knew me at the time then they know I was in a very dark place. This is a dangerous place to be

and anyone who has been at their breaking point will understand exactly what I am talking

about. Do not be so naïve to think that there is no darkness in this world, trust me there is another

spectrum if you allow yourself to vibrate to the frequency of fear, despair, misery, and hate then

darkness is what you will become. 2019, was the year I decided to have my second surgery. This

was not a decision that I came to lightly because of the disaster of my first surgery.

I am a veteran, so any veteran reading this will understand the atrocities that the Veterans

Administration has done to veterans. I am not saying that the people that work for the Veterans

Administration have only bad intentions, but this is a system that is broken. I would venture to

believe that there are not too many veterans that would disagree with what I am saying here. I

xlix
have heard enough veterans tell me their horror stories of what they have had to deal with trying

to navigate the maze of the Veteran Administration, I could literally write a book on the stories

that I have heard from all the veterans that I have spoken to and one day I will because their

stories need to be told. From the years 2016 to 2019, I have been carried out on a stretcher from

my home, in front of my children over fifty times, because of the back spasms that I had. The

pain that I would have would seize my body to a point of not being able to move and I would

literally shake from the pain that I was feeling. Now remember pain is physical suffering is

mental and because I was suffering so much my body experienced what I had manifested in my

brain. I had lost the will to continue to fight and live, seeing the face of my children crushed my

spirit. For they were suffering as much as I was. My children are pure love, and this is one of the

greatest gifts that I have been given. For I know now that their love is what gave me the strength

to keep fighting during this time. My wife and I at the time were not in a good place. I do not

blame my wife for anything. It is not easy to see someone self-destroy themselves right before

your eyes. I take full responsibility for this, for I created a lot of needless suffering onto my

family.

Suffering is a disease which is literally dis-ease, dis-ease is when your body is in such a

low vibration, that you are causing and self-perpetuating a lot of your own suffering and this is

not a place where you want to live. It distorts your reality, and what you perceive you will create.

Do not be so foolish in thinking that we do not create our own suffering most of the time, the

problem is we have been taught to believe that suffering is the way of the world this is the

farthest from the truth. We have enough garbage being thrown at us from literally every facet of

society which causes needless suffering because it is designed to separate us even more. This is

not to say that I did not need surgery, but I was creating more pain in my body because of the

l
dis-ease that I was inflicting on myself. I remember the beginning of 2019; I told myself that it

was time for me to look at having surgery again. The look on my children’s face was complete

horror, but they also understood that I was not in a good place. I went to the Veterans

Administration and spoke to my pain doctor, and they put in a consult for me to see a

neurosurgeon, out here in Las Vegas. I figured he could not have been any worse than the

neurosurgeon I saw in Wyoming who was a complete joke. The fact that he even called himself a

doctor is laughable.

My appointment was scheduled, and I was speaking to a neurosurgeon within a month.

Now the neurosurgeon believed that I needed a complete spinal cord fusion of my back. I looked

at him and told myself this must be a joke, I was not about to put my family through a surgery

that seemed unnecessary because this doctor only saw money when he looked at me, he did not

see a patient in need he saw dollar signs because he knew that the Veterans Administration

would pay for it. I was disgusted with his prognosis and when I went back, I told my pain doctor

that I did not agree with the prognosis. I said I would like a second opinion, and then the games

began. I was told that the Veteran Administration does not give second opinions. What a fucking

joke the largest medical organization in the country does not authorize a second opinion. I was

furious and I then started to see through all the cracks of this medical organization that was

designed to help veterans. During this time, I had been in contact with Larry Weckbaugh, the

father of an old childhood friend Casey Weckbaugh. Larry had told me about a doctor that he

knew in Baltimore MD, who had done a surgery on his back and that he was amazing. After

speaking with Larry, I spoke with my family and decided that I was going to go to Baltimore to

meet this surgeon.

li
 I had contemplated on this for quite some time, I know that I needed surgery but the idea

that I would fly three-thousand miles to meet with someone seemed extreme. One thing was for

sure I was tired of seeing the sadness on the faces of my children because all they wanted was

for their father to be happy. I called Larry back a few days later and told him that I would use my

Medicare insurance to meet with this surgeon he recommended. Larry gave me his number and I

gave them a call. Within three weeks I had an appointment, I then preceded to buy a plane ticket

and before I knew it, the time had come for me to have my appointment. Then something

unexpected happened before I left, I was told that Larry had, had a stroke and my heart sank

because I dearly cared for this man who showed such empathy and compassion to my needs. We

had planned that I would stay with him and that we would go together to meet with this surgeon.

I had a relationship with my adopted family but to say we were close would be an exaggeration.

I had spoken to my younger sister, and she offered to let me stay with her during the time I was

there. I was very thankful. I thought to myself this would not be such a bad idea and the fact that

my mom and sister came with me to the appointment gave me a sense of relief and that is all I

could have asked for at the time.

Before I knew it, I was on a plane headed to Baltimore. My sister picked me up from the

airport, and within a few days my mom, my sister and I went to meet with this surgeon. I

remember sitting in the waiting room, there was a sense of anxiety because I was truly

wondering if this surgeon would listen to me and see me as a person, and not a form of money as

the other surgeon saw me as. I was then called back, and my mother asked if it would be okay if

she came back, I looked at her and said I would really like that and thank you. We met with the

surgeon and to my surprise he really listened to what I had to say. He offered his advice and we

all agreed that a spinal fusion of my L5-S1 was needed. I had a sense of relief for I knew that he

lii
saw me as someone who needed help and not someone, he could make money from. He told me

that he accepted my other insurance and said that he would get the rest of the money from the

Veterans Administration because he had dealt with this sort of situation before. I was very,

happy at this time because my mom and my sister were there, and I appreciated the fact that they

were going to be a part of this surgery. The surgeon and I decide we would have the surgery in

three weeks, and I agreed that I would fly back, and we would have surgery.

Now the time came for me to call my family and let them know what I had decided. This

was not an easy phone call, I called my wife and told her my plans. I could here it in her voice

that she was scared, and I told her that no matter what I would come back better than I was. I had

decided without delay that nothing was going to stop me from getting back to my family. I flew

back a few days later and spoke with my wife and children. My daughter was not happy she had

a look on her face that pierced through my heart like a sharp piece of glass, and I could feel all

her pain. At that moment I remembered the look on my daughters face after the first surgery I

had, and she was in horror for she knew that something was wrong. I told her at once that I

would be back in ten days after my surgery and that nothing was going to stop me from getting

back to them. My wife and I agreed that I would fly there on my own because we did not want

our children to be a part of my recovery and we thought it would be best if the children stayed

home with her so they could go to school and be distracted from everything that was going on. I

had spoken to Larry about my decision to have surgery, he agreed and even though he had just

had a stroke, he and his wife asked me if I would like to stay with them during my recovery. I

was overwhelmed by the charity that they showed by asking me this. In all honesty I did not

know if I should take them up on their offer because I felt bad that Larry just had a stroke and

was still very fragile from all that he had endured. Now I had a decision to make because my

liii
younger sister had asked if I would like to stay with her while I recovered. Now it is not that I

did not want to stay with my sister, but I did not feel the love that I felt from the Weckbaughs it

was a completely different dynamic. I did not come to this decision lightly, in-fact I

contemplated on this for three days because as I sat there thinking. I almost found it unbelievable

that I would rather stay with a friend’s parents than my own family. I spoke to my wife about it,

and she told me wherever you feel most comfortable to recover that is where you should go. I

agreed and I decided to take the Weckbaughs up on their offer. Now my decision was made, and

it was time to get myself ready to have surgery again. I would have to say I did not sleep well for

the next three weeks and though I was in no hurry it seemed like time was flying and before I

knew it the time had come for me to get ready to leave.

Two days before my flight left, I began to start packing, when this started, I could feel

my family’s anxiety because I knew that they were worried. I did my best to stay strong so that

my family would stay strong, but I knew they were scared. I had told my children that if the last

surgery did not destroy me this surgery would certainly not. I look back at the events that folded

that week, and I would have to say that I was in awe out how my children were handling

everything. I was amazed and this gave me a sense of peace knowing that my children had

grown to be so strong. Not just physically but mentally. I realized then that my children had

become everything I had ever wanted. A family built on love, empathy, compassion, and a

respect for one another that you just do not find everywhere. The day for my flight came and I

remember how my daughter did not want to go to school that day, I did not want her to go either

I wanted to spend as much time as possible with her before I left, my wife thought it would be

better for my daughter to go to school so she would not think about everything that was going

on. I agreed and even though it broke my heart to take my daughter to school that day for the

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look on her face was so sad. I said Jazmin please do not be so sad, know that everything is going

to be okay, I promise no matter what that when I come back, I will be so much better and that I

want you to stay strong for the family is going to need you while I am gone. I told her that I

wanted her to help mommy out because I knew that my wife was going to be a nervous wreck

during this entire process. She said she would, and she got out of the vehicle, and I watched her

go to school with tears in my eyes because my daughter is truly my heart. I remember thinking to

myself how amazed I was at the strength of this little girl who had been through so much already

in the last few years with everything that she had endured with all the suffering she saw her

father go through. I drove home with tears in my eyes and when I got back home, I finished

packing.

I remember thinking to myself how fast time was flying because before I knew it, it

was time to pick up my daughter from school. The whole family got in the car, and I remember

noticing from my son how strong he was during this time as if he knew that everything was

going to be fine. This gave me a sense of strength and I was so proud of him. He showed me a

strength that is rare to find in a child of his age. That is the beauty of children they are so much

more aware of life than we even give them credit for. We picked up my daughter and I could see

that she did not have a good day at school. I asked what is wrong Jazmin? She just looked at me

and said really Daddy, what do you think is wrong? There was no more trying to hide our

emotions anymore. The car ride home was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. I remember

looking out the window and listening to the tires on the road, I had to do something because my

emotions were filling up quickly and I did not want to start crying for I knew it would only open

the flood gates for the rest of my family. I continued to hold back my tears for I did not want the

next six hours that we had together to be sad and emotional. We had dinner together and my

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flight was not leaving till around eleven pm so I played with my children as best that I could. I

wanted time to stop so I could enjoy these last few hours with them. My wife and I decided to

put my children to bed so they could get a little sleep before we headed to the airport. I thought

this was going to be a process to have my children go to be bed but for some reason they both

went to sleep quite easily. As if something was taking their anxieties and fears away. I was

thankful for this because it gave my wife and I around two hours to talk and prepare our-selves

mentally for what was about to take place. Anyone who has had a major surgery knows what I

mean when I talk about getting yourself mentally prepared. I could feel the anxiety starting to

slowly come down from my wife which helped me out tremendously, for I now know that I have

extreme empathic abilities and I could feel all her anxiety and fear.

My wife had seen first-hand, how horrific my recovery from my first surgery was. She

was also quite aware that I was at my breaking point mentally and physically. I was not in a good

place because I had allowed my suffering mentally and physically to consume my every action

and thought. This is not a place I wish for anyone. I knew that if this surgery did not work, I

would be lost forever. I told myself at once that no matter what I was going to come back a

better person than I was before. I was not sure why at the time I felt so confident about this but

for some reason I knew everything was going to be better. I harbored a lot of pain inside and I

was prideful, I fueled my ego with this pride so nobody could see how much I was hurting. I

kept remembering what the doctor said and he told me that it would be possible for me to be

back home within ten days. He had also mentioned how everyone recovers differently but when I

heard ten days in my head that was all I needed to hear because he said it was possible. I held

onto this notion that it was possible for me to back with my family within ten days and this gave

me a sense of will and motivation that I had not felt for a long time.

lvi
 Before I knew it the time had come to wake my children up so we could go to the airport.

I did not want to disturb them, but I knew they wanted to come to the airport to say goodbye to

their father. I remember walking up the stairs to their bedroom and it was one of the hardest

walks I have ever made in my life, not because of the pain that I was feeling but I knew that the

time had come, to look, into my children’s faces and tell them it was time to go. I went into my

daughter’s room and my wife went into our son’s room so she could carry him down the stairs.

When I woke my daughter up, I could see it all over her face and my heart began to tremble for I

knew that I was looking at a little girl who had already been through so much for she had

watched her father suffer for the last four years. When we reached the bottom of the stairs, I

remember my son was standing by the table and he said, “everything is going to be okay all we

need to do is just believe that Daddy will be ok.” I remember looking at him almost

dumbfounded because I was looking at a four-year-old who showed me in that moment a

courage and belief that almost put me in tears. For some reason I could feel the energy flowing

from my son and this was amazing because it gave me the strength to hold back my tears so we

could all get into the vehicle. As soon as we all got situated and began the trip to the airport my

children went right back to sleep. I was amazed it seemed as if they did not have a worry in the

world. I know they were tired, but my children never sleep in car rides, I took this as a sign and a

sense of peace began to fill in me.

The trip to the airport was a quiet trip. For some reason I had no words to say at the time

all I could do was tell my wife everything was gong to be okay. As I looked out onto the city of

Las Vegas and saw all the lights from the casinos and hotels I kept thinking to myself I will be

back here in ten days no matter what. I must have repeated this in my head the entire time we

were in the car, though no words came out. I knew that my wife saw I was in my own head.

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Before I knew it, I began to see the signs for the airport. The time that I had been dreading had

come for it was time to wake my children up and tell them goodbye. As we arrived at the airport,

I woke my children up and told them that we were here, and it was time for me to go. My wife

pulled up to the drop off point and it was time to say goodbye. I decided to say goodbye to my

son first and as I stepped out the vehicle all my emotions started to come out and a constant flow

of tears fell from my eyes. As I walked around the car to my son’s side of the door, I began to

wipe the tears from my face. I opened the door and there was my son looking at me and with a

sweet gentle voice he said, “do not cry Daddy I know everything is going to be okay.” He

reached out his arms and gave me a big hug and I could feel his energy flowing through me. As I

looked into his eyes, I told him that I had a big job for him. My son with a smile on his face said,

“what is the job Daddy?” I told him that while I was gone, I need him to be the man of the house

and that I needed him to take care of Mommy and Jazmin. My son said, “yes sir Daddy, I

promise, I will take care of them.” I looked at my son with tears in my eyes and realized at that

moment how lucky I was for I had a son who absolutely loved me. I gave him a kiss and said

goodbye.

Now the time came for me to go say goodbye to my daughter Jazmin. I knew this was not

going to be easy because as I was saying goodbye to my son, I could see my daughter was

beginning to cry. Now I had to say goodbye to my eight-year-old daughter who knew exactly

what was going on. As I approached her side of the door my heart began to sink, for I did not

know what I was going to say. As I opened the door my daughter eyes were soaked in tears, and

she looked at me and said, “I am scared Daddy.” I said Jazmin there is nothing to be afraid of for

if I could get through the last surgery then I was going to get through this one, and that nothing

was going to stop me from coming back in ten days. Jazmin said, “you promise Daddy” and I

lviii
said yes sweetheart, I promise no matter what I will be home in ten days. I wiped the tears from

my daughters face and told her that I loved her more than words could describe. Jazmin said, “I

love you so much Daddy” and gave me a big hug and kiss and I began to feel her energy which

was pure love. I said goodbye to her with eyes soaked in tears and shut the door. My wife had

already taken my suitcase out and was standing next to the vehicle. As I approached my wife, I

could see the tears starting to roll down her face and I knew that she was worried. I looked at my

wife and said no matter what I promise I will come back a better husband and father than I was

before. I am not sure why I said these words, but this is what came out. What I do know is that I

was tired of seeing my family suffer because of me. My wife and I gave each other a hug and a

kiss, and we said goodbye. I watched as I saw my family drive away and I gathered myself and

walked into the terminal. I preceded to get my tickets and went to my gate to board the plane. As

I sat there waiting for my plane I began to wonder if I was doing the right thing. I did not want to

leave but I also knew that my pain and suffering had hit a breaking point. Before I knew it the

time had come for me to board the plane and within a few minutes we were in the air.

Destination Baltimore Maryland. I arrived early the next morning and when I arrived Mr. and

Mrs. Weckbaugh were waiting for me.

When I saw Mr. Weckbaugh, I noticed how frail he had become, he had just had a stroke

and he was still recovering from it. What did stand out to me was how strong he was not wanting

any sympathy for what he had gone through. In fact, he was more worried about me which I

found stunning because though he was going through his own struggles, he pushed them aside to

make sure I was in a good place before I had my surgery. I arrived on a Friday, and they asked

me if I wanted to go out to lunch with them. I said that I would love too, and it gave us time to

catch up. They were genuinely concerned about everything I was dealing with at the time, and it

lix
was nice to speak to them about all I was going through. I had been talking to them for the last

year about all, of the pain I was feeling and they new I was upset about what had gone through

with the Veteran Administration especially, the lack of support I was receiving from them. They

gave me words of encouragement and it was nice to be around such supportive people. I had

spoken to my family about the decision I had made to stay with the Weckbaughs during my

recovery but that I would stay with my sister Katie on Monday night because my mom said she

would take me to Mercy Medical Hospital on the day of my surgery. My Surgery was going to

be on a Tuesday. I had discussed this with the Weckbaughs, and they were happy to hear that my

mom was going to be there for my surgery.

I was also thankful that my mom was going to be there, I did not have much support after

my first surgery, and I do not harbor and resentment towards my family for not coming out to

support me then. I honestly did not want them there for me, I wanted them there for my children

so they could be distracted so it would give my wife the ability to focus on me. This did not

happen, and we had to get through the disaster of this surgery by ourselves. I was not in the right

state of mind for my first surgery because I was angry and upset that not one person from either

side of our family came out to support us during this time. This was the main reason I chose to

stay with the Weckbaughs, the relationship with my family was not a loving relationship and as I

write these words, I realize that all I ever wanted was a loving family. This stems from my

childhood because my sister, brother, and I were put in orphanages at an early age. My birth

parents were not fit to be parents. Growing up in San Jose Costa Rica, was not easy and to say

that my childhood was filled with happy memories would be a lie. In fact, the first memory I

have in this world is a memory of pain and sadness. Now I do not want to go to deep into this

part of my life I only bring this up to show the basis of my decision and why I chose to stay with

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the Weckbaughs. Now it is not that my family does not show love, but what they consider love

and what I consider love are two completely different things. Everyone has a right to believe and

think what they want but as I grew up, I showed love all the time and was not shown love in the

same way which began to harden my heart for I was tired of being hurt all the time. I then

decided to close myself off from love because I did not like the feeling I would get when I would

show love and receive none in return.

After the Weckbaughs and I ate, we decided to head back to their home so everyone

could relax. They could show me where I was going to stay while I recovered, the one thing that

I did notice was that the Weckbaughs were devoted Catholics. If there was something I was not

it was religious, I did not grow up in a religious household. Mrs. Weckbaugh was devoted to her

religion, and it did not bother me. My problem with religion was most of the people that I had

met throughout my life proclaimed to be religious and then would act a completely different way

when they were not in church. This always turned me off with religion because I never did

understand why people would say one thing and then act a completely different way. It seemed

to me that something was not right with this whole aspect of religion. Now, Mrs. Weckbaugh

asked me if I would like to go to church with them on Sunday, I cannot remember the last time I

was in a church, but I agreed. I figured what would it hurt to go to church. After speaking for a

little while longer, we all went to sleep. We woke up the next morning and talked a lot which

was nice for I enjoyed the conversations that we had together. Before I knew it, it was Sunday

morning, and we were all headed to church. I had to use a walker to walk at the time for my back

was not doing very well. Now I have never really prayed before in-fact the last thing that was on

my mind was prayer. When we walked into the church, I met a lot of the Weckbaughs friends. I

noticed that Mrs.Weckbaugh had built quite the community where she lived, and it was nice to

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see everyone talking to each other and looking like they genuinely cared for one another. Then I

was introduced to a man named Father Mike. I had never met a priest before. Father Mike was a

soft, spoken man who seemed to genuinely care about those in his church. The Weckabaughs

had spoken to Father Mike about me, and he knew that I was going to have surgery in the next

two days and asked if we could all say a prayer together. Now as I said earlier, I never really

prayed before, I figured what would it hurt to say a prayer. I remember we went to a different

part of the church where we were alone, and Father Mike asked if we could all join hands while

he said a prayer. We all did, now I do not remember what prayer Father Mike said I just

remember that while he said the prayer, I decided to ask for help. I said if there was anything in

this world that could help with my mental and physical suffering and bring my pain to a four on

a scale of 1-10, where I literally stayed between an 8-10 for the last three years, I would do

anything to show my gratitude. I then began to feel the energy flowing through all of us and by

the time Father Mike finished the prayer, I could feel the love radiating from the room. I did not

make much of it at the time, I said thank you for your kind words and we proceeded to go into

the church. I sat there in pain and listened to the sermon that was given that day. After church we

drove back to the Weckbaughs I remember feeling tired and I wanted to take a nap when I got

back.

I had a lot on mind at the time, the one thing that I did know is I was in a better place

in my mind than I was before I had my first surgery, and I was not afraid or felt any fear abut

having this surgery. The only thing that kept going through my mind is that I would be back

home with my family within ten days after my surgery. The following day was Monday and an

old high school friend Jason said that he would give me a ride so that I could meet my mom

halfway so she could take me to my sisters. It was nice to see an old friend that I had grown up

lxii
with and though we had not talked a lot throughout the years it seems like we picked up right

where we left off when we were in High School. We met my mom at a convenient store, I said

goodbye to Jason and preceded to get into my mom’s vehicle. My mom and I were able to catch

up on the car ride to my sister’s and we spoke about my family and what was going on in her

life. I have always had a deep respect for my mom for she adopted four children two from Costa

Rica, which were my sister Grace, and I are from, my younger brother Alex who is from Peru,

and my younger sister Katie who is from South Korea. I know my mother did her best when it

came to raising us, I also know I never gave her enough credit for being a single mother while

she raised four children, all from diverse backgrounds. I will always be eternally grateful for

what my mom did for all of us for without her I would not be where I am at today. I always was

in awe of my mother she always seemed to be one step ahead of me in everything and I have

learned a lot from my mother. I harbor no ill will towards my mother in fact I thank her everyday

for the opportunity to have a better life than the one that I was born into. My mom was a medical

malpractice lawyer, I was always amazed at how she could manage such a career and raise her

children.

I was happy knowing that my mom would be there at my surgery, which is all I ever

wanted. I took a minute to sit back and think about my life and I always wondered why things

were the way they were. Why so many people acted and treated each other the way they did. I

could not stand going to school in fact when I went to school I usually would get in trouble, not

because I was a mean child or anything like that. I just always new something did not seem right.

Most of the time I would daydream through school and barely pay attention to what the teachers

were saying. I was utterly bored and all I wanted to do was play. I remember when I was in fifth

grade my mom forced me to study, and every weekend on a Saturday I would spend the day

lxiii
reviewing what I had been taught that week and would read about what I would be taught the

following week. When I received my report card I had mostly A’s and a few B’s so it was not

that I could not retain the knowledge that was being taught. I am not sure if this helped or not but

what I did realize is all I had to do was put a little effort in my studies and I would do well. I did

not carry this concept with me though at all. In fact, I barely tried because I had no interest in

learning what they were teaching. All I cared about was playing sports which I played all the

time for it was one of the few things that I enjoyed tremendously. So, this is what I focused on,

and I excelled at sports. I was able to make friends playing sports which was nice, but I always

seemed to make different friends all the time. As I grew up, I did not enjoy my friendships with a

lot of the people that I became friends with because I did not like how some of them would treat

other people. This always bothered me and because I went to a predominately white school at the

time I felt like an outsider because I would not do the same things as them. I started to see a stark

difference in middle school and especially high school. I had a couple of good friends that I

stayed close to during High School, but we fell out of touch after we all graduated. I did just

enough to graduate, and I had no desire to go to college, but I also did not know what I was

going to do with myself. My mom had told me that once I graduate I either had to get a job or go

to school. Now my mom was not going to pay for me to go to college and I could not blame her I

barely tried at school so why would she waste her money sending me to a school that she knew I

would probably not finish anyway.

When I graduated high school, I had a girlfriend at the time, and I was told to go and stay

with my uncle in New York and work with him and his wife who owned an organic farm stand. I

did not mind working for my aunt even though the hours were long and difficult. We worked

seven days a week twelve hours a day. I had occasionally gone and worked for my aunt during

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the summers growing up and I was no stranger to arduous work. In fact, I thrived in arduous

work. Unfortunately, I was lonely I had no friends up there and I missed my girlfriend. I spoke to

her daily but that was not enough. One day my girlfriend asked if I was going to come down for

our graduation. I thought it would be nice if I went down for my graduation and saw some of my

friends, I also knew that if I asked my uncle, he would say no so I asked his wife and she said

yes. Now I was not aware that this would be the last time that I would see my uncle for a long

time for when I left New York I took the train and my girlfriend picked me up and I went to my

graduation and then to a party afterwards. I am not even sure where I stayed while I was down

there but when it was time for me to go back to New York, I missed my train by a few minutes

and when I called my uncle and told him what had happened, he told me that I can stay down

there and that I was not welcome, to come back. Now I was no perfect child, but I struggled a lot

growing up in High School especially when my older sister Grace was kicked out of the house. I

began to start drinking because I never understood why my family was at times so cruel to one

another. I kept thinking to myself why, did my mom even adopt us if she was not going to help

guide us into becoming adults. My sister and I had an exceedingly difficult upbringing before we

were adopted, and my sister especially struggled with all that she endured. I will not get into that

for it is not my place to speak on what happened to my sister. What I will say though is she took

her pain out on me. I always felt my sisters, pain and it bothered me a lot growing up and after a

while my mom sort of stopped trying with my sister, so my sister and I became close, but she

showed me all her pain. Once this happened, I began to carry my sister’s pain with me

everywhere and when my sister was kicked out of the house, I became angry and did not care to

much about life anymore. I started drinking and I even stole money from my mom to pay for

things that I wanted. I knew that stealing was wrong, but I did not care. Of course, my mom

lxv
found out and to be honest I think I was grounded most of my High School life. I did not care

though and when I turned seventeen, I received my license, and I made a terrible decision that

would change my life. It was skip day, and I never skipped a day of school in my life but for

some reason I decided to go with my friends down to the river and of course we decided to go

drinking. I then decided because I did not care, to drive to another friend’s house after I had been

drinking. I made it all the way until we turned down a road that was probably two miles from my

friend’s house. The road was very twisty and for some reason my friends in front of me sped up,

so I pressed on the gas thinking that I could go around these turns as quickly as they were going.

The truck I was driving spun out of control and I flipped and slid three hundred yards. I

remember as I flipped, I was thinking to myself well this might just be the end, I could hear the

pavement scrapping against the top of the truck as I was sliding but for some reason, I was able

to survive the accident and walk out of the truck with barely a scratch on me. I was in shock at

what I had done, but for some reason I knew that I was being protected by something. I was not

sure what this something was, but I knew I had been protected and that was the only thing that

saved me from dying that day. I did not talk about this to anyone, instead I was taken in an

ambulance to the hospital where doctors would look me over and told me I needed to wear a

neck brace because of the whiplash that I sustained from the accident. As I was laying there in

the hospital I had so many things running through my mind, especially the thought of what my

mother was going to say. I could see and feel the disappointment and anger from her when she

walked into the hospital room. I knew then that my mom was in shock at what I had done. I

wanted to tell her that I was literally crying out for help, instead I kept all those emotions inside

and never said a word.

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 I was not happy at this time in my life and as I left the hospital, I saw a lot of people in

the waiting room. They were all quiet and in shock and I did not say a word I just walked out to

get in my mom’s vehicle, and she drove us home. My mom told me to go to the room when I got

home and I did, and as I sat there on my bed, I started to think about what just happened and I

could not get it out of my mind that something had helped me get through that accident. I

remember when my sister came over and came to my room, this was the only time my sister

gave me a hug that meant something to me, and she said I am happy that you are okay. I did not

even have words to say at the time for I was embarrassed at what I had done. My relationship

with my mother and I only grew worse for I wanted my mom to know that I was crying out for

help, but no words of encouragement ever came which only made me harden my heart. I did not

try anymore at anything, I felt all that I was, was a failure and there was nothing I could do about

it. I only tell this story to give you a little background at how lost I was at the age of seventeen. I

graduated before I turned eighteen. Within a few months after my graduation, I decided I would

join the Marine Corps.

I stayed with my best friend at the time and his father was a Vietnam Marine and told me

how he thought I would make a great Marine. I thought maybe this is what I needed because of

the way Mr. Buck had explained the brotherhood of the Marine Corps, I could still see that a lot

of what happened to him in Vietnam wayed heavy on his heart. Now remember when I said

earlier that when I was in the fifth grade, I do not know why but I knew that I would join the

military. Now I had never really thought about joining the military after that, but life has a way

of being synchronistic, though at the time I never thought about things like that. Everything now

in my life is full of synchronistic experiences and I know that everything I have ever experienced

in my life has led me to this point where I am today.

lxvii
 Getting back now to being in the car with my mom as she drove me to my sisters where I

would stay for the night before my surgery. My mom dropped me off and told me that she would

be back early in the morning to take me to the hospital. Now I was less than twenty-four hours

from my surgery and for some reason I was not worried at all it was as if I knew that everything

was going to be okay. At the time I was not sure why I felt this way I just did. I spoke to my wife

and children and told them that everything was going to be fine and not to worry. My children

told me how much they loved me and that they were excited to see me in ten days. My wife said

if you need more time to recover then take it. I said I would, and I told her not to worry and I

would see her soon. I spoke with my younger sister Katie for a little while and she was telling

me how she was really hoping that this surgery would help so I could start feeling better. I

thanked her for allowing me to stay the night with her and I told her I would see her in a couple

of days. I was able to get some sleep, which was nice because I wanted to make sure that I was

ready for my surgery in the morning. I had to be at the hospital at six-thirty in the morning to

check in and get prepped for surgery. My mom came with me which was great because I wanted

my mom with me during the surgery. I sat in a room with my mom where we discussed all sorts

of things from politics to the nonsense of the Veterans Administration. My mom knew how I felt

about both things. Now mind you this was 2019, so of course Donald Trump was in office, not

that I really cared much for politics but for some reason Donald Trump seemed to get everyone

worked up. I understand now why he did this sort of thing but at the time I just thought he was

an asshole. What I did understand was Donald Trump showed us in this country how far we had

not come. I grew up in a racist town and for those who do not believe in racism they should get

out more because racism absolutely exists. I never did quite understand why someone would

judge someone for the color of their skin instead of what was in their heart. When it comes down

lxviii
to it the idea of racism is ridiculous since we are not even colors. We are pure energy and when

you really break it down, we are just vessels having a unique experience in what we would call a

human body. The idea of racism is ridiculous and when people get over the fact that we are more

than just the color of our skin then maybe we can start moving in the right direction. We are

consciousness, and consciousness does not see color for consciousness knows that everything is

One. When humanity can grasp this concept people will start to see that racism is completely and

utterly ridiculous. The system wants you to see color so you can believe that we are not the

same. Everything is about division not unity and we have to get passed the idea of not liking

someone based on the color of their skin.

That is the one thing I really appreciated from my mom for she is a blond hair blue eyed

lady that adopted four children from various parts of the world. I remember my mom telling me

how she always thought it was hilarious when we went out to eat and people would look at us

like what in the world. I know right we certainly did not look like one another but then again

people have become so engulfed in ridiculous nonsense that they did not see a family they just

saw something weird. I always had respect for my mom for what she did it took courage for her

to adopt four children who were not white. We lived in a town predominately white so it seemed

even more strange that my mom would do such a thing. Some of the stories that she has told me

about the conversations she would have with people blew her mind the whole time thinking hey

you should come see my family. Not that it would have helped, most people have no idea what

this world is about instead they continue to judge someone based on appearance, income, and

how big their house is or what kind of car they drive. Hmmm… I wonder if that is what really

makes them happy and if it is my goodness, we have a lot of work to do. If you need to surround

yourself with all that materialistic nonsense and inanimate objects to make you happy then you

lxix
will never understand true happiness or joy, or what life is all about. I have met more unhappy,

miserable, wealthy people than I have poor. Hmmm… I wonder why that is? Oh, that’s right

they pride themselves on materialistic possession believing that is what defines who we are.

Now the time came for surgery, my doctor came in and asked are you ready Danny? I

said yes, I am, let’s get this over with. He just laughed at me and said all right I will see you in

the operating room, I said sounds good. Before I knew it a nurse came in and said it is time. She

took me back to the operating room and before I knew it, I was on the operating table. The

anesthesiologist said he was going to give me some medicine to put me to sleep. I knew what it

was going to feel like since I had to do the same thing for my first surgery. They started to count

down from ten and before I heard five the lights went out when I woke up from surgery

everything was different, I did not know what to make of what I was seeing at the time but all I

remember feeling was love. This lasted for only around fifteen minutes and when I started to

come to, I had tears rolling down my face. These were not tears of sadness these were tears of

happiness. My surgeon came over to me and said, is everything okay Danny are you in pain? I

asked is the surgery done and he said yes, it is, and I began to smile because I knew everything

was going to be okay. My surgeon said how was the pain and I said is this it, he asked what do

you mean; is this it? I said the pain was fine and that I felt great. He looked at me and said it is

probably just the drugs talking. I said sounds good Doc. They took me to my recovery room

where I was hooked up to a morphine pump for the pain, the nurses said they would be back to

check on me but if I needed anything for the pain all I had to do was push the button and it

would give me medication. Now at this time I knew something was different for the pain I was

feeling at the time was nothing compared to the pain I was feeling before. As I laid their

wondering what was going on I saw my mom come in and she asked me how I was feeling, and I

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said I was doing well. My mother asked if it would be okay if she stayed the night in my room

and I said that would be great. I was happy that my mom wanted to stay. She had my phone, and

I knew it was time to call my family. I called my wife and when she answered I could hear in her

voice that she was nervous. She said Danny how is everything how are you feeling? I said I felt

great and that the pain was nothing compared to my first surgery, I could hear her crying and she

was so happy to hear that I was okay, I know my wife was a nervous wreck and I told her

everything was going to be fine. I could hear my children in the background screaming and

yelling saying yes Daddy is ok and it filled me with a sense of love and joy that I had not felt in a

long time. Please remember I was at my breaking point before this surgery and to be honest I did

not want to live anymore. When she heard my voice though she knew I was doing much better. I

was falling in and out of sleep during the first twelve hours after surgery, but I also noticed that I

was starting to have mobility in my legs and not just any kind of mobility I was able to sit cross-

legged in my bed which I thought was quite interesting. My mom was sleeping and there I was

sitting cross-legged in the bed, and it felt amazing I cannot remember the last time I was able to

sit cross-legged, I remember the nurse came in and saw me and said how are you doing that you

should not be able to do that right now. I said I know right but it feels amazing. She just said,

well, that is amazing and if you feel good then I am okay with it. I stayed like that for a little

while and I tried to get some sleep, but I was not able to get particularly good sleep, someone

was snoring quite loudly, and it kept waking me up.

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 CHAPTER V

WHAT LOVE REALLY IS:

“Love is not a sentiment or an emotion nor is it desire or a selfish motive for right action

in daily life. Love is a wielding of the force which guides the world, which leads to the

integration, unity, and inclusiveness which impels action. Love is a hard thing to cultivate-such

is the inherent selfishness of human nature; it is a difficult thing to apply to all conditions of life,

and its expression will demand of you the utmost you have to give, and the stamping out of your

selfish personal activities.

Message from Ascended Masters

As I said earlier everything is vibration, frequency, and energy. Love in its true sense is

the highest vibrational frequency. This is not just human love, for humans have distorted the

concept of love. Love must be given freely, for when love is given freely it does not ask for

anything in return. So many people give love, wanting something in return. This is not love

because now you have put an attachment to love. Unselfish love does not seek attachment and it

does not wish to control anything or anyone. That is the gift of giving love freely for when love

is given freely the gift is being able to give love to the beloved. Humanity has distorted the

fundamental truth of love. They give love with their mind and not their heart, this has become a

problem which humanity is facing now. When you give love with the mind the one you give love

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to may know in their heart that what you are giving in not love and you are just saying the words

with no meaning behind them. Now you have just negated all the power that love has because

you have diluted it into a thoughtless phrase that so many use. Love comes from the heart and

only through the infinite source of love. Some call this source God, The Great Spirit, The Um, or

the I am. It does not matter what you call it for it is all the same infinite source of love.

Humanity has forgotten this because we have been hypnotized and programmed to believe false

ideologies. That we must be in fear of a God that is up in the clouds demanding us to worship his

every word. I have read the bible, and there is something not right about the way they portray

God. They portray God as something to fear which is the farthest thing from the truth. They also

portray God as being separate from us. Again, this is the farthest from the truth. Whatever you

call the infinite source of love is not separate from us but is what we are. We are love there is no

other truth. Those who wish to control humanity do not want you to make this connection with

infinite love for then you will begin to see through all the lies that have been pedaled. Not only

are we love we are consciousness having a unique experience in a human body. We also all share

the same consciousness, which is that which connects us to one another. We are just a unique

expression of all this is. Religions have been created to divide not to unite us. Unbelievable

nonsense, look at all the wars that have been created in the name of a so, called God. Infinite

love does not create wars we have been manipulated from the beginning and this manipulation

must and will come to an end. Those who have awakened are keenly aware that there is a

malevolent force at play here. This force seeks to impose its will from the shadows. The force

knows that once humanity awakens to the lies that have been pedaled the game is over. There

form of control will dissipate with the fusion of love that is being created by those who have

awakened and want to live in a world where there is no fear, hatred, racism, division, or

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separation. Every word I just described is a low vibrational frequency that the few have pedaled

to the many to keep them in a state where this energy becomes a food source to those who are

terrified of losing their so-called power. Love, compassion, empathy, kindness, joy, happiness,

are high vibrational frequencies. The time has come for humanity to raise their vibrations and

stop being slaves to the few. The few know the power rests in the many and there are nearly

eight billion people on this planet. Stop giving your power to them. Open your hearts and

remember who you are for humanity has been on its knees long enough it is time to rise and

become that which we are which is infinite love through an expanded state of consciousness and

awareness.

