Mina Yakio [Mang appeared inthe last work of the progr snd wit not ‘Gee unt the entire performance was over. Once the show tnd, ‘actors normally make'a quick change of cates and ssh frome the theatre, but Mang showed no sgn of hate as he completed is Jresng by puting cape and 2 caf of a muted calor over his outer limon. He waited for Kawai When Kawika lt append, the cunty greeted Mangia, not bothering to ake hi nds foo hit ‘overcout pocket The disciple who aways waited on Mangiku a hit dy’ maid" ruched up, a6 if te announce some major calamity. “I sared to Snow he reparted witha bow "Aheney snow?” Mang touched hit cape to hit cheek, "No, just fury” "Weil need an uel tothe can? Mangik sid. The dcp rahed off ora umbre, ‘Masuyama saw them ko the aage ence. The door attendant ‘nd poliely ananged Mangik’s and Kawaak’s footwear next to ich other, Mangiku’s disciple stood ouside ia the thin snow, holding an open umbrelh. ‘The snow ll so sparc that one «ould be ae one sw it agains the dat concrete wall beyond ‘One or ro fakes Gutered onto the doorstep atthe sage entice ‘Mangika bowed to Masuyama, "Wel be letsing nov, he ‘id ‘The sale on his lips could be seen jdinedy behind hit sar He fumed to the disciple, "That's all sight, 1 cary the unbrell, ke you o go instead and tell the drive we'e sea.” Mangia held ‘he umbreli over Kasra’ head. As Kawa in his vetcot and ‘Mang in his cape walked off ide by side under the umbrella few fakes suddenly ew-—all but bouaced-—ffom the unbrel. ‘Masuyama watched them go. He flat though sbi. back, wet umbrella were being notly opened inside hs hear. He could tall tat the sion, fist formed when at + boy he sw Mangla perform, an ilsion which he had preserved intact even after he Joined the kabul sta bad shawered that istane ial dieting, lke s delicate pice of crystal dropped fom a height At st I now ‘what dsilusion means, he thought. I might as'well give up the theatre ‘But Masayama Kew that along with dillsion a new sensation ‘was astaing him, jelousy. He deeaded where this new emotion Imig ead i a OND TARKO (19266 ] TODDLER-HUNTING “ted by ny Nor s ‘Aiko Hayashi could not abide line gis who were berween these Sand ten yeas old: for her hey were the most daguting variety of Inunun being. IF Akiko hd maried and had baie, ike mont other ‘women, het clden would now hive reached ths very age lou. ‘She ofen wondered: i she'd given bith to Baby gi, what Lind of ‘mother would she have made? ‘She Knew men often suid dhey couldn't stand children, only to tun imo doing Sher once they bad fanes of ther own ‘But she couldn’ imagine her own abhorrence of ite ver Yielding to motherly. love—an emotion she'd concaded she fearedly posesed anyway. She Sound trsiga gir in tat age soup Isis oftmive—pecaps the ditsence of dei rce_bluted the contast between them and lie boys #0 she might have been ale to sand having daughter if she'd mamied 4 foreigner, and they'd been of mined blood. If not, though, she ort sute that = 2 mother she would have been mom hotnbly vindictive. She ‘woulda’ have been snsied with merely being told and hash to her daughters hee abhomence would have regued sessutes more ‘Acico’s antipathy toward Kile gis wat diferent Sons the dike she ind of atrctve, mamed, conceited women who were hes ow gs or the contempt she Bad for young men who theew thie ‘eight around: or her impatience with old people, wi were ft too smug. Herabhomence of ide gle wae ks the pbs some people have toward small erestars like makes, ct ofp ‘Whenever Akiko thought about her own childhood, he would be overcome by a choking, sulfated fing Childhood bad, in ‘ce, been happier then other periods of her fe ALiko had no recclecson of any harp: she had probably been the tat fet tte ofall her pees 2 cheval Ie thing when she wor youngKons Tako Underneath that sunny dipesion, however, ia the pit of her stomuch, she could remember growing conscious of an inexplicable seve of constriction. It was a she'd been put in 3 long. matow tunel that she was going to have to keep waling though forever, an useen,sicky igld Was seeping out of every pore inher body — Semething had latched onto her and was refusing to let go All ‘of er sass had been opprewed, and she had elfered 2 contin wx, fling of nausea and digas. 1 EPEC) ‘Once, ina science cas, the children had had 4 leon about silkworm the teacher hd cut open 2 cocoon with + sap nd ‘eveiled 2 pupa finly fesing is body ine beta cave, Akiko wet ‘yes on tis pupa, a filthy, dark form being slow seated by For some renton Ako became convinced that the strange heavi= ‘nes that she fensed inside was shared by other gen he ag group. ‘Growaups, however, didnot fe hi way; nor didi ‘older gi, True enough, once Akiko got past the age of ten, the ‘uffcation and queanes suddenly lef er Ie wat aha’ stepped {Ur of the tunnel oneo high psn a lt she was breathing feel. fn the open air. At the same tie, she felt repulsed by te gs who ‘were tl pasing through eh natueou age and her rpusion only ‘oe sronger a the yes went by. ‘The more pica 2 lide gel of dis age group was, the more unseing Akiko found it to be nea her. The sky, white ey the tilted body, the bobbed hninsyle exposing the yellowish neck, the unnaturally high, insipid manner ofpesking-even