The Main Causes Of Divorce

Introduction

Major causes of divorce

What is infidelity? This is having an affair outside marriage. Most people call it cheating or better still
adultery. Cases of cheating are rampant nowadays. There are so many cases of spouses killing each
other simply because he or she found the other one cheating. Apart from killing each other some
spouses just decide to divorce. Actually, extra-marital affairs are responsible for the breakdown of
very many families. The major question we are supposed to ask here is, what causes infidelity? I will
discuss two major reasons of infidelity,

Believe it or not some partners find it hard to forgive their partners who cheated on them. They
therefore decide to revenge by cheating also which brings more harm than good. I think when it
reaches to this point the couple should see a marriage counselor.

If one partner feels like he or she has less attention, underappreciated or all the financial burden is on
him or her then the relationship is one sided. This might tempt him or her to find some other
companion outside which is really dangerous.

This is actually the big dog here. To my opinion money has broken majority of marriages. Problems
may arise due to careless spending habits and one partner having more money than the other. I tend
to believe that most men feel threatened if their wives earn more than them. This may lead to
unnecessary chaos. Another challenge is that if the woman earns more, she may feel superior
leading to power struggle. The law of nature states that the man is the head of the house. This will
never change no matter how learned a woman is. I think this is the reason why some men do not
allow their wives to work after marrying them. Such factors should be taken into keen consideration if
at all partners want to have a stable marriage. Proper planning on finances needs to be done in each
family.

Couples can argue about financial matters, kids or their responsibilities. I have seen most couples
arguing about kids. The reasons may be who should pick the kids from school, blaming each other for
the rebelliousness of one child, arguing on who should pay school fees, buy clothes for children and
even blaming each other on childlessness. Both partners may be working so when they reach home
in the evening after work, they start arguing on who should do the house chores. The main reason as
to why a couple may be constantly arguing is that one may be feeling like her opinions are being
ignored and therefore he or she always comes up with the same issue. This is really dangerous to
any relationship, may it be dating or marriage since one partner will get tired and give up leading to
divorce.

Good communication is the foundation of quality marriage. Yelling and speaking harshly or giving
each other negative comments is not right. Shouting or yelling is not good since the other partner will
get offended. A soft answer turns away wrath. It is unfortunate that some couples are used to yelling
at each other on very minor issues. Unhealthy methods of communication should be ditched in any
relationship since this is a major cause of divorce.

Life is full of disappointments. Getting into a marriage expecting your spouse to live up to the image of
who they are in your mind is not advisable. Some partners expect too much from their partners in
which they cannot offer. This makes them view their partners as failures since they have not met their
standards. Wrong expectations can therefore lead to divorce. You should love the person that you are
seeing and not the idea of who they should be or they are going to be after marriage.

One of the most serious causes of divorce is abuse. Abuse can be physical or emotional. Physical
abuse is rampant in our current world. If you talk to many young people, they usually have a story to
tell about their parents who have lived quarrelling and beating each other. Physical abuse does not
just come as the first step it actually begins with emotional abuse where one partner if it the man,
criticizes the woman on her dressing style, walking style, how she talks, her physical appearance and
worse still control her every movement. As it is known, women thrive on what they hear. This might
really affect a lady. As for women, they may try to blame the men for their unhappiness, constantly
check their phones for their text messages and phone calls or even accuse their husbands of
cheating. All these are forms of emotional abuse.

If emotional abuse leads to physical abuse whereby the husband and wife beat each other, then that
is a no go zone. This is a big cause of divorce. It is advisable that one should flee an abusive
relationship or marriage so as to save yourself and your kids all the suffering which is really
traumatizing.

It is usually said that marriage should not be entered into inadvisably and without the fear of God.
Some youths just enter marriage without any consultation thinking that it would be easy. They may
actually be thinking that they are fleeing their current problems since they have found the person they
love, only to realize that they are adding their troubles. One should be psychologically prepared and
well advised on how to stay with his or her spouse and children. Since many young people especially
those in their 20’s enter into matrimony inadvisably, they find it hard to cope with the challenges and
afterwards divorce.