When you open your heart and connect to consciousness through infinite love everything

begins to change. You realize that there is no difference or separation. You will start to see

everything as one. All interconnected, there will be no white, black, or brown you will start to

realize that we are all a part of one another. There will no longer be hatred within you, because

when you say you hate someone what you are really saying is that you hate yourself. This is

exactly what the few who have been controlling humanity from the shadows do not want.

Everything you think or say creates an energy field those who wish to control us manipulate the

energy being dispersed everywhere to keep you disconnected from the Source. When you live on

a higher vibrational frequency those who wish to control you cannot because they vibrate on a

lower frequency which can only entangle with your frequency if you lower yours. Infinite love

does not want to control you it only wishes to free you. When you realize this, you will no longer

wish to contribute to the malevolent force behind the shadows for it feeds off fear, hatred,

racism, division, anxiety, depression, which is only dis-ease flowing through your so-called

body. When you are vibrating to all the harmonious frequencies your mind-body is no longer

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living in a state of dis-ease and you cut off the energy source that those who wish to control

humanity is feeding off.

“It is not enough for love to be shared: it must be shared freely. That, is to say it must be

given, not merely taken. Unselfish love that is poured out upon a selfish object does not bring

perfect happiness: not because love requires a return or a reward for loving, but because it rests

in the happiness of the beloved. And if the one loved receives love selfishly, the lover is not

satisfied. He or she sees that their love has failed to make the beloved happy. It has not

awakened their capacity for unselfish love. Hence the paradox that unselfish love cannot rest

perfectly accept in a love that is perfectly reciprocated: because it knows that only true peace is

found in selfless love. Selfless love consents to be loved selflessly for the sake of the beloved. In

so doing, it perfects itself. The gift of love is the gift of the power and the capacity to love, and,

therefore, to give love with full effect is also to receive it. So, love can only be kept by being

given away, and it can only be given perfectly when it is also received.”

Thomas Merton No Man Is an Island

This statement is profound, but it is a beautiful way of describing what love is. That is

why we must adapt to everyone we meet for not everyone can be shown love the same way. We

are all unique, therefore we must learn to listen, I do not mean listening in the sense that most of

us do. I mean really listening to whom you are talking to, this is the only way you will know how

to give the proper kind of love which can be received the right way. The love that I am

describing here is not human love, humans have distorted the concept of love and now what we

have being dispersed in this world is selfish love, a love that is always wanting something in

return. We have forgotten the concept of love and therefore are expressing ourselves in a way

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where love cannot be given or received the right way. We have put too many attachments to the

word love. Love does not want to be attached or possessed, for if you attach something to love

you are only trying to posses that which you say you love. Love is the highest form of

vibrational frequency there is, there is nothing else that even compares to this frequency.

Humanity unfortunately, puts a connotation to the word love as if it is a sign of weakness. This is

false for the love that I am describing takes strength and courage to give because you are now

opening yourself up to a different way of living and expressing your true self. Most, hide their

true selves because they are afraid, and live in a state of fear that does not allow them to become

what they are. Love does not fear, love is fearless and when you are fearless, you are free. So

many live in a state where they allow the actions of others to dictate their lives because they are

afraid of what someone might think or say. Just think about that for a moment, the idea that we

would allow what someone else thinks control and distort how we feel and think. How many of

us live a false life because we are afraid of what other might think? Why? Society has been

hypnotized to believe in one way of thinking. This thinking is not based on love, for if it was, the

world would not be in the state that we see itself in.

Now it is one thing to talk about love, it is another to know that you are love and live it.

This requires you to open your heart, and I am not talking about the physical illusory heart. I am

talking about your spiritual heart. This heart has been closed off and hardened, which only leads

to separation of what you are. I know all about closing this heart and allowing it to harden. I

lived this way for quite a while. Now since I have been five years old, I always saw the world

differently than others, I knew that there was something not right about this world and it

bothered me. I did not like to see hatred, violence, or acts of cruelty. I have always been able to

feel the pain of others, and for someone who is empathic the way that I am, this can be quite

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challenging because you are able to feel what others are feeling. The problem with this is you

can become entangled with low vibrational frequencies and start emitting these frequencies. We

are receivers and transmitters. Everyone needs to be aware of this so they can understand that

what you hate you will become. We must rise above those who wish to live in a low vibrational

state, do not lower your vibration for anyone the purpose of life is to raise your vibrational

frequency, so you can experience life the way it is meant to be experienced. High and low

vibrations cannot coexist with one another. People who live on a high vibration see the world

completely differently than those on low vibrational frequencies. High vibrational love sees

everything interconnected. They do no see division or separation for they know that everything

is connected. They start to lift the veil off and realize that this world has been hypnotized. They

understand that they live in this world but are not of this world. High vibrational beings want

only to bring people together and help, they know what an amazing feeling it is to live on a high

vibration, and they want everyone to partake in this experience.

Love is not selfish, thinking only of itself and not others. Love is selfless and knows that

everyone is only a mirror of themselves. Our hypnotized and programmed minds have been

living a false realty, in a world designed to entrap you. All the materialistic nonsense that

humanity surrounds themselves with is not what makes you happy and those who live this way

are always chasing something. They are chasing love and happiness, wondering why even when

they acquire all these materialistic things, they are still not happy. The love that you are looking

for is inside of you as it is inside of everyone. This is what those who control humanity do not

want you to know, because once you have this understanding the veil of lies will be lifted and

their so, called, power which they believe they have will cease to exist. We have allowed the few

to control the many because we are feeding a false lie, which has been designed to entrap us.

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Religions have been designed to keep us separated not bring us together. Think of all the

atrocities that have been committed by so called religions. These atrocities have been justified in

the minds of those that believe that some God is telling them that they should destroy others in

His name. Hmmm, interesting how they always label God as a Him, the true source of creation is

neither he nor she. Do you think love needs to label it-self? Labels are only a form of division,

love needs no label, for love knows that once you put a label on something you identify with it.

The world now puts a label on everything, hmmm, ever wonder why that is? Could it possibly be

designed to divide and separate us even more, so that we live in a state where we need to identify

our-selves as a label. The more labels we have the further we divide ourselves, which is exactly

what they want us to do.

Love does not want to be labeled, love wants to be free of all labels, divisions, and

polarities. Love does not want to separate us love wants to unite us for love knows it is the fabric

of all existence. Love is the glue that holds everything together. We must remember who and

what we are otherwise we will continue going in circles. Never knowing when something ends

or begins. We have been funneled garbage for so long that we have become entangled in the

garbage that is being taught form one generation to the next. There is a synthesis involved in

love because you are combing all polarities, divisions, and states of separateness. This is what

brings balance and harmony to that which you already are. When this fusion happens there is

only one thing that will become truth. This truth is that love is everything. The problem is people

have put a price to love. The moment you put a price to love you have destroyed the very

foundation of what love is. Love needs to be experienced for it to become truth. Love needs to

become a way of life a life that flows like the ocean. Then life becomes a dance, life becomes

poetry in motion because you are no longer controlled by the past or worried about the future.

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You are now living in the present in the NOW. The NOW is all that exists. When you live in the

moment there is no more fear you have now become fearless because you do not lower yourself

to a way of living that is designed to entrap you. You begin to see the world for what is, then

what you believed was important no longer controls you. There is no more attachment, and when

there is no more attachment there is no more control. Stop trying to control everything this will

lead to living a false life. A life that has been designed to entrap you in closed mind. Open your

heart and free yourself from the mind. The mind is a tool that needs to be mastered so it no

longer controls who you are. Your heart should be your compass not the mind.

Love is a state of being, it is a sense of awareness that you are part of something much

greater that yourself. Love is a state of oneness and knows there is no separation. Why live in a

state of fear, anxiety, depression, anger, hatred and disgust. Love knows that we are just mirrors

of one another. Therefore, love only tries to give to the beloved that which it needs. Humanity

has destroyed the concept of love, now this is not to say that there is no love in this world. Those

who know what love is and our vibrating to the frequency of love only want to see everyone else

living on the same frequency. Those who are controlling the state of mind of the many do not

want this to happen, they lose all their power or so-called power. How else do you control eight

billion people? You keep them in a state of fear. Fear is the absence of love, for love knows that

there is nothing to fear but fear itself. Love also knows that there is no death, only what we call

the human body dies not your consciousness, which is what we are. Humanity has been played

and has completely forgotten what they are capable of. The power does not rest at the top of the

pyramid, the power is at the bottom, for the bottom is the foundation. Therefore, stop giving

away your power and your sense of worth to those who wish to enslave you. Just because you

cannot see the bars does not mean you are not in a prison. We have imprisoned ourselves

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because we have allowed the few to dictate to the many false ideologies and beliefs. Every

religion claims that there so called God is the only God. What nonsense, look at all the wars and

violence that has been fought over a so-called God. The bigger the lie the easier it is to believe

and there is no bigger lie than what so called religions have portrayed.

Those who know this are playing their part on the biggest stage of life, for the ones who

know the truth are not being dictated to follow a false belief that has been used to enslave us

even more. They have broken out of this ridiculous way of thinking and are now only trying to

help humanity awaken to the truth. Society ridicules and condemns those who have seen through

the illusion. The are called dangerous, mad, and crazy. The few do not even have condemn these

people anymore because they have the masses doing their bidding for them. Why? Because we

will not conform to your ignorant ways of thinking.

“The people who have realized the meaning of life have only spoken to those who can

understand love because love is the meaning of life. Very few people have realized that love is

your very flame. It is not food that keeps you alive, it is love – which keeps you not only alive

but gives you a life of beauty, truth, silence, and millions of other priceless things.”

The Mystic Osho

“Love will caress you. But it will also go deep down to your roots and shake them to

make you free. It is something to be remembered: most of us go on living in a contradiction. On

the one hand we want freedom; on the other hand, we go on clinging to something. Freedom is a

risk. In the cage, the parrot is safe, secure. In freedom, although he gains the whole existence,

the whole sky, he loses the safety and the security. But freedom is such a value, anything can be

lxxx
sacrificed for it. And love needs absolute freedom to grow. Only then can you make the whole

sky your home. People afraid of insecurity, unsafety, choose just the word love but never

experience it. If you want to experience love, you will have to risk everything and all – all your

clinging’s, all your future safeties. But instead of sacrificing clinging’s and safeties and

securities, man in his deep sleep has sacrificed love and saved the security.”

The Mystic Osho

These last two statements are exactly what I am talking about, humanity has put a

connotation to the word love. In-fact they believe there is some weakness that comes with love.

This is the farthest from the truth, love is the most powerful force period. Love only grows it

does not diminish and the more love is given the more it is received. Love is infinite; therefore, it

has no limit. Love is not a business, but man has reduced love into a business. Why? Once you

put a price on love it no longer continues to be love you have just diminished love into a

possession something that you can control and own. Love is all about being free, and when you

are free you become fearless. For love is the absence of fear and love is priceless. Love gives

only itself because there is nothing greater to give. I speak from experience and truth for before I

became who I am today I was completely different. Now it is not to say that I did not have love,

the problem was that I put a price on love for I wanted the love that I showed to others to be

given the same way. I was not giving love freely expecting nothing in return, when

you give love expecting something in return that is not love, what I have just described is hate

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because love does not ask for anything in return, love is its own reward and the more you give

the more you receive. It is an endless and infinite source of energy this is the real source of

strength and courage. Humanity has really distorted what love is and because of

this distortion the masses are not expressing love the right way. This is how consciousness

comes in to play, the consciousness that I am referring to is the consciousness from the infinite

source. We are all part of the same consciousness and when your consciousness is fused with

love you no longer see separation, or race, you see everything interconnected. These false

ideologies have created layers upon layers of division which have caused nothing but

wars and constant fighting. Love is the highest vibrational frequency period and when you raise

your consciousness high enough you no longer entangle with low vibrational frequencies. Here is

where lies the divide that we are facing right now, for those who have awakened to this illusion

are ridiculed, condemned, called dangerous and even mad because the masses cannot understand

where they are coming from. Infinite love which exists in all of us will not succumb to the fear of

what others may think. Fear is being pedaled from every aspect of society and it is this fear that

disconnects you from the infinite source. Society needs the masses to live in fear, anxiety,

depression, misery, and anger for these are all low vibrational frequencies which you may call

emotions. Every thought and every word that is uttered creates and electromagnetic field and

depending on what you are emitting will distort your reality. Cut off the energy source to those

who wish to manipulate from the unseen and this world will begin to change. We are creating are

own prison, but we can also liberate ourselves from this false belief and take back our freedom.

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 We talk about freedom in a sense that we believe that we have it. Freedom is only

achieved when you raise your consciousness high enough. Love does not want to control you

love wants to free you and those who are manipulating everything do not want this. The power is

inside of us to free us from our mind which has been programmed and hypnotized to imprison

us. What I am speaking of comes from my own personal experience. I used to be entrapped in

this five-sense state. My mind became the master of my reality when in fact the mind is only a

tool. Now I am the master of my mind and no one and nothing can change that. I have raised my

vibrations to the point where I am no longer being controlled by low vibrations and this is what

true freedom feels like. There is no more doubt or concern, I no longer worry about the past or

the future because I live in the NOW. Living in the NOW, gives you control over your life living

in the past leads to depression a low vibrational state which is where most people live because

they have not figured out that everything is in the NOW. Thinking about the future gives you

anxiety another low vibrational state that has been created so people are always thinking about

tomorrow instead of living in the moment. For it is what you do in the moment that will dictate

past, present, and future. Time is relative, therefore depending on your vibrational state, dictates

how fast or slow time seems to be moving. Clocks exist not time. Love is spontaneous and does

not live in a reality trapped in the illusion of time. Love is also fearless for love knows that there

is no death only the body dies not your consciousness which is the spirit that is within all of us.

You have been sold a lie to control you and keep you in a state of fear of the unknown. That is

why those who know the truth do not live in a state of fear because there is nothing to fear.

Love is seeing yourself in everyone else, therefore, to say that you hate anyone is to say

that you hate yourself. Be mindful of what you say and think you may not think that it has any

consequences, it does because what you think creates an energy field and that energy field will

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entangle with anyone that is feeling the same way as you. We are creators and because we have

been hypnotized, we have created a world of hatred and fear instead of love, happiness, joy and

peace. Stop feeding into your fears you are only making those who want to control you stronger,

cut off their energy source and watch the world change before your very eyes. We are creating

this illusion because we have forgotten who we are. There is an underlying fear that is keeping

people afraid of becoming free. Most people talk about freedom, but they have never

experienced it they have never felt the happiness that comes with being free, Everyone, is so

preoccupied with what others think about them. Love does not fear what others think, for love

understands why they feel the way they do. Love knows, love does not think, love responds, love

does not react. Love is master of the mind not a slave to it. When love becomes a part of

everything that you do there is no working at it because you have now transformed your very

being to become love. I have had people ask me all the time, who would you say you are now? I

say that I am love there is no other label that I identify with. All the other labels are designed to

separate us not bring us together. Love does not do separation. The problem is we have been

manipulated to believe that we are all separated. By identifying with any label besides love you

have now allowed your mind to dictate your actions, instead of allowing your heart to guide your

mind, when this happens the mind-heart begin to co-exist with one another instead of against

each other.

The problem lies in trying to explain what love is; that is why love needs to be shown and

experienced. Most people just talk the talk, they do not walk the walk. This is two different

ideologies. When your consciousness awakens, you will go through a transformation. Your

journey will take you into the unknown, which is what most people are in fear of. Fear is limiting

all your capacities and abilities and now you are a servant to the mind. The mind is cunning, and

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it will talk you out of going deep inside yourself, but this is where the magic happens because

when you go deep inside yourself you are going to know that which is the truth. There are no

more lies or masks that need to be displayed for the world to see. By displaying these lies and

masks you are only confirming the amount of fear you are harboring. What will everyone think

if I do this? What will they say? Who cares! This process is about knowing who you are because

when you know who you are all that worrying seizes to exist and you no longer live in a state

where others are dictating your thoughts and actions. Anyone who wants to ridicule you for

knowing more about yourself and what existence is all about is lost. They are living in a

programed reality designed to keep them entrapped. I have lost friends and family members, but

I hold no ill will towards any of them, I just will no longer be influenced by the way they think

or what they feel might be best for me. I wish them all the best in all their endeavors and send

them love daily. Love must be experienced we can talk about love till we are blue in the face,

this will not show you what love is though. Love is a journey, and it takes courage to rid yourself

of all the nonsense that is spewed in this world. When love becomes the focal point of existence

everything starts to change because you live in the moment, and nothing is taken for granted.

Tomorrow is never promised so stop living for tomorrow all this does is deaden the very spirit

that is trying to become free. Learn from your past experiences so you do not have to keep

repeating the past, otherwise you will continue to entrap yourself in this time loop that we call

life.

It is not enough to just talk about love it must be shown. Love cannot be something that

you are trying to possess the moment you try to possess love it no longer continues to be love.

Love does not do possession because all that will come form this is resentment, for the one who

is being beloved will read right through that which you are trying to display. Love must be given

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selflessly. Selfless love does not need anything in return it is not looking for a reward, for being

able to give love in this way is magical. There is no price-tag on love that is given freely

therefore when love is given properly it becomes priceless. Only growing the more, it is given,

and the more it is given the more it is received. Therefore, love can only be kept when given

away. Love is infinite therefore it cannot be measured, calculated, or controlled. Stop trying to

possess love, love does not want to be possessed. Stop trying to possess something that you do

not understand, if you understand love, you will not try to possess it you will only want to give it

away. To possess love would mean you are trying to control love, you cannot control love, the

moment it becomes a form of control you are no longer giving it freely. Anyone who receives

love in this manner will know exactly that it is not genuine, then resentment is created, which

will lead to harboring emotions. Most people do not know their thoughts and words have such an

impact on life. They do not realize the ripple effect they are creating. Emotions are vibrational

frequencies and depending on your vibrational frequency high or low will dictate everything

about you. You can create peace, harmony, balance, happiness, joy, and love or you can create

hatred, anger, chaos, destruction, anxiety, depression, misery, and despair. The choice is yours.

Love is fearless because love is the absence of fear. Love and fear cannot coexist.

Humanity has reached a point where fear is prevalent everywhere. Fear only creates more fear,

as love only creates more love. As I said earlier the choice is yours. What sort of world do you

want to create a world built on fears, lies, and false ideologies or a world built on truth, freedom,

love, and happiness; I will not live in a state of fear for there is nothing to fear. I do not fear the

unknown, which is what most people fear. The unknown has been used as a tool of manipulation

to control you. We are giving away are power of who we are and being exploited because of our

fears. Believing all the nonsense that is funneled through a system designed to keep you in fear.

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Break free from the system and watch the fear dissipate, those who have broken free of the

system do not fear anything which makes them fearless, they live in a vibrational state that does

not entangle with everyone else. Yes, they are in this world, but they are no longer of this world.

They do not worry what others think of them because they understand why they think this way.

This is a dog-eat-dog world. Everyone is trying to get ahead. I am all for bettering yourself but

not at the expense of others. When exploiting others becomes your way of getting ahead you

have lost the very essence of who you are. Love does not exploit others for their own needs. You

have entangled yourself in such a low vibrational state that you do not care who you hurt on the

way. You have lost your empathy, because when you have empathy for others you can put

yourself in their shoes and see things from their eyes. Empathy will not try to exploit you or take

advantage of you; empathy will help you to see that which is blind to most. Everyone has eyes

and ears, but few see and hear.

Love is poetry in motion when one becomes love life then becomes a dance. Those who

can dance to life only want to show others how to dance with them. Love does not do separation,

love only wants to unite everything. The mind sees everything separated the heart see everything

connected. That is why our consciousness needs to be raised, for once your consciousness is

raised you will also see that everything is One and you will realize the truth. Truth is what I am

trying to present not lies, our world has been built on a foundation of lies, this, is why the

foundation is falling apart because anything built on lies will never hold. You will have to keep

building on the lies you have created. The time has come to tear down the lie so everyone can

start to see the truth and when everyone sees the truth those who believe that they are in power

will no longer be able to wield the force of fear that they use as a form of control. When love

begins to precipitate everywhere the source of energy that is being used as a form of control will

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no longer exist. Stop giving away your power to this nonsense that is only exploiting you. Free

yourself from your mind and become One with the infinite source of love. Do not conform to

this false reality that has been designed to control you. Release your fears and become fearless.

Stand up and become what you are meant to be, take back what is rightfully yours. You are

infinite spiritual beings having a unique experience in what we call a human body. Know that

there is no death only the illusion of death. Everyone fears death, if you fear death, it is because

you do not understand life. Take back that which has been given to you. Free yourself from this

false reality.

“Only in rare moments of love does communication happen, otherwise it is always a

quarrel, a subtle conflict. You say one thing, the other understands something else. The other

says something, you understand something else. If you really want to communicate, become

more and more loving – because love is needed, not language. Language is a barrier; Love is a

bridge.”

The Mystic Osho

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 CHAPTER VI

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN KNOWLEDGE AND WISDOM:

“Knowledge has no capacity to dispel ignorance. Knowledge is a false phenomenon. It is

not wisdom at all, it is just the opposite of wisdom. Knowledge is borrowed, wisdom is the

flowering of your innermost being. No university can offer it, no scripture can offer it and no

scholarship is, capable of giving it. They are all important efforts, but they have been deceiving

millions of people for thousands of years. Yes, they make you knowledgeable. To be

knowledgeable is one thing, to know is totally different.”

The Mystic Osho.

There have been instances and stories from history, which have described certain people

as being enlightened. These individuals have a sense of knowing, they have realized who and

what they are, and they know that all knowledge is borrowed. True wisdom comes from your

innermost being. Wisdom is a knowing and the heart knows the mind thinks. Our society is built

on the knowledge that is funneled through a system designed only to teach you what those who

run these systems want you to know. They do not teach truth in fact most of these systems teach

lies. These institutions that so many put their faith in have been teaching how to live within the

system. They do not want individuals who think outside the system or question the methods of

what they are teaching. When in fact what is being taught is borrowed knowledge being passed

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down from one generation to the next. Those who think outside the system see right through the

nonsense and they will not conform to what everyone else believes and thinks. Just think about

all the useless knowledge that is taught in these institutions which do not measure your actual

intelligence. The schooling systems only measure how well you can memorize something. If you

can memorize the nonsense that they teach, you will be rewarded in learning more nonsense in

what is called levels of higher learning. Higher learning what a joke, only learn what we teach

you and if you conform you will be rewarded. Rewarded with what? More debt designed to keep

you in a state of stress and worry. Everything is designed to keep your mind enclosed with

everything that is being funneled. Those who know what this world is have been manipulating

and hypnotizing you to conform you to their way of thinking. Their way of thinking is wrong,

and it will not bring you any form of enlightenment and if you are looking for wisdom you will

not find it in these institutions that are designed to close your mind, not open it up.

Closed minds are exactly what the system wants it does not want open minds. Everything

is designed only to focus on the left hemisphere of the brain. Those who understand this world

knows that the right side of your brain is your creative side. The side where you intuition comes

in. Hmmm… is it any wonder why they only focus on the left hemisphere of the brain. It

certainly does not take a genius to understand why this is going on. We are supposed to be using

both sides of the brain which bring balance and harmony within yourself. This, is, why you have

the symbols such as the yin and yang that represent who we are. It is when both hemispheres of

the brain work together instead of against one another where you will have balance in your life.

One side cannot overpower another there must be balance but reality has been designed to keep

us focused on the left side of the brain. There is a reason for this because a transformation will

occur when you have balance of both hemispheres. You will then begin to combine both your

xc
masculine and feminine sides which is exactly what you are supposed to do because this will

bring you to a state of oneness. There will be no separation only unity, and when this unity

happens within yourself you will know what it is to be complete. You will no longer be a slave

to the mind you will become the master of the mind and know that the mind is just a tool, to help

you navigate through the mind-field of existence.

You can either become the master of your reality or a slave to it. As always, it is your

choice. You decide what happens. When you allow your heart to be open something will start to

change. You will begin to see the world in a different light. Now this two-ness and separation of

left and right hemispheres must be used in such a way that the thesis and antithesis become

synthesis. This is the art of life. The art of life is a dance, poetry in motion, you will start to

realize you are not just a droplet in the ocean, you will know that you are the ocean. This is the

transformation that I am talking about. This is something that must be experienced, only

experience will give you absolute truth. To find the truth you will have to go deep inside

yourself, you will have to discard all the masks that are being shown to the outside world. You

must penetrate through the veil of lies to get to the truth and everyone’s path is different. Yes, we

are all a part of the same consciousness, but we are all unique therefore what works for one may

no work for another. Only you can know who you are completely, but this takes an act of

courage, you will have to become fearless to know love and then become love. Stop putting a

connotation or weakness on love, love is the most powerful force in existence, it is the glue that

holds everything together. To become love, you will have to rid yourself of fear, this is where

everyone hesitates. Everyone says they want to be free, but the masses are afraid to achieve

freedom. They are afraid because they fear the unknown, it is much easier to put a mask on your

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face and portray to the world that everything is ok. It takes fearlessness to transform the darkness

into light.

“Religion has done a great disservice to humanity; it has wounded the human heart by

creating guilt. It lives on guilt and when you have created guilt in people, they are caught in

your net; now you can exploit them. Guilt is the spider’s net. Make people feel guilty and they

are in your power. Then you can manipulate them. Now you can force them to surrender. You

can force them to do things for you.”

The Mystic Osho

This last statement describes religion perfectly, and I will not associate myself with any

religion. I am about truth and religions have been created to divide us not unite us. Guilt is a

tremendous source of low vibrational energy is there any wonder that religions have exploited

guilt to keep humanity in a low vibrational state. Guilt is an emotion used to exploit humanity to

live in a state of fear. I have heard so called religious people say wisdom is to fear God. What a

bunch of nonsense, now I have said earlier I do not care what you believe in, what I am about is

truth and I speak from experience. My experiences have led me to the truth, but I was willing to

die to know the truth for I do not fear death religions are designed so that you fear death. I will

never fear death in fact I welcome death. Death is a part of life, there is no avoiding it, but we

have become to consumed with human death, your consciousness never dies only your body

does. Now all the so-called power that religions have seize to exist they can no longer exploit

your emotions and entrap you in fear. Free yourself from this nonsense and live the life that you

were intended to live. Wake up and remember who and what you are, stop letting others dictate

your thoughts and emotions. If the masses want to live in a state of fear that is their choice, do

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not push your convoluted beliefs onto me though. When you try to impose your will, for your

benefit I will call you out, speak the truth, and say it is wrong. If you want to ridicule and

condemn me, go right ahead, it will not change anything about me, I will not entangle with your

low vibrational state I choose to go high not low. I have already been ridiculed and condemned,

called crazy and insane it does not bother me I could care less what other people think of me. I

will not allow anyone to dictate how I should live. I do not try to change the way anyone thinks,

everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Everyone is trying to dictate how others should live.

Why? Focus on yourself and stop trying to force your opinions on everyone.

What I speak of, only comes from experience, I do not speak on matters that I have not

experienced. I have had many experiences in my life some good and some not so good. I have

had to learn from all my experiences so that I do not repeat the same mistakes. We are here to

experience life not run away from it. I do not live in my past or worry about the future because I

know that what I do in the moment is all that matters. Everything is in the NOW! We are

creating all these barriers withing ourselves because we have not figured out how to live in the

NOW. Stop living in the past or the future it is this which is causing the dis-ease within you.

Why? Can you not see that it is what you do in the moment that dictates your life? Stop

repeating yourself, you are not learning you are only repeating the same thing over and over and

causing the madness to never end. I created a lot of madness in my life because I was living in

my past and worrying about my future. Not realizing that what I do in the now will dictate

everything in my life. We continue to harbor these emotions because we have not figured out

how to stay in the moment. Everyone needs constant stimulation, or they do not know what to do

with themselves. You are being overloaded with the constant bombardment of information. This

has become a severe problem because now we have a society where everyone is looking for

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instant gratification. All you need to do is look around, everyone is on their phone or their

newest piece of technology because they are consumed with everything else that is going on

instead of what is going on in their own lives. They are trying to escape from their life because

they have not figured out what genuinely makes them happy. Happiness comes from within not

from without. Love comes from within not from without. Humanity is living outside of

themselves instead of within themselves.

I know from experience what sort of chaos this causes. I lived the completely wrong way

before my awakening. It is not to say that I did not have love or happiness, but I was looking for

it in all the wrong places. I portrayed to the outside world that there was nothing wrong, I was

living a lie. This lie, created a false-reality and because I cared about what others thought about

me, I had no control of my own life. Sound similar because the masses are doing exactly this.

We are allowing what others think to control us in all aspects of life. I will not live like this, and

I do not care about what anyone may think. I am only trying to help you understand that this is

the wrong way to live, I can say this because I lived this way, and it was destroying me from the

inside out. The freedom that I have now, is a liberating experience because no one and nothing

controls who I am. I do not need anyone’s gratification to make me feel better about myself.

That part of me died along with all the other burdens I was carrying around. I do not need to

carry the burdens of my past with me anymore, I have learned from my experiences and by only

moving forward I use my experiences as a learning platform. Everyone is running away from

freedom instead of running toward it. The problem is everyone says they want freedom, but they

are not willing to walk through the fire to achieve it. Fear has them in a captive state and this fear

has taken over the very spirit of who we are.

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 I have walked through the fire for I have gone deep inside myself. I was willing to risk

everything to know the truth and by risking everything I was able to gain what I have always

been looking for. This is what the transformation is, it will require you to walk through the fire

and only if you have the courage to transform the darkness within you into light will you achieve

a higher level of consciousness. This consciousness is the only way to transform yourself. This

transformation will uproot the very foundation of your existence. The foundation that you have

created is false what I am trying to tell you is how to create the right foundation. When your

foundation is built on love everything will fall into place. All the inner fighting within yourself

will seize to exist, there will be nothing to fight about. You will become peaceful and live in a

state of oneness. This oneness is what we are, stop looking to the sky for answers the answers are

within yourself. When you search within yourself this will take you on a journey to the

unknown. The unknown is what you are harboring within yourself, not everyone is willing to

take this journey, there is a reason for this because you are going to find out exactly who you are.

Humanity has become so used to wearing masks they have no clue on who their real self is. I

know exactly what this feels like, I had so many masks I could not make sense of who I was

anymore. My ego was enormous, but my ego gave me the courage to go into the unknown and

find the truth. I wanted to know just how far did the rabbit hole go? For myself, the rabbit whole

seemed endless and for a while I did not know what was real anymore. What I did know was

everything was love and I mean everything. This transformation had to happen because I was

living in a state of despair and madness. The suffering within myself became to much for me to

bare and I was willing to die to know the truth. My experience was traumatic, and I am not

saying that everyone will go through the same experience, but my ego had created a lot of

darkness within that needed to be transformed. The darkness that I lived in was killing me from

xcv
the inside out, though I was able to display to the world that I was fine. This was only my pride

speaking.

“TRUTH IS A CHALLENGE, the greatest there is. It is a challenge to enquire, it is a

challenge to seek, and it is a challenge to be. It is not something that you will possess some-day,

it is something that you become. And, in fact, you can become only that which you are already,

you can become only your being. The challenge of truth is the challenge of your own innermost

core, the challenge to come home, the challenge to come back to the center, the challenge to

recognize yourself, the challenge to know, to encounter yourself. It is arduous. To face oneself is

arduous – because we have too much in our ignorance; in our self – ignorance we have staked

too much. So self – knowledge begins to become very, very difficult. The journey is arduous. It is

going to be difficult; it is very inconvenient to go into the unknown, because you have too, move

away from your securities, away from your comforts, away from all that you have belonged to

up to now – your identities. But only when you move away from yourself do you come to

yourself. Because that which you think yourself to be right now is your real nature. It is a

deception that you have managed; it is a hallucination it is an auto-hypnosis.”

The Mystic Osho

This statement is beautiful because it is describing exactly what I am talking about. This

is what this journey is all about, truth. For the truth will set you free, this truth is what you will

go through to know who and what you are. If you are not willing to sacrifice everything the truth

will never come. You are going to have to be reborn, and when you are reborn you will know,

what truth is. I will no longer live in a lie. I have lived in a lie for far too long. I live in truth and

by living in truth I now have balance and harmony which has brought peace and happiness. This

xcvi
is all I have ever wanted because by living in truth everyone and everything around me knows

that what I say comes from the heart. My mind has lost control I am no longer controlled by my

mind. The mind is only a tool that I use, by mastering the mind nothing and no one can control

me anymore or dictate how I should think. Here is the problem with coming to the truth

everyone who is sleeping and has not awakened to the reality of what and who they are will

struggle trying to understand why you act the way that you do. Why you see the world so

different from everyone else. The ridicule and condemnation will begin and that is when

everything will start to change. Now that your vibrational level has risen anyone who continues

to remain on a low vibrational level will not understand and because they do not understand they

will condemn you. This is how it is for anyone who has reached a certain level of consciousness

and I completely understand why they feel the way that they do. They have not gone through the

transformation of raising their consciousness. Consciousness is who we are and until you have

reached to gain consciousness you will remain asleep. Controlled by the nonsense that is spewed

everywhere. Only those who have eyes and ears will be able to see and hear what I am saying for

we live in the kingdom of the blind and in the kingdom of the blind the one-eyed man is king.

When you decide to take this journey to the truth a transformation will happen within.

The truth is not in the clouds so please stop looking up. The truth is within, it has always been

within. The truth will stand up to all the lies that have been told because the truth does not do lies

the truth only will do what is right regardless of the implications. I do not worry about what may

come from what I say in fact I welcome any ridicule that I may receive. I know the reality of

what everyone believes is truth and if that is the reality that you want to live in go right ahead, I

am not trying to conform you to a rigid ideology of so-called known truths. What I am speaking

of is going into the unknown which is the only way that you will get to the truth. Wisdom comes

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from within not from without. You could read all the books in the world, and you could call

yourself knowledgeable, but what you have gained is something borrowed. You did not create

anything and what you have is borrowed knowledge. Knowledge borrowed is not wisdom,

wisdom knows from within what is true and what is false, it no longer needs to continue to

portray a false reality to fit in with society. I am not trying to fit in with society, for society is

wrong, if society was right, we would not be in the situation that we are all currently facing.

Societies have been built on lies not truths and I will conform to their nonsense. To conform to

their nonsense only shows how much fear you live in because you are so terrified of losing the

safety net that society provides. As I said before what I am talking about takes courage because

you are going against all that is known, only cowards venture into the known, fearless warriors

venture into the unknown. Fearlessness in its truest sense is love and those who have the courage

to walk into the unknown will come out fearless. Those who have the courage to embark on this

journey walk the warrior’s path of love that has no fear, anxiety, depression, misery, despair,

hatred, or anger. You will not have those emotions dictating your life anymore, you will become

free. Truth is about freedom! Freedom is what we must strive for without freedom you will never

know what it is to live. To live without fear is the greatest freedom you can have for you will

live each moment as it is your last because you will not fear death for death is an illusion.

The fear of death is the illusion of life and because you have not figured out how to live

you will certainly not know how to die. In-fact you will continue to live a life already dead, in a

coma, asleep to the reality of what is real and what is not. Fear is controlling and dictating your

every move in this game of life and until you rid yourself of fear you will never experience what

life really is. You will never see the beauty in everyone and everything. Fear was never really

my issue, but anger and hatred certainly were, they were dictating my actions. I do not have to

xcviii
use my anger or hatred to get my point across and because I do not harbor any of these emotions

anymore those who have tried to tell me what is right and wrong do not even bother me. I

understand why they do not understand where I am coming from, I have done a complete 180

and because of this drastic change it is difficult for anyone who knew me to relate because again

they have not figured out what this world is all about. The truth is that people have never loved,

they have only believed that they love; otherwise, there would not be so much misery. Love

would have removed all this misery.

“To discover the truth, you have to risk your life. You will have to go against the whole

structure of lies around you. You will have to become a lonely traveler, not even certain whether

anything like truth exists or not. It needs tremendous courage. Lies don’t need any courage; any

coward can do it. All the cowards are doing it: fabricating, manufacturing beautiful lies,

decorating them, presenting them to each other. For a moment it looks like it is giving

happiness, but a lie after all is a lie. Soon you find it is a dead toy. You have been deceived,

hence the misery. But still people don’t see the basic cause. They think, this man has deceived,

this woman has deceived. It is not a question of this man or this woman; this whole society is

living in such a way that the lie has become the way of life. The better you can lie, the more

logical you can make your lie appear, the more respected you will be.”

The Mystic Osho

The bigger the lie, the easier it is to believe. And humanity is caught up in the biggest lie

that has ever been told and instead of questioning it they accept it and perpetuate it. What

nonsense, the Catholic church with their bullshit and the lies that come out of there

establishment, they have no idea what it is to be religious, and they certainly do not know God.

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This goes for all religions because religions are not speaking the truth, they are perpetuating lies.

Religions have been designed to keep you in a state of fear and guilt. They are not enlightening

anyone all they are doing is feeding off the energy of the masses who believe in the nonsense

that they are spewing. Those who have awakened know the truth and only those at the highest

level of this game we call life, know that they view the masses as pawns in a game they have no

idea they are playing. You have been played and you have been had and it is time for the truth to

come out. Everyone talks about truth but only a few, want to know the truth. The truth needs to

be experienced not just told, this is where the problem lies for everyone has been told what the

truth is and not experienced it. How can you know the truth if you have not experienced it? You

are just buying someone else’s truth and certainly not experiencing your own. A false truth has

been spread all over the world and everyone has bought it, it is easier to believe in the known

than the unknown. The unknown will take you to a place of uncertainty where you will have to

rely on yourself instead of someone else. You will have to be fearless to go into the unknown for

into the unknown is where the answers are. We have become a robotic society continuously

repeating ourselves from one day to the next. Not ever really living because to live will require

living in the moment, in the NOW, never worrying about the past and not thinking about the

future. All that matters is the NOW, in this moment where everything is happening. What we do

NOW is all that matters. When you live in the NOW you live in peace and in harmony because

nothing and no-one is dictating your actions. All control of others is then lost, and you begin to

live for others and not only yourself. You begin to understand that you are who controls your

reality. You can go on creating chaos and destruction, or you can create harmony and balance

with the inpouring and outpouring of love that is infinite.

c
 Drop all that you know or think you know for the mind is cunning, it is in unknowing

where wisdom begins to arise. If you believe that you know all that there is to know then you are

still being controlled by the ego which loves to know everything. When unknowing becomes a

part of your life then the ego is dropped, and real wisdom will begin to flower from your inner

most being. The inner most being which is your true self. The mask that you display for the

world to see is not your true-self that is your false-ego which has been on display for far too

long. You could read all the books in the world. I promise you though it will not give you the

answer that you are looking for because enlightenment and consciousness cannot be found in

books. There have been many people who have written books who speak on these topics, and

they all say the same thing which is if you want to become conscious you will have to open your

heart to love. I have been saying that love is everything and that there is no other truth. We have

destroyed the concept of love because we are trying to possess everything and everyone. Love

wants to be experienced so it can be shared. Such a simple concept and we have turned

something simple into something complex. This is the problem when the mind controls and

dictates your actions. You have cut off the connection to the true source which comes from the

heart not the head. The heart knows what it wants, and the mind always talks its way out of it.