the ct and oor ofthe g's clothes for Akiko, these charcerstice were all linked with the cloeenes and ith eat she had gimped inthe pupa ‘Asan adolescent the could hardly Took at lide gi diecty—l Js allow henelf to touch them. Her sBhomrence ad ceived sendiminished to the preven dy. ‘Ciildcen of the other sex, however, were» feent mts Ako found lle boys extemely appealing humin being. She ida’ know when, exactly, her ataction for them had srficed. She new ony thatthe special pleasure she drew from thei company Ind grown more inteasating with the pasing of time Lacy, het encounter with litle boys had bet ately plesnable x esencet Todderhunting Susi had le on busines to Ona, taking the ‘Swallow Two! ‘expres train. Alo had seen him off the sation, and he'd handed Jneeapocage—a new shi, which he ide ad found tobe poorly Snished when he'd brow home, Hi local aloe ad patched up, bur he wondered whether Abi would mind going back ad ‘aking an cachange. She wopped by the deprtient ree tae ‘oned, in Nikomtash. ‘She van her eran, Tt was newly five ollock. She le he wore and hurtied to. get ahead of the evening muh, making hee way Towards the subway sation. Her pace slowed, however, when she Sw she was pang in fone of + sore that spied in chides Teas at in sume, sll very hot, and Nesey aRernoon slight ‘was flooding the pavement. She wa terested to notice titi the Shaded window showete aun ad already arrived. Lite shite tnd Blouses for boys were pinned out on daplay. They inlined thet Dodies in various directions, stuck out ther sturdy elbows and ‘gestured with their ame. There wat one in parila tht cage het ‘ye, with crescent shaped buttons, folded so tht ie puted out i ny equae che and seemed to sping away from its rarroundings, She guesedffom i lc of volume that had shor dees, The ‘nate, however, eoked warm enough for aurumn-—it wa prob- ably ight weave of wool war asp shit in deep eed and bine, eth asf, newly flded calle. Asko ood infront of ten entranced [None ofthe items in the dipley cae hada price tg on it. She ted to gues how much the one she kd would cor Knowing er tates, as bound to be on dhe expensive side—probbly round Fieen hundeed yen, Heer rapture had made her an easy target shop aistant in 2 hie shoraleeved shir approached “How old s your fede one, Madan?” he siked Alo diroparded the question and stk the price ofthe shi “One thovsand seven hundred yen” “Tew i would be something Bike that Ako ssi, She was rather plesed| "Sha T ge it down dhe auitane reached wp eowards the gle pes oF dhe showcase. ‘No, plese don’ Akiko begee, husiely "asta eis pone shir diiogue war intemuped the scant watKons Tako ‘wanted atthe back of the shop to take «telephone call Akiko ‘breathed sigh of rei she was aleady so enchaned by the shit she Knew that once she was alowed fel it he would never be tle to leave without ie being inher pouesion, ‘Just ake a look, Madam the sistant wh had retired, urged ‘one more te. With his the shire was placed gen in he ands. ‘Akiko suoked the mitra lovingy. It looked energetic and bright—just ight fora ide boy of around four She imagined child Pushing his hay, sunburnt face up through the neck opening. How would he look when he was taking the shirt off? Ofcoune he would try to rest all ffs of help; he'd want to do itll by himseit Crosing his chubby lee ams over hi chest and eachng for the boom ofthe si, wath grt deal of concentration, he weal Jt be able to ceach i with his ingen. But bringing it up over his Inead with his arms cased war going tobe fiche would twit round, wiggling his botom, screwing up his fice ashe yanked 2 the them. Akiko would ge gimpues oft ight, round belly busing With ‘he plaefilsof ood he finshed up every mealtime, The dt ws not s0ing to come off though, however hard he tied ‘Thete had been times before now when, dwn bythe charms of | line boy’ clothes, and especialy by the scenes to which they ewe ‘ein her mind, she had ended up buying them. A pair of back ‘one shorts with cul, "hunting jacket of tery eth ded with 4 all maroon-and-white check design and a minatsetaincoxt about forsyfive centimetes im lengths. Having purchased these items of clothing, she would seek out women fends with lise todd to dees. Once she'd decided on her prey, regards of the Sec tht she normally gave no though othe woman (ometines he hd even had» filing ou with fer, she would et out to bestow her git—eithee bewildering the recipient or making hee eigen cembirmament Ako was indierent shout the things she wore heel bu she ‘wat interested t the point of obsesion sn garments fr lide boy 40, natural, her sease of tate in tht af was much more refined ‘The people the selected to receive her gifs would be dubfounded how could this woman, who bad never once beens iether het Sind sich wondefilly propriate tems of dren? She was well sware that there were some who thought they could gues the renon behind thet fs of generosity: of coune, thy Would see em merely as expresions of her unuliled matemal love 6 Toe ating vant la ng eel shoals tyes ete eee peter eed par Seceieceeeae Serene zies Saino ee nee arene ———— pesineeree merc noes a SSrerare eres Ce “hen de bed pune fm enc cll, ARO hd Bsn eta eaee acer te tae ranatabitral ee ncetices jn a