Can you imagine of couples living like a brother and sister? With this I mean that neither do they have
physical intimacy nor do they have emotional intimacy. If you are not connected to your partner it
actually feels like you are living with a total stranger. Intimacy is not all about sexual needs, emotional
intimacy is also important whereby you connect, talk nicely to each other, surprise each other and
also help each other. You should also not ignore your partners sexual needs. You need to be there to
cater for their sexual needs otherwise they will start having the thoughts of infidelity which may lead to
divorce.

It is really surprising how the body of women changes after giving birth to children. Some men marry
slim ladies who after delivering children become plump due to baby fat. Since God made people with
a lot of diversities, some men marry plump ladies who reduce after delivering their babies. If love and
understanding is not what governs a relationship then the husband might start finding his wife less
sexually attractive. Once he withdraws his attention from her the problem arises there. Some couples
therefore divorce due to that which is really bad. As long as a girl tries to maintain her hygiene after
delivery, I don’t think physical appearance should matter.

It is certainly true that a woman can hide the real her in order to catch the attention of a man. The
same can also happen to a woman whereby a man hides the real him so as to marry her. This is not
correct at all. It is usually said that you should not pretend but you should be yourself and someone
will love you for who you are. It is really bad that some people realize later in marriage that they
married a totally different person. In worst case scenarios, a man may marry a very innocent and
humble woman educate her until she gets where she wanted to be but unfortunately the woman may
change and turn wild to a point where the husband cannot tell her anything. Many people are just
perseverance in marriage instead of enjoying their marriages which is very sad. In such cases where
partners find out that they are strangers to each other, they mostly opt to divorce.

Alcohol is a commonly abused drug. A combination of alcohol and other drugs is more dangerous.
The problem usually comes up if the breadwinner of the house drinks irresponsibly and forgets about
his responsibilities. Some men use all their salary on drinking and neglect their families leaving the
family with a lot of financial constraints. In addition to this the level of drug abuse may reach to a point
where the partner no longer reaches to work on time or even does not go to work because he or she
spends most of his time feeding the addictions. In other cases drug abuse may cause violence in the
homes. This is another big cause of divorce.

Apart from companionship, people get married for procreation. It is the desire of every woman to bear
children. A couple may be unable to have children due to reproductive issues from either the husband
or the wife. The problem with our society is that people are always fast to blame the women which is
wrong. A man can also be infertile. In such situations people are told to seek medical guidance. If the
partners are not patient with each other hoping that things might change, then this is another major
cause of divorce.

This mostly occurs in long distance relationships or marriages. After marriage it is not advisable to
take your spouse for granted. If your partner lives in another country or work far you really need to
communicate a lot to cover the fact that you are in a long distance marriage. If this does not happen,
partners might lose interest in each other leading to loneliness. Loneliness might trigger one’s mind
into infidelity which may eventually lead to divorce.

It is so unfortunate that most couples after getting children they put all their focus on children and
forget the reason as to why they got married in the first place. They major on their children so much
forgetting that they have a spouse. As children grow up to the point where they are working, the
couple is left alone finds out that they have nothing in common and have grown to be apart. This can
easily lead to divorce, since there is no connection.

Causes of Divorce: essay conclusion

Every couple has disagreements, the only difference is how couples resolves conflicts. Decisions
should not be one-sided. In some cases, a third party such as a parent, elder or pastor has to be
involved so as to help the couple resolve the conflict. In this case both partners should be willing to
listen, if not, it can result to divorce.
In this essay I have analyzed what causes divorce among couples. The causes of divorce may vary
from simple conflicts and lack of communication to some serious problems such as infidelity, abuse,
infertility, etc. But it only depends on a couple and their desire to save or end their marriage.

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