The mind has been programmed and hypnotized in a false belief of knowing, true

wisdom comes from a sense of unknowing, because by unknowing you will continue to be open

to all possibilities for there are no certainties, certainties are dangerous because it will stop the

growing process dead in its tracks. When knowing of the unknown begins to take shape, a

process will begin to occur. A transformation will start to happen from within, everything will

become new, every moment will have a sense of purpose, everything that you do will become

meditative. You do not need to sit and meditate to raise your consciousness these are just

ci
techniques that have been used to help quiet the mind. The mind is being bombarded with an

influx of useless information which is why the mind is always in a state of chaos instead of in a

state of silence. In the silence is where you can quiet the mind of all outside distractions, all the

outside distractions have been designed to keep you constantly unaware of what you are. There

is a reason for all of this, those who perpetuate their beliefs on the masses do not want the

masses to raise their vibrational frequencies, the world has been designed to close yourself from

the infinite source of love.

When you are awakened, all that you thought was important even life and death

situations will cease to control your thoughts and actions. You will realize that life can be

simple, and you can wield the energies that you need to control your own actions and not allow

anything to dictate your actions. Everything is energy, frequency, and vibration, which is

controlled by consciousness and love. Without consciousness and love you will remain in a low

vibrational state which is exactly what this system wants. WAKE UP! The time has come to

destroy the foundation of lies that have destroyed who we are. The so-called powers that be do

not want to lose control of what they have worked so hard to control. I do not care what they

want I want to see a world that embraces love not destroys it. The foundation needs to be built on

selfless love, given freely and not asking for anything in return. When this foundation is built the

world will change. The world will change for the better because greed, envy, jealousy, hatred,

anger, fear, anxiety and depression will cease to exist, the time has come to infuse everything

with higher vibrational frequencies. Why are we creating a non-existent hell within our-selves?

We can create our own heaven! A paradise where everyone can enjoy their lives, stop waiting

for God to come down from the heavens and save you. If you want to be saved, save yourself

and you can start whenever you want. There are no chosen ones for everyone is capable of being

cii
enlightened it just takes an act of fearlessness for fear is the opposite of love, these two polarities

cannot coexist. Love is the synthesis that needs to be fused from within. This is when both your

masculine and feminine side come together, the left and right hemisphere of the brain. Hence

where the Ying and the Yang come from. The darkness that everyone talks about is not outside

of us, it is within everyone and until you fuse these two polarities together to become one all the

polarities that we have created will continue to exist. You have been led to believe that

everything is separate, this is the farthest from the truth for everything is one, all interconnected,

there is no division or separation, these have only been ploys that have been designed to keep us

separated. This is not who we are, we are all connected, every, last one of us and when you

realize this you will understand that there is no reason to hate another person. We are all mirrors

of one another. We are all part of the same infinite source the only difference is we are all having

a unique experience in what we call a human body.

What I speak of only comes from experience I would never write about anything that I

have not experienced. Only by experience can you know what truth is. Experience is the greatest

teacher in life, and it is how we learn from these experiences that define who we are. We can

either learn and grow or we can go on repeating our past. The past is dead so stop trying to

change the past by living in it. The only way to change the past is to live in the present. It is what

we do right now that controls everything our past, present and future. Time is an illusion as it is

relative and though it has its uses it should not be controlling your life. We must become the

masters of ourselves so nothing can control us. These are all just tools of the mind which we are

to use to navigate through this mind-field easier. The moment you let the mind become the

master of all that you do, you lose control of your own life. Why be a slave to the mind when

you can be the master? When you master the mind, nothing can control you this is what I mean

ciii
of being free, you no longer allow anything or anyone to dictate your life. To be free you must

rid yourself of all that can control you. You must open your heart and allow the pouring of love

to become everything. You must be able to go into the unknown, only those who are free of the

mind will go into the unknown because the mind will always try to talk you out of venturing into

the unknown. Be aware of the mind, for the mind is cunning and it will deceive you. It will talk

you out of doing what you know needs to be done. The mind has been programmed by the

constant bombardment of nonsense that is being pedaled by all facets of society. Quiet the mind

and free yourself of all that is holding you back.

The society that we live in knows nothing of quieting the mind, it is as if they are afraid

of the quiet. We are in constant need of some sort of stimulation, I have met so many people who

cannot sit still and quiet for more than a couple of minutes, they have become obsessed with

constant noise, and they have allowed their minds to become their master and dictate everything

they do. The mind does not like the quiet because it is in the quiet that the flowering of your

existence will begin. The silence is the language of love, the silence is where you will start to see

the beauty in everything, and you will take the time out to appreciate everything around you. We

have become so obsessed with all this constant stimulation that we have become robotic to the

point where everyone needs to be doing something or they will lose their minds in the boredom

that they are creating. What sort of madness is this, where we cannot even appreciate anything

anymore except for how many likes someone may have on their social media page? What a

bunch of nonsense if you need the gratification of others to make yourself happy, you will never

know what real happiness is because the happiness that you are looking for can only come from

within. Self-satisfaction only leads to feeding the ego which deadens the very spirit of who and

what you are. Infinite love does not need the praise of others to be happy for infinite love knows

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that it is in giving love freely which allows you to receive love properly. Love within yourself is

what will give you happiness and you will then be able to give the proper love to others that they

need because you will start to see yourself in others.

When you start to see yourself in others, is when the real magic begins because you

will start to see what is inside of them rather than what is outside of them. The inside is where all

the juices of the nectar are. The inside is where beauty shines. The inside is where everything

begins and ends. The inside is where love is dormant waiting to explode like the fires of a

volcano. This explosion is the outpouring of love that is only waiting to be felt. This feeling is

not describable in words this feeling is something that must be experienced. This is the

awakening that I am talking about. There will be an inpouring and outpouring of love that would

be difficult to explain if you have never experienced it. Everything will begin to change in your

life you will no longer see yourself as separate, you will start to see yourself as part of the whole.

This is because we are all a part of the infinite whole, we are all connected and when this is

realized you will start to understand the foolishness of what we call separation or division. When

you can start to see yourself in others you start becoming something different you do not act the

same way as everyone else you will become connected to the whole and not feel separated

anymore. You will understand the simplicity of so many things that society has made complex.

The materialistic nonsense that people surround themselves with will certainly not mean the

same to you. You can appreciate the usefulness of such things, but it will have no bearing on

your life anymore. You will not be controlled by the concept of gathering even more things

because you will understand that none of these things genuinely make you happy. Happiness as

always comes from within, as does love, peace, balance and harmony. All, of these feelings are

high vibrational frequencies. The problem is most people do not live in this state they live in a

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state of madness, causing more suffering than what is needed. They have become programmed

by the ideologies of others in believing that the only way to live is to suffer. This is again more

nonsense being pedaled by organizations and religions to keep you in a state of misery and

despair.

This is a state of psychosis that we are in, and it is time for the masses to awaken from

their coma of what they call life. The majority are living a lie, which has been created to control

you not to free you. Control has become the biproduct of so many that if they feel like they have

no control they literally begin to lose their minds. The mind has become so preoccupied with

everything else that it has no time to discover what is real and what is not. We have forgotten

who and what we are and those who continue to stay in a low vibrational state will continue

living a life of separation instead of unity. Those who are manipulating things behind the scenes

know exactly what they are doing, and they have perfected the programming of the mind to

control the masses. There is no other way to control eight billion people if everyone starts to

understand what they are capable of and why they are here. The sense of control will vanish for

when the masses begin to awaken there will be no fear, and when fear no longer has control over

how you live and think, all the so-called power of the few will begin to dissipate.

“A wise man hesitates. A wise man cannot be so certain. A wise man knows the

multiplicity of life. A wise man knows the multidimensional existence. A wise man knows that all

that we know is nothing in comparison to that which is still to be known. The unknown is always

more than the known. The known is just like a grain of sand; Buddha said. What-so-ever I know,

he said, “Is just like a grain of sand, and whatsoever I don’t know is the whole sand of the earth,

of all the Ganges,” of all the rivers, of all the seas. Certainty is not something valuable. It is

cvi
comfortable, true; so is stupidity comfortable. An idiot seems to be the most blessed man. Why?

– he has no confusion, he has really no mind to be confused. He has such a tiny flicker of

intelligence that he cannot afford confusion. The greater the intelligence, the greater you can

afford confusion. Hence, I say this age is the age of confusion because this age is the age of

intelligence. The old certainty is gone and the old foolishness too – and good! And I hope it is

gone for good. Confusion has entered; this is the first step towards clarity. If you really are

courageous, you will question everything that you know, and you will question ABSOLUTELY.

And you should not be very soft about it. You should question everything that you know, and

through questioning, all that you know is eliminated. And don’t be in a hurry to be certain,

otherwise you will not be able to question. Your questioning will become dishonest. If your

questioning is honest, then it goes to the very core of your being. A seeker of truth becomes a

fire, a thirst, a great hunger. He puts his whole life at stake. Of course, he takes the risk of being

confused; he will be confused. But if you persist, and you don’t cling to something just for

clarity, just for certainty, just to be comfortable; if you don’t cling to something, if your search is

authentic, one day you will see – all has disappeared. First comes confusion; confusion cuts the

roots of your knowledge. Once all knowledge has disappeared, confusion also disappears –

because confusion cannot exist without knowledge.”

The Mystic Osho

Knowledge cannot be confused with wisdom they are two separate things. You cannot

even compare the two with being linked to one another. Wisdom knows by an unknowing all

that you have learned. Wisdom cannot be taught in any institution that has been created. The

greatest institution comes from within, and yet everyone is going somewhere else to learn what

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they think they need to know. I am not telling you not to go to school but be mindful of what you

learn at schools they have been designed to teach you only one way of thinking. These

institutions are focused on the left hemisphere of the brain, they have completely cut out the

right hemisphere where is where your creativity and intuition come from. The right hemisphere

is also the feminine side of the brain where the left hemisphere is the masculine side. Now do

you think it takes a rocket scientist to figure out why they have targeted the left hemisphere

rather than the right. Could it be because we live in a male dominated society, designed to not

identify the woman as an equal. When you combine the masculine and the feminine together you

have just fused the two sides of the brain, this is what we call synthesis. This is the alchemy that

must happen. This is where the real magic begins. There are those who understand this world

and use ancient knowledge only for their benefit. Certain organizations have been created to

suppress the knowledge so that the masses are not aware of what is going on. There are certain

aspects of secret societies that have destroyed the very foundation of what we are. They are

using knowledge that has been passed down through certain bloodlines to control the many. I

know all about these organizations and I have had a few of them try to recruit me. They try to

lure you in by using all your weaknesses against you. They will present themselves as wonderful

law-abiding citizens and the members of these organizations do not even know what they are

involved in. They have compartmentalized all the levels so that only the highest levels know

what is going on.

I know exactly what they are capable of, and they do not fight the way most of you

would consider fighting, they will come after your mind and try to destroy you from the inside

out. Only at the top levels of these organizations know what is going on. They wield a power that

only comes from low vibrations and that is why some who have had massive Kundalini

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experiences will be targeted. They will not target you the way that you think they will present

themselves in a way that is cunning, but they know nothing of love, and they certainly do not use

the knowledge that they have for the betterment of humanity. They have allowed those in the

shadows to dictate their thoughts and actions. They have closed their hearts to the point where

they will allow themselves to be possessed by entities from different dimensions. This may all

sound far fetched but as I have said I will not write about anything that I have not personally

experienced. I have been attacked by those who would consider themselves in position of power.

Their power only comes from darkness, they have become so entangled with this frequency that

they no longer have control of their minds. They have closed their hearts completely because

they are so afraid to lose the so-called power that they believe they have. Here is the beauty of

this game that we call life. These secret societies are terrified of the masses waking up for they

work off low vibrational frequencies predominantly fear. Fear is the opposite of love, love is

fearless. That is why they have been suppressing and keeping the knowledge from the masses

because they cannot afford to allow the masses to wake up. Their form of control will seize to

exist, for the simple fact that when you awaken you will realize that there in nothing to fear.

Especially not death, do not fear death only the body dies not your consciousness. This is what

the few who are controlling things from the shadows do not want you to know, they want you to

be in fear of death because it creates a massive amount of low vibrational energy which in their

terms is what they call food. I know this all sounds crazy but if you would just sit back and

watch the way we behave and act towards one another you would see the insanity of life and

how glaring all the nonsense is. They have manipulated societies for far too long and the time

has come to wake up.

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 What I speak of are experiences that I have gone through, I have seen things that would

make you question everything that you thought was real. There is so much being hidden from the

masses of who and what we are. Again, if you have never experienced what I am talking about

then you will not understand what I am saying. People have ears but they sure cannot hear or

listen. People have eyes but they do not see a thing, they cannot even see what is right in front of

them let alone what is in the unseen. Those who are awakened know exactly what I am talking

about. I do not have to call out those who came at me, I know who they are, and they know

exactly who I am. I am not hiding in fear or keeping my mouth shut, if this is what you thought

was going to happen than you did not learn a thing about who I am, but I learned everything

about you. Most of all I know that you have no courage, courage comes from within and what

you have within yourself is not courage you, have, fear corrupting you from the inside out. I will

not hide from the nonsense that you have created in fact I will attack the very foundations of

society that you have created. The system that you have created is built on lies, what I am talking

about is truth, truth has the ability, to crush a lie because truth is not built on a foundation of fear

truth is built on strength, and a sense of fearlessness that comes from love. You have falsified the

so-called sacred books of the past and have allowed the sickness of power, greed, fear, guilt and

manipulation to destroy the very foundation of life. I will not conform to your lies that you have

perpetuated, in fact I am going to pick apart your lies piece by piece. I will expose the weakness

of your foundation with words not with war. I will not raise my voice or impose my will on

anyone or anything, I will raise my words and show you just how weak you really are.

If you were afraid of me last year, you have not seen anything yet. I do not need to use

force, violence, anger, or fear to get my point across. I will expose you with my words and my

voice, I will not lower myself to your level, if you want to come to my level you will have to

cx
raise your vibration which is exactly what I want. Albert Einstein said, “You cannot solve

problems with the same level of consciousness that created them.” Perfect statement beautifully

said. This is exactly what we must do. We must raise our consciousness to a whole new level,

our consciousness is what will set us free. There is no limit to consciousness for it comes from

the infinite source of love. This consciousness has no boundaries or limits, it will not succumb to

your level. Your level is based on a state that I refuse to live on. Your level is nothing compared

to the infinite, and this, is why, there is so much secrecy. You came at me with everything you

had and still I would not bow to your nonsense. You tried to destroy me from within and still you

could not do it. This is how pathetic and weak you are and how much I know you live in a state

of fear. You can tell your masters I am here waiting, oh wait you already did and there is nothing

they can do about it either. Please try and silence me, it will only add fuel to the fire that comes

from within. Your strength is a lie, built on false ideologies. My strength is the truth and only

grows stronger each day. Your strength has limits, my strength comes from an infinite source

that has no limits. This, is why, I know you live in fear, you would not have come at me the way

you did if you were not afraid. Hmmm, what exactly are you so afraid of, oh yes that’s right, you

are afraid of the truth! The truth is what this is all about, you want to silence and condemn those

who have exposed you for the frauds that you are. Perpetuating a lie for your own pleasure and

needs. Controlling the many so only the few have control. If you are so powerful, then what are

you so afraid of. Could it be that you know that the love that I speak of can crush the very notion

of what you call power. You may be able to control the masses with your nonsense, but you will

not control me. I have no problem calling you out and I will continue to call you out. You cannot

scare me with anything, if my words bother you so much then that must be because they carry

some sort of weight and truth.

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 Lies have plagued this world for far to long as have half-truths. Half-truths are even more

dangerous than a lie because a half-truth has no certainty. They say the bigger the lie the easier it

is to believe and that is exactly what has happened. Lies have been told for far too long and these

lies are what is causing all this chaos. Everyone speaks about truth and yet most are not even

aware of what is true. The lie has been lived for so long that it has become the truth for so many.

The masses are living a false truth, they have created this truth in their mind, and they refuse to

believe anything else. The few do not even have condemn those who think outside the box, they

have the masses doing the work for them. The masses have bought into a system that is designed

to further separate us. The masses refuse to believe in the notion that the systems of government

that have been created are not designed to help you. They have been created to control you, just

because you cannot see the bars of the prison does not mean they do not exist. The prison of the

mind has been perfected to keep you in a state of confusion and fear. The fear that is emitted

from all facets of society have been designed for this purpose. The few cannot control the many,

they know that once the veil has been lifted their form of control will seize to exist.

I lived in the prison of the mind for far too long. By living in this state, I was not being

true to myself. When you cannot even be true to yourself, you are living a false life. Life is a gift,

and it should be lived to the fullest. When you live for the moment, everything begins to flow.

You begin to flow with the current of life. You do not allow yourself to be entangled with

anything that is not flowing with you. Peace and harmony start to become a way of life, chaos

dissipates from your reality. Your reality starts to become clear. Everything now becomes a

dance, the dance of life is an art. This will be difficult for the masses to understand because the

masses do not live a life of poetry in motion, they live a life friction allowing everyone and

everything to dictate who and what they are. Throughout history they have called the few who

cxii
have seen through the veil of deceit insane and the masses sane. If you call what the masses are

doing sane, I prefer to be labeled insane. You will only label me insane because you have not

experienced the truth. Your sanity comes from a system designed to entrap you in your five

senses. If this is where you choose to live that is your choice, I will not allow a system to dictate

my life, thoughts or actions. The system has been corrupted by the few leading the blind. The

blind, have, allowed the few to take responsibility of their lives because this is easier than taking

responsibility for yourself. You have now given away your power to those who wish to control

you not set you free. Freedom does not give away control, freedom takes control! Freedom does

not control others as love does not hate anyone. Freedom in its purest form is love. Stop trying to

control love, you are trying to control something for which you know nothing about.

If this world was full of people who were free, we would not be in the situation that we

are in. The situation that we are in is not freedom, we have created a world of rules and

regulations because we cannot conceive how it is possible to live properly. When you are

awakened the idea of rules do not exist, this is not to say that we need to become lawless.

Societies have not been built on freedom societies have been built on control. The sense of

oneness has completely disappeared. These days everyone is a label. At the rate we are going we

will have to add more letters to the alphabet because everyone now needs a label to identify with

who they are. If you need a label to identify who you are you have now just diminished all that

you are capable of. Do you think the infinite needs a label, apparently it does because we

continue to put a label on everything! The moment you put a label on yourself you are

identifying with that label. You do not need to put a label on yourself, you are infinite beings

what is there to label. I do not care what anyone identifies themselves as, what I am saying is by

identifying yourself with a label you are diminishing the very aspect of what you are. You are

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part of the infinite consciousness of creation, and the infinite does not need to be labeled. History

has tried to label the infinite and by labeling the infinite one has diminished the ability for what

the infinite is. The infinite cannot be labeled because it continues to grow, and that which

continues to grow cannot be labeled. The infinite has no boundaries or walls, so stop putting

boundaries and walls around yourself. Free yourself from this convoluted way of thinking, it is

causing you to become smaller than what you are. What you are is infinite awareness, infinite

consciousness, infinite knowing and infinite love.

Why are you accepting a false truth, the foundation of life has been distorted by a lie

which has been created so you live a lie instead of living a truth. Everyone talks about the truth

not even aware that what they believe is a lie. Hard to understand a truth that is built on a lie. So

many lies have been told and they have infiltrated every aspect of society. They have created this

system, so it works for the few not the many. Every four years in this country they have an

election on who will be the so-called President of the United States. You have been conned to

believe that either side of the political parties have your best interest at heart. Each side talks

about change and yet nothing changes. I have seen how this system works, and I promise you

nothing has changed. In the last year I have had a front row seat at just how far things have not

changed. Change only comes from a change of consciousness. The consciousness that is

dictating to the many is not the consciousness that I am talking about. There consciousness

comes from fear, their consciousness is nothing compared to the infinite source of love. The

infinite source of love is beyond the prison of the mind. The infinite source comes from spiritual

heart. The spiritual heart comes from the flowering from within, this can only be tapped into

with selfless love that is willing to be given freely. I am not talking about mind love, which is

just a chemical reaction, which is only a form of the love that I am describing. Mind love is what

cxiv
has been passed around society, which is why society is in the state that it is in. Mind love is not

love, because the mind is always trying to control everything, even love. Mind love has no

concept of infinite love that is why mind love is always received the wrong way. Those who

receive mind love know that it is not genuine and now something as beautiful as love has been

distorted and discarded as a notion that does not even exist.

Imagine a world that sees everyone as an equal, where there are no differences or

barriers. A world that does not judge a person by the color of their skin, or what is in their bank

account. Money has become the currency of respect because we care more about what is in

someone’s bank account than what is in someone’s heart. Just take a moment to think about this

for a minute, this is what humanity has become. Humanity has become infected with greed and

could care less what it does to one another for money. Money has become the bedrock of

existence. I promise you this, money does not make you happy. Money may make your life

easier, but it cannot buy you happiness. I have met plenty of wealthy people trust me they are not

happy. They are infected with the sickness of materialism and continue to surround themselves

with things that do not make them happy. If materialism, was the key to happiness, then this

world would not be so miserable. The world is miserable because humanity has forgotten the

fundamental truths of that which makes them happy. We have become so used to living in a state

of unhappiness that whenever you see somebody genuinely happy you cannot relate to what they

are happy about. Sadness, misery, and suffering are emotions that have been created by

accepting a wrong kind of ideology. You have been cheated by your priests and you have been

cheated by your politicians. You have been exploited by all the vested interests for the simple

reason that they want miserable people. The miserable person is easily enslaved; the cheerful

person, the blissful person, cannot be enslaved.

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 I know exactly what it feels like to live in a state misery, misery becomes quantified by

the emotional and mental trauma that has compounded our lives. Our lives our being defined by

the experiences of our past. Unfortunately, we are not learning from the past, instead we are

repeating ourselves over and over. Never actually growing from the experience. We have turned

these experiences into a form of pity, instead of a situation that we can learn from. The purpose

of life is to continuously grow not to relive experiences from the past. We are to use these

experiences regardless of how traumatic they are as stepping-stones on the stairway of

consciousness. Consciousness infused by love is the key to ultimate growth. Growth then

becomes and endless journey of experiences that will shape the very foundation of your life.

Your life is not a curse so stop speaking it into existence. We must be mindful of our words, for

our thoughts and actions have the ability, to have quite the ripple effect. Just because you cannot

see the ripple of the wave being created does not mean that it does not exist. They say actions

speak louder than words, but do not be so naïve to the think that your words cannot have an

effect. Words have a tremendous effect, and they have the ability, to distort everything. In-fact

since words are used to describe someone’s actions, would it be fair to say that words can be

spread easier than actions. Words have been used to distort the truth and the truth is being

distorted everywhere you look. Look at how the media uses words to distort the truth which

causes a tremendous ripple effect with anyone who is watching. Why do you think the media is

used to promote fear because they know how it easy it is to distort someone’s thoughts with the

use of words!

cxvi
 “The vibration of your thoughts at this very moment is having a certain effect on the

world. If you understand this, then you can also understand that you already hold in your hands

all the keys you need to change your life. Hado is the subtle energy that exists in all things. All

that exists in the universe vibrates at a unique frequency. So, if you emit a hado of happiness,

then you can be sure that the universe will respond with happiness.”

Masaru Emoto

Hado is defined as the intrinsic vibrational pattern at the atomic level in all matter.

Masaru Emoto was a brilliant man who was able to capture the power of words in the form of

water that he would freeze to show the impact that words have on crystals. The results of his

work are fascinating. When water was exposed to certain expressions such as “You’re cute,”

“You’re beautiful,” “Love and gratitude” beautiful crystals would form as a result when frozen.

What does this really mean for us? “The thoughts in our hearts have an impact on all life and in

the creation of our world tomorrow. A wondrous power exists within the human soul. We hear

all the time that our actions are a result of our thoughts, and this principle is truly proven in how

water forms crystals according to what influences it has been exposed to. But the power to affect

action with thought is a double-edged sword. If people desire to see the destruction of the world,

then that is what will result.” When words such as you fool, I hate you, death, destruction and

chaos were used the crystals would come out all distorted showing no resemblance of the

crystals where words of compassion were used. Now if this can be done with frozen water and

the human body is made up of 70 percent water can you now imagine the effect that it is having

on the human body and how words and thoughts can be used to cause so much dis-ease

cxvii
throughout our body. Since 70 percent of the human body is made up of water would it also

make sense that we should flow with the water that is within us, so that we can create a free-

flowing movement in our life. Instead, we are creating walls within ourselves, that block the

flow and movement in every aspect of life.

“What is truth? Truth is the purest world in which love reveals itself. Truth is the purest

image of love. What is love? Love is the bearer of eternal life. Through truth the greatest

freedom is achieved. Through love the greatest light achieved. If you seek warmth and heat, go

to righteousness. When righteousness comes to earth, it will heat up all living creatures. When

love reveals its greatest heat, it turns into righteousness. By itself, love is the essence of life.

When love reveals itself in life, you know that there is nothing greater than life. Therefore, love,

wisdom, truth, righteousness and virtue are spheres, high worlds, through which life reveals

itself.”

Beinsa Duono

This is an absolute truth, there is not much in life that is absolute or certain because life is

always changing. The absolute truth of who and what we are is explained perfectly in the

statement above. The problem is this is not the truth that we are living, we are living a false truth

perpetuated by lies to entrap us. Without the foundation of truth how will you know what is life?

Your life will not be your life, it will be a life that you believe that you are supposed to live by

the lie that has been told. The truth must come out for humanity to be able to live the way it was

originally intended. That which is built on a lie can never withstand the test of time. We have

allowed ourselves to be manipulated to a point where we have become a slave to the system that

we call life. This is not a system built on right ideologies this is a system built on wrong beliefs.

cxviii
Created to keep us distracted of who we are. The system is designed for control plain and simple.

This is an alarming truth and only those who have awakened can see the truth. Everything has

become robotic and mechanical, to the point where we do not even think for ourselves. We have

replaced our own thinking with the thinking of others for the simple fact that life is easier if all

the answers to the questions are given to you. The search for the meaning of life has seized to

exist because of the constant bombardment and flow of information that is designed to distract us

from searching.

If we cannot awaken to why we are here in the first place, how will we come to know the

meaning of life. Life is not supposed to be filled with suffering and despair. We are creating the

suffering with our thoughts. When Masaru Emoto was able to give a visualization to the power

of words and thought, he was able to shed light on this very subject. Masaru was able to explain

the concept of life in a simplistic form with visualization which is what was needed. Being able

to see the ramifications of your words and thoughts is a perfect way of explaining how we can

heal this world. He was able to show through the element of water the extent and ramifications a

single thought or word can have on your life and the life of others. Think of the world that we

could live in if everyone understood the ramifications of this. Unfortunately, this is not the world

we live in, not even close, in-fact we live in a world that believes in suffering, misery and

despair and for what because those who have manipulated things understand what this world is

and have entrapped you in a certain way of thinking.

I know all about this way of thinking and living. I lived like this for a long time. I have

always been aware of the strength of my words and how I spoke to people and the effect it would

have on them. At that time, I did not care about the ramifications or the ripple effect that I was

cxix
having with everyone that I met. I have the ability, to bring people together or rip them apart.

Growing up I have never liked the way people treated one another and after the way I grew up I

began to harden my own heart. I became tired of being taken advantage of and spoken to in

certain ways and after a while I developed a defense mechanism of not allowing anyone to get to

close. Anyone who tried to get to close I would push away because I could not express myself in

the right way. Instead, I would not allow myself to be hurt anymore, anyone who really knows

me knows that I have carried a lot of pain within me for a long time. By carrying this pain, I

harbored so much anger and disgust which always seem to come out at inopportune times. The

experiences throughout my life have taught me a lot but I was still holding on to my past and not

growing from the experiences in the right way. So-called history continues to repeat itself

because humanity has not learned from the past. Especially in this country which has been built

on nothing but lies. This country was built on hatred and racism that has been perpetuated

generation after generation. The problem with hate is that we become what we hate. Hate is a

virus that infects the very spirit of our being and distorts anything and everything that we touch.

The virus of this country has distorted the truth for far too long and this lie is even being taught

in the schools. I find it amazing that they still perpetuate a lie that the very foundations of this

country were founded on. This country is not a democracy if you believe it is then you are living

a lie. Anyone who has wanted to create change has been persecuted or killed. The time has come

for everyone to get off their knees and stand for what is right. It is not enough for one person or a

small group of people to stand up to the fascism of this world. Everyone needs to come together

and unite for the greater good. The power is in the masses not with the few and we must want

change for the future of all children. Our children do not need to live our mistakes or perpetuate

cxx
the problem that we have created. We must stand up for what we believe is right and the only

way that will happen is by elevating our consciousness.

When our consciousness is elevated, everyone will begin to see things in a new light. We

will all realize that we are supposed to work together, not against one another. Those who are

manipulating things behind the scenes are doing everything they can to keep us divided. How

much longer are we going to tolerate this? Have we not learned anything from the so-called past?

Our we really that selfish that we do not even want to create a better world for our children. A

place where they can grow up anywhere and not have to live in fear. We have created the chaos

by giving away our power to those who are using it for their own benefit. This must stop so we

can create a better world. We do not have to live this way! You are only being told this is the

only way to live by those who do not want change. Why are you believing somebody else’s truth

instead of your own? Why do you want to live in the darkness and shadows of others? Everyone

has the ability, to dispel the darkness from within and by doing this we can create, more, light

than you can possibly imagine. Peace, balance and harmony will no longer be words they will

become a way of life. If you show anger, anger is all you will receive. If you show sadness,

sadness is all you will receive. Why create and live in these low vibrational frequencies when we

can live on higher vibrational frequencies which will end the dis-ease from within that you are

creating. If you can understand that we are waveforms of energy, then you should know that you

are creating an entanglement with that which you are feeling. By knowing this will you really

want to add and perpetuate to the problem or will you make a conscious effort and choice to live

a different way.

cxxi
 When Wisdom rules, order does not get broke. When truth beams, fruits blossom.

Wisdom is a way through which light and reason come. Truth is a way through which freedom is

acquired. When man does not accept love, he loses his life. When man denies reason, he loses

his light and falls into darkness and into a no-way-out situation. When he abandons truth, he

loses his freedom. Then slavery comes. The one who gives always gains more than the one who

takes. The world will improve when you improve yourself. It is when we see the love in

ourselves and in others that we learn what love really is. Love must be reciprocated equally

otherwise it will not be received properly. Love is the most powerful force in the world, without

question. I have heard people say that love is a fairytale, which is the saddest thing in the world

to me. These last two years of my life I have lived in a way that I never had before because I

became love. I call it my awakening moment where I was able to let go of all the pain and

suffering that I have harbored so others would not see how unhappy I was. How could I possibly

love anyone properly if I did not have love in my life. My entire life I have been searching for

the meaning of life and now I have found it. Some say you must die to be reborn again, that is

where I was at in my life two years ago. For, the amount of mental and physical pain that I had

was unbearable. I have lived a tumultuous life and since I was born on this planet, I have known

much suffering.

I was not born with a loving mother or father in fact I was born into sorrow and pain in

San Jose, Costa Rica. Witnessing and being part of a very abusive household. My parents were

alcoholics and drug attics, and literally sold their souls chasing that high. At the age of four I was

adopted by mother, Elizabeth Hamlin who came all the way to Costa Rica to adopt a son. I can

still remember sitting on her lap and listening to her ask me if I would like to come home with

cxxii
her. I told her I would not go anywhere without my sister Grace. Even at such an early age I had

a concept of love, for at that time my sister was everything to me. She protected me from the

wrath of my parents and took on the responsibility at an early age to take care of me. I call my

sister my saving Grace for if it were not for her in Costa Rica, I do not believe that I would have

made it. I have no happy memories of the time I spent in Costa Rica. What a horrible feeling it is

for your first memory on this earth to be sad. No child should ever have to go through what my

sister and I went through. Unfortunately, we live in a world of needless suffering.

“Nothing so easily becomes unholy than suffering”

Thomas Merton

In my early childhood I was saved by the care of my sister, and for that I am eternally

grateful. Pain and suffering can crush the strongest of men. My strength was all on the outside,

and I portrayed this hard shell so no one could see how weak I was on the inside. I was so

prideful, I believed if you had not walked in my shoes or experienced what I had gone through I

wanted nothing to do with you. In fact, I would mock people and tell them how weak they were.

What a disgusting way to live and since I had hardened my heart, there was no room on the

inside for me to grow because I filled it with resentment, anger, hatred, and disgust. Dying

slowly every day, for my heart was not pure and when you let impure thoughts into your heart

you have initiated death to come to your door. I look back at the way I used to live my life and I

am appalled. In fact, I thrived off my hate and anger, it fueled me in all my endeavors. I would

unleash my wrath on anyone who got to close, for I knew they would see right through me if I let

them get any closer. How pathetic that is, that I believed in the power of suffering “to believe in

the power of suffering is an illusion”. I can still remember the day that I experienced physical

cxxiii
pain in a way that would change my life forever. I honestly thought I knew what pain was, I had

no clue. I was about to get a crash course in pain that would test my will. Will is defined, as the

thing that one desire’s or ordains. My strength and will was crushed into a million pieces after

my surgery, and I knew at that moment that my life would forever be changed. I can still

remember the expression on the face of my daughter Jazmin when she came into the recovery

room. Jazmin for the first time in her life felt despair, agony, heartache, sadness and fear. That

look on her face left such an imprint in my mind that I decided at once that I was going to do

everything in my power to make sure that I never see that look on my daughters face again. The

pain was so severe that if I moved an inch my body would seize and I would have a back spasm

for hours, holding onto the bedrails shaking I was afraid for the first time in my life.

When you experience a traumatic event like this, you realize how precious your health

and life is. My son Triston was born only three months prior to my surgery so he is too young to

remember what happened. As I laid in bed, I began to fall into a state of misery and despair. I felt

lost and hopeless. These emotions are all low vibrational frequencies which caused me to start

going within myself for strength. I was not able to receive the support of family members or

friends during this time. I realized after this surgery how much people run from pain and

suffering. They run away from it so much, they will not even come around someone who is

going through a traumatic experience. This is not speculation this is a fact. I have experienced

both physical pain and mental suffering on levels that are hard describe in words. The physical

pain that I was in on a scale of one to ten I would have to say was a good eight most of the time.

The mental toll was causing me to suffer and because I was not aware of how powerful your

brain is I was not aware of my thoughts and the impact that it was having on my body. Causing

more dis-ease than needed to be caused. The dis-ease is caused by the improper balance and flow

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of low vibrational emotions. These emotions are detrimental to how we function. Without the

proper flow of emotions our bodies become distorted, and we begin to create dis-ease throughout

the body. After my first surgery my body was in a state of dis-ease and to say that I was in a

good place would be a lie. Not only was my body physically hurting but the mental suffering that

I had created from harboring every experience was distorting every aspect of my body. My

mental suffering was adding to my physical pain and causing me to live in a state of despair.

This, despair and misery, was impacting my life in a way where everything in my life was

becoming distorted. I had created an illusion within myself that was causing me to live a way

that was detrimental to my-self. I had not awakened to the reality of life, and I was creating a

world of chaos within myself instead of understanding the purpose of my suffering. I can look

back now and understand why I went through what I did. I do not wish suffering on anyone, but I

completely understand the reasoning behind my suffering. I had not accepted my past

experiences and learned from them. I was still harboring all the pain that I had endured in my life

and had not released myself from these memories that were only holding me back. We must

learn from our experiences, not allow them to dictate our life in a negative way or we will

continue to repeat ourselves in a vicious cycle. Life can be chaotic if we continue to manifest

within ourselves unnecessary emotions which can distort our reality into a state of madness. I

know all about this madness for I lived in this state for four years. This is a dangerous state to

live in, I tried to display to everyone that I was doing fine. This was the farthest from the truth

and my emotional distress was seeping out of my pores onto everyone and everything.

My pride, and ego was crushing me from within and wreaking havoc on every aspect of

my life. I do not blame anyone except myself, for the amount, of pride that I had. My ego was

humongous and anyone who knows me knows the truth of this comment. I did not look at others

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as if they were equal in-fact when it came to men in general, I saw them as incredibly weak

always complaining about the insignificant things and never really understanding who I was or

anything that I had gone through. I am not proud of the way that I behaved or lived my life, but

as I have said before everyone will have to search within themselves about what is truth and

what is false. My ego allowed me to go into myself because I began searching for the answers,

The answers have always been within, but the world that we live in does not talk about this.

There is a reason for this, they do not want the masses to wake up to the truth. When the masses

wake up to the truth, the illusory form of control pedaled by the few will seize to exist.