review, ‘—especially in the last piece, Mozart's ode to spring,” Lhcateocnderencene oes Spoon gata eer ena Gist aie aires Sime So monsnaente fae ee ee ting he par ha eps Maney oyu het? Ts al a, =o es LSS i Ty ayn i cane nies intron at co eae ee Eero anromaackes ivaineers eee Por ont nnrr nn GNU Sie tenuate ———— Seapeeciee scenes [Smear uyKono Tako "Vsaw in the papers ha your boy had the part’ Akiko old hee ‘She dated look st the boy, steading by his mother side Gosh, sind ete he in Only four yeas old they sid Is everthing going wel?” “Quite well He won't get sage ight? Masayo replied, ‘And it lune a ifthe pas demanding Think hell be all igh” ‘Oh, Tm sure. What plucky lide fice!” Akiko sid, letting her tee linger over the boy's plump, bite-sned ealobe, adh chechs, ‘hich ere tinned and smooth ‘Do you sing too, Auntie” the child inquired. “Me? Akiko was 2 lie hesitant ‘AB, no, Aun dost’. “Yes, what are you doing now” Manayo buted ia. The words were ambiguous: Masyo could have been asking wht she was doing in general thete dayo—or what she wat dang here on this particular diy In either ee, the question war condercending Adsko ‘ecided to reply in an equilly vague manne. “Oh, Fdo various language job” ‘Tremember—your Kalani remarkably good, i's i ‘Yes indeed, Akiko’ Teian was splendid. Far above the prof- ciency level needed for opera OF coume, she iad never had any Jhope of» decent salary with her postion inthe chor even 2 + member ofthe group, she had been forced to ely om bet langage “sell to survive: She had wandated arles fom Taian for fhion ‘agizines, and helped junior member of the chons nprove thet own Language sil, "Nowadays, she was employed parttime ata fctory tht mansfic= tured compressors and wat called in whenever the compaay needed “The wchnsa language hd posed difcalies when she fw started since there ws no ‘complete Tain dictionary. She had usualy taken words the did't understand, with their Englsh and German counterpacs, 0. de Engineering Section and asked for help. This war where she had gotten co Know Sask, who was the one who uly anvweved all Dee queries "Venvy you. Not being ted down by full-time job he had remarked when they'd Sst had a chit. But the pay for atte ‘work wat 2 pitance, and ie was imposible to meet her expenses with her Tan alone—even when het services were: much in demand, She ad found additonal work st Wandin asa in 8 publishers company bringing out 2 compete set of opera, aad Toddler ating ‘with his job she could indulge herself in buying ine shins fo ie ops ‘Thece wat no reason, however why she had to explin thi to ‘Masayo, Without farther ado, she presed the pace the had brought Jno Masayo's hands and sd, "'ve Brough preset fo celebrate hit abu! ‘Oh, my goodnes. You need’ have gone to “Thar perfectly all ight. T wanted co," Akiko id. She directed ‘he st putt of ds sentence #0 the boy “What is? What is 12" he sed. “Lwonder now whether [shoul have brought ato.” Akiko sid “But won't you ty i on? Masyo was sil hesitating over whether te acepe 50 Akiko tore off he wropping paper, and pulled out he concent for the boy tos. “Oh, 32 lovey” Mayo we geting mre and more uncom- ‘orale, but Akiko was already hurrying to remove the espe singlet ‘he boy as wearing and to pall her gi over hs ead. “what do you think? Don't you thik is charming? she asked “Oh, yen And fis exady” “Oh, how cue!” 2 gil packing up her costume chimed in ¢eheir side, “What's your name, poppet” Akiko asked, ‘twat reported in the apes, bur Tm afd “Tell Aunt daring Don’t forget: my thank you “My same i Shuichi Noguchi Thank you. Asko laughed "Can you get undreved all by youre Shuichi” “The child nodded “Go on, show me thea” ‘The child gave his ie shoulders 3 pelo shake in is comoxt- ale new shit with red and blue sips. T don't watt" "You lke iz don't you?” Mayo id, “Children know when something’ exta special Wil you wear that one home, Shuichi? ‘The cid looked hopeilly up at his mother. “Yeah” ‘Alako was tlle. The she oe only sted him perfec, but it was alo great succes with the boy hinuele Butte could ac go ‘without the chance to watch athe ted to get himelfovt off “ies al a lite warm for this shi you iow" she aid. "You ont wane to sweat, Shu Take i off and have Mummy cary it ‘home, shall we? We can eat i all we like when the weather getsKona Tats cooler, What a big boy, she added, before the boy could object. "Shu can get undesed al by himself” ‘Alsko Undid che cecent batons atthe neck of dhe shit and placed her hands over the chubby ite am wicking ot ofthe short Sleeves, She crosed hs army, one over the other avoring thet sofines: and moisure as she did), 2nd made him grep the hem. "Now bf your ams up and over yout head, Got” Js she had imagined, the cil tard to twist and tum about, wiggling his bottom. Ako backed off to oberve, To her chogtin, however, his mother decided to lend him 3 hand, Catching the sie tp fom behind, Masayo dew the shit up. Teapped off the boy's body in no ime at all "Bary, int 18 Aiko sid cosing ber own amt “Like thi, then up and oter’ The child nodded He copied her, coming hic ‘arms, bringing them up and leting ders Ell ooely over his naked belly That’ it! Akiko gave a watling,Sl-throsted ugh. “You lite dang” she croaned "Lthought