Audition Monologues for Back to the 80’s
Choose one that has qualities you would like us to consider in casting you. You will also perform a 16-bar portion of a song.
All I’ve ever wanted to do is read. When I was little, they kept making
me go outside and play. Can you believe it? I’d be right in the middle of
something and they’d make me go outside. I didn’t mind the outside, but
they wouldn’t let me bring a book. They’d take it away. Sometimes
they’d hide it so I couldn’t find it when I came back. Then they’d force
me to eat and talk with the rest of them. My mother practically strip-
searched me tonight. I had to sneak this one in my underwear. Don’t you
think that’s ridiculous?
Julie from Social Life by Nancy Oliver
He gave me a pre-engagement ring. Have you ever heard anything so
ridiculous in your life? A pre-engagement ring? I mean, what does that
even mean? Even if it was a diamond, which I doubt it was, it was so
small you couldn’t even see it. And then—I couldn’t believe it—then he
waits until we’re in the middle of school in front of everybody and then
he hands me this toy ring and says something about being pre-engaged
which I never heard of before, have you?
Charisse from Social Life by Nancy Oliver
I was coming out of class and I banged into Chester Morrow and he put
his hands on my shoulders so I wouldn’t fall. And he said, “Excuse me.”
And I said “That’s okay.” And he said, “No. I’m really sorry, are you
okay?” And I said “Yeah.” And then he let go of my shoulders and I
watched him walk on down the hall. Well … I mean … I walked into
Chemistry and started setting up and Mr. Finnegan says, “Brenda, what
are you doing?” And I said, “Setting up my stuff,” and he says, “But you
just had the class.”
Brenda from Voices from the High School by Peter Dee
This isn’t the old west, Billy Bob, and I’m not your mail order bride, or
everybody’s locker room fantasy, or some bimbo to be passed around
from split end to quarterback. How dare you think you have any right to
even talk to me unless I say so, much less decide what I’ll do or who’ll
I’ll go out with for even one night, let alone an entire football season. It
gets me astronomically furious! What gall! What bad taste! How
unbelievably Neanderthal and demeaning and blockheaded and stupid!
Barbara from Love, Death, and the Prom by Jon Jory
Now, what are you going to do with Julie? Huh, Charisse? Of course
you’re best friends. You have so much in common, you’ll spend so much
time together. You’ll do your nails and she’ll find a cure for arthritis.
She’s gonna sit with you every day at lunch and tell you all her problems
and every boring thing that happens to her. She’s gonna follow you
around and cry and ask stupid questions. Admit it. You’ll dump her.
Just like you dumped Richard. Admit it. You pick people up and you
throw them away.
Nuke from Social Life by Nancy Oliver
High school is supposed to celebrate education and knowledge, but what
it really celebrates is social groups and popularity. In a perfect world, a
kid like me would be worshipped because of my scholastic abilities,
instead of someone who can throw a 40 yard touchdown pass. I suppose I
could complain and bemoan the unfairness of it all. But I am bright. I
know something that the others don’t—that once we leave high school
and enter the real world, all the rules change.
Dennis Gandleman from Class Action by B. Slaight
After looking at her for years, after wanting her for years, she is finally
mine. And beautiful? When I’m with her, others turn their heads as we
go by. It’s her body. A perfect 10. She’s older than me, but you’d never
know it—and she’s very powerful. What an incredible combination,
beauty and power. It’s a sign that I am no longer Danny Logan, the little
kid next door, but Dan Logan, a man who has something that all other
men only wish for.
Danny Logan from Class Action by Brad Slaight
Why does everyone feel that I’m safe? Like yesterday, I was at the
pharmacy and this elderly woman comes up to me and asks me to help her
find a good skin creme. I ask you: Do I look like a skin creme authority?
It happens to me all the time. Total strangers just come up to me and start
talkin’ like they know me. People trust me. I tried to grow a beard this
year to make myself look a little edgy, but it just made me look wiser.
Wise men just aren’t dangerous.
Eric from Second Class by Brad Slaight