“To believe in suffering is pride: but to suffer, believing in God, (love) is humility. For

pride may tell us that we are strong enough to suffer, that suffering is good for us because we

are good. Humility tells us that suffering is an evil which we must always expect to find in our

lives because of the evil that is in ourselves. But faith also knows that the mercy of God (love) is

given to those who seek him (love) in suffering, and that by his (loves) grace we can overcome

evil with good. Suffering then, becomes good by accident, by the good that it enables us to

receive more abundantly from the mercy of God (love). It does not make us good by itself, but it

enables us to make ourselves better than we are. Thus, what we consecrate to God (love) in

suffering is not our suffering but our-selves”

Thomas Merton

I put in parenthesis the word love because I do not like to call what I call the infinite

source God. The word God has been used as a form of control over humanity. Religions have

been created to divide us. Religions are a form of control to entrap you in a state of belief that

tells you that you are separate from the infinite. This lie has created more chaos and destruction

than anything else because of the notion that every religion is saying that there so called God is

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the only God. What a bunch of nonsense they use the guilt and fear to control the masses that

God is some sort of being that will punish you for the mistakes that we make. Life is a school of

learning and as your consciousness starts to rise you will begin to understand that you are not

just a droplet in the ocean, you will realize that you are the ocean. Religions have taught that we

are separate from the ocean. This has been done to control the masses because when fear is

perpetuated as a form of control then the masses will live in a state of fear. Fear has infected

every aspect of our life and though you may tell yourself that you do not live in a state of fear,

you have no idea what it means to be free, I you believe that the United States is a country built

on freedom you are perpetuating the lie that has created this false sense of freedom. Only if you

work within the system will you believe that you are free, but if you question the system that has

been created believe me you will find out just how much the word freedom does not exist within

this system they have created.

I know from experience how much they do not want people to come together. Politicians

and the media talk about freedom of speech and yet they are terrified of anyone who is willing to

speak the truth. They will target you in ways that you cannot even imagine. You will be labeled

dangerous and mad because they must discredit you. This has been done to everyone who speaks

the truth, fortunately the truth will figure out a way to be heard. Only the truth, has the ability, to

dispel a lie and the time for truth is NOW! I will not live in a state of fear afraid to speak the

truth. Love can overcome any, and all things. Love is what has brought me to this point in my

life where fear no longer exists. When fear of the unknown no longer exists you then live in a

state of fearlessness. Fearlessness is the state of being where love reigns supreme. Those who

live in a state of fearlessness do not allow anyone or anything to dictate their lives. When you

allow fear to dictate your life you no longer have control of your life. The control that the few

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seek to impose cannot live on a high vibrational state, which is why the time has come for the

many to become ONE! The power of the many can create a world where everyone is equal,

where everyone lives for one another and not for themselves. Living for yourself brings no one

together it only divides us and creates all the separation that has no bearing in this world. Hate

cannot exist in a state of love for love knows that all you are hating is yourself. The idea that

racism still exists in this world is nonsense. Racism is taught, no child is born racist. Those who

are promoting racism are infected with the disease of hate that can be dispelled if you would only

open your heart. The spirit that lives within does not see color for it knows that color only exists

in the limited spectrum of light that we see. We must stop teaching hate to our children, all that

you hate is within yourself and the notion that you may hate someone for the color of their skin

is only ignorance. This ignorance has corrupted humanity for far too long. The so-called

democracy of the United States has been built on a foundation of lies that continues to be taught

in our schools and institutions of higher learning.

“Our whole culture is of the head, so the head becomes too heavy, and the heart goes on

shrinking. It should not be so. This is the greatest calamity that has happened to humanity in the

whole history of the mind, of consciousness. We are too much in the head, there is too much

investment in the head; heart is left far behind. In fact, we have bypassed it, we have not even

gone through it. We don’t allow feelings. A man of feeling seems to be weak the man of no-

feeling seems to be very strong. We teach people not to be emotional. We teach people not to cry,

not to laugh too loudly. We teach people to remain always in control; and if YOU are in control,

then love is not going to happen to you – because love happens only when you are in a state of

un-control. Love is something bigger than you; you cannot control it. If you want to control, you

can remain in hate. Hate can be controlled; hate is smaller than you. Love cannot be controlled;

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love is bigger than you. If you try to control love you will miss all possibilities. You will become

a love-less being – and that’s what a dead person is: a loveless being who exists in the head and

who has forgotten his own heart.”

The Mystic Osho

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 CHAPTER VII

THE SIGNIFICANCE OF VIBRATIONS:

Life in its manifestation is vibration.

Edgar Cayce

Everything is vibration and motion. Regardless of how the physical world may appear to

the masses, science has proven that all of materiality consists of atoms and therefore protons,

neutrons, and electrons are in motion. Most of us can probably understand how vibrations might

be compared to the ripples that occur when a stone is dropped in a pool of water. The truth,

however, is that vibrations are so much more. Light is a form of vibration, and the human eye is

nothing more than a mechanical device that transforms light waves into electrical impulses

which travel to the brain. The brain then transforms these electrical impulses into the perception

of sight. Similarly, sound is a vibration. The ear, too, is a mechanical device that transforms the

vibration of sound into electrical impulses. These impulses further travel through the nerves

into the brain. The senses of taste and smell entail extracting vibrations and ultimately

transform those vibrations into impulses that are deciphered by the brain. Information from the

senses is relayed or transported as energy from one point to another in the form of waves.

Twentieth-century experiments in physics gave rise to the wave-particle duality, which is

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simply that light waves of energy in some experiments behave like particles, and particles of

matter in some experiments behave like waves of energy. Therefore, quantum theory contends

that all matter is in motion because particles of matter fundamentally behave as a wave, and

waves are essentially vibrations that repeat continuously. Everything is vibration.

It was the Greeks who first theorized the concept of atoms as the building blocks of all

matter, believing that different forms of matter were made up of different types and shapes of

atoms. The word atom comes from the Greek word atomos which means “indivisible.” The

Greek philosopher Democritus (fifth century BC) contended that if any form of matter were

repeatedly subdivided, eventually a point would be reached whereby matter could no longer be

divided–that point would be an atom. His theory of atomism hypothesized that nothing existed

but these different kinds, shapes, and sizes of atoms and the void in which they moved. These

atoms moved because of their vibrations and velocities, impacting with other atoms and

creating and destroying various forms of matter in the process. Later, the Greek philosopher

Plato (427-347 BC) theorized that humanity’s perception of the world was essentially a shadow

of true reality. In Book VII of The Republic, Plato describes a world in which men are

imprisoned by chains attached to their legs and necks unable to move or see anything, but the

movement of shadows cast on the wall of the cave before their eyes. In this world of chains, the

prisoners only see the reflections cast by the shadows of reality behind them. This concept of

only being able to see a shadow of true reality is relevant to the topic of vibrations in that our

senses provide us with a perception of the material world that is essentially a shadow of the

truth. We think we perceive reality, when in fact, we perceive the effects of the vibrations we

encounter rather than being able to perceive those vibrations directly. Despite our inability to

perceive vibrations firsthand, the concept of vibrations has nonetheless become a part of

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mainstream culture. For example, the 1960s pop song “Good Vibrations” by Brian Wilson of

the Beach Boys describes how people put off vibrations through their emotions. That concept

has further expanded so that today the idea that certain people possess “good vibes” while

others put off “bad vibes” has become a part of everyday language.

This is what I mean of being mindful of your words, thoughts and actions you are not

realizing the impact you are having on yourself and others. The ripple effect you are creating

could be massive depending on the amount of influence you have with your words. Even your

thoughts create a waveform of energy which acts like an electromagnetic field and where this

form of energy ends is limitless. This will distort everyone and everything that you come

across. We must understand that we are receivers and transmitters, and we have the capability

of becoming powerful sources of energy. I am not speaking of anything new, topics such as

these have been talked about for a while now. The only difference is that this is not transmitted

everywhere for the public to hear about. Major media organizations do not speak about

vibrations or energy in-fact all that they talk about is how chaos is happening in the world

because they know the subliminal effects that there words are having on the masses. The fear

that is being created by media platforms and large corporations that literally own these news

outlets are massive. Stop feeding into the system that is designed to keep you on a low

vibrational level. Those who are dictating the actions of the few understand everything that I am

speaking on and because they know how easily the human mind can be distorted and

manipulated, they are bombarding you with information to distort your vibrational fields which

emit a large amount of low vibrational energy. This allows the few to stay in a position of

power being generated and created by US. If you can understand that everything is vibration

and movement then why are we still waiting for something to happen instead of controlling the

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outcome. We the people, have the ability, to create a world of peace and harmony and yet we

refuse to come together and instead create a world of destruction and chaos. The truth has been

distorted for far too long and the time has come for everyone to come together to bring balance

back into this world. The longer we continue to divide and separate ourselves the more distorted

vibrational energy will continue to control our lives. Have we not become tired of living this

way? Why are so many believing that there is nothing that we can do about it? Stop thinking the

way they want you to think, take back control of your life and stop giving away your power to

the people who could care less about you. If we want change then we must create the change

from within so we can emit the higher vibrational frequencies out into the world. We are

creators and yet nobody wants to create. We would rather destroy and perpetuate the problem

instead of coming together and fixing the problem. Seems to me like everyone is waiting for a

savior, please stop that nonsense that is a fairytale that has been created to limit you in a way

where you do not reach for the stars because you believe that everything is separate.

Everything, and everyone is connected on every level. When the many become ONE the impact

that we can create on this world will be incredible. We must no longer live, in fear of one

another, this is exactly how the few want us to behave. The few have designed a system of

separation and that system must be replaced with a new level of consciousness that benefits

everyone and not the few.

The Superstring theory essentially describes how the primary forces of nature are all just

different manifestations of the same one force. Scholar and researcher David McMillin points

out that the “superstring theory is based on the premise of extremely small vibrating strings that

are the basis for all manifestations of energy and matter. Theoretically, the frequency and

resonance at which the strings vibrate result in all the variations of matter that range from

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apples and oranges to vast swirling galaxies. It’s all the same stuff vibrating at different rates–a

virtual music of the spheres. That is exactly the way Edgar Cayce described the nature of

physical reality. At a practical level, Cayce explained health and illness within the human body

as a matter of vibratory rates. Each organ of the body vibrates at its own specific frequency.

Too much or too little energy can result in vibratory imbalances. Various vibrational energy

medicine therapies prescribed in his readings are intended to work with the vibratory energies

of the body. String theory provides a conceptual model for understanding how vibration is the

basis for understanding how the human body and the universe in its totality are created and

kept. It is easy to see why enthusiasts for this approach call it a “theory of everything.”

Science is only now starting to catch up to consciousness and it certainly has a long way

to go before it reaches the same point of individuals who can see and understand past their five

senses. Unfortunately, information like this is not shared with the public on a large scale

because when everyone starts realizing what they are capable of they will no longer give away

their power to those who are trying to dictate their every thought and action. If the thoughts and

actions of the few were helping humanity this world would be a completely different place,

hence the reason we are in the current situation that we are in. Certain organizations are

suppressing the knowledge so the masses stay dumbed down to the fact of who and what they

are. I am not looking to start a revolution, what I want is for everyone to search within

themselves for that is where the truth lies. If anything, the only revolution that will be created is

the revolution within yourself that will transform the reality that we live in. The reality that we

live in has been built on lies I am about truth and the truth is what is needed now. We have

lived in the shadows of others for far to long, the time has come to step out of the shadows and

take back our lives. Everyone can raise their consciousness one only has to make the choice that

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they are no longer going to be a part of a system designed to lower their consciousness. The

vibrational level of humanity must rise otherwise we will continue down the same destructive

path that we are in. Knowing that vibrations are everything and that everything and everyone

vibrates, would it not make sense to raise your vibrational level. There are so many dis-eases

that can be cured by raising your vibrations this is not a myth this is a fact. Ask any doctor who

is not a part of the mainstream if living in a more peaceful and harmonic state can help most

ailments that we experience.

I know from experience that it is possible to heal yourself by raising your vibrational

level. I have personally done it. In the last six years I have had two spinal cord surgeries and a

stroke, and I take no medication for any of it. The medication that providers give out are

designed to distort your vibrational level. I am not saying that all medication is wrong, what I

am saying is most providers are only treating symptoms and not understanding the root of the

problem. Since most doctors believe that they know everything because they have been taught

what to believe by a system that teaches them, what they want them to know. There have been

so many stories of doctors who have gone against the mainstream way of thinking and have lost

their jobs because they did not conform to the ways of everyone else. There is a reason this

happens they do not want educated people to think outside the box because this causes the

system to acknowledge that they might not know all there is to know when it come to the

human body. I remember after I had my spinal fusion in March of 2019, I woke up after my

surgery and was able to do things that defied logic by most doctors. They could not understand

how I was able to start moving the way I did. They could not acknowledge that there may be

something more to this world than what current medicine knows. I knew after my surgery that

everything was different on top of not having much physical pain my mental suffering had been

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taken away. As if something just came into my mind and wiped out all those harbored emotions

that I had held onto for so long. Even for a while I was wondering what was going on. I became

a more loving and empathic individual and I was able to see things in a unique way. I no longer

looked at my life the way I used too, and a transformation began to happen. I had become a

different person. This may be hard to believe but this is the truth. I only speak about

experiences that I have gone thru. For the next ten days after my surgery, I recovered extremely

fast and was able to even walk in a way that I had not been able to do for a long time. Now it is

not to say that the spinal fusion did not help, I am sure it did but there was something else going

on. My vibrational level was beginning to rise because my heart began to open. I was beginning

to find peace within my-self, and this was an experience that I have always wanted.

I was able to fly back home after my surgery in ten days, which filled me with a sense

of joy and happiness because I could not wait to see my family. They knew that I was doing

well for we had been talking everyday since the surgery and they were excited to see me in a

better place because of all the pain they had seen their father endure for the last four years. Now

it is not to say that I had no pain in-fact the plane ride was not comfortable at all, and I had to

endure some serious pain why flying back home. This was not going to get in my way from

flying back to see my family. The doctor prescribed the lowest amount of pain killers because I

am extremely allergic to pain killers. I never took them because I have had horrific side effects

due to them. I took some while on the plane and they were able to help me deal with the pain

that I was feeling. When I arrived at the airport, I was certainly not feeling a 100 percent but the

excitement I had of being back overcame any physical stress that I was feeling at the time. I

remember one of the passengers I flew with carried my bags for me so I would not have to

carry them, I was eternally grateful for his kind gesture. When I saw my two children Jazmin

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and Triston, they both ran to me and literally tackled me. They were so excited and filled with

joy because they knew that their father had come home and was able to walk again. I can still

see the look on my daughters face and it was filled with tears of happiness and Jazmin said I

knew you would come back Daddy, you always come back. I told her there is nothing on this

planet that would have stopped me from coming back to you. My son Triston looked at me and

said, “I told you Daddy, everything would fine because we all believed that you would be

okay.” This was such a profound statement and at the time it did not even register with me. I

look back at what he said, for a four-year old child to say something like that I know now why

he was saying it. My son Triston has always been aware of things, and he has abilities that he is

not even aware that he has yet. When I look back at all my experiences in my life this one

stands out because at this moment, I was genuinely happy.

The happiness I felt came from within and to be honest I do not remember the last time I

was happy and filled with so much love. I wanted this moment to last forever, unfortunately I

was about to go through an experience that would change my life forever. I can look back now

and understand why I went thru that experience but at the time I did not understand why this

happened. I will explain my experience because I need everyone to know what happens when

you awaken. Everything will change and when this happens even your so-called loved ones and

friends will ridicule and condemn you. I was not aware of what was going to happen, but the

dream that I would have the first night I was back would change everything. I am going to

explain the dream that I had, those who are awakened will understand completely what I am

going to say, those who have closed their hearts and their minds will think that what I am

saying is nonsense. To be honest I do not care what anyone thinks, I do not live my life worried

about what others think. Anyone who lives like this in constant worry of what others may think

cxxxvii
are not even living their life your life is being lived through the eyes of others because it is

easier to live like everyone else. There is no worry of being condemned or ridiculed. That is the

beauty of living free, true freedom can only be experienced and then lived. This is no fairytale

and what I am going to tell you is truth and an experience that has forever changed me. I have

had other experiences since this dream which I will get to later, on in this book, so everyone is

aware of the extent of what happens when you awaken from the coma, we call life. My

experiences are not the same as everyone, there is a reason for this while yes, we are all

connected, we are still unique in our own right so everyone will have their own experience.

When I arrived home after my flight I was in state of peace and harmony. I could finally

see the light and the end of the tunnel. All of which I had endured was bringing me to this point

in my life. While I was still not aware of everything that was going to happen, I knew that for

some reason everything was going to work out. I had reached my breaking point before my

surgery I was tired both physically and mentally and I had come to a point in my life where I

did not care if I lived or died. I was not living the life that I wanted, and I knew that all, of my

pain and suffering was seeping onto my children who had endured so much already. I would

love to say that I had received all the support I needed from my family but that would be a lie.

The only place I felt love was from my children. My children are what gave me the strength to

never give up. The love from my children was pure a love that only grew the more they showed

it. I was not willing to give up on my-self or them and when I say it was the love of my children

that saved me, there is no doubt that if it were not for my children I would not be here. The

power of love is infinite and when it is given freely as my children gave to me it was received

perfectly. Their love fueled the fire within me to know that there was nothing that was going to

keep me from being in their lives. My children and I have an inseparable bond, one that cannot

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be broken by anything. I have come to appreciate what my children have done for me even

more, I will be eternally grateful for them, for they have given me my life back and without

them I would not be here. I remembered how tired I was after my flight, I needed to lay down

and rest my body. That night I had a dream. The dream that I had would change my life forever.

As I laid down to go to sleep, I said to myself how thankful I was to be home with my family. I

remembered how before I had my surgery that I had truly prayed for the first time. The power

of prayer cannot be underestimated, what I had prayed for was not for my-self but for my

family. I never worried about my-self, but I always worried for my children, they had been

through so much already and I could not bare to see them suffer with me anymore. I knew that

something had changed from within, a new form of energy was being created an energy built on

love. I am not talking about human love I am talking about a universal love that is beyond the

limits of what we are capable of understanding for universal love has no walls, borders or

limitations. The love that I speak of is infinite and I was about to get a crash course on what

infinite love really was.

As I fell asleep, I know now that I was astral traveling in my sleep. For those who do

not know what astral travel is, it is when a part of your soul leaves the body to travel through

the astral plane. The astral plane is made up of a series of electromagnetic ley lines that

interconnect throughout the universe to create a magnetic field of travel. Because our bodies

use electricity to run the body, it is easy for our souls to use these electromagnetic ley lines to

travel on. This may sound far-fetched, but this is absolutely, true most of you have felt this

experience before you were just never aware of what was going on. Only those with a closed

mind will not accept this, anyone who is awakened will know exactly what I am talking about.

During this dream I remember flying, the question was where exactly was I? I remember seeing

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what looked like angels beneath me and there were three of them guiding me towards

something. We could call it a light, but this was more than just light, something that is hard to

describe in words. What I was seeing was far more than light and it seemed to be shining

brighter than the sun. It encompassed all things as if it was everything, I remember just flying

closer and closer to this and the feeling I had while I was there was warmth, peace, happiness

and love. This was not a love that I had experienced before this was something much more.

This is what I would call infinite love, because the closer I came the more I felt. As I said

earlier this may sound unbelievable and to be honest at the time, I had no idea what was going

on. What I did know was I felt amazing as if I was in another world. Time did not exist, and

though it seemed like I was only there for a few minutes when I woke up five hours had passed

by. Where I was there, there was no time or what we would consider time here. When I woke

up, I had acquired knowledge. Everything was love and there was no more thinking about it I

just knew that we were all connected there was no separation, there was only a state oneness.

For the next week or so all I could do was talk about love, and if I was not talking about

love I was writing about love. Everything was love and for everyone who knew me they all

thought that I had gone mad, crazy, or something was wrong. I must laugh about this now

because you would think that this would not be the case, but when I say everybody thought I

had lost it, I do mean everyone, from my family members, to friends, and even my own wife. I

knew that I was not crazy and that nothing was wrong, but I still allowed everyone who was a

part of my life at the time dictate my thoughts and actions. This is exactly what I am talking

about. People talk about being spiritual or having faith, believing in God and here is a perfect

example of people thinking and not knowing. I was speaking of a sense of knowing not

thinking and yet I was being ridiculed and condemned. The nonsense of it all, I speak about

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love, and I am called a madman, I speak about unity and oneness, and everyone says I am

crazy. Now everyone was calling me bi-polar of course they had to label me as something, and

my own wife was saying I was bi-polar. I hold no ill feelings towards anyone who knew me at

the time I understand why you all thought the way you did. What would proceed was going to

change my life again and to say for the better would be a lie. I decided to go to the doctor since

everyone thought I had lost it. I explained what had happened and how I was walking all the

time, talking about love, and loving the way I was feeling. Sure, enough wouldn’t you know the

doctor said Mr. Hamlin you are bi-polar. Let me tell you those Veteran Administration doctors

they are great! What a fucking joke, I am not sure if you can even call them doctors. I will

speak on the Veterans Administration and the atrocity of the system that they have, later in this

book. I am going to pick them apart piece by piece. I will expose them for what they are, the

nonsense that I have had to deal with from them is beyond absurd.

Now that the doctor diagnosed me with being bi-polar and everyone who knew me all

agreed, they proceeded to give me medication. The first medication that they gave me was

Lithium, literally straight poison and after about three weeks taking it, they had to take me off,

of it because it was affecting my kidneys. I then began the process of moving to a different

medication which began to put me into a state of depression from the likes of which I have

never felt. During which the whole time the doctors kept telling me how I would get used to it

as did my family members and friends. After two months of that medication, they saw that I

was not getting any better, so they switched my medicine again which caused me to go into a

deeper state of depression. I had completely lost touch of reality and the mental suffering I

endured for six months is indescribable. I know now why I went through this but at the time I

would have rather died, for the simple fact that what I went through for those six months was a

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slow death. I could not speak, I could barely eat, I could not even play with my children. When

I went to sleep, I would sweat profusely because my body was not responding to the medication

well at all. I know what pain is and I know what suffering is, but what I went through for those

six months was complete torture. The mental torture that I endured was unlike anything I had

ever experienced and finally after six months I looked at my wife and said I am done! I have

made my point I am not bi-polar and the idea that you just watched me suffer for six months

should be all the proof you need. Now I am extremely allergic to pain killers, even though I

took the smallest dose of pain killers, this was the only way to prove to the doctors that could

there have possibly been a chemical reaction to the medicine that I took to make you think that I

was bi-polar. They agreed that it was possible, and I was able to stop taking the medication. For

the next three months I went through a withdraw process of the medication which was again

insane. Now I had spent the last nine months of my life going through an experience that made

me understand that there is more to the human body and this world, than what the masses

believe. After I recovered form the medication. I began to start reading and writing a lot, I

started to learn about the human body and what vibrations were. I began to consume anything

and everything I could for I needed to learn more about the experience that I had.

I told everyone who ridiculed me to never accuse me of being crazy again! Now if you

thought that was an insane experience wait until I tell you what happened in 2020. Getting back

to the significance of vibrations, when you start to understand what we are and what the human

body is and how we can heal ourselves with higher vibrations, then what I went through

happened for a reason. There are no coincidences there is only synchronicity. Synchronicity can

be defined for someone on the spiritual path as the moment in the fabric of time when we

suddenly and briefly become consciously aware that we have made a deeper connection with

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the universe or that which is greater than our individual self. This is what life is all about we are

so much more than what has been told. We are capable of so many things, the time has come to

release ourselves from the ridiculous ideologies that have been taught for so many centuries.

The vibration of love cannot be controlled so stop trying to control that which cannot be

controlled. The vibrational energy of love is what got me through my mental suffering and

nobody and nothing can stop the infinite flow of love. My vibrational level started rising again

as soon as all the medicine was out of my system and with the help of my children, I was able

to start enjoying life again. I began to start coaching my son and daughter’s soccer team which

only helped raise my vibrational level because I love to work with children. Children are so

aware of things that we do not give them credit for. Being able to coach them is an experience

that I will never forget for as much as I was able to teach them all that I knew about the

beautiful game of soccer, I learned a lot from all the children that I was able to coach. Seeing

the joy on their faces as they learned to work together as a team and grow into a group that

relied on one another instead of fighting one another began to show me what life was all about.

There was no division or separation on the team, everyone was working together and for one

another. They all worked toward a goal for the betterment of one another and not for their-

selves. This is what I am talking about, this is who we are. We are not separated we are

connected we are all ONE! We have been programmed to believe that we are separated, those

who understand energy and how to manipulate it have been using this hidden knowledge to

further the agenda of the few. We are eight billion strong why are we surrendering our abilities

to the few. If we would just come together for the greater good, we could change this world

overnight. The so-called powers that be would have to concede to the notion that they are no

longer in power. We do not need to be in fear of one another, we need to understand that we are

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one another. We are all just mirrors of each other have a unique experience in a human body.

When this concept is grasped the vibrational levels of humanity will begin to rise. The time of

selfishness has passed the time of selflessness is NOW. When we begin to live for others

instead of ourselves, the seed that flowers within us all will begin to blossom. This is what we

are here for, the vibrations that we create within ourselves can keep us imprisoned or set us

free.

As each week began to pass by, my vibrations continued to rise, and it seemed as if

those nine months of suffering happened for a reason. They did happen for a reason I was

beginning to read and write more each day. I was able to consume books at a pace that I had

never done before. My writing started to become more spiritual in every way. I was able to

explain complex issues in a more simplistic manner. I then began writing a book because I

knew that this is what I was supposed to do. The book that I started was called the Memoirs of

a Marine. One day I will finish that book, but my life was about to be sidetracked in 2020, I

was going to have another experience that would change every aspect of my life. When I first

began writing this book, I thought maybe I should not explain what happened to me in 2020,

then I realized that everything in my life led me to the experience that I was going to have.

Everyone on this planet knows that 2020 would become the year that everything would change.

Just think about everything that has already changed since. We live in a world now consumed

by fear. Everyone is now in fear of one another, wondering if someone is going to make them

sick. Those who have awakened understand what is going on, I am not here to make a

judgement on what I believe is going on with this virus. What I do know is there is more

division and separation now than has ever been before. When you have awakened to the reality

that we call life than we know that we are creating a toxic atmosphere just with our thoughts.

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The vibrational level of humanity at this point is at an all time high, for when fear dictates your

every thought and action you are a slave.

When the virus began to spread, I began to feel an unbelievable amount of fear, anxiety,

depression, misery, sadness and despair form everyone. In am extremely empathic which can

be dangerous because of the simple fact that I could feel what others felt my empathic abilities

were becoming stronger during the time between March and June of 2020. Not only could I feel

the pain of others who were close to me I was able to feel the pain of others everywhere. Being

able to feel so much pain was becoming unbearable for me. I was starting to become impacted

by all that I was feeling. When all this started happening, I began reading even more, my

writing became automatic. Automatic writing is the process, or product, of writing material that

does not come from the conscious thoughts of the writer. The writer's hand forms the message,

and the person is unaware of what will be written. This is exactly what was going on as if

something was guiding my words. I am now aware of what this is but at the time I was not

aware of what was going on. What I was aware of is the writing came out in a way that almost

felt unreal and all I was writing about was love. Universal, selfless and unconditional love. I

became focused on what I wanted to say in my writing, and even though it seemed like chaos

was everywhere I was beginning to find peace within myself. On June 28th I had a stroke. I now

know why I had a stroke but when it happened, I could not believe that I was having one. My

entire right side of my body began to go numb, and I was not able to speak very well. My

children and wife knew something was wrong, and within a few minutes they called the

ambulance. When the ambulance came, I could see all over my children’s faces the expression

of fear. The last time I saw fear on my daughter’s face was after my first surgery and I was

telling myself that I would not allow my daughter to become fearful of what was going on.

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When the ambulance came the paramedics looked me over and agreed that I was having a

stroke. I was thinking to myself what was going on? How could I be having a stroke? I am only

forty years old. I was in a state of shock not even knowing what was going on around me. I was

rushed to the hospital and when I arrived the doctors told me they had to administer medicine

right away incase I had a blood clot. I agreed to take the medication and within twelve hours I

was beginning to start feeling better. I was regaining movement on the right side of my body

again and I was even able to speak. They doctors told me that I would have to go the ICU to

make sure everything was fine. They were going to run tests and had taken an MRI of my brain

to make sure that there was no blood clot. I agreed and proceeded to go to the ICU. While in the

ICU I began to recover quickly, almost as if I had never even had a stroke. Everyone in the ICU

was amazed at how fast I was recovering, and I was thinking to myself here we go again. While

doctors and medicine certainly have their uses, they do not understand what the human body is.

I have met so many people who have been diagnosed with illnesses and dis-ease, and they were

completely misdiagnosed, that is because mainstream doctors are only taught what the system

wants them to know about the human body. Their knowledge is borrowed and passed down.

Now it is not to say that the medicine they gave me did not work, but something else was

beginning to happen. I could feel my brain functioning on a completely different level as if

something had activated other parts of my brain. I did not mention anything at the time because

I knew all the doctors would want to do is run more tests and make sure that I am not losing my

mind. I have gone down this road before and I was not about to go down it again.

The following day I was released from the hospital after passing all the tests that were

needed from me to be released. Amazingly I was not feeling bad at all. I was a little tired but

other than that I was feeling well. I recovered quickly after the next few days and soon

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afterwards I began walking. I was not only going on walks I was walking six to eight miles a

day. I had a new-found energy and the more I walked the better I felt. My walking was

becoming meditative. I was experiencing nature in a whole different way. Everything seemed

so vibrant and full of life. I would always walk to this park that was a few miles from my home.

There were ponds all around there where I could walk all around where a lot of people would

go and fish. I felt remarkably close to nature as if I was a part of it. I have always been drawn to

water. Water has such a peaceful feeling. I would walk out there for hours and on certain days I

would even run around the park. I could not remember the last time I was able to run but for

some reason running was not hurting my back. My body was feeling amazing, and I was able to

start strengthening my body again. Since 2015 I had not really been able to work out or do

much of anything that was too physical. My body was in a low vibrational state, now my

vibrations were rising and as they rose, there was no-more dis-ease anymore. I started feeling

love pour into me as if someone had turned on a faucet from within and the feeling that I had

was truly unbelievable. My intuition was being accessed and I was receiving all sorts of

information. In the beginning it was a little alarming, I was wondering what exactly was going

on. I had never felt and knew things the way I was able to now. I was able to read people

without communication, I would know what they were thinking before they even spoke. My

empathic abilities were on full display, and I could really put myself in somebody else’s shoes.

I began to start seeing myself in everyone and I was able to really listen to people when they

spoke with me. I wanted to give them my undivided attention because I knew at the time if they

were speaking to me there was something that needed to be said and I was able to really listen.

When you take the time out to really listen to someone that kindness is felt, it has a residual

effect that will be carried even after your conversation. You can compare it to throwing a

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pebble in a lake and seeing the ripples get bigger and bigger. This is what is possible when a

true act of love is displayed, a ripple effect begins and there is no limit or boundaries for you

cannot put a limit on love and love has no boundaries. Love can penetrate everything and

anything, this is what makes love so special for it can reach the farthest and create the largest

impact.

There is no higher vibrational frequency than love, and when you understand love from

within yourself you will identify with love. When you are asked what you are you will say I am

love, if there is any label you want to give yourself this is the only one. As David Icke said,

“Infinite love is the only truth everything else is an illusion.” What a perfect statement that

embodies all that we are. As your consciousness continues to rise so will your vibrations,

lower-level vibrational consciousness is nothing compared to the infinite source of love.

Lower-level vibrations are what most people resemble, and they want those on higher

vibrational frequencies to come back down to their level. Never lower your vibrations for

anyone. Anyone who is trying to get you to lower yourself for them is selfish. This, is why,

misery enjoys company. Miserable people cannot stand to see others happy they want everyone

to partake in their misery so they can feel better about themselves. Surround yourself by people

who make you feel better and challenge what you think. Do not entangle with anyone who is

not on your level, when someone goes low always go high. Their sense of control will lose all

its might, their sense of control is an illusion the only reason they even have it is because you

are giving it to them. Three weeks after my stroke I received a bill from the hospital for

350,000 dollars. I had to laugh when I saw the bill because I was trying to figure out what could

they have charged me that much for. I was in the hospital for twenty-four hours.

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 The events that would unfold after this has brought me to where I am at in my life

currently. I am a veteran who served his country honorably. I am also a 100 percent disabled

through the Marine Corps, now wouldn’t you know when I called the Veterans Administration

up and asked them about why I had a bill for 350,00 dollars they proceeded to tell me, well Mr.

Hamlin if you do not like the services you are receiving why don’t you just go back to your

country. I replied with, what fucking-country would that be? The one I was adopted from

before the age of five, or the one I broke my fucking back for! This is the nonsense that I am

talking about this is how veterans are being treated. I hung up the phone and if the fire within

me was not lit already well they just gave me the fuel to make it burn bright. I decided I would

not sit idly and allow this to happen. What I am about to discuss I told them I would do. I let the

Veteran Administration know that I was going to pick them apart piece by piece and that is

exactly what I am going to do. I am going to expose them for the fraud that they are. I know

exactly what they are doing, and the time has come for all, of my brothers and sisters to stand

up and not allow this nonsense to continue. You may have stopped me from giving my speech

last year, which I was going to give in front of the White House on 9/11, but I promise you I

will not stop until every veteran’s voice is heard. You had no problem sending us to fight your

bullshit war, and now you do not care when veterans bring the war back home. The lies you

have told and perpetuated have no bearing. Since you did not want me to give my speech

because you are afraid of my words, then I will continue to write and speak on the behalf of all

veterans and one day I will give my speech, and I will address the so-called powers that be that

are supposed to uphold our Constitutional Rights. Hard to uphold something that was built on

lies. You may have the masses fooled but to think you have me fooled you have another thing

coming. I do not need to raise my voice, but I will raise my words. This is what you fear, you

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fear the people coming together. I am about unity not separation, I am about truth not lies, I

stand for freedom not slavery, I am about bringing people together, you are about keeping us

separated. If you thought what you did last year would stop me then you have underestimated

my fortitude. Love is what saved me last year, if you have a problem with what I am saying my

door is always open. I do not fear what may come when I speak the truth, I will not keep my

mouth shut, or live-in fear. All you have done is strengthened my resolve and I am just getting

started. The love that flows within me grows stronger every-day. I do not live in a state of fear

and though you slowed me down for a few months I have been able to pick myself back up. I

have seen the so-called institutions of rehabilitation that you have created for veterans, I

promise you they are a joke. The psychiatric institutions that you have built within the Veterans

Administration is more of a pill dispensary. The so-called PTSD units and rehabilitation centers

have become a revolving door only recycling those who continue to go deeper into the hole of

madness that you have created. You label veterans with every diagnosis, and you tell them it is

not possible to get passed the experiences they have gone through. The more you label the more

you divide, when you understand that everything is vibration built on energy then you start to

connect all the dots. Once the dots are connected the pictures become clear. I can see exactly

what you are doing, and you have created a situation to keep veterans in a low vibrational state

to manipulate the energy from behind the scenes.

The Veteran’s Administration is a source of income for the pharmaceutical companies

that are pedaling medicine to the veterans by the boat load. You caused an epidemic with the

opioids and benzos that you were prescribing to veterans to shut them up. You created dis-ease

within them and altered their states of mind. You perpetuated the problem and only when the

crisis reached catastrophic levels you decided not to prescribe them at the rate you were. You

cl
are nothing but certified drug dealers, getting paid by the government. These so-called powers

that be, have flooded our streets with highly addictive drugs to keep the masses dumbed down

so they are not aware of what is going on. The only difference is that you are prescribing this

poison to the veterans that risked their lives for this country. After going through the chaos of

the war, they come home and realize that they have brought the war home with them. Then

what do you do? You drug them with poisons that you have created. The government never

talks about what is going on, they allow the system to continue, and they know exactly what

they are doing. Every-last one of you should be ashamed of yourselves and the fact that you

know what is happening is a disgrace. Veterans all around this country and world our suffering

due to the wars that have been created on your behalf. You created the problem, knew the

reaction that would happen and offered no solution. You offered no solution because you know

what you are doing. If you understand energy, then you understand that veterans are a huge

source of negative energy that is being emitted. That is why you have not fixed the problem that

you have created. The time has come for all veterans to come together. We are all brothers and

sisters and when we come together, we can right the wrongs that have been done. Every, last

one of us joined the military to be a part of something that was bigger than ourselves. Wipe

your hard drive clean and know that you are more than just veterans. Do not allow an

organization to label you and limit who you are, we are capable of so much more.

We must come to the realization that everything that is done to benefit those who are

manipulating behind the scenes. Stop feeding into their way of thinking. They are making you

feel small because they fear what all of you are capable of. They fear the idea of people coming

together because we are stronger together, we are weak separated. Every veteran has the

warrior spirit within them, now is the time to embrace the warrior spirit. Not with violence or

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hatred but with peace, balance and unity. Love is the absence of fear, to become love, one must

have the courage and I know all of you have that within you. I have had a front row seat at how

they are exploiting veterans. We must stand for what is right, we have been exploited by those

who say they are trying to help us. I am not saying that everyone in the Veteran Administration

is wrong, I have met many people who are trying to help, they are also aware that they are part

of a system that is broken. Unfortunately, this is not enough, this puts a burden on those who

work within the system because the process is discouraging. They know they are fighting an

uphill battle. Not only are they dealing with physical trauma they are dealing with mental

suffering. Suffering that comes from deep within. When you understand that suffering is mental

and pain is physical, then we as veterans need to understand that they are exploiting our mind.

Do not be a slave to your mind be the master of your mind. The mind is capable of manifesting

almost every form of dis-ease, if we are going to free ourselves of our mental suffering, we

must first come to understand why the mind is targeted the way it is. The mind keeps you

trapped in your five senses which are supposed to be used as a tool to help navigate what we

call life. We have allowed these tools to become the masters of what we are because we are

allowing those to manipulate our thoughts. We must raise our consciousness to the level where

we are the masters of the mind, by becoming the master of the mind you will no longer be

exploited by those who are trying to control you. Their sense of control will dissipate when we

take back control. The compartmentalization of the Veterans Administration is designed to

create nothing but negative emotions, hence the reason they created a system that perpetuates

the problem instead of trying to fix it. There are over 24 veterans dying daily because of

suicide, in what Universe should this be allowed. They speak about raising awareness of

veteran suicide and yet nothing is being done. This is an atrocity! We have lost more veterans

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to suicide since 9/11 than we have in combat. If this is not a wake-up call, then what the hell

will it take?