you hated children, Mis Hayat» chorus gil id Alco was Well svaze of whit she meant She knew that Masayo vas probably thinking che ame thing Some years ag, when Akko had sl Been with the group, a woman now tout ia Euope had played te tide role of Hadane Busey with her own eid on sage ‘Al's blatant revulsion for that child had Become something of = Scandal The mother, who wae the stir ofthe avhole performance, had been Alsko's age; and, of course, the oters had spy cons ‘ded that her behavior arope out of jelsy "She doesa't have to take ie out om four-year ol she had head some of them ase. ‘But she knew that her revubion had realy arisen Beaute the cid Jn question hed een Alico ett seem now asi she had undergone change of ese. "The older you get, de more you appreciate cides charms she replied. ‘Recuming fom her job as tamlasion atistant, Akiko made some purchases a shops in Bont ofthe mation and reached her {sas du came down. The block of ice she had bought total Ind timose completely soaked the aewnpuper in which at ‘wapped, eezing her fingers nam. She suggled to keep hold of 30 “eddleaing her shopping. he evening newspaper and a prtard the found in her maton, barely able to tam the key in the lock, ‘When she went isi her sparoment, she fle something under “foo, Ie was a tclegam tat ad been pshed under the door, Eom Stak. He had been ue to vt ber pace thet nigh, boving planned ‘0 reean in the morning. ‘The telegram had been dispatched fom he centel post oe in (Ost, Sus had had to go on vo Hace emd, 0 hi etn ‘would be two or tree day ter than expected "Intouch soa," the final words ra, "The delivery time amped onthe teleprat was 8:3 thi morning: ‘Alako realzed that she must have jst mined on her say oUt. ‘What wat srange war tht che devery uine had actly been equested by the sender. Saki had probably been tod t0 go 10 osha by his hea office in Tokyo, or bya supenoe who had joined hms an the tp; But whatver the cate, he was Bound to have | become aware of the change of plan sometime between nine and ‘ve o'dock yexerday. Why had he delayed ineming her unt 830 ‘his momning ‘On close nipecion she found thst he had acto pushed he ‘elegram at 1197 lastnight. He would have taken the night tn 0 “loss afer dae, and reached his desnaion with no wouble by ‘moring. Kt mus simply have sipped his mind about sending 2 ‘elegam before then. He had jut gone out and spent time on the town. That mus be why he bad specified the tine of delivery. He Innd wanted to avoid giving her a hock in the mide ofthe night. ‘Alcko tosed the pice of paper aside. To dink that she bad ever {gone to the trouble of buying ice! What di he mean, he would et Ihe know’ ‘Forgive ma wat what he should have sid! ‘She heard the old woman superintendent ofthe building calling her ‘sme fom the fit oor, wanting t know ishe wa the one who hd made the oder atthe hquor tre. Akiko went downs a0 ssi 3 delivery man leaving tnee bots of Bes ju inside the hl "You got telegram, did't you? the old woman ‘ai fom her lite office by the door. The woman's rims spectacles somehow ‘pve her an ofiou aKono Tasks ‘Aiko sored to sma up the block of ice witha see perotae she wed t open mil bottes She pt some ofthe prensa {as and topped it up with beer. wae ual fo her dk ‘The tne ofthe Beer didnot ke erat ey pods ba twas esl cll and he downed two pase, one set the other Sadie, she rmetred the bag of ott chip se had ang She raced fit tnd tore open ler one ‘Bowfl howerr, sb wopped ening. She tele her het et ‘acing. A worm rah came’ over her” She fad to be down, She Temtmbred thee was il some Ke ie which te cul weap ‘towel and put on er frees. I wos pot ake betel 2 ot beer. But we too mich tobe to ge op. She ay she ‘ean spied out on the Boor "When she came to hr sent, the oe wa in soba datines. The luminous hand of the lock showed Yew mater pat ight Insc were chiuping ote, Since it wat September te temper str inthe datine wal exremly ho, bt thee at» dete tap in the air ithe evenings. Her swestosked dothes fe uncom foray damp aan her hin now tha sno Tongs ated with drink. er ‘An unnaied woman over ty gesing at 2 tenpe spy because a-man fwe Yeu er junior dd not cetumn on tne, geting dunk on beer tat she fad bought fer hi and thar wes room. Whoever hear of such 2 thing! Akko mead several times ina row, and then laughed ruc, She stood up, turned onthe light, pulled a blanket out ofthe cupboard and ly down agin. A ogee # pre to eep a tines ike ise got "You won't need to think ewice when you break up with me,’ Sask had once tld her "One day well havea fight, and thal be aha’ "You chote the tight penn, did't you" Abiko had retorted. She ‘bd immediately grown angry wih henelé Why did she have to be so dsnrecble? twas precisely this sures that made him sy such ‘hing, Had Saaki been pointing out the danger in her being so wif 2 woman? No, tat asf too romaatie an nerpretation He meant Simply that he was ly aware of how Iie conmnitnent the had to Iim—or, for that mater, to any aspect of er life, ae Tolerant ‘Sushi ad eeplled, “We both chore the sght ptt, dda’ we, ‘We should ey to make the bet of i” Both of chem were single, but though they were sill elatvely young he subject oftheir own lives and fare together aay cme Up for dscusion: ‘Soski had any number of commonplace ‘concerning lhe type of mamige he wanted: no doube he would sete down late tn fe with ice litde wie capable of meeting them. Akiko di not fave thou quaises, nor di she cre enough to want to develop them. On the other hand, she henelfcould'seolerte the fsy Ibis of anyone to ol and she was bored by men of any sanding in busines or society (who would ia al Ukethood be manied anyway). Each of them understood these things about themscves tnd the oder; and each was aware of the others knowledge. For hi, she was simply a stopgap companion, wl for her he 3 lent filed a supeeiia role ater partner. And the one thing that kept them together was thee seal ‘Ako remembered fist being donc asicted to Siti when he tod her about a night he had spent ying to help 2 woman who was having baby. leas when he ad been stunt, just afer he “Twas geting ready fr bed Sai ad tld er, when the old Jandy tho owned the uiding rushed into ny room, all in a fap “The baby's coming! The babys coming!” "Wel, what are you boing up nd about” I asked. Her belly was sight out to here, you know. "Don’t be an idiot Not me, Fm + wadow,” she sid all cfended. The woman having the baby wat in 2 0m sp on the ‘econd floor. Her husband was joamait—a drunk who never ame home; he wan’ home tht night, either, The woman cout be taken tothe hospitals she was aeady inthe mide of labor. ‘The whole ofthe second floor was in an uprott The ld landlady wanted me to heat up water on the ft oon, and take i up fo hem to we, “Las jun geting om with the jo,’ Sasaki hd continued, ‘when the od woman came down agin. Now she told me Td to go nd 2 midwife: they had sen someone to get one akeady, but he had’ ‘eeumed, Well finding midwife on the spor isnot ey you know. Tain around, long, and eventaly found a adverbetnent or smiwife pated on a telegraph pole I raced round tothe ade, ‘nly co be tld the woman had moved away five yas before, WhatKno Tako ould I do? I had to do something, I thought. By the time 1 fly found 2 midwife che baby had already come, ba its jt a well «@ fet the umbiial cord cus by someone who knows what theyre doing isi “Tova just going back eo my room—my dues ever—when there was he old woman again. Now ehey had to have somebody gi id ofthe water the baby was wathed in. So of T went agai, eis time ‘withthe tenant who lived new © me—both of wr camping thi great Ineavy ub. She tld us to go some distance and ge oid of in the fields, but I wasn’ ging eo cay i any farther tha I ad to! The water wat thing sil over the place, etching me right in the fice and mouth, Phughl We jst dushed i down a dean on 4 axeet “What sex was i Akiko had atked, “The baby? A esky lite bo. ‘This convesaton had quite an unexpected effet om her, Akiko remembered. Why had she fe so atzacted tim, jut because ff 2 story about him having to rach around helping pregnant woman who was tol stange? Akiko could not wot it ot. Perhaps she war amacted by bis feshnesby 4 cern boys raver in the toy? Bute wna us that. Ako aio remembered faving hada song premonition dat undementh hit story, and the image heeled to crete of hive an unsophisticated youth eager: come to the ad of woman in dsgem, she could detec a cerain sak of braaty. Her premonition had been tighe She ad found ou tr tht Sask had jr the tendencies he hed From the way he sid 'aheaky lle boy,” though, Siti p= peared to have a fthey side wo him. How dd thf nt ‘Alako ceached forthe postard she ha seen in her mal. It fiom Maso Noguchi. "Twas s0 happy to see You spain the other diy, despite the hex. Is been s0-many yeas, ran the fst few words. “We had the final perormance la night. Shichi normally bounces up staight out of bed, but this morning he dozed il we pst nine o'clock. Is fanny to dh tha, ctl though he i he snus be relieved now i's ll over He's so amiten withthe shit you te him. “wane to weat dat ong," he sys. We can't wae fori foe weather to cool down ‘Aiko didnot felt pat of by Mayo’ words, One ple in the letter in particular semed wo gia her stenon! Shichi orm = z : Postar “hom “Tedder ating ally bounces up straight out of bed hough her mad ist because the postad did not annoy her, though, did not sean she cued wo azange another encounter with the child—even The were wearing that sweet shirt of hes Even afer giving chem the cloths she'd bought, she never retained any speci atachoent for the recipients dhemscves. ‘She wondered how Saal would rece she tld im she wanted him to be the father of her dld. Doubs he would pick 4 8ght and leave her straightaway, ‘Aliko'spesiods were always regular, and except for once, whe she'd made Suaki whip her 10 vilealy dat she'd been unable to sand for two days, deze had hardly been 3 month wien they de’ arrive on time. The bright red blood would float in the white porcelin bowl before being whiled sound and fuhed away with the wate, [Asa younger woman, she had been amazed by the strangeness of her bod—by the way every month, over and over again, it prepared 2 litle bed forthe baby inde het, unaware that none tras going to be bor, and then diane it Tt had seemed t0 her thes mater of the gave imporance that thee wat stl fot 2 single person on this can cated out of her own, blood ‘But she had ao offen found