The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

By
Mark Manson
“Problems never go away, they just improve. Warren Buffett’s got money problems; the
drunk hobo down at Kwik‐E Mart’s got money problems. Buffett’s just got better money
problems than the hobo. All of life is like this. Don’t hope for a life without problems,
there’s no such thing. Instead, hope for a life full of good problems.” – Mark Manson

The path to better problems and the good life starts by subtly not giving a f*ck in two ways.

1st
Subtly stop giving a f*ck who’s to blame for your problems and take responsibility .
The moment you stop looking for someone to blame and take full responsibility for your
problems, you will feel empowered to do something about them. Because if you’re not in a
better place a month from now, then it’s your fault. Spiderman's uncle said, "With great
power comes great responsibility," but Manson provides a more insightful quote: “With
great responsibility comes great power.”

When you take responsibility for a problem, you take responsibility for how that problem
makes you feel. If someone steals your car, the level of rage or calm you experience
afterward is entirely up to you, because you decide how you want to respond to the
situation. One way to have a more thoughtful response to your problems is to gain distance
from them. Gain distance from your problems by asking yourself, "How will I feel about this
problem 10 years from now?”

2nd
Subtly stop giving a f*ck how painful your problems are…

Your success is determined by your answer to the question: “What pain can you sustain?”
 “People who enjoy the struggles of a gym are the ones who run triathlons and have
chiseled abs and can bench‐ press a small house. People who enjoy long workweeks and
the politics of the corporate ladder are the ones who fly to the top of it. People who enjoy
the stresses and uncertainties of the starving artist lifestyle are ultimately the ones who
live it and make it.” – Mark Manson

The subtlety in subtly not giving a f*ck about how painful your problems are is about
knowing which pain you should lean into and which pain you should avoid. To know which
pain you should lean into, you must know your values.

Whenever you’re struggling with a problem, ask yourself: "What is the underlying value that
is causing my pain?"

The goal is to be aware of any outdated or superficial values you are needlessly suffering to
uphold, and replace them with more meaningful values, values you are willing to suffer for.
Life is full of suffering, but your suffering will feel meaningful if you choose values that are
worth suffering for.

You have a limited number of f*cks to give in your lifetime, use them wisely.

Quotes:
“Who you are is defined by what you’re willing to struggle for.”
“Life is essentially an endless series of problems. The solution to one problem
is merely the creation of another.”
“To be happy we need something to solve. Happiness is therefore a form of
action;”
“This is the most simple and basic component of life: our struggles determine
our successes.”
“Don’t just sit there. Do something. The answers will follow.”
“Maturity is what happens when one learns to only give a fuck about what’s
truly fuckworthy. As”
“Our crisis is no longer material; it’s existential, it’s spiritual. We have so much
fucking stuff and so many opportunities that we don’t even know what to give
a fuck about anymore.”
“The more something threatens your identity, the more you will avoid it.”
“If you want to change how you see your problems, you have to change what
you value and/or how you measure failure/success.”
Sources: https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/48297245-the-subtle-art-of-
not-giving-a-f-ck-a-counterintuitive-approach-to-livi