I have felt the suffering of veterans all, across, the country, I have heard their stories and

one of my next books will be based on their stories. Their stories need to be told. This is one of

the major factors that is affecting veterans they feel as if what they have done for their country

has gone in vain. They know that they are part of system that does not care about them, and this

is what is enraging them. They fight for a system that exploits them and when they ask for help

from the system they get treated unfairly. I have also met veterans who are creating more

problems within themselves. The only reason this is happening is because they have been

labeled to believe that they are messed up and cannot heal their wounds. This is insanity, they

have tried to label me also. They can go on labeling me, I do not identify with labels. The

moment you become a label is the moment you become separated and divided. You can throw

every label you want at me, but it will not have any effect on what I know to be true. I have

already been ridiculed and condemned. I have been called dangerous and mad, but you have

too, use terms like this so you can discredit me as a distraught veteran. I am prepared for all the

ridicule I will face, none of this bothers me for I will not allow the thoughts and actions of

others to dictate how I live my life. I have no problem sitting down and having a conversation

with anyone who may disagree with what I am saying. If any branch of government wants to

talk my door is always open. I am not hiding from anyone or anything. I do not live in a state of

fear, I do not live in a state of fearing the unknown, there is nothing you can scare me with. I

have gone deep down the rabbit hole. I wanted to see how far it goes down. I am not asking

anyone to do what I have done. I did not plan for this, but you brought me into your chess

match of life. I accepted your invitation and now I am going to exploit all your weaknesses.

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Your strength comes from perpetuating fear my strength comes from infinite love which has no

fear. There-fore you cannot exploit me. Your consciousness is based on power, greed, control

and the exploitation of fear. My consciousness is based on love, peace, balance harmony,

happiness and fearlessness. Your consciousness is playing checkers and I play chess with

Kings! If you want to come to my level, you will have to raise your consciousness. I will not

lower myself for anyone or anything.

Your power is nothing but an illusion, an illusion that has been passed down century

after century. Your illusion is built on a lie, I am not asleep, I have awakened to your illusion

and now you have a problem on your hands because I will not stop using my words. If it takes

me the rest of my life, I will dedicate myself to exploiting you for the frauds that you are. My

energy is limitless because it comes from an infinite source. Your energy comes from the

exploitation of those you wish to control. You will no longer use me as an energy source, I have

raised my vibrations high enough to the point where you can no longer affect me. You speak

about justice, but you have no idea what true justice is. You speak about equality knowing that

you are causing inequality. You should know that the truth is the only thing that can destroy a

lie, the time for lies, are ending, there is an awakening happening whether you like it or not.

You may think veterans are not aware, but I have met plenty who are. I told you I will not incite

violence; I do not believe in violence what I do believe in is truth and the truth is coming out.

You cannot stop me from writing or talking. You cannot suppress the truth because the more

you try to suppress it, the more it will be seen. The truth always finds a way of coming to the

surface. The vibrations of truth are coming to the surface for everyone to see. The phrases such

as I can feel your vibes is already being felt, those who are sensitive enough to what is going on

is starting to see things differently. “Everything is a manifestation of the one force moving at

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different rates of vibration. Vibrations are much more than the ripples of waves atop the water’s

surface that occur when a stone is dropped from above. Vibrations are a part of the water, of the

wave, of the stone, of the air through which the stone descends, of the hand that threw the

stone, and even of the thought that led to picking up the stone in the first place. Vibrations are a

part of all that exists and all that can be conceived. Everything that exists is vibration.” (Edgar

Cayce on Vibrations) If everything is vibration which is a manifestation of consciousness, then

as you raise your vibrations your consciousness will also raise. This, is why, understanding

vibrations through consciousness is paramount to living life. Life seen through the beauty of

higher vibrations creates optimal living conditions, when you start to see through the veil of lies

you no longer allow lower vibrational states of thoughts and emotions to manipulate your way

of thinking. Take the time to consider your thoughts and actions, know that you have the

ability, to create beauty on levels you never imagined. Everything has consciousness and I

mean everything from the smallest grain of sand to the entirety of the cosmos. Understand this

is what we are you can think that you are as small as the grain of sand or as large as the cosmos.

We have the ability of becoming a tidal wave of destruction, or the ability to make an infinite

ripple of beauty that touches everyone and everything.

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 CHAPTERVIII

THE OBSESSION WITH POWER:

“Any man who tries to be good all the time is bound to come to ruin among the great

number who are not good. Hence a Prince who wants to keep his authority must learn how not

to be good, and use that knowledge, or refrain from using it, as necessity requires.”

The Prince Niccolò Machiavelli, 1469-1527

“Power is a social game. To learn and master it, you must develop the ability to study

and understand people. As the great seventeenth-century thinker and courtier Baltasar Gracian

wrote: Many people spend time studying the properties of animals or herbs; how much more

important it would be to study those of people, with whom we must live or die! To be a master

player you must also be a master psychologist. You must recognize motivations and see through

the cloud of dust with which people surround their actions. Understanding of people's hidden

motives is the single greatest piece of knowledge you can have in acquiring power. It opens, up

endless possibilities of deception, seduction, and manipulation

People are of infinite complexity, and you can spend a lifetime watching them without

even fully understanding them. So, it is all, the more important, then, to begin your education

now. In doing so you must also keep one principle in mind: never discriminate as to whom you

study and whom you trust. Never trust anyone completely and study everyone, including friends

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and loved ones. Finally, you must learn always to take the indirect route to power. Disguise

your cunning. Like a billiard ball that caroms several times before it hits its target, your moves

must be planned and enveloped in the least obvious way. By training yourself to be indirect,

you can thrive in the modern court, appearing the paragon of decency while being the

consummate manipulator.

Learning the game of power requires a certain way of looking at the world, a shifting of

perspective. It takes effort and years of practice, for much of the game may not come naturally.

Certain basic skills are required, and once you master these skills you would be able to apply

the laws of power more easily. The most important of these skills, and powers crucial

foundation, is the ability to master your emotions. An emotional response to a situation is the

single greatest barrier to power, a mistake that will cost you a lot more than any temporary

satisfaction you might gain by expressing your feelings. Emotions cloud reason, if you cannot

see the situation clearly, you cannot prepare for and respond to it with any degree of control.

Anger is the most destructive of emotional responses, for it clouds your vision the most. It also

has a ripple effect that invariably makes situations less controllable and heightens your

enemy’s resolve if you are trying to destroy an enemy who has hurt you, far better to keep him

off-guard by feigning friendliness than showing your anger.

Love and affection are also potentially destructive, in that they blind you to the often,

self-serving interests of those whom you least suspect of playing a power game. You cannot

repress anger or love, or avoid feeling them, and you should not try. But you should be careful

about how you express them, and most important, they should never influence your plans and

strategies in any way. Related to mastering your emotions mastering your emotions is the

ability to distance yourself from the present moment and think objectively about the past and

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future. Like Janus, the double-faced Roman deity and guardian of all gates and doorways, you

must be able to look in both directions at once, the better to handle danger from wherever it

comes. Such is the face you must create for yourself-one face looking continuously to the future

and the other to the past. For the future, the motto is, “No days unalert.” Nothing should catch

you by surprise because you're constantly imagining problems before they arise. Instead of

spending your time dreaming of your plan’s happy ending, you must work on calculating every

possible permutation and pitfall that might emerge in it. The further you see, the more steps

ahead you plan, the more powerful you become.

Power requires the ability to play with appearances. To this end you must learn to wear

many masks and keep a bag full of deceptive tricks. Deception and masquerade should not be

seen as ugly or immoral. All human interaction requires deception on many levels, and in some

ways, what separates humans from animals is our ability to lie and deceive. In Greek myths, in

India's Mahabharata cycle, in the Middle Eastern epic of Gilgamesh, it is the privilege of the

gods to use deceptive arts; a great man, Odysseus for instance, was judged by his ability to

rival the craftiness of the gods, stealing some of their divine power by matching them in wits

and deception. Deception is a developed art of civilization and the most potent weapon in the

game of power. You cannot succeed at deception unless you take a somewhat distanced

approach to yourself-unless you can be many different people, wearing the mask that the day

and moment require. With such a flexible approach to all appearances, including your own,

you lose a lot of the inward heaviness that holds people down. Make your face as malleable as

the actor’s, work to conceal your intentions from others, practice luring people into traps.

Playing with appearances and mastering art of deception are among the aesthetic pleasures of

life. They are also key components in the acquisition of power.

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 If deception is the most potent weapon in your arsenal, then patience and all things is

your crucial shield. Patience will protect you from making moronic blunders. Like mastering

your emotions, patience is a skill-it does not come naturally. But nothing about power is

natural; power is more godlike than anything in the natural world. And patience is the supreme

virtue of the gods, who have nothing but time. Everything good will happen-the grass will grow

again, if you give it time and see several steps into the future. Impatience, on the other hand,

only makes you look weak. It is a principal impediment to power. Power is essentially amoral

and one of the most important skills to acquire is the ability to see circumstances rather than

good or evil. Power is a game-this cannot be repeated too often and in games you do not judge

your opponents by their intentions but by the effect of their actions. You measure their strategy

and their power by what you can see and feel. How often are someone’s intentions made the

issue only to cloud and deceive! What does it matter if another player, your friend or rival,

intended good things and had only your interests at heart, if the effects of his action lead to so

much ruin and confusion? It is only natural for people to cover up their actions with all kinds

of justifications, always assuming, that they have acted out of goodness. You must learn to

inwardly laugh each time you hear this and never get caught up in gauging someone’s

intentions and actions through a set of moral judgments that are really an excuse for the

accumulation of power.”

Robert Greene The 48 Laws of Power

The manipulation of power can be seen on all forefronts, with those who have eyes to

see. Power is the most addictive drug there is, more addictive than any manufactured drug on

the planet. The phrase goes, the true test of a man is to give him a little power and see what he

does with it. This statement is a profound truth, for unfortunately humanity has become

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corrupted with the insatiable thirst of power. We are no longer adhering to the morals of justice

that should be at the forefront of humanity. Power is seeping through the pores of humanity,

and everyone is becoming deceptive. To the point where nobody knows who to trust anymore.

Humanity has an insatiable appetite for control. Control is this currency being deployed

everywhere and those who can see through the manipulation understand the power struggle that

is currently going on. The idea that we have come to the point where we are now studying how

to me more manipulative to further an agenda that has nothing to do with helping one another is

absurd. This agenda is about serving one’s best interest. Interestingly, enough, they do not talk

much about love when it comes to power because they have inverted love into a form of

weakness. There is no greater act of fearlessness and courage when you decide to embody love.

When you become love, you are not thinking about what someone might do to you because

love does not work that way. Love, knows, that it has the ability, to diffuse power dead in its

tracks, it is the way that love is used that changes the hearts and minds of others. Love is not a

form of control, but now we have put a price tag on love and adding it to the arsenal of power

because we have become indulged of the idea of having more power by any means necessary.

Power is a form of greed, which has corrupted the minds of the many. Greed is an

addiction and there is no greater form of greed than power. We are using power as a tool, which

has distorted the energy between ourselves and others. Everyone has felt what it is like being

around someone who literally sucks their energy. You walk away from the conversation or

argument feeling drained. I have felt my energy being drained at exponential levels, to the point

where I would have to lay down after having a conversation with someone. The ability to take

someone’s energy and distort their electromagnetic field can be felt everywhere. This sort of

manipulation has been going on for far longer than you can possibly fathom. Those who

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understand what we are, have been distorting the energy that surrounds us on all facets, and

everything is designed to extract energy. The greed of those who understand what energy is, is

on full display and they are using every tactic there is. What sort of world our we living in

where this has become the norm? Wake up! You have been hypnotized and lied to for far too

long. The use of power is on display everywhere, and we must wake up to what is going on.

Power cannot become the way of life, where everyone is out for themselves. I have seen what

this does to communities, groups, organizations, and even nature. It is not enough to just

conquer one another we must conquer everything we come across. Not caring about the

repercussions that we are causing along the way. Change will never come if we continue to be

obsessed with power. Stop idolizing individuals with man made labels of power. Their power is

an illusion, and their power will seize to exist once you stop surrendering your power to them.

You have allowed the illusion of power to distort your entire chemistry of who you are, to the

point even where not even a single thought of what you are doing to attain power comes to

mind. When has this become the norm? Is this really what we want our children to learn? How

much longer are we going to allow this to continue?

We have made it the norm to wear masks. Deception has become the way of life. I will

agree with one thing Robert Greene said that you could be around someone your whole life and

still not know who they are. The have created so many masks that you never know who you are

going to encounter. These masks have become the trademark of existence, it is much easier to

wear a mask instead of displaying your true self. How many people are you trying to be? Who

are you trying to impress? We are becoming more deceptive with each turning minute and

everyone is acting like this is normal. In what Universe is this normal? Are we really, that far

gone to the point of no return? Have we become this self-absorbed with ourselves that we could

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care less who we affect along the way? We have been taught to wield the force of power as if it

is a toy. Honestly, the idea that this has become a way of life is a disgrace. How can you

honestly feel good about yourself knowing that you are manipulating, deceiving, and

controlling others for your own gain? I have experienced the manipulation and deception on

every level, I have seen people exploit me only to further themselves. To further yourself at the

expense of others is what is being done everywhere. Power is not a tool that is to be used for the

exploitation of others, it only deadens the very spirit that resides within. This form of deception

and manipulation has hardened the hearts of so many. I completely understand why so many

have turned away from love. Life is designed for love not to be spread, especially not the way

that I am talking about. We do not teach to treat one another properly, in-fact we are teaching

hate everywhere, we hate so much we hate ourselves. When hate is pushed instead of love

being spread is it any wonder why the world is the way it is. We must be able to find the beauty

in everyone and everything again. Everyone is living for themselves and not concerning

themselves with anyone or anything. It is as if everyone is in their own little bubble, as, long as,

nothing impedes their bubble, they go on acting as if everything is fine. Only when your bubble

gets penetrated do you start to see outside your own bubble. You have forgotten who you are

and why you are here, this world is designed to keep you entrapped in your five senses and the

time is upon us to honestly take a deep look within ourselves, so we can liberate our mind from

this illusion that we call life. The battle for the mind is what we are up against, everything has

been designed to entrap your mind. You are living a lie and the time has come to stand up for

truth. The truth is hidden within yourself. Power is being used against you to deter you from the

truth. Power is only a form of deception and selfishness, teaching you all the wrong things.

Power is distorting your energy, creating a field of malicious entanglement and when power has

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you, this form of control is worse than any drug. As they say violence only begets more

violence, well power only corrupts. You are corrupting that which wants to be set free not

controlled and when you allow yourself to be corrupted with the insatiable thirst of power then

you have allowed yourself to become a slave to that which is trying to control you. If power is

your driving motivation, then you have become selfish in the illusion of what power is. You

cannot control an energy source that you are not even aware you are yielding you are playing

with fire and eventually you will get burned. How can you control something which is trying to

control you? Your minds have been corrupted with the notion of power, it has closed your

hearts and now you are only a shell of who you are. When this becomes your focal point of

existence you have allowed yourself to become that which cannot be. What you cannot be is

love, you have now become fear for love is the absence of fear!

Stop deceiving yourselves with the idea that those who wield power are something to

idolize. The idolization of power has become a virus all on its own, you are creating demigods

and feeding the ego of those who cannot even acknowledge you exist. Everyone is trying to be

something for which they are not. You have created a reality built on false ideologies and then

wonder why things are not what they seem. Stop being part of the problem and become part of

the solution. How long are you going stand by idly and allow this continue? What will you say

to your children when the time comes to say goodbye, will you tell them that you have left this

world a better place than when you arrived? Or will you know that you were part of the

problem that created the chaos, that our children have, to pay the price for. I will not be part of

the problem therefore I will oppose anyone and anything who is trying to create a world of fear.

I will stand up for those who feel that they do not have a voice. I will raise my words for

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everyone to hear. I will create peace, harmony, and balance infused with the only true power

that exists which is love!

I know about power, before my transformation I imposed my will on others. Power

became a tool that I used to shield myself from those who wished to only use me. I did not care

to listen to those who wanted to talk, I saw through their lies and then called them out for what

they were. I was becoming what I hated. Be mindful of what you hate, for what you hate you

become. Power in its true sense is only the manipulation of energy. Everyone is deceiving

themselves, believing in the notion of power. The use of power to manipulate and deceive

others is being played out on the world stage. Humanity has forgotten that their true purpose is

to evolve and to help others evolve along the way. There are those who are manipulating energy

behind the scenes and are creating an entanglement of chaos. If you understand energy and

know that everything is energy vibrating on various levels of frequencies, then to maliciously

distort energy to empower yourself is a dis-ease which is infecting everyone and everything you

come across. The visualization of Massaru Emoto’s work is scientific proof that your thoughts

and words create a massive impact on others. I know from experience what this does to people,

I am appalled at the way I behaved before as I created chaos with anyone I disagreed with. My

selfishness was on display for the world to see and I did not care about the ramifications of

what I was doing. I understand the ramifications of my thoughts, words, and actions and I hold

myself responsible for everything that I do now. I harbor no ill will towards anyone for I know

the impact of what harboring your emotions can create. You may think that just because you are

not saying what you feel that you are not distorting yours or others energy fields. You have no

idea how powerful your thoughts are. The power that you want, is possessing you because you

are constantly trying to control something that you cannot control. Power is only a form of

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control and we have become so infatuated with control that we do not know what to do when

we are not in control. We cannot even control ourselves and yet we are trying to control others.

Why do you think that is? Do you believe that by controlling others that you can better control

yourself? If this is what you believe you are living a lie, you have created a false reality and are

distorting every aspect of your life. You are not even aware that you are causing more chaos

within yourself. The fact that we feel the need to control others has become a sickness. This

sickness has created the world that we currently live in. The illusion of power for which you are

trying to attain has corrupted your every thought, word, and action. By continuing to strive for

power you are creating constant division within yourself and others. This is exactly what the

system wants, we are perpetuating the problem instead of creating the solution.

“You will be surprised to know that the English word `love' comes from a very ugly root

in Sanskrit. It comes from lobh. Lobh means greed. And as far as ordinary love is concerned, it

is a kind of greed. That's why there are people who love money, there are people who love

houses, there are people who love this, who love that. Even if they love a woman or a man, it is

simply their greed; they want to possess everything beautiful. It is a power trip. Hence, you will

find lovers continuously fighting, fighting about such trivia that they both feel ashamed, in their

silent moments when they are alone, they feel, "Do I become possessed by some evil spirit? --

such trivia, so meaningless." But it is not a question of trivia; it is a question of who has power,

who is more dominant, whose voice is heard. Love cannot exist in such circumstances.”

The Mystic Osho

This last statement is profound, maybe this will help to understand why power and love

cannot coexist. We have become so infected with greed that we are trying to even control love.

Love cannot be controlled, and anyone trying to control love knows nothing about love! You

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have diluted the word love, to create a false, illusion, so you can control it. Love only wants to

be free therefore you cannot control that which wants to be free. Power only wants to control.

Power wants to control you and power wants to control others. We have not even mastered how

to control ourselves and yet we are trying to control everyone else. When we try to control

others, we are no longer in control of ourselves, for one cannot control something that he does

not understand. If you understand yourself and who you are the notion of control and power

will seize to exist. I have seen the measures that those who wish to stay in power will go too.

They live in a state of fear because fear is what is driving their form of control. Fear is being

felt everywhere, and because fear is being funneled through the system at such an exponential

rate anyone who entangles with this fear is being controlled and manipulated by the structures

of so-called powers that are supposed to help us not destroy us. We are destroying ourselves

from the inside out. We are being exposed on all levels of our true nature and those who have

awakened can see through the veil of lies. Those who have awakened to the agenda that is on

full display must not concede to the notion of power. The manipulation of power on all sides is

creating a tidal wave of fear. Only by raising your vibrations through an expanded state of

consciousness and awareness will you be able to avoid the cataclysm of deceit. The game of

power can only be played on low vibrational levels. This, is why, everything is designed to

keep you in this state of dis-ease. Everyone needs to take a moment and take a good look at

their lives. Are you living a life based on truth or lies? Have you come to a point in your life

where you are not quite sure why this or that is going on? Are you still believing in

coincidences, or are you living in synchronicity aware that everything that happens in your life

has reason and meaning? Stop giving your power away to those who wish to control you. Those

who wish to control you can only keep their power if you give it to them.

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 Unfortunately, the masses are asleep. We have slept long enough we can no longer

adhere to the perpetuations of lies. The lies have led to countless wars and conflict, which are

being create not by the many but by the few. Our history has been distorted and written by

those who wish to continue the lie. The history that you teach in our schools are lies, and the

ripple effect of chaos and destruction that you are creating is unfathomable. You talk about

truth and yet you know nothing about truth, your knowledge is borrowed, you are not speaking

from experience. I know what you are capable of! I am here to inform you that I am not

impressed. You speak about freedom and yet you have no idea what that word even means.

True freedom comes from infinite love, but you have distorted the meaning of the word for

your own gain. When will the madness end? Have we become so infatuated with the concept of

power that we will do anything to reach it? Yes, we have! Power has become a disease all

within itself. We have become blind to everything because power is not about compassion it is

about passion. A passion that is blinding you. The idea that we have become a society addicted

to the concept of power is madness. A madness that is sweeping through this world, and

everyone is trying to have more. More money, more respect, more houses, more cars, more

friends, more lovers, more deception, more manipulation. Notice how the one thing that

everyone should be looking for, has become a figment of their imagination. This, is why, power

is being played, because for you to be so called successful in this world you are going to have to

learn the game of power. The game of power is distorting everything and everyone, it is much

easier to control others instead of controlling yourself. The problem is we are not in control of

ourselves because we have learned it is easier to control others. Why be responsible for your

own actions when those who are in so called power are not responsible for theirs. They

continue perpetuating the problem because they know the solution does not benefit them.

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Instead of not adhering to their nonsense we have joined them. I have seen what power does, I

promise you power does only one thing it destroys the very foundation of what we are. There is

no respect for one another in this way of thinking because your consciousness has become

distorted with and entangled with what is supposed to be important. I have met plenty of people

who consider themselves powerful, their belief is an illusion, their so-called power dissipates in

my presence for I will not allow anyone to manipulate or deceive me. Adhering to the nonsense

of others who have not even figured out why they are here is insanity. Here lies the problem

everyone is trying to control everyone else. Nobody is taking responsibility of their own lives

they want others to be responsible for them because by living in this manner you do not have to

be burdened with what you do. We have allowed this convoluted way of thinking to control our

lives long enough.

I take responsibility of my own actions whether they are positive or negative. I do not

allow myself to be distorted in a convoluted way of thinking or worried about what I have done

in my so-called past. I have learned from my mistakes and understand that the only one who is

going to fix anything in my life is myself. This is not what the masses are doing we are wanting

others to fix our problems, by allowing this to happen you have opened yourself to the

manipulation and deception of others. We have become so entangled with others that we no

longer have any control or aspect of our lives. Life is easier when you are not ridiculed and

condemned, there is a reason for this, societies have been built on false ideologies believing in

someone else’s truth. Every religion is believing in someone else’s truth, instead of finding the

truth themselves. Seems like everyone has given up on finding the truth because finding the

truth will lead you to a sense of enlightenment that the few do not want the many to have.

Religion is the biggest form of power there is because it has become something to fear and be

clxviii
guilty of. Religion teaches polarities the notion of good and evil, light and dark, God and the

Devil. They are only different sides of the same coin. The moment you identify with one duality

you must identify with the other. As I have said earlier there are no polarities there is only

oneness. They have been lying about this for far too long and the time has come for everyone to

realize that this is only a form of control. A power game is being played, the masses have no

idea what they are even worshipping and only those who have awakened or gone deep enough

into the rabbit hole will understand this. Those who have awakened to the false ideology of

religions know the masses have been played. There are no prophets, messiahs, or saviors so

stop waiting for this to happen. How ridiculous have we become where we do not even want to

help or save our-selves we want someone else to do it. Ever wonder why they have perpetuated

this nonsense for so long? They have done this as a form of control and power to be in fear of

the unknown and certainly death. The notion of power when it comes to Religion is insanity. I

can hear the so-called religious people now screaming at what I am saying. Let me tell you how

much I could care less. These so-called religious people know nothing about religiousness! I am

open to have a conversation with anyone who wants to try to convince me of their religion.

Your truth is not your own therefore I will not conform to your ridiculous ideologies that have

caused more mayhem and destruction than anything else. In 5,000 years, 3,000 wars have been

fought. Most have been fought proclaiming some sort of God, has told them that they are

supposed to fight. Hmmm, I wonder what so called God would be proclaiming that?

Why are we adhering to this nonsense? Everyone speaks about truth yet only a few have

attained to reach for it. We have allowed religions to become the greatest invention of power

known to humanity and yet only a few, question the actual truth of it. The masses have been

brainwashed to conform to a way of thinking that keeps them in a state of fear. When you live

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in fear of religion and God, the programmed matrix that we live in has you big time. What God

needs to be feared and worshipped the way so-called religions speak of? Men want to be feared

and worshipped, that is why they have created a sense of duality. Everything in society has been

created as a form of separation. There is no separation everything is interconnected as we are all

apart of the same infinite consciousness. If we continue to live in a world that divides instead of

unites, we will continue to live separated from one another. We are only fighting ourselves, as

we are all aspects of one another. Everything is energy vibrating on different frequencies, the

only separation is the separation within yourself. By allowing power to become a way of life

you are only adhering to the division within yourself, for once you are awakened there is no

more division. To say there are not people involved in sick demonic practices would be a lie.

This is absolutely going on and those within the highest-level structures of power know exactly

what they are doing. The only way to continue feeding their so-called energy source is if you

conform to their way of thinking. This, is why, the masses need to awaken because once

awakened the energy source of fear will no longer be fed. You are feeding that which wants to

control you. Know that a transformation within yourself needs to happen. We must create a

synthesis within ourselves to exsolve all polarities. If you experience this you will be reborn,

reborn into your true self. This is what enlightenment is, for once you have become enlightened

there is no going back. The door has been opened and you have walked through it. There is no

reversing the process. You will not be the same person you were before in-fact the change can

be so drastic that most people who knew you before will not understand who you are now. They

have not experienced what you have and without the experience there can be no knowing. This

is what those who wish to continue the game of power fear the most. Understand this those who

you are giving your power to, know that the moment you awaken or become enlightened there

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is no more control. No awakened or enlightened being would allow anyone to control them or

dictate some sort of power game against them. In-fact they will do whatever is necessary to

awaken as many other people as possible. Enlightenment belongs to the many not the few, but

knowledge has been suppressed to keep the masses in a dumbed down state, it is much easier to

control people when you understand what this world is about. Controlling an awakened or

enlightened being is something completely different. There is no controlling them for there is

nothing you can coerce them to do. The notion of fear and hatred has been replaced with love

and happiness. Fearlessness will arise from within and anyone who is fearless is a threat to the

establishment that has been created. The last thing they want are the masses to become fearless,

fearlessness can only come from love, by love I mean infinite love because those who have

infinite love know that there is nothing to fear. Fear is a form of power which is being used by

religions, every major media outlet, social media platforms, politicians and so-called leaders of

this world. I see no leaders when I look at those who are-in-charge of nations. I see followers

and pretenders.

Interestingly, we have come full circle, I called out the so-called leaders of the world

last year. I said I was coming to Washington D.C. to give a speech and that I was bringing

veterans to show a united front of what we are. Apparently, those of you who believe that you

have power did not want me coming there. What is it that you were so afraid of, I spoke of non-

violence and unity, and you came at me with everything you have? Now here is the interesting

part about all this, you did not approach me with the courage of coming to talk to me you came

at me in a way I did not know existed. For a moment you threw me off, with how you

manipulate and use mind control. Do not think though for one second that you have deterred me

from what I want to do. You may have stopped my speech but please believe all you did was

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allow me to understand the depths of how far you are willing to go. The problem is you chose

to come at someone who does not fear death. I know that all of you know I am not in fear of the

ridicule and condemnation that I may receive but what bothers you even more is that I have not

stopped doing what I know is right to be done. I cannot be coerced or manipulated in believing

that your way of doing things is right and because you came at me the way you did only tells

me that I am on the right path. Those of you who I called out know who you are, it must worry

you that I have not stopped my searching for the truth. I know what you are doing in this world

the sad thing is that what you are capable of means nothing to me. I am not in fear of what you

may do to me for speaking the truth and now I will address the situation that we are in. You

wanted me to live in a state of fear for knowing what I know. I must laugh because you have

underestimated the power of love. Love is what got me through everything you put me through

last year, love is what brought me back to my children, love is what is giving me the courage to

speak loud enough for everyone to hear. You came at me physically and mentally but now what

will you do? What you did last year did not work and I will discuss in detail what you did so

everyone is aware of what you are doing. I do not fear death and furthermore I do not fear any

of you. You are cowards, and only cowards attack the way you do. You did not have the

courage to face me face-to-face so you came at me in a way that would make everyone think

that I am crazy. Anyone who knows me now, knows that I am not crazy in-fact I am opening

minds everywhere and all I am doing is speaking the truth. Funny how the truth is what scares

you because the truth is what will set us free. Your ways of doing things are being exposed,

now the time has come for everyone to join hands and stand up for what they believe in. By

coming together, we can become united behind truth which is what they do not want. There is

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no law that says I cannot bring people together. This is not what you want because this will

create a tidal wave of love. The power of matter is not in its weight, but in its intensive action.

Know that all you have done is made me stronger, my strength comes from within fused

by love. The love that I have grows larger and stronger every second, every minute, every hour,

and end every-day. Time is only an illusion that you have used as a form of control. Your

control has no bearing on what I will do. Your control does not tell me when to get up or go to

bed. Your form of control is nonsense. In-fact I bend your so-called time to my will to get what

I need done. I laugh at when people say there is not enough time in the day, if you were not

hypnotized by everything that is used to distract you, you would have all the time in the world. I

have seen time literally stop and I have also experienced time in a way where it seemed it was

moving a hundred times faster. Think what you want about time, but it is relative. We have

allowed a mechanical device which is a clock to run our lives, the nonsense. Wake up and

realize that you are in a coma and the longer you are asleep the more power you are giving

away.

Think about all the forms of power that are on display. We play the game of power so

much this has become the normal way to conduct our daily lives. Imposing our thoughts and

actions on others to illicit a response that benefits ourselves and not others is completely wrong

we are funneling down a vortex not knowing where the end is. We must rise to the occasion

that we find ourselves in. This does not have to be a place where it is everyone out for

themselves. This has created the situation that we are in. The situation that we are in is an

insane asylum, you do not have to go anywhere to see the insanity all you have to do is open

your eyes and see the world that we are living in. The insanity is being created because our

collective consciousness is creating it. If we are capable, of creating the mad-ness then we are

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capable, of dispelling the madness within ourselves which we can portray towards everyone and

everything. I have come full circle I no longer allow anyone or anything to dictate my thoughts

and actions this has been an amazing experience though I have had to go through the madness

to get to this point it has been worth it. I would not trade anyone of my experiences for anything

for out of these experiences I have become what I have always wanted to be. I live in complete

peace even though the world is in complete madness, I do not entangle with all that is being

funneled through the system of deceit and lies. I have lived that way long enough entangling

my-self in the madness and by entangling my-self I became a part of the madness. I lived a life

that was not a life that I wanted by allowing my-self to live this way I became what I hated. We

must be mindful of that which we are not trying to become. I do not hate anyone in-fact I have

been able to transform that hate into love.

My love is no sign of weakness, I have taken back the power that I was giving away. I

have complete control of my life and furthermore I take full responsibility of my actions. By

living this way, I dictate what happens in my life and nothing can stop me from becoming that

which I know I am. I am not here to conform anyone or create a new religion. Religions have

distorted the truth and I am not about distorting anything or anyone. I am about truth, but the

truth can only come from within. The transformation that comes from within can only come

from experience, experience is the greatest teacher there is. Experiences teaches us how to grow

and evolve into what we are meant to be. What we are meant to be is infinite beings capable of

so much more than what we have been told. Everyone is afraid to be their true-selves which is

unfortunate because being your true-self is the only way you will come to the realization that

we have been fed lies to suppress who we are. The power of the few has dictated every aspect

of our lives because we have allowed this deception to continue. We cannot be consumed by

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the power and hatred of others to distort our way of thinking. Their idea of power is based on

the idea that we must conform to their way of thinking and doing things. This does not have to

be, we have been led to believe that this is the only way things are, this is the power of a lie

because the more people that believe it the harder it is to break free from it. There are those who

believe that knowledge is power. "Power rests on the kind of knowledge one holds. What is the

sense of knowing things that are useless?" This is a statement that is interesting for the simple

fact we are fed information that has no bearing on how to live your life and we are surely not

told, about who and what we are. Knowledge is neither good nor evil as there are no polarities

when you understand that everything is ONE. When you can reach a certain level of

consciousness then one does not see division or separation. The notion of division only pertains

to those who vibrate on low vibrational frequencies because by living in this state one cannot

see that everything in interconnected. Consciousness, awakening, or what others call

enlightenment is when you can see past the division and separateness within one another. Yes,

we are all unique in the aspect of individualization which allows everyone to express

themselves in who and what they do. The notion of power and how it corrupts everything that it

entangles with is the simple reason so many have strived towards achieving power. Knowledge

in the wrong hands can become dangerous because it is not being used to free anyone it is being

manipulated and distorted for everyone to believe that this is how life is. This is nonsense that

has been pedaled for far to long to distort and hide the truth from coming out.

Power is only a form of control that is being wielded by those who have entangled with

the notion of power and all power does is create a sense of wanting more. We not only want

more materialistic things to surround ourselves to make us feel better, but we also need to

surround ourselves by individuals that we can control because it feeds the ego that now we have

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achieved a certain status in life that allows us to think that we are better than someone else.

There is nothing wrong with having nice things as long, as you do not become attached to

materialism. The materialism of this world has become a virus within itself. The greed that is on

display if literally unfathomable. There are so many people living for themselves not even

aware that what they are doing is feeding into the power structure of those who are trying to

control you. Those who understand what this world is and why it has been designed to entrap

you know fully how to manipulate and distort the human mind. The human mind is being

flooded with useless knowledge used to control humanity. Humanity has been inflicted with

power which leads to creating energy fields designed to distort everything and everyone to live

in a state of deception. The lack of trust that is on display everywhere is why humanity has

begun to put barriers around themselves because it is hard to find genuine people nowadays.

Everyone has an underlying motive to what they are doing. Why? We have become so distorted

in thinking this way that we are not aware of what we are causing. The ripple effect of the

masses is creating the chaos that we are living in. The ripple effect is being funneled through a

system designed to create the chaos. Fear has become the currency of power that is being used

because it is easy to control people who are in fear. Their thoughts are no longer their thoughts,

what the masses are doing are only perpetuating the propaganda of the system. The

brainwashing is on full display, and everyone is locked in. Technology is being used to

brainwash the masses. Technology is a huge power tool that is being created to distract you

from everything that is going on. More smokescreens are being created daily because if we can

get the masses distracted and focused on a certain thing it creates the perfect diversion.

We need to understand the intimidation factor of power and how it is used. If we cannot

see how intimidation is being used, then we are truly blind. Intimidation is used in all facets of

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society as a form of control. Take away the sense of security for someone and the intimidation

factor is on full display. Why enforce your will, when all you need to do is intimidate the

masses at succumbing to your way of thinking. Fear is the greatest form of intimidation there is.

When someone lives in a state of fear there is not much resistance. Those who live freely, do

not succumb to fear for they know that fear is the enemy. Reality can be distorted, living in a

state of fear. The notion of power and control dissipates when you are fearless for you know

that there is nothing to fear but fear itself. We need to get past the idea that there is some sort of

weakness that comes with love. There is no greater form of strength or courage than love. For

love has the ability, to grow more than any emotion that exists. The ripple effect that it has is

beautiful to watch. Love is what brings people together it creates an atmosphere that can be felt

the more that it is spread. Love becomes contagious in the right setting and has the power to

spread like a brush fire. Fire only grows the more it is fed, as with love the more that is given

the more is received. Love is infinite and does not allow itself to become entrapped by any

man-made barriers or walls. The Universal love that I describe is the power that is the fabric of

all existence. How can you control something for which you are a part of? Love cannot be

controlled, forced, or wielded for personal gain. Love cannot be received properly if it is not

given freely. If there is a power, we want to wield then wield the power of love, for the

strongest become love. This is what those who wish to rule us do not want us to know they are

nothing without the power of fear, for we are unstoppable when we all come together for there

is nothing we cannot do. Love is what binds us, love is the glue it is what holds everything in

balance in the constant flow of life.

I have seen the truth, the truth that has been hidden to the many. The truth is not what

you think, we need to understand that there is so much more than what we have been told. The

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truth we have been told is a lie, fabricated by those who wish to control us through the notion of

power. I have seen how those who control things from behind the scenes wield power. They

also know that they could not make me bow to them. I laughed in their face, and I would do it

again for your power is based on fear something which I do not have. You may have knocked

me down, but I got back up and I did not turn my cheek or give up. I will never succumb to the

notion of fear, and I will speak the truth for everyone to hear. That is the beauty of becoming

love, it negates all your power you try to impose. Your power is manipulation and deception,

and you know when the masses wake up, they will see through your lies. Your lies are built on

a foundation that cannot hold. The difference with my knowing and what you have is my

knowing comes from within and always adapts. What you have is a carbon copy, a phony, a

fake those of you in power do not have the ability to create. Everything that you do is not based

on original thought you can only mimic and copy, this is where you are weak. For I will adapt

and overcome, I see all your moves and they are pathetic and weak. I do not care for power

never have and never will. All the enticement you did to try to convert me, and it did not work.

You know who I am, I am that which everyone is capable of being and this is what you fear.

Otherwise, you would not have come at me the way that you did. You showed all your cards,

but the game has just begun, for I am only getting started, just wait till I am done. Your power

is a joke to infinite love anyone who is awake understands what I say. The time to come

together is NOW, for now is all that exists. When we all come together and show the power of

ONE, everything will change the energy that is being spread will begin to dissipate and we can

create a world that is worthy of our children growing up in.