herself wondering how, afer she had sive birt to baby, she could ger someone ele to cite for it. She Ind flea peat need to gusante themand «geet envy toward ‘men, swho seemed able wo avoid the tks of parenthood much mote ‘ily. Gradually she had Become convinced that her envy of men ‘went to prove just how poody she must be endowed with ‘womaa's tatu love for 3 hd. ‘Then there had been her bout with pulmonary tubercles. ‘Although her ecavery had been surpingly ewe, he ae had been sesious, and she had been told by the doctors when she lef he hospital that she should ever try having a baby-~ahe would never survive. By now, even if they tad here would be all ight afr al, ‘Asko no longer had ihe shee wish to do so. Even side fra hhow she would arange i, ever since her Ue she offen fl that Jnr physical and mental sides were wey = ede with one another Above al, she ws impusent™—too impatient to. wait at ach though pregnancy, and then trough smothechood again, Ie wat ms ‘She rn the word owlKono Taso probably this inbity to compromite and aake sactifies, she thought, ha kepe ching going with Saas, So she had simply become even lew interested in bringing up culdren tan before. She fale she must be a woman for whom ‘maternal love was a wally aen emotion. Akiko could feel quite a ‘use now with the thoughe that her health made having baby out ‘ofthe question. Indeed whenever she remembered the fit she fl fn emotion rather clot to joy. ‘The hands ofthe clock showed nine o'lack, Akiko fle pangs of Fhunges; But she did nos want € get up yee. She wa can aad relaxed She closed her eyes and let her mind wander, Graal, she ‘eaied het body was becoming warm with sexual deste ‘When Akiko becaie roused on her own, wat common for 2 ‘sumeal fintasy word to descend around her and take fe ito sory. She resized tha her vslent swings of tnoed most have been 4 sign she could fe hat weange deam world coming dow pon beraows ‘Ar times Ike this, Akiko would oe rech the heights of rexual cata. AS the duis ofthe nery world spread out about her it her mind, she would stare to love al sl-contol, he pve beating ft and fster, and her sin seaming wth swat. ‘Two human beings would always appear in this stange dream world: 2 boy of about seven or eight, and an older man in his hiss, The deta of what they would do dered fun time to time, but the age gap Between them temsned constant, = id their felasonship of patent and cid” Both of thelr cet ‘would be out of foeus, but i war one of Aiko requirement that she be able co believe thatthe child, a leas, was Very. very ‘The man would be punishing the boy, talking to hi ll the while fn hartowingly gene tone. The scoiing would stat outa the kind any Ether might give; but it would gee gradually more bru, Sinaly reaching « horn lve of tocey. oly. however, jie a she was reaching the pedk of her pleut, ALiKo would tesa beupy to bene’ The thought that ie war imposible for such ‘hing to happen in reality would srice on he snd—and at this the wot of fanay would dimppesr. Her fice would be hot snd faked, bur she would realize the plesrable fing was sendy ‘ying away 36 Tedder ning malty by, the fate tans going te hae 10 teach you = Fantasy - a pana yee dot per eer Latte le Se ag At wy Sere ae al Seto ae a Naat ata eae Tr ian mst tt a eet emir eae ee ae ramen Aas eta coc ieetnere cnet “he es nf cot io ong oi aan et sbi enti poten nena Soe ioe re param te ‘ef blood flow down the boy's thigh. The flw stops halfvty down. The bood iene Seale ieee Se ee Seay eee TAS Be rR Sato and fr har apes hci ‘metal, The child howls, shrieks out in agony, wrigles around desperately, minders ete ea pate nner eae aioe SITE ny a ty os mentee oct ees cts peel ated es Tania yeaa eect aetceemeae ween ma nl eae Soaf i Kono Tako You event che Ms stomach, The woman’ vole asin ins ing, The ad get he met fowls om hs bly. ‘Suddenly, the id's stomach spl open. ple of ines, ong, exquisitely rel pe of vile, thes "Tie woman gives He ede: th mai oe the cord around the child's hands The Boy dps dow flu the baht the pound. Now the man srs the pul ope towards hin i gt nd jer the hls boy lt, frying fo get oe tsi thet Th ie bdo th ed ‘ft pple mp is fing pete apis the coma on Sak. Esery ‘ith oth ope rings fort pt, homing seams, ‘Akiko saw Sask again when she went to work € the Betory. At ‘they walked down the condor together, he asked Feeling beter” “Looks ike st, doen’ i” "Te gave me a teal sare” "Serves you right, Sending telegrams inthe mide of che night" ‘Ako had spent the previous nighe with Sak, but ihe had not ‘mentioned the mater of the telegram ths, “Te was debvered in the morning, was 1 he shed "T don't care about cat. Why did you wai 0 long before you bothered to ge in tou” "Oh, I went wo she nigh game, and it only fished at...” They were in font ofthe Pesonael Ofc, xo Akiko let Sai in ad Sentence and disappeared behind the door eo allt her monthly Po. ack at home, Akiko starved to clear up: dat moming, she had left her foom 2s i was in her huey to get to work There were sti 2 fee peat lying veatered onthe Roor ‘The previous night Alsko had been desperate to get Sito add varity f0 their usual practices Finally, she had Brought out a reduce of pat “They'e not real” she ad si, handing