Everyone needs to understand that this is what we are, we are energy vibrating on

different frequencies. Everything is energy and I mean everything. We are giving away our

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power and the more we stay divided and separated the longer this will take. As they say there is

no time like the present and the time has come for everyone to partake in the game of life. We

are creating the madness the madness comes from within. We have the ability, to change the

game by tuning into the higher vibrations and suppressing the power. Everything is designed to

keep us distracted, distracted from the truth of what is going on. We are literally

electromagnetic fields therefore we can distort or create reality. Our reality has become

distorted by those who wish to manipulate the truth. The truth is the only way to get out of this

madness. The madness has become infused with notion of power and greed. We must get

passed this notion of continuously taking instead of giving. We are caught in a continuous time

loop and the masses are allowing this to happen. Power has secreted into our pores creating a

situation that is all about me, me, me. There is no concept of we because we have been taught to

believe not to think this way.

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 CHAPTER VIIII:

OUT OF SIGHT OUT OF MIND:

“Freedom is the right of all people to express who they are, what they think and how

they wish to live their lives; free from imposition or hassle from anyone. It is to be able to

celebrate our individual uniqueness without rules, regulations, ridicule and condemnation from

those who seek to impose their view of life upon the rest of us. You stop a tyranny with freedom

for all; you end violence by being peaceful; you eliminate hatred with love; you end dogma

with freedom of expression; we remove divisions by realizing that all of us are one all aspects

of the same infinite consciousness.”

David Icke

This is a beautiful statement from David Icke. David Icke is someone whom I deeply

respect. It takes a certain type of character to speak on the topics that he written about. Not

everyone is willing to go deep down the rabbit hole like he has. On top of that he has had to

face ridicule and condemnation by the masses for years. Interestingly, people are starting to talk

more about what he has written. What he speaks of are controversial topics, but he has over

thirty years of experience and surmised an unbelievable amount of research that he has gathered

from all over the world. Anyone willing to put themselves out on a world stage for everyone to

clxxx
see has courage. The courage he has comes from within which has allowed him to withstand the

ridicule he has received. He is a pioneer in the aspect that he was willing to talk about highly

controversial subjects that no one would go near. The truth is he has opened peoples minds to

the idea that not everything is what it seems. I hold him in high regard because he does not

allow anyone or anything to dictate his thoughts and actions. If he was such a madman and

crazy, then why all the censoring of his information that he is speaking about. Everyone knows

that the mainstream media reports only what they are told to report. Nowadays it is hard to find

any journalist willing to tow the line because it will come with consequences. Journalists who

have tried to ask the pertinent questions, have lost their jobs and been shoved out the door.

They do not want people questioning the system on a world-wide stage. The suppression of

information to the public is on full display. The wonderful part of wisdom is that it comes from

within, you could read all the books in the world but that will not give you the vision to connect

the dots into pictures so you can push through all the veils of deceit that have been created to

suppress the mind. The mind has been the target of those who wish to exploit humanity for their

own needs. The last thing the system wants is open minded individuals who are willing to stand

up for what they believe in. All forms of control and power are thrown out the window. The

very notion of fear no longer exists, this is what needs to happen on a mass scale. When the

masses begin to awaken from the coma of life that they have been programmed to believe they

will understand and see what is really going on.

Everyone has heard of the expression out of sight out of mind. This concept of living is

on full display. We have the mentality that if it does not effect, my bubble, then why should I

concern myself or worry about it. While I understand that it is easier to turn away from all that

is going on by living this way you have become a part of the system that wants everyone to

clxxxi
think this way. If everyone woke up one morning and asked the simple question, what can I do

today to make someone else’s life better? The world would begin to change. The ripple effect

that this would create would be massive. The effect of what this could do for humanity would

be unbelievable because I have seen what is capable by what one person can create. The beauty

of life is being able to see the beauty in everything and everyone that we come across. The

notion of being afraid of someone else for how they look, think, or act would no longer exist

because you would not be creating unnecessary barriers designed to divide us even more. How

can you possibly hate someone if you take the time to get to know them? I am not saying that

we need to be walking mats for others to step all over. This only happens because the intentions

of others are based on what they can I get out of the relationship. Everyone is deceiving one

another because we have been taught not to trust anyone. That you must guard yourself in a

way where you will not get taken advantage of. The only person that can take advantage of you

is the one that you allow to take advantage. I am not saying that everyone has the right

intentions. I have said previously that no child comes out of the womb hating another child. The

very concept of this idea does not even come to their mind because they have such an

innocence and curiosity. Hate is being taught instead of love, and this hate is creating the

bubble that most people live in. Love does not see color, ethnicity, religious belief, division or

separation these are all manmade concepts used divide not unite.

Anyone who does not live in their bubble will see everything that is going on. They will

start to see through all the cracks within the foundation of lies. For some who burst through

their bubble they may experience what is known as Kundalini. Krishna gives a deep

understanding to what kundalini is. Krishna says:

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 “A new center presently dormant in the average man and woman has to be activated

and a more powerful stream of psychic energy must rise into the head from the base of the

spine to enable human consciousness to transcendent normal limits of the present evolutionary

impulse in man. The cerebral spinal system of man has too, undergo a radical change, enabling

consciousness to transcending normal limits. This radical change enables consciousness to

reach a dimension which transcends the limits of the highest intellect. Here reason yields to

intuition. Revelation appears to guide the steps of humankind.”

While I can agree with what is said here, I do not agree with everything that Krishna

teaches. The problem with having a massive Kundalini experience as Itzhak Bentov states is:

“The psychological symptoms of the more extreme Kundalini experience tend to mimic

schizophrenia and many people are sent to mental institutions because modern medicine does

not understand what is happening. It is ironic that persons in whom the evolutionary process of

nature have begun to operate more rapidly, and who can be considered as advanced mutants of

humans are institutionalized as subnormal by their normal peers.”

This is, absolutely, real! Only those who have experienced this will understand

completely what I am talking about here. Though mainstream medicine and anyone who ever

knew you will condemn and ridicule you for being mad everyone needs to understand that this

is what will happen if you experience a massive Kundalini experience, which I and others have

experienced. It will change everything about you. You will experience life on a completely

different level. By experiencing this, understand that nothing will ever be the same as it was

before. You will go through what some call a rebirth, this is not a physical death but a spiritual

awakening. You will experience a complete transformation and you will come to understand

that there is so much more to this world than has been told. I have experienced two Kundalini

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experiences in my life in the last two years, the first one completely opened my mind to other

possibilities but the second one completely changed me forever. What I experienced after my

surgery in 2019, was one of these experiences. I had awakened to the knowing that there is

much more to what we are. What most people consider pain after my surgery was completely

minimal, I was able to manipulate the pain receptors that come from the brain that register pain.

I understood that there was a lot more to the human body and what we call life than has been

told. Unfortunately, this was followed by mass ridicule from friends and family members

because they did not understand what was going on. I was beginning to change all aspects of

my life nothing was the same anymore I had a deep appreciation for life and everyone and

everything. I began a conscious journey that I am still currently on. I am aware that many

people will not agree with what I have to say, especially not from anyone who used to know

me. I was a completely different person before all this, I was not aware of the ripple effect that I

was having with everyone who came into my life. I did not care about my thoughts or actions

because I let my emotions get the best of me when it came to dealing with certain

circumstances in my life. Now it is not to say that I maliciously went out to hurt anyone, but I

certainly did not hold back my feelings with anyone whom I could see right through. I have

always been able to read through the bullshit of most people but instead of rising higher and not

entangling with their nonsense I lowered myself purposely to entangle with them because I was

not going to let anyone tell me how to think or act. Everyone is always trying to tell everyone

else how to live instead of figuring out within themselves that they should look at their own life

before making judgement on anyone else.

The bubble that I lived in before was based on my pride and ego, and no one was going

to come between it. I would impose my will on those who I did not care for, without a single

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thought of caring what the repercussions might be or what the impact of what I just did or say

would have on anyone and everyone. I allowed my emotions and the thoughts and actions of

others to dictate my life which caused a lot of dis-ease within me. I was not aware that I was

becoming that which I could not stand to be around. This is what happens when you allow

yourself to entangle with those who want to bring you down to their level, you will become

what you are trying to avoid. I will not sit here and tell anyone that the way I lived my life for

so many years was the right way, this would be a lie. What I will not do though is conform to

the rigid ideologies that everyone seems to accept. Nobody has the right to judge anyone for

how they may think or feel. I find it humorous with so many people practicing dark occult

knowledge that nobody wants to speak about that. Oh, yes that’s right it is not proper talking

about religious beliefs, but if those religious beliefs are distorting the reality for which all of us

live in, would it not make sense to understand why so many who say they are religious live the

completely opposite way of what they preach? The amount of people worshipping false gods is

unbelievable. We have now become a society of believing in something for which they do not

even understand. Hey but it is okay if we have society believing they are worshipping an all

loving, God. All you need to do is read the so-called holy book and you will realize that there is

not much holiness within those words. I am not here to condemn anyway for what they believe

in all I am saying is maybe you should open your heart a little more and decide for yourself

what truth you want to believe in, instead of accepting a 2000, year-old ideology that has been

transformed into a form of control and power instead of freedom.

We have created a bubble within a bubble now of what we are because what we are is

someone else’s beliefs. The lack of creativity is prevalent, and most people cannot even come

up with an original thought anymore because they are quoting borrowed knowledge instead of

clxxxv
acquiring true wisdom. We have created a bubble with so many layers that we have become

unaware of everything that is going one within the space of one another. The beauty of life is to

be able to see the purpose and meaning behind everything down to the smallest detail. The

smallest detail may just be what you are looking for instead we surround ourselves with more

technology to distract us from everything in this world. This is exactly what they want and all

we need to do is see the mad dash that is created with the newest piece of technology that

comes out. It is a known fact that social media platforms are conducting psychological studies

to see the impact that these sites have on lives. Hmmm I wonder is that just a coincidence that

we now have social media platforms that allow hatred to be spread everywhere. Now if you

want to let the world know how you feel go to one of the media platforms and see all the love

that is being spread. Please this garbage was created to allow everyone to express how they feel,

and the overwhelming majority, of the masses use it to ridicule and condemn. No need to hide

your emotions anymore because you are hidden behind the technology used to transmit your

thoughts. At least now we know how everyone is really feeling.

In the last two years of my life everything has changed and when I say everything, I

mean everything. From everyone I used to know and call family and friends, from where I used

to live and how I used to live. From the way I used to let my emotions get the best of me to now

it is difficult to even make me upset. This is what happens when you awaken, what you

perceived to be such drastic things happening you almost laugh at now because you understand

the meaning of why they are happening. You no longer react but rather respond to everything.

Reacting is based on harbored emotions responding is based on a different way of thinking

which comes with a sense of knowing. You know longer let your head dictate your decisions

you allow your heart to make the choice and your mind becomes a tool that can be used to

clxxxvi
navigate through the madness. Even to this day I continue to receive ridicule for the way that I

think now, have I told you how much I care? That’s right I have, so much even that I am

writing a book knowing that I will be condemned even more. What a beautiful feeling to have,

knowing that there is nothing someone else can do to make me make conform to their way of

thinking. Please, you could not control me before what makes anyone of you think you can

control me now, especially those who wish to conceal the truth. I know exactly who you are,

and you know exactly who I am. I do not live in a bubble of fear that you are creating for

everyone, in-fact I am bursting every bubble that wants to know the truth. The only difference

is I do not impose my beliefs or try to conform anyone.

Imposing beliefs and conforming is what has been done for far too long. The bubbles

that we surround ourselves in no longer need to exist. How can you possibly experience life in a

bubble, see all there is to see and experience life the way you are supposed to if not from your

own experience. Stop living someone else’s experiences and life, live your own experiences

through life and realize the freedom that comes with being this way. The last year of my life I

have lived, more freely than I have ever lived and I have never been more at peace. Now it is

not to say that I did not have quite the tumultuous experience. I will do my best in the next

chapter to explain exactly what happened for what happened left me speechless, thoughtless,

and wordless for three months. I am still dealing with the effect of what I went through last

year, the best part is nothing has slowed me down in-fact I have only sped up. This is what

everyone who participated in what happened did not account for. They all thought I would

conform, live in fear, and never question the system again. Fuck that? That would be me

conforming to your ways and keeping my mouth shut. Everyone who came at me obviously has

no idea who I am, ask anyone who knows me now, or knew me from before, I do not bow down

clxxxvii
or bow out to anyone or anything. Now if this is a problem it is only because you are afraid of

what I might say. You should be because I am not going to stop talking about the truth.

Understand this only a coward runs from the truth. After what happened last year, most people

would stay quiet and not say a word in fear of what might happen to them. I completely

understand that my journey is not for everyone but since this is my journey, I have accepted the

invitation to join the game of life. I will continue to raise my consciousness and the more this

happens the less you can do about it. That is the beauty of what I am saying here when you

continue to raise your consciousness there is nothing anyone can do about it. The dam has been

opened and now I connect to infinite consciousness and awareness that we are all connected to.

This is the infinite source that I keep referring to, which is why I see everything as ONE! All

interconnected in every aspect and dimension that you can possibly imagine.

My experiences have led me to the point I am at today. Where I am today, I would have

never imagined but that is the beauty of life and when you start to follow the synchronicity of

life, it will lead you on a journey of unbelievable possibilities. To live this way, we must rid

ourselves of all the bubbles we live in because we are afraid of what might happen for thinking

differently. The bubbles we are creating individually are not a safety net they are only

imprisoning you in a state of mind which narrows and deadens the spirit from within. The spirit

from within wants to be free not closed and entrapped. The heart is the key to unlocking the

potential that everyone has within them. Through the heart is how you tap into the infinite

consciousness which will allow everyone to be able to free themselves from the bubble they

have created themselves. Everything in my life has led me to the point where I am at today.

Where I am today, I am supposed to be, there are no coincidences, and everything has a

meaning and reason behind it. I would not be able to write this book that I am writing if not for

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everything that has transpired so far. I am aware that certain things have happened that I did not

know would happen, but if I knew everything that was going to happen how would I learn from

my earlier experiences. Life is all about constantly growing and moving forward, not allowing

yourself to get stuck in one moment. Life is full of endless moments we cannot allow ourselves

to get stuck reliving a single moment. A single moment cannot define your life for it will only

allow you to live in the past and not in the NOW. We all need to raise our level of awareness

and consciousness beyond the realm of past and future so we can dictate our own lives instead

of allowing others to dictate them for us. We cannot continue to move forward if we are

constantly worried about tomorrow. There is no tomorrow there is only NOW, and tomorrow is

never promised to anyone. We must learn to live in the moment so we can continue striving to

accomplish everything we are supposed to. Stop allowing yourself to believe that you are so

small and that there is nothing you can do in this big world. We are all a part of the infinite

whole, but we have been led to believe that we are small and meaningless. How can infinite

beings be meaningless when we have all the capabilities of becoming anything we want? We

have only been led to believe to live in our little bubble because it closes the heart and allows

the mind to dictate all our actions. The heart is where all the answers are, and we must open

ourselves back up so we can remember who we are. We have the ability, to become a species

with limitless potential so why are we allowing the few to dictate our lives to the point where

all this potential is suppressed. We have been indoctrinated into a system that has exploited the

mind and closed the hearts of the masses. We are giving away our power by living in the

bubbles that we are creating. Seems to me that everyone has become so accustomed to living

this way that they believe this is the right way to live. Nonsense and we must stop conforming

and believing that this is the only way to live. We are feeding the system that is controlling us

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instead of cutting off the energy that is fueling them. The system has been designed to keep

everyone living in a bubble, the time has come for this bubble to burst and allow the energy that

we are to flow. By allowing the energy to flow and not creating resistance within ourselves we

can accomplish feats that people believe are impossible it is only impossible if you believe it is.

We are suppressing our abilities and allowing everyone else to dictate our lives instead of

taking responsibility.

Life is much easier when you do not have to take the responsibility for your own

actions. Blaming someone else or something else for the situation that we are in. We have

created the situation that we are in, so we can get ourselves out of it. The way we get out of this

insanity is opening the heart to infinite awareness and consciousness and becoming love. I have

heard many people talk to me about love, but they certainly do not know what love is. They

have distorted the word into four letters which has lost the importance of the meaning. The

meaning of love can only come from the heart for when one embraces love from within it bursts

all the bubbles that have been created. There is nothing more beautiful than seeing life through

the eyes of love. When you see the love in everything and everyone your world begins to

change you start to see the energy flow instead of being suppressed in the bubbles that we have

created which are limiting are potential. When we burst these bubbles and become love, we

then start to connect the dots into pictures which become what guides us in life. We allow our

intuition to guide us instead of the mind and dance with energy of life. When you can make

your life a dance then you will see the poetry in motion that flows within everything and

everyone. To say that one has enemies is to say that they are fighting themselves for we all

connected to one another and instead of entangling with each other we are supposed to flow

with one another. We can create as much peace and harmony as we want, or we can continue,

cxc
on this destructive path that finds us living in the current situation that we are in. Living in a

state of fear of one another. This is a horrible way to live, and we are creating so much low

vibrational energy living this way. Why live in a state of misery? When we can create peace

and harmony infused with balance and love which will precipitate like the rain from the clouds.

We have the ability, to create our own reality, so the choice is up to us. Do we really

want to continue down the path of destruction that we are on, or is humanity ready to get off its

knees? Humanity has been manipulated by the shadows and the time has come for the

awakening. The awakening from the coma of life is what is needed to free ourselves of the

illusion that we are living in. The illusion that we are living in has entrapped you in your bubble

and now everyone is living a false life created by a distorted truth. The truth is in the eye of the

beholder, the beholder is us and we must lift the veil of lies to get to the truth. Everyone talks

about truth so why are we living this lie. The truth is right in front of us and yet we continue to

perpetuate the lie. This is the madness that we are living in. The madness that has been created

by those who wish to keep you entrapped in a state of mind that does not allow you to access

the truth. The bombardment from every sort of technology has been created to distract you from

everything and those who are working in the shadows know exactly what they are doing. What

they are doing is distorting the energetic fields that have been created to keep us believing that

we see all there is to see. I am not sure how that is possible is we are only capable of

seeing .00005 percent of the spectrum of light which dictates what we see in the physical realm

of existence. I would have to beg to differ that we are not seeing all there is to see. Hmmm ever

wonder why that is? Well maybe it is because it is not your eyes that see but your brain that

sees and sends the signal to your eyes which allow you to see only the spectrum of light which

your eyes perceive as all there is to see. What not possible how can this be? This is the truth,

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and the truth will set you free. Those who have eyes do not even see so no reason to be alarmed

when you are told that you are not seeing all there is to see anyway. Now maybe there is a way

to bypass the programming and hypnotization that is happening in life? Funny you should ask

because there is a way to get passed this insanity and get back to sanity. I find it funny how

those who wish to condemn and ridicule those who can see as insane call themselves sane when

we live in an insane world that only allows you to see so little. If I have eyes to see in this

insane world then maybe I am sane and everyone else who is blind is insane. Wait a minute

how is that possible I have eyes too so I can see everything that is going on. Funny how you

have eyes, but you cannot even see what is right in front of you because you have trapped

yourself in a bubble that you call life and then ridicule those who do not live in your bubble.

cxcii
 CHAPTER X

THE ATTROCITY OF WAR AND THE VETERAN’S ADMINISTRATION:

“Let us see if by moderation we can win all hearts and secure a lasting victory, since by

cruelty others have been unable to escape from hatred and maintain their victory for any length

of time…. This is a new way of conquering, to strengthen one’s position by kindness and

generosity.”

Julius Caesar (100-44 B.C.

“Now the army’s disposition of force (hsing) is like water. Water’s configuration

(hsing) avoids heights and races downward …. Water configures (hsing) its flow in accord with

the terrain, the army controls in victory in accord with the enemy. Thus, the army does not

maintain any constant strategic configuration of power (shih), water has no constant shape

(hsing). One who is able to change and transform in accord with the enemy and wrest victory is

termed spiritual.”

The Art of War, Sun-Tzu, Fourth Century B.C.

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 I used these quotes to show what war means to those who believe that it justifies a

means to an end. Carl von Clausewitz called it “politics by other means and the hub of all

power and movement on which everything depends”. War justifies no means and has no end

because the true enemy is war itself. Wars have been fought everywhere and only those who

have been near a war or in a war can understand what I am saying. Wars have one purpose to

impose the will of the few on the many. When one understands the meaning behind why wars

are created then one can come to understand why they happen in the first place. Those who

create wars are never the ones that fight them. They allow their troops to do their dirty work

while they sit back in their airconditioned rooms and look from afar of what is being done. I

have seen the atrocities of war and know the impact that it causes. War deadens the very spirit

of what we are and when one engages in war one must become war itself. To disengage from

what one has gone through after war involves walking through the fire of life. Now the war is

not against anyone or anything but then becomes a war within yourself. Everything is energy

vibrating on different frequencies and when you come to understand this then you know why

wars are created.

There is no greater manipulation of energy than war distorted by fear. The appalling

nature of war itself creates so much distortion with the energy fields that we create because

everyone becomes affected by it. Wars are designed to destroy the very fabric of existence. We

must understand that wars are fought not for our rights and freedoms but for the motives of the

few. Most wars are fought for power, control, greed, and the plummeting of resources that other

countries have. If one joins the military to fight for their country based on the idea that they will

go to war than the decision of life and death needs to be made. All the lives that have been lost

and the spoils of war that are inflicted upon the innocent is an atrocity we cannot condone.

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Men, women, and children being used as pawns to distort the minds of those who engage in

such violent acts supply the fuel that is needed to create a world of terror. Fear and terror are

being generated in insurmountable means to impose the will of a few on the many. I have seen

what war has done to the men and women that fight for their country because they feel that they

are a part of something that is greater than themselves. If you survive fighting the wars that are

created by the governments that are supposed to protect us, then you get to come home to the

atrocities of a system like the Veterans Administration. I am not sure you could call this a

medical organization. We are currently in this country losing 22-26 veterans a day to suicide

and yet this seems to be only a problem to the veterans and their family. They speak about the

awareness of what is going on with veterans coming home from war, but if this was being taken

care of then why, are the numbers increasing?

Fifteen years ago, they decided that they would allow veterans with PTSD and physical

ailments to destroy themselves with pain killers and benzodiazepines. A lethal combination that

distorts the reality of anyone that is on them. They did not care about getting to the root of the

problem all they did was create a pandemic of narcotics being funneled through a medical

organization that was nothing but a bunch of drug pushers. Anything to shut the veteran up and

keep him or her in a state of madness and suffering. In the last year of my life, I have traveled a

lot in this country and seen up close and personal the devastation of what wars have caused on

the hearts and minds of veterans. Veterans are being used as a source of income to

organizations designed to help them. I have not seen much helping going on and there is a

reason for this. Understand one thing the Veterans Administration is the largest medical facility

in the country and what they are doing to veterans are literally crimes against humanity. The

constant labeling and distortion that takes place in these facilities is truly unbelievable. I have

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been to psychiatric units, PTSD facilities, and rehabilitation centers that are recycling veterans

in a way that would bring tears to the eyes of anyone who has seen what goes on. They

administer medication to numb veterans to anything and everything and to be honest with you I

have had just about enough of this bullshit. Those who want the wars to be fought have no

problem sending hundreds of thousands of troops to fight their wars based on the consumption

of greed and power and they talk about leaving no man behind. What about all the veterans that

are committing suicide daily because they cannot cope with the psychological and physical

trauma that they have endured and then realize that what they have done for their country was

done in vain. Know this we did not fight those wars for the government we fought those wars

for our brothers and sisters in arms because we realized that what we were doing was for one

another and not for the ideologies of a few who wish to impose their will on the rest of the

world. What we have is one another and there is no greater sacrifice than dying for your

brothers and sisters in arms. I have heard some of the most horrific stories from veterans all

around this country and after what I went through last year, I realized why I was being shown

so many things when it came to how veterans were being treated.

Veterans need a voice someone who is willing to stand up to the system that has been

created to feed off the energy of veterans that are constantly being distorted to live in a low

vibrational state. Anything to distort the energy fields of veterans becomes a humongous energy

source to those who understand who and what we are. Last year I wanted to give a speech on

September 11th to show this country that what was going on last year was exactly what they

wanted to happen. If you understand psychological warfare, then you will understand what I am

saying. The perfect storm was being created and the energy that was being dispersed by

veterans at this time was unparalleled to anything that I have experienced in the last forty-years.

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Veterans all over the country will feeling the impact of what was going on and it was making a

veteran hyper-vigilante. Nobody was at ease living in a state of balance and harmony because

of what was taking place on the streets. Understand this everything that was done last year was

for one single purpose to create as much negative energy that could be created to distort

everyone’s way of thinking. Last year I had a stroke, and I will describe why I even had a

stroke and what the reason was for why I wanted to give a speech on September 11th in front of

the White House. I now realize why I had the stroke, and it was because I could feel all the fear,

anger, and hatred that was being funneled at the time with all the events that had taken place to

continuously stir up the emotions of those who took to the streets to let their voice be heard

because of what was taking place to minorities on the streets. The atrocities that the police were

committing was only part of the puzzle and the pieces were starting to form so clearly of what

was going on.

What happened after I had my stroke was truly unbelievable my right side of my brain

became activated in a way that allowed me to interpret and understand things on a completely

different level. I was able to access my intuition on levels that seemed almost impossible, and I

was receiving all sorts of information about what was going on at the time. Now this may sound

farfetched but as I said earlier, I am not here to try to convince anyone of what I experienced I

am only speaking the truth of what I experienced. The truth of what happened to me last year

will be explained shortly but for now I want to discuss how I was treated after I had my stroke

and the nonsense that I had to deal with by the Veterans Administration. After I had my stroke,

I recovered extremely quickly as if something had activated in me to allow me to become

physically, emotionally, and mentally stronger than I ever had before. I was able to walk not

just a little bit but up to eight miles a day. I was strengthening my body as if I was back in my

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twenties and I was in awe of what was going on because for the last five years of my life I

could barely do anything without being in pain. When I mean pain, I mean I had been carried

out of my house on a stretcher over forty times due to the back spasms that I would have due to

the physical ailments that my body had endured from my surgery. My entire body would seize,

and I would begin to shake uncontrollable due to the pain that I was in. There were times that I

wanted to die to be honest with you because I was beginning to get to a point in my life where I

could not see any light at the end of the tunnel. I was engulfed in madness and despair.

Suffering not only physically but mentally on a level that would send me into a dark place. A

place where I had to decide whether I wanted to live or die.

What kept me moving forward was the love from my children and only the love from

my children! I do not say this to be mean to my wife that I had at the time but unfortunately, I

was not receiving that the proper help that I needed from her. I do not harbor any ill will or

anger towards anyone in my life in-fact I send them love everyday and wish them the best of

luck with all their endeavors. Understand after my first surgery that I had because of tumors

that I have in my spine completely and utterly, destroyed me form the inside out. I was not able

to work anymore, and I was physically hurting in a way that is almost indescribable. All, of my

strength was on the outside so nobody could see how much I was hurting on the inside. The

suffering that I have endured throughout my life from those who called themselves my friends

or loved ones was truly maddening I began to harbor my emotions deep within which caused so

much dis-ease within me that my suffering mentally and within myself was becoming

unbearable. In 2019, I decided that I was going to have surgery again. I wanted to be able to

have some sort of life with my children that did not revolve working around my ailments. I was

at my breaking point I was struggling to be on my feet for more than ten minutes at a time and I

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was beginning to not care to much about my life anymore. I no longer cared if I lived or died

honestly all I wanted was for the suffering and madness to end. The Veterans Administration

certainly did not care to much about what I was dealing with so when the time came to decide

whether I wanted surgery I told myself that this was it because if surgery this time was not

going to help then I was ready to no longer be a part of this world where I had endured so much

in my life. What I was feeling inside my mind was Fuuuucccckkkk! I had become fed up and

tired with all the bullshit that I was dealing with. My world had become a shell of what it was

previously, and I was at my wits end. I can speak on all this now because I have moved on from

my past, I live in the moment in the NOW which has allowed me to free myself of all the

burdens I carried. I had not awakened to what the human body was and who and what we are. I

was about to have a crash course on all this very shortly.

Every veteran needs to understand that we can overcome everything and anything.

Every-last one of us has the warrior spirit within us. Otherwise, we would have never joined the

military. There is a reason the majority do not join the military and why some veterans may

even consider joining the military as a calling. I can remember when I was in the fifth grade

watching the troops go to Iraq for Operation Desert Storm something inside of me told me that

one day I would be over there. I did not know at the time why I knew this, but I felt it deep

within myself. Now a lot of things had to happen for me to get there but as I knew then I would

be there someday. I can look back at my life and see how so many events led me to joining the

military, serving this country, having the surgeries, and stroke that I have had which has led me

to this moment in my life where I am currently at. Everyone needs to know that there are no

coincidences everything has a meaning and purpose. We must become aware and raise our

consciousness to a level where we can access our intuition and follow our heart instead of the

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mind. The mind is only supposed to be used as a tool for the heart and when the heart-mind are

one they can work hand in hand with one another instead of constantly fighting each other.

After my surgery in 2019, I has my first Kundalini experience where I was going to be shown

what the real meaning of love was, now everyone needs to understand I have always been a

loving person, I was also someone who did not put up with anyone’s bullshit and if you were a

man, I would unleash my fury and anger on anyone who would piss me off. I speak like this

now to describe who I was not who I am today. Everyone needs to know who I was so they can

understand the transformation that I went through to become who I am today. What we have

been told is a lie, we have been told nothing but lies to keep us in state where we are constantly

generating low vibrational energy. I understand this now and know that I was a massive energy

source to those who are manipulating things behind the scenes. It takes one to experience the

truth to know what the truth is and to understand the level of manipulation and deceit that is on

display.

After my surgery in 2019 I woke up feeling completely different. I knew that something

had happened. I had, had an out of body experience which allowed me to see myself in a

different light. What I believed to be true was certainly not the case. I was no longer harboring

anymore emotions from within and my body after surgery began to feel so much better. I

recovered extremely quickly after my surgery, and I was able to walk in a way that I had not

been able to do in a long time. I was staying with the family of an old high school friend at the

time because I did not want to be a burden to my family. I find it amazing that I would rather

stay with someone whom I did not know that well except through phone conversations that I

had with them. I felt more comfortable with them than I did with my own family. I also know

now why I stayed with them. I flew back home ten days after my surgery and the first night I

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was back I had an amazing dream. As far fetched as this may seem what I now know that

happened is I received a download in my dream. Everyone needs to understand that we are

receivers and transmitters able to access information form beyond the physical realm of

existence. In my dream I was taken to what I call the infinite source for what I felt can only be

described as the most amazingly beautiful feeling imaginable. There was no fear or hatred,

despair or sadness. Only a feeling of insurmountable love flowing within me and encapsulating

everything. There was no time or space only love and what I describe here is not human love,

we have distorted the concept of love which has distorted the reality that we live in. I do not use

the word God religions have destroyed the meaning of the word and have inverted God into

something that we are supposed to fear. What a bunch of crap, what we are is infinite

awareness and consciousness infused with love which allows everyone and anyone to access

information from the unseen. This is what all of us are capable of if we would just open our

hearts and allow love to flow within. This is what those who wish to control us from the unseen

and seen do not want you to know. There are no messiahs and saviors for what we are is all

there is. We have been led to believe that there are only chosen ones who are capable of being

this way this is the farthest thing form the truth and when we all awaken and remember who we

are we will bring down the illusion of lies, fear, and hatred that have distorted this world for far

to long. We are not droplets of water disconnected from the ocean we are the fucking ocean,

and we have the capability of being so much more. We have been led to believe that we are

small when we are the complete opposite. Everything has been inverted and created to keep us

in a state of separation and division living a life filled with polarities, there are no polarities

there is only ONENESS.

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 I speak to all veterans in the world not just the ones in this country understand that you

are being used as an energy source to further the agenda of the few. The time is NOW to take

back your power and not allow yourselves to be used by a system that does not care about you.

We must move pass the notion that we cannot overcome PTSD and that we are only labels for

the system to identify us with. We are so much more, and I know that each and everyone of you

have the capability if unleashing the lion from within so you can take back control of your lives

and begin to live the life that you were chosen for. We are here to advance humanity in the

awakening process if you want to fight, then we must learn to fight peacefully with love in our

heart. Then we can watch the transformation take place not only within ourselves but with

everyone and everything around us.

“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift. The rational mind is a faithful servant. We have

created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.”

Albert Einstein

Know that this is exactly what those who wish to impose their system on us do not

want, they do not want us to be able to overcome our so-called psychological ailments or

physical problems. We are to much of an energy source for them which is being used to further

their agenda. If the time has ever come to fight for freedom the time is NOW but we cannot

fight with the same consciousness that created the problem we have to raise ourselves above

those who wish to keep us in this state. We have the capability of doing this and I know plenty

of veterans who have awakened to the idea. We are nothing but pawns to the individuals who

have created the wars that we have fought in, which established a medical system to keep us in

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a state of not knowing who or what we are. They are terrified of us coming together otherwise

they would not have come at me the way they did last year. They made sure that I did not give

my speech in front of the White House where I was going to address the President and Vice

President of the United States, the members of Congress and Senate, and every single fucking

governor and mayor that has failed us. They know exactly what they are doing, and the time

has come to take a stand and fight for the rights of every man woman and child. I will not abide

to the norms for which they try to impose. I do not believe in violence so what I am proposing

here is a stand of nonviolence and nonconformity, we are allowing a few to dictate to the many.

They know they are nothing compared to what we are, they need to keep us in a docile and

slumbered state funneled by the medicine that they are prescribing to all of you.

After I was told to go back to my country by the Veterans Administration, I told myself

that this bullshit that is going on needs to stop. How much more of this do you think we should

take? I know a lot of people do not like to voice their opinion or fight for what they know to be

right. What I am talking about hear is non-violence. Violence only begets more violence but an

injustice to one is an injustice to all. I have no problem letting my voice be heard and I could

care less of the ridicule and condemnation that may come with what I have to say. I do not live

in a state of fear and because I am fearless there is nothing anyone or anything can do to stop

me from talking or writing. I will continue doing what I said I would do. I told the Veterans

Administration that I am going to expose them for what they are and what they are is an

atrocity. Now let me make this clear, I do not have a problem with everyone in the Veterans

Administration in-fact a lot of the people that work within this organization know the uphill

battle they are in trying to fight a system that is broken. The system needs to be fixed from the

inside out. Not from the outside in, and it starts with every veteran not conforming to their way

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of thinking. I have heard so many horror stories when it comes to veterans and the abuse they

have endured at the hands of this Administration. Everything is compartmentalized to only

irritate you to the point where you give up trying to fight the system. There is a reason for this,

they do not want you to see through all the cracks in the foundation that are seeping through.

They have created a system that does not help every veteran that walks through their doors. In-

fact I know many veterans who refuse to use the system because they are so fed up and tired

with trying to navigate through the maze that they have purposely created to deter you from

getting benefits that you are owed or the proper healthcare all of you should receive. One of the

major problems with the Veterans Administration is they do not put themselves in the shoes of

the veteran the lack of compassion and empathy that is funneled through the system is designed

to have the veteran more distraught when he leaves the facility then when he arrived.

I have heard countless veterans tell me that they have so much anxiety going to their

because they know they are not going to get the help that they need. The seed has already been

planted so deep and everyone knows that they have too, prepare themselves psychologically

just to go there. Now what kind of bullshit is this why should any form of treatment cause more

suffering? Maybe because it is designed to do just that. Most people if they do not care for the

treatment that they are getting go do a different doctor, this is certainly not the case within this

organization in-fact most of the good doctors do not even stay around long enough because of

the bureaucratic nonsense that they have to go through to get a veteran some help. How can

anyone want to work for a system that is not designed to help. Oh, wait a minute that is what is

going on all over the place. They continuously refuse to acknowledge what they are doing.

What makes anyone believe that they would acknowledge what they are doing to veterans.

“I do not ask the wounded person how he feels I myself become the wounded person.”

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 Walt Whitman

Now imagine if this concept was being done throughout the entire Veterans

Administration, I promise you it is not. This leads me to a perfect example of the nonsense that

is being done. Now in 2019 I needed to have another surgery. I went to the Veterans

Administration and had the pain doctor that I was seeing a genuinely nice lady named Dr.

Virginia Hardee, I would have to say out of all the doctors I have seen in this organization she

was certainly my favorite. I could tell that she genuinely cared for every veteran that she saw.

After she put the consult in to allow me to see a neurosurgeon outside the Veterans

Administration I went and saw a neurosurgeon that wanted to perform a complete spinal fusion

of my spine. I looked at him like he was crazy. I also saw that he did not see a patient in need

he saw money. What a disgusting example of what has happened to the medical industry in this

country. Everything revolves around money and money is all he saw when he looked at me. He

sent his findings back to the Veterans Administration and after consulting with Dr. Virginia

Hardee she and I both agreed that this was not a surgery that I needed. Now mind you that the

Veterans Administration had no problem paying for this surgery. I wanted a second opinion,

and I was then told that the Veterans Administration did not authorize second opinions. What a

fucking joke, the largest medical facility in the country does not authorize second opinions. I

was now starting to see the cracks in the foundation of a system that is not designed to help

you. My pain doctor told me that if I wanted a second opinion, I would have to go through my

own insurance for that to happen. I said that I would, I then contacted the Orthopedic Surgeon

who worked out of Baltimore that was referred to me by a dear friend Mr. Weckbaugh.

I find it amazing that this is what happens when you fight a system that is not designed

to help you. You will have to go around them to get what you want done at your own expense.

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Even though I am a 100 percent disabled through the Marine Corps you would never think it

now. Everyone now forgets that I even had two spinal cord surgeries and a stroke because of all

that I can do now. I also do not seek the sympathy and pity of others, so they do not feel there is

a need to remind me of what I have been through. I have been able to shut off the connections

of pain that come from the brain because I have come to understand just how powerful the

human brain is. Every veteran needs to understand this. What we can do with are brain to

manipulate pain is not impossible. What I speak of comes from the very notion that this is

exactly what I have done so pain no longer runs my life. My mental suffering is no longer there

because I have been able to let the past go and live in the moment in the NOW! By living in the

NOW, this has allowed me to overcome all obstacles that have been laid in front of me. I assure

you that I am still dealing with obstacles at this current time due to what happened to me after I

had my massive Kundalini experience last year after my stroke. Raising my consciousness and

awareness has allowed me to get to this point in my life now. I know that everything I have

been through in my life has led me to this moment. I would not trade my life for anyone else’s

because my experiences have allowed me to evolve into what I am today. I, no longer react, I

respond! By being able to respond with what I must deal with I realize that I know longer need

to raise my voice only my words. By raising my words, I am able, to get my point across to

anyone and everyone. I see no division or separation and I certainly do not see color and the

very notion of racism is ridiculous when you can grasp the concept that we are all energy which

makes us all the same regardless of what your eyes may perceive.

I am going to discuss now what happened to me after I had my second surgery to give

you an understanding of how much the medical profession does not know everything there is to

know when it comes to the brain or body. Everything they know is taught to them by a system

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that allows them only to know what they want them to be taught. Let us not think outside the

box now, oh no we cannot have that because it will only cause the medical profession to have

to re-evaluate what they have been taught. What they have been taught while it serves its

purpose at times does not understand what the human body is so therefore does not diagnose

most problems that are causing dis-ease within a patient. Case in point after I had my surgery

and received the download that I had when I arrived back home. I woke up only talking about

love and I mean I was really talking about love as if I knew that the only truth in this world was

that everything is love. When I say everything, I mean everything. Unfortunately, we do not

live in a world based on love so when someone starts saying that everything is love well now

you are completely mad and crazy. I was about to go through nine months of suffering that did

not compare to any kind of suffering that I had ever experienced.

“If you come across any special trait of meanness or stupidity you must be careful not

to let it annoy or distress you, but to look upon it merely as an addition to your knowledge a

new fact to be considered in studying the character of humanity. Your attitude towards it will

be that of the mineralogist who stumbles upon a very characteristic specimen of a mineral.”

Arthur Schopenhauer

Now because I was speaking about love in the way that I was everyone who ever knew

me thought I has gone mad. I must laugh at all this now because the sadness of all this is the

fact that humanity is completely and utterly terrified of love. Maybe it is because we have been

manipulated and programmed to believe in everything but love. Now wouldn’t you know since

everyone thought I was mad even those who considered themselves to be religious people

thought I had gone crazy, my goodness you read all those so-called Holy books and yet when

someone who has never read those books talks about love the way that I do I am insane. What

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the hell are you learning in those books? Oh, that’s right everything but the actual concept of

love. Now I was then told by my friends and family that I was bi-polar and of course the

Veterans Administration agreed. Now I knew that I was not but just to satisfy the need of

everyone I decided I would take the medication that they prescribed for me. What a bad idea

that was, for I then went into a state of depression where I could not believe what has just

happened. It was as if someone has just turned off the lights within me and I was in a state of

utter despair. I have suffered plenty in my life but what I went through for nine months in 2019,

was excruciating. I could not even hold a conversation, I could not speak or play with my

children, all I could do was sit there like a zombie not even knowing what was going on. As I

sat there and suffered everyone continued to tell me that just let the medicine work, it will take

time, everything will get better. Nothing got better in-fact I only continued to spiral down; I

was lost. I could barely look at my wife anymore because she just watched her husband suffer

for the last four years and as soon as I felt better and start talking about love you say that I am

crazy. The pain that I felt from within was incomprehensible it felt like my heart was broken

and all I could do was sit there and suffer. I started sleeping in my daughter’s room because it

was the only place that I felt love. My daughter took pictures of me sweating profusely from the

poison that was in my body killing the very spirit that was dying to come out. In all honesty I

wanted to die, I could not believe what has just happened. I never left my home, I could not

speak, I was trapped inside my mind, I was dead within and therefore was dead without. I had

never suffered more in my entire life, and I could not understand how anyone could watch

someone suffer the way I did. After six months on the medication, I finally looked at my wife

and I said I was done! I told my doctor at the Veterans Administration that I was done and that I

would never take that medication again. It took three months for me to start feeling normal

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again the withdraws that I had from the medication were terrible but once it had completely

gotten out of my system, I was able to start living my life again. I knew then that nothing was

ever going to be the same with me and my wife at the time. I was having a tough time coming

to grips that she could just watch me suffer in a way that is incomprehensible. My heart was

hurting and all I could do was be with my children. My children have always been the ones to

always pull me out of the dark, their love is so pure and innocent they give it freely and all they

wanted was their daddy back. There are no words to describe what my children mean to me.

Their love is what saved me and for that I will be eternally grateful.

Please understand that just because you see the world different, or you have an

experience that nobody seems to understand does not make you crazy. I am aware now of what

happened, everything happens for a reason. I now know why I went through that experience,

and I will explain why in the next chapter. For now, I want to send my love to all the veterans

in this country know that what all of you have sacrificed was not in vain. Understand that we

are so much more than labels. I have heard your stories and know that you’re in pain and

suffering. Understand that the time to come together is NOW. We can no longer allow what is

happening to continue. I will do my part in uniting us, so all, of your voices are heard. I have

spoken to so many veterans in the last year and I promise that your voice will be heard. If there

is a veteran who wants to share his story, please contact me. All my information will be

available at the end of this book. I will be writing another book based on the stories that I have

heard from over four hundred veterans that I have spoken to in the last year. Understand that

what you have sacrificed was not in vain and I am honored to be able to share the stories of the

veterans that I have spoken to so far. I know that it is hard to let go of the past but understand

that we are to learn from the past and continue to grow. Stop feeding the system that has turned

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its back on you, they do not care about what you have sacrificed but understand that there are

people who do care. I have felt your pain and I know why you suffer. This, is why, we must

come together to show unity regardless of where you are from or the color of your skin. We are

all brothers and sisters for we have spilled the same blood in the same mud. The time has come

to rescue are fallen comrades and make sure that no one is left behind. We must rid ourselves of

the burdens we carry and free ourselves from the prison we are in.

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 CHAPTER XI:

ENERGY FLOWS WHERE ATTENTION GOES:

“The greatest art is to attain a balance, a balance between all opposites, a balance

between all polarities. Imbalance is disease balance is health. Imbalance is neurosis, and

balance is well-being.”

The Mystic Osho

When it comes to energy, mastering the balance and flow is the greatest art. Understand

what you identify with there will be an opposite. With energy the same concept is in play. Your

state of being is based on the balancing of energies from within. When negative energy is

flowing through your body you will feel the overwhelming affect. We must learn how to

transform this energy into a form used to empower us not deplete us. We have too many taking

the energy from one another instead of spreading the energy in the right way to have an impact

on not just yourself but with everyone and everything. Everything is energy, everything flows

with everything else. Now we have a problem on our hands because energy is being funneled in

a way to distort our reality because we have not awakened to the illusion that it us who is

distorting everything. The few are creating the problem but the many are feeding there never-

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ending agenda of control and our not even aware that they are being used. We must be able to

balance the energy within ourselves because we are fueling the system which has been created

to keep us distorted. We have allowed those to manipulate the energy that we are creating to

control us even further. Only those who have awakened understand this concept and are aware

that everything they do has a ripple effect. The ripple effect of negativity has become massive.

Now the masses have entangled themselves in the spider’s web of lies that are being spread.

We need to come to an understanding that we are energy. Everything we think, say, and

do creates and electromagnetic energy field. Just, because you cannot see it with your limited

vision does not mean that it does not exist. Only those with expanded levels of consciousness

and awareness can see the energy that I am talking about. Now there are plenty of people who

can feel energy and almost everyone has heard the expression good vibes and bad vibes. Most

notable and often is when someone comes into a room or situation and right away you can feel

their vibe. The expression I can feel your vibes comes from a knowing that something changed

when someone not vibrating on your level has come into your energy field. This is because of

the ripple effect that we cause everywhere we go. Those who are sensitive enough are aware

instantly when someone is putting out negative vibrations. This is where we must be careful

with what we allow within our energy field because high and low frequencies of energy cannot

coexist on the same plane. One must either lower him or herself to entangle with the energy that

is being emitted or raise their vibrational energy field to avoid what that person is emitting.

Never lower yourself for anyone, this is how energy gets distorted the more people that distort

energy, the more difficult it is to raise your vibrations. Understand that most people do not even

know what they are doing and those who are aware of what they are doing understand what

they are causing. They are causing a chain reaction of negative emotions and as the saying goes

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misery loves company. This is an absolute truth. I find it amazing how so many people do not

like to be around happy people as if something is wrong with that person for being happy. If

happiness was pushed as an emotion that everyone strived for, then everyone would be

vibrating to higher emotions and raising their level of awareness and consciousness because of

how it would make them feel.

Flowing with the energy of the Universe is the key to life. We are creating friction

within ourselves, constantly building barriers which suppress our energy fields and keep us in

low vibrational states. The problem is not outside of us but within all of us. If we can master the

elements within ourselves then we can create a world around us that does not enhance chaos

and destruction. The flowering from within must grow so it can spread everywhere and that is

the blossoming that can create balance and harmony. Balance and harmony can only come from

what we do within our-selves. The energy from within us is where the real magic happens, this

will cause a transformation where you will no longer suppress energy but release it. Energy

does not want to be trapped in the confines of your mind it wants to be released from the

expansion of your heart. The more your heart expands the more energy is released which is the

blossoming of the spirit that lives within all of us. When one can flow with the energy of life,

life then begins to blossom. Everything begins to balance itself out because you have found the

balance that you need to not overexert yourself and waste your energy on things that do not

define who you are. When you define yourself with all the labels that have been created to

distort your energy you no longer focus your attention where energy can be used properly.

Understand that energy is everywhere and in everything, it is what we do with this energy that

will define our existence. Our we going to continue to allow the energy that can be used to

create a paradise truly distort everything where we live in a world full of misery. I know all

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about misery and suffering and I was consumed by the thoughts in my mind. My mind had

become the master of my existence. My existence was not in balance, I was creating dis-ease

within myself. Living in the past and worried about the future, I had not realized that what I do

NOW is all that exists. The illusion of time which we entrap ourselves in distorts the flow of

energy because we are not focused on the present. The present is what exists, we need to

balance our energy fields now so we can focus our attention on the matters at hand. We focus to

much on the past and future which does not allow us to focus our attention on the present. The

present is where everything is happening and until humanity awakens to this concept, we will

continue to distort our energy fields and feed the system of control that is designed to keep us in

a state of fear.

Fear is the greatest form of negativity energy that exists. Fear is a virus, all in-itself.

Fear distorts the reality of our lives. We can no longer continue to perpetuate the notion of fear

which is used against us to live in a state of imbalance. How can you balance anything with fear

in your heart? We must transform fear into fearlessness only then can we find the balance to

strengthen our resolve to overcome all things. Fear leads to hatred, hatred leads to despair,

despair leads to misery, misery leads to suffering, suffering leads to anguish, anguish leads to

every anxiety known to man and anxiety leads to depression. Even after all these emotions you

are still left with fear. When fear is in the heart the blossoming of the flower within cannot

begin to grow because the energy needed to fuel the growth is suppressed by all your fear. One

cannot have the courage to be fearless without love, love is the only energy source capable of

extinguishing fear. Love is the absence of fear and that is the beauty of love for there is no

greater strength in the Universe than love. Only those who live in fear run from love. For love

will expose your roots, the roots that our buried deep within which cannot flow with the energy

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of fear. We must transform our way of living by not thinking through the mind but by knowing

through the heart. Know that love through the mind is an act, love through the heart is a state of

being. There is a significant difference for one cannot do love one can only be love, this is what

needs to be differentiated the mind has completely distorted the energy of love because the

heart has closed. The mind speaks and sees in terms of separation, dualities and polarities so

when love comes from the mind it has become distorted for energy cannot flow through the

mind it flows through the heart which feeds the mind. When energy flows from the heart it

works with the mind because the heart does not see separation it sees oneness, everything

interconnected with everything else. When everything is working in unison with each other

instead of against one another then we can transform our lives. Then energy begins to work

with us and not against us. We have enough division and separation in this world we do not

need to create anymore within ourselves.

I have lived on both sides of the spectrum because I had not awakened to the truth that

was within me. I was asleep in a coma of suppressed energy swaying back and forth with all the

emotions that I harbored within. This was a destructive way to live, I distorted my energy and

anyone else’s who would come in my way. I have never been particularly good at acquiescing

to the norms of anything, especially in the military. Probably because I saw through all the

bullshit that the military peddles. I have seen so called leaders in the military distort the truth to

further their agenda and I seemed to always question everything. On top of that I would not

allow anyone to disrespect me regardless of rank. I suppose I did not fall for the brainwashing

regiment of yes sir to everything and do not question what I say. In-fact I questioned everything

and because I did, I spent a lot of time speaking to my Commanding Officer. I always had to

laugh when I saw him, all he would say is really Hamlin why can you not get in line with

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everyone else. I told him because they were idiots and morons playing a power game and I can

read through all their bullshit. Now just think for a moment how much energy I used fighting

the system. Before my awakening I may have been one of the most stubborn people on this

planet. Well, it was because I saw through the charade of lies and someone like me in the

military is a problem because when people see someone doing something different and not

abiding to the norms they then wonder why? A question then pops into their head like maybe

Hamlin has a point and that was the last thing they wanted. This, is why, when you become

aware of who you are and what you are capable of a choice needs to be made to either bring

people together or divided them even more. I have always been able to do either or. I know now

that I am about unity not separation a oneness that can only be experienced when you awaken

to the coma of what life is. When you have awakened you begin to flow with the energy of the

Universe instead of fighting with it. We can come together as ONE or we can remain divided

and surrender our power to those who wish to control us. As I said earlier, I do not bow down

or surrender to anyone because I understand that this is exactly what they want. I do not care

about the ridicule and condemnation that may come with what I have to say. Most people could

not understand me before I was awakened so they are certainly not going to understand me

now. Ahh, what a liberating feeling to flow with energy of existence instead of fighting with it

at every turn. Why fight when you can create a balance and flow within yourself that has a

ripple effect that can be seen and felt. The truth of existence begins with the flowing of energy

that comes from within, everyone is looking outside themselves for the answers or thinking

they will get what they need from a book. While books our wonderful and our certainly a better

way to use your energy then other manufactured creations especially in the technological world

that we live in, they will not give you the answers that you are looking for. This will have to

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come from experience and an understanding that who we are can not be taught. Who we are

needs to be shown and experienced, while books are great and can give you a reference point or

help guide you, they will not show you the truth! The truth can only come from within which

gives you a knowing, for books are only borrowed knowledge, we cannot believe everything

that has been written in books for we cannot not even except our own history why would we

believe what has been written in books especially since, the majority, of books that have been

written have been used to suppress the mind not open it.

We are taught so many things when we come into this world except who we are and

where we come from. Those who have awakened to the truth are aware of the situation that we

are in. They know energy is being converted to distort the reality that we live in. If we can

come to the realization that we are receivers and transmitters and that which we transmit is

energy that is being created by everything that we do. When I say everything, I mean

everything. Stop succumbing to the belief that we are not capable of changing our reality. We

are very much capable of doing that and this is what those who wish to continue to control us

fear the most. Fear cannot cope when humanity awakens to the truth that we can create a world

that everyone would be proud to live in. Everyone needs to partake in the awakening for what

we do now will shape the lives of many. Every child on this planet deserves a chance to live in

a world where there is no black or white, separation, hatred because of the color of one’s skin,

the idea of racism is insanity and we have perpetuated this dis-ease of hatred for long enough.

How can you possibly have hatred for something that you are a part of? We are all made of the

same stuff and there is no difference, you only associate with color because of the limited

spectrum of light that you can see with your eyes. Stop thinking that is all there is to see!

WAKE UP! Please awaken from the coma you are in which is distorting the truth because we

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are living a lie. A lie that has been told for far too long and we have the ability, to destroy the

lie so the truth can be seen.

I know what I am saying is farfetched, almost as farfetched that the majority believes

that God is a being in the clouds that is condemning those who do not do His bidding. Hmmm

interesting but that is utter nonsense and if you can believe that garbage than understanding the

concept that I am laying out here should not be that far-fetched. I am not here to condemn what

anyone of you believe or convert you into a way of thinking that is not of your own

understanding, all I am saying is what you are believing is a falsehood of beliefs perpetuated by

the few to control the many. We need to become aware that the very notion of the so-called

holy books, have been created as a control tactic to suppress the human brain into not thinking

for itself. Those who understand how to manipulate and program the mind know exactly what

they are doing to the masses. What better way to control eight billion people than to tell them

that if you do not conform to what their God says, you will be condemned to fires of hell. Now

I find it difficult to believe that everyone is just buying this and has no problem believing in it.

Also why is it when someone comes along and says umm, I think what you are saying is wrong,

they are condemned and ridiculed? Seems to me religions are more political than a state of

being religious. Maybe it is because most people have no understanding what religiousness

even is, if everyone was in a state of religiousness then why all the wars and constant fighting.

Why has God become something to fear, seems to me we are worshipping something that is all

about control and power and if God is almighty and powerful than why create a world filled

with suffering and pain. Where children are starving to death, and the atrocities that are being

committed to children everywhere are continuously going on. Seems to me something is wrong

here, maybe it is because we are giving away are ability to something that does not exist in the

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realm that you think it does. If you want to worship something worship love and why is

everyone waiting around for some messiah or savior to come down from the so-called heavens

and save us from our-selves. Would it not make sense to save our-selves instead of waiting for

someone to come and save everyone?

Have we really come to the belief that there is only one begotten son of God? Well, I

am sorry, I am having some trouble understanding this concept because that sounds to me like a

selfish God who would send his only begotten son to be crucified for our sins. This is insanity

and madness, and everyone is believing the greatest lie ever told. This lie has created an energy

field of chaos and destruction with the 3,000 wars that have been fought in 5,000 years. I am

wondering where all that religiousness went to from all the so-called religions that have been

created if everyone is worshipping something that is supposed to be bringing them salvation. If

salvation is what you seek it is only because you do not understand life. If death is what you

fear it is only because you have never been reborn. To be reborn you are going to have to

transform the energy from within to become love. If everything is energy vibrating on different

frequencies, then why are we allowing anyone to distort our energy and create an

electromagnetic field of chaos. We must rise above the madness to create the even balance and

flow of energy that is being transmitted from everyone. Existence has been divided into an

either-or-situation. The fact is existence has no duality. It is energy flowing from one end to

another. Understand the moment you identify with something we create an opposite, a polarity,

white and black good and evil, the mind does not live in the middle because it has become

identified with one or the other. If we can balance both ends of the spectrum with a constant

flow of energy from one side to the other than everything becomes ONE. The division that is

being created begins with the division within ourselves we are causing the separation within

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this world because we have not figure how to bring both ends of spectrum together. We are

either fighting to much on one end or the other. There is no cohesion or unity existing from

within, so how, can we create a world that we want if we cannot fix what is wrong with our-

selves. As much as we can discuss how things have been manipulated from the unseen, we all

have too, take responsibility for what is going on. We perpetuated the problem by allowing the

division within ourselves to grow and fester into a world that is just as divided as we are. The

world is divided because we are divided and when we can transform the division within

ourselves then we can create a world where there is no division but an interconnectedness

within everything and everyone because we are all aspects of one another. We are all a part of

the same collective consciousness and if we can awaken to this idea then we can change this

world by changing ourselves. The time has come for the energy from within to awaken our true

nature of who and what we are. We need to understand that everything is designed to distort our

energy field to keep us in a state of separateness, for when we are divided, we fall, when we

come together, we rise. The time to rise is NOW! There can be no more hesitation or living in a

distorted state of fear. We need to re-establish the energy connection that will allow all of us to

flow with one another. We need to focus our energy so we can transform ourselves, which will

establish more of a We state of being instead of a Me state of being.

Who we are is a way of being and since everyone is wearing a mask, we are pretending

to be in a state that we are not living in! We cannot pretend to be in a state of balance without

causing chaos and destruction. Being is a completely different state because being in a state of

balance, peace, harmony, and love. To balance the energy of the Universe consciousness and

awareness is the key to happiness but one cannot attain happiness unless one is willing to

sacrifice the ego and let go of all the inner desires that lead to our misery. From experience I

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know what the ego can cause within the self. The ego is not the true self but the false self which

needs to be constantly fed to sustain the ego. Before my awakening my ego was massive and it

caused me to create an energy field of distorted truths. Not being able to flow with the current

of my own existence kept me in a state of imbalance which caused more dis-ease. We all need

to understand that everything is designed to keep us in a state of imbalance when we live in this

sort of state, we create barriers within ourselves which suppresses the flow of energy in what is

called our meridian lines.

Can it really be that we have a network of pathways that transport energy throughout

our body? Is this microscopic pipeline responsible for our physical, emotional, and spiritual

well-being? And can we really correct imbalances in our bodies using herbs as well as

stimulating points with needles that coincide with these pathways? Ancient cultures believed in

these pathways and did indeed fix imbalances by adjusting the amount of energy that flows

through these energy pipelines within the body. The ancient Siamese (Thai) culture called them

‘sen’ lines. The ancient yogis who established Ayurvedic medicine referred to these energy

pathways as ‘nadis.’ And traditional Japanese, Tibetan, and Chinese physicians called them

‘channels’ or ‘vessels.’ Traditional Chinese medicine (TCM) practitioners also referred to them

as what can be translated as the now-popular term ‘meridians.’ It’s likely every ancient society

that developed their unique healing philosophy had a term synonymous with ‘meridian.’

A basic TCM definition of the meridians of the body is that they are a network of

“energy channels”. You’ve probably seen an anatomical chart of meridian points in an

acupuncturist’s treatment room, or other type of healer. When you look at this chart, it appears

that these meridian lines are superficial, appearing just below the skin. Meridians can go much

deeper than skin surface, as we’ll come back to in a bit. Meridian lines are thought to connect

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the surface of the body with the internal organs. Qi (energy) can flow through these energy

channels in the Goldilocks zone (not too little and not too much), disease can be averted. Every

organ and major region in the body needs energy to function. Energy comes from the nutrients

we eat from food, and from free-flowing blood. There are six pairs of meridians (12 total major

meridians), each affecting a corresponding Yin/Yang organ.

Long before Benjamin Franklin experimented with electricity (his kite flying

experiment is probably more myth than reality; he would have likely died from electrocution),

ancient Chinese physicians knew that the human body contains charged particles. Even 2,000

years ago, Chinese medicine doctors likely knew that the body’s vessels could store and

produce electrical charges to provide electricity. They may have not been familiar with ‘ATP’

or Adenosine Triphosphate, which is what glucose (blood sugar) breaks down into to provide

us with energy. However, it seems they were aware of the full physiological workings of

nerves, capillaries, blood vessels, arteries, and veins.

As doctor of veterinary medicine, Narda Robinson, points out in Veterinary Practice

News, acupuncturists in ancient China were using meridians to activate what modern-day

researchers would use to generate nerve or neuronal function. Robinson states, “These neural

centers process the incoming signals and adjust endogenous regulation that results in improved

circulation and organ function, analgesia, muscle relaxation, and normalized immune function,

among other effects.” Just like the acupuncturists of many centuries ago, a modern medical

acupuncturist studies the nerve connections and “selects sites according to the desired neuro-

modulatory outcomes,” says Robinson, adding, “Medical researchers and physiologists are now

in agreement that the peripheral and central nervous systems constitute the most rational basis

for defining meridians.”

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 Research from China published in the Journal of Electron Spectroscopy and Related

Phenomena, concluded acupuncture points have a higher density of micro-vessels. In addition,

they also have a large amount of involuted microvascular structures. The non-acupuncture

points did not show these properties. In the study the researchers observed specific acupuncture

points. These points reveal microvascular densities with two branches existing around thick

blood vessels. These points contain fine structures with more blood vessels that are significantly

larger in size. The researchers also found that meridian (acupuncture) points possess a higher

density of vascularization of vessels. Modern research has provided significant proof that

acupuncture meridians are visceral. In fact, this research employs several techniques, including

MRI (magnetic resonance imaging), infrared imaging, LCD thermal photography, ultrasound

and other CT imaging methods. Other studies, such as the one published in Bio

electromagnetics, define meridian lines as “special conduits for electrical signals.”

Could it be that modern science has recently confirmed what the ancients knew all

along? The balance and flow of energy being regulated through the body is key to

understanding how everything is interconnected within us. What we are is a small version of

the whole. Everyone needs to see how everything is connected to the whole. We are just a

smaller version of the entire Universe. When you can reach to a certain level of consciousness

vibrating on higher frequencies you will begin to see the flow of the Universe on the inside and

outside of you. This is what we are we are just a smaller version of that. To say that we are not

connected is to separate and divide the very essence of what we are. Energy is in constant flow

and in contact with everything. If we can come together and create a larger impact with our

directed focus on creating a world of balance and harmony, then we will begin to see the

change not only within ourselves but within the world that we live in. Energy is being

ccxxiii
manipulated to distort the truth, to create a constant barrier within yourself and everyone else.

Living this way creates the friction needed to distort the reality that we live in. The reality that

we live has been created to limit our capabilities, not enhance them and by living in a state of

limited consciousness and awareness we are feeding the system designed to keep us in a low

energetic state. With everything designed to distract us and keep is in a constant state of fear we

are creating a reality based on false truths being dictated by the few to keep us in a controlled

state. Why does their need to be so much control if our natural state is to be in balance, which

promotes health and well-being? Instead, we continue to live in a state of imbalance which

creates the dis-ease within us? Imbalance is creating the state of neurosis for which we live in!

The totality of the Universe can be seen in its totality with an understanding of how

everything works within the spaces that we believe to be separate from the whole. The only

thing separate is your mind because the mind has become the master of your existence. We

have created a world based on the false ideologies that we are not a part of the whole but

separate from it. This is where the problem starts, for one cannot be part of something greater if

one believes they are separate from everything else. Consciousness is the key to understanding

how all the parts that look separate from the limited vision of the human eye is all

interconnected. We have become a shell of ourselves by continuing to allow the division within

us to divide all of us. We need to reconnect to the energy source from within, and when this

happens the transformation that is needed will begin to express itself in a way that seems almost

unimaginable. One cannot become awake if one does not know they are asleep. Those that are

asleep do not even know what it means to be awake because to them they do not know the

difference. The awakened need to show the difference between the two. Not by talking about

but by living it. Everyone wants to talk, the time for talking is over the time for doing and

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changing is upon us now. There is no tomorrow there is only NOW, we cannot continue to live

in regret of the past and fear for the future. We are dividing ourselves into two states which is

exactly how you continue to stay asleep. We must live in the moment, in the now, by living in

this state you will transcend time and the illusion of control for one cannot control anyone who

lives in the moment not worried about what has happened or what is to come. These are only

states of mind not actually moments of time. Everything is always in the NOW one cannot even

think about past or future without being in the NOW. If this is the case, then why create

constant friction and distortion within yourself. We cannot create a better world outside

ourselves without changing who we are within ourselves.

Not everything is what it seems. I suppose the question now would be is it be better to

know the truth? The truth will uproot your entire existence one cannot know the truth unless

they are willing to discard all they think they know. One must be willing and able to understand

that what they have been told is wrong. This can be dangerous for those who are not ready to

understand. To wipe the hard drive that has been led to believe in one way is completely mind

altering. Their energy will become completely distorted and some have even gone crazy

because their mind could not handle what they were seeing. I know exactly what this feels like

there was a moment last year where I thought I had completely lost my mind. I was having

trouble coming to terms with all that had happened. My entirely reality of what I thought was

real came crashing down. I understand now what happened and even to this day it seems

literally incredible. The next chapter of this book will describe what I went through last year for

to know who I am today everyone needs to understand what I went through because what

happened to me is no fairytale. Everyone needs to understand that the battle for the mind is well

underway and for those who are awakened they know exactly what I mean. Forget what you

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know or think you know. Understand that you have been programmed and manipulated to

believe in what you have been told. Know that fear is being pedaled form all aspects of life and

until we can come to terms with our fears, we continue to give away our power to those who

use our energy to fuel their so-called agenda. What I have seen defies all logic and completely

changed my life. I am going to speak of an experience which is even hard for me to put into

words. I understand that it will be hard for most people to accept what I say as truth. If I cared

what people thought I would not be able to communicate what I am trying to say. I would be

living in a state of fear because of knowing what I know. Does everyone realize that I do not

fear anyone or anything at all? All that was done to me did not destroy me, all it did was make

me stronger. It fueled the fire within to burn even brighter. I will not live in a state of fear I will

speak the truth. The truth is what scares those who wish to control us. One cannot be afraid to

speak the truth when one knows there is no death. Death is used to control our life for everyone

is in fear of dying. Dying is as natural as living but most people are not living, they are slowly

dying, and they are terrified of what will happen when they die. When you raise your

consciousness to a certain level you understand that there is no death only the illusion of death

from which the body-mind perceives as the end. Only the so-called human body dies which is

energy vibrating on different levels which gives you the illusion of solidity. If an atom is not

solid than how can anything in this reality be solid, we have been led to believe that this world

is solid this is the farthest from the truth. Our brain decodes the reality that we live in so stop

allowing your five senses to be the masters of your reality they are only tools to help navigate

through this madness.

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ccxxvii
 CHAPTER XII

THE REBIRTH:

"You have arrived, by your effort alone, to what the shamans of ancient Mexico called

the topic of topics. I have been beating around the bush all this time, insinuating to you that

something is holding us prisoner. Indeed, we are held prisoner! This was an energetic fact for

the shamans of ancient Mexico."

Don Juan Matus Central American Shaman

“When your soul finally awakes, and starts to become more aware of one's

environment, and of oneself, then the first step is made on what we call the spiritual path. It is a

path of discovery. Initially it is about what life is about and the identity of oneself in this grand

scheme of creation. It is all about awareness. Becoming aware of "Who am I?", "What am I

doing here?" and "Where am I going to?" At a certain point, the spiritual seeker always hit a

certain stumbling block. Some insidious external force is relentlessly opposing spiritual

progress. Traditionally it was blamed on ill-defined, malevolent beings like demons and devils.

Almost all mystics have encountered them. These beings are real, and people in the past knew

they existed, but did not understand who they were. When we look at the same phenomenon in

modern times, we see that almost everyone who is on the spiritual path, who is psychic or has

spiritual gifts, always has the same disturbing interference from beings who are very cunning

but destructive to the spiritual progress of those people. We have finally gained a greater

understanding of who those malevolent beings are and how they work. They are a certain

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group of alien beings who have been present on this planet for a long time, and who are

exceptionally good at opposing our spiritual progress.

Although humanity in general has since long been ignorant about this alien controlling

force over the human mind, there were people, usually shamans who were able to see through

the deception, and became aware about what is really going on, on this planet. It is important

to understand this, because every spiritual seeker will hit this roadblock, and he will have to

deal with this external force, before he can further advance on his spiritual path. The

consequences of becoming aware of deliberate veiling and manipulation of the human mind,

and thus one's own mind, are profound. Once you become aware of it, there is no turning back.

You will have to deal with it.”

Carlos Castaneda

The greatest tragedy in life is not knowing who you are. One cannot come to know their

true selves, without being reborn. Now when I speak of being reborn, I am talking about

spiritually, forget all the rigid ideologies that you have been led to believe by the so-called

religions of this world. Understand that what we have been told is the greatest cover up in

human history. When one goes through an experience like I have, everything then is

questioned. Out of our worst experiences we can receive our greatest blessings. My life has

been no fairytale, but I had to become who I am today by going through the ring of fire. Fear

had to be left at the door and love was the only thing that allowed me to endure what I was

about to go through. I look at my life today and contemplate on where I was a little over a year

ago. I would have never imagined that I would be where I am today, but life is filled with

synchronicity which you can allow to guide you through your life, or you can write them off as

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random coincidences. There are no coincidences in this world everything happens for a reason,

we must come to understand what the reason is to know what is happening. Please understand

that what I say will sound incredible, so I am asking everyone to keep an open mind and

understand that we live in a world that is not what you think it is. The time to come together is

NOW, for united we stand and divided we fall. We have fallen far from the source of truth

because we have allowed a predator to infiltrate our mind and distort the fabric of existence.

I have had many experiences in my life which have brought me here. In the beginning

of my life, I thought I was always cursed as if a dark shadow was always hovering over me.

Unaware of the truth and always wondering why I had experienced a life full of traumatic

experiences. One thing is for sure to say that my life is dull would be the understatement of the

year. I have come to realize that by understanding who we are we can come to terms with why

certain things may happen over the course of a life. My first forty years on this planet have

been tumultuous to say the least but I know if I had not experienced everything I had, I would

not be where I am at today. If we can learn and evolve from our experiences than we can

transform our life into a journey of exploration. The exploration of knowing one-self is the

greatest journey there is because it will lead directly to the heart. The journey begins and ends

with the heart. To know the journey, one must have the courage to step on the path of

exploration. To go deep inside oneself one must be willing to die. I have never been afraid of

death in-fact at times in my life I welcomed it because I had come to the realization that there

was not much about my life that I was happy about. The only two things that brought me true

happiness were my children and I can say without any doubt that if it were not for the love of

my children and the love of others that I have received in the last year I would not be here

today.

ccxxx
 I know that love, has the ability, to change the world. We must understand that love is

the only truth. For when love becomes a state of being then nothing and no one can affect you.

What you will come to understand is that yes you are physically in this world, but you are no

longer of this world. To become love, one must have courage. For only the fearless can become

love. I have heard many people talk to me about love and as usual what they talk about is what

I would consider mind love, which is a chemical reaction. Humanity has distorted the concept

of love. Love cannot be controlled or owned, everyone is trying to possess love, or put a price

tag on it. All we have done is created a form of control. One must laugh at the fact that we even

try to own love, my gosh how far we have fallen. Love is not a possession for one’s control,

love is freedom. Everyone is trying to control everyone else, and we call that love. This, is why,

so many run, from love, instead of toward it because nobody wants to be controlled. My entire

life I have been wondering why this world is as crazy as it is. Nothing seemed to add up, why

so much chaos. I have had so many people tell me that love is a fairytale, unbelievable

nonsense then when I discover what love is and realize that I am love I am called a lunatic and

insane. Hmmm, something is wrong here how can someone who speaks about love be insane. If

speaking about love is insane then the problem is not me but this world. The world had become

completely absorbed with the me, me, me, me, me, me, mentality. The very concept of we, is

no longer there. We have become a society of materialism, greed, glamour, and corruption. We

strive for the almighty dollar and care more about what is in someone’s bank account than what

is in someone’s heart. The secret to success comes from the heart. I have met plenty of rich

people with glamorous houses surrounded by all the materialistic nonsense that they believe

makes them happy. There is more wealth in a home filled with love than any glamorous house

filled with inanimate objects, which I promise does not bring you happiness. We have

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completely forgotten what it feels like to be happy because we are constantly trying to reach for

happiness not even realizing that it comes from within you. One cannot find happiness outside

of themselves.

Last year my life completely changed, in the beginning it seemed that everything had

changed for the worse but after getting through the madness that I endured I was able to come

to the realization that everything happened to bring me to this point in my life. For the first

forty years of my life on this Earth I lived the wrong way. I have never allowed anyone to

dictate to me how to live my life or what to think. This has never been something that I allowed

in my life. There was not one person on this planet who could dictate their thoughts and

opinions on me. I was not about to allow anyone to conform me without my due diligence of

coming to my own conclusion. I have never gone out to maliciously hurt anyone but if someone

irritated me, I surely did not hold back my feelings about how I felt about anyone. Especially

when it came to men and their nonsense of how they behaved or believed to view the opinions

of others, especially women. I have always held women to highest regard in my life, last year

absolutely tested my resolve when it came to this notion. I take full responsibility for what

happened to me last year and I put the blame at nobody’s feat. I can acknowledge that I made

choices that got me into the situation that I found myself in. After I had my stroke last year my

life completely changed as if something activated in my brain to allow me to see what I could

not see before. Not only was I seeing the world differently, but I was beginning to activate

abilities that lay dormant in everyone. Abilities that anyone can tap into if they would only

open their heart and allow their intuition to guide them through life. I was beginning to see the

world in a different dimension. I no longer saw a sense of separation I saw everything

connected as if we were a part of something much greater than ourselves. My consciousness

ccxxxii
had awakened, and this all began July 28th, 2020. In the beginning I was not quite sure what

was going on all I did know is that everything in my life was changing. I was able to do things

especially with my body that I was shocked I could do since I just had a stroke. I could walk

incredible distances and even run without pain. My body was becoming stronger, I was not sure

why I was even doing what I was doing. What I did know was that it felt amazing because I

was able to do the things that I used to be able to do before my surgeries. I began writing and

learning about all aspects of things, my spiritual journey had begun, and I was moving at a

tremendous pace. I could consume information at a much faster level and retain information in

a way I never could before. I began writing in journals because I had so much on my mind. It

seemed like I was looking at the world through a broken lens, and now I could see clearly.

Everything was changing and in the wake of the current situation that the world was in with the

complete fear of the virus that has swept through this planet like a plague I started to connect

the dots of what was going on.

With the madness that was taking place on the streets of this country I was beginning to

see what was going on. Everything seemed coordinated rather than spontaneous as if certain

events were happening to stir up the emotion of the many to express themselves through

protesting which led to rioting and looting. Understand that what was going on was designed

and planned to happen because those who manipulate events in the shadows were constantly

creating situations of obvious police mistreatment. Seemed like every month an atrocity by the

police was being committed and every time something happened the people would rush to the

streets and protest on the behalf of the victims. I have no problem with anyone letting their

voice be heard especially in this country that speaks of democracy and freedom but imposes

their will on the masses in ways that continue to speak to how much we have not changed as a

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country. The problem with this country is it cannot accept its past, how can any country move

forward, or strive for change if they cannot admit to the atrocities that were committed to all

minorities for hundreds of years. When it comes to racism this country was built on the

foundation of racism and then wonders why so many have not gotten past what was done. This

country has completely forgotten what was done to the Native Americans in this country before

the European settlers came with their disease and greed. An entire civilization was completely

wiped out and what do they talk about in schools? They promote a false lie told by those who

wish to keep their history and not admit to the truth of what really happened. I wondered just

how far we have really come in this world and especially this country which speaks about

freedom but has no idea what that word even means. The problem is we are becoming what we

hate, this is dangerous for everyone needs to understand that your emotions are being used

against you and while I can admit that what has happened throughout the history of this country

is wrong, I will not entangle with anyone who promotes violence. We cannot become what we

oppose we will only repeat past events and bring them into the present which will dictate what

happens in the world for years to come.