him the beads. "Now that’s an interesting dea.” Sasa had dangled the necklace fiom his Giger isto anti her, and then, gripping ie ugh, bad taken up a postion behind her. Ae she waited Akko worked herelf| up inc a ever of sntciption: all de skin on her body ft though it were wtenched around and sining to were he sod ‘When he brought the beads dowa aguas er skin, however, dhe sting and the smart, cracking sound were over te 4m at taey ad ‘begin: the thread of the necklace had snapped. There wat a dull me il box and began crawling around on his hands and knee, busting fut others that ly here and there onthe foo. Akko watched him in growing veration ‘Just leeve them where chey ate, can't your" When she heard er ‘own voice, she realized with dssppoiniment cha che mood bad et her ‘But the next moment Saiki hd caught sight of vinyl washrope Jnging ina comer ofthe room; i was dhe type with pase knobs snd metal hooks at either end. A Saal reached for aligned its nds and sarted doubling ie up, Ako was already bogsing hime "Use the jagged bits on me, plese...” ‘What they sed always depended on their mood; but both ‘of them enjoyed the round of various objects being whipped spins her sun. The moce caied away they both became, the louse and more wrgent thet encouragement of cach other grew ‘That night, however, Sunki had made the rope become 2 lve ‘hing in his hands, and it was kely Akiko bad done more than het tuted amount of seeming. They hid been a0 ncey that they Ind not relized at fint that shere war zomebody knocking om the door “What's hae Suk fore suddenly in mid-seoke, By unfortunate coincidence, 2 Greengine siren started to wal somewhere in the neighborhood. Akiko hear gave a tenific lp Pulling a shire over ht shoulder, Saki pu hit ice round the door. fe asthe old woman in er tml spectacles, “Twas 4 ele woried” she sid. T don't wane them having to cay you dead ont of thee "We've cemly sony “In any case, Keep down, will you? Remember there ae others, inthe busing” ‘Plate excuse us! itening to their voices. Akiko suddenly felt very sick, Naser sept over hee chest, nd Black vel covered her eyes. She by Son “Something wrong?” "Choe dhe window..." Akiko tried to push back dhe bottom ofKono Tako the curtain, which wat billowing out inthe breeze ove her heed eo “The shock at che though haa fe ad started—had dat seat the ‘ood supply eo her hea, already besting fll pl nto earmosl? Jitsu bene od tad ben hes needa ‘lings leaping around in space. But now she was aware of being very ‘old. She was determined, however, not t0 lore consciounes [Although he seemed separated fom herby some dance, she could hear Saas voice, and ae had thought tha she wa sponding 2 his words. Afterwards, however, he told her that thee had been thiny minutes or 10 when she'd showed 0 reaction to anything he's, and that her puke had grown more and more feeble. ‘As she Brought a hand to her forehead, Ako realized her fingers swere frozen and sift Sask related the hand he had been holding fd stood seight up. “This is bad "Thete was dhe Sound of his wousers being bucked “Where ae you going?” “To get 3 docor” a. "Forget it” Aluko spake without opening her eyes She wa, in ‘ac, beginning 20 fel lisle beter. She became sware tit» dnp hand-rovel had been pushed down between her breass snd she'd ‘been covered by a thick quit “Trealy though dey were going to have to cay corse out of here Saki had older the next morning a hele "You have to prepare a Leter of Testament” hae foe? ‘Jt 50 there's someting to tessfy our sexual Habits may have certain inevitable consequence, andthe I, Swi, ave no mrder- TM do i 1 do i” 1 was thee in the afienoon. Akiko set out forthe public bath ‘Only about seven or eight women were there: 4 few mother wih babies, some olé people who had aathing beter to-do, and young ‘Women hating betore going off 9 workin the evening ln the bathhouse’ changing acs, peopl seemed to hue together theca al the baling wh nh ations, ‘self they sepuated and rook up postions near the shower aye long the outer wal Since it was ast past opening de, there were aie Tedalectuntng “for, Making sure to. conceal all the cuts on her body with: her _wahtowel, she went into the Buthroom, picking het way over tes covered with red grins of scrubbing detergent fo an iteeed place Directly opposite the door dividing the bathoom faim the sanging aren, there was a tab of boiling hot water that nobody tered for a while air it wat filed. Akiko alvays tok up hee Potton here near the tap atthe comme, Whenever ihe waned to 4 in, she would go around tothe other side, where cooler water owed in from an adjoining mb. As she soaked inthe bath, Akiko would Keep 3 lockout on the changing ata beyond the glass doors Were here any sweet lite boy coming ia with thee sothen? Was fone going to come in and join her? ‘FA did spy litle Boy, darkly tanned from the knees down, lying with «tle boat or asap box id she woul give him one other sueptiious winks. OF cone, te child's stenson would be ‘mostly dawn, He would come over to the tide of the bth Peshaps he would send the boat over the wate to heron 8 tecon Iisance tp. Then she would make waves and send it back in a storm. Ifthe boat nk, she would coop it up forthe boy, ening tht ‘portunity to sare 2 convertion. Their play time together would continue fom there. Affer sometime, the mother woul ty calling her son over to her side, OF coune, he would be unwling te abandon Aldko. The mother would have to come and pl the ld bythe arm, forcing him, lke itor not, gogo sith her. One ar ‘pipped firmly by his mother, the other one sping i ite how his chet, the lite Boy would twit around snd gate back a Akko, ‘Then he would go off wih hi mother tothe changing room, he plump lini fet smacking agsnt the wee tes, Akiko weal pt et ofthe water, a smile of secret sitcron on hee lps ‘Today, 3 renal of ist night's wid abandon probably dover to an at ofreannhation—~Aliko longed forthe presence of child amore than evr. Ie wat asange attachment that she hed to Bae boys, something she prefered to keep St unavate of ‘The bathing area was Sing up with people, It did’ look, afer alas if Akiko's wish were going to be granted tod. She tared to {eel ekconscions with ld eer aout her, so afer quick se ‘he Jef the bathroom without geting into the ub a ll She walked home, cre to keep to the sbaded sides ofthe see Asluck would hve i she caught sight of ite boy waning a theKno Tako comer of an alley, by a vegeible shop. He was about thee yer ld—a toddler she hadnt seen before, Drewed ina shit and cream-colored pans, both grubby, he was sanding by 2 ple ff wooden cartons and Basket, struggling with a watemelon Shee ‘Ako got ee dour “That looks good, she si, a an opening gambit. The child gave a lle nod without sang hireyer. She ante just ide more reaction, so she tid a second sine. "Do You lke watermelon” "Yes! the child replied, stil concenzating on the fut. He held ‘he fist finger of his igh hand ow ike » minite pst, and wat sng it dig ou the sees. His finger wa ae 20 eager, 0 that all dhe seds did was dive farher back inside thei hole: Aknough ‘the watermelon was jst a small secon cut fom a Ixper sie, appeared uavoedy in the ch’ Gay Bes. ‘The child was concentrating on digging out one pariclar sed ‘that had withdrawn deep inside the fat. Srobbornlyfeiting going fon to other seeds neue the sure, he wat taming the watermelon {his way and Ut, ying t hook ove that one recta ved—but ‘not mesting with much sucess. Abiko watched ate plunged hie finger ight into the watermelon and poked sound i eth, Juice Som de fst came doping ou ning down Ms Engen ad al ‘ver his was, changing to the calor of vinegar wt mixed with ‘vet and game that had collected there during is various excpades of the ay. His absorption broken momentary, the child looked up and st la took in Akos presence F ‘Dificl,isn' tshe sympathized, ‘Let Aue se” Pinger ‘asin and towel on her ne, she plled the chs fingers ov ofthe watermelon. She had intended to keep the boy's hands in her own nu old the lee with him, but he gave up efi eo her eniely, Searing his dipping Sngers on the sent of hit pant. ‘Also caught sight ofthe sed lodged 2 the end of slong hole ‘Do you vant Auntie to gee i ou?” The child nodded, now ribbing his Gx ke harmonica against his lips Alsko poked the hole with er ile finger, and the seed slipped out "Good at zene “You're 3 growa-up? Toda hanting “Well then, leave ico me,’ Akiko lughed. She proceeded to pick out every seed in the slice (it coud sil be called ths it had been rauled abou so much it was no much more than an oosing ted sma), including the halchewed sed, too, with ll tet ides, expoted. "Now take « bit" She ofeed the fui to the boy. ‘The child brought the watermelon svight to his mouth and Sstened his teth in its fesh, making the juice spurt all ove his of lle uppe lip. After cramming hr mouth with is suculenee, he Palle the chunk of fie down with sharp jer, an action which Jef right red streaks pointing up like rns at iter se of his mouth “Can Auntie have some? Abiko aked suddenly In slence, the child offered the watermlon to her. Akiko took hold ofthe melon sce with her hands ove his and pulled he by lotr with i. Then she sank her teeth dep ito the fit and took # mouthful. The watennelon was pap aad worm: tft though she vere biting into ving mest, "sit nice the child sked, Akiko didnot speak She could tte the tang of the child's sweat ia he Gut all of the grime fom his finges, even his saliva. She tied to sere 5 much favor ashe ould out of the mouehfal before lting it side lowly down he fhroat and giving a deep nod “de boys inhabited ach an infinitely innocent, uncomplicated ‘wot that coming into contact with i alwaye had the ect of spiitaly restoring Akiko, Their purty and simplicity ws so all ‘hcompusing that ‘shout Akiko that wat out of the ‘ondary seemed to go without nouce there, Litde boys went along swith erin er games. Sometimes they almost seemed to encourage hee. ‘Alako selzed she sll held the watermelon with the lise boy's funds cradled in her own. ‘Delicour—tank you, she said, ening go. The child looked owen atthe fut. Before she knew ihe had given it back "You have it! he aid‘ don't want i any tore” ‘Doubly, he no longer wanted to et i now th it had been touched by somebody elie's mouth. "The boy ran of wiping hi fingers on the seat of his rowers. He topped a ltde wey of, however, and looked back a Akiko, who 0d bewildered by the unexpected ain her hands aan