Division, separation, racism, hate, greed, fear and power are being funneled to create a

vortex of distorted energy. We are becoming what we hate because we are constantly

identifying with the labels which society has given us. We cannot identify with any label

besides our true self for this is where the problem lies. The more we label ourselves the smaller

we become everything is designed to divide us not unite us because it is easier to dictate and

impose the will of the few on a divided many. This is simple psychological warfare. Everyone

needs to realize that they are being used as pawns! Pawns in a game they do not even know

ccxxxiv
exists. Smokescreens are being created everywhere as a sense of diversion to what is really

going on. Why are we allowing this to happen? The world needs to wake up and get off its

knees we are bowing down to the forces of the few when we are the many. I was never really

into conspiracy theories, or off world topics, secret societies, or a mysterious force that is

pervading our mind and world. Sound familiar, in-fact I did not care about what was going on

unless it affected my own personal bubble. I was about to have an awakening to the truth of

what goes on for when you decide that you are going to question the norms and promote

change one must be ready for the adversity they will face. Understand that this is what is feared

the most. The very notion of people coming together and creating a spark for change is exactly

what the system does not want. I am sure some of you are thinking but what is he talking about

look at all the change that is taking place. The change that is taking place is designed for one

thing to further divide and separate us. We are being kept in a state of isolation and fear. In fear

of one-another because when one understands the manipulation and deceit that is going on we

can then understand why certain things are being done. To connect the dots which create the

pictures we must understand how the brain works and functions.

I have come to the realization that my journey has only begun. I have gone down the

rabbit hole and who knows how long it surely goes. I have come across other Mavericks in the

last year through books and conversation that are completely aware of what is going on. Seems

to me that something is guiding me on my journey of uncovering truths that are hidden deep.

These truths are being shown to me one step at a time. I only allow my heart do dictate my

action and no longer allow the mind to get in my way. My mind is only a tool that I used in

complimentary fashion with the heart. There is no more fighting within I just flow with the

energy of the Universe and what is revealed to me comes when the time is right. I do not rush

ccxxxv
into anything and because I no longer react with emotion but respond there is nothing that can

happen to me that I am afraid of. I do not fear death, for there is nothing to fear. When you have

even the slightest understanding of life, death is no longer something that you worry about for

you know that death is not the end. This is a hard concept to grasp for those who live in a

constant state of fear. Please know that living in fear is not how we are supposed to live. We are

to live in the moment and be grateful for our lives regardless of what may happen.

We have been manipulated and programmed for so long that to wipe the hard drive of

the brain and detach ourselves from what has been told is not an easy thing. If you are not ready

to awaken to the truth, then I recommend you put this book down. Read no further, there is no

point in trying to understand anymore. Everyone needs to know that what I am doing is trying

to share information that has been passed down from generation to generation. A secret way of

communicating has been passed down by possessors of ancient knowledge. Knowledge is for

everyone, but if you are not ready to look at things from a different angle then I recommend

you put this book down. I am not trying to conform or change anyone that is not the purpose of

what I am doing. Misguided religions have done that already, which has suppressed humanity

into conforming to what they consider is truth. As I stated earlier, I will not conform to the

norms that have been laid out by the few. What I went through last year has led me on a

journey of exploration and truth. I have come to terms with what I went through but I am not

going to keep quiet about what I know. The truth has been hidden for far too long and we have

come to a point in this world where change is imminent. Everyone needs to take their time in

reading the next segment of this book, understand that it will challenge all the norms of what

you believe. I speak from experience and my experiences have led me to this point in my life, I

am quite aware that there will be plenty of people who will disagree with what I am saying or

ccxxxvi
speaking on. If I was worried about that I would not even speak on what I have been through I

would keep it to myself and try never to think about it again. Those who are awakened

understand completely that once the door has been opened and you walk through their in no

going back. You cannot unsee truth and the truth always finds a way of coming to the surface.

By continuing to raise my consciousness and awareness I have been able to overcome

everything that I have been through in the last year. If I was not able to do this, I would surely

have lost my mind, thrown in a mental institution and drugged up to suppress everything. I have

already been told that I am mad and crazy by so-called family and friends but if I were mad and

crazy then why is wisdom, knowledge, and information coming to me from people, books, and

synchronistic experiences? Why have doors opened for me that I would have never known

existed if I were insane. How many people are aware of certain things but are terrified of

speaking out because they know they will be ridiculed and condemned?

I have been able to let go of what others may feel or think about me, everyone is entitled

to their own opinion, I harbor no ill will towards anyone who has ridiculed me. I know why

they feel the way they do for when someone goes through a complete transformation like I have

everything changes. Everyone who knew you will not understand what is going on, they will

not be able to process what you are saying or why you are feeling this way. As I stated earlier, I

went through a dramatic change the way I used to live is certainly not the way I live now.

Unfortunately, those who have even a slight idea of what I went through only know a part of

the story. Only my-self and the Universe know exactly what happened and that is where it will

stay. I do not need to try to explain myself to those who will never understand what I am

speaking about. There is no reason to elaborate on everything for what I went through was for

me and me alone. What I will elaborate on is the fact that after I said I was coming to

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Washington D.C. to give a speech on unity, and I was going to address the so-called leaders of

this country everything changed. I announced on Facebook that I was going to give the speech

on September 11th, and by September 3rd, I was in jail. Hmmm, is this coincidence I think not.

The events that unfolded that led to my incarceration for twenty-six days would forever change

my life. Nothing would be the same and my entire world was upended. I was being shown just

how far the deceit and manipulation goes. I was to be exposed to things that at the time I never

knew existed. To say that we are alone on this planet would be a lie, and everyone needs to

understand that we are not the only species in the Universe. The truth about who and what we

are, has been manipulated and distorted to hide the truth. But Danny if there are other species

on this planet why can we not see them? Well, that is because even though we have eyes, the

majority do not see what is right in front of them. This is deliberately done by every form of

distraction that has been created. Not the least alcohol and drugs which have been created to

keep the mind in a state of slumber which can be used to allow certain entities to come in

without our even knowing. Wait a minute how is this possible? How could we just be pawns in

a game that we do not understand? Why can everyone not see what is going? Most people do

not see what is even going on right in front of them let alone what is happening all around

them. Everyone is glued to their phones and tablets? All anyone needs to do is just observe.

Observe what is going on and you will see the nonsense of everything. Observe how many

people would rather be on a device than even hold a conversation with someone. Observe, how

we have become robotic in almost everything we do. Observe how we allow our emotions to

dictate our actions. Observe how many people listen when you speak. Observe how many

people lie to hide the truth. Observe how many people live in a bubble only thinking about me,

me, me, me. Observe how many people where masks instead of showing their true face because

ccxxxviii
they live in a state of fear. Observe how fear runs our lives in the form of everything that we do.

Observe the rollercoaster of emotions that dictate the lives of the many. Observe the lack of

compassion we have for one another. Observe how everyone just passes the torch instead of

addressing the problems that we face head on. Observe the division and separation instead of

unity and interconnectedness. Observe how the masses see everything in black and white

instead of bringing both sides of the spectrum together to be in the middle. Observe how the left

side of the brain is targeted to think more robotic instead of incorporating the right side where

your creativity and intuition come from which should be working in balance with one another

not against each other. Observe how women are deified and seen as not equal to most men.

Observe how we promote fear, hate, violence, racism, division, separation, greed, manipulation,

inequality and a sense of me. Instead of love, compassion, empathy, happiness, kindness,

harmony, peace, balance, equality, unity, and a state of we: The masses rely on their animalistic

primitive instincts and emotions which are dictated from the mind instead of their spiritual

uniqueness which comes from heart.

The world that we live in is a carbon copy, a distorted reality to entrap us in a low

vibrational state. Our uniqueness and creativity that comes with higher levels of awareness and

consciousness is what those who wish to control you fear the most. Their hearts are closed and

their obsession with power and greed has allowed their energy fields to be distorted creating

havoc and chaos everywhere they go. Know that we are receivers and transmitters capable of

creating our own reality. We do not need to be told how to live our lives when everyone one of

us, can be guided by the divine spark from within. I personally do not like to use the name God,

for religions have distorted the real meaning of what I call the infinite source of love. We are

infinite beings having a unique experience in what we call a human body. We are so much more

ccxxxix
than what we have been told, and we can override the program that we live in. We must bypass

the codes and rewrite the genetic sequence. I know this all sounds like science fiction,

understand when everything happened to me last year it took me a while to accept the truth. To

wipe a hard drive that has been programmed to believe in one way of thinking becomes quite

the experience when you start to lift the veils of deceit. I suppose when it comes down to it, I

have always known that something was not right about the way the world operated I have

always been searching for my peace. Wondering what the hell was wrong with this world, why

do we act in such a way if we are a species capable of so many things. We have become

entranced in an illusion of the mind and because we allow this to happen, we are creating a

distorted reality based on false beliefs pushed by a system designed to keep you in a state of

fear.

If what I am saying is wrong, then why was I demonized the way I was last year? Those

of you who were involved in what happened to me last year know exactly who you are. All of

you should know that I will never stop searching, never stop writing or speaking about the truth.

I will continue my journey of truth and walk the path I was meant to walk. Nothing and no one

can distract me from how I feel about life and what I know to be true. I have raised my level of

consciousness so that I never entangle with the spider web of deceit that has been created. Your

web has distorted everything and creating havoc and chaos with everything you touch. You

feed off the energy of the masses and believe that we are blind to what is being done as always

you underestimate love. To become fearless in a world filled with fear takes a strength from

within that allows you to overcome all obstacles. I may have been knocked down last year, but I

did not stay down. I rose from the ashes and became who I am today. A fearless warrior filled

with love, balance and harmony. I rose to the occasion and overcame your assault the best part

ccxl
is all you did was makes me stronger. For what does not break you only makes you stronger.

Everyone needs to understand that what those who wish to impose their misguided beliefs onto

the many, live in the most fear. They know the power is not in the few but in the many. They

know that eventually their lies will be exposed. The truth will come out and love will prevail.

Last year was my rebirth, I was awakened to the reality that we live in. I challenged the

established system, and they came at me with everything they had. Everyone who turned

against me understand that I hold no ill will towards any of you. I understand why you felt and

did what you did. You have all been fooled and live in a dream world. You are wrapped up in a

bubble so tight that you cannot even breath. You are indulged in your own self and beliefs to

the point where you will ridicule and condemn anyone who challenges them. I understand

completely because I did a 180 and because I am no longer the same person you knew before,

this bothers you. Everyone of you was okay with me living in a state of misery and despair

because all of you live in the same state, even thought you display to the world that everything

is fine. I have never been one to conform to anyone or anything I have challenged every system

and organization that I have been a part of because the system is wrong. The system has been

created to keep us in a state of madness. By fighting the madness with same consciousness that

created it I became the madness myself. I harbored so much emotion I was literally a ticking

time bomb waiting to explode on anyone and everyone. My ego was massive, there was not one

person who could tell me I was wrong, I imposed my self-hatred and misery on anyone who

entangled with my energy. I was a massive energy source for those who are manipulating us

from the unseen. I realized how large of a ripple effect I was causing with everyone and

everything I came across. I was not aware of my action and furthermore did not care about the

results. I became the madness that I despised I allowed my energy field to be distorted because I

ccxli
had not awakened to the reality that I was fighting a system that can not be fought in the way

everyone fights. This is not a physical battle that we are all in this is a spiritual battle within

ourselves that is taking place. We our giving away our power and energy to those who use it a

source of food. The food is not the human flesh but the spirit that resides within. We need to

understand that the eternal battle for life starts from within. We must rid ourselves of the

concept of polarities and start to see the oneness in everything. We are all connected,

understand that we are only fighting ourselves. The system is designed to distract you from the

truth, the truth is trying to set us free if we will only open our hearts and let the love flow in.

We must become ONE to override the system of control that has been created, by coming

together we can take back control of our lives.

Last year I wanted to give a speech in front of the White House, I was going to address

the so-called leaders of this country for they have failed. The have failed in every way by

perpetuating a lie. A lie has the ability, to carry a ripple effect of disastrous proportions and it is

how we find ourselves in our current situation that we are in. A lie was told last year which

created a situation the caused a disastrous ripple effect. I am not going to call out everyone who

was a part of it for you know who you are. I also do not harbor any emotional distraught about

what was said about me. The lie that was told only allowed me to become who I am today. Now

everyone needs to understand that once a conscious effort is made to destroy one’s credibility

the only thing left to do is to show the truth not just talk it. I was arrested multiple times last

year at the behest of those who wanted to make sure I did not go to Washington D.C. to give

my speech because I wanted to show a united front with the veterans that were coming with me.

This lead, to a series of events which have changed my life forever. I will not go into detail of

all that happened because those who created the lie know who they are I do not have to write

ccxlii
about what they did. What I do want everyone to know is that I was about to go through was 26

days of chaos. I was arrested multiple times but the last time I was arrested certainly takes the

prize. For anyone in this country who has ever had to deal with the onslaught of police brutality

that goes on in this country know exactly what I mean. I was put in shackles and chains and

once I was processed, I was beaten by seven police officers. At the time I could not believe

what was going on. I honestly felt like I was in Medieval times or something because I could

not believe I was being beaten while in shackles and handcuffs. I realized at that moment that

the only way to get through what I was going through I was going to have to put myself out of

my mind. I was able to suppress any pain that I felt for I knew that pain was only a signal that is

sent to the brain which decodes pain. For some reason I was able to withstand the beating which

I received for over five minutes. On top of that they dislocated my wrist by stretching my arms

out to inflict as much damage as possible. Here was the amazing part about all this the whole

time they were doing all they wanted me to do was scream. I know now why they wanted me to

scream because I would have released so much low vibrational energy at the time, I would have

become a tremendous sort of energy by those who wish to manipulate things in the shadows. I

stared at the police officers who were beating me and said only one thing, you cowards I have

been broken already and there is nothing you can do to break me again.

Everyone needs to realize that police corruption and brutality still exists. I was then

thrown into a cell where the psychological games began. For those who do not believe in

possession understand that possession is real. Not in the way that you think though. Everyone

needs to understand that anyone is capable of being possessed or mind controlled. This is a

certain fact and there have been plenty of books and experience written by people who have

been victims of mind control and possession. I was being shown exactly how we are

ccxliii
manipulated in the reality that we believe exists. I found it interesting that during the whole

time I was not in fear in-fact all this did was strengthen my resolve because for some reason I

knew what was going on. Only if you entangle with and identify with this sort of nonsense does

it have power over you. This led me to be in jail for 26 days, where I realized that the world, I

thought existed was complete and utter bullshit. I have seen things that define logic and made

me question everything I knew. For a moment there I thought I had lost my mind. After my 26

days in jail the Wounded Warriors of the Marine Corps whom my younger sister works for told

me that I need to go to a Post Traumatic Stress Disorder clinic, I knew that I was going to have

to go to one if I wanted any chance of seeing my children again. I agreed with their suggestion

and decided to go to see my best friend at the time in Michigan, I will not mention his name,

but he knows who he is. Unfortunately, this turned out to be a terrible idea, but it did allow me

to see exactly what the person he was with was into. Understand that there are people

everywhere practicing very dark shit. I know I know, come on Danny this is crazy. I wish I

could say that it is not true but there is seriously some sick shit going on in this world and

everyone needs to WAKE THE FUCK UP! Understand that you are living in a dream world.

Honestly, unbelievable nonsense! This world is already insane. We have individuals out there

who are what I would call dark occultists. What the hell do you think all these secret societies

are doing. Please do not be so naïve in thinking that this sort of stuff does not exist, it does and

the prevalence of it is mind blowing.

Man will only become better when you make him see what he is like.

Anton Chekhov

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 The next eight pages of this book are from a conversation between Carlos Castaneda

and Don Juan Matus, I inserted this into the book for the simple fact that this is one of the best

explanations of what is going on in this world. If you can get through the next segment with an

open mind and truly try to identify with what they are saying maybe, we can all come to an

understanding of what is going on.

Don Juan said, "This is the appropriate time of day for doing what I am asking you to

do. It takes a moment to engage the necessary attention to do it. Don't stop until you catch that

fleeting black shadow." I did see some strange fleeting black shadow projected on the foliage of

the trees. It was either a shadow going back and forth or various fleeting shadows moving side-

to-side or straight up in the air. They looked like a fat black fish to me, enormous fish. It was as

if gigantic swordfish were flying in the air. I was engrossed in the sight. Then, finally, it scared

me. It became too dark to see the foliage, yet I could still see the fleeting black shadows. "What

is it, don Juan?" I asked. "Long ago, the native sorcerer/shamans of Mexico discovered that we

have a companion for life," he said, as clearly as he could.

"We have a predator that came from the depths of the cosmos, which took over the rule

of our lives. Human beings are its prisoners. The predator is our lord and master. It has

rendered us docile; helpless. If we want to protest, it suppresses our protest. If we want to act

independently, it demands that we don't do so." It was very dark around us, and that seemed to

curtail any expression on my part. If it had been daylight, I would have laughed my head off. In

the dark, I felt quite inhibited. “It's pitch black around us," don Juan said, "but if you look out

of the corner of your eye, you will still see fleeting shadows jumping all around you." He was

right. I could still see them. Their movement made me dizzy. Don Juan turned on the light, and

ccxlv
that seemed to dissipate everything. Don Juan said, "You have arrived, by your effort alone, to

what the shamans of ancient Mexico called the topic of topics. I have been beating around the

bush all this time, insinuating to you that something is holding us prisoner. Indeed, we are held

prisoner. This was an energetic fact for the sorcerers of ancient Mexico." "Why has this

predator taken over in the fashion that you're describing, don Juan?" I asked. "There must be a

logical explanation." "There is an explanation," don Juan replied, "which is the simplest

explanation in the world. They took over because we are food for them, and they squeeze us

mercilessly because we are their sustenance. Just as we rear chickens in chicken coops,

gallineros, the predators rear us in human coops, humaneros. Therefore, their food is always

available to them."

I felt that my head was shaking violently from side to side. I could not express my

profound sense of unease and discontentment, but my body moved to bring it to the surface. I

shook from head to toe without any volition on my part. I heard myself saying, "No, no, no, no.

This is absurd, don Juan. What you're saying is something monstrous. It simply can't be true,

for sorcerers, or for average men, or for anyone." "Why not?" don Juan asked calmly. "Why

not? Because it infuriates you?" "Yes, it infuriates me," I retorted. "Those claims are

monstrous!" "Well," he said, "you haven't heard all the claims yet. Wait a bit longer and see

how you feel." "I'm going to subject you to a blitz. That is, I'm going to subject your mind to

tremendous onslaughts; and you cannot get up and leave because you're caught. Not because

I'm holding you prisoner, but because something in you will prevent you from leaving while

another part of you is going to go truthfully berserk. So, brace yourself!" There was something

in me which I felt was a 'glutton for punishment'. He was right. I wouldn't have left the house

for the world; and yet I didn't like one bit the inanities he was spouting. Don Juan said, "I want

ccxlvi
to appeal to your analytical mind. Think for a moment and tell me how you would explain the

contradiction between the intelligence of man the engineer, and the stupidity of his systems of

beliefs or the stupidity of his contradictory behavior. Sorcerers believe that the predators have

given us our systems of beliefs; our ideas of good and evil; our social mores. The predators are

the ones who set up our hopes and expectations, and dreams of success or failure. They have

given us covetousness, greed, and cowardice. It is the predators who make us complacent,

routinary, and egomaniacal."

“But how can they do this, don Juan?" I asked, somehow angered further by what he

was saying. "Do they whisper all that in our ears while we are asleep?" “No, they don't do it

that way. That's idiotic!" don Juan said, smiling. "They are infinitely more efficient and

organized than that. In order to keep us obedient, meek and weak, the predators engaged

themselves in a stupendous maneuver - stupendous, of course, from the point of view of a

fighting strategist; a horrendous maneuver from the point of view of those who suffer it. They

gave us their mind! Do you hear me? The predators give us their mind which becomes our

mind. The predators' mind is baroque, contradictory, morose, and filled with the fear of being

discovered any minute now. "I know that even though you have never suffered hunger," he went

on, "you have food anxiety which is none other than the anxiety of the predator who fears that

any moment now its maneuver is going to be uncovered, and its food is going to be denied.

Through the mind, which after all is their mind, the predators inject into the lives of human

beings whatever is convenient for them. The predators ensure in this manner a degree of

security to function as a buffer against their fear." "It's not that I can't accept all this at face

value, don Juan," I said. "I could, but there's something so odious about it that it actually

repels me. It forces me to take a contradictory stand. "If it's true that they eat us, how do they

ccxlvii
do it? "Don Juan had a broad smile on his face. He was as pleased as punch. He explained that

sorcerers see infant human beings as strange, luminous balls of energy covered from the top to

the bottom with a glowing coat, something like a plastic cover that is adjusted tightly over their

cocoon of energy. He said that that glowing coat of awareness was what the predators

consumed, and that when a human being reached adulthood, all that was left of that glowing

coat of awareness was a narrow fringe that went from the ground to the top of the toes. That

fringe permitted humanity to continue living, but only barely. As if I were in a dream, I heard

don Juan explaining that, to his knowledge, man was the only species that had the glowing coat

of awareness outside that luminous cocoon. Therefore, he became easy prey for an awareness

of a different order, such as the heavy awareness of the predator. He then made the most

damaging statement he had made so far. He said that this narrow fringe of awareness was the

epicenter of self-reflection where man was irremediably caught. By playing on our self-

reflection, which is the only point of awareness left to us, the predators create flares of

awareness which they proceed to consume in a ruthless, predatory fashion. They give us inane

problems that force those flares of awareness to rise, and in this manner. They keep us alive, in

order for them to be fed with the energetic flare of our pseudo-concerns. There must have been

something in what don Juan was saying which was so devastating to me that at that point, I

actually got sick to my stomach. After a moment's pause long enough for me to recover, I asked

Don Juan, "But why is it that the sorcerers of ancient Mexico and all sorcerers today, although

they see the predators, don't do anything about it?"

"There's nothing that you and I can do about it," Don Juan said in a grave, sad voice.

"All we can do is discipline ourselves to the point where they will not touch us. How can you

ask your fellow men to go through those rigors of discipline? They'll laugh and make fun of

ccxlviii
you; and the more aggressive ones will beat the shit out of you... and not so much because they

don't believe it. Down in the depths of every human being, there is an ancestral, visceral

knowledge about the predators' existence."

My analytical mind swung back and forth like a yo-yo. It left me and came back and left

me and came back again. Whatever Don Juan was proposing was preposterous, incredible. At

the same time, it was a most reasonable thing; so simple. It explained every kind of human

contradiction I could think of. But how could one have taken all this seriously? Don Juan was

pushing me into the path of an avalanche that would take me down forever. I felt another wave

of a threatening sensation. The wave didn't stem from me, yet it was attached to me. Don Juan

was doing something to me, mysteriously positive and terribly negative at the same time. I

sensed it as an attempt to cut a thin film that seemed to be glued to me. His eyes were fixed on

mine in an unblinking stare. He moved his eyes away and began to talk without looking at me

anymore. "Whenever doubts plague you to a dangerous point," he said, "do something

pragmatic about it. Turn off the light. Pierce the darkness; find out what you can see." He got

up to turn off the lights. I stopped him. "No, no, don Juan," I said, "don't turn off the lights. I'm

doing okay." What I felt then was a most unusual, for me, fear of the darkness. The mere

thought of it made me pant. I knew something viscerally, but I wouldn't dare touch it, or bring

it to the surface, not in a million years! "You saw the fleeting shadows against the trees," Don

Juan said, sitting back against his chair. "That's pretty good. I'd like you to see them inside this

room. You're not seeing anything. You're just merely catching fleeting images. You have

enough energy for that."

I feared that don Juan would get up anyway and turn off the lights, which he did. Two

seconds later, I was screaming my head off. Not only did I catch a glimpse of those fleeting

ccxlix
images, but I also heard them buzzing by my ears. Don Juan doubled up with laughter as he

turned on the lights. "What a temperamental fellow!" he said. "A total disbeliever, on the one

hand; and a total pragmatist on the other. You must arrange this internal fight, otherwise

you're going to swell up like a big toad and burst. "Don Juan kept on pushing his barb deeper

and deeper into me. "The sorcerers of ancient Mexico," he said, "saw the predator. They called

it the flyer because it leaps through the air. It is not a pretty sight. It is a big shadow,

impenetrably dark, a black shadow that jumps through the air. Then, it lands flat on the

ground." "The sorcerers of ancient Mexico were quite ill at ease with the idea of when it made

its appearance on Earth. They reasoned that man must have been a complete being at one

point, with stupendous insights and feats of awareness that are mythological legends

nowadays. And then everything seems to disappear, and we have now a sedated man." I wanted

to get angry and call him a paranoiac, but somehow the righteousness that was usually just

underneath the surface of my being wasn't there. Something in me was beyond the point of

asking myself my favorite question: What if all that he said is true? The moment he was talking

to me that night, in my heart of hearts, I felt that all of what he was saying was true, but at the

same time and with equal force, I felt that all that he was saying was absurdity itself.

"What are you saying, don Juan?" I asked feebly. My throat was constricted. I could

hardly breathe. "What I'm saying is that what we have against us is not a simple predator. It is

very smart and organized. It follows a methodical system to render us useless. Man, the

magical being that he is destined to be, is no longer magical. He's an average piece of meat.

There are no more dreams for man but the dreams of an animal who is being raised to become

a piece of meat: trite, conventional, imbecilic." Don Juan's words were eliciting a strange,

bodily reaction in me comparable to the sensation of nausea. It was as if I were going to get

ccl
sick to my stomach again. But the nausea was coming from the bottom of my being, from the

marrow of my bones. I convulsed involuntarily. Don Juan shook me by the shoulders forcefully.

I felt my neck wobbling back and forth under the impact of his grip. The maneuver calmed me

down at once. I felt more in control.

"This predator," Don Juan said, "which, of course, is an inorganic being, is not

altogether invisible to us as other inorganic beings are. I think as children we do see it, but we

decide it's so horrific that we don't want to think about it. Children, of course, could insist on

focusing on the sight, but everybody else around them dissuades them from doing so.

The only alternative left for humanity is discipline. Discipline is the only deterrent. But by

discipline I don't mean harsh routines. I don't mean waking up every morning at five-thirty and

throwing cold water on yourself until you're blue. Sorcerers understand discipline as the ability

to face with serenity odds that are not included in our expectations. For sorcerers, discipline is

an art; the art of facing infinity without flinching; not because they are strong and tough, but

because they are filled with awe." "In what way would the sorcerers' discipline be a deterrent

to the flyers?" I asked. Don Juan scrutinized my face as if to discover any signs of my disbelief.

He said, "Sorcerers say that discipline makes the glowing coat of awareness unpalatable to the

flyer. The result is that the predators become bewildered. An inedible glowing coat of

awareness is not part of their cognition, I suppose. After being bewildered, they don't have any

recourse other than refraining from continuing their nefarious task. If the predators don't eat

our glowing coat of awareness for a while, it will keep on growing.

"Simplifying this matter to the extreme, I can say that sorcerers, by means of their discipline,

push the predators away long enough to allow their glowing coat of awareness to grow beyond

the level of the toes. Once it goes beyond the level of the toes, it grows back to its natural size.

ccli
The sorcerers of ancient Mexico used to say that the glowing coat of awareness is like a tree. If

it is not pruned, it grows to its natural size and volume. As awareness reaches levels higher

than the tremendous maneuvers of perception become a matter of course. "The grand trick of

those sorcerers of ancient times was to burden the flyers' mind with discipline. Sorcerers found

out that if they taxed the flyers' mind with inner silence, the foreign installation would flee, and

give any one of the practitioners involved in this maneuver the total certainty of the mind's

foreign origin.

The [alien mind control of these creatures] comes back, I assure you, but not as strong;

and a process begins in which the fleeing of the flyers' mind becomes routine until one day it

flees permanently. "That's the day when you have to rely on your own devices which are nearly

zero. A sad day indeed! There's no one to tell you what to do. There's no mind of foreign origin

to dictate the imbecilities you're accustomed to. My teacher, the nagual Julian, used to warn all

his disciples that this was the toughest day in a sorcerer's life for the real mind that belongs to

us. The sum-total of our experience after a lifetime of domination has been rendered shy,

insecure, and shifty. Personally, I would say that the real battle of sorcerers begins at that

moment. The rest is merely preparation." I became genuinely agitated. I wanted to know more,

and yet a strange feeling in me clamored for me to stop. It alluded to dark results and

punishment, something like the wrath of God descending on me for tampering with something

veiled by God himself. I made a supreme effort to allow my curiosity to win. I heard myself say,

"What-what-what do you mean, by taxing the flyers' mind?" "Discipline taxes the foreign mind

to no end," he replied. "So, through their discipline, sorcerers vanquish the foreign

installation." I was overwhelmed by his statements. I believed that Don Juan was either

certifiably insane or that he was telling me something so awesome that it froze everything in

cclii
me. I noticed, however how quickly I rallied my energy to deny everything he had said.

After an instant of panic, I began to laugh, as if don Juan had told me a joke. I even heard

myself saying, "Don Juan, don Juan, you're incorrigible!"

Don Juan seemed to understand everything I was experiencing. He shook his head from

side to side and raised his eyes to the heavens in a gesture of mock despair. He said, "I am so

incorrigible, that I am going to give the flyers' mind which you carry inside you one more jolt. I

am going to reveal to you one of the most extraordinary secrets of sorcery. I am going to

describe to you a finding that took sorcerers thousands of years to verify and consolidate." He

looked at me, smiled maliciously, and said, "The flyers' mind flees forever when a sorcerer

succeeds in grabbing on to the vibrating force that holds us together as a conglomerate of

energy fields. If a sorcerer maintains that pressure long enough, the flyers' mind flees in defeat.

And that's exactly what you are going to do; hold on to the energy that binds you together." I

had the most inexplicable reaction I could have imagined. Something in me shook, as if it had

received a jolt. I entered a state of unwarranted fear, which I immediately associated with my

religious background. Don Juan looked at me from head to toe. "You are fearing the wrath of

God, aren't you?" he said. "Rest assured, that's not your fear. It's the flyers' fear, because it

knows that you will do exactly as I'm telling you. "His words did not calm me at all. I felt

worse. I was convulsing involuntarily, and I had no means to stop it. "Don't worry," don Juan

said calmly. "I know for a fact that those attacks wear off very quickly. The flyer's mind has no

concentration whatsoever." After a moment, everything stopped as don Juan had predicted. To

say again that I was bewildered is a euphemism. This was the first time in my life ever, with

don Juan or alone, that I didn't know whether I was coming or going. I wanted to get out of the

chair and walk around, but I was deathly afraid. I was filled with rational assertions, and at

ccliii
the same time I was filled with an infantile fear.

I began to breathe deeply as a cold perspiration covered my entire body. I had somehow

unleashed on myself a most godawful sight: black, fleeting shadows jumping all around me

wherever I turned. I closed my eyes and rested my head on the arm of the stuffed chair.

"I don't know which way to turn, Don Juan," I said. "Tonight, you have really

succeeded in getting me lost." Don Juan said, "You're being torn by an internal struggle. Down

in the depths of you, you know that you are incapable of refusing the agreement that an

indispensable part of you, your glowing coat of awareness, is going to serve as an

incomprehensible source of nourishment to, naturally, incomprehensible entities. "And another

part of you will stand against this situation with all its might. The sorcerers' revolution is that

they refuse to honor agreements in which they did not take part. Nobody ever asked me if I

would consent to being eaten by beings of a different kind of awareness. My parents just

brought me into this world to be food, like themselves, and that's the end of the story." Don

Juan stood up from his chair and stretched his arms and legs. "We have been sitting here for

hours. It's time to go into the house. I'm going to eat. Do you want to eat with me?" I declined.

My stomach was in an uproar. "I think you'd better go to sleep," he said. "The blitz has

devastated you." I didn't need any further coaxing. I collapsed onto my bed and fell asleep like

the dead. When I arrived home, as time went by, the idea of the flyers became one of the main

fixations of my life. I got to the point where I felt that Don Juan was absolutely right about

them. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't discard his logic. The more I thought about it, and

the more I talked to and observed myself, and my fellow men, the more intense the conviction

that something was rendering us incapable of any activity or any interaction or any thought

that didn't have the self as its focal point. My concern, as well as the concern of everyone I

ccliv
knew or talked to, was the self. Since I couldn't find any explanation for such universal

homogeneity, I believed that Don Juan's line of thought was the most appropriate way of

elucidating the phenomenon.

I went as deeply as I could into readings about myths and legends. In reading, I

experienced something I had never felt before: Each of the books I read was an interpretation

of myths and legends. In each one of those books, a homogeneous mind was palpable. The

styles differed, but the drive behind the words was homogeneously the same: Even though the

theme was something as abstract as myths and legends, the authors always managed to insert

statements about themselves. The homogeneous drive behind every one of those books was not

the stated theme of the book. Instead, it was self-service. I had never felt this before. I attributed

my reaction to don Juan's influence. The unavoidable question that I posed to myself was: Is he

influencing me to see this, or is there really a foreign mind dictating everything we do? I

lapsed, perforce, into denial again, and I went insanely from denial to acceptance to denial.

Something in me knew that whatever don Juan was driving at was an energetic fact; but

something equally important in me knew that all of that was guff. The result of my internal

struggle was a sense of foreboding; the sense of something imminently dangerous coming at

me. I made extensive anthropological inquiries into the subject of the flyers in other cultures,

but I couldn't find any references to them anywhere. Don Juan seemed to be the only source of

information about this matter. The next time I saw him, I instantly jumped to talk about the

flyers. I said, "I have tried my best to be rational about this subject matter, but I can't. There

are moments when I fully agree with you about the predators." "Focus your attention on the

fleeting shadows that you actually see," don Juan said with a smile.

cclv
 I told Don Juan that those fleeting shadows were going to be the end of my rational

life. I saw them everywhere. Since I had left his house, I was incapable of going to sleep in the

dark. To sleep with the lights on did not bother me at all. The moment I turned the lights off,

however, everything around me began to jump. I never saw complete figures or shapes. All I

saw were fleeting black shadows. "The flyers' mind has not left you," Don Juan said. "It has

been seriously injured. It's trying its best to rearrange its relationship with you. But something

in you is severed forever. The flyer knows that. The real danger is that the flyers' mind may win

by getting you tired and forcing you to quit by playing the contradiction between what it says

and what I say. "You see, the flyers' mind has no competitors. When it proposes something, it

agrees with its own proposition, and it makes you believe that you've done something of worth.

The flyers' mind will say to you that whatever Juan Matus is telling you is pure nonsense, and

then the same mind will agree with its own proposition, 'Yes, of course, it is nonsense,' you will

say. That's the way they overcome us. "The flyers are an essential part of the universe, and they

must be taken as what they really are; formidable, monstrous. They are the means by which the

universe tests us. We are energetic probes created by the universe," he continued as if he were

oblivious to my presence, "and it's because we are possessors of energy that has awareness

that we are the means by which the universe becomes aware of itself. "The flyers are the

implacable challengers. They cannot be taken as anything else. If we succeed in doing that, the

universe allows us to continue." This is the end of the insert that I put in. This was done to give

you an understanding of the story that I am going to tell you now. The only way to grasp what I

am going to say is to understand what was just said. This sets the mood for my story. Please

know that what I say comes only from experiences that I have had.

cclvi
 Is everyone still there, I know what was just said is hard to believe but there is a reason,

shamans, mystics, and anyone who has awakened speak like this, it is because they understand

that we live in an interdimensional world with limitless capabilities and infinite potential. I

never said this would be easy to understand and I am quite aware of the ridicule that I will

receive. Oh, yea have I said that I do not care what anyone thinks about me. When you rid

yourself from allowing others to dictate your thoughts and actions you become free from those

who wish to keep you on their level. I would love for the masses to awaken so everyone can

take part in the meaning of life. Unfortunately, this is not the reality that we live in and there are

a lot more people asleep than there are awake. Everyone needs to grasp the reality that we are

in, for the time to awaken is NOW, there is no tomorrow and yesterday is already gone. We

must rise-up and face the situation we are in, take back our lives and allow love to become the

currency for our existence. We are not labels we cannot succumb to the notion that we are what

we are labeled. The moment you identify with a label you become the label. Everyone and I

mean everyone must come together. We must rid ourselves of rigid ideologies and stop

conforming to everything. Everyone has the ability, to be awakened. There are no chosen ones

drop the notion of prophets and messiahs. We are everything and everything is us. Stop feeding

into a system that is designed to keep you from knowing who you are. When one knows thyself,

then one is free from the confines of the established societies designed to entrap us in a state of

mind where we live in a world of fear instead of love. The time to spread our wings and rise

from the ashes has come. When we awaken to the truth the notion of fear will no longer exist,

we are all ONE and when we are ONE, we are fearless.

Knowledge itself is not the problem, knowledge is neutral. The abuse of knowledge is

what creates the havoc in this world when it is used for selfish purposes. We cannot allow the

cclvii
selfish abuse of knowledge to distort who we are. We have allowed the suppression of

knowledge to dictate our lives always remember that knowledge is borrowed, it is wisdom that

is given and comes from within. Realize and awaken to the truth that everything is energy

vibration and frequencies, we need to tune ourselves to the right frequency so we can all vibrate

to the highest vibrational frequency which is love. We can all raise our consciousness and

awareness, not because someone is telling you to but because this is who and what we are. We

are infinite consciousness, infinite awareness, having a unique experience the majority fears

death because they have never experienced life. Life through my eyes is a perfect balance a

harmonic flow of energy never veering too far to the left or right. Emotions due not control my

thoughts or dictate my actions. I flow with the energy of the Universe which brings me peace. I

do not entangle with low vibrational frequencies and allow the infinite source of love to flow

within me, which gives me the strength to express myself freely. For love can only be kept

when it is given freely creating an infinite ripple effect that penetrates through everyone and

everything. For the power to salvage the world is in the precipitation of love, which is spread

with the constant flow of energy that only grows the more it is given freely.

